#I'm not gonna get into specifics of which fic it is in particular but.

[shima-draws]

Don't you hate it when a fic is REALLY good and is written REALLY well but one of the characters is extremely OOC. I keep getting whiplashed by it lmao

[captn-trex]

read between the lines

Fox x F!Reader

word count: 8.1k

description: the library is your favourite place to escape to when the galaxy gets too loud, and it just so happens to be the same for a certain marshal commander

warnings: sfw, fox being anxious & being frustrated about it, nervous (kinda non-sensical) ramblings from fox's pov incl. self-deprecating comments (basically projecting my anxiety onto him oops), but it ends cute and nerdy :)

a/n: really wanted to write a fox fic after seeing this post by @welcometo79s about fox being an introvert - I thought the idea was super interesting so here we have an anxious lil fox :) I could yap so much more but my notes are always too long so I'm gonna shut up

Going to the library was one of your favourite pastimes. Especially on a planet like Coruscant, which never seemed to slow down.

You had discovered this little corner of the planet years ago, and you spent more time here than you cared to admit. There were a number of libraries of Coruscant, but none of them as quiet and authentic as this one. You had truly struck gold in finding it, entirely by accident.

The feel of a real book, the feel of flimsi between your fingers, was an experience you relished in this technological day and age. You didn't have anything against technology, it was an integral part of your life and job after all, but holding something so precious and unique in your hands was something else entirely.

This particular library was not very large, though boasted an impressive catalogue of titles nonetheless. You loved curling up by the heater on cold evenings, in one specific cosy red armchair. It was a little more hidden, a reading nook of sorts, and it made the experience feel all the more special. Just you and a book, the outside world, the war, slipping from your mind easily.

In the last few weeks, there was a new regular that had started coming. At first, you were alarmed, his bright red armour alerting you to the fact that he belonged to the Coruscant Guard, but when he picked up a book and settled himself in a window seat, you had relaxed.

You had to admit, you found yourself watching him quite a lot. After a number of times seeing him, you had figured out exactly who he was. It was entirely surprising to you that the Commander of the Coruscant Guard frequented such a place, though he always walked in as if it was exactly where he should be, so you came to respect that.

Going to the library had become part of your daily routine, spending your evenings there as it was much quieter than spending them in your apartment. The people you lived with were particularly loud, not to mention the noise of the city outside the window. However, in the weeks that Commander Fox had begun to do the same thing, you found your reason for going shifting.

You couldn't help but be intrigued by him. You were always too far away to see what he was reading, and he never took his helmet off. You wondered how he could read through it, but you presumed that if it had been made for battle then a book probably wouldn't be a problem.

One day, as he was leaving, you noticed him acting a little odd. He peered around to see if anyone was looking his way, not noticing you at all, and then he pocketed a stylus that the person who sat there before him had left. You smirked, watching him leave the library with a little extra hurriedness to his steps. After that, you decided that you needed to know what it was he was reading all this time, your intrigue finally becoming strong enough.

When you entered the library the next day, he was already sat in his regular seat, one leg stretched out on the seat and the other foot planted on the ground. He held the book in one hand, the other absentmindedly playing with the stylus that he had stolen the previous day. You found the book you had been reading, and made your way towards his position, your stomach turning just a little.

The window bay that he sat in was reasonably large, with a wooden frame and covered with pillows. You made your way to the opposite side from him and took your seat. His head raised from his book quickly in surprise, and you offered him a smile, before opening up your book and finding where you had left it.

Unbeknownst to you, and contrary to your own thoughts, Fox had noticed you. It was hard not to; you were here everyday, and he found you to be distracting, to say the least. He had often watched you sneaking glances at him, the secrecy afforded by his helmet allowing his cheeks to heat up without detection. It was the reason he rarely took his helmet off really, he didn't want anybody to he able to read him, he had a hard enough time conveying his thoughts through words without people watching him try to do it.

Fox had always been somewhat of an introvert, a stark contrast to his brothers. He didn't know how he had ended up not sharing in his brothers’ natural outgoing demeanour, but it was something that affected him constantly. He managed to have a commanding presence and confidence in his work through his rigorous training on Kamino, and he now had enough experience in his role that it felt safe, natural. Though at the end of a long day, when his brothers went out to 79s, he much preferred to be by himself. He craved so deeply to have his own space, and finding this library recently had afforded him some semblance of that.

Fox drew his knee up towards his chest so that he wasn't invading any of your personal space, despite the feeling that that was exactly what you had just done to him. He watched you from behind his visor, intrigued and confused. You didn't look up from your book once, leafing through the pages gradually as you took in the information on them. You were reading something non-fiction, something to do with theories about wild space and beyond. Somehow that surprised Fox - he didn't know what he expected you to be reading but it wasn't that. After his heart had stopped racing at the thought of having to talk to someone, he let his eyes drift back to his own book.

For the entirety of the evening, you didn't talk to Fox, nor did you so much as look at him. He found it to be equally relieving and maddening. He was glad that you both seemed to just be enjoying each other's presence without the need for conversation, but he couldn't understand why you had joined him.

He knew his armour made him stand out among the civilians, and usually people seemed to be scared of him because of it, as if he would arrest them for looking at him the wrong way. It was a blessing and a curse. People left him alone, but he stood out nonetheless. He got what he wanted, but was constantly being perceived in ways he didn't know as he did.

He wondered what your angle was.

When he had seen you watching him, he had initially thought it was for the same reason: that you were scared of him. However, he soon realised that you looked at him with no contempt, no ill-will, and now that you had come and sat yourself within his presence, he was even more interested to know what was going on in your head.

After a number of hours - he had lost count how many - he noticed you rising from your seat. You placed down the cushion that you had set in your lap as you read, and cast a glance over to him. With how he had rested his book in his lap and looked up, it was obvious he was looking at you, and you gave him another sweet smile.

He was overtaken by the need to speak with you. Your kind gestures seemed to be an obvious response to the way he was acting, and that you were respecting the fact that he didn't want to talk. Unfortunately, before he could work up the courage, you had gone back over to the bookshelf and put the book back in its place, leaving shortly thereafter.

Fox sighed audibly, and it came out as a small hiss through the filter of his helmet. Despite liking his own space, he had enjoyed having someone else with him, just sitting in silence while you both focused on your own things. He didn't have that kind of interaction with any of his brothers, they were often far too excitable for him.

He loved his brothers dearly, they meant a lot to him, but being around them all of the time tired him out, and sometimes it was nice to get away from them. He found himself thinking that perhaps he didn't always have to do it by himself. Perhaps it was possible to spend time with someone who didn't drain his energy. Someone like you.

When Fox arrived at the library the next day, you were already there, sat in your regular seat. He watched you for a moment, the corners of your lips lifting as you read something from your book. You looked so kind, so approachable. He didn’t feel as though you were trying to draw him in in any particular way, at least not in a way that would ordinarily have him feeling flustered. It didn't seem that you sought anything that would draw him out of his comfort zone at all. With that in mind, he just truly felt like indulging in your simple company once more, and so he did.

He approached the corner of the library where you were slightly hidden away, and he settled himself in the armchair opposite you. You looked up to watch him do so, and smiled warmly when his visor turned towards you. The crinkles at the edges of your eyes gave away how pleased you were that he had decided to join you, and he relaxed a little, his body moulding into the chair as he opened up his book.

As you had the previous day, you both engrossed yourselves in your books. The worries of today and tomorrow washed away and you just soaked up the words on the page. You were curled up in your chair, a cushion held to your stomach as you often did, whereas Fox had his legs outstretched, one over the other, his hand tucked under his arm as the other held his book. You were both just comfortable.

As the day wound to a close, you flicked your eyes to the clock, and thought that you best be getting home.

Fox watched you raise from your seat, placing the cushion back onto it neatly. His stomach lurched a little, once again feeling the urge to speak to you. He felt exceedingly stupid as he couldn't bring himself to do it, and he was floundering for something, anything to say.

“Wait!” He heard himself say, a little louder than he would've liked, especially for in a library. You turned back to him, your eyes finding his visor as you waited for him to continue.

Fox's brain drew a blank. He couldn't think let alone speak right now. However, you just gave him a patient smile, not expecting anything. It calmed his mind enough to ask a simple question.

“What's your name?”

Your smile grew a little before you replied, you voice even more kindly than he could have imagined - soft, yet assured. He couldn't help but let the corner of his mouth raise a little under his helmet. After a moment, he realised that you weren't asking his name, and his smile dropped, slightly panicking for something to say again. He would've given anything to be as outgoing as his brothers at this very moment, or any subsequent one.

“Well” You cleared your throat as he just looked up at you, and a small smirk wound its way onto your face. “I suppose I'll see you around, Commander Fox” You gave him a little mock salute as you turned away.

Fox could feel his cheeks burning, his mind now in overdrive. You knew who he was the whole time? Somehow he felt especially embarrassed more than anything, and slumped back into his chair with a huff. What was he supposed to say to you now? How much did you know about him? If you knew who he was, why did you sit with him? And why didn't you say anything?

Endless questions swirled around in his head, stopping him from enjoying his book for the rest of the evening. Even as he tried to sleep in his bunk, all he could do was stare up at the ceiling, his cheeks still burning as he thought of how stupid he must've sounded asking your name and sitting by you, when you knew exactly who he was.

He desperately wanted to know what you thought of him. Surely if you knew his name then you'd know other things about him? But what did you know? Had you heard that he was somewhat removed or lonely and thought he could use a friend? Because that would be positively mortifying.

Fox ran a hand over his face. He shouldn't be thinking like this. For all that he avoided them, he cared far too much what people thought of him. He wished he could stop doing that.

Fox had thought about not going to the library the next day, but after a long talk with himself in the mirror, he decided that it didn't matter what you thought of him, and he wasn't going to let it ruin what he had come to know as his little corner of the galaxy.

He was already there when you arrived, as you had come a bit later than usual. That had only struck Fox with an unpleasant feeling in his gut, but he wasn't going to let on.

You slowly approached his window seat with your book tucked in your hands. His head didn’t raise until you spoke.

“Is it alright if I sit with you?”

Fox's head snapped up at the sound of your voice, his eyes a little wide behind his visor. He elected not to speak, and instead nodded his head and gestured vaguely to the other side of the window.

Unlike the last couple of days, Fox was positively unfocused on his book. It was maddening, all he wanted to do was relax, especially after his sleepless night and the stack of flimsiwork that had awaited him on his desk this morning. He couldn't be so lucky, you had to go and distract him. Of course it wasn't your fault, and Fox knew that, he was just annoyed that he couldn't shut his mind off for once second. Ever.

After around 45 minutes had passed, and Fox had finally settled into reading his book, he noticed you watching him, and he internally groaned. He had just started relaxing.

He raised his head to let you know he saw you looking at him, and you smiled warmly before speaking.

“Can I ask you a question?”

That made him nervous, the slight anticipation making his head nod quickly to release it.

“Is your helmet comfortable?” You asked, resting your book in your lap.

Whatever he thought you were going to ask, it wasn't that.

“Uh… yeah, it's fine” He replied awkwardly.

“Cool” You nodded, seemingly satisfied with the answer, and opened your book back up.

Fox just stared at you. Was there not any other reason for you asking that? Did you actually just want to know if his helmet was comfortable or not? Why couldn't he stop questioning your motivation for doing anything?

“How do you know my name?” He asked, getting straight to the point.

Your expression was sheepish when you looked back up at him again, and you fumbled slightly with your book, losing your page. You let out a small huff at that, “I don't know, I think everyone kind of knows who you are”

That was probably the worst reason you could have given. Fox cringed, his body folding in on itself fractionally even though he tried to stay rigid and strong.

He looked back down to his book and tried to read, but now it just felt like the awkward silence was swallowing him whole. He couldn't focus on the page, his mind swirling with various words that he tried to string together to reply to what you had said.

After a few minutes of that, Fox was fed up. He practically slammed his book closed and strutted over to the desk to return it, not looking back as he left.

The next night, you were still put out by the Commanders actions. You went to the library anyway, convinced that he probably wouldn't be going, that you had well and truly scared him off. You didn't know exactly why, or rather how, you had done it, but you could tell he'd been frustrated by it. You hadn't hardly said anything to him, but you supposed that you had managed to offend him in those few short words.

Thankfully, it soon slipped from your mind as you curled your legs into your chest and dove into the new book you had picked up today.

If Fox had been embarrassed by you knowing who he was, he was positively beside himself with mortification now. He had blocked it out the entire day, holing up in his ‘office’ and burying himself in his flimsiwork so he couldn't possibly let another thought into his head.

As it got to the end of the day, Fox couldn't stop watching the clock. Time was creeping along at a painfully slow pace, and that was as he was already staying late. It felt like torture, working late just to stop himself thinking. His brain was at maximum capacity, and all he wanted to do was rest.

“Commander” A voice called out, and Fox's head lifted slowly to see Thorn standing in front of his desk, “Maker, you look rough”

Fox scowled, “I thought I told you to knock”

“I vaguely remember you saying that…” Thorn said, a mocking grin growing with each word. “You do know this isn’t a door right?” He said, knocking on the wall that only vaguely separated Fox’s desk from the others.

Fox just rolled his eyes, “What do you want?”

“We're clocking out now, you fancy coming to 79s?” Thorn asked hopefully.

“You already know the answer” Fox looked down at his flimsiwork again.

Thorn huffed, “Come on vod, just this once?”

“I've got work to do” Fox replied.

“That's what you always say”

Fox gave Thorn a tired look, “Another time”

“You always say that as well” Thorn remarked.

Fox sighed aggressively, “Look, I'm really not in the mood for this tonight”

“Alright, alright” Thorn put his hands up in surrender, “I'll get you next time”

“I doubt it” Fox mumbled under his breath as his brother left.

He picked up his stylus. It was the one he had stolen from the library, or more accurately, whoever had left it at the library. He let a sigh escape him. It was filled with mixed emotions, positive memories of the library tinged by his own stupidity.

He twirled the stylus in his hand, manoeuvring it through his fingers. Maybe it wouldn't be the end of the world to go to the library, to seek the respite he so desperately desired. If you were there, he could just ignore you, it couldn't be that hard.

Once that thought had entered his mind and he'd let it grow for just a second, he rose to his feet, grabbing his helmet from the edge of his desk. When he stepped out of his corner, the chattering voices he could hear stopped, and the two remaining clones in the office looked towards him.

“Ah, Commander, you decided to join us after all” Thorn grinned.

“Uh, no. I’m going out” Fox replied, continuing to walk towards the door.

“Where to?” Stone asked, pushing himself from his desk.

“Just- out” Fox replied, much more rigidly than he would've liked. It sounded extremely suspicious coming out.

“Out? Like on a date?” Thorn asked.

“No!” Fox barked back, almost stopping in his place.

“Oh my god, you are” Stone’s expression turned to a broad grin as he dashed towards the door, stopping his brother from leaving.

“I'm not” Fox insisted, a sharp glare directed at Stone.

“You're blushing” He pointed out, which only intensified Fox’s glare. Stone pushed his brother's shoulder lovingly, “Aw vod, I'm so happy for you”

Fox rolled his eyes, pushing past his brother and grumbling to himself as he could hear the two of them laughing at his expense. He loved his brothers, but they really got on his last nerve sometimes.

When he got to the library, it was much later than he usually arrived, which the librarian commented on as he checked out his book. He just gave her a polite nod, not really pleased at his patterns being recognised.

He had planned to just ignore you, but when he saw you sitting in your usual seat, curled up and peaceful, reading your book as if you were the only two things in the galaxy, he couldn't help but feel drawn to you once more. He walked over to you in a few long strides, and cleared his throat. Your head shot up, eyes a little wide.

“Commander” You said, a little unsurely as it wasn't entirely clear if he wasn't upset with you or not. You couldn't tell from under the helmet.

“Please don't call me that” He replied in a somewhat affronted tone, though he must have seen how taken aback you were because he instantly backtracked, “I mean- No, just- Fox is fine, please”

“Okay then” You smiled, “Hi Fox”

Fox returned the smile, even though you couldn’t see it, “May I join you?”

You nodded, gesturing to the armchair opposite you. Fox sat down, leaning forward and clearly not finished speaking.

“I am… sorry, for leaving abruptly yesterday”

You couldn't stop your face from twitching with amusement, “You don't have to be sorry”

“Right… yeah” His hand snaked to the back of his neck on instinct as he spoke awkwardly.

“I do hope I didn't offend you though” You added, drawing your eyebrows together.

“Offend me?” Fox seemed genuinely confused.

“About… knowing who you are” You jogged his memory.

“Oh, no” Fox shook his head lightly. It had sent him spiralling, but you didn't need to know that.

“Good” You smiled sweetly and flicked your eyes back down to your book.

Fox watched you for a moment longer then opened his book, finding his place and continuing on.

What he liked the most about you, not that he knew much else, was that you seemed content just being in each other's space, and not needing to talk to fill the time. Talking wasn't his strong suit, it stressed him out at the best of times, even when he pretended it didn't. Particularly then, in fact. Somehow, without even communicating with each other verbally, this was the most meaningful connection he had shared with someone new in a long time. He didn't know that you thought that way too, but somehow he felt that you did.

Not too long later, the librarian came to tell you both that the library would be closing soon. Fox nodded and stood from his seat, but paused in going to hand his book back in when he realised you weren't moving. You hadn't even looked up from your book.

“Aren't you coming?” He questioned, his voice clearly showing his confusion.

You looked up to him, your lips curling into a smile, “I'm not quite done here yet”

Fox frowned, then sat back down opposite you, his knees spread and elbows leant against them, a stance he often took when questioning someone.

“You'll be chucked out by the librarian” He stated.

You shook your head gently, “I can be sneaky”

“Then you'll be locked in” He tried to find reason in whatever idea you had up your sleeve.

“Eh” You shrugged, “I can pick the lock”

Fox tilted his head. Even though you couldn't see the confusion on his face, you still found the action a little cute.

“You realise I could have you arrested for that”

Fox could see your eyes flash with a small amount of alarm as you remembered exactly who was sitting in front of you, but it was gone as soon as it came, and instead you narrowed them a little.

“Well, that would be a little pointless” You said as if it were obvious.

Fox’s eyebrows raised instinctively, “And why is that?”

“Because you'd have to arrest yourself too” You stated, your eyes sparkling with mischief and a grin overtaking your face.

“Wha-”

Before he could even finish the word, you had jumped up and grabbed his arm, dragging him towards the rows of bookshelves and pulling him in between two of them.

He wanted to protest, but the words were stuck in his throat. He was once again thankful for the shield that was his helmet, because he knew that his cheeks must have been bright red with the way you were looking up at him. Your face bore the widest grin, your eyes crinkled at your own mischief, and he was hopeless to do anything about it now.

Fox’s head was telling him to leave, that breaking the law, something that he dedicated his life to upholding, was not a good idea. Though between your excitement and the secret thrill it was giving him, his heart was aching to stay. So he did.

He watched you as you glanced around and listened out for the librarian. Somehow the only thing in his mind was that if he rocked forwards onto the balls of his feet that he'd probably be touching you, or at least feel the heat of your body. The thought was disturbed when the lights cut out and the librarian could be heard walking nearby. You grabbed his arm again, tugging him down the shelves to hide against the other end.

You were grinning, resting your temple against the end of the shelves and looking up at him.

“Having fun?”

Fox just hummed in reply as he copied your posture, not giving much away. You rolled your eyes, but your smile remained, and you kept listening out for the librarian. Soon enough, the clunk of the outdated technology of lock and key slotting together rang out in the darkness of the library, and you stood up straight, walking back over to your regular spot.

By the time Fox caught up with you, you had turned on a nearby lamp and were already sat back in the chair with your book open. He just sat opposite you, watching you through his visor.

The library was usually quiet, but now it was dead silent, and Fox couldn't help but relish in that fact. Even the sounds of the city couldn't be heard in here. It was an entirely peaceful moment, something he rarely got the opportunity to indulge in.

Fox peered around the library, making sure nobody else was lingering after closing, and then hooked his thumbs under the base of his helmet, pulling it off with a quiet hiss. The noise made your head raise, seeming loud in the quiet environment.

It was hard not to stare. You knew more or less what he looked like, he was a clone after all, but nothing could have prepared you for actually seeing him. His dark curls, streaked by silver, his eyes a dark brown and his battle worn skin. He was gorgeous, so rugged yet so stately, and so unique in his appearance as compared to the brothers of his that you had met.

He noticed you examining his face and immediately went to put his helmet on.

“No!” You called out, a little more desperately than you hoped for. Fox gave you a weary and puzzled look, and you could have melted right there. It was strange to see the emotion on his face when he had always concealed it from you.

“Sorry” You coughed out, a little flustered, “I didn't mean to stare”

Despite your words, you continued to observe him, inspecting his face. Every mark, every scar, every feature drawing you in.

Fox tilted his head to the side a fraction, a small crease forming in his brow, “You're still staring”

“Right, sorry” You looked down to your book and scanned your eyes across the page, trying to find where you had been when you got distracted by the sheer beauty of the man before you. It certainly wasn't helpful to think of it in those terms when you were trying not to look at him.

Fox let one side of his mouth quirk up at your reaction to him. He hadn't really expected you to care all that much, but your darkened cheeks were telling him that perhaps you did. He spoke your name, and the sound of his voice unfiltered by his helmet sent a shiver running up your spine.

“Hm?” You replied, glancing up.

“How often do you stay after closing?”

“Oh, not that often” You shrugged a shoulder.

“Why tonight?” He pressed.

You hesitated, “Well, you didn't come until late, and… I feel like that was kinda my fault”

Fox couldn't help the way his stomach flipped, even if he didn't know exactly why it had. He placed his book down on the table next to him.

“It's not your fault” He asserted, “I had a lot of work to do”

It wasn't exactly a lie, but he wasn't going to tell you that he had been trying to banish you from his head all day.

“But thank you. It's not often that I get to-” He gestured his hand vaguely around the library, “Experience the quiet like this”

“No problem” You smiled, setting your book down as well. It seemed you both were now more interested in each other's company than that of the books you had chosen.

Fox bit the inside of his cheek, a little nervous under your undivided attention. The feeling in his stomach was akin to his usually anxiety around socialising, but it felt different, not entirely unpleasant.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure” You replied, “I'm an open book”

Fox let out a breathy chuckle, the amusement dancing in your eyes letting him know that your pun wasn't accidental.

“What do you do?”

“Like… for work?” You asked.

“Yeah, I guess” Fox shrugged. He didn’t really mind what you talked about, he just wanted to know more about you.

“Um” You looked away, flexing your hands nervously, “Nothing. I mean- you know, nothing interesting… or important”

Fox hummed, giving you a sceptical look, “Something tells me breaking into libraries in the middle of the night isn’t the only illegal thing you do”

“Okay, first of all - I don’t break in, I only break out-”

“Not much better really” Fox shrugged, trying to keep the smirk from his lips unsuccessfully.

”Sure, maybe not” You smirked, “But it’s hardly malicious. It’s nothing like, say… Stealing someone’s private property, such as a stylus or something like that…”

A blush dusted Fox’s cheeks immediately, now knowing you had indeed caught him doing exactly that. He cleared his throat, looking away and trying to find a way to explain himself.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone” You teased, resting your hand on his knee for a second to draw his attention back to you, “Besides, who would I tell? We’ve already established that you’re not going to arrest yourself”

Fox dragged his gaze back to you, the gentle touch only making his cheeks burn hotter. He gave you a weary sort of look, but the edge of his lips curled upwards nonetheless.

“Why did you steal it?” You then asked, devoid of any of the teasing tone you had previously employed.

“Uh” Fox ran a hand through his hair, “Well… I don’t really have anything that’s… Mine”

You gave him a puzzled look, “How do you mean?”

Fox cleared his throat, “I mean… I don’t really have possessions, I share all of my time and my space with my brothers. I don’t have a place that is mine, to put anything that might be mine”

He paused for a moment, conscious that he may be oversharing, but your even gaze, the way you were sitting forward and listening attentively told him that perhaps you didn’t mind. That you were interested in what he was saying.

“I have an office, sort of, but not really. It’s just a tiny area in the corner of the Guard’s office, so it’s a little closed off, and it barely even fits my desk, but- anyway. I just take what I can get I suppose” He wrapped up his rambling.

“I can understand that”

“You can?” He asked.

You nodded, “Yeah, I’ve… never had a space to myself either really”

“You don’t have an apartment or something?” He tilted his head to the side.

“Not to myself. I live with three other people, and they’re very… loud. That’s why I come here”

“Yeah, same here I suppose” Fox smiled, then his face fell a little, “Hold on- We didn’t get to the bottom of what you do for work”

You chuckled a little nervously, “I’m a mechanic”

Fox gave you a dubious look, “That doesn’t sound illegal”

“It’s not” You sighed, “It’s just… my boss is a little dodgy”

Fox took a moment to shift in his seat, trying to appear casual, “What kind of dodgy? Who… is it?”

You just smirked at him, “You’re not getting it out of me that easily I’m afraid, Commander”

Fox wanted to chuckle, but he was also suddenly struck by the fact that he had no reason to believe you had any moral integrity or that you actually were any sort of good person.

“You don’t think they should be brought to justice?” He spoke with trepidation.

You smiled a little, “Yeah, I guess I do, but then I would be out of a job”

“You could get another one” Fox reasoned.

“It’s not that simple” You stated, “I don’t live with three people for the fun of it after all”

Fox was confused, you could see that much woven into the frown he gave you.

“I can’t afford anything else” You completed the thought, trying to sound as casual as possible.

“Oh, right” Fox replied.

Fox didn’t really know what to say. He hadn’t faced that kind of issue before in his own life, so he couldn’t say he fully understood. He wasn't shy of people turning to crime because of money, their were often few other reasons, though it certainly gave a new perspective to the way he looked at his role of what had turned into a short jump from policeman.

“Anyway” You said more cheerily, “It isn't such a bad job, I do get to spend my evenings here”

Fox smiled at that, “How long have you been coming here?”

“A few years” You replied.

It wasn't long before you were talking animatedly, sharing little details of your life with Fox. He could feel himself coming out of his shell the more you talked, enamoured by the way you spoke and the things you had to say. He found himself agreeing with many of the observations you made, even if he didn't say so. It was also hard to ignore how drawn to you he now felt, in a way he hadn't experienced with many others, possibly anyone. He told you details about himself too, a little bit about his brothers, about a book that he had heard of but couldn’t find, about what he does in the Coruscant Guard.

You were explaining a passage of your favourite book, and the way the light was hitting you face was making it hard for Fox to concentrate on your words fully.

“Do you think that was the right thing for them to do?” He asked, a crease in his brow to show his engagement.

“Well, no. Probably not, but that's what the book is questioning” You explained, then noted Fox's slightly dazed expression, “Maybe they should take a page out of your book and just start stealing” You raised your eyebrows a little, and Fox laughed defeatedly, both as his own habits and your terrible library humour.

“I can't believe you saw me do that and still came and sat with me” He joked, the outright sarcasm feeling unfamiliar on his tongue.

“Oh no, that was what made me do it” You admitted a little theatrically.

“Really?” He cocked his head to the side, giving you a genuine disbelieving look.

“Yeah, it interested me. I wanted to know what the Commander of the Coruscant Guard was doing stealing from a library” You chuckled, “It was just… not what I expected, I guess”

“What did you expect?” He asked with a teasing edge, “The armour does tend to give a certain impression”

“Oh no, I would never judge a book by its cover” You put your hand to your chest in mock offense, a smile still pulling at your lips.

He rolled his eyes, “Do you always have such terrible humour?”

“I think it's funny” You shrugged, covering your mouth as a yawn escaped it. You blinked a few times, and it was only then that you realised it was most likely very late. Checking your watch, you saw that it was past midnight and you sat forward in your chair, “I should be getting home really”

Fox was tired as well, but he wasn't ready to say goodbye just yet. Though, he didn't want to keep you if you were tired, and he wasn't exactly fully awake himself.

“Can I escort you back?” He suggested.

You smiled as you stood up, “Sure, that'd be nice”

Fox followed suit, grabbing his helmet, and letting you lead the way to the door, both of you returning your books to the shelf on the way.

“My very own Coruscant Guard escort, lucky me” You muttered, eyelids heavy with sleep as you looked up at him with a smirk.

Fox’s lips formed a similar expression. He rolled his eyes, though it wasn’t as spiteful as when he had directed it at his brother earlier on in the night. He had completely forgotten about the aspect of having to pick the lock, so was a little surprised when you then produced a small tool from your pocket and knelt down, slotting it into the keyhole.

“Should I be worried that you carry around a lock pick?” He asked, placing his helmet over his head.

You let out a breathy chuckle, “I only use it for this. Besides, it's just a regular tool, not specifically a lock pick”

The door cracked open, and you pulled the tool out, placing it back in your pocket.

It was only a few blocks to your home, and on the way you explained to Fox how you had first found the library on an evening stroll shortly after moving into your current apartment, trying to get away from your loud roommates.

You could already hear them as you approached now, music turned up loud and some form of excited squealing spilling from the windows. You cracked open the door, and winced as the noise became ten times louder. You gave Fox a sheepish expression and he chuckled a little.

“I can see why you go to the library” He noted.

“Yeah” You sighed, rubbing your neck, “They’re not so bad really, just…”

Fox nodded in understanding.

You both just stayed watching each other for a moment, neither one of you wanting to be the first to say goodbye. You stared into Fox's visor, hoping to find his eyes behind it, and by some miracle, he understood that, and took it off in one smooth motion.

You smiled up at him as his eyes emerged from beneath the mask, and his heart instinctively skipped a beat. With you looking up at him like that, and nothing to hide his own emotions, he suddenly felt exposed. His stomach erupted into what felt like his usual anxiety-ridden state, but for once, it was more exhilarating than it was scary.

“I'm glad I made you stay behind tonight” You admitted, little care for how odd the words sounded.

Fox chuckled slightly, “Yeah, me too”

There was another moment of silence, and now Fox read it as awkwardness, so he immediately began backing away.

“I- Um, I'll see you around?” He offered.

Your smile faltered for half a second before you replied, “Yeah, see you around”

Fox watched you get inside safely, and then turned on his heel to head back to his quarters.

The whole way back, and well into the night, Fox couldn't get you out of his head. Though, this time he didn't mind.

The following morning, Fox was once again buried in flimsiwork, already on his third caf and ready to pull his hair out.

“Commander” Fox heard the unmistakable voice from the ‘door’ of his office, and he could have easily groaned in frustration.

“I thought I told you to knock” He grumbled, not bothering to look up from his flimsiwork.

“Perhaps you did” Thorn shrugged, a grin evident in his voice, “But you have a visitor”

Fox's head snapped up at that.

“A visitor?”

“Mhm” Thorn confirmed in a somewhat teasing manner, “No idea how she got past security downstairs but, there's a woman asking to see you”

Fox frowned a little, but stood from his desk, walking over to look around the corner. He saw you leaning on Thorn's desk, looking around the office and a book clutched between your hands. You were in a mechanic’s jumpsuit, folded down to the waist with leather gloves tucked into the belt, and seemingly not caring one bit how your appearance made you stand out in the office.

He called your name, and your head turned towards him, along with everyone else in the office that had already been staring at the you, the person who didn't belong. Your eyes lit up a little as you saw him, and you pushed yourself from the desk, striding over to him and Thorn.

“What are you doing here?” He asked softly, leading you into his corner of the office.

“I wanted to g-”

“Actually, hold on one moment” Fox interrupted you, then walked back out into the office to find Thorn and Stone waiting just outside with their ears turned to the wall. Fox rolled his eyes and cleared his throat, making them jump away.

“Could I maybe have some privacy?” He gave them a pointed look.

Both of them mumbled a ‘yes sir’ as they slunk away, brandishing matching smirks. Fox huffed, before returning to you.

“Sorry about that” He ran a hand through his hair, “Are you alright? What are you doing here?”

“I'm fine” You smiled, “I came to give you this”

You held up the book in your hands, offering it to him. Fox eyed it suspiciously, his gaze flicking between you and the book.

“Did you steal this from the library?”

You laughed gratuitously, “No. I thought we established that was your thing”

“But…” Fox frowned, “Did you buy it then? You really shouldn’t have spent your money-”

“I didn’t buy it, it’s mine” You cut him off, “Well, it was mine, it’s yours now”

You tried to hand it to him but Fox just pushed it back towards you, taking a step forward, “I couldn’t possibly take your property”

“I want you to have it” You grabbed his hand and forced him to take it, looking up into his eyes intently.

Fox’s heart stuttered at your intense gaze, aware of how your hand still rested over his as you awaited his reply. He looked down at the book, and turned it over to read the spine. His eyes quickly found yours again, and a grin had bloomed on your face.

“This is it” He breathed out, “The book I was looking for”

“It is” You nodded, finally taking your hand away from his.

“Wh- How- I didn’t even know what it was called, how did you…?”

“I guess I can read between the lines” You shrugged, your grin widening, and Fox laughed, the edges of his eyes crinkling. “I’ve read it a few times” You admitted, then flipped the book open, revealing annotations in the margins, “I went through and pointed out my favourite parts, wrote a bit about why and kinda analysed it a little”

“You wrote these notes for me?” He questioned, his voice sounding unusually small as his brows pinched together.

“Yeah” You gave him a warm smile, “That way, it’s like… personalised for you”

Fox was at a loss for words. You had really listened to him yesterday, and heard how his lack of personal effects weighed on his mind, and now you were giving him something of yours, and you had made it personal to him. His chest spread with warmth, his shoulders relaxing in a small contented sigh.

He let the book fall to his side, and he leaned forwards onto the balls of his feet, so his chest was almost against yours. He brought his hand up and gently brushed your hair away from your forehead, his hand lingering against your cheekbone. Your eyes shone up at him, and a genuine smile crossed his face.

“I'm glad I met you” Fox murmured, his voice low so that only you could hear.

“I know you are” You grinned.

Fox rolled his eyes, “Let me guess, because you can read me so well”

You chuckled, your head tipping to the side in thought, “I hadn’t thought of that one actually. Looks like you’re picking up my novel sense of humour though”

Fox scoffed a laugh, “You’re terrible”

“Maybe” You shrugged, “But I like to think that maybe you don't mind”

Fox hummed, “Perhaps not”

You grinned up at him for a moment, and then stepped back, “I should be getting back really, I'm not supposed to be here”

“You don't have to tell me that” Fox raised his eyebrows at you, “How did you manage get up here?”

“A fun story for another time” You smirked, disappearing around the corner.

Fox followed after you, watching you leave from where he leant in the doorway, when you stopped in your place and turned back to him. You seemed to be weighing something in your head, and then evidently decided to go through with it, jogging back over to him.

Fox raised an eyebrow as you came to stand in front of him, “What is it?”

“I forgot something”

“Forgot wha-?”

Fox was interrupted by you raising onto your tiptoes and placing a delicate kiss to his cheek, your hand finding his to steady yourself. The feel of your hand gently holding his, let alone your lips on his cheek, was enough to set his skin alight. His cheeks were already burning by the time you pulled away.

You gave him a sweet smile, squeezing his hand lightly and speaking in a whisper, “See you later”

Fox watched you go with wide eyes, his body unable to move from where it was firmly rooted to the ground. Your body finally disappeared out of the office, and he let out a breath he didn’t realise that he’d been holding, his body relaxing.

“So you did have a date” Stone nudged his brother, a grin almost splitting his face. Fox just gave him a withering look.

“What did I say about privacy?”

“Well I figured that since you made it everyone's business-”

“I suggest you get back to work, Stone”

“Yep. Got it”

Fox settled himself back at his desk, his fingers trailing along the spine of the book that was now in his possession. His cheeks were still burning, and they probably would be for the rest of the day. He was looking forward to going to the library that night, but it wasn’t for the books this time.

taglist: @darthnihila @cdblake1565

[suzukiblu]

Fic concept! AKA another soulmate AU. Working title: "kidnapping your soulmate for fun and profit".

Tim meets Superboy--Robin meets Superboy--and it goes, like . . . fine, he guesses. It's fine. They fight Metallo and Poison Ivy and don't die, though Superboy kinda looked like he wanted to when the kryptonite ring was happening to him.

Tim is a thorough little Bat-bastard, of course, so the day after all that goes down, he breaks into Cadmus. Well--breaks into their system, anyway. He figures knowing more about Superboy for the inevitable next time they meet up won't hurt, considering. Fully understanding potential allies' capabilities is--

There's photos in Superboy's file.

This would be completely irrelevant to everything, if those photos weren't specifically of Superboy's soulmark, which is so invasive and offensive that Tim feels kind of sick.

And also if that soulmark weren't the exact same one that showed up on him a few months back.

Well . . . okay, that's a . . . thing.

Tim has several sexuality crisises at once, then remembers platonic soulmates exist. But also he immediately had the sexuality crisises instead of ever thinking of platonic soulmates as being an option, which does not bode well for the "platonic"-ness of this particular soulmark.

Well, that's a whole thing now, he guesses.

Then he remembers that Poison Ivy kissed and mind-controlled Superboy. And also that Superboy, like, lives with his manager. His creepy, not very responsible, easily-blackmail-able manager. And also just . . . everything else he knows about the guy's life. Everything. All at once.

Tim has several more crisises and then calls Dick Grayson to freak out on him.

Tim: Is it ethical to kidnap your own soulmate and does that even matter if they're not legally a person and so you couldn't actually be charged for anything anyway? I mean, B can't get mad at me for doing it if the courts can't get me for doing it, right?

Dick: I'm sorry, Superboy's not legally a person?

Tim: Nope! Which neither Cadmus nor the sleazebag selling his likeness for a living has in any way tried to correct, for the record. Technically he's classified as intellectual property, but Cadmus forfeited legal possession when Superman turned up alive again, presumably to avoid Superman ever finding out that they'd had said legal possession, so technically if I went and kidnapped him it'd be more like . . . salvage, maybe? Like, in the eyes of the law, I mean.

Dick: Yeah, okay, in that case kidnapping your own soulmate might be less an ethics question and more a moral obligation.

Anyway, Nightwing-assured Tim immediately grabs his go-bag and goes to Hawaii to make his kidnapping plans. Like, he's just gonna start soft-planning something, nothing concrete yet. Obviously it's going to take a lot of work to get a cocky half-Kryptonian teenage clone with authority issues and an inflated ego kidnapped by a lone Robin, and--

Five minutes later "normal civilian" Tim Drake meets Superboy on the street after a supervillain attack and Superboy's soulmark is just on full display where his suit's ripped.

And a Bat knows when to take a perfectly-presented opportunity, obviously. He still can't actually kidnap Superboy yet, but he can tell him they're soulmates as a "civilian" and then--

Five minutes after that, Tim's on a plane back to Gotham with a perfectly agreeable and actually much more chill than he was when they were fighting supervillains together Superboy, and just does not understand his life at all.

Also maybe he should've, like . . . called Bruce about the apparently very ride-or-die Kryptonian that he's currently moving into his city? Just . . . at some point . . . ? Possibly?

Whoops.

[ravenlexis]

gonna say something controversial...

i'm going to put this under the cut bcs it got long. read at your own risk? check the tags?

i just backed out of a fic, which is smth that i do often when i don't like an aspect of it or when there's smth i'm uncomfortable with in the fic. there not actually anything like that with this recent one really, i'm not uncomfortable with anything or dislike anything about it.

just that not even third way through it, i realised that it's aventio. and while i'm a firm ratiorine enjoyer, the fic was rated T, i figured that i'll read it to see if i enjoy it, y'know?

i got through half of it before finally backing out.

this is where it might get controversial.

some months ago in the big year of 2024, there was a widespread discussion on many platforms (not just tumblr) on ship names. how it's all so boring nowadays, just the name of the characters smushed together and how dumb it is to differentiate one for when character A is the top and one for when character B is the top.

i do generally agree that some ship names could be better. there are some ship names that don't sound great no matter how their names are combined. but i do think it's actually important to differentiate the "top".

NOT just for PWP reasons, tho obviously that's one of the reasons why people have different ship names depending on which character tops. denying this particular reason is redundant.

mostly tho, from many (and i do mean, many) experience of reading fics, rated E, M, G, or T otherwise, people do write (and draw) differently depending on who tops.

this particular fic that i mentioned is one of them. aventio (and i'm using this bcs that's how the fic author intended it) were on a mission gone wrong (standard premise). ratio was escaping from the enemy, got cornered, got saved by avent, and off they went, improvising their escape route. during this whole thing, ratio was freaking out bcs avent was holding his hand (very cute author, plus ten points. we need more shy ratio in the fandom).

they got cornered into hiding and just when they were about to be able to escape unnoticed, ratio hit something in the dark and it crashed to the floor, loudly.

then they were both panicking, bcs clearly the enemy was investigating the noise. in a flash of brilliant problem solving, avent asked for ratio's agreement to fake make out with him (nothing fake about it tho, they both made the most of the situation and enjoyed themselves). the enemy was flustered (not recognising who they were), tried (and failed) to sternly warned them to evacuate (bcs after getting an eyeful of the smooching sesh, it's awkward for them lmao).

and i stopped reading there bcs i cracked up so hard i was late to work (and i'm not even joking).

bcs the author specifically typed smth along the lines of "Aventurine stayed where he was, covering Ratio with his body in the hopes to keep the guards from recognising him."

i was not prepared for that mental image, honestly.

i'm not making fun of the author in any way. it was refreshing to read up until that point. bcs in this fic, ratio is the one fumbling like a schoolgirl with a crush while avent was very assured in their partnership. but i just can't handle thinking that avent, who can stand behind ratio and hide without actually trying to, can actually hide ratio with his body.

and ngl, this fic writes ratio in an almost traditionally romance heroine way. he was blushy and giddy, even during the escape. freezing when the enemy cornered him and needed to be saved by avent.

i'm not saying ratiorine fics don't do this btw, there are fics that made avent a bit more traditionally feminine. (a damsel type of character, which just, no. he's very much capable, he had survived a lot canonically. i also backed out of those type of fics.)

what i am saying, and the whole point of this long post (which i thought was gonna be short), is that there's a necessity for the distinction of ship names. aventio and ratiorine both featured ratio and aventurine but they are depicted in vastly different ways. sometimes, the distinct ship name helps us find the art (be it fics or fanarts) that align with our characterisation of these characters.

every fan has different headcanons and characterisations for the characters they like, and while it may seem "confining" or "dumb" to care about who tops or bottoms, it actually impacts how someone writes (or draws) the characters.

i see so many artists that tagged their art as both ratiorine and aventio that clearly only needed to tag it as aventio and vice versa. there's a reason people use this system to begin with and it works for the longest time. those who don't care about who tops or just enjoy reading them switch dynamics usually use a third ship name.

honestly, if you reach this part, i appreciate you. be it bcs of curiosity or if you actually agree or reading just to disagree.

all that i ask is you actually pay attention and see if you can differentiate the distinction, how much the dynamics impact how the author or the artist portray them as individual characters. not just ratiorine in particular, but any ships you enjoy.

anyway, thanks for reading till the end. have a great time, be it early morning or late night or anything in between wherever you are. and if you do want to disagree, pls do so kindly.

[khazadaimenu]

I did a sort of a hc post about Fili and Kili mere hours ago and that kinda opened the flood gates within me.

Cause I literally live some of my internal life in that world and have story lines I wanna share. But don't want to bother with a fic.

So I'm just gonna blather on about it here for a bit. Isn't it what this platform is for? i kinda want to talk about this one thing.

Warning: it's a long post and it has mature themes. As well as very specific hcs that develop into an evolved AU from my head. So read at your discretion.

In short: it's about Fili and love

I mentioned a hc in another post that Fili goes from awkward older teen to fully fledged young adult in the space of one season.

That summer, he spends all his time blacksmithing and building walls with other dwarves in a village suffering from frequent orc raids.

We're talking all day every day. And he gets strong.

Like one of those movie scenes, you know, the ones where a character gets thrown into water and reemerges seemingly years later, all grown up and shit. The one from The Last Kingdom lives forever in my head.

So imagine same but with Fili. He's no longer a scrawny kid, but broad and muscly. Cherry on top? He gets a peltful of chest hair. All in one go. Like, there was none to begin with and now it's all just fur.

Imagine him emerging from a swim in a lake after a long hard day of labour. Beads of water glistening, the last rays of the setting sun reflecting on his skin. And it becomes a habit as of late August that year. The change in his physique very apparent by now.

Naturally, all the lads and lasses in the vicinity are enamoured. Giggling. Whispering. And surreptitiously pointing.

Which Fili doesn't mind. In fact, he welcomes it. It's a sort of respite from all the princely duties. He wants to be young and live a little.

Here I have to clarify that personally (I know there's tons of variation here, so no hate, this is just my slutty corner of the universe) I hc Fili as pansexual. He's happy to love and share joy.

I think there's a particular type of pressure that only Fili feels and Kili doesn't. Where he knows he's loved, but Kili is the baby and Fili's the heir. And that's reflected in his relationship with his mother, with Thorin, with everyone. So he needs somewhere to just... be carefree. And that's either hanging out with Kili or... looking for adventure. And he's good at it so it gives him a confidence boost.

And no hearts broken. Cause dwarves only do this kinda stuff before they find their One. Or some dwarves aren't inclined romantically, but still go for it physically. And then there's the ace dwarves who choose their craft only. Either way, infidelity doesn't exist in dwarven culture. You either love someone and forget everyone else exists. Or you know you'll never have a One. Or you're not interested completely.

Fili is actually not sure about love. He's not sure it exists for him. He has long chats with Nori about it, who is 100% sure about his own standing: here just to f*k. But Fili's not so sure.

And when he miraculously gets saved before getting killed by Azog (I'm getting into my OC and AU here, so bear with me) he becomes even more convinced. Cause if he wasn't meant to live, why would Mahal make a One for him in the first place?

So when he falls in love with his human saviour, it all kinda gets too much.

1) The responsibility to his people. To uphold the culture.

2) Is he even capable of love?

3) Kili's in love with an elf. Everyone wants a happy ending for him. But dwarves as a group still hold quite a bit of prejudice. An elf in the royal bloodline? Not so fast!

So Fili has to take the fall. Kili will be alllowed to marry if he and any future heirs forsake their claim to the throne AND Fili provides said heirs as staunch 100% dwarves.

Fili tries to object - he doesn't think he can find a One (while internally wrestling with his existing feelings, denying them, burying them and gaslighting himself into oblivion). But then Dis digs up an old law about those in royal lineages marrying without love just to produce heirs (based on some earlier Tolkien drafts where only the dwarven kings married and nobody else among dwarves). And now Fili is well and truly f*ked stuck between a rock and a hard place.

He can't imagine his life without Kili, so the option where Kili is exiled hurts like hell.

In the meantime, his human leaves. They have their own duty to fulfill. That triggers the revelation in him that they are in fact his One.

Which means, by getting into arranged marriage he will forsake one of the most sacred laws of dwarves - he will betray his One.

The thought is unbearable. He considers briefly ending it all. Not a serious thought, just something that comes out of sheer exhaustion.

Kili remains unaware. Fili can't do this to his brother - he is giddy and talking excitedly about his own future happiness once Fili's wedding goes ahead.

Being an heir sucks sometimes. Sucks majorly.

Fili decides to go ahead with a union Dis chose for him. All the while keeping his feelings hidden from everyone.

He doesn't believe he'll ever see his person of choice ever again. And they're not a dwarf. So is it really a betrayal?..

I'll share what comes next in another post, hopefully. If I have a spurt of inspiration.

[erinwantstowrite]

Do you know roughly how much of chapter 15 are gonna be like content warnings or about peters child abuse? I'm trying to avoid as much of the triggering content as I can but I also want to read as much of the chapter as I safely can

If not do you know roughly where in the chapter that content is gonna be?

i will put be putting trigger warnings before the chapter with more detail (because i haven't written a particular scene yet so i don't know the specifics of what i'll need to mention), but i can give a general idea

(this will be below the cut. please take care of yourself. i will be talking about child abuse in many forms. there's four paragraphs, giving a general statement about the content, but will not be going into detail)

it's going to get very heavy. peter alludes to a lot of things he's been through with foster parents. in the first scene, peter has a physical reaction and starts apologizing, dick and wally both reassure him and have a talk about it, so peter will feel safe. peter does not notice that he even has this reaction. but it opens the door to dick having to ask questions so that he DOESN'T accidentally trigger peter, and that's most of the chapter. scene 1, and scene 3/4 (while there's not a break, this scene will feel like 2 different scenes, and the second part is where this is brought up) will be talking about the child abuse with dick, because dick asks about it

peter will not be having flashbacks or going into extreme detail, but he will be talking about it and some of the specifics with dick. he'll talk about the different foster parents he had, he'll talk about just how many people in his life died, he'll talk about the impact that it had on him, etc. he'll also be talking about various forms of child abuse, both physical and mental, from multiple foster parents. but he won't be talking about what westcott did beyond the day that peter ran away. peter is not ready to talk about the SA, so he won't be doing so. there will be a fic in the LoF series that delves into that (but again I'll say that I will not be including flashbacks nor describing in detail what happened to him. it will be talked about, peter will be having reactions and working through it, but i do not want to write the actual scene of it happening. and in that fic, which is a while from now, dick will also be talking about his own SA).

And I really, really have to mention that Peter's narration on this topic is unreliable and biased. the way that he views his trauma is not the way that he should, he still has a lot to go with healing from his past. His narration could be triggering because of how he views himself. he thinks that how he went about this was stupid, but no one around peter will think the same. dick will talk to him about this and peter's viewpoint will start to shift. but in the beginning, it's very sad to see

I hope to do this topic justice and in a way that doesn't hurt any of my readers. I have people that will look over this chapter to make sure that I do, but that responsibility falls on me. I value you all and I care about your well being. I get a lot of asks talking about how they can relate to Peter in LoF, and please know that even if I don't respond to these asks (potentially triggering topics) I see you and I hear you. I'm so sorry that you were left behind and hurt. You didn't deserve what happened to you, no one does. You are important and I'm glad you're with us today. Please take care of yourself. If you find that reading chapter 15 will be too much, I understand completely. I will be putting a summary of the chapter on my page to give an overview of what happened but without the details. It will be a clinical transcript of sorts.

[leashybebes]

#in my deeply and thoroughly jossed tommy begins fic which i will get to some day he denies that he's traumatised because he's just #"a messy closet case who's never too far from tears when he's alone with himself" and it's like i wrote that and rewired my own brain

*ears perking up*👀👀👀

I just know this is gonna be so good!!!🩵

(Comes from a person who also denies she’s traumatized)

Ooh, thank you! I have around 5k of it written, but I wrote myself into a corner with the structure and got annoyed with myself. For you, a snippet 💖 (We can also call this fic Tommy Goes To Therapy or Tommy vs. The Trauma Checklist Agenda)

Tommy is twenty seven years old and he is trying. He is twenty seven and he is figuring himself out and he feels like a teenager, like a failure. It's horrible and difficult and mostly it feels like he gets an hour a week to pick over the corpses of his mistakes. But he thinks about the specifics, little things like having someone to drop by the firehouse in the middle of a long shift, like Hen's wife, or Howie's latest ill-advised squeeze. He thinks about not being so fucking careful all the time that he feels like he's going to shatter.

He thinks - he thinks - it will be worth it. So. Tommy is twenty seven and he feels like he's white-knuckling his way through every human interaction, but he is really, really trying.

The first time Zarah names the thing at the root of his fear as trauma, Tommy recoils. Because he's seen what trauma has done to people and he, what? He's a messy closet case who's never particularly far from tears when he's alone with himself. Wow. He knows Zarah doesn't like it when he thinks about himself in that disparaging way, but right now he doesn't care what she likes. It's stupid. He's not traumatized just because he made a shitty decision as a teenager and regrets it now.

He comes around a little when she gives him a couple of checklists to fill out, and when she makes it clear she's not talking about military trauma. Or not just that, anyway. 

One sticks out in particular, a trauma risk checklist, and Tommy remembers the high risk column blurring as he read avoidance coping style and poor self regulation of emotion and poor parent-child relationship. So. So, maybe. Maybe he's at higher risk than average but nothing really - not that nothing happened, Tommy saw shit, did shit, but no more than anyone else. No catastrophic failure, no desert crashes, no more than the usual number of desperate firefights.

"You weren't scared?" Zarah asks, looking interested.

"What?"

"I mean you've said you're scared of someone finding out right now, when you work for an organization which - while regressive in places as you've unfortunately experienced - doesn't have any active regulations against you fully experiencing your sexuality. I'm wondering why that wasn't the case then."

"I - " Tommy is stumped.

[englandsgirl18181234]

How does Ares perceive Athena and has this changed throughout time? I got the impression from the musical that Ares and Athena actually got along or were somewhat friendly rivals rather than the contempt they seem to have for each either in PJO canon. Ares, in particular, seemed worried at the end of God Games, as he was the first one to voice that worry out loud after the bolt hit her. How does he feel about what Zeus just did? Is he grieving? If he is, is he surprised by that? Or did that ‘friendliness’ in their rivalry never really stop being there in his mind even if from Athena’s side it looked different?

So Ares is pretty interesting in this fic as far as his relationship with Athena goes.

He's genuinely one of the people Athena has the best relationship with on Olympus, from both of their perspectives.

She and Ares both loved sparring and debating with each other, they genuinely had a great time arguing their various stances on different things.

He's actually the only one on the council that realized something was truly wrong with Athena after God Games. He didn't know what was wrong specifically, but he very clearly saw the change in her when she finally returned to Olympus, and saw as it got worse.

(Dionysus didn't actually figure anything out, he figured she was grieving some of her kids, but I don't think that's gonna come up for a while, if at all)

She was skittish and afraid, which he was expecting after everything Zeus had put her through, and his own unwilling part in it, but she was also spacey and forgetful and it steadily got worse as time went on.

He's never been particularly fond of Zeus, for all that he was also afraid of him, but this? He's horrified and enraged and feels so, so helpless in a way he never has before.

And he absolutely is grieving Athena! She was his sister, even if they weren't necessarily super close outside of their debates and spars. He still loved her just as much he always did, even as her condition slowly got worse and she got more cutthroat and mean during their time together.

And one thing I'm not certain came through in that chapter as well as I would have liked is that Athena isn't necessarily the most reliable narrator at the moment. She still has her own biases from her upbringing and she's recovering from a severe traumatic brain injury that came about from direct damage to her very soul. She's still not fully in her right mind, and as she gets better she's going to realize that.

Plus, she's grieving in her own way. As far as she knows, unless Hades decides to be particularly kind, she's never going to be able to see any of them again. So at the moment, she's trying to convince herself that that isn't as much of a loss as it is.

She's still not wrong about any of it, and is even understating certain parts, but she's also making herself look at them all at their worst and not as they were usually.

So yeah, she's grieving and hurting and recovering from grievous soul damage that's haunted her every moment for more than 3000 years and she needs time to process all of that.

And as for Ares, tldr: he loved Athena, he's shocked and devastated by her death, and he's suddenly understanding a lot of things that he didn't know the details of before.

[itsjustwincest]

I'm gonna need some fic recs from you. I just know you'll know the kinda wincest I need 🙏🏻🙏🏻

Hi, anon! Sorry it took so long for me to respond to this, I was filtering through all of my stuff to decide what I was going to recommend first. A lot of these are kind of classic ones to read. They've all gotten a lot of hits, and for a really good reason.

I'll post more recs in the future, especially hidden gems, and maybe a list of Dead Dove (like, the dove died, was resurrected, and died again) kind of content, because I have a lot of those to reccommend, too.

All of these are rated E. Most of the things I've bookmarked are, ngl, but if you want some T or below fics, I'd be happy to do a list of those, too!

First up is The Little Spoon by leonidaslion. This is an established relationship fic. It's 2k words and is the perfect mix of adorable and slightly smutty. To his horror, Sam discovers that he's a stealth!snuggler.

Next is, in my opinion, a Must Read. It's Couples Counseling by MsImpala67. It's a getting together fic, which I have a particular fondness for, especially those involving a fake relationship, like this one. What better way to investigate a marriage counselor (who may or may not be responsible for the death of six of her clients) than to go to marriage counseling? It's just pretend right? No different than putting on the FBI suits. Of course, nothing ever goes according to plan, and Sam and Dean quickly get more than they bargained for. It's 18k words over 10 chapters, and very worth the read.

Fragments by arclucifer666 is a one shot. The smell of sex is still in the air, and all these memories are making his cock swell up. And he hopes there will be one more round before his guest leaves. Don't open this one in public, there is a porny gif at the end. Little bt of fluff, luttle bit of soft sex. CW for somnophilia.

I don't often do AUs, but A Fire Ever Burning by BewareTheIdes15 is a fun read. It's based on the world of Pern, which you don't need to be familiar with to read. It is a dragon riding AU that kept me absolutely invested from beginning to end. It's 16 k words of charming for anyone with a love for the fantastical. Sam and Dean have always been oddities among the dragonriders; the youngest man to Impress a Bronze dragon in a hundred years and a boy who turned his back on the riders to become a dragon healer instead. But when fate steps in a chooses a far different path for Sam, the brothers and all the Weyrs of Pern will have to come to terms with much greater changes in their traditions.

I want to add a bajillion more, but I am going to limit myself to two. I'm realizing I have a lot of Sam/Dean/other, but I will do those on another list.

I have to throw an ABO and a case fic in, so I'll give you a twofer. Opus Amore by Skylee is all of my favorite tropes wrapped up in one. Sam and Dean go undercover at a couples retreat for Alphas and their Omegas to root out a monster. Dean hates being an Omega so the fact that he'll have to openly be one and stop taking his suppressants pisses him off. Still, the more they pretend to be a happy Omega and Alpha couple, the more he starts to think that maybe being an Omega isn't so bad, not if Sam is his Alpha. It's all of my favorite tropes. Hesitant Omega Dean, fake relationship, getting together, clever monster hunt. 31k words over 17 chapters and I'm ngl, I read this in one sitting.

Finally, last but certainly not least, The Truth In The Lie by flawedamythyst. It's another fake relationship case fic. The side characters are fun, the hunt is fun, it's just another all around awesome read. Sam and Dean pretend to be gay lovers while they hunt a monster on a bus tour of Nova Scotia.

There you have it. My first ever wincest fic recommendations. As I said before, all of these are well-loved on AO3, with good reason. I want to do more of these lists, especially if any of you have something specific you want to read.

[king-candybug-backup]

#I’M SO NERVOUS BECAUSE THERE’S A THING THAT HAPPENS IN IT WHERE I FEEL LIKE PEOPLE MIGHT NOT LIKE THE CHARACTERIZATION #BUT I’M DOING IT ANYWAYS BECAUSE IT’S BASICALLY THE CATALYST OF INSPIRATION FOR THE WHOLEASS FIC #I’M GONNA DO THINGS MY WAY AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME SFGHDFGVJB

Color me both extremely curious and slightly terrified of what these tags might mean. What are you planning. Mom come pick me up I'm scared.

But let me tell you, judging from the AMAZINGLY fitting characterization in this fic so far, I feel like you could do the wildest shit with these guys and STILL have it feel satisfying and in-character, so try not to worry so much and trust your instincts! I know for a fact that I'll be happily eating up whatever you dish out. :) Your writing is so awesome that I already know it's going to be a fun time lol

DFGHSCHG DON'T GIVE ME TOO MUCH LEEWAY, WHAT IF NEXT CHAPTER TURBO APOLOGIZES TO EVERYBODY FOR ALL HIS WRONGDOINGS AND THEY BECOME THE BEST OF FRIENDS AND MAKE EACH OTHER FLOWER CROWNS ALL DAY LMAO (I jest, of course, but y'know 😂😂😂😂 Thank you though, I appreciate that so very much, I'm just constantly overthinking crap augh)

For a bit of extra context on The Upcoming Thing, I am writing him through the lens of having NPD, and there’s one particular aspect of it that I see get kinda glossed over A LOT (not just regarding King Candy, I mean about NPD in general), so I’m gonna be getting into some nitty-gritties that I feel like people might view as a little “OOC” as compared to what we’ve gotten in canon (which is totally fine ofc, I’m basically working off a headcanon after all (though there is one very specific scene that also kinda got glossed over in the movie which is what extra-convinced me he’d probably have it, but I will get more into that when the chapter is published) and my interpretation of him is in no way gospel, but one of the main comments I’ve gotten doing this fic so far is how people seem to appreciate how “in-character” King Candy feels, so I’m just feeling like I might disappoint a few people in that regard if they don’t vibe with my interpretation for this particular scene coming up, lmao) but it’s something very important to me that I really, really want to touch on, so I’m doing it regardless of what others may think, hopefully people will still enjoy it, but if not, ah well. 😂 It’s my fic at the end of the day, and I’m not gonna change one of the core aspects of what inspired it gfdgcfhvb

(There will be a bit more explanation in the chapter notes, so it’ll be a bit of a “hear me out” lol, but try to bear with me! 😂)

Also I just want to make it VERY clear that this will not be a "King Candy is a terrible person because he has NPD" kind of story, that is the exact opposite of what I am going for, the reason I'm approaching this topic from the angle that I am is because there is a very, very misunderstood mindset towards NPD that I want to get into, and hopefully things will be made more clear when the chapter comes out. It may sound a bit counter-productive, doing the whole "give the villain NPD" headcanon thing, but I hope y'all can trust that my intention is ABSOLUTELY not to demonize, and that you're willing to hear me out about what I mean when the time comes! 🙏

[lover-of-mine]

Me? Wanting to talk about the locker room scene in comparison to the cemetery scene to make a point no one asked about? Raise your hand if you saw this is coming 🙋‍♀️

Anyway, this is madness written by a gifmaker/video editor who hates coloring the cemetery scene with a burning passion and who spent the better part of the past 2 days trying to make a coloring work for the locker room scene, who also did some asking around with other editors who also seem to be having issues with the scene, and who spends way too much time thinking about Buck and death (someone drown that man, please).

I'm gonna start this off by saying that I don't really believe the cemetery scene will be directly addressed on the show no matter how much I wish it would. But something about the cemetery scene besides the actual content of the scene that keeps me up at night and had me writing multiple fics dealing with it, is the fact that the sky is only blue behind Eddie.

Why is that relevant in any way, shape, or form? The colors when the focus is on Buck or both of them have this almost yellowish tone that the focus on Eddie doesn't have. The sky and colors strongly imply that they added a filter to it in post-production to ensure the colors looked like that, along with the fact that it is a scene that's really weird to color something that happens when they go too hard on the filters *cough* crossover *cough* pilot *cough*. What does that have to do with the locker room? The locker room also has this almost yellowish tone that makes it hell to color. But based on my 2 days of testing different colorings and techniques, it seems to be a hell of a lot worse when the shot has that wall over there where the sun is hitting as a background.

That suggests that they wanted the scenes to have a specific lighting that they achieved later. Considering the way that the tendency of the cemetery is that the colors get muted or weirdly blended together and that the locker room goes YELLOW, I am assuming that they messed with the colors on the cemetery to make the colors look faded, giving it that gloomy feeling, which in turn made the sky almost white, and that they needed that sunlight reflecting on the wall to look that bright, which made the scene look a lot more yellow than it should. Seriously, trying to work this out I legit make it look like Buck is a Simpsons character.

Okay, but Anna, why did you make this particular connection? Well, the word is muted when Buck is talking about starting to date Natalia and then the sun gets brighter when he talks about them breaking up? COME ON. He's calling the relationship boring and the word literally gets brighter as he says it, madness.

Buck talking about dating Natalia -> Buck talking about breaking up with Natalia (please don't judge the gifs I don't want the stress of coloring them combined right now lol)

But that's the same reaction. Dude is smiling going in, he's smiling going out.

And considering Buck's relationship with his own death and the way I strongly believe that what drew him to Natalia was the fact that she didn't think his death was a tragedy and he wasn't ready to deal with the reality of had happened to him yet, to get him to the point where death is boring is progress. Makes me fear for my Buck breakdown wishes, but it is progress for that particular aspect of Buck, considering he has a very intricate relationship with death down to the fact he was born as a hail mary to prevent it. We have multiple near-death experiences, we have him saving the lives of people loves multiple times, the first time we see him he's saving a kid who drowned, his first big conflict is the fact that he's not handling not being able to save someone's life all that well, I can keep going, but you see my point, right?

The arc with Natalia, even though we didn't see the originally planned conclusion since the actress couldn't come back, had this point of Buck looking at what happened to him through the eyes of someone who didn't know him before and was actually excited about that happening, so he could distance himself from what happened and look at it from a "safe" distance. That distance also allowed him to ignore the very important "I need to do this for myself" thing from the coma dream because Buck is terrified of being alone, and that definitely includes the fear of finding out who he is by himself. Buck is bad at being alone, from meaningless sex, to hanging on to Abby too long, to hanging on to Taylor too long, to jumping in with Natalia, the first pretty girl who looked his way, it all makes this part of him very clear (parenthesis because I just had a thought, yes, Buck latches on to Taylor out of fear of being alone triggered by Eddie almost dying, but he thought he could have died himself considering the crane and everything about it and also the way he could very much have been shot at the same time as Eddie, he latched on to Natalia because he did die, he also almost died on his first date with Abby and Abby actually reached out to him when he was feeling all sorts of bad over someone dying, and he is held at gunpoint and watched a death that deeply affected him before he started dating Ali, so we have death as a connection here too, if that makes sense, I might have to come back to this thought later).

But the thing is, when you look at 6a for Buck considering the fact that Buck is passively suicidal, in a very I'm not trying to get killed but I don't think I don't care if I do die way, and how he probably thought he was going to die in a blaze of glory saving someone, and how he actually died in a pretty run-of-the-mill call, by something no one has any control over it, Buck's relationship with what he thought death was and would be for him changed. For one, Buck was not ready for how much it affected everyone around him, he never considered what the grief of losing him would do to the people he loves, but also, Buck's main excuse for his near-death experiences/impulsive behavior that puts him in mortal danger was "but I didn't actually die" like with the blood clots or "I didn't get the worst of it" like with the shooting, I think even the tsunami a little bit with how he felt about losing Chris. But he did actually die, and considering the fact that he went up that ladder when Chimney was ready to go up and Eddie also got hit by the lightning, he also got the worst of it. So he lost his own coping mechanism.

So he arrived at a point where death is boring and he is smiling like an idiot at Eddie welcoming him "back to the world of the living" and that could have fun implications going forward. Because, one, he still hasn't dealt with a big emotion in a healthy way, and two, Bobby is in mortal danger. Considering his reaction to Bobby being dead in his coma world and the fact that he has no coping mechanism left when it comes to death anymore along with his own relationship with water and danger we could have some fun reactions to these types of triggers for him there.

And thinking about the way Oliver keeps talking about Buck learning more about himself and also about Buck leaning on Eddie, someone who had his own journey dealing with multiple layers of his relationship with death, they have a fun space to play with there, with Buck's relationship with death, Eddie's relationship with Buck's death, and everything else that could happen with Eddie fully dealing with Shannon's death, and Buck dealing with anything really, Daniel, his own death, his fear of being alone, all as someone who actually wants to live, who's not just moving because he's alive and has no other alternative.

That's it for today, as always, if you reached this I love you 💜

[asthedeathoflight]

I am so curious about their names!

Cleon (meaning Renowned) was an Athenian General during the Polype

Cochise was a leader of the Chiricahua Apache and a key figure during the Apache Wars.

*Ajax the Greater was a mythological figure in Homer’s Iliad, strongest of the Achaeans. He wielded a Bronze shield. [Rembrandt for the artist, but also the name is an amalgamation of words that mean ‘Advice’, ‘Brand’, ‘Sword’)

Swan ‘Cygnus’ and Fox ‘Vulpecula’ are constellations.

And then there’s Cowgirl.

*not to be confused with Ajax the Lesser in the same work. He probably works better for movie Ajax.

Why do you think these are the names they chose? Or were given?

Oh yes i DO have a lot of thoughts about this actually. Note: I'm gonna get Watsonian here. I know the names came from the movie and I don't care. These women are getting gnc with it.

Cleon - Cleon is obviously the name of a general which I feel is pretty self explanatory in like yk Cleon embodying all this leadership and tactical stuff. But also I'm obsessed with the way Cleon sounds? Bc Cleon obviously contains the feminine name Cleo but then has this masculine ending with -n but its not a hard sound like t or k its just a very decisive sound. So like taking Cleo which is like more open ended and feminine and like closing it off with the n to make it less of a question and more of a declaration. That might not make sense to anyone but it's extremely real to me.

Cochise - Cochise is really interesting to me as a character (<- person who just got done writing a cochise-pov fic) because she inhabits a really interesting place in the gang hierarchy? She's also named after a general like Cleon, but she doesn't make any attempts to assert her authority like Ajax and Swan do. However she has a bunch of moments where you can see that she does share a lot of Cleon's vision and ability to think tactically. In my head Cochise has actually been a Warrior a little bit longer than Cleon, but she never really wanted to lead so she's happy to fall in line, but like deep down there is an understanding among the Warriors that she is the true eldest sister of all of them. And so it's just interesting to me that she and Cleon are both famous generals.

Ajax - none of you were there for this but a few weeks ago i got real fucked up reading the Ajax the Greater wikipedia page. Because like okay. Ajax's whole thing is that he's a protector. He's not an offensive fighter, he's all about defending the other Greek warriors. More specifically, hes mostly mentioned in the Iliad covering the Greeks when they're in RETREAT. Which makes me crazy. For obvious reasons.

Rembrandt - very crazy to me. Im obsessed with girls with boys names and Rembrandt is no different. Like the obvious take here is that they're calling her a famous artist as a joke because she's just a graffiti artist but also its very deeply charming to me that they chose Rembrandt in particular because his work is very (to me (crazy)) like subtle and delicate and emotional compared to other famous artists like picasso or da vinci? Like the way Rembrandt handles light is with such like depth and intentionality (lighting designer goes on about light in a painting, more at 7) its everything to me. So its so charming to me that hes the artist she's named after because it says so much about her personality that they named her after a more like subtle and detail oriented artist.

Swan - very cute to me that Cleon named her Swan. Like on the one hand its just a kind of cute nickname and then obviously theres the whole ugly duckling thing. Swan is just so not badass as a name but I love that Swan owns that that's her name and is badass enough to make up for having like a more diminutive nickname than the others.

Fox - another animal name! Very cute to me. I think Cleon named Fox too i think she just likes giving ppl animal names :)

And Cowgirl is important to me too! I do think her name is very interesting! Because out of all of them Cowgirl is the least name-y? Like I find it very hard to believe anyone could get away with calling Ajax anything other than Ajax. But I find it equally hard to believe that Cowgirl really spends her whole life being called Cowgirl. So her having a sillier name indicates to me that she has more of a life outside of the Warriors than the others, but that makes her devotion to them more impactful to me because like she does have other options and she still chooses to put her life on the line with them even though she probably could live a more normal life if she wanted.

Another interesting point about names: Fox and Cowgirl both introduce themselves in their bits in the cypher as being CALLED (name) and WHY they have the names they do. For Fox this feels like because she's still pretty new and so she's getting used to being Fox and she's proud of having earned that name but I think that it's interesting that even though Cowgirl is a more established Warrior she still seems to think of Cowgirl as a nickname the others call her and not like actually her name.

Thank you all for coming to my ted talk and please do not hesitate to ask any and all questions like this you can think of first and foremost I am a yapper and I love to yap.

[sxpphicwitch]

In general, I'm ok with the finale. I thought the Billy All Along Hex thing was a bit tacky but it is Marvel so I'll let them off. However, I'm disappointed with the Agatha x Rio plot line for a number of reasons.

The first episodes had this smoldering, hurt, wanting thing between the two of them, like they'd hated one another for so long but we were about to see some kind of resolution. We see the first fight, then the road truce, "she is my scar", then "well her mother can't have her", then "I like the bad boys". It felt like a total and complete tone change to "I never want to see your face again".

Then, when we get to the flashback episode, it's hard to connect to why Agatha's so hurt that Rio is doing her job, because we have zero context of what they mean to one another in the 1700s except for "my love". Yeah Agatha's gonna be sad her kid's gonna die, but she's specifically hurt that Rio is going to reap him. But we the viewer only have a modern context for their relationship (and actually a lot of that context comes from vague statements made in interviews). It's sad that her kid is destined to die, but Rio gives her time with him (which is markedly more than a lot of mothers got in the 1700s, that's for certain). And, although a lot of people are hypothesising that Rio is also Nicky's parent, they did not confirm that (and easily could've, and would've also fleshed out why Nicky couldn't live, being born of Death etc etc). I'd have even been happier with the explicit framing of Rio as an absent parent, and their contemporary relationship framed in the context of the loss of a shared child.

But the main reason I'm left feeling something's missing is because we're never shown why Rio cares so much about the feelings of this mortal witch. I'm left wondering why they bothered to include a romantic relationship at all.

And, what's so difficult for me is that it could've been fixed with a few lines and a short scene showing how they met, something like that. It feels like there were key scenes edited out.

I've seen a lot of takes that are something along the lines of "the show wasn't about them, it was about grief etc etc" and that's great but actually, for a lot of people, the show was about them. I watch Marvel stuff casually, I wouldn't say I'm a Marvel fan per se, I was specifically drawn in by the marketing decisions made surrounding that particular aspect of the show. So to have essentially no further fleshing out of that relationship, a kiss which is the kiss of death and then the vague promise that Agatha will turn up in some show about teenagers with powers, doesn't really cut it for me.

So yeah, those are my thoughts.

I'd like to take the opportunity to thank (in advance) the incredibly talented fanfiction writers who are probably already toiling away writing fix-it fics. You're all angels.

[voxofthevoid]

Random, what are your top favorite fics that you've written (feel free how much that you want to list)? Why they're special to you? Is there a specific inspiration when you wrote them?

Oh, this is gonna be dominated by JJK 😂. I'm always more aware, let's say, of things I wrote more recently. On top of that, with JJK fics, I've tried new things and challenged myself (successfully) a lot more than I have with my previous fandoms.

I've picked 7: five from JJK, plus one each from Bleach and MCU.

1. (let me be clear) every version of the story ends with you being slaughtered

JJK, goyuu: When told to choose his hell, Itadori Yuuji picks the easier one—a clean death, then and there. He couldn’t have known that it was never really a choice. Or, Gojou Satoru kidnaps a teenager, supposedly for his own good.

This is the work I'm most proud of among all my stories, and I'm sure that'd be the case even without recency bias. Not only is it the first canon rewrite I completed, it's also a story that tackles a lot of themes and tropes I find highly compelling, in general and with regard to JJK in particular. Plotting and executing it was a fun challenge; I worked with an extensive outline, but the plot and characters evolved significantly during the writing process. It was fun from the beginning to the end (there's a reason I finished this in less than two months), and the final result is something I'm immensely satisfied with.

2. bloodstains on the collar means just don't ask

JJK, sukuita and goyuu: Yuuji has a type. Unfortunately, his uncle and his teacher embody that type.

This was my first no-powers AU for JJK, and I ended up liking it way more than I expected. Transposing Yuuji, Gojou, and Sukuna to a mundane setting while keeping their relationships twisted really helped me get a deeper and better understanding of their characters and relationships. In particular, I'm now far more comfortable writing sukuita and utterly in love with their uncle/nephew dynamic. I write or intend to write plenty of incest for JJK, but most of those didn't really delve into the implications of the blood relation (due to canon circumstances), but this story is explicitly and excruciatingly clear on how Sukuna's known and (in his own fucked-up way) cared for Yuuji since he was an infant. It's a flavor I hadn't tackled before but enjoyed immensely.

3. little lamb to the slaughter

JJK, goyuu: Gojou offers to blow Yuuji as part of his training; it escalates from there.

It's rare that I fill in canon missing moments like this, but I just couldn't resist the basement era. I'm so fond and proud of this because this is the fic that cemented my grasp on Yuuji's character, in addition to helping me flesh out Gojou and Yuuji's canon dynamic. Hilariously, back when I came up with this, I figured this would be my most imbalanced, unhealthy dynamic for JJK/goyuu, but not only did this fic turn out pretty wholesome (...aside from the statutory rape aspect that goes ignored in-verse), but the bulk of my subsequent ideas for this ship makes this fic look like puppies and unicorns in comparison. I guess that impression came because it'd been quite a while since I tackled adult/minor, so it felt taboo in a way I took time to adjust to—now I thrive here.

4. the brute fact of flesh awaiting our teeth

JJK, fem!goyuu: Satoru embarks on a quest to seduce her hot giant of a teacher and continuously bites off more than she can chew.

I started this because I wanted to write filthy femlash porn, which I absolutely did do and enjoy immensely, but the reason this ended up so high on my list of favorite children fics is because exploring the role reversal dynamic and the genderbending one in tandem helped me better flesh out adult!Yuuji, especially one that lived with Sukuna for years and eventually subsumed him (her, in this case), and get a good handle on how I want to work in the gender changes while retaining their canon traits. I've tried at my hand both dynamics before, separately, but the length and depth of this fic solidified both. Also, I go wild for tits and pussy, and it shows.

5. i could keep your bed warm, otherwise i'm useless

JJK, goyuu and sukuita: Sukuna in Megumi’s body rapes Yuuji to break Megumi’s spirit, and Gojou rescues him but isn’t very sane afterward.

This is going to sound demented, but I like this one so much because it has the most viscerally uncomfortable rape scene I've ever written. It's not the sukuita; that's straightforward violent rape. But the goyuu that follows features a specific flavor of intimate violence framed as tenderness: someone who cares about you pushing your boundaries and actively retraumatizing you—not in spite of the love or even from a lack of love but because of the love.

6. and you cried, love's like watching someone die

Bleach, grimmichi: Repeat reincarnation cycle AU where Ichigo never remembers and Grimmjow never forgets.

This is a total angst train that was something of an ambitious project, in terms of technique, characterization and the general mood I wanted to evoke. Judging by my post-fic analysis and my readers' reactions, I succeeded. Writing such a heavy emotional story from Grimmjow's PoV wasn't easy, and the non-linear sequence was a bitch to sort out, but I'm very happy with how it turned out.

7. here is the repeated image of the lover destroyed

MCU, stucky: Steve's helpless not to love his ghosts.

Memory, identity, and associated manifestations of love and grief are themes that have haunted me for years now, including in the JJK fandom, but these two stories are my best takes on it, in my view. Said themes are already intrinsically present in Steve and Bucky's relationship, and this series recasts their past and their present to prod at questions of how much of us is our memories and experiences and how much is something there in core—a soul, so to speak. This is a fundamentally romantic take on the topic, so the outcome is obvious, but I'd like to say the answers are a little complicated.

[hecoxthirst]

Everyone uses tags on Ao3 differently, but personally, as someone who's been writing fanfic on and off on that website for about a decade, there's two main reasons i tag:

So people who enjoy a trope can easily find what they are looking for. So anything that might interest people, any popular tag that applies to my fic (example: enemies to lovers, mutual pining, first kiss, etc; but also stuff like smut, fluff, porn without plot, blow jobs, etc)

So people can avoid stuff they don't wanna see, and this is where i get very detailed especially when it comes to sex acts and kinks because I am aware than anyone's mileage may vary. So someone might see a fic tagged "friends to lovers, slow burn, porn with feelings" and think "wow this is for me" but then see "anal fisting" and go "ew, never mind".

I want everyone to easily find my fic if they look up a specific tag that applies, but I also want anyone to be able to avoid my fic if they choose to exclude a certain tag in their filtered search.

Some people, especially younger, might not be aware that the filtered search is even an option, they might just open the ship or fandom tag and start scrolling, but that's not how most people operate on Ao3, because it's an archive, it's not social media, so you are supposed to search for the stuff you want (and filter out the stuff you don't want). You are supposed to do the work yourself. It's more fun and it's totally worth it!

This is why it's important to read the tags accurately. And also why a tag like Dead Dove: Do Not Eat used to be useful when it still had it's original meaning. Which was supposed to be "Hey, did you read the tags? Good, because that's exactly what happens in this fic, so don't read it and then act like I didn't warn you!" instead of, you know, a generic "There might be problematic content in here but I'm not telling you what", which defeats the purpose.

Anyway, if someone, for example, not anyone in particular, were to dislike or be triggered by a specific kink such as, and I'm gonna name a totally random one such as, let's say, OMORASHI, they can filter out the tag in their search and Ao3 will not even show it in the results!

Another option is also to mind your fucking business when you see something that clearly isn't for you and move on. It's simple, it's easy, and it's free. Almost like pouring river water into your socks :)

[eldritchamy]

Hi, its the former Feralist again.

The worldbuilding just really struck a raw nerve on first glance? On second glance it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought but it STILL infuriates me on a couple of points, mostly in implications that people failed to think through. I've calmed down about it, because it IS just kink, but there are parts of the worldbuilding that I still cannot touch without being viscerally upset.

(I could get into depth if you want, but once again, it is just kink; I don't expect kink writers to think about every last implication of their worldbuilding.)

Anyway, I am currently reading my way through Abscission, which is helping somewhat with certain things that upset me wrt disability and stuff. I'm really excited to read your suggestions!

Signed, A (Formerly) Committed Feralist

(P.S. *specific* things... What appeals to me wrt inevitability in D/s is less "I can MAKE you submit whether you want to or not" and more "We both know you'll submit, because we both know that you *want* me to dominate you", which is not always the vibe in HDG. Sometimes it is, though! And that's why I'm still here! Also that little bit near the end of Grand Folia where Celosia says something along the lines of "Its not that I'm an Affini and you're a terran and I'm better and you're lesser. Its that I would ALWAYS find you - in any time, in any place, in any form - because you ARE mine" really REALLY fucking got me.)

(P.P.S. I may have written a few hundred words of a fic about an Affini playing a convoluted game of cat and mouse with a cute, awkward, evasive little terran who may or may not be a feralist spy. The Affini can't make up her mind, because every time she catches her at something suspicious, there's always a perfectly plausible explanation! Its gonna drive her absolutely NUTS.)

It sounds like you're more into dubcon than noncon. On one hand, this is the noncon intox kink petplay bdsm scifi setting, so a certain amount of noncon is pretty baked into the world at a systematic level that you're either okay with or you aren't.

But on the bright side, there ARE fluffier options that skew more in the direction of what I think you're looking for, because the setting ALSO heavily features things like hurt/comfort, recovering from trauma, learning how to love yourself, and accepting that you deserve to BE loved and cared for by others.

Abscission is a really good one for a protagonist that consistently and very insistently reaffirms their consent at all times. Autumn is very sure about what she wants and frankly spends a lot of time bullying Solanum about not being afraid to give it to her.

From what you're saying, I think you would really like a newer story that's only 3 chapters in called Good Sensory. The tl;dr is that there's an independent human who's too ace and autistic to feel comfortable around most Affini (who tend to be very flirty and touchy and she can't stand a lot of their textures), and an Affini who is ALSO really ace and autistic instantly wants to give her the world. The Affini is VERY sensitive, patient, and accommodating with her neurodivergence and goes out of her way to be very direct about her feelings and intentions.

Marsha (the affini) literally has this internal monologue about Sally (the human): "I admittedly could twist her mind and dull her dislike of certain sensations, but it would be far more satisfying to simply alter her life such that she never experienced them in the first place."

The story was written basically in honor of how much the author (a very autistic woman) loves her very autistic partners, and the joy of giving them experiences that are comfortable for them.

In particular, I think you will REALLY like their first date in chapter 2, which is one of the most gentle and accommodating scenes I have read for all of HDG so far. It's SO sweet.

Someone in the server actually just collected a list of recommended fics that skew much more on the consensual side. NOTE THAT I HAVE NOT READ MOST OF THESE AND CANNOT PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THEM.

Intake Interview Wild and Domestic Child of the Wilderness How To Tame A Polycule Fermata Art Exhibition Flotsam Heart Cross Pollination Surrogate Bloom Sycanthe Lantana Alone in the Dark, Together Germination Reading the Leaves Nurture and Acquisitions Perturbance A Normal Grocery Run During Which No Domestication Occurs No Gods No Masters (the primary storyline anyway) Hers to Have, Hers to Hold Petals and Vines Weeklong Stay at a J-Cafe (edited)

I AM currently about halfway through Petals and Vines and can absolutely confirm it's one of the cutest stories in the setting so far. I'm loving every minute of it. 500/10 adorable. Millie is everything, she is the light of my life and I would die for her. She's approaching DAWN levels of cute. DAWN LEVELS.

I would also add to this list:

Inosculate by SapphicSounds (the affini refuses to do ANYTHING with the protagonist until she explicitly asks for it)

Through The Looking Glass by PyxxieStyxx and TheMothCourt (the protagonist does get embarrassed/humiliated quite a bit, but she is VERY INTO IT and is given ample opportunity to back out or revoke her consent at any time, which she never does because she is having the time of her newly lesbian life right now)

I WOULD caution you against writing for the setting if you have mixed feelings about the worldbuilding, and especially if you haven't read some of the most foundational works of the setting like the original, Abscission, Divaricated, For A Better Universe, and a couple others. You should also familiarize yourself with the Rules and Axioms for the setting, as they're important for how the community functions as a creative space.

(The point is not taking things we like OUT of the sandbox to play with, it's bringing something of our own INTO the sandbox so we can play TOGETHER. But we play NICE in that sandbox, because we want the people who play in it after us to have that same joy we did. If your goal is to CHANGE something about the setting, then you're not playing the same game as everyone else in the sandbox.)

I'm pretty confident at this point that I have a good feel for the lore, vibe, and mechanics of the setting to comfortably start writing for it, but even I'm still holding off because there are some other Big Foundational Stories (Divaricated, Wellness Check, No Gods No Masters, probably Nurture and Acquisitions) that I want to experience and understand first, because when I'm ready to start contributing, I want to make sure I do it right.

Also, there actually IS a story literally CALLED Cat And Mouse, and it's one of the top 10 stories in the setting (sorted for Kudos on AO3). I cannot personally vouch for it because I haven't read it and don't know anything about it beyond that it's a Predator/Prey dynamic, but it has the same author as Good Sensory and her stories (though incredibly varied, tone wise) haven't let me down yet. Sheepwave is a very evocative writer and whatever kind of mood she's going for her in her stories, you're gonna REALLY feel that mood.

Sweet Poppy (one of her more famous stories) is a blood curdling psychological horror story. I am terrified of Poppy. She's easily the scariest Affini I've read yet. That's a HARD story to read if you can't stomach it, but it's very well done. It's the kind of story that you can't stop reading and ALSO it makes you sick to your stomach.

The only other story I've read from the setting so far that filled me with anywhere near that kind of nauseating dread was Independence Is Easy by SapphicSounds. If you're REALLY into doll kink, you might love it, but if you're not, it's absolutely a horror story. I don't regret reading it, but I was definitely way more into the first half than the second half. The protagonist DEFINITELY needed to be domesticated, but not by this specific Affini. I've seen lots of people be REALLY obsessed with it, but based on what I can gather from your tastes, I would NOT recommend this one to you.

In regards to the worldbuilding, the main thing to remember is that HDG is at its core a WILDLY SELF-INDULGENT kink setting where the most immutable aspect is that everyone deserves to be loved and cared for and given a better life. It was made by gay auDHD trans women FOR gay auDHD trans women, and the real fantasy is just that there will always be someone there who loves us unconditionally while accepting us for our truest selves and telling us that we deserve to not hurt anymore. All of the scifi worldbuilding exists to supplement that. The Affini are overpowered by design.

It's not intended to be realistic, it's intended to be wish fulfilment where inevitability is coming for you, and that inevitability is kind, and loving, and PROFOUNDLY horny.