#I'm not god's strongest IF writer-

[burning-academia-if]

You know, I don't think my inbox has been this busy ever before in my life-

[thelovers-2001]

Y'know what, I'm in a good mood today so I wanna say a few things!

Shout out to selfshippers of unpopular and/or niche media. Medias that aren't mainstream or popular. Medias fairly known due to videos and fan works on it floating around the Internet. Medias that were once popular until the hype died out.

Shout out to selfshippers of media with very few to no fan base. With F/Os with little fan work (art, fan fiction, etc.)

To artist/writer selfshippers who's F/O has no fan work and make it themselves : I am so, so proud of you. You are seriously the bravest and strongest soldiers god has ever sent.

You might've search throught the Internet for fan art, only to find a small handful and thought to yourself "Do I have to make art of my F/O myself?" Fuck yeah man, I HIGHLY recommend you do! Because you're making the art that you love. And maybe... someone out there would like it too ^^

Comshippers and proshippers DO NOT INTERACT

[toga-003]

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡: Somethings that always annoy me when reading smut/fics made by others is that they always miswrite the personality of some JJK men (choso, Toji, Gojo)

I'm someone who focus formidably on the character's personality, so it kinda ruins everything for me...

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡CHOSO

It always annoys me that: most writers write choso as submissive and whiny, no I mean very whiny and submissive.

I feel like choso is a softie man who isn't afraid to cry and struggles to express himself yet is kind and reasonable while inraged when close people to him are hurt, the most he's gonna be is timid.

He's a switch, he is not so damn submissive as much as people make him to be.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡TOJI

It always annoys me that: most writers write toji being so mean and degrading.

Do people not understand that toji is simply a quiet dark man who does NOT sweat small stuff, toji may seem a bit overly confident and ignorant but that's all he's ever going to be.

Am I watching another version of JJK? Because I do not remember toji being so god damn mean and degrading, it is only canon that toji is ruthless during his fights against sorcerers.

He just seems like people write him to be just because he HATES sorcerers and the jujutsu society in general and wants to sprite it, he's not so damn mean and degrading as people make him to be.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ GOJO

I have nothing to complain about him: people write his playful yet cocky personality so we'll....But

I do not like that most writers forget that gojo is extremely intelligent despite his playful attitude, he's not dense.

He's just so confident that he's the strongest and can not be harmed so much that he may seem reckless, but he's not as playful and dumb as people make him to be.

Share your thoughts?

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡.⁠｡⁠*

[ambrosialdesire]

bloodsports

[ PART ONE ] [ PART TWO ]

18+ DARK CONTENT BELOW, MINORS AND BLANK BLOGS DNI

pairing: modern au!reiner x fem!reader word count: 13.6k warnings + tags: general yandere and obsessive themes, explicit sexual content, unhealthy relationships, misogyny, public humiliation mentions, sorta an unbalanced power dynamic, a/b/o dynamics and themes, modern & college/university au, alpha & hockey player jock reiner (will be sorta ooc but ig you can count it as his s1-3 soldier persona), omega reader, enemies to sorta friends to enemies again to lovers (but both reiner and reader are stubborn dumdums and it's sorta one-sided), bertolt x reader implications, heavy jealousy/possessive themes, heavy self-sabotage, alcohol consumption, violence & blood warning, "fated" mates, usage of suppressants, unwarranted scenting, kinda scenting kink?, pheromone-bombing, size difference, size kink, noncon kissing, all characters are 18+ synopsis: trying to get through uni should've been easy, but presenting as an omega made you become a seemingly easy target for the many disgusting alphas that roamed the campus. no matter how much suppressants you took, you unfortunately just had to grab the attention of the most notorious one out there. the university's famed center in ice hockey, reiner braun. to you, he was nothing but a godforsaken, meatheaded annoyance. a/n: i am not one of god's strongest when comes to a/b/o or the omegaverse LMFAOO LIKE I CAN'T DENY IT, SUMN ABOUT IT MAKES ME GO ABSOLUTELY FERAL AND IDC WHAT OTHERS THINK 👺👺 anywaysss, yea it's another hatefuck reiner fic that i decided recently to make a two parter LOL i made reiner a hockey player because i kinda like hockey more (i watched one game irl with my sibling and it was hella cool even tho the team we were cheering for lost 💀 the state pride was crazy, i had no idea how irritating it was hearing the other team fans cheer 😭) but i'm really really new to the sport so forgive me if i make some mistakes about it lol (i did modify it a little so it can be more dramatic and violent lol) happy valentine's day (ik this late AFFFFF LMFAO) and hope you guys enjoy this! the second part will hopefully come not too far behind, maybe in december once i'm freed from school haha note: please keep in mind of the tags above and do not proceed if triggering or uncomfortable, especially if you are a minor!! do not read my or any other writers' dark content if you are underaged. this is a fictional work and does not reflect irl morals, do not believe this is how a real romance works or functions.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.───

"You're coming to my game, right?"

The sudden weight on the table of someone leaning upon it on the other side caused it to creak, but you didn't have to look up to know who it was. The wafting smell of warm, spiced vanilla with vague, yet noticeable earthy tones wrapped around you like a familiar heated blanket. No matter how nice it smelled, it only bubbled irritation within you. You continued writing your notes, ignoring the looming presence.

"Omega, answer and look at me." A chill ran down your spine and your head felt heavy once he spoke, the demand stern and clear. You didn't want to answer him, but your secondary gender was scratching at your brain like a persistent fly. Answer him, answer your alpha.

You stubbornly pinched your leg once to get yourself out of it before finally looking up at the man himself, narrowing your eyes at him.

"Can't. Have finals tomorrow. Also, don't ever do that shit to me or call me that."

He scoffed and rolled his eyes, already knowing he wasn't going to take that as an answer. "You weren't answering me and c'mon, it's only for a few hours babe. Who wouldn't come to their alpha's big game today?"

"Me because you're not my alpha and I'm not your babe. Go find some other omega that drools over you because this one isn't going." You grumbled as you stood up, beginning to collect your stuff to get back to your dorm. He grabbed your wrist before you got your notebook, pulling you towards him, eyes were gleaming with determination.

"Come to my game and I won't bother you anymore. I promise."

You pulled your arm out of his grasp with a frown, quickly debating in your mind. Could you trust him?

On one hand, it would be nice to not get disturbed by him anymore. But on the other, that means you have to be packed in a stadium with sweaty alphas and a handful of excitable betas and omegas for an hour or two. The smell would be awful and overwhelming, false ruts and heats would get triggered easily from the adrenaline. You didn't even like ice hockey or any sport in general, too many alphas dominated the industry.

You bit back a heavy sigh, finally deciding on your answer.

"Ugh. I'm holding you to that promise then Reiner. No randomly showing up at my dorm, no waiting for me at the end of my classes, don't have your friends try and check up on me for your behalf either. Got it?" His hazel eyes lit up immediately and he nodded, his smile wide.

"You got it babe, I'll pick you up at 6."

You were about to tell him off about the pet name but he ran off, whooping in the quiet library while slamming the doors open. A few of the students' and staffs' glares went over to you, causing you to grimace before finally picking up your notebook. What the fuck have you gotten yourself into?

Life wasn't like this before. For a year and half, you've had an alpha cling onto your every move as if you've claimed one another. It may seem like that to him but you definitely didn't want anything to do with him. All Reiner did was bring a mix of trouble to you, a burden that you never wanted. Your secondary gender was supposed to be a hidden secret for only yourself to know — the prescribed supplements made sure of that — and you were supposed to present as a beta in order to live a peaceful university life. How painfully frustrating it was to be found out from a simple error in your day-to-day routine.

You were in a rush, you're human after all, and forgot to take them before you left your dorm. It wasn't until you entered your class when a brick of strong smells bitterly hit your nose, something that never happened before. One day and that's all it took for everyone's eyes to latch onto your frame, the horrifying hunger glimmering in the darks of their pupils.

You froze, unable to move from the doorway. The vileness of their stench rang alarms in your head, they were all sour and distasteful with every short whiff you took. It was overwhelming, heavy, and nauseating. You knew what they were all thinking, internally debating whether you should run back to your dorm or transfer.

A large arm had made its way around your shoulders, pulling you closer to their body. You panicked at first until a whiff of something sweet in the air stopped you. A spiced vanilla enveloped your senses with every breath you took and like a switch, your body immediately calmed down, unintentionally leaning closer to them to continue feeling this sweet relief.

"Hey." You tilted your head up at the person who was currently holding you by the neck and felt dread quickly fill up your stomach once more.

Reiner Braun, one of the most notorious womanizers on campus and the university's proclaimed players in ice hockey.

Reiner Braun, smelling like a freshly baked pastry, slinging his arm around you while unintentionally managing to bring you back to your senses.

Reiner Braun, whose face is suddenly way too close and you could just barely feel the brush of his lips against yours.

Your face burned up at the realization and you shoved him off you, eyes wide and mouth parted open in shock as you watched him stumble back to reality. What the fuck just happened and why the fuck did he smell so good out of everyone here? He looked like he was appalled by what he did as well but recovered faster than you did, a sly smirk growing on his face.

"Hey omega, just a head's up. The next time you come to class, don't smell like a sweet treat for us alphas alright?"

You thought you couldn't burn up even more than before, your body beginning to tremble in complete rage and mortification as the students began to howl in amusement. All of your emotions were pumping through your system all at once way too quickly and you finally ran out of the class, tears brimming on the edges of your eyes. There was no way you could handle being in there for another second. The boisterous laughter faded away in your eardrums and once you got far enough from prying eyes and ears, you collapsed to the ground and nearly sobbed your heart out.

You knew attending this university would be difficult but never in your life did you think you'd be humiliated in this way, just for one stupid little mistake. To alphas, any mistake that wasn't from their pretentious clique meant your life, your downfall, everything. It becomes a weakness to exploit and use, like a deer with a broken leg completely surrounded by a pack of starving wolves.

All you could think about over and over as you finally made it to your dorm was:

Fuck Reiner Braun.

‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’

After that day, you made sure to take your supplements on time with an alarm. Regardless of that, you still felt skittish once you stepped foot in that damn class again. Not because of the possibility that the knowing glances of your classmates would come your way, but the fact that Reiner would not leave you alone ever since he embarrassed you.

When you finally went back to that class in the next lecture, you placed yourself all the way in the back corner than your usual spot, trying to hide yourself away until everyone forgot about the incident. It seemed that your humiliating moment had faded away quickly like a passing breeze since no one looked your way as the seats began to fill up one by one. It was not until you heard the familiar laugh of him, only then you started getting nervous.

You stared down in your notebook, trying to look as busy as possible but the shuffle of a heavy bag and a body sitting down next to you in the loudest way possible confirmed your worst suspicions.

"Good thing you saved a seat for me, that’s so nice of you omega." Reiner congratulated you in a false manner and you grimaced, turning your head towards him. He wasn't looking at you but he was smiling as he looked to the front of the room. You had to force yourself not to stare at his body, which was a mental battle in itself when his pheromones were as strong as ever.

He most likely exercised before coming here, a faint sweat stain on the chest of his white cut-off tank top confirming your thoughts. The tank top was hiding little to the imagination, loose enough to where you can see his sculpted muscles from the side but tight enough to where it accentuated his chest. He was manspreading — a common occurrence in those who were considered to be extremely prideful alphas — and wearing dark gray sweatpants.

You didn't mean to but your gaze slightly wandered a little more down, heart nearly stopped in your chest when you just barely spotted the faint outline of his half-hard cock against the fabric. He was... big and if that was him barely aroused, wow. You'd pray for those that let this son-of-a-bitch hit another time.

The usually dormant annoyance in your brain wanted to get down on her knees and suck him off till he got hard in her mouth, but you had to viciously fight her back into the deep crevices of your mind. You don't know why the urge was so strong, the meds you took usually gave you no sexual desires towards anyone. Maybe you need to up the dosage? You'd have to make a doctor's appointment soon because you don't know if you could stand this new disgusting pervert inside you.

It would be the coldest day in Hell if you ever let Reiner fuck you.

"I have a name, use it or fuck off." You turned back to your notebook and he chuckled in amusement.

"You got a bite now omega? Where was she the last time we spoke?"

"Maybe she would've been there if she wasn't on the verge of a breakdown. Fucking asshole." You muttered the last bit, starting to ignore him once the professor finally entered the class. Cracking your knuckles and opening your laptop to the latest powerpoint, you began writing down the important points of what was in the week's module. It took you nearly half of the three hour long lecture to notice that he didn't make any sound, no writing or keyboard clacking or any tapping from his phone. Your peripherals just barely caught the sight of him and your skin ran cold.

Reiner wasn't paying attention to the lecture. You started to practically feel the absolute intensity of his stare, burning two deep holes into the side of your face. The chair lightly squeaked as he suddenly moved closer to you, the audible sound of him sniffing at you came after.

What the fuck was his problem? You quickly inched yourself away from him, backing into the wall but he followed suit almost immediately. His large frame nearly engulfed yours, the sheer heat of his body radiating off as he neared you.

He sniffed once above your head, then again and again as if he was searching for something. Thank God you decided to shower this morning. The tense atmosphere between the two of you grew thicker with each passing second until his hazel eyes narrowed, the corner of his mouth twitched in faint irritation.

"...You don't smell like anything." Reiner sourly muttered before pulling away, giving back the needed space.

"Uh... yeah? I got back on track with my meds." What was up with him? Reiner had never once spoken to you before the incident, in the class and out of it. In this class in particular, you've usually seen him on his phone, napping, or quietly chatting with the nearest poor soul.

He's known to not fool around with your kind, back when you were still portraying yourself as a beta. Why would he? To them, betas were boring and basic. They weren't alpha enough to be considered to be one of them and not omega enough to fuck. His preferences were pretty out there in whispers and giggles too, so it's not like he would need a reason to talk to you unless it was to get his dick wet for the night. That seemed to be the plan in mind since he was continuously interacting with you.

"Why would you?" Reiner nonchalantly questioned, as if he wasn't the one of the reasons why you take such heavy supplements. Your eye twitched, your fingers tightening around your pen.

"Are you seriously asking me that?" You scowled, watching him shrug and lean back onto the chair.

"Yeah, why not? You're the first omega I've met with a scent that's not doused in cheaply made perfume, it's..." He stopped, thinking of the right words before finally settling on one. "Original."

You scrunched your nose, conflicted with what he just described. He is the talk of the campus, most if not all omegas would've loved to be marked by him; no wonder they try to court him with different concoctions. Then again, he could just be saying that to get into your pants. Original, ha! If he liked this so-called originality, he should find it in someone else.

"I'm not interested y'know, not after what you did last time."

After you said that, all the words seemed to die in his mouth. He became quiet for the rest of the lecture and you didn't have the courage to look back up to see his expression. The silence was a simmering awkwardness, and you could only try and listen to the professor as much as you could. His smell was now twisted with a dullness to it, almost bland and distasteful like the rest of the room. When the lesson finally ended, you started to zip your bag close and pull it through your arms, until his hand grabbed the strap and lifted it up onto his own shoulder.

"What do you think you're doing?" Panic bubbled in your chest as you tried to grab it back but he kept maneuvering out of your reach, a playful smile growing on his lips.

"Think of this as an apology to you omega. I'll walk you to your next class." Your heart dropped to your stomach, the last thing you needed was even more people staring at you, especially with the campus fuckboy in tow.

"You really don't have to and don't call me that." Reiner snorted as he walked down the stairs, you having no choice but to follow him.

"What else can I call you if you haven't told me your name yet?" He held the door open for you, readjusting the bags he was holding. You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms.

"Why offer to walk me to my next class when I don't even know your name?" It was a lie, of course everyone knew him just by the simple utter of his name, but he laughed at your simple comeback, genuinely laughed. It didn't sound like it did when he poked fun of you that one day, your face starting to lightly flush warm.

"Fair enough. Name's Reiner, Reiner Braun. One of the University of Marley Warriors centers." You slightly cringed at the title, he just had to add that fact in. Oh well, might as well play along just a little.

"Y/N L/N, one of the many second year students in the University of Marley."

He laughed once more and nudged you on the back with his elbow, letting you take the lead.

"You're a funny girl Y/N."

You had to ignore the way your stomach fluttered from the way he said it, picking up your pace. Remember, you had to remember that he caused you a turmoil of anguish for a near week. All you were going to give him was this moment and that's it.

"Thanks."

Now that you think back on it, how silly it was for you to think that this was the last time he was ever going to talk to you.

‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’

There wasn't a minute in your day where Reiner wasn't in your presence.

Nearly every day for roughly five or six months since you've started talking to one another, he'd manage to find you and socialize. He'd give you a small snack or drink too, ruffling your hair once you took it from his hand and sitting down in the seat next to you. Every day was a different topic that he asked, ranging from simple questions to a little more personal ones. You knew he was trying to pry whenever you didn’t say much about yourself so you've revealed only a few tidbits, nothing big. Sometimes he needed studying help and you didn't mind tutoring him about the subjects you were sorta knowledgeable in. He always seemed so interested and focused in whatever you say, so hey, at least he was a decent listener.

He started rejecting hang-outs with his friends and teammates, all to simply talk to you. It's crazy how often he did it, a few times occurring in front of you through phone calls. He'd only mentioned his teammates when he tried to invite you to numerous practices, implying that he wanted them to meet you. You turned him down about it for the first few times, creating excuses to not go, until you got tired of him asking and finally begrudgingly agreed.

Watching him practice made you realize one thing about him: Reiner loved to play dirty.

Of course since you were merely a new bystander of the sport, it might've been one of the core strategies of how to win in hockey. Yet the more you observed, the more you noticed how he treated everyone on the ice, friend or foe. He told you before that centers did a lot for their team and were known to be more on the offense, even when defending. You thought the role was perfect for him, considering how he started this whole "friendship" thing with you. However, the way he treated you was nothing compared to how he treated the sport.

It was like watching an illegal cage fight from the way he quickly sped towards the puck, viciously slamming into others to make way. A frightening sight indeed, maybe even more for the ones on the ice as they were the ones he barreled his shoulders into their chests and sides. You can't remember how many times you flinched watching an unfortunate player get rammed into the plastic barrier by Reiner, the heavy sound echoing throughout the stadium. Everyone on the opposing team was merely his punching bag and though they can get a few hits in, you could tell that they couldn't handle the constant confrontations. He didn't care that they were still his teammates and that this was merely a practice game. To lose is to lose and for an alpha, that could never be an option.

You never told him this, but you never liked the look in his eyes that he gets whenever he played, the darks of his pupils blowing out the once-warm hazel color with a carnal and exhilarated intensity within them.

Regardless of his violent attitude, Reiner genuinely worked well with his team, whomever was on his side at least. He especially got along with whoever jersey number 60 is — the only hint being that his last name is Hoover — and who was noticeably taller than anyone else on the team. The two were extremely compatible, making the smoothest passes that whenever you blinked, it would seem that the other had the puck in the first place.

The strangest part of it all was that he'd make you wear his jersey afterwards, that's also somewhat the reason why you stopped coming over to his practices besides the extreme harshness of the sport. It was way too intimate for him to be sharing a highly scented object to a friend but you've tried refusing, saying that you hated the stink and it was still wet with sweat. Reiner never really cared about what you said about it and pulled it over your head, the fabric hanging loosely mid-thigh. You hated how calm it made you feel and how every time he asked for it back, you'd hesitate.

Even if he did like you, you don't know why he was being overly friendly. Was it because you were an omega that he had to be nice to you? You tried not to think about it like that since you were slowly getting used to his presence, as if he became a part of your routine.

He never pushed anything sexual onto you either like you originally thought he was going to. Sure, he'd make a weird comment or joke here or there but it never really made you uncomfortable or escalated into something else. Your feelings towards him simmered down to a level of neutrality, not quite at peace from what he did but not as angry as before. Did he feel bad for his actions? He never really said an actual apology to you, but is that really why you still find him aggravating to be around with?

"You're such a study bug, don't you know how to have a little fun?" Reiner skimmed his fingers against the already-read pages, your bodies squished side-by-side, one of his arms wrapped loosely around your waist as the two of you read your textbook together. You don't know why or when but you started to not mind the physical contact with him anymore; you chalked it up to it being the winter months and you were cold as hell, he was basically the closest thing to a portable heater. Your physician upped the dosage of your meds as well and there was a noticeable difference, but it didn't seem to deter the thoughts you were having about Reiner. They probably would’ve faded away if not for his constant presence.

"I don't have time for fun, unlike you with your full-ride and sports." You muttered as you flipped the page, eyes skimming over the new paragraphs. He groaned and rested his head on top of yours, taking in a deep breath. You’ve noticed that he was more touchier with you compared to his other friends that you once watched from afar before, but you’ve gotten used to it for the past few months.

He was silent for a few pages until you could feel his fingers trail up against your scent gland, your body immediately freezing up. He shouldn’t be touching you there, a shiver going up your spine as you felt his fingertips rub light circles around it. You couldn’t stop him, not when your brain was currently being scrambled with the feeling.

"Your smell is still not there." He off-handily murmured, finally removing his hand from your neck and letting you collect your thoughts again.

You swallowed thickly, trying to clear your throat. "I think you forget that I take heavy suppressants."

"Why do you? Do you really not want to fuck anyone any time soon?" You cringed at his wording, meeting his eyes.

"Well yeah, pretty much. I want to focus on school, not constantly wonder if I'm going to suddenly go into heat around an alpha. And it's a guaranteed protection, I don't want to get accidentally marked this early in my life." You could feel his hand squeeze and knead at the meat of your hip, knowing that he was in thought.

"I don't know if our class remembers what sub-gender I am but you certainly do, you were literally in trance when you met me," You pointed out, feeling your skin prickle warm as you thought back on the memory. "And it was my mistake, I didn't mean to get off of them and do that to you. I'm pretty much protecting myself and others from doing something... irrational."

What he didn't know is that having no heat at all for months at a time had made you indescribably horny, but you've been managing it so well that you really didn't need any outside assistance at all. Him being the only alpha that hangs around you on a day-to-day basis and consistently touching you has not made the thoughts any better than they were before, but you forced those damn heinous ideas in the back of your mind every time. Bothersome they were and you tried to not let it get to you as much as possible.

Reiner nodded slowly, closing his eyes. "Well if you do get into a heat, I'm available for use."

You gasped, quickly jabbing your elbow into his side, causing him to flinch from the feeling and laugh almost aloud in the quiet library. "God, don't say that here!"

"It's true! There's a line-up of omegas that need help through their heats, I'm not the only one that's getting something out of it. They need a knot and I give it to them." You don't know why but hearing him admit that made you almost freeze and feel your stomach drop. Every time you're reminded of his reputation, something in you twists in an unpleasant way. It's strange. You have no reason to feel this way when you don't even like him in any romantic sense.

"I'd rather not hear about your many conquests, thank you very much." His eyes connected to yours and you tried not to pull away, trying not to feign anything that would give you up.

"Don't tell me... You're jealous, aren't you?" He teased as his grin grew wider and you scoffed, closing the textbook almost a little too hard.

"Please, as if! I'm not the one here insinuating into starting something." You huffed and tried to disconnect your body from his to put the book away but he didn't let you, his arm holding you around the crook of your back firmly.

"I never mark them, if that makes you feel better. No matter how much they beg me to, I don't. I'm pretty good at controlling myself."

You paused, the heavy stone in your stomach still dragging you down. He sounded honest about it and any omega that he marked would've bragged about it for years to come. Hell, you wouldn't even be as close as you were with him right now if that was the case. Yet, the admission didn't make you feel any better and you'd rather not praise him for something so bare minimum.

"...I really, really don't care Reiner. You can fuck anyone you want silly and it's none of my business. I'm not your mate and you're not mine." His eyes softened, looking at you so fondly that you almost wanted to take back every word you had just said.

"We could be."

Time stopped. The way he said it so nonchalantly made you feel absolutely breathless, like you were punched so deeply in the gut. You so desperately wanted to kiss him in that moment — say fuck it, why not be his mate for the rest of your lives — but that was nothing but the godforsaken omega in you talking. This wasn't some cheesy romcom movie, this was real life. Why in the world would he think there was a possibility that he’d be your mate? The two of you barely knew each other besides the light-hearted chats you’ve had together, he only liked your presence because like every other omega, you were easy.

No matter how long you stayed up at night thinking about him or how much you desired pressing your body against his at all times, you would not sacrifice your future for him. You were trying to be more than just your sub-gender and more than solely becoming an alpha’s eventual trophy wife. Being with him would only complicate things. There was nothing he could do or say would change your perspective.

As you stood up with your stuff, you told him as firmly as you were able to make it without your voice wavering.

"No, we couldn't."

It felt like it was you trying to convince yourself otherwise.

You’d do anything to not be the one watching his heart break right in front of your eyes, his mood changing almost immediately. He tried to look away from you but you saw the deep disappointment reflecting in his irises. The softness they once held hardened up once he realized what he was feeling, trying hard to swallow back the pain. The change of his smell washed over you in waves, a cold melancholy hitting the back of your throat while a burning anger bit at the pit of your stomach at the same time. It wasn't like him to be so distraught with a simple rejection, maybe you were the first one that didn't immediately fall for his charms.

Maybe, just maybe... it should've been you that had gotten rejected instead. Perhaps it would've made you feel less awful about it.

"Yeah, sorry. I… I don’t even know why I said that. Why would I even choose yo— No. Wait. Fuck, I—" Reiner cleared his throat quickly and stood up himself, ready to get out of the situation he put himself in. He was backpedaling, you knew he was, but it didn’t make you or him feel any better about the situation. He really was not used to rejection, huh?

"Let's... let's forget all that. There’s a party going on in Delta Kappa Theta tonight. If you want to come, come. I don’t want you to keep preventing yourself from having fun." The way he still cared about you first made you feel like you were the complete piece of shit here. No matter what though, you didn’t owe him a relationship or situationship or whatever you two have.

You partially nodded anyways, a squeak of an ‘okay’ barely escaping you as you watched him walk away. Every step that he took made you feel even less sure about what you just did, but it was for the best… right?

‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’

It was the first frat party you’ve ever been to and as you approached the house, you knew that it was going to be way out of your comfort zone. You wanted to go back to your safe and warm dorm, make up an excuse to go to bed early, but Reiner was right, you shouldn't be cooping yourself up for so long without any other interaction besides him. You slowly took in a deep breath, tugging at the seams of your jacket before entering the house, music blaring in your ears and bright lights hitting your eyes as soon as you opened the door.

Find Reiner, find him. Your omega begged you as you shuffled through drunk and dancing bodies, but you ignored it. Would he even want to see you after you rejected him?

Someone tapped you on the shoulder and you turned towards the person, eyes wide with shock.

"Sorry! Didn't mean to scare you," Another alpha, his clean rain-like scent faint from the amount of alcohol in the air. He was extremely tall but folded his body within himself while holding a red solo cup, and his black hair was in desperate need of a new haircut, nearly covering the tops of his eyes. The man didn't seem to present himself like an alpha, his demeanor certainly different to the ones you've met and seen before. "You smelled like my friend and the lights are way too bright so I thought you were him, so sorry again."

He looked vaguely familiar but it seemed that he recognized you first, his mouth suddenly agape. "Wait. Aren't you the girl that Reiner keeps talking about? Uh... sorry. What was your name again?"

"Y/N, nice to meet you. Reiner... mentioned me?"

He kindly smiled and nodded, holding out his hand for you to shake. "Bertolt and you have no idea. You're basically all he wants to talk about recently."

It felt like your heart skipped a beat, butterflies fluttering around in your stomach. You really had that much of an effect on him? You felt partially proud that you, a complete nobody, managed to get him head over heels for you. The other part felt horrible, you didn't mean to lead him on like that to the point where he started bringing you up to his friends. It seemed that Bertolt realized what he said was causing you to get upset, pulling you towards the kitchen.

He quickly scooped up some liquid from a punchbowl and poured it into a new cup, handing it over to you. "Here. A drink might make you feel better."

You weren't new to drinking, only having it a few times casually here and there so you took a quick sip, a smooth burn going down your throat. You coughed lightly and shook your head, hearing him chuckle. He leaned against the countertop beside you, swirling around the cup in his hand.

"Bertolt?" You hated how small you sounded, trailing your fingertips against the ridges of the plastic cup.

"Hm?" He started to take another sip out of his drink, raising it up above his head.

"I don't know if he told you this already but I rejected him this afternoon." The sound of him choking and hacking followed suit immediately after you confessed, a spew of apologies running out of your mouth as you patted his back to get it all out. He definitely didn't tell him yet.

Once he managed to finally stop clearing his throat, he wiped his mouth and turned towards you, eyes wide. "Why did you?"

You bit the inside of your cheek and took another quick sip. "I told him that I wasn't looking for a romantic relationship or sex, all I want to do is focus on is passing my classes and graduating. That's the complete and honest truth."

His friend stayed quiet for a bit until he nodded once, as if he understood your reasoning.

"That's fair, you should be able to pursue what you want to do for your life instead of tending to his needs. It's hard out there for omegas and it's great that you're doing more for yourself. I know Reiner really does actually like you, but you don't have to pursue anything with him if you don't want to. You control what you get to do."

You felt flushed from both the alcohol and his words, you've never met an alpha that shared such a considerably controversial opinion before. You quietly thanked him, watching him tilt his head up towards the ceiling, sighing softly.

"Reiner... I've known Reiner since middle school and fuck, he has his moments where he tends to be a shitty guy, even long before he presented as an alpha. He's stubborn as hell and rarely listens to us and he's occasionally a great guy to be teamed up with, but inside, I know he's just trying to figure himself out."

"What do you mean?" He flinched, beginning to sweat bullets as he nervously fidgeted next to you.

"A-ah, sorry. I don't know if I should be telling you this since you're also his friend but," His pale eyes darted side-to-side, as if he was making sure that no one was listening. "Every omega he's been with, he calls all of them 'practice' for his fated mate. Everyone knows that having a fated mate is super, super rare but since he met you, well..."

He nervously tugged at the hem of his shirt but you immediately knew what he was saying.

"No." You awkwardly started laughing, shaking your head quickly. The house immediately felt even more stuffy and overbearing, a nauseating feeling overcoming you all of a sudden. Omegas being used as practice? Were you just another practice target if the relationship didn't work out?

"N-no, he doesn't seriously think that I'm his fated mate?"

Bertolt sharply inhaled through his teeth, eyes locked to the ground. "Reiner was always hopeful he'd find his second half and you've been the only omega he speaks so positively and constantly about. He mentioned the day you guys met, how your pheromones enticed him so much that he nearly kissed you and he wanted nothing more but to have you as his mate after that. Ugh, sorry. Even saying it out loud makes me feel gross."

You felt sick, numb. Were you even friends from the start or was all of his actions just some kind of courting method? You could barely hear yourself tell Bertolt that you had to go, fumbling a goodbye and an apology to him before pushing yourself into the crowd. The sea of people felt like it was getting more impossible to navigate the more you moved in it, a tight feeling building in your chest from being overwhelmed by every little smell and sound all around you.

Get out.

Get out.

GET OUT.

When you finally managed to push through and find the front door, your blood ran cold immediately. Like a deer frozen in front of oncoming headlights, you couldn't believe what you were staring at. Every part of your body screamed in complete anguish and devastation but you couldn't move. You had no right to, but you couldn't stop your tears from rapidly falling down your cheeks.

Reiner Braun, sitting down on the couch with some stranger on his lap, tracing his hands down their back, and pulling them closer to his body.

Reiner Braun, kissing down their neck, the peaks of his canines just barely scraping against their scent gland.

Reiner Braun, basically publicly grinding himself against this willing participant of his.

His eyes opened half-lidded and in some cruel form of fate, locked onto yours. Out of everyone in the room, he managed to find yours. He pulled away from the omega, a strand of drool still connecting between them. His hand still rested comfortably on the curve of their back, his mouth uttering only one name with wide eyes.

"Y/N...?"

All you could think as you finally snapped out of it — running out of the fraternity until your lungs felt like they were being ripped to shreds — was how bad you felt for that omega. How they were only going to be reduced into something so demeaning, a dummy-run to find his perfect mate. They didn't deserve that, being wide-eyed and hopeful that because he decided to choose them for his lustful pursuits, they're finally worthy of being a candidate of his.

You sobbed aloud as you washed and scrubbed your body red once you reached your dorm, trying to erase every scent and touch he made for the past couple of months. He was nothing more but absolute filth and you fell for it like a fool, a stupid brainless omega. You thought you were better than that but no, you were just like the rest of them. Even if you were his so-called fated mate, why did he continue to seek out others? Wouldn't he have tried to abstain? Sure, you shouldn't have expected that much out of him considering that you didn't even accept his confession but for some reason, it still hurt.

Fuck Reiner Braun. You should've never forgotten that in the first place.

‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’

Now you were here, leaving the messy history of the second year behind and now moving onto your third. Always look to the future, as they say. You took a lot of preventatives in avoiding seeing Reiner, the plan nearly as extensive as your studying.

You blocked his number once he started to keep calling over and over again ever since the party, blocking the new ones that came every so often and changing your number once you couldn't take it anymore. There was no reason for you to hear his explanation, it's his business on who he decides to fuck and you shouldn't be mad about it anymore. Part of you was afraid that if you hear him explain himself, you'd run right back to him just like every other omega he had a finger wrapped around.

You stopped frequenting areas you used to hang around in, which was unfortunate since some of those places were your favorites. You moved dorms, avoided places he frequented, and made sure he wasn't in any of your classes. Your majors were luckily too different to be in the same buildings or rooms, and with the help of Bertolt, you were always one step ahead of him.

He was the one that approached you first in one of your classes together at the start of the new semester and taught you the ways in how to avoid meeting up with him. You didn't know why his best friend wanted to help you and once asked him, getting the answer that Reiner hasn't been himself recently and he was afraid that he might do something rash if he managed to find you.

"You have so much ahead of you, I’d hate to see Reiner make you throw it away."

Bertolt made sure that he wasn't seen with you whenever the two of you hung out, and when he was with him, he made sure to steer clear of your direction with a simple text. He had to bathe immediately after just in case your scent got on him, which should be nonexistent but he was afraid that if there was just the vaguest trace on him, Reiner would hound him about it. He basically became your bodyguard whenever it was possible for him to do so, and you didn't even ask. You've never felt so grateful meeting someone like him before.

He also brought up that Reiner's been playing more rougher than usual, and snapping at others even when they're on his side of the team exercises. Even the coach was too afraid to say anything about his behavior, relying on him and a few others that were friends with him to talk to him about it.

"It sounds like he's in a pre-rut." You mentioned, handing over the pickles from your sandwich over to him. He took them with an open palm and threw them into his mouth like chips.

"I hope not, his scent smells the same so far but he rarely gets into ruts for me to really know what he smells like. Plus, he never knows how to handle them well."

"Reiner doesn't choose any of the omegas he messes around with for his ruts?" Bertolt shook his head, swallowing.

"Not at all. It's weird, he may mess around with them during their heats but he never, ever lets them in when he's going through a rut. Think it has something to do with the fated mate mentality he has, but sometimes we don't even know he was ever in one until they're over, he basically disappears for a week or so."

It’s funny in a weird way. The two of you were hiding each other from behind Reiner’s back as if the two of you were dating. Even though the two of you became close, your relationship with him was nothing romantic. Some kind of bro-code would've been broken between Reiner and Bertolt if you started dating him, and you'd be eating your own words from what you've said to Reiner. Then again, you never wanted to date him and tolerated his looming, clingy presence on most days.

Bertolt told you that he liked someone but was too afraid to make any move. She was another alpha and one of his friends, so the pairing itself had its controversies. He kept saying that his confession might ruin what they had for years and he was satisfied being in her shadow. It was sad to hear him put himself in second place for her happiness. So you tried doing a little nudge for him to go for it — 'the worst she can say is no' kind of talk — because it was better for him to say something than nothing at all and still quietly pine for her. Bertolt got too excited and rushed in with the confession after one of his practices without your knowledge, a messy bouquet of roses tightly gripped in his hand.

There was a few word texts that he sent to you after the whole ordeal:

Didn't get accepted.

Heartbroken.

Bar.

You found him standing in front of your dormitory building waiting for you, awkward looks of both omegas and betas glancing at him. As you approached him, he took a few steps towards you and almost collapsed in your arms as you held them outstretched. His tears and snot quickly dampened your jacket, his body wracking out heaves of anguish. There wasn't an alpha in the world that you've seen so vulnerable before, his fists gripping your clothes tightly as he shook in sadness.

He started telling you what had happened once he somewhat composed himself, his voice weak and crackly as the two of you walked to his chosen bar. Unfortunately, she turned him down and told him that she was actually interested in some beta from Paradis Tech named Armin. You could only imagine the bouquet dropping to the floor in dramatic fashion, tears welling up in poor Bertolt's eyes. She apologized and somewhat comforted him by saying that his confession won't change anything between their friendship. That was good, at least on her side.

You started consoling him, rubbing his back in circles as he drunkenly wept on the polished wood after downing one too many tequila shots. The speed in which he drank each one was shocking to say the least, you don't think his glass touched the table since he picked it up.

"We've known each 'ther shince we were kitss." He hiccupped, head resting in-between his arms as he tearfully stared in the distance and dangled the shot cup in his fingers.

"If I shaid sumnthin 'ears ago, would she hab 'ccepted me — or or or — shill reject me because of awer shub-genda?" You pitifully stared at his crumpled form, not knowing what to really say to make him feel better about the situation. The bartender then took his glass from Bertolt and told you to take the poor guy home, shaking his head slowly as he quietly whined about getting cut off.

"C'mon big guy, let's get you back."

The walk was quiet besides the occasional sniffle and you could tell he was trying not to fall on top of you, his feet slowly dragging on the concrete. As the designated sober friend, you were carefully observing him, a hand firmly holding the sleeve of his sweatshirt. He stopped suddenly, the sounds of his sneakers squeaking.

"Y/N."

"Hm?"

You turned your attention towards him, tilting your head to the side.

"If I wazzn'tin love wif Annie, I'd be sooooo in love 'ith—"

Bertolt then jolted to the side of an alleyway before he could finish what he was saying and started throwing up. It prompted you to quickly go by his side and hold him up, patting hard on his back to get it all out. You knew what he was going to say and you hated it. He's drunk and sad, nothing that came out of him was going to be honest.

"Don't say that Bertolt." You mumbled, lifting him back up once he finished and slinging his arm over your shoulders.

"I'm not going to be a replacement for you."

He reached over with his other hand, skin cold around the nape of your neck as he pulled your face towards his. You could smell the alcohol lingering in his breath, face cringing when you saw a bit of spittle still hanging off of his lips. He started saying something even more incoherent, his eyes beginning to close in hints of slumber.

"No, no, no. I... I swer'lve ewtoo."

You laughed softly as you shook your head in amusement, pulling him forwards. He really won't remember this at all. Bertolt finally fell silent, the occasional drunken groans slipping through if you tugged him too roughly.

Maybe in another world, if you had met Bertolt before Reiner...

You made the decision to take him to your dorm. The dormitory building was way closer than the frat house he lived in, and you'd rather not lug around his heavy body another ten blocks to get there. Never in your life you had thought you'd be sneaking in a giant of an alpha into the shared beta-omega dorms, but you wouldn't be the first to do so. It's a good thing his scent was currently dulled with alcohol or you'd be in more trouble trying to hide him. Quickly unlocking your door and taking him over to your loveseat, you watched as his body slowly relaxed into the cushions.

He was simply way too tall for the seating, his legs dangled off of the side of the couch as you adjusted him to a positioning that would prevent any risk of asphyxiation if he started throwing up again. You highly doubted that he had anything left in him, but it was good to be on the safe side. You lightly pinched his cheek, getting a change of clothes and headed towards the bathroom.

You checked on him once more before going to bed, a light snore coming out of him. Seems like he's all tuckered out and okay for now, the hangover is definitely not going to be pretty in the morning. You settled yourself into your sheets and turned the lights off, soon falling asleep.

The sound of your alarm on your phone blared in your ears, arms trying to pull out from underneath the blanket to turn it off but you didn't move an inch. Groggily opening your eyes, you saw an arm wrapped around your body, your mind not registering what was going on until you heard the soft sounds of breathing on top of your head. You turned your head slowly to the couch, the connection finally being put together when you saw his body wasn't lying there.

He started to rouse from his sleep when the alarm kept sounding off, an annoyed hiss slipping through his lip as his head lifted up from yours, reaching over himself to shut it off.

"Good morning big guy." You whispered as he settled back next to you, lightly squeezing you closer to him as if you were his pillow.

Bertolt grumbled quietly. "What time is it?"

"According to my alarm, maybe 8:05 in the morning." You tried to get up to get him water and something for his headache, but he didn't budge an inch. The two of you laid with each other, basking in the morning warmth quietly.

"Sorry for getting in bed with you, I tried finding a blanket but didn't want to wake you up."

"It's fine," You hummed quietly, turning your body towards him. "You okay though?"

He opened his mouth but closed it, falling silent as he slowly began to think. He turned on his back, staring at the white ceiling.

"Not really. Everything still hurts and I'm tempted to cry even more but... I don't know. Some part of me feels... relieved? If I never told her, I'd still be stuck in a loop worrying whether I'd ruin something between us and keep having this twist in my stomach whenever I see her with someone else. I'm glad that she found someone that she's happy with but..."

Bertolt put his forearm over his eyes, letting out a soft laugh.

"But why do I still want her?" His voice cracked, a tremble following the end of his words and once more, you wrapped your arms around his torso. You could smell his sadness, a heavy and misty petrichor filling the room in waves.

"Sometimes there's things that we desperately want to have but can't have. Irrational as it is, it's in our nature." You mumbled, your hands balling up in his sweatshirt.

"Like you with Reiner?" Your blood ran cold as he said that but you merely pushed your face into his body.

"I don't know."

In the end, Reiner managed to find you and ask you to his game. You texted Bertolt, asking how was he able to get your location after being almost MIA for months. Apparently when you and him finally snuck him out of the dormitory, it completely slipped his mind that he had to wash off like usual. When he entered the frat house, Reiner greeted him but stopped midway, quickly approaching him and grabbing his shirt collar roughly.

He demanded me to tell him where you were. I'm so sorry Y/N, I couldn't stop him and our team needs the both of us playing.

You stared at the text, almost throwing your phone in frustration. You should've said no, had firmly stood behind your decision. Yet, the second his pheromones reached your nostrils, you couldn't stop yourself from agreeing, even if you were trying to look angry at him. You've noticed it had gotten stronger than before, was it because you haven't seen him in a while? You couldn't even be mad at Bertolt, you'd be terrified out of your mind too if an alpha was demanding an answer from you like that.

It's only for a few hours, you thought as you took in a slow breath. After that, he'll finally leave you alone.

‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’

Reiner picked you up earlier than usual. It was about 5:10 when you heard a knock at your door, causing you put down the lip gloss before you even could apply it. Shuffling over and peeking through the peephole, you saw him standing there in a suit and tie. He cleaned himself up, the stubble he once had when he found you was completely shaven away and his blond hair was slight slicked back with gel.

"You're early." You muttered as you opened the door, keeping it barely ajar. He's not even supposed to step foot in the dorm, nervousness crawling up your spine. His pheromones hit you like a train, practically everyone that was walking down the dorm hallway could smell him, heads turning in your room's direction.

"I wanted to see you." He grinned, pushing the door open even more — nearly knocking you over — and handing you a bouquet of morning glories, camellias, and forget-me-nots. As you were staring at the mostly red flowers, almost a complete eyesore with the addition of the light blue petals that peered out from within, he waltzed in your safe haven without your permission.

"Hey! Reiner, you can't just—!"

You groaned as you exasperatedly followed after him, placing the bouquet down on your desk. His form was absolutely massive compared to the entire room, his head constantly turning towards the different decor that you hung up on the walls.

"I've never seen your dorm on the inside before, it's cute. It's... you." He softly mumbled, your face turning warm. You grabbed his sleeve, trying to tug him out of your space so you can get ready, but he stopped in the middle of the room, his attention honed in towards the messed sheets of your bed.

"Reiner," You started, your eyes following to where he was looking at. Your heart nearly stopped in your chest when you smelled a burning anger occupy the space — a smoldering, cindering scent — nearly making you cover your nose from how horrible it was. You gulped, hand slipping out and down to your side in a fist. "Reiner, w-we... we didn't do anything."

He just stood there silently, still focused on your bed. He has every right to be angry, you were literally snuggling with his best friend this morning, but you didn't belong to him. Scummy as it was, you made your bed and laid on it, there was nothing he could change about it.

"I-I'm just going to get ready." You whispered, turning around to go back into the bathroom. Big mistake.

Large hands grabbed your wrist, dragging you around in a speed that you couldn't comprehend. You almost screamed as he threw you on the bed, Reiner following after you and trapping you beneath him, his leg in-between yours. Fear was pouring out of you in waves but he couldn't smell it, no one could.

It took him little time and effort for him to press his lips against yours, your eyes wide as you soon realized what he was doing. You tried moving your mouth away, a scared and little no slipping out but he caught you again, his hand gripping your chin and forcing your head to stay in place. You tried pulling at his suit, squirming and kicking your legs, anything to get this monster off of you, but he didn't budge, seemingly finding enjoyment in your weak attempts as he pressed himself deeper against your lips.

His knee nudged at your cunt, a muffled, surprised gasp coming out of you, letting him enter your mouth even more. A shiver ran up your spine as you felt his tongue run against yours, the wet muscle violating wherever he went in a meticulous fashion. You could barely breathe, the smell of him and the aftershave he had on was so intense that you could feel the tug of your omega side slipping through the cracks of your mind; not even your medication was able to stop you from feeling this way.

Reiner finally pulled away, a mix of each other's saliva connecting the two of you. Strands of his gelled back hair fell over his forehead, your once-brushed out hair tousled into a mess. Both of your breaths were uneven and heavy, his eyes low and dazed as he stared down at you. Tears were running down your face, ruining what you've already put on, your eyebrows scrunched together in absolute horror as you shared the same stare with him. He sniffed the air once, again and again as he neared your neck.

"Stop, stop, stop." You cried out as you pushed against his stubborn head, fearing that he would bite down on your scent gland.

He didn't make any move, only sniffing at you like a curious dog. He then pressed his lips against it, causing you to abruptly stiffen in horrid expectation.

There was no pain as he pulled away from you, your hand immediately shooting to your neck to feel for any welts or marks. Nothing. A simple kiss was all he did on it, and you couldn't help but feel appreciative that he didn't mark you.

"Don't you dare see Bertolt ever again, you understand?" He hissed into your ear, the threat echoing hollowly in your head. No way in hell were you going to listen to him, but the omega in you nodded slowly, his heavy body finally lifting off of you. You tried to ignore the imprint straining against his lower half, your eyes staring up at him in complete shock.

"Go get yourself ready."

Shakily getting up on your feet, you beelined towards the bathroom without a single word, nearly collapsing on the floor once you turned the lock. As you looked at your face in the mirror, dripping dark drops of mascara and eyeliner stained the apples of your cheeks. The lipstick that was once there, was now rubbed away, leaving nothing but your bare lips. Your hand trembled as you reached over for a makeup wipe, a quiver of a sigh coming out of you.

You wanted to throw up, get every bit of spit and slobber of his out of your system, but you couldn’t. He’d hear you.

Reiner brought one of his jersey's for you to wear once you came out of the bathroom with fresh casual makeup back on, and you could tell that the article was completely drenched in his scent. You sniffed at it gingerly as you held it in your hands, cringing away from the sweet vanilla smell.

"What? It's clean, I promise."

"Liar." You mumbled under your breath but pulled it over the shirt you wore, the fabric loose against your body. He took a quick minute to admire you in his clothing, placing his hand on your cheek and stroking the skin with his thumb. You could still see the red stain of your lipstick smeared on his lips, trying to fight back tears and a sneer.

"You look so fuckable right now," You bit the inside of your cheek as you watched the tip of his tongue licked across his bottom lip, the darks of his pupils reflecting an unhinged licentiousness that horrified you within every atom in your body. "Maybe tonight, when I win, I'll be getting another trophy."

"Don't forget our deal asshole," You finally spat out, ripping his hand off of your face in disgust. "I'm only going to your stupid game because of the promise you made this morning."

Reiner simply stared down at you, your nerves scrambling even worse than before. He finally scoffed, crossing his arms. "Right. Our deal."

You hated the fact that he basically was acting like he didn't just forcefully kiss you, your nails digging into the palm of your hand. "Can we go now?"

He checked his phone, huffing slightly. "Yeah. Don't worry, we're not that far to the stadium. Just a few traffic lights and we'll be there."

You felt all the color drain from your face. You thought it was close by in walking terms but now you had to be in a small space where it now completely smells like him? Might as well hold your breath the entire ride.

The short drive was quiet, some random old rock station was lowly playing on the radio, but the two of you didn't speak to each other. What would even be exchanged anymore? You didn't want to be associated with him so long as you walked on this planet. Reiner's fingers thrummed on the wheel, red spilling into the car and staining every surface within. He turned towards you as if he wanted to say something and you stared back, a chill running down your spine. No words were said, but you felt every little thing from his smell.

Ravenous, a voracious appetite for the predator in disguise. Right in front of him, a five-course meal just ripe for the picking. All he's doing now was waiting for you to back into an inescapable cliff, the perfect moment to finally strike.

"...You have to go." You whispered and he finally broke eye contact, staring at the traffic light above and accelerating.

"Yeah, right."

The silence once presumed until the two of you approached the stadium, him mentioning that he got you a seat near the rink so you could see the action up close. To be honest, you could care less about the game and who would win overall. Reiner handed you the ticket between his index and middle finger, but when you reached over to grab it, he took it back.

"Need a good luck kiss from you first. If this is the last time I'll get to see you, I want to make it last."

You didn't want to rile him up before he played or make him force his hand upon you in the car, so you planted a quick kiss on his cheek before grabbing the ticket from his hand simultaneously. "Okay. Done. Good luck or whatever."

You scrambled out of his car, making your way to the inside as soon as possible. The arena was louder than you thought once you stepped foot, the joyous chatter and screams echoing throughout the hallways. LED screens hanging from the ceiling flashed the words Marley Warriors vs Paradis Titans, showing the line-ups of each team member.

Reiner came first in the centers, his pose prideful and boasting with stats to match. The other three names that you noticed were Porco Galliard, Colt Grice, and Eren Kruger. You eventually saw Bertolt come up as one of the right wingers but no sign of his usual reserved side showed in his photo, he looked focused and tough more than anything else. One of the goalies was an older looking individual by the name of Zeke Jaeger, confident but not too boasting. Clips of their past games showed afterwards, showing their amazing teamwork and impressive previous goals, then moving on to the other team.

The main centers for the Paradis Titans were composed of four men; Eren Jaeger, Jean Kirschtein, Levi Ackerman, and Miche Zacharius. Was the Eren guy related to the other Jaeger on your university's team? They definitely didn't look alike in your opinion but it could simply be because of a crazy Punnett square. Some wingers and defensemen that you sorta paid attention to were Armin Arlelt, Hange Zoë, Floch Forster, and Connie Springer. The goalie on their team was a massive blond man named Erwin Smith, his photo exuding a powerful stance, maybe even more than your uni's goalie. You felt like Reiner's team might have some trouble facing them, their defense and attack seems pretty threatening.

You finally took a glance at your ticket, walking around trying to find the stairway for your seating. The smells of popcorn, melted cheese, and hotdogs filled your nose, but you didn't feel hungry at all, still sick to your stomach from what had happened earlier. Eventually you finally found where you were supposed to go, and if you thought it was loud in the other shell of the arena, finally stepping in the seating area and the rink was absolutely ear-breaking.

Sirens, music, screaming, loud announcers. Almost every unbearable sound was contained in the structure, you should've bought earplugs prior to this. Not to mention, every scent of maybe hundred alphas and omegas intertwined made you feel even more overwhelmed, a headache beginning to form.

It's only for a few hours, a few hours and you'll never see this place or him ever again.

Your seat was nearby Reiner's team, nearly in-between the other team as well, the other teammates chattering with each other. You've sorta recognized them, occasionally seen around campus and such. Heads and eyes of strangers from school nearby were somewhat turning towards you, even the team started to notice you walking up behind them. Your face burned up at the realization once you sat down. Shit. You had completely forgotten that you were wearing Reiner's heavily scented jersey, you might as well be showing off the mating mark that he could've made a few hours ago.

"Yo Braun's omega is here!" One of the team members called out and you almost hid your head in your hands in embarrassment. Oh God, don't say that.

"Y/N, you made it?" The most recognizable voice cleared your thoughts immediately, head perking back up with a wide smile.

"Bertolt!" You wanted to hug him but he recoiled back as if you were a stranger, his nose scrunching. Your face fell immediately, his gaze sinking down in shame when he noticed your crestfallen expression.

"Sorry, it's not you. It's... y'know. That." He nudged the bottom of the jersey with the end of his stick, a frown forming on your face.

"I know. He made me wear it." You frustratingly tugged at the fabric with one hand and he chuckled, ruffling the top of your head. You'd burn it on the spot if you could.

"I didn't make you wear anything babe, you've always liked wearing my clothes." The sound of his voice made you freeze in place, eyes wide as your head turned in the direction of where he was walking in. Bertolt followed suit, his hand retracting away from you as if you were suddenly a hot stove.

"I don't think I could follow up your end of our deal if you're not respecting my demands, omega." No. That was never part of the agreement. You just gave the okay so he'd get off your back about it. He genuinely couldn't be serious about not seeing Bertolt anymore, right?

"Don't be an asshole Reiner. She's not just an omega."

The blond scowled at his friend, shoving his helmet roughly against his chest. He pushed it off of him, staring the other down in a sneer. You've never seen Bertolt like this before, the usual rain smell he had was turning stormy and bitterly furious.

"Oh, I'm the asshole? I wasn't the one hiding my fucking mate from me for months and sleeping in her bed. Not to mention, what happened to Annie or did you get tired of another alpha that's better than you?" You internally winced for him, that was such a low blow. Bertolt looked stunned for a second, glancing over at you for a quick second, but he pushed his shoulder back roughly in return.

"Don't bring Annie into this Reiner, this is about my friend. Did you really think she'd let you — of all people in this school — mark her when you act like a conceited asshole? She's not your fated mate. You've proven that over and over again that she's going to be like the rest, you knotheaded fuck."

You gasped at the sudden insult, a vein nearly popping out of Reiner's forehead but he didn't say anything more, pushing past Bertolt and shouldering him roughly with a scowl. You didn't mean for them to start an argument with one another, the game hadn't even started and tensions were already high. The Paradis Titans team weren't hiding their amused stares, the Eren Jaeger guy whispering to the short haired, bowl-cut blond next to him; Armin, you think. The murmurs of strangers behind you made you feel sick, hearing the word knottease being tossed around, the horrid word directed towards you.

You started to apologize profusely once Bertolt turned towards you, but he simply held out a hand, patting your shoulder as you stopped.

"Don't be. Someone needed to say it to him, maybe this fight would finally clear his head."

"But the game Bertolt, I—" You started but he interrupted you once more.

"I don't give a shit about the game if you're the one being hurt. You matter more than hitting a puck around, okay?" If you weren't wearing Reiner's jersey, you'd hug him right now. He smiled and put his helmet on, leaning close to you to whisper something in your ear.

"By the way, don't listen to the jerks behind you. You're nothing like that, you're going to be something great." He backed away once the horn started, walking over to the entrance to the ice rink to join his team. Good luck, you wanted to say because if anything, he'll need it when he gets into the arena with a monster in tow.

‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’

If you thought Reiner was bad in practice, his violent playstyle was nothing compared to when he's in an actual game. How on Earth this sport was approved to play for anyone, you had no idea. All you could hear was men yelling at each other and slamming each other to snatch the slippery little puck, fans behind you hollering just as loudly.

Both Reiner and Bertolt had seemed to forgive each other on the court, winning being the only thing on their minds. Just like in practice, they didn't have to say anything to get the point across, making passes and attempted shots whenever they had the slightest of openings. The two Galliards seemed to be more communicative with one another, defending the goalie whenever they could with short barks of commands. They were good but Eren Jaeger seemed to be the rookie ace of the Titans, managing to push through and score in the most impossible scenarios.

You could tell he was aggravating them, putting them in a corner while constantly taunting them with a one-liner or a smug smile as he scored. An angry alpha was something not to mess with and putting a whole group of them against other alphas who were mocking them for their failures? It's obviously an immediate recipe for disaster.

Intermission came around, the score against the Warriors by two. As the teams were talking to one another to plan out their next attack, you watched the Zambonis slowly smooth out the ice again. You paid no attention to them and their chatter, you wouldn't have made sense of it anyways.

"Hey," You looked around for the source of the voice and finally down, seeing bright turquoise-blue and a mess of brown hair standing below you. He smelled sharply fresh, like the first bite to a mint leaf and drinking cold water afterwards. It wasn't necessarily bad like most in the arena, just made your nose crinkle a little from the suddenness of it. "Eren Jaeger."

"Oh- um... Y/N. Aren't you supposed to be talking to your team?"

He waved his hand dismissively towards your statement, crossing his arms with a smile. "Nah, there's nothing else that's new with the planning. You, however, are the talk of the arena."

Your cheeks flushed warm, the temptation of burying yourself alive later on growing more and more, but you grimaced instead. "So what? You wanted to see if I'm what they say I am?"

Eren shook his head, taking a few steps closer towards you. "I'm not talking about the knottease comments, I'm talking about the Reiner Braun's mate comments. Is it true?"

"No! Of course not!" You exclaimed in shock, but the subtle-not-so-subtle glance downwards towards your attire seemed to make him doubt you otherwise. You tried defending yourself about it without revealing much about the twisted relationship you actually have with Reiner.

"This is just because he thinks he's claimed me and we've made a deal. I have no other choice."

"Is it now? Well then," He pointed towards himself with a thumb, his grin growing even wider. "When I win, wanna go on a date with me after this?"

How many alphas were gunning for you right now?! You knew that you took your suppressants today after Bertolt left your dorm so how come this was happening to you? The absolute balls on this man, especially since he was thinking that his team had already won. You wearily shook your head, you've had your fill of pestering alphas for the rest of your schooling life.

He looked dejected for a second but perked up immediately, the buzzer of the timer echoing throughout the arena. You thought that was that and began to turn your attention towards your college's team, but then he called out a 'head's up', tossing something in your direction. You caught it in surprise, looking in the palm of your hands and finding a keyhole shaped earring.

"Keep it! For the next time we meet!" Eren waved you goodbye and jogged over to his side of the team, high-fiving and chattering with his friends before putting a helmet on. You let a small smile slip out, he may be a little cute but there was definitely no way you were ever going to see him ever again. You safely tucked it into your pocket, finally looking towards the Warriors.

He was watching you. Of course. There was a livid look in his eyes, his brows scrunched even more in irascibility and his teeth were bared, perhaps even grinding together in this current moment. You paled at the thought of them sinking into your neck like some kind of rabid animal. Reiner was barely human anymore, you realize. Any loving gaze that he had before for you was nothing more but a dangerous hunger.

All you could hope was for the Warriors to win so he would be in a decent mood to finalize the goodbyes, and you'd pray for the Titans for the brutality that they're about to endure because of his horrid attachment to you.

The players slid into the ice once more, the deafening cheers of everyone growing louder and louder as the second half of the game was beginning to start. The referee smoothly made his way between the two masses of men, Reiner staring down coldly into the clear mask of Eren. Like a coin flip, the puck was thrown highly into the midst of them, their eyes following it as it made its way down to the icy ground.

Click.

In a snap of a finger, the sound of sticks bashed together once the puck bounced off of the surface. Like a choreographed dance, the rivals whirled with one another, swinging and twisting their bodies around in order to get ahold of the very thing that might as well be the trophy itself. The intensity of the game was now at an all time high that even you started to pay more attention to it, the hairs on your arms raising in anticipation.

The puck swung back and forth like a pinball, but the Warriors managing to catch up to a tie. It was starting to become a standstill again however, taunting chants coming out from the people in the stands, jeering at the anyone that opposed their team. Players were being switched out on both teams during timeouts but few remained on the ice, a tense aura between the three.

Reiner, Bertolt, Eren.

Bertolt took a few glances at his friend, tapping the end of his stick with his and seemingly started to exchange words with him from what you could see. Who knows what it was about; the game, the enemy team, you. He only lifted his fist up, letting the other return it in a similar gesture and that seemed to calm the black-haired male's nerves.

Reiner's eyes were lasered in on Eren for the most part, gripping the handle of his stick tightly and swiping it around on the ice as if he was practicing a shot. He was truly unrecognizable, a shell of the man that once followed you around like the world's most clingiest puppy dog. You knew he wanted to show-off, his pride was at risk to a girl that he believed he owned for months. Disgusting and typical.

Eren seemed the most lax out of all of them, leaning against the plastic border as fans behind him fawned over him. He seemed not to care about Reiner's burning glares at him, waving across the rink to seemingly you. He seemed nice, but it was obvious that he had more intentions than just wanting to befriend you.

The whistle sounded and the game began once more, the men skating themselves back to the middle. You checked how much time was left on the clock, ten minutes. Ten more excruciating minutes and you were going to be finally free.

" 'Round it now!" You could hear Reiner call out to Grice as he suddenly slammed his complete weight into enemy Jaeger, their eyes meeting as the others chased after the puck. They went after it as well once he recovered from the blow, but it looked like they started talking and you managed to spot a furious glint glazing over his hazel eyes.

He suddenly threw his stick out onto the rink, ripping off his gloves and grabbing Jaeger's shirt by the collar in frightening speed. Reiner was undeniably experienced with his punches, uppercutting him from below the mask. It toppled off of his head, falling to the ground with a crack, and Eren was stunned for a second, just for a single second. He was unable to completely process what had happened before the bigger male tackled him to the cold ground, the deafening sounds of heavy bodies slamming into the ice made the arena stand still.

The referee was too afraid to intervene but blew the whistle immediately, and hundreds of people watched the Reiner Braun brutally dig his knuckles into his face. Fresh crimson spilt down on the ice in splatters and you were forced to witness him weakly trying to stop him, protecting his face as much as possible to no avail. Bertolt immediately tried pulling him off of him, shouting at him that he needed to stop but it was like he was in a trance, almost attacking him in the process.

He finally was pulled off of Eren by the goalie of Warriors — furiously throwing his own punch into his face — and the poor boy having to be quickly removed from the rink on a stretcher. Reiner was pinned to the ground by multiple individuals and given a tranquilizer, his body soon relaxing and slumping over. They put him on a stretcher as well, his hands and legs bounded together and his mouth wrapped with a cloth rag. He was still slightly conscious, his calm and woozy stare meeting your horrified one.

The game had to continue without them but you had already left, not knowing the result. You felt too nauseous from smelling the sheer fear and panic that was coming of Eren, pungent and potent as it filled the air. But Reiner's...

All you could smell was that sickening warmth, a burning sensation in your nares. The same scent from your dorm but that's not at all what made you leave immediately. The sick fuck was happy he was beating into the defenseless guy, exhilarated that his blood was running down his skin and staining the floor, joyful. The nose doesn't lie and you wonder if everyone else caught it too.

Bertolt texted you when he visited Reiner in the hospital, but you didn't respond, busy trying to scrub the remnants of him out of your dorm while tears ran down your cheeks.

He did it for you.

[thosewildcharms]

i'll be thinking about 1x04 for the rest of my life probably, but currently i'm thinking about how genius it was that instead of the episode being about convincing rick to fight the CRM, as I originally thought it would be, it ended up being a battle to bring rick himself back to life. it's both rick and michonne fighting to revive a dead man who is doing anything he can to stay dead.

the show had already established that rick metaphorically killed himself and made okafor's mission his own instead of committing suicide and that from the moment she arrived he went into panic mode and was doing everything he could do put himself between her and the many threats aimed at her. like, we knew all of that going in.

and then this episode blows that wide open in the first, what, ten minutes? the CRM thinks they're dead. they can leave. and still, rick clings to okafor's mission. and in the hands of lesser writers, in the hands of any other production team who did not understand these characters as profoundly as danai and andy understand them, that's where it would have ended. rick would have genuinely been fully brainwashed and have been coming from a place of misplaced egotism, and they'd be having a very different fight. it would be rick insisting he had to fight the crm alone and michonne arguing that they can fight them together with nothing deeper than that going on.

but of course that's not it, because that's not rick grimes, and this is danai gurira's pen. he's not brainwashed, he's broken. he's so deeply and profoundly traumatized that clinging to this mission as a way of maintaining his own metaphorical death has become the last and strongest wall of his self-defense mechanism. and he spends the whole episode desperately trying to keep that wall up, and failing.

when he sees michonne's scar, he immediately looks for the PRB. because the physical proof of how much danger she will always be in reminds him of how much he can no longer bear to witness it. when michonne tells him about RJ, he asks her to give him the PRB and when he learns that RJ calls himself Little Brave Man, he doubles down on okafor's plan. because he can never lose another child (the way he lost carl twice) if he never knows or meets him in the first place. when michonne blows up about how scared and guilty she feels about not being with their kids he goes completely cold and blank and tells her to go back home. because if they're all out of sight and together they'll always be alive in his mind. because he's already dead, but they don't have to be. he becomes truly recognizable to michonne, to remain unmoved in the face of her pain like that.

and yet. he lasts about ten seconds before sprinting after when she leaves the room. he fusses over her when she can't stop coughing and refuses to leave her side when she's in danger. several times michonne checks in, to see if her rick is still there ("do you still love me?" "I just needed to hear you say it") and confirms that yes, he is. he's emphatic that he has never stopped loving her and never will, that she never has to thank him ever, for saving her life or for anything else. over and over, his love for her wins out even though he's trying so hard to keep that wall up. to remain dead so she will leave and keep living. he's trying to convince both her and himself that he's already gone, but always breaks at the last minute because the immediacy of seeing her right in front of him is more powerful than his own fear. tries to shut himself down, can't resist her, rinse and repeat.

and god, michonne. i've been yammering about the intensity of rick's love for michonne for weeks now, but michonne has done nothing but prove that she's right there with him, if not more. to reveal that rick is the only person who has ever made her feel safe, only to have him continually reject her and be a stone wall against her anger and pain and fear and confusion was so fucking heartbreaking to watch, and still she spends the whole episode banging and scratching and tearing at that wall around him, begging to understand why he's lying to her, why he's being so antithetical to the man she loves. and once she figures out that there's something else going on, that the rick she loves is undoubtedly still in there, she knows exactly what to do to save him. she forces him to say how much he loves her, how much he can't bear to actually let her leave him, so both of them can hear it and then reminds him of how he loves her. this woman spent a decade alone, afraid, raising their kids and facing horrible trauma herself, almost dies trying to find her husband only to meet a stranger once she does, and still does not give up on him. fucking incredible.

i said in a previous post that the only thing that could keep rick grimes from doing anything to get back to his family is a threat to their lives. and it's still true - his grief and trauma is so profound that even the nebulous threat of losing them is so horrifically terrifying to him that he's refusing to go home to them, keeping himself dead to protect himself from their possible deaths. but ultimately, michonne's love for him is even stronger than that. it took almost a decade for the CRM to break him, and michonne brings him back in a day. because the love they have for each other is more powerful than anything. as she says, it can't be denied.

it's honestly the most romantic hour of television i've ever watched. there's so much more that i can say that i haven't even touched on here, and i'm sure i'll be thinking about it for a very long time.

[crowwithacomputer]

Thoughts on Arcane S2 so far (devastated) and small predictions (even more devastated)

With Spoilers

On Jinx and Vi

Nothing better than discovering that your dad is actually not dead but a literal fucking beast and now you have to talk to your sister who turned emo/crazy to save him.

+ Silco and Vander were besties.

I'm happy to see the new relationship between these two after all. So much to apologise and so much to say, and also trying to save the country. I just hope they have small sister fights constantly.

On Caitlyn

I must admit I didn't see Cait coming because I thought she just turned evil but turns out people are complex beings and Cait is not Ambessa.

"Caitlyn is not distracted" that's such a hard line from Vi. She was so distracted by Ambessa but she's right back on track. I love seeing THE lesbians back. Now, they have a lot to talk about and mostly with Jinx, because that sister-in-law relationship is, well, it's definitely a relationship.

On Isha

Wow. I don't even know how to feel because WOW. She was one of the strongest characters I've seen. She loved these people, who by the way she (more or less) just met and she sacrificed her entire life for them and many more. THAT'S strong. I'm gonna miss her and I'm sure Jinx is NOT letting this slide.

On Jayce and Viktor

Jayce is so absolutely traumatised he went insane and I'm just hoping Viktor didn't actually die because I will start killing people, but I'm not mad at him. Mostly I want to see how he turns out. Of course he didn't want to kill him but he did what he thought was okay.

I think the final speech Viktor gave was absolutely amazing. Again, the complexity of the characters is something I had definitely never seen before (although I haven't consumed as much media as I would like to), and how the writers were able to build everything has me crying.

My prediction is that Jayne will be suffering quite a lot and think about Viktor nonstop. The thing is (coming from my own sadness) I think Viktor is not dead, but his body is. He transcended human nature and will be talking to Jayce, maybe through whatever the hammer has going on. My boy Jayce has it BAD.

I want at least a hug and Jayce bawling his eyes out. Ugly crying. Snot, tears and drool all over his face apologising to Viktor and not knowing what to do. And then they both smooch in the weird arcane realm they're in. *figurines clicking together sounds*

Now for real, I would love it if Viktor got into his mind when he sleeps of whatever and talks to him. Maybe he explains what he's seen and Jayce and him fight over what to do, because they have extremely different views on Hextech. That will be a good fight to see.

On Ekko and Mel

Oh god what is going on. For real what are they putting my girl and my boy through. Someone help these people.

Like, Jayce got out but where the fuck are Ekko and Heimendinger? And Mel is just lost in the weirdest realm ever, even worse than whatever Viktor has going on. All of this will be cleared out in the next episodes but damn. There's A LOT to clear out.

My thoughts

I must admit I didn't do a rewatch and that's leaving me with a few questions, but I'll probably watch it all over again and see the full show at its finest.

I will say that in the series that I watch I usually pick favourites. If they're not on screen I lose interest, but this show has me on a chokehold. Every one of these characters are so important and so interesting, and I think that's what makes a show good.

Beautiful writing, beautiful storytelling, beautiful art, beautiful pace. I just love it. As an amateur writer I love seeing this, it's such an inspiration to continue. It's so hard to watch knowing my favs will be going through hell but as a writer it's amazing to see how well the writers built that hell. So to conclude:

The girls are all against Ambessa, me and my besties overthrowing the government.

Jayce and Viktor having yet ANOTHER boyfriend fight, biblical edition.

Mel and Ekko are having the worst weed paranoia ever seen, now with magic.

The whole country is collapsing and these stupid bitches have to save it with the power of friendship and gayness, and I'm here for it.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[ahegato]

Obey Me - Mains as Wild Cats

m.list

TW: swearing Characters: main Writer: Ahegato

Really this is just an opportunity for me to share some big kitty facts lmao

I'm called Gato for a reason y'kno?

please talk to me about cats, they're my hyperfixation and I don't get nearly enough time to talk about them :'(

LUCIFER = Jaguar

the jaguar is no doubt the fiercest big cat out there

tigers and lions may be bigger, but their bite force is significantly weaker than that of a jaguar

and the jaguar also bites through the skull rather than the throat, which is hardcore af

if the lion is king of the jungle, the jaguar is the god of the jungle

—

MAMMON = Cougar

just like mammon, the mountain lion is all meow and no bite

they're actually big cowards and would rather run away

will only fight if they get pressured and none of the bluffing managed to scare you off

known to be one of the cuddliest cats in captivity and, differently from big cats like lions and tigers, they can still purr like a cat

—

LEVIATHAN = Cheetah

cheetahs actually have crippling anxiety and often need emotional support dogs when in captivity

only built for speed and nothing else, they heavily lack in all other areas, which makes existing rather difficult for them

they often get their meals stolen from lions, leopards and hyenas, similar to how Levi feels like his brothers are stealing you from him lmao

—

SATAN = Leopard

not the biggest, not the strongest, but god damn do they get a lot of pressure from competition

leopards literally have to pull their meals up a tree just to get it to themselves

to make the above fact more crazy, the food they put in trees are usually bigger than they are

hyenas and lions often bully the smaller feline, which would probably leave them with a lot of pent up aggression towards them (similar to how satan feels about lucifer)

the only difference between leopards and cheetahs regarding that pressure is that cheetahs basically give up right away while leopards might put up more of a fight

leopards also seem to be rather hissy in captivity

—

ASMODEUS = Lion

lions aren’t that much more sexual than other large kitties

BUT male lions literally has like a harem of lionesses

also have you SEEN a horny lioness before? they’re downright slutty

also also

the lion is the only feline I’ve heard of that has ✨gay sex✨ with each other (and funnily enough, a male is often more gentle when mating with another male than with a female)

—

BEELZEBUB = Tiger

tigers are friendly and surprisingly familial for solitary animals

stranger tigers can in some cases share meals together and they do it without practically starting a civil war like lions do with members of their own pride

tigers like to greet each other by chuffing, and they even do this to other creatures (including humans) they like

I love tigers so much man please help

—

BELPHEGOR = Snow Leopard

neither are very social and they prefer to be by themselves

only difference is that snow leopards aren’t dangerous to humans while belphegor definitely is (was)

they also prefer not to get into fights

—

DIAVOLO = Liger

yes yes I know, this is technically not a wild cat since they’re all born in captivity

but come on. you can see the similarities, right?

first of all, ligers are fucking HUGE. like seriously, look them up

they weigh twice as much as the siberian tiger (which is the largest wild cat in the world)

—

BARBATOS = Clouded Leopard OR Jaguarundi

straight up vibes here too

they just kinda remind me of Barb for some reason??

—

SIMEON = Lynx

not at all dangerous to humans and would much rather hide or run away from a threat

they’re more like extra feral house cats than something like a lion

they’re smol and actually rather talkative with humans in captivity

(the ones you see on youtube that are growling or hissing are usually bobcats, which is really just a grumpy, younger cousin or sibling of the lynx)

—

LUKE = Black Footed Cat

known as the deadliest cat on the planet, with a hunting success at 60%

coincidentally also one of the smallest cats on the planet, weighing in at 1-2 kg

that’s less than that of a domestic cat, which are usually at 4 kg

there isn’t really much more that put them together, but you can see the similarities right?

an alternative could be the sand cat, but they're a bit larger

—

SOLOMON = Serval

it’s just the vibes, man

servals are very playful kitties, but they also don’t let you get too close to them or they get hissy

kinda like with Solomon, as he does enjoy your company but still has a wall that keeps you from getting closer

zoomies, hissing, pouncing

✦ written 2023 ✦ posted 22/05/2024 ✦ ahegato ✦

[spicerackofblorbos]

i'm GOD AWFUL at answering my asks unless they're requests, I'm sorry a;sldkfjas;df but to everyone who has sent me hearts, good vibes, and sunflowers, I appreciate and love you all so much!! <3 i'm finally getting around to this one!

i've been ordered by kat to do 5 more so here's my top 10 favorite fics I've written!! These are ALL x reader!

1. Amethyst | Leon Kennedy 2. Unspoken Words | Levi Ackerman - Chapter One: November 3. Sunrise | Levi Ackerman 4. Home | Leon Kennedy 5. For You, I Would | Armin Arlert 6. Can I Go Where You Go? | Levi Ackerman 7. Are You There? | Levi Ackerman 8. Chasing Waterfalls | Toge Inumaki 9. You'll Be Okay | Levi Ackerman 10. What's Mine, Is Yours | Erwin Smith

And here's my answer to tay's ask about my fics!

❥ fic I loved writing the most

this will always be dependent on when you ask me, because right now it will have to be Amethyst. If y'all haven't noticed, my newest love is Leon Kennedy, and writing for him is so much easier than writing for Levi and I think it's because I understand Leon's personality more. He's just so fun to riff off of. Not that Levi wasn't!! He was just harder to put down for me, I guess. ANWAYS. I loved writing for Leon and I'm working on a part two!!

❥ fic others loved that I didn't care for

okay so this might come as a surprise because it's my ultimate comfort fic, but it would have to be Sunrise. tbh, I don't know what loved the most means here but I'll equate it to notes. Sunrise is precious to me because it holds so many of my favorite things. BUT I really feel like I could have done so much better. The plot is there, the scenario and surroundings are perfect. but the WRITING?? I could have done better. don't get me wrong though, I still love it and I am very happy so many people liked it!!

❥ fic I had fun writing

definitely my For You, I Would fic. I don't have very many Armin fics but I enjoyed writing for him a lot because he's just such a shy little bean and so full of wonder and love. I could really see myself wanting to take him out on a date. This was also a request for my friend Tay and it was fun catering her interests within the story and how it works well with Armin!!

❥ fic I'm most proud of

for sure it would have to be Unspoken Words. I'm proud because it was the first time I've written something for myself in a long time. I didn't think I would care as much about fanfic until I fell in love with AoT, now look at me LMAO. UW helped me become a better writer as well as be more confident in areas I thought I lacked. I quite literally used it as a way to be better, and I'll always be proud of it. My first ever full and finished fic, I'll never forget it <3

❥ fic I wish got more recognition

probably Can I Go Where You Go? mainly because I really liked writing the semi plot twist at the end. like if you were caught up with season 4 of AoT, you would know what I was alluding to and it's like a kick in the gut LMAO. but also I thought I did pretty well with the descriptors, not to brag ofc. :3

❥ my happiest/saddest/most comedic fic

I SPENT 30 MINUTES LOOKING FOR THIS. but the saddest will have to be this short drabble about Levi losing you in an expedition and him coming to your old room, reminiscing. I don't know what brought it on but I was like, huh. let's just be SAD.

if you're interested, my fic masterlist can be found here!

finally, thank you so much for the asks @kingkonoha, @youre-ackermine, and @humanitys-strongest-bamf!! I love y'all a lot <3

[isalisewrites]

A tidbit of writing advice

I've been writing for over two decades now. In my years, I've learned, what I consider, the most essential lesson for one's success in writing. I've seen so many writers give up and lose their fire because they haven't learned this yet. If you learn the following, then losing your love and motivation for writing will rarely occur.

Write for yourself, first and foremost.

I know it's fun to share your work and receive comments about your writing. It's a rush. It's wonderful to hear that someone loved what you created.

Unfortunately, you will face those who don't like your work, for whatever reason.

Some writers give up because they get a comment or too many more that is rude or even nasty. I have faced the same thing before. It sucks. It's discouraging. It can take the wind out of your sails. Many writers even delete their works and I think that's a crime against the heart of humanity. It feels like digital book burning and I've lost too many old favorites because of this.

Your story isn't for every reader, but your story does have a sacred audience who treasure your hard work and dedication.

So, I ask, who are you writing for?

I could say write for those who love your work, but that's a weak fuel source. It will not last nor push you through the hardest of days. Accolades are easily given and easily forgotten.

But you, the writer, whose characters live so brightly and so loudly in your head, you are your strongest fuel source. You are the first reader and the only one whose opinion matters. Write because you love it. Write because this is what you want to read. Write because it thrills your soul.

I can promise you, from personal experience, the moment you shift your purpose and reason for writing, the lighter you will feel. You are the God, the Goddess, the Divinity of your pen, your keyboard. Rude comments will be dismissed with relative ease because you know they hold no power over you.

I always appreciate the hype and excitement surrounding my fanfic updates. I get a ton of joy from that.

However, I write for myself and only for myself, and I'm so much stronger because of it.

Write for yourself.

[hyenahunt]

Obbligato: Epilogue - 4 (END)

Writer: Akira

Season: Winter

Characters: Hiyori, Jun, Tatsumi, Nagisa, HiMERU

Proofreading: Remi + 310mc (JP) & Skyress (ENG)

Translation: Peace & hyenahunt

Tatsumi: Amen.

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Hiyori: Haha. Yes, do continue to lavish your praise upon our Jun-kun!

...Honestly, when I was first shown around Reimei Academy, I found myself feeling as though we'd gotten the short end of the stick.

At that time, we had nowhere else that we could go, so we'd no choice but to resign ourselves to it. That before we could escape from Hell, we'd continue to be trapped in its depths for a while longer still.

Hiyori: But you see, as I walked along preoccupied with such melancholy thoughts, I happened to look out the window, and there I saw Jun-kun, dutifully practicing in silence all on his own.

The atmosphere of Reimei Academy at the time was truly dreadful — everyone seemed either dead inside, or they glared at each other with pure resentment.

Jun-kun was the only one with none of that air about him — instead he aspired only to improve himself.

Hiyori: And what a beautiful sight he was... Of course, telling him that to his face would be too embarrassing — it'd go to his head and he'd never let me hear the end of it.

It was while watching this boy that I found it in myself to believe my decision hadn't been made in vain. That if there was even one person like him here, then perhaps it wasn't all so bad.

And so that's why I made the decision to enroll at Reimei Academy, with Jun-kun as my goal. Honestly, I was there initially to scope out Shuuetsu Academy, a school made up of nothing but Special Student elites.

But I found myself believing that I should start all over again at rock bottom and covered with mud, just like Jun-kun.

After all, when you're up somewhere so lofty and high, you'll fail to see what's truly important.

Jun: And just what have you been so cheerfully badmouthing me 'bout, huh~?

Hiyori: Goodness, I wasn't badmouthing you. You're simply being paranoid.

Jun: You swear?

Tatsumi: That's right. I believe that you're rather important to Tomoe-san, Jun-san.

Hiyori: It's true! You rank right after my family, namely Nagisa-kun and Mary!

Jun: I rank below a dog, huh?

Hiyori: If that bothers you so much, then climb your way up! Come now, put your all into it and work ever harder for my love!

Jun: Shut it... It's not like I'm working hard for the sake of your love, y'know~?

I'm working hard so that I can be a better version of myself. Maybe my life looks all kinds of unfortunate and pitiful besides yours, but...

That's precisely why I wanna become the best and strongest idol, so that someday I can declare that's who I am, loud and proud.

It's then that the hard work of my past self will finally all be worth it.

So I'm gonna work hard, right now. I'm gonna give it everything I've got — 'cause giving it all that I've got is all I can do.

Tatsumi: That's right. Fufu, you truly do have no need for God's divine protection.

Jun: You got that right. I don't need no God to save me — 'cause I'm gonna be the one who'll save myself.

Tatsumi: .......♪

Nagisa: ... Shall we stop this idle chatter and begin recording, everyone?

... Though we could simply just rehearse today, and leave the actual filming for another day…

... We don’t have another day to spare, do we?

HiMERU: HiMERU agrees. There is no time to be looking back on days gone by.

We must look towards the future instead, and live earnestly.

So long as we are allowed to do so.

HiMERU: (Kaname. My poor, pitiable little brother. I shall take your place, at least for now.)

(I hope that one day, when you are able to walk once more, you will be able to live a little happier than before.)

(I'll arrange an environment in which you can, and secure a place for you in it as well.)

HiMERU: (I am your older brother, after all.)

HiMERU: (When you awake, when you're able to walk once more…)

(I won't fail this time. I'll make your wish come true.)

(Long have I lived alone, void of any dream at all — and now what was yours has since become my own.)

Tatsumi: (... Ah, even though this is the same place as then, the same Reimei Academy…)

(It feels different. Right now, I feel so refreshed and full of energy.)

(Are you the one I should thank for that, God?)

Tatsumi: (Our Father who art in heaven, you have always guided my life with your hand.)

(Dear fate, dear faith, I thank you for leading me to where I stand today.)

(We have faced much sorrow, despair, and tragedy.)

(Nonetheless, I stand enveloped in the warmth I had always craved. If this is reward for my piety, O God, then I truly could never detest you.)

Tatsumi: (Even if it happens that God does not exist, and this is nothing but a series of coincidences…)

(Then I shall call those coincidences miracles, rewards, and love you all the more.)

(Amen.)

(Fufu. I shall do as Tomoe-san did and use Jun-san, whom he loves so much, as an example; I'll begin at the very bottom, crawling my way through the mud.)

Tatsumi: (No matter how often he gets knocked down, how often he collapses, he still stands right back up.)

(I am forever grateful for that. Not only do I have God on my side, but friends as well.)

(Such invaluable friends who support one another…)

(Who share their warmth, and move forward with happiness in their hearts.)

(We shall walk together on this road, step by step.)

Tatsumi: ♪～♪～♪

[ ☆ ]

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← prev ✦ all ✦

[themadcaptain]

Tell me about Ryou :V

1, 4, 12, 21, and 25!

Surprise, surprise XD

Ryou Bakura from Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters

Why do I like this little weirdo? Dude - he's a weird, white-haired anime boy - what's not to like? He gives off either the strongest Ace vibes or the strongest MonsterFucker (TM) vibes I've ever seen with NOTHING in between. He eats a LOT (which I respect) he plays table tops games and has an occult themed card deck that he uses to creep out his friends. What's not to like about this adorable little freak?? 4. Other media I would put him in? Listen, I just want him to be in the series he's *from.* This is a character with so much goddamn interesting potential that is **squandered*** - that being said, I would put him as the protagonist in a survival horror game. Natch. 12. Headcanons for Ru are mainly that he's some form of GNC -I don't know if it's trans, nb, or somewhere in between but he said "no thank you" to whatever he was assigned at birth and I'm here for it. ... I guess also that he's goth as hell - but is that really a headcanon?? 21. (Why do you ask questions you know the answers to?????) I'm not much of a fic writer (I'll get this shit written down eventually) but I love putting Ryou in AU's where he really gets to be weirder versions of himself or just spend time with people he likes. I also have a tendency to dig into a lot of his loneliness because good god is this honestly a sad character. Still he just kind of smiles through it and that's even more interesting to dig into. I don't read a lot of fic but the one thing I've seen a bit of when people write him that I don't like is just any instance of making him depressed or unfriendly. Like....have you seen this kid? He's a polite little ball of spookiness that is dying to share his weird interests with people. 25. First impression of him was probably that he just looked like a cool mysterious character (I dunno, I first watched YuGiOh when I was eleven) - compared to now I just think that he's a weird little guy who needs his backstory fleshed out and should hunt ghosts for a living.

[ficsbyuzi]

All the ways lead to you - part 4

Characters - Aemond Targaryen and Inara Maegyr (OFC) in a modern AU.

Warning: just some fluffy, swoon worthy moments

Word count: 1875

Masterlist

Part 3

A/N - Not proofread or beta read; I just write whatever comes to my mind. Isn’t that what us amateur writers are here for anyway? 🙃

Also, I’m using Mr. Mitchell’s face as Aemond for the first time in the header of my fic. Earlier, I was not in the favor of using an actor’s picture in fan-fictions. But since he too keeps Aemond with him all the time, I thought, why not? Plus this picture fits the story really well. 😩

“AEMOND? AEMOND TARGARYEN? Oh my god, oh my god, Inara, do you know how big of a star he is?”

Inara’s baby sister Nina’s voice echoed through the phone, high-pitched and brimming with excitement.

“Apparently, the whole world knows but me,” Inara responded robotically, rolling her eyes.

“You and your books and your makeup set! I have been begging you to watch some TV, but noooo…”

“Nina, manners.”

Nina apologized airily and quickly switched to her yapping.

“Tell me, did you speak to HIM?"

A smile tugged at the corners of Inara’s lips, which quickly faded as she recalled how Aemond brusquely brushed her off at their first meeting.

“Yeah, I did, but..” Inara couldn’t finish her sentence as gasps and squeals erupting from the phone startled her. She chuckled, flinching and moving the phone away from her ear. She could envision her sister flailing her arms.

“OMG, OMG, OMG, how does he sound? What does he smell like?" Nina bombarded her with inquiries.

"Smell? What? Calm down! He's just another person."

Inara was trying her best to sound composed and nonchalant, but an unbidden blush on her face said otherwise.

Two weeks ago, after the orientation meetings, she told herself that she would watch Aemond's shows objectively, to simply familiarize herself with his work and appreciate his talent as an actor.

But something like a tiny spark of infatuation ignited within her as she watched him on screen. Scene after scene unfolded, each one highlighting Aemond's charisma and irresistible charm. Everything about him fueled that spark - his witty dialogue, the intense romantic scenes with his co-stars, and the way he conveyed every emotion through his eyes.

The more she watched, the more spellbound she got.

And despite her earnest efforts to extinguish the spark, she couldn't. If anything, it grew into a proper flame, now constantly fueled by an anticipation of seeing and working with him every day.

"Are you there? Inara?"

"Yes...yes, I'm here, Nina. You were saying?" She cleared her throat, trying to shake off her daydreams.

God, why is it so difficult to focus these days?

"I was asking if you can get his autograph for me? Please say yes, please, please...pretty please?"

"Okay, okay, I'll try, stop begging." She sighed as more squeals and OMGs came from the other side of the phone.

“You are the best sister in the whole world!”

“Yeah, yeah, now I really need to go to bed. I'll call you later, alright? Love you. Good night."

The thought of navigating a request for an autograph swirled in her head as she prepared for bed.

Hours passed and her mind refused to shut down. Sleep seemed to elude her. Nerve-wracking thoughts of her first day at the shoot kept intertwining with the thrilling anticipation of meeting Aemond, making it impossible for her to catch even a second of rest.

After hours of staring at the ceiling and tossing and turning in bed, Inara finally succumbed to her restlessness. A refreshing shower and a mug of her strongest coffee later, she was on her way to the Red Keep studios. As the rosy, dawn rays peeked through the gray sky, she arrived on set, making her way to the makeup trailer.

She found Margaery, already setting up the workstations. Just when she got to know a slight change in her duties, which now appointed her to Aemond's makeup and costume exclusively, he returned to the trailer with two coffee cups in his hands.

Her insides somersaulted the moment her eyes met his.

A baggy gray tracksuit covered his lean frame, hiding all the musculature. His short, platinum hair - slightly tousled today, starkly contrasted the well-groomed hair she was used to seeing. Even in plain clothes, he looked every bit a royal prince.

"I thought you guys might need a cuppa. It's going to be a long day," he said with an impassive face, handing over the cup to Inara.

And there it was.

That unsought, uninvited feeling in her core that kept resurfacing at the sound of his deep, velvety voice.

A warm, tingling sensation that traveled all the way up to her face, suffusing her golden skin with a tinge of pink.

For a moment, she couldn't believe that the same Aemond, a big star, who snubbed her the other day, now stood before her with an arm outstretched, offering a cup of coffee to her.

"Thank you," she replied in a timid voice, forcing her lips not to curve into a smile but her eyes gave her away.

But when she got only a nonchalant hum in response, that smile from her eyes died too.

Gosh, why is he like this?

Staying quiet, she schooled her features into neutrality while her senior took charge of most of the work. However, each time she assisted in adjusting Aemond's costume or blending the makeup on his face, she could feel his gaze fixed upon her.

As she watched him walk out of the trailer, all primped for his shot, she released a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

"Are you okay?" Margaery asked, breaking her focus from the trailer's door.

"I... yeah," she lied, rubbing a finger on her temple and removing her apron.

"I'm fine, just tired.”

She was lying to herself too, stifling the novel feelings growing inside her. Scolding herself for letting her focus waver over a silly celebrity crush.

Margaery chuckled in response, leaving Inara to wonder if she could see through her façade.

-

Over the next few days, Inara settled into the rhythm of her life in the new city.

And yet, every day when Aemond walked into the make-up trailer, the air inside the room shifted for her, making her nerves fly all over the place.

He wouldn't smile or say anything to her, but she would feel his eyes burn a hole into her face the entire time he sat there.

Everyday, she tried her best not to be intimidated, but her hands betrayed her nervousness, and Margeary would have to step in to correct her flimsy work on Aemond’s face.

She often wondered if he would fire her because of her jittery inefficiency.

And while she struggled to maintain her calm around her, it didn’t escape her notice that whenever a scene was cut or there was a break in filming for touch-ups, Aemond's eyes would seek her out.

“I'm reading too much into things,” a sane voice would counter in her head, reminding herself that everything was strictly professional: an amicable rapport between an employee and employer.

He seeks me out for touch-ups. Yeah, that’s all.

Whatever her unease was, it still was not enough to loosen the pull she felt toward him.

Every day, she found herself drawn to him, discovering a new trait and adding to her understanding of who he was.

Cold, yet inviting. Mysterious, yet an open book for all to read. Quiet, and yet his eyes told a story she was unable to decipher.

As if I could ever..

-

When Margaery called in sick one day, Inara was left solely in charge of the entire makeup session, including on-set touch-ups. The thought of being alone in the makeup trailer with Aemond sent her heart scrambling for composure.

The door of the trailer opened and she practically jumped.

"Dr. Maegyr,” he nodded in acknowledgment.

"Umm..Margaery is not here today, just me. " Inara informed, fiddling with her apron, as she noticed Aemond looking around for Margaery.

A sudden glint appeared in his violet eyes, with a subtle smile gracing his lips.

Did he just smile? At me?

However, the moment the question popped up in her mind, she saw his eyebrows furrow, his expressions turning to one of unsurety and concern.

"Uh..she..called in sick." Fumbling for words, she gestured towards the makeup chair in front of the mirror, asking him to sit. "I spoke to her and prescribed some medication. I'll try my best to finish the look on time. Shall we begin?"

“Hmm.”

As Inara worked on his makeup and prosthetic, her brush slipped, smudging the final touches. She gasped, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment. Reflexively, in an attempt to quickly correct her mistake, she used her finger tips instead of the brush.

Aemond’s eyes flew open at the unexpected touch.

Oh no..no no..

"I'm so sorry," she murmured, her hands shaking, “I did not mean to,” she jerked her hand away from his face.

Aemond noticed her unease, his piercing gaze softening just a fraction. "Are you okay?"

"I... yeah, I... I'm fine," she replied, her voice wavering as she fumbled to find something on the counter, her mind in a whirl.

As she turned to face him again, a commotion erupted outside the trailer. Without warning, Aemond swiftly rose from his seat, towering over her and unintentionally trapping her in a corner against the makeup counter.

What in the..

Inara steadied herself, placing a hand on the counter.

Aemond’s sudden proximity left her breath trapped in her throat. The scent of his leather costume, mingling with his own essence, enveloped her.

Her last coherent thought was of how he always carried a faint scent of coffee and cigarettes, before her mind went numb, abandoning her wildly thumping heart to interpret the torrent of sensations within.

Her eyes remained stubbornly locked with his as she fought the urge to flutter them shut.

Inara watched as his stolid, ethereal Valyrian features softened in slight amusement.

She could feel his exterior guard cracking too, when he placed an arm over her head on the mirror and leaned closer.

Oh God.

“We all make mistakes,” he spoke in a tone she thought she was sure she only heard in a scene of one of his romantic movies

A silky whisper that reverberated through her, sending delicious waves all over.

“There’s nothing to be afraid of,” His other hand moved and stopped near Inara’s hand on the counter.

For a moment, she wondered if her heart now joined the stuck breath in her throat.

“Please don’t fire me,” Inara finally breathed out, still unsure if she had spoken the words aloud or if they were just a regular alarm of anxiety in her head.

Only when Aemond replied, “And why would I let you go, Inara,” dropping his voice to a low murmur and shifting his gaze to her lips, did she realize that she had spoken her thought aloud.

The noise of the hustle and bustle outside began to die down, as Aemond straightened up. Moving away from her, his fingers brushed against her hand, his lips curling into a tender smile.

“I should get going... Are we done here?” His usual business tone was back in a blink of an eye, nudging Inara out of her dream-like daze.

Done? Done with what?

“Yeah... sure... we... we’re done,” she stammered, her gaze shifting from his lips to the floor.

As she watched him walk away from her swiftly, sanity flickered back into her mind.

The moment he stepped out of the door, her knees turned into rubber. She placed one hand on her chest, gripping the counter harder from the other, trying to anchor herself into the physical reality.

What the hell just happened?

The rest of her day slipped by in a blur. Thoughts of what happened in the trailer lingered around her, all the time, teasing her. Caressing her.

It was only when she lay on her bed at night that Aemond’s words resonated in her half asleep mind. Words which she barely registered when he stood so close and the heat of his body seeped into her, tingling each cell of her body.

The same warmth now returned with the memory of his fingers briefly brushing her hand on the counter.

She could almost hear those words in his low, gravely voice -

“And why would I let you go, Inara?”

-x-

Part 5

Taglist: @zenka69

[sga-owns-my-soul]

Hello my lovely! 😊 I've popped back in with another ask of my random atlantis thoughts as I'm going through my rewatch

Idk if it's ever said outright, but I'm pretty sure Teyla is the first friend John's ever had who's been pregnant. Like, he DOES NOT know what to do with her and he's overly protective (which is very sweet but clearly irritating for Teyla)

Bro is TERRIFIED because she's his family! And her baby is his family!! Especially considering the guilt he feels about losing Elizabeth and Carson, of course he's going to be fiercely protective of her!!😭

Sidenote: Ronon found her exercising and she was worried that she wouldn't be able to "keep up" with the rest of the team once the baby was born if she didn't and his response was literally "Who says you have to keep up?" that just 🥺 Literally saying they're going to take care of her no matter what. They're so family I can't 😭😭

john sheppard is afraid of clowns, iratus bugs, and pregnant women and that is fucking canon to me. that man would rather SCALE THE FUCKING TOWER than be around a pregnant woman and i for one think that's fucking hilarious

ALSO i know it was like. Huge Asshole Energy when john grounded teyla from missions but like. all i can think about is how john places the responsibility to keep his team safe 100% on his own shoulders, and i FULLY believe that his team (which is strongest for AR-1 but obviously extends to the whole city) includes the athosians, and by this point they've gone missing, and i really do think john believes he's to blame for it. i think johns harsh reaction was purely fear based- teyla's baby, who very well could end up being the Last Athosian, is at risk because they got shot by stunners. not only is john feeling the guilt from teyla getting stunned, but he now thinks he's putting her baby at risk. of course he freaks out!!!!!! he JUST found out about torren and in the same breath finds out he might've led teyla into a situation where she could lose her baby???????? anyways this was a lot to say yes john 100% sees teyla and torren as family and is SO overprotective of both of them.

also i'm literally never over teyla and ronon's friendship, i LOVE how ronon pivots between beating the shit out of teyla because he knows she'll give it as good as she gets and being the softest most tender soul with her. like the scene where they find out and he holds her hand and congratulates her and asks about kanan 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 IM GONNA SOB AT WORK THEYRE SO god i fucking love teyla and ronon's friendship it's SO fucking good

also you didn't mention this but i'm incapable of talking about teyla's pregnancy without commenting on how obsessed i am with the fact that rodney is the one who delivered her baby. like. i just. it's everything to me i genuinely think it's my favourite thing to happen in the entire show it was the BEST possible decision for the writers to make and i love it it's my favourite thing and i like to think rodney has a special bond with torren bc of it

thank you for the team feels they're Everything

[pterobat]

I’ve realized I’m not as invested in House of the Dragon as I wanted to be, and I mostly feel the strongest emotions when I'm annoyed at other fans— like those who are way, way too invested in the patriarchal ideals of the Seven Kingdoms and those who use the term “girlboss”.

I do enjoy the show, but I'm not feeling strongly except for the dragons.

And I knew dragon material would be minimal, both for budgetary reasons and because the human story is the real meat. But despite the series depending on an Elric homage it turns out I’m just not that interested in high fantasy politicking or that sub-genre in general.

I will say I'm fine with making “teams” out of an ESH narrative, because it’s human nature to make “teams” regardless, and it’s rare to write a story where the author truly sides with nobody—even when their favorite side doesn't "win", the author favors someone.

Funnily, it was GoT that helped me understand that, as I watched this allegedly “neutral” story merely shave away important characters till the true MVPs were left--probably the same ones that GRRM intended.

And while it's hard to believe these days, there was also a time I really did believe the Targaryens were an ironic swipe at stereotypical fantasy and not GRRM's favorite children. Wow.

Anyway, my impression was less that the TV series favored Team Black but that it was doing a slow burn on everything because of adult complexities. The same need to be grounded was why we didn't see the direct aftermath of Luc's death.

And that just because characters don’t literally say things aloud (Daemon sanctioning some child murder) or intend bad things to happen (Ser Steffon getting toasted wasn't on Nyra's order but it was "for her") or point out something is bad (did viewers really think the prophecy was supposed to mean the Targs were the good guys all along?) doesn't mean the narrative’s been sanitized.

However, I was ready for something fun to read when word of Martin's dislike of HotD came out, but when I expected to "popcorn" (remember when that was a verb?) I found out I _could_ get invested.

For some reason (maybe it is her NA aspect) I have a bee in my bonnet about perceiving TV Helaena as less caring simply because of her flat affect, and that was ultimately what this was about.

To be blunt, I don't find the changes to Blood and Cheese to be defanging anything--the original actually seemed a bit over-the-top by comparison.

And I'm having a bit of trouble seeing how what's in the TV series is //not// horrible enough that (WATCH THIS SPACE).

And TV Helaena first offering a necklace--dear God, that doesn't mean she only thinks her kids are worth that much. It's the heaven-forbid-characters-act-irrationally canard again. And freezing up is just as gut-wrenching as breaking down.

In short, I do not see this as the Le Epic Dunk but instead a writer being a bit precious.

I took a lot more issue with Alicent surrendering, since I thought she was the type to double down on her ideals when they start to creak. And sometimes mature storytelling includes characters _refusing_ to change. That is what might cook the show’s goose, but we’ll see in two years.

[tvuniverse]

hello! Do you know of any good source blogs/blogs for 9-1-1, looking for more of that.

hi! i'm probably the worst person to ask this because i follow less than 30 people but i'll try my best.

some of my favourite blogs that are primarily 911: @buckleydiaz, @bilosan, @doeeyeseddie, @saryasy, @diazly, @thatbuddie and some that are a bit more multifandom but still have some 911: @eddiediaaz , @ayo-edebiri , @henwilsons

a few source blogs: @911verse, @911women, @henwilsondaily, @eddiediazsource

If you like knowing what's going on behind the scene and/or just stuff like synopsis, episode titles etc then there's @911bts

there are also a lot of great fan artists and fic writers and gifmakers so try some of the tags like #911edit, #911 fic etc. and if you're god's strongest soldier you can always try the main tags like #911 abc or #911 spoilers or any ship that rocks your boat, but you might come out of it all bloodied and changed as a person so proceed with caution.

[goodluckclove]

dr. peevis how do i write a character heavily based off of myself going through struggles heavily based off my own without feeling the ache of owch owie painful memorys

Ah, memories. Can't live with them, can't live without them, right?

As writers it's natural to be a tortured soul. It's common knowledge that the best art comes not from passion, ideas, or insights - but from having glaring emotional (or psychological [or even physical!]) wounds that we refuse to acknowledge, much less work to heal. But how can we get distance from the pains of our praeteritum tempus without coming to from a fugue state with our clothes torn and bloodied, and a note clutched in our hands with the words YOU DID IT AGAIN, PEEBIS clutched in your trembling fist?

Thank God for the strongest, most dependable implement in any artist's toolbox: a constant state of buzzing delusion, which can be adjusted in intensity depending on the situation.

I'll give you an example by sharing a rare painful memory from my own life. We all have them, don't we? I've felt a lot of the same traumas as you or anyone else here.

For instance, when I was seven years old I woke up on my birthday to discover my mom had finally succumbed to Kepral's Syndrome and perished. My little sister found her body - she was no more than two years old at the time - and immediately went mad, diving immediately down a path for radical political extremism that ended with her dying in a skirmish in Montenegro a year later. My dad was so distraught at the news of his death that he shit and all his bones came out.

I was the one who found him. His last words to me, as his body deflated into a sort of wilted bean bag, were "this seems like your fault, Bover".

Yikes! No wonder I'm such a good writer. But I needed to take a step back to properly explore such strong feelings. I choose to do this through a mantra which I repeat to myself for about six hours every night before I go to sleep.

That mantra is: "My dad is Timothée Chalamet."

The human mind is a flimsy, spongy thing that can easily be altered by most cult leaders or people who work at Trader Joes. All it took was three months of insisting to myself that my dad was the Twink from the worse Dune adaptation, and I'm proud to say that my now my nose bleeds CONSTANTLY.

Hope that helps! Happy writing!

Best,

Dr. Bover J. Chalamet-Peebis