#I'm not having a good time rn but I'm optimistic
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job interview tmrw better go well because I hate this 1hr+ long ass commute
#the past like 2 jobs I've applied for idk what it is#the employers are really bad like incredibly unfit for their positions#or they're not very communicative#which kind of sucks working in cooking i need better communication than what I've been getting lately#it me#this last place straight up let me go on my day off and sent an email at like 2am saying they have other positions they think would fit me#and its really been affecting my self esteem and my rent just went up $25 of which I'm already a month late on#I'm not having a good time rn but I'm optimistic#the next job is going to have to be the last job because i am so tired of feeling bad about myself#these places that just let you go ive had to deal with twice now and#idk
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i had my zoom meeting with maestro and the assistant conductor today to talk about the manager job and it all sounds okay to me (i'll feel more comfortable about the whole arrangement once i can come in and shadow the last two rehearsals this semester and get a feel for the job in person) but it's a little funny how frequently maestro kept assuring me that. well if it sounds like too much work or just not something i am capable of or even want to do it's okay no pressure he'll be fine without me it's totally up to me don't sign on if you aren't absolutely one hundred percent okay with it and even if it's too much let me know because we can adjust the duties and help you out it's okay. and also him being like the pay isn't that good i'm going to try to ask for more money to pay you and the assistant conductor and maybe partially fund you if you go on tour with us next summer but it really should be more pay than this i'm sorry anyway here's like seven other ways you can make a little extra cash through related jobs like arranging extra parts for the orchestra and subbing on english horn as needed and maybe i can find some money for you to write program notes also have you considered teaching at the local music school it's a good way to get your foot in the door and make a little extra on the side sorry it's not much i hope it's okay for you
#and the whole time i'm sitting there like Okay 👍 Thamks#i wanna talk about me#it's very endearing how much he seems to care about me. both my comfort with the responsibilities and the pay haha#he was even like You know maybe if you wanted to take conducting lessons.#(with the lowkey implication of 'you could be assistant conductor in a couple of years too and then i could pay you more LOL)#(and he kind of complained about how the hall and the organization have an assload of cash at their disposal they're just stingy with it ha)#i'm not in it for the money rn really. i mean obviously it would be nice haha#but i'm getting by okay rn with my fellowship and gigs#(and the fellowship means i'm hardly paying anything out of pocket for grad school which is certainly a huge help here haha)#i'm not doing it For The Exposure cause like. idk that sounds trite and also exposure to What. i've known maestro for eight years...#but it IS really good experience for me. a job handed to me by someone who knows and trusts in my work#in my target field of work. with a highly regarded youth orchestra at an amazing concert hall.#i'd be such a shithead to pass that opportunity up!!#it's not about only making a thousand bucks per concert cycle or whatever it's about the experience#and getting to put [redacted] concert hall on my cv. invaluable!!#anyway nervous but cautiously optimistic about next week i'm shadowing the last rehearsal before their december concert#i'll feel much better about the whole job and everything involved once i can experience it in person#i'm a 'learn by doing' kinda guy anyway
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Shellycoat
#heyo again posting in the ol tags#At a moral quandary but I guess I'll update yous on my life while I think of a way to sound it out#I am currently single. This is a big deal for me because I am coming to terms with my status as a serial monogamist#I think my ex has been not single longer than I have so I'm not feeling guilty about it. Just feels weird being single is all.#I'm doing the whole dating thing again. Have been on 2. First one I stayed at her spare room and freaking cried. Haven't spoken to her sinc#Second one I stayed in her spare room and she stayed with her roommate. Both times I didn't want things to go physical. Both over now.#The second one I was more optimistic for tho.Prominent thing was that she wanted me to date her and others. So I'm not exclusive with anyon#And I still maintain that. Doesn't feel good bc when I go on a date with one it feels like I'm cheating on the others.#But i have such low confidence that I don't want to turn anyone down or keep anyone waiting for me to ask them out. So idk what I'm doing#anyway. moral quandary. I just realized I can't actually talk about it. But I have to choose advancing my own career at the cost of my sou#it would be really nice to get some big £$£$ but I'd have to sort of betray new boss a little. Who has already given me permission to do so#it doesn't feel right. Shellycoat here is from new project. Ugh I dunno. I think I'm going o have to sell out just a little.#Bein single again shows me how behind I am for my age. Still can't drive still living with my best pal. Probably goin bald soon#then again I've been saying that for years now. Maybe I have a few years left of it. But yeah. I don't earn very much rn. When I get those#questionaires I'm often in the lowest bracket so i'm like “I am among the poorest of ppl then??” One lady stopped talking to me when I#told her I rented a flat. Which implies a lot of men my age own property already. But did they get them with their morals intact or did the#have to do a bit of backstabbing on the way? Anyway. I guess I'm happy that I'm not just whining about my love life.Maybe being single is o#still wanting to get out there. Maybe I'll make another post about that or whenever I'm not single lol
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Focus with Franco - Franco Colapinto x Reader
summary: Studying for exams is tough, but trying to focus while your yapper boyfriend, Franco, is around? Impossible. (2k words)
content: cute yapper franco, wholesome vibes only
AN: work starts again next week so I'm writing so much in advance rn!! I have this super cute halloween fic I can't wait to post ^_^
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I'm seated at my usual table in the cozy corner of my favorite café, surrounded by textbooks, notes, and a half-empty cup of coffee. It’s test week, and the weight of impending deadlines presses heavily on my shoulders. Normally, this is my sanctuary, a place where I can zone in and get things done, but today is different. Today, I have a very lively distraction sitting across from me—my boyfriend, Franco.
He insisted on joining me today, claiming he wanted to spend time with me, even if it meant sitting quietly while I studied. But quiet and Franco? Those two things don’t exactly go hand in hand. From the moment he sat down, his restless energy has been evident—he’s bouncing his leg under the table, tapping his fingers rhythmically on the surface, and stealing glances at the pastry display every chance he gets.
I hadn’t seen Franco in what felt like forever. Between my busy university schedule and his constant travels, the time we spent together had been scarce. I missed the ease of hanging out, the silly conversations, and his infectious laugh. So, when he suggested coming along to “keep me company” during my study session, I couldn’t really say no. I was excited to see him, even if I knew his presence would make focusing a challenge.
"Do you think I should get another cappuccino? Maybe a hot chocolate? Ooh, or one of those caramel lattes!" Franco muses out loud, glancing over at the counter. His eyes flicker to the pastries in the display case, and he grins mischievously. "Or maybe something sweet? You need brain fuel, right?"
"Franco, I’m trying to focus," I reply, smiling despite myself. He’s so effortlessly charming that even when he’s distracting me, I can’t be annoyed.
“I know, I know. You’re in full-on study mode,” he says, putting his hands up in mock surrender. "Silent as a shadow, I promise. Just here for moral support. Quiet, calm moral support. You wouldn’t even notice I’m here." He mimics zipping his lips and leans back, a mischievous glint still dancing in his green eyes.
“Right,” I say, fighting back a laugh. “Completely invisible.”
In truth, he’s anything but invisible. His presence is like a ray of sunshine on an otherwise cloudy day—warm, bright, and impossible to ignore. Even now, as I glance over my notes, I can hear him humming softly to himself, tapping his foot to some imaginary beat. His energy is contagious, but not exactly the kind that helps me get through chapters of academic content.
“You’re staring at your notes, but I don’t think you’re reading them,” he teases after a few minutes of quiet.
I let out a sigh, finally looking up from the page I’ve been pretending to focus on. “I’m trying. You’re just... a little distracting.”
His expression shifts to one of mock innocence. “Me? Distracting? You are offending me, cariño.”
I shake my head, amused by his puppy-like energy. Franco, with his boundless enthusiasm and natural charm, is impossible to resist. He’s always buzzing with ideas, questions, and random thoughts, much like a Labrador puppy who can’t sit still but is too cute to be annoyed at.
“I could help,” he continues, nodding at my books. “You explain it to me, and I’ll quiz you. I’m a great study partner, you know.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I chuckle. “I’m pretty sure you’d turn every question into something about racing or capybaras.”
Franco leans back and says with a playful sigh, “Ay, qué optimista eres,” (Oh, you’re so optimistic), giving me a grin that says he knows exactly how distracting he’s being.
I laugh, rolling my eyes at him, while he beams, leaning back in his chair, clearly proud of himself.
“Okay, maybe not racing. But capybaras? I could totally work with that. Did you know capybaras are basically the chillest animals ever?”
“See? Exactly my point,” I laugh. “I need to focus, Franco.”
He gives me a mock serious look, leaning forward again. “Okay, okay. I’ll be quiet. Silent. Like a... capybara.”
I try to hold back my smile, but it’s no use. He’s too endearing. As much as I need to study, it’s hard to be upset with Franco. He’s always so full of life, always so positive and uplifting. Being around him makes everything feel lighter, even during stressful times like test week.
After a few more failed attempts at reading the same paragraph, I finally sigh in defeat, setting my pen down. “Maybe I should’ve just stayed at the library…”
Franco’s face lights up, his grin spreading wide. “Nooo, come on! I’m helping, I promise! You need breaks, right? How about we take a little walk? Ice cream maybe? You’ll study better after some fresh air.”
“Franco…”
“Ice cream solves everything,” he says, not missing a beat. “You’ve been working hard! A quick break won’t hurt.”
I look at him, seeing that spark of excitement in his eyes. He’s like a puppy, always ready for fun, always eager to make me smile. And, as much as I want to get through my study session, part of me knows he’s right. A break might actually help.
“Fine,” I agree, starting to gather up my things. “But we’re getting back to work after, okay?”
“Of course,” he nods enthusiastically. “Ice cream first, study later.”
As soon as I stand, Franco’s on his feet, taking my bag from me before I even reach for it. “I’ve got it,” he says with a playful wink, throwing it over his shoulder like it’s no big deal. “This is what I’m here for—moral support and bag-carrying services.”
I roll my eyes, but a smile tugs at my lips as I follow him out of the café. The afternoon sun greets me as I step outside, its warmth a welcome contrast to the cool café air. Franco grabs my hand, swinging it lightly as we walk down the street toward the ice cream shop.
“So, what flavor are you getting?” he asks, already deep in thought about his own choice. “I’m thinking something with chocolate. Or maybe caramel? Or both! You can never go wrong with both.”
I chuckle at his enthusiasm. “You’ve thought about this a lot, haven’t you?”
“I mean, it’s ice cream. You can’t just make these decisions lightly,” he says, completely serious.
After we both get our ice creams—Franco, as predicted, goes for a mix of chocolate and caramel—we stroll toward the nearby park. The sound of children playing and dogs barking fills the air, and for a moment, the world feels simple and carefree.
Franco, of course, is still talking. He’s switched from ice cream to racing, then to a random story about a funny moment at a team meeting. His thoughts flow effortlessly from one topic to another, like a stream that never runs dry.
“Did you know,” he says between bites of his ice cream, “that capybaras are basically friends with everyone? They even let other animals hang out with them, like birds and monkeys. They’re so cool.”
I laugh, shaking my head. “Why are you so obsessed with capybaras today?”
He shrugs, a playful grin on his face. “They’re fascinating creatures. Plus, I feel like they’re the perfect animal to study when you’re stressed. All chill and unbothered by anything.”
“You’re ridiculous,” I say, nudging him gently with my elbow.
“But you love me,” he replies, his voice softening.
“I do,” I admit, leaning into him as we walk. “Even if you’re the biggest distraction ever.”
The two of us finish our ice creams as the sun begins to set, casting a warm glow over the park. Franco slips his arm around me, pulling me closer as we walk in comfortable silence for a while. Despite the fact that I didn’t get much studying done, I feel lighter, more relaxed. The stress of test week seems distant now, overshadowed by the simple joy of spending time with him.
“We’ll really hit the books tomorrow,” Franco says after a few moments, his voice quieter now. “I’ll help you, and we’ll crush it.”
I smile, knowing full well that tomorrow will likely involve just as many distractions. But with Franco, everything feels a little easier, a little more fun.
“Deal,” I say, squeezing his hand. “But I’ll need complete focus tomorrow, no distractions.”
Franco grins mischievously. “I can’t promise that, but I can promise ice cream breaks whenever you need them.” He winks, and with that, I know tomorrow will be just as productive—and just as perfect.
#f1 x reader#fc43 x reader#franco colapinto#franco colapinto x reader#franco colapinto imagine#franco colapinto fanfic#formula 1 imagine
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Your First Date with Them♡🍰🌹☕ (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)
Hey it's Lunadream🤗 We're gonna be looking into your reading for your first date with them♡🍫 hope you find your message🌹☕💗
Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)
Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of the your person, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~🍫💗
Pile 1🥛
Pile 2🥣
Pile 3🍰
Pile 4🌹
Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡
On to the readings —> 💌
Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡
On to the readings —> 💕
Pile 1🥛
Sign energy: Adventure, Important, Vent, Magnetic, Alien, 4th house, Saturn, Juno, 10th house, Aries, 😁😩🦇🤐
🍫Your person's energy: Okay pile 1 I'm getting most of you or your person have earth placements but also specifically earth in fire houses so like you know if you're a taurus, virgo, capricorn rising your earth energy will be very prominent in the 1st, 5th and 9th houses of your charts <3 So that's what I'm getting, and I know for some of you.. your person could be in a single period right now, this is most likely from high standards and setting themselves apart from relationships they aren't okay with so they're giving off limits vibes right now oml like they are really starting to limit themselves from cycles aren't serving them🤚♡ This is someone who could be a public figure, like definitely vip vibes for sure. They could be rich and for a good reason too like they just have this drive for succes. I feel like your person is working so hard right now, both of you are and you guys deserve so much praise💗 Your person has such a magnetic aura and it's hard to not go along with them, like they have such commitment and dedication to the things they love.🥰 This could be you pile 1~ They have this passion and zest for life and they just wanna live theirs to the fullest. They're also very helpful and loyal as a partner and they are ready to commit WELL to someone.😊
♥️Your first date with them: Masculine, Optimist, Dress up, Search, Escape, Saturn, Chiron, Mercury, North node, Cancer, 🔦🦅😈♊ Alright so your first date there is gonna be HOT convos for sure oml like you guys are going to be so eager to get to know each other more and talk about your feelings, just making eachother feel so comfortable and understood💞 You and your person will be very satisfied with your dates like after your first one they will definitely be looking forward to the next lol, You and your person get will enjoy fixing themselves up for the first date and going on a romantic getaway with you~ They will really show how much they can provide for you and I can definitely see you and your person planning dates together often like this is so sweet you guys🥺💋💋 Your date could be in a social setting, a double date is likely. You guys might date over the phone or text before you actually go out together haha, you two heal each other through your dates and your person works hard to make you feel safe and cared for on your first date.🥰 Major couple goals with this one!🤯
💌Messages from your person: I want to spoil you (OML😭💸💸), You're the one that I want, You're a genius, You make me high, You're my ideal type, I'm losing myself, I'm not ready for you, You're not ready for me (My god you guys even they're worried you two can't handle the passion you have together cuz it's...wow) Extra cards: Frown, Words, Blood, Cold, Heart, Air, 3rd house, Neptune, 5th house, Vertex (Ok I'm getting holding back vibes now hold up-- you guys pile 1 your person is feeling so intense for you and they don't wanna get out of control rn but like they're trying to keep it in and it's not working😭 and I just wanna tell them it's alrightt like love pile 1 okayy?? Lol)
Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the milk emoji~🥛 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞
Pile 2🥣
Sign energy: Neptune, Words, Big, Unseen, Drama, Moon, Aquarius, 8th house, Scorpio, Venus, 🧬🥵🌏🚫
🍫Your person's energy: Ummm okay this one's intense for sure mhm for starters we have a lot of scorpio energy, I'm getting a lot of you your person is a Scorpio venus or venus in the 8th house, aswell as Aquarius venus or moon. This could definitely be a scorpio moon like I'm getting the vibes😨 just like this intense, emotional raw feelings and it's just so beautiful. Your person is sensitive deep down and they probably hide this from you because they don't want you to see that side of them, that vulnerable hurt side they don't want you to see that. And like with the drama coming out lol it's getting real like seriously they are such a dramaqueen aren't they?? They try to hide it from others but like the world is their stage and they're the main lead of the tragic tale lmaooo, This could be someone you met online, they prob stalk your social media maybe they are unpopular or an introvert. I feel like you guys have been intimate before for SOME of you only some!!😭 They may live through your liveliness because they're so shyyy. Also your person could be big like.. in appearance they could have a big frame, big lips... the chest is likely. They are emotionally intense and daydream a lot like they space out often too. Omg they need a hug I feel like–
♥️Your first date with them: Number, Fast, Lay down, Broken, Peace, 6th house, Chiron, Aquarius, Earth, Jupiter, 🤙🎆🍒🧩 Oohh so for your first date it's gonna be complicated my pile 2's😂😂 Your person is gonna have to warm up to you because like, they're so fragile and like they're gonna start by just wanting to hold your hand omggg🥺 You guys might start dating over the phone for sure, like just calling eachother and talking for hours on end, sharing your secrets and feelings. You will fix eachother though and just getting to share your innermost thoughts with one another will be very healing especially for your person guys😍 As for officially going out together, I see a fun wholesome date for you two. Likely an ordinary day, could be summer, and you guys just eating fruit on the beach laying down next to eachother as you watch the fireworks. There will be something to look at in the sky, and you will feel chill and relaxed. You might talk about your past hurtful experiences and how far you've come. You will exchange fears and sad feelings, and your person will understand you like no other.💓 You will ground eachother, and the first date will be complete like you won't be sad when it ends because it went so great and was well done <3
💌Messages from your person: Imagine if I kissed you, You make me feel special, The past is in the past, Do you think I'm cute? Do you believe in soulmates? We can try, Like you would know, I have no regrets (yeppp!!) Extra cards: Ego, Luck, Aries, Decision, Privacy, Scorpio, Fire, 9th house, Eros, Taurus (You guys after your first date your person will definitely want something with you, like they made up their minds and you're the only one for them... even after the date has ended they will be coming back for more time...🤫😈)
Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the bowl emoji~🥣 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞
Pile 3🍰
Sign energy: Vulnerable, Leader, Solitude, Hold on, True feelings, Sun, South node, Mercury, 3rd house, Cancer, 🔫👠🌪🎉
🍫Your person's energy: This ones a party animal LOL! I'm getting Leo energy along with Gemini and maybe rising signs in any of those, I see fun and energizing vibes with your person, and they've got a lot to say! But I'm seeing that there's another side to them they don't want you to see necessarily. There's parts of them that are more closed off and secluded, they have a chaotic side that they try to disguise as "having fun" when really they just don't know what the f they're doing😭🥺 Your person has a lot of emotions underneath their outgoing persona, they have such a nurturing side to them like they just wanna comfort someone but they feel so exposed it they do so🙏🩹 So your person is probably already in your life or they have deep feelings already like I get that for them. For some of you I'm seeing like you're part of a team of some sort with this person and like, they feel so pressured to take the initiative and you know, sort of hold everything together because I feel like this person is kind of a type of leader in some way. I feel like they drive others to keep going and work together, this could be someone you were in a relationship in the past and they can't let go of you now, so for some of you this is definitely someone who wants you back💞 Overall I'm getting social butterfly who is secretly a bit of a mess in disguise, hiding their chaotic nature behind a bright smile <3
♥️Your first date with them: Intellectual, Trickster, Secret admirer, Sidetracked, Body, Juno, Pluto, 6th house, Pisces, Jupiter, 🤷♀️🎤🐏🦢 Omg so huuuuuge karaoke date vibes rn and I'm honestly seeing a really funny scenario between you two.😂 Like you didn't plan on going on a date, and neither of you were prepared at all and it just like... happens out of nowhere🤯💖 Lol I feel like you two will get distracted by eachother in the middle of whatever and decide "hey let's just go out somewhere today" and then suddenly it hits you and you two both realize "hey is this a date???"😳😳 It's gonna be so hard to stop thinking about eachother after the date too, I'm also seeing some spicy things happening during the date, and one of you might really be captivated by the other's appearance...🥵 They might play it off as a joke when they touch you and pretend nothing happened omg, and my pile 3 this date might be somewhere you frequent a lot but like you will have no clue that's the place your first date with them will be🙊💕 You guys will move fast on this date and it will be so fun and witty too!! Lots of jokes, compliments and spicy convos... you or them may consider marrying the other after your first date with them <3 This could be a secret date that only one of you knows is actually a date!!
💌Messages from your person: There's something between us, Let's take our time, Let them know, I need comfort, I have so many options, You think you're all that, You can't get enough, Please stay single for me (awwww) Extra cards: Doll, Find, Exotic, Chest, Limerence, Capricorn, 5th house, 11th house, Libra, South node
Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the cake emoji~🍰 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞
Pile 4🌹
Sign energy: Bouquet, Hate, Tower, Siren, Anonymous, Gemini, Fire, Pluto, North node, South node, 🍷🐇🦄♋
🍫Your person's energy: This is one good looking soul lmao okay we have some really attractive energy right now, this person of yours is so pure and ethereal.😇 Like rapunzel locked away for her glowing hair, they're just so lovely and they maybe keep themselves hidden slightly. You or them be Cancer or Cancer rising/venus/mars, or have Gemini/Scorpio in either charts. I feel like this person has a composite moon in Scorpio with you tbhhh.😂 You guys might have a hate/love relationship too. Your person may be a secret admirer or perhaps you admire them from afar instead, someone is probably obsessed with their energy and my pile 4 it's most likely youuu😍😂 I mean they're soo gorgeous and you might even hate them for it, like I'm getting some jealousy from others with this person. Many people envy their beauty whether it's physical or not something about them is just so alluring and spectacular, like a black hole that just you know sucks you in.🕳🖤 You may have a complicated past with this person, but just know that there's also a future with this person too <3 You have tried to pull away from their energy but it keeps bringing you closer omg you can't run anymore pile 4🙈 They have a graceful presence about them and you know itttt. Like they're a god/goddess or mermaid/merman kind of vibe, they just pull you in and you can't stop thinking about themm💭
♥️Your first date with them: Doll, Sweetheart, Tower, Valentine, Yin, Eros, Leo, Libra, Fire, Mercury, 🙅♂️👋🩰🍬 Aww you guys are so cute together sorry I just had to say it because gosh this is such a cute reading this time😍🥰 We have heavy feminine energy for your first date with them, I see one or both of you dressing sooo cute for the first date. Omg my pile 4 may be a little nervous at first but after the first like, 5 mins you guys will be chatting so much in such a sweet soft loving way.🥺 I see coffee shop date or a cafe date, somewhere really sweet and aesthetic too... it's highly likely it will be valentines day or a couple's holiday for you two's first date together <3 You may be somewhere high up like with a beautiful view, it could be a really feminine place that had flowers and cute decorations. Very lovey dovey atmosphere for reeeaal💌💖💋 It will be nice too like you will really have a good time and it will be so well done and expensive (no matter the price), you will feel treated well~ It will be a swoon worthy soft and romantic date like in the movies and your person will look so good too, their hair may be something especially attractive on that day aswell as clothes and hands. They may have their nails done perfectly for your first date with them, Omg a plus you guys definitely might hold hands this time💖 A lot of talking and sharing interests, blushing over eachother, falling in love... You guys will feel so in love with this date it's gonna be so lovelyyy UwU
💌Messages from your person: What if I make a mistake? You deserve everything, I've seen you in my dreams, You've changed, You're playing with fire, I need your good vibes, You let me, I can't explain Extra cards: Smile, Library, Need, Handsome, Reflect, 2nd house, Eros, Vertex, 11th house, Libra (They need you🥺)
Thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the rose emoji~🌹 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞
Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸
Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3
#love reading#pick a pile#pick a photo#daily tarot#free tarot#pac reading#love tarot reading#astrology reading#tarot pick a card#tarot#tarot pac#love pac#future lover#astrology readings#tarot readings#tarot reading#tarotblr#pick a card#pick a card reading#pick a picture
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"Is this bitch about to yap about Arcane on tumblr.com again when she just said she'd shut up?"
Yes, I am and I'm sorry.
I love Sevika. I truly do like I write nasty sexy smut about her all the time but I truly do like her as a character. She's so unique, specifically in the way that that woman has absolutely no lust for power. She's not fighting the chambarons/chembaronness's about taking over, she's not plotting some secret other thing that's going to somehow put her in power she just cares about Zaun and its people.
I think she cares about Zaun in a completely different way than say Vi or Ekko care about Zaun as well, which just adds to how unique she is as a character. Vi just wants to prevent more death on both sides (and in doing so, she becomes a traitor and causes...more death) and Ekko is very much the most self-actualized and morally good character in the show (I love Ekko and will yap about him at some point, but this ain't abt him rn). I think Sevika is less optimistic than both of them, but she does care a lot.
She doesn't think that Zaun can necessarily be better but she doesn't want Piltover involved with her people if they aren't going to do anything to help (which they haven't). Very much 'If you don't care, why are you here, go away' energy from my wife. Her loyalty and drive are un-fucking-matched and I think she is willing to serve whatever cause she has to to - not necessarily get any sort of revenge on Piltover - but to get them off of the backs of the Undercity so that they can work to build on their own and I can't wait to see more of her dynamic with Jinx because it's clear from the trailers that she thinks that Jinx is the key to uniting Zaun against the right people, and not each other for once.
OOOOO and another big difference I think she has from Vi specifically is that Sevika's motivations don't necessarily lie in the relationships she has with other people. Sevika's personal issue is the conflict between Zaun and Piltover. That is her motivation, whereas Vi and Jinx and Caitlyn's motivations are heavily intertwined with the relationships they have to other characters.
EDIT: When I say her loyalty is unmatched, no I'm not counting Vander BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAUSE he wasn't doing anything but placating Piltover. Like, love Vander down but to Sevika he wasn't making progress, he was kinda complicit in the treatment that people in Zaun were dealing with (and she was kinda right!). Silco, while a greedy conniving son of a bitch, in Sevika's eyes had a solution to fight even though she had her qualms with him she stayed loyal 'til death did them part because she believed in his solution. With Silco, there was a system, and in a cruel, fucked up kinda way it was kinda working a little bit
#lesbian#wlw#☆kennie's rambles#sevika arcane#me yapping about sevika#i promise im done now (i think...maybe)#i love sevika so much#that's my baby fr yall#arcane season 2#arcane league of legends#arcane sevika#sevika
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Without Faith
a/n giggling and kicking my feet rn btw, this is meant to be a set up for something longer! lmk if you're interested in part 2 :)
Summary: After a news story that was only meant to be an internship assignment spirals into a crime story that earns national attention, you feel conflicted enough about your involvement to join a criminal psychology class despite being a journalism major. Despite your good intentions, the universe seems to have it out for you considering your slightly older professor is extremely attractive and the only person that seems to understand what you're going through.
Warnings/info: age gap (reader is of consenting age tho!!), future student-professor relationship, slow burn, slight changes to how college works for the sake of plot, a surprising amount of lore (i got carried away), me writing for a character for a first time on here so be kind 😭
----
It's not often one finds their enemy crumpled up and lying helplessly next to an overflowing garbage can. It's even rarer to see that and still feel the bitter sting of defeat.
"He didn't text me back, which is weird because when I ran into him on Friday--" Carlie, who might know you better than you know yourself, pauses.
You turn your head away from the trash in an attempt to abandon the newspaper as completely as the person who had thrown it away. "You saw James last week? You didn't tell me."
She watches you for a moment, her eyebrows pulling together in a way that tells you she won't accept your lie just because you're offering her an opportunity to re-dissect her most recent interaction with her latest target. "You know I did."
Carlie shifts her weigh from one foot to the other, her eyes drifting towards the ground. "It's there because it's old--it's over."
It's over. The words crack themselves against your skull. More than a sentence, more than a promise. The only consolation the state's attorney could offer grieving families. The sound ringing in your ears as a mother gave into her agony, a choked sob ripping its way out of her throat.
It's over--the catalyst that sent the mother to you in a parking lot illuminated by stale, synthetic lighting. They're the reason for her confession, that in some off-kilter way she thought the verdict would make her feel better.
It's over--the syllables that accompany the sound of the needle leaving Josh Robinson's lifeless body. Killed by the justice system or the media?
"You didn't do anything wrong." Carlie's voice is careful in its unflinchingness. "He was a serial killer. You--you wrote the truth."
And while this awareness has bound itself to your bones, it is rarely enough to make you forget what you did wrong. Journalists are impartial, they don't--they're supposed to understand, they're supposed to be careful. You took it a step further.
"I know."
You don't need to look up to know that you haven't convinced her. However, you must have sounded okay enough for Carlie to accept moving on. "And you're doing more than anyone else would do to make your true crime even better."
It's an exaggeration. Journalists have done a lot more for their careers than request to join a class that belongs to a department unrelated to their degree. But Carlie seems so happy to be able to compliment you, you decide to go with a less sentimental correction, "Not true crime."
"I know, journalism." She sighs, but continues to walk forward in a way that feels oddly optimistic. Maybe even relieved. "Make sure you point out the difference to the professor. I'm sure he'll love that."
You roll your eyes at her sarcasm, but follow her lead anyway. You've already perfected the elevator pitch you're planning to present to Dr. Spencer Reid. A brief but genuine description of the importance of ethical journalism, especially when it comes to writing about serial killers.
You're well practiced and far from worried about winning him over. Academic authority figures have always taken well to you...it also doesn't hurt that you spent all night googling him just to be safe.
"Actually," she begins, pulling open the door to the psychology building, "I bet there's no room for original material in the interaction that you've already imagined, planned, and mentally rehearsed."
You scoff as you step past the door's threshold. "No," the word is dismissive and entirely unconvincing. You instinctually move past it. "Go talk to your advisor about your thesis, I'll meet with Dr. Reid, and then we can order food or something."
The reminder of her own meeting seems to kill the mood, her smile morphing into something more focused. Carlie lets out a small breath. "Right. We got this." And with one final assuring nod, Carlie turns towards the stairwell.
----
The thought is a dull ache that wedges itself into your chest before you can bring yourself to knock against the door. It'll follow you forever.
When you step into the room, Dr. Reid will inevitably ask why you want to join his class. And then you'll have to answer.
You exhale as you extend your arm, knuckles rapping against the wooden surface before overthinking can hurt you any further. After a brief silence, you hear a slightly muffled, "Come in."
You reach for the brass handle, pulling the door open before stepping past the doorway's threshold.
The office is comfortable, a large desk and two plush chairs manage to share the space without seeming cramped. There's a pencil holder and several stacks of papers on the desk's surface. If one ignores the degrees--and the age of the recipient when he received them--on the walls, the office seems normal. Almost suspiciously so. There's even a partially wilted plant sitting on the windowsill.
After taking in the room, you let your attention fall to the individual behind the desk. He's--he--while you've read enough about Dr. Reid to already respect him, and are fully aware that he is far from your peer, you're also now looking at him.
Last night, you did stumble onto a few pictures of him that forced you to reluctantly make a mental note of the fact that he's aesthetically pleasing, but those occasionally blurry snapshots did him and his sharp features little justice.
"Hello," the word is an instinct, slipping past your lips before you're ready to speak.
"Hi," his response is as sudden and lacking in context as your own--a fact that immediately eases you.
Dr. Reid shifts, back straightening against his seat. "You're here for your appointment." You barely have the chance to nod in confirmation before he's continuing, "Come in, take a seat."
In all honesty, you're more glad for the direction than the excuse to sit. You enter his office fully, approaching the plush chair in front of his desk. You sit down, lips parting before you're ready to speak. All structured thoughts have abandoned you.
"Hi." You realize your mistake immediately. You blink, a sound between a self deprecating laugh and a sigh escaping you. "I already said that."
If Dr. Reid thinks anything of your mistake, he gives no indication of it. His expression remains steady, with the exception of the corner of his mouth briefly tugging itself upwards.
Your hands come together on your lap, one of your nails pressing into the nail bed of the thumb on your opposite hand before forcing yourself to relax. You've read enough about his work with the FBI to know that he's so adept at analyzing behavior, you don't need to make it easy for him by giving into obvious signs of nervousness.
"Like I mentioned in my email, I'm interested in joining your class even though it's not an elective and in an entirely different department than my degree." This part is easy, a perfunctory explanation of what he already knows. "However, there is enough overlap that my advisor is supportive of the idea and has already signed off on it."
He shifts again, his pointer finger tapping against the surface of his desk. "Right, she mentioned that, but she didn't mention why."
Okay. This is the part that matters. "I'm a journalism major, and I've recently completed an internship with The Washing Sun." In an act of total self betrayal, you study his expression for any hint of recognition. Finding absolutely none makes it easier to breathe. "And spending time in such an active, journalistic environment has made me fully aware of the way that morals and personal views can complicate ethics."
You pause, pressing your lips together. "I'd like the opportunity to learn about certain behaviors in order to develop a perspective separate from my own.
Though still politely neutral, something behind Dr. Reid's eyes implies an uncertainty that has the rest of your pitch jamming itself down your throat. Whatever's changed doesn't feel like disbelief, and you're far from worried about being accused of lying. You were careful to comb through your mess of emotions before you had even pitched the idea to your advisor--you do feel those things, they're just not the only things you feel.
How delusional had you been to assume the same answers that hid their vagueness behind a heavy layer of altruism that worked on Mrs. Carol would work on a FBI profiler?
"I um--" The sound of your own voice surprises you. "I know what it's like to write something when you can't feel anything for the person everyone's already rooting against, and I'd like to not feel that again." Another glimmer of honesty, barer than your curated story, but still not exactly everything.
Dr. Reid is quiet for a moment, studying you with an openness that should make your skin crawl. "What did it feel like?"
The question throws you. Friends, family, strangers--they've all asked you things about the case, about your article, about hundreds of other things so barely connected you couldn't fathom an answer. No one has ever asked you about that feeling.
"Uh..." You're not even sure you have an answer. "Weird." Your blankness feels like such a cop out, you feel the need to try again. What did it feel like? A hybrid beast made of a festering not-quite-guilt, an over awareness of your every action, all held together by an uneasy pride...that only served to further aggravate the not guilt. "Like I was doing something right and wrong, with no way of knowing what it was more of."
You squeeze your hands together, allowing yourself to focus on the action instead of him. "I'm sorry, that probably doesn't make much sense."
When you finally lift your head, Dr. Reid is already looking at you. A moment passes, the somberness of his features growing heavier in the silence. Maybe he's looking at something past you. "It does."
The affirmation is a small, fragile thing, so faint and far away it almost feels like an intrusion to have heard it. Some selfish part of you latches onto that, his unexpected understanding a lifeline you can't let go of.
You almost thank him before realizing that you have no idea what you'd be thanking him for. "I'm glad," you settle on, fingers carefully coming apart on your lap. "The writing thing's no good if I don't make sense."
The attempt at humor seems to pull him back from wherever he had gone. "Then you have nothing to worry about." He doesn't exactly smile, but there's something easy about the way he's looking at you. "I'll approve your enrollment request."
Relief floods through you immediately. "Really?"
"Maybe it'll help you feel less...weird." From him, your too plain adjective feels a lot more fitting.
You nod once, the motion quick and polite. "Hopefully." The beat of silence that follows comes closer to kinship than anything you've ever felt in someone's office. You're also fully aware of the fact that you've gotten what you came for and that Dr. Reid is likely a very busy man. "I shouldn't take up anymore of your time."
His fingers tap against his desk. "Right. I'll see you in class."
You smile as you stand. "See you then."
The walk towards the door is a lot less intimidating now. Still, once you reach it, you can't bring yourself to immediately reach for the handle. You pause, letting out a breath before turning around. "Dr. Reid?"
He looks up, nodding once in a way that's meant to prompt you. Maybe it's overkill, but it feels necessary and it's too late to back out now. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." He doesn't look away from you after responding.
There's nothing left to expect, there are no words or anything else meant to be said. That's not enough to stop some unknown feeling from wedging itself between your ribs, urging you to something, to say anything that might come close to offering him the same kind of understanding he's given you.
"I hope you find a less weird, too."
He doesn't respond, but something about the look behind his eyes and his slight nod makes you feel okay about leaving him.
----
There are few ideologies that have clung to him, and even fewer that have managed to bind themselves to some integral part of his being that exists beneath his skin.
The pursuit of knowledge is one of the few constants Spencer Reid allows himself to rely on, one of the only things he allows himself to consider a saving grace. However, circumstance has prevented his views on the subject from skewing. The irony of the fact that some things are better left unknown is not lost on him.
For example, the girl that walked into his office and immediately saw through him, is better left a mystery. He'd see her in class, he'd answer her questions, he'd grade her work and offer her necessary feedback--but he will not know her.
It's a mantra, a promise that he repeats in his head again and again as his attention falls to the desktop in front of him. He attempts to grasp onto this lack of knowledge, to transform it into a tangible entity to keep him from typing your name into the search engine.
----
a/n spencer entering his garcia era while googling reader 💻🧑💻
anyways in ur interested in part 2 or would like to be tagged let me know!!
#criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#cm fic#cm x reader#criminal minds fic#criminal minds x you#matthew gray gubler#matthew gray gubler x reader
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Guess who's been reading, "You're new TV headed roomate!"? :D
(Warning! Contains some spoilers!)
So, as a normal person who's favorite SMG4 character is Mr. Puzzles, I've been reading a few Mr. Puzzles x reader fics, and this one is just amazing! The writing for every chapter feels like actual episodes from the show and everyone having different nicknames for Insert is really nice. And, after reading the recent chapter, it's actually given me some inspiration to draw my self-insert interpretation of them. When working on this, I saw @bovinewriter's canon design for Insert and a few other posts of theirs saying it's more of a base design for open interpretation, so I kept the main aspects of the canon design (horns, hairstyle, and jacket) then added my self-insert spin onto it. Also, my original interpretation for the two halves was each one was a different color that mixed together to form the main color Insert wears, but then I thought, "What if the two halves and pre-split Insert each wore one of the secondary colors?", so I went with that instead.
Left
Left is the more serious, albeit, more depressed half.
They are patient and cool-headed, with some exceptions.
During the split, they kept the dark and cool-colored aspects of their original outfit since they're the rational, logical, and more pessimistic half of Insert. They also have pants instead of shorts because it's more professional (in their opinion).
Right
Right is the more impulsive and animated half, so to speak.
They are optimistic and loyal, in their own way, and tend to go with the flow in certain situations.
They kept the lighter/warmer aspects of their original outfit since, despite their choice after the split, their intentions really are wholesome and they want nothing more than to bring out their insane, TV-headed man's good nature. How sweet.
I don't have an exact idea of what my interpretation of Insert before the split would look like, but this is a rough idea I drew up, which (at the time of writing this) looks kind of similar to Opossol's character, Eliza. That was not my intention and I apologize. Go check out their stuff, it's great! Also, go check out their Creative Control animatic on YouTube. It's awesome! The 2D and 3D elements blend beautifully with each other.
Anyways, I just wanted to share this for funsies and also promote bovinewriter's fic. If you're looking for a good Mr. Puzzles x reader fic, I highly recommend this one, especially if you want one that makes you feel like you're in an actual SMG4 episode. Btw, I'm cooking up another Mr. Puzzles related thing rn that I'll, hopefully, be able to finish and release before the end of the year because I really wanna finish it and make it good before my hyperfixation runs dry and it becomes other unfinished project, slowly gathering dust. Y'all have a great day!
#mr puzzles x reader#mr puzzles#insert tag#self insert#smg4#plz go read “You're new TV headed roomate!”#And plz go watch Opossol's Creative Control animatic! It's SO GOOD!!!!#fanart
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When We Are Together - Pt. 1 (?)
omg...hi. i'm really here rn. posting this. at nearly 4 am on a monday morning. im nervous. i could vomit. so...this has been in my head for forever. literally. the idea is massive. it extends so far. it's seriously a whole universe in my little brain. it took so long to get the basis of this all out on paper, but, i'm hoping this is a series...a long one. the title isn't going to make much sense right now, but i pinky swear we'll get there eventually. so...without further ado...here she is...(EEK!) (also i have no idea how to set this post up so bear with me lol)
so i guess i just lost my fanfic writing vcard💌
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word count: 2.4k
cw: just a little swearing, maybe a bit of bad writing, also maybe typos?? might be a little boring because it’s mostly to just like set the scene idk? (eventually the plan is to have a lil smut or smth but this really is just an intro lol)
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The day starts as usual. You wake up to the sound of your alarm and your roommate’s hair dryer blaring through the thin walls of your Brooklyn walk-up. With a groan, you peel yourself out of the warmth of your bed, go to your desk, and open your laptop, holding onto a shred of delusional hope that one of your classes might be canceled for today; they rarely are…but you can’t blame a girl for being an optimist.
You scroll through your inbox, refreshing, and refreshing – you really don’t want to go to class today. Blame the essay you’d procrastinated that you’d spent all of last night speed-writing. Blame senioritis. Blame the unpaid music publicity internship that you’d been letting eat up your time in hopes of scoring a good job. Blame the frigid snow and ice that seem to be taunting you from outside your window. But, luckily it’s a Friday.
You refresh your inbox one last time, just for good measure. And, something actually comes in. But, it’s not from one of your professors. It’s from some company named “Dirty Hit.”
You raise an eyebrow and open the email, thinking it must be something related to one of the countless jobs you’ve applied for in the last few weeks, preparing for graduation at the end of the semester.
Y/N,
I’m a representative with one of our bands here at Dirty Hit. We’re really impressed with your work and have an opportunity we’d love to discuss with you, if you have a free moment this week at some point. Are you based out of New York? Get back to us when you can. We’re looking forward to hearing from you.
Best,
The Dirty Hit Team
“That’s weird,” you whisper to yourself, reading the short, ominous email over and over again. It’s not everyday that a label reaches out to a random college student to work with them. You’re not really sure what they could possibly be impressed with. You’ve just done minor PR internship work with underground bands from the east coast – that’s not exactly impressive. It sure as hell doesn’t warrant an email.
“Y/N?,” you hear one of your roommates and best friend, Vivian, call from outside your door before walking in, not bothering to knock. The two of you are close, almost like sisters at this point. In some ways, you’re exactly the same person, but in others your polar opposites. She’s a little bit more outgoing than you are, but she always helps to get you out of your shell. “Do you think I can get this guy I’m talking to into the venue tomorrow night? It’s just at The Soundwave, right?,” she asks, plopping down on the corner of your bed.
Shit. You completely forgot you signed up for an open mic tonight. You’d been playing your songs at small bars in Brooklyn and Manhattan for the past year or so. Songwriting had always been a bit of a hobby for you. So when you’re a broke college student in one of the most expensive cities in the world, you just find tricks to get you and your friends to do fun things for free. You’d learned a while back that performing at open mics usually meant you and your friends could get into bars and clubs without having to pay a cover, so you’d been spending your weekends doing that for a while. It’s all for fun. Sure, you like performing and put a lot into your songwriting, but pursuing it isn’t even quite a dream for you. You have an impending college degree you’ve worked your ass off for. In every sense of the word, music was a hobby for you.
“Yeah, it shouldn’t be a problem. He might have to pay the cover, but it’s not like it’s the sort of thing where people buy tickets. You know the drill. But, obviously you’re my plus one, so no cover for you,” you nod, still staring at your laptop screen.
“What are you staring at, over there? Everything okay?,” she asks, getting up and moving to stand over your shoulder at your desk. You move your head a little so she can get a good look at the words on your screen. You watch her face as she reads the email, her lips dancing on each of the syllables as you watch her process it. “Dirty Hit? What the hell is that? Sounds like a porn company. Impressed with your work? Do you have a booming, secret OnlyFans I’m unaware of?,” she jokes.
I laugh and playfully nudge her arm. “No, no,” you giggle, “It’s a record label, I think. I’ve heard the name thrown around a few times at my internship. I think they’re kinda big.” You tab over and do a quick Google search. Immediately, a sea of popular artists and bands pop up under the label.
“Holy shit. Beabadoobee? Bleachers? The 19 fucking 75? I have their fuckin’ poster on my wall. They’re cool as shit,” she reads over your shoulder. “I mean, I have no idea what they could possibly want from me. My resumè isn’t all that impressive. Sure, I’m planning on going into music PR, but there’s no reason why I would stand out against someone who has like…an actual career under their belt,” you ramble, trying to make sense of the 67 words in haunting your inbox.
There’s a long pause, both of you trying aimlessly to make sense of the email. “Well, you’re gonna email them back, right?,” she eventually asks. You take breath, starting a reply to the email, leaving your cell phone number.
You try to focus on anything other than waiting for a reply. You do your best not to let your mind wander into the what-ifs, but as soon as you get done with your lectures for the day, you check your phone for any response.
Y/N,
Thanks for getting back to us so quickly. The band and management is also in New York for the next few months for a project. We would give you more information over email, but much of the matter is highly confidential. We have a studio space at Electric Lady in Greenwich Village that we could meet at, if that works for you. I know it is rather short notice, but could you meet this evening at some point? Let us know.
Best,
The Dirty Hit Team
You quickly reply to the email on your walk back from campus, confirming the meeting for later this evening. You get back to your apartment and practically tear apart your closet trying to figure out what the hell to wear. You know it’s a business meeting, but it’s also for some mystery band. You don’t want to dress unprofessionally, but you also don’t want to seem uptight. You decide on a black mini skirt with tights and a chunky black turtleneck sweater. You finish primping and step into Vivian’s room, practically out of breath from all the outfits you’ve tried on and scrapped.
“Okay, if you were a band looking for…a PR representative…? Would you hire me?,” you ask her, standing in front of her bed as she looks up from her phone. She looks you up and down and grins, “Of course I would, Y/N. You look great,” she reassures you, sensing you’re anxious, “So, you really think this is just a PR gig?”
“I mean, yeah. What else could it possibly be? It couldn’t be my music. I’m not even on any streaming platforms; I don’t promote it at all,” you say with certainty. She shrugs and smiles, before wishing you the best of luck as you head out the door.
You get on the subway and head to Electric Lady. The train has always been one of your favorite parts about living in New York for college. Putting your pink headphones on, looking out the window into the catacombs that stretch throughout the city, people watching. It’s where you did your best thinking.
You get off the train and walk through the streets, your headphones on and your music blasting, only interrupted occasionally by Google Maps telling you where to turn and such. Eventually the robotic voice in your ear says “Arrived” and you look over your right shoulder…here it is. You're right on time. You go to open the doors, pushing on them gently; must still be locked. You sigh, assuming that its to be expected. That this is simply upholding a prophecy of some sort that the band and music-industry-folk run behind…until you hear a laugh.
“It’s a pull,” you hear a man’s voice call out with a slight chuckle. From just those three words, you’ve determined that he has one of the thickest English accents you’d ever heard. You look over your left shoulder and see a man leaning up against the wall of the studio smoking a cigarette. “What?,” you ask, confused as you look over to him. He has a hood on and you can’t make out his face, or what he was trying to tell you. “The doors. It says right on them. ‘PULL,’” he chuckles, tossing his cigarette to the ground and putting it out with his Adidas sneaker, walking over to you. “Oh, um, thanks, I’m an idiot. I almost gave up,” you chuckle, pulling the door open this time. The man follows you into the studio, holding the door open once you tug on it. You look back over your shoulder to thank him for holding the door, the first time he’s been close enough for you to make out his face; Christ, it’s Matty Healy.
“I know who you are,” he says to you with a cheeky grin as he starts walking into the back of the studio. You just stand there near the doorway, the gust of cigarette-scented, cold January air lingering around you. You’re perplexed, to say the least. He keeps walking down the hall before finally turning over his shoulder, “You’re just gonna stand there? You have a meeting. Wouldn’t be very professional of you to stand us up,” he teases dryly. You blink a few times before nodding, following him, still in a bit of disbelief that this was the band that had some sort of ‘interest’ in you.
He shows you into a studio in the back. Once he opens the door, there are four other men sitting there, three that you also recognize from your roommate’s wall. The other, a bit older, more professional looking.
“Y/N! I’m Jamie, I manage these blokes. Thank you so much for agreeing to come meet with us today. I know everything was rather vague on the emails, but…we had to keep it that way. But, now that you’re here, let's talk, yeah? Are you familiar with The 1975?,” the older man asks you, in a super friendly manner as you sit down on a plush chair in the corner of the room. Every eye in the room is glued to you. The air is almost sticky with anticipation. You take a deep breath and try to slap on the most composed, thoughtful, professional smile you can manage.
“Um, yes! Of course,” you nod, tucking a stray strand of your hair behind your ear, “I’m actually a fan of you all. Really, I listen to your stuff with my friends – you’re fantastic.”
“Good, good. We’re glad to hear it,” he grins, looking around at the boys who also all look to be pleased. Even though everyone’s eyes are on you, you feel Matty's specifically, practically burning a hole in the side of your head as he stands, still leaning in the doorway.
“We’re impressed with you, Y/N. So, I’m just going to get on with it. George went to a little bar in Bushwick last month and sent us a video he took of you singing one of your originals…you’re bloody fantastic. We’re going on tour this summer. We want to do something a little different this time with our opener. We want to build someone from the ground up. You’re it. We want you. What do you say? You interested?,” he explains with a wide grin, his tone casual like he didn’t just tell you the craziest shit you’ve ever heard.
Jamie’s words hit you in slow motion. You look around the room, the air moving from feeling sticky to feeling ice cold, jolting you awake. “I’m sorry…what the actual fuck did you just say?,” you blurt out blankly, any ounce of composure you may have had completely gone.
You immediately catch yourself, your language, your lack of professionalism, though, “Oh my god, I’m sorry. I…that just came out of my mouth…I-,” your face goes bright red as you desperately try to correct yourself.
The room erupts in laughter, the men you recognize from Viv’s poster nearly barreling over off the sofa. Jamie’s jaw on the floor as he howls, slapping the table in front of him. You look over your shoulder to see that Matty’s still in the doorway, and he’s just standing there with his arms crossed, shaking his head at you with a shit-eating grin.
“Oh, I think we’re gonna get along quite well with this one,” he remarks, licking his lips, weirdly impressed with your mispeakings.
You can’t help but sigh softly and shake your own head when he looks at you like that; something in you shifting as if he’s the only person in the room; as if he was the only person who'd ever laid eyes on you; as if he was the only person ever. As if, the offer you got just moments before wasn’t the most absurd thing that had ever happened to you. As if you didn’t need to thoroughly think this all over. As if you could make the decision right now.
You look back over to Jamie, who’s still chuckling. Before you can give yourself the time to overthink, you swing one of your legs over the other, lean back into the chair and smirk, “Jamie, where the hell do I sign?”
…and this is how it starts.
#matty healy#the 1975#mattyhealy#still at their very best#the1975#bfiafl#satvb#matty x reader#fanfic#matty healy fanfiction#the 1975 fanfic#writer#fanfiction
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same here. i wish to not doomscroll and doompost but. it's so hard to think of anything else than the elections.
for non-indonesians reading this.....us indonesians are having a bad time right now
minimizing the doomposting on twt by going back here but i dont think that’d change anything
#check your indonesian friends right now#they're not having a good time#i'm trying to be optimistic#but it's soooo hard#words of comfort thru DMs are appreciated rn <3#michiruze.txt#michiru irl
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Hey! I'm probably SOOO late to transformers fanfics and one shots but I've come with this prompt,( I hope you like it enough to write it!) could you write Ratchet x injured reader, g/n or female. Injured shoulder, and maybe trying to hide it from him? Also in Tfp? If all this isnt too much to ask? Thank you for considering! Have a good day/ night
a/n: heehee this one was fun. the dialogue is kinda splotchy because theres a lot going on in my brain rn but!! hope you like it <3 also reader is cybertronian bc there are NOT enough cybertronian!reader fics out there and theyre very fun to write tbh. hope thats okay!!
ALSO! guidelines have been updated so before anyone submits a new req please read it! and please please request mirage/rotb fics oh my god im obsessed with it ROTB WAS SO GOOD </33
warnings: very minor injuries, pining <3 word count: 1059 (GN, cybertronian!reader) continued under the cut
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The purple and green swirl of the ground-bridge closed behind you as you followed your team back into base, the lingering energy buzzing under your plating.
Glancing at Bumblebee, a small twinge of pity struck you as he made his way over to the medical bay. The scout had taken a few nasty punches from Breakdown and clearly wasn’t feeling too hot; dents littering his armor.
“We showed ‘em, huh?” your focus was snatched when Bulkhead caught you off guard with his usual celebratory elbow-bump, sending you stumbling a little from the force. A sharp pain ran up your arm to your shoulder and you winced.
“Yea- totally.” sending the wrecker a strained smile, you gave him a half-hearted push back. He tilted his head, about to open his mouth to ask you something when Miko booked it over to the two of you, questions spilling out of her mouth at a mile a minute. All of them were something gore or violence related, asking Bulkhead if he got any pictures of some “hardcore massacre-ing”. The girl's interests were a little concerning, but endearing. Nonetheless, you took the opportunity to slink away and avoid any more attention. Angling your helm, your face scrunched up at the sight - and feeling - of the wound on your shoulder.
Too focused on the fight in front of you, a stray Vehicon had been able to sneak up behind you and catch you by surprise. Fortunately for you, Vehicons were mass trained for quantity over quality and didn’t have the best shots. The blast grazed your shoulder, tearing between some of your paneling to the barely exposed wires. It hurt like a bitch at first, but adrenaline buried it enough that it wouldn’t distract you - plus it was small enough that none of your team noticed. Now that you were back at base, though, the piercing sting prodded at your processor incessantly. You did want to go and see Ratchet about it - always finding some kind of excuse to be around the mech - but he was dealing with Bumblebee right now, and you didn’t want to add to his plate. Not like it was anything life-threatening, anyway. You could just try and patch it up yourself - you’ve spent enough time with Ratchet to pick up a few things yourself.
You stole a glance at said medic, who you only just noticed was looking right at you. Immediately you realized from the questioning look on his face, raised brow and all, he had probably caught both your reaction to Bulkhead bumping into you and the grimace you had made at your shoulder. Optimistic, you shook your head at him, giving the mech a meager thumbs-up and a “I'm-actually-totally-fine” smile. He gave you a hard stare, and your spark sank when he motioned you over with a flick of his digits. You begrudgingly made your way over to the medical bay. As you neared, Ratchet had already cleared Bumblebee and was shooing him out. The scout passed you, and your attention was focused on Ratchet waiting with a cocked helm and his ever-present RBF. Standing awkwardly under his gaze, almost scrutinizing, you huffed. Without a word, the red and white medic picked up his scanner, turning it on with a loud click and running the green laser over your frame.
“Really, doc - I’m fine. It’s nothing.” you tried, and failed, as he kept the device lingering at your shoulder. With a deadpan look covering his faceplate, he put the scanner down and placed his servos over your shoulder plating. You grit your denta to keep a pained hiss from leaving you, wincing when he felt around the frayed wiring.
“Nothing, huh?” you pouted at his scoff, his metal brows knitted together as he examined the shot that had barely missed doing any serious damage. “Sit.” he ordered, gesturing to the medical berth while he moved to grab some tools from a nearby counter. Embarrassment was settling in your chassis, but you did as you were told.
It technically didn’t take long to patch you up, but the old mech made it seem like eons to you with the way he was muttering about “some of the team having egos too big for their own good.” It only made the burn of embarrassment grow, and you ducked your head when he gave you a pointed look. Ratchet was nothing if not thorough in ensuring you knew when he disapproved of something.
Soon enough he finished up, giving the patched wound a once-over.
“Anything else you’re not telling me?” he questioned, the familiar lilt of sarcasm back in his tone. That at least steadied your nerves a little.
“No, sir.” you mocked, raising one of your servos in a half-assed salute.
He scowled, crossing his arms, “I’ll have Optimus enforce mandatory health checks every time you come back to base.”
Frantically shaking your helm, you raised both servos defensively, “Okay, okay!” you sputtered, “Won’t happen again.” His optics narrowed, giving you a hard stare, and you released a heavy sigh. “Promise.”
Ratchet debated it for a moment, still having half a mind to just assign the checks anyway, but as you kept your optics trained on his, the mech’s will buckled and he huffed a quick, “Good.”
You both were staring at each other for just a moment too long before Ratchet gave a quick cough. “Come back if the pain flares up again.” he waved you off as he made his way back to his usual spot at the terminal. You blinked, watching him walk off with a slightly heated face. Awkward. Hopping off the medical berth, you were careful not to irritate your shoulder and mess it up more than it already was. As you walked past Bumblebee he whirred to grab your attention. You paused, turning your head to him with a raised metal brow.
The scout chirped at you teasingly from where he sat, nodding his head way too obviously towards you and then Ratchet, who was already burying himself back in his work. Your optics widened, immediately narrowing into an offended glare as you jabbed a digit towards him.
“Don't. Even.” you grumbled, folding your arms and walking briskly away from Bumblebee’s poorly stifled, chittering laugh that echoed behind you. Your previous pity for the mech quickly dissipated as your faceplate burned. Primus.
#transformers#transformers x reader#transformers fanfiction#tf x reader#tfp x reader#transformers prime#transformers ratchet x reader#tfp ratchet x reader#ratcher x reader#transformers fanfic#tfp fanfic
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I absolutely adore your writing style. You've mentioned being inspired by authors. Care to share which ones and/or some books you'd strongly recommend? I'm in a but of lurch on books I want to read right now and your writing style really scratches a certain itch so finding something similar would be lovely
I've answered this question a couple of times but! I will always answer again. I read a lot of books :3
I will warn you, I read a lot of epic/high fantasy. If that's not your thing, you probably won't like a lot of my recs, whoops.
This got really long I apologize. Once again. I read a lot.
T. Kingfisher
In my opinion, anything written by her is a win. Her World of the White Rat series of books are by far my favorite [Clocktaur Wars, Saint of Steel series, Swordheart], but she also writes very good horror, and her Sworn Soldier books are kickass.
She is a major inspiration for my writing style, especially internal thoughts and sense of humor. I try to emulate her way of having fantastic characters think and act on mundane things [i.e. a scary paladin man who gushes about knitting].
Blanket warning that all of her Temple of the White Rat books are romantasy, rated E for explicit. But as someone who normally hates [or just doesn't get / enjoy romance books] I still recommend them. The world is rich, some of them have intense horror and suspense moments, and the characters all have amazing dynamics and chemistry.
My favorites by her are: Paladin's Strength, Paladin's Faith, and What Moves the Dead
Nicholas Eames
Still on the style inspiration train. I really sat down and studied his use of description and character voice shortly before writing Redstone and Skulk. If you like how I handle descriptions, planting and worldbuilding, I recommend reading his work. I do a yearly reread of Kings of the Wyld, and while I didn't like Bloody Rose as much, it does an awesome breakdown of problematic heroes.
These books are rated R, for graphic depictions of violence and some pretty raunchy humor/language. The first book Kings of the Wyld has very light romance [unless you count Clay Cooper increasingly thinking about how awesome his wife is, or the group's barbarian falling in love with an avenging angel], but Bloody Rose does have a lesbian bard main character who falls in love with a kickass tattoo witch. I love them, your honor.
Terry Pratchett
I mean, yeah, everyone recommends Terry Pratchett, and if they don't, it's because they haven't read his books in a while and forgot to recommend him. I really like his Death books, and the Samuel Vimes books. For the standalones in Discworld, I also really, really liked Small Gods and Monstrous Regiment. If you like my style of optimistic storytelling [no matter how dark, there is always a happy ending] read his books. And if you like RnS's existentialism, the idea of struggling with, and against, death, read Morte and Reaper Man. Especially Reaper Man.
The Ranger's Apprentice Series by Jonathan Langan
YA fantasy at its finest! If you like how I handle character dynamics and ride-or-die friendships, you will like these books. I was reading these books a lot when I started really really writing in high school, and I didn't realize just how much they inspired my writing style until I reread them last year. Rated PG, maybe PG-13 in the later books when the characters are older and the stakes are a little higher. It's a fun low fantasy world set in Basically England, and it's just. Nice. Will and Horace are so dear to me.
Also apparently he is restarting? The series? Rebooting? New protagonists. I haven't read any of them yet but I am looking very interestedly.
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More books in no particular order that I am recommending you read because I love them:
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House of Open Wounds by Adrian Tchaikovsky
High fantasy, PG-13, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Religious Persecution, Fantasy Nazis
This is the second book in a series, but I couldn't get into the first book and only read this one, whoops. This book basically poses the question: what if Small Gods by Terry Pratchett, but the last man on earth who believes in God isn't as nice, and has some major character flaws, and also doesn't like God. Also also, what if this was set in Fantasy World War 2, and he was forced to work for the Nazis. This book is very grim, and focuses on a medical unit during Magical World War 2. There are a lot of wound descriptions and war crimes. But it made me feel a lot of things, and I was genuinely upset one of the characters stayed evil at the end of the book. There is no Good and Evil in this story, only Evil and Morally Gray. If that isn't your thing, give it a pass, and I mean that. There are Themes here that are made to make you uncomfy. But there is also found family, and some really strong questions about religion and morals, and the book really makes you Think about the character decisions. I liked it a lot.
The Tainted Cup by Robert Jackson Bennett
High fantasy mystery thriller, R, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Language
Oh it's good. It's so good. Holmes and Watson style mystery in a world where everyone has biological mutations and enhancements powered by Kaiju that rise up every year to try and murder everyone. It's really cool. I was hooked from beginning to end. The main character is amazing, with hilarious deadpan humor, and his Holmes is an eccentric autistic woman with zero filter. The "Rated R for Language" above is 98% because of her.
[Note: I'm not an authority on good autistic representation, but I feel like she stands out as really well done. It makes more sense in the context of the novel, but she's created a space for herself where things like noise/light sensitivity are used to her advantage, hyperfixations are portrayed both as useful to her craft in research and a hazard to the people she's interrogating, and she has managed to trick half the cast into thinking her "quirks" are because of augmentations she doesn't have. It was a really cool and original way of putting autism into a character without infantilizing or "unfeeling logical machine"-ing them in the process. If that's something you've been looking for representation-wise, I think this is worth checking out.]
Aside aside, the world building is cool. The characters are cool. They mystery makes sense. I just. I can't talk about this book too much or I'll tell you the whole story. I get too excited.
Aliens: Phalanx by Scott Sigler
Sci-fi horror, PG-13, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Language
Ever wanted to get into the Aliens franchise but thought the sci-fi was a little much? Ever wanted to know how medieval peasants would handle a xenomorph invasion? Do I have the book for you!
This book is sci-fi horror that takes a turn for the vengeful at the end. Made me feel a lot of things. Got really emotional over some of the character deaths. But when the characters win, they win big, and their achievements feel weighty. You really get the sense of human tenacity clawing life back from the jaws of post-apocalypse. And also? Xenomorphs? Cool? If you've seen the movies, you'll really appreciate how this book takes the conventional tropes and spins them. And if you haven't, the story attacks them in an original way that explains it to the uninitiated. If you know nothing about the movies you will still know what's going on.
Penric's Demon by Lois McMaster Bujold
Fantasy adventure, PG-13, Minor depictions of violence, mystery/puzzle elements
Fun books? Fun books. Ever wondered what would happen if an uninitiated, but very kind and sweet 18 year old boy was possessed by an ancient demon with a great sense of humor and near limitless power? Now you know! Penric and his demon Desdemona have fantastic rapport, and every book in the series just further cements how awesome their relationship is. Fast little reads in a great little universe. And the gods are cool.
The Traitor Son Cycle by Miles Cameron
Epic fantasy, R, Graphic Depictions of Violence, major and minor character death, sexual themes, language
Gritty realistic knights -- fighting very unrealistic magical creatures. They're outmatched, but not out skilled! Especially with the Red Knight leading the way. These books had just, an awesome way of drawing me in. Cool world, interesting if flawed characters, and a growth arc that turns an entire company of criminals and mercenaries into basically paladins. Plus there is an awesome overarching plot involving god-like dragons and angels.
The only downsides to this series is there are a lot of characters and POVs, and the author is not afraid to kill them off at a moment's notice. Characters you've grown to love over three books will be killed off screen when a monster took flight, or a boglin hoard swarmed the front lines. I won't finish the final book in the series because I will be uh, incredibly pissed if one of my favorite characters dies, and I'm getting the vibes she probably will >:/
Alas, this is the nature of grim-dark fantasy.
Cameron has written other books under different pseudonyms, but to date this series is the only one that's really sunk its teeth in me.
Covenant of Steel Trilogy by Anthony Ryan
Low Fantasy, R, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major and minor character death, religious persecution, language, sexual assault
What happens when a criminal's entire crew is slaughtered for their crimes, and the only survivor turns into a religious zealot? No wait come back it's good I promise! The Pariah starts pretty grim and heavy. We reach our character's emotional low point about a third of the way through the first book, but what blooms from that is a slow burn about faith, and the danger of a Saint who gets to build her own radicalozed morality, rising on the tide of her faithful followers. It is all told in memoir format by the main character, before the final chapters where we get a sense of his here and now, which is a format that Ryan loves writing in [his Bloodsong series does this as well, and while that series is good, it's clear every fumble he made writing that he tried to fix writing CoS]. If I had to really pin this book down, I would have to say it's the story of Joan of Arc if she had actually succeeded in her crusades, and how dangerous she would have been because of the blindness of her followers and her own feelings of personal holiness. The main character even falls for her charms, heck, I as a reader fell for her charms. It was only after she started massacring "heretics" that I started to go, "Wait a fucking second, she's the antagonist???" If you like really intense stories about how insidious the side of "good" can be, and the terrors of religion, and just the epic slow burn of that building up and breaking down, give this a read. However, this is a very dark series. Read with caution and care. By the end I was very burnt out on all the death and atrocity.
Cold Storage by David Koepp
Thriller/horror, PG-13, Depictions of Violence, Fungi-based body horror, Language
Not nearly as intense of the last rec! Cold Storage is the story of a mutated mold spore that works just like that stuff that makes ants do weird things -- but to people! Oh and also it's about some really funny main characters that don't know it exists, even though it's growing right below their feet. A lighter read that will give you some good scares, and a pair of characters you're desperately rooting for. I love it :3 it's a fun romp. Mind the exploding deer.
Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells
Sci-fi, PG-13, Depictions of Violence, Language
Another fun romp! Murderbot is a security unit made to protect humans -- and it's hacked its programming and just wants to sit down and watch TV all day. Unfortunately, humans are very good at getting themselves killed, and SOMEONE has to keep them safe. At least Murderbot is programmed to do it correctly.
This story starts as fun sci-fi, and as the books progress, really breaks down the lines between human sentience and... Well, any other sentience. It asks hard questions about whether something Must be human in order to be accepted in a society, and how badly we as people want to fit everything into understandable boxes -- even if the things we want to understand don't fucking like it, thank you very much! There's a lot of fun action, a lot of characters that have really won my heart, and, man, I just want Murderbot to be happy.
The Blacktongue Thief by Christopher Buehlman
High fantasy, R, graphic depictions of violence, sexual assault, language, major character death
A thief accosts a knight on the road -- and ends up going on a road trip with her filled with witches, monsters, giant corvids, man-eating goblins, giants, and more! All to save a princess. This book really grew on me when I read it a second time. The magic system is cool, the world building is stellar, the goblins and giants are fucking scary. The character has a dirty mouth and his humor runs to the toilet a lot, so keep that in mind. This is by far the lightest and funniest book Buehlman has ever written though, so if you like it, brace yourself for grim dark if you read the rest of his work. Especially if you read Between Two Fires.
There's my book recs! Have fun!
#spazzcat barks#book recs#book recommendations#spazzcat reads#spazzcat books#i read over 100 books last year#and reading this list it really fucking shows pffpfpfpfff
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The battle of the Mothers of Victory (handle with caution)
Disclaimer: This is not a prediction or a theory, it's my thought process. This is how I roll at first and then I rule out stuff as I see fit, so BEAR WITH ME.
So, first thing that came to mind was:
"OMFG! That tells me all I need to know, that's Tiff’s wedding. Syd and Donna sitting at the same table in a family event. I am losing my mind IF syd is Carmy's +1. Maybe they are not showing him at the wedding bc it would be too obvious if they spoiled rn that she was his +1. I’m pretty sure Syd was his +1... OMFGGGG!
BUT, I said IF. FML
She may have attended the wedding with Luca.
FUCK!”
And then the overthinker in me took over and ... it didn't go that well.
What we know
is that C was there, Carmy was there and Syd was there too. We don't know about Luca, that's the wildcard.
And we also know that Shapiro's subplot was already closed and archived long before Syd even got invited to the wedding, that's why she's there, so YAY! 💅 and we also know there was a fight between Carmy and C on the street at Syd’s place:
What we don't know
is the ORDER of the scenes.
IK it looks like Syd and Carmy at the wedding pissed C off and someway somehow C ended up knocking on Syd’s door and Carmy got the door and then C stormed out and Carmy went after her and they had a fight.
Remember my theory about → territory? Well, no wonder the C person stormed out IF that was the case... LOL!
Wishlist
I hope that the order of the scenes was precisely that one. BUT the truth is we don't know. The teaser could be a red herring. IDK... The wedding seems too early in the season to be such a Sydcarmy catalytic event.
But we could be right!🤩
I wish the footage of that fight, which I went over 1000 times already and couldn't see WTF were they wearing, was better bc I could confirm the potential chronological order based on their outfits.
IF the fight happened after the wedding we’re golden!
Moreover: If that's the case WTH was Carmy doing at Syd's place after the wedding? THAT'S THE MEAT OF THE MATTER.
Too good to be true...
Let's calm the fuck down.
Having said that, I'm not complaining…
😍😍😍😍
#MANIFESTING
Bonus track: Maybe if we all think about this together I can calm the fuck down faster. LMK what you, chefs, think.
Are you pessimistic or optimistic? Scratch that! That's the WRONG QUESTION. The right one is: What do you think Storer would do? (Argument pls)
I'm all eyes👀
Related notes:
#the bear#sydcarmy#sydcarmy meta#gingerpovs#sydney adamu#donna berzatto#the battle of the mothers of Victory#carmy berzatto#the bear fx#carmy x sydney#carmen berzatto#the bear hulu#syd x carmen#claire who?#the bear season 4#the bear season 4 preview#the bear meta#i bet its not what we think but better
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i'm leaving the fandom
so i already posted about this on twitter with a shorter explanation but after a long while of being in the undertale fandom, i've decided to distance myself from it. i'm not sure if i'll ever make a public return on any of these accounts, but for now i've decided that i feel this is what's best for me mentally.
i'm kind of surprised i haven't already, to be honest, but i guess for a good while i was able to focus on the passion and love i had for the game. nowadays, i've been finding it harder and harder to interact with the fandom as a whole - for a multitude of reasons really.
many of you are already aware i went through a stalking incident over asgore discourse, which lasted from late 2019 to 2023. it was the most traumatizing years of my life, and i don't even remember a time where i actually felt at peace with myself during those years. the only time i remember being happy was pouring all of my focus onto undertale even harder, just to try and cope with what was going on. it didn't help that at the time, my abusive family was blaming me for being stalked and telling me i was just doing this all for attention and that i loved the "drama" of it.
i really didn't want to do this, because it feels like such a huge betrayal of everything i've loved for so long (hi, i'm autistic and undertale was my special interest, in case you haven't noticed yet LOL) but at this point i associate too many traumatic memories with undertale, specifically the fandom.
since getting more into steven universe and browsing the fandom casually it made me realise just how toxic the undertale fandom is as a community right now. i mean, let's be real, it's always been this way, but i feel like it's gotten a whole lot more worse lately - more insane.
it honestly felt like such a huge breath of fresh air to go into a fandom tag that Didn't have any toxic sludge or people discoursing about liking certain characters (cough Asgore cough) and whether or not that makes you a bad person. it felt like total whiplash, seeing people discussing a show they liked and sharing fanart instead of seeing constant discourse about it.
i've also been seeing a lot of my friends go through absolute fucking bullshit lately, and it's honestly really stressful because it felt like my stalker incident was becoming a more popularized and public sentiment in the fandom. which... honestly is scary to me. people are becoming more openly hostile, more openly insane with their accusations. i've been trying to remain hopeful and optimistic about the fandom, but the more things that have happened, the less hopeful i feel.
i don't want to be in this sort of community. i don't want to be in a community where people feel glee in hurting others, tearing other people down and slinging around serious accusations because it makes them feel powerful.
i want to be in a community/fandom that makes me feel actual joy, and not a constant source of stress.
there's also another reason why i decided to distance myself online rn as well, and it's not really related, but it was enough that i feel incredibly uncomfortable going by the name "pixie" rn.
last year, a youtuber i knew decided to put me on blast and straight up called me an abuse apologist and that i should be avoided at all costs, all bc i quietly distanced myself from posting publicly about the situation and decided to avoid jumping to conclusions.
i don't entirely blame them, since there's definitely things i feel i could have done better, but a lot of what they said was already privately resolved between us, and they left a lot of that out in order to paint a false narrative about me. i mean they literally had saved hundreds of deleted posts from my deleted old social media accounts. i know this because they've done this before with other people. i also know that this comes from a place of hurt and anger, they're lashing out at a community they felt hurt by, but their way of coping with it isn't healthy.
because they had thousands of followers, i started getting a ton of harassment, from people saying i wasn't trustworthy and calling me an abuse apologist, and even private nasty dms i don't really want to get into.
i didn't say anything at the time bc i was worried i'd come across as attention seeking/manipulative but. i became straight up actively suicidal after this. i was convinced nothing was going to ever get better for me and that i was an active danger to everyone. my mum ended up dragging me all the way to the city literally just to buy me the macbook i wanted in order to try and cheer me up, and even then i felt so depressed that i felt like i didn't have anything to look forward to. honestly the only thing that really kept me going was my friends privately supporting me.
to put it short, it felt like a repeat of my stalker situation and i don't feel comfortable going by pixie anymore because i associate so much trauma with that name right now. i feel like so many people who don't have good faith intentions know me as that name, more than people i'm friends with.
i don't even know if i'll ever post on social media ever again, or at least not in the way i used to. if i do end up making a new social media with a new rebrand, you won't hear from me about it. i want to be more private now.
tl;dr if you're still reading this, thank you for sticking by me for so long. this ended up being a lot longer than i anticipated, but i think i'm done with the name "pixie", and i think i'm done with the undertale fandom for now.
i know i'll be able to move on into a better place once i move forward to this chapter.
thanks for the memories.
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✎📃Dottore studying headcanons📚
Back again with more Dottore content. This is a bit of a mix between a modern au but still somehow compliant with Genshin? Idk I just wanted to write ab him studying and projecting finding inspiration in my own life without having to explain how he has access to YouTube in his akademiya days okay? Anyways enjoy and make sure to study if you happen to be procrastinating at the moment (I will know)!
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Dottore study headcanons
Probably the type that ultra-focuses on the material in front of him leading to generally neglecting any and all other needs until he physically can't anymore (nearly burnt down his dorm via hair catching fire from a candle when he fell asleep at the desk)
Thinks he's above attending lectures so he'd definitely be that one student that never shows up but still ends up acing the exams.
Fully believes that he must achieve a state of total focus to optimize his brain. This starts as threatening the other students into leaving him alone as he studies, drawing the curtains and shutting out all other distractions. Probably spent too much on finding a good noise-cancelling headset.
After getting kicked out gracefully parting ways with the akademiya he devoted some time to trying to find ways to improve his focus even more. I'm talking full blown rounds of experimentation with different methods such as binaural beats (actually works tbh), sensory deprivation tanks etc. Sort of how greater lord rukkhadevata would shut herself away to meditate, but he would never admit how similar their methods are.
Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if the original Dottore is just floating in a state of meditation rn trying to achieve max brain power (legit a headcanon for me now lmao).
Seeing as he probably doesn't sleep much, especially when in the thick of experiments he tries his best to compensate in other ways. He drank an inhuman amount of coffee or energy drinks (or both at the same time tbh) until he grew a tolerance to all forms of caffeine and is now forced to actually sleep once in a while.
He is intimately familiar with is work area and instantly knows where everything is. To outsiders it looks like a mess of various documents, piles of paper, supplies and mechanical parts. Often he asks a new intern to fetch him a sheet or something and they'll spend hours looking for it in the raven's nest that man calls an office. Then he'll show up pissed as hell like "It was under the desk next to the 3rd used energy core. Are you really that stupid?".
When he's in the zone he's deathly silent, his eyes laser focused on whatever page or machine he's trying to figure out. An observer might be afraid he'll burn a hole trough the object with his eyes. This is probably the only time he doesn't wear his mask as he doesn't want anything to obstruct him. Archons couldn't help the unfortunate soul who dares to interrupt him in this state. Instant volunteer for his next experiment.
Pantalone once decided to gift him with an expensive stationery set in a desperate attempt to get him to organize his study. It included quills, ink, various highlighters and organizers all in pastels with cute motifs. "To bring some positivity to the gloomy atmosphere around you!". Dottore claimed to hate it but was seen months later using a kitten-themed notepad at one of his labs.
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Another post, another slay (probs a flop). I'm currently taking a half-voluntary gap year because I decided to switch universities a little too late in the year oops. And honestly in this time I've realized how much I thrive in the academic environment and I miss studying so much! Idk might sound a bit too optimistic coming from someone who's currently not under any pressing deadlines or tests but I really do miss it. As much as I hated crunching the night before a test and stressed about the material I believe it's an environment I truly thrive in. I really do find such comfort in being able to take notes, discuss with classmates and professors. It's probably one of the many reasons I find Dottore relatable. We both share such a thirst for knowledge and focus way too much on our favorite subjects. I'm rambling, sorry. Thank you so much for reading and please don't be shy to send me asks or comments with ideas you'd like me to expand upon. I'm still pretty new to writing in fandom space so I'd really be grateful to get feedback and see what the community wants lol.
Have a good day! ❀
#I need to see dottore just focusing on some difficult lab results with his messy hair and bags under eyes#he's so hot omg#dottore#genshin dottore#dottore headcanons#pantalone#fatui harbingers#genshin headcanons#study headcanons#not beta read
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honestly, i am SO beyond worried for zoro at this point in terms of his Emotional state cause like ???? man's feel like he hasn't really had a chance for his feelings to blow up in his face yet cause He Keeps Shoving Everything Down For The Sake Of Doing His Job / literally trying to constantly keep everyone (else) alive. (also cause idk why but something about zoro these days just feels like there's some kinda tickling clock over his head since we basically know all the other strawhats inside & out, but zoro's story is like So Bare Bones i feel idk yes, i'm looking at you specifically, wci) that's not even getting into my fear for his PHYSICAL state cause that injection Dr. Goat Man (i forgot his name rn) gave him being like This Adrenaline Shot Will Keep You Going But It'll Only Multiply Your Pain Afterwards or whatever and like 👁️👁️ i know he was out for like two weeks i think post-wano so that was probably his body resting up since then but like .... M A N .
🤝 you and me both. its hard to tell if oda is going somewhere with it all or if zoros already had all the story oda is going to tell. i hope not but. it would be kind of poetic to have zoros arc be at the end since he was the second main character introduced and the past chapters seem to be building up towards some kind of confrontation
in general zoro has been a lot more tense since the time skip which is to be expected
like zoro understands their position more than most and has seen and has carried the consequences of them not being prepared before
its very oldest sibling of him. like i cant have fun i need to think about what everyones having for dinner
like he was fucking stressed getting off egghead bc they were being persued by an elder when he was already exhausted from fighting lucci. people say he was being prideful for not wanting to abandon the lucci fight as if zoro isn’t perfectly fine with running away (ive gone into it before but tldr zoros insisted beating lucci so lucci wouldnt fucking snitch on their escape route - which then of course happened)
not to mention this whole thing
even after that hes still very serious but hes always been more concerned than luffy about things
(tho oda splitting the group up gives me hope bc less people means he has more time for each of them)
regarding the wano fight… i want there to be more to it but again, not sure if its not already “done” from oda’s perspective. i hope its not but etc etc
like you cant just drop literal death and just never mention it again (please)
(it reminds me of the critical role vox machina campaign where a character died and made a deal with a death goddess to remain with the party until the quest was done so by the end he was taken away - love the drama of it all but hope thats not it)
maybe in the new arc thriller bark will come up again. bonney has kumas memories so she knows now as do brook robin and sanji. if sanjis allowed to be a real character and have some more plot maybe his “germa transformation” will make him be an asshole and tell everyone.
(im hoping that odas friendship with zoros live action actor will make him give him more material tbha gdjhahs)
but yeah we will have to wait and see. considering oda has been pretty good about payoff so far im cautious optimistic but im not holding my breath
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