#I'm not late for things
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there is a future for me out there where the only person who gets to make decisions about my schedule is me. this must be true, I must make it true, or I am going to have an aneurysm before I even hit 40.
#av speaks#you know what happens when i'm responsible for myself?#I'm not late for things#and I don't have to rely on people who have no general respect for time#and who try to condescendingly make it MY fault when they fuck up a schedule#please please I do not ask for much in live#I don't need to be rich I don't need a huge living space#just somewhere I can afford to live where the only person I have to be concerned about the consistency of#is myself
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[images ID: three images of a comic titled "one must imagine sisyphus happy" by druid-for-hire. it is a visual narrative beginning with someone with wrist pain (depicted by bright orange nerves) working at a drafting table. the reader is shown the same wrist as the person uses it for many everyday tasks such as carrying a grocery basket, pushing elevator buttons, typing, and doing dishes, until the pain dissolves all the panels into chaos. the person then performs several physical therapy exercises until the pain subsides. they sit back down at a desk with their laptop, sigh, and begin typing. a small spark of pain reappears. end id]
a fun little piece i made during the semester and submitted into our school comic anthology! (which you can buy at the Static Fish table at MoCCAFest in NYC ;] ). it's about artists and injury
#comic art#comics#original comic#chronic pain#carpal tunnel#tendonitis#my art#original#edit: what a delightful surprise to see this take off#this was made for class on very low fuel and very few thoughts and late at night and exhausted#the prompt was just a wordless narrative essay. three pages. and i had nothing and no ideas#and my head hurt and i was too tired to think about doing any of the like. research and mind mapping and ideating i'd do otherwise#but my arm hurt#so i decided to do a thing about arm hurty#i'm surprised to see so many people finding it resonating with them#but then again i shouldn't be. the universal lies in the specific#i should make more things about smaller stuff
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🍂 INPRNT (Prints) 🌻 Ko-fi (Stickers, zines)
I recently bought an art book on Caspar David Friedrich, whose emotional work stuck with me since I first saw it in a museum years ago. Over the course of a few weeks, I read about his life and at the same time did studies/interpretations of many pieces. It was a really enjoyable and fulfilling project; here's a good lot of them together :)
I was happy to see many people enjoyed Friedrich's work+my interpretations while posting them individually. It took way too long, but I FINALLY set up a print shop for some of these + some other pieces for those who expressed interest. Thank you so much!
#hi again :D im back after my bimonthly haitus#friedrich#caspar david friedrich#art#fantasy art#fantasy creatures#dragon#dragons#god i had so many issues trying to put together a print shop yall....#i'm glad it's finally done#i'll put a more print-focused advertisement together later#ty for the patience :"D#i've been working on a TON of stuff lately#I actually really like this setup-- where I quietly work on lots of things for months#and submit it in bulk over the course of a few weeks of activity#mentally a really nice method for me
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Call this the Whoopsie AU (it's barely an AU)
I mean. Narinder never explicitly SAID the Lamb would stay dead... :3c He probably should have been more specific. >:3c
Part Two:
Well. The Lamb tried, but...sorry, Nari, the crown hates you now. Shouldn't have been so quick to lend it out, I guess. :D
Aaaand Part Three:
'Isn't he just adorable?' -The Lamb, probably, while their followers smile and nod and internally scream at the brand new hellcat they now have to share living space with...
Anyway, nothing says 'Dead To Me' like following a person around to loudly remind them of how dead they are to you. Right? Right. Narinder's got this all figured out. <:]
#fanart#comics#cult of the lamb#cotl#narilamb#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#cotl yellow cat#this is my headcanon and i'm sticking to it#the lamb is a goofy stabby-babby goober and narinder is just a grumpy asshole who constantly velcroes onto them for hella snuggles#look - if you've been trapped in the afterlife void for over a thousand years - you are GONNA want a fuckton of snuggles#that's just science#the scribble comic i did with narinder and the yellow cat can technically work as part four i guess#only instead of the lamb Going Gremlin at the attempt to steal their other followers' devotion#they just comin' at him for Rad Cuddles OuO#someday i will draw these two with the proper height difference i imagine them having#today is not that day#today is also not the day i pin down exactly how long i want narinder's tail to be#(but i want it to be Very Long - just because)#there are inconsistencies here and there and probably some mistakes but i have been working on these for a week and i am So Tired guys#EDIT: haha yeah i forgot to color in narinder's fukken ears again#fuk :)#EDIT 2: i fixed it but it's probably too late at this point lmao#EDIT 3: THE LAMB'S FUKKEN HORNS JFC#i am not editing this thing anymore cuz i need sleep and the mistakes are already out there *dies of artist mortification*
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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happy halloween 👻 it's haunted house time again
#this also is a meme redraw#stranger things#stranger things fanart#robin and eddie make steve go first so they can hide behind him#oops accidentally didn't post anything for a year sorry about that#but another one of these and more art are on my patreon!! it's pretty much the only place i've managed to stay active on 😭#anyways i won't be watching season 5 so i'm stealing these characters from the show creators i've decided that these are OUR ocs now 🤝#sorry again for not posting anything life's been giving me a hard time lately but i'm trying to come back to tumblr!!
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this is how logic chess works right
#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#ace attorney#please ignore how unrendered this is I've been. honestly really down lately and struggling to focus on the things I actually need to do#so I'm making dumb art to kill the bad vibes!!! hopefully#much as I love 'everyone has a magic lawyer ability except edgeworth' jokes I also want to image that when he does logic chess it's like#a real place they go to#that whoever he's talking to just has to deal with#I'm proud of the Chess Halo I think that's one of the best artistic decisions I've made in my life
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are you fcking kidding me Arthur actually took Merlin to his ANNIVERSARY DATE with his WIFE.
#bbc merlin#merlin#arthur pendragon#guinevere#gwen merlin#merthur#“sorry honey but i can't go anywhere without my lover i mean idiot dollophead useless manservant”#i know i'm late to the party#but idgaf honestly#let me react to things 12 years later
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FORGETTABLE-AU (Page 48-52)
FOUND.
[BEGINNING] [PREVIOUS] [CONTINUE]
#THESE TOOK SO MUCH LONGER THAN EXPECTED OH MYGOD#I DID SO MANY DIFFERENT THINGS HERE#AND ALSO LIKE#I HAD TO GET TO THAT FINAL POINT AND I JUST COULDN'T ON 4 PAGES#I didn't translate the wingdings in some parts cause I wanted you all to feel the way Alphys is feeling lol#I'm sure some curious person will translate it#UHM#Nothing much else to add#I really like the composition of some of these panels#aughh#THIS TOOK SO LONG#BUT YAY IT'S FINALLY HERE SO SORRY IT'S LATE#ACTUAL TAGS NOW#undertale#forgettable-au#undertale au#gaster#undertale comic#papyrus is gaster#papyrus!gaster#alphys
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advocatus diaboli
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#karlach#tiefling#barbarian#bg3 fanart#bg3 karlach#bg3 art#userpharawee#stuff and things#ugh idk I'm struggling with my art a bit lately and it's. fcking annoying!!#so this clearly isn't finished (whatever that means)#but I don't hate how it looks yet#so I'm just quickly going to throw it out there before I can start to overthink myself into disliking it lmao#easing my way back into liking what and how I draw. slowly but surely#anyway. karlach!! I still love her
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truly the most dad-with-a-toddler-coded coups and hoshi have ever been
GOING SEVENTEEN - EP.117
#i know i'm a week late#things have been busy and uni is kicking my ass rn#but i loved this moment so much and have been thinking about it since i saw it#hoshi#scoups#kwon soonyoung#choi seungcheol#going seventeen#kpop#seventeen
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played DA2 for the first time and romanced the possessed bisexual poor little meow meow who's totally down for firebombing a walmart
#handers#dragon age#dragon age 2#dragon age anders#marian hawke#dragon age hawke#I FINALLY played through the entire thing! after so many times starting and then getting bored lol#I have genuine trouble deciding if I like Origins or Inquisition best but 2 is definitely on the bottom for me lol 🥲#but I do like Anders :)#I want more of this miserable little man#also I'm never sure anymore whether I wanna post single pictures or sets of them. idk#all the other DA stuff I've been drawing lately has been Origins stuff. or memes. so this doesn't really fit? so#seems like it should be by itself?#idk idk idk idk idk#anyway I've been doing lots of loose sketchy stuff and experimenting with brushes and it's been nice :)#trying my best to just...... be softer on myself#my art#description in alt text
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Council of lovefools.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang yanli#jiang cheng#They don't have an actual sleepover in this scene but the vibes were so sleepover coded...I had to get them cozied up.#Late night talks with friends and family are some of the best conversations.#My siblings and I used to have room sleepovers with each other (Actually an excuse to stay up and talk about runescape)#Currently my flatmates and I also have really great heart to hearts late into the night.#Pondering shit like 'What defines confidence?“ and ”Why are people terrified of letting themselves fall in love?"#All that aside; There is a really great conversation between JC and WWX here. They are so close and yet so far way from each other!#Fundamentally they *agree* about many things - but JC now has to play the role of someone more 'mature'.#His temper is reigned in and he had to take a more nuanced approach. Whereas WWX can be far more reactionary.#JC has changed to become someone more mature (or at least he is trying).#Contrast this attitude with the scene *right* after where WWX literally goes baby mode with JYL. Rolling around going “I'm Fwee years old”.#When children are hurt we comfort them with hugs and warm food and a laugh. It's not enough when you're an adult. It's not simple anymore.#WWX is stuck in the past when everyone else is shifting and moving on! It's a depression allegory (and just...actual depression)#But we also get to see how some things have stayed the same. They still bicker about soup. They still tease. They are still together.#They all care for each other very much but they are struggling against trauma and are not equipped to talk about it.#You can't really blame WWX for being so protective over JYL. But JC is right: “You don't have a say in who she likes.”#It may have started as an arranged marriage but *she* is *choosing* what her heart wants. JC sees that. WWX cannot.#The final act of love is letting go after all.
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earlier this year I started writing a comic about the siege perilous-grail quest situation after finally finishing the didot perceval, and it started circling around kay and perceval. kay as gatekeeper, taboo anxiety vs chivalry, and perceval not doing things "correctly," arthur's enduring affection for kay. that general area. also the horror of the grail quest itself.
this is comic is part of that narrative arc, so with THAT in mind: this is an abridged scene of a longer arc revolving around kay associating camelot with a cage, perceval's associations with jewelry and knighthood and the color red, and arthur's relationship with kay.
[some other scene context: perceval has injured his hand and can't participate in the tournaments, so he's craving some kind of fight. kay is disinterested in replying to this challenge, but he's not above reminding perceval of their first meeting. it's just mean enough in a weird-intimate kind of way that perceval's like, ok so we're doing the antagonistic version of court romance rituals. he picks up hunting because kay can't leave the castle.]
on the subtext of jewelry:
Clothes Make the Man: Parzival Dressed and Undressed, M.D. Amey
on the topic of kay, gatekeeping, and taboo anxiety:
Cei and the Arthurian Legend, Linda Gowans
the whole Red Knight/Perceval Shows Up In A Dead Man's Suit Of Armor transgression-situation (which kay references through red jewelry) mentioned is told in both de Troye's and Wolfram's Perceval narratives :)
anyway! to close out all this out: the transgressions. incredible! what is camelot but a bunch of transgressions stacked on top of each other tbh.
#i wanted to do some kind of siege perilous-grail quest horror comic after watching bresson's lancelot and i think#after several years. i figured out what kind of story i want it to be#like it no longer feels abstract i can see the story core and now i have to hack away at the clay to see if i can make a figure out of it#HEUGH. okay. i'm gonna wrap this up here. ive been Very Under The Weather lately in some kind of way#trying to get back in the swing of things. but augh. eugh. they need to invent a kind of body that doesnt fall to pieces#the minute it gets slightly less sun than usual like vitamin supplements only go so far. awful flesh prison experience#komiks tag#long post#knights knights knights!
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happy october :]
@scienceteamtober day 1: before the game
with lovely beautiful awesome forever character art by @winkreallyisntable goes CRAZY!!! full art below the cut.
#hlvrai#scienceteamtober#original things#3d renders#AHHH MY APOLOGIES TO SCIENCETEAMTOBER HOST POTIONBARREL BTW! I DID NOT SEE THEIR PIECE BEFORE I STARTED THIS...#it is beautiful to see similar concepts from different perspectives but STILL i hope this does not come across as nabbing your idea :wails:#also ignore the fact that gordon exclusively owns copies of kane and lynch 2 i thought it would be funny and it saved on time.#AND because i am a computers guy i have to ignore how much sense this doesn't make with my interpretation [if i'm taking hlvrai seriously]#of how the game shit works and happens#like bro they either would not exist yet or would not yet be installed u get me right#BUT THAT SAID LIKE!!!#i love the vibe of them Waiting. heaheahea. initially this was just gonna be benrey but then i got coda on board and it was silly time.#this was awesome to make. yay :]#yay moment#IGNORE THAT I AM . LATE IN MOST TIME ZONES. HAHAHAHA.
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the saturday-sunday night diabolical "life is falling apart"- to do list followed by a mad scramble
#in the middle of said mad scramble bc ohmygod I have 30+ things on that to do list that I'd like to get done by Tuesday at the very VERY#latest so like eeee it's a uhh something something#my sunday's have been starting on saturday evenings lately time's getting more condensed !! yikes#no one ask me when I'm planning on sleeping if I'm here drinking coffee at 1:30am I don't know I'll cross that bridge when I get to it#studyblr#bookblr#booklr#aesthetic#books#study#reading#read#book#studyspo#april 2024#2024
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