#I'm playing 4d chess with myself

[thethee]

post divorce human bill plus nonsense

[neverendingford]

.

[featherymainffins]

@dandelionsheep

so tired of this bullshittery

[horsefigureoftheday]

how can you be gay, bi , pan and lesbian at the same time

I'm playing 4D chess with gender and orientation babeyy

Serious explanation:

This ask has been sitting in my inbox since the beginning of June, when I posted this. I always wanted to answer it, I just needed to be in the right headspace to type out a genuine response.

I like gender. I like the expectations we have of people to present themselves a certain way when they say they are a certain gender, and I like playing around with that. (Online, anyhow - offline, I'm only fully 'out' to my partner and two close friends). But I don't feel comfortable being forced to comply with gender expectations. I feel comfortable being perceived as a guy, but only when I couple it with she/her pronouns and faggy jewelry. I feel comfortable being perceived as a girl, but only when I couple it with he/him pronouns and dykey shirts. My ideal self is a contradiction, my ideal transition is salmacian, and I don't enjoy being easy to predict, box in, or capture. I feel most free and most like myself, when I know no one can box me in.

I think a lot of people feel the same, though most of them probably express it through hobbies or fashion or speech patterns, rather than gender roles.

Many other people like being perceived correctly every time they meet a new person - they don't find it limiting, the way I do, they probably find it comfortable and safe. When you know how others perceive you, you can rest more easily.

But me, I feel trapped when others see my outfit or mannerisms or body and assume I'm [assigned gender]. And I don't doubt I'd feel trapped if, once I finally come out and start transitioning, people assume I'm [other gender] based on all that superficial stuff. I want to be allowed to play around with all gendered things, from appearance to pronouns to social roles, without being boxed in. I want my usage of she/him to be a protest against the she/her or he/him that everyone expects me to be. I want my he/him to be motherly and my she/her to be fatherly. I want my he/him to be feminine and my she/her to be masculine. I want to tell the world I'm a man while dressed like a queen, and vice versa. That's freedom for me. People tell me male and female are opposites, and I don't believe that. But if they are, then I'll gladly be the walking contradiction, made up of opposites.

The same is true of sexuality. I just... can't limit myself to one label without feeling like I'm suppressing myself. I've been with several people of several genders, and even when I look back on my days as an egg- when I think about being with a man or woman, back when I thought I was [assigned gender], I still feel like my love was gay. When I'm with a woman, I'm a lesbian. When I'm with a man, I'm gay. And yet, at the same time, the gender of whoever I'm attracted to always feels like an afterthought. It barely makes sense, but emotions don't have to make sense. And it doesn't help that 2 of my 4 exes became bi and 2 of them got new genders after dating me. Was it gay or straight of me to be with a transfem when she thought she was a guy and I thought I was [assigned gender]? The answer is yes, no, and it doesn't matter. All at the same time. It was gay and it wasn't and it doesn't matter. It was straight and it wasn't and it doesn't matter.

I can tell people that I'm a fem into fems, and that's good enough for most. In parades I wave the pan flag or the genderfluid flag, depending on mood (and how safe I feel - the pan flag still feels safer). I like the lesbian label. I like "bi lesbian" even more. Gaybian is good too. Mostly I'm a fem of gender looking for fems of gender. What gender? Yes.

[vaultsixtynine]

would you still love me if darcy and wyn's mom were the same person 👉👈

for the one millionth time i am considering changing wyn's parents' lore

[marinafanning]

some percy jackson incorrect quotes for you

reyna: I eat cheerios because they’re heart healthy. reyna: And my heart has been severely damaged, so jason, if you’re out there—

percy: If any person here knows of any just cause or impediment why these two should not be joined together in holy matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace. rachel: Yes! I do. One of the partners is already married! They married me three years ago. And don’t let them deny it! I’ve got the marriage certificate to prove it! hazel turns around to face them rachel: Oh… sorry. Wrong church.

piper and percy are fighting frank, taking aspirin: I have a headache! Can you guys just be cool?! piper and percy start fighting while wearing sunglasses and riding skateboards

calypso: Why are you drinking? reyna: I drink when I'm depressed. calypso: But you're always drinking? reyna: smug grin

nico: annabeth is off at an appointment, so while they’re gone, I’m going to cut the sleeves off all of my shirts. frank: Why? nico: They’re like 90% of my impulse control.

frank: How does one turn their emotions off? piper: Okay, so first go to settings. piper: I'm a fucking idiot, I thought that said emojis at first. frank: No, I'm still willing to try this, go ahead. I'm at settings, what do I do next?

nico: I’ve been described as a ‘heartless villain’ and a 'little shit’, but I prefer… 'has alternative ways of having fun’.

will: piper, I think we have a problem. piper: What, the fire? will: No, the- wait, what fire? piper: Oh forget about it, this sounds more interesting.

leo, dashing into the room: WHY AREN’T THE DISHES IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER?! frank: …What does that even mean?!

percy: What time is it? grover: I don’t know, pass me that saxaphone and we’ll find out grover: BLASTS the saxaphone calypso: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXAPHONE AT TWO IN THE FUCKING MORNING grover: It’s 2 am

rachel: See, the problem is, hazel, you’re playing 3D chess. I’m playing 4D. hazel: I’m playing checkers. I don’t know what the fuck you’re playing.

piper: If I had a face like yours, I'd put it on a wall and throw a brick at it. percy: If I had a face like YOURS, I'd put it on a brick and throw a wall at it.

piper, ordering Starbucks: Hey, I just got my heart broken, what do you recommend? annabeth, who’s running the drive thru: … annabeth: Tequila.

annabeth: I wouldn’t wish that upon my worse enemy! annabeth: Unless of course. . We’re talking about my enemy, rachel. Fuck you rachel, you know what you did!

rachel: Like, no offense to myself and all, but what the fuck am I actually doing?

juniper: I didn't drink that much last night. hazel: You were flirting with grover. juniper: So what? They're my partner. hazel: You asked if they were single. hazel: And then you cried when they said they weren't.

juniper: If I fall… piper: I’ll be there to catch you. calypso: looks at percy What if I fall? percy: Then I’ll fall with you, never leaving your side. rachel: watches these two interactions rachel, to annabeth: And if I fall? annabeth: I’ll be the one who pushed you.

thalia: If you ever feel stupid or weak or powerless, just remember that I am not. I am out there, very dangerous, and I am looking for you. Good luck.

percy: That's ridiculous, annabeth doesn't have a crush on me. will: Yes they do. juniper: Yes they do. annabeth: Yes I do.

[neyafromfrance95]

I dont think we give our boi annatar enough credit this season mans was playing 4d chess up there. He was keeping an eye on things in khazad dum, he was aware of adars moves, he was gaslight gatekeep manipulating his way through the forge, he was sending his ex-wife mind dms just to check on her (<3), he was weaving a web of deceit over eregion because apparently these people cant take a hint. Really! So he left the mouse on loop and forgot the candles and lil diamond on the hammer, can you blame the guy? So what if he found some comfort in fake!gal and the smith. If not for all that physical touching! It would send a lesser man (myself) over the edge let alone the evil prometheus goo entity. He just wanted his rings and to be done with this part but noooo. Free will and all that. Pesky.

I just watched s2e7 and noticed right after narvi rushes to durin as he's leaving for the siege, the scene shifts to annatar with his eyes closed in the forge. Just how many plans is he pulling simultaneously. Does he not get headaches? Damn girl.:(

Let him (dead dove) fight with his (ex)wife, I think he deserves a lil treat. 😔

(Charlies menacing/insane smile at gal will sustain me until s3 ngl ngl)

sauron won't ever escape his fate of being a natural born glorified secretary 😔 doing too much unappreciated work while fluttering his pretty lashes at people he absolutely loathes (everyone except for his little elf galadriel).

i'm telling ya'll, the tragedy of sauron is that he was meant to be a sub malewife, found a perfect girlboss to tame him, but nooo she had to be obsessed with slaying him when all he wanted was to merge souls for all eternity (what did he even do that horrible? he could be her finrod if she was so insane about her brother). so now he had to be content with getting off on her blood-thirst for him 😔 forced to be a dom evil incarnate hunting her in those woods to grope her mind and titties 😔

[hyaesia]

Hi Cat, I am here to annoy you and ask you about your Beach Ep Thoughts ™

With best,

Lavii :3

oh god okay where do i even begin ... in general that was the most devastating ending in fiction ever i think... and i think the sigcorp series might be the only series ever to be able to pull it off. it's crazy how sounding out what we already knew would happen was still so !!! poignant!!! the music was spectacular. the art was spectacular. freebird's commitment to rpgmaker is astounding and i love it (though i know last hour and onwards will be unity)

more specific thoughts:

i loved being able to see more of rox and rob, particularly i love that rob is just a Really Strange Guy instead of the only normal sigcorp employee like a lot of us thought he would be, i think it makes his & rox's dynamic all that much funnier. two weird and offputting guys on totally opposite sides of the weird and offputting spectrum

even though the plot was very In Your Face compared to every other entry in the sigcorp series (this was made to answer questions about IF, after all), there's still so much to discuss and theorize about! i've spent So much time already discussing how i suspect neil died w/ friends (which i could make into a whole other post. tbh) and whatever the hell was going on with the quintessence cast ?? (more on that later)

i loved seeing eva's walls crumble down. she lied about the journey mattering more to her than the ending, of course she did because she works the worst job on the planet and she has to lie to herself to keep going. i can't think too long about her in the very ending asking such vulnerable questions to neil about if he'd really do all those sweet relationshippy things for her or putting her head into her arms and sobbing after he asked how it happened.oh.my god

i genuinely thought the quintessence guys from the teasers would be cameo characters, which yeah they were for the most part! but lunair was so interesting... what did she mean when she said she's something else entirely!! where did she come from why is she in on the simulation with faye!! the only rational thing i can come up with is quintessence being a side-project by neil leaking into the simulations but then that makes her comment before irrelevant... head in my hands

and i love/hate how the Entire series has been a simulation by eva... god especially minisode 2,,, realizing that party Never Happened and it was just her trying to make a happier memory for herself. do you think that was the last christmas neil ever celebrated? do you think she ever really gave him the sound recorder, or was it her present self playing 4D chess with their memories? it'll be a very long time until i can bring myself to replay any of these games knowing i'm being complicit in eva's unhealthy grief habits. well fucking done kan gao .how did you do it

shorter thoughts that don't need their own paragraphs: the minigames were so fun, the spectator mode for xtreme beach was such a fun touch; i loved the ingame confirmation about colin and river being deskmates; i think last hour will be the last hour of neil's life; after kan's tweet last year about last hour & the beach episode being the good and bad ending respectively, i placed my bets on beach being the good ending. i really hope i'm wrong now actually after seeing it; and finally i've already listened to world in a memory 200 times, it makes me nauseous every time

in conclusion: i need to hug eva rosalene so fucking badly

[he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle]

Favorite BL Antagonists

I was tagged by @my-rose-tinted-glasses (thank you!) and quickly realized that as far as currently airing BLs go, we all have the same faves! So to switch it up, I'm opting to have you guys pick from my favorite (least favorite? most hated? most annoying? most beloathed?) antagonists. They aren't necessarily villains (though some may be), and the show may or may not have redeemed them. But they definitely stirred up shit. These are the characters that at some point, I wanted to punch in the face or toss off a cliff.

Plern Pleng - Together With Me

Just saying her name makes me want to slap someone. I wanted to slap her every time she was on my screen. She invokes a really visceral need see her slapped. She's the OG of BL Witches-With-A-B, and to this day I still find myself comparing newer characters (like Eun Ji in The Eighth Sense) to her and find they don't usually measure up to her level of audacity.

Todd - Not Me

Whatever twisted situationship he had going on with Black, he rocked having a gun pointed to his face. And the confidence that Black couldn't kill him any more than he could kill Black looked sexy as hell on him. But he unapologetically put Black in a coma, deceived White and used him as an unwitting spy, and worked against our ragtag team of anti-establishment protesters.

Tawan - Kinnporsche

He came back into Kinn's life with his sad puppy dog eyes acting like a victim, and it's true he was a unknowing pawn in Vegas' 4D chess match with Kinn and ultimately got outplayed. But he put a gun to Porsche's head and for that I will not forgive him.

Kit - Never Let Me Go

Yeah, yeah, I'm using a gif from The Sign. That's because I spent a half hour searching for gifs of him as the hot uncle in a suit from Never Let Me Go and while I did find some they weren't of him alone. When I looked for gifs of the actor, Nat Sakdatorn, they were mostly of him in The Sign, in 609 Bedtime Story, and kissing Singto in FriendZone. So I figured I'd grace your dashes with him shirtless because... well, you're welcome. Anywho, in Never Let Me Go, Kit was greedy and fucked up and a shit father. But he was smoking hot while doing it!

Uea's Mom - Bed Friend

How evil do you have to be before absolutely no one on this hellsite is willing to gif you? As bad as this lady, apparently! I searched high and low using the actor's name, every combination of description of the scenes and episodes she was in, even used Google. And let me tell you, people only giffed Uea's reactions to her (I don't blame y'all. He's legit that pretty) or her in passing. So... Thida. Is a shit mom. And a criminal. And a child abuser. And a homophobe. And she's one of the only Bad Parents in Thai BL who got what was coming to them.

Anyone else want to play? Tag! You're it. No pressure tags to @lurkingshan @respectthepetty @slayerkitty @bengiyo @wanderlust-in-my-soul

And also: @wen-kexing-apologist @twig-tea @waitmyturtles @spicyvampire @stefanyd

[tothestarsinvelaris]

My unhinged reactions to the chaotic ride that is The Folk of the Air series ((first two books only bc I'm only 30% through The Queen of Nothing soooo ---- no spoilers plsss))

The Cruel Prince Worst Betrayals:

TARYN - MA'AM!!?????!??? You knewww?? you knew Locke was playing both of y'all??? and you weren't even ensorcelled or whatever?!?!? GIRL?! "if you let me seduce your sister in front of you and keep your mouth shut it proves that I love you" I'M sorry?!?!!??? I absolutely cannot. Someone will need to give me some serious break down of why tf I shouldn't jump in there and smack the bitch myself for being so stupid and betraying her sister like that smh ((more on this bs later bc i've made it far enough through TQON to know things))

JUDE!!!!!!!! - Girl why tf are you gonna do my boy Cardan dirty like that???? He finally TRUSTED YOUR ASS okay?! he is clearly a lil bby who has never had a hug and never felt loved and is v much into you so maybe you should be NICE TO HIM (or mean bc hes into that obvs) but like -- you put the damn crown on his head when he SPECIFICALLY ASKED YOU NOT TO?!??????? oof

The Wicked King:

I sat there really trying to figure out who tf betrayed Jude already when Nicasia's jealous ass said that and like I knew it was not my boy Cardan bc he has never done anything wrong in his entire life and he has a plan and reasons and you can't tell me any different okay!? someone ((JUDE)) just hug the damn boy and pat his lil head and tell him everything is gonna be okay pls?? and I knew that boy Locke and stupid idiot Traitor Taryn were sus. Obvs Madoc is a dumb murder bitch so like?? DUH he was gonna do something stupid since you know, he already fucking committed treason. I just sat there from page one waiting for those three to pull some stupid shit to betray Jude and OBVS I WAS RIGHT ! those stupid idiot dumb dumbs can't help themselves but betray Jude! hate them allllllll hate hate hate

but the scream i screamed when the Ghost of all damn people - (me picturing him as some kinda cute lil spy cutie) - called for Jude in that tower and was like "naaaahhh I worked for Dain bitch, not your ass" I'm???? sorrryyy??? betray ME?! the READER OF THIS BOOK?!??! excuse you!

but also the way Cardan was like "tell me you hate me" and "i want to tell you so many lies" and "i'm a sad lil bby and nobody has ever cared about me" and "i trusted you" and "marry me" and "crawl to me" crawl to meee????? sir. and he sent her ass to the mortal world but did not deny her and did not revoke their marriage so likeeee??? jude girly use your damn brain okay babes i know its in there somewhere so pls just get back to your 4D chess game you had in book 1 and realize this man loves you and is trying to PROTECT YOU OKAY ugh!!!!!

Currently reading The Queen of Nothing so like.... doing my damn best to fly through this book so I can finally look at fanart and fandom shit okay? gh

[greatbigbellies]

You can't just drop "had a tgirl make out with my tummy while i played with her hair" and not go into more detail. Are you trying to blueball us?

Considering my audience yeah you're right. Let me regale you...

This was, like I said in the tags, like 5+ years ago. I hadn't even figured out I was trans yet, and was still in college, and was invited to a party by a trans girl I knew from us both having a class together, and sharing an extracurricular. I'd known her for about an academic year, she was very sweet but kind of a wild card.

If I'm remembering right, I think it was her birthday? I remember at one point giving her nail polish because it was something my broke-college-student-ass could afford, and was gender affirming for her. Though that may have been from a different evening, I went to her place for social gatherings a few times...

Aaaanyway, when I got there, our girl was already enough shots and bong rips in that she like... couldn't really sit up straight. She was very excited to see me but was also pretty out of it (for anyone jumping to conclusions or concerned where this story goes, no, there was no sex, she was much too inebriated for me to feel okay doing that). She was just kind of laying on the floor vibing, and she asked me to join her, so I did.

And she placed her head on my lap. And she asked my to lift my shirt up a little, so I did.

And she asked me to run my fingers through her hair, so I did.

And this lovely lady, unprompted, starts just kissing my tummy. I'm still not sure if it was something she was into or if she just wanted something to smooch and it was there but like... that was the night I learned that my tummy is an erogenous zone for me.

And this went on for like, 30+ minutes? She was kissing and occasionally licking my belly and it was sensory bliss. And I would just run my fingers through her hair and gently play with it. I'd ask how she was and she'd stop just long enough to answer before going back to it. The whole party kept going on around us, people talking and drinking and me and her just sitting on the floor vibing through it all. We eventually made it to the couch and she was still pretty handsy. (Now that I'm thinking on it more she did keep a hand on my tummy while she sat next to me so I'd be shocked if she didn't have the tummy kink too)

That night fixed me. Like, even though it didn't go farther than that, it kinda clicked something into place for me. That was just such a lovely moment of blissful intimacy that made us both pretty happy, and I'm not sure if she ever looks back on it, but I certainly do.

That was also during a point in my life where I'd resigned myself that people wouldn't find me physically appealing (in that bullshit very early 20's way of like, trying to 4D chess other peoples emotions and basing your self worth on how other people perceive you. If you're feeling that I promise it goes away, and also there are people who are hella into you, give it time). But she was like, so hands on and unabashedly all over me that evening that it like, reminded me that I was desirable in that way. Which, writing this NOW at 28 and looking back on it, sounds super melodramatic, but the fact is it DID kinda fix that part of me that thought I wasn't sexy. I was then, I am now, and I even have a little more tummy for kissing should the need arise.

So there's my "tgirl makes out with my tummy while I play with her hair" story, which I assume is a universal experience that everyone had while in college.

[ask-court-genshin]

«FIRST EBG CONCLUDES...»

The "ghost" enters Lumine's room with a hollow expression on his face. The hydro eidolon, Kopi, looked up to him with an alarmed expression.

"Y-You?!?" They gawked. "You're not supposed to be here–"

"Stop the act, I know who you are." Dainsleif half-muttered, tired. "I know it's you...

... Ansy."

...

The hydro eidolon evaporated.

"Aww... That quick?"

In a matter of seconds, all the blue was washed away from the person the twilight sword was conversing with. In front of him stood his spouse, Ansy.

"And here I thought I was doing a relatively decent job, hiding from you," they shrugged. "You know, just like what you've done to me for around 400 years or so."

"Ansy..."

"How did you figure it out?" Ansy cheerfully asked in stark contrast to Dain's unapproving stare. "I'm sure you already have a list in your person."

He clicked his tongue, somewhat insulted by how much his partner knows him before handing out a clean parchment.

"It isn't that hard to deduce, my beloved." Dainsleif snarled.

"Congratulations!" Ansy clapped sarcastically. "Want a medal?"

"But this Lawrence." He gritted his teeth. "Where is he now?"

Ansy snorted.

Ah, right. I forgot I'm a villain, too.

"Dead, of course." They spoke so casually as if a murder confession was not at all concerning. "Dain, he's made of water. You know how pathetically easy it is to kill hydro slimes, right?"

"Am I supposed to be–"

"He's not even a real person." They rolled their eyes. "I created him. Made him up like an eighth grader convincing his friends he has a totally hot girlfriend in Inazuma and she just can't come visit. He doesn't even actually have any consciousness."

"And yet he's still based off a real person."

"Yes, he is." Ansy nodded, sighing in defeat, knowing that their next words is bound to sound disgustingly fragile. "He's based off YOU."

"He's based off how you were back then– how you used to be such a knight who'd act so clumsy whenever we talk to each other."

"Tell me, Dain, why the FUCK would he be blonde with strikingly blue– but not as beautiful as yours– eyes when the real Lawrence is a brunette???"

...

...

"You..." He trailed off, flabbergasted. "I am absolutely astounded. Is this your roundabout way of fessing up that you cannot love another man and therefore had to mold water to my likeness in order to survive a week of EBG?"

Dainsleif covered his mouth with a hand before looking away. They knew from the way his shoulders slightly rose by a hair that he snorted in secret.

"That polaroid picture– was that our masquerade ball last year? Did you just alter it a bit to–"

Ansy coughed, not particularly eager to answer that and boost his ego.

Seems they're both equally obsessed.

"Anyways, I completed my mission." They digressed. "I infiltrated the Astro Network to see what's up and survived an EBG while no one rats me out for my @throwaway-yandere persona. I think I won. No one gave me a strike. I'm the one deserving of a medal for playing 4D chess while everyone does EBG."

Dainsleif sighed audibly loud.

"I'd ask for your forgiveness but I think you deserve this offensive statement: my beloved, you are an idiot."

"A homicidal idiot. I killed two people– three if you count Lawrence."

"Four if you still consider me a ghost."

"We're Khaenri'ahn, we don't die." Ansy laughed. "And quite frankly, you're real to me."

Dainsleif's eyes softened.

"I'm certain this isn't how lovers normally pull pranks on one another."

"Well, you diiiiiid kill me brutally on another timeline, so can't you consider us even here?"

He pulled them close.

"500 mora, and I shall consider the thought."

"Boo, you jerk."

"You're evil, and I'd consider myself a good man for this bargain."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll turn myself in Fontaine's prison soon, don't worry."

"Good. See you in another century." Dainsleif joked in his usual flat tone.

"Oh, and Dain?"

"... I'm afraid to hear what you're about to say."

"I looked at the throwaway account and uh, we now have approximately 3,200 gremlin children...?"

"What. I thought you quit writi–"

"They're signing their own adoption papers it's not my fault–"

"Oh, matters not. Happy 3,200 gremlins, Ansy."

"Hmm hmm! Happy 3.2k!!!"

[dragontamerno3]

DS9 E2E18 - Profit and Loss

Star Trek is really good at both telling us who the bad guys are in a very black and white fashion but they're also very good at then taking that and throwing it into a blender to make things all sorts of shades of gray. I find myself feeling the shades of gray with the Cardassians. I rather loathe them, in the way that we're supposed to. They're literal space yahtzees, the show has stated that they've created war crimes similar to those of the Holocaust. It's valid to hate them. That said, they keep dropping stray Cardassians into the mix that aren't like the others. Quark's lost love being one of them.

Everytime a Cardassian comes aboard I'm waiting for the ultimate betrayal and while a betrayal did happen, I'm honestly glad it came from the clearly marked oppressor.

I appreciate how even the Cardassians would have freedom fighters that were around to try to help save Cardassia from fash rule. I was a little weirder out that she kept calling them her students, but only because it made it feel more cult like but that was just a side note my brain kept thinking throwing at me when she did lol

Quark's storyline in this was interesting. I'm not generally a fan of sudden romance stories but the idea that a Ferengi would give up everything for a woman is incredibly out of character (as a whole) it was fascinating to watch him go from "SHE gets free things, you have to pay" to "You're with her, you get free drinks but only drinks" to "I'll give you this VERY important device for free if you get her to stay" to "Take me with you, I'll abandon everything for you."

To be clear, I don't think that last part would have lasted, even if he stayed devoted and loyal, he'd still start to scheme or try to make a profit somewhere. The man doesn't even take his first breath in the morning before he starts to consider the money he can make, he's not giving it up completely. But even the idea of it was interesting.

And then he got Odo to release them? And Odo did? Shocking but awesome all the same.

Having an episode with Garak and no Bashir should be a crime but having a very flamboyant Garak in the episode at all is a win that I'll take.

I wasn't sure the angle they were trying to pull with him because, from my read on the character so far he was against the Cardassian regime or at least had grown to have a bad taste for it so when he "outed" them for being there I was super confused.

Even when he showed up at the end to kill them I was kinda surprised that he would do that. But when he ended up killing the actual villain of this specific episode instead it made me wonder if he was playing some kind of 4D chess. Still don't know where he stands (and I'm okay with it) or what his intentions were but I appreciate the outcome. Chaos Garak for the win.

A show note, not exactly an episode note (though it did happen here): I love how they use his tailor shop and analogies to describe things/situations/warn folks. This is the second time he's done this and its a fun narrative feature that I dig.

7/10 - the plot itself was all over the place and I have more questions than answers but this was a fun ride. Saved from a 6.5 because Garak, though.

[chelledoggo]

sometimes when i feel depressed or worthless, i'll retreat into daydreams.

i'll sometimes imagine my favorite characters comforting me, telling me that i'm worthwhile and that everything's gonna be okay.

that got me thinking:

i could never bring myself to imagine these same characters telling me i'm worthless and that i'm a failure who could just give up. it feels wrong. blasphemous, almost.

i wonder... are these characters in my mind just the part of me that loves myself?

like i find it so hard to love myself directly, so i have to do it by proxy of imagining a character loving me instead.

i'm not sure if that's my brain playing 4D chess in developing a coping system for me... or if it's just sad, lol.

[autobot-ratchet]

MTMTE 56, 57, and Revolution

MTMTE 56

and now for something completely different

“I know I'm paranoid. Contrary to popular belief, that doesn't mean I think everyone's out to get me. It just means I don't know who is and who isn't.” HEY. BIG SAME LMFAO not to gripe on fandom culture once again but y'all literally ruined my brain chemistry and I think it's fair for me to talk about it lmAO I know that not literally everyone who participates in fandom is an insane person who wants to start a harassment campaign against a complete nobody like me because it would be easy clout and no one would help me, in fact most of you are pretty cool, but I know someone will. Because someone always does. I've seen enough of my peers get hurt and/or die to know that someone always does, even if you think you're not popular enough. Like, I hope y'all realize what a fucking act of bravery posting all this has been for me lmfAO you have no idea how many times I've had to stop myself from editing out a hot take out of fear that even one chronically online individual might feel the need to punish me to protect the purity of the funny alien robot comic, including this paragraph

gfdsjkk I forgot Fort Max just fuckin kicks Prowl while he's in his alt mode so it just looks like he's kicking a police car. ACAB

oh god Outrigger's a fuckin youtuber lmAO

aww I do like that both Fort Max and Red Alert tried to get in contact with anyone they could when they saw everyone's farewell message, they still have everyone's numbers. Ooh except Chromedome changed his, or at least I assume Prowl's talking about Chromedome

ooohh right, this was another theory if I remember correctly, that Fort Max used to be Pious Maximus, like he got shadowplayed from being one to the other. I vaguely remember a panel I think way back in the Shadowplay arc of a dude in the background who looked kind of like Fort Max when Prowl and Chromedome found one of the institutes

casually thousand yard stares off into space at Sentinel's monologue about how Cybertron is now full of “mongrel Cybertronians” and he wants to “wipe the slate clean.” I wish life would imitate art would imitate life a little less lmfAO

*points at Prowl* lol but also Sentinel leave Red alone, he doesn't deserve this

MTMTE 57

ohh man here we go, last issue of MTMTE. It's not the end of the comic, it just changes names, but this still always feels like a milestone. The name changes, the main artist changes, this is absolutely a turning point and it always feels strangely bittersweet to reach it during a readthrough

“You're not one of THOSE, are you?” is still such a funny line of dialogue, truly on some care bears villain shit

still incredibly funny that Prowl has to use his table-flipping skills to reactivate the titan. The release mechanism was just. Conveniently table-shaped

man no wonder Red Alert got overwhelmed and tried to end it, poor dude's been out here playing 4D chess with his own brain for millions of years

fgshdjks Sentinel gets knocked into a pit by a bird and unceremoniously falls to his death. I've never seen anyone get more owned in my life

“You hate change. I sympathize.” “I hate endings.” “Same thing.” yEAH. YEAH THAT'S WHY THIS ALWAYS FEELS SO BITTERSWEET like yeah it's not an actual ending, but it is the end of certain constants that had been established (like the name, the main artist, etc) and like. That's enough! That's enough of a change for it to be felt! Not to get too deep or anything but it's normal to mourn for the loss of a life you're still living because it's no longer the same life

MTMTE Revolution

but before we move on, one more issue of MTMTE lmAO

god I completely forgot about Crankcase's online boyfriend

gfsjdkl Krok and Fulcrum trying to help Crankcase prepare for his date........ they're real ones

gOD THEIR STUPID HOLOMATTER AVATARS...

THEY FUCKIN BURIED HIS ASS god they are so bad at humans lmfAO

aww, Grimlock... shame he had to level a handful of cities to get his keepsake back but that's very sweet lmAO

fdhjks poor MP3

[mothwithteeth]

My mother is a master of the psychological warfare required to keep her mentally ill kids from offing themselves. She KNOWS I worry about her eating enough and having good things to eat. We've discussed the eldest daughter urge to take care of your mom bc we invite my grandmother over on Sundays so my mom can provide her mother with a nutritious meal (and leftovers) at least once a week. She also knows I'm having a hard time with existing. So on Sunday she hit me with "I get to try all kinds of good food because I have someone to share it with" in reference to me (and I cried about it) but she knows I can't kill myself if being alive means she eats good food. She'd playing 4d chess with the demons in my head