#I'm organizing information sorry

[waywardsunlight]

Compiling all of the canon evidence about Caleb because I noticed sources are getting muddled. Below the cut is all the canon info I could find with the episodes and who said it/ where it came from.

Caleb was alone as a child raising his little brother, at some point they moved from an unknown location to Gravesfield (Masha, TTT). The two of them played a witch hunter game where they dressed up in costumes. We see Caleb playing a witch, stepping in a trap Philip set. They also churned butter together and Caleb whittled Philip's mask in Gravesfield. (Portraits, Hollow Mind) Caleb met Evelyn at an unknown point, and bonded over birds, where she was disguised as a human. (Dana Terrace) Later, as a teen, Caleb and still child Philip went on a witch hunt. They found Evelyn in the woods (may or may not be related to witch hunt) and discovered she was a witch. Caleb was accepting of her and the duo began traveling back and forth between Gravesfield and the Boiling Isles, developing a secret code to travel, leaving Philip behind from his perspective. (Portraits/ cut portrait, Hollow Mind. Masha, TTT). As an adult, Caleb cut his hair. (Statue, Yesterday's Lie) At an unknown time, he acquired the cabin near the Noceda house. He had his (implied in KT/TTT) blue coat embroidered with the symbol of a bird in a cage, and this coat became Philip's at an unknown point in time. (King's Tide/TTT) Caleb or Evelyn also hid the Rebus Box under the floorboards and created said Rebus and hid the Titan's blood near the portal with an owl stopper. (TTT) At some point, as Caleb and Philip were adults, a fire started at the current day historical society and Caleb + Evelyn vanished. Philip followed after, leaving a diary behind which was used to understand the situation by the townspeople (Jacob, Yesterday's Lie. Masha, Storyboard for TTT, considering canon as complacent). Philip states that it takes him five years to find the Titan's blood and in the image he is growing a beard (Eclipse Lake). He has a medium length beard when he confronts Caleb and Evelyn first in his beast form, transforming back when Caleb hugs him. At this point, Evelyn is pregnant with a child and she and Caleb are holding hands. A later shot shows Philip holding a knife behind his back as Caleb smiles and Evelyn is turned away. Philip is wearing the blue coat. At a later point, Caleb has his hands up, holding a flat edged knife looking worried as Philip walks to the right. Caleb is on the ground with flames around him, and those flames die down as he dies. Philip sees himself in the reflection of the dagger with blood on it. Evelyn returns and uses a gold magic, hitting Philip as he runs away. (Portraits, Hollow Mind) At an unknown point, Philip obtains Caleb's remains and begins several failed grimwalker experiments until the episode Elsewhere and Elsewhen where he meets the Collector.

Missing/fragment evidence: Philip and Caleb are missing information for most of their adulthood, and Evelyn has extremely scare information. A mural in Belos's castle representing wild witches burning a town resembles Eda with short hair in a green dress and a blonde witch with rounder ears, likely Evelyn and her daughter. (Watching and Dreaming) The blue coat has never been proven to belong to Caleb, other than Masha using a similar blue coat in TTT and Belos's sensitivity to the coat being mentioned/ him always wearing it. There is no canon explanation as to how Caleb ended up alone with Philip, where their parents are, or how they got the cabin. It is unknown if Philip confronting Caleb in his beast form and Caleb's murder happened at the same time or on different days, or where Flapjack or Evelyn is for the murder (although she returns from the right, the same direction Philip was facing with the knife) (Hollow Mind). Flapjack has limited information but is likely Evelyn's bird (Dana Terrace). Caleb was a whittler and may have carved Palismen, as that later becomes the family business of the Clawthornes, and Evelyn is a Clawthorne. However this isn't provably canon.

[creekfiend]

I used to get an arguments on facebook and it bit me in the ass enormously because it turns out that when you get an arguments on facebook habitually, you'll be interacting with a lot of other people who get an arguments on facebook habitually, and most of these people are deeply unpleasant and they will be super mean to you in really fucked up ways. so for a couple of years I just sort of dropped off ever interacting with anyone who said things that I did not agree with. I would just scroll past stuff or I would get upset about it privately and move on. I did not ever engage. and the last couple of weeks I've started being able to say things in response to things I don't agree with in ways that I feel lay out what my perspective is but do not get overly invested in "winning" or "proving" anything -- I will say my piece generally for the benefit of other people who might be reading the conversation and need to hear what I have to say. and then I will turn notifications off and go do something else.

anyway. wow. y'all heard about this? pretty cool shit.

[baravaggio]

sophia do u have any vegetarian/vegan holiday recipes 🤲🏼

I'm so glad you asked, of course I do!

Some of these things are from my cookbooks, so anything with a book emoji will be shown below the read more just to save space

Starting with desserts:

Vegan chocolate pie (Nora Cooks) - my favorite one to make for thanksgiving, my family (all meat eaters) loves it so much that I end up making two every year! It's really important to use the tofu that comes in aseptic packaging (the kind that's shelf stable) because the refrigerated kind WILL taste like tofu and you don't want that lol...works great in an Oreo crust or just as a mousse too!

Chocolate pecan pie (Isa Chandra Moskowitz)

Cranberry Spice Oatmeal Cookies (Isa Chandra Moskowitz) - these have great flavor but I recommend subbing butter for coconut oil so they don't spread super thin

Vegan Coffee Cake (Vegan Richa) - great for breakfasts! You could easily make them into coffee cake muffins too

📚 Pastry Crust (Isa Chandra Moskowitz's The Superfun Times Vegan Holiday Cookbook) - great staple pie crust that gets its flakiness from a mix of olive and coconut oils! I use this for savory stuff like quiches and pot pies too. Highly recommend the cookbook, it covers everything from Valentine's Day to Passover to Halloween!

📚 Chocolate Gingerbread Cookies (Isa Chandra Moskowitz's Isa Does It cookbook)

📚 Chai Spice Snickerdoodles (Isa Chandra Moskowitz's Isa Does It cookbook)

Savory Thanksgiving & Christmas things:

Easy Vegan Gravy (Nora Cooks) - really simple & much better than the store bought stuff

Easy Vegan Quiche (Jessica in the Kitchen) - more for lunch/brunch than anything, but I like to make a couple these around the holidays because they're so easy to customize & put together

Vegan Alfredo Sauce (Purely Kaylie) - you can put this on pasta of course but I like to use this to fold into mashed potatoes or make a gratin with during the holidays!

Green Bean Casserole (Isa Chandra Moskowitz) - made this one year at the request of a family member, it came out great!

📚 Maple-Mustard Brussels Sprouts with Radicchio and Pecans (Isa Chandra Moskowitz's I Can Cook Vegan cookbook)

Creamy Polenta and Mushroom Ragout (Good Food) - just comfort food tbh!

📚 Glazed Tofu Ham (Isa Chandra Moskowitz's The Superfuntimes Vegan Holiday Cookbook) - I swear by this and make several before thanksgiving because I inhale them - imo works better as a filling for sandwiches or on the side for breakfast, but could be used as a main dish as well!

📚 Winter Squash Cups with Wild Rice, Hazelnuts, and Cherries (Isa Chandra Moskowitz's The Superfuntimes Vegan Holiday Cookbook) - made this once and used cranberries instead of cherries!

Some Hanukkah stuff! which I highly recommend trying even if you don't celebrate Hanukkah, my family does a mixed holiday celebration so I keep these in my rotation for those occasions:

Latkes and Vegan Sour Cream (Isa Chandra Moskowitz) - can also dip in applesauce or top with caramelized onions if you prefer sweet!

📚 Raspberry Rugelach (Isa Chandra Moskowitz) - classic, chocolate, and raisin variations from her holiday cookbook

📚 Matzoh Ball Soup (Isa CHandra Moskowitz)

And I have to include a couple heavy hitters, these are for if you're serious about spending a lot of time in the kitchen and maybe want to show off a little lol - well worth the effort, but not for everyone!

Succulent Roast Turky (The Gentle Chef) - I haven't tried a seitan turkey that's come close to being as good as this one. Lots of time & ingredients, but well worth the effort

Anything from Miyoko's Artisan Vegan Cheese cookbook - the best vegan cheese you will ever eat. Requires a couple weeks prep because you have to allow time to ferment the base liquid and culture the cheese - I'm starting mine today! I made a detailed post about my experience trying this out here, and there's images with instructions for making the rejuvelac, cashew base, and a Boursin-style cheese in it as well! Of course if you don't want to do all that you can buy the Miyoko's cheese that's sold in stores, those are great too 😅

Peter Reinhart's Bagels (Smitten Kitchen) - if you suffer from lack of good bagels in your area, this is one way to fix that! Bagels are essential to any holiday celebration in my family so I figured I'd include this lol

Here's the stuff from the cookbooks!

Pastry Crust:

Chocolate Gingerbread Cookies:

Chai Spice Snickerdoodles:

Maple-Mustard Brussels Sprouts with Radicchio and Pecans:

Glazed Tofu Ham:

Winter Squash Cups With Wild Rice, Hazelnuts, and Cherries:

Vegan Sour Cream:

Rugelach (Classic, Chocolate, and Raisin variations highlighted):

Matzoh Ball Soup:

[vampiresuns]

having a tav that's a Lloth-sworn life domain cleric of a noble background who before getting yeeted into the nautiloid was a sacrificial priestess (gn) during one of the cycles of Drow society and had their own altar and temple under their care, means Solune would have the most insane however many minutes they spent interacting with Minthara and I am obsessed about it. As far as I'm conceptualising it, I'm thinking of Lloth as extremely Ungoliant-like. Goddess of hunger, goddess of wanting and consumption, goddess of excess and exuberance, goddess who unmasked the hypocritical gods of starvation, guilt and purity into a society that cherishes a certain kind of clarity about the double standard they impose. For Drow are evil for their wars and their wanting and their taking, but those other people with their other gods kill, warmonger and enslave with no regard and no self-awareness, calling the indignation about receiving scraps from a bunch of silent, unrepentant gods, "guilt and shame". There is violence in denial and her Children will not suffer it.

In the season of Life, they do not sacrifice the unwilling. It is taboo. The only sacrifice that matters is the desire to be devoured and destroyed by the things you love the most.

And Solune sees Minthara and is like fucking finally, someone rational enough to get what I'm going through, that they're losing their mind that their life was taken from them and if they become this other thing, if they transform, if they do not remain Luxe Solune Mizzmyrra, Life Knife of Lloth, they're never going to be able to be reintegrated into that life. They will die away from home, from their temple, from their (first) spouse, from their mother and their siblings and there won't be the day when they too succumb to the knife, when it is time, when the day they no longer feel hunger comes.

And then the parasite gives them an in into Minthara thinking she was raised from the darkness into a FALSE GOD? One thing you do not do is steal from Lady Lloth, and oh my god, there could've been a time, a chance that existed only in ignorance, of Solune lending a hand to Minthara but this to them is unforgivable because Solune is genuinely a good friend to their friends, but if you keep peeking into whatever mindset nobility and religious authority has given them it's like realising your friend is a cesspool of "what the actual and everliving fuck", and when the knife of the morningstar priestess comes down on Minthara it won't be with love but with absolute rage, grief and disgust and I will be thinking about this for evermore. Thanks, I'm not well

[shorelinnes]

hi guys just a reminder to please fact check posts before reblogging them 🙏

[essektheylyss]

I will admit, my cosmological knowledge is honestly muddy at best, because I read every planar manual in existence in rapid succession roughly four years ago, have made up a lot of cosmological bits and bobs as needed for fic purposes, and also recently got an intensive crash course on a totally different conceptualization of the Feywild for my own D&D game, before we even touch on other non-D&D-based fictional worlds including my own that I know to varying extents and also the absolute bare minimum knowledge of parallel universe theories in real world physics and some decent exposure to philosophical theories of time, so like... as you might imagine, it is the absolute weirdest of soups in that part of my brain.

[starheirxero]

THERE'S SO MANY MORE CONNECTIONS BETWEEN ROBOTS AND HUMANS THAN I THOUGHT ACTUALLY.

Robots can have different operating systems with different code and different layouts and different purposes just like human brains. Robots can have automamtic responses either coded into them or learned over time just like humans.

Humans can be stuck in feedback loops with others and in internal loops with themselves just like robots. Humans can have certian traits and thoughts and actions hard wired into them just like robots.

It's all in da brain babey....... we're both computers, just different flavors. we're both man-made at the end of the day

[peregrineggsandham]

But that’s wrong? Someone can say “Its raining”, but that doesn’t mean the other person hears or even understands them, even if they speak the same language. It means nothing.

I mean, we can just talk about the sequence of sounds that we can write out phonetically as /ɪts ˈreɪnɪŋ/. And yes, those are inherently meaningless. It's just a bunch of noises! As I said, nothing iconic, or even remotely evocative of rain.

But meaning is formed around that sequence of sounds by those who create and hear it - speaker and listener alike. And that meaning is predicated on a wonderful mix of speaker intention, listener bias, historical context, shared cultural knowledge, and a host of unspoken conversational maxims and patterns.

I was definitely focusing on the meaning as interpreted by the listener in that last post, so I'm sorry if that confused things. And I was sort of assuming that the listener and speaker were in an ongoing conversation and understanding each other. But even if they weren't, even if the listener couldn't understand the speaker, that doesn't mean the utterance itself "means nothing". If said with the intent to communicate, then it definitely means something at the very least to the speaker! Like you said - someone can say it! And there lies a full half of the meaning.

Conversation is inherently a collaborative act, but it starts with the speaker's intent behind an utterance. They're taking a complex idea - the concrete "rain", the more abstract "-ing" and "'s", the somewhat idiomatic "it" - and turning that combination of ideas into the movement of a stream of air, following a strict set of patterns and rules that developed organically over thousands of years. That's neat!

If the listener doesn't speak the language, or mishears, then they may not pick up on that meaning. It could just be sounds, to them. Or they may even misunderstand, and pick up an unintended meaning. If they lack some of the required context (e.g. by not knowing a word), or if the speaker is flouting one of those unspoken maxims (e.g. by being sarcastic) and the listener doesn't realize it, the meaning may be warped.

The utterance of the sounds /ɪts ˈreɪnɪŋ/, the writing of the phrase "It's raining", you're right that these aren't inherently meaningful. If the sequence "itsraining" happened to appear in a randomly-generated string of letters, I wouldn't personally assume any meaning to it. And since this train of thought did start on the topic of magic, I'll say I find nothing particularly magical about a string of random sounds or letters either.

(Now, if you did see meaning in that random string, I think you'd effectively be practicing some kind of divination, by believing that there was intent behind the randomness. That the universe or whoever or whatever produced the string was actively trying to communicate with you. That's a pretty common idea when we talk about certain kinds of "magic". I think it's interesting that words, symbols, and communication from some unseen "speaker" are so integral to our understanding of it, and I think there's something to be said there for seeing language itself as an inherently "magical" thing regardless of whether your interlocutor is just your next-door neighbor or... whatever you personally believe is at the other end of an alectryomancy session. But dammit Jim I'm a phonetician, not an occultist.)

Point is, in conversation, in the context of a person speaking to another (regardless of whether it's understood), an utterance (or any sequence of symbols) is meaningful because of the intent behind it. Not the sounds themselves, but the very act of turning ideas into symbols - and back again.

...

I apologize if I'm repeating myself a bit - it's quite late and the question of "what does it mean for a utterance to have meaning" is actually a really interesting and complicated one, anon!

I'm admittedly being more flowery and less technical about it here because in the end my other main point is just "Isn't language really astoundingly neat?", but this is the stuff from which journal articles are written. (Usually involving a surprising amount of predicate logic.) It's an important line of inquiry because it can help explain a lot of where communication goes right and wrong, how misunderstandings happen, and how to effectively convey ideas to others.

That said, to be fair this isn't my specific area of expertise - I'm in the phon/phon corner where we ask people to make noises and stare at spectrograms all day, this is more the sem/prag corner where they put lambda calculus and philosophy in a blender.

@cryptotheism Ach, look what you made me do, I'm rambling about sounds.

[andhumanslovedstories]

A code status is what you want the hospital to do if your heart or breathing stops, and we've got two basic options: full code which means we do EVERYTHING and Do Not Resuscitate or DNR which means we do less than everything. There's like little add-ons like intubated or not intubated, or blood products or no blood products, but that's basic gist of it. Do you want us to try everything we can to save your life or if your heart stops, is that it? And then we take that information and put it in your chart and make it very prominent in case we need to find it quickly in an emergency. Jane Doe, 72 years old, DNR. John Whatsisname, 49 years old, full code. Like that.

Anyway I'd like to propose a third code status that we'll call "DNR!!!" This is when you not only don't want heroic measures to extend your life, you are so excited to die. I thought of this recently when getting report on a patient, and the day nurse talking to me was like, "Alice Smith, 80 years old, DNR and she will tell you that herself." And I was like, "I don't think code status is gonna come up organically," and the nurse was like, "It won't, but she'll tell you anyway." And then I introduced myself to the patient, and like three minutes in as we're talking about pain meds, she goes, "and by the way, when I'm dead, I'm DEAD. Don't be bringing me back! Every woman in my family has lived past 90, and I'm here to break that tradition! NO one needs to live that long, and I certainly don't, and frankly it's indecent for me to have made it this far. God willing the reaper will come for me any day now. I would never take actions to make him come sooner, but I'm not moving that fast and he is DAWDLING. Disgusting. No work ethic these days. And don't bother with a grave, just chuck me out the window and let the birds at me."

And I'm like "so is that a no to the tylenol"

And she was like "oh no, I'd love some tylenol and a warm blanket too. Now look at me. I've done everything I could possibly want to do in this world and quite a few things I didn't want to do, and personally I don't think I should have to keep doing things. I'd also love a cranberry juice."

Anyway. DNR!! I'm sorry to say she made it through the night completely unscathed.

[shencomix]

Recently I decided to go to my local fighting game tournament.

Here's how it went.

I had been getting pretty good at Guilty Gear over the past few weeks, to the point where I was getting the input correctly for the Potemkin Buster 1 out of every 4 or 5 times I tried it. So I thought "I might not be the best yet, but, surely good enough for my local" -- and I decided to go.

It took place at a the comic & games store in the town center. The venue was full of people 10-15 years younger than me and even more drastically cooler. They all turned to glare at me as I walked through the door, but as I stood completely motionless like a gazelle hoping to blend into the grassland, their gazes slowly returned to each other and they continued to banter friendlily.

I sat down next to me first opponent, and reached out to shake their hand. They looked down at my hand, and then up at my eyes slowly.

"You're supposed to do that at the end of the match."

"Oh, s-sorry"

I got perfected twice and lost the match. At the end, I reached out again to shake their hand, but they just stood up and walked away.

Because I lost, I got moved down to the loser's bracket, which was literally below the main tournament because it took place in the basement of the comic shop. I could hear footsteps, cheering, and happy conversation in the floor above. Here in the loser's bracket though, the mood was a lot more somber.

My next opponent reminded me a little bit of me. They were equally nervous and disheveled looking. They said "Um, h-hello" and reached out their hand for a handshake as they saw me approaching. I said "you're s-supposed to do that at the end of the match." But as a look of deep sadness came over their face and they slowly put down their hand, I pulled them in for a hug.

I'm not sure why I did that.

I think that some part of me knew that, in this dark, dank, alien place, illuminated only by a single failing ceiling light and the neon glow of a few arcade machines, I had at last found a friend -- someone I understood, and who might understand me too.

They hugged back.

I lost that match by a very narrow margin, and as they jumped up and began dancing around and cheering ecstatically, I began to hate them. This was no friend of mine. A friend would not do this to me. After they were done dancing, they reached out to shake my hand. After a few seconds of pause, I stuck out my hand too, but didn't look at them and refused to close it around theirs as they grasped it. They shook my karate chop.

I thought that at that point, since I had lost and then lost in loser's bracket, I was free to go home. But one of the tournament organizers approached me and informed me that I was going down to sub-loser's bracket in the sub-basement of the store, and pointed me towards a descending staircase.

The people there were fewer, and it was darker. I could faintly hear sobbing in one of the corners, but as I went to investigate, another participant put his hand on my shoulder. He furrowed his brow in a look of pain and shook his head slowly.

"You can't do anything for them."

In sub-loser's bracket I went up against a man in a suit whose face was cloaked in shadow. He spammed May's dolphin move. I lost.

As I went to go back upstairs, one of the tournament organizers held out her palm to stop me, and pointed towards a staircase leading further down instead.

Going down through the levels, I lost to many interesting participants. One player played exclusively by bashing the controller against his face. One player was a mushroom with a few circuit cables clipped onto it, that I later learned was able to play because its bioelectrical signals got sent to a machine that interpreted them as fighting game inputs. One player didn't touch their controller at all, but instead just told me their life story, which was so tragic that I picked up their controller and won for them.

Finally, at the very bottom floor, where construction standards were long abandoned and the stairs and walls were just messily carved out of the earth's stone, I faced my final player. It was a small bit of metal framework, with a controller nestled in it. On it was a tiny piston that just pressed the jab button exactly once every second. I lost.

I hung my head for a moment, then said "close game" and stuck my hand out for a handshake, before remembering that I had played against a metal framework cube with a piston in it and retracting my hand slowly. Then I heard a slow clapping from the darkness.

"No neutral. No footsies."

Out of the darkness slowly walked a woman about my age, clad in a decorative poofy dress that looked more expensive than my entire life savings. She smiled at me warmly, continuing to clap slowly, but there was a hint of mischief in her eyes.

"No meter management. No mixups. No spacing. No learning. No strategy…

…You're perfect."

"Wh-what?"

"You're perfect. I absolutely must have you."

"Have me for…um…for what…"

(Her eyes went wide as her smile grew more manic.)

"WHY, MY MORON FAILSON HAREM OF COURSE."

"Um, I-I"

"Tell me, what do you do for a living? Let me guess, you work at a fast food restaurant? Or, retail?"

"No, I'm a--I'm a comic artist."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Oh my god, you are PERFECT. What will it take to get you."

"To-to ge--"

"You would be well taken care of, of course. 3 Michelin star dining for every meal. Only the finest, softest sweatpants and sweatshirts, pre-stained with whatever flavor of Takis your little heart desires. You would have access to the entire mansion except for the main foyer when I'm in business calls, and you could make all the comics and play all the fighting games you want."

"I'm uh--"

I knew that I had to think fast here.

"I'm already i-in a moron failson harem."

"Oh, DARN IT!! TELL ME, WHO IS IT??? WHO GOT YOU??"

"I-I think I'm not allowed to s-sa--"

She stomped her foot petulantly, her shoe clacking against the stone floor.

"WAS IT SHUXUAN?? IT'S ALWAYS SHUXUAN HOGGING ALL OF THE GOOD ONES."

"I-I'm sorry," I blurted out, shuffling along the wall to make a wide radius around her and then running up the staircase.

As I got home and began making my standard dinner of Trader Joe's microwave falafel, I thought about her offer. Maybe I should have taken her up on it after all. A 3 Michelin star meal right now wouldn't be so bad.

Then I hopped on Guilty Gear and lost 22 matches in a row.

[thistlecrimes]

Things I've learned from getting covid for the first time in 2023

I wear an N95 in public spaces and I've managed to dodge it for a long time, but I finally got covid for the first time (to my knowledge) in mid-late November 2023. It was a weird experience especially because I feel like it used to be something everyone was talking about and sharing info on, so getting it for the first time now (when people generally seem averse to talking about covid) I found I needed to seek out a lot of info because I wasn't sure what to do. I put so much effort into prevention, I knew less about what to do when you have it. I'm experiencing a rebound right now so I'm currently isolating. So, I'm making a post in the hopes that if you get covid (it's pretty goddamn hard to avoid right now) this info will be helpful for you. It's a couple things I already knew and several things I learned. One part of it is based on my experience in Minnesota but some other states may have similar programs.

--------

The World Health Organization states you should isolate for 10 days from first having symptoms plus 3 days after the end of symptoms.

--------

At the time of my writing this post, in Minnesota, we have a test to treat program where you can call, report the result of your rapid test (no photo necessary) and be prescribed paxlovid over the phone to pick up from your pharmacy or have delivered to you. It is free and you do not need to have insurance. I found it by googling "Minnesota Test to Treat Covid"

--------

Paxlovid decreases the risk of hospitalization and death, but it's also been shown to decrease the risk of Long Covid. Long Covid can occur even from mild or asymptomatic infections.

--------

Covid rebound commonly occurs 2-8 days after apparent recovery. While many people associate Paxlovid with covid rebound, researchers say there is no strong evidence that Paxlovid causes covid rebound, and rebounds occur in infections that were not treated with Paxlovid as well. I knew rebounds could happen but did not know it could take 8 days. I had mine on day 7 and was completely surprised by it.

--------

If you start experiencing new symptoms or test positive again, the CDC states that you should start your isolation period again at day zero. Covid rebound is still contagious. Personally I'd suggest wearing a high quality respirator around folks for an additional 8-9 days after you start to test negative in case of a rebound.

--------

Positive results on a rapid test can be very faint, but even a very faint line is positive result. Make sure to look at your rapid test result under strong lighting. Also, false negatives are not uncommon. If you have symptoms but test negative taking multiple tests and trying different brands if you have them are not bad ideas. My ihealth tests picked up my covid, my binax now tests did not.

--------

EDIT: I'd highly suggest spending time with friends online if you can, I previously had a link to the NAMI warmline directory in this post but I've since been informed that NAMI is very much funded by pharmaceutical companies and lobbies for policies that take autonomy away from disabled folks, so I've taken that off of here! Sorry, I had no idea, the People's CDC listed them as a resource so I just assumed they were legit! Feel free to reply/reblog this with other warmlines/support resources if you know of them! And please reblog this version!

--------

I know that there is so much we can't control as individuals right now, and that's frightening. All we can do is try our best to reduce harm and to care for each other. I hope this info will be able to help folks.

[dcxdpdabbles]

DCxDP Fanfic idea: Love at first (club) Meeting.

Damian wants to make friends in school. He asked Colin what he should do to get this accomplishment after months of failure.

The friend recommended joining school clubs, affectionately telling him that he was in a sewing club at his own public school.

Damian didn't see how getting into an organization dedicated to some hobby was going to cause friendships, but Colin seemed to have a decent amount of friends when he wasn't running around as Abuse.

He went to check on the clubs available, but nothing really got his attention. There was the art club but only one meeting told him that it wasn't for him. The club was more for his classmates to stand around and chit chat.

None of them actually did any art, seeing as the ussually club advisor was away on maternity leave. The substitute is the baseball couch on off-season, and although he encouraged everyone to draw, it wasn't the same amount of fun as normal activities.

The other kids assured him that they would be painting and sculpting once Mrs. Flor came back, but Damian didn't want to wait.

So he leaves and tries to find a new one. The world history club bored him with useless trivia, and the chess club had no worthy challengers.

Damian decides to try one last time before giving up, when he encounters Daniel Fenton trying to get a second signature for his Ghost Hunting Club.

Fenton is from outside of Gotham. He moved here with his family after Father bought out his family business, having turned their research into defenses against aliens. Damian had seen him around school, but other than the occasional bully, no one paid too much attention to him.

Gotham Academy had four requirements for a student run club. There had to be two members to be officially started. They needed to keep a clear recap of their club minutes, a teacher had to sign as their advisor and, for the first two years, had to be without a bank account.

Fenton held up his pathetic sign-up sheet in front of passing students. He stammers, "Would like to join the Ghost hunter-um if I could bother you for a moment - are you interested in-excuse me"

Damian watches Fenton try over and over to ask for a second club memeber, but no one bothers to even hear his full question. They walk right by him as if though they could see through Fenton. He can't say why but that upsets him.

Before Damian knows what he's doing he finds his feet marching towards Fenton. The boy is staring down at his clipboard with a disheartened expression before he spots Damian.

Fenton's jaw drops, and his eyes grow impossiblely wide as Damian gets closer. He draws his clip board up to his chest, staring at the Wayne as if he was the most fascinating thing he's ever seen.

Surely Damian is not that different looking than any other human. Why is he acting like that?

"Good morning," He says when he finally stands in front of Fenton. The boy's face turns s red "I am Damian Wayne."

"Hi, I'm Danny, um Fenton, I'm Danny Fenton," the other rambles while nervously tapping his fingers on the back of the clipboard.

"Well, met Fenton. I overheard you are requesting signatures for a club?"

"Oh!" Fenton turns the clipboard but in his haste it slips from his hold, landing on the ground with loud thump. Damian raises a brow while Fenton breaks out into a sweat.

Damian leans down to grab the board at the same time, Fenton throws himself forward, and he sees the collusion before it happens, but Damian knows that a regular child wouldn't be able to dodge it without raising questions. He allows Fenton's forhead to slam against his with a hiss.

"I'm sorry!" Fenton gasps out, but Damian heeds him no mind, as he signs the form with a flourish. The harsh strokes of his pen echo in the hallway, informing Damian that he needs to head to class before the second bell.

"I shall see you after school. We can see the famous haunted bathroom in the gym. " He tells the fool, slapping the clipboard into the boy's hand. Damian twists on his heel, strutting away. He throws a hand over his shoulder, calling back. "Ta"

He misses the look of utter awe adoration aimed at his back or the rapid growing infatuation in his clubmates' eyes.

It's the start of Damian's very odd club because he finds he actually enjoys walking around the school trying to find readings for ghosts. He even enjoys following Fenton to abandon buildings, dark sewers and sitting around with childish recordings asking for any signs of the afterlife.

That's mostly due to how nervous Fenton was when wandering into haunted places. He finds great joy in watching Fenton try to put a brave face on despite shaking in his boots when a ghost might be around.

It may be cruel of Damian, but it's highly entertaining.

Danny is not scared of ghosts - that would be a bit counterproductive given his Halfa status. He is crushing hard on Damian Wayne, and when he has a crush, he gets ridiculous nervous around them that it's easier to blame the shaking, the sweating and shuttering on phasmophobia.

But could anyone blame him? Damian Wayne is a walking work of art, so much that when Danny first saw him in the hallway, he was half sure, the surroundings had dimmed.

He wasn't exaggerating when Danny thought Damian had stardust and white doves floating around his head at all times. He was that stunning.

And he had walked up to Danny to join his club, the one he had been trying for almost a week to get started because he was tired of being a friendless loser and took up Sam's advice in a desperate last ditch effort. He is so glad he had that video call with her because without it, he would never have gotten to speak to Damian.

They were in different classes, had different lunch periods, and frankly, Damian was the son of the richest man in the country. Danny was the random kid on scholarship with creepy ghost powers hunting other ghosts.

He wrote poems about Damian's eyes when flying over Gotham, sighing like a pathetic school boy. He also dodges a kuni shoot at him by Robin.

Ugh, he hates that guy. He's so rude and has been trying to hunt Danny down ever sense they arrived in Gotham. He was scary good at what he did, and the only reason Danny stayed free was Robin not understanding that he was after a ghost.

Robin thought he was a meta and had attack because of that. Which, racist much? Danny openly mocked him just to get on Robin's nerves.

Batman let Robin cause after the meta because he could tell from that little smile as he raced after the glowing figure that Damian found the other attractive. It reminds him of his early years chasing Catwoman across the rooftops.

Maybe Gotham wasn't so bad a move after all.

[etherealyoungk]

love between the lines | chwe vernon

SUMMARY: despite the initial nerves of your new gig as an english literature TA, you’re ready to tackle the new job. that’s where you meet vernon, the computer science TA, and he’s interesting to say the least. he’s all about coding and numbers while you live and breathe poetry and novels. it’s clear that you both have contrasting interests and personalities - but they say opposites attract, right?

PAIRING: TA!vernon x TA!reader

THEMES: opposites attract, strangers to lovers, chaotic x calm dynamic

WARNINGS: fluff, kissing, silly antics

WORDCOUNT: 12k

A/N: this is part of the SVT TA collab hosted by @camandemstudios. and thank you to @gyuswhore and @highvern for hosting this collab and inviting me to join! i've been so excited about this, i hope you all enjoy reading! and do check out everyone else's work on this collab as well!

it’s been a week since you got the gig as an english literature TA at the university and you were thrilled despite the nervousness. you adjust the stack of poetry books and textbooks under your arm as you walk, feeling both excitement and nerves as you head to your fourth class of the week. thankfully it seemed like the students really liked you and your teaching methods, which you were utterly grateful for, otherwise you might have just quit then and there.

you’re so lost in your thoughts, that you collide with someone coming from around the corner. papers fly and scatter in all directions, and you look up to see the stranger in front of you, wide-eyed. “woah”, is all he says as he looks at you, rather calm despite the chaos that you seem to have caused around him.

“oh god, i'm so sorry!" you exclaim, bending down to help gather the papers, his papers, which were now scattered all over the floor.

the stranger doesn’t say much as he kneels beside you and reaches out to collect the sheets of papers. "no worries, it's not like these papers were organized to begin with”, he says, which somehow seems to ease your nerves. 

you let out a small nervous chuckle as you collect the stray papers, your hands brushing accidentally. you glance down nervously, picking up your scattered books. 

“are you new around here?”, he asks, recalling that he’s not seen you around before.

“yeah, i just joined the english literature department as a TA”, you tell, but he had sort of already deciphered that information with the stack of books you were carrying. he’d heard that someone had filled in that position last week, but never got around to being introduced to the person, until now.

“i’m vernon, the computer science TA”, he says and you smile softly at that piece of information. “nice to meet you”, you reply and you hand him the papers you had gathered. you tell him something about how you were running late for a lecture and part ways as he nods and goes back to his way. 

it’s another work day and you’re in your office, typing away on your laptop as you plan some material for the next lecture. but your laptop seems to be glitching and working slower than usual. you furrow your brows in confusion as the file seems to be taking a little too long to download. you sigh and stare at your laptop screen, watching the download bar stay stuck at the same percentage for ten minutes now. you click your tongue in frustration and lean back in your chair. that’s when your mind wanders to vernon - he’d probably know what was going on. sure, you barely knew the guy, never spoke to him after you had bumped into him that day, but hey, was asking for help a crime? besides, maybe you could use this opportunity to get to know him better, plus he seemed like a decent guy. so you carry your laptop and head to vernon’s space, knocking on the slightly open door. 

“come in”, he says, without looking up, his brows furrowed in concentration as he stares at his laptop screen.

“if this is about an extension on the deadline then oh-”, vernon starts but stops when he looks up and sees you. 

“hi, sorry i hope i’m not interrupting anything?”, you ask as you stand in front of vernon with your laptop open in your hands.

“oh, no-no, what’s up?”, he asks, as he leans back in his chair a little.

“my laptop is acting kinda weird, it’s become really slow and stuff is taking ages to download. i thought you might know what’s the issue”, you tell, setting your laptop down on the table next to him.

he moves his laptop aside and brings yours in front of him as he tries to figure out the issue. your eyes wander to his laptop adorned with stickers and you read one of them.

why do programmers prefer dark mode? because light attracts bugs, you read in your mind and furrow your brows as it takes a few seconds for the joke to make sense before you smile softly at the joke.

you read another programming joke sticker that was slapped on his laptop and you laugh to yourself. “i think i’ve found the problem”, vernon says, snapping you back to reality and your eyes find him as you walk over to see what he was talking about. 

“your storage is almost critically full, that’s why your laptop has slowed down. you should probably transfer some files to a hard drive and clear up some space on your laptop”, he explains and you nod at the new information vernon provides you with. see, it was a good idea you asked vernon for help or god knows what you might have done otherwise, thinking it might have been some other issue.

“oh, okay, i’m glad it’s not a major issue”, you add, relieved because you did not need your laptop dying out on you right now.

“no worries”, he says as he hands you back your laptop. you would have very much liked to stay back and talk to him more, but he looked so busy with whatever he was doing. you didn’t want to be a bother, so you leave, telling him thank you as you leave. 

after that, you seem to see vernon and bump into him more, whether it be at the hallways or between classes. the one thing you couldn't help but notice was how vernon's constant companion was his laptop. he carried that thing everywhere like his life depended on it. and the condition of his laptop? that thing was covered in stickers, some with obscure programming jokes and others, which were a random mix of stickers that you were convinced he just slapped on there because he had nowhere else to put them. the other thing that was always a constant with him was the pair of headphones that adorned his neck. you swear you had never really seen him without those two things.

in your first two weeks as a TA, you discovered a new talent: bumping into people. apparently, your talent for bumping into people was unparalleled. why? because reading a book and walking down the hallways was definitely not advised. you might as well have been walking blindfolded with the number of students and faculty you accidently bumped into your first two weeks. that’s one way to make a first impression. 

you were glad it wasn’t anything worse, but you needed to get your act together and you were hoping that things would ease up and smooth out soon. but if only you knew how wrong you were. it was like the universe was purposely conspiring against you to not have your TA gig go smoothly. you’re packing up to leave when you realize you can’t find your novel anywhere. you swear you had bought it along with you today to read on the bus, but now it was nowhere to be seen. you try to think of where you could have misplaced it and decide to check the lecture room since you might have left it there. you had rushed out of the room after the lecture so maybe you had forgotten it over there. 

you walk to the lecture hall (without bumping into anyone thankfully) and enter, spotting vernon there. you walk in quietly, not wanting to disturb him since he looked really focused on whatever he was doing. the door closes behind you and your eyes scan the room for your book and voila, you spot it on the edge of the table where vernon was sitting. you quietly go up to him and grab your book when vernon looks up.

“i just forgot my book here”, you say immediately, like you were caught doing something you shouldn’t be before you turn around. you mentally slap yourself because why were you so nervous? you walk towards the door and your hand reaches out, grabbing onto the handle. but when you push the handle down, it doesn’t budge. you try again but it still doesn’t seem to move. you try to pull the door open but still no luck. what the hell?

you take a deep breath and try to open the door again, but find it stubbornly jammed. you wiggled the handle, pulled, and pushed it, but it remained immovably shut. vernon finally looks up with all the commotion you seem to be causing and he looks at you with a puzzled expression.

“is everything okay over there?” he asks as he looks at you. 

“yeah totally, just on my way out”, you lie as you try the door handle again but it refuses to budge and you sigh. 

“um, i think the door’s stuck,” you finally admit, your voice tinged with frustration as you turn to look back at vernon.

“oh”, is all he says before he closes his laptop shut with a soft thud and stands up. you watch as he walks over in your direction and tries the door handle, only to find it jammed like you said.

“i told them this door handle needed to be changed, it was bound to get jammed one day or the other,” he says.

“so we’re locked in,” you declare dramatically, eyes wide as you look at vernon.

“yeah, i guess,” vernon responds with a nonchalant shrug, as if being trapped in a room is just another regular tuesday evening for him. 

“but how do we get out?” you ask, your voice rising in pitch as you look at vernon.

“i guess i could try to pick the lock, but since it’s jammed i don’t think that would work”, he says.

“pick the lock?”, you ask, almost horrified at his suggestion. “are you serious? we should call security or something”, you say instead. 

vernon leans against the wall, clearly unfazed. “yeah, sure, but calling security sounds so... formal. plus there’s no guarantee they’ll actually come on time, so i guess we’re stuck here for a while”, he says with a light shrug of his shoulders.

you didn’t like the way vernon was so calm about this entire situation right now. you look at him, your frustration bubbling to the surface. “are you seriously this relaxed about being trapped in here?”

vernon tilts his head, as he looks at you. “yeah, why not? it’’s not like we’re in a life-or-death situation, it’s just a door, we’ll get out eventually.”

“eventually?” you repeat, your agitation growing. “what if ‘eventually’ turns into hours? what if we’re stuck here until everyone goes home for the day? do you really think that’s okay?”

“someone is bound to find us in the morning”, he says like he’s had experience being locked in a room before and is totally okay with spending the night trapped in here. 

“i’m calling security”, you declare, as you dig your phone out of your jeans pocket, unable to comprehend vernon’s suggestion. as you explain the situation to the security, you can’t help but glance over at vernon, who’s back by the desk, perfectly calm and composed unlike you. 

“alright, so security’s on their way,” you announce after a few minutes once you get off the phone. “they should be here in about... well, soon i hope”

“cool”, is all vernon says before silence envelops you both again. you walk up and take a seat in one of the lecture hall chairs up front. 

“what are you working on?”, you ask vernon, in an attempt to make conversation because the awkward atmosphere in the air right now is killing you.

“just the assignment for the students”, he replies and you nod. “right”, you reply, fidgeting with your hands and fingers, trying to find some sort of distraction or thing to ground yourself back to reality. 

you both stay quiet and time drags on. you’re praying for security or someone to come and save you because you couldn't do this any longer. 

you’re sitting in silence, staring at the ground, lost in your thoughts when suddenly a loud sound erupts, jolting and scaring you and you end up knocking your ankle on the table leg and you yelp in pain. 

you hear some voices outside the door and realize it must be security as they tried to forcefully open the door. vernon glances over at you.

“are you okay?”, he asks, standing up, looking a little concerned.

“y-yeah i’m fine”, you tell, waving your hand so he wouldn’t come closer, mostly embarrassed and desperately trying to convince him you weren’t a klutz.

once the door is successfully open, you almost make a run for it and make it back to your office, out of breath, suddenly rethinking your life choices and cursing. once safely inside, you collapse into your chair, mentally cursing for once again making a complete fool of yourself in front of vernon. it’s only after another minute you realize you had left your novel behind - again.

once your ankle feels a bit better and isn’t throbbing in pain anymore, you decide to go back to fetch your book. you’re in half a mind to just leave it there and go home because you did not want to see vernon again, not after what happened. but of course, the universe hates you and as fate would have it, you see vernon by the door of your office, holding your novel.

“hi, um you left your book back there”, he says as he takes a step inside.

you blink at him, then at the book, and finally manage a weak smile. “oh, silly me. thanks,” you say, taking the book, hoping your face wasn’t as red as it felt.

a few days later when you’re walking through the hallways, there seems to be a buzz in the air. you spot vernon walking in the hallways, headphones in as he seems to bob his head along to whatever music was playing. you watch as a few students approach him in excitement and speak to him. he keenly takes off his headphones and listens, smiling a little and you can hear him say “thank you” before walking off. this seems to happen a few times and you’re really starting to wonder why. you turn around as you ask your friend and fellow TA.

“why is everyone going up to vernon? did something happen?”, you ask, curiosity getting the better of you.

“you didn’t hear? he got first place in the hackathon competition. it’s a pretty big competition, so it’s a pretty big deal”, they fill in. 

“oh”, you reply. after your friend tells you. you later look up the competition and find out that it was indeed a really big deal. you’re walking to the cafe to get your daily caffeine fix when you spot a florist shop opposite the road. why not give vernon a bouquet to congratulate him? but then the second thoughts come; he wouldn’t think you were weird if you gave him flowers right? but then again, you saw the other faculty gave him a plant too, so you guessed there was no harm done if you gave him some flowers. so that’s how you’re walking back to your office with a small bouquet of flowers in your hand. 

(expect no one told you that that he was allergic to flowers and you were blissfully unaware of what chaos you were about to cause)

just as you were about to enter the lobby, you notice vernon walking towards the building from the opposite direction and for some reason, your heart skips a beat. his hair is a little messy today, but falls cutely over his forehead.

“vernon!”, you call out and he looks up, surprised to see you as he eyes the flowers in your hands.

“hey”, he asks and you smile before you notice the way he was keeping a small distance between you both. 

“congratulations on winning the hackathon! i thought you might like these, something for your win”, you say as you extend your hand out, holding out a small bouquet of flowers to him.

vernon eyes the bouquet, his expression shifting from surprised to slightly worried as he tries to maintain his composure as he reaches out to take the bouquet from you.

“oh, um, thanks. they’re really... nice”, he says to you and you beam, happy that he likes them.

but before vernon could say anything further, a sneeze erupts from him—loud and dramatic. he quickly tries to stifle it, but he sneezes again, and again and again.

“oh my gosh, are you okay?”, you ask, worried about the way he was sneezing all of a sudden.

vernon tries to wave off your concern, but the flowers were making it worse. his attempts to hide his discomfort were futile as he let out another series of sneezes.

“i-i’m fine! just a bit of… pollen...” he says before he sneezes again and your eyes widen in realization.

“oh my god, you’re allergic to flowers??’, you ask, reaching for the bouquet and nearly plucking it out of his hand, placing it on the bench that was nearby, hoping that the distance would make him feel better before you turn to face him again.

“i’m so sorry, i didn’t know you were allergic to flowers”, you say, mortified, your cheeks flushing with embarrassment.  

vernon manages to find some tissues in his pocket and dabs his nose, managing to give you a weak smile.

“it’s alright”, he says, waving his hand in the air. 

“what do you mean it’s alright?” you repeat, your voice rising in panic. “no, i almost killed you! oh my god, i’m so sorry!” you tell, horrified. 

“it’s the thought that counts really. just maybe... no more flowers?”, he says through sniffles and you nod your head vigorously. 

“of course, i’ll get you something else”, you add in a rush and vernon sneezes once more. you offer to grab him a coffee or something to help him recover from the unexpected pollen assault.

“how about i get you some coffee? i feel terrible about this”, you ask, biting the bottom of your lip in nervousness as you look at vernon with a hopeful look in your eyes. vernon, now recovering, manages to chuckle between sneezes. 

“coffee sounds good”, he says, sniffling, his sneezes seeming to have gotten under control. 

“again, i’m so sorry”, you tell, feeling bad about the incident earlier. it felt like the universe had a personal vendetta against you whenever you interacted with vernon.

“no worries, i’m all good now”, he says, giving you a small reassuring smile that seems to ease your heart. you get vernon his coffee and walk back to the university, both of you walking in silence now. 

“again i’m so so sorry”, you repeat, still feeling bad about earlier, your voice filled with genuine regret.  

“it’s really not a big deal,” he reassures you again. “i’m just glad it wasn’t worse. some people are really sensitive to that stuff”, he says. the silence between you now feels more comfortable, a mutual understanding hanging in the air. you appreciate his easy going nature and feel a bit of the tension melting away.

unbeknownst to you, vernon had taken the bouquet of flowers back to his office, carefully placing it in the corner of his room. even though he was still sneezing occasionally, he couldn’t bring himself to toss the flowers away. each time vernon glanced at the bouquet, a smile tugged at the corners of his lips, being reminded of you. 

a week later, as you’re wrapping up your day and heading out of the university. through the glass window of his door, you catch a glimpse of him sitting at his desk, rubbing his temple with a look of evident stress. concern nudges at you, and you decide to stop and check in on him.

you peek your head into the room. “hey, not heading out yet?” you ask, your voice gentle but curious. vernon looks up from his laptop, his eyes finding yours as he lets out a small sigh.

“no, i’m still here,” he replies, frustration evident in his tone. “i’m trying to figure out why this website keeps crashing.”

you step inside, curiosity piqued. “website?” you prompt, your mind quickly connecting the dots. you remembered that vernon does freelance work on the side, a detail you found impressive and one that explained why he carried his laptop practically everywhere. 

“yeah,” he continued, frustration clear in his voice. “it’s this website that crashes whenever too many users try to access it at once.”

you nod thoughtfully, drawing on your own experience. “you know, maybe you should take a break. sometimes when i get stuck on a piece of writing, stepping away and coming back to it later helps me see things more clearly”, you say.

you watch as vernon nods slowly, as he considers your suggestion, a small smile of appreciation flickering across his face. “yeah, i guess you’re right.”, he replies as he closes his laptop with a resigned click, and begins to pack up his bag. you both walk out of the office together, the weight of the day lifting slightly with each step. 

you could sense that vernon was a bit tense, perhaps still unwinding from a long day or just not fully at ease because of the problem he couldn't solve earlier. the silence between you was starting to feel a bit heavy, and you wanted to lighten the mood. you racked your brain for something to break the ice. but you didn’t know what to say, not wanting to say anything silly again so you kept quiet.

“well, i hope you can solve that issue soon!”, you tell after a few seconds of silence and he nods. “me too”.

the next day, you decide to take a little break before your office hours and head out, deciding to grab a coffee. you’re armed with the copy of two books, one that you were reading for class and another that you were reading on your own. you’re about to turn the corner when you bump into vernon - again.

“woah”, he says, just like the first time, still cool as a cucumber.

“shit, i’m sorry”, you tell, laughing softly. “no worries”, he says, his eyes falling on the two books in your hands. 

“you seem to always be in a rush”, he tells, adjusting his cap on his head. “i guess my mind is always racing and my feet somehow follow that”, you tell, joking and he nods again. it was like that was his default reaction.

“oh, by the way, i managed to fix that issue”, he tells, his face seeming to light up when he spoke to you this time.

“the one where the website kept crashing?”, you prompt and he nods. you start walking in the direction of the cafe and he follows beside you.

“that’s great, what was the issue?”, you ask, completely oblivious of all the technical terms that vernon was about to use.

“it turns out that the issue was with how i was managing the server resources. i had to optimize the code that handles incoming requests and i found this bottleneck where the server was getting overloaded, so i streamlined the process”, he explains and you furrow your brows as you try to make sense of what he was saying but who were you kidding, you had no idea what he was talking about.

“oh, that sounds…challenging”, you tell, hoping it didn’t sound like you were an idiot somehow.

“kind of, but i monitored the server's performance metrics and analyzed the logs and i was able to figure out where the issue was. once i made those tweaks, the website started handling traffic like a pro and didn’t crash anymore”, he tells proudly and you nod along.

“woah, that’s impressive”, you add, giving him a thumbs up as you walk, hoping it didn’t seem obvious that you didn’t really understand what he just told you and the only thing you actually managed to understand was that he solved the issue.

he turns to glance at you and the confusion is clear on your face as you nod along and praise him. he looks down and smiles to himself before looking back up at you, finding this whole situation funny and maybe a little cute because of you.

“you didn’t understand a word i said did you?”, he prompts and you feel the tips of your ears getting red out of embarrassment. “i did..i-i understood that you solved it”, you tell quickly. but you give in after a few seconds. “okay fine, i have no idea what you said but whatever it was, it sounds impressive”, you confess.

“it’s basically like having a rush hour at a store and there’s not enough staff to help around”, he starts off, explaining it to you in more simple terms. “so i had to make a code that handles requests run smoother. i also found a spot where everything was getting stuck, like a traffic jam. once i fixed it, it was like organizing a line so everyone gets their food faster without bumping into each other”, he tells and you nod in understanding this time.

“oh wow, that’s cool, that makes so much sense”, you repeat, impressed.

you reach the cafe and step inside, vernon beside you. you order a latte and ask vernon if he wants anything but he denies. so you just wait for your drink and he waits with you.

“how are you liking being a TA so far?”, he asks as he meets your gaze, adjusting the usual blue cap on his head.

“i think it’s going well, i have a knack for teaching you know”, you say with a small smile, happy. “i’m enjoying it, though sometimes it does test my patience a little”, you add and he chuckles as he nods along in understanding.

you grab your coffee when it’s ready and you both walk back to class, parting ways in the hallway as you head to your lecture and vernon to his.

it’s after office hours and the hallways were quieter. you’re making your way towards the library, the weight of your laptop bag and a stack of books pulling on your shoulders as you walk. your notebook and pens were carefully balanced in one hand. you spot vernon walking down and you give him a small wave when you reach closer. he stops, giving you a small nod of acknowledgement as he takes in the books and laptop you’re carrying, or lugging around again. 

“going somewhere?” he asks, his tone casual but with an underlying hint of curiosity.

“yeah,” you reply, adjusting the stack of books so they don't topple over. “i’m heading to the library to finish up some work.” vernon’s eyes follow you as you speak. “cool,” is all he says, his usual nonchalant reply that seemed to be his standard for everything.

you continue on your way to the familiar space of the library, navigating through the shelves and pathways to find your favorite spot - it was hidden in the back, right next to the window and was the perfect cozy spot to study, read or just hide in fact. you set down your laptop and open up your notebook to plan your next lecture and assignment. you open your laptop and are ten minutes into your work session when you hear the soft patter of footsteps approaching. you glance behind, eyes widening when you see who was stepping into your little hideaway.

you don’t expect to see vernon there. it was a rare and almost jarring sight; vernon and the library didn’t seem to mix well. his usual hangout was more likely the the local coffee shop or staying holed up in his own office, definitely not the library. you hesitate, caught off guard by this unexpected encounter. vernon looks at you and there’s a hint of something in his eyes.

“hey”, you say softly, trying to keep your tone casual despite the curiosity lingering inside you. “didn’t expect to see you here”. 

vernon shrugs, his relaxed demeanor unshaken. “yeah, i guess i needed a change of scenery.” he shifts on his feet, his eyes glancing over the empty space next to you. you reach out and bring your books to your side of the table.

“you can join me if you want”, you add and vernon nods, taking a seat next to you. “thanks”, he says, placing his laptop down before opening it and getting to work. it was strange, trying to focus on your work while sharing the space with someone who seemed so out of place here. the silence between you both was punctuated only by the rustling of pages by you and the soft but steady clacking of vernon typing away on his laptop.

you lift your head up and peek into what he was doing too curious for your own good,  only to see him effortlessly writing some code. in your eyes, it was like he was almost writing gibberish, making no sense to you whatsoever. to you, it looked like a jumble of incomprehensible characters, a stark contrast to the structured organization of your notes. but there was something so fascinating about the way he worked, and you find yourself staring into his screen for a little longer than you’d have liked before you realize, averting your eyes back to your own laptop.

after a while, you start to get sleepy. all the late night you pulled were starting to catch up to you and you felt your eyes drooping slowly, unable to concentrate or write anymore. you rest your chin on your hand as you slowly start to doze off. 

vernon, who was engrossed in his coding, notices your struggle to stay awake when. he tries to stay focused on his work, but every so often, his eyes dart back over to you, noting how you seemed to be fighting a losing battle against sleep. he wasn’t quite sure what to do so he just lets you be. in the end you seem to lose and you end up dozing off. your pen falls out of your hand, rolling onto the floor. 

quietly, he slips out of his chair and retrieves his jacket, picking up your pen too, placing it on the table. he gently drapes his jacket over your shoulders as you sleep, hoping it would make you more comfortable. the jacket was a bit oversized, but he hoped it would do the trick. however, in his attempt to make you more comfortable, vernon found himself in a tough spot. you shift and find a new resting place - right on vernon’s shoulder. he’s caught off guard, his eyes widening in surprise as you snuggle right into his shoulder and he freezes, unsure how to react. he tries to remain still, not wanting to wake you or disrupt the surprisingly cozy situation. he makes the quiet decision to wait it out, not sure whether he should wake you up or not. he focuses back on his laptop screen, though his attention keeps drifting back to you. with the weight of your head resting on his shoulder, vernon couldn't seem to focus at all. 

finally, after what felt like an eternity of indecision and awkwardness, you stir awake. your eyes flutter open, initially disoriented by the dim light and the unfamiliar feeling of having drifted off to sleep in the middle of your work. lifting your head from vernon’s shoulder, you blinked in surprise at the sight of him. 

“oh, i didn’t mean to fall asleep”, you mumble as you come back to your senses. it’s only after a few seconds later that you put two and two together.

“oh…OH…i’m so sorry”, ” you exclaim, rubbing your eyes and trying to shake off the remnants of sleep. “i didn’t mean to—” 

vernon doesn’t say anything, though his face is still a bit flushed. “it’s alright. you looked like you needed sleep. i just wasn’t expecting you to use me as a pillow.”, he says matter of factly. 

you try to laugh it off, but your face is burning with embarrassment. “i hope i didn’t sleep for long”, you ask, unaware of how much time had passed. 15 minutes? 20 minutes?

“you slept for almost two hours”, vernon fills in and your hand flies up to cover you mouth in shock. no way. you had not just slept on vernon’s shoulder for almost two hours? what was wrong with you?

“yeah, i wasn’t sure if i should wake you or let you sleep. it seemed like you really needed it.”, he says like it was no big deal and you feel a wave of mortification wash over you.

“i’m so sorry for making you sit here like that. i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”  you tell, and that’s when you notice vernon’s jacket draped around you. you slide it off your shoulders and hand it back to vernon, but there’s still the lingering warmth it’s left behind on your shoulders. the fabric still holds the faint scent of him, a mix of cedar and something faintly sweet. 

you shift uncomfortably in your seat, the blush from earlier now a persistent warmth in your cheeks. “i didn’t mean to make you wait so long,” you stammer, trying to regain some composure. “i must have really zonked out”, you tell, feeling bad about having our vernon in an awkward position. “it’s alright,” he says. “sometimes you just need a good nap”. 

the next morning is bright and clear, but you can’t shake the feeling of awkwardness from the previous day. the campus buzzes with its usual mix of students rushing between classes and professors hurrying to meetings. you on the other hand are  mentally preparing for a day full of avoiding vernon—mostly because you’re still embarrassed about falling asleep on him. 

but your plan goes down the drain the moment you see vernon. you’re about to turn around but his gaze finds you before you can, and turning around now would make it seem like you were actually running away. instead, you slow down and he makes his way towards you. he’s dressed in his usual laid-back attire—jeans and a university hoodie. 

“morning”, he says once he’s close enough and you give him a friendly smile. “morning,” you mumble, avoiding eye contact. vernon, unfazed by your clear attempt to escape a conversation, continues talking.

“did you sleep well?”, he asks and you swear there was almost a hint of humor in the way he asked it. 

“oh, uh, yeah, great,” you stammer, trying to sound calm and collected. “i slept really well”, you say, giving him a thumbs up before mentally cringing, forcing your hands down. vernon chuckles, the sweet sound of his laughter filling the air between you both. he smiles at you and you swear your heart almost skips a beat, two maybe, before he speaks again.

“i’m just teasing you”, he adds, the corners of his mouth still lifted up into a smile and you feel your cheeks heat up as you blink at him. “see you around”, he adds, before walking ahead, leaving you behind, your heart a fluttering mess.

the next week you, when you’re walking down the hallway, you spot vernon. but you didn’t expect him to look so good. he was wearing a light baby blue hoodie, his dark hair was tousled in that effortlessly cute way. but the thing that made you do a double take was the pair of glasses he was wearing. they sat perched on his nose, framing his eyes in a way that was somehow both endearing and charming, making him look adorable. for a moment, you can’t tear your gaze away. your heart skips a beat and it’s like your brain short circuited and stopped working for a second because the next thing you know, you’re walking right into the wall instead of turning the corridor. the sudden impact jolts you back to reality, and you blink, staring at the blank wall in surprise. 

you turn around to see vernon’s amused, but also concerned, his glasses perched at just the right angle to make his eyes twinkle. he waves at you, closing the gap between you both. shit, vernon didn’t see you walk into the wall right? he totally did.

“are you okay?” he asked, clearly trying to stifle a laugh.

you could feel your cheeks flush as you rub the spot where you’d collided with the wall. “yeah, i’m fine,” you manage to reply, trying to regain some semblance of composure. 

“just a little distracted, no big deal.”, you tell, trying to play it off. a smile still tugs at the corners of vernon’s lips. “i-i should go”, you tell, turning around and walking away, mentally preparing to dig your own grave and bury yourself because why did you have to be such an idiot in front of vernon.

“well, watch where you’re going”, he calls out as he watches you walk away. 

after office hours you decide to retreat to the familiar space of the library again. somehow being surrounded by books always seemed to ease your mind. on your way to library, you bump into vernon, his laptop tucked under his arm like always. he, in fact, had been looking for you. he’d dropped by your office but when he didn’t find you there, he thought you had gone home. but he decided to scan the library once since knew you spent a lot of time here as well. his eyes light up when he spots you here in your usual spot.

“hi”, vernon’s voice floats in, making you look up to see him. “h-hey”, you say, caught off guard by his presence again, the events of last evening flashing through your mind. “mind if i join you again?”, he asks and you shake your head, indicating he could sit. you both settle down at the back corner of the library, occupying a small table. you open up the book, the one you were re-reading for the nth time. you bring out your sticky notes and pens, ready to make notes and mark important points or quotes from the book since this was a book that was assigned for class reading. 

vernon opens up his laptop and starts working on trying to debug the code for a program he was building. you both work in silence, vernon typing away on his laptop while you read the book, making notes. after almost 30 minutes, vernon stretches and looks over at you, admiring the way you were engrossed in the book you were reading. he could see the expressions you made as you read - a soft smile when something funny was happening or the way your brows furrowed when something intense was happening. he thought it was cute. 

you seem to notice his gaze on you and look up. you glance at the time and decide to take a break too, closing your book. 

“what are you up to?”, you ask, recalling what you saw on his screen yesterday. “you were like writing a million lines of code the other day”, you tell and he nods. “yeah, i’m debugging this program”, he explains.

“how’s it going?”, you ask, leaning forward. “i think i’ve almost solved it”, he says, satisfied.

"don't you ever get tired of reading the same book over and over?" he asks after a few seconds of silence, genuine curiosity lighting up his face. you pause for a moment, considering his question. it wasn't the first time someone had asked you this.

"never" you say, a smile spreading across your face. "in fact, it's quite the opposite.whenever i re-read a book, it's like going on a treasure hunt and every time i re-read the pages, i uncover something new, stumble upon details i missed before, and uncover deeper meanings.", you start to explain.

vernon leaned back in his chair, his curiosity piqued, and you continued to speak.

you grab the well worn copy of the book you were reading and hold it out to show vernon. "take this book for example. each time i read it, i connect with the characters in a different way”, you add on.

he nods, his eyes reflecting understanding. "so, it's like the book grows with you," he says, intrigued by your perspective.

"exactly!" you reply, nodding eagerly.

“and i’ve been thinking about how programming and literature seem like polar opposites  at first glance, but actually have some similarities”, you tell, suddenly overcome with passion and vernon watches the way your eyes light up as you explain your theory to him. 

“you just think about it—both fields involve decoding and interpreting systems, just in different forms. for you,it’s deciphering algorithms and building code and for me it's analyzing and breaking down a characters' motivations and feelings”, you tell.

vernon nods as you talk, taking it all in. “that's an interesting way to put it, i never thought of it that way”, vernon says as your words sink in. “and the best part? there’s creativity in both”, you add like the cherry on top. as you continue, the flow of conversation feels so natural that you don’t immediately realize you’re starting to ramble. 

“it's fascinating how different disciplines can share common ground. we may approach problems from opposite ends of the spectrum, but our goals are surprisingly similar”, he says and you smile with the way he gets you. 

“exactly! so maybe we both aren’t so different after all”, you add, laughing softly. the enthusiasm in your voice only grows, until suddenly, you catch yourself in mid-sentence, your words faltering and growing softer until you stop speaking and you feel a flush creeping up your cheeks. “sorry, i didn’t mean to bore you with all this”.

vernon’s expression shifts from one of engaged interest to gentle reassurance, shaking his head. “bore me? not at all. i actually find it really interesting.”

you let out a relieved sigh, feeling a bit more at ease. “really? i just felt like i was going on and on. sometimes i get a bit—well, you know, enthusiastic about these things.” 

you glance at the time on your phone before looking back up at vernon. “wanna take a break and grab some coffee?”, you ask and he nods. “sure”

there was just something about vernon that made you look around for him in the hallways as you stole glances at him. maybe it was the way he was so cool, calm and collected unlike you - a mess.

 

a few months pass and you and vernon slowly get closer, talking more, hanging out more and it was like you were slowly bringing vernon out of his shell. you got to know a completely different side to him and he was fun, sweet and really cute as well.  

“have you noticed how vernon is acting so differently these days?”, one of his students say. “yeah, you know the other day i saw him in the library!”, the other one explains.

“what? that’s insane”, the other student fills in. “there’s something definitely up. i remember him telling me that the wifi in the library was shitty so he didn’t like to work there”, the other student adds on. 

“oh my god”, the second student tells as realization dawns. “what?”, the other two ask.

“i think vernon has a crush on the english TA”, they say. “wait, that’s so cute. that would make sense. i’ve seen them hanging out a lot and he’s been acting different too. he’s not holed up at his desk like before and i swear he smiles more when he’s talking with the english TA”, the first student adds.

vernon never expected to be so intrigued by someone like you. he was a computer science major, someone who thrived on structure and logic. but then there was you, an english literature major, always in some world or another, lugging around books everyday like it was nothing. despite their differences, he couldn't help but feel drawn to you. you seemed to have entered his life, bringing a whirlwind of chaos and charm.

you’re helping a student, because shakespeare was proving to be difficult for some students.  “if you need more help on how to structure the essay, let me know, i can give you some guidelines”, you explain to the student in front of you. 

“miss yn, i think vernon has a crush on you”, your students says, making you snap your head up because how did vernon suddenly come up?

“what? don’t be ridiculous”, you tell but your student just gives you a look.

“i’m serious! you know he never used to wander around the halls much, but ever since you joined, he has. he hangs out with you alot”, your student adds.

“that’s because we’re good friends”, you correct, giving them a look, but it was like they knew better.

“and he’s totally crushing on you, my friend does computer science and she can read all the signs”, your student explains further. 

“what signs?”, you ask, confused. “that he’s crushing on you. he’s hanging out with you, he smiles more often, he’s not wearing hoodies all the time and he’s hanging out in the library with you? he is totally crushing on you miss yn”, your student explains and suddenly you find yourself at a loss for words.

“maybe if you put this much effort in your essay you’d score higher marks”, you tell with a straight face, bringing the attention back to the topic at hand. you student only seems to sigh in defeat. 

“you both would make a really cute couple you know”, you student tells with a small chuckle as they walk out, leaving you shy but also wondering…did vernon really have a crush on you?

the idea of something like that seemed impossible. you both were so similar yet so different so the idea that he might like you, the possibility that he might have a crush on you stirred something in your heart. it would be a lie to deny that you didn’t like him or have developed a small crush on him too. but the thought that he might feel the same way? that’s something you hadn’t seriously considered until now.

tonight you find yourself staying late again to grade the papers that were given last week. vernon stood hesitantly outside the office door, his hand hovering over the handle as he took a deep breath to steady himself. he wasn't used to feeling nervous—usually, he was the calm and cool guy who approached situations with a quiet confidence. but tonight was different - he was nervous. summoning his courage, vernon knocked softly on your door, his heart beating a little faster than usual.

you looked up, surprised yet pleasantly so, as vernon entered. your smile widened at the sight of him, a welcomed interruption from the monotony of grading.

“i heard you were working late and bought some snacks”, he says, holding up a bag of food and you smile at the thoughtful gesture. 

“you’re a lifesaver, i was actually so hungry”, you tell as vernon opens the bag and hangs you a pack of chips, which surprisingly in your favorite flavor. you take it, telling him a small thank you as vernon takes a seat in front. his eyes wander to the papers on your desk.

“tough class?”, he asks. “yeah but it’s rewarding in a way”, you tell as you bite on a chip and chew.

“do you have lots of paper’s left to grade?”, he asks, looking at the stack, feeling unsure because his plans might fall through otherwise.

“oh, just two more actually, those are all done”, you tell, following his gaze and he looks relieved.

“i’ll wait for you, we can head out together”, he says and you smile softly, nodding your head before you get back to grading your papers. vernon watches at you grade the papers in concentrations, your brows furrowed slightly as you read through the essays your students had written, your pen marking places that were good, or need improvement. 

once you finish, you pack up your things and you're walking with vernon outside as he offers to walk you to the bus stop. you’re mind wanders to vernon and what you students were telling you earlier. was it that obvious you had a crush on vernon? you briefly glance at him before looking down at your feet, feeling your nerves rise up. you reach the bus stop and you both are standing there. vernon looks at you, noticing your distant expression, like something was weighing on your mind. 

“everything alright?” he asks, slightly concerned. 

you snap back to the present, giving him a slightly awkward but genuine smile. “oh, yeah, everything’s fine. just... thinking about stuff.”, you say as you dig your hands in the pocket of your coat.

vernon raises an eyebrow but doesn’t press further. “well, if you need to talk about anything or if you just want to grab a coffee and chat, let me know.”

you nod, a smile playing on your lips. “sure, that sounds nice. i’ll definitely take you up on that offer”, you reply as you see your bus come. as you sit in the bus, you can’t help but replay vernon’s words in your head. did he mean that as a friend or something more? 

as you spend more time with vernon, both of you spending more time hanging out in the library, you start to notice the subtle changes in your feelings, how your heart flutters a little more each time vernon flashes that easygoing smile of his or how you look forward to those quiet moments spent with him in the library. the more you get to know him, the more you appreciate the effortless way he balances his laid-back demeanor with a genuine interest in your thoughts and feelings.  

as vernon spends more time with you in the library, he can’t help but notice how his feelings have evolved from casual admiration to something more. he’s used to being reserved and laid-back, but you’ve managed to stir something in him that he didn’t quite expect. your energy is infectious, and despite his usually reserved nature, he finds himself drawn to you more and more. 

seungkwan leaned forward in his chair at the café, taking a hearty bite of his sandwich. his eyes flicked up at vernon, who was sitting across from him with just an iced americano. 

“so, how’s the TA thing going?” seungkwan asks, his mouth still half-full. he was genuinely curious about how things were unfolding for his friend. he’d considered becoming a TA too, but he didn’t think he had the patient to teach.

“it’s going good,” vernon replies, taking a sip of his drink and meeting seungkwan’s gaze. he tries to sound nonchalant, but there was a subtle shift in his demeanor, a lightness that seungkwan couldn’t quite place.

“who was the person with you earlier? the one you were chatting with?”, seungkwan prods.

“oh,” vernon said, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “they’re another TA at the university.”

seungkwan raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued at the information. “you guys see each other a lot then?”

vernon’s smile grows a little wider, though he tries to keep his tone casual. “yeah, we hang out pretty often. they’re fun to be around.”

seungkwan doesn’t miss the way vernon’s eyes soften when he mentions you. his curiosity is piqued and he leans in slightly, his grin widening as he sets down his sandwich, wiping his hand with a tissue. “fun, huh? you don’t usually talk about people like that”, seungkwan says as he looks at vernon with that look in his eyes, like he knew something more.

vernon hesitated, his fingers idly tracing the rim of his glass. “well, they’re just… different. you know? they make everything feel a bit more… lively. it’s a nice change from my usual routine.”

seungkwan’s grins wider and he gives vernon a look. “sounds like someone’s got a bit of a crush. i’ve never seen you talk about anyone like this before.”

vernon’s eyes widen at seungkwan’s statement, caught off guard by his words. he clears his throat, trying to regain his composure. “it’s not like that. i just… enjoy their company”, vernon defends, but really, it’s no use against seungkwan.

seungkwan chuckles. “sure, sure. i’m just saying. i’ve seen you deal with enough spreadsheets and code to know when someone’s making a difference. you seem happier these days.”

there’s a hint of a smile still lingering on vernon’s face. “i guess you could say that.”

the conversation shifted to other topics, but vernon’s thoughts lingered on you. seungkwan’s observations were spot on, despite his attempts to keep things casual, he had to admit that you had brought a spark of excitement and unpredictability into his life. and as he looked at seungkwan, he realized that maybe, just maybe, there was something more to these encounters than he had originally thought.

it’s the final week of classes before summer break rolls in. the campus is abuzz with students rushing to finish assignments and prepare for exams. you’ve been swamped with work, grading papers and wrapping up last-minute things. by the time you finally pack up and leave the office, the sun has dipped below the horizon, casting a warm, golden glow over the campus.

the campus, usually lively with students and faculty, has quieted down. you walk briskly towards the exit, your thoughts occupied with a mix of relief and anticipation for the summer break. you could really use a break. as you step outside, you spot a familiar figure standing by the edge of the path, bathed in the soft light of a nearby lamp post - vernon.

he stands there with his hands shoved into his jacket pockets, his posture relaxed as he stands there. as soon as his eyes meet yours, his face breaks into a warm, welcoming smile.

“hey,” he calls out, his voice carrying easily across the still evening air.

“hey,” you reply, walking towards him. “what are you doing here?”

“i was just… waiting for you,” he says, a touch of uncertainty creeping into his voice. “i thought i’d see if you wanted to grab a coffee or something before you head back home. i know things have been pretty hectic with the end of the semester and all.”

you nod, giving him a smile at his thoughtfulness. it’s moments like these that make your heart skip a beat, and you realize that the time for the conversation you’ve been dreading is now. you’ve been meaning to ask vernon out for weeks, but each time you gathered the courage, you found yourself faltering, your intentions falling short of actual words.

but the idea of not seeing him over the summer, of leaving things as they are, feels unbearable. you don’t have it in you to wait that long. the thought of waiting until after the break, when you’ll have more time to analyze, second-guess, and overthink would drive you crazy instead. so you’ve decided that tonight is the night. as you both walk together towards the coffee shop, the casual conversation flows easily, but you can’t shake the knot of nervous anticipation in your stomach. vernon orders the coffee, his calm energy making you feel a bit more at ease.

as you wait for your drinks, the silence between you seems charged with unspoken words. vernon looks over at you, a curious expression on his face. “something on your mind?”, he prompts and you shake your head in a hurry, feeling nervous all of a sudden. it’s only after you finish your coffee and you’re walking back that you finally pluck up the courage to ask him.

“hey vernon”, you start, your voice bright but slightly hesitant. he looks up at you, eyebrows raised in curiosity, clearly waiting for you to continue. you fidget with your hands, then look up at him, trying to meet his gaze directly.

“i was wondering if you were free sometime next week? we could grab dinner or something?”, you ask, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness as the words tumble out of your mouth. you can see the surprise and curiosity in vernon’s eyes as he processes what you’ve just said.

“me?”, he asks as he points to himself. you let out a soft laugh, trying to ease the awkwardness. “yes, you, silly. who else?” you say, letting out a nervous smile. you felt your cheeks warm up as you waited for him to answer. 

oh…wait was yn asking me out?

“oh um…”, vernon’s eyes widened, and he suddenly seemed very interested in the cement footpath, his gaze darting around, flickering everywhere but you as he shifts from foot to foot, looking anywhere but directly at you, trying to process what you just asked.

“i’m not sure, i might be busy”, he finally says, but he doesn’t miss the way your smile seems to fall off your face. you try to keep your tone upbeat despite the slight disappointment. “oh, okay. no worries,” you say, trying to sound casual. had you just been rejected? 

you go home, feeling embarrassed because what if vernon would avoid you now? you’d hate that and maybe you were starting to think you shouldn't have asked him out on that dinner offer. had you just blown things between you both? maybe you’d misunderstood his feelings after all. 

vernon sat opposite seungkwan, but his attention was somewhere else. seungkwan, his friend, was chatting animatedly about something that vernon was barely registering.

“vernon? are you even listening to me?” seungkwan’s voice floats in, shaking vernon from his thoughts.

“huh? yeah, i’m listening,” vernon replies, as he tries to focus his attention back on seungkwan.

seungkwan narrows his eyes. “what was i talking about?” he challenges, clearly not buying vernon’s half-hearted attention.

vernon’s mouth opened and closed as he scrambles to recall the conversation, but nothing came to mind. “uh… i, um…” he stammers, looking sheepish.

“you okay? you seem really lost,” seungkwan probed.

vernon sighs and looks down, a bit embarrassed as he rubs the back of his neck in nervousness. “you know that TA i told you about? they asked me if i was free next week to have dinner”, vernon slowly explains.

seungkwan’s eyes widen in surprise. “so, what did you say?” seungkwan asks in anticipation.

vernon only shrugs, “i wasn’t sure, so i told them i might be busy”

seungkwan’s jaw drops in disbelief upon hearing his friend’s words.  “WHAT?” he almost yells, startling vernon. “dude, they were totally asking you out!”, seungkwan says and he was practically vibrating with excitement.

vernon’s mouth formed a small ‘O’ as realization hit him. “oh,” he said quietly, as it  dawned on him.

seungkwan’s frustration seemed to escalate. “are you kidding me? they asked you out on a date, and you what? you said that were busy? oh my god”, seungkwan exclaims dramatically at his friend's cluelessness.

“i didn’t know they meant it like that,” vernon defends, his face flushing with embarrassment.

“you’re an idiot, that’s what you are, an idiot”,” seungkwan mutters, shaking his head in disappointment and disbelief. “you better go on that date man, seriously.”, seungkwan threatens as he points at vernon with a mix of exasperation and encouragement.

“yeah, i’ll think about it, i guess” vernon mumbles, his mind already racing. “there’s no thinking, you’re going and it’s final”, seungkwan says like he had the final say in the matter, looking vernon up and down, baffled at his friend’s idiocy. 

that night, as vernon lay in bed, he couldn’t shake off the nagging feeling that he had missed a golden opportunity. every time he replayed the conversation in his head, he felt like a complete fool. the more he thought about it, the more he realized just how much he wanted to go on that date with you.

“i’m such an idiot,” he mutters to himself, tossing and turning as images of you flashed through his mind. the more he thought about you, the clearer it became: he definitely wanted to go on that dinner date with you.

by morning, vernon is determined and he would figure out a way to make it up to you. but as classes go on, vernon can’t seem to focus on anything. he couldn't stop thinking about you.

the hours dragged by, each minute stretching longer than the last as vernon tried to get through his lectures and office hours. every time he glanced at the clock, he felt a pang of urgency. finally, when the last class was over, he packed up his things with an unusual sense of determination.

as he made his way across campus, his mind raced. he had no idea what he was going to say, but he knew he couldn’t let the opportunity slip away. he spots you just outside the university building, chatting with a couple of friends. his heart pounds as he approaches you, the sound of his footsteps seeming louder than usual.

“hey, vernon!” you greet, your voice warm with familiarity. your friends took the cue and started to drift away, saying they had to head to the other department, leaving you both alone.

“hey, um…” vernon began, his voice shaky but filled with resolve. “can i talk to you for a second?” he asks, a hopeful glint in his eyes.

you’re still bummed about last night’s rejection, unsure of what vernon might say. “sure, what’s up?”

vernon took a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves. “about last night…” he starts, fumbling with his words, glancing around as if seeking reassurance from the familiar surroundings. “i was thinking about what you asked me, and, um-”, he starts but you cut him off, a hint of nervousness creeping into your voice.

“it’s okay if you don’t want to,” you blurt out quickly, trying to mask your own anxiety. you were suddenly aware of the awkward tension between you both and wanted to avoid making things worse. “i mean, you don’t have to feel pressured or anything. we’re going to be seeing each other a lot, so”, you say, the nerves getting to you.

vernon blinks at you, looking even more confused. “wait, what?”, he asks, his brows knitted together as he tries to make sense of your words.

you sigh, feeling your cheeks grow even hotter as you scramble to find the right words. “i know i asked you out, and i totally understand if you’re not interested or if you feel weird about it. i just don’t want you to feel like you have to say yes because—” you trail off, suddenly feeling defeated.

vernon’s confusion only deepens. “actually, i came to say yes”, vernon finally says and you lift your head up to look at him. “yes to the dinner date”, he adds and your eyes widen in surprise.

“wait, really?”, you ask as you continue to look at him.

“yeah, really,” vernon affirms, a shy smile tugging at the corners of his lips. 

“oh”, is all you can say, the word coming out in a surprised whisper before you let out a nervous laugh.

vernon chuckles along, rubbing the back of his neck as if to chase away his own nerves. 

“yeah, i was kind of an idiot about it, but i’m glad we’re on the same page now.” he adds bashfully.

you try to hide the smile on your face, but you can’t help it and a small smile grows on your face at his confession. the awkward atmosphere between you both is replaced with relief.

“so, it’s a date then?” vernon asks, his tone playful as he raises an eyebrow.

you nod, feeling a little shy but also excited. “yes, it’s definitely a date”, you reply, feeling a wave of warmth wash over you and vernon’s grin widens as he nods his head along to your words, meeting your gaze and smiling even wider. 

it had been almost two months since you and vernon began dating, and things had turned out to be quite charming. the students seemed to love the idea of you two being together, some even going so far as to place bets on whether or not you’d end up as a couple or not. the playful speculation had become a running joke, and you couldn’t help but laugh at how obvious you both must have been about your feelings.

“see, i told you vernon had a crush on you,” one of your students chimes in during office hours. you roll your eyes, trying to maintain a professional demeanor.

“please finish your essay on time, no more deadline extensions,” you say, trying to steer the conversation back to academic matters.

“but you guys are really cute together,” your student adds, and you couldn’t help but smile softly.

“alright, aren’t you going to be late for class?” you ask, glancing at the time. as the student hurried out, you spent the rest of the day preparing notes for the next lecture, enjoying the quiet solitude of your office.

later, as you nestled into your favorite corner of the library—a spot you’d claimed as your own hiding place—vernon appears at the entrance. his eyes scan the room before landing on you with a grin.

“i thought i might find you here,” vernon says proudly, his voice carrying a mix of amusement and affection.

“my hiding spot has been busted,” you declare dramatically, making a show of pretending to be disappointed.

vernon chuckles at your antics. “i think if you were given permission, you’d practically live here.”

“maybe,” you said with a playful glint in your eye. “the idea doesn’t sound all that bad. don’t tempt me.”, you prompt and vernon only laughs more.

“well, it’s a good thing i’m here to keep you company. how’s the work coming along?”

you pat the empty space beside you. “better now that you’re here”.

vernon settles next to you. “just promise you won’t fall asleep again”, vernon asks and you look at him, feigning offense. 

“it’s called taking a power nap”, you defend and he laughs. 

“yeah, just don’t use me as a pillow because last time you drooled on my shirt”, he says, making you give him a look.

“i did not!”, you retort. “you totally did, i took a picture as proof”, he says. 

“yeah right, you’re lying”, you say, rolling your eyes.

“wanna bet?” vernon asks as he pulls out his phone, flipping through his photos with an air of mischief. “here it is.” he shows you a blurry, yet unmistakable photo of you snoozing peacefully, a small droplet evident on his shirt.

you feel your cheeks heat up and you swat his phone playfully “you’re the worst. i was just trying to get a bit of rest”, you tell. 

“fine, i’ll make it up to you,” you say after a few seconds, your eyes sparkling with an idea as you looked at him.

vernon raised an eyebrow as he glanced at you. “how?”

without missing a beat, you lean in and plant a soft kiss on his cheek. for a moment, vernon’s entire body went still. his eyes widened in surprise, and he gulped down his nerves, trying to process what had just happened.

“what was that?” he finally managed to stammer.

you pulled back slightly, your heart racing as you tried to maintain a casual demeanor. vernon’s cheeks turn into a soft shade of pink, and he blinks, clearly caught off guard. 

“oh, um, thanks,” he says, his voice coming out in a hesitant mumble, trying to steady his racing heart. “i wasn’t expecting that.” 

you bury your face in your hands, trying to hide the growing blush, though you couldn’t suppress the playful grin tugging at your lips. from behind your fingers, you peek through the gaps to look at vernon, who now had an almost straight, serious expression, though his eyes held a soft gaze as he looked at you. 

“do you want another kiss?”, you ask and he looks at you, surprised, his resolve faltering. 

“if you want to”, he says before he glances around the library, peeking over the shelves to make sure no one was watching. “i just don’t want people thinking we’re up to scandalous things in the library,” he said, his voice dropping to a whisper.

“we are not doing anything scandalous over here,” you say, giving his arm a playful smack. “you’ve clearly never read any romance novels, have you?”, you ask as you look at him. “this is like the least scandalous thing we could be doing in the library right now, i’ve read worse, trust me”, you say, while vernon just looks at you with a fond gaze. 

“alright, if you say so”, he says. he leans in slightly, his eyes searching yours as he looks at you.

you smile softly, getting nervous. the moment felt suspended in time, and his hand found its way to your cheek, his touch both tender and reassuring. he hesitated just for a heartbeat, his thumb brushing lightly against your skin, before finally leaning in. the kiss was soft and tentative at first. his lips were warm against yours, and you could feel the faintest hint of a smile as he deepened the kiss just slightly, moving his lips against yours. you kissed him back, your fingers curling around his arm as you pressed closer. 

when you finally parted, you both linger in the space between, and the quiet of the library seemed to embrace you both. vernon’s eyes meet yours, his expression a mix of adoration and amusement. “see? not scandalous at all,” he whispered with a playful tone.

you laughed softly, the sound mingling with the ambient silence of the library. “definitely not scandalous,” you say, agreeing, your voice equally soft as you hold vernon’s gaze, warmth blooming in your cheeks.

taglist: @paindivinemp3 @naaaaafla @weird-bookworm @blue-jisungs @icyminghao

@wheeboo @wootify @joshuaahong @fallingforshua29 @n4mj00nvq

@itsveronicaxxx @ihrtboo @frankenstein852 @lvlystars @mirxzii @aaniag

[vanteguccir]

── ୨୧ !　𝗧𝗥𝗨𝗧𝗛 𝗢𝗥 𝗘𝗔𝗧

　　　　　　　　　𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐 x reader

SUMMARY: Where Y/N participates in the TRUTH OR EAT video from behind the camera.

WARNING: None.

REQUESTED?: Yes, from @mxqdii

AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

　　　༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

Y/N and the triplets were in Matt's car, Chris and Nick sitting in the back seat while the only girl there sat next to her boyfriend in the passenger seat. The camera used to record the videos on the Sturniolo Triplets channel was positioned in its usual place as it stared back at Y/N.

The car had just entered the Taco Bell drive thru line when Matt reached over and clicked the button to start recording, his right hand going straight for his girlfriend's left thigh while his left handled the steering wheel, stepping on the accelerator carefully until the four's turn arrived.

When the car stopped next to the order window, Y/N stretched a little to her left, getting closer to Matt so that the attendant could hear her clearly, starting to list the order, having previously asked for the boys what they wanted to eat.

Matt gave her a quick look of gratitude, which the girl responded with a sincere smile, knowing that he wasn't feeling up to talking to a stranger that day.

It didn't take long for the order to come out and a few minutes later the four were home again, Nick organizing the tripod that would hold the camera facing the kitchen counter while Matt and Chris sat in their respective places, Chris holding the box with the order.

Y/N chose to sit behind the camera on a pink bean bag chair that she retrieved from her shared room with Matt, sitting comfortably with a tray on her lap, where her order was still unopened, opting to wait for the boys to start eating for her to do it too, this being a custom created by them.

Soon, Nick clicked the record button, and the video intro began. Y/N watched them with a small smile on her face, her hands free having chosen to put her phone away to give her full attention to the triplets' work that day, just as she did every time she participated in some way.

"Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?" Chris asked the first question, his left hand holding the half-open black notebook as his face was turned towards Matt and Nick.

Matt finished swallowing what he had in his mouth, his right hand raised holding the taco in the air.

"Yes." He responded quickly, shrugging. His blue eyes quickly glanced at Y/N, who was trying not to laugh, already knowing the story.

"Teacher's pet." Y/N hummed, Nick's head turning to her quickly, a big smile growing on his face before he joined her on the singing. "If I'm so special, why am I a secret?" They sang together while dancing with their hands, laughing loudly.

Matt brought the taco back to his mouth, taking a bite, ignoring his girlfriend and brother before smiling with his mouth full as he heard his brothers yelling at him to wait.

"Really? Does Y/N know about this?" Chris asked with a smirk, looking sideways at the girl, receiving a nod from both sides.

"Yes, and I don't judge, I also had a crush on a teacher." She said, taking a bite of her own taco.

"Tell me more about that." Nick asked, his eyes going from Matt to Y/N repeatedly.

"You don't want to know." Matt replied with his mouth full, earning chuckles from the two beside him. Nick looked at Y/N, waiting for her to tell Matt's story or her own, despite her not being in the game.

"Don't look at me." She said, raising her arms in surrender, showing to him that she wouldn't say anything.

Nick and Chris rolled their eyes at the lack of information, the older one making a mental note to ask Y/N about it later before clicking on his phone screen, making the countdown start again.

"What's your guilty pleasure song, and when was the last time you listened to it and got into the groove?" Nick asked after telling Matt to finish chewing his last bite, positioning the open notebook with the covers up and holding the neon green highlighter in his right hand, an eager smile on his face.

Y/N let out a laugh muffled by her hand, already knowing what the answer would be since it was technically her fault.

"Hmm... I'll have to check the exact one on my phone." Matt said, taking his phone out of his pocket and unlocking it, opening his music app.

"Is there more than one?" Chris asked in a curious tone.

"Maybe. Actually, I don't have a song that I'm exactly embarrassed to listen to, but I do have songs that I prefer to listen to alone or with Y/N." Matt replied, pressing his lips into a thin line trying to contain his smile as he opened the playlist shared with his girlfriend, thanking himself internally for using a privacy film, preventing Nick from seeing the name of the playlist and the songs there.

Matt rolled his thumb across his phone's screen, stopping at a specific song before pressing play, the angelic opening melody of Only Angel by Harry Styles starting to play, Nick and Chris having to lean in and almost cling to Matt to be able to see the name of the music and it's artist.

"Harry Styles?" The oldest asked in a surprised tone, widening his eyes and looking at Y/N, who was smiling big while following the female voice from the beginning and making gestures with her hands as if she was holding an invisible guitar.

Nick quickly paused the song before it went over the allowed time and got copyright on the video.

"She's a devil in between the sheets." Y/N hummed again as she crumpled the paper that previously wrapped her taco, having finished it, receiving disgusted looks from Chris and Nick while Matt smirked.

"It's her fault and her obsession with Harry Styles." Matt said, shrugging as he locked his phone and put it back in his pocket.

"So Harry Styles is your guilty pleasure, huh?" Chris joked, smirking and raising his eyebrows.

"Don't be weird." Matt pushed his shoulder, rolling his eyes.

"This song is great, don't even start." Y/N argued from behind the camera, huffing.

Chris scoffed and waved his hand as if it wasn't all that, taking the notebook back as Nick clicked the button for the time to start counting again, Matt going back to eating his taco.

"Time's up!" Nick spoke loudly when the countdown hit 0, clicking on his phone screen and watching Matt put the last piece of his second taco on the table, finishing swallowing what he had in his mouth and looking at Chris.

"What are the first three things that you look for in a significant other?" Chris asked as he looked at the open notebook, before underlining the question asked and closing it.

Matt looked past the camera, his eyes meeting Y/N's as a smile spread across his face. He knew all three by heart, hell he knew all three, ten, twenty and all the things he looked for in a significant other, because Y/N had them all.

He learned and discovered everything he wanted in someone he loved with her, after all the girl was and is his first girlfriend and they would already complete four years together. The two grew out of adolescence together and learned important things about themselves together as well.

"First, that she knows how to communicate." Matt began, holding up the index finger of his right hand. "Communication is very important in a relationship, and I had to learn this along with her. As you already know, I have anxiety and this has hold me back many times in my life from saying what I was feeling or what I wanted, generating a greater discomfort in me and future fights. When Y/N and I started dating we were 16 years old, we were still new to everything and as the days and months of dating went by we learned together that the ideal was: we felt uncomfortable about anything? Call your partner and tell them right away, to try to fix that or improve the situation in some way, because we saw that when we kept it inside, it always generated fights in the future. So communication is the key and the first thing."

"They grow up so fast." Nick sniffled playfully, pretending to wipe away an invisible tear.

"That was such a beautiful answer, Matt." Chris said while clapping his hands with an exaggerated expression of pride, leaning over Matt and hugging him from the side. Matt rolled his eyes at the two, a smile spreading across his face as he patted Chris on the back.

Y/N let out a laugh with the brothers, shouting in encouragement to her boyfriend, who let out a low laugh, lowering his head in embarrassment.

"Can I continue?" He asked, covering his face with his hands to hide his flushed cheeks, speaking again when he saw his brothers fall silent and gesture for him to keep going. "The second one isn't as serious as the first, but if she can rock on a man's polo shirt." Matt said, raising the middle finger of his right hand, making a total of two raised.

"Like, wear a man's polo shirt and look cool with it on?" Nick asked, turning to face Matt, who nodded.

"Y/N can wear anything and look good, it's no wonder she goes to college to become a fashion designer and is a fashion influencer on Instagram and Tiktok." Chris commented, passing the black notebook and green highlighter to Nick. Matt nodded as he pointed his hand at Chris with an "exactly" look.

"And she always takes my clothes from my side of the closet and uses them in the outfits she puts together and it always looks really good." Matt added like a pround boyfriend.

Y/N smiled behind the camera, she loved it when the boys spoke highly of her clothes, creating her outfits every day was her biggest hobby.

"And the last one I think is just goals and aspirations of her own. Y/N was always a very dreamy girl and thought about what she wanted to be in life since I met her when we were 14, and not only that, but she went after what she wanted and and always reached them." Matt finished, raising his ring finger before lowering all three fingers he had up.

"Matt, you're so..." Chris began, trying to complete the sentence but getting lost in the good words he could use. "I loved hearing your answers. They were really good." He finally finished with a big smile on his face, his voice getting high pitched with the happiness used when expressing himself.

"Yeah, your relationship is an example of a good relationship. It's very beautiful to see how much you've evolved together, it's no wonder that you're going to complete four years together." Nick commented, a look of pride spreading across his face as he opened his notebook to look for the first question he would ask Chris.

Matt looked at Y/N beyond the camera, a goofy smile appearing on his face at the sight of her lovey dovey gaze.

"I love you." She spoke voiceless, blowing a kiss in the air that Matt pretended to catch and put in the pocket of his hoodie.

"I love you more." He replied voicelessly as well, before finishing his taco and switching places with Chris.

Y/N's heart warmed as she rethought Matt's answers, a feeling of pride spreading through her body. She loved him so much and had so much appreciation for the relationship they had built together. She hoped that they could always grow more and try to be better people every day together, too.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

extra - comments:

"I lived to see Matt listening to Harry Styles."

"Harry being Matt's guilty pleasure, I get you, Matt."

"The communication part is so real and so important to say!!"

"Matt seems like a super thoughtful boyfriend 🥺"

"omg, 4 years together, that's so cool 😫."

"I love Matt and Y/N together so much!!"

"Y/N and Nick singing Teacher's Pet together 😭"

"I adore Y/N's friendship with Chris and Nick!!"

"Petition for Y/N to do a GRWM just with Matt's clothes ✏️📄"

[simp4wom3n]

Why Don't I Know You?

Requested: Yes/No ~ How about Regina having a crush on the reader but not saying anything bc she thinks the reader won't like her, but when the reader starts talking to her and everything, Regina is suddenly possessive ykwis

Pairing: Regina George x Reader

Summary: Shocked when a face she doesn't recognise shows up in her class, Regina makes it her goal to learn everything about them, even if it leads to her gaining a massive crush. ~ Word Count: 4.1k ~ Warnings: lotta swearing, one slur, otherwise mainly fluff

A/N: HI!!! FIRST RENEE/REGINA FIC!!! she is criminally underwritten, so I thought I would do my part (other people pls do right for her I need stuff to read). I love her so so much, and I had a blast writing this, so pls enjoy <3 + I will be creating a Renee rapp taglist so comment or message me if you wanna be on it :)

The halls of North Shore High were like a second home to Regina. Some would call it her hunting ground. Each year, she relished her opportunity to prowl the hallways, hunting the new freshman as she committed every new face and name to mind, with the intention of digging up all the dirt she possibly could. With thanks to Gretchen, she knew everything about everyone.

But then there was you.

"Alright, we have a new student joining us today."

Regina's eyes widened in pure shock as you walked into the room. With your bag casually slung over your shoulder, you make a beeline for the empty tables surrounding Regina. Ignoring the intensity of her gaze, you drop your bag and settle into the chair next to her. The faint strains of music emanated from the headphones hanging from your ears as you began organizing your belongings, only to be interrupted by the teacher.

"Y/n, if you could please stand and introduce yourself."

Your eyes flicked nervously towards the teacher, and the entire class turned to look at you. The intensity of Regina's gaze made your cheeks glow with a faint red before you sighed dejectedly and reluctantly stood up, pulling out your headphones.

"Um... Hi, I'm Y/n... not really much else to say."

The teacher nodded at you before turning around to start the lesson. Watching as you sat down, Regina's focus shifted entirely to you.

She couldn't tell whether it was because she knew nothing about you, or that you were just so damn hot.

Maybe it was both.

As soon as the bell rang, signalling the end of the class, Regina wasted no time storming off to find Gretchen. Having watched you for the entirety of the class, she was desperate to find out everything about you.

Strutting through the packed hallway, everyone staring at her in fear, Regina locked onto her target as she came into her view. "Gretchen!" she called irritatedly. The small girl quickly turned around as her eyes widened in fear. "Tell me... How is it that I don't know anything about this new Junior, Y/n? Why wasn't I informed? I need all the details now!"

Gretchen, scrambling to keep up with Regina's relentless pace, stammered out an apology. "I-I'm sorry, Regina! I didn't even know they were coming."

"God, you are useless!"

In only a week, not only had watching you become her routine, but she had even started to develop a crush on you, as painful as that was for her to admit.

She was supposed to be chased, not the one chasing.

Seeing you had become the favourite part of her day, even above having the whole school bow at her feet. She hadn't even talked to you. She just watched.

She meticulously studied your every move, subconsciously committing all of your subtle mannerisms to memory. Like the way you would take notes, or the way you would nibble at your fingers when you were focused. Or her personal favourite, when you knawed at the end of your pencil when you were nervous or stressed.

Fuck, she wishes she was that pencil.

She hated to admit it, but the thought of talking to you terrified her. Her usually overbearing confidence drained away whenever you sat in the chair next to her, your mysterious yet comforting presence causing her to malfunction.

And yet, as she sat at lunch with Gretchen and Karen, she refused to mutter a word about you to them. The furthest they pushed was when Gretchen asked about you after catching Regina staring at you, and the look Regina gave the poor girl made her shut up immediately.

The lunch tables were packed as usual, but Regina's eyes scanned the hallway beside them. She was well aware that you never sat at any of the tables, so she patiently waited for you to return to your locker, which was conveniently placed within sight of her table.

Karen and Gretchen's incessant babbling went unnoticed as you finally appeared. She couldn't help but notice your slouched posture and sluggish movements. You looked exhausted. Your headphones, which you always had on you, dangled from one ear as you forcefully opened your locker.

As if she wasn't already concerned, the table of varsity jocks had also noticed you, taking your clearly irritated mood as a green light to push even more of your buttons. From across the room, Regina watched with a clenched jaw as three of them stood from the table and made their way towards you.

Her body ached with anger as she watched them grab you by the shoulder and throw you against the lockers. Your exhausted expression turned to one of fear as they held you up against the cold metal doors. The guy forcefully snatched your headphones away, callously tossing them to the ground and obliterating them with a single forceful step.

Regina choked on a gasp. She knew how much you loved those headphones.

She was annoyingly out of earshot as she watched them continue to laugh at and berate you whilst shaking you against the lockers. Her blood was boiling. The others had noticed her expression and cast confused glances towards the commotion, which only confused them more.

The Regina they knew would be laughing.

After Regina's next victims finally let you go, your body shook as you realised that the whole school had just watched you get shamelessly belittled. As soon as your gaze locked with Regina's, your embarrassment grew unbearable, triggering you to hastily get your belongings before moving to make a swift escape.

The last Regina saw of you, you were frantically running away, desperately trying to hide your state as tears streamed down your face.

Those jocks had no idea what was coming for them.

The next time she laid eyes on you was the week after. She had already exacted her revenge on the jocks, having called their parents and telling them they all had STDs, yet when she caught sight of your weary expression as you entered the classroom, the familiar sense of triumph eluded her.

As the lesson passed and the teacher blabbered about a new group project, Regina's eyes never left you as you buried yourself in your notebook.

"Ok, listening, please." the teacher announced, garnering both of your attention. "The groups are as follows," you patiently waited for your name to be read out so you could go back to absentmindedly doodling in the margins of your book, whilst Regina similarly waited to hear the name of the poor soul who would be stuck with her. Yet, to her surprise, she wasn't disgusted by the name read beside hers.

"Y/n and Regina,"

With eyes wide and fixed on the teacher, Regina failed to notice the sudden blush that crept onto your cheeks, causing you to quickly lower your head. "You have the rest of the lesson to plan." the teacher mumbled before returning to their desk, where they sat silently.

Neither of you moved. After a second of secretly hoping Regina would make her move, you figured she wasn't interested in you or the project. Opening your computer and immediately diving into research, Regina sat at her desk, trying to build the courage to talk to you.

God, she hated being a coward.

After a few minutes and a few internal pep talks, she decided to take her one excuse to talk to you as she finally scooted her desk towards yours and turned to face you. As she inched closer, your heart began to race, sensing her gaze fixed on you. With a bashful smile, you diverted your attention from your screen and finally made eye contact with her.

She was breathtaking.

Clearing your throat, you quickly turned back to your computer as you scratched the back of your neck. "I-I'll just do it all when I get home," you spoke nervously, presuming THE Regina George would want nothing to do with you or the project.

"What makes you think I'd make you do it alone," she retorts, her tone more flirtatious than she had intended, but she wasn't mad about it. You looked back at her, lost for words for a second as you tried to scramble together a response.

"Well... I-I just presumed you wouldn't want to help." A small smile formed on her lips as you briefly glanced at her, "I mean, you hardly pay attention, so I just... figured." She softly giggles at your words, her laughter sending a flutter of excitement through your body.

Little did you know she was distracted by you.

"Come to mine later. We can do it together." Regina's unexpected display of confidence caught both of you off guard as her usual flirtatious demeanour made a comeback. Meanwhile, you stared at her in disbelief, trying to process what had just happened. "Ugh... Yeah, sure, if that's ok?"

"I wouldn't have asked if it wasn't"

As the school bell rang through the corridors, you were overwhelmed with both relief and anxiety. After enduring a tedious day at school, you were now faced with the terrifying task of not only talking to Regina but also spending hours alone with her at her house.

Walking out the doors and towards the car park, the sound of the bustling school fading into the background, your eyes catch a familiar blonde leaning up against her Jeep. Your heart began to race faster as you approached her, your bag feeling heavier with each step.

Her expression softened as she noticed you approaching, a warm smile gracing her lips, and she pushed herself off her car. "Hey," she greets softly, a soft shade of pink painting her cheeks as you both smile at each other. "Hi," you said breathlessly with a small chuckle.

Without another word, Regina moves to get in, and you follow suit, chucking your bag into the backseat next to hers before climbing into the passenger seat.

The breeze gently tousled your hair as you drove to her house, the soothing tunes of music filling the air, matching the nervous excitement between you both. Your heart beat along with the music as you snuck glances at the girl sitting next to you. With her eyes focused on the road and the wind softly brushing her skin, you were utterly mesmerised by her.

Of course, you had heard of Regina George's horror stories, but this girl was different.

Sure, you hadn't spoken till this morning, but there was something about her you couldn't quite describe. Something that brought you to school every day, comforting you as you sat in undoubtedly one of the most boring classes, and that gave life at North Shore High purpose.

Frankly, you rejected any idea of her being a heartless bitch.

When you eventually turned into her driveway, your gaze was forced away from her as you caught sight of her house, or should you say mansion. The house was almost cinematic in grandeur, your eyes growing wider by the second as you drove closer before eventually stopping at the door.

"Wow," you mumbled under your breath as you exited her car, your eyes not leaving the building as you reached for your bag. You heard Regina chuckle lightly as she led the way to her door. "My mum's not home, thank god, so we have the place to ourselves."

You nod mindlessly as you follow her through the front door. As you trailed behind her, the pristine marble floors beneath your feet echoed with each step, a stark contrast to the scuffed linoleum of the school corridors.

Just when you thought you had gotten used to it, Regina led you to her room. Stepping inside, you find yourself mesmerised by everything around you. "This is your bedroom?" you asked, clearly taken aback. Regina glanced back at you, a shy smile on her face.

"Yeah, It was my parents, but I asked them to trade me." "Right...". You couldn't help but be captivated by the array of decorations adorning the walls, taking in the posters and photos that offered a rare glimpse into her life beyond her reign as the queen of North Shore.

Sitting on her bed and removing her shoes, she motions for you to do the same. Dropping your bag next to her massive bed and grabbing everything you need, you carefully sit down next to her, leaving enough room between the two of you so you don't seem invasive.

Opening your laptop and notebook, you place them on the bed as you pull up the project materials. You can feel Regina's gaze on you even though she's trying to be subtle, and the thought instantly makes your cheeks glow softly.

"So, uh, where do you want to start?"

The next few hours flew by as you worked on the project together. Regina was surprisingly helpful, the two of you moving closer as your work drew to a close. Now that the project was over, the familiar awkwardness lingered in the air as you searched for something to talk about that wouldn't embarrass you.

"You're really good at drawing, you know." Regina compliments softly, pointing at your notebook margins before you can say anything as you blush at her words. "Thanks... I've been doing it more since-" "Your headphones broke." Regina cuts you off as you look at her surprised.

"Yeah... How did you know that?" It was Regina's turn to blush as she realised that she had just revealed herself. Stammering to find an excuse, she looks away for a second, embarrassed. "I-I'm just a very observant person."

You look at her suspiciously with a small smile gracing your lips, the thought of Regina watching you making your heart flutter.

"You're different." you find yourself blurting out, "from how everyone else describes you, I mean." you finish quickly. Regina chuckles as she smiles at you softly. "You're different too. Good different. I like it."

The tension between you grew as you stared into each other's eyes. A softness behind her pale blue eyes drew you in, and before you knew it, you were slowly leaning in. Your heart was beating out of your chest as you caught Regina glancing down at your lips, her own caught between her teeth as your faces grew closer.

"Regina, honey!" You scramble backwards as Regina's bedroom door flies open, revealing who you believe to be her mum. "Oh. Hi there!" "Mum, seriously!?" Regina yells in disbelief. Your ears begin to ring as your head pounds, thinking about what would have happened if you had not been interrupted.

"I'm sorry, honey, I didn't realise you had anyone over." While Regina's mother was apologising, you could hear Regina sighing in frustration next to you. "I'll just go to the kitchen." Her mum suggests as she begins to leave the room, but you beat her to it. "No, Ms George, it's okay. I was on my way out anyway." You offer her a smile you hope appears as genuine as you quickly throw everything into your bag.

Trying to ignore Regina's pained gaze, you threw your bag over your shoulder, grabbed your shoes, and quickly exited her bedroom, making your way out the front door. You had no plan on how to get home, but you would rather walk than have to sit in that room after what had happened.

Walking into school the next day was like walking straight into a nightmare. You already weren't fond of the school, having been called slurs and made fun of constantly, but adding to that, your usual excitement of seeing Regina had been replaced with pure fear.

In just one night, you managed to spin every interaction you ever had with the girl, leaving you incredibly embarrassed about how you had let it all happen. Who were you to think Regina might actually like you? You were probably just a pawn in some big game.

Unlocking your locker and throwing it open, already fed up with the day before it had even begun, you began to unpack your stuff, completely ignorant of the approaching jock.

Walking into school with a similarly distraught look, Regina's mind was stuck reeling over the events from last night. The question of why you ran away was all she could think about until she heard a sharp bang.

Before you could react, you were once again thrown against the lockers, an irritated grunt leaving your lips. Your eyes met the same bastard who had made bullying you their new hobby. "Back for more, dyke?" he taunted you, your fists clenching involuntarily as you awaited the verbal abuse he was undoubtedly about to unleash on you.

Regina's head immediately whipped in its direction, a new sense of anger rushing through her body as she saw your saddened figure being pinned up against the lockers. Without hesitation, she storms towards the jock holding you against the wall with a fire burning behind her eyes.

"Fuck off, asshole!"

The boy's expression quickly shifted, causing him to release his grip on you and hastily retreat in terror. You sighed in relief as you observed Regina approaching you, her face contorted with unmistakable rage.

You found it quite amusing how scary everyone found her, causing the boy who had just been full of confidence to shrink into insignificance, like a tiny ant that she was about to step on.

"Look in her direction again, and it won't just be STDs next time."

The boy's face flashed in realisation before hurriedly scrambling off. All eyes were fixed on you as Regina directed her gaze towards you, her expression instantly softening with a hint of concern in her eyes. "Are you ok?" you managed a nod as the softness of her voice filled you with a comforting warmth.

"Yeah… Thanks," you replied softly, your familiar awkward energy filling the air. She watched you momentarily as you remained silent, hopeful that you would acknowledge her. Yet, as you continued to avert your gaze away from her, she gave you a soft nod before turning to leave. Her stomach sank as the failing state of your relationship grew more and more obvious.

With an unfamiliar burn of tears behind her eyes, her pace quickened as she tried to get as far away from you as she possibly could.

But you stopped her.

"Regina, wait!"

Looking over her shoulder and meeting your sorry gaze, her heart can't help but flutter as she watches you slowly jog after her. "Sorry, I-" you hesitated, feeling a surge of nerves as you came the closest you had been to Regina since yesterday. "Did you want to maybe... hang out at yours after school again?"

"Didn't we finish the project?" She seems confused, completely missing that you wanted to spend time together outside what was needed. "No, we did. I just thought we could, you know, just watch a movie or something, but if you're not into that-"

"I would love to." She interrupts your anxious babbling with a gentle laugh, her gaze filled with admiration as you stare at her in a state of surprise and joy. "Meet me at the same place, ok?" "Yeah". Regina walks away from you with a smirk as you stand there frozen.

Holy shit, you just asked Regina George out.

The trip to Regina's after the bell finally rang was much like the day before.

She waited for you by her car, dismissing her other friends when she spotted you. Greeting each other warmly before jumping in the car, you once again listened to music whilst the wind swept through your hair, a nervous yet warm sense of anticipation falling between you.

Pulling up to her house, which you were still in awe of, you jumped out of the car and walked towards the front door behind Regina. "This time, my mum actually isn't home and won't be. I made sure of it. So we really do have the place all to ourselves."

You both laughed at her words as a small blush crept onto your cheeks. You walked behind Regina as she entered her bedroom, studying the now familiar walls as she set up everything you needed to watch a movie.

After sitting on her bed with the TV switched on and Netflix loaded up, you still remained standing in her doorway, nibbling on your pencil, which you always kept stowed away in your pocket, causing her to glance at you with a puzzled expression. "You seem distracted. Everything okay?" she asked, her voice soft yet discerning.

Snapping back into reality, offering her a sheepish smile, you replied, "Yeah, just lost in thought, I guess." taking the pencil from your lips, you slowly moved towards her bed, your eyes subconsciously scanning every inch of her body, your mind going wild seeing her so comfortable.

Her gaze fixated on you, her piercing blue eyes captivating in the sunlight pouring through the window. She laughed softly, the sound filling the room with a pleasant melody. "Lost in thought or thoughts of me?"

The comment caught you off guard, and your cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "I… um, what makes you say that?". Regina, who reclined into her bed, gestured towards your hand, occupied by a chewed-up pencil.

"You always chew on that when you're nervous," she spoke softly. Your eyes widened in astonishment as the familiar burn returned to your cheeks. "How do you know that?" She smirked, "I notice everything." Regina's gaze never wavered as she continued watching you, a playful glint in her eyes.

"So, what's got you so nervous, Y/n?"

You felt a lump form in your throat as Regina's question hung in the air, filling the lavish room with tension. You couldn't help but fidget with your pencil, trying to find the right words to capture the overwhelming mix of emotions that Regina's presence constantly stirred within you.

"I, uh… it's just… everything, I guess. School, people, this…" You gestured vaguely between the two of you, unable to articulate the chaotic mess of feelings inside. Regina leaned up, her voice softening. "Well, you don't have to be nervous around me." Her eyes locked onto yours, a sincerity beneath the confident facade. "Now sit."

Slipping your shoes off and sitting on the bed, you move closer to Regina, who is lying against her pillows, her gaze unwavering. Eventually settling next to her, you turn to look at her, your heart fluttering as her soft eyes meet yours.

The room seemed to buzz with an unspoken energy, and all you could hear was the sound of your shared breaths. You caught your bottom lip between your teeth, watching Regina's eyes analyse your face. A blush painted her cheeks, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still.

Regina seemed hesitant, her mouth opening as if searching for the right words. "You know, I've been infatuated with you ever since you first walked into class." Your heart did a somersault at her words. A dreamy smile spread across your face, and you couldn't help but feel a rush of joy and disbelief.

"Regina George. Infatuated with me?" you teased playfully, her confession coursing adrenaline through your veins. With a gentle laugh, she hides her face briefly behind her hand before looking back at you, matching your wide smile.

"Shut up."

Leaning towards you, Regina's hands delicately wrapped around your neck, a slight shiver travelling down your spine. The room appeared to tighten as Regina held you, her touch confident and gentle. You caught your bottom lip between your teeth, your eyes never leaving Regina's as she closed the distance.

Time seemed to stand still as her lips met yours.

The touch of her lips against yours was gentle, her hands brushing your neck with a mix of desire and passion. Everything else faded away as you fell into the kiss.

Her breath mingled with yours, and you could feel the rapid beat of her heart echoing your own. The room seemed to buzz with an electrifying charge, and the only sounds that reached your ears were the shared breaths between you two.

As Regina pulled away, a shared moment of breathless silence hung in the air. Once buzzing with unspoken energy, the room was now filled with the soft sounds of your intertwined breaths. Regina's cheeks were tinted with a deeper blush, and a subtle smirk played on her lips.

Your mind still reeling from the feeling of her lips on hers, you speak with a breathless chuckle, "What's everyone else gonna think?". Regina smirked at your question, a glint of defiance in her eyes as she pulled you back in, mumbling her response on your lips.

"Let them talk."

Tag-list:@nitchxhdc @emeraldevan @looseheartedlady @the-night-owl-blr @badassjaguar @txmxav @oh-thats-cute @blckrwidow @cacciatricediartemide @flaiire1805 @rainbow-love4ever @fall-08 @simp4nat @natashadeservedmore @livingforwaddams @alexkolax @ssinfulprayers @wifeyjennaortega @thenextdawn @wol-fica

[thewidowsledger]

Looking Out For Three

© thewidowsledger 2024 - DO NOT REPUBLISH AND PLAGIARISE

Pairing: Avenger Natasha Romanoff x Agent Female Reader

Word count: 5.6k

Warnings: +18, Natasha has a penis (no smut though yet), pregnant reader, kinda gruesome details of organ taking/trafficking, self-destruction if you squint, angst, bad writing

Author's Note: This is a scheduled post; I just recently lost my cousin so I may not be able to be active here for some time but I’ll for sure check in once in a while. Happy reading! I hope you're all having a good time.

MINI SERIES: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

⧗

Natasha's eyes fell upon the woman's lower abdomen. Her stomach is slashed open, and the crimson depths reveal that something has been taken from within…

A baby, she could tell that it was a baby as the skin on the stomach of the woman was slightly stretched out and the umbilical cord splayed out on the bed.

A life that had just begun, now cruelly snuffed out.

Two lives cruelly snuffed out.

⧗

After Natasha had taken care of Strange, her focus immediately returned to you. Seeing your unconscious form, her heart broke as she frantically searched for something to cover your exposed stomach.

She found a blanket and tore it into a small piece and she gently draped it over your stomach, her hands trembling, staring at your wounded stomach. Tears streamed down her face as she looked at you, whispering words of apology.

“I'm sorry,” she murmured, her voice choking with emotion. “I should've listened to you last night, if I knew you wouldn’t…you wouldn't…” Natasha gasped for air but still trying to hold back a sob, she finally looked at your face. She held your hands and pecked a kiss all over it.

“I could've lost you, detka. I can't let that happen…I’ll never forgive myself if I lost you.”

“Everything's going to be okay. You, me, and our baby,” she smiled at the thought, wiping some tears on her face, “We're going to be a happy family.”

Tony landed with a heavy thud, the suit's thrusters kicking up a cloud of dirt and debris. Bucky quickly joined him, eyes wide as he took in the scene before him. A doctor's body lying on the floor, unrecognizable as its face has a lot of holes in it.

He started to move towards you and Natasha, but Natasha's steely glare made him stop in his tracks.

Yelena tried to approach her sister and offered her help but Natasha ignored her as well. The expression on her face was cold and distant, her only priority was getting you to safety. She carried you in a bridal style and the rest of the team watched, unsure of what to do, as Natasha carried out of the room and started heading onto the Quinjet.

⧗

Steve and Tony spoke quietly to each other, trying to make sense of the situation. Tony couldn't provide any concrete answers, but he did share one unsettling detail. He projected a hologram display, showing the scans of the doctor's body. The bullet holes were highlighted in red, showing exactly where each of the 21 shots had landed. The lone bullet in the shoulder was also indicated by a separate red mark.

“Here,” he said, pointing to the tiny screen. “21 bullets to the head and one in the shoulder.”

The team winced as they took in the information, their gazes shifting to Natasha, who was still holding your hand in her lips.

Tony shrugged, holding his hands up in a defensive gesture. “Hey, I'm not judging,” he said. “I've done my fair share of blasting people in the head too.”

The team started to look your way, their gazes shifting towards your unconscious body and Natasha, but then they quickly averted them when they saw Natasha glaring at them. They scrambled to look busy, trying to avoid her disapproving glare.

In an attempt to look as if they weren't just staring at your unconscious body and Natasha sitting close to you, Sam awkwardly broke the silence by pointing at the glassed windows of the Quinjet, “Wow, a bird.”

His words hung awkwardly in the air, only to be met with Natasha's continued glare and the team's collective facepalm at his failed attempt to diffuse the tension.

⧗

When the Quinjet landed on the compound, the team immediately got up and was welcomed by Clint as the door of the Quinjet slowly opened. He already knew what happened and he was on leave since Laura just gave birth to their third child.

He walked towards the bed where your unconscious body was laying.

“Hey Nat.”

She didn't answer, but as soon as Clint touched the bed to help her get you out the Quinjet Natasha swiftly pulled a gun and pointed it towards his head.

“Nat…” Clint called, the team became frozen in place at the sight.

“Don't touch her.” She said her voice was hoarse and shaky.

“Yes, I'm not touching her. I am touching the bed,” he offered a logical argument, his tone gentle as he tried to diffuse the situation. He immediately but slowly moved his hands away from the stretcher you were in and put them in the air where Natasha could see.

The room's tension rose even more as the team started calling her out.

“Romanoff.” Tony called in a warning.

“Natasha.” It sounded more authoritative coming from Maria.

“Natasha, calm down.” Steve’s voice joined the fray, calling out gently.

“Back down! No one gets to touch her!” Natasha furiously exclaimed.

Natasha's grip on her gun tightened further, she pushed the tip of the gun on the back of Clint’s head, her eyes beginning to well up with tears.

A ripple of tension ran through the group everytime Natasha spoke. The atmosphere in the room immediately grew heavy, and the team members instinctively also tightened their grip on their own weapons.

“No one’s gonna hurt Y/N, Nat…please.” Clint reassured pleadingly.

“Shut the fuck up!”

And with that a loud thud echoed through the Quinjet with Natasha’s unconscious body laying on the floor. Yelena, her sister sulking at the corner with her hands clenched into fists pointed towards where Natasha was and her widow's bite smoking.

“Izvini, sestra.” (Sorry, sister)

⧗

Dr. Cho launched into her report, clearly concerned about the oversight. Wanda, Steve and Bruce were in the medbay with you.

“So no one noticed the bleeding on her head?” the doctor repeated incredulously. The room fell silent for a moment, and then Steve spoke up.

“Natasha wouldn’t let us near her.”

“Yeah,” Bruce confirmed, “She came before the team, I prepped the stretcher and she immediately snatched it away from me, not even letting me help her.”

Wanda clenched her jaw in frustration, her eyes narrowing as she listened to the two about what happened. She couldn't help but feel annoyed and frustrated with Natasha's behavior, which had led to your current situation. If Natasha had just been a little more cooperative and let the team help her help you, you would've been fine and awake by now. Instead, you were lying unconscious in the medbay, not sure when you're going to wake up.

“And no one knew that she's pregnant?” Dr. Cho added that made the three wince in guilt, how could they not notice? You live in the same place for god's sake, in the same compound.

Wanda was particularly hard on herself, her face filled with guilt. She’s your best friend and you two had spent so much time together, she felt ashamed that she didn’t notice anything different about you, especially since the two of you are inseparable when Natasha was away for 2 months.

You always had a morning walk together, gets to shop together, you two always watched sitcoms together and trained together. Wanda could only remember a moment when she had accidentally hit you in the abdomen during combat training, and you had collapsed on the floor laughing at the witch. You were for sure pregnant at that time and Wanda could only wince at the memory hoping that hit didn't affect her growing niece at your stomach

And the fact that she covered up for you made her want to let the ground eat her, what if she just let JARVIS figure out that it was you who was pregnant? This wouldn't have happened to you…

“Don't worry, Y/N is stable" the doctor said reassuringly, “and she should wake up at any moment. However, we can't say for sure when that will be.”

She looked around the room, meeting the worried gazes of the team members who's nodding at her words.

“I’ll get her an ultrasound later which should give us more accurate information. For now let's give her body a break. And I need Romanoff here as soon as possible.”

⧗

Natasha tossed and turned in her sleep, distress written all over her face. She rubbed her eyes and slowly sat at the bed, she took the place in where she was; it was your shared bedroom. She can feel her brain pounding inside her skull but still, she immediately got off the bed as the first thing she thought was you, she found herself frantically walking down a dimly lit hallway, approaching a closed door at its end.

As she neared the closed door, she noticed a soft glow and a bed with a woman laid out on it, bathed in a dim light. The sight invoked a pang of uneasiness in her, but she couldn’t shake the compulsion to get closer.

Natasha continued walking, drawn to the woman on the bed like a magnet. Each step seemed to echo loudly in the silent hallway, but she pushed onward until she was near the bed.

With a heavy heart, Natasha makes her way to the bedside of a woman who lies there lifeless and unseeing. Her eyes, hollow sockets staring into nothingness…

Her eyes scanned the woman's body, taking in every detail of the horror.

The ribcage splayed open like a grotesque butterfly…

The heart and lungs are missing, leaving a gaping hole…

Natasha's eyes fell upon the woman's lower abdomen. Her stomach is slashed open, and the crimson depths reveal that something has been taken from within…

A baby, she could tell that it was a baby as the skin on the stomach of the woman was slightly stretched out and the umbilical cord splayed out on the bed.

A life that had just begun, now cruelly snuffed out.

Two lives cruelly snuffed out.

The redhead's gaze lingers on the woman's lifeless hand, before her eyes widen in horror. She recognizes that hand, and with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, she starts to panic.

Her heart pounds in her chest as she spots a manila folder beside the bed, within her grasp. With trembling hands, she snatches it up and flips it open, gasping as she scrolls through the contents.

“Y/N Y/L/N”

Natasha gasped in horror, she flips open the file, page after page of personal information and photographs spill out of the folder, painting a detailed portrait of your face and body. Each page she turns reveals more information about you, and with each turn, her heart drops further into the pit of her stomach.

This body that is lying in front of her with no eyes, ribcage splayed open, heart and lungs missing, stomach slashed open and a baby taken out of it…

Is your body and your child. Her child.

“No…”

“No, no, no,” she gasped, “Fuck no!” She threw the folder away and your body was already gone in the bed.

She immediately shot her head around when she heard a faint cry of a baby, but as soon as she turned she saw a shadow of a woman carrying a baby.

She knows it was you only by its figure…

Your voice reached her ears, filled with desperation as you called out to her.

“Natty, love? Can we talk?”

“Help us, Natasha.”

“Natasha, please talk to me.”

“Natasha!”

“Natasha! Wake up!”

“No!”

Natasha jolted awake, the loud call of her name immediately took her away from the depths of her dream. She panicked as she found herself surrounded by the darkness of your shared bedroom. Clint was holding her and she immediately ripped herself away from him, her movements sharp and agitated.

“Hey,” Clint's voice was gentle, a calming presence amidst the chaos of her thoughts. “Natasha, breathe,” he urged, his hand reaching out to rest on her shoulder but Natasha flinched, “You’re okay, everything is fine.”

“Where's Y/N?” Natasha demanded, her voice husky and rushed as she moved away from the bed ignoring her best friend's concern for her because clearly, nothing is fine.

“Nat,” Clint circled the bed to get to Natasha and she immediately got into defensive form.

“Are we really gonna do this again?” He asked, his hands raised in a placating gesture. And that's when the memories came rushing back, flooding her senses with a torrent of emotions. She remembered the weight of her gun in her hand, the cold metal pressed against the back of her best friend's head and the team trying to calm her down. The last thing she saw was your stretcher above her.

Natasha's breath hitched as the memories overwhelmed her, and she felt her legs buckle under her. She reached out to grab onto the bed, her legs weak and unsteady. She had come dangerously close to losing it.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

Natasha's voice shook as she apologized over and over again, her eyes filling with tears as she felt the weight of her emotions bearing down on her. She felt Clint's arms wrap around her once more, pulling her into a gentle embrace.

He tightened his grip on her, feeling the tremor that ran through her body. “Shh,” he whispered, rubbing small circles on her back with his hand. “It’s okay. You're fine, Nat. You're safe here.”

Natasha nodded, taking a deep shuddering breath as she tried to collect herself. “Where's Y/N?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. “Clint, where is she? I need to see her.” Her eyes pleaded with him, searching for answers.

Clint could see the desperation in her gaze and knew exactly what she needed, you.

“You'll see her alright?” he said, a small smile playing on his lips. “But right now I need you to rest.”

Natasha was about to refuse, she needs to see you now, but she knew better than to fight with her best friend. She needed to rest, to get her strength back before she gets to see you again. She nodded weakly, allowing Clint to help her up.

“You shower, get some fresh clothes and I’ll have some food over. After that you can see your girlfriend.”

⧗

Natasha worked diligently, her eyes alight with a soft and caring glow as she arranged everything on the bed. She had brought out all of your favorite blankets, each one softer and more comforting than the last. Her eyes landed on the strawberry plush, and her lips curved into a soft smile. She remembered how you had squealed with delight when she had won it for you at the basketball booth at a carnival.

“Hey Nat, you ready to go? Dr. Cho is waiting for you.”

Natasha startled at the sudden interruption, blinking as she tried to shake off her thoughts. “Oh, uh, yeah,” she said, her voice a little softer than usual. “Did she ask me to bring something? Does she want anything? Food? How's Y/N?” Natasha continuously asked as she put the blanket and pillow on a bag.

But Clint only muttered, “C’mon,” not wanting to break the news himself to her best friend. He’ll let Dr. Cho do the job on answering that.

Natasha felt her heart beat faster with each step as she and Clint made their way to the Medbay. She could feel her hands trembling, but she clenched them into fists at her sides, trying to keep her composure. As soon as she entered the medbay, she saw Dr. Cho and Wanda by your bedside. Her eyes immediately went to your unconscious form on the bed, her worry deepening. Why aren't you awake yet?

She felt Wanda's intense gaze on her and Natasha immediately put her face away from her direction, gripping the bag she brought. She couldn't shake off the feeling of discomfort of the witch’s presence.

Dr. Cho, as if reading the room, asked Wanda and Clint to give them privacy.

When the two left the medbay, Natasha finally allowed herself to breathe. The witch's intense gaze had made her uneasy, adding to her worry about you. She let out a long sigh of relief as the doors closed behind them, leaving her alone with Dr. Cho.

“How are you feeling, Romanoff?” Dr. Cho started.

“I’m fine. How is she?” Natasha immediately asked as she put the bag down at the side table of your bed.

Natasha's eyes lingered on your unconscious form, she carefully held your hands and a sudden flash of her dream returned to her mind.

Your body lying in front of her with no eyes, ribcage splayed open, heart and lungs missing, stomach slashed open and your baby taken out of it…

She immediately shut her eyes to remove the thought in her head, the urgency she felt in the dream now mirrored in the real world.

“Romanoff.”

Natasha's gaze snapped to Dr. Cho at the sound of her name, quickly trying to mask her panic with a cool, calm expression. She took a deep breath, her voice coming out steady and collected, “Yeah? H-how is she?” she asked once again.

“Y/N suffered a blow to the head, causing significant trauma. There's no way to predict when she'll regain consciousness...”

Natasha's brow pinched at Dr. Cho's words. The idea of you being unconscious, possibly for an extended period of time, weighed heavily on her. She searched for more information, “Are you saying she's in a coma?”

“A light one.” The doctor pointed out, correcting her.

“And the baby?”

Natasha's gaze shifted from your face and to the printed ultrasound image Dr. Cho handed her, she shakily reached out to get it and her other hand never leaving yours. Her features softened as she took in the small, blurred figure on the paper. “So that's our little one?” she murmurs, a touch of awe in her voice.

Dr. Cho nodded, smiling gently at Natasha's reaction. “Yes, that is your baby at 12 weeks. As you can see, the limbs are well-formed and the baby's major organs have started to develop…”

“Oh look at that! That's your baby Romanoff!”

“Romanoff, your baby is healthy and developing just like it should. All the organs, muscles, limbs and bones are in place.”

Natasha winced as Dr. Cho pointed out the tiny head, spine, and other features of the developing fetus to her, explaining that these details were visible at this stage of pregnancy. Natasha tries her best to listen attentively, but the memories are trying to get back in her head.

“Did you know she was pregnant?”

“You didn't know until now did you?”

“Oh, that's a shame.”

“You are a bad mother.”

“Romanoff, are you sure you're alright?” Dr. Cho asked, worry written all over her face as she noticed Natasha drifting off once again.

“Yeah,” she answered dismissively, “There's uhm uhh…a cut on her stomach—”

“It's all patched up now.” The doctor said reassuringly, not letting her finish.

“Can I uhm…can I have some time with Y/N alone?”

“Of course, whatever you need. I’ll leave you two now.” Dr. Cho tapped Natasha's shoulder for comfort as she retreated to the medbay.

Natasha swallowed thickly, her throat constricting as she finally, finally felt like she could breathe freely. It was just the two of you now and that's what she needed. The machines beeping in the background seemed to fade into the distance as Natasha's gaze locked onto your unconscious form.

She was acutely aware of the soft rise and fall of your chest as you slept, the gentle curve of your belly where your little bean settled.

“Detka, I need you to wake up now…” she said as she gently removed the blanket you had and replaced it with the ones she brought, which is your favorite one. She now pulled the strawberry plush and laid it beside your pillow.

“I need you to wake up so I can make it up to you.” Natasha gently brushed a strand of hair from your forehead.

A single tear slipped down her cheek as Natasha brought your hands to her lips, pressing a tender kiss before resting it gently on her cheek. She closed her eyes, taking in the warmth of your skin against hers before falling into slumber.

⧗

You slowly blinked your eyes open, your senses still groggy from whatever they put or injected in your body. Your left hand was wrapped around by a figure, holding it close as they slept sitting up right next to you on the bed.

Your right hand snatched the nasal cannula out of your nose and the IV lines that are connected to your forearm. Slowly, you pulled your left hand out of the tight hold of the figure sleeping beside your bed. You started to breathe hard, finding some support for you to stand up.

Natasha's eyes snapped open as she felt the bed movements and the warm hand she's holding is now out of her grasp.

“Baby? Hey…”

She felt alarmed hearing the machine beeping continuously and the oxygen out of you. You snatched everything that is connected to your body and now slowly moving away from the bed.

“Detka,” she called again, holding her hands out even though it's your back facing her.

But you didn't hear, there’s this loud thumping in your ears, you can feel as if someone is hammering your head, and the only thing you can see is a blur. Nothing is clear and you’re feeling numb.

You continued to move until your feet felt the cold tiled floor and that's when you lost consciousness for a second. You can only feel a warm body catching you, you locked eyes with the emerald ones before you feel your body taken out from her embrace.

⧗

Natasha paced back and forth outside the medbay, her mind racing as she waited for word about you. She was still reeling from the events that had led to this moment, and she couldn't shake the feeling of helplessness that had settled into her bones.

“You deserve it.” Wanda’s words cutting through the air like a knife. “You're the reason why she's there.”

“Whatever is happening to you right now, you deserve it.” She spat, Natasha now sat outside the medbay, her hands over her head as she faced the floor. “I am one blink away from invading your mind, to see what happened but I respect Y/N so much. You deserve everything that you feel right now, every guilt and shame. You deserve what's happening to you but my best friend doesn't deserve to be there!”

She could only bite her cheek, shutting her eyes as if she's not hearing the witch, but she could feel the heat of Wanda's words as they washed over her, stinging like a slap in the face.

Natasha and Wanda both turned their attention to Bruce as he stepped out of the medbay, the tension between them dissipating in an instant. Wanda took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down and Natasha immediately stood, her heart thumping on her chest wanting to hear about your condition.

“How is she?” The two redheads asked in unison, Wanda can only roll her eyes.

“She's awake now.”

Wanda didn't waste a second moving inside the medbay, walking past Natasha and Bruce.

“She's stable for now,” Dr. Cho informed Natasha who was left outside the medbay, “she just disassociated when she woke up earlier.”

Natasha nodded peeking over the doctor’s shoulder to get a sight of you but she can only see Wanda sitting beside your bed.

“Hey…how are you lyubov?” Wanda asked her fingers grazing yours.

“I feel weak,” you mumbled but gave the witch a soft smile, you managed to hold her hand that made Wanda sob. “Hey, I’m fine Wanda.”

She held your hand tightly and brought it to her cheek, “You should be, you really should be.” You hummed as you wiped the tears that streamed down to her face.

Natasha stood just outside the medbay entrance, her arms crossed over her chest as she watched you and Wanda interact. Your eyes flick towards her and you can read her lips muttering, “Hey,” to you.

“I want to rest for a bit.” You said, immediately avoiding Natasha and the witch noticed the tension between you and your girlfriend.

“Sure.” Wanda was about to stand to leave when you held your hands up, “Stay, Wanda. Please.”

Natasha could read the situation clearly, you didn't want her around. The realization hit her like a punch to the gut because all she wanted to do is to hold you and pepper you with kisses, take care of you. But she did notice what you want and it's not her, so she respectfully stepped back, retreating out of the medbay. The coldness in her chest had deepened into an ache, but she pushed it down as she always did.

For now, she’ll give you what you need but she will never stop trying and making it up to you.

⧗

Dr. Cho informed Natasha that you are now discharged and can leave the medbay anytime soon.

Right now, she's supposed to be sitting right next to you, apologizing or…begging for forgiveness, peppering you with kisses or cuddling you. But instead here she is walking alone to your shared room. Natasha had held back her tears as she walked towards the room, but the moment she stepped inside, the floodgates opened. She couldn't hold back any longer. She let out a choked sob and collapsed onto the floor, burying her face in her hands.

Suddenly, Natasha surged to her feet, fists clenched at her sides. She couldn't contain her anger and frustration to herself any longer. With a roar of rage, she began to pummel the walls of the room, punching it with all her strength.

Eventually, Natasha's frenzy subsided, and she steadied herself against the wall, forehead resting against its cool surface. Natasha took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. She closed her eyes and imagined herself in your embrace, feeling your arms wrapped around her, holding her down and keeping her grounded like you always do.

“You cannot be like this,” She whispered to herself. “You have a wife and a baby on the way to look up to. You cannot…you cannot be like this.” She repeated, as if trying to drill the words into her own brain.

Natasha slowly turned back, surveying the room with keen and puffy eyes. Without hesitation, she removed her jacket and top revealing her gray sports bra and started deep cleaning everything. Something that will occupy her for a while besides she doesn't want you to come back here with a messy and dirty room, though you always make sure that your shared bedroom is clean, both of you have tasks on what to do, on who's gonna do this or that, clean this or that. Actually it's you who gave her tasks, Natasha can be careless and a messy person at times but with you, it all changed.

Natasha started to take off the cover of the pillows and replaced them with fresh, clean ones from the closet. She then moved onto the bed sheets, pulling off the used ones.

After that Natasha moved to the bathroom, checking every corner, she pulled out the trash and some stuff scattered at the counter. When she opened the cabinet she was welcomed by a pregnancy test, not just one but three tests with two lines showing in each one.

Natasha picked the three, studying each one carefully before setting it back down again at the counter. She wondered if this was the thing you wanted to talk about before the mission. She clenched her jaw remembering how she treated you that night.

A call on the door pulled Natasha out of her thoughts. She retreated from the bathroom, taking a deep breath before opening it to reveal Clint standing on the other side.

“Hey, here's the flower you asked me to get.”

Natasha smiled as she took in the sight of the beautiful bouquet that Clint had brought for you. “I know you asked me to buy roses, the pink ones which is Y/N’s favorite but I saw these chrysanthemums and carnations. I bought this for Laura when she was pregnant with our Nathaniel. You should avoid-strong smelling flowers. Y/N’s sense of smell might be a little bit sensitive now.” Natasha listened intently as she had seen how Clint handled being a father of three. How he was able to protect her family while being an Avenger so might as well take her best friend’s every advice.

“You might wanna do some research. It's gonna be a lot but I know you two can do it.” She nodded solemnly. “Thanks, Clint.”

“Mood swings, Nat,” Clint chuckled as she warned Natasha, “It's gon’ be a hell of a ride.”

“Oh yeah it is, even though she wasn't pregnant yet it was a rollercoaster already.” She smirked remembering how she handled your mood swings during the course of your relationship.

“Oh Nat, now it's gonna be a whole new level.”

After a few more words of farewell, Natasha went back inside the room, and placed the flowers gently in a vase beside your shared bed. She filled the vase with water from the bathroom sink, letting it flow over each bloom as she arranged them.

Natasha settled on the couch after putting back the vase beside the bed. She put on some headphones as she lost herself to some music. An automatic vacuum hummed quietly in the background, gliding smoothly over the floor and picking up any debris.

Natasha indeed took Clint's advice, she was reading and researching about the changes that were happening to your body and what to expect during the course of the pregnancy. You're now in your 12th week and she read that during week 12 of pregnancy you’re wrapping up your first trimester and the odds of miscarriage are highest in the first trimester.

She took notes and made a mental list of things to expect.

“Your baby is only as big as a passion fruit but is growing and developing.” Natasha read to herself.

“Baby bump’s first appearance depending on the body type, food cravings, weird food cravings,” Natasha murmured, she continued, “Dizziness, mood swings, sore breast, heightened sense of smell,” She hummed, remembering her best friend's advice about sensitivity of your smell.

Natasha did a double-take as she read the last item on the list.

“Spike in sex drive?”

A knock on the door interrupted her researching and reading and she quickly put her headphones down, turning her attention towards the entrance.

She opened the door to see you standing there, a strawberry plush in your hand, and Bruce behind you carrying the bag of blankets she brought in the medbay. Her eyes widened slightly but she quickly composed herself, her expression softening as she took in your face, “Hey.”

You took in the sight of Natasha, your mind being in a haze. She is dressed in a gray sports bra and matching sweatpants, headphones clinging on her neck. Her arms were flexed like always and you could see the details of beads of sweat on her defined abs. Your breath hitched in your throat.

Natasha, noticing your gaze on her, quickly took the bag from Bruce. You walked past her already and went inside the bedroom.

“Dr. Cho will check in on her periodically.” Bruce informed the redhead.

“Thanks, Bruce.”

You sat at the bed slowly, noticing the new sheets of the bed and the flowers, the smell of it invading your nostrils. You caress the softness of the sheet while the strawberry plush sat on your thighs.

“Hey baby, how are you feeling?” Natasha asked as she closed the door. She put the bag down where you put your dirty laundry.

“Baby?” She called again, “You know you can't avoid me forever.”

“Yeah, like you did me the other night?” you replied with a dry tone.

A heavy silence fell between the two of you and Natasha bit her lower lip in contemplation. Without hesitation, she immediately removed the headphones from her neck and walked in your direction. She gently knelt in front of you, placing the plush beside you as she took both of your hands in hers. Her bright green eyes searched for yours.

“Baby,” she began, her voice gentle and soothing. “I'm sorry.” She paused, her thumbs rubbing soothing circles on the back of your hands. “Please, I was out of my mind that night,” her voice is becoming shaky this time. “It was the stupidest thing I ever did,” she continued, the regret evident in her expression. She swallowed hard, squeezing your hands gently. “Please, forgive me detka? I promise it won't happen again. I’ll take care of you, cook for you, buy you gifts, whatever you want baby, just—just forgive me.”

You actually stopped listening when she said “I’m sorry” all you could focus on was her arms untensing and tensing with each movement of her hands gently gripping your own. And the smell of the flowers were now gone as your girlfriend’s cologne, which was your favorite cologne of hers, started to envelop your senses. You don't know why you're being like this.

Natasha watched as you yawned, “I'm sleepy,” you slur.

“I uhh…alright baby,” She immediately let go of your hands and stood up, hesitating for a moment. She gently guides you as you lay down to your shared bed, putting the comforter all over your body and handing you the strawberry plush.

“Sleep tight detka, I’ll be here,” to her surprise, you hummed in response as you snuggled the strawberry plush close to you, a small sound that filled the air between the two of you and it made Natasha's heart jump. She took that as a good sign and she will for sure do anything to earn your forgiveness.

Next