#I'm not good with colouring so it is how it is

[cosmos-kitty]

Do you have any tips for painting with gouache? like how do you get it to stay a nice solid color over a large swath of paper? and how do you blend it so seamlessly?

Of course, here's a few pointers off the top of my head:

1. I've used gouache for this in the past so it's possible, but the flat backdrop on my latest WIP is actually acrylic! A nifty thing I've found about putting a layer of acrylic down, is that it creates a barrier once dried and essentially makes the paper waterproof. This means you can work in gouache on top without it mixing with the background, and you can wet a section and completely wipe it clean with a cloth/tissue and it won't disturb the acrylic layer underneath. It also makes the paper more resilient, and you don't get as much pilling/tearing from the moisture

To get an even wash it's mostly getting the right consistency, I add just a little water - enough that the paint is less "tacky" as you drag your brush along paper, but not so much that it's runny or translucent. It takes a couple of attempts sometimes!

2. Also for the current WIP that I posted earlier, like the vast majority of my traditional pieces, keep in mind that it's mixed media. So I assume you're referring to the blue-green gradient on the bird and wondering how I got the gouache to blend like that - it's actually colouring pencils! I'll often switch between dry and wet media, even layer them back and forth, whatever makes the most sense to get the effect I want 😁

3. On that note, when you're working with paint, or any medium really, I can't recommend enough having a "test" sheet that you do both before and during a traditional piece. It allows you try out different medium combos, see what shade your gouache will dry into, and catch any issues before it ends up on your artwork. I often see artists being encouraged to just Bob Ross their way through a piece, the idea being that you'll just have happy little accidents that you'll naturally work into the piece - maybe, but you'll also possibly irreversibly wreck your hard work and have to start again. I don't know, I'm just a methodical person I guess, but seeing someone just directly apply something to the page when they're not sure what it's going to do makes me wince - no two art supplies are the same! All of those paints and pens have different chemical makeups, there's an unlimited number of ways what you're using could interact, good or bad.

Since it's already there, I usually reuse one of the leftover failsons from the process of making the wash background, then test everything on top of that. That way you can see exactly what shade the paint will dry on top of whatever colour the background is:

Doesn't need to look good, nobody sees it (usually) and you can also test the thickness of your brushstrokes while you're at it.

Anyway, I hope this helps!

[sxorpiomooon]

your first ever own home - a pac reading

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pile 1-

You'll play alot of songs while cooking, cooking will actually become sort of your religion. Something stupid is playing in my head while a girl tries to pick up a very hot container and slightly burns her finger. You are very poetic if you are not yet you will be. I see you writing alot I think alot of you will want an open home. Open doesn't mean big it just means that you would want it to have big windows and you'll keep them open so that the wind can flow. This pile will love living alone they'll love to make food for themselves while dancing. Living by themselves in their own apartment will be like a religion to them. I see you guys rushing back home whenever you are out because your home truly will feel like home. You won't style it that much but it will be very comfortable i see light colour sheets and curtains flowing wind chimes? I'm also seeing frames haha you might have a wall dedicated to that only ooooo I'm also seeing a good scenary it'll be at a good place sort of like the house that ask 101 boy lived in. There might be alot of birds chirping around I'm getting turkey and Italy etc. Some of you are going to be writers or this might be during your 20s for sure.

Pile 2-

This is going to be at an old house the type of house that others might have not really wanted to buy because it's old or something? I also think for some of you this is going to be your old family home or related to that I see alot of memories. This house might have alot of memories of its own which is precisely why you'll choose it. Vienna started playing in my head. Do you guys like how much love old things hold? Do you like dedications piano and finding old love letters? I see you actually not making much changes to this house I heard "this house has a spirit of it's own". This pile very much believes in a house having a spirit or personality of their own. I see some sort of photo frame that's going to be there. There will be stuff of the previous owners that you'll keep and I also see you going on alot of first online dates? Lmao this pile might also like to play those vinyl records and drink white wine. I see this pile being more in their 30s? Or more mature than the other one. There's a sense of being very authentic so much that it almost scares others to this pile which I absolutely love. I also see a new beginning

Pile 3-

LMAOO this pile will be at their all time high some of you very few are going to gain alot of popularity as soon as you step into your career or might be given this house by some other people. I just see you receiving money instantly and then you quickly investing it in a house. The only issue is that instead of trying find a home you'll buy a house. I dont see this pile staying here alot as well? This will mainly be because of your work schedule and also because this won't feel like home and won't call out to you. I'm getting the age of 24 but def will buy it young without much thinking, will have no time because of career and then will buy another one after ages of thinking. Strange but I keep getting aries perhaps venus in Aries or something and a very loud and busy city.

[captain-bubble-wrap]

I WANT MORE SICK QUINN PLEASE

Okay, babes! More sick Quinn it is!

"Oh baby, you look awful."

"Good morning, to you, too," Quinn answered, his eyes half open. His voice sounded like he was talking with his nose pinched closed. You knew when he went to bed last night he was getting sick; you had heard it through the phone. So, when you got the message this morning that he needed you to come over, you made a stop at the pharmacy before his apartment. And it was a good thing, too. 

He was on the sofa, legs pulled up to his chest with a blanket draped over his head and wrapped around him like a sick Halloween ghost. His colour was off; washed out and grey-like, and he was breathing out of his mouth with a rattle in his chest. 

"I'm sorry," you replied softly, removing your shoes and coat at the door. The lights were off when you had got in, but you didn't question it. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I look: awful, apparently." 

Hurting his feelings wasn't what you had wanted to do, but it was too late for that now. "I shouldn't have said what I did. I didn't mean for it to--"

"It's fine." Quinn's tone was sharp and flat and he wasn't looking at you. Those two little words had stung, causing you to remain at the door longer than you should have, hesitant to go any further. After a moment, realizing that your words meant nothing and that he wasn't going to apologize either, you grabbed the two bags you had brought with you and walked into the kitchen. 

From across the island, you could see him sitting on the sofa, his head never moving to look over his shoulder at what you were doing. It was like you weren't even there. He was sensitive, you knew that, but this was the first time he had been so irritable. 

With the lights off and all of the floor-length curtains drawn, it was near impossible to do what you needed to by the light of the television in the other room. 

"May I turn the lights on?" You asked, hoping he wouldn't find a reason to get moody over a simple question. 

"Sure," he said, still just a flatly as before. Quinn pulled the blanket further over his head before slumping over onto his side, like he was trying to hide from the impending light. 

His apartment's lights were all on dimmers, so you made sure the kitchen one was on the lowest setting possible before flipping the switch. Light sensitivity: migraine, and the possible reason for his shitty mood. Hurrying, you unpacked everything that you had bought before shutting the light off. You remembered the range hood had a light and one that wouldn't affect him anymore than the tv he was in front of, but at least you would be able to see what you were doing. You looked back towards the sofa where Quinn was still wrapped up tight. Knowing you had to talk to him, you buried your pride, and went back to the living room. 

"Migraine?" You asked him, your free hand touching his shoulder through the blanket, rubbing his back gently. 

"Yeah." 

"Will you look at me, please?"

After what felt like the longest moment, Quinn revealed his face from his private blanket fort. "Why don't you sit up and take these? It will help with the headache. And I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I didn't mean for it to come off like it did."

He didn't say anything at first as he forced himself back up. He would take the two pills and water from you and you would leave him alone. Back in the kitchen, you kept your back to him, your arms crossed. You had wanted to make things easy on him today, but now you wondered when he would tell you just to go. Things felt like they were spiraling faster than you could set them right. All just because of one poorly placed comment; one that you didn't mean to come off as serious. 

You were so deep in your own thoughts, you hadn't heard Quinn shuffle from the living room to where you were in the kitchen. His reaching out to touch your arm had startled you and he withdrew his fingers immediately. 

"Sorry," he mumbled, still draped with the blanket. 

You glanced at him for only a moment, "You're fine."

"I don't feel good," Quinn sighed, stepping forward a couple steps to stand right in front of you. He leaned forward to lay his head against your shoulder. He felt hot with fever, and you couldn't help but wrap your arms around him. 

"I know you don't, baby."

'I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"It's okay." 

Quinn leaned his entire body weight against you, like he was trying to find comfort in any way that he could. Your fingers would trail up and down his back until he decided to move. 

"Everything hurts," he confessed, his eyes pleading for an answer as to why he felt so bad. 

"Can you tell me what you're feeling?"

"Uh, the migraine. I can't breathe. My throat is sore. I'm coughing up green stuff. My body hurts so bad I could seriously cry. I'm cold yet I'm sweaty. I don't know what's going on with me."

His voice had never sounded so pathetic the whole time you had known him, and it hurt you to hear him struggling with so much. 

"Have you taken a Covid test yet?"

"No."

"It wouldn't hurt to take one."

"Okay," he whined, pulling himself from your body as you allowed your arms to fall away from his. "I don't know if I have any left."

"I grabbed some this morning," you remembered, looking through things to find the box. "Here."

Quinn tore open the kit. He fumbled with the contents before finally swabbing his nose and applying it to the test kit. Despite having been so close to you just moments ago, realizing that he could have Covid had made him stand a ways away from you. It didn't take long for the test to read positive, making his fears worse. 

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, his eyes falling closed with a sigh.

"Honey, it's fine. These things happen."

Quinn looked over at you, eyes heavy with guilt. "I probably just got you sick."

"I'm not worried about that," you reassured, your hand touching his cheek after closing the gap between you both. "I could use a few days off from work anyways."

"I didn't want you to get sick. I shouldn't have messaged you to come over."

"Shh, baby, baby, baby," you soothed. "I'll be okay."

He paused, "I've got to tell the team."

"Why don't you go get into bed, message Rick, and I'll deal with all of this stuff, okay?"

Quinn only nodded and slowly took off towards his bedroom. From the open door, you could hear Quinn on the phone, relaying the news of his positive test and that he would miss the next game slotted for tomorrow evening. The call didn't seem to last very long, and you'd enter the room after you were positive he was off the phone, so as not to interfere. 

"You didn't have to wait out there," Quinn spoke, once you joined him. "It wasn't anything that important."

"I know, but it wasn't my business," you smiled, sitting on the edge of the bed beside him. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah," he remarked, "Just have to do what I did before. He wants me to re-test in four days and go from there."

Reaching forward, you smoothed his wild curls and felt his forehead again making sure you hadn't imagined the fever. However, he was still quite warm to the touch. Quinn searched your face for reassurance before asking you anything.

"Is it bad?"

"Your fever? No, I don't think so. Hopefully it breaks soon, which should make you feel a lot better. Let me go get you some more water, okay?"

"Okay," he sighed, pulling the duvet up around himself with a bit of a struggle. 

"I just feel like shit," he said with a sigh, his congestion somehow sounding worse just before he had a sneezing fit. 

You weren't gone but a minute, but when you came back, he was looking at you like you had forgotten him for hours.

"What's wrong, Quinn?" You asked him, putting a few bottles down on his nightstand. 

"Oh, bless you, sweetheart."

"Ugh, I'm so over this." Quinn blew his nose before falling back into his pillows. 

You frowned, running your hand through his hair, standing beside his side of the bed. "I'm sure you are. I'm sorry."

"Would you lay down with me, babe? Since I've already probably given it to you..." He dropped off, feeling bad about asking you to come over.

Smiling, you leaned down to kiss his forehead one more time. "Of course. Do you need anything else before, though?"

"No," he said, pushing back the blankets to make it easier on you to find him beneath the layers. "Just you."

[copperrook]

Eugene's robe is real and it is mine.

You'll forgive me for not wearing it off-shoulder right at the mo, since Tumblr has a problem with tiddies and all.

Construction details under the cut

Now if you read my tags on the previous post, you'll know that it was my intention to make this robe out of some silk that had been languishing in my fabric storage, small problem though

Not all of it is black

(Left two are raw silk, different weights, right's a haboti silk scarf)

Now that's an easy enough fix

I did have to do about three passes to get them to match though, as black is a notoriously hard colour to dye

Next one must make a mock-up out of an inferior material, this here is poplin.

Now if you were just making this costume-quality, this material would be fine, slap on a collar, hem and overlock this guy and he'll do great, I'm just extra.

You'll also note the piecing on the shoulders here, that is because i did not have enough silk to cut it all in one piece

That picture to the right is how much in total was left as offcuts from all the silk used.

Fun huh?

Does also mean it's not floor length, but on the plus side it's my preferred length anyway

Eugene proper doesn't need to move his legs when walking after all

Anyways then it was just a matter of sewing the whole thing together (no pics, soz) most of it is machine sewn (silk thread) with top stitched flat felled seams, that includes the split in the back where it essentially runs from a flat felled seam to a hem by just pressing outwards and tucking under.

The entire collar was whipped stitched down on the inside within the seam allowance to avoid any top stitching lines on the outside or nasty flappy bits on the inside. (And because haboti LOVES to warp, which was not entirely circumvented with this method)

The arms eye seams were also hand finished with an invisible felling whip stitch, and the sleeve bottoms hemmed with a sort of invisible pad stitch.

The several days worth of hand stitching just listed is why this took me a while.

And so i chose a good-enough scarf for a shash-yeah jk i made the sash from scratch out of yet more Haboti silk and dyed it.

I don't think it's quite dark enough so I may dye it again later.

If you want a approx amount of fabric that's in this piece, the robe is a bit over 4 meters of silk Total?

And the sash is about 3mx70cm on top of that.

Now I'm gonna go luxuriate in this robe I stole from our fictional son, happy S3 E2 of Midnight Alley y'all!

[mimipolo]

nam-gyu hate fuck? Maybe hes pissed at you because you almost knocked him over in red light green light, and then had the audacity to click x at the vote. So when the lights go out he follows you to the bathroom?

Nam-gyu X reader

(nsfw)

I'll be honest I had no idea what I was doing at first but I swear I had an awakening half way through.

You'd pissed him all the way off now. He could put up with your teasing eyes and the way you managed to still look hot in a crappy tracksuit, even when you had the audacity to nearly knock him off the finish line in the first game . But why would you choose "o"??

His eyes glared daggers into your back as he watched you press "x" confidently as if you'd get away with it.

He'd make sure that wasn't the case.

Votings over and it's ended in a tie, everyone's tense and trying to convince the other to join their side. Amidst all this you slip away to go to the bathroom, he leaves the crowd slowly to follow suit.

You were just shaking off your wet hands when he swings open the bathroom door and casually walks in. He has his hands stuffed in his pockets and wearing an expression that just looks like he's plotting something. Why the hell is he in the woman's bathroom??

Immediately you recognised him as the guy always with Thanos, always just a step behind him ,but just as cunning. The only interaction you had was when his friend had made the odd attempt of hitting on you. But right now, he was nowhere to be seen.

"You went and chose "x" huh?"

You remain quiet, eyes darting around the bathroom as you back away from him but he grasps your arm suddenly making your heart jump.

"You're gonna ignore me now? You gotta mouth, speak."

"What's it matter to you what I chose."

You say through gritted teeth, nervous to speak up to him but also refusing to let him push you around. Your expression sours as he begins to grin wide, like he's pleased with your response and it'd justify what he's about to do.

"Vote "o" next round." He says harshly as he tugs you closer, his body close to yours. He only chuckles when you try to step away, grabbing your other arm to keep you near.

"That a no?" He's tilting his head down towards you, it's almost like he was hoping you'd go against him, you could hear his heartbeat as he eyed you over lustfully.

Unfortunately you had missed the arousal in his hate filled gaze as you spit back a "Hell no", you're being pulled into a bathroom stall before you could even think.

"How bout I convince you to choose "o" yeah? I'm pretty good." His words are smug as he has your back to the colourful stall wall, his hands already fumbling to unzip your tracksuit, kissing loudly at the skin of your neck. The whole situation had your hairs standing up on end, an alarming sense of arousal coursing through you.

A sharp bite to the curve of your shoulder has you flinching, a pained gasp escaping your lips as he looks up at you sadistically.

"I bite though, hard. But you'd probably like that, not even sayin' a thing."

"You asshole..."

You're left shocked by his lust coated words, your hands finally moving to grip his own tracksuit in an attempt to get him off but he's unfazed. Sucking and biting into your flesh as his hands reach down to rest on your hips, one sliding down the waistband of your sweats and into your pants.

You jolt violently at the intrusion, eyes widening in shock as you feel your resolve start to crumble. Your hands tightening around his clothes rather than pushing him away, craning your hips forward when cold ringed fingers press against those bundle of nerves. Shivering softly at the sensation, he just laughs at you, pulling down your tracksuit more for better access.

He didn't lie when he said he was good, each swerve of his fingers had you twitching against him, desperate for him to slip just one inside.

"You're wet from just this? Almost making me feel bad... but you've been the one teasing me this whole time."

"You're fucking crazy-" you manage to barely get out between gasps.

His tone still comes off as arrogant but you can hear him becoming breathless from just watching you crumble under his fingers. Two thick digits pushed inside you. Immediately taking him like you'd been hoping.

"Didn't even hav'ta push that much, you been fucking in this shitty place?"

The accusations make you whine softly as you squeeze around him, it's not true but something about the way he says it has you hooked. He was such an asshole, a sleeze and a junkie but you couldn't defend how you were murmuring against his chest for more.

"More? I knew you were just playing hard to get..."

What you didn't expect was for him to flip you on your back, hands roaming up your body to squeeze at the soft flesh as he presses his evident hard on against the curve of your ass.

"You'll never think of leaving after this." He hisses against the shell of your ear stripping himself down to line himself up against you. Before you could argue with him, even lie and say you'd vote "o" this time he's already inching himself inside you, a sharp jolt shooting through your senses. He's huffing and moaning when he bottoms out, not wasting a moment as he's already moving, making sure you take all of him as he pulls your hips back.

He's surprisingly slow, almost affectionately so. But his words are vulgar and degrading, his hands harshly grabbing anywhere they wished. Your arms are braced against the walls and your eyes squeezed shut with ecstasy as he softly reshapes you. It was like he was making sure you knew and remembered what he was doing to you.

You're honestly convinced he's louder than you, your voices filling the air as you take him. Eventually he gets desperate, his thrusts becoming sloppier and faster and his dirty words only getting whinier "such a slut", "just keep taking it."

Your stomach drops when you hear the bathroom door open, he's quick to silence you. Placing a firm hand over your mouth as his other hand reaches between your legs again to press roughly against your sensitive bud. He's biting his own lip to keep quiet as his hips shudder and he spills everything he's got in you, painting your walls thickly with his cum. He's murmuring and panting against your shoulder about how good you took him before slipping out of you.

He snickers quietly watching you almost fold when he releases his hold on you, pulling up your pants and sweats and sitting you down on the toilet seat.

"I trust you know what to vote, I'll come remind ya if you forget." He whispers as leans down to grin dazily at you, his eyes scanning your fucked out expression. Clearly happy with his work he kisses your cheek deceptively sweetly, before leaving the stall. You hear him wash his hands and whistle softly as he walks away, the creak of the bathroom door signalling his exit.

What the hell was that about...

[haikyu-mp4]

November

word count; 1033 – f!reader

Kozume Kenma did not want to be in the library right now. If he had his way, he would be asleep under a warm duvet all day now that classes had ended for the semester. Unfortunately, he had a lot to learn before exams, and there was no time to waste.

He chose a seat by the table in the back, which was only occupied by one other student, who he didn’t acknowledge at all. You eventually took notice of him, though. The cute guy with the outgrown bleach was looking down at his schoolwork with a frown, and you were very amused. You stretched your arm out to get his attention, and Kenma eventually looked up with a face that bridged between annoyed and confused. He looks like a kitten, you thought. "What did that book ever do to you?"

"It mocks my lack of will. So if you could try not to distract me, that would be great," he answered, which ended your conversation abruptly. You smirked to yourself, picked up a pen and got to work on your next drawing after taking a sip from your water bottle. Kenma calmly put on his headphones, a sign to please leave him alone.

After about half an hour, Kenma sat back in his seat to stretch. His spine cracked, and he clapped his cheeks to stay awake. You took this as your opportunity and flipped your drawing pad to show him the newest masterpiece. Kenma turned his head at the motion, and his face quickly fell in disbelief. You had drawn him how he looked today, except with ears and a nose that resembled a calico cat. He frowned when he noticed your wide and proud smile. Annoyingly enough, he was impressed by your unusual art style. When Kenma looked down at his notes again, he couldn't help the small smile that crept onto his face. A light rosy colour tinted his cheeks despite his efforts to stay cool, and your heart fluttered. Mission accomplished.

A week later, even closer to exams, Kenma made his way to the library again. To his surprise, the woman he still didn't know the name of was there too. With a quick rundown of positives and negatives in his head, he decided to take a seat across from you.

You sat like that every day for the whole school week. Kenma tried his best to cram as many facts as he could and actually started to feel like this exam might go well. He didn't quite know what the person across from him was working on, but you had several different coloured pens and even a small box of watercolours along with a brush that somehow stored the water you needed in the handle. He started wondering, and before he could stop himself, "Are you allowed to paint in here?"

Your eyes met, unconsciously having a staring contest for one too many seconds. Oh, so he wants to talk to me now? When his eyes wandered around your face and hands, he noticed that you weren’t exactly being careful with your colours either.

"No one has told me not to," you said slowly as if trying to convince him. A small smile graced his lips, and you felt greedy for more of it.

"Sounds like solid reasoning to me," Kenma agreed and leaned back in his chair. His hand lifted to point at the back of your large notepad, "What are you creating now, then?"

Abashingly, you turned it around. You had filled the whole page, and he recognised it as the library you were currently in, but with much more sunshine and colours, orange flowers growing from the books and pink cows making their way across the floor in the back. "I study visual arts. We have to create an exhibition, and my theme is perspective." His mouth fell open slightly as he nodded in understanding when you explained.

"It's cool. You're good at that." Kenma kept his voice low, and something about it was so enticing to you. He spoke so calmly and every emotion of his was a mystery. "I'm Kenma."

"I'm y/n." After settling down from your little conversation, you kept sipping from your water bottle. Kenma’s mouth dried every time he heard the sound. He did his best to clear his throat, realising he hadn’t brought anything to drink.

“Do you have an inspiration?” he asked, mostly wondering if you actually saw the words that way.

The corner of your mouth quirked. “I’ve always like games, it’s affected the way I see the world. Sorry, that probably sounds like childish imagination.”

Kenma thought back to the things he’d imagine when he ran in high school for volleyball practice. The way he’d make it into a game. “No, I… Uh, I totally get it.”

You two naturally fell into silent, individual work again. Kenma kept glancing over at your paintings, but whenever you met his gaze, he would look away. Eventually, the sun went down, and you both started clearing the table, silently packing everything into your bags. Come on, Kenma. Just smile at her and say something. However, somewhat luckily, you beat him to it.

"Hey, Kenma?" He lifted his head swiftly, eyebrows raised, happy that you started the conversation. "Do you want to get a drink?" You weren’t necessarily nervous, but undoubtedly hopeful for his answer. The corners of his mouth lifted in a kind, small smile. You had both picked up your bags and stood beside the table.

"A drink? Yeah, sure." Kenma’s voice sent a shiver down your spine again, and you straightened up with an even broader smile.

"Fun! Cool, cool, cool- The student bar?"

"I've only been there once or twice before, never saw the charm." The student bar had a certain vibe that didn't fit him when he just wanted to drink. A lot of people were there to socialise with new people, and Kenma was not interested.

"The beer is cheaper there," you said in a sing-songy voice to try and convince the handsome man. Kenma wasn't entirely convinced, but if you wanted to go there, then he wouldn't argue.

"Lead the way."

The Schoolyear Series ║ masterlist

[bellisima-writes]

10 People I'd Like to Know Better

Thanks for the tags @gaiaseyes451 and @beerok23!💜!💜

last song: Gloria by the Lumineers

favourite colour: Red, like a deep luscious red that you know would taste good if you licked it. Don't act innocent, you know exactly what I mean by that. Red is a color that you just know tastes good.

last book: I am currently trying to read the Witcher series (per @lickthecowhappy's suggestion) so I am at the start of the Last Wish

last movie: Moana 2 (I have young kidsssss)

last TV show: My oldest is almost 10 which means she stays up late. Which also means I have so little time to watch adult things. So we've been watching the Office with her. I think I want to watch the Good Place with her next tho (I've never watched it!)

sweet/spicy/savoury: Sweet followed very, very closely by spicy. Habanero maple syrup is one of my favorite things on the planet.

last thing i searched online: How to explain a 10 year career hiatus in a cover letter (looking to return to work since having kids. It's been an interesting experience so far).

current obsession: Have not moved on from Good Omens, but recently realized that my obsession may be more in my own little connected universe of fics that I wrote rather than the actual canon at this point😳. I'm sure once we get that first glimpse of red and white hair that will change very quickly.

looking forward to: Going back to work and having a more established adult life again, honestly. I've been so lucky to be home with my kids while they are young, but I am ready. And figuring out how my newfound passion for writing is going to fit into that new life of mine. Another big year of change over here for me, and I am eagerly looking forward to how the growing pains are going to make way for something beautiful beyond.

ten people i’d like to know better:

@addledmongoose, @di-42, @afrenchwriter, @haemey, @eybefioro, @alwaystuesday, @katspause, @alphacentaurinebula, @shadesofecclescakes, @ochre-sunflower and whoever wants to do it (but also feel free to ignore!)

[electricneonvalkyrie]

Abby notices when you’re depressed. Let’s talk about how she handles that as your partner.

These are modern Abby headcanons. The list was much longer, but I cut it down considerably to keep it from getting too long-winded. I do have a piece written for WLF Abby. If it's something you want to see, let me know.

Thanks for reading. I'm glad you're here.

• Maybe it’s a slow descent this time… little by little, losing interest in your favourite pastimes and finding it hard to discover meaning in daily life. In the midst of trying to survive, there is suddenly no room left for indulging in your hobbies.

Abby, with every random blanket and sheet she owns, constructs a blanket fort in the living room, offering a pressure-free zone where you can do nothing but feel completely safe and loved.

Super cozy, not too busy, and mega peaceful against the demands of a world that is asking far too much of you in this moment.

Does she deep-dive Youtube tutorials on how to build epic forts that probably belong in a magazine? I mean, yeah. Give her a break, alright? Complete dedication is the way this girl operates, and I’ll die on that hill. Also, Abby is a tall, sturdy girlie, and she needs to fit inside it with you. If you’re going to live in this fort together for the foreseeable future, she needs it to be good for you.

Now, if you want an enormous blanket hanging precariously off the side of the couch with a half-dead flashlight and crinkled comics shoved underneath some pillows, date Ellie. Still cute, still the thought that counts, but she’s no Abigail it’s my mission to save you Anderson.

• Abby stocks up on all your go-to snacks because she gets that it's hard to think about the basics when you're too bone-tired to move… nevermind prioritizing measly things like providing yourself sustenance. She’s got you covered.

• She refuses to let you marinate in the feeling of being a burden. She shuts that shit down fast.

“You’re my person, okay? I’m not going anywhere. End of story.”

• Abby grew up around doctors, so she'll for sure be the one to look up therapists and leave the info pinned to the fridge beneath a small magnet that is, of course, a laminated photo of the two of you on your first date. She describes it as the most important day of her life and brings it up regularly.

“You know, I’ve seen this picture a hundred times, but every time I look at it, it hits me all over again—how much that day meant to me.” Her voice dips low as she confesses something so immensely sacred to her. “The day I realized you weren’t just someone I wanted in my life. I’d been waiting for you without even knowing it. I thought I had it all figured out before you. Fuck, was I ever wrong.”

(Just know there's no rush to decide anything big when it comes to choosing a method of healing, but it's there when you're ready.)

• On your hardest days, she stays close, but she doesn’t push. She’ll busy herself with repairs around the home or folding the mountain of laundry shoved up against the wall in your bedroom.

• Abby loves to buy those cute nightlights with little animals on them or the ones that change colours, and she scatters them around the house. When you’re lost in the darkness, right?

• She serves you warm drinks in your favourite mug and nothing else. She’ll handwash it a million times a day if she must.

• Abby's phone chirps with little alarms throughout the day, reminding her to do something special for you. This is all the time, not just when you’re depressed, to be certain.

• Weighted blankets everywhere. Vehicles included.

• I don’t care what anyone says, Abby is soft as a motherfucker, okay? Is she rough around the edges? Maybe. Yes. 100%. Fine, she’s a hot mess, but will she read you poetry aloud, until her voice is hoarse, and her lips go dry? Without a doubt. There are sticks and jars of lip ointment all over the place wherever Abby resides.

Fun fact: Abby hates when her lips feel dry, even slightly. She is constantly reaching for ChapStick and all its cousins. Whenever someone tells her she should stop using her precious lip stuff because it will improve the sensory nightmare in the long run, she’ll immediately do that pouty, nose crinkle thing at them and ignore the advice without a breath.

• Abby lets you wear all her sweaters. That’s a given. But when you’re depressed, she tends to reach for yours as well. It helps her feel close to you when she’s dealing with her own inner turmoil.

• She doesn’t fuck around when she senses you’re starting to spiral. Her routines are extremely important to her, but she will put them on pause to be there for you.

Now, does she gently, lovingly, force your ass to go on walks with her to get some fresh air somewhere you feel comfortable? Yeah, she does. This might be annoying at times when you’re really struggling, and she knows it. She’ll still encourage movement in a way that is manageable for you if leaving the house is too daunting.

If that means you’re standing on her feet, arms wrapped around her neck while she sways side to side with you, so be it.

• She'll binge-watch your favorite shows and movies with you until she drains all the power in the entire city.

• Abby won't make you feel awkward if you cry. She'll just start crying, too, even if she tries so hard not to. She gets better at keeping it to a little glossy eyed moment, but sometimes your pain is her pain, and the dam just… breaks.

• Abby is an actions over words type of human. She’s a doer. Also, timing doesn’t matter much to her. She is desperate to give you a future to believe in because she is so certain that what the two of you share is everlasting.

Abby proposes to you when your hair is a mess, and you’ve been in the same pajamas for days. Fuzzy teeth? Fear not. She isn’t afraid of the hard times. Her love is an anchor. A constant.

She wants to remind you that you’ll never have to face your dark times alone.

Shadows dance on the tapestry walls of the blanket fort, illuminated by the warm, flickering lights hanging inside. Across from you, Abby lounges with her legs stretched out and her back propped against a pile of soft pillows. She’s quiet for a moment, fiddling with something in her hands.

“You know,” she begins, her voice gentle and husky, like gravel smoothed by unrelenting water. “When I was little, I used to make forts like this with my dad. We’d sit in the middle of all the chaos and just… talk about random shit. Nothing outside could touch us.”

As she glances at you, there is a small, almost shy smile playing on her lips.

“That’s what this feels like—being with you. Even when everything else seems like it’s falling apart, you’re my safe place.”

Abby leans forward, her knees brushing yours, and you realize she’s holding a small velvet box. Her confidence wavers, revealing a hint of vulnerability you rarely see.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while. About us—what we mean to each other.” Her voice cracks a little, causing her to pause and clear her throat before she continues.

“I know you’ve been feeling lost. And I know I can’t fix it, even when it kills me—even when all I want to do is make the hurting go away. But I can promise you this...”

She opens the box, the ring glimmering in the soft light, her affectionate, earnest gaze meeting yours.

"I promise you'll always have someone by your side to help you through it. No matter how dark it gets, I’ll be right here with you. For the tough days, the good ones, everything the world throws at us. Because you’re it for me. You always have been."

With each word, her voice grows softer, filled with an unmistakable tremor of emotion.

“Let me be your person forever. Let me love you, fight for you. Let me build you giant blanket forts until we’re way too fucking old to do it by ourselves—and then let me find new ways to take care of you. Because it’s all I want in this lifetime. You’re all I see. Will you marry me?”

[losrin]

s7 etho is my favourite etho hermitcraft era so far because of all the antics he pulled and all the noteblock music. it was definitely his experimental era and it seemed he had quite a bit of fun with everything, but i imagine having to do all the music he used with noteblocks must get tiring the further into the season

(i do agree that s10 etho feels much more comfortable doing things as he wants, and i love that for him)

before i went into his content i knew him as primarily a redstone guy and when grian visited his base in s7 i was so puzzled by the style he built in. <how does one build only an interior?> imagine the surprise when i watched him pick the ugliest colour combos and actually make them look good?? and when he actually only built his interior, never even got to do an exterior for his base before the season ended

his build style is most different from bdubs in that it leans into the more unrealistic nature of minecraft. he incorporates the quirkiness of minecraft physics (how different it is from real life) and its aesthetic into his builds, whereas, bdubs in general goes for a more realistic approach and builds like he's painting a realism painting (shadows, colours, composition, etc)

i love both styles. the things about etho's builds that really impress me are

how he makes the colour palettes work

they're not over the top, feel like something the average player can do, yet the rooms flow so well into one another and look great

how much he leans into logic and theories that helps him deduce how someone would look at his base and thus how he can make it look better (it really shows how methodical he is with his designs; i mean don't get me wrong i do think he has an artistic eye, but he does rely more on logic to make sense of how different designs affect the perception of the perceivers, what with sightlines and colour theory)

the incorporation of redstone and other mechanical bits into his builds

his builds just feel uniquely his, which is something that i don't think the other hermits did as well as early as s7. but bless all of them they're always improving

we also see (variarions of) the same monstrosity build style in his LP series, modded mc s2 and in later seasons of hermitcraft. my favourite of his builds so far in his LP series is the dragon egg vault. even just the room with all the skulk, shriekers, warped logs and fire look awesome. his principles of building are also carried over into his s9 base. it feels like his s7 base but with a twist (a soul speed-depth strider-dolphin grace floor)

•

i love how he may give the illusion that he's lowkey and laidback, and he is, in some ways, and that helps him get away with being a menace. being etho helps too i suppose

•

i really do wish he would do more noteblock music in later seasons. his noteblock era peaked in s7 and it's a shame. he still does noteblock music that might arguably be even better (tschaikowsky's 1812 overture?!!?!?! for s9 zedvancement perilous percussion, music for ravager rush), but i do miss when he used noteblock music as background track

•

finally: i was disappointed that we didn't get to see hermits playing hurtin hermits, so i'm kinda hoping he revisits that someday

(sorry this is so all over the place)

I've finished Etho's s7 hermitcraft so guess who's back with a slightly updated/slightly consolidated list of things about ethoslab I have noticed! or just enjoy!

(the previous list)

I have no idea when he learned to noteblock. I don't know if he knows. he knows how to noteblock tho. he's really good at it.

on that note, did you know that there is not a single piece of non-noteblock music in etho's s7 after the first episode? there might not even be any in the first episode. every single timelapse or montage is set to noteblock music

(he sang along to parts of his paper planes noteblock cover too. he was going shopping. I was entirely too delighted)

(also, there is some like...sitcom music theme that I don't know what show it's from. it's bothering me that I don't know. what you need to know is that throughout his s7 etho uses said sitcom theme as the transition before Shenanigans With Fellow Hermits clips play. his life is a sitcom. yes it is the noteblock version.)

I think that etho desperately needs minigames for enrichment. if he's not playing one he's working on one. he needs them and he will let them completely consume his life

the etho decked out 1 runs are hilarious, partially because it's funny to see him play it and realize how absolutely insane decked out 2 is, and how much of a madlad tango is. etho is still the same menace with great luck and skills. I had forgotten about the hole to the void in the middle out decked out 1 tho, that was a fun reminder

etho could make a career out of translating classic type games into minecraft. he kind of has, but it's a pattern.

he also keeps coming up with new games that are minecraft only and is good at figuring out how to balance them well.

again, king of minigames. he will in fact analyze them as much as possible. he caught on to the pattern of impulse's whack a mole game in like...2 rounds? maybe 3? he's good at pattern recognition and will put it to good use no matter the minigame

etho, I cannot stress this enough, is a little shit and enjoys being such. free glass is obviously an iconic moment, but I had forgotten about him scamming scar out of diamonds for "information" about the resistance, or about sneak-e-e's business model (you can't tax what you can't find!), or about how he kept being extremely ridiculous with beef in regards to record shop payments...the list goes on

etho is also very competitive. I mentioned this in the last list, but man...he joins like every single competition he can. he wants to win. he's not like, a sore loser, but he likes to win, and he'll get a little upset if he doesn't.

etho and beef have clearly known each other a long time and ngl I miss their interactions a bit. let them bother each other a bit more please. I want to see them trying to kill each other in ridiculous ways again please. or doing minigames together. they're so silly.

kind of similar, but etho loves getting a rise out of people and it is the best thing ever actually. it's fun watching him use dirty tricks to beat bdubs to sleeping for a prize. it's perfect actually.

that being said, I still really like when etho is just on his own working on stuff too. s7 has a lot of moments where etho will go "I'm gonna use this block palette!" and I will think "bro that's ugly" and then he will make an extremely cohesive build that I want to live in out of it. I think a good way to describe it is that for example bdubs is really good at detailed builds with texture and not much color, and a very realistic twist to them. etho is not afraid to use color at all, and embraces how the colors can work together or contrast. it's fascinating to watch and I love it.

he is also a redstone genius. I feel I am starting to understand how some things with redstone work. could I design something myself? absolutely not but I could work from a tutorial and not feel completely lost on why I have to use a dispenser and not a dropper now.

I think s7 etho is really experimenting a lot with style and how he wants to do things. he does a few more elaborate intros, for example, that are very planned out, but he also does a lot of the classic "hello everybody this is etho and welcome back to hermitcraft!" it's fun and it works, but I honestly feel he might be more confident in some ways now in s10, which is nice to see.

(side note—I think etho has some trouble with tone sometimes, where he really wants to make sure everyone's having a good time, but also he really wants to tease people. this works well with like Beef, who he's known a while, but especially in people he's known less he's quick to catch on if they take what he's saying too seriously, and clarify that he is teasing. it's nice to see tbh, just the clarity even with his audience)

speaking of llamas, I had not realized how recent some really big updates were. bamboo and pandas were new at the start of s7. the nether update came like halfway through?? I was more in the casual build side of mcyt at the time but man...I didn't realize how crazy that is to think about.

just...the way that etho visualizes builds is great. not just like, leaving space for farms, but filling in the spaces with a lot of details that make sense but also work with the space to cover anything it needs to AND to connect with the rest of the base. the sightlines thing is something I see a lot of other builders using but etho really uses them a lot in the Monstrosity in order to keep it from being Too Much as you walk through.

really just...he wants to have fun, and he wants to learn, and he wants to experiment and figure things out. if he can mess with some friends when he does it, that's a great bonus, yknow?

man. what a guy.

[kazu-naito]

deep diving into the angel hierarchy of heaven's secret:

disclaimers: a) most of what i'm writing here are my own thoughts and theories; b) i'm not yet caught up with the abh january update, so if there is anything missing from there i'll add it later on

in the original duology we never got much information about how the angels hierarchy work in this universe and only knew a few names, however we did get the full picture in hsr and the order goes: seraphims > cherubs > thrones > supremacy > authority > beginning > archangels > angels

so far into the hs we've only met representatives of 3 of these 'classes' (aside from regular angels ofc) and i put one for each here:

(moreover, keep in mind these rankings are not exclusively set by birth, as we've seen rebecca climbing from the very bottom to the very top)

now it differs a bit from most of the christianity angel rankings, in which supremacy and beginning don't exist, no alternate names that i found had these names but i don't think it matters. in this context they would be replaced by dominions and principalities, respectively. still going by these, there's an omission of virtues but they do what they gotta do (or maybe they belong to that empty spot in the middle)

going back to heaven's secret, the only visible difference between angels of different spheres is that those of the first sphere have yellow/golden wings, whereas everyone else has common white/fair wings. a good example is fencio, who lost his throne status and therefore - the colour of his wings as well

i also don't think they would've shown us the full ranking if it wasn't gonna be explored more, after all we went years without it with no issues. and it was only the angel's that was revealed, not the demons' as well

from the new characters we only know of mikael's ranking so far - archangel. which tbf makes it a bit hard to guess everyone else but here are some theories:

possible spoilers for the january update

raphael: although he is not mikael's blood brother he could still also be an archangel. throughout the book we see he has a special connection to heaven and formidable power - he could be a regular angel with unusual abilities. i don't think he is higher ranking than mikael since he is his 'subordinate'

somnus/furius: higher ranking than mikael. i haven't seen the wings to put them amongst the actual big shots but if i had to guess i'd put them in the second sphere - they have enough power to be an archangel's superior but if they had actual power they'd be busy ruling heaven and not supervising earthly matters

anhea: regular angel. she has said it herself she fought the war against the mother of life on the outskirts while the big names were in the frontlines

cain: everything about him is a mystery ngl. if we are to believe pileon's words about him going against his own family, the type of power he possesses, the easy superiority in fights/energy/strength against other immortals - i would say he is in the very least an archangel. the recent confirmation that his family is indeed dead (and he was very very likely responsible) made me think he either got a lenient punishment (which wouldn't happen if he wasn't 'important') or he got a punishment similar to fencio's and lost his original ranking. or maybe he's just old idk

[lol-jackles]

Hello,

It’s nice to see you more active on here at the moment.

I was thinking about how you tend to say that the bi-bros who lean towards Sam are more in line with the GA.

But, I watch lots of reactors watch SPN for the first time, and they often lean towards Dean (I’d say 3/5), and I’ve heard a similar ratio say that they think Jensen is a noticeably better actor than Jared.

So, my questions are, are they letting fan expectations colour their reactions (hellers and Dean girls are very fast to pounce on new reactors), are they already Destiel curious from seeing edits in tumblr (I know of at least one who fits this), or do they acquaint “they make me feel emotional therefore they are the best actor”?

For me personally, on my first watch, Dean killed me with his love for family and Sammy and I empathized more with him usually, at least until Season 4/5 where he started pissing me off regularly. But, when I rewatch, I love episodes like Mystery Spot and Born Under a Bad Sign, or Souless Sam episodes because Jared is just so good when he gets something interesting to do. I find the Dean crying stuff less compelling on rewatches because it’s not as interesting to me (with a few expectations) after the first and second viewing. And acting at mirrors scenes gets old for me in particular very quickly.

In short, I think both are good, with different strengths, but I wonder why so many new viewers that I come across see Jensen as being stronger and Dean as being better. Do the just fail to see past the narrative bias? Or they just like Sean because he’s more fun?

Anyway, I appreciate any thoughts you want to share on this. And I’m also wondering if there is stats anywhere in GA favoring Sam?

First, because Sam girls commit “geek social fallacies” by also liking Dean because they love that Dean revolves around their Sammy. But Dean/Jensen stans don’t return the favor because they hate that Dean revolves around his Sammy so they hate on Sammy even though under their breath they’ve said if Jensen had been playing Sammy all along they wouldn’t change any of the writing.  That’s why there appears to be a Dean bias in the SPN fandom because Sam fans also likes Dean.  

It’s not a coincidence that Sam girls are the fandom’s official representative (all the meta fans on the show are Sam fans).   The show is mostly Sam-centric, if the bitter Sam girls won’t believe me then believe Jensen’s interviews when he said that SPN is Sam-centric and called season 10 a "rare Dean-centric storyline". (X)

Second, Dean is supposed to be a scene stealer, that's what support-protagonist do.  Often our favorite characters are not the protagonist but these scene stealers characters, they are usually cool or very funny. But it becomes a problem when producers try to capitalize on the character’s popularity, like creating a spin-off.   Like spices, which can not take the place of the main course, scene stealers often fail as leads because their “special-ness” evaporates when they have to carry the show. It's why WB canceled Supernatural when Jared told them he was leaving, because they knew a Dean-led Supernatural wouldn't work.

So while I'm watching an episode, I am more drawn to Dean because he’s more fun or interesting to watch. However the next day I remember the episode through Sam’s actions and interactions. Some of my readers tell me that they were surprised that they seem to “forget” Dean when they recall specific storylines, I said that’s supposed to happen with the support-protagonist.  We don't remember much of what John Watson did in the classic Sherlock Holmes or what was Nick Carraway's deal in The Great Gatsby.

It's the protagonist who mobilizes the story and stands out in readers’ or audiences’ minds.  Dean needs interaction with Sam in order for the audience to even remember him because he's part of the protagonist’s story. It’s why I keep saying Supernatural is Sam’s story, it's his Hero’s Journey.   Dean is at his best when he’s focused on Sam (which is why season 10 sucked and season 5 was kind of weak).

Third, Jensen is a personality actor and people are generally more drawn to them. Jared is a character actor who is trapped in a leading man role. Jensen has been Jensen “Dean Winchester” Ackles for the majority of his TV and movie roles since 1998.  It’s why Jensen initially made a bigger splash with Dean in the early Supernatural seasons because he’s already been playing Dean for years since Days of Our Lives.  In 2005 when SPN premiered, Jensen had a 7 years head start playing Dean compared to Jared who was just starting to play Sam and had to create Sam from scratch.  By season 3, audiences began to notice Jared's versatile acting skills and he would soon be tasked with playing different characters because that's what character actors do.

[atalana]

actually you know what, while this isn't something i had an issue with in the movie (and honestly the costume designers for wicked did an incredible job), i do wanna talk about elphaba's stage dress bc i think the tumblr lesbians will have fun with it!

so like i made a post a bit ago about how i literally only have one gripe with the wicked movie and it's that every glinda outfit was pink (probably for marketing purposes, but stage glinda is incredibly varied in her colours, and she only has one pink dress, alongside a white, a yellow, a green, and two blue dresses)

but i didn't really go into how elphaba is, in her own way, just as colourful!

because if you read interviews with susan hilferty, the original costume designer for wicked, she talks about how the primary thing she wanted to play with was the idea of these two as earth and sky

glinda comes from the sky, both literally in terms of her first scene being in the bubble, but also that is who she is as a person, bright, airy, expansive. she gets so many colours because she represents the rainbow, and whenever her and elphie are put in contrast, she gets the light side as is fitting for the show

(i did mention this in my glinda post too, but in the show the school colours for shiz are blue and white, which they do conform to, but while every other student is wearing blue and white stripes, glinda is dressed entirely in white and elphie entirely in blue)

but to the point of this post! you then get elphaba as earth. i've seen posts around about how elphie's magic is so strong because she's more connected to the world around her, and that's not only true but something worked into her costume design! hilferty talks about mica and geodes being an inspiration here, elphaba comes from the earth and is an intrinsic part of it, she may not look like much from the outside but she holds an incredible beauty inside

and so her dress is designed to look black from a distance, but it's actually not! it's dozens of layers of different dark colours, that shine and catch the light in different ways

(these dresses are also all slightly different because she mentions they made each dress for the actress who would wear it, each one is unique to fit how that person plays elphaba)

it also to me represents her public vs private image, people like glinda who've seen those layers to her knows she's a beautiful person inside and out, know how she could be seen and loved and appreciated for her complexity and depth, but no one looks that closely. they see from a distance, and they see what they want to see - a wicked witch in a black dress

(especially poignant given how colourful oz is and how no one else, no one 'good', ever wears black)

and i genuinely do love the details put into elphie's movie design, i'm a big fan of victorian style costuming and she's got a lot of those elements (plus the amount of detail and complexity put into dresses that are entirely black should be commended)

but i wanna show off her coloured dress too, because it means the world to me

[celticcrossanon]

"If her clan not included in anything royal now then who tf is she after charles died?" Easy. Camilla's the mistress who made top shelf. Anne Boyelyn still has the reputation 500 year after her death of being a power hungry seductress. Camilla's own great-grandma is also known as the King's #1 whore. Camilla is not going to be known as anything else in history other than the King's homewrecking mistress who helped break up his first marriage. She's still seen as that even today by the public.

Hi Nonny,

I agree with you, and it irritates me no end.

In my opinion, Queen Camilla was doing a decent job of rehabilitating herself to the public. She had spent years shutting up, keeping her head down, and doing whatever work she wanted to do. Not glamourous, no big PR profile, but acceptable for a future queen. I

had my doubts when stories started to circulate about the shade she was casting on various people via her Reading Room, and the rather vulgar stories that came from her (something about a President farting and Camilla making a huge joke out of it??).

Then Her Late Majesty passed and the real Camilla came on show with a burst of articles about how wonderful she was compared to other royal family members and how she had 'won'.

Her downward slide in my esteem was completed when she left the Easter Sunday church service, the holiest day of the year, during the Gloria - part of the introduction bit to the service, about 5/10 mins into it (10 mins max).

That rudeness, turning up and using the sacred service as a photo op, finished her in my eyes, and unfortunately with her multiple luxury wellness holidays and her constant 'I'm so wonderful' PR has done nothing but drive her further down in my eyes.

Now I'm at the stage where I think that being remembered as a mistress turned wife is too good for her, and we should just be blunt about it - she was the King's whore who committed adultery multiple times over the decades, happily and willingly, to remain his whore, and who was lucky enough that the King decided to marry her at the end of it all. She didn't have the sense to keep her mouth shut and now her true colours are only display for all to see - and what a lazy, self-aggrandising, drag others down to make myself look good, set of colours they are.

The King's choice of wife says a lot about him, just like Harry's choice of wife says a lot about him. The apple didn't fall far from the tree at all imo.

[janeyshivers]

i think a big part of the reason why, even when Pratchett was alive, it was always Rowling who was held up as the gold standard of a modern British fantasy author, is that Pratchett was above all else just far more honest about like, The English writ large.

a lot of ink has been spilled on the saccharine nostalgia of Harry Potter books, particularly as they went on, that longing for the WW2 Blitz spirit that Rowling herself didn't actually live through, but is lionised in our culture and was subsequently regurgitated uncritically by her, on account of her being an unimaginative hack. "keep calm and carry on" is the core aesthetic of the later books, while the earlier ones are far more of the sort of irritating, faux-charming, brilliant baffling bouncing Britishness that captured the hearts of teaboos who knew no better around the world, and also presented a highly self-flattering image to the people who have to actually live on this shithole island. this was especially true of cultural institutions such as schools, libararies, etc, who found it germaine to push these middling children's books relentlessly on kids, while massive multimillion dollar movie projects were cranked out, because they were deeply, painfully in love with a cutesy mirage of England that we like to project to the world to cover for the fact that this place is the husk of a dead empire, inhabited by tiny islands of obscene hoarded wealth in an increasingly desperate sea of insane deprivation and poverty.

and on a certain surface-level reading, you could almost accuse Pratchett of doing the same thing. after all, he also wrote whimsical fantasy tales largely set in a transparently England-ish setting (that is, Ankh-Morpork and the surrounding countryside areas on the Discworld). they even feature lots of witches and wizards! his books are full of bumbling, good-natured Englishmen doffing their caps to the lord, scenic countryside vistas, dirty and yet charming city streets, bustling fairs, rascally pickpockets, and generally a lot of the same aesthetic signifiers of Rowling's earlier work especially.

but.

read any amount of Pratchett's stuff and you realise very quickly that he understands that there is a persistent, genuinely violent nastiness underpinning a lot of this stuff. I Shall Wear Midnight is a good example, as the honest, hard-working country folk of the Chalk never even acknowledge the shameful mob killing of the old toothless woman who Tiffany has had to bury. these charming communities are places where well-known cases of domestic violence go unaddressed until a pregnant girl is beaten so badly she has a miscarriage, and they are places where miserable, curtain-twitching sneaks spread lies and rumours with impunity. Guards, Guards! fits here as well, a book about how the not-insincere love of the people of Ankh Morpork for their new king is insane and destructive and ends up getting quite a lot of innocent people killed.

what i appreciate most about how Pratchett talks about this stuff is that neither the nastiness nor the more charming elements are artifice. while they seem to exist as a contradiction at first glance, a core feature of English culture from Pratchett's perspective is that these impulses exist in a tense balance at all times. Mr Petty hits his daughter until she miscarries, and also stings his hands gathering nettles to make a little grave for the poor kid before trying to hang himself. that doesn't make what he did ok, but it does mean grappling with the fact that people are complicated and don't make sense, culture doesn't entirely cohere, and that the things you might like about "Englishness" are part and parcel of some genuinely horrifying shit.

obviously i'm not going to sit here and pretend that Pratchett was some plucky underdog compared to Rowling, the dude had a knighthood, and there are even a few movies based on his stuff (I'm rather partial to the 2008 The Colour of Magic adaptation myself), although nothing on the scale of the Potter movies. but at a glance, it does seem strange that Rowling was our nation's marquis literary export in the 2000s, considering that Pratchett was more established, working in the same genre, and also a significantly more technically skilled and insightful writer than her. but, that's the thing, he was insightful enough that his writing didn't make for decent cultural slop like Rowling's did. Harry Potter is vapid enough for corporate interests and cultural institutions to build a multinational media empire on, not through some insidious conspiracy to poison the minds of a generation of irritating millenials, but because it was there and it was popular enough and it was easy to use, because it's not very complicated or challenging. Discworld is not perfect by any means, and i have my personal disagreements with Pratchett's (relatively) rosy perspective on humans as being fundamentally very decent. but the stories make you think, they encourage you to engage with the world critically, and they are written with a degree of empathy and kindness that clash with any earnest attempt to shore up "English values".

[siena-sevenwits]

Goodness of the Day

I am so overwhelmed with the sheer amount of things I have to do with so many approaching deadlines - but I am grateful I have these opportunities, and that they will lead to good things, and that people have confidence in me, and that I can offer it to Jesus. And even though I am freaking out and don't know if I'll make it, progress is happening.

Earl Grey, how many of my lists have you appeared in so far, you lifesaver?

I remembered somebody gave me a 2025 calendar of works by female artists that are currently part of the Victoria and Albert Museum's collection, and it's nice to start using it.

I forgot to add yesterday that I thrifted a lovely little wooden train toy with a track for my niece. Beautiful quality, and cheap even for what I would have hoped at a thrift store.

I finally was able, by sheer brute force and association with a picture I found online, to stop imagining Elystan with sandy hair. I missed his hair colour on first read through, but I've strong-armed my imagination into turning it black. It took considerable effort, but now sandy feels wrong. I did my imaginative duty.

I'm loved.

[deargravity]

thought a bit too long about hajun's bilingualism and it turned into its own beast in my head, especially because i overfocused on the pride cd track where, at the height of his emotions, he breaks out a word in korean to express himself. both when he's angry / upset after the confrontation with ryuu and when he's grateful / freshly vulnerable later after that conversation with allen and anne. i know it's a trait of his character to be repressed and insincere in expressing himself but i also wanted to spend time on how language might play a role into his self-presentation, and possibly it is reflective of how carefully he has to maintain and build his image. the language he learned inside-out, the language he was born into (korean) and the language he learned outside-in, the language he speaks to blend into the host culture (japanese), and i think that's the bare-bone fundamental immigrant experience that it might also tie into his sense of isolation and how carefully he curates himself to be accepted and admired, without really knowing how deeply he is loved by the people in his life.

when you learn a new language, if you're busy attending to the rules of syntax and grammar and morphology finding the right way to word things, how much room do you really have for putting in your own voice into that framework, how do you really express yourself in the early stages such that you are truly understood the way you want to be, even in regular conversations when you can communicate with someone in their language, so much meaning is lost between what is said and what is heard. especially when language is the conduit for understanding culture as well.

language has been shown to influence our sense of time and direction and even the range of colours that we see so it's not too far-fetched to mirror this learning experience with how hajun had to grow up in japan away from his family, and his language, and acclimatise to an unfamiliar setting. what i'm trying to say is that after having to internalise the idea that he is unloved by his family, the struggle of fitting into a new society might have exarcebated his loneliness as well, especially since he couldn't regularly speak the language he grew up with. how closely was his childhood tied to the language, how often did his feelings get lost in translation growing up, and is this also part of the reason no one has truly been able to understand him, the reason he doesn't bother with honesty after a childhood of growing up alone, thinking himself unloved and not worth understanding, and of course does that affect his relationship with vulnerability into his adulthood? how do you even begin to conceptualise this kind of experience as a kid? everything he learned turned into habit that became less about being instinctive and truthful and more about putting it together correctly, not just in a new language, but also in a new self, for a new place. if you get what i mean by the parallel.

on language: what language do you think with? how do you access and translate memories into another language? what do you lose of yourself in the process of translation? at what point, do you give up on translating and build yourself something new? at this point, aren't you lying to yourself too? of course, you'd also lie to everyone else.

i don't know if i've read too much into something and turned it into a headcanon, but it's just something i noticed in the pride cd track, when his mask cracks under the pressure and not just through language. that aside, i just thought it might be a good place to start understanding part of the reason why he's so emotionally shuttered and distant all the time. maybe it's language, maybe it's habit, maybe it's because he also has a very selective and flawed understanding of himself, and very likely it is also self-loathing but that's a conversation for another day, thank you for reading.