#I'm lowkey freaking out

[calmmyfears]

i haven't been on such a high dosage of pain medication in years. and it is so strange how i'm feeling now. i'm numb while also still in so much pain. it is scary how this proofs i'll never be fully pain-free.

[dylawa]

YouTube/Streamer update:

I just finished the stream overlays today and updated my Twitch info and plugins (?). I also signed on for a service that will relay the stream to both Twitch and YouTube at the same time. Normally this kind of extensiveness is delegated to two PCs, but alas, I don't have that setup. I might be able to use a laptop, but I'll look into that if things seem to be lagging/struggling. Really a test stream is sorely needed before I jump headfirst into it all.

Regardless, I think we're really close to officially being able to start this thing.

[kuiilandtorch]

I didn't want to do this, especially on Christmas Day when mostly everyone is with family and/or friends enjoying the holiday or at least hopefully chilling at home, but as I've moved cross-country and am between employment, it's looking like the rental reimbursement check I'm expecting from my former property management won't arrive in time for my next bill this coming Wednesday. I've already postponed payment on a loan last week and things will continue to cascade the longer that check takes to show up. If there's any possibility any of you out there can spare some funds and I can have enough small contributions, maybe I could make the $200 I need to pay and avoid missing another bill. You can find my ko-fi page HERE, my PayPal page HERE, and if you prefer to use Venmo (which also won't take any fees from me), you can DM me for my handle. I know this is a long shot, but I'm even though I'm blessed to be spending my holidays with friends kind enough to take care of me and give me a place to stay in my new location, I'm still stressing out over money. I should be getting my reimbursement eventually, but it's a matter of timing. Thank you for your consideration and have a Merry Christmas or a happy holiday or at least some restful time off, wherever y'all are.

[justarandomlambblog]

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 [END]

The love story of a mortal and an immortal is always doomed to end in tragedy, but even just a little more time would have meant everything...

And that's Narinder's prologue for this au sketched out. Also yes that's a cat he's just got small rounded ears instead of long sharp ears <3

Explanation of the story under the cut (this time with some dialogue!)

During a festival, someone runs up to Narinder saying a stranger has come to the village, and he's wounded. Narinder recognizes the cloak he wears as being that of a Darkwood cultist, so Narinder takes the injured cat to his home to take care of him, and also to confront him without anyone else there. Narinder finds that he's brought a book of the Old Faith with him.

The stranger wakes up and notices Narinder immediately. Narinder confronts him about the book he's brought with him, and the fact that he's a follower of the Old Faith. The cat explains that he actually ran away, seeing no point in killing and fighting and living and dying for a god who is already dead (awkward considering Leshy is very much alive again and loyal to the Lamb by this time, but neither of them know this), but that his old family outed him as a dissenter and he was chased/attacked on his way out. Narinder accepts this explanation but gives a stern warning to the newcomer;

"These are godless lands and we bow to no one. There will be no talk of the Old or New Faiths, no talks of gods, no preaching. And this book stays in this room so long as you're in this village, got it?"

Narinder drops the book into the side table, then tells the newcomer that he's welcome to stay as long as he wants/needs so long as he doesn't bring talk of gods into the village itself. The newcomer accepts this easily enough- he ran away from the Old Faith, after all, he only brought the book by happenstance.

Narinder gives the stranger clothes and shows him around the village, introducing him to people (and translating for both sides, as the newcomer does not speak the godless language and the godless don't speak the language of the Faithful). Time passes, and the newcomer stays even when he's healed, slotting himself into the daily routine of the village. Narinder begins slowly teaching him about their culture, once it becomes clear that he doesn't intend to leave; he shows him how to take care of the feral beasts, teaches him how to make paper lanterns for their lantern festival, teaches him their dances, and eventually even gives him an ear piercing, the same as anyone who comes of age inside or is accepted into the village from outside gets. It's essentially the moment that he becomes an accepted part of the village, an acknowledgement that he is one of them now; no longer an outsider, no longer a cultist but one of the godless.

One day, Narinder's friend (as by this time he cannot really be called a newcomer and ofc I don't have a name for him...) confesses to Narinder, and Narinder realizes all at once that if he wants to pursue this... thing he and his friend have going on, he needs to tell him the truth.

So Narinder does it in the most dramatic sad wet cat way he can; he brings out the book that's sat gathering dust inside the drawer for well over a year now and finds the entry on the Red Crown and the One Who Waits. The "Friend" is confused at first before looking at Narinder and realizing that Narinder is the One Who Waits- a fallen god of the Old Faith, and arguably the most powerful of all of the Old gods.

And... he doesn't care. Narinder is Narinder, not the Bishop of Death after all. He just tosses the book- something once sacred in the cult he was born into- aside and expresses that he doesn't care; it doesn't matter who Narinder used to be, or the crimes he committed in the past, because he loves the person Narinder is now. Narinder accepts his confession with this acceptance.

Time passes. They marry, with Narinder presenting a marriage charm to him, much to his delight. They start a family- first child they name Ari, the second Elloi, and the third Minuit, all a few years apart in age.

And for just a little bit- everything is perfect. Even though Narinder's immortality hangs over him like a shroud, he takes every day a moment at a time, and he's happier than he's been in a long, long time.

Then one night they're woken by the sound of crashing and screams. They're a little freaked out, because it's been so long for both of them but they recognize that sound- they've just both been on the other side of it. Opening the curtains confirms Narinder's fears; there's a raid happening on their village, the same way gods and their cults once crusaded against each other and razed entire settlements in a bid for power. Buildings are burning, people are running and screaming and crying, some people are dead, and robe-clad people very reminiscent of cultists and heretics bear weapons and chase people down, uncaring of whether they're old, young or children.

Narinder scoops up the baby- only a few months old and crying in fear- while his husband rushes to grab their older kits, only to find their beds empty. Panic sets in, and rather than running into the forest (to hide and hopefully avoid the attackers) like they initially planned, they rush into the village to look for their daughters. Narinder comes face to face with a cultist, and has a moment where he remembers Shamura teaching him offensive magic- before they even had the crowns, back when it was just them and the magic they were born with. Chains, which he hasn't seen or felt in nearly a hundred years at this point, shoot up at his command, spearing through and instantly killing his would-be attacker.

His husband, somewhere along the way, loses the dagger he'd always carried while fighting cultists. He spots their daughters on the ground, holding onto each other and crying in fear while a cultist raises a sword. Instinct kicks in and he rushes to them, throwing himself between his kits and their attacker- too afraid that attacking them would still end up with his kits hit by the sword.

Narinder hears his kits scream and turns in time to see his husband collapse, mortally wounded (he did take a sword for someone who was in front of him, that shit went DEEP), and in a moment of horror reaches out with his magic, spearing their attacker with the chain before they can turn their attention to the kits again. He runs over, dropping down by his husband's side, and pulls him into his lap. His husband manages to smile at him, saying some final words before dying in his family's arms.

Grief hits Narinder hard, and his magic lashes out; withering lines of decay snake through the village, the grass crumbling and the earth itself cracking in the wake of his magic. It targets the cultists while avoiding the villagers, and the cultists begin rotting and turning to dust right on the spot, whether they are bodies on the ground or living beings in the middle of swinging an axe. All at once the tables are turned, their attackers reduced to ash and blood on the ground and in the wind, and careful to avoid the lines, slowly the bravest of the villagers follow the decaying earth to its epicenter; Narinder and his once-again-broken family.

None of the villagers fear Narinder, even like this. All they feel is grief; grief for what has happened to their village, grief for their neighbors and loved ones, grief for the families that have been lost, grief for what the future holds for them. They share in his grief, but they realize something in that moment; Narinder can actually do something with his grief.

A few days pass and the dead have been buried. Narinder and his older kits pay respects to his husband's grave, and some villagers approach to give their condolences and also ask; "What now?"

He looks back, listening to their worries. With his third eye open and with him reaching out to them with his own magic, he notices for the first time that some of them have a certain... energy about them. Some have more than others; some's energy is lashing out, while others' are gentle, and some are... reaching back to him. He realizes that this energy is magic- the same thing Shamura saw in him and the others, thousands of years ago, when they decided to train them.

He remembers Shamura telling him something now, when he asked why they taught him and the others to fight and use magic when they clearly wanted to keep them all safe; "Sometimes the best way to protect those you love is teach them to protect themselves."

He takes this lesson to heart now; the village must learn to fight, so that they will never be made victims again.

"We rebuild. We learn to wield swords." He summons a flame into his hand, holding it out for the villagers who have turned to him in this time of hardship to see. "And those of you who are capable of magic- I will teach it to you.

"What has happened here will not happen again."

[thewaywardcasgirl]

umm i screamed into the void and the void answered?!!???

ok wtf us happening rn? i click on an image and it takes me to the tumblr tv thingy i don't want that!! i want to see the image I'm clicking on in a better quality @staff ? is this your new way of torturing us???

[heartevent]

Ok picture you're me, recent OCD diagnosis, you love to smoke weed. So it's late at night, you're sitting on your little patio with your cat watching tiktoks, and you got one about the rumors of a night club serial killer in NYC. You're a bit anxious because you know some people who like to party in the city, but its nothing crazy and you're still enjoying your weed, until you get the worst fucking feeling you could possibly imagine. Like disgustingly terrible. All you could feel was "there is a serial killer here right now." You chalk it up to your weed and OCD flippin shit, but it's still weighing on you and getting worse. Then, you hear your neighbor call in their pet and you knew it was right then that you had to get you and your cat inside the house. You were fucking terrified. You get inside and lock the doors, and then chill out for the night. You forget about that moment.

Next day comes, and you're sitting outside with your mom talking about how your sister's bus schedule was weird, and the busses were running super late, and your mom reads you an email she just received, saying how the busses were late due to police activity in the area. You remember what came across your for you page and tell her about the serial killer rumor you read about last night, and she looks at you like you have two heads for mentioning that out of nowhere. You say that what she said about the police activity made you think of that, and she goes "Lets go on facebook to see what they're saying, oh look, people are asking about it! It's happening right down the street." She opens the comments. She paused. She looks at you with fear on her face. She informs you that less than a mile from your home, someone was murdered, dismembered, and stuffed into a suitcase. The body was discovered at about noon today. Article says someone near where the body was found heard a woman scream at 3:00am Sunday night. The body was likely placed at its spot when you were outside smoking the night before. There actually was a killer nearby. What would you do

[solradguy]

Learning how to death metal growl to sing along to Insomnium and Amon Amarth tracks made it easier to talk in a deep voice but the downside is that it made it easier to just accidentally growl

[imjustavenuxwithaboomerang]

istg istg istg

if OH MY GOD if there's less zeddison moments in z4 because meg's dating drake right now ISTG I'M GOING TO SOB

[gonzodangerfeels]

Me: no really if you missed even one birth control pill you better double check you aren't pregnant.

[infernal-feminae]

Okay, the announcement was posted, the theater had been reserved for March 9th, now she just needs to get a costume and more importantly, figure out a routine to do.

[kjzx]

Marina portrait overline/hc :3

Tbh one of the first things I noticed about the image is that she has a little bit of tummy, which most artists seem to not draw (understandable I've been kinda neglecting it too in my fanart that I don't typically post online)

[ghostlakan]

every hyperfixation eventually turns into desperately needing to put the blorbos into the sims 4 i don't make the rules

[born-to-lose]

I love being the always single person in my family, mad respect to my sister for constantly dating guys for the last 8 years, I would have shot myself

[navree]

Speaking of targ/dany fans being crazy their currentely harassing a chinese author (xiran jay zhao) who met grrm for committing the heinous crime of loving dany but being anti monarchy??

Oh I have seen that, I love Xiran as an author and when they were still uploading videos on YouTube I always had a blast (I still rewatch the historical ones, it's a great easy access gateway for anyone who wants to start learning about Chinese historical figures, highly recommend). It's especially weird because even beyond the fact that Xiran never said anything particularly outrageous, it's like they said in one of their Tweets about it: they're the one who was talking to GRRM about these characters and their preference for the story, not randos on Twitter. And again: all Xiran said was that they liked Dany but didn't want her on the throne! That's a fair thing to say! I like Dany but I don't necessarily want her on the throne, because I find Robert's Rebellion and the overthrow of the Targaryens entirely just and righteous and would be disappointed if it got overturned. It'd be one thing to say that Xiran's statement was a bit of a copout given that, at least so far, it doesn't look as if GRRM is gearing up towards dismantling monarchy as a whole by the end of the series (to me, I'm not an ASOIAF theorist so maybe I'm just missing stuff), or that maybe Xiran might wanna rethink reading fantasy since it tends to include monarchies a lot (where's that post about fictional monarchies being interesting because of the impact fucked up families have on fictional geopolitics even tho real monarchies are boring and stupid), which would still be kinda dumb and condescending responses, but this is just ridiculous. Anyone's allowed to have any opinion they want about fictional characters and their rights to fictional chairs, it's insane to get pissy that someone doesn't like your fave just because they happen to be your fave.

It's annoying because again, I like Dany, I like a lot of Targs, I'm not joking when I say shit like "i should be allowed to make the conquest show" I say that because I legit really love these characters and wish I were in the position to be able to craft story around them as well given my fascination for the world around them as well as their own dynamics. But the broader Dany/Targaryen fandom is just so fucking ludicrous. Part of it is part of a larger trend I've noted previously in response to some anons, that fandom has really honed in on this idea that it's not enough to just like something, you need to be in the moral right for liking it, and thus people who don't like it need to be in the moral wrong for being opposed to you and the thing you like. It's fandom as morality and ethics that's really corrupted nearly all fandom spaces as a whole, like that criticism you get about how if you like X fictional character than you must also support the bad actions X fictional characters in your real life. And being in the ASOIAF fandom you really see a lot of that, especially with HOTD providing the first new material the fandom has gotten in a long time, and it's turned a lot of y'all into crazy people.

[bigmeansweatydyke]

the long-ago aforementioned cool bi girl turned wannabe cathtradwife friend is currently getting flamed on facebook by friend and acquaintances. karma's a bitch ya shoulda known betta

[chicmntndie]

Got curious how stylized I drew Idia and Ortho so I sketched them against a reference and then how I sketch them

...I think it's safe to say the answer is very stylized