#I'm not Satisfied with This Answer || Inbox Responses

[hederasgarden]

Can I get "Don't be shy now, sit on my face" with the cowboy himself, Mr. Tyler Owens?

BESTIE. The scream I scrumpt.  Thanks to @a-reader-and-a-writer for the mechanical bull idea. This is long because I am incapable of responding to a request in 100 words apparently.

Pairing: Tyler Owens x F!Reader Word Count: 569 Warnings: Explicit sexual content, 18+ only. Oral (female receiving) and face sitting. Please comment or reblog if you enjoyed this and want to see more. Or scream at me in my inbox. That always makes my day.

Masterlist ♡ Glen Powell Character Masterlist

"And this is supposed to help me ride the mechanical bull how exactly?" you question with your knees planted on either side of Tyler's chest.

"Just trust me, sweetheart."

“That's not an answer," you tell him archly. 

He tilts his head back to look up at you. "Have I ever steered you wrong?"

"No...I'm just a bit nervous,” you admit.

He gazes steadily at you, and the way he rubs his hands up and down your thighs is both soothing and reassuring. "Well, you know what I like to say....you don't face your fears, you ride them."

You stare down at him, unamused. He grins back at you.

"Come on little lady, belly up to the bar," he encourages, cupping your ass and yanking you forward until the most intimate part of you is only inches away from his face. 

Embarrassment burns under your skin, and you fight the urge to shift away. This close, Tyler's bound to see every little imperfection, and it’s made worse by the fact that he’s practically perfect himself. Sometimes just looking at him could overwhelm you, not to mention what happened when he took his shirt off.

"Come on," he encourages softly.

Hesitantly, you lower yourself over him until he can nose at your folds. You grip the headboard and shift experimentally, inhaling sharply when Tyler drags the flat of his tongue through your center. Your thighs tense and he does it again, letting out a low, satisfied little hum that has you clenching around nothing. 

For a few minutes, Tyler seems content just to taste and tease you with soft, sweeping motions.  Slowly, you feel yourself begin to relax, some of the tension leaving your thighs. When you settle more firmly against him, he groans in response, his fingers flexing against your skin. You close your eyes and rock your hips forward, the world narrowing to the feel of his tongue in your cunt and his nose brushing against your clit. 

"Tyler," you moan. 

He groans in response, fingertips digging into your skin as his tongue spears into you. The messy way he eats you out is so loud that you’d be embarrassed if it weren’t for how good it makes you feel. Gone is any hesitation on your part as you ride his face in earnest. You grasp his hair and pull, desperate to have him even closer.

The beginning of your orgasm sparks to life in your belly, the rough drag of his tongue over your clit fanning the embers. Your hips move of their own accord, your body chasing what it needs. When your orgasm washes over you Tyler doesn’t stop, holding you still as he drinks greedily from your cunt. By the time he’s done with you, your thighs are trembling, and your breath comes in quick, uneven gasps.

“Oh my god.”

“It’s Tyler,” he reminds you with a smirk. You watch him wipe his mouth with the back of his hand, his chest heaving as he catches his breath. He’s flush and his hair is tousled from your grip. But above all, he looks satisfied. 

“That was good, sweetheart. Real good.”

All you can manage is a thumbs up in response, your head hanging forward. “So,” you begin, “are you going to tell me now what that had to do with bull riding.”

“Not a goddamn thing,” he says with the biggest grin you’ve seen.

Send me a request

[vendetta-if]

I sent this aske awhile ago, but I guess it got lost, so I'll send it again.

Considering the MC keeps and even still wears the matching rings, they gave Victor as a kid.

I'm curious how the LIs react if the MC used one of those rings to propose to them?

Although the Ash and Rin poly MC would probably offer both their dad's and their own ring, I'm not sure if MC would propose to them both at once or do a more personal one for each of them?

Sorry, asks usually get buried and I occasionally try my best to sometimes dig through my inbox and answer some of the older ones 😣😔

Ash

They would say no at first because they know how much it means to MC. After all, they helped MC get it and was there when MC gave it to Viktor for Father’s Day.

They would try to convince MC that they don’t need to do this and that MC can just get them another simple band/ring for them. It doesn’t have to be the one with such profound sentiment for MC.

If MC insists, then they’ll accept it gingerly and they’ll wear it everyday; they promise to take care of it with their life.

Rin

Similar to Ash, they’d be very hesitant. They are also aware of the importance of the ring to MC. They promise, they’d be satisfied with any other “normal” rings MC get them. Just stick with the classic gold or diamond ring.

But if MC insists, they’ll accept it hesitantly but deep inside, they are actually really touched. Sure, physically, the ring might be cheap and made out of simple stainless steel, but what matters of course is the meaning it holds for MC, and that itself makes it more valuable than any other rings on earth. There’s nothing like it.

For MC to entrust it to them, is a symbol of pure and utmost trust and loyalty MC has for them and they will repay it tenfold.

Santana

Honestly, as sweet as the gesture may be, it might not be the best for Santana. Viktor’s ring, being the only thing that Viktor really cherished that he had access to near the end of his life… It’s safe to assume that it’s imbued with the strong memory and emotions of what Viktor felt and went through that fateful night that just won’t go away even after years.

Their biggest concern is they can accidentally trigger it, especially when they are just tired or down, and they would feel like it would be such a violation of privacy somehow. Not to mention the intense feeling and trauma as well.

So, they’d probably try to say no and decline, and ask MC for just a simple ring or any other ring. But if MC still insists, they’ll take it, especially because they don’t want to hurt MC’s feelings and they love MC and if they accidentally triggered the memory in the future, they’ll just have to endure it like always.

Skylar

Whoa, are you sure MC? It’s rare for them to feel unsure, but they definitely are right now, and it’s all because of this simple band of ring that MC presents to them.

This is one of a kind ring, MC, and nothing in this world will be able to replace it and all the memories that clings to it. This is a big responsibility and not something to trifle with, but at the same time, this is also a symbol of trust and devotion MC has for them and they are just overwhelmed with joy.

They’ll accept it and they swear they won’t ever take it off. Not long after that, suddenly, a simple black ring is in fashion in the city, especially when worn in a chain around the neck 😭

[gowns]

from time to time i think about how people used to ask me for advice on this blog... i was young and still figuring things out, and i thought it was funny that people asked me for advice. but it's like: you open a conduit one way, and more things start flowing that way. so the asks kept coming in. people are very mimetic.

i feel Older and Wiser now, and might be able to give better advice, but more of my writing is private, my blogging more sporadic... (i am still an external processor in many ways, but at least i have close deep friendships, and i can process with them instead of on a blog.)

there came a point when people started to get weird with me -- the asks got more invasive, spiky, cagey. so i had to close down my inbox

it's open again, but maybe i've done a good job with setting boundaries with strangers, hahaha. there's no pile of messages waiting for me. tbh, i feel like most of the quandaries i used to get, now people could just make a throwaway account on reddit and make a post there. polling a large group of people seems to make more sense than just asking one writer; trying to account for subjectivity and the multiplicity of human behavior and thought...

--

outside of my own experience, i have thought a lot about the concept of "asking for advice"; the concept of "externally processing" (via blogging, therapy, talking to friends, publishing writing, etc etc); the more codified concept of an "advice column" and the wise "advice columnist." the advice column is kinda old-school at this point, and most of them today seem to exist as clickbait to drive people to the comment section, where everyone can put in their two cents on the letter writer and the competency of the advice-giver.

polling the audience. that's a modern thing, too -- quite recent that we could all conduct polls. like, legit, easy polls. when you want to find out people's opinions, and they'll easily give it to you if they don't have to talk or type, they just hit a button. hit this button if you like this food. hit this button if i'm right. if i'm not right, explain.

it's quick and to the point...

--

in "a field guide to getting lost," rebecca solnit brings up an interesting fact that people didn't used to get as lost as people get today. like, there's a lot more search and rescue expeditions today than there used to be. outside of population growth and etc, she said it's likely because of a few factors: people used to be more aware of their surroundings, and their schedules weren't as packed, so they had a slower pace of doing things. people could meander. they weren't worried, they'd find their way home eventually (and in the meantime, they knew more about the flora and fauna, what to eat, and so on). people who get lost today tend to freak out and get themselves more lost, or into more dangerous situations.

thinking about that in relation to the way that people relate to each other and communicate today... the idea of writing someone a letter for advice and waiting a few weeks to hear a response sounds useless. everyone needs an immediate response to everything.

on one hand, it's neat that i can get an immediate response to almost any query i have -- google, wikipedia, polling the audience, texting friends. I Am a Conduit for Information

on the other hand, if the immediate response is incorrect... or only a partial response... or nothing comes up... i tend to feel like a broken computer. come on! obtain the information! complete the task!

and there are many things which will not be easily answered and processed right away. there are a lot of things you have to sit and chew on. hold in your pocket for a while.

this is very frustrating

i just want the answers

--

ask / answer ask / answer ask / answer

answer a person's question, and they will be satisfied for only a moment. teach them how to ask and answer their own questions... and they will likely never be satisfied, but hey, it's good practice

we have to get lost and meander

[strawberryfairi]

Don't be tired strawberry🥹❤️‍🔥We waited a long time for Kazutora fiction🥹😭😭😭 I check the page every day to see an update🫠 please update

“I loved you then…back when I knew you”

Synopsis: 💎 When your old high school best friend, and admittedly, first love randomly shows up at your door one morning after a bit over ten years apart, your memories of him that you once locked away comes flooding back. Are you open to hearing him out after all this time? (In other words…will you take your man back or nah?)

♕Pairings: Kazutora X Black Fem Reader🤎 (ANYONE CAN READ)🛑Content: 18+ Eventual smut, Some grief, Some angst ~Crossposted On: Wattpad & Ao3

w.c. 3.4k💠 Released June 5, 2024

❤︎ AUTHORS NOTE🧚🏾‍♀️: I..am...SO...SORRY😭😭 Not even gonna lie y'all, I have been STRUGGLING with this story oh my gosh. I had such a great flow with it before like ideas where just coming left and right. But it's not even like I don't know where I wanna take the rest of the story, it's the EXECUTION that's irking me😤 But y'all have been in my inbox motivating the CRAP outta me and so here's chapter 13! And...I'm finally giving y'all the SMUT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR AAAHHHH!!!! But yeah in conclusion, lowkey struggling with this, I love y'all, and hopefully this chapter isn't absolute garbaggio🫠

C.W.: Smut (love-making kind of smut, nothing crazy...yet😏🙂‍↔️)

Previous | Next Chapter: Pending…. Chapters Masterlist

CHAPTER 13; FIRST TIME

Kazutora gently places you down on your plush bed, hovering over you and planting soft kisses along your jawline and neck. You reach for one of his hands, going to place it on your waist, but you pause, noticing the way it was shaking. With furrowed brows you gently stop him, cupping his face with your other hand to make him look at you.

"Your hands are shaking. Are you nervous?" You ask softly. Somehow his face manages to shade an even deeper reddish pink. "I feel...a lot. I don't know what to do." He admits hesitantly.

"Is this too much?" You tilt your head slightly.

"No! No, I just-..I don't wanna be...bad. I don't wanna hurt you." He answers apprehensively, frowning a little.

"Bad?! There's no way you'd be bad, K; and you're not gonna hurt me." You chuckle softly.

"But I've never done this before..." He mumbles.

Your expression softens even further at his innocent words. Skillfully you roll over, straddling his waist like before. "That doesn't matter. You'll learn as we go; there's no rush." You assure, giving him a sweet, little smile.

Kazutora swallows nervously, yet nods nonetheless, cueing you to continue. You make your way off of his lap, standing in front of him and watching with a curious gaze as he props himself up with his elbows. You take the straps of your dress off, then tug on it a bit, letting it fall around your feet. Cutesy, light green laced panties are followed after your dress, your heart pounding as you slowly step out of each garment.

A wave of nervousness shoots through your body as you hear no response from Kazutora. But then, as you look up, you can't help the small laugh that escapes passed your lips at his expression. His mouth keeps opening and closing slightly yet not a single word comes from him. His honey colored eyes are wide, with his cheeks flaming red like a stop sign. You shake your head a little, holding back a few stray chuckles of amusement as you make your way back onto his lap, placing your hands on his shoulders for support. "Well, don't leave me hangin'. Tell me what you think." You urge in a soft tone. Kazutora clears his throat a bit, silently urging his lips to finally move.

"I-I..I think-..I think you look really pretty; and beautiful." He stutters badly, his focus all over the place. His eyes could barely stay on one thing, shifting all over your body from bottom to top. You grin, satisfied with his genuine answer, and lean in giving him a short peck on the lips. "Thank you." You murmur, and add another short kiss.

"Help me take this off." You tell him, reaching between the two of you and undoing the button of his pants. Cutely, Kazutora sucks in a breath but nods anyway, shakily helping you get both his pants and boxers off. He lets out a noise close to a whimper as his hard length springs up immediately, almost begging for attention. "You're perfect." You murmur lovingly. Your eyes sparkle as you look at him, taking in every inch of him while he simply looks up at you, biting his lip nervously.

You hop off his lap, and slowly get onto your knees in front of him. "Wai-wait!" He blurts out breathlessly, the realization of what you were doing instantly registering to him. "I just wanna try somethin'..." You soothe with a light laugh, gingerly taking his pretty shaft in your hand by the base. Licking your lips, you make them perfectly moist, giving his tip a gentle kiss. He visibly shudders, eyes closing tightly while his hands clench into fists at his sides.

"I want you to watch me, ok?" You hum, brushing your plump lips along the length of him. A choked out moan was all you got in return as he struggles to open his eyes. "You're so cute." You grin in amusement. You swirl your warm tongue around his tip, then take his length fully into your mouth. Kazutora gasps then lets out a drawn out, deep moan, looking down at you absolutely shook.

You set a medium pace, bobbing your head up and down, your soft hand stroking the rest of his length. "O-oh fuuck..." He moans airily, throwing his head back, but you pull away instantly at that. "Look at me, Kazutora." You remind him with a faux disappointed frown. He lifts his head, eyes half-lidded and drunk from pleasure. He gives you a lazy nod, taking his bottom lip between his teeth while he locks eyes with you. That look on his face would forever be engraved into your mind.

Before you wrap your lips around his shaft again you give him long strokes with your hand. "Does it feel good?" You ask sensually.

"Mhm." He nods, his eyes burning with lust.

"Then say it." You demand softly, giving him one long drag of your tongue up his shaft. You finally replace your hand with your mouth, bobbing your head up and down a bit faster than before. "'S so..good." He gasps blissfully, eyes fluttering as he struggles to keep them locked on you. Using your free hand, you reach between your thighs, rubbing light circles on your clit to ease some of the built up tension. You were ridiculously wet.

"Wait...w-wait! I-I'm gonna cum!" He chokes out nervously, his voice tipping to the louder side. With a light moan you hesitantly come to a stop, not wanting him to cum just yet. Kazutora catches his breath as you come up off the floor, easing back onto his lap and giving him another passionate kiss. Then you trail your way to his jaw, and to his neck, sucking gently until a love bite forms on the surface of his skin.

"I want you to teach me how to eat you out." He murmurs through the silence, and without stuttering for once which surprised you a bit. You open your eyes, looking to the side in thought for a second, thinking it over. Slowly you pull your lips from his neck, meeting his gaze as your eyes sparkle excitedly. "Hmm, I'll teach you that later" You state with a hint of playfulness, "I'd rather just ride you instead."

Reaching between you two, you grab his hard dick, slowly running his tip back and forth between your soaking wet folds. "You want that too?" You ask boldly, looking him in the eyes with a fiery gaze. "Yeah." He nods his head instantly, leaning in close enough for his lips to just barely brush against yours. Then he desperately whispers "Please fuck me."

You stutter in your movements, eyes widening for just a split second. You weren't expecting that kind of response from him, but regardless it sent an intense jolt of electricity down your spine, and butterflies erupted in your stomach. Without another word you slowly lower yourself down, his wet tip easily sliding inside of you thanks to how soaked you are. The both of you moan in perfect unison, basking in the feeling of him stretching out your walls, as he basks in the way your tight walls grip him. Kazutora's hands reach for your hips, holding you firmly while abruptly pulling you the rest of the way down.

"Oh!" You cry loudly, a deep gasp leaves your lips at the sudden way he fills you up. He gasps as well, looking at you with intense worry.

"I'm so sorry! Did that hurt?!" He stammers.

"Mm mm, I was just surprised. You feel perfect." You moan in response, shaking your head. You place your hands on his shoulders for support, slowly lifting yourself up and down along his thick length. "Ughh, shit!" He cusses, "Feels so good." With a hand he reaches up, dragging it through his hair and gripping just a bit. Then, you lower Kazutora down onto the bed, opting for using his chest instead as you start to bounce a little faster.

He feels like he's drowning in ecstasy. The sounds your making, from your pretty moans to the dirty, lewd noises your wet pussy makes creaming all over his dick. It was too much, too much yet not enough all at the same time. With his free hand he grabs your forearm, pulling you down so your lips meet, kissing you with fiery passion.

The two of you moan into each others mouths, the sound vibrating against your lips. His arms wrap around your back, holding you in place against him. You feel your legs start to shake as he brings his hips up to collide with yours halfway, unknowingly hitting that sweet spot deep inside you with each thrust. You pull away from the kiss, crying out in pleasure. "Uugh! Right there!"

Kazutora figures your response was a good sign he was making you feel as good as you're making him feel, so he keeps it up for as long as he can. He knows in the back of his mind that he won't last much longer.

He feels your tight walls clench around him,  gripping so perfectly. He can't take it. "I'm gonna cum." He announces breathily, just second before he reaches the edge. His eyes go wide as you keep bouncing, nearly making his vision blurry while his cum shoots inside you. You lean up, resting your hands back on his chest, chasing your own high. You really didn't care that he came inside. He can't believe it...

Your moans become louder and whinier, and your shaky legs make it harder to keep your pace steady. He watches in a daze as you say his name over and over, throwing your head back in ecstasy. Then you make the most prettiest expression. Your brows crease tightly together with your eyes slightly teary, and your lips parted into an O. A beautiful, whispery moan echoes all through his ears as you reach your orgasm, looking like a goddess on top of him as your cum coats his overstimulated dick. You slow your bouncing to a stop, riding yourself through the orgasm until your breathing becomes steady enough.

Your eyes meet his, and you couldn't help but let out a little laugh. He looks so out of it, eyes completely glossed over as he stares at you. "You good down there?" You ask playfully, leaning down and planting a gentle peck on his lips. All he could manage was a little nod in response, his mind still trying to reconnect with reality.

Helping him out a little you gingerly slide off of him, getting under the sheets since the cool air was starting to give you goosebumps. "Come on." You tap his forehead with your pointer finger, urging him to join you. This finally snaps him out of it, and he happily makes his way next to you under the covers.

His heart flutters in his chest as you rest your head on his chest, nuzzling lovingly against him. "Are you...happy?" He asks in a hushed tone. Unintentionally your head tilts to the side, brows slightly furrowing as his question catches you off guard. Now that you think about it, you realize you've never really been asked something like this by, well, a significant other (or whatever Kazutora is to you at this point). "Yeah. I'm really happy." You smile softly, nuzzling against his chest once more, then you ask "Are you happy?"

"I think..this is the happiest I've ever been in my whole life. I feel so many different things at a time." He admits with a little smile, chuckling cutely as he wraps his strong arms around you.

"Me too. It's been overwhelming since you popped up at my door, but in a good way. I'm glad you're back with me now." You giggle airily.

"Well now that I'm here, with you like this, does this mean I could be with you all the time?" He asks apprehensively.

"All the time?"

"I just meant-...I mean I wondering if, you know, we could be more than friends now?" He questions bashfully.

His stammering was adorable, making your heart flutter a bit in your chest. "I had figured by the time you asked me on a date, and ended up naked in my bed with me afterwards that we're already more than friends." You reply in a playful tone, raising a brow.

"Oh, yeah that's true..." He chuckles awkwardly, looking over to the side. You lean up a bit and give him a gentle kiss on the cheek. "I think a lot has happened between us in a really short amount of time. There's lots of excitement, and I wanna be able to experience all kinds of things together with you, but we should try-emphasis on try- to take things at a..slower pace."

You weren't sure that what you were trying to say was actually making it across to him. You just figured that you probably shouldn't overwhelm him with too much, since he's definitely brand new to all things romance. It'd be a lie to say you were considering that fact upon inviting him over. Your mind was honestly on sex and just being close to him overall, but now with hindsight in the mix, you didn't want him to feel pressured to move fast.

Kazutora's eyes shift to the side for a moment, before he asks with a bit of a shy laugh, "...How slow?"

"Slow enough so that we don't end up rushing each other into things. I really..." You trail off, stopping yourself so that you don't end up saying the wrong thing. "I really...like you; obviously. I've liked you for a long time. I just don't wanna ruin anything, you know?"

"Ruin? You could never ruin anything-

"You don't know that, K. It's different being friends and being more. We should learn about each other first; it's been literally like a decade since you've last been around me. I'm different from back then."

"....Are you scared I'll ruin things again?" He asks somberly, unable to even look at you anymore.

"No! No, I'm not trying to say that at all. I'm-...I'm saying let's just try not to get too ahead of ourselves, ok? Because I really want things to work out between us as more than friends. I think I'd really like to eventually be your girlfriend." You admit with a hint of a smile. Kazutora's entire countenance lights up at that last part, wrapping his arms around you tightly and nuzzling his face against you.

"Me too." He murmurs happily.

The light of sunrise poured into the bedroom through the cracks of the thick curtains, shining down along Kazutora's cheekbone and eyelid. His brows furrow a little, before his eyes slowly begin to open, and he quickly realizes he's not in his own bed. His cheeks shade deep reddish pink as the memories come crashing in all at once.

"That really happened..." He whispers to himself with a small smile. But then, as fast as the happiness came, it vanished in a heartbeat as he looks to what was your side of the bed.

You aren't there...

He sits up, letting the sheets pile around his waist as he looks around for any sign of you. Your connected bathroom was wide open, and the lights are out so you definitely weren't in there. There's no note from you letting him know you went out, so that's out of the question...

Those were the only two realistic, rational ideas that came to his mind before the paranoia immediately took over the drivers seat. Wild thoughts start roaming around frantically in his head.

What if she didn't like it?

She doesn't wanna be with me..

Did she lie?

Why isn't she here?

She hates me...

His heart sinks heavily in his chest as though it weighed two tons. Tossing the sheets to the side haphazardly he gets out of the bed, beginning his search around for you.

He walks out of the bedroom and into the hallway, stumbling across your laundry room and guest bedroom, unfortunately not finding you in either one. Your apartment was only but so big, so by the time he searched every area he came across he was at a loss. With one last area to check he rounds the corner to what leads to your living room, simultaneously coming into contact with a fairly soft yet solid surface.

"Ooh!" You squeal, jumping back and placing a hand on your chest. "You scared the crap outta me!" You chuckle.

"I couldn't find you! I was looking for you all this time!" He stresses with a heavy frown. "Oh, I was just in the kitchen." You inform plainly, pointing behind you with a thumb, and a semi-concerned look on your face. He doesn't really seem to like that response, as the expression he gives you looks even more upset than before.

"What's wrong?!" You ask, genuinely getting a little freaked out by how flustered he look.

"Why weren't you with me?" He asks softly, looking a bit like a little kid.

"I just didn't wanna wake you up! I was trynna do the whole cute wake you up to breakfast thing." You explain.

Your heart clenches in your chest, feeling terrible now as he looks like he's damn near about to cry. "Oh my gosh, I'm sorry. I was not trying to freak you out like this." You coo softly, going over and wrapping your arms around him for a loving hug.

"I thought you left me..." He mumbles into your shoulder.

"You thought I left you? K, that's  really interesting 'cause...how imma leave you and it's my own apartment?" You answer, chuckling lightly as you try to make light of the situation. A wave of realization washes over his face, then it quickly morphs into embarrassment as he becomes fully aware of just how silly it was to think you abandoned him.

"Right? That part. 'Cause we can't be stressing like this at eight in the morning." You laugh along, shaking your head a bit. "Sorry. I don't know why I didn't think of that." He chuckles nervously, his cheeks turning a dusty pink.

"It's ok. I mean, it's a little cute." You smile lightly, poking his nose. "Anyways, go and sit down, breakfast is almost ready; I made an American breakfast!" You grin proudly. You were so glad your mom had stopped by a few weeks ago and brought you a bunch of goods from when she had visited the states for work. Today you made grits, eggs, biscuits, and some fried catfish that you miraculously found in the grocery store just a town over. Man, you missed fried fish...

"You made some for me too?" His brows raise in genuine astonishment as he takes a seat.

At first you wanted to ask what the heck he meant by that, and why he looks so shocked by that. But instead you sigh, thinking back to when you unintentionally found out a bit about his past with his family. It makes perfect sense why he'd react like that keeping that little fact in mind. Even just a bit ago when he was freaking out over not being able to find you highly likely has to do with his relationship with his parents as well.

It's probably that... You think to yourself briefly.

"Absolutely I did, and we're gonna eat it together right at this table." You grin, watching as his cute wide eyes practically sparkle up at you before turning back to your cooking task.

"We need some music!" You say abruptly, and a bit loudly, before going and turning on some music through the tv in the living room.

It's the perfect atmosphere. Some good food, company, and music. Something Kazutora hasn't experienced in so long he can't even remember the last time he was like this with someone close to him. "This is really good!" He beams, taking another large bite out of his breakfast.

"I'm glad you like it. You're over here eatin' like it's going somewhere." You chuckle, watching as he tears through his plate. He'll definitely be done before you're even halfway through.

"Do you have any plans for the rest of the day?" You ask plainly. "Plans? I have work later in the afternoon at the pet shop." He shrugs.

"Oh yeah, you're working at a pet shop! I'll have to come and do a surprise visit one day." You reply with a nod of finality, making a mental note to do that some time soon.

"Yeah! I can show you all the cute cats and dogs we have!" He smiles brightly.

A/N🧚🏾‍♀️: Lowkey hate this chapter...lowkey. But I'll have more for you soon!

[awordsmith]

*sigh* I'm not being a bully. you literally copy-pasted everything from another blog, wrote a fic about it when they called you out on it, then deleted it. how does it feel to be so infinitely immature?

Honestly, I didn’t expect you to return to my page, look through my posts, and message my inbox again. Now, I could be mature about this and ignore you, but as I am still 18, my sense of pride is bigger than my maturity level–I can acknowledge that. 

I feel like I have to explain myself, so I’m going to address everything I’ve gathered from this message and reply in the most respectful manner I can obtain. 

Firstly, you say I “copy-pasted everything from another blog”. I want to point out the differences I have spotted. 

our names

our color scheme

our writing style

our personalities

To say that I copied “everything” is an overstatement. I had Tumblr for less than three days when this whole thing happened. 

In any case, from my point of view, I saw a tumblr format I liked and used it as a base to curate my own style. From the moment of me pasting the format, I’d instantly began changing the things I didn’t like. No shade the original creator, I thought her format was the simplest one to which I could add and disregard things as I pleased.

I have said this before, but if it wasn’t her, it would have been someone else’s. I honestly had no idea this was such a huge issue, but seeing as it has affected many people in a very negative way, I’m trying to accommodate as best I can. I want to reiterate that I’m 18 and seeing these women 5 and 8 years older than me acting in such a way is incredibly humorous, but I digress. 

Now, about the fic I wrote, yes I agree 110% it was completely immature, and it was incredibly wrong of me to post it, and for that I apologize. I’m not going to sit here and pretend I’m an angel, it was a mistake. However–and this is not to disregard what I just stated–it was my way of expressing how I felt, though it should have been something saved on a file or something, like a diary entry.

When you reference the writer “calling you out on it” I assume you’re talking about the fanfiction. Before this though, the person did private message me and I did think she was incredibly kind about it, but then I took a look at her profile and found she had been blogging about me all day, and I felt blatantly disrespected for the fact that she states in one of her messages to me, “I am sorry I could not..." message, "...you before you got hate.” But as I’d gone through her page before I'd blocked her, she’d been posting about me all day whilst I was completely oblivious. 

One of the posts that showed me she truly wasn’t genuine was where an anon had asked her to drop the first letter of my username, and in the response, she informed the anon she would not be doing so as she felt it wrong, "...to put someone on blast”, I had initially liked the post, but then I’d read the hashtag which state,” #and I know there are people out there who will say something in her asks/messages #but I'm trying to make peace with it,” so this is fine, I appreciate this, but then she completely throws all of that out of the window and states, “#their blog name starts with a. If that satisfies you at all,” now I’m not one to be upset at someone being upfront with their disrespectfulness, but to try covering it with facade is disgusting. 

If you wanted the drama to end, why are you playing into what this anon asked after deliberately saying you do not condone it because you feel it’s, “...wrong…”

Again, I am 18, this person is 23 and who knows how old you are. This person is 5 years older and writing things like this, I would have more respect for her if she was straightforward about her animosity.

Now, to answer your last statement, “how does it feel to be so infinitely immature?” 

Oh, darling, I adore it.

[infamous-if]

You don’t need to post this but just so you know, it really does sounding like almost no one in the story who have witness to or have heard the MC’s work think it is very interesting at all 🫣, and just occasionally a person will randomly appreciate for some reason, such as Orion. I think maybe a lot of readers might had anticipated a type of MC that has the experience of undeniably suited for this and so on, in the way you have sometimes describe some others in the story, such as S

Hi ! Sorry but I'm going to post this mostly (and apologies that your ask is the one who is gonna get this long response, my ire isn't towards you because you're being very kind about it but others have, honestly, not been) because other people probably have this thought as well but I'm sort of confused on where this whole idea of MC being useless/untalented/not suitable is coming from?

I've said before there will be people who question MC's talent, but that's just natural--not everyone is going to think someone is worthy of their fame and attention. People thinking that there are better singers out there doesn't invalidate what MC is capable of. If I wrote a story where every person thinks MC is the greatest thing since sliced bread then that wouldn't be an entertaining story lol You need tension, and you need naysayers so every win can feel satisfying. Plus, doubters is a natural and normal thing in the business. MC is literally in a competition where other very talented bands are competing. Even though they're the main character, they're the main character of their story. Not everyone elses. Other bands believe they are just as deserving--if not more--of winning than MC's band. It's natural. To those bands MC is just another person they need to beat to win.

Seven being more famous doesn't mean MC isn't talented (the band literally voted for MC's vocals over Seven's). G being more famous doesn't mean MC isn't talented. Hell, if MC's band lost BOTB and went home empty handed, that doesn't mean MC isn't talented. It's part of the competition. Amazing bands and amazing singers get rejected all the time. There isn't room for everybody.

I do want to mention that people probably feel this way because I can not give concrete answers about an MC that is largely customizable. In the game, your MC can lack confidence. Or they can be arrogant. They can believe their skills are lackluster, or they can believe they are the best singer alive. People expect me to answer questions that have varied answers depending on what MC each player is playing. I can't give you that! I do my best.

Orion listened to MC once and quit his job to manage them.

2. August auditioned to be their drummer, and while August is largely indifferent, they admit themselves they were interested and they tell MC how good MC's voice is.

3. Maya is quite literally following MC's band around the USA because she's that much of a fan.

4. Seven dislikes MC, but Seven is not a liar: they will always stand by their opinion that MC is talented. That's one of the biggest reasons why Seven liked MC so much: their artistry.

4. This is spoilery but fuck it: G listened to MC once and wanted MC's band in BOTB.

idk why people think that people listen to MC and get bored when I don't think I've ever indicated that? The demo isn't even out lshshdhsahs

anyway this isn't an attack on you anon but it is kind of frustrating that people think MC is just this untalented fluke that didn't work hard to get to where they are today. Just as much as MC is yours, they're also mine, and I wanted to make it clear that MC isn't lazy nor are they someone who just does nothing and doesn't try. At least that part isn't customizable: MC works and has worked really freaking hard to be where they are.

sorry for the long response and once again, this isn't an attack on you, but this has been a topic in my inbox and i just dont get it--the demo is literally not even out.

[psychoticallytrans]

How in the world do you deal with bigoted asks without flipping your lid? I know I would if I got those kinds of things in my inbox

Well, first, if an ask really makes me mad, I start working on anger management, such as doing a workout or snapping a pencil to let off steam. That means that I'm not directing the anger at a real person, which regardless of how satisfying it would be in the moment, would make me feel terrible in the long run. It's not worth the bad impact that it would have on my own mental health.

Second, I filter the bigoted asks for ones that I think I can make useful or educational. If they're just a slur or insult, those go in the bin, because I can't use that to help anyone. I only publish bigoted asks that I think I can use to inform people, even, if the bigot never takes it to heart. I focus on the educational part of it, and on the rest who is looking at the answer, rather than on the specific asker. They're only one of the people who will see it, after all.

Mostly, though, it just makes me a little sad to see them. Either they are unaware of what they are saying, in which case I hope my response helps, or they are hateful, in which case they're spending their lives in a pretty miserable way, and will probably only find acceptance and community among similarly hateful people. It seems like a terrible way to live.

[piarelei]

hi, would you be able to write a Cymav fic for me? Rated T or G. Maybe Cyclone is really stressed and ends up going to The Hard Deck, Maverick finds him there and they end up going home together. The main thing I want is Mav comforting Cyclone and helping him find a way to relax. Thank you

Hello, I did a lil something, not sure how satisfying it is to you. I'm not really used to this dynamic and this was incredibly interesting. I had a lot of fun, thank you! Not beta-ed, sorry, we die like Goose.

Cyclone would not use reckless as an adjective to define himself, but he feels positively so when he lets Maverick take the seat across from him. A self-satisfied Maverick is a dangerous one and Maverick looks like the cat who got the cream.

“Go away, Mitchell,” Cyclone says, reflexively.

Maverick flashes a smile and puts his sweating beer on the table, ignoring the perfectly serviceable coster a few inches from it. Cyclone sighs and flicks it towards him. It has the unfortunate effect of reading as an invitation.

“What’s up?” Maverick asks, sprawling on the back of his chair. He looks good, relaxed and happy. Life after death and all that crap.

“Is that how you speak to your superior?”

Maverick snorts. “As of…” He looks down at his wristwatch. “Two days and three hours ago, I officially retired. I don’t really answer to you.”

Cyclone huffs a bitter laugh. “Have you ever answered to me?”

Maverick shrugs. “Well, orders are orders.”

Cyclone sips at his whiskey sour instead of answering.

“Well, seriously,” Maverick pushed on. “What’s up?”

“Have you never had a bad day?”

Maverick hums. “Sure did. Plenty. But I usually didn’t make it better by having a drink by my lonesome in the bar where the people who have turned my day to shit also go drink away their sorrows.”

Cyclone presses his lips together. He concedes the point. “What do you prescribe then, doctor?” he answers, bitterness flooding between his teeth.

“Pack it up and find someone to show you a good time,” Maverick says with a smug grin, leaning forward conspiratorially.

Cyclone wrinkles his nose. “Is that you offering?” It’s only half a joke and he almost regrets it as he says it.

In response, he feels the press of Maverick’s boot against his ankle. “Is that you taking me up on it?”

Cyclone’s body goes taunt, a little with apprehension, a little with want. Breathing is a conscious effort.

He looks toward the bar, where Penny Benjamin is cracking jokes with her regulars. Cyclone swallows back on his own desire and turns judgmental eyes to Maverick.

“In your girlfriend’s bar, really?”

Maverick cracks a smile like Cyclone is a very prolific comedian. “Penny is a very good friend, but she’s no girlfriend of mine, no sir.”

When Cyclone doesn't find an answer fast enough, Maverick mellows and reaches out, touching two fingers to the white-knuckle grip that Cyclone has around his glass. “We don’t have to, but I would really like to take you home.”

He had heard the stories of Maverick’s very long string of girlfriends and had never understood how good looks could pull so many women into one’s bed. He gets it now. It’s not just good looks. The depth of his eyes where dances something caring and wild is a powerful seduction tool.

Cyclone pulls away, pretending to take another swallow. Then a second. Then a third. Until he sits there, with ice burning his lips. He has very little time to make a decision and he is afraid that it’s already all made.

He lets his glass thunk on the table and looks straight at Maverick. He pulls all of the authority he has amassed in his body, which has already given him the reputation of a hardass, and does his best to appear collected.

“You’ve taken you bike here, correct?” He waits for Maverick to nod, a playful purse to his lips. “You’ll follow me, then. These are your orders.”

Maverick rises from his seat. “After you, sir.”

Hope you liked it! My inbox is still open for suggestions, I'm not a regular to Cymav but this was a really nice time. If you have any Icemav, Hangster, (dare I say Cymav if this was not a complete disaster) literally anything you wanna read, send me a prompt.

[dutchdread]

Hi I'm not sure if you already answered this before, but do you like the ending of Rebirth? And how Aerith's death was played out? Why do you think Aerith's spirit lingered after her death? Was it to help Cloud cope or to make things worse for him? Sorry so many questions? 😅

There's a lot of questions but that's ok, as long as people don't mind that I probably won't get through them all since the long responses tend to take A LONG time to make, and I do actually have a life and hobbies, then people can keep sending em. If I really get overwhelmed I'll just close the inbox since I do prefer to write stuff that I can reuse. Which is sort of the case here, because yeah, I have addressed the ending, and no, I was not a fan. Really should make a single comprehensive review tbh.

Link

As for why Aeriths spirit lingers, it's hard to say, it's hard to even say if it is her spirit, we can't even be sure if every Aerith we see post death is the same Aerith, or even is Aerith in the first place. Could be Clouds mind coping and making something up. Could be a vision imparted by Sephiroth, could be anything, although I do think that Nanaki recognizing her in the ending cinematic is strong evidence for her actually being present. Now if that means her being present as a spirit, or present in another world, I could not tell you. I could not even tell you if there is a real difference between "existing in another world" and "being in the lifestream". That's the problem with making your story too convoluted, you are no longer able to effectively "read along" with the story, so you just have to accept whatever happens. There is no feeling of "ohhhh, so that's what's going on, duh", you instead get a sense of "ok, if you say that's whats happening I'll take your word for it". It's extremely unsatisfying, like bashing a puzzle into place with a hammer, sure you solved your complicated puzzle, but the only reason I was interested in the solution was because I though it was something clever that I should have been able to figure out myself. The one thing I can say is that despite all the grief Aerith gets from certain parts of the fandom (some of which deserved, some not) she's not intentionally trying to make things worse for Cloud. If Aerith is really there in body or spirit, and is fully able to exercise her own agency, then it's because she thinks that doing so will ultimately be for the best. She might be unsure of what to do, she might think that acting as though everything is alright is what is best for Clouds psyche, I don't know, but it's certain that she wants to help. My gut instinct is that this mirrors Aeriths attitude in the sleeping forest, she's realized how messed up Clouds psyche really is, and is trying to unburden Cloud the best she knows how. In the OG she tells him to go take care of himself and she'll go take care of Sephiroth, and here she takes a similar "it's all good, don't worry about me, I'll go stop meteor, you just go after Sephiroth ok?" attitude. The biggest question is why she specifically asks Cloud NOT to go after Sephiroth originally, but does an exact 180 here, but it could still be argued that the core of the message remains the same "don't take too much on your plate, you just focus on what you can focus on, and leave the rest to me". Hope that satisfied you, hard to answer things that are still this uncertain.

[wannaeatramyeon]

hihi!! i thought this was funny and wanted to tell you😭

i was telling my friend about Goo and how i would absolutely marry him and they said that he needs their blessing. i asked what he can do to get their blessing and they said he needed to write them an essay about how much he loves me so, to entertain them, i wrote them an essay from Goo's perspective about why he wants to marry me with a 20 minute timer. it was 584 words in the end and I worked a miracle.

Moral of the story: Goo got the blessing😭so uhhh you can always write your way into someones life??

This tickled me, just imagining the unhinged ramblings from Goo POV mixed with your own. Drop it please.

Inbox clearing time! Non fic requests answered: 6. (Check it - plus my fave Lookism arcs!)

To the non-anon anon that I have not included and I don't know what to do with your message - No, I won't hold your hand while you poop. Good luck with that.

Really?? I feel so... unhinged and nonsensical (even more so than usual) when I rant. Seriously thank you for reading!?!!?

PTJ did somewhat write women with more of a personality in his Life As A Loser Series so it seems more of a shame that he's lost his touch and catering much more towards teenage boys with his current series.

Which. Fine. Action manhwa - great. BUT if your target audience are teenage boys then yknow, wouldn't it be even BETTER to write some strong badass women so these impressionable youngsters realise that not all girls need saving, and oh look. Girls are human too. With their own ambitions and flaws and imperfections, just like everyone else.

If you must make them simp, form a harem. Also. FINE. At least give them something beyond that.

Hey Black Anon! Sorry again for how long it took me to respond to your ask before, and hope it's going much better for yourself since your last request.

I'm muuuuch more responsive with DMs so if you ever wanna come out of anon - come shout at me in my DMs!!

HTF s2 is really... something. Completely lost the meaning of HTF and Viral Hit. Don't blame you for dropping it. Alas, the Taehoon grip on me is still going STRONG.

LOL. Me in a similar position, wondering if I should get into JJK.

Can I... recommend some of my fave arcs if you ever do decide to read Lookism? The ones I like are generally more story driven.

Vasco's backstory (prepare the tissues) - 52 - 57

Johan + Zack + Mira backstory (cult warning, another sad arc) - 132 - 138

Goddog (another pretty sad arc with Johan) - 199 - 213

Jacedichi Files (silly crime solving with Burn Knuckles) - 215 - 218

One Night (Johan + Jace!! Fun action) - 258 - 262

Jake Kim (PLEASE READ THIS IF NOTHING ELSE) - 302 - 318

Workers (2A) (Rescuing Sinu. Honestly, I cry almost every time. Read Jake Kim's arc to appreciate this!) - 372 - 392

Let me know if you ever get into it!!!

Me??? Mine????? I cannot write that guy so thank you - that means A LOT to me! I will try harder to write a decent Eli (that doesn't devolve into ranting about his current direction).

Thank you for reading and being so friggin CUTE!! 💖

I feel a vaguely threatening tone from this.

Like something Goo would recite before walking into a darkened warehouse with a crowbar 🤔

Baby there's nothing noble about this, but it is actually more satisfying than my normal job lol (lolling through tears).

Thank you so much for reading!! My single braincell has been firing quite well with these ideas.

Anon. Honestly this is adorable, I've screenshat this for a pick me up ahhhhhhh 🥹

My dear 🕊️ anon, thank you for reading my DG fic! I also feel very little for DG but I will admit I am coming around to him.

YES!!! I LOVE the idea of someone getting close to James Lee in his younger years, and him being soft for the reader.

And then I also like angst so let's bring those 2 things together. Heh.

Eeeee I also added that Remember fic to my list of faves that I have written.

Please. I also have a list of fictional men I am unwell over. Let's start a support group! 🫠

[yelspyder]

oi, chuchu!!

vim aqui na tua inbox (de novo) pra falar que o que tu escreveu ficou muito muuuuito bom, sério. tu conseguiu superar demais as minhas expectativas. 💕

enfim! eu também vim aqui pra te trazer outra ideia, onde o leitor gosta de desenhar e, desde quando conheceu seu amorzinho, não para de o desenhar. (bom, pode fazer essa ask com qualquer personagem, sério. sinta-se livre, eu confio em você. ;) )

– 🌙 anon.

↳ summary: Basically, Pavitr discovers your sketchbook

↳ characters: Pavitr Prabhakar

↳ Gn! Reader

↳ notes: I really took a while to write this one, pls excuse me 🌙 anon, this has been here for weeks ☠ thank you for your sweet words anon you are so kind 😭 Anyway, I hope you like it.

"Oh. My. Gosh! You drew me?!" PAVITR asked as his startled gaze quickly switched between you and your sketchbook.

It was just another normal day at home. You, just enjoying the peace of a moment alone while listening to music and doodling in your sketchbook. Well, that is until Pavitr excitedly barges into your room through the window in his superhero costume, already rambling about his day.

You just muttered and nodded in response, not really paying much attention to him. When he realized that your attention was focused on something else, which honestly took a while, Pavitr wasted no time in interrogating you as he threw himself at you.

You've mumbled a few things like, "Get off me, you're heavy," but your boyfriend still isn't satisfied. Not until he figured out what was taking your attention away from him. Wasting no time, Pavitr quickly snatched your sketchbook from your hands and walked away as quickly as he approached. Silently, he had begun flipping through the book. Then, he slowly lifted his head to face you, still not saying anything.

"Uh... 'Pav?" You had spoken with an apparent hesitation in your voice.

Without much delay, he threw himself at you again with teary eyes as he sniffled.

And here you were, Pavitr leaning over you with puppy eyes as he stared at you, and you, a confused look on your face. "Yes.....? This is you I drew."

As soon as you said 'Yes', your boyfriend started having another "hysteria attack". He'd jump all over you saying things so fast you'd wonder if that was humanly possible. He took out your sketchbook and then pointed to several drawings of him talking so fast it was worthy of a rapper.

"My Gosh, My partner is a genius! How can I be so lucky? That is absolutely amazing!" It was one of the few things you could understand from what he said.

It took about ten minutes for him to calm down, and then the questions began: "Can I get some of these drawings for myself?", "How do you draw so well?", "Can you draw me with wings and a pitchfork? That would be really cool!", "Since when do you know how to draw?", and then "Why didn't you tell me that before?!"

Without even giving you time to answer the other questions, he looked almost upset, as if you had somehow betrayed him when you asked the last question.

Slightly hesitant, you replied "Honestly, I didn't think it was relevant to our relationship."

"Of course it would be important, my partner is an artist! That's a thousand times better than that Van Gogh guy." Pavitr retorted quickly as he fixed you with a serious look that made you wonder if he was joking or not.

Not being able to think of many other response options, you just sighed in defeat and answered him. "Yes, yes, I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

As if by magic, his face lit up as he quickly flashed a bright smile. Then he wrapped you in a hug and smiled. "It's better now. And if you have any more gifts hidden there, I'll want to know, or else... I might get really mad, you know." He said the last part with a failed attempt at a threat that sounded more like he was pleading.

"Sure, sure. I will." You assured him while laughing at his silly yet cute actions.

After a few seconds of silence, he spoke again. "So, can you draw me with wings and a pitchfork?"

[myers-meadow]

Yep, I've definitely lost count. 🐾 If it wouldn't be a bother to you, then I think I will take you up on that offer to help me figure out those numbers.

As for your pace, you do it however fast or slow or anything in between that you want to. Just know that I always smile when I see you respond in any way to one of my thingies (but don't feel obligated to pace yourself around trying to make me or anyone else happy; that is not your responsibility and will inevitably lead to burnout, which I think is the last thing either of us wants).

Then for the tags, that was just me giving my two cents on it and—at the risk of sounding like a broken record here—you should ultimately do whatever you want with those, too. At the end of the day, this is your blog and, if you ever feel like I am overstepping, you have every right to tell me to go bury my two cents in the litter box. Interacting with a fandom is all supposed to be something one does for fun, it should never feel like a chore.

I just answered a bunch, and scheduled two more to post at night (so you'll see those during when you often send them to me). I always smile when I wake up to a new ask too. You're not overstepping with anything, I never feel pushed to do anything by you or your asks. The pressure i feel is just from within and its something im working on, when my mind is not plagued by visions of me intertwining my tail with Haarlep's.

Fandom is really fun to engage in! I'm just nervous, but the benefits of making friends and getting to share hcs and art and fics is easily worth it.

currently in my inbox are (if i counted correctly):

Halsin: 3. Gale: 1. Astarion: 0. Haarlep: 1 fluff, 3 older ones (working on short fics for some of those). Raphael: 2 fluff, 6 other. Rolan: 2.

With how many I've answered today, and the motivation i have now that i am off work for two weeks, don't worry about it seeming like a lot. I am having a lot of fun with them, and every time i get a new one it makes me really happy and inspires me 💖✨. I'm usually the kind of person who has a lot of fics going at the same time, to switch between when it strikes my fancy.

Lately my dreams have been plagued (quite literally) by the Dream Guardian (not the emperor!! I'm vegetarian I don't eat squid ✌ /joking). And then there is He Who Was, who even though he has only one scene haunts me with his mysterious vibe and beautiful black eyes. Do you also like them perchance? Totally understandable if you don't have anything laying around for them! So please don't push yourself for me <3. I'm more than satisfied with the wonderful asks that are patiently waiting for me to answer them ✨

[bonearenaofmyskull]

I wanted to let you know how much I admire your writing. Your talent for storytelling is incredible, and I've been a big fan of your work for a while now.(You could see my comments in ao3)

Going through the comments in ao3 one thing was clear that u DO wanted to write a s4 fic but I guess u must be very busy which is understandable and if u need any help just let me know. I would love to assist you

I've been thinking about how amazing it would be to read a Season 4 fanfic from you. I can't help but imagine the magic you'd create with those characters and plotlines. So, I wanted to make it clear that it's now my mission to gently (or not so gently) nag you to write a Season 4 fic, every week.

I would definitely stop if it's not acceptable.

I'm really excited about the idea, and I would be absolutely thrilled to read your take on it.

Your writing has a special place in my heart, and I believe a Season 4 fic from you would be nothing short of extraordinary. Please consider it, and know that I'd be eagerly waiting to devour every word of it.

Looking forward to any updates on this mission of mine!

Love 😘

Cassy from ao3

Yeah, this is not a good idea. Don't do this, especially not now. I don't know if you're a member of the group of friends who recently overwhelmed my private messaging with questions about season 4, almost creepy enthusiasm, and nagging for responses. But if not, be aware that after something like 56 messages in less than two days, I actually started blocking people. This is something I've rarely done to non-porn bots--I've probably blocked real people less than 5 times in the 10 years I've been on tumblr. I appreciate that you like my work, but with this context in mind, now is not the time.

And just a note for the general audience out there and those people I blocked in case they're lurking about: I'm not a meta tap you can privately turn on for your Hannibal fix, nor a stand-in for Bryan Fuller and production now that most have lost hope for a season 4. I still enjoy Hannibal but have mostly moved on to other hobbies, and if I do ever write another fic or a season 4 fic, it will be when I feel moved by inspiration, not by being inundated by demands.

For the record, what specific ideas I have for a season 4 fic will remain unstated unless I write it, and what speculations and predictions I have that seem realistic for the actual show, I've probably mostly stated in previous metas, or if not, have kept to myself for personal reasons. I'm sure some of it I've forgotten by this point.

The right way to approach me for a meta discussion is to send an ask to my inbox like Cassy here did, so that I can make a public response and generate a discussion if possible: that's how a meta blog generates content for blogging. No one who writes meta has time to write whole analytical essays and arguments for an audience of 1, unless that audience is a very close and trusted friend.

With that said, I do understand that this isn't that satisfying since I haven't answered asks in a long time, and when I have, my responses have been brief. The truth is, I just haven't got that much to say about Hannibal that I haven't already said in the past. I believe there are a variety of more recent Hannibal meta blogs out there, as well as ones that reblog and index meta from multiple writers. Good luck to you all in finding what you're looking for.

Cassy, I do appreciate your enthusiasm, and I'll make an effort to catch up on my AO3 comments here in a bit.

[gulliblelemon]

hi! surprise self rec time <3🌷Pick 3 of your favorite things you’ve written and share them here, then put this in the inbox (anonymously or not) of your fellow writers to spread the positivity and help celebrate already written fics 💖

I've answered this before, but I'm going to answer again with the same fics, but with an explanation this time.

Where We Left Off (84.5k, T)

This one's probably not surprising. It's by far the longest thing I've ever written (and will probably ever write). It was such a labour of love, and I was working on it for almost a year. I learned so much about my writing process whilst doing it. It was the first time I'd been able to see a clear vision of what I wanted and how I wanted to get there, and it made the whole thing a dream to write. It was also the first fic of mine that I worked with my beta, the wonderful @iwouldnevergetintofanfic, which made the experience even more special 💜

Worth The Wait (16.7k, T)

I wrote this in a frenzy whilst my favourite people were in a field with Omar. I loved the achiness of it, and the inevitability. And I loved writing the friendship between Simon and Wille and Felice.

Thirteen (4k, T)

I had the first two lines of this fic written for almost a year before I finished it (that tells you what my WIP folder looks like). Then two days before the prompt for Wille's month, I dusted it off and started writing. Again, I had a really clear vision and it made it so satisfying to write. Plus, they were really sweet. It was the first thing I ever wrote in present tense. @iwouldnevergetintofanfic asked how I'd found it. My response: "Horrendous. I regretted everything" 😅 But I got over it and have done it again since.

I think if you asked on a different day I might have different answers, but it still felt nice to have these three this time.

[m34gs]

You asked me this a long while ago, so now I am returning the favour: What are your favourite parts of our Sort of Saw Franchise AU?

Aw, thank you for the ask friend! I'm so very excited to answer!!!!!! There's so much I love about this au, and I definitely have parts that I consistently think about and rotate in my mind. Here's my list:

The way our fics fit together:

I absolutely love the way we are writing this AU. Your fics centered on Yuu being absolutely oblivious to their friends all being murderers, and then my fics focusing on the murder itself; it's a really fun contrast. I love how we are pairing the fics by dorm, and I am so excited for what you plan to write now that you've made your way through each dorm interacting with Yuu! (I also cannot wait to also write all my dorm murder fics, and then get started on some of the other things we have planned for this!) I just find the way our fics fit together, especially when I can pull in references and tie my fic directly into yours, so satisfying. It makes me so happy. Like a perfect baton hand-off in a relay.

I get to write the murders!

I get to focus on writing complex and creative and symbolic murders unabashedly for this au, and I love it! I've been watching Saw for years; since I was a teen! I have analyzed and reviewed every single trap in the movies between mouthfuls of popcorn and/or brownies while sitting on the couch with my childhood bestie. I have thought through which ones would be actually escapable and what to do in each situation. Now, I get to view it through a different lens and imagine characters creating traps rather than just escaping them. It's like giving me free reign to design the deadliest escape rooms ever 👀👀💜💜 As much as I have talked about the amount of actual research and planning that goes into my companion fics for yours, I do love the process of coming up with an idea for a trap and working it into a narrative. Also, I play the Saw End theme from the various movies on repeat while I write the trap part, which makes me so happy because that music fucking slaps!

I get to mirror the way Saw is filmed with how I write:

Basically, what I mean when I say this, is the reveals for traps, for reasons behind trapping victims, as well as the history and traps the housewardens went through themselves. Flashbacks. Dramatic reveals. Victims starting off in a trap not knowing what is going on and immediately having the sympathy of the audience only to have that stripped away as theirsins are laid bare; and to have that same sympathy added to the ones running your trap when it's revealed what they went through. I live for it. It's such a fun way to play with characters and development. And, I love using techniques to contrast or parallel the current victims with the housewarden trapping them. It's so fun! I love playing in the literary sandbox like this!!!

Exploring the trauma of being a Trap survivor:

I am excited to be delving more and more into the Housewardens' backstories with the traps and John! It's about that sweet, sweet character development! Mwahahahahaha!

Sending and Receiving asks on the AU:

Anytime I send you a Saw AU ask and get your response I am thrilled. Anytime I see an ask related to Saw AU in my inbox I am over the moon. I love talking about it so much! It's just so fun and there's so many wonderful pieces to consider. Also, it gives me a lot of fuel and inspiration on how to write the scenes I want in my companion fics! It's just so fun!

Most of all, my absolute favourite part of this AU is that we created it together and continue to work on it and talk about it together! I just love having this series that we've created; it's so special to me. Special place in my heart!!

Thanks again for the ask, friend!

[ardenssolis]

@tenkoseiensei said (inbox):

' i can't ... make anyone love me. ' covering his face and submerging into himself, would seething and razing have been better? gnashing his teeth, lashing out at the other, aiming for ozymandias's throat and shrieking with glee did he manage to tear those precious veins out and claim a cruel superiority, these childish, villainous thoughts tempt and haunt him, no matter for how briefly. of course, he rejects them: despite ozymandias's arrogance, as well as misunderstandings. ' i'm not jealous of you for your body. it's not your intelligence, it's not the way you speak, or your wealth, or your power, it's ... ' the opposite of himself. a fullness and audience that, on occasion, could make every ache feel even worse. beyond the harsh light of the sun, its warmth and its love, the wash of praise the world always kept for it. beyond yan qing's own doppelganger dreams and lies. ' i'm jealous that anyone can like you at all. i know there's even a responsibility to being admired. i know i'd probably fail at it. but i still really, really ... ' starved, with a mouth too small for all of its desires; hungry ghost. he futilely clutches and grasps at the gaping hole that's opened up inside of himself. plainly: it agonized and hurt. ' i'm serious, yeye. i thought admitting it might help something, but i feel like i'm going to fall apart. i'm going crazy. ' figure too subtly shifting, fighting against every phantom spirit instinct to transform and hide himself, the only thing he can do is stand, grit his teeth, and try to bear the inhumanly unbearable while hiding an agonized face. ' i don't know what to do with these feelings. i don't want to give up, but staring into my own hand, hearing my own voice, there's nothing and no one more that i want to kill. '

     ❝OF COURSE YOU CANNOT. Someone either loves you, or they do not. That is merely the way of it.❞ He paused for a moment, quiet as he examined Yan Qing – observing him with unspoken concern. What thoughts did they have now? It was times like this that he wished he held the ability to discern the thoughts and feelings of others like Arash. If he could do that, he could properly understand what floated about in the Assassin’s thoughts and tailor his words accordingly. Was this…envy that they spoke of? They were truly envious of him rather than speaking mere jest, but he had known this. It wasn’t as if Yan Qing had been subtle or quiet about how he felt over the months, years, that they had known one another. They were always hungry for something, and yet no matter how much they fed whatever that hunger was, they would never truly be satisfied. Even so, it was human nature to constantly want something. How rare was it to find someone who was wholly, thoroughly, satisfied?

     What did you say to someone so close to the edge of a knife? A misstep in words could have Yan Qing instantly plunging off of it, and thus, the Sun King did not answer outright. He merely sat still, his observations continuing and his gaze unreadable. Against the onslaught of emotion he was akin to the rocks by the sea. It was not until Yan Qing had completely finished that he opted to say anything at all. ❝Those feelings are not abnormal. To be envious of someone…to wish that you were them, or that you had things that they had – there is nothing about that to be condemned. Even the gods feel this most profoundly, after all.❞ Regardless of it all, Ozymandias was pleased that they still deemed to tell him things like this. They wanted to hide, he knew that much. Yan Qing always wanted to hide and blend in with the shadows rather than deal with their own tumultuous emotions. Rather than lash out with fists as they might have, this was a marked improved.

     Small, or otherwise.

     ❝With that said, no one ever said admitting your darker emotions would make you feel better. For some it does, and for some, it does not. The only thing I can say is to not it consume you.❞ He knew that was easier said than done, but what else was he supposed to say? All the world’s answers were not at his fingertips. He might have lived a full life, yet that did not mean he did not make foolish choices or say things that would not be rightfully challenged. ❝You are made of so much, Yan Qing. Your emotions are sometimes like a quiet winter night, and then at times like this, a torrential wave. It makes you so…human.❞ Human in ways that he would never wholly be, certainly. If anything, Yan Qing’s fierce humanity was nearly grounding for one who held themselves above all others. ❝There is no easy answer for me to give you to make you feel better. When it comes to moments like this one, it is you who has to find it for yourself, and that means having to stumble.❞