#I'm mentally not prepared for the new episode

[raisomething]

spoilers for chapter 2 drdt!!

'Who is the culprit?'

Honestly I hope neither of them are the culprit—

Last minute art before the reveal TvT

[dressupheart]

once again crying in my car before work but this time it's because of my firefighter blorbos

[kyouka-supremacy]

I don't get it, is the first season 5 episode going to premiere today at the Anime Expo?

[namtanlovesfilm]

Why do you always put "pls dont reblog" on the posts about your videos?

bc I created my channel a few months after three blogs on here led a campaign of mass cancellation of me which left me very traumatized (so much so that even today I never look at my dash anymore & don't really seek to socialize in the fandom, thankfully some people still come to me so I do still have friends tho) and so when I created my channel, it took me six months to start sharing my vids on here. the thing is though that I didn't want my blog & my channel to be linked just in case there ever was a cancellation campaign happening on my tumblr, so that's why. now though, I don't really care if they're linked together or not, but I kinda just keep the please don't reblog by habit. you'll be surprised to learn though that it doesn't stop many people from still reblogging my vids lmao

xxx

[stvrnioloslvt]

the estes method - Matt Sturniolo

bf!matt × gf!reader

PART TWO HERE

disclaimer: the following content might not be suitable for everyone. please, read the triggers list before reading this story. also, english is not my first language, but i hope you enjoy it nevertheless!

triggers: ghosts, shadow figures, the estes method, kinda scary? (not a lot though, i'm the first scaredy cat out there)

inspired by the trailer of this week's episode of hell week. and yes, sam and colby make an appearance in the story. enjoy!

「 ★ ★ ★ 」

i knew it was a bad idea. i mean, as much as i loved haunted places and acting like a ghosthunter, i knew it had complications that i was not prepared for.

but when the triplets were invited by sam and colby for their new episode of hell week they had no problem in tagging me along. and, frankly speaking, i was excited. the last time i filmed with them nothing much had happened, so i was curious to discover what would happen this time. however, nothing could have prepared me for what awaited ahead of me.

1:30 a.m.

"guys, can i do the estes method?"

"you really love that method, don't you?" the cam that sam was holding went straight to my face, startling me. i chuckled as colby gave me the ok to perform it.

"by the way, am i the only one that has been seeing things since i stepped foot in this place?"

five heads turned towards me, eyes wide open.

"what did you just say?" asked nick, turning pale.

"like, shadows that aren't ours moving on the walls, figures running from one room to another...is it only me?" at that point i felt like i was going crazy: the boys didn't have that much of a different reaction, and the camera was still in my face.

"so basically what you're saying is that you have been seeing things for over an hour and you haven't said anything?" sam and colby exchanged knowing stares, probably making a mental annotation to check the footage to see if they caught anything.

"i mean, even when i saw those shadow figures right in front of you, you didn't say anything, so i thought that i was hallucinating. but like...now it's worse" i ended the sentence with a whisper, as the camera panned to the triplets' faces.

"are they touching you? talking?" at this point chris just went back and forth, watching out in case he missed something.

"no, nothing, just circling us...or me. i'm not sure. hey, do you think it might be because i drew like tons of protective sigils on me?"

"YOU WHAT?" screamed sam and colby. i stumbled back, not expecting such a strong reaction.

"yeah, i figured that it could have been dangerous to come here without some sort of protection. i drew them on the triplets too, one per each, but no one is seeing what i am seeing. do you think that they're messing with me because they cannot touch me or whatsoever?"

"could be. messing with your mind instead of directly attacking you on a physical level is definitely an option. just...let us know if something happens, ok?"

i nodded. and, as we moved through the building, i prayed to whatever existed above us to keep us safe.

i turned towards matt, who was looking at me with a worried gaze.

"baby, are you sure you are ok? we can step outside if you need to"

i smiled and tiptoed to kiss him on the cheek. our hands brushed together as matt grabbed it to keep me close to him.

"eww disgusting"

"fuck off, nick"

"you too, bitch"

2:17 a.m.

"ok guys, now that the triplets have done the estes method it is y/n's turn" as colby spoke to the camera, matt put the blindfold on my eyes. he bent down to whisper in my ear a shy "i love you", then he put the headphones around my neck.

"y/n, are you ready?"

there was something heavy in the air. something wrong, something scary. i could feel the ways the boys were tensing up, anticipating something, anything. i felt my heart beating faster, my hands cold and sweaty as i saw pitch black in front of me.

with a raspy voice i replied to sam "yeah, i'm ready."

and so it begun.

the estes method

"chris is sitting next to you. if anything happens, tap on his leg"

i took a big breath in as the headphones fell snugly on my ears.

immediately i was hit with a multitude of noises: radio interferences, tv static noise, every once in a while i caught on the voice of a woman. she sounded like she was hurting.

"one"

the thing i hated the most about this method was that from the moment in which the headphones started blasting sounds it was as if you were alone in a parallel world. no matter how hard i squinted my eyes, or how much i tried to block out those noises, i just couldn't see or hear the people that were all around me.

"no"

"pain"

"hurt"

that voice, that woman...she was scared for her life. every time she spoke i could hear her whimper, almost crying.

"guys i think it is a woman speaking and she sounds like she is in pain. i don't know if it is related to what you've been asking but i thought you would want to know it"

the noise in my ears started getting stronger, higher. i put my head in my hands that were resting on my knees, then gripped the headphones so i could hear the woman better. there was something sinister about the new noise, it seemed like it was trying to cancel out the spirit in pain.

the best way i could describe it is as if a war had started and none of the two opponents could prevail on the other. i felt my head aching in an attempt to just focus on something, anything. but as soon as i tried to do so, the noises would get even stronger, leaving me panting as if i just ran a marathon. i felt someone's hand grab my thigh and shake it hard enough for me to feel it. somebody else tried to take the headphones out of my grip, but i held them in place.

finally, i managed to hear something.

"help!" screamed the woman.

and as soon as that word left my mouth, all the noise stopped, except for the tv static noise. my breath slowed down, and i loosened up the grip on the headphones. just as i was about to ask the boys if they unplugged the device, a growling, low voice screamed in my ears "go away!"

i screamed, terrified, as i ripped the headphones away from my ears and fell on the ground in front of me. i remember calling out matt's name, and he rushed to take me in his embrace as i cried terrified of what just happened.

chaos ensured: the boys scrumbled all around me to understand what i heard, but as soon as they did that colby called out a figure standing on the doorway.

"let's go outside, we can't stay here anymore!" someone screamed, and just like that matt picked me up bridal style and ran out with the others.

"nick, open the fucking car door so i can place her inside"

"on it"

the car

"baby, are you okay?"

"fuck, she's terrified. y/n. y/n! nod if you can hear us"

i nodded. just lightly, but enough for them to notice.

"baby, can you tell us what happened? what did you hear?"

i pulled matt inside the car so he could hold me while i tried to explain in the best way possible everything without being hindered by the fear that was running through my veins.

"that's crazy. guys, i've never seen anything like that before" said colby.

"for sure. it seemed like she was in a trance. y/n, did you feel us try to take those headphones off of you ears? you had a death grip on them, seriously"

"yeah, i felt it" i whispered, still shaking in matt's embrace. the poor boy could do nothing but hold me and caress my hair in hopes that it might help me to cool down.

"there was like...noise. a lot. at first i heard the woman speaking, then something else came up and started to try cancel out the woman. the last thing she said was help, and then..."

"and then what, baby?"

"and then there was silence. no noise at all, but i still couldn't hear you guys. i was going to ask if you had unplugged the headphones but..."

was i shaking again?

chills ran down my spine at the memory of that awful, awful voice.

"c'mon baby you can do it. say it"

"all of a sudden something growled in my ear. i don't even know how to explain it, it seemed like it didn't come from the headphones. he growled go away but i heard it so fucking clearly and strong that it felt like a scream right in my ears. i'm so sorry, i didn't want to scare you, i swear"

a heavy silence doomed upon us as the boys exchanged worried looks. matt held me tighter, in an attempt to protect me from my own memories.

"we believe you, y/n, we're just shocked that this happened...have we ever lived something like this before, sam?"

"no, never. i had chills, that was fucking terrifying"

"guys i think we should wrap it up here and go home"

"yeah. matt, do you want me to drive you guys home? so you can stay in the back with y/n"

"yes, please. let's go, i really don't want to spend another second in this place."

「 ★ ★ ★ 」

would you guys like a part 2? just pure fluff, matt taking care of y/n. let me know in the comments <3

all pictures were taken from pinterest. credits to the owners!

[reidmoony-toast]

Strawberry Wine. ౨ৎ

"If I was empty space, and you were a formless shape we'd fit"

Spencer x fem singer!reader

The two times they miss each other, and the one time they don't

content: no use of y/n, fluff, pining galore

cw: lil suggestive? (She sings Chappell Roan)

wc: 2.4k

an: I've been cooking this up for a while, but life has been super busy, so I haven't yet finished the other parts. I'm very sorry if they take a few weeks to finish :[ Anyways, hope you enjoy! <3

| pt.1 | pt.2 | pt.3 | series masterlist ౨ৎ

· · ──────────── ·𖥸· ──────────── · ·

He really wished he wasn’t here. He never should have begrudgingly agreed to Penelope’s crazy plans, no matter how much she bugged him about it. This was about as far opposite to his kind of thing that you could get.

The lights were bright–unbearably so; flashing so much he feared he would have an epileptic episode (if it weren’t for the small fact that he didn’t actually have epilepsy, but he digressed).

The large room was also deafening, filled with fans, all of them buzzing in anticipation. Penelope was not an exception–she bounced up and down like a rogue ball, shrieking in excitement close to every thirty seconds. He would know. He had been counting.

Although he would rather be at the very back (if he had to choose anywhere in this wretched place), Penny had physically forced him into the very front row, only a barrier separating them from the stage.

He didn’t know and definitely didn’t want to know how Penelope had acquired such tickets and at such short notice before the show. He had found that he was better living in ignorance of the borderline illegal habits of his best friend.

He had just endured half an hour of what Penny had called the ‘openers’. He was dismayed to hear that the performance was not the actual concert; he learnt that the hard way when he had asked Penelope if they could leave, which she replied to with a cackle, stating that the band that had just exited the stage was, in fact, not the main event of the evening.

He had buried his face in his hands and let out a loud groan. He only had himself to blame for being caught up in the ‘Garcia puppy eyes’ trap, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t whinge at least a little bit–or a lot bit.

He didn’t know much about this singer girl, only that Penelope was obsessed with her, bringing her up in conversation many a time. He admitted that he often didn’t fully (if at all) listen when Garcia gushed over her–he seemed to always zone out.

He had never properly heard her songs, only in passing when Penelope would blast music in her cave, and he didn’t even have a clue what she looked like.

He was mentally preparing himself for the next few gruelling hours, with Penny jumping up and down beside him, when the lights dimmed, sending the whole room into a frenzy.

He winced at the screaming and whooping coming from all around him. Smoke machines started emitting mist, covering the stage and fogging up the colourful lights. The crowd continued to roar, Penelope squealing next to him and gripping the railing of the barrier.

A figure emerged through the haze, the silhouette showing locks of hair cascading over their shoulders, clad in a silk slip dress that ended at the mid thigh, hugging their curves.

They started singing–a smooth, silky voice wrapped around him, making the room suddenly feel more bearable. He swallowed hard. The singing was beautiful. Sweet and rich, wrapping around him like a cosy blanket.

He raised his eyebrows with pleasant surprise. It was, admittedly, not bad in the slightest. He hated to say it, but he was enjoying it, a lot. More than he should, given that it was new-age pop, not the refined tones of classical music–his favourite genre by far.

All thoughts of music flew out of his head as the owner of the angelic voice stepped into the stage lights, allowing him to properly see her for the first time. His breath left his body as he took her in.

She was gorgeous, stunning–almost ethereal, as her other-worldy voice filled his cochlea, transmitting electrical signals through his nerve pathways to his primary auditory cortex.

Her hair shone in the light, giving her a halo of the highest grade, her bright lips curled into a perfect smile around her words, and her eyes shone with a million glinting stars.

He was utterly enamoured by her–every facial expression, every movement she made, every note she sang was all absorbed thoroughly by his wide eyes.

In no time at all, the first song was over, finishing with loud cheering and clapping from the audience. The angel grinned out at the sea of fans, soaking up the feeling.

Unlike Spencer, she was well and truly in her element, looking as though there was not where else in the world she would rather be.

He gazed in open-mouthed awe at the way she floated effortlessly about the stage–and, of course, that breathtaking smile that scrunched her nose and revealed the prettiest dimples he had ever seen.

He was snapped back to reality with a sharp poke in the side from Penelope, centering his gravity away from the girl on stage and back to where he stood.

“What?” He said loudly, an exasperated look adorning his face as he tore his eyes back to his best friend. She was smirking at him, arms crossed in front of herself.

“You have such a thing for her, I’m surprised you're not drooling right now,” she answered mockingly. He scoffed, dismissing her words with a wave of his hands as he faced the stage again, not wanting to miss a moment of the show. He heard Garcia laugh deeply at his half-hearted denial.

All thoughts of Penelope soon left his mind as the heaven-sent saint started to sing again, striking chords in his heart at every note.

The song came and went again, and Spencer wished they would not go by so fast, so he could see her for as long as possible.

The next song started with a more upbeat track, and the angel laughed, running back down stage, scarily close to where Spencer stood. “She was a, Playboy, Brigitte Bardot,” she started to sing, “She showed me things, I didn't know.”

She stuck out her tongue playfully, shaking her hips, making the satin fabric hugging her curves sway.

“She did it right there, out on the deck,” she bit down on her bottom lip as Spencer’s face heated, realising what the song was about. “Put her canine teeth in the side of my neck.”

She gestured with her fingers to a spot on her neck, pretending as if her fingers were the teeth, tipping her head back with imaginary ecstasy. He swallowed heavily, face hot.

“I'm in the hallway waitin' for ya,” she sang, “Mini skirt and my go-go boots,” on those lyrics, she bent over, running her free hand from her heeled boots and up her legs, jutting her ass out.

Spencer’s mouth fell open in shock. He had never felt like this from only a few minutes of meeting someone, let alone just laying his eyes on them. This was completely out of the ordinary for him, and it left him reeling.

~☆~

Songs flitted by like the butterflies in his stomach, and his gaze was permanently fixated on the captivating women centre-stage. He couldn't tear his eyes away even if he tried–and he most definitely didn't.

A new song started, fading in with a catchy guitar riff, and the crowd went wild, sparking a wide smile on the angel’s face.

The drum beat started, and she strutted down the stage, tipping her head back and shaking her smooth curls out in the dim lights before she began to sing. “Midnight,” she dragged out the end of the word.

“Come and pick me up, no headlights,” she blew a kiss to the fans in front of her, winking as she made her way down the stage towards where Spencer was situated.

Penelope grasped his arm tighter and tighter as she neared, buttery voice washing over him.

“Watch us go ‘round and ‘round each time,” she stretched out the note, rolling her head to the side, eyes landing exactly where Spencer was standing. He froze, dumbstruck, as he locked eyes with her.

He gulped heavily as a cheeky grin adorned her face, soft lips framing perfectly white teeth. She straightened up, continuing the lyrics as she floated even closer to him, never breaking eye contact.

“You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye,” She knelt down on the stage in front of Spencer. His breathing stuttered as his gaze remained on her, utterly entranced.

“And I got that red lip classic thing that you like,” she dragged her thumb across her lip, singing to him through a happy, if not slightly teasing, smile.

“‘Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style,” He could see her mouth curving around each syllable as she sang into the microphone, eyes still, somehow, on him.

He most definitely looked like an idiot in that moment, with his flushed cheeks and slack-jawed awe of the ethereal woman only a few feet away, but he didn't have it in himself to care.

She had seen him, and not only that, she had actually come over and sat, right there on the stage in front of him. No matter how much he tried to convince himself otherwise, she was–without question–looking, and singing, straight at him.

She leaned impossibly closer, leaving only a few inches between their two faces as she crooned the words into the microphone. His eyes flicked across the features of her face before they settled on her own.

Up close, they were mesmerising– long, thick lashes framed bright irises, sparkling with the light of the night sky– he could almost map out the constellations he knew off by heart from the incandescent twinkles in her eyes.

“You got that long hair, slicked back-” She moved her free hand to hover over the collar of Spencer's shirt, seemingly asking silent consent to touch him.

He shook out of his trance long enough to nod vigorously. She let out a short chuckle, grabbing his collar and carefully but firmly pulling him closer by his shirt. “-white T-shirt.”

His breath hitched as hers ghosted his lips with every exhale, noses almost touching, with hardly any room for the microphone as his heart raced impossibly faster.

“And I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt.” At that, she pulled away, letting go of his collar as she leaned back to run her free hand over her skirt, smirking at Spencer and his flaming-red face.

“And when we go crashing down, we come back every time,” she repeats, still serenading him. “'Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style!” She finally stood, winking and blowing a kiss at a thoroughly flustered Spencer as she strutted to another part of the stage.

Spencer stood there, dumbfounded. He couldn't believe she had not only noticed him, but also sang right to him. His shirt was crumpled from where she had gripped it, but he didn't dare fix it. If possible, he would never smooth the rumpled fabric if it meant he could have a reminder of her always.

A rough shake of his shoulder brought him back to the present, Penelope standing astonished next to him, incredulous smile playing on her lips and she all but shrieked in his ear–something along the lines of, ‘You're so lucky!’ and ‘You're so down bad!’.

He didn't pay her any mind, instead keeping his still-red face on her, and her only.

She wandered to different parts of the stage during the remainder of the song, but Spencer didn't miss the more-than-occasional glances she sent his way throughout the next few songs, smile growing each time they locked eyes.

When they did, he matched her smile with his own goofy grin, his heart feeling as if it was beating out of his chest, breathing becoming erratic as he clutched the railing with white knuckles.

~☆~

All too soon, the concert came to an end, accompanied by raucous applause from the crowd. He clapped like a mad thing too, finally understanding why her fans acted the way they did.

The version of him from two hours ago would have teased him relentlessly for this, but he didn't care. It was another completely different version of him, a version that had not yet laid his eyes on her.

It certainly felt like a life-altering moment in his existence. His being was now split into ‘before’ and ‘after’. Before and after her.

She waved and blew kisses enthusiastically as she made her way off stage. He deduced that she would have to walk right past Spencer to get there. He pathetically hoped she would look at him one last time–prayed she cared enough to seek him out once again.

Electricity jolted through his entire body, head to toe, as she locked eyes with Spencer when he was in her direct line of sight.

She gave him a wink and a little wave, biting her lip through a larger-than-life grin; he felt giddy, hand coming up in an awkward half-wave. He silently cursed himself for the stiltedness of his actions.

She, however, didn't have such qualms as she blew him an air kiss, giggling as she turned away, skipping the rest of the way off stage. The screaming continued as the heel of her shoe disappeared behind the side-stage curtain.

He felt oddly hollow as the venue lights came back on, signalling the end of the show. He kept staring at the spot where she had last been, silently hoping she would come back out and sing again. Look at him again.

He blinked hard, finally re-orienting himself, glancing around to see a few people staring at him, whispering to themselves.

They were talking about him–about his encounter. He turned away again, ducking his head as his cheeks burned again.

As quickly as they came, the stares went again, and his eyes flicked back to the stage again. He so badly wanted to meet her, talk to her, even just lay his eyes on her again. That would be enough.

Penelope cleared her throat next to him, and he hummed in response, still not looking away. She snorted. “Come on lover boy, time to leave.”

He turned his attention to see her nod in the direction of the exit.

He gazed back at that spot once more, heaving out a melancholy sigh, before turning away, heading towards the door.

“Yeah, let's go.”

· · ──────────── ·𖥸· ──────────── · ·

Thank you for reading, feedback is appreciated x

Tags: @reidology13 - Comment to be added!

Masterlist ౨ৎ

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

hrllo miss raven. in the topic of the new set (Jamil looks adorable btw), I'm just. DYING TO SEE LEONA AUUGHHHH JULY 2025 COMR HERE ALREADY

in one of the mangas (I don't remember which one) we see him sleeping SHIRTLESS........ I can't help but wonder if they'll be going with that or if they'll just force some pijamas on him but either way I know I will just. Die instantly. looking forward to seeing everyone else too!

[Referencing this post!]

I've been watching the nuclear fallout of the Jamil Relaxing in Room drop on my Jamil stan friends from the safety of my bunker... 🤡 Hair undone AND lookin' at you like that... Shit's wild out there. Jamil stans are truly going through it, they are in the TRENCHES Fans of other characters are going pretty crazy too, I've noticed. I think it's because Jamil came out serving so strong, it started to make everyone else nervous for what their own faves would look like when it's their turns to suffer. I can see, for example, that the terminal L*ona brain rot got to you too, Anon... Long time til July, so you can mentally prepare yourself for it.

YEAh SO I WASnmY THE ONLY ONE WhO THOUGHT QbOUT THAT 😭 In the Episode of Octavinelle manga, Leona is depicted as sleeping shirtless and with loose pants… LIKE SO:

S-Surely they’re not going to go with THAT for his Relaxing in Room Wear card, right??? I’d imagine the dev team would want to standardize the pajamas for everyone, with just some minor changes between them. This was the case for previous birthday cards, so they’ll probably do the same here. Edit: Nope, looks like everyone gets unique pajamas! Though this makes me wonder, will Idia get new pajamas or will we get his Lab Coat without the coat since he blatantly says he is wearing his pjs underneath??)

… It’s okay, I’m sure the pose and expression will do the same amount of psychic damage to us all anyway. For example, groggy fairy tale princess Silver will probably put all of our sleeping faces to shame 😂

P.S. Note related to Leona, Jamil, or Silver at all but I want to see Sebek with his hair down cuddling his squirshie (squirrel plushie) from the Harveston Sledathon 🥺

[darkness-follows]

Wade x f!reader oneshot request?

This idea has been stewing in my mind for a bit and I would love to see your take on it!!!

A one-shot where he's nervous about the reader inviting him over her place.

Maybe she starts making a move but he is excited/nervous but wants his "first time" with a woman since his wife's passing to be savored and slow/sensual.

The reader then asks him to show what he likes ~ touching himself while telling the reader how he likes to be touched in bed, leading to a smuty good time for the reader?

Thank you so much!!!!

WHAT A COOL IDEA THANK YOU!

🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

Hope this does it justice:

[Hey Wade, lets say my place? 8pm?]

Wade stares at the phone in his hands, fuck!

He checks the time again, 6.15 pm. Fuck.

Of course it's enough time to get himself ready but it's not enough time to mentally prepare for that date. That kind of date. It's their..oh he lost count already, maybe 5th or 6th date?

"Wow you look like you've seen a ghost Wade" Forrest huffs. Wade doesn't answer he just shows him his phone.

"Oh Holy shit! Oh my god...it's a sex date!" Forrest slaps his hand over his mouth and does a little excited jump. He's happier about this than Wade is. "Oh is that bad? Are you not ready?" He worries.

"I uh, I.. I don't know man, I haven't really..I mean she's great! You know like great but I didn't think of..-" He frowns deeply, it's a part of dating it's normal. People date and have some casual Sex just to..to see if they match right?

Right.

"Wade you got this, our girls can hang, we keep an eye and you go and have.. fun!" Forrest smirks.

"Really?"

"Yes really. Promise" Forrest adds.

"Okay! I gotta get ready, i gotta..I gotta shave and shower and...- RAID my entire damn closet"

And then Wade is off.

"Shave? He doesn't have any facial..- oh!" Forrest shuts himself up after that.

Wade really scrubbed himself squeaky clean, hes also wearing a Brand New pair of jeans which probably wasn't the smartest move as they seem incredibly tight in all the wrong places. But he still sits in his car in front of his dates house, he managed to go, to go really out and do it.. and at exactly 8pm he rings the doorbell. Shifting from one leg to the other, god he's sweating! That's bad! He's so nervous he's even thinking about running away right now.

When the door opens his face lights up.

"Wade!" You smile wide, wrapping your arms around him, holding him tight 'god does he smell good' .

You missed him, you missed a lot. "You okay? You look a bit wound up" He looks like he ran here.

Wade hugs you back just as tightly, pretending not to breathe in deeply when his face is in your hair, that shampoo is such a known and comforting scent by now.

"I'm golden! I swear, just ran a bit hot in the car" He tries to play his nervousness down, a lot. Stepping inside and then you two carry on with the date idea you had, sort of watching the first Episode of a new Show you two have been dying to see with popcorn and cuddles... very nice and sensual cuddles. It feels really good, having your head against his shoulder. Feeling the weight of his hand on your thigh, thumb stroking a rhythm into your skin.

After the episode ends you move your head slowly closer to his, giving him a gentle kiss while both your lips still taste of that sweet and sugary popcorn. You wanted this from the day you two met, to just cuddle and makeout and more.. he's such a wonderful man, everything he does is a slight turn on. Even if it's just taking his glasses off so he's able to kiss you back deeper, or sucking his fingertips clean after his bowl of popcorn.

You shift slowly, feeling his hand on your hip.

Moving yourself onto his lap.

He pulls away from the kiss, standing up "You want some water?? I uh, I gotta im really...- dry throat!" He coughs a bit and shrugs running off to the kitchen.

Hm.

When he returns you eye him carefully, pulling him on his belt to sit back down next to you.

When you lean in for another kiss he takes a big sip of his water, once he puts it down you wipe your thumb over his wet lips. "You sure your okay? Your not getting sick are you?" He's really warm so you place your palm onto his head. But he isn't hot there at all, Interesting.

"I'm..-" He takes a deep breath. He meant to say he's fine but..he's not and it wouldn't be fair to pretend that he is.

"I'm really nervous, about..-" He makes a funny hand gesture between the two of you.

"Oh.." You sit back once you notice.

"It's just been a while and I haven't been with anyone since.. -" He stops talking.

"We don't have to Wade! God im so sorry, please don't feel pressured!" You should have thought of that but you were too busy thinking about how he's driving you crazy lately.

"No no! It's okay I...- I want to" He smiles softly. "God believe me I really do, im just so nervous about it, I know sex. I know how to have great sex ! I mean I've been having sex since i was 18. That's a long time! I just haven't had sex with you and you make me..- god you make me so incredibly nervous" He sighs.

Its a strange but nice compliment, that you make him that nervous and that he's honest how difficult it is to sleep with someone after his wife died. It helps you to approach this with a full heart and empathy, pushing the need you have for him down a bit.

"Slow and steady?" You smile.

"YES! Yes....slow." He nods, staring at your lips and then your hands. Taking your right hand into his and that gives you an idea.

"Why don't you Show me Wade? Show me exactly what you like. I want this to be perfect for you" You squeeze his big hand gently.

His face turns a whole different shade of Red, it spreads to his ears and his chest. It's insanely difficult to not lean in for a heated kiss again. "Show you how?" He asks even though you are pretty sure he knows the answer to that.

"Move your hands on yourself the way you like to be touched so I can do it later.." your voice got a bit deeper and lower, it's beautiful to watch him fight the nervousness in this throat and hands. He gives you a quick nod. Moving his hands to his thighs, slowly running them up and down.

"I'm..- I'm sensitive on my thighs. It's little squeezes or moving a hand up slowly that really gets me" He sighs softly under your gaze. You take in the way he runs his right hand up his inner thigh, stopping before he gets too close to his crotch and then he moves it back down.

"Your doing great, show me more" You sit next to him on your knees. Hands on your thighs.

"I gotta take this off I think to show you..." He tugs at his shirt.

"Take it off if you feel comfortable enough." You throw him another warm smile and he nods. Tugging at the neck of his shirt and then he pulls it over his head, folding it neatly instead of tossing it somewhere.

The heat spread over his chest is intoxicating and it takes everything in you not to lean in and kiss his grey chest hair.

You keep a note on how his hand is still running along his own thigh, it looks like a big self soothing kind of touch.

Wade moves his other hand flat onto his chest, spreading his fingers through his chest hair and running his palm over his sternum. "That's where I feel that anxious bubble up sometimes and just running a palm along here calms me down, a lot, it's also nice when that hand wanders and squeezes my chest or uhm" He runs his thumb over his own nipple, a Sound comes out of him that suprises you a bit.

"Or that yeah" He chuckles and it slowly feels like he's calming down some.

"You are really sensitive aren't you?" It's torture at this point to keep your hands to yourself.

"I'd call it responsive? Just really react to everything very intensely and that's great! I mean it can be amazing but when it's something I don't like I just..- I react heavily to that too" He frowns a bit.

"I understand that. I get why it's so difficult, thank you for telling me Wade, seriously. I only want you to feel good." You point out.

You can see how crazy nervous it would make someone, being with the same woman for 20 years, she knew exactly how to touch him.. and now that's gone and readjusting such a set in Stone routine seems impossibly difficult.

It would be difficult for yourself too. And maybe over time you can do small tiny little changes and he Blooms again and tries out more things again. You'd love to see that Version of him.

"Thank you for being so patient with me" Wade leans closer this time, this time he's the one pressing his lips onto yours and kissing you deeply. And it really does feel better this way.

He feels a lot more into it then he did before.

When he breaks off the kiss you don't chase it, you let him continue to show you.

"Of course.." You whisper. Watching his hands work on his belt and zipper, god now the room suddenly got really really hot. The moan that comes rumbling out of his throat when he moves his hand into his briefs is sinful.

"God Wade, you look so beautiful right now. I don't think you even know how insanely hot you are, everything you do gets me. Especially watching you getting more and more comfortable for me, can I please touch you? Like one of the ways you showed me?" You can't take this anymore..

"I've never felt this way before, never touched myself that way, so please do" Wade huffs. He doesn't even think of himself as that sexy.

You nod and place your hand onto his chest just like he showed you, pressing your palm into his sternum while his hand strokes his cock in his underwear. Christ.

Your other hand moves to his thigh, tracing the inside up and down. "Like that?" You ask.

"Yes..exactly like that sweetheart" He sighs deeply and leans in for another kiss. While you kiss you can feel his hand slowly reaching out to take yours, you didn't expect that at all but he replaces his hand with yours and suddenly you have a insanely warm, thick and hard as a Rock cock in your hand. You pull back from the kiss, and the expression on his face makes your thighs clench together.

"You want to give me some more notes here Wade?" A big smirk is on your lips while you carefully move your hand up and down his lenght.

But Wade shakes his head "I..uh, I got nothing to add you are doing it perfectly" and for a moment you can see something almost like disbelieve in his eyes. That he can't believe he found a woman who knows exactly how to touch him the way he really likes it. This whole dating and finding out thing must have been really hard.

"Tell me what you like, please, it's been so about me I don't want you to feel left out!" Wade holds his hand above your thighs not too sure if he can touch or not. "I don't feel that way at all, I really want to just please you Wade, I want you to feel great and im sure whatever way you have me I'd be fantastic" You smile again when he grabs your thigh and kisses your cheek and your bodies slowly shift on the couch.

Until you find yourself underneath him, spreading your legs for him while your hand still slowly strokes up and down his cock.

His hands run up your sides, it feels like he's really taking in everything, the way you look on your back and how your clothes fall, the way your legs are at his sides. He really is a pretty slow and sensual guy, this is going to be a wild time for sure.

Your hand carefully moves out of his pants, keeping your hands to yourself for now. You have a feeling this really is only about you right now. You watch his fingers open the buttons on your thin shirt, one by one, he's being so slow and careful with it. You wear a simple top underneath which frames your chest pretty nicely, which, following his eyes he noticed.

Then he looks into your eyes "You are beautiful, really, breathtaking" He whispers. Helping you out of your shirt and out of your top as well. It's a good thing you decided on the dark blue bra and dark blue pair of lace panties tonight. His fingers stroke over the Material of the cup around your breast. These slow exploring touches really set your body on fire.

Then Wade opens yours pants, drags them slowly down your thighs and leans back to pull them off your feet. Both of his hands trace your leg back up from your ankles to your hips. Nobody ever took this much time appreciating your body before.

"You still okay? You can tell me when you want to stop Wade.." You stroke a hand over his cheek and the look on his face is adoreable. "I'm perfect, I was so nervous about this whole thing and now? Now I want to touch every inch of you, kiss every inch of you.." He whispers, leaning down to press his lips onto yours again and you move your hands back to how he showed you he likes it.

During that slow and Intense kiss you can feel his hand wander over your body again. Cupping your still clothed breast and then he drags it over your stomach, and then between your legs. His fingers stroke over the Material of your underwear and you wish your weren't wearing it anymore. It's almost as if that's what he's exactly teasing at, his fingers softly press against the fabric and you start to feel some mild friction.

His lips wander from your mouth to your neck.

"You are driving me crazy" You whisper and his fingers dig a bit deeper into your underwear. The way his lips trace your skin is so steady, so warm, so comfortable. He really meant it, wanting to kiss every inch of you. Against your will your hips move up just a little to meet more friction and instead of making you behave Wade moves his hand into your underwear, doing the exact same thing but now his two fingers rub against skin! "Wade...-" You moan out.

His fingers stroke over your clit but so painfully slow that there is no way you could ever cum from that and you are starting to think that's the whole purpose of doing it all so slow. He's savoring the moment while driving you absolutely crazy at the same time. And that works perfectly for the both of you.

Your hand wanders back into his underwear as well, stroking your hand over his cock just like she showed you. And when he moans you squirm underneath him, god that was the hottest moan you ever heard.

Wade really forgot how great it felt to be touched just exactly right by someone, when that gear just flips and everything they do is an instant turn on.. he missed that feeling, he missed that feeling so very much. He doesn't feel guilty anymore about seeking what he desires and getting what he needs, he needs a new emotional connection to someone, he really needs to be intimate with someone again. He’s truly happy that he found you. And he will make damn sure to show you his appreciation as best as he possibly can.

“Take it to the next step when you feel ready Wade okay?” You need to make sure he's okay. You can't even imagine how much meaning this has for him, how he's scared of it and how much he craves it at the same time.

When he nods and pulls back you can hear your own heart pounding in your chest. It's really happening..- After all these dates and getting to know someone, you finally get to know Wade all the way.

When he takes off every last piece of your and his clothing and suddenly you both are just…naked, on the couch. Overcome by a small wave of shyness you hesitate with opening your legs again for him, it was a different thing while you still had your bra and underwear on. Now everything is so vulnerable.

His hands stroke up your thighs and the look in his eyes asks for silent permission. Despite the nervous throbbing in your body you open your legs slowly and his hands get a hold on your hips while his body moves between your thighs.

He places the sweetest and deepest kiss onto your lips while his hand guides himself to your heated, longing core.

“Wade..” You move your hands to his face. Kissing his lips.

“You mean the World to me, if at any point you change your mind about this please tell me, we’re gonna be okay. I promise” his face lights up into a pure smile, you can see the youth in him, his age not suiting him at the moment at all, he looks like a young man drowned in love and it causes you to melt right underneath him.

“We’re gonna be okay..-” He repeats before he places his tip against you, never has a man pushed himself into you this slowly. Everytime you think that's gonna be it another inch disappears inside of you, your legs slowly wrap around his waist and when he's all the way inside he stops moving his entire body.

He's so quiet it would worry if you wouldn't know that he's going to open up if anything ever bothers him.

He feels incredible. He feels so comfortable. He gives your body enough time to accept him, to adjust to him, it's a perfect fit and somehow you knew it would be.

You didn't expect him to lift his head and look at you, holding your gaze when he starts to move his hips so carefully and gently.

Drawing a deep and long moan out of you.

Not knowing he enjoys it that slow has you melting even further into the couch, what a cruel beauty it is, every movement gets dragged out and the body building up to some kind of grand release goes on and on and on…

Almost as if there is no end in sight. But it's heaven, feeling him so closely, feeling the steady weight and gentle drag of his cock deep inside of you while he kisses your skin and moans the occasional word into your ear is heaven. The time he's able to pull while he keeps this up, keeps this so slow.. it feels like you are dreaming, as if you are connected for hours.

You touch him the way he showed you again, hand pressing and stroking over his chest when you get surprised by a deep moan. His hips barely change pace but it's enough to have you clawing at his shoulders. You can't take the building up to it anymore, he's so easily moving in and almost out of you because it made you incredibly wet to have this feeling last this long. You worry about cleaning the couch pillows tomorrow… for now all you want is his release, you need to look into his eyes when he finally spills into your body and lets go of this weight on his shoulders. Of this guilt he's been carrying for simply being a human being with needs and desires.

Your hands move his head gently closer to yours. “You're okay Wade, you're fine..- let go for me Baby.. I promise we're gonna be just fine” You press a kiss onto his cheek and then onto his other. He nods and places his lips onto yours when he thrusts just the smallest bit harder, and that added speed makes you clench around him, makes your back arch slightly off the couch while you loudly moan out his name.. “Wade…oh, fuck! Wade…” Your body is shaking from that orgasm. That pleasure. Like an elastic Band that just suddenly snapped and right after you feel him, you feel his cum fill you up while his hands clutch your hips and his head falls onto your shoulder. The moans coming out of him as he thrusts his full release into you almost sound broken, his first time since his wife passed that he made love to a woman again. That's how these moans Sound like.

When his hips stop moving you pull him into a close hug.

“God…-” He sighs deeply. “Oh why did I wait this long!” He mumbles, placing kisses onto your shoulder and collarbone. “That was incredible. Wow.” He lifts his head to finally look at you again. The mood is easy, he seems so happy, so lit up by finally letting go of this. Getting it over with so to speak. Moving on..

“It was pretty good.” You tease softly.

“How uh, how good?” He bites his tongue with a huff “You know what? Nevermind. I don't think I wanna know!” He shrugs.

“Well we can do it again…and again..and-” He kisses you deeply, starved, as if the two of you didn't just finish. “You bet sweetheart, you better be ready for that fire you started” He smirks wide. “Oh easy now cowboy!” You laugh and he kisses your head. “How about some hot coco and another Episode of this show?” He suggests. “That sounds amazing, but..- Stay for a bit? With me? Like this?” You run your hands over his back and his sides.

“Anything for you love, thank you for being so patient and..- understanding. You made me very very happy” Wade places another kiss onto your cheek before you two hold each other tightly again. You could seriously fall asleep like this, it's the most comfortable you have felt in a while…a long while.

“It was my pleasure Wade” You smile.

🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

Hey thank you for reading and I really hope I did this prompt justice, also my very first time writing as Wade Felton !!!! Ahhh.

I did not read this for any mistakes yet so don't point out my probably plenty mistakes! Haha.

Tags: @toogaytofunctiondangit

[forgetriestowrite]

the little twist with Cassida (is that how you spell it?) caught me blindsided bc like. I knew there had to be something in this tape that Ludinus thought would be a viable piece of evidence for his perspective but I didn't think it would be THAT.

"guys we can help you win your war, we'll kill the betrayers with this New God-Killing Lazer"

"what no we love them"

UGHH NOW I HAVE TO WATCH A TRAGEDY. WHAT THE FUCK BRENNAN.

To be clear, I love it, I love this shit so much, I'm eating it up like the little tragic lore gremlin I am

I'm also beginning the mental preparation I'm going to need to survive the last episode

[nick-chinchill]

MOUTHWASHING TIMELINE

Hey Folks! I'm officially on this ride down and, last time I played, I made notes to put together a timeline to help out with people's analysises and theory-crafting :D I've done my best to keep it mostly factual without inserting my own opinions on what might have happened at that point in the game while putting in details that I think are important or noteworthy for the narrative. The 'Chapter' numbers refers to when we see this occur in the game, and the "bizzaro" episodes are listed at the bottom. Naturally, there's spoilers. Hopefully this can be useful to someone out there c:

//BEFORE THE CRASH

7 DAYS (Chapter 2) - The Psyche Evaluations are underway. Anya signs off Curly and gives him a note from Swansea. Curly agrees to do Jimmy's on her behalf. - Curly goes to Utility to see what's up. Daisuke accidently set off the emergency foam and they need his authority to get the axe to free him. He gives it to Swansea, then leaves with Jimmy to do his psyche eval. - The steps to the cockpit extend. Curly wades through red liquid, as scaffolding rises around him and WARNING signs appear. A yellow sun rises, exploding. Curly walks to the cockpit door. - Curly does Jimmy's pysche eval. They have a talk 'off record' about their positions; Jimmy climbing up the ladder while Curly worries about staying 'safe' with his current position. - News arrives from Corporate. Jimmy leaves, and Curly reads the note. 6 DAYS (Chapter 5) - The Birthday Party! Curly is surprised by the crew and prepares the cake. As they sit to eat, he reveals the news - they won't have jobs once they arrive. Anya frets that she has no savings and Jimmy reacts nastily towards Curly, accusing him of abandoning the crew. Curly cuts the cake.

2 DAYS (Chapter 10) - The Night-time screen scene with Anya. She and Curly discuss the night-time screen, and Anya mentions the dead pixel. Curly says he focuses on the bigger picture. Anya questions how long it'll be til they arrive at Earth (8 months-ish) and why there's no locks on the bedroom doors. Curly says; for [SAFETY].

1 DAY (Chapter 14) - The Cockpit talk. Anya's hidden the gun but assures Curly she won't hurt herself. Curly mentions she didn't get checks on her mental health and he should have checked on her. - Anya reveals she's pregnant. Curly promises to talk to Jimmy.

0 DAYS (Chapter 16) - The Day of the Crash. Anya reveals she told Jimmy she's pregnant, and doesn't want him around. Curly rushes to talk to Jimmy. - Curly tries to assure Jimmy they can fix this. Jimmy talks about how this will reflect on them when they get back. He talks about how this could all be remembered as a 'tragedy', and claims he will take care of it. Throughout this chat, the words [TAKE CARE OF IT. KILLS NINETY NINE PERCENT] flash. - Alarms blare. Curly rushes to the cockpit as the ship crashes. THE CRASH (Prologue) - Jimmy crashes the ship. When he leaves, the corridors loop. Polle suddenly appears, mutating each time with the cries of a baby.

//AFTER THE CRASH

2 MONTHS (Chapter 1) - The crew decide to break into the cargo hold. Anya asks Jimmy to give Curly his meds, unable to take the sounds Curly makes. Jimmy does so (it sounds physical). He then gets the Code Scanner and enters the cargo. ---------- (Chapter 4) - The cargo is full of mouthwash. Anya mentions the sugar making it useless as a disinfectant. Swansea starts drinking it.

3 MONTHS (Chapter 6) - Jimmy awakens late one night. Daisuke is still sleeping as Curly moans in pain. Swansea and Anya are talking in the cockpit - Anya was crying. Jimmy leaves to give Curly his meds, lamenting to Curly that he 'knows what the others are thinking'. This time it sounds violent and Curly sobs afterwards.

4 MONTHS (Chapter 8) - Daisuke is drunk on the floor, in despair and talks about his mother. Polle has been destroyed in the lounge. Anya considers drinking the mouthwash, but says it won't 'fix anything'. She mentions there's medicine in a cabinet they can reach if the foam is cleared. Swansea is grooving and, when approached for the axe, breaks the sunset screen. Jimmy retrieves the meds and shouts at Anya about being told to do things. After he approaches Curly, talking at him about the pressures of being captain. He gives him his meds. It doesn't sound violent, but Curly still sobs after.

5 MONTHS (Chapter 11) - Anya locks herself in the med bay with Curly. Daisuke is worried and alerts Jimmy. Anya says she'll do 'what [Jimmy] said she should have done'. Swansea is drunk outside Utility and won't let them enter, claiming it's full of the emergency foam ---------- (Chapter 13) - Jimmy decides to drug Swansea with a spiked cocktail. He uses the last of the disinfectant for it. - Upon entering Utility, it's not very foamy at all and there's one working cyropod. Jimmy assumes Swansea was saving it for himself and pressures Daisuke to climb into the unsafe vent. - Daisuke ultimately agrees and is critically injured, but makes it into the med bay.

8 HOURS UNTIL JUDGEMENT (Chapter 12) - Daisuke is critically injured. Swansea says they need disinfectant (it's been used) and goes to search the med bay. There's a smear effect where Curly is, and the sunset screen is now a WARNING logo. - Upon approaching the cargo, Jimmy sees Daisuke's grave. Upon scanning it, it reveals a path of blood, leading into a maze. A monstrous horse that can only be seen with the scanner hunts Jimmy. - Jimmy retrieves a bottle of mouthwash from the cargo [TAKE CARE OF IT. RESPONSIBILITY] and uses it on Daisuke's wounds. Daisuke screams.

6 HOURS UNTIL JUDGEMENT (Chapter 15) - Daisuke is still in immense pain. Swansea takes the axe and gives him a calming speech, before mercy killing him. - Jimmy blows up at Swansea, claiming he could have fixed this and accusing Swansea of holding onto the last cyropod for himself. - Swansea rebutes him, revealing he's talked to Anya who told him 'all sorts of things'. - Jimmy goes to med bay where Anyas corpse is now visible and retrieves the gun. Curly laughs when he gets hold of it. Swansea charges at Jimmy with the axe. ---------- (Chapter 9) - Jimmy secures the cockpit door with rope and a metal pipe. Swansea breaks the glass to get in to kill Jimmy.

1 HOUR UNTIL JUDGEMENT (Chapter 17) - Jimmy hosts his own birthday party with the corpses of the crew. They clap and call for a speech. He brings Curly and lays him on the table, giving a speech about how he forgives him. He takes the knife and cuts into Curly's leg. Curly screams.

0 HOURS UNTIL JUDGEMENT (Chapter 21) - Jimmy lifts Curly from the table. There's nothing around them but the table and the door. He carries him to Utility. - Jimmy places Curly in the cyropod. He claims they've fixed it... he fixed it. - Jimmy shoots himself. - The cyropod begins to freeze as credits roll.

//TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

SECTION 1 (Chapter 3) - Let's watch Television! There's a lot on - pro capitalism cartoons, space footage, a show about atoms, footage of a meat plant, a skeleton dancing, static, and an ad for Dragonbreath X Mouthwash... SECTION 2 (Chapter 7) - Cake with Curly! Jimmy and Curly sit and talk, before Curly encourages Jimmy to cut the cake. Jimmy leaves and finds an axe in the cockpit, wedged in the captains chair. When he returns, Curly is laid on the table. He swings the axe at him. SECTION 3 (Chapter 18) - Enter the Vents. Daisuke turns and leaves - approaching him snaps the vents into red lighting and leaves a hibiscus flower on the floor. - Progressing reveals a sign saying 'No Turning Back Now'. As Jimmy backs away, he crosses a small pile of hibiscus flowers, a gameboy, a pair of pink dumbells and a pile of arms. Another vent has a note saying 'Responsibility'. - Jimmy enters the hallways, but they rotate into a fall. He falls towards an eye-like hole, lined with hibiscus', into a pit full of Polle posters. He falls further, into a room with an open vent in a wall covered in axes. - The vent is full of foam, exposed wires and metal bars. Another hibiscus flower is hidden on the path. He falls through once more - He lands in front of Swansea, tied to a chair. Jimmy finds the gun on the floor and picks it up, pointing it at Swansea and firing. - They're now in a cemetary. If Jimmy is killed by Swansea, he revives in a tomb with Daisuke's picture framed with hibiscus flowers. Jimmy ultimately shoots Swansea. - They face each other - Swansea on the chair, Jimmy before him. Swansea gives Jimmy a speech about his life - the best days of his life were his days as an alcoholic. Jimmy claims he can still fix things, before lifting the gun to shoot him.

SECTION 4 (Chapter 19) - Swansea is dead. - The corridor out of Utility elongates into an endless spiral. Curly watches from under the floor, then as hundreds of eyes on the walls. - The corridor becomes flesh. Jimmy exits out of Curly's mouth and approaches Curly on an operating table, in front of a television. The television plays a cartoon about a party with a cake. It stops - the word FEAST appears. - Jimmy takes a piece of Curly's leg and feeds it to him. Curly won't swallow until the images on the screen align, requiring the gears on his body to be turned. Finally, Curly swallows. - HELP ME appears on the screen. - Jimmy walks through space to approach Curly, who sits on fire. They talk; Jimmy breaks down and apologises to Curly.

SECTION 5 (Chapter 20) - In the vents, a flesh mass awaits. Using an ultrasound machine, Jimmy inspects it. He ultimately gets the image of a baby on the screen. - The mass opens it's eyes and opens it's mouth - a horse creature emerges, crying like a baby. - The mouthwashing slogans repeat, amidst [I HOPE THIS HURTS]. - In the vents, the creature rushes through, seeking out Jimmy and crying. - Jimmy walks through a corridor full of the crew's employee IDs. They cover the floor, the walls, the air. It leads to a stair case, with bottles of mouthwash falling down. - At the top, Polle waits. Jimmy speaks with Polle, who proceeds to tell him why he sucks. - Jimmy insists that he and Curly can still both be heroes, that things can still be fixed and made right. Polle asks why, if that's true, why is he "still so concerned with him".

[ramblings-of-a-chaotic-neutral]

Hello everyone! I wasn't planning on posting a new au idea so soon (since I'm trying to finish up the next chapter of "What to do when an Eldritch God Decides That You're Friend-Shaped" 😅), but this au idea formed while I was watching "The Nightmare Begins" (the season 2 ep where Morgana first discovers her magic and goes to the druids, only to see them slaughtered) and it decided to derail my writing schedule. With some encouragement from the amazing artist and writer @guiltyscarlet, this au was born! I hope you all enjoy!

In this au, Merlin tells Morgana about his own magic during "The Nightmare Begins", so Merlin doesn't send her to the druids for help. He offers to help her learn about her own magic and control it, and she's just so relieved to have someone who understands. Morgana is heartbreakingly scared throughout the entire episode, so having Merlin there to fully support her and offer her genuine help with hiding her powers is life-changing for her. She essentially gets the same wisdom from Merlin as she would have from the druids: that magic is beautiful and not something to fear.

Merlin and Morgana spend the next few months growing closer (much to Arthur's horror, as he interprets it as them being romantically involved). Morgana swiftly gains control over her own powers, and she practices spells with Merlin. Both of them are just so happy to have someone who understands, a friend that they don't have to hide from or fear! They essentially become each other's comfort person.

But despite Merlin's insistence that things will become better once Arthur is king, that they just have to wait and have patience and everything will turn out fine, Morgana isn't so sure. Merlin is her dear friend, but she cannot buy into his "hope for the future and work from the background" mentality. No, Morgana knows that change will only come from action, action that Merlin is too kind, too caring to take. Morgana would never begrudge Merlin for his own kind heart, it is what makes him who he is after all, but she simply cannot show mercy to Uther as Merlin has done.

However, after a few months, Morgause comes to town. While Morgana's nightmares had become much more manageable with Merlin's help, they still hadn't ceased entirely. So, when Morgause gave her the healing bracelet that made them stop completely, Morgana believed that she had found another person like Merlin: someone who understood her and could support her!

So when Morgause sent her a message to meet in the woods, Morgana of course accepted. Now she could have two people to share her gifts with! And even better, Morgause wants to take action against Uther! They can work together to bring about Uther's downfall, and kind, caring magic users like Merlin all over Camelot will be safe from his cruelty and madness! It's perfect... up until the part where Morgause tries to take Camelot by force with a sleeping spell and the knights of Medhir, prepared to kill anyone who stands against her, magic user or not. This, this was not the grand liberation of Camelot that Morgana had been promised!

In the end, Merlin convinces Morgana herself to stand against Morgause and force her to lift the sleeping spell, but when Morgause still begs Morgana to come with her, Morgana tearfully tells Merlin that she appreciates all that he's done for her, but she needs to get away from Camelot, away from Uther. To Morgana, going with Morgause is the only way to save Camelot from Uther, as she could learn from Morgause and focus her attacks on Uther, thereby saving all of the magic users in Camelot, including Merlin himself.

Merlin had risked his life to save her, now she was going to return the favor. This was the only way.

Merlin begs her to reconsider, to at least not go with Morgause of all people, but Morgana won't listen. She has to do this, for all of their sakes. She takes Morgause's hand, and they both disappear.

From there, Morgana and Morgause spend a year travelling around while Morgause trains her in the ways of the Priestesses of the Old Religion. Morgana makes quick progress, and her magic becomes formidable in no time. After a year, Morgana plants herself in the woods to be "discovered" by the knights of Camelot and makes her grand homecoming to Camelot. In contrast to canon, this time when Morgana returns to Camelot, she's genuinely glad to see Merlin again.

After her return, she quickly pulls Merlin aside and, after they spend the evening catching up and expressing how glad they both are that the other is alright after a year apart, Morgana tells Merlin of her plans with Morgause and Cenred, as she doesn't want him to get hurt in the crossfire. Merlin is horrified at the plan, even though Morgana emphasizes that Cenred's soldiers are under strict orders not to harm civilians and to prioritize killing Uther. Merlin, of course, protests her plans, but Morgana shuts him down. Despite their now slightly tense situation, Merlin reiterates his vow that, no matter what, he will never tell a soul about Morgana's magic, and Morgana swears the same to him.

Season three goes much the same way, except Morgana never targets Arthur or Gwen and Merlin never tries to kill Morgana on Kilgharrah's orders. Morgana instead trips on her own, leading to a head injury that Merlin heals with a spell that he forced from Kilgharrah, and the whole "Uther is Morgana's father reveal" happens the same way. This time, Morgana also knows that Merlin went out of his way to save her life with his magic, which only reinforces her belief that Merlin is too kind to do what needs to be done and will get himself killed if Uther is allowed to live.

During Morgana's takeover of Camelot with Morgause's immortal army in the season 3 finale, Morgana doesn't kill civilians and also tries to get Merlin on her side. Her recruitment pitch to Merlin was essentially was something along the lines of "hey, now that I'm in charge, nice magic users like you can be protected! Your kindness inspired me to do this so you and others like you don't have to be afraid anymore! Join me and you can spend the rest of your life using your magic to make flowers bloom and heal people, all of the things you said magic should be used for! :D You just need to ditch Arthur."

And that doesn't reassure Merlin, who's been sold on Arthur's eventual golden reign for years now, one bit. If anything, Merlin feels guilty, as Morgana had taken over Camelot by force and become this hardened version of herself in part because of him.

When Merlin tries to point out how Morgana's takeover and her methods of ruling were scaring people rather than making them feel safer, Morgana used that argument against him, telling Merlin how he could use his kind heart to advise her on ways to make the people of Camelot feel safer and more accepting of magic if he only joined her. Morgana wanted him as one of her chief advisors, right next to Morgause. Morgana already had Morgause to tell her when she needed to be harsher, and now she could have Merlin to tell her when she needed to be softer.

Merlin, however, still rejects her offer, but Morgana isn't surprised. She knows that Merlin's ultimate loyalty lies with Arthur, and once again, she will not begrudge him for that. From there, Merlin manages to escape and meets back up with Arthur, and the round table is formed as per usual. But, before Merlin escaped, Morgana asked him if, after all of this, they could still be friends. Merlin replied that yes, they could.

In this au, Morgause wasn't injured when Merlin struck the cup of life, so Morgana and a healthy Morgause escape together to plot more ways to conquer Camelot, and Merlin still tries to stop them at every turn. While he infuriates Morgause, he and Morgana almost start to see it as a friendly rivalry between the two of them.

I'd imagine that this au has a pretty happy ending, with Arthur and Morgana being able to have a reconciliation or perhaps even bonding over wanting to protect Merlin! Or maybe they have a sibling rivalry to see who can be the better friend to Merlin lol!

And that's all for this au for now! Let me know if you'd like a to see a continuation of this au! A big thank you again to @guiltyscarlet for your support! I'd encourage everyone to go check out their Merlin art!

And, as always, thank you for reading through my ramblings! :D

[starstruckbyacomet]

Goodbye for Now

Almost 2 months ago I posted a list of possible hurdles that Oliver had warned us about (link):

It's possibly because of something from Tommy's past (we might get a Tommy Begins of some sort).

It possibly would happen through episodes 8x05 and 8x06.

Buck will go to Bobby, Maddie, and Eddie for support during that period.

Buck might find out about Tommy's past (being a racist and mysoginist a-hole) and couldn't accept it, or

Tommy might meet Carla. Carla might tell Buck that Tommy had lied to Abby and used her as a beard in the past. Abby was hurt badly because of it, and Buck couldn't accept it.

Buck might break up with Tommy.

Buck might try to date another man or a woman (if they want to emphasize that Buck is bisexual, not gay).

When I made the above list, I half-jokingly wrote down the worst posssibilities I could think of. The purpose of my post back then is to prepare other Tevan shippers who at the time had doubt about the relationship. I told them that grown-up relationships had all sorts of challenges, including break-ups. I also told them to watch Disney Princess movies if they couldn't handle it.

Who knew that almost 2 months later I have to swallow my own pills?

As contradictive as it sounds, I'm not happy that my predictions come true, including the possibility of Buck dating men & women again (prediction #7) which could happen based on interview with Oliver Stark (link)

Will Buck and Tommy make up?

Negative sign:

There are two interviews with Lou which I still refused to read, because the writers used to be Buddie baiters. But according to fans who have read it, the break up seems final.

Positive signs:

A)) 9-1-1 official Instagram account wouldn't follow Lou in the first place if he wouldn't stay for long term. Last time I check, 9-1-1 account still following Lou.

B)) Things that I wrote in my previous post still stand (link).

Tim and Oliver has said they wanted Buck to get out of the relationship hamster wheel and have a steady meaningful one instead.

Unlike Abby, whom they broke up with Buck because Tim had difficulties in writing her interaction with other 118 family members, Tommy has known most of the 118 family even before Buck does. There is no difficulty in making scripts where Tommy interacts with other 118 members without Buck's presence.

And the most important reason is: THE RATING IS HIGH when Tevan relationship is going strong.

My conclusion: There are 2 options:

The break-up is only temporary, to spice things up. Unfortunately, the timing is really bad because it is aired after the fuck-up US election result 🤦.

Tommy is moving to the new 9-1-1 spin-off, which probably located in Hawaii (link). If this happens, the break-up might be permanent, but it will be good for Lou's career.

What's next?

Although I think Tommy will come back in the 9-1-1 universe, I'm still upset. The 2nd term of Trump and Tevan's break-up happened within the same week! WTF??? I refuse to deal with both at the same time.

This is a list of what I will and will not do, and what I've done:

I will not harrass Tim Minear, Oliver Stark, or even the show on social media. I will not post my disappointment on unrelated social media contents. We have experienced how annoying it was when toxic Buddie fans did it. I refuse to do the same. I suggest other Tevan fans too. We are better than that.

I have unfollowed all 9-1-1 related social media accounts, both official and not. Yes, it is included 911bts and 911cast Tumblr accounts. I think this is a healthy way to voice my disappointment and to maintain my mental health.

I will stop watching the show until Tommy is (or, is officially announced to be) back on screen. The only exception will be when they show Bathena's new house for the first time, because I've been waiting to see it. Other than that, just no. Not even when Eddie reunites with Chris, if that happens before Tommy is back on screen. This step might even save me a few bucks, actually 😅.

I will stop engaging with 9-1-1 related contents on the internet. I will not read any articles about the show. I will not comment, post, reblog or do anything with contents about 9-1-1 on the internet.

I will stop reading 9-1-1 fics because I never comfortable following ships which are against canon. That's why I don't ship Buddie. And now that Tevan broke-up, I cannot engage with AUs where they are still together.

If you think Tevan will make up, why do you quit the show? Because:

I consume entertainment contents to be entertained, not to be depressed. I used to skip sad chapters on novels, and only read them when I'm ready. Buck without Tommy is a sad chapter for me, so I skip it.

This is my way to voice my disappointment in a healthy way. Things that matter the most for the show are rating/viewership and rating/viewership-related metrics. My actions may not have significant impacts to the show, but I am satisfied, nonetheless. Especially, after Oliver's comment that he has actively asked Tim Minear to 'Let Buck F–k' men and women (link). His ask is not only a regression to slutty Buck 1.0 (which we thought he has grown out of), but also strengthening the stereotype that bisexual people are easy to fuck around. A stereotype that a lot of bisexual people want to shred.

Tim Minear and Oliver Stark have the right to make the story as they see fit. This show is not customed to my preference. I'm very much aware of that. This is a "love it or leave it" product. So, I choose to leave it. For now.

To my followers: As I mentioned in my account, you can unfollow me. I use Tumblr as a scrapbook, not to gain followers. I was actually surprised and felt a bit guilty when people start following me, because I don't create arts, gifs, or fics. So, feel free to unfollow me. No hard feeling.

To other Tevan shippers: I know this is beyond disappointing, but please keep your online behavior in check. Please keep in mind that if you post your disapointment in social media, toxic Buddie shippers will eat you alive. Even if you don't, Buddie shippers will be gloating all over the internet. If you can't handle it, I suggest to forgo any interactions in 9-1-1 social media, at least temporarily.

Special thanks to my fellow Tevan fans and the lovely Buddietommy multishippers whom I've met during this journey. I hope we'll meet again. What a roller-coaster ride.

Now, back to Disney Princess movies... 😂

[weebsinstash]

Ok so tmi (on the tmi blog lol) but the first day of my Cycle I had a dream that I had just given birth and I was holding my baby and I was goddamn euphoric even though the logical part of me was like “???? I am 22 and broke i CANNOT have a baby rn” and I woke up crying and called my friends like I WANNA HAVE A BAAAAAABYYYYY I WANT A BAAAAAAABYYYYYYYY so basically. Imagine. Miguel catches you in a moment of weakness. And he NEVER. FUCKING. FORGETS IT.

Oh wow girlie those period hormones grabbed you by the uterus and absolutely REFUSED to let go

NO BUT FOR REAL don't look at me but I've been thinking of a concerning number of ideas where it's like, "Reader suddenly realizes they may want a baby and is actually putting serious thought into it and Miguel finds out (bet your ass Peter B tells him, i can see him as a "well intentioned" platonic guardian/mentor figure who sells you out to Miguel the second he thinks you're doing something risky or he thinks it's for your own good) and Miguel starts making all these plans and preparations behind your back to have a baby with you" and obviously I like the extra juicy option of "he found out you got extremely depressed and tied your tubes or something because you either see no point in you having a kid/think it's too late, OR, Miguel was the only person you were looking at as a potential father and you either decide it wouldn't work out or he does something to hurt you and you lose trust in him" so like, the double whammy combo of him being hit with the news you basically walled off your fertility that he's kinda fantasizing about AND you blame him for it

You see him chokeslam Miles on the train and having all these serious anger and stress issues and you're like "hmmmm don't like that" and basically make the tubal ligation appointment that week (but, you know, he'll either interfere before you can actually get it or even reverse it later on)

Like. Ugh I'm not sure if I should go super into detail bc I feel like I want to put this scene in the YouTwo fic or in a different idea i have thats more centered around motherhood, but, picture he catches you in his monitor room one day after you've lost your home dimension, you're having a little more than just a small identity crisis, and he catches you having Lyla show you the model for your life, or what the algorithm had predicted your life was supposed to be like before your universe just magically poofed away. You're just staring at these holograms with tears running down your face and he occasionally catches you starting to reach out like you want to touch what you see. He comes to stop you because he already knows all too well where this could lead, you can't become tempted to break canon and go somewhere else, but you beg him to let you watch just a little longer

"I was supposed to get MARRIED! I was supposed to have a BABY! I was supposed to have a family!! It's not fair!!"

And he's in total agreement with you because, who even fucking knows why your universe suddenly destabilized and vanished. He sees you as this person who has so much promise and potential who had their destiny and future literally snatched away from them and now you're lost and confused on what you're supposed to do, like really he totally understands why you feel so aimless. But watching these holograms is like torturing yourself, and he goes to stop you when you just keep crying because this is basically sending you into a critical mental health episode

"Someone was supposed to fall in love with me... we were supposed to have a baby... would I have been a good mom? Would I have had a boy or a girl? Cant you at least let me find out what my daughter's name would have been?"

And it's like NOOOO you can't hit him with the daughter card, don't you see what you've DONE!!! Gets him right in the heart. Now he's got this massive soft spot for you, bigger than it already was anyways, and he can tell over time you're just really starting to, grieve the future you were supposed to have, falling into a depression. Peter B is hanging around with Mayday like he usually does as both men can tell you're really staring at his baby today and he offers to teach you how to hold her. you're standing there misty eyed twirling one of her little curls around your finger as her dad starts volunteering information to you, "you know she's about XYZ months old now, they aren't really talking yet at this age but they're really curious about their surroundings and--"

Miguel watches as you start talking about children and suddenly get this really really tortured expression and just say "it's not meant to happen" and or some combination of "it's too late for me" and gives him his baby back a little too quickly in typical "I am clearly leaving the room to go cry" fashion. Meanwhile Peter B is like 38 wondering why you think you're out of time or it's not supposed to happen

Miguel's working one day and Peter is trying to shove his phone in his face, "you know I think this is one of the BEST photos of Mayday I've ever taken, she's looking so cute here, you just GOTTA see it" and Pete just won't let up and Miguel finally looks just to humor him because the man is being unusually annoying and, it's a photo of Mayday, duh, but being held by you, and you're clearly looking down at her with watering eyes and the smallest little smile that says "I'll die for you" and Peter is just all 😏 as Miguel is 'suddenly' interested in the photo. "That's a really good photo of MAYDAY, right? 😏 I figured you would like it, that photo of MAYDAY 😏" and Miguel is just grumbling and grouchy bc he sees what this guy is tryna do, but he's still like ".... send it to me later, I'm trying to work right now"

It's even worse if you're a member of his strike force because you're constantly around him, Peter B, and Jess. Miguel just, idly wondering where you are and deciding to walk around a little bit and eventually finds that you're having some sort of conversation with Peter B and Jess and he can tell you look really weepy as the other woman invites you to feel her baby kicking, like, you could not more obviously be developing baby fever, and you ARE around that age, and ESPECIALLY if you live in Nueva York because it's like, YEAH you're still a Spider and YEAH you help the Society with stuff but. Your home universe is gone, your canon is gone, you're kind of. Free as a bird really? But you're also scared because, if someone was destined to love you, does that mean it technically isn't meant to be to fall for anyone else? You can't exactly hook up with people at the Spider Society because of canon or them already having relationships, and you don't exactly have identifying documents if you wanted to try and adopt

I think it'd really reach a stressful breaking point if you and the strike force go to another universe to fight an anomaly and Miguel catches you staring out into the crowd of people you just saved and he sees what youre looking at instantly and his heart sinks. Another you, another normal you, never bitten by a Spider, is standing there with her husband and her little sputtering baby, and he has to all but drag you away as you cry "it's not fair, it's not fair, why does SHE get a normal life!!"

Sidebar for a moment, I think that's probably also one thing that would be so INFURIATING about the doppelganger stealing your life story because THEY have a home universe and YOU don't. They take your life, they take literally everything you have left, your friends, your sense of community, your literal purpose. I've already decided on YTs motivations but could you imagine you finding out YouTwo actually has a decent life and maybe even a husband and kid of their own and you're just furious because they're basically abandoning their duties back home not only as a Spider but as a parent/spouse to steal what YOU have? You can't kill them because it would break their canon and kill like countless people but Miguel and the others would def let you beat the shit out of your evil double and get some of your anger out. Like. Jesus could you imagine Miguel kicks you out thinking you're the fake and after you're gone, YouTwo breaks canon and that's what exposes them, or theyre exposed when they eventually take a trip back home and get caught. The Society's regret, the guilt, the anger, just marinate me with the drama

But anyways back to Being Sad and Babycrazy, you go missing one day and Miguel has to decide what to do when he finally tracks your bracelet and you're back in THAT dimension again. He has to physically track you down using your bracelet's signal because you refuse to answer his messages and you're, in the home of the other you while she takes a brief nap, in the nursery, holding her baby. Miguel quietly climbs through the window and you're in a rocking chair and you've got her hugged to your chest and your eyes are closed and you sense him and, obviously cry because you know you have to leave. Unlike with the holograms he doesn't give you any leeway on this, putting his foot down that this has to end here, this cant go on, this is already so dangerous. And, you're good for him and understand, leaving the baby back in its crib as you and Miguel warp away. You're heartbroken but ultimately understanding when he has to disable your watch's ability to visit that specific dimension again, and you're obviously extremely depressed for a while, having multiple Spiders coming to check in on you as word spreads around that you aren't doing well

I can just see Reader becoming kind of desperate because the only options for a baby you really have left is to either 1. get a serious relationship, which you're scared of because you have to trust that person and who can you even pick, you're nervous about breaking canon or something, or 2. Get some random person to impregnate you so you can run off with the baby

Miguel gets a call from Peter B that you went to a bar and you're EXTREMELY wasted as you try to pick someone, ANYONE up and like, you have admirers for sure but there's enough decent people around to keep the creeps in line, clearly you are in a vulnerable state of mind right now, and Miguel gets to tote your drunken ass back home as you drunkenly word vomit all your feelings to him because, unfortunately for you, he has your trust, and you need comfort right now, and you even ask him about what being a parent was like for him. You encouragingly tell him he shouldn't give up if he still wants kids, you trying to be genuinely nice and not trying to imply anything, blubbering about how he deserves to still be happy and he's still got time, and here's Miguel who's practically tracking your cycles at this point, TOTALLY not going to use anything you say to him while you're piss-drunk against you

Especially if you add ABO into the mix and you have a Miguel who's either Alpha/Omega and is already babycrazy af and he sees you literally fucking YEARNING for it, like. You've got a 6'9" Alpha basically looking at you, his poor lil Omega crush, with the big yandere goo goo eyes and how you need all this love and support and stability and how you're in need of a proper husband and of course he's all too willing to volunteer himself for the job. Even if he's too awkward to come right out to you and say it, he'll be thinking in his head and planning behind your back ways to take care of you, keep you away from any drugs/alcohol (no more smoking weed with metro boomin Spiderman, you've gotta detox your body to have a baby! Also, different concept but, Miguel basically keeping you in a bubble to control all your meals and recreational activities and all of that so he can make sure you're perfectly healthy for a baby)

Don't let this man catch you slipping up! Throw you to the Spider Society and you'll come back pregnant 😭 he sees you so depressed and wanting a baby and it's like well, if your life needs new meaning, he can help literally make one for you 😏 he's been feeling protective and nurturing of you anyways, so, it's an extra benefit for him to think of getting to have both you AND a little baby of your very own ❤️

[nipuni]

Some various lighthearted life updates 🏃‍♀️

It's been a very busy last few months! in a good way mostly. We had a friend visiting us from overseas so we showed him around the city and took him to all our favourite places. We also met new people and were invited to a bunch of events so it's been very fun! We are all out of social battery tho so now we are slowing down a bit and getting back to work. Nicolas is on a short work trip to Berlin and I'm back to painting. We also started running! aaand we are also back to watching a bunch of shows and to me talking about it here to like five people 😌

Under the cut cause it's a lot as usual!

We finished watching S13 of Doctor Who! (we still have the specials to go but after that we are all caught up!) I haven't updated in ages so here are lot of opinions!

We really did not enjoy S11 😞 I was aware it wasn't very popular but we were hoping it was for all the wrong reasons, sadly we found many to be valid. Some of the episodes were baffling, Rosa? Kerblam?! the writing of the whole season in general felt like a rushed school assignment. The first part of Spyfall was a strong start for the next season but that ending in the second part was really not it. We did love Sacha Dhawan's Master tho!! and we really love Jodie too, 13th is adorable and reminded us of Ten at times! Jodie is such a fantastic actress that it makes the quality of the writing and everything else around her even more frustrating 😫 S12 was an improvement in general. In the last few episodes It felt like the writing team suddenly remembered the companions could have a personality and agency lmao. Highlights for us were Spyfall one, Fugitive of the Judoon and Haunting of villa Diodati, tho we did also enjoy most other episodes of the season despite their issues.

The timeless child plot reveal felt a bit underwhelming? The idea on itself has potential but it felt mishandled (and it had a bit of a Moffat flavour to it? and not in a good way). I think it was meant to add more depth to the Doctor's lore but in a way it ends up having the opposite effect. Then the flux was just a complete mess. It read like a Marvel sort of plot, very comic book like which is alright I suppose if that is something you enjoy but it felt out of place. But mostly it was just way too much, it got out of hand. Anyway we still have the specials to watch! and I think the Master is in them so we are looking forward to it 🥰

We also watched Broadchurch!! and we LOVED it. We ended up binging all three seasons. Chibnall's writing on this is surprisingly great and Jodie's acting is spectacular she really shines here. Olivia and David are always brilliant!! honestly everyone's acting was amazing. This series had us both tearing up every five scenes. The direction and the music are outstanding. I could watch Hardy and Miller solve crimes forever I really love their chemistry and dynamic. We went into it expecting the usual detective fiction but it ended up being a whole study on grief with such a focus on family and community and trauma and a ton of touching interconnected character arcs, just really really good!!

Then we also watched Taking over the Asylum!! MAN we were not expecting to have our hearts wrung out like laundry by this!! We thought it was a lighthearted show!! GOD we are still not over it, what the fuck!! It was so good we loved it!! but we were not prepared lmao what do you mean 'the end'?? we'll be thinking of this for months, I was expecting an extra scene after the credits or something. Excellent characters, refreshing depictions of mental illness and trauma and so crushingly realistic. Every character is so loveable I really wish this was longer 😭

And our quest to watch everything with David Tennant on it continues. We watched Decoy Bride on Valentines day too and it was terrible but such a hilarious fever dream kind of bad that it was fun, it has David on it and he never disappoints. I feel so lucky that Nicolas and I are both in love with him, get yourself a man who shares your celebrity crushes lmao it's so fun!! We feel like teens again chatting about him and drawing little hearts next to his pictures haha 🥰 We watched the BAFTAs just for him and speaking of the baftas!! I was not expecting that last drawing of his outfits to get that much attention oh my god 😭 thank you!! you are all insane and I appreciate it so much!! and thank you for all the support in general, about my art and photos and just everything. I feel very lucky and grateful 😭 anyway I'll end this before I get sappy, that is all for now! I hope this week is kind to you all, I'll be sharing some more art soon 😊

[astrofhobia]

Guys

I really don't know how I feel right now. I don't feel good, I don't feel good at all. I have been forcing myself to overcome situations for which I am really not prepared for a long time, there are so many problems here and I am a stupid child who cannot face the slightest problem.

I guess you can take this as a warning, I don't know. But I doubt I'll be uploading any drawings for a while, I've done them before, guys, this isn't even a goodbye. I'll probably be back in a month with as many new ideas as last time. But now I don't feel the motivation to do anything at all.

I've been turning on my computer for a long time hoping to do something but my brain is completely empty, I have no new ideas and I feel like I'm not being creative enough. The shows aren't helping me either. I haven't watched a full episode of SAMS or LAES in a long time, I really don't find the fun of waiting for a new episode every day, it doesn't feel the same anymore.

I will always be here, I really don't plan to move away from social networks, it is my source of escape. I like being here. I like to admire other people's content but I don't think I'll be able to make content myself for a while.

I feel very bad, very very bad. Mentally I feel terrible. I feel like the person most hated by my family, by my friends. I don't feel well at all, I haven't been able to sleep well for a while and it's not normal for so many negative thoughts to go through my brain at all times.

I really wish I would die at some point. I hope I die at some point and I don't doubt that if I have the slightest opportunity I will try it. Because this is not fun. I don't like absolutely any of this.

I guess that's all. I just wanted to let you know that I won't be posting drawings for a while or until I find some good inspiration or something.

[bluebellofbakerstreet]

A-Z Sherlock Fan Fiction Tropes Bingo

Many thanks to @swissmissing for creating this bingo card! Because I'm like that, I decided to go for a blackout bingo! And because, even as I was typing these, I kept thinking of more wonderful fics that would fit the brief, I hope to fill in my bingo card again. Writers are amazing and deserve to be lauded, and I have left off so many amazing fics and authors. Besides, we all need fic recs. 💙

AU/Amnesia The Murder of Emory J Amat by chriscalledmesweetie. Sherlock and John in 1920's AgathaChristieLand. It's a WIP but is currently updating weekly. (52k, T)

BDSM/Bodyswap - Certain Skills by NoStraightLine. John expressly told Sherlock that if he stole his gun again he’d get the fucking he was asking for. Sherlock “Boundaries Are Boring” Holmes stole John’s gun. (3k, E)

Crossover/Crack - Repo Men by Anyawen. In which Mrs Turner's married ones are James Bond and Q. Q is kidnapped; everybody is a BAMF. (7k, G)

Domestic/Disability A Building of Bridges by pengke. Alternate first meeting. No one would ever send Sherlock in to defuse a stand-off; but on one unlikely day, that’s exactly what happened. “Congratulations, Lestrade,” he called out sarcastically. “You’re traumatizing a war veteran.” (11k, G)

Established Relationship/Enemies to Lovers - Interview by bluebellofbakerstreet. In which the boys are in an 80's punk band, and are being interviewed by Rolling Stone. (2k, G)

Future/Fluff 50. Be You - No one Else Can by KittenKin. John's had a bad day and Sherlock doesn't know how to help. They both feel better at the end, and you will, too. (1k, G)

Gen/Genderswap - The Art of Communication by stillwaters01. Lestrade is receiving odd texts from Sherlock; he reads between the lines and brings help. (2k, T)

Historical/Humor - Acceptable Behavior by bbcatemysoul. Sherlock isn't really sure why John wants to shag him, but he's certain that if he's careful to behave properly about it, John can be persuaded to keep doing it. (3k, M)

Illness/imprisonment -  Radioactive Trees in a Red Forest by Maribor_Petrichor. Harrowing account of John's battle with mental health issues and addiction after - you know - everything. (280k, E)

Jealousy/Jilted - Hungry by LipstickDaddy. John can't figure out why Sherlock is being so nice to that new guy working with the yard. (7k, G)

Kids/Kink - The Alchemy of Sea Glass by reveling_in_mayhem. Salt and air and sand surrounded their little party of three. Crashing waves, gull cries, and the exhilarated exclamations of an excited three-year-old served as the soundtrack to a day filled with blue skies and bright sunshine. (22k, E)

Long/Love Triangle The Edinburgh Problem by snorklepie. “A nice holiday, just a bit more...murdery. ” John said drily. “Yes! The best kind of holiday!” Sherlock beamed. “So we won’t get bored!” (152k, E)

Magical Realism/Major Character Death Left by LifeonMars. John Watson is left-handed. He’s tried not to let it affect his life, but as any Lefty knows, that’s almost impossible. (45k, M)

NSFW/Next Gen. Warzone by abundantlyqueer. Three smutty stories that pick up where the first two episodes left off. (13k, E)

Omegaverse/Only One Bed - Scars Don't Lie by CumberCurlyGirl. The prospect of going undercover as husbands to a couples retreat is just too enticing to refuse. (33k, M)

Parenthood/Platonic The Man With the Cartier Frames by JRow. Sherlock's top priority is The Work, just as it's always been ... in between trips to Putney to help with Rosie, collecting Rosie from school, and preparing for Rosie's sleepover at Baker Street. (32k, T)

Queer/Quest Dance With Me by TotallySilverGirl. Sherlock's queer quest for johnlock requires dancing, and some help from Sally Donovan. (28k, E)

Retirement/Road Trip - The Winter Garden by Callie4180. As Sherlock nears the end of his career, he's given the gift of a cottage in Sussex. The honey from the beehives out back is amazing. Almost...magical. (31k, T)

Soulmates/Slow Burn Soul Mate by Mottlemoth. Mystrade. The words appeared on Mycroft's arm aged fourteen. He's now lived with the unfortunate words all his life, not certain that he even wishes to meet his soul mate if that's how the man talks. (4k, T)

Teen AU/Time Travel - The Curious Adventure of the Drs Watson by ShinySherlock. What if ACD Watson and BBC Watson switched places? (40k, M)

Undercover/Unrequited - Last Call at the Homesick Pub by Chryse. During the hiatus, Sherlock is both undercover and suffering from unrequited love. (3k, T)

Vampires/Villain POV - Nine Tenths of the Law by bendingsignpost. John knows what's his - of course he'll kill for it. (Modern vampire AU) (18k, M)

Whump/Werewolves When Your Belly’s in the Trench by Morgan_Stuart. The next time that door opens, John Watson will kill the person on the other side. (4k, T)

Xenomorphism/Xmas - Ghost Stories by SwissMiss. Sherlock's parents think he and John are a couple. They might be onto something. (22k, M)

Zombies/Zoomorphism - Aim for the Head by Breath4Soul. Sometimes you don't really find yourself until everything has ended.A fic about finding love, healing, and purpose after everything has gone to hell. Still a WIP, but worth it. (44k, M)