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dustofthedailylife · 9 months ago

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You were not supposed to hear that...yet

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Pairing: Alhaitham x (gn!) Reader

Summary: Alhaitham reveals a secret about the inner workings of his heart to his friends over a cup of wine and in between some banter. However, he did not expect it would go this wrong...

Tags: Fluff, crack, comfort, teasing, consumption of alcohol (by characters), the whole 4ggravate crew is here, friendly banter between friends, a small sprinkle of angst because reader is insecure (but it's unjustified)

A/N: Dust posting a new fic?! Not an April Fool's joke, despite the date! Finally felt inspired and well enough again to finish this fic that has been rotting in my WIPs forever. I hope you like it. And feel free to hit me up with asks and reblogs - it'd motivate me greatly after my long break 🥺

The usual friend group of Cyno, Kaveh, Tighnari, and him - Alhaitham, was sitting at the Tavern. A gathering like it happened almost every weekend at this point.

The wine bottle on the table had been emptied around two or three times already when Kaveh ordered a new one yet again. At this point, Alhaitham had actually lost count of how many glasses of wine he'd already had, too. But one thing was for certain, he could feel the alcohol in his system and the warm blood that was rushing to his cheeks. All things considered though, despite feeling a little tipsy from the intoxication, he was still able to think clearly.

"Let me guess I'm the one who will have to end up covering your bill again?" He took sarcastic a jab at Kaveh.

The man in question just squinted his eyes and glared daggers at him before opening his mouth in an attempt to protest before it was quickly shot down by Tighnari's hand covering it.

Alhaitham leisurely leaned back in his chair smirking to himself, training his focus back onto the TCG cards in his hands and considering his next turn of action in the game he was playing against Cyno.

"What, am I just supposed to take it all the time and be quiet?!" Kaveh retorted, directed at Tighnari. The fox's ears were beginning to droop lower and lower as his expression became more and more deadpan.

"You all know as well as I do that if [Y/N] was here he wouldn't be acting like this. He would be on his best behavior and pay for the drinks without so much as complaining or being so cocky."

"By the way," Tighnari attempted to divert the attention away from Kaveh's ranting. "Where are they? Didn't you say they wanted to stop by the Tavern as well today, Alhaitham?"

Alhaitham played his round, throwing his card Cyno's way before looking up at Tighnari again.

"They mentioned it but I suppose something must've come up instead. I will ask tomorrow."

"Isn't it strange?" Kaveh addressed the others. "Whenever it involves [Y/N] he graciously offers himself up to talk to them and seek them out but whenever someone else is looking for him he is nowhere to be found."

"Maybe you just can't find me because I simply don't have anything to discuss with you." Alhaitham threw another jab at Kaveh with a smirk, which was promptly followed by a light punch against his bicep by the blonde architect.

"What? I constantly have to talk to you already when we're at ho-"

"SHHH! Don't say that out loud." Kaveh hissed, quickly covering Alhaitham's mouth in panic, since he didn’t want him to spell out that they were currently living together. “It's embarrassing enough that I currently have no other choice, no need to add to my misery.”

A witty quip was burning at the tip of Alhaitham's tongue after Kaveh's remark yet again, but he decided to swallow it. He didn't want to upset him too much, especially since he knew he'd had it rough lately. Even if it would've been said in jest, there was no need to add insult to injury. Instead, he simply resorted to taking another sip of his wine with a low chuckle and a glance in the blonde architect’s direction.

“Aaaaanyway…”, Tighnari cleared his throat, addressing Alhaitham once more. “What is it between [Y/N] and you anyway? You've become quite close haven't you?”

“That's an understatement.” Kaveh groaned, dropping his head on his folded arms on the table dramatically. “He can't stop talking about them. Day in and day out it’s [Y/N]-this, [Y/N]-that.”

“We started working on a project about six months ago. Things are progressing quite smoothly if I do say so myself. Certainly makes things easier if you're working with someone who is both hardworking and intelligent in every way. I’ve been lucky to have been assigned to the project with them.” Alhaitham answered Tighnari’s question rationally while ignoring Kaveh’s dramatic display.

“Here he goes again.” Kaveh huffed, directing his comment at Cyno and Tighnari. “Whenever he talks about them you hear nothing but praises.”

“If someone is doing a great job, is it not logical to give them the credit they deserve?” Alhaitham added matter of factly.

“No… I mean yes, but no. It's just not something I'd see you doing. It’s so out of character.” Kaveh huffed. “And before you say anything, yes, maybe I just don't know that side of you because I don't give you any reason to praise me. No need to add that, thank you.”

Kaveh poked his tongue out at Alhaitham before taking a big sip from his wine.

“Why, if you want to be praised you just need to say so, Kaveh. I think you're quite brilliant - your shortcomings aside.” He just had to add that last bit. Kaveh was just way too easy to tease. And what would this friend group be without the playful banter and jabs at each other?

Kaveh choked on the drink immediately and slammed his cup down onto the table with a loud clang. A fire burned behind his crimson eyes when he spoke next.

“This is exactly what I meant, thanks for proving my point!”

Kaveh looked at Cyno and Tighnari gesturing in the direction of Alhaitham with a move that said “Do you see what I mean now?”.

Tighnari just facepalmed and shook his head.

“And what is your point exactly?” Cyno inquired, playing a card from his hand.

“Did you not listen to what he said?” Kaveh gasped.

“Not really,” Cyno admitted honestly, his eyes trained back on the cards in his hands.

“It's the fact that he can praise others too, but never without also pointing out their faults in the same sentence. Did no one ever notice that? However, he never does that when it's [Y/N].” Kaveh explained.

“And?” Tighnari and Cyno replied in unison, looking puzzled as to where Kaveh wanted to go with this.

Kaveh put his head in his hand and groaned in frustration. “Sometimes you all make me feel like I am surrounded by idiots.”

Now everyone raised their eyebrows at him.

“You're all so clueless… anyway.” He sighed dramatically and accusingly pointed a finger at Alhaitham. “This guy. This admittedly handsome but blockheaded, know-it-all, stoic, annoying-”

“Get to the point.” Alhaitham chided, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Fine, fine." Kaveh spread his arms like he was holding a presentation and Alhaitham his canvas.

“This guy's right here, as alien as it may sound – has fallen in love.”

“You're in love?!” Cyno exclaimed his eyes widening. “With who?!”

Tighnari rolled his eyes, knowing full well Cyno hadn't listed at all the past ten minutes because he had been so absorbed in his cards, and gently slapped the back of his head.

“[Y/N], of course!” The Forest Ranger exclaimed with a huff.

Cyno, now rubbing the back of his head just ushered a “Wait really?” while Kaveh and Tighnari just curiously began eyeing Alhaitham in the hope of seeing any type of confirmation on his face. However, it stayed as unreadable as ever.

He nonchalantly took another sip of wine from his cup while leisurely looking back and forth between the cards on the table and the ones in his hand before playing another turn as if this conversation just now hadn't happened.

“So!?” Kaveh asked, almost hysterically at this point. “Do you intend to enlighten us?”

Just how had he gotten into this situation now? Alhaitham suppressed a sigh before turning to Cyno: “Your turn. Two of your cards are down.”

“Archons!” Cyno cussed, immediately attempting to go back to study his cards but a fist slammed the table harshly, drawing all attention to it.

Tighnari flinched in shock and Cyno, too seemed to be pulled back to reality. Kaveh’s hand was trembling slightly, visibly agitated.

“Stop changing the subject, Alhaitham. The more you keep avoiding answering the question the more I think I am right in my assumptions.”

Alhaitham pinched the bridge of his nose beginning to truly feel a little stressed by Kaveh’s insistance. The man was truly too nosy for his good.

“Kaveh, just let it be if he doesn’t-” Tighnari began before being cut off by Alhaitham.

“And what if you are right? What then, Kaveh?”

Everyone at the table fell silent and everyone was staring at him with a mix of disbelief and shock.

He hadn't planned to reveal any of this yet, especially since he feared they would try to become his wingman. Which, admittedly, may be a nice gesture on paper but with them it could only end in disaster. Plus he would prefer to deal with his feelings alone first and think them through thoroughly, before talking about them with anyone. Besides, it should be you, if anyone, who should hear about them first - alas he was too deep into this now to weasel his way out.

“What?!” Kaveh’s mouth hung open in shock.

“So it is true then?” Cyno inquired, putting the card in his hand down on the table, now suddenly fully hooked on the tea that was being spilled.

“Hold on. Pause.” Kaveh sat upright, before quickly gazing over Alhaitham’s shoulder. “So you-”

“For Archon’s sake.” Alhaitham was beginning to get annoyed because he didn't know how much clearer he had to become for them to get it. “Yes - I’ve been in love with them. For a while now-”

“Alhaitham-” Kaveh tried to interject.

“No, don't interrupt me now, you pestered me about it for the past twenty minutes now you'll have to listen. I have never met anyone who is so hardworking, intelligent, and stunning in any way. Of course, I would be infatuated with a person like them. It would be hard not to fall for them.”

“Uhm Alhai–” Kaveh laughed awkwardly before being interrupted by Alhaitham’s ongoing monologue once more.

“At first I wasn't sure about it but I am now. I am thinking about them first thing in the morning and last thing when I go to sleep - unless you're hammering away on some project again that keeps me awake, Kaveh.”

Kaveh waved for him to shut up already but Alhaitham didn't let that bother him. If he wanted the full story with all the details - he'd get it. He hoped that would get this discussion out of the way once and for all.

“And guess what? They even remembered how I liked my coffee just after I told them once and gifted me a book that I had been trying to find for weeks. So yes, Kaveh. I love [Y/N]. There, does that suffice now, or?”

Kaveh let out a squeal as soon as Alhaitham had stopped speaking but upon further inspection of his expression, it hadn't been one of excitement but rather pure terror and awkwardness.

“Alhaitham…” Cyno and Tighnari said in unison and he only then noticed as well how their gaze was trained on a spot behind him.

“What?” Alhaitham inquired, curling a brow up in confusion before all three men pointed their fingers at something behind him.

When he turned his head around to look at what they were trying to show him, he felt his heart drop to his stomach for the first time in ages.

To his utter shock, you were standing right behind him. Or rather, you were frozen in place, your hand still half lifted in greeting as if you had just been about to greet the lot of them. Your mouth was slightly open in shock still and your pupils were but the size of pinpricks and transfixed on Alhaitham.

And judging by your reaction you must've heard every last word he had said.

“I-I…” You started stammering, clearly confused about what you had just heard. “I uh-, I'll head back home.”

You abruptly turned around on your heel and marched straight out the Tavern door you had just come through as if someone was chasing you.

Alhaitham hadn't moved a muscle ever since he had spotted you standing behind him and he looked like he was frozen in place. Everyone at the table had fallen so silent, one would've been able to hear a needle drop.

Alhaitham's eyes were still fixed on the door you had left through. The little bell that chimed every time the Tavern door hit it on the way in or out was still dangling lightly from the impact. But the movement was dying down slowly but surely - just like Alhaitham, who felt like someone had dropped a boulder on his chest.

You were not supposed to hear that, yet.

“You uh…, Alhaitham you should probably follow them.” Tighnari was the first to speak again. He awkwardly scratched behind his ears. Cyno hummed in agreement while Kaveh just sat there with his mouth wide open.

Alhaitham exhaled in frustration, unable to properly place his emotions. But they were somewhere between unsettled, nervous, and discomforted.

When he got up it felt like someone had tied heavy iron blocks to his ankles that were weighing him down.

“Yeah, I guess I do,” Alhaitham muttered before marching off.

When you stormed outside the Tavern the cool evening breeze gnawed at your skin and made goosebumps erupt all over. Although you weren't quite sure if it was the temperature or your emotional turmoil at play here.

There was no way Alhaitham had just said that and actually meant it. He wouldn't be the type of man to flat-out admit that he had feelings for anyone. Or would he? He had been talking to his closest friends after all.

You were questioning your sense of reality and thought you must've fabricated it all in your mind. Or maybe you misheard what he said and he was talking about something else entirely.

But no, he said your name, and the others looked panicked when you entered the tavern and approached the table.

As you rushed through the streets of Sumeru City the chilly wind kept whipping in your face. Not even you knew where you were going at this point. You simply went where your feet were carrying you.

But eventually, you realized you had run up the Akademiya and to the blue-green mosaic pavilion that glistened in the last rays of sunlight. The spot at which you and Alhaitham often spent your lunch break together.

You sunk down on the bench exhaustedly and stared holes in the ground.

No way.

There was just no way.

Alhaitham. The man you had fallen for so hard that he had begun to occupy every waking thought you had. That man was supposed to have feelings for you and had just flat-out admitted it?

No, this simply had to be a dream. A bad joke. Or maybe even a bet between the group that they orchestrated to prank you.

You could feel your heart thumping in your head and it felt like your head was swimming. It was as if you had downed an entire bottle of wine by yourself, but you were as sober as one could be.

Yes, that had to be it. It was a bet between the boys over one too many cups of wine and they had all acted their parts out flawlessly.

You got up again walking to the railing, overlooking Sumeru city that shone majestically in the last remaining rays of sunshine that the day had to offer. Another gush of wind blew your way, making tears well up in your eyes. Although it may have also been your emotions who were to blame for that instead.

You inhaled deeply. Once. Twice. But nothing seemed to help calming the rapidly beating heart in your chest.

In your daze, you completely missed how someone had quietly come up to the pavilion as well.

Alhaitham leaned against the railing himself, looking over the city in silence, too. He was clearly ringing for words. Although you assumed the wrong reason for his struggle.

“Look,” you began, trying your hardest to suppress the tremble in your voice. “If you came here to apologize - please, spare me your words.”

He looked at you opening his mouth before closing it again right after with a silent nod. His cheeks were dusted in a light pink shade - you assumed it was caused by the alcohol he had downed at the tavern with the others.

“I hope that we can go back to normal tomorrow and just finish our project. I’d prefer if we kept our distance after that. I think it’s for the best” The words left your mouth at normal speed, but it felt like you had to force every single one out. They felt tenacious, like old chewing gum that you tried to pull out from in between your teeth.

“I understand.” He stated calmly before retraining his gaze back into the distance.

You both kept standing next to each other in silence for a long while before you decided to confront him about it directly. You eventually decided it was for the best if you got things off your chest now so that you could get over him quickly. Ripping it off like a band-aid would hopefully give you the relief you so desperately craved right now.

“You know,” you began. “I don’t know who came up with the idea and I also don’t care, no need to tell me. But you guys should never do this to anyone again because you never know how much it might end up hurting someone else’s feelings.”

Alhaitham stood upright and turned to face you directly. He crossed his arms over his chest and slightly cocked his head like he always did when he was thinking about something you said.

After a momentary pause, he asked: “What do you mean?”

“I mean that you shouldn’t toy with someone’s feelings as a prank. It’s never actually funny for anyone but the people who orchestrate such a prank. No matter if the other person reciprocates the feelings or whether they believe the statement, they always end up being the one who is being ridiculed.” You explained as rationally as possible, which was a stark contrast to the tempest that was raging both inside of your heart and mind.

“Especially when the person hoped to hear those exact words for the longest time, too…” You added. It wasn't more than an utterance under your breath - so quietly it was barely audible. But Alhaitham heard nonetheless.

“But I meant everything I said.” He stated matter of factly, seemingly catching on to the fact that you must’ve assumed the wrong things about the whole situation.

“What?! Alhaitham, please, there is no need to add insult to injury. You had your fun now–”

“No.” He gently took your hands in his, exhaling heavily. “Archons, you weren’t supposed to find out like this.”

He rarely swore which made the impact of his words even stronger.

“I wanted to tell you face to face and was waiting for the right moment to do so. But, just know that every word you heard and everything I said back at the tavern was the truth. No bet or scheme made me say it. Not that anyone would be able to make me say these things in the first place.” He sighed once more, giving your hands an emphasizing squeeze. “I meant it.”

“You did?”

“Every word.”

You felt the blood rush to your face and immediately lowered your gaze in an attempt to hide your flusteredness.

“Had I known this would happen, I would’ve told you everything right from the start. I don’t like how this went now but–”, he moved his hands up to cup your face. His beautiful turquoise eyes trained on no one but you.

“I’m absolutely certain I like you. You drive me crazy. And I love and hate how much you occupy every waking thought of mine because I can’t focus on anything when you’re around. And when you’re not, you’re still always on my mind. So please – be mine.”

Do not repost, copy, translate or edit - © dustofthedailylife || reblogs, comments, and asks about Genshin or my fics are always greatly appreciated and motivate me! Maple dividers are mine - do not copy.

#genshin impact #astronetwrk #genshin fanfic #genshin x reader #alhaitham x reader #al haitham x reader #alhaitham x y/n #genshin fluff #genshin crack #genshin alhaitham #genshin x y/n #genshin impact fanfic #genshin drabbles #genshin scenarios #genshin brainrot #genshin headcanons #🍁 dust writes #🍁彡 gi

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letmetellyouaboutmyfeels · 8 months ago

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As if I wasn't already exhausted enough this morning...

It's been brought to my attention that people are taking my fanfics, editing them, and sharing them around. I don't have the words to describe how not okay this is. If you don't like something about my fanfic, then I'm sorry to hear that, but there are a lot of other fics out there you can read instead.

I put time and effort and care into my writing, as does every writer. To take my work without permission and change it feels like someone just punched me in the gut. Frankly it makes me not want to share my work at all and to take down all the writing I do have up, because why should I share anything with people if all they're going to do is decide it's not good enough and they're going to do what they want with it and make it "better"?

And before anyone comes at me, this is not what a transformative work does. This is not the same as fanfiction. I'm fucking exhausted from working two eleven hour shifts over the weekend so my brain is not working so someone smarter and more articulate than I am can explain why. I'm tired.

This genuinely makes me want to take down all my works and not share anything new. It's very simple, kiddos: Don't like it? Don't read it. You will miss out on some fanfics that way, just like you'll miss out on some films, or books, or TV shows. I've missed out on really good fic, novels, films, etc, for the same reason. We all do. It's a part of life. Stuff will sometimes have things in it that you don't like. Skim those parts, fast-forward those scenes, grin and bear it, or just go and read/watch something else.

Normally I would make this post unrebloggable but I worry other writers in this fandom might experience the same thing and not realize it. So people are welcome to reblog this. Anyone who's an ass on it will be blocked, no second chances.

Just. Don't do this guys. Holy shit don't do this. What the actual fuck.

#lincoln writes stuff #911 abc #911 fanfic #yes unfortunately tagging the fandom since that's the fandom it happened in #I'm just #holy fuck #genuinely I want to message every writer I know in this fandom #even if we've never spoken #to like... warn them this is apparently a thing #I wish I could make my brain work right now but I'm so fucking braindead #I'm working three jobs and this is my fun relax safe space except NOT ANYMORE 'CAUSE PEOPLE ARE BEING DICKS #just... don't fucking do this what the FUCK is wrong with you #actual CHILDREN are more respectful holy fuck

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lynaferns · 1 year ago

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I'm seeing a lot of people saying stuff like

"it makes me sad that he's mean :(" "I'm scared that my au is not accurate anymore" or "I got my interpretation of him wrong"

And I think you should put this new information about the DCA at a side for a moment, go talk to friends and info dump about your original AUs and ideas, brighten up a little bit that spark that makes you create your art and just have fun talking about it. Because the fact that he's sassy in one game doesn't mean that that's the only trait to his personality now.

He can be mean, he can be anxious, short tempered, good intended, caring, dramatic, a little bitch, a cinnamon roll... He can be all the things you can come up with, in this fandom he's always been all of the above and more in different ways, in different stories. And you can still write him the way you want, people can still interpret him the way they want, don't let canon or other people or your own thoughts stop you from creating your AUs.

Instead use it to get inspired, get new ideas and create new stories. They turned the tables, you can turn them back up. He can be mean because of the virus but get softer to you with time, you can make a story about self-confidence and worth, he can hate and love his job simultaneously for different reasons.

The AUs where he's soft and caring are still going to be there, the fics where he's good with kids and patient are still going to get written. Keep writing those fics, don't stop just because canon says otherwise. I stopped writing my steampunk AU when the mimic was revealed to be burntrap and not Afton because "it wasn't canon anymore so my AU is not accurate anymore" and I'm still with that thorn stuck in the back of my head for not continuing writing even if it wasn't canon accurate anymore. Because I actually got excited about writing that AU but for the way my brain see things "if it wasn't canon accurate it wasn't worth it" and let me tell you that's a shit of mentality.

So please

Please please please please

Don't give up on your stories and creativity like that.

The immense variety of characterizations and AUs is one of the pillars of this community and one of the coolest things. The fact that you can come up with any concept for these two dorks and make it an investing story and you have a whole catalog to choose from what you're going to see next. Don't let that stop.

I love this community even if I don't understand it sometimes and I barely interact, I love seeing people having fun making their AUs, going nuts making fanarts and gifting art to each other just because it makes them happy.

Don't let this limit you.

Now I don't care how you share this, if rebloging, or reposting it, or rewriting the whole thing but shorter in your own post but just share this feeling with the community. It would be so sad if all the things that makes this place special crumbled because people aren't confident anymore in how they write the DCA because of a game that came out yesterday.

#for me. I see the hw2 Sun as the piece I was missing for my interpretation and I feel it will help me write him better and more comfortable #but I'm also a BIG. SUCKER. for a Sun that goes soft or a Sun that a bit sassy because of stress and when he gets to know you he softens #I just like people getting along in fiction #help wanted 2 spoilers #help wanted 2 #dca fandom #fnaf daycare attendant #long post #lyna rambles

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thecatchat · 1 year ago

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Ace the bat hound becomes a ghost dog because he's such a good boy and dedicated to justice. Inspired off of this post here.

But, instead of being found out by Danny, it's the batfam's usual mystic contacts, like Constantine, that discover and reunite Ace and the Bats. Constantine muttering about how annoyingly resilient the particular brand of ghost is. From the infinite realms, Ghosts from there are a headache and a half to get rid of but portals, information, and really anything about it is far and few between since no one's been able to get into contact since some fight a couple centuries ago (Dark being sealed away). Justice Leauge Dark promises to let the family know if they hear anything or find any relevant information about the Infinite Realms, but since literally nothing has been heard from them in so long, no one really knows anything off the top of their head about it.

While Ace is technically supposed to be hidden away at home, he ends up sneaking along one day to help deal with Joker after the clown kidnaps Nightwing and/or Robin (Damian). The photos and videos of the event are blurry and smudged, but word of mouth gets around, and soon, the entirety of Gotham is celebrating the return of Bat Hound the Ghost, the very good boy back from the grave.

Meanwhile, things are going great for the family, just having Ace back makes everyone feel just a bit better (because Ace is a full ghost with a core and is helping to filter the currupt ectoplasm called Lazarus Water with physical touch). Jason is over more often and enjoys flopping on the couch with Ace for a quick snooze, Dick is over the moon to fight with Ace by his side again, Damian makes sure Ace is properly introduced to the rest of the animals that live at the mansion, Tim actually falls asleep semi-regularly now after Ace starts bothering him about being awake, and everyone else is reaping the benefits of having a bat trained dog that seems to be able to sniff out when they need a dog to pet.

Then these guys in white show up.

Ace had seemingly been on edge all night and when it was time to turn in for the night and let Signal come out for the day, Ace follows along, not listening to any command to stay home. Some of the others stay ready in the cave but they let Signal and Ace go out with the promise to call the moment something big happens.

Now, up until then, Ace's powers had been tallied up to: intangibility, invisibility, and occasional hovering/heightened jump. Every other exercise responded out as normal dog (except for the whole being dead thing). Maybe slightly higher emotional intelligence, but some dogs are just Like That. Through some tests, they do find that Ace has a new found hatred of Lazarus Water, but they don't find any obvious weakness that isn't a banishment spell which is as worrying as it is a relief.

So when these white suits start shooting using guns that glow the same green as Ace in Signals' vision and the shoots hit? Ace yelps in pain before seemingly barking out some kind of energy ball? And barreling into a wall so hard it cracked from another shot? Every single alarm that Signal can think to trip gets set off.

But not before one of the suits (one of the many suits, they're terrible fighters but there's just so many of them and two of them) takes out something that looks like a thermos and points it at Ace.

Within a second, Ace is gone.

Signal is so shocked he almost gets hit himself by the dozens of shots of energy blasts now aimed at him. He can't get to the white van in time before it speeds off.

----

I'm going to end this part here. I'm going to continue this in the reblogs but I also want people to take a crack at this story themselves! If you're inspired by this please put your thoughts or stories in the reblogs or tags!

#dpxdc #ace the bathound #dcxdc #dp x dc prompt #continued in a reblog #feel free to continue

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theconstitutionisgayculture · 5 months ago

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Indefinite hiatus

I was toying with writing up a long post about what running this blog has meant to me over the years and why I'm stepping away for the foreseeable future, but that feels too dramatic for what's really just me saying "I'm not going to be on tumblr for at least the rest of the year". So, I'll just say I'm not going to be on tumblr for at least the rest of the year.

Okay, actually I have a bunch more to say, but it'll be under the cut.

Politics sucks. And paying attention to it, even in the reduced way I've been paying attention to it over the last few years, is hard. You end up spending so much of your supposedly free time thinking about things you can't change, getting mad about things you can't change, and getting depressed when the people who can change things just keep going in the wrong direction. Even when good things happen, it's just a matter of a few days before something bad happens once again. And vice versa. It's an endless cycle of hope, despair, resignation. Rinse and repeat, and triple speed that cycle during an election year. And I'm tired of it. I'm tired of spending every other year worried about what's going to happen on one day in November. I'm tired of hearing a piece of news and automatically composing a post about it or running through 20 different responses I might give to asks I might get about it in my head.

Everyone I know who doesn't pay attention to politics (or at least doesn't run a social media page dedicated to it) seems to enjoy their live a lot more than I currently do. Which sounds way more dramatic than what's actually going on, which is mainly that I want to get to a place where I just don't care. I want the world and its problems to flow off my back instead of weighing it down. I want to stop thinking about what people on the internet might say about something I haven't even posted yet. And that can't happen while I'm tied to this blog. So I'll be staying away from it for at least the rest of the year.

I did have a good time with this blog. I've met a bunch of really awesome people, some who are sadly no longer with us (RIP Blue), and some who I think will carry on the "fight" way better than I ever did. This isn't an admission of defeat, or pessimism about the election. Even if Trump wins, and I truly think he will if we have a fair election, I still won't be back this year. But I'll still vote and I'll still be proud that my silly little tumblr blog had an impact on some people's lives. I may not have the reach of a Tucker Carlson or a Glenn Beck, but I've gotten a lot of messages from people who said they changed their minds about an issue, or even politics in general, because of things I said, and that counts for something. If you guys take anything away from me, I want it to be this: Even the smallest impact matters. It doesn't matter if you only ever reach one person and then stop, reaching that one person is enough. Changing one vote is enough. Changing one mind is enough.

To all my mutuals, you guys are the best. I truly hope you have wonderful lives and I'm sad I won't get to see your names on my dash everyday anymore. To anyone I've ever followed or reblogged from, I couldn't have had a blog without you, so thank you. Yes, even the leftiod psychos, XD. To everyone else, find your own balance and never give into despair and never listen to people who tell you not to try. Even a failed effort is still more meaningful than sitting back and mocking people for trying to improve even the smallest thing about themselves or the world around them.

I won't be logging back in after I post this, so any messages or asks you send, I won't see. I'll still be active (or as active as I ever am) in my discord, so feel free to join there if you want to. It should still be my pinned post, but if it isn't, I'll edit this with a new invite link.

And that's all I've got to say for now.

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yumeka-sxf · 1 year ago

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Spy x Family CODE: White - FULL MOVIE SUMMARY [SPOILERS]

Now that I've finally read through the entire novelization of CODE: White, I'm ready to share a full summary of everything that happens - basically spoil the whole movie for those interested 😅

But before I get to the summary, a few notes:

I didn't translate every line from the novelization as that would have taken way too long. I go into more detail for scenes I was particularly interested in (like Twiyor scenes), or scenes that were easy to translate. But I still made sure to mention everything that's important to the story. If I gloss over some parts more than others, it's either because they were difficult to translate, or I didn't think they were that important. But even so, the "summary" still ended up being way longer than I anticipated!

I have not seen the movie myself yet, so everything in the summary below is based on the novelization only (of which there were two versions released, with slight differences between them). Obviously the novelization is an accurate adaptation, but there is a chance that a few things are different between the novelization and the actual movie, and/or the novelization may have left out some dialogue or minor scenes.

And lastly, it goes without saying but BEWARE OF MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW! Not only that, but please be considerate of where you share these spoilers. Remember to properly tag this post if you reblog it and think twice before you share any of this information on other social media. Most people don't want to be spoiled to this degree!

Again MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW!

The movie starts with an introduction to the characters – we see Twilight carrying out a mission where he has to disguise himself as someone's wife. Meanwhile, Yor is doing an assassination mission. They both come home at the same time and are greeted by Anya. Bond has a vision of Anya and Loid getting sick from Yor's cooking, so Anya suggests that Loid cook instead.

At Eden, Henderson tells the students about the cooking contest and how the principal will be the judge. Loid is on the roof, reading Henderson's lips. A falcon flies overhead and drops him a note with an F cipher. He goes to meet with Sylvia at one of the WISE hideouts. She informs him that she has another big mission for him, but when he objects that he couldn't take on something so big in the midst of Operation Strix, she hands him a photo of a man and child. She explains that the man is Major Depple of the Army Intelligence Department who has a lot of important people backing him, and since they hadn't made enough progress with Operation Strix, the higher-ups decided to pass it onto him.

As Loid leaves, he bumps into Fiona. Her hat gets blown away with the wind and he reaches to catch it, just as Yor and her coworkers are across the street. From where Yor sees them, it looks like Loid is kissing "the mysterious woman." Loid and Fiona have a fake conversation – he compliments her hat, she says it was made overseas, etc – while they're actually doing their secret "spy talk" (like they did when she first visited him at home). He tells her what's happening with Operation Strix, and she tells him that she had tried to warn him that it shouldn't have been left up to ordinary citizens who don't know anything, and that she should take on the wife role. Meanwhile, Camilla and co. tell Yor about the three signs of cheating: one, an increase in travelling; two, a change in clothing taste (to match the taste of his new lover); and three, suddenly giving gifts (because he feels guilty).

Later that evening, Yor is still feeling anxious about Loid's possible "lover." When Anya gets home, she tells them about the cooking competition. Loid recalls from his data that the principal's favorite is the melemele pastry. If Anya could get a stella from the competition, that could help get him back into Operation Strix. He says that he read in the school newspaper that the melemele in Frejis is supposedly the best, so they should go there and try it for themselves via a family vacation over the weekend. Yor thinks back to the "increase in travelling" sign of cheating that Camilla told her about. Loid tells her that only families are allowed at the Frejis restaurant they're headed to, so she decides to go, though she's still conflicted about whether this is actually a sign of cheating or not.

They have some family time on the train to Frejis, though Loid still makes Anya study. They play cards and get food (Anya has a corn dog, Yor has a sandwich, Loid has a hamburger). After coming back from the bathroom, Anya notices a key by one of the sinks. Bond is with her, and through him she sees a vision of the future – in the vision, she goes to car 8 and opens a trunk with the key while overhearing two men mention that it's a key to a treasure of the Republic.

Back in the train car, Loid brings up Anya's terrible handwriting while Yor mentions that they had practiced handwriting the other day. Loid says that Yor's motherly side is really coming out, which causes Yor to get flustered and makes her think that it's not her skills as a mother he could be dissatisfied with but perhaps her skills as a wife. She gets even more flustered when she notices a couple across the way kissing and starts nervously moving her lips, to which Loid asks if something's wrong. She stammers that her lipstick didn't warm up and is itchy, then says she's going to look for Anya since she's taking a long time.

Meanwhile, Anya and Bond find the luggage compartment and locate the trunk from Bond's vision. When Anya goes to grab it, Bond tries to stop her. At first she thinks that she shouldn't just do whatever she wants with other people's stuff, but then she remembers that the men in the vision said it was a treasure of the Republic, a treasure that could possibly help achieve world peace. She opens the trunk and is disappointed to find just a chocolate in it. But when she hears the two men, Domitri and Luca, open the door, she gets startled and accidently knocks the chocolate out of the trunk. It bounces off of Bond's nose, and when she tries to grab it, it falls into her mouth. She hides when Luca and Domitri come in to look for the trunk.

They describe the ship sticker on it, and when they find that it's been opened and the chocolate stolen, they say they're going to kill whoever took it so the secret won't get out. When Anya accidently makes a noise, the men take notice. Domitri takes a flower out of his pocket and points it towards the dim light in the car, saying that his "flower fortune telling" will tell him who's hiding. They then notice Anya escaping into car 7 and give chase. They lock her in car 6, but when she starts screaming for Papa and Mama, Yor breaks open the locked door. She asks Anya who the two men are and Anya says that they're chocolate thieves who were being mean to her. Yor beats them up (after telling Anya to cover her eyes) just as the train arrives at Frejis station (Anya seems to feel bad that she sicced Yor on them when she was the actual chocolate thief). When they get off the train, Loid says that they should start heading to their destination (as Yor starts building a snowman). After they get their luggage and leave, Luca and Domitri emerge from the car they were in and say they need to contact the colonel.

The shop that has the melemele is called "Restaurant Rubble and Bonds." Since pets aren't allowed in the restaurant, they leave Bond outside when they go inside to eat. After ordering food along with the melemele, the waitress tells them that they're getting the last melemele. Bond watches them from the window, but then a waitress comes over and feeds him the special pet plate, which he happily eats. As the Forgers are eating, Loid tells Anya that she shouldn't eat with her hands, and that using a knife and fork are proper manners. Yor watches and notices the turtleneck sweater Loid is wearing, which makes her realize it's something that he never wears. She then thinks of Camilla's second sign of cheating, a change in clothing taste. The chef comes over and tells them how the war in Frejis was mostly fought in the sky, and the aircraft displayed at the front of the station belonged to a two-man team famous for shooting down planes during the war.

There's a brief scene where Yuri overhears his coworkers at the SSS talking about Frejis, and he of course wants to go since he knows Yor is there now. But the boss won't let him, so he makes a bit of a scene.

Back at the restaurant, the chef continues to talk about the war and how he lost everything at that time. His decision behind making a restaurant catering to families was so people could experience the homemade food that he remembered his mom used to make. Loid can't help but relate the chef's backstory to his own. The melemele is finally ready and brought to the table.

Just as Anya is about to dig in, Colonel Snidel and some other soldiers enter the restaurant. The waitress and chef try to tell them that only families are allowed, but Snidel says that the military have authority in this area, even when it comes to food, and could close down the restaurant if they wanted to. They order the melemele, and when they're told that there isn't any left, one of the soldiers takes the melemele from Anya. Loid politely tells the soldiers that his daughter was really looking forward to eating it and if they could possibly order a different dessert. Snidel asks if they're tourists that came here to eat the melemele. Loid replies that they travel around trying delicious food. Snidel challenges Loid to a competition – if Loid wins, he'll give them back the melemele. The competition involves trying the three cakes that were placed on the table and correctly naming every type of sugar in them. Even though Loid correctly names them, Snidel also mentions the exact number of grams, making his answers the most accurate. Everyone's bummed that Loid lost, but he says that they could try coming back again. However, the chef tells them that they won't have more until Monday, which is when the Forgers have to be back in Berlint for the cooking competition. Yor asks the chef that if they provide their own ingredients, would he make it for them, and he agrees.

The Forgers go to the Frejis marketplace to get the ingredients from the list that the chef provided. Having already memorized the list, Loid moves at super speed to every shop and quickly finds most of the ingredients. When he goes looking for the orange syrup, a man from a cosmetic shop asks if he'll buy one of the many lipsticks there for his wife. He picks one out, mentioning how back on the train Yor had said that her lipstick wasn't working out and if this one is a nice color. She's embarrassed at first, but then agrees that it's a nice color and accepts…but then she's reminded of Camilla's last sign of cheating: suddenly giving a gift (meanwhile Loid is just thinking how putting on the happy couple appearance is part of the mission). With all three signs of cheating having taken place, Yor says that she's going to the bathroom and dejectedly walks away. Loid wonders if she's just tired from the trip and if she'll be okay. Anya then calls Loid over to a shooting game booth that has the orange syrup as one of the prizes. After attempting the game and failing, Anya reads the booth owner's mind and realizes it's rigged. Loid gets suspicious as well and is able to masterfully shoot down the orange syrup while also exposing the owner's scam.

Loid is ready to look for the last ingredient, but then Anya runs off to ride the mini train. Yor rejoins them, having put on the lipstick while she was in the bathroom. Loid says it suits her and asks if she'd like to get a drink somewhere. They go to a café booth where Loid orders coffee. But Yor, thinking how she needs to confirm the whole cheating thing with Loid and can't open up without the help of alcohol, orders several cups of heated wine. She finally gets drunk enough to ask Loid if he has a lover.

From the train, Anya looks over to see Yor grab Loid's scarf and pull him to the ground. Anya freaks out about "Papa and Mama flirting." They're both on the ground now, with Yor hovering over Loid before she finally passes out. She wakes up on a bench, where Loid asks if she's okay. She apologizes for what she did, but thinks that Loid will definitely want a divorce after what happened. When Anya reads her mind, she thinks of what Becky told her about divorces and how they cause families to fall apart. She then hears the ferris wheel attendant calling for people to ride, saying that it'll be a happy, "flirty" experience. Anya tells Loid and Yor that she wants to ride the ferris wheel, but then ushers them onto the gondola without joining them, much to their surprise. She tells them to get "flirty," to Loid's dismay. Yor tells Bond to look after Anya.

Yor realizes that she must look really bleak right now and it's making Anya worry. Loid asks if she's okay and she again apologizes for her behavior earlier. Loid replies that she's been acting weird for a while, causing Yor to finally admit that she saw him with his "lover"…someone with a large hat. Tears start welling in her eyes, so she covers her face with her hands to hide them. Realizing that the person she's referring to was Fiona, Loid explains that she wasn't a lover, just someone who needed directions to the art museum. Feeling embarrassed about her mistake, Yor looks away from Loid and out the window. She sees Anya and Bond below, the former waving happily at her. Yor waves back before mentioning if Loid could want a divorce, to which he light-heartily replies "no way." Yor says that she's lacking in a lot of ways, not just as a mother but as Loid's wife. Loid then takes her hands in his, looks straight into her eyes and reminds her of the promise he made via their marriage proposal.

He says the marriage vows again before stating that he has no intention of breaking his promise. As Loid gets closer to her, Yor's face reddens and her heart races until she finally breaks – she smacks Loid on the cheek, sending him flying out of the gondola (which had reached the ground). But he adjusts himself in midair and lands gracefully on his feet. Yor grabs their belongings from the gondola and hurries out. Upon seeing Loid's swollen cheek, Anya panics that Papa and Mama were fighting and the Forger family is over. Loid and Yor object to this, with Loid saying that they weren't fighting. Anya then says that they were flirting, but they object to that as well, faces red with embarrassment. Anya just grins at them.

The clock tower bell chimes, signaling 5 o' clock. When Loid muses that it got so late already, Yor apologizes that it was due to her passing out from drinking too much. Loid asks if she and Anya will go back to the hotel while he gets the remaining ingredient, cherry liquor. He thinks to himself how it's something rare that would not likely be sold at a store, so he'd have to get it through illegal means, which means that Yor and Anya can't accompany him.

Snidel gets out of his military vehicle in front of a flying battleship. He's greeted by several soldiers who tell him that route negotiations with the Arbo Republic have ended and adjustments to Type F have been completed. Snidel suddenly shoots and kills one of the operations leaders, claiming he's a traitor who leaked military information to WISE. Luca and Domitri then arrive and inform him that the microfilm was eaten.

Meanwhile, Sylvia meets with a bunch of WISE agents at their Berlint hideout. She tells them that they lost contact with their Frejis agent, suspecting that Snidel has taken action. She says that if the microfilm reaches the Arbo Republic, it could lead to an all-out war between the East and West. She doesn't think their agent had gotten the microfilm, but she knows Twilight is currently in Frejis, so he may be their only hope. She orders a couple of the male agents to meet with Twilight at Frejis and get the microfilm. However, Fiona interrupts and requests that Sylvia leave the mission to her instead. Sylvia objects, but Fiona is already leaving the room and on her way, thinking over and over to herself "A mission with senpai, a mission with senpai, a mission with senpai…"

Back at Frejis, Loid looks everywhere for the cherry liquor – he sneaks into a moonshine factory and even the wine cellar of a wealthy man, but still can't find it. He calls Franky at his tabacco shop in Berlint, inadvertently interrupting Franky's flirting with a pretty girl. He asks Franky if he can get the cherry liquor and that he needs it by tomorrow morning. Franky says he'll try but it would take him half a day to even get to Frejis, but Loid had already hung up.

At the hotel, Yor unpacks while Anya admires the hotel amenities ("Hotel TV!" "Hotel toilet!" "Hotel bed!") She then takes her toys out of her bag – among them are crayons, a sketchbook, a rubber duckie, and a toy gun. She pretends to shoot Bond with the gun, then points the gun at Yor and asks if she's the "boss." At first Yor is uneasy about partaking in Anya's game, but then she gives in and pretends to be the boss who wants the treasure. This makes Anya even more fired up and she says "Let's battle, polite lady boss!" The three of them continue playing.

Loid returns to the hotel and finds Anya's drawings of the ferris wheel and shooting game booth on the table. Anya's sleeping on the sofa while Yor puts a blanket over her. Loid says that he's going out again because he found the liquor at a neighboring town. Since it's a bit far, he's taking a car that he's borrowing from the hotel. Anya wakes up and calls Loid a liar since he said he would be back soon but came back so late. He apologizes, but then she reads his mind as he thinks about the fact that if Anya doesn't get a stella soon, Operation Strix and their family will be over. Anya says she wants to come along with Loid, but when he turns her down, she sadly goes back to the bedroom with Bond. When Loid starts to leave, asking Yor to take care of Anya, Yor asks him how many seats there are in the car he borrowed. He answers five. She then asks if they can all go together, since it's a family trip.

In the bedroom, Anya hugs Bond while thinking about the sad state of the family. Bond suddenly has a vison of the cherry liquor behind the cash register of a store at the plaza. At first Anya wants to tell Loid about it, but then she thinks that her secret would be revealed if she did (Loid would say "How did you know that? You can read minds? And Bond can see the future?") After realizing she can't tell him about it, she looks towards the window...

Meanwhile, Yor tells Loid how happy it made Yuri to be with her all day for special occasions like birthdays and family outings, and that it's the same with Anya. Loid thinks back to how happy Anya was when they were doing things together on the trip, such as playing trump, playing in the snow, and eating at the restaurant. He picks up the toy gun on the table and thinks back to how grateful Anya was for being able to play "spy" at the old castle. As he returns the gun to the table, Yor tells him how Anya was looking forward to so many things on this family trip, like eating sweets and playing together. She says she understands Anya's feelings since she's made Yuri feel lonely before. She tells Loid that Anya was really looking forward to being with him and how lonely it is to be separated from your family. She asks again if they could all go together to get the liquor at the next town, even though it's passed Anya's bedtime. When he starts thinking of the possible harm of bringing Anya with him, he pushes those thoughts aside and agrees with Yor.

Suddenly, room service knocks at the door. When Yor says that she didn't order any, Loid looks through the peep hole and sees Fiona disguised as a maid. He then says that he forgot to order a large bathrobe and steps outside. In the hotel corridor, he asks Fiona why she's here. She repeats "room service" while actually saying "it's a mission" in spy talk. Loid says that she can talk normally since it's just the two of them, and asks if she could be quick since he's also on a mission. She starts blabbering internally about how she's alone with him – LOVE!

Back in the room, Yor hears a noise from the bedroom, and when she goes to look, the window is open and both Anya and Bond are gone. Meanwhile, Fiona explains the mission about the microfilm to Loid. When she mentions Colonel Snidel, Loid thinks back to his encounter with Snidel and the military back at the restaurant. Yor suddenly comes out of the room and tells Loid that Anya ran away through the window. She had left a note behind, but when Loid goes to read it, the handwriting is extremely messy – he can make out the word "sorry" (misspelled).

Anya and Bond arrive at the shop in the plaza from Bond's vision. She buys the bottle of liquor and happily walks with Bond back to the hotel, thinking that now the Forger family will be okay. At the same time, the military is looking for girls that match Anya's description, using a picture that Luca drew of her. Bond starts barking when he notices Luca and Domitri pull up in a car behind Anya. Anya and Bond try to run away, but Luca pulls Anya into the car. Bond bites Luca's arm but gets pushed away. As they drive off with Anya in the car, they run over a can in the road that hits Bond in the head. Bond howls sadly as he watches the car disappear. Back at the battleship, Snidel says that it will depart as soon as they get the microfilm.

Loid and Yor run through town calling for Anya. They find Bond collapsed on the side of the road. Loid asks if he's okay and if Anya was with him. Bond barks and tries to gesture about what happened, but Loid and Yor can't understand him. However, Loid notices something in Bond's mouth – Luca's armband that he had bitten off. Loid recognizes it and is in disbelief that Anya got caught up in the military.

Then Fiona, still disguised as the hotel maid, pulls up in a car nearby and calls to Loid saying that he dropped something. In "spy talk" however, she says that he should prioritize getting the microfilm over Operation Strix. Loid thinks for a minute, then says loudly (so Yor can hear) "Ma'am, I would like to ask a favor…"

Meanwhile, Anya is brought before Snidel. Upon seeing him, she shouts that he's the guy who ate her dessert. He says that more important than the melemele, she ate their chocolate. She then states that he's the boss of those thieves. Luca and Domitri reprimand her for not using polite speech in front of the colonel. Snidel asks if she's been to the toilet since. Anya reads his mind as he thinks about how they hid the microfilm in the chocolate, and it's better to wait until she poops it out before killing her. Anya then realizes that the chocolate she ate on the train had the "treasure" inside, and if she poops, she'll be killed. Anya then nervously says that she's so cute that poop has never come out of her body, but then admits that she's lying upon seeing Snidel's cold gaze. Snidel instructs Luca and Domitri to take Anya with them and inform him if she poops. Anya begins holding her butt and starts shaking in fear. Domitri asks if she has to go, but she says she's just cold. She knows she mustn't poop or she'll be killed, but the more she thinks about it, the more she has to go!

Back at the Frejis plaza in front of the station, Loid boards the old fighter plane that was parked there. He's able to operate the communication device and listen in on signals from Snidel's flying battleship. He manages to catch some of Luca and Domitri's conversation with Anya, including them saying that she's in this mess because she ate the microfilm. Upon realizing that Anya ate the microfilm, he breaks into a cold sweat, but quickly regains his composure as he gets off the plane and meets with Yor, who was waiting worriedly outside. He tells her that he thinks Anya is with the military, since he heard from the radio signals that they seem to have taken custody of a girl around five years old. Yor asks why Anya would be with the military. Loid knows that he didn't have any time to come up with an explanation, so he cuts the power cable on the plane and climbs back into the cockpit. As the propellers begin spinning, he asks Yor to stand back and tells her that he'll return soon. Yor thinks back to the two men who attacked Anya on the train and realizes that they might have been from the military, but she can't tell Loid about that or he'd know that she beat them up. She recalls what she said to Loid earlier: that they should all go together because it's a family trip. As the plane leaves, Yor jumps onto it and forces open the door at the bottom. Loid continues to pilot the plane into the Frejis sky, unaware that Yor is also on board.

Back at the WISE hideout, Sylvia thinks to herself that "the fate of the world depends on getting that microfilm…we're counting on you, Twilight."

Back at the battleship, Anya is trying hard to resist the urge to go to the bathroom. She moves her body back and forth to try and hold off the urge, which only makes Luca ask if she has to go. She says no and that she's just doing a dance she learned at school.

Meanwhile, Fiona infiltrates the Frejis air traffic control so she can communicate with Loid on the plane. She tells him the location of Snidel's battleship. Loid compliments her on being able to get the information so quickly, causing her to say that she's ready to be his lifelong partner anytime and asks again if he'd let her have the wife role for Operation Strix…but the communication line had already been cut.

Back at the battleship, Anya is still doing her "dance" to resist the urge to poop, but she's practically at her limit (Luca and Domitri had also prepared a duck-shaped potty for her). She's sweating, tearing up, and her stomach is rumbling. When she feels her consciousness wavering, a bright light suddenly fills her eyes. She finds herself standing in a beautiful meadow filled with colorful flowers and poop shaped clouds overhead. She hears a voice and looks up to see a divine-looking old man surrounded by light. He has a poop shaped crown and he's holding a staff with a poop shaped top. He tells her that he's the god of poop.

He says, "You've fought well, warrior Anya. You've tried your best to protect world peace but...enough is enough." He puts his hand on her shoulder. She can feel his compassion flowing through his palms. "Relax your butt and rest, warrior Anya. Let's go to the peaceful garden of the toilet!" Anya tries to fly through the sky like the poop god, but ends up falling into the ocean. However, she's saved by waves of toilet paper that lift her towards a temple lined with statues of the poop god. A toilet is enshrined in front of the statues. The poop god gives a shout, and the toilet paper carrying Anya turns into a giant duck potty. The poop god waves his staff and the duck speeds out of the water, heading towards the bathroom above the alter. The lid of the toilet opens with another shout from the poop god and the duck moves faster. Finally the duck bursts into a ball of light and Anya falls, laughing, into the shining toilet.

Back in reality, Anya finds herself on a bed in a room on the battleship. After hearing her mutter to herself about "what's the god of poop?" Luca excitedly asks if she's ready to poop and puts the duck potty on the bed. As soon as Anya looks at the duck, she comes to her sense and says, "no, I'm good." While Anya stays with Domitri, Luca reports to Snidel that Anya still hasn't pooped yet. Snidel tells him to cut open her stomach. Luca is taken aback by this and tries to protest, but after Snidel presses him, he reluctantly agrees to do it.

Meanwhile, Domitri is trying an exorcism ritual to get Anya to poop – he makes her lay on the bed with a banana, corn, and a pineapple along with coffee beans between them, all the while singing a song about "yellow three." When Luca returns, he asks Domitri what he's doing. Domitri replies that according to his coffee fortune telling, "yellow three" is lucky. Luca then tells him Snidel's orders and asks if Domitri would do it. Since neither of them want to, they decide via rock-paper-scissors, and Domitri wins. Anya reads Luca's mind about how he's going to cut open her stomach while Domitri holds her down. She starts shaking and thinks of Papa and Mama.

Meanwhile, Loid flies the plane close to the battleship and contacts them on the radio. He says that his plane is in a state of emergency due to a fuel system failure and would like to request an emergency landing on the battleship. When one of the soldiers tells Snidel that an unknown aircraft is requesting permission to board, Snidel demands that they shoot it down. Loid steers the plane out of the way of the sudden hail of bullets while Yor, still hiding in the back, hangs on as the plane starts shaking violently.

Back on the battleship, Domitri holds Anya while she screams for Papa and Mama. Luca approaches with a knife.

Back outside, Loid desperately steers the plane to avoid the gunfire from the battleship, including homing missiles. In the back compartment, Yor isn't able to see what's going on, so she thinks to herself that Loid's driving is…rough. Loid manages to dodge the missiles, but one of them explodes next to him, causing the fragments to fall on the plane and damage the left wing. He knows that crashing is inevitable, so he steers the plane towards the battleship. The impact of the plane crashing into the battleship shakes the room where Domitri, Luca, and Anya are in. They all lose their footing and fall, causing Domitri to let go of Anya. She then runs away and through the hallway while they give chase.

Loid jumps out of the cockpit with his bag of spy tools and onto the battleship as the plane crashes. He thinks to himself that he first needs to confirm where Anya is and heads through a narrow passageway. Meanwhile Yor makes her way out of the back part of the plane only to be greeted by a huge gust of wind. She's surprised to be on the outer part of a battleship. She peeks inside the cockpit to look for Loid, but he's not there. She remembers that Loid said Anya was with the military, so she must be on the battleship somewhere. The opening to the bottom of the battleship is too narrow, so she decides to go via the top, breaking into a fast sprint.

The soldiers find the plane wreckage and Snidel gives orders to search for survivors. When one of the soldiers tells him that there's a woman running along the outer part of the battleship, he thinks he's joking. But then he looks at the monitors and sees Yor for himself. He commands that they kill her, since she decided to come aboard using that plane, that makes her an enemy. The turrets at the top of the ship begin firing at Yor, but she swiftly dodges them. One of the soldiers readies a grenade, but she takes off her coat and throws it at him, causing him to lose his balance and fall backwards. When the soldier falls through the deck onto the catwalk, the grenade falls from his hand. Yor gets away just as the grenade explodes, causing the area around the hatch where the soldiers were firing to burst into flames. The soldier watching from the monitor shouts "Explosion on deck 3A!" When she encounters the soldiers, Yor politely says that she came to pick up her husband and daughter, but the soldiers were already unconscious from the explosion. She heads further into the ship. The fire continues to spread through the battleship. Snidel commands the soldiers to go put out the fire, and when asked what to do about the woman, he says to send out Type F.

Meanwhile, Anya is still running away from Luca and Domitri (while still holding her butt). She manages to elude them by slipping into a room without them noticing. She listens by the door, and when she hears that they went off to look for her elsewhere, she breathes a sigh of relief. As she turns around, she notices a toilet in the back of the room. Tears start welling in her eyes…after a long and painful battle, she finally won.

Loid hides in a small room while soldiers are running through the corridors. He wonders to himself what the explosion was and if the plane crash could have possibly damaged the ship's hull. He peeks through a gap in the door and notices an officer who appears to be a captain based on the number of stars on his badge.

After giving orders to the soldiers, the captain walks towards the door. Loid pulls him in, knocks him out, and gags him. He then steps out of the room, now disguised as the captain, wearing his clothes and donning a mask with his face.

The sound of sirens are blaring through the battleship. Yor notices the soldiers desperately trying to put out the fire and apologizes to them. She again says that she came to get her husband and daughter and asks if there's anyone who knows where they are. One of the soldiers looks up and shouts "It's that woman!" The soldiers begin firing at her, but she jumps out of the way, grabs a nearby fire extinguisher and throws it at them, knocking them down like bowling pins. She's confused as to why they're shooting at her, then thinks that they could be part of the bad guy group that attacked Anya on the train. She picks up two knives that the now unconscious soldiers dropped. She then thinks of Anya being in trouble, without anyone protecting her, and her face becomes clouded with anxiety as she tightly grips the knife in her hand.

Meanwhile, Anya happily bursts out of the bathroom with a refreshed look on her face, toilet paper rolling down her feet…only to bump right into Luca and Domitri. Domitri stands proudly with toilet paper around his feet, boasting about his toilet paper fortune telling. Anya's face goes pale. Snidel is informed by one of the soldiers that the child has been secured, and he commands that they bring her to him.

As she continues looking for Loid and Anya, Yor arrives at the entrance to the air cell and pries open the heavy door. She's met with a blast of hot air. The fire has spread all over the spacious room. As she goes further in, she feels a murderous intent behind her. As soon as she starts to look over her shoulder, gatling guns begin firing at her. She jumps out of the way as bullets are showered on her. She goes further down in the air cell just as a gigantic figure appears, slowly moving towards her with heavy footsteps. She politely asks who he is, but Type F doesn't answer. He reaches towards her but Yor kicks him to the ground, only to have more bullets fired at her that she subsequently dodges. She pulls out the knife and pounces on him, managing to knock off his helmet. She asks him to stop attacking but instead he presses his forehead against the knife, making a very inhuman metallic sound, breaking the knife. The arms of his cloak, that had been engulfed in flames, burn off to reveal that he wasn't holding gatling guns, but his arms themselves are guns. The rest of his cloak burns off, revealing a body made entirely of weapons. After he calls Yor an "intruder," she readies the other knife, realizing she has no choice but to fight him.

Meanwhile Loid, still disguised as the captain, gives orders to the soldiers to help them put out the fire. When one of the soldiers asks where the hostage is, Loid questions him and he explains that she's a child about five years old and that officer Domitri took her to the bridge.

At the bridge, Anya is tied and gagged in front of Snidel. Snidel is upset that they missed getting her poop, but Luca says that it could still be in the sewage tanks. Snidel says that it could also still be in her body, which makes Anya even more afraid. Snidel tells them to keep her in the room downstairs and he'll "take care of her" once all the chaos on the battleship is over, while also ominously adding that he brought an extra big knife to enjoy kebobs. He then orders them to go into the sewage tanks and find the microfilm or else he'll cut them like kebobs too.

After leaving Anya in the room, Luca and Domitri grumble about how they're in such a mess because of some greedy kid, and Luca groans that he's still sore from being bitten by the stupid dog. Suddenly Loid, still disguised as the captain, gets the jump on them and knocks them out. He wonders why Anya isn't here since this should be the only bridge on the ship. He enters the room where Snidel is and says that he's going to report on the status of the firefighting operations, but Snidel dismisses him, saying that he's busy now.

In the room below, Anya can read Loid's mind but she can't move or talk due to being tied up and gagged. She realizes that she's tied to a telephone pipe that leads to the room above, so she slams her head against the pipe to get Loid's attention. Just as Loid is deciding to back off so as not to make Snidel suspicious, he hears the banging in the pipe and notices a hatch right below it. He realizes that Anya must be under there, so he pulls off one of the buttons on his uniform and pretends he's going to pick it up when it rolls near the hatch. However, Snidel says "wait, captain" and asks him when he began to smell like...a city. Snidel then immediately shoots at Loid, who manages to dodge, but the bullet grazes the face mask that he's wearing. Snidel continues to fire at Loid, who hides behind a console in the room. Snidel asks if he's the traveler from Rubble and Bonds and says that he shouldn't underestimate the nose of a gourmet like himself. Realizing he's been found out, Loid tears off the captain's mask. Snidel and the other soldiers begin exchanging gunfire with Loid.

Back in the air cell, Type F continues to shoot at Yor, his gatling gun arm having now turned into a grenade launcher. She narrowly dodges his attacks and grabs a fire extinguisher set (with an axe) from the wall. They end up crashing down through the floor, with Yor slamming the axe onto his chest as hard as she can. However, this only reveals a firearm magazine in his chest hatch. The magazine sends bullets into the gatling gun. He aims at Yor again but she jumps away in time. As they stare each other down in the flame filled room, she wonders what she can do against an enemy who can't be damaged by knives or axes.

Meanwhile, Loid continues to exchange gunfire with Snidel and his soldiers. Snidel opens an attaché case with a gas mask and grenade that he calls "Type G." Anya reads Snidel's mind about the grenade being a poison gas grenade that he's been developing and wants to test out. She starts panicking, trying desperately to break free from her binds so she can warn Loid about the poison gas. An image of Loid covered in wounds as he tries to save her flashes in her mind as she thinks "It's Anya's turn to save you!"

Snidel pulls out the pin from the Type G and throws it over to the console where Loid is hiding…just as Anya breaks free. As the rope suddenly breaks, she falls and rolls across the floor, hitting her head against a console in the back of the room. A green light illuminates on the console. Suddenly, the windows in the bridge open and gas starts getting blown all over, much to the confusion of Snidel and the soldiers. Loid uses this opportunity to make a move.

As the gas eventually leaves the room through the open windows, Snidel's men are shocked at what they see through the dissipating gas – their leader Snidel wrestling with…another Snidel! One Snidel tells them to shoot the imposter while the other says that he's the real one. Loid (disguised as Snidel) thinks to himself that since Snidel is the only one with a good nose, he just has to fool the others. Snidel brandishes his knife and threatens to tear off Loid's "imposter skin" and turn it into pork scratching. But Loid gets the upper hand and manages to grab Snidel and cause him to lose his balance, saying that his "imposter" skin isn't so flimsy that it could be cut off by the likes of Snidel. He wraps his left arm around Snidel's neck and tightens his grip, causing Snidel to drop the knife in his hand.

The soldiers are still confused about which is the real one as Snidel's body falls to the floor. Loid says "Do you think I'd lose to a fake," fooling the soldiers into thinking he's the real one. He tells them that they're to head to the Arbo Republic as soon as possible and that they're abandoning the ship. He commands them to use the land route instead. Carrying the body of the real Snidel, the soldiers leave with shouts of "all personnel abandon ship!" When he's finally alone, Loid takes off his Snidel disguise.

Meanwhile, Type F's right arm is overheating but he tells Yor it's no use waiting until he runs out of bullets. Even though his chest plate was torn off earlier, all Yor has left is a broken knife…until she feels around in her pocket and pulls out the lipstick that Loid had bought her. She lowers the knife and tells Type F "this is your last warning, please stand aside. I only came here to get my husband and daughter." But Type F just says that they should all perish together along with the future of the East and West. He then readies another round of bullets. Yor dodges and makes a wide circle around him, dragging the lipstick along the floor. She slashes at his chest with the knife, causing the knife to break. As he jeers that a knife won't work on him, he looks confused for the first time when he notices a line drawn around him with the lipstick, leading up to his chest. She says that she heard that lipstick is half oil. He tries to shoot at her again but it's too late…the flames along the railing run down the lines of lipstick, igniting the weapons embedded in his body, causing him to explode. After confirming that he's been destroyed, Yor continues on her way.

Back on the bridge, Loid opens the hatch to the door where Anya is and jumps down. She's overjoyed to see him as he asks if she's okay. She clings to him and buries her face in his chest. Just then, something falls out of her pochette – the cherry liquor. She tells him it's what Papa was looking for and he realizes that's why she ran away from the hotel. Upon realizing this, he can't help but smile, and Anya smiles too when she reads the thoughts he won't say. Just then they hear a loud explosion. Loid holds onto Anya as the ship shakes from the explosion. "Anyway, we better get out of here" he says.

Meanwhile, Yor opens the hatch at the top of the air cell and makes her way to the outer part of the airship where she sees Loid and Anya. They're both surprised to see her. "Mama!" Anya says as she runs to Yor, who gently hugs her while asking if they're both alright.

Loid asks the same of Yor while also asking why she's here. After hesitating a bit, she admits that she came on Loid's plane and that since it was an "outing," that they should have gone together. She then asks if the people on the airship are actually the military. Loid pauses since he can't tell her the real explanation, but then Anya speaks up about how she ate their important chocolate on the train and that's why they were after her. Loid thinks to himself about how they must have hid the microfilm in the chocolate, but he can't tell that to Yor. So he says that chocolate theft is rampant in cold regions because people believe it will keep them warm...they'd even steal from a military ship. Yor believes him and comments that there's a lot of scary people in the world. They both scold Anya for what she did: Loid asks what the heck she was doing eating that by accident (while in his mind he's glad that she's safe) and Yor says that she shouldn't do whatever she wants with something that belongs to someone else. Anya guiltily says "sorry" and they both can't help but smile at her. They hear more explosions and Loid says that they need to get off the ship. Anya points towards the window and they realize that the ship is heading right towards the city of Frejis. Loid begins operating the device on the console. Yor asks if he knows how to operate it and he says that he knows how from when he did it as part time work when he was a student. Yor is impressed, but Anya knows he's lying.

Down in Frejis, people notice the large, burning battleship descending towards the town and begin running all over in a panic. On the battleship bridge, the ceiling blows off, causing an extremely strong wind to blow. Loid realizes that the propulsion system and lifting platforms are dead, and wonders if it's even possible to make a safe landing or even change course. Behind him, Yor and Anya are holding onto each other while the latter shouts "You can do it, Papa!" Loid says not to worry since the rudder is still intact. However, when he grips it, he can hardly get it to move and the ship is still losing altitude. Debris from the broken ceiling rains down on his head, causing him to lose his balance. Just then, he feels something on his right hand…Yor's hand. And on his left hand, Anya's. "Please let me help, too" says Yor, "Anya too!" says Anya. Working together, the three of them are able to move the rudder little by little.

The Frejis clock tower looms before them but they're able to steer the ship so that it narrowly avoids colliding and only grazes the side of the clock tower. The ship continues to lose altitude, heading towards the surface of a large frozen lake. Yor hugs Anya close to protect her as the ship shakes violent from the impact of the landing. The battered ship glides along the surface of the water at high speed, whipping up a cloud of steam. The frozen water crashes onto the ship, putting out the fire. On a hill not too far away from Frejis, Bond and Fiona stand near Fiona's car and watch with bated breath as the battleship crashes into the lake. "Senpai…" "Borf, borf, borf!"

Back at the ship, the Forges escape from the collapsed bridge and onto the roof. They look in wonder at the pretty scene before them of the glittering ice particles shining against the city lights like diamond dust. Suddenly, water that had collected on the deck roof pours onto them like a waterfall, leaving them soaked. They're perplexed for a moment before Anya bursts out laughing with a "waku waku splash!" Then Yor also laughs. As he watches the two of them laughing, Loid smiles softly.

Suddenly Anya sneezes and Loid notices something in her mouth. Loid realizes it's the microfilm, smaller than a fingernail. He wonders if it had somehow gotten stuck in her teeth. When Yor asks what it is, he clutches the microfilm in his hand and replies with a smile, "it's a return ticket."

The next morning at Berlint, Yuri listens to the news at his desk at the SSS: "The flying battleship that landed in Lake Frejis last night appears to have been an accident during a training flight. The committee has announced that it has already begun interviewing the manufacturer and the military." He remembers that Frejis is where Yor said she was taking a trip to and he wonders if she's okay. His lieutenant then opens the door and requests some documents. Yuri asks why the SSS has to be the ones to clean up this incident, and the lieutenant replies that if the people found out that the military was behind it, that would be troublesome. After the lieutenant leaves, Yuri muses to himself how it seems that WISE intervened in the incident though there's no solid information. He wonders how they could have possibly done it, then thinks "it must have been him…Twilight."

At the WISE hideout, Sylvia reads the newspaper headline which states that there were no survivors of the battleship incident. She compliments Loid, saying that even though the SSS put out the fire so to speak, he managed to not leave a trace of the Forgers' involvement. Loid replies that yes, the Forgers were just enjoying a normal family vacation. He takes out a wine bottle from his bag. Sylvia peels off the label, revealing the microfilm. She then tells him that he's back in charge of Operation Strix, much to Loid's surprise. She hands him a photo of Depple at night with a strange woman and says that his affair was exposed and he was disowned by the father of his wife. Loid smiles slightly when he notices that the woman with Depple in the photo is a WISE agent – in other words, he had fallen into their trap.

Afterwards, Loid meets up with Yor, Anya, and Bond at the park by a fountain. Yor asks how his patient was and he replies that it wasn't a big deal considering they called him out of nowhere. Anya asks Loid why there's no fish in the water and he flatly replies because it's a fountain. She then calls to Yor, taking her hand and leading her to the fountain. As Loid watches them happily talk about something, and Bond following along and enjoying himself, Loid lets out a sigh, but his expression is surprisingly soft. He thinks that even though he's able to continue Operation Strix, he can't let his guard down and needs to keep focusing on acquiring stellas. Anya reads his mind and is overjoyed that the Forger family isn't finished. Loid says that they should go home now since Anya has to "train" to make the melemele for the cooking competition tomorrow. Even though they weren't able to eat a real melemele, they at least have the ingredients for one. Anya asks to hold Loid and Yor's hand as she happily chants that she's going to make a yummy pastry. When Yor says that she'll help too, Loid and Anya politely turn her down. They then head home together.

At the Eden classroom, the students are preparing their cooking ingredients. Becky says that she's going to make an orange layer cake that she learned from training with her pastry chef. She asks Anya what she's going to make. When Anya replies "melemele," Damian overhears and comments that it's an old pastry. Anya tells him that if she makes something good, she wants him to have it too. Damian's face reddens as he shouts that he'd never eat anything she makes. With a shocked face, she asks if he really hates it that much. This makes Damian's face redden even more as he shouts that he'd vomit if he ate her food. He runs off with Ewen and Emile following. Becky comments that he's the worst while Anya thinks that the friendship scheme is a failure. Just then, Anya and Becky turn towards the direction of an explosion sound.

Later that day, Anya shows Loid and Yor a note from school saying that the school kitchen broke down so the competition was postponed and the judge was changed to the vice principal due to scheduling conflicts. Anya laments that since it's not the principal, the melemele won't work. Loid thinks for a moment and says that he remembers reading in the school newspaper that the vice principal is crazy about the berry pudding from the southern region. He asks if they should go, and both Yor and Anya agree. Loid opens a map and points out the southern region. He says it's warm there so they shouldn't need a lot of luggage. Anya is excited about going to the ocean and wonders what playing cards she should bring while Loid thinks it would be a good opportunity for her to learn how to swim. Upon hearing all the talking, Bond comes over from where he was sleeping and gives a happy "Borf!"

Meanwhile at Frejis station, Franky trembles in the cold and shouts "Hey Loid, I bought the cherry liquor!!!"

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Afterword: Congratulations if you've read this far! When I first started this project, I honestly didn't think I would write this much for a "summary" 😅 I thought it would just be a few paragraphs tops. But as I translated, I was like "oh, this is interesting, I should write it down!" And I just kept going with that and didn't want to stop! Some may wonder why I would want to spoil myself to this degree, but for me, reading about the movie (in a language I'm not fluent in) is still no replacement for actually seeing it for myself - the novelization doesn't convey every line of dialogue, character action/expression, voices, etc. But now that I know what to expect, I can get myself hyped for the scenes I'm looking forward to seeing while also not getting my hopes up for something I won't see. I don't care to do this for most things, but I'm the opposite when it comes to my hyperfixations like SxF! I'm also not going to give my thoughts on the movie until I see it for myself. But I will say that based on the novelization, even though I thought a few things could be better, overall I think it will be a ton of fun and can't wait to see everything in full animated glory!

Again, please remember to be cautious about where you share spoilers and to properly tag posts on social media. And if you end up sharing large portions of this summary elsewhere, a shoutout to my blog would be nice...I spent many hours working on this!

#spy x family #spy family #sxf #spyxfamily #loid forger #yor forger #anya forger #bond forger #twiyor #sxf spoilers #sxf movie #sxf movie spoilers #sxf code white #spy x family code white #sxf anime

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snowthedemonfox · 1 month ago

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Time to go through the entire episode 4 trailer!

I've been busy most of today, so I've only now gotten the chance to sit down and go through everything frame by frame. Like last time, I'm going to have to split this post up into parts. I'll leave everything under a read more to prevent spamming people's dashes though lol. Just know that everything will be in the reblogs!

I’ve resorted the screenshots to be in order that I think they’ll happen in the episode btw, or at least my best guesses.

Gangle and Ragatha hanging out in the tent, would not surprise me if Jax shows up and throws that baseball right in Gangle’s face to break the mask (hard to tell if she’s wearing comedy or tragedy). Maybe instead of Jax breaking her mask, Ragatha accidentally breaks it? That would explain why Gangle seems to get into an argument with her later in the trailer.

Also, baseball. Ragatha. Ragatha with a baseball. Wasn’t one of the teased adventures a baseball one? And it’s probably going to be episode 5? The Ragatha episode? Nice foreshadowing, Glitch.

Okay so very obviously her mask is broken now, thanks Jax (or Ragatha, you never know). You can see Zooble’s hand on the left, they’re probably about to offer some help. Is Zooble the one who gave Gangle her new mask? I guess they do get along pretty well.

I do wonder where Zooble got the mask from. Did they make it? How? The star and swirl do look like random parts they’d have in their Zooble box. Two other details I’d like to point out is how Zooble’s door icon is flipped. Gangle’s looking into a mirror, the icon shouldn’t be facing the right way. Cute duck toy though, Zooble. I like it.

Also is that an abstraction figure on the desk in the background? Is this related to the figurine thing from Episode 2?

Oh and I guess everyone gets those stacking ring and building block toys, since Pomni has the exact same toys in her room.

Okay first of all why are Pomni and Ragatha walking in from the right? Their rooms are on the left, along with Jax’s. Were they looking for Gangle to start the adventure, and checked her room first? That IS on the right side, so it makes sense if they were walking back from there. They look confused, maybe they’re wondering why Gangle is looking in the mirror. Maybe they’re wondering what she’s doing in Zooble’s room.

Regular Caine and Bubble activities! Maybe today Caine gets interrupted by someone while explaining the adventure? Because that would explain a few things.

Like, actually checking the suggestions box. Is it attached to the pole? How the hell are the others supposed to reach it if it’s all the way up there? I guess they’ve managed a way to do so because the box is overflowing with suggestions. I guess Caine almost never checks it, which…. oof. Maybe Pomni asked if they get any input on the adventures, reminded Caine the box exists, and now he’s going “Oh shit I can’t let them know I haven’t been reading these!”

Yayyyy Kinger <3 Probably watching Caine go over to the suggestions box lmao. I wonder what he’s going to be doing while everyone else is on the adventure?

Okay yeah it must’ve been attached to that pole, it’s now broken. Weird that we’ve never seen it in previous episodes, that would’ve been a nice reference. Caine’s probably going to grab the first suggestion he sees (That being a fast food adventure? Who would’ve suggested that? Gangle? Would explain why she’s the manager, she’s the one who suggested the idea) and go with that for the day’s new adventure. Bubble I don’t think you should lick that by the way.

Maybe the manager’s office? Or maybe this is one of Caine’s secret rooms where he brainstorms adventure ideas? Idk. I do like the motivational posters in the background though.

You can kinda see Gangle in the reflection of his eyes, so he’s maybe talking to her. Thanking her for the idea? Telling her how to be the manager?

Probably some fake ad sequence to put between them moving from the Tent to Spudsy’s? Gangle girl calm down pls you’re scaring me-

Yayyyy it’s the scene from the Feb trailer!!! But now it looks even better!! It looks like it’s still early in the day based on the outside weather. Jax has to work the drive thru it seems, that doesn’t seem too difficult. I guess. I’ve never worked at a place like this. I wonder what that room on the right is. Maybe they all spawn in with their usual outfits, but that room acts as a changing room? Is that Caine’s hand? Maybe Jax refused to be a part of this but Caine dragged him in there anyway to get into uniform lol. Does not look like he’s having a good time.

Orbsman!! First thing I noticed is that he seems a bit… lower quality than all the other character models we’ve seen. Caine must’ve really rushed this adventure, and that’s going to become a bit more obvious really quickly. But for real dude why are you so tall wtf.

Oh and Ragatha is at the cash register with Pomni! Maybe they both start out there, but Gangle makes Ragatha work with Zooble on the cooking because of all the orders? Sorry Pomni, you’re on your own.

What do you do when you need NPCs, but don’t have the time to make new ones? You reuse old ones! Why else would the Gloink Queen be ordering burgers?? I was just as surprised as Jax when I watched the trailer.

Is this the Karen NPC I’ve been theorizing exists? If so, Pomni is not going to have a good time. Maybe this is just after Ragatha left to help Zooble?

This has to be a timeskip cut somewhere, right? It’s probably boring to show the whole day of nothing but customers ordering food and then leaving. But I can’t tell if this is early morning, or late afternoon. How long are these guys even supposed to be working for?

This has to be at least after Ragatha leaves, cause you can only see Pomni at the register. I can’t see any NPCs though, did most people leave?

Look at her, she looks so damn tired. Pomni I’m so sorry you didn’t deserve this.

If you’ve seen my other post on this topic, you’ll know that I 100% believe Gummigoo is ordering something in this moment. The trailer put this scene immediately after showing us the Gloink Queen. If Caine reused one NPC, he’s going to reuse another. I wonder if we’ll see Max or Chad? Or one of the ghosts from Episode 3?

Either way Pomni is not going to have a good time. I doubt Gummigoo even remembers who she is.

Yeahhhh she doesn’t look like she’s handling this well. Gummi probably just walked off to go sit down somewhere? Or maybe he just got his food (which, damn, that must’ve been quick) and is walking to one of the tables. Pomni’s trying her best to act normal and okay but you can clearly tell she isn't.

This scene is odd because it’s the only one that looks like Glitch intentionally cropped something out. Is that something perhaps a gummy crocodile? Pomni please get off the floor who knows what’s been there. That’s not healthy. Also?? Don’t you have a job to do??

#the amazing digital circus #tadc #tadc episode 4 #arctic fox speaks

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arom-antix · 15 days ago

Note

Hey, just wanted to reach out to say that I found you pointing out and calling this person was really great and you shouldn't have apologized. It was incredibly true what you said, and to be honest it seems out of touch with the reality of a great deal of the japanese fandom, the nuances and their culture. Also, it was as you pointed out, extreme and may I say rude. I want to mention too that the way it was written, as if entitled of the knowledge and the 'explanation' made it all worse in context of the 'fucked up'. The original poster always gets away by using the 'well-written academic'' statement of their 'metas' as an excuse to do or say and make everyone else agree and if not, uses victim narrative and discourses exactly selecting wording for people to agree on it or feel bad.

I don't know if they tagging you in the way they did made you reblog and apologizing/backing up, but no one thought bad about you pointing it out. On the contrary, a lot of people had been bullied and discriminated by this person when they called them out/disagreed going onto lenghts of sending their friends to harass people, and the other persons can't even defend themselves because they are effectively blocked. To quite a few people in the fandom has been done, even accusing them as 'acephobes' (when they're not) or even Nazis by spreading lies. So yeah, I just wanted to say that. I think you were right to call them out publicly.

Thank you very much for this ask. To be completely honest I agree with everything you said here and don't actually feel bad about pointing anything out. I mainly apologised because I didn't want any potentially poor phrasing from my side to cause unnecessary hostility and because I myself have gripes with this person's behaviour but didn't want to cause a scene.

My honest opinion is that they have a serious issue with taking accountability for their own mistakes and highly overestimate their own intellect. If you're reading this, @thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai, sorry if I seem harsh, but it's true. I saw your post lamenting how you're the only academic meta writer / fan in the fandom and I didn't interact then because I honestly do not care enough to start that drama but with the information Blonndiec has just given me, I think it's necessary that someone calls you out.

You're not an academic. You're not beyond the mental capabilities of other fans. You're actually incredibly childish in your metas and analyses and I am not kidding when I say that I was halfheartedly writing essays more academic than every analysis I've seen from you when I was barely a teenager. I don't know how old you are and I frankly don't care. You're not as clever as you think you are.

Also, don't think I didn't notice that you didn't reblog my correction (link here to my correction and here to their "response" for those who didn't see that exchange) of your post so that you could control what your followers saw of the exchange. You're the opposite of an academic. You control information to tailor the narrative, you don't cite your sources properly if at all, you don't format your posts in anything close to how an academic analysis would be, you make unbased claims, you reference posts and canon material without in any way indicating where that information is from, you reference your own (equally unacademic) metas and your conclusions from them without indicating what post it's from or that it's your own theory this new one is based on and instead present it as a common fact, and I could go on and on and on. Your posts are also riddled with logical fallacies and you talk in absolutes and opinions when there's no canon basis to claim such things. I'm sorry, but that's not academic in the slightest.

To be clear, you don't have to be an academic to post on the Internet. You don't have to be anything at all. You could up front be a genuine idiot with no remorse and that's fine. But when you claim to be an academic and also put down the rest of the fandom for not being on your level, you have to be able to back that up. It'd still make you sound like a prick but at least your arrogance would have a basis. It currently does not.

I haven't personally seen the discussions that Blonndiec is referencing and I'm not going to claim anything definitive (because that would be unacademic of me, take notes) but if what they're saying is true and did happen as described, which I have empirical, if anecdotal, evidence to believe could very well be (a friend of mine has personally been blocked by you after they criticised you without actually mentioning your name which I of course can't prove is the reason for the block but the timing is awfully convenient), you should know that you should be ashamed of yourself.

If there's context missing, feel free to enlighten me and call out any incorrect accusations. You have every right to defend yourself. However, I encourage you to cite your sources since you're such an academic. If you don't, then it's just your word against Blonndiec and anyone else who might comment's word and that doesn't prove anything. Don't misunderstand, acephobia and nazi rhetoric should absolutely be called out but only if it's actually happening. False accusations can ruin lives. I hope you know that.

I'm not a fan of calling people out publicly and, again, thank you for this ask, Blonndiec. But considering many of the issues I've personally seen and those I've been informed of by second hand sources were posted publically, I don't really feel bad about calling this out. I could do a full breakdown of just the insulting "academic" comments alone and how there's no academia to be found in said academic metas and, Samurai, if you give me reason to, I will show exactly what I mean point by point (and academically just to give you an example of even low level academia).

If you respond to this, do it in a reblog. That's what a real academic would do. If I'm wrong and you can prove it, you'd have no reason to not show my post in your rebuttal. If I'm right, you'd have every reason to be upfront about your mistakes and how you intend to rectify them. There's nothing wrong with being wrong but there's a lot wrong with refusing to admit to it in a way that lets others peer review you (academic thing, look it up) and come to their own conclusions about the situation. That's what you did when you just @'ed me instead of reblogging my response. A true academic wouldn't hide a peer review. You'd know that if you were one.

I swing in many academic spaces and yet that doesn't make me any kind of expert and I don't claim to be one because I'm not. But since you want to be one so badly, reblog this with a response and show us all how smart you are. I'm dying to know what your academic take on this is.

#sorry to any moots and followers reading this for going off like this #this has just been weighing on me for a long time #i have absolutely zero issue with someone just making posts about a thing they like and things they think about #it doesnt have to be any kind of academic in the slightest #citing sources is not necessary to be a part of fandom #but when you make such a bold and demeaning claim that actively puts down the very fandom you claim to be part of #im gonna get pissed #we are not your underlings and you are not better than anyone else #maybe this is my inner jantelov shining bright here but this is exactly what the modern jantelov is for #calling out people who think theyre better than the rest based on nothing but arrogance and ego #trust me this is not how i usually try to sort problems but ive had it and i think everyone should know #ive personally fallen victim to the “explain away with half baked arguments and appeals to emotion” tactic from people #its very easy to want to give people the benefit of the doubt #so as someone who knows and has experienced how easy it is to fall into that trap i want to point this out to those who might not notice #its very easy to miss #but i didnt miss it this time and im not letting anyone else miss it either #when you start forgiving this type of behaviour youre only a step away from letting them walk all over you #suddenly youre wrapped around their pinky and you wont notice until the light from the exit dims so much that you cant see at all #ive been there #im not letting you go there too #to be clear this isnt a this person issue but you have to catch this behaviour the moment you see it otherwise youll catch it too late #im only being this up front about it because i want you to be able to recognise when someone actually dangerous does it #its a kind of pipeline #i want you to notice in time #ask #yuri on ice

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letteredlettered · 1 month ago

Note

Related to your last post: For me tumblr would work better as a community site if there was a function that would hide reblogs of the same posts. I get overwhelmed if I follow more than ten people in the same fandom because of the repeating posts. With work and everything else, I don't have the hours to find the original things people are saying. Reddit works better sometimes except the subreddits often have very surface level discussions with high amount of newcomers asking the same questions and the topics are quite limited. Maybe I should just try if there is life on Dreamwidth :P

This ask is a response to this post I made about feedback to fic and fandom community.

Anon, I agree 100% regarding the difficulties of tumblr for discussion that builds community. If you're following this discussion, than you may have already seen these follow-ups:

@eleadore added their thoughts about preserving reader spaces in a reblog here

@yiiiiiiiikes25 added thoughts similar to yours re tumblr's poor functionality as a community space here

@thehoneybeet added to the post that sparked my post here, about how to foster the kind of community we're all saying we want.

I'm linking these posts because I want to call attention to them; I think they're great. But I'm linking them in response to you specifically because yes there are multiple vectors to this problem--the web enshittification I described in my post, the splintering of fandom after the death of livejournal, and the difficulty of tumblr as a venue.

But it's that last, the difficulty of tumblr as a venue, that means that even like-minded people who want the community we're discussing can't really have it. Some went to, and are still on, dreamwidth. Frankly, I still find myself deeply irritated that fandom didn't move there, that it accepted AO3 and not DW. But I think a large factor in that particular exodus actually has to do with the fact that AO3 is closer to the direction the enshittified web went than DW ever could be. AO3 has a "like" button and is not built for deep, meaningful interaction. Again, this is because it was meant to be a limb of the fandom community, not replace community entirely. I'm not claiming that AO3 is enshittified but rather that it bears more similarity to current social media sites because it's only one part of a community that was at the time, thriving (yes, in spite of strikethrough and everything that was happening on LJ at the time).

In my opinion, tumblr straddles the divide between that old style of community website and the new one. Like livejournal and DW, you can view tumblr chronologically, without an algorithm feeding you content. You can remain anonymous, and everyone can see anything you post. But like other more modern social media sites, you can reblog and like, which you couldn't do on LJ and DW. The fact that tumblr is sort of both--and that it wasn't sold to the Russians and torn apart, like LJ--is why fandom fled here and why scattered pieces of it remain here, despite so many others moving on.

One thing I wanted to talk about in my original post, but couldn't find a place for, was how so much of the "community" aspects of fandom are now private. I think that's happened partly because tumblr isn't a great place to hold a conversation, so the conversation quickly gets moved elsewhere--but instead of somewhere where everyone is still welcome (ahem, like Dreamwidth), it gets moved to private spaces. Or the conversation never starts and exists only in the kinds of spaces meant for such things.

@thehoneybeet makes great points about this in the post I linked above. They mention "the invite-only server, the private ao3 challenge, groups and experiences that you need to be in-the-know about to even begin to participate in. that, essentially, require an invitation."

@eleadore mentions it at the beginning of their reblog (also linked above), saying, "i feel discussions of this nature have been severely crippled over the yrs, and people prefer to take to private group chats and such instead of engaging [...]" But they go on to mention "private discord book club servers."

To be clear, I'm 100% with @eleadore about the necessity for spaces for readers, and also 100% with them at the idea that there can be spaces authors don't have to touch. Writers don't "deserve" to hear every single thing anyone's ever said about their fic, positive or negative. Earlier this year I in fact made an impassioned post about the fact that I believe that bookmarks are for readers, not writers, and that making them a space purely for an author's comfort limits the functionality of bookmarks for readers, both in terms of finding fic but also in terms of finding friends.

So, yes, I agree that it's okay to have private discord book club servers. But the mention of discord did make me do a double-take, because in my opinion, discord is a huge part of what I perceive as the problem. You can't find a discord for your chosen fandom by searching discord. You have to have the link. Even if the discord isn't invite-only--which many of them are, you can usually only get the link by knowing someone.

There are all kinds of reasons for why discord is so private. Discords are run by mods, who feel responsible for what happens to people in spaces for which they are responsible. And mods who take a laissez-faire "everyone just do what they want" approach often have servers dominated by people who make the environment difficult, sometimes through racism, sometimes through bullying, sometimes by constantly bringing up traumatic or triggering content, sometimes just by making everything about them all the time. It's not like lj or even tumblr, where you can just unfollow. You're kind of stuck, unless you've got a mod who is policing vigorously, which is a huge job and impossible to do in ways that will make everyone happy. It's just easier if you don't have anyone and everyone wandering through.

I hate that. It makes me want to throw things. To me, fandom is about a space that's for anyone and everyone. You shouldn't have to know someone to get to have discussions about the thing you love. That's not why I'm here. In fact, in some ways I'm in fandom to get away from that kind of bullshit, so I don't have to construct some kind of social persona that is palatable enough to be accepted. I'm hear to talk about blorbos and read porn, maybe write a thing or two. A private discord book club made intentionally as a safe space for readers is a great use for discord. But discord as a place for fandom actually makes me feel a little ill.

I don't have a good suggestion of where fandom community should be built. To me, the best place is dreamwidth, and I think that after fifteen years, I really need to give up on the idea that enough people will move there (in this economy????) to really get the numbers you need to be able to find the people with whom you really click and connect. When tumblr tried to ban nudes, a lot of people talked up other possibilities--and some people went, to Mastadon, to pillowfort, even to twitter and IG. But those spaces all have their downsides, and none of them have the critical mass to be a real fandom home. As before, I have no conclusions about this. I just wanted to highlight some other aspects of this problem and describe some other food for thought.

#fandom

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lemoncrushh · 2 months ago

Text

This is why I haven't been writing...

This got long, but I had to say it.

The lack of feedback has always been something writers struggle with, at least in the ten years I've been on tumblr. It's nothing new. But it feels like instead of improving, it's gotten even worse.

Years ago, I had a long-time mutual bash me for complaining about it, calling me entitled. I was upset about it then, but here's the thing...I am entitled. And so is every other writer on here. We are all entitled to a little feedback and interaction. That's what we're here for.

I understand the drought we're in without any new Harry content. But I would think that would bring even more readers. Instead, it's crickets. There are a handful of popular writers on here who constantly receive asks and get interaction, and I am in no way saying they don't deserve it. They absolutely do. But the rest of us do too.

Writing fanfiction is not a job. We do this shit for free. But it's still as time-consuming as a real job. And to only get likes with very few random reblogs here and there is very disheartening. We are content creators. I understand tumblr may not be like other apps and websites, but it's still content. And likes here mean nothing. It's not like on tikok or instagram where the algorithm somehow keeps track of likes. On tumblr it doesn't mean shit. Your like is not going to make my post show up on someone else's dash. The only way to get content shared on this app is to actually SHARE IT. That's what the reblog button is for.

Imagine how a content creator on any other platform would feel if they got no feedback. If nobody was interacting with them, they would probably get their feelings hurt and eventually pack it in. That is now I feel now. Tbh, I can't believe I've been here this long. If this were a job or a relationship, and I was telling someone else about how long I've been doing this with little to no reciprocation...they would shake their heads at me and tell me I was a fucking fool and I needed to get out of this situation.

Am I getting on my high horse? Damn right I am. I have been biting my tongue for far too long. I have made so many excuses over the years...that fic was too personal and didn't appeal to the mass audience, that fic was an AU and not everyone likes AUs, that fic was too long and most tumblr readers don't read chaptered fics, that fic had such-and-such trope that readers don't like, there are too many writers here now, nobody reads that kind of fic anymore they only want smut, that fic was too smutty, you're just too old and nobody likes you anymore...yes I've told myself all of it. And maybe I'll never really know why you guys don't like my fics or why you won't interact with me. All I know is I'm sick of trying.

I had - and actually still HAVE - loads of ideas for Harry fics. I am honestly so sad that I may never write them. But I just can't bring myself to get motivated and excited to write something when nobody gives a damn.

This definitely turned into a rant, but it's how I feel. I used to really like it on here, but that joy is long gone. Things really changed after the pandemic, and the newer fans don't seem to use tumblr the way we used to - and the older fans like me have mostly left or only pop in sporadically when something happens.

I was never here for likes. I'm bored just scrolling through pictures. Fandom to me was all about interaction and about finding people who loved the thing you loved. Nobody here gives a shit anymore.

I love Harry Styles. And tbh I still love fanfiction. I'm not deleting my blog because I deleted my heart-attack-harry one I'd had for years back in 2021, and I regretted it. This one will remain. And I'll still pop in now and then to read. But my heart is just not in the writing anymore.

Court

#harry styles fanfiction #tumblr has changed #fandom has changed #court talks #rant

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cripplecharacters · 5 months ago

Note

Followup question to an ask I sent, idk maybe a month ago, about how yall feel about the whump or hurt/comfort community/genre and their approach to plots that often involve some kind of disability. My new question is a bit more meta. What is the most respectful way to interact with posts we wish to save/share/reference for realism in whump writing? What's the rule of thumb tagging guide?

I know #disabled-whumpee instead of clogging support tags for tagging actual fics, but what about reference posts? Would it be considered rude to reblog an irl disability post onto my whump writing blog as #irl-disability or the like?

I believe that adding realism to fics is good for multiple reasons, but I worry saving posts like that to reference would be considered trivializing real struggles.

Also I don't know if I said it in my first ask, If there's anything overall you would like to see handled better, I would like to hear your opinion. I don't approach this genre with disability rep as the goal but I understand that bad representation can be harmful whether it was meant as rep or not. By nature disabled whumpees often fall into the disabled by trauma trope, and because of that I want to limit any other disrespect or harm I could be perpetuating.

Hi,

I'm sure that a lot of disabled people won't care, but just don't. Don't use real people's venting or talking about their disability or ableism they experience as some sort of angst inspo. That's what writing resources are for, and I know well that there are a lot of them in the whump space because a lot of them reblog from us. I know that some people in that space also talked about this topic before.

I know a lot of people in the disability space on this app that truly loathe having to deal with this - you're talking about your chronic pain, hoping to see more people like you and instead of fellow chronic pain havers your tags are full of writers using you as some sort of “how to hurt my oc” reference.

Whether you make a mental note of something that you read is a different thing that no one can logistically stop you from doing. But don't go around telling random disabled people that you're using their experience for your blorbos-in-pain fanfic.

The real way to get writing advice about disability is to pay a disabled person to be a sensitivity reader. Don't use random people who didn't sign up for this as a free alternative.

mod Sasza

#mod sasza #anonymous

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strangersteddierthings · 2 years ago

Text

Bad News First, Eddie

Part One 🦇 Part Two🦇Part Three🦇FInal Part

This was getting longer than both Steve and Wayne's parts combined, so I'm gonna break it into 2 parts. Posting part 1 now, and part 2 should be up within a day. Thank you everyone for the wonderful replies/reblogs. I screenshot them cause they keep me going haha.

Trigger Warning: Child abuse referenced, as well as one scene of a child being slapped. Use of slurs in a derogatory manner.

Bad news first, Eddie thinks to himself as he swings the trash can lid turned shield, this is a fuckton of bats. Good news, Dustin is safe.

The bats are overwhelming but he's holding his own. He can do this. He can buy them more time. He's done running away from the things that scare him.

Bad news, Eddie thinks, watching Dustin sob above him, I'm gonna die here.

Eddie dies. He knows this because all the hurt stops. The world has faded into itself, dimming to a blackness deeper than Eddie's ever known.

The afterlife is a bit disappointing if he's honest. He's not sure what he was expecting, but it wasn't nothing. Endless, unfathomable nothing.

He kinda hoped he'd see his mom or something, but that's delusional. If the afterlife was heaven or hell, he wouldn't end up in the one his mom went to, that's for sure. Too many sins under his belt for that.

Death is pretty boring though.

Time is impossible to track. He's tried a few times, counting seconds to make minutes but that's so boring he loses his train of thought. Ends up humming some tune or another before repeating the process.

The day he finds himself humming a Wham! song has Eddie a little panicked. He doesn't listen to Top 40 stations. He spent a good deal of time avoiding learning any Wham! songs, actually, so now that he's somehow gotten one such in his head...

This has got to be capital H Hell.

Well. Everyone in town thought he was on the road straight to it. Laugh it up, Hawkins. You were right. The Freak went straight down.

Eddie misses Wayne. He can't remember the last thing he'd said to him. When did he last tell his uncle he loved him? Wayne knew it though. He had to know it. They didn't say it out loud but they didn't need to. Right?

In the distance, Eddie sees something. A light? He's not sure what it is but it's something new. Something different.

The light leads him back into the Upside Down. The bats are swarming and he just crashed the bike- fuck fuck fuck, run. Run, Eddie, get the fuck out of here!

He's screaming at himself to run but instead his body stops. Turns. Pulls the shield and spear from his back and screams at the bats.

Eddie rips himself back, away. Crumples to the ground, folding into himself. Not that. Anything but that again.

A soft humming sound. Gentle, warm.

Loving.

Eddie unfolds himself to see what it is.

His mom smiles down at him, reaches out to ruffle his hair as she hums. Eddie knows the danger has passed and he is safe now because Mamma only hums that when it's safe.

"There's my handsome boy," she moves the hand from his hair to boop the tip of his nose. "How about we play a little game, hmm? The floor is lava!"

She scoops him up and plops him on the kitchen table. There is a crunching sound beneath her feet as she moves. Lava sounds an awful lot like Dad's broken beer bottles but if Mamma wants to play pretend then Eddie can do that for her.

His mother is beautiful. The most beautiful woman in the world. He takes after her in a lot of ways. Matching curly locks, the same face scrunch when they're angry, their noses, big brown doe eyes. Eddie even shares her voice, just a different pitch. The point is, Eddie's mom is beautiful and he's got enough ego left at four years old to think of himself as beautiful, too.

The problem, then, is that Eddie makes the mistake of saying it in front of his Dad. 'As pretty as Mamma,' he'd said. They'd, he and Mamma that is, were sitting crosslegged on the floor in the living room. Dad had been in the kitchen, Eddie could hear him puttering about. Mamma had booped his nose and called him the best looking kid in all of America.

Eddie nodded fiercly, "yeah! As pretty at Mamma."

It used to be a fuzzy memory, what happens next. A flurry of movement and shouting. Now he's witnessing it with terrible clarity. His dad's hand curling around his upper arm and yanking him into the air, crushing hard enough to bruise. His dad's shouting at him. He remembers not remembering the words but now they hit him like the slap his dad delivered to his face. "No son of mine is going to be a fuckin' fag, thinkin' he's some pretty little girl. Is that what you want, you little shit? To be a little girl?"

"Stop it! Stop it! Let him go, he didn't mean anything like that!" he hears his Mamma plead but his Dad won't stop shaking him and screaming. He bursts into tears because it hurts and he's confused and his Dad's never hit him before- "Hit me! Hit me! If you're gonna hit someone, hit me!"

Eddie gets tossed aside. He lands on back and sees as his Dad does exactly as his Mamma demanded. Eddie's never been so scared in his life, he can't watch. He scampers down the hall as fast as he can and crawls under his bed to hide.

If Eddie had to guess, that's the memory that ingrained his need to run.

He's reliving his memories. He's a little embarrassed how long it takes him to figure that out. They say your life flashes before your eyes when you die. They don't tell you that the quote flash unquote takes a really fuckin' long time. Like, you know, your whole life long time.

It's so strange to witness, too. Like he's both watching the memories as an outsider, but also through his own eyes. He has both the knowledge that he had when he died, and also no experience beyond what he's seeing in the memory.

He watches his Dad beat his Mamma, beat him, but also watches his Dad push him on the swings and slow dance around the kitchen with his Mamma. And that's the worst part, he thinks. That his Dad could have been an awesome one. If he'd stayed sober like he kept promising. He didn't though, couldn't. Hell, maybe it's even a wouldn't. He watchs Wyatt fucking Munson pick beer and drugs over him and his Mamma time and time again.

Couldn't even put them down long enough to be there when Mamma got sick.

Eddie is seven. He's just had his head shaved, bald as his Mamma now. He regrets doing it as soon as he sees his Mamma's smile falter when Uncle Wayne drops him off at the hospital.

"We match, Mamma," Eddie says shyly, eyes downcast. "I wanted to match..."

"Oh, baby, come here," and she's scooping him into a hug, genuinly smiling again, "I love that we match. So long as it was your decision to cut your hair."

Eddie realizes now why her smile had faltered. She thought Dad had shaved his head against his will, probably because long hair was for woman, as he liked to say. Eddie in the memory didn't know that, though, so he just cuddles closer and says, "Yeah. Uncle Wayne did it for me, so it would be nice and even, he said. Wanna hear what we did in school today?"

There is something looming at the edges of his vision. Eddie can't seem to make whatever it is come into focus. It's not a memory because those always focus. It's something else. Something new.

His dad teaches him to hot wire a car. Makes him learn how to pick the lock on car doors and handcuffs. When he sees how easily Eddie took to lockpicking, he makes him learn other locks, too.

Eddie misses out on school because his dad can't be bother to enroll him and Eddie doesn't know how to do it himself. He's too scared to, anyway. Afraid his dad will start swinging and won't stop until he's dead.

When Eddie is eleven, a lot happens. It was a pivitol age for him. He got his first crush (a boy named Jimmy) and a first kiss (a boy named Jeramiah). Eddie also ends up in the hospital because his Dad caught him kissing Jeramiah.

It's not his Dad that picks him up from the hospital, though.

Eleven is the age he is the day his Uncle Wayne moves him to Hawkins, Indiana.

He's also eleven the first time he hears Black Sabbath.

Eddie is also eleven years old when he decides that he wants good news delivered last. To end with something good.

He relives becoming himself.

Catching up in school because he's not stupid, but falling behind because he is kinda dumb (schoolwork never seemed as imporant as hanging out with friends, or starting a band, or playing dungeons and dragon, or any other number of things).

The relief he feels the first time he meets another person like him, learns there's another word besides faggot for what he is. Gay. The immense pleasure of feeling truly seen the first time he says that out loud to someone (it's his best friend, Jeff) "Bad news, Jeff. You might hate me for this. Good news, I'm gay."

Good, good news. Jeff doesn't hate him!

There's a fear that Wayne might be like his Dad regarding all this, so he can't tell him; won't tell him.

But then Wayne comes home unexpectedly when Eddie is a freshman and catches him with another boy's tongue in his mouth. Eddie has a panic attack that winds up with him in the hospital.

He remembers the paralizing fear when Wayne came to pick him up upon his release. Eddie had walked to the pickup numb and afraid. He climbed in, buckled the seatbelt, and waited for the worst.

Wayne climbed in and started the pickup but didn't put it in gear. Instead, he spoke, "Life is gonna be rough for you, boy. Rougher than it should be."

Eddie cannot make words form to reply. Can't do anything but shake.

"Eddie," Wayne says and he feels the seat move as Wayne shifts to turn towards him, "the bad news is, life is gonna be rough, but the good news? Living under my roof isn't. Won't be. Eddie, my boy, I love you. And nothing, absolutely nothing, will change that."

Eddie breaks, like a puppet with its strings cut, sags in the seat and sobs. Never, never had Eddie ever bothered to entertain the idea that this might be Wayne's response.

Eddie is a sophomore the first time he notices Steve Harrington. It's fucking awful. It's also amazing.

Because noticing Steve Harrington means noticing Steve Harrington. He's immidiately popular because he's good looking and good at sports.

Eddie's not gonna claim to know Steve, he doesn't. There's just these little clues that King Steve isn't a default jerk. For one, Steve doesn't partake in bullying. He stays silent. Lets it happen.

But Eddie's also been witness to two times when Stever did step in; both times when it was escalating to be a phycical altercation.

"Hey, Tommy, don't," Steve had said, not quite stepping between Tommy and the other kid, but enough to be within Tommy's line of sight. "The game is tomorrow. You throw that punch and your hand is gonna hurt like a bitch through the whole game. And I swear to God if we lose this game because you can't handle it-" Steve didn't finish the sentence, didn't have to. Tommy lowered his arm and scoffed. Walked away mutter about how the kid wasn't worth it anyway.

The other time, it had been Jeff he'd defended. Jeff hadn't even been doing anything. Just stumbled into some asshole from the basketball team and knocked him over. Eddie had been the one who'd shoved Jeff (because Jeff was teasing him) and he was ready to place himself in the way when Steve had beat him to it.

"Fucking relax, it was an accident," Steve stood face to face with Roger. Eddie and Jeff just stared at the back of Steve's head. "It's not Jeff's fault that barely tapping you knocked you down like a house of cards. Right, Jeff?"

Eddie and Jeff blinked at each other in a sort of stunned silence because since when does King Steve know either of their names? Steve turned to look over his shoulder, one eyebrow raised. Jeff stammered out, "R-right. It was an accident. Sorry, man."

"See, he's even sorry."

Eddie reached out, wrapped his hand around Jeff's wrist, and tugged him away. He could not stay here and witness anymore of Hero Steve or he was going to embarrass himself infront of the entire cafeteria in the worst way possible.

That was the tipping point for Eddie. When he finally had to admit he wasn't just noticing Steve Harrington. He had a full blown crush on the dude.

Fuck.

Watching his memories play, Eddie realizes he spent far too much time in high school trying to get Steve's attention. Bumping into him on purpose, being antagonistic to his friends just get a response, or trying his best to use Jedi mind powers to make teachers pair them together for projects in the rare few classes they shared (this never worked; teachers liked Steve too much and hated Eddie).

Steve changes between junior and senior year and still doesn't notice Eddie. Eddie's kinda bitter about it.

Then Steve graduates, but doesn't leave. He's always hanging around, bothering the freshman Eddie's taken under his wing. He's not jealous that Dustin Henderson thinks Steve hung the moon. He's not. (he is).

Anyway, the bad news. Steve graduates but doesn't leave and Eddie can't get over his stupid crush. Good news, he and Steve share a mutual friend in one obnoxiously lovable freshman, so that's like one step closer to Eddie being Steve's friend, right?

The thing that's looming finally comes into view when his most recent memories come up. Or, more accurately, it -she- makes herself seen.

He's holding a broken bottle to Steve's neck demanding to know what he's doing here and then the scene pulls away from him until he's watching himself threaten Steve. The memory moves in slow motion.

"Eddie?"

He screams because Jesus H Christ nothing else in the afterlife has ever spoken to him.

"I am sorry. I did not mean to scare you," she says. Eddie can see her now. She doesn't look like either an angel or a demon. She just looks like a regular person, a girl with shoulder length brown hair, wearing jeans and a yellow shirt that looks too big for her.

"Uh, it's fine?" Eddie says, because what else is he going to say? "Who're.. who are- what are you?"

"I am Eleven. It has been difficult to reach you, Eddie. Had to try, though."

"What?"

Eleven nods, like someone has said something he can't hear. There is a long pause before she speaks again. "Do you want to wake up, Eddie?"

"What do you mean wake up?" Eddie feels like he might start having a panic attack.

"I am not good with words. Not delicate, Mike would say," Eleven says, "so I will be frank. You are alive. Can be alive. Doctor Owens says you retreated into yourself. To protect yourself. But it's safe now. It is all safe. The Upside Down cannot hurt you again."

Eddie feels the panic set in almost instantly at those words. The memory explodes into black and the girl vanishes.

The more Eleven shows up, the more aware of other things Eddie becomes. Occasionally the sound of conversation drifts in but it's far away, muffled. He can taste food on his tongue that he had not eaten. Feel a brush get stuck in his hair.

They don't really talk, he and Eleven. She takes her queues from him and since he's got no idea what's happening he doesn't know what queues to give.

"So, you're not here to like... send me on, or something?" He asks. They're sitting cross-legged in front of each other. Eddie in the outfit he died in and Eleven in shorts, a crop top, and an oversized jacket.

"Where would I send you?"

"Y'know. Like... Hell or wherever."

Eleven is silent a long time before she says, "I don't want to send you anywhere. I want to bring you back."

Back. He can go back? That doesn't seem right. That doesn't seem like it should be an option. "You mean like, back to Hawkins?"

"Eventually."

Eddie's not sure what to make of that. Is he gonna be a ghost? Because if it's Hell or being a ghost, the latter sounds infinity more fun. Plus, as a ghost he could probably check in on Wayne.

"Alright. You win, Eleven. Take me back."

Eleven stands up immediately, offering a hand to help Eddie up. "You have to want it."

"Want to be a ghost?"

"No. You have to want to be alive."

That makes sense, Eddie supposes. Wanting to be alive is probably what makes ghosts be able to like, be ghosts. "OK. OK. I can do this." He does a full body shake, dancing from one foot to another to pump himself up. "Alive. Alive. I want that. I want to live. I want to see my uncle again. Want to give Hawkins a big fuck you for thinking I'd end up in Hell. I want to see Jeff and Gareth! I want to haunt the fuck out of Dustin Henderson for trying to follow me! I want to know if Robin, Steve, and Nancy won! I want to know if they made Vecna pay!"

He is yelling by the end of it, and Eleven is beaming at him like she's proud of him.

"Yes! Yes! Now, wake up!"

Eddie does wake up. Sort of. He's already awake, sitting in what appears to be someone's living room. He blinks several times before exhaustion washes over him and he sags back into the chair he's sitting in. "Wh-" he tried to speak but his vocal chords don't seem to want to work.

"Holy shit." A voice says off to his side. It's vaguely familiar. Like a distant memory. "Call Owens! Call Owens right fucking now!"

Bad news is this. He's been stuck in his own head for several years. His fucking body has been moving around without him yet the amount of physical therapy he has to do is torture. Fucking Owens won't let him contact anyone until he gets the all clear from his new therapist. Oh, and his uncle believes he's dead.

Good news is this. He's alive.

#steddie #eddie munson #my fic #child abuse mention #eddies really going through it guys

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