#I'm not in any physical danger and nobody is hurting anything but my feelings so don't worry about that aspect

[definitionsfading]

times continue to be kinda tough out here. my mother had me held captive in the car yesterday while we were in traffic and went on a political rant in order to harangue me for about 20 minutes, 10 of which I spent crying until my eyes were bloodshot. I'm being gaslit but I don't think she knows she's doing it; like there isn't any intent to viciously manipulate me for her own gain, she's just that convinced of her delusions and beliefs. she thinks she's right and everybody else is wrong.

much of the stuff she said, I cannot repeat here because it would be too painful and terrible to read. there was a lot of "Donald Trump was the Christian choice" stuff being thrown around, on and on it went. it's so weird because I was crying with true sorrow lmfao...it wasn't hysterical sobbing or incomprehensible blabbering. I don't often cry like that and can't think of another time where I did. it was just silent tears of absolute pain. my voice was calm. it was so strange.

she finally said "I can't sit here and watch all this crying, I won't keep on" and left me in the car in the grocery store parking lot 😂 it's funny in a way because I am one thousand percent, entirely, alone in my beliefs where I currently live. I am ALONE. nobody sides with me or agrees with me. I'm surrounded on all sides by people with violent beliefs and hatred in their heart, who think the hatred they feel is justice. it's crazy. part of me is accepting it simply because I know I can't do anything else in the short term.

[rawbin-hsr]

OMGGG Your latest smut fic is so amazing!!! The smut is absolutely delicious! but....the angst is breaking my heart so...could you please write a continuation or part two where the reader confronts Aventurine's dark internal thoughts and comforts them? A fic where they actually get him to believe that they love him for real, where they tell him that he's not a monster and that he wasn't ruining them.

You've got it ! (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

Aventurine x Reader

You treat Aventurine with more respect than he deserves. (Part 2)

Read part 1 here !

CW: dehumanisation (internal, thoughts Aventurine has of himself, referring to himself as a “monster”), lots of mentions of death, passively suicidal Aventurine, violent imagery (through metaphors, nobody is actually physically harmed), intrusive thoughts, Aventurine thinks kind of vicious things about you (refers to you as "stupid", "brainless", "naive" etc), cursing.

Lmk if there’s anything else I should warn about !!

Small note: Spoiler alert sorry, but you will not completely fix Aventurine in this fic. Making any real progress would take YEARS. The trauma he's gone through and his beliefs about his own humanity are EXTREMELY deep-seated, just one conversation would not be enough to make him truly believe he was loved. Super sorry since I'm sure that's not what you wanted (you specifically requested they "truly get him to believe that they love him for real", but this does still end on a hopeful note so I hope you won't be too disappointed (•ᴗ•,, ) )

Sometimes Aventurine gains enough clarity to remember where he stands. More importantly, he gains enough clarity to remember where you should stand. That is to say, as far away from him as possible. Unfortunately, you are never keen on doing that. 

In these moments of clarity, he distances himself. If you won’t do it, he has to. He needs to. He needs to even when he can feel the little pieces of him that you’ve managed to haphazardly glue together splinter into tiny shards again, even when it feels like every step away is a step walked on shattered glass. He can hardly be called a ‘person’ anyways, what does his suffering matter? He has already lost so many good things, why not add another loss to the tally?

He reads your texts, but he doesn’t respond. He hangs up on you the moment you call. By doing this, he makes sure you know he is alive. Both because he knows it would devastate you if you thought he died, but even more so to make sure you know he is intentionally ignoring you. He hopes at least some part of you hates him. He thinks part of him hates you.

But he can never stay away for long. Like a werewolf called by the full moon; like a vampire to blood; like a siren to a sailor. Thoughts of you always cloud his mind too much to do what is right. He reminds himself he will destroy you. He comes back anyways. He is too selfish not to. 

And you welcome him with open arms every time. Sure, sometimes you yell. Sometimes you berate him. Sometimes you cry. But he never does something beyond the bounds of what you’ll forgive, even though he tries to. You’re patient to a fault. Though he feels bad, he never takes it fully seriously, because you always hold him with so much sweetness, even when your words are filled with righteous anger and justified hurt. You always end it by reminding him that you love him. Something clenches in his chest; something that is not his heart, because he has none. He claims he is sorry, but you both know he will do this again. He always does. You know he will hurt you over and over, even if you don’t know the extent. You know he will test you, that he will ignore you, that he will cling to you and that he will taunt you. You don’t know he will drag his claws through you and tear you to ribbons; you don’t know he will sink his teeth into your neck and drink all your blood; you don’t know he will lure you to sea and drown you. You are never aware of the true danger you are in. 

Maybe that’s why you one day feel comfortable enough to corner the creature that has taken on the appearance of a lover. You sit down next to him in bed one evening after one of his many attempts to push you away, your expression grim. You look straight ahead, right into his dead eyes, unaware that a monster is towering over you. 

“We can’t go on like this,” you say. For one moment, the crushing relief and devastation threatens to consume him, and he’s not sure which of the feelings is stronger. For one moment he can’t breathe. 

He hacks our a laugh, his skin straining. Something is shifting beneath his flesh, something ugly and dangerous. He needs to leave and he needs to do it quickly. 

“You’re right, we can’t,” he agrees, his voice a lot more steady than he feels. He feels the urge to grab you and shake you until you pass out. He feels the urge to suck out your life force until your body is an empty husk. He feels the urge to slam your head into the bathroom sink in the next room over. He feels the urge to shoot himself in the head, because he does not want to do any of that. 

“I love you,” you say, unexpectedly. Or maybe it’s not unexpected. You always say such stupid, brainless things. (You say it with sweetness. The only sweetness he can offer in return is the sweetness of bacteria digesting rotting meat. Is the flesh his, or will it be yours?) He laughs again. 

“I thought we were breaking up,” he says. Smirking, as if it’s funny. (It isn’t.)

“No, we’re really not,” you say firmly. He snorts. 

“Maybe we should.”

You don’t answer. Instead, you come closer. 

Get away, he thinks. Run, you fucking idiot. 

You don’t have many flaws, but the ones you do have are insurmountably big. You are too forgiving, you are too kind, you are too selfless, you are too naive. You will kill yourself doing this one day. You will let him kill you.

Your arms wrap around him. He can’t help but relax. The thing lurking under his human disguise grows more restless. 

“I don’t hate you,” you say, unexpectedly. And this one really is unexpected, because what made you say that? Your arms squeeze around him tighter. “I thought I was being obvious enough about that, but you’re so bad at understanding it.”

The feeling he has is the same as the feeling he gets when he realises a deal is going awry. You are the highest risk stakes he has ever made a bet on: will he ruin you, or will you ruin him? What you could do to him is so much more serious than death. He knows that he is holding a losing hand. He doesn’t even know what he stands to win.

You kiss his neck. He shudders. 

“Why are you so scared of me?” you ask. 

Scared? He is not scared. What an outright laughable concept. Neither of you are scared, but if one of you was, it should be you, but you aren’t, for some reason.

“What gives you that idea?” he chuckles, but his voice is not as steady this time, and he can feel his smile slipping. (What is wrong with him? He doesn’t want to think about it. The answer is always ‘everything’.)

“Your hand is shaking.”

It is, but that is not because he is afraid. Fear is a human response, borne from the desire to live. It is instinctual. It means kicking and screaming, it means clawing your way out of hell for the chance to see another day, it means fighting for the life you don’t want to end. He cannot die, you see. Death cannot occur twice. Just because his body reacts, that does not necessarily mean he can truly fear any longer.

(Then again, maybe his reaction does not come from the thought of his death.)

“I’m not scared,” he says, and his voice sounds a lot weaker than he had expected. You pull him closer, cradling his head against the crook of your neck. His blood is pulsing too quickly.

“It would be okay if you were,” you murmur. “I know you don’t know how to be loved. That’s okay. I’ll teach you. You just have to let me.”

Squash. Slice. Tear.

Maybe you are the monster. He can feel your claws prying his chest open; he can feel your teeth dig into his flesh; he can feel something that is not air fill his lungs. The biggest difference between you and him is that he devours, while you give. You painfully shove something back into the cavity meant to contain his soul, you pump blood back into his system, and you fill whatever gaps are left in him with something that is first cold but quickly warms. 

(He realises, belatedly, that something is pumping inside his chest again. But it can’t be a heart, can it? He lost that so long ago.)

“I’ll kill you,” he manages through gritted teeth, claws digging into your shirt. It is not a threat. It is not a warning. It is just the truth.

“You think too much,” you admonish him. Your tone is as gentle as your words are cutting. “I wish you would trust me more. You’re so determined to ruin your own life, and I don’t like it.”

“That’s just how I am. Deal with it or leave.”

“I’ll deal with it, then.”

Like a werewolf called by the full moon; like a vampire to blood; like a siren to a sailor. He will destroy you. But you accept it. 

He has tried time and time again to push you away, but he is weak. So incorrigibly weak, and though your flaws are insurmountable, his are all-consuming. He is a monster in all the ways that matter. But you stubbornly will not leave despite that. 

(Maybe that makes him a little more willing to try to change his nature. Just a little. Just for you. If you will not leave anyways, maybe he could try to make his presence a little less torturous.)

“Just… please stop ignoring me,” you sigh, nuzzling into his hair. Tenderly, tenderly, tenderly, so tenderly it makes his skin crawl. Your claws are softly piercing into him and he is helpless, unable (unwilling) to fight back. “I can deal with everything else. I just hate it when you do that. I can’t keep going weeks without speaking to you. I know you have some kind of… weird ideas that I’d be better off without you, but that’s not true. I love you, and I love being around you. I can’t help you when you cut me off at every corner.”

Cut, slice, slash.

Something in him breaks. Something he knows cannot be salvaged. Something he knows you would not want to salvage. Something he is not sure if he wants to salvage either, now that it is broken anyways.

He breathes a shaky breath, his fingers — his fingers, not claws, not this time — digging into your back. He buries his face into the crook of your neck, and he does not feel the urge to bite down. Though his eyes feel wet, it would not be enough water to drown you. 

He knows your line of logic is wrong. He knows the fact remains unchanged: he is a monster of a man. He will ruin you. But maybe your presence sparks enough electricity to keep his heart pumping, just for a little while, and maybe he can wait until things actually start going downhill before he lets you go. Maybe he can remember how to be a human for a bit, maybe he can pretend he is. 

“I just… don’t want to do something I can’t take back,” he whispers. “Not with you. You’re the… the only good thing I have left. I don’t know what I’d do if I…”

“That’s sweet, but I’m not as weak as you think I am,” you reply. “I’ve held out this long, haven’t I? Put more faith in me.”

He smiles.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

---------------------------------------------------------

My inbox is open, feel free to send in asks or requests, I'd love to ramble about things <3 Also reblogs are EXTREMELY appreciated the final push I needed to finish this was from a very kind individual who reposted and analysed my writing I've been riding that high ever since they did that ily bro

[just-a-little-cellist]

Hey! I just discovered your account and I absolutely love your writing-I feel like you characterise everyone perfectly! I saw your requests were open so I was wondering if I could make one? Could you write either Fili or Kili (or both, separately, if you’re feeling up for it but don’t feel like you need to) being protective over the reader? Like maybe someone is being mean to them or they are being followed or something along those lines (maybe with she/her pronouns but they/them is also fine!). You can choose the format-I’m not picky about whether you do head canons or a one shot or anything else. Don’t worry if you don’t feel like writing this and lemme know if I’ve requested anything off limits! Have a wonderful day/night-imma just binge read a bunch of your posts👌

(aw thank you so much! I'm so glad you like my stuff :D I'm gonna do headcanons for this one so I hope you enjoy! I'm also in my Fili brainrot era so thank you for an excuse to indulge it)

(Kili x fem!reader, Fili x fem!reader - mentions of violence)

Kili:

Kili is a little impulsive in the way he protects you. Like if there's someone bothering you he will absolutely cause a scene.

If there is someone being mean to you and he overhears it, he'll wrap his arms around your waist from behind and asks them if there's a problem.

(He gets possessive in moments like these.)

It's not surprising how fast people get scared off by a scowling prince. As soon as he arrives there are lots of bowed heads and mumbled apologies before whoever was bothering you scampers away.

And if there's a man harassing you? Don't even bother trying to hold Kili back, it's pointless.

Any indication that you're being followed, sexually harassed or anything remotely threatening, he's already drawn his sword and marched towards them with fury on his face.

This is more for the threat than with intention to kill, but he will not hesitate to knock out whoever was scaring you.

As soon as they're gone, he immediately reverts back into the sweet, goofy dwarf you're used to. He triple checks that you're alright, that you're not hurt, and then will spoil you with affection for the rest of the day.

Fili:

Fili is much more toned back than his younger brother, but that doesn't mean he cares any less. He's just very conscious about escalating anything in case you get hurt.

When someone is being mean to you, while he does flash a quick glare in their direction, he will generally ignore them. He sidles up to you and presses his forehead to yours in greeting, with his hand on the small of your back, and makes sure to shower you with compliments as he guides you away from them.

And obviously being heir to the throne nobody would even think about saying anything to you again now that they know you're a couple.

If you're being harassed, Fili is angry but will not move to physical violence unless he's provoked.

He will subconsciously put himself between you and your harasser, with a hand on one of the many blades he keeps on his person. He doesn't draw it, but makes it obvious that he is armed.

He tells the person to leave, his voice dangerously quiet. Somehow it's scarier than if he was yelling.

Much like Kili, once he's checked that you're unharmed he spoils you for the rest of the day. He isn't usually massive on PDA - he enjoys it but has an image to uphold - but he will indulge you as much as you want after this event.

[magicamicitia]

Volume Two, Chapter 3

"We're supposed to be a team!"

Almost as if everyone had gotten altitude sickness, the air in the gymnasium felt desperately heavy. 

"What do you mean…?" Fluttershy’s voice trembled.

"It means," Kyubey enthusiastically shook its tail. "If your soul gem is shattered during a fight or lost in your daily life, I can't do much to assist you, but otherwise, no matter how deadly the injury, your physical bodies can be reconstructed eternally with magic!" 

"What in tarnation…" Applejack spoke up. "So you turned us into your personal scarecrows or somethin'?" 

"I suppose scare-witches would be more appropriate." He continued. "And speaking of them, I assume you now understand why collecting grief seeds is so important. It would be truly a shame if your bodies were damaged and you had no magic to spare. Besides, deadly situations like that rarely happen when you have enough power, so there's really no need to worry!"

"No need to worry?! You killed us! You killed us and then turned us into some kind of freakish reanimated magical corpses!" Rainbow Dash shouted. "I never agreed to any of this!"

"Well, maybe you should have asked." Kyubey rebutted.

"Why, you little…"

"No, we couldn’t." Twilight interrupted, finally speaking up. "I… can’t speak for the others, but when you offered me a contract, I was in no position to ask you about the specifics. You knew that, and you took advantage of it."

Her words sparked some kind of dreadful feeling in Sunset Shimmer.

One day, Twilight Sparkle was living her normal life… and the next, saving her from witches as a magical girl. It was so sudden, Sunset almost couldn’t believe what she was hearing now. 

What happened to Twilight that night that was so dangerous and so abrupt?

If she was at risk, why didn’t she ask her for help?

Did Twilight herself not fully trust Sunset yet?

That didn’t make sense. All this time, Sunset had been the one protecting her, so why…

Huh?

…What was she protecting her from, anyway?

Her head started to ache terribly, and she couldn’t help but let out a groan. 

"Oh, I'm sorry." Rainbow Dash said sarcastically. "Are we bothering Miss Shimmer with all our screaming? You got a headache? This must all be so hard on you."

"N-No, I…"

"Rainbow, stop it. This isn’t her fault." Twilight responded. 

"Isn’t her fault? She almost killed Fluttershy!" Rainbow screamed.

"I almost killed Fluttershy." She gestured at her own chest as she spoke. "Just like you, I didn’t know about any of this, and neither did Sunset. Nobody here had ill intentions. I just wanted you all to give her a chance.." 

"Why exactly would we give her a chance after stealing our things?" Rarity questioned.

"That’s what I said!" Sunset added. "Listen, Twi. They don’t like me, and they don’t have to. It’s not like I’ve done anything to deserve it."

"But you have!" She held Sunset’s hands within her own, and she could feel Twilight was trembling. "You’ve changed, I know that better than anyone! If you just had a chance to prove it… We’re supposed to be a team!"

Sunset let go of her friend. 

"No, Twi. You’re supposed to be a team. I’m not a magical girl." 

Twilight didn’t say anything, and didn’t move. She just stood there, staring wide-eyed at nothing.

This time, Pinkie spoke.

"Yeah. You aren’t a magical girl. So… maybe you should leave."

Sunset didn’t reply. As her footsteps faded away into the halls, Applejack turned to Twilight.

"You know, I just can’t understand why you insist so hard on defending that awful girl."

"She’s not awful." She replied quietly.

"She’s a bully, Twilight."

"She saved my life!" 

Her shout echoed throughout the room.

"I know… She doesn’t act the nicest, she pushed me away at first, too. But… She had her reasons! If you just try and…" 

"Reasons?!" Applejack scoffed. "I don’t give a darn tootin’ heck about her reasons, she hurt me and my friends! You know, If you're gonna keep this up, maybe…"

"I gave my life for her." professed Twilight. "When I made my wish, I gave up my soul. And I did it for her. Are you saying I died for someone I shouldn’t have?"

"I…" She started to say something, but her words failed her.

"You wished for something, too. If I told you that what you chose to die for was awful, how would you feel?"

The room went silent for a moment, until a frail voice stuttered,

"Twilight… We understand how you feel. But… We need time to forgive Sunset Shimmer."

"Fluttershy…" Twilight didn’t finish. She just gulped in her words and nodded.

Then, she mumbled another sentence.

"I’ll leave."

Nobody had told her to do so, but as she walked away, nobody asked her to stay. 

She headed to the nurse’s office. The school day was only halfway through, and even though a part of her felt tortured that she was essentially bailing on her studies, she just wanted to go home, because her heart felt heavy every second she spent in that place.

Like it poisoned her very soul.

That thought caused Twilight to jolt back to reality, and she quickly took out the soul gem in her bag.

It was much more tainted than the last time she’d checked.

Which meant she would have to go witch hunting soon.

Kyubey had left out another crucial detail about soul gems. A detail that the others didn’t seem to know, but she did.

She knew it all too well. 

What happens when your soul gem turns completely dark…

Earlier, Twilight said that she died for Sunset when she made her wish. But now, thinking about it again, that day…

If she hadn’t wished, who’s to say Sunset would have spared her, or even recognized her at all?

[adventuringblind]

Ghoulverse Headcannons

I've been getting a lot of interest in this idea and am planning on writing something here soon. Worldbuilding in this format tends to be tricky, so I thought I'd give y'all some more information!

If you could all give me some ideas of what you'd like to see or questions you might have, it would really help me out. I love this little universe, and I'm excited to share it!

I'm not begging (yes, I am). I'm just asking for some ideas or starting points, I guess. I might do driver headcannons as well because each one is so unique and have different quirks and things I'd like to expand on.

Also! If you want a better picture of how I picture the ghoul drivers, I've started tagging them specifically on my page.

Anything ghoulverse related: ghoulverse

Specific driver related: driversfullname.ghoulverse (e.g. oscarpiastri.ghoulverse)

If you've read my A03 fic (which has three chapters left and im sad about it), then you already know some of the background behind this. I've flushed out more things since then!

Headcannons under the cut!

All of them get self-conscious while looking human. They only look human when it's absolutely neccecary.

If a ghoul is mated to another ghoul, it's easier not to be overprotective because they are both terribly strong and can fend for themselves. On the other side, if a ghould is mated to a human, then beware! Scary guard dog privileges, litteral growling, territorial instincts, anything that could put you in danger is now suspect.

They don't nest because they don't need to. However, that doesn't mean they don't require their own space. Younger tribe memeber are capable of sharing a room with someone they are close to. Olders are more demanding and particularl about the spaces they feel comfortable it. Housemates are fine as long as they have their own room.

GROOMING! These monsters are actually just really big dogs. They growl and purr and whine and wrestle with each other for fun. They don't lick themselves clean. It's actually more intimate than that and a right reserved for a select few. Some ghouls have soft tails that need to be combed, and others have scales that get dry and need to be pulled off. Spikes fall off and grow back but need to be cleaned.

Horns, tails, and other features are each unique to the ghoul. Some have antler horns, and others have ram horns, etc. Aside from the royals, who all look unique still, they share similar traits nobody else has. They are the lucky few that have wings and crowned horns.

HORNS ARE SENSITIVE. They have the most nerve endings. No one gets to touch unless given very explicit permission. The most intimate gesture amongst the ghouls.

Specific abilities are unique to the ghouls aside from strength (breaking human bones and all).

Their senses are dialed up to 12 and makes for easy overstimulation. Some ghouls possess abilities based on a sense, like being able to hear at a 20. Ghouls with an upped sense of smell are the only ones that can decipher person specific scents and smell emotions.

Mates can smell each other in specific smells as well, but not in an emotional way. They just have a sixth sense for each other and know when something is going on, maybe a hint of pain or an extreme emotion of some kind that alerts the other. Not just when they are upset but also happy pangs.

Speaking of mating, it works like a soul mate. Once you meet them, it physically hurts to be without them. I've called it a 'mating call', but it sounds so corny that I might change it. (Suggestions appreciated)

Yes, bite marks are for mating. No, it doesn't work like ABO. Ghouls don't have scent glands and purposely bite each other on the clavicle. It satisfies instincts, helps that sixth sense, and protects each other. For humans, it's also a means of protection. Mated to a ghoul? You're off.limits now for any purpose.

Yes, they are still drivers in my head. They just keep it hidden. Their strength helps in certain areas.

Ghouls bleed black instead of red. Their blood is a tad bit thicker, and they don't need it to sustain life. It's a necessity for energy but can live without (albeit with great difficulty).

WEAKNESS TO FIRE. Fire rips them to pieces. Their skin burns quickly and takes hours to shed to get even a semblance of peace. Water doesn't help much, and burn cream helps side effects like itchiness but won't help heal the wound.

Burning horns is the worst kind of physical pain a ghoul can be in. Horns grow back, but it takes a long time. Ghoul often give each other a piece of their horn to symbolize affection and protection.

Tribes are interesting. I've not figured this out yet, but I'm getting there. Tribe bonds go deeper than blood. They are a secondary family to the immediate family. Some members don't have immediate family and the tribe acts as that for them.

Again, NOT ABO. It goes based on personality who falls naturally into what roles. Most ghouls hate doing any kind of hunting. It's up to the leaders to work out how they will provide for tribe members.

Okay, rant over.

Would love to see what y'all want to know more about! Send me questions or ideas! It makes me so happy to talk about it that I get jittery while typing!

[echantedtoon]

Demon Bride Ch23 Problems Solved Problems Made

Warning: Enmu gets slammed to the ground again and Akaza attempts to hit him.

(I ask everyone to be and thank you already for patience. Please remember it akes time to write and many things irl takes up time. Thank you for reading.)

"YOU TOUCHED A WOMAN WITH YOUR FILTHY HANDS!?" 

"YOU FILTHY FUCKING COCKROACH!!"

Usually when one of the Twelve Kizuki is yelling at someone it was a scary sight to see, two would've been very scary to anyone. And they would've most likely attacked Enmu if you hadn't thrown yourself between not just one but four demons that was baring fangs at one another- Or more accurately Akaza, Kyogai, and little Rui was glaring at Enmu with the hare of a thousand hellfires. However like you expected Enmu didn't give two dams about possibly being beaten up. Instead he was behind you with his head leaned against the top of your head and his hands grabbing your shoulders. An amused smile on his face. HOW DID YOU GET YOURSELF INTO THESE THINGS?! You just didn't feel like having four demons brawl in the mansion even if you disliked the one you currently had clinging to you.

''GET. YOUR. HANDS. OFF. MY. MOTHER!!" 

Enmu let out a coo before leaning harder on your head. "I'm afraid Y/n-chan is the only one who may put her hands on me.~"

You blatantly saw veins appear on Akaza's body, Kyogai's hand hovered over the drum on his right thigh, and Rui looked...oddly calm but with a frightening expression he had just before he wrapped up Enmu in spider's web and tossed him out the door. You obviously didn't want to get in trouble for Rui physically attacking a demon lord so you went out to make sure he was alright but when you opened the door, you were stunned to find none other than Akaza there pulling the threads apart with his fists to see what was going on while Kyogai was yelling at Enmu for the damage to his wall where Enmu made impact when Rui tossed him out. Akaza had just finished untying the struggling demon when Rui walked up behind you and demanded that you would come back inside away from the pervert that that laid his hands on you. 

ALL. HELL. BROKE. LOOSE.

You practically had to dive at Enmu and tackle him away from Akaza's fist hitting the floor and leaving a giant hole in the floor. Kyogai had started yelling at Akaza about the damage to his floor but then it sunk in what Rui said and then he directed his anger at Enmu and now you and Enmu were backed into a wall (literally) with three demons wanting to start a fight. However they wouldn't. Not while you stood close enough to be hit if they tried anything.

"NOBODY is doing ANYTHING!!," YOUR voice sternly said calmly faced with these demons. Staring Akaza in the eyes you didn't back down. "Akaza, stand down!"

"He touched you." He didn't even look at you. Instead his eyes stayed right on the smiling lower Moon.

"Yes. And it was for medical practice. The only time it wasn't was when he attempted to kiss me."

Maybe you shouldn't have said that because a GIANT vein popped on his forehead and his eyes nearly broke out bloodshot. " Y/n. Move."

"No. You'll try to kill him."

"I won't kill him. I'm not allowed to." Bones popped as his fists tightened. "But I can sure make him hurt."

''If you hurt him. I'll never forgive ANY of you." Finally his eyes turned to yours which glared right back. "If I want you to attack someone on my behalf then I'll say it, but clearly since Im putting myself in danger right now, I don't want you too. Now. All of you. STAND. DOWN."

Akaza despite your words took a step forward.

"I SAID I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!! CAN YOU LIVE WITH THAT?!"

Silence. Stone Cold. Dead silence. 

...Akaza stepped aside a bit and you saw himself forcibly relax. "..I will. But not for his sake-" 

"And you're not going to attack him once he leaves. I won't allow more fighting involving me while I'm here. And I'm going to be taking responsibility for my stupid mistakes. That being said...Akaza. I'm sorry I gave you the wrong impression when we first met." He flinched but you kept talking. You HAD to take the chance to fix this. No more misunderstandings! "I didn't know something like me offering a friendship could be taken out of context to you, but I still messed up. Akaza I didn't make any marriage offers to you. I'm sorry."

There. He could hear his whole world shattering into pieces that moment. However a coo also made you growl and look up to the demon that started this mess. 

"And that goes double for you! Don't think I would find you fond now that I've cleared one problem out of the way!" Enmu fell silent for a long moment but if it was possible pulled you gently closer to his beating chest. 

"I-...I w-was already informed about your misunderstandings for us." You were pulled back to Akaza who had reached a shaking hand out to grab your hand and you froze. His hand was shaking so badly that yours was also shivering. "I know you didn't mean to-...And that's alright but I want..too..." You blinked at him in shock. "...I promised to think about it and I did while I was gone. I still want you. And if you'll have me-" His other hand reached out to brush against your cheek." Soft. Warm. She was so pretty...So beautiful.  "I wish to start courting you. Because I love you. I can't explain it...But I do love you."

You were shocked into silence, mouth agape and when nothing came out his hand on your cheek slid along your face to gently close your mouth with a smile. His eyes briefly glancing at your lips. They looked as soft as rose petals.

"You know..." You finally spoke still stunned. "You're the third person who's confessed their love to me since I've been here. And I don't know how to take it right now."

"Who has confessed?"

Well one was the clingy person hugging you, and the other...Your eyes briefly glanced to Kyogai as he just stared at you..before sadly looking away. It would be better to keep that info to yourself. Actually Akaza would be the fourth to confess if you counted Kaigaku giving you his necklace but you'd deal with that headache when he got back. You were just glad you were able to get one problem cleared! Now there was only three others. Hantengu, Kaigaku, and Rui. While you still tried to talk sense into Rui, you could wait for Kaigaku to return and then clear the air from there. Then that would be another problem off your chest.

"It doesn't matter. What matters is that I fix the mistakes I caused starting here on out. And like I said, I don't know how I feel towards any of this."

Akaza nodded and slowly released your hands. "I understand but maybe I could help some how."

You weren't sure what Akaza could do but before you could say anything Kyogai spoke up. "Actually you can!" You both looked at him. He looked at Akaza. "Do you happen to know where Hantengu's sons are located?"

Akaza seemed confused by that part but nodded. "They're all very far from here searching through many children's homes and known orphan populations for a runaway child the Master wants. Why?"

"Hantengu seems to have gotten into his head that Y/n has accepted an arranged marriage between her and one of his sons."

"WHAT?!"

"It's a long story but don't worry. If they've all been on the other side of the Master's provinces then they wouldn't know yet. But could you perhaps locate Hantengu and explain it to him that Y/n didn't agree BEFORE his sons find out? You do know where he lives right?"

"Yes."

"Then you'll do it?"

"Absolutely." If it means less competition for Y/n's heart then he would gladly take on that responsibility. "He lives three days to the south from here. I have nothing important needing my attention so I can spare the time to make sure they're aware of the situation before it gets out of hand. Thank you for making me aware of this. I assure you that he'll understand the situation once I'm finished with him."

You sighed in relief. This was perfect! With Akaza helping you, you wouldn't have to worry about actually trying to track down this Hantengu and explaining everything to him. That was two problems solved, now that only left two others. But you'd worry about that later when Kaigaku eventually came back. 

"Ah. If you also need someone to take the boy off your hands, I can speak to the Master himself.~'' 

All of you paused before looking at Enmu, and you had to really wriggle yourself out of his grasp in order to look at him. And he still smiled through all of this. "What?"

"I don't have the equipment to examine blood myself so the Master was gracious enough to let me use his!~ And your blood is so beautiful might I add.~" You frowned. "The Master would know the perfect person to care for the child! After all he's the one who assigns all the tutors for his daughter.~"

"... Actually...That might actually work," Kyogai mused with a hum before nodding. "Alright." A claw pointed right at Enmu's face. "You ask the Master what he wishes to do with the boy and we'll do that. In the meantime I'll try to get him to un-imprint on Y/n." 

"Can you actually do that?"

"It's not unheard of but it'll take a while. Right Akaza?"... Kyogai turned. "Akaza, what are you doing?"

Akaza had magically disappeared from sight while the three of you were talking and had gone about calming Rui. By the time you three looked over, Akaza was already holding the small boy I'm his arms, cradling him and Rui was munching on something he pulled from a small bag. 

"Mother look!" He held up the small bag now calmer. "Mr. Akaza gave me candy!" He innocently fumbled with the bag. "I like him now."

"He's running a small fever," Akaza spoke a hand pressing to Rui's forehead. "Kyogai, have your healer look over him once I leave." Rui blinked as he was handed over to Kyogai.

"Oh are you leaving now?"

Akaza nodded. "If this needs to be resolved then I better get to Hantengu before his sons do, which means I'll need the head start." He paused before looking at you. "Y/n...I k-know it's selfish of me t-to ask this but.. could you at least think about what I said?"

...you nodded. "I will but I don't promise anything to o anyone."

"That is fair enough.'

You smiled at them all beautifully, lovely. "Thank you."

Hearts skipped a full beat for the three watching. Faces full of red. A thick floral scent making them woozy. However it was only one that spoke.

"Ah! There's that smell again!" Enmu smiled. "Begonias! Such a pretty scent for a pretty human.~"

"... Begonias? Are you dense?" Kyogai frowned at Enmu. "The only flower I smell is rose."

"Then you both need to have your  noses checked." Akaza rose a brow. "I smell neither begonia or rose. Amaryllis blooms is what's here."

You looked between them all confused. "What are you three talking about? I don't smell anything."

The three demons stared silently....before Enmu reached into his overcoat collar and pulled out a notepad and paper before opening it and proceeded to write in it.

"What are you doing you lunatic?"

"Taking notes on the human's strange condition. It seems the strange effect her blood has on us doesn't affect her at all, and even if it does it doesn't seem to be harmful to her and she can't detect whenever it's happening." He explained with a confused hum. "Although the effects are ... strange. It doesn't seem to be harmful to us either but it effects our sense of smell. Perhaps some kind of camouflage tactic? Maybe a calming tool?... Whatever it is, it seems to affect everyone differently. For example I smell nothing but begonias. Kyogai has roses and Akaza had amaryllis blooms. How strange?' He looked up at you. "Has anyone else experienced any strange floral scents from you?"

You blinked. "Uh... Kaigaku mentioned once that he thought my blood smelt like peach blossoms."

Enmu's brows shot up. "Really? He mentioned your blood specifically?" You nodded and he proceeded to write that down. "So it's not just me who connected the smells to your blood. I wonder if anyone else has experienced this."

"I have!" Rui's little hand went up gripping some more candy gaining everyone's attention. "But you're all wrong. Roses and peaches are dumb guesses. Mother smells like beautiful carnations." He then shoved the fistful of candy into his mouth chewing noisily.

"Carnations? That's an interesting take actually as carnations are widely accepted to symbolize motherhood." More scribbling as you stared stunned at Rui. "Before I leave Id like to ask a few of your servants of they also smelt anything strange like us. It might just be the key to what is going on in her body."

"Huh? Oh. Yes. You may ask Eri. She used to be the human's personal aid and I must summon her anyways to look over the boy." As if on cue he hit the drum on his stomach twice each letting out a BUM sound each time. "You can also ask Nagi who's currently serving her. But be sure that's the only thing you do!"

"You called me, my Lord." Immediately a servant appeared and bowed to him. 

"Yes. Tell Eri I want her to come here immediately."...He then eyed the cracks in the wall from Rui throwing Enmu and the hole Akaza had punched in the floor and sighed. "And tell Mayla to get some builders over here to repair all the damage. My home is not a fighting ring!" He shot Akaza a look.

"Oh...I apologize for the damage."

The servant bowed. "Of course. Will there be anything else?"

"Mother, I'm hungry. I want lunch."

"*Sigh* And bring food for the child and human from the kitchen."

The servant bowed and left leaving you all there. Akaza again apologized to Kyogai for the hole in the floor before also leaving, but not before coming back to give your hands one last squeeze before leaving. The next to leave was Enmu after you saw him speak to Eri and a few other servants writing all of it down into that notepad of his before he returned to you smiling.

"Well it seems like quite a mystery. Besides myself and four other specific demons, everyone else doesn't smell a specific flower."

"So ..they don't smell anything?"

"Oh no. They do. But it's totally different. You see everyone I spoke to agreed that you smell like flowers..But they can't tell me one specific TYPE of flower. To them it's just an indescribable floral scent that doesn't have any one specific flower where as myself and four others ONLY smell one kind of flower and for each of us it's different."

"So...I smell like flowers to all demons, but it's more of a field of flowers that they can't make out? Except for a few like you and Akaza that smells just one specific flower?"

"Now you're getting it! And for each of us it's different, but I haven't figured out how or why yet." 

You watched as he slipped the notepad back in his coat and lean over to grab his suitcase. "Then what will you do now?"

"Well..First I'm going to contact the families of the demon that Kyogai killed when they chased you in here. Perhaps something in their bodies are affecting you, but since their corpses were burnt, I can't take any direct samples from them. So I'll need the next best thing." He smiled wider. "I'll need to take blood samples from their closest family members and compare it to yours to see if there's any similarities. If there's nothing connecting you to them then we can rule out blood contamination by demon DNA. But first I need Kyogai to pull up their records to locate any family. "

"That sounds like a lot of work and just for me of all people. I'm not that important."

"Oh how wrong you are.~," he cooed and tilted his head, "And.." Teal eyes became half lidded with knowing. "I do want to genuinely help you, Y/n.~" He slightly bowed to you. "I shall do my very..."

He paused mouth open in a smile as two arms wrapped around his middle and pulled him against a warm body. Her body leaned against him in an embrace- THUD!! The suitcase dropped from his hand as his body froze. 

"I know this is asking a lot of work from you, and you can be... difficult, but I do appreciate the help you're giving me and I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you and everyone else. I promise to fix everything as soon as I can. Please don't stress yourself out on my part." You slowly let him go and stepped back watching his shocked face. And smiled. "But maybe just tone down the perverted nature a bit from now on."

"....No one had ever t-t-thanked me genuinely before." The shock melted away as he shivered and smiled genuinely. You blinked as a hand tucked under your chin to raise you head just a bit higher. Huh...when did his teal eyes suddenly get closer? "Do you know I also have a strange medical condition?~" He mumbled closer. "You make my heart beat faster.~" purple eyes widened as his face was five inches awa-

SLAM!!

.....You blinked......And looked at your feet.

The touch was gone. And so was Enmu- No. Enmu was still there but now he was laying at your feet laying face down on the floor as flat as a pancake. Behind him, one of his legs was slightly suspended in thin air, and wrapped around his ankle was a spider thread. You slowly followed the thread to where Rui was standing next to Kyogai and firmly held the thread in his hands.

"Do your business with the drum man and leave." Rui then held up the thread to Kyogai. "Here you go. I get extra food now right?"

Kyogai chuckled before gladly accepting the string just as Enmu looked over his shoulder. "I think I'll miss having this child around. Come along, Enmu. I'll get you the documents." He then turned and walked away dragging the other demon behind him

Enmu was quick to grab the suitcase as he was dragged away before smiling and waving at you. "Good bye, Y/n-chan.~ Parting is such sweet sorrow.~"

You stood there for a long moment before blinking and reaching a hand to slowly rub your face. Yep. You had too much to think about right now. Small footsteps ran up to you before someone small threw their arms around your legs. 

"I don't like him! Mother you best stay away! Come read me more stories instead."

You sighed and reached out to pat the top of his head. Whelp...At least most of your problems would be fixed now. Hopefully Akaza would be able to talk sense into Hantengu. Only time could tell.

-THREE DAYS LATER-

Loud footsteps approached a familiar but annoying door and a large fist knocked loudly on the wooden surface demanding an answer. A moment later footsteps approached and the door opened to a sniffling face.

"Akaza. What do you want here?"

A firm push was enough to get inside and walk his way inside without a fight. Of course a whimpering mess was there to greet him by the fireplace. 

"Hantengu."

"AAAAAAHHH HAHAAAAA!! NO NO!! NO MORE THINGS BEING BLAMED ON ME!!"

"Oh calm down. I didn't come here to drag you back to work. I came to just talk." A few more sobs and whimpers. Sigh. Ok. He'll be nice for her sake. "First of all, I want to congratulate you on your retirement and your sons for getting such a high positions."

"*Sniffle* Thank you."

"Secondly, I apologize for dropping I'm unannounced like this. But we need to talk."

"*Sob* It's alright."

A stern look. "Lastly, I need to let you know something serious. A few weeks ago, you had a girl agree to marry one of your four older sons. But you should know that the human woman didn't really agree to that. She didn't agree to any engagement and she didn't understand what you meant. So any engagement you thought about presenting to your sons is off limits. There will be none. Am I being clear enough to you?"

Silence.

.....A sniffle. "Too late, too late. There's no going b-back now."

"What are you talking about?"

"*Sob* They a-already want to be married. *Sniff* It's not M-My fault young men yearn for a married life."

"Well when they get here tell them it's off!"

"N-No. You don't u-u-understand. *Hic* Th-They are on their way to get her now."

"WHAT?! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?!"

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!! T-THREE DAYS AGO!! N-NOT MUCH TIME LEFT TO SAVE!!"

[countrymusiclover]

77 - The Horrific Merge

Part 78

Gemini Runaway

@icefrye19 @secretdreamlandmentality

Jo had been forced to take her magic back before Kai killed Liv. And there was supposed to be an eclipse tonight meaning the two twins would merge in place of Liv and Luke. Leading my girls through the streets Jaocb was with us. “I don’t understand why we don’t just use the spell we used on our daughters on the rest of our family we care about.”

“Because I don’t have our uncle’s leader's blood in my grasp anymore. In order for the transfer to take I need his specific blood.” I corrected my brother’s statement. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to save Jo, Liv and Luke. But I just couldn’t physically do it. I designed the spell to attack the specific curse on our bloodline with the coven.

He carried Andrea in his arm’s sighing until he noticed someone strolling in front of us. “I guess so. Uh Rae, we’ve got a problem.”

“What are you - what the hell do you want Kai?” I glanced in his direction seeing Kai strolling up to us whistling a tune.

He smirks, stopping in front of us. “Awe are these your kids. They’ll be cute to kill.”

“Invisquie.” I snapped my fingers where nobody else on the street could see us now. Knowing that we would probably be magic fighting in a few moments. “If you lay a hand on my kids I will skin you alive!”

Kai stepped forward bending down trying to act all nice to get the girls to come forward. “Awe I’m not going to hurt them, Rae Rae. Hey sweeties, do you want a present from your cousin Kai.”

“What kind of presents?” Missy asked moving forward where he touched her fingers with his making her wince when he attempted to siphon from her.

Alina takes my hand in hers, throwing him backwards on the concrete. “Phasmatos Motus!”

“Uh you little bitch. Phasmatos incendia.” He raised his hand trying to hurt her with fire. Yet nothing happens with the rest of us just looking at him. “What that’s not possible. I siphoned her magic. We share blood.”

Jaocb just smirked at him. “You can’t hurt any of us anymore, jerk.”

“What the hell did you do, cousin?” Kai growled, getting to his feet.

Tugging Missy back behind with Hope I let Alina keep standing between me and my brother. “Our parents might be related through blood, yes. But as far as being able to siphon or kill us. You have no power over us. Thanks to my binding spell.”

“You can’t do this, Phasmatos navaro pulsus sanguinox!” Kai tried again, more frustrated that nothing was working.

Alina smirked towards her second cousin launching his blood spell back at him. ““Reboundus!”

“Ah!” He collapsed onto the ground wincing up at us.

Walking towards him I let go of my daughter's hand leaving her standing by her uncle J. Bending on my knees to my cousin I growled in his face. “The next time you try to come after my family. I want you to remember this feeling. And I won’t let you kill Josette, Luke or Olivia ever!”

Turning on my heels we left him there heading to the restaurant we were going to before he found us. It was actually a nice evening until I saw Luke and Liv come inside with our uncle following them inside. “Why are they here, Rae?” Jacob asked knowing I was better with my vamp ears.

“There's nothing to figure out. This is what you were born to do.” Our uncle blabbered off.

Liv rolled her eyes. “No, dad. This is why Kai and Jo were born. We were just the backup plan you bred because you thought that your first batch had a design flaw.”

Joshua raised his voice. “Kai is a psychopath. An extremely dangerous one.”

Liv was trying to convince him to use her sister instead. “Dad, Jo can do this. She can win. All we're asking is that you give her a chance.”

Joshua reached for their hands. “I'm not asking you to do anything I haven't done myself.”

Liv scoffed at her father. “That's easy for you to say. You merged with your twin brother and you won. You didn't drop dead.”

Joshua attempted to make it sound better. “It doesn't work like that and you know it. One will absorb traits from the other. Both of your souls will unite into a new being.”

“A load of bull crap that the merge is a good thing. Let’s get out of here.” Paying for the bill we headed outside into the alleyway buying the girls all ice cream. Halting in my tracks we passed the back alleyway of the restaurant seeing the three standing outside looking at the stars.

“What are you doing out here?” Liv paused beside her twin asking their father.

Joshua turned back towards them smiling. “Just thinking about how proud I am of you and your brother. Built a good life for yourselves here.”

Luke asked his father. “Does that mean you'll think about what we asked?”

“At least you have sympathy to tell them about the curse this family has. You didn’t share the same emotion towards me and my brother. But maybe our mother was right to call you an asshole.” I strided up the group taking a bite out of my cookie dough ice cream.

Joshua turned slightly to us eyeing our daughters. “Rae. J, it’s nice to see you. Oh and are these your kids.”

“Yes. Now what do you want?” Jacob questioned him tugging his daughter against his leg, having the same suspicions that I already did.

He slowly bent down to be level with Alina, Missy and Hope. He sent them each a smile while I glared at my uncle. “I simply wanted to meet them and introduce myself. After all, I am their great uncle Joshua.”

“Mommy, says you’re mean to her.” Missy said licking her strawberry come.

Alina takes a step away from him. “That we shouldn’t trust you.”

“No, no sweet girls. She just is worried I would hurt you. But that’s not true at all. We share a history. A bloodline.” Joshua holds out his hands, one to each of them. “We're in this together. We're family.”

Hope steps around my leg seeing her sister's hand turning red meaning they were feeling his magic. She tilted her head to the side. “Mommy, is that supposed to happen?” She pointed to the lights flickering around us and the wind was picking up speed.

“Son of bitch, Rae. He’s-“ Jacob cut himself off.

Dropping my cone on the ground, my veins and fangs coming to the surface once I realized. “You bastard!”

Joshua starts the merge ceremony but he growls not be able to feel their twin connection in his veins. “Sanguinem desimilus, sanguinem generis fiantus…urgh why isn’t it working?”

Luke gasped. “You're merging them?”

Joshua grunted while Missy and Alina tried to pull away but he’s stronger than them. “Kai has been released. He's going after Jo. I can't let him get to her.”

Liv begged him. “Dad, stop!”

Luke shouted at him. “They’re just kids, dad. They are only six years old!”

“Sanguinem desimilus, sanguinem generis fiantus - argh Raelyn!” Uncle Joshua finally released their hands holding his head in agony. Missy and Alina rushed over to Jaocb, Hope and Andrea scared. Luke quickly ran of somewhere while Liv stayed with us but I couldn’t care right now.

Vamping him against the crate beside us he grunted sharply. Baring my teeth my hands were wrapped around his throat getting in his face. “You’re a bastard, uncle Joshua. You forced me and my brother to merge and when that didn’t work the way you wanted you came for my daughters!”

“I can’t let Kai merge with Jo. He will win and be the new leader. He will kill us all.” He grunted through my fingertips when I drew some blood from how tightly I held his neck.

Moving one hand to his chest I shoved my hand inside his chest holding his heart. “I may not be able to kill you because I don’t want the twins and Josette dead. But I will do so for this. Tell me, have you ever been skinned alive!”

“I can show you what is happening, Raelyn!” Joshua winced when my fingers tightened a little around his heart.

“And I’m just supposed to believe what you show me is the truth. Since you have such a good track record of telling the truth. I’d rather do it myself.”

Joshua moaned in pain when I ripped a cut open on his hand that was holding onto my forearm with my fangs drawing blood. “Ahhh!”

“Show me, uncle!” Sanguinem desimilus, Sanguinem generis flantes…Tillate ulaz tillate ulaz tillate ulaz. Tillate ulaz tillate ulaz tillate ulaz.” I chanted ripping into my own palm, shoving it over his bleeding hand doing the spell transfer of leader magic that would force me into his mind space.

Kai had taken Jo out into the middle of the park from what I could see when I mind dived to see what he saw. Jo grumbled to her twin. “Let's just get this over with.”

Kai cut his hand open. “So if this is just another setup, I'll rip something out more important than a spleen. Like a tongue or a heart. So, any closing remarks?”

“You're a parasite. You killed the people I loved, you shoved a hunting Knife in my gut. You destroyed my life. Now I'm gonna destroy yours.” Jo holds out her hand for Kai to cut.

Kai jerks it and cuts it. “I guess we'll see. Won't we?”

Jo took his other hand and began chanting. “Sanguinem desimilus, sanguinem generis fiantus.”

Jo and Kai then began chanting together. “Sanguinem desimilus, sanguinem generis fiantus.Sanguinem desimilus, sanguinem generis fiantus.” Until Jo fell backwards and I saw a new image flash through our minds.

Kai and Luke were chanting when I entered his mind again. “Sanguinem desimilus, sanguinem generis fiantus. Sanguinem desimilus-- “

Jo cried. “Luke, no!”

“Sanguinem generis fiantus. Sanguinem desimilus, sanguinem generis fiantus.” Luke and Kai's eyes both turn white.

Jo sobbed. “Luke! Stop!”

“Sanguinem desimilus, sanguinem generis fiantus. Sanguinem desimilus, sanguinem generis fiantus.” Kai and Luke fell backwards, unconscious with Jo crying out.

I dived out of my uncle's mind, drawing my other hand from his chest. I growled through tears stumbling away from him. Joshua dropped to his feet gasping for breath while he locked gazes with me after I had dropped his body from my grasp. “What has your brother done?….what have you done Raelyn? Why couldn’t I feel your daughter's magic, yours or your brothers!”

“Because I used your own spell against you. When you wanted your magic back so badly I had my daughters collect up your blood. Then I did an unlinking spell.” I snarled, clutching my hands into fists not caring about the blood on my right hand or the fact that my daughters were huddled behind their uncle Jacob.

Joshua sniffed through tears seeing the blood on his chest bleeding until he placed a hand over it healing the wound. “Kai will kill us all regardless of a spell that keeps your daughters from having to do the merge….”

“Urgh….hell no!” I winced holding a hand over my heart inside my chest being able to feel the leader magic that I had siphoned from my uncle was now disappearing somewhere else.

Joshua holds his hand out to Liv. “We have to leave. Now.”

Jacob threatened him. “She's not going anywhere with you.”

Joshua declared. “Luke is gone.” His gaze shifted to mine with a horrific look feeling what I had minutes ago.

Liv gasped looking between me and her father. “What? Rae, he can’t be serious.”

Clutching my eyes closed, the vision of Jacob collapsing in front of me flashed through my mind. Releasing my hands from fists I shook my head sniffing through tears. “Liv I, I wish it wasn’t true. But Luke…he’s…”

Joshua finished my train of thought, still terrified. “I can feel it. He merged with Kai and Kai won. Luke is gone.”

Liv began crying. “I don't believe you.”

Joshua grabs Liv's arm trying to drag her away from us. “We have to run, Olivia!”

Liv drew her arm back hugging onto Jacob. “I'm not going anywhere with you!” Joshua sent me a silent look running off into the darkness of night. Slowly walking up to Liv she collapsed against my body when I opened my arms just holding the poor girl. I would never wish the fate I had suffered on her. Now we had to accept that Kai was in charge….for now at least.

Comments really appreciated ❤️

[broken-clover]

20- Wonder

In another bizarre coincidence, I promise that I didn't know Super Mario Wonder was supposed to release today, the fact that this ended up the way that it did baffles me too. I did consider making this one Mario-centric to fit with the theme but admittedly I'm not super confident writing things for the mainline Mario series so I ultimately didn't go with that route.

Instead, I continue to dig around in my bag of weird fandom. I wanted to do something with The Suicide Squad because it's one of the few superhero movies I genuinely enjoy rewatching. How's that post go about seeing a character and knowing they're basically designed for you? Because that's pretty much Polka Dot Man for me. I'm still mad about it.

Content warnings for suicidal ideation, pretty much the same as canon. There is also a bit of alcohol and vomiting. I promise this does get happy, it's just that this is an R-rated movie full of fucked up characters

-

Corto Maltese was a beautiful place. The more time he spent on it, the more obvious that became. And the more obvious it became, the more he desperately tried to loathe it. Because he wasn’t supposed to have even made it that far.

Sheltered and stupid were two different things. Mother might have done her best to keep them all under as tight a watch as possible, but it hadn’t left Abner naive. The mortal dangers of Task Force X weren’t hypothetical. Most of them were fully expected to die and any survivors were just going to be tossed back into another, equally dangerous deathmarch later. It was exactly why he’d signed up in the first place. Of course he wasn’t going to make it out alive, he couldn’t even if he wanted to. It would be much faster than placing his hopes on a prison riot or slowly waiting for his disease to do its job.

Unfortunately, several things were getting in the way of his death wish. If there was one thing in the world he feared more than anything, it was being a disappointment. Being a disappointment was simply asking for mother and her friends to strap you down on the worktable until she found a way to fix it, to make it all better. If he so much as thought about abandoning the mission, mother’s face swam before him with a scowl. It could have been so easy, just run away until Waller decided it was too much and had the bomb in his neck detonated. It wouldn’t have even hurt. The thought of being a disappointment would have hurt more than any physical injury ever could.

Beyond that, it seemed his team- team, what an odd word for a group that could barely stand each other- were almost as lopsided in the head as he was. Nobody liked him, obviously, but they were often too busy bickering or getting distracted with their own business to hate him enough to just kill him and save them all a lot of trouble. Bloodsport and Peacemaker especially, those two had seemed so promising, but their constant bickering meant neither of them had even attempted to shoot him yet. King Shark wasn’t out of the question, but things weren’t looking too good on that front, either.

And, thirdly…the longer he was someplace beyond the sterile walls of S.T.A.R. labs or the high concrete walls of Belle Reve, the more he had started feeling emotions other than deep, all-consuming dread.

It frightened him. There was safety in being certain, even if that certainty was that nothing would ever get better. That he would never be anything more than a lab rat or a pawn to push around. Hadn’t he been tormented enough? What had he done to deserve it? Why did the universe have to torture him with hope?

It had been such a small thing at first, tumbling over itself to become an avalanching snowball. All he had done was his usual nighttime routine, expelling the dots that had built up across the day before they started to burn under his skin. When he’d sat back on his haunches after nearly puking his guts out, the nearby greenery had caught his sight. It was so mundane, so normal-looking, so…lovely. Vibrant, waxy green leaves that shone even in the dim light. Nothing like polished metal or unbending stone. In a moment of weakness, he’d allowed himself to touch it, and a sparkle of awe settled itself in his chest as his fingers traced the swooping branches.

He kept trying to step on it, but that little twinkle just wouldn’t die. More distractions kept getting in the way. More little things that stuck out to him. The bugs that hovered around the lights at night. The distant sound of water lapping against the island shore. Music floating out from the radios at Soria’s camp. The rough yet strangely cozy texture of the seats in Milton’s van.

While the others conversed through the ride to the bar, Abner watched the city go by from the bus windows. So many people doing their mundane little tasks up and down the streets. He wondered what it felt like. If he would ever get the chance to do something so simple.

(Why would he even ask that? Why would he entertain the thought that he ever would? Why, for even just a second, did he hope…?)

The ruckus inside the building hurt unlike anything else ever had. It compelled him. Likewise for the tiny glass of alcohol that Peacemaker had ordered for everyone at the table. He knew what alcohol was, but had never tried it for himself. People seemed awful fond of it, though, so he expected it had to be interesting.

Oh.

Horrible. It was horrible!

How fantastic!

It stank, like the bodies around him did. It burned as it went down his throat. Ratcatcher 2 offered him her unfinished shot, and he took it. Someone else slid him a new, full one. He drank and drank until whoever it was finally stopped putting more alcohol in front of him. Which was well enough, because his vision had started to go fuzzy, and it would have been a struggle to hold the glass without dropping it.

They were supposed to be keeping an eye out for Grieves, but the longer the night went on, the more they started to get distracted by the goings-on. Flagg was flirting with somebody across the way, and Peacemaker and Ratcatcher 2 had gotten up to join the crowd on the dance floor. Abner had joined them briefly upon the latter’s insistence, but quickly grew too dizzy from all the lights and spinning and excused himself.

At some point, after a long, slow blink, he’d opened his eyes to find himself with his knees pressing against tile and his head dangling above a toilet. He contemplated the situation momentarily before his stomach decided to empty itself. Thankfully, there were only a few glowing dots mixed into the bile and secondhand alcohol, enough to fizzle but not to eat right through the bowl.

It was a small relief, as he immediately puked again. Alright. Alcohol wasn’t quite as fun as people made it look.

Something behind him squeaked, in the high-pitched way animals did. Sure enough, when he had enough energy to turn his head and not immediately get Dizzy again, a rat had scuttled under the stall door to stare at him.

“Huh?” He squinted through the blurry vision. He recognized this one, didn’t he?

Something knocked on the bathroom door thrice, then it squealed open. “Abner? Are you in here?”

“Rat-” he coughed on his own spit. “Ratcatcher 2? Wuh- why are you here? Isn’t this the men’s room?”

“Sebastian said you got stuck. The others were busy, so I thought I should check to make sure you were okay.”

It was bizarre to consider. Someone cared enough to do that?

He let the rat crawl up his back to unlatch the swinging door. The girl approached him, and the look of concern on her face was as genuine as her tone. “Are you alright?” She asked, brow furrowing. “You don’t look too good. Should I get Robert?”

Abner grinned, looking like death warmed over yet never feeling more alive. “I'm just wonderful.”

That little sparkle wasn’t going to die anytime soon, not like this. But more and more of him was starting to be okay with that.

[antiradqueer]

Dunno if this is the right place to ask this, but I need some advice.

So there's this guy in an online writing group I was previously in that writes straight-up, really bad CSA material on AO3, and no matter how much I try to tell other people in the group what he's doing, nobody believes me or fucking does anything because "aw, you've got it all wrong, he's a great guy he's just going through some stuff, and it's not like it's real anyway."

He is not just "going through some stuff", he's a 30-something self-admitted pedophile who assaulted his own teenaged sister and almost assaulted his own child niece, and feels zero shame or guilt about any of it. I don't know who he is offline so it's not like I can contact the police, but anyone who interacts with this guy regularly and considers him harmless has a right to know he's really, really not. Which is why I'm sending you this, in the hope that you might know a way for me to get the word out about him without having to post on my own blog and have him and his friends come and harass me for "making shit up".

The only reason I even dug around and found out what he was doing is because some of the stuff he said reminded me of the man who hurt me as a child, and there's no mistaking that once you know what it sounds like. I am NOT "making shit up".

first of all, I believe you. I want to put this first.

I don't have the best advice ever, but if you know he did those things, you must have proof in some way? (/genq) screenshots, audios, etc? I'm talking about the rl assault, the AO3 content prooves itself of course.

I understand you don't want to call him out on your main blog, but maybe you could make an entirely seperate Blog (like, a seperate main, not a side blog) and post proof there?

unfortunately, depending on where you live, fictional content dealing with CP doesn't have to be explicitely illegal - I'm not from the US and Idk if you are, but just as an example, from what I understand: fictional CP is not covered by federal law in the US (feel free to correct me on this!). So, while I very much agree that what he does on AO3 is not okay, it doesn't have to be something you can hold against him legally.

but honestly, my biggest advice would be to distance yourself from him, his friends and that group entirely. sounds like a very toxic place, enabling harmful behaviour and I don't want to imagine what could happen there. stay safe anon!

for real, always remember, your own safety comes first. always. and this goes for everyone! if you feel like something is putting you in physical danger, like it takes too much of a toll on your mental health or is otherwise harmful - take care of yourself <33

[crackedramblings]

Notes from 4.4.24

Do I have anything to say? I have been awake for hours. Sitting here in front of my laptop, playing computer games, trying to think if I have anything to say.

The energy of yesterday, whatever flowed through me, was fierce. But here I still am today, safe in my hidey hole. Nothing has changed. Except maybe I'll be a tick more likely to tell people what I really think. They'll just call me a Karen if I do. Or menopausal. So what has changed?

My body is still a mess. It runs, it keeps going. I eat and drink and it moves and does what it needs to to keep me breathing. But something hurts, all the time. There is a persistent pain in my gut that almost never goes completely away. Even when I feel this fiery energy like yesterday's that pain is always somewhere inside me, always dragging me down. Just enough. Just enough to keep me bound. I've begged, pleaded, bargained with my HS to give me a healthy digestive system. I've gone without eating, I've given up so many things. Had a major organ removed. And still, the pain remains. During my QHHT session HS blamed it all on an emotion from childhood. But I've done the work. Cleared the emotions. The pain is still there. It won't stop.

So what does it all mean? I waver between grim determination that I will resolve this, and the knowledge that I never will and I will die this way. All the fierce, cracked, powerful energy in the world can't or won't resolve my physical issues. I'm cracked, all right, in body and in soul.

I dreamed about water. I was in a large group of people, and the streets had flooded, and we were being carried along in the water. Somehow nobody was hurt, although there were some who were in danger of getting too cold and developing hypothermia. I felt no fear, in the dream. It was just something that was happening. And I was observing it.

Is there any common thread between my dreams of being carried along in a wave of water and my physical ailments and my desire to embody my power? I don't know. I'm being human again, trying to find patterns where perhaps none exist. Perhaps I just need to observe myself and stop trying to find a reason for everything. Yesterday I was ready to take on the world. Today I'm just trying to find a reason to stay here. Why do I keep staying here? I keep coming back to this question and I keep thinking I must want to be here. I must want this nonstop cycle of waking and sleeping and eating and being in pain and waiting for my body to stop hurting. And I'm back again to the thought that I truly am psycho. Another cycle. Sometimes I'm strong and powerful and sometimes I'm psycho and pathetic.

I don't know anything. I just don't. I'm just living energies moment by moment. The analysis is extra, I guess.

[angstfactory]

"Yeah, well, maybe that's the case for you," he returned, petulantly. "But I don't gotta stay here, waitin' for shit to just come n' happen." Jesse didn't care to listen to Kai's reasonableness as it would only hinder his decision to get the heck out of dodge. Hearing how there was no place he could go and hide from the supernatural, wasn't helping the cause.

Jesse shook his head, deciding to busy himself with tidying up the plants he had removed thus far from his truck. He scooped them into piles, figuring he would need to bag them up and toss them. "I don't fuckin' hate you," he muttered, more to himself. Truly, it was complicated. Sometimes, he certainly would probably say and feel so. But if that was true, then how was he able to have lived there for as long as he did? To have the people in his life currently, that he had? Those, especially, that he knew were not like him? Like Kai. If he hated them, he wouldn't have stayed there and interacted, right? He would have pissed off a long time ago if that was the case. Jesse was, however, afraid of them. Not only had his sister possibly been taken and lost to one, but now he too had gotten physically assaulted. He could have been killed, easily! And experiencing all of that just shook the male to his core, at how fragile his own life suddenly seemed.

"I know shit, man," he huffed, snatching a plastic bag up and starting to shovel the loose vegetation inside. "The second I piss you off, what happens? I'm a fuckin' nobody to you," he scowled briefly in Kai's direction, "who showed in town what, a year ago? You expect me to trust that just cause we've gotten along a few times, that means I'm exempt from you fuckin' doing whatever the fuck, the second you get tired of my shit?" Jesse didn't kid himself, he knew eventually he wound up screwing everything up as he usually did. Like now, he was screwing this all up, too. But that was Jesse-- the screw up, they all knew it. The point he made though, was that any one of them could be unpredictable-- not even just the supernatural, but all of them. There was no telling, truly, how anyone would react, it was random and anything was possible. But the supernatural would be far more dangerous.

Like Aisley, for example. He would have bet money she'd never attack him. And sure, they could excuse the festival night -- maybe -- because that hadn't been her in her right mind. But what about the time before that? When it had been her? When she had been fully conscious of her anger and upset and couldn't even control herself? She wound up harming herself only that day, but he could have easily become a casualty, too. That was what he meant.

"And I appreciate that," Jesse angrily tied up the bag once it was full, "but I'm pretty sure there's nothing to find at this point." Inside, it hurt to even say this but it'd been something the man had tried to avoid for some time now. And it was high time, as Kai said, to stop turning a blind eye to the truth. It'd been over fifteen years and he hadn't seen hide nor hair of her. Not a fucking peep. He'd held onto that stupid shred of hope that one day, they might be reunited and catch up on everything they missed. That was stupid, though. He should have been preparing himself for the worst outcome, instead. So he wouldn't have been so messed up like this.

"Have you ever considered the fact that maybe turning a blind eye to it is what fucks you up the most? Sure, you can try and fucking ignore it and act like it's not there and hope that it goes away, but it's not fucking going anywhere. This is the fucked up world we live in, there's no hiding from it, there's no running from it." The way Jesse was talking to him felt like he was being accused of something that he had no real control over. Kai couldn't help the family he was born into, he didn't choose to be a witch. It was just something he was, something he had always been. He hadn't had any choice in the matter, and he certainly wasn't going to apologize for it.

"No, I'm not gonna fucking lie to you. But honestly, no matter what I say it's gonna be fucking wrong in your eyes, right? Because I'm one of them. One of those fucking things you hate so much." Despite what Kai was saying, his tone wasn't defensive, it just sounded tired. "I'm not your fucking enemy, Jesse, and you fucking know that."

Kai was quiet as Jesse continued to go off, as much as he loved to argue, he knew when there was no point. Jesse wasn't going to care about anything he had to say, so he wasn't going to bother anymore. That was until Jesse started throwing blame around. "All I've done is offer to help you fucking find her, so don't try and pin this shit on me." There was a tingling feeling in his fingertips, and Kai quickly put his hands in his pockets. "But, sure, go off. Whatever."

[casspurrjoybell-29]

Healing Ties - Chapter 17 - Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*

They finished breakfast with Lucas, gathered their belongings and started off on a long day's walk to their final destination.

As they left, Yore noticed Fanner kept glancing around.

"Are you looking for someone?" Yore asked.

"Oh, uh, no. I mean... yes, I suppose so, actually. I haven't seen Cookie at all this morning."

"I can do a quick run and try to track her down if you like but she's probably down in the mines and I can't do tunnels."

"Oh because of the..." Fanner shook his head. "No, it's okay. It doesn't really matter."

"You know, I'm still surprised how quickly you took to her. It takes most recently freed mages a little while to even adjust to something like me."

"If I'm honest, I liked the attention, even if she only liked me because of the emotional energy I give out. There is nothing more typical of a Companion than being desperate for attention."

Yore laughed.

"Yes but they're not normally that self aware about it. At least not so early on."

"Hmm."

"I get the feeling this isn't the beginning of your journey away from being a Companion, though. Lucas mentioned that you told him that the people you were with before this hurt you routinely."

"Oh, um. Yes."

Fanner picked at a loose thread on the shirt Lucas had given him.

He seemed determined not to look at Yore.

"Was he not supposed to tell me that?"

Fanner shrugged.

"I didn't ask him not to."

"I think he thought that it was important I know, given that I'd already unintentionally put you in a particularly distressing position out of ignorance of your experiences. I understand if you'd rather he hadn't, though."

"No, it's okay. I would just rather not talk about it. At least not in detail. But you are right. I'm already used to the idea of not being a Companion."

"How do you feel about that?"

"Well, I wasn't terribly good at being a Companion, so I suppose it's no real loss. Though I'm not sure I'm much good at anything else, either."

"You're good at giving massages."

"I am."

Yore smiled.

It was good to hear him have confidence in himself in at least one thing.

The only other thing he seemed to like about himself was his physical appearance.

Considering his training there were almost certainly some awful things mixed up in that but there was no denying he was handsome.

He had the kind of good looks that made Yore want to reach out and touch him when he looked at him sometimes.

Not even really in a sexual way.

He was just... drawn to him.

He'd met other Companions, of course... Lucas was one by breeding and though they looked similar to Fanner they had never triggered quite the same feelings in him.

Perhaps it had more to do with the circumstances under which they'd met and the protective role Yore had taken on.

They reached the border of the dwarves' territory and stopped for a quick lunch, then continued on down the barely existent dirt track through the territory they called the swamp lands.

The part of it they were walking through wasn't actually part of the swamp, which was a good thing because the swamp was extremely dangerous.

The swamp bordered the far edge of the territory and ensured nobody passed through.

Yore's hearing wasn't as good as it used to be and it had never been fantastic in this form but he was becoming more and more convinced that they were being followed.

He couldn't smell anything over the distinct odor of the swamp and it had so far stayed out of sight but he was certain he wasn't imagining things.

Yore held a hand up to signal for Fanner to stop walking and calmly put the bag down.

"Something's following us. I'm going to take my clothes off in case I need to shift quickly."

Yore took his shoes off, tied the laces together and slung them over his neck.

"Whatever I tell you to do. For some things I might want you to run so that you're out of the way of any danger. Other things might want to separate us or might not be a big enough threat for you to run away, so you're better off staying nearby."

Fanner nodded.

"Okay, um. Yes. How will I find you again if I run away?"

"I'll find you, like I did last time you ran away. I'm a wolf, remember? Just run until you feel safe, hunker down and I'll come and find you. If I tell you to run."

Fanner's lips moved, silently repeating the words of the last sentence Yore had said back to himself as though he were afraid he would forget the instructions.

He nodded but he still looked unsure of himself.

Yore was just shoving his pants into the bag along with the rest of his clothes when he saw something leap from one tree to another closer to them from the corner of his eye.

It was fast and agile but definitely smaller than he was.

He reached his arm out to guide Fanner behind him.

Something leapt from the tree and Yore started to move but his brain caught up with his eyes by the time it hit the ground and he let out a breath of relief.

"Cookie," Fanner exclaimed as he moved out from behind Yore. "Why were you hiding, Cookie? You scared us."

"Maybe that was the point," Yore murmured as he set the bag down and prepared to get his clothes back out.

"Oh, is my passive fear not good enough for you anymore, Cookie? Because it's more than enough for me, thank you very much."

"No wonder I couldn't smell anything. It's probably too subtle for you to notice but she always smells a bit swampy. This is probably where she came from."

"Aw, you're the cutest swamp monster, Cookie," Fanner said as he patted her head.

It made a gross tacky sound.

Yore smiled as Cookie butted her head against Fanner's stomach, playfully pushing him backwards as she chittered.

It was good to see Fanner relaxing and opening up a bit.

He had heard pets could be good for that, although Cookie was admittedly a rather unconventional choice.

As Yore watched them, his smile slowly morphed into a frown.

Cookie wasn't just playfully butting Fanner with her head.

She was intentionally pushing him backwards, away from Yore.

Fanner would try to get around her to come back and she would block his path and push him back more.

Yore cautiously moved towards them but once he was closer it became clear that it wasn't himself Cookie was trying to get Fanner away from.

He lifted his head and sniffed the air but he couldn't smell anything but swamp.

By now, Fanner had gone quiet and he was no longer smiling.

He had picked up on Yore's state of alert.

"Stay with Cookie," Yore told Fanner as he took slow, cautious steps in the direction Cookie had been pushing Fanner away from, every sense he had on high alert.

Cookie chittered loudly and he stopped in his tracks a moment before what he had believed to be a pile of boulders began to shudder and lift up off of the ground.

A fucking rock golem.

As Yore started to shift, vulnerable for a moment, Cookie leapt forward and drew the rock golem's attention.

Halfway between forms, Yore turned to Fanner.

"RUN."

[cosmo-lexies]

Dylan season 1 (1/7)

@dylan_torres06 (Wooden Town, Washington)

"Do you know this feeling thatno matter what you do, you're going to fuck it? For me, it's not a feeling it's my day-to-day. Hooking up with someone older, yelling at my social worker, or kissing a girl for whom I feel nothing is only a small part of my problems. The big part is my powers which my family knows nothing about. Fuck, I don't know how I survive until graduation. I should talk to them, shouldn't I? Ahhh, fucking l..."

(draft) 11:09 p. m. 26 Mar.

Warnings: This book has toxic relationships between an adult and a minor. These types of relationships are dangerous in real life. Besides, the book is about hard relationships with parents and abandonment issues.

Although these issues aren't shown in very explicit or extreme ways, they can be hard for some people. If some of these themes are tough for you, maybe you prefer not to carry on.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1: Motels are more fun than they seem until your social worker arrives

We were laying down naked on the bed, while the final light of the day slips in through the window. He was sweaty and tired; I was normal. It had been fun, but It was impossible that I would be worn out like him.

"You can shower off first," he said with a somber expression, "although you don't need," he whispered.

The same situation always happened when we made out. He goes go to the limit hoping that, I would end up tired or said that was the best sex of my life or something similar. I don't understand him, I guess he wanted a way to show his manliness. It's a stupid idea of millennials, sex shouldn't be a demonstration of anything and I'm not an object.

When I left the bathroom, he was reclining on the bed with a victorious pose. He is so stupid; fortunately, he'svery hot. He got into the bath, and I dressed. The motel was cheap, but it was in a good place for nobody saw me. I'd rather not give an explanation to my aunt and uncle. Perhaps it was the moment to stop the relationship. Too much risk to see an asshole who doesn't respect me.

Mike got out of the bath, and he came straight to kiss me.

"Your eyes are so fire, I'm loving that caramel color." He said with a handsome smile.  At this moment, I thought that some date without any obligation wouldn't hurt anyone.

When we were ready, I opened the door and saw the men in black. He was waiting for me, leaning on his rental Prius with his typical sunglasses. It was April in the afternoon he didn't need the glasses.

"You want me to give you a ride?" Mark asked me while he was checking hir messages.

"Don't worry, a friend has come to pick me up, " I pointed to Andrew.

He checks out Andrew for a sec. Then he took my head and french-kissed me while he stared at my social services worker. I shoved him with more care than he deserved.

"Oww, my arm dude," he said.

"Fuck you! I go."

"I love when you played hard to get. I will send you a DM for Instagram later," he said with a smug tone.

I carried on without glancing at him. In the car, Andrew followed me with his head, judging me.

"Hey, doesn't the government give you a phone? You could try phoning me like a regular person instead of stalking me."

"This man is older than you," my distraction hadn't worked "you have a problem, kid."

I got into the car and closed the door with strength. He also got inside and started the car.

"Who I hook up with is not your business."

"My business is that you're safe and sound. And hidden dates in sordid motels with strangers aren't safe. Who old is he?"

"Yes, super-dangerous. Perhaps he could stab me or shoot me," I said sarcastically.

"First, your powers don't make you immortal. Second, there are other ways of making hurt that isn't physical. Third, I want to know who that man is and how old he is, now!" he said seriously.

I guess that jumping out of the car had been the best; however, he had closed the doors. I have used this trick too many times. Technically, it was just two, but I guess that's too many for this type of thing.

"He is Mark and lives in Vancouver, Canadian. He works in Portland. The weekend goes home; usually, we meet up some Sundays when he goes to Portland."

"Dylan, you know it, isn't it?" I hated when he made this. I fucking know, I'm not stupid.

"Yes, they have an open relationship."

"Do you really believe that?" I didn't respond. "How old is he?" I was able to think of some distractions.

"He was twenty-five," I shouldn't have answered, what was the worse that he could have done. However, Andrew's a hard guy to dodge; he knows how to manipulate me like a Jedi.

"Dylan, shit, you are sixteen years old. The last girl was nineteen and it was too much, but this man almost could be your ..." he didn't complete the sentence. "Dylan..."

"Dylan, what. We didn't make anything wrong it's only consensual sex," I said angrily.

"You can't have consensual sex with someone so old," he yelled at me.

"In this state is legal. Besides, turning seventeen in a few weeks,"

"This is not the point" he parked on the hard shoulder and pick up his phone resolutely. I couldn't see what he was doing, but I was freaking out in my head.

"Please, he doesn't know it. It's all my fault," he took down the phone, "I told him that I'm nineteen years old. I'm 1.70 meters tall, weigh 75 kilos, and started shaving at thirteen. I look twenty years old. I know I'm pathetic," I said turning my face.

"You aren't pathetic. You mess up sometimes, same as everybody else," he sighed.

He put the phone in the glove box and restarted the car. This had been a disaster; at least I avoided a group of agents appearing in Mark's house or something. But, I had a new lie on the counter. It's true that Mark doesn't know my real age; he never asks.

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. The following parts will be out soon, or you can read all season 1 in wattpad

[fatiguing-thoughts]

"Always Bella II" - Jacob Black x Reader

Summary: Jacob x reader angst. Bella always comes first. I'm going to hurt your feelings so if you don't want that please don't read this. Part Two to " Always Bella " There will be a part three.

Read: Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part IV / Part V

My bed was achingly cold. In fact, my entire being has been achingly cold since that day Jacob disappeared, leaving me in the rain with Bella Swan.

Even worse, Jacob had been radio silent ever since. What I thought would jumpstart our contact again seemed to only push us further apart.

"Leave me alone, (Y/N)."

"Jacob." I begged. "Jake, please."

"No, I have nothing left to say. I don't want you in my life anymore." His cold voice cut through the phone before he abruptly hung up.

That phone call echoed in my brain daily, it haunted my nightmares.

The one person I could always count on was gone, it seemed he was no longer the person I fell in love with.

Jacob was no longer my sunshine, my rock. He was angry, he was cold.

Nothing felt real anymore. I didn't feel real anymore, I had nobody to turn to. Bella tried to speak to me, but I had nothing to say. I blamed her for everything going on between Jake and I, or lack thereof.

I haven't been to First Beach nearly as much as I used to, it hurt too much.

It hurt too much to be there. The memories of Jacob and I played through my head, ringing through my ears. Tears pricked my eyes as I heard his laughter echo the walls of my brain, burning a pit into my stomach. I was sick at the thought of him.

Empathetic looks from Sam, Quil, and Embry plagued my vision when I went. I couldn't even be bothered with them, though.

They didn't tell me shit.

No matter how many times I asked, they wouldn't give me anything. I needed to know what was going on with Jacob.

I needed to know why I felt like I was dying. Like every fiber of my being was falling apart.

I felt like a hole was ripped right through my chest.

Why did it hurt this bad?

It felt as if I couldn't breathe anymore. It were as if someone was sitting on my chest, holding my head underwater.

This pain was unimaginable. Losing Jacob hurt, the pain was only getting worse-- and more physical as time went on.

It wasn't this bad before I saw him in person.

When he first disappeared, it hurt-- but not like this.

No, this was pure pain. Ever since our eyes met that day in the rain, it felt as if my soul was ripped right from my chest, set ablaze in front of my very own eyes.

Nothing was the same without Jacob. He was everywhere I looked. Finding a few shirts or hoodies of his in my room was pure pain. Music hurt too much, I couldn't look at my shitbox car any longer. The countless memories of us spending hours working on it, screwing around and having way too much fun trying to fix the old vehicle swirled throughout my thoughts.

It was all too much, everything was physical pain. I felt myself slipping into a dangerously low place, but I couldn't really explain why I was so effected by this.

Yes, I was in love with him, but this was abnormal. A pain like this wasn't normal, it almost didn't feel real.

Life had lost it's color without Jacob Black. The sun was no longer shining, no longer bringing me warmth.

I was empty, I was cold. Nothing could bring me the warmth I needed to continue; nothing could fix the sharp, aching pain I felt in my chest.

Except maybe Jacob.

I felt it in my lungs with every breath.

Dark circles clung to the underneath of my eyes, I felt myself growing weaker every day. The pain radiated through my aching soul every day.

Why was I hurting like this? How was this even possible?

I stared at the screen of my phone, observing all the texts I've sent to Jacob the last few weeks, all unanswered. All of the times I tried to call him, also with no answer.

I hadn't tried in a week, the feeling of rejection taking over my entire body. I didn't understand why, but Jacob truly hated me now. He no longer felt connected to me, there was nothing left between us.

I laid in my bed for what felt like days.

To be fair, it was probably days.

I stared at the beams of light peaking through my curtains, dancing among the comforter laying upon my freezing cold body.

This comforter provided me with no warmth. Nothing could warm me any longer. The way I felt was indescribable.

Something in me burned. I yearned to see him, I felt this pull. I needed to find him.

I grabbed the keys to my car, threw a sweater on and made my way over to First Beach for the first time in what felt like ages.

The drive was a blur, no music played through my speakers. No amount of heat that blasted through the vents brought me comfort, it felt as if my fingertips were going to freeze off. It felt like the hole in my chest was only growing larger, bringing me deeper into this pit of despair.

I stepped out of my car, walking towards the bodies I saw in the distance. Embry and Quil sat on a log, chatting in front of an unlit bonfire; as you guessed it-- two empathetic looks flashed my way before they quickly contorted to looks of concern.

I shook off their looks, my cold cheeks and dreary eyes peering around to find who I looked for. I watched as Quil's eyes darted left before quickly returning to my gaze.

I turned my attention to where he looked and saw Jacob.

But he was with Bella. Though he looked disheveled, he still had enough strength to see her.

I watched as she pulled him in for a hug. The way he held her in his arms instantly made me sick.

I felt the air leave my lungs as the pain in my chest only intensified. It felt as if someone punched my in the gut.

I watched as his shoulders rose and fell, seemingly out of breath.

It didn't matter, though. He was with her.

No matter what made him as distressed as he had become, Bella was still around even if he cut me off with no explanation. He couldn't have me in his life but he would always keep her around.

I couldn't even cry, all my tears were gone. I had to tear my eyes from the sight as I felt whatever was left of my soul leave my body yet again. My knees practically gave out from under me at the sight, making my turn around very clumsy.

My vision grew cloudy as I walked back to my car. Black spots taking over my vision as I sat in the driver's seat. I laid my head on the steering wheel, holding onto it to ground myself.

It's always Bella.

Every time, he chooses her.

My knuckles where white from gripping the wheel so hard. I tried to make myself breathe, but it wasn't working as the pain in my chest was only getting worse. I felt my consciousness slipping as I grew weaker.

"It's always Bella." I exhaled as I felt myself grow limp, succumbing to the darkness that plagued my vision.

__________________________________________

Read: Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part IV / Part V

***Taglist***

@art-flirt @lazyotakujen @cole22ann @yellowjellobean

[strayen-fx]

Red.

》 HHJ x reader

》 angst, vampirish theme

》 warnings: mentions of blood, hints of physical assault

》 2.1k words

》 a/n: short and simple, after months of writing break. Hope you guys enjoy regardless :)

“Stay away from them, my dear. Save your blood from the horrors of their fangs. Be wary of solitude, and be wary of the crowd.”

It was a day not unlike any other. My morning kicked off lazily, with me waking up almost an hour later than a college freshman was supposed to. Nothing unusual there. I did my usual morning prep, took a cup of grandma’s tea in one gulp, and went my way. I was already late for the train—I had to run after a departing bus with an exceptional speed that would put Olympiads to shame. I got in the room just in time as the bell rang for first period. I came in huffing like an old man, but it’s alright. Way better than walking through the early jam-packed hallways.

The first aberration in my daily humdrum existence happened on my way to fourth period. A student from another department stopped me on my tracks. I knew him; he was a member of the student council. Was I in some sort of trouble?

He introduced himself as Han Jisung, then proceeded to ask if I have seen his friend.

“He’s tall,” Jisung explained. “But like, not super tall. Not the towering-over-people kind. He has a mole under his eye. He’s got black—no wait, I think he dyed his hair again the other day. Anyway, have you seen someone like him? He’s noticeably handsome. I guess. I’m more handsome, though, but you know what I mean.”

The whole school would know who he is talking about. The one and only Hwang Hyunjin: champion swimmer, council member, and just a general talk of the town. The Prince. Even if I did see him around, though, I wouldn’t know. I never pay attention to the people I walk by.

I shook my head and muttered a soft sorry. I did feel bad for Jisung. He looked so worried and dejected, and I can’t blame him—not after after the incident with Seungmin. I can’t really take it against him to worry about his friends. I sauntered off to my next class, my mind still stuck on the fact that a normal person in my school has actually talked to me, and I was able to keep my composure.

Fifth period: P.E. I don’t even know why we still have this subject in college. I opted to take a stroll instead. You see, a huge, dense forest is situated right behind the main school grounds. You could say that the school itself lies within the bosom of greeneries. Unkempt bushes and rows of towering trees stretched over several miles deep, starting from the edge of the campus to god-knows-where. It is my goal to scout the whole area before graduation.

Weighed down by my personal monstrous beast, I trudged through. I walked for at least fifteen minutes before I finally reached the spot—my spot. Sheet of decaying leaves cushioned a huge gray boulder, standing at least ten feet tall, shaped like an odd piece of egg smashed against the forest floor. Against it stood a larger stone, this one dotted with moss and weathered with cracks. They were propped against each other for support, as if stopping one another from tumbling to the ground.

There was a smaller rock at the foot of the smaller stone, and I use it as leverage to climb up and sit on top of the largest boulder. It was my favorite place. Most times I could just pretend that I was alone in my own tiny bubble, at the center of that clearing that nobody else ventures but me. I don’t feel the breath of people suffocating me with every step that I take. I don’t feel my heart thumping with the sight of anyone else. I don’t need to hold back. Here, I don’t feel weird.

But today felt somehow different.

It was awfully silent. The wind felt sharper and colder. Electricity was humming in the air, leaving my skin prickling with discomfort. There was a tension in my veins that I couldn’t quite explain—it felt like an omen of an incoming disaster.

Time ticked slow. A couple hours could have passed—or maybe it has only been five minutes—when a nearby rustling perked up my senses.

Trying to keep my movements as quiet as possible, I hopped down and took up a defensive position, which wasn’t easy to do for a student with no actual weapon aside from an almost-empty bag and a worn-out calligraphy pen. My instincts told me to take cover—but my feet seemed glued to the ground. Sweat trickled from my forehead. My hands started to feel clammy.

And then, just as I was about to scamper away, a figure crashed into view from behind the nearest oak tree. I almost threw my bag towards the person’s direction, until I had a clear view of the intruder’s face.

It was Hwang Hyunjin, wide-eyed and disoriented, with his cheeks and uniform smudged with traces of blood.

“Help me.”

His voice came out as a tiny croak, as if his throat was filled with acid. He stumbled towards me, reaching out his hand for support. I wasn’t able to move an inch—and who could blame me? The situation was way too hard to process.

Hwang Hyunjin, the university prince, was hunched huffing before me, his clothes caked with mud and dried blood, his hair a nest of mess on his head. He had a cut on his cheek, I noticed. His breathing was heavy and labored, as if the mere act of standing on his own two feet required all the effort he could muster.

“Help me,” he repeated.

“What happened to you?” I managed to blurt out. My initial thought was that some random outsiders kicked his butt for stealing their girlfriends. But no—someone like Hyunjin would have been able to handle that. Plus, something in his eyes showed an elaborate fear—something only a beast would be capable of instilling. I should know.

My heart began thumping faster, a colossal drum barreling in my chest.

Just as my schoolmate was about to open his mouth and explain, a loud rustling broke the stillness of the air. Before I could process what was happening, Hyunjin grabbed my hand and bolted away, dragging me with him.

“Don’t look back!” he warned.

I did.

At least a dozen feet behind us was another male, probably as old as Hyunjin. He was sporting our school uniform, walking casually under the shades of trees as if time wasn’t of any matter. What puzzled me, though, was the fact that we can’t seem to distance ourselves from him despite the heavy efforts Hyunjin had been exerting to drag us both away from this newcomer.

I took another glance behind me, and to my surprise, the young man wasn’t there anymore. Nowhere behind us, as if he dissipated without a single trace.

Hyunjin took a sudden stop, causing me to bump my head against his back. I was about to call him out for stopping, but then I saw the looming figure a few meters in front of us.

“You…?” I began, my mind a juggle of unanswered questions. How on earth did that happen? How is he—

Hyunjin's friend, Kim Seungmin, stood before us in his dirty school uniform. He looked pale, his eyes bloodshot, but he was standing there in full grace, very much alive, giving us a toothy grin. “You’re hurting my feelings, Hyun. Why are you running away from me?”

Hyunjin’s grip on my hand went tighter. “Seungmin...”

“Friends are supposed to help each other, am I right?” Seungmin continued, faux dismay dripping in his voice. He bared his fangs, its tips dripping with fresh blood. “So help me, Hyunjin.”

I felt my body run cold. I wanted to scream, run, anything—anything to get away from this. From him. From the two of them. From everything. But Hyunjin's hand remained strong around my wrist, and my legs were close to turning jelly. I could start to feel the fullness in my mouth, the pointy ends of my incisors. Something that only happens when I'm in an extreme hunger or danger.

“Stay away from them,” grandma said. “We are the same kind, but we are different. Weaker. They see us as preys, as special commodities. They can smell your blood despite my concoctions, my dear, remember this!”

Seungmin tilted his head to one side, finally regarding my presence. “And you, over there. I’ve never tried drinking such special blood.” He grinned. “Satiate my thirst.”

The last thing I knew, a strong hand was pressing tightly around my neck, turning my vision green.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°

“Have you heard of the news?”

“What news?”

“Kim Seungmin was safe! They found him in the forest yesterday.”

“Thank goodness! Was he hurt?”

“He had a few gashes, but he’s fine. Hyunjin found him and brought him to the hospital right away.”

Students filled the corridor, everyone bustling and hustling about the news: after his sudden disappearance, Seungmin was finally found by his best friend, Hyunjin. The latter saw him in the forest, hungry and disoriented. They went straight to the hospital to treat his minor wounds, and that was that—nobody bothered to ask how he managed to lose himself in the wilderness, or how we managed to survive seven days on his own. Nobody asked him stupid and unnecessary questions. Seungmin was safe, and that was all that mattered.

I brushed my way past the milling crowd, flinching at every accidental touch. I kept my eyes on the ground, forcing my mind into silence. I was expecting everyone to be in their respective classrooms at this time of the day, but apparently, the news of Seungmin’s return has become enough reason for everyone to wander about and neglect their individual duties. It was a grand miscalculation on my part—I hadn’t braced myself for this huge number of people.

Not here. Not now. Not ever.

I just have to get back home, and then it’ll be over. My insides would stop churning once I’ve drunk grandma’s tea—that has worked for 18 years now. I can stop this. I can stop me.

I made a run towards the comfort room. To my luck, nobody was inside. I washed my face over and over, as if doing so would cleanse me from the impurity stamped on every drop of my blood. The face on the mirror horrified me—I had to stop myself from punching the glass over and over.

The moment I stepped out, I felt his presence.

He was there, leaning against the wall, lurking behind the shadows. There was a faint gleam of terror in his eyes, but at the same time, I can feel it: the hunger. Lust for meat. Thirst for blood.

“Don’t be like him, Hyunjin,” I pleaded. “Don’t be like us.”

He shook his head in resignation. “It’s too late.”

He took a step closer. Another. He kept on walking until he stood right in front of me, too close I can feel him breathe.

Too close I can see the faint traces of blood on his lips.

“I’m still hungry,” he sobbed. “I’m still hungry…”

Fear was apparent in his eyes—fear of what would happen to him, fear of what he had become. “You will be fine,” I offered, taking his hand in mine. “Trust me on this. It will be fine.”

And then I felt it, stronger this time—the hunger he was talking about. The thirst. My stomach growled in protest at the sight of Hyunjin’s pale flesh. I can smell his blood—I can feel its steady rhythm as it flowed through his pulsing veins.

I need to get home. Maybe my grandma could do something about Hyunjin, too. Maybe she could produce a stronger tea, and both of us wouldn’t have to worry about our instincts anymore.

We stood next to each other for a full minute before he broke the silence.

“We need each other to survive,” Hyunjin whispered. “If we drink the blood of our own kind, we can last for a month without feeding on others.” He freed his hand from my hold and gripped my shoulders tightly. “I need you. And you need me, too.”Hyunjin leaned down until we were staring at each other at eye level. He closed the distance between us. I closed my eyes, and for the first time, I allowed my monster to take ove.

[vivithefolle]

Can I join your anti-Hermione club? Is there an application form? (In all seriousness, I'm so glad there's someone on Tumblr who is anti-Hermione for good reasons. It drives me absolutely insane how much the fandom worships her. I respect her intelligence, but there are so many absurdly unethical things she does. The hexing of Marietta Edgecombe - I researched it, it's both against contract law and would almost certainly be considered assault - was crazy, and even crazier was that it's excused.)

Hahaha, no application form needed, just a lot of bitterness and a touch of rage.

Something that really annoys me is how people are trying to tell me I'm doing Hermione-bashing when I give her the what-for. Or try to say "but she was a teenager :(". Really, freaking really? So when Hermione scars people on the face she's being a teenager but when Ron is pissy for a night in fourth year he's a total asshole? No, nope, not gonna let that lie.

My issue is that Ron's mistakes are teenager-sized; making an ass of yourself during a soirée, dating someone you're not really interested in because you're flattered by the attention, getting mad at your friend over silly stuff, saying stupid things without thinking... teenage mistakes. Those are teenage mistakes. (Something could be said of his leaving on the Horcrux Hunt but. Bitches. Voldemort himself (a part of him at least) was there singling him out for torture. Not to mention the heavy blood loss, the fact that his family's in danger, etcetera... But of course nobody is willing to accept those circumstances, nooo, it's only Ron who's the sole responsible for leaving absolutely, right, "Hermione is a teenager :(" and "Harry has PTSD :(((" but Ron isn't allowed to have problems of course. Fucking hypocrites.)

Meanwhile Hermione wakes up everyday and chooses violence and not for good reasons. I mean when your first reflex to distract someone is to set them on fire surely that indicates some issues? (Later on she forgets that she can use magic to light a fire... against a plant. I mean. How. How do you come to the conclusion that you should light a person on fire to "distract" them but cannot apply that reasoning to a goddamn killer plant.) The thing is people just... because we're constantly told that Hermione is intelligent/has good grades/works hard, people are quick to assume that she's obviously the most mature one in the room. But being a hard worker isn't necessarily a "proof" of maturity. It's just that people's expectations are that "a studious kid" is a mature kid, but really what they mean by "mature" is "doesn't annoy me to hell and back by playing noisily".

There’s this huge manipulation that plays on people’s expectations: being coded as “the studious girl” people are told through stereotypes that Hermione is smart, mature and logical… and the text is quick to try to reinforce the idea by having her spout definitions (=”smart”, for a degree of it; it’s mostly good memory), scold others for being rowdy (=mature, except that she’s not above it all either and a big part of maturity also involves REALIZING YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES which, Hermione’s don’t, so oops) and have her solve some puzzles or explain things (=logical… but sometimes her reasoning is based on emotion and she just tries to find evidence to justify why she thinks it’s right, rather than go from one thing to another).

When people try to brush off the fucked-up things Hermione did with "well she was a teenager" or "it was the war effort"... no. Fuck no. She didn't have to wipe her parents' minds and memories, there was the Order, the Dursleys were treated better than Hermione's parents for God's sake. But the only thing that matters about Hermione's parents is that they can be conveniently sacrificed to let us know how brave their daughter is right, it's not like she's in anything called the House of the Brave or something, it's not like she's constantly being thrown in mortal danger and is scared but keeps pushing forward, no we absolutely HAD to have a plot point that involves Hermione destroying two people's identities so we know how brave she is (how was any of it brave? Bravery is risking yourself, not the life of two innocents who barely know what's going on and are in no position to fight back).

And with the Romione fandom trying to push back to "nooo but she was a teenager m'kay she had her reasons for everything"... You want to get back to the Dark Ages where Hermione can do anything to Ron and it's his fault for not being perfect enough for her? Because that's how you go back to the Dark Ages.

In concept I love Romione. In the books I love it till about Book 3 (and even then that's pushing it because Hermione's utter disregard for Ron's pet sits very unwell with me, BUT okay fine she's still a child, it's her first pet, she has no idea how to own a pet and she's not used to being mindful of others' feelings. Then she gets validated by the plot because Scabbers was Pettigrew and somehow that means Hermione wasn't horribly callous to Ron's feelings or anything... meanwhile had it been Ron buying Crookshanks and Scabbers being Hermione's pet everyone would have been like "but who cares that Ron was right in the end, do you see how horribly he hurt poor Hermione's feelings!!!"...

It's just. No more excuses. Hermione is fucked-up. As a person, not just because of the war. She had a vicious, vindictive streak that only got enabled through the books because she never was called out on it. And I mean, I'm all for standing up for yourself, or for slapping Draco Malfoy's bitchy ass ferret face. But fuck. When you're doing the magic equivalent of an acid attack on someone's face, when you're physically abusing someone you're supposed to love AND THREATEN TO DO IT AGAIN AS IF IT WAS SOMETHING CUTE OR QUIRKY, when you're brainwashing your own parents into compliance because you can't be bothered to lie to them or make the Order get them... You know how many fics I've seen that take the "I did actually Confund my examiner" exchange from the Epilogue and run away with it to make it so Ron gets in a horrible car accident or invent entire collapses of the Statute of Secrecy as a result of an investigation connected to this "ha ha look it's funny Ron cheated on his exam" moment? Why don't I ever see a fic talking about how Hermione erasing her parents from existence leads to the destruction of Wizarding society through the legal bullshit that follows? Because Hermione dear, did you think to alter "Wendell" and "Monica"'s birth certificates? Their marriage contract? Their VISAs? Their bank accounts? Otherwise you've just turned your parents into homeless vagrants hopelessly lost in Australia who can't ever find a home anywhere because they simply don't exist in the eyes of any government. But hey nobody ever thinks of that because it's so much easier to nitpick everything Ron does. The only thing folks notice about Hermione nowaday is Emma Watson's boobies.

... I'm sorry, I just... Ugh. People.