#I'm not even trying to be judgemental
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Pregnancy as a kink makes me uncomfortable so man am I glad your pregg Flug stuff is explicitly not kink oriented!
yeah I... don't wanna judge anyone... but it's more than that, it's downright terrifying to me. Blame my hormones bc I'm expecting irl but wow... I'm very sensitive and it feels dehumanizing. but ig that is kinda the point of the kink(?)
it's so common in fandoms!
I'm completely vanilla anyway tho, so not surprising.
I've tried to pretend for a super long time that I'm into kink, but most of them are off putting and I consider them intrusive thoughts, not fantasies. I'm kinda fluctuating between sex-repulsed and neutral (aroace) even fictional... ig kink just isn't for me. I tried so hard to get over it. I know some people in my asks/requests are gonna be disappointed but I'm sorry💔
I'm slightly ashamed of how boring I am and I have serious trouble connecting to anyone in fandoms due to this actually🤕 feel like the most NT autistic person ever.
anyway here's a doodle!
#that's autism for you#I'm sadly really picky and easily grossed out by things#I'm not even trying to be judgemental#I wish I was such a person that is just chill with everything but I have more icks than likes#so my fandom experience is like 80% discomfort and trying to avoid things without shutting out the majority of content in the first place#from what I heard I seem to have this problem particularly in this fandom bc the series is horror.#and I ship a toxic ship.#but I neither enjoy horror nor this trope. so what the fuck am I doing here#how did I get here. I'm lost guys#but yeah; it naturally attracts more people that are into quite dark or hardcore things#and I'm just sitting here with my soft dick in my hand wondering where it all went wrong#i don't belong here#I can't relate to 99% of people#honestly? I just... like Flug....... I just adore the autistic scientist#and I wanna SMOOCH him but I can't identify too well with myself or thus my sona#so how the fuck am I gonna smooch and love on this man#I need SOME second character for this!!#well Black Hat is pretty cool and easier to draw than the rest; I like his design...#so here we are.#I'm not really in it with my heart. I don't understand the essence of this ship. I'm a fandom blep#that's why a lot of content is probably disturbing and upsetting as hell to me.#but that's just my theroy..... a Joshi™ theory#sorry for rant I am bored and tired😔#enjoy#villainous#villanos#dr flug#kenning flugslys#my art#ask reply
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#proving something. I feel like people are a lot less judgemental than we often think??#was bringing home a soft toy from a thrift store the other day and like.#I'm visibly not a kid right.#people were smiling at meeee or not giving me a second glaaance and a few kids looked delighted to see the soft toy even#anyway!! was curious!!!#listen to my gibberish boy#I know this poll is a little biased but I'm not trying to get an accurate representation of the general population#just!! trying to show that actually people don't need to be so afraid sometimes#if I saw someone carrying around their soft toy in town or on public transport#I would be DELIGHTED... I might even ask what its name is!!!
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When Jack's grandmother went to the hospital, Joke reached out to him and held him hand, made sure he knew he was there.
When Toi Ting was in the hospital, Jack turned his back to Joke in his own worry and didn't reach out at all or even really approach him.
I just want Jack to reach out in the hard moments, not just the ones where he's ready to move forward or to forgive, but the moments when he isn't sure but still sees the man he loves in pain.
#negative#i'm not sure about tagging this#but it really hurt to realize that#joke is constantly reaching out to Jack#and learning more about him#and trying to support him and listen to him#and jack is still the same as ever#he hasn't learned anything about joke except that he loves him#and he doesn't take a moment to check on him in the hospital#he doesn't forgive him for even a second#or hold his judgement#or ask what happened#i really do love this show and the flawed characters#but it feels like Joke has to work on his flaws#while he also has to work on Jack's flaws
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I'm just gonna say it again real quick:
Yes!! Iron Man is a tragedy! It has and always has been since the very first appearance in 1963 which describes itself, Tony's life, and legacy, as such.
Tony causes most of his issues himself, he is his biggest villain, a majority of his rogues gallery are caricatures of the worst versions of himself brought to life (when they're not just being racist cuz...60s...). The worst thing about being Tony Stark is that he can't stop being Tony Stark (he tried!!) That is the point.
The majority of pain Tony goes through, is pain he inflicts on himself, whether intentionally or inadvertently. That is the point.
He is not A villain (at least. Not usually. There are...some rough moments and arcs that are. Not great. As there is with any character as old as he is). But he is his own main antagonist.
#I—just—*slams fists on floor*—I WANNA PUT HIM IN A PIETRI DISH AND VIOLENTLY SHAKE HIM#tony stark#iron man#616 tony stark#marvel#marvel comics#*screams cries throws up* IT'S NOT HIS FAULT HIS CHARACTER WAS ASSASSINATED IN 2005 IN A WAY THAT HASN'T BEEN RECOVERED FROM YET#***starts openly weeping*** if the next main IM series is bad it'll have been 20 years of this shit make it STOOOOOP#being his own antagonist! his actions and mental state and poor judgement calls reaonates with people!!#I'm wildly under qualified to talk about this stuff but#I feel like that's *why* people with mental health issues. self esteem issues. addiction issues. flock to him.#he is not a BAD person. he is a person. who makes mistakes. and devastates himself. and even leaves himself half dead sometimes.#who doubts himself. is simultaneously oversensitive and alarmingly oblivious. he is a mess. that is a fundamental requirement of being him#that. resonates with people. it's *relatable*. Tony Stark is a lightning rod of interest for people...like him. hurting. sad. desperate.#and he brings *enjoyment*. he brings jokes. comfort.#he brings hope#because if a guy like *that* can be *iron man*...maybe we'll all be ok too#it's solidarity but also it's a kick in the right direction. it's saying ''it's ok that this is how you feel. I'm right there with you.''#''but you can't stay here forever. we always need to try''#Iron Man is and always has been about the future. after all.
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horrified to find legendborn fans are commonly referring to the main ships by just saying the characters names sequentially. there's not even a common consensus on which way round, better tag both breenick and nickbree. this is disrespecting the time-honoured tradition of hundreds fandoms before us that paved the way: smashing names together. in a bid to return to our roots, and to make the names less unwieldy, i'd like to propose for your consideration: brelwyn. (i'm not making anything new with that one, i just think it should be standardised.) brick. and brickwyn. bree is always first, as she is the main character, and they flow a lot better. also brick is funny i think.
#i realize brick may cause some tagging issues and for that we have another established practice#brick legendborn#brelwyn#brickwyn#i think those are fine i don't see anyone else trying to claim them#how are we supposed to set a precedent for turning love triangles into throuples if we can't even give them a decent name#anyway i hope the jury hears me and makes a fair judgement. i rest my case.#legendborn#the legendborn cycle#i'm gonna put the long names so the right people see this but rest assured i am not happy about it#selbree#breenick#nickbree#god i feel sick#selbreenick#sel x bree x nick#that's all i can take from ok thank you for your consideration <3
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This is the only time I'm gonna even mention the whole leaking incident and that's it but my reaction to the bits and pieces I stumble upon despite my constant attempts at avoidance is the following:
Various fans: OMG THIS IS TERRIBLE! IT'S FORCED SHOCK VALUE! MY THEORY, MY HEADCANONS, ETC.
Me: Now hold up, let 'em cook... Like really let 'em cook!
#starchild rambles#ramblings#hazbin hotel#if you know you know#i've been trying to avoid them like the plague#idk if the stuff that was leaked is gonna even happen but I'd like to see where this goes tbh#honestly a lot of the backlash feels less like legitimate complaints and more like tantrums that their theories possibly won't be canon#they could be right to be fair but I'm gonna hold my judgement on whether it's bad or now#but yeah...#to the asshole leaker: eat shit and you deserved jail time#all in all I'm very intrigued!
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Thinking about girlfriend,,,, Girlfriend pretty and sweet,,,I just wanna cuddle and kiss her-
#pan gushes#I'm still all flustered over calling hwr my gf-afnsnfnd#(Though technically it would be wifeypon since Shulk is also Wifeypon by xb3 but shshshhh I'm still too flustered for that!)#👉👈 That's all I wanted to say#I just love her a lot#f/o: 🪽#I think the rest of the night I'll watch judgement. Maybe play some O.ctopath#(Speaking of judgement. Yes I saw that ask that was sent to me <3 Give me a while longer to respond though-#I get too AFKSBFKDNKF While reading it that I can't even write a proper response. I'll try to respond by today though ^^)
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ok i'm almost done with the new firmament chapter, i have So Many thoughts 👀
#keeping my thoughts in the tags bc it's late and this in not going to be very coherent#positive thing first: i did enjoy the lore!! i'm a sucker for lore dumps and i love to connect dots so it was a very fun read to me#that said. it was fun but also convoluted af in some points so i saved everything in the journal to analyse it#after the entirety of firmament comes out. i have Many Thoughts about the shames mention and the judgements#but i have Zero Braincells to elaborate them. they're all going in the red string board until further notice#one thing i did NOT vibe with were the christian references but you all know that about me by now#i'm just trying to appreciate the funky cosmic horror vibe here i don't need a gloria in excelsis deo reference#(i understand it conveys a specific vibe but. there are many other things that can do that)#talking from a character pov this chapter was SO PERFECT for my guy's own flavour of insanity. drowning him in violant forever >:)#also. he wasn't happy about erasing the prisoner's memories. he understood it was necessary but he didn't like to destroy them#(i ended up leaving him with Love)#speaking of the prisoner. what the fuck is going on with him. i need to study him under a microscope#(and reread everything when i have more braincells)#i'm also very glad to finally have a bit more info about the vulgate and the apocryphal realities#this chapter answered a few questions and i hope the nex one will answer even more#tldr: very cool lore even if it was Confusing AF sometimes (but we still have more chaoters to read so we'll see)#+ i love zenith so fucking much it's my favourite roof location so far!! psychic damaging memory beam city <333#anyway goodnight#fl spoilers#chitchat
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guess who had to get dragged out of the distillery, practically hanging onto their body by a thread. again.
#placeholder art tag#dead cells#dead cells oc#charybdis knows about the whole “unable to truly die” thing (being in the same boat itself ofc)#but it'll still try to prevent the deaths of its fellow firey-headed travellers if possible. even despite its better judgement. lmao#oh yea also i'm changing its design a little (goodbye left arm! deoxys gen 3-4 sprite moment)#side note i really need to get faster at drawing LMAO this took way too long. also need to learn how to backgrounds. but i don't WANNA :(
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feeling a little sentimental in this chilis so i just wanted to thank everyone on here ( specifically my girl gayng ) for supporting my weird creative style girl au endeavors no matter how strange or odd, my capricious posting and what is probably the constant chaotic presentation of what is intense bipolar and prolly undiagnosed adhd. not all heroes wear capes and thank you for your service. <3
#nina speaks#sorry its so weird on here#but i am happy here it keeps me grounded#i'm sorry i don't really post or write#and constantly cycle through new concepts#but its important to me that i just write and create what feels right to me and only do that when i want to#and so far this experience has been very therapeutic to me#i spent so long living or rather dying for everyone else it is nice to try and live...for myself and take care of myself#and try to enjoy making stuff and my life again#without fear of judgement or any obligations...but regardless tysm for being along for the ride and i hope my brain thrills you#i know its not always consistent as far as postage goes or even just subject matter but i do try to deliver interesting stuff#all this to say i love you and thank you for liking my weird stuff#i love you very much you are all my angels
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#they speak!#it's probably just the illness that's making me extra irritable but like.#roommate kept coming up to me this morning going oh did i wake you up? i'm sorry if i did. did i do that or no? i'm really sorry.#and i kept telling him to stop saying sorry because i didn't have the brain power to phrase#'you could've been more considerate of your volume but you also have the right to use the common space so it's whatever'#but he said it to me again before i went to my room just now and it's like. ok. shut up.#if you actually cared that much u would've just been quieter in the first place actually.#anyways. annoyed. there were some annoying customers in the store today but it was whatever.#i feel like my fucks to give had already worn out with all the ppl in my social circle/my parents and the recent ongoings of that#[redacted] was being passive aggressive to me in the group chat and it's like. ok! idk what u want from me.#and i'm grateful for them for coming over and helping me with cleaning last week#and it's those sorts of actions that let me know they care and want good things for me#but like. i haaaate telling them anything because even innocuous non-private things get turned into judgement with them.#also. more and more i can feel how i'm drifting away from h and now with retrospect i can see how we mutually hurt each other :)#i keep coming back to this one period where i really wanted to take them to try dimsum and they kept saying they were too scared to try it#and in their new friend group they regularly go out n get dimsum together. which on the surface is like. why didn't you want to go with /me#i told you i wanted to share what i liked and i would explain what things were and i could do the talking and you still said no#but it's also very much a reflection of how i always rolled over and enabled them. i never challenged them. i was always passive.#i also feel like i'm heavily neglecting e and a recently and i can tell how the physical distance is affecting us and idk. it's weird.#anyways. another post that should've been a journal entry! lol!#when [redacted] helped with cleaning they also buried my journal under my like#300 packets of sesame candies and i can't be bothered to dig it out. also my bandaids are missing now. <3#ik this also sounds passive aggressive but genuinely appreciate the help i just kinda hate how they think hidin everything in boxes is good#'we need to get you some more storage boxes and containers!!' actually i think that will be the opposite of helpful.#i need everything visible and on open surfaces so i can 1) remember they exist for me to use and 2) not have barriers for me to get to them
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I've finally finished my first boss for my demon hunting game Judgement Nights! A guard dog for a much stronger demon, Grub keeps their secret safe and hidden from all mortal or demonic eyes
#I hope the notes help to understand what I was trying to go for hehe#Judgement Nights as a system hasn't really been tested by players yet. Just me.#I haven't played enough ttrpgs to know if something like this has been done before or not but something like it probably does lmao#think original fallouts if all of your allies shared one turn instead of being sorted into a turn order. If it was all just your guy's turn#And you had to balance using your AP wisely because whatevers left over you can use to counter the opponents turn!!#I hope that makes some sense I've been writing for a minute now and am kinda tired I'll probably go more in depth in another post#this post was supposed to be abt Grub but now its abt the combat as a whole woopsie :3#Grub needs just a bit more polish but I'm really happy I've gotten this far. Used to kinda be a far out idea but now that a Demons characte#sheet is right in front of me it feels almost surreal#First time designing a Tabletop game from the ground up and not basing it off an existing ip/ converting a video game into a tabletop#(even though its still very video game inspired taking a good bit from Devil May Cry)#indie ttrpg#Judgement Nights#ttrpg
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Occasionally loveposting about Nada on main instead of my selfship sideblog for me is the equivalent of firing a gun into the air to keep rent down. We're feral about fictional characters here, real ones only please!
#thorn talks#listen when you've been in love with a character since 2016 you just. you just kinda start caring less and less about judgement online 👍#on that sideblog i'll like. censor character names and whatever so stuff doesn't get in the main tags#but why even try to hide the fact that a character means a lot to me? doesn't exactly hurt anyone#i'm greyaroace and like 99% of the time. the only attraction i feel is towards fictional characters#i don't know why and it isn't damaging to my wellbeing but i've still been quiet about it in the past because#people will be like 'clearly this is a mental health problem' [uses it as an excuse to be ableist but claims to be 'protecting people']#fictosexuality is something that very much applies to me and despite what some people think it is not a choice or preference#it's not a case of 'i can't find a real partner so i settle for liking a fictional character'#if it was possible then i would choose to experience more attraction to real people. but i can't so there's no point shaming myself for it
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// I'm getting the department transfer i wanted finally. I don't need to stay sitting right beside the racist woman that called me fat and is passive aggressive to me all the time anymore.
#˗ˏˋ ooc. ⟶ ❛ faded reflections ❜#Finally some good news#This person talks so much that I was like socially drained every time I left work#And she is judgemental and gets on me for not being femme enough (I'm transmasc enby but can't present entirely open)#Called me fat#And nitpicks everything I do including trying to look at my phone when I'm on it#And she doesn't even help at work and ignores customers#I've been doing twice the amount of work as her while she acts like she's better than me all the time#And makes me feel shitty#I'm so happy I won't have to sit next to her anymore#I'm so glad my current manager saw how toxic she was#cw personal#Cw negative#I am nervous about learning a new position but it's less customer focused so it should be better
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#the jhea content... I'm not into it guys#I wish wwe would stop pushing that#I'm upset with jey's character in general- but to add this??#ugh#yet another reason I'm not watching the current era#delete later#and stop trying to make dom/rhea the next eddie/chyna#I can't stand it#🙄🙄🙄#sorry folks#it's just not it for me#I'm not even much of a rhea fan anymore#I liked her before the judgement day and all this#ughhh#ughhhhhhhhh
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I don't know much about quicksilver but I WOULD like to know what on earth happened here
#x men#quicksilver#what was the thought process#like genuinely#I'm not even trying to be judgemental I just want to know
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