#I'm like 'holy shit is this what normal people feel like every day??'

[motherhenna]

Wanted to show off my newly cleaned and organized room because ya girl has ADHD and clinical depression so this shit is a big deal for me lol. I'm guessing this is mostly due to the fact that I accidentally took two doses of my adderall the other day, and turns out 40 mgs is probably what I should have been on all along because wow I’m actually getting shit done now??

Anyway tho, I've found that one of my biggest issues when it comes to keeping things organized is "out of sight, out of mind"--ie, if something isn't visible to me, I often forget it exists. (Yes, I have a Masters Degree but have yet to fully comprehend the concept of object permanence, apparently.) So I've finally decided to do something about this! I'm in the process of labeling all of my drawers, cabinets, and storage containers so I can keep track of my shit. So far the labelled dresser drawers have worked wonders in stopping me from just throwing my clothes on the ground or stuffing them wherever. We'll see if this is sustainable in the long run

[inkskinned]

crying because i call myself my dog's mom but i'm probably more like a sister to him and the way i love people is always spilling out over my hands in milk so yes i got told a lot you try too hard as a kid and i didn't know what that meant i just try to shove everything i care about under my wing and hold it there so every feather acts as an umbrella and if you're normal that's okay they'll say you're kind but if you're not normal it is a problem and someone who says they're an empath watched me fall down on the train and refused to give me the hand up

and yeah maybe i'm kind of bitter because every time i try to open up i only get to the bones of the thing before someone else takes up the whole room with meat and gristle and sparknotes of their own life painted in a pelt across my palms and just as i'm tryna clean up one mess another seems to pop up and it's really difficult to explain to your therapist that the problem is that you are too aware of the problem and that you keep fucking up and it's really difficult to explain to your partner i have no faith in the concept of love and life is a lot of sliding down these days, turn my body ice and moth, and that's okay! i am broken upside down like an egg and i am going to love you like an explosion and a star and a fucking galaxy! i'm gonna be too much

because god forbid you feel like me! god forbid you know what it's like! holy shit, god forbid. i'm gonna love you because i didn't get love. i'm gonna love you because otherwise the world is too cruel. i only live in the dark. maybe i'm a martyr. i think it's more like - i need to be right about this, about hope and trying and community. i'm going to be right about this, even if i need to set myself on fire to procure the warmth. come take it then, come latch on. i need you to be okay so someone is okay. so there's a reason i was born. i need it to work. i need to be shelter. a lighthouse. endlessly giving more.

i need to be. holy shit, god forbid. i can't live in a world that's only storm.

[bigwishes]

Hey dude ! So i've been having this problem recently while playing CoD online recently. This guy in my group keeps belching into his mic constantly and it's really distracting. I don't even know what's gotten to him, he used to talk normally but now he sounds like a total jock bro. And it's starting to affect our team's performances.

The worst part is that i'm starting to feel like i can .... smell his bo ... like, through my mic. I just wish i wasn't bothered by his belches and his stink, you know ?

Sorry to hear that bro, It can suck when people can be annoying when trying to relax gaming online, but I'll be nice and give you exactly what you want, you won't be bothered by his stink and belching anymore... You finish up a match with your least favourite person to run into online, you say "GG" into the mic and pull up the menu to quit before the ending screen has even finished. You already know what's coming seeing the gamer tags in your lobby, as you scroll down to 'quit game' a loud sound breaks out over lobby call, "BUUUUUURRRRRRRRPP- ugh, gg bro"

You grimace at the noise and press exit before he can fire off again, this dude had been bugging you for days, leaving his mic open you could hear every time he took a sip of his shake or a bite of his food between respawns, but the worst was his constant belching in between call outs or even small talk, but burping wasn't really a reportable offence and he when he actually gave call outs it was good information so you just had to put up with it instead of muting him, still you hoped every game you loaded into you'd be hoping you wouldn't see his gamer tag on your team.

You pressed play again and sat there staring at the que timer waiting. Whilst you sat there you felt a little uncomfortable the room suddenly felt hotter and you began to sweat from under your jumper. A few minutes went by before you decided it was unbearable and you took off your jumper and smelt the strong whiff of musk and saw a small sweat mark start to appear on your t-shirt under your armpit. You hadn't realised you'd been so sweaty and you got up to go change your shirt when you suddenly got into a game, there was not time to change now and you'd have to wait till after the match.

Loading in you let out a sigh of relief seeing the infamous belcher wasn't on your team and so you gladly jumped in call to talk to your team. The game was rough, not for how hard it was to beat the enemy team but you felt strange and uncomfortable the whole time. Your shirt was feeling tighter than usual and you could feel the fabric cling to the sweat on your back. You felt the heat building up in your sweat pants as the fluffy wool chaffed against you thighs which felt like they were now stretching out your pants. At one point you even ripped off your socks hoping that'd start to cool you down, which it didn't. The match ended and you left the game. Taking the back on your hand and wiping it across your forehead you felt the sweat brush off, letting out a deep breath placing your controller on the coffee table in front of you, you saw the sweaty handprints left behind which you only ever saw one the hottest days of summer.

Letting out a deep sigh you stood up and tried to take your shirt off feeling it stick to your skin and the potent smell of musk flowing out from your pits as your arms were above your head. You dropped your shirt on the floor and looked down seeing your chest had pushed out into strong defined pecs and somehow you got abs within the last 20 minutes.

"Ho-holy shit" you laughed as you rubbed your new wash board abs

You scrambled to pull down your grey sweat pants and you weren't disappointed, strong muscled thighs you fell back down to your seat letting out a chuckle as you started feeling up your massive thighs. Thousands of thoughts were flowing through your head, what was happening? HOW did this happen? thinking back on your day trying to remember anything that would have you suddenly turn into a hot fitness model,

but one thought was stronger than the others, you didn't even have to lift up you arm to smell the stench coming from your pits, you smelt like you haven't showered in 2 days and had run a marathon. You leant forward to cancel the que when suddenly the words GAME FOUND appeared at the top of the screen. You thought it'd probably be best to dodge the game and take a shower.....but then again it was your day off and nobody could smell you so it could probably wait until after the game.

You played another round, trying not to focus on the smell of bo in the air around you and eventually you forgot about it all together, you were so focused on the game you didn't even notice yourself constantly shifting in your seat as you tried to make yourself comfortable, reaching back and pulling at your underwear waist band every couple of minutes, not even noticing it was drenched in sweat.

The game ended and you stood up, feeling as your sweaty ass peeled itself off the couch like some kind of wet Velcro, you felt heavy, like your body had put on more size and your stomach grumbled as you felt like you could eat a whole pizza to yourself.

DING DONG

You walked over to your door and opened it to see a pizza delivery guy standing there, you couldn't remember ordering one?

"whoa" the delivery man said as he turned his head to the side holding his nose "here you go dude"

The pizza box was shoved into your hands,

"errr, lemme grab my wallet I guess" you calmly said, forgetting you were standing there in your underwear

"Don't worry about it dude, its all pre paid" the delivery man practically shouted it at you as he backed away

You wondered what his problem was but thought it best not to look a gift horse in the mouth. You shut the door and made your way back to your seat, opening up the box and grabbing a slice and stuffing it in your mouth. Sitting back down you felt the cold as the wet patch on your seat collide with you, you felt it squelch down as the stuffing in the seat was so drenched with sweat.

Game found appeared on the top of the screen and you looked at the pizza slice in your hand. You shoved the whole slice in your mouth and desperately looked around for something to wipe the grease off on, the only thing you could think of was your underwear which barely worked but you thought it did so you picked up your controller covering it with a layer of sweat and grease.

"hey, who's chewing?" someone said over mic

You didn't even realise you had joined the chat, loudly chewing on your food into the open mic.

You played through the game almost an autopilot, just enjoying the sounds of shooting guns, although you'd wish people would stop bitching about whoever was chewing on open mic, they should just mute whoever it is and move on...

Afterwards you walked over to your bench, you felt so stuffed after eating a whole family size pizza in 10 minutes but at the same time you could go for a drink, as you stood up you felt so heavy and puffy, like you were swollen. You walked over to your kitchen ignoring the sound of your large sweating feet slapping against your floor. You turned on your tap and turned your head sideways gulping down mouthfuls of water. The water spilled out and ran down the side of your mouth as you gulped and swallowed, gasping for air in-between mouthfuls, as you stood up right again mid mouthful having had your fill and the water spilled out of your slack jaw and ran down your chest. You gut groaned and you leant forward on your counter top rubbing your abs,

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPP

You gasped for air after letting out the loudest belch of your life, the water on your lips and chin still dripping off your face forming little droplets on your counter top,

uuUURP

you let out another smaller belch as you reached around to scratch your sweaty ass. You began making your way back over to your game wanting to play another round, each step was strange, like you were getting heavier and heavier, heaving your floor creak. Your chest and jaw were itchy and as you scratched you felt stubble poking out of your skin and felt as sweat and grease got trapped under your nails.

Reaching your chair you grabbed onto the back of it, needing to catch your breath almost exhausted from the 20 steps you had taken. You spun your gaming chair around and threw your entire weight into it, a large strenuous noise rang out from every joint, screw and bolt, like the chair almost crumbled under you. Jiggling in your place you felt sweat be pushed out of the seat like squeezing a wet sponge as your ass made its way into the massive groove you had created.

Picking up your controller you felt the greasy surface connect with your hand. Your chest began to itch again and you took the edge of the controller and rubbed it against you chest hair.

You hadn't noticed but as you walked over to your seat you had gotten bigger, and hairier, the stench coming off your skin was now not just drifting through the air but it was clinging to you, getting stuck in your new hairy body quickly making you smell worse.

game found appeared on the screen and you quickly lost interest in how hair you had become.

"hey what's going on team" a dude called out

you opened your mouth to respond but instead

BUUURRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

You let out a loud monstrous belch, you felt it vibrate in your chest and thighs, you felt it as your shoulder blades creeped up above the top of your gaming chair and as your thighs were pushed together as they got thicker but had nowhere to go but inwards forcing you to close your man spread. The chair under you groaned and you couldn't help but groan along with it as you felt so heavy and big, like you were being weighed down by a car.

"bro could you not burp in mic?" someone complained

"sorre-UUUUUUUUUUUURRRPPPPPP" You just couldn't help it, you couldn't even get through your words without letting yourself burp like a pig.

two of your team mates instantly left the voice call and the two that remained began to complain about how rude it was to do that over open mic. You weren't really paying attention to them though as you laughed thinking to yourself they were probably two dudes who were a quarter of your size.

Days went by and you didn't notice how bad thing were, you floor covered in pizza boxes, a large mark on your coffee table had formed like someone had forgotten to put something under a drink but it was from you putting up your large feet. Energy cans were on the ground around your chair from just being tossed down to the floor when you were done. Your controller itself started to come undone at the joins from being gripped by your enormous ape like hands,

but you didn't notice any of it because you didn't give a fuck, the only things you cared about now was being big, playing CoD.

You'd become a mindless muscle slob who was, belching and sweating like a pig.

I'm sure you won't care next time a guy burps on mic, in fact it might even be a turn on for you now. Better focus up muscle pig you just got another game.

[annafoxxx7]

Oops...

[Josh Futturman x Female Reader]

POV: You and Josh are bffs, but a seemingly normal visit to his house takes an unexpected turn...

Warnings: Masturbation, pnv, mommy kink (????), idk just like pure smut (plus Josh being a needy, whimpering bottom 😜) ((sorry guys I had writers block so this is like the worst thing I’ve ever written))

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Josh have been friends for years. Your houses are next door to each other so you hang out every day. One of you will walk over to the others house after school and spend the rest of the evening there. Even on weekends you'd hang out all day. So your decision to walk over this one Saturday wasn't out of the ordinary.

You show up to his house and let yourself in with the copy of his key that he gave you. You call out his name, only he doesn't respond. He was supposed to be home alone all day. Suddenly, you hear a strange noise coming from his room.

He must be playing a video game or something. You whisper to yourself, walking towards his bedroom

As you lean into his room you see that his eyes are closed. His hand is moving fast, his pants are at his ankles.

“Fuck... y/n-” He moaned.

You froze. Was he thinking about... you????

Holy fuck. Shit... SHIT!

You start to back out of the doorway and try not to make any noise, but end up bumping into the door. He looks up at you in shock.

“Y/n… Jesus… I thought you had plans today what are you doing here… God damn… Did you have to barge in here like this?” Josh grumbles, covering himself.

"Well... I had my key copy and I just thought I'd come say hi. I'm so sorry I-"

"Let me know next time don't just-"

Just say it just say it just say it

"Do you want me to help you? You know... finish?"

Josh’s jaw dropped. “You… Are you for real?”

You had been friends for so long, but there had always been something there. Some kind of unspoken tension pulling you together.

"Yeah... if you want"

He swallowed his pride. “I mean… yeah- yes, please.”

You walk over to him pulling off your jeans and leaving them on the floor, your shirt is next. You straddle him on his chair and he quickly removes your bra, massaging your bare breasts. He kisses your chest and neck. He keeps looking up into your eyes, like he's pleading without saying a word.

The only thing separating your heat from him is the thin layer of your underwear. You grind on his lap, making him moan.

"Please... fuck. Just let me... inside," he whimpers.

"Ok, ok."

You take off your underwear throwing them on the floor and slowly lower yourself down onto his throbbing cock. You both moan as he sinks into you. He begins to thrust into you helplessly, hitting your g-spot with ease. Your clit rubbing against his pelvis as you ride him. It doesn't take long before he's a whimpering mess underneath you.

"Fuck... mommy. Please-"

Woah. You had been called mommy before a few times but this was different. Hearing him say it so helplessly felt different. It felt great. HE felt great. Who would have thought Josh of all people would make you feel so good?

"You're doing so good, baby, keep going. Almost there."

He pushes into you with ease, your bodies fitting together like a puzzle. His big dick pushing up into your cervix as he grabs your waist to keep you steady.

He whimpers and moans, so close to finishing. All it takes a few more sloppy thrusts to put you both over the edge. You clench around him and he twitches inside of you. His cum spilling out of you as you ride out your climaxes.

Breathlessly, Josh says, "Shit... well that was unexpected. I guess now we have to have a whole 'what are we' talk and try not to ruin our friendship and stuff so you know, thanks for that."

You smirk at him. "Oops"

[systemadministratorclu]

Y'all, I just HAD to share this, because holy shit.

A little background first:

I run the drive-thru cash register window at a fast food joint. One of the shittiest jobs there is because some of the rudest/stupidest people on the planet come through the drive-thru, and one must have near superhuman patience to deal with it. That said, there are customers who come regularly and are not hard to deal with at all. And then there are some-very few and far between-that restore your faith in humanity a little every time they come.

This is about one such customer.

This guy comes every day at about the same time with his grandson (6 years old when this started, recently turned 7) and gets the exact same thing every time. To the point where now either I see their car or I hear the guy say his name (whichever happens first) and I'm already ringing them up. Because of this, the kid now thinks I have weirdly specific psychic powers, and has said he prefers coming to the place when I'm there. He's also decided I'm the best employee this place has. The granddad talks to me like I'm a human, they're always smiling and happy to see me (which means a lot in this line of work, let me tell you) and even on my shittiest days, they've managed to make me smile. I genuinely look forward to seeing these people every day.

Recently, grandson was hella excited to tell me he had a birthday coming up. Reminded me every day "my birthday's coming!" as most 6yo kids do.

Maybe I was feeling a little holiday spirit or something, but one day after work, I went to the Dollar Tree near the restaurant. I picked out a kid's birthday card and a Christmas card. I wrote a message in the Christmas one about what I just explained above, thanking them for bringing some joy to my days, because y'know what? People need to hear that shit. Especially in today's world. And I wanted them to know how much this meant to me. I wrote a little joke in the birthday card about not forgetting the day. Then I looked in my wallet, saw I had a $10 and a $1, and stuck the $10 in the birthday card. Addressed the birthday card to the kid and the Christmas one to kid and grandpa. I give the cards to them on their normal drive-thru visit. They are of course surprised (kid starts yelling "thank you" even though he hasn't gotten to open it yet) but thankful. Then the line moves on.

Fast forward to today.

I see the car come in but I don't start ringing the order up, because it's WAY early for them. I give my usual greeting, then I hear a woman's voice, so I think it's someone in the same kind of car. But when she asks "is this Hal?" I then realize it's the kid's mother, whom he has told all about me and who has come through with him before.

I say yes, and she tells me she's not here to order anything, just to see me, since kid and granddad are sick. I tell her to come on to the window, she does, and hands me a card and a nicely wrapped gift. I asked her to tell them hi for me, she said she would and then the line moved.

I got off on lunch break and opened card and gift.

I was not prepared. At all.

This is the gift...

...the card (no writing on the front).....

.....and the typed note inside the card that actually brought tears to my eyes.

......I'm still not over this. I will be thinking about how this went on for OVER HALF A FUCKING YEAR and I had no idea.

This is the kind of stuff that makes this shitty job worth it. People like this....We need more of in this world. I'm going to hold onto that note so when I feel like shit or I don't matter, I can look at it and know there's a kid out there who I am so important to that he got his dad to write a whole-ass letter, to some random stranger he only knows through his son, inviting me to their fucking house. I'm tearing up again as I write this, just thinking about it.

If that doesn't say "you matter", idk what does.

(And yes, I will go at some point, because how can I not? I'm not gonna dash this kid's hopes and make myself look like an enormous asshole. This is the RL version of being handed a toy phone and told it's ringing)

[ajearthlinggg]

exposing you based on your fav will wood/wwatt song (my longest post)

A lot of these have nothing to do with the song. They're basically headcannons lmao. My Blake Jennings is showing

No instrumental chnt except Rhumba sorry

i started this in June enjoy

EIAL

6up 5oh copout: its low hanging fruit to say you hate cops, and I'm taking it. You hate cops.

Skeleton Appreciation whatever the fuck: Covid RUINED you

Front Street: you like Heathers

Aikido!: how's that obsessiveness and inability to let go going?

White Knuckle Jerk: you also like nu metal for the same reason. (Its incredibly horny)

Cover This Song: same as Aikido but only with your exes omg do not text them they are assholes

Thermodynamic Lawyer: PLEASE take time to calm down when you get overstimulated I promise if you don't do anything abt it you will have such a terrible mental breakdown

Red Moon: YOU LISTEN TO MALE MANIPULATOR MUSIC STOP TRYING TO HIDE IT YOU CANT BE IN THE RADIOHEAD CLOSET FOREVER

Lysergide daydream: I honestly do not like this song at all so you get a pass (don't kill me)

The First Step: you're usually quiet but you know how to SCREAM.

Jimmy Mushroom: you're usually quiet but- I'm just kidding. You're always quiet

Chemical Overreaction: you're usually quiet but if- I'm just kidding. You are never quiet

Everything is a lot/dte: insomnia. I dont know why,but insomnia

Self-ish

self/ish: closet theatre kid

2012: fast talker to a not comprehendible level

Cotard Solution: turn off the v-sauce it is 2 am

Mr. Capgras: turn off the 🌽 it is 2 am

The Song With Five Names: you have incredible taste. You can't describe that taste, but hey, its incredible

Hand me my shovel: you were the only talented kid in your elementary music class

Dr. Sunshine is Dead: you love the smell of cigarettes

TNA

Suburbia overture: BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD

222: your English teacher loves you (you're so goddamn gay)

Laplace's Angel: your English teacher hates you. How do I know? Because you can't pronounce anything (its la-plass-es not la-place-is)

i/me/myself: you have to beat off the fake fan allegations with a stick everyday

Wbtta: hey queen. How are those hyperfixations going

Outliars and hyppocrates: you spell the title wrong every. damn. time.

bbw: same as 2012 but holy shit triple it.

Marsha, thankk you: dyslexia and ADHD

Love, me normally: I get it. I'm not even gonna expose you. You already have it bad enough

Momento Mori: you are just SO quirky! (knives whisper things to you when you hold them)

Icimi

Tomcat Disposables: you'd shove photos of your pets in your friends faces even if they were dangling off a bridge

Becoming the last names: you either have wonderful parents in a happy relationship or your parents have been divorced for years and you will never relate to this song

Cicada Days: stop using self deprecating humor around the wrong people PLEASE

Euthanasia: this song is a masterpiece I have nothing to say about you.

Falling Up: WONDERFUL TASTE. AMAZING CHOICE. NO RECOLLECTION OF YOUR CHILDHOOD.

That's enough: you love Alex g you just don't know it yet

Um its kind of a lot: you either already love Scott pilgrim or it will happen. Its a canon event

Half decade hangover: omg twinn!! I have an addictive personality, too!

(I feel like this is a good time to say don't take these too seriously)

You liked this: ...what?

The main character: you can't relate to the song, you hate yourself

Sdrr: IF I SEE ONE MORE PERSON TAKING THIS SONG SUPER SERIOUSLY IM GONNA LOSE MY SHIT YDHZJABXV

Bfb: ur just a silly lil guy

Willard!: you're a therian. There is no human explanation to this.

white noise: you love pink floyd you just don't know it yet

Atkf: HOW TF DID I FORGET THIS ONE anyways you get bad habits (nail biting, staying up too late. Etc)

CHNT

Yes to err: you are still waiting for chnt season 2 BC you want to see what happens with Adam

Your body, my temple: I have a strong feeling you have a tummy ache right now

Venetian Blind Man: you love nobody sexually you just don't know it yet (this is a very ace choice idk why)

Rhumba of Death: you LOVE Halloween

When Somebody Needs You: Tyler the Creator is probably your favorite rapper

Live

Trww

Self/ish: You can't sleep if your room has the SLIGHTEST amount of light in it

10-4 6-up: unlike the original, you don't just hate cops, you hate anybody who can tell you what to do (your teachers are probably just trying to do their job. please)

Cotards Solution: you can't sleep without background noise

Dr Sunshine Lives!: You never get sick physically (mentally on the other hand...)

Where do you get off: omg the horniest of the horny. Gerard Way on stage levels of horny. Nine Inch Nails levels of horny. (Or you really like Umbrella Academy idk why)

Aikido: you can't relate to it. You hate everybody

Take a break grab some water this is getting long

Thermodynamic Lawyer: you have gotten kicked out of restaurants because of how loud you are

Front Street: WE GET IT. IT'S BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL.

Wasting away again: I am so sorry holy shit

Hand me my (x), I'm (y): you suck at algebra

The First Step: you wish you could do the AUGHHHHHHHH

2012: severe social anxiety

Mr capgras: literally the opposite of 2012 (live)

Chemical Overreaction: you know so many random fun facts

Fibrodysplasia: I'm not even gonna talk about your mental issues because I will be banned from this app (which is pretty much impossible)

Icid

Cicada Days: you also get a pass fuck I'm so sorry

The main character okay you ACTUALLY can relate to it

Icimi: OMG I LOVE YOU

atkf: you cry every day even if you aren't sad

Becoming the last names: please don't become a Disney adult

Vampire ref: LISTEN TO MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN PUTTING IT OFF AND IK YOU LOVE HOT VAMPIRE MUSIC

Half decade hangover: oh my god talk to somebody it'll be okay I'm so sorry

Tsw5n: you love the way he says "what the fuck"

Euthanasia: once again, ANOTHER PASS. IM SO SORRY I HOPE YOU'RE OKAY

Jimmy Mushrooms: You. Me. Marriage. Now.

Laplaces Angel: you listen to LitWTC

i/me/myself: you were trying to separate yourself from the normal i/me/myself fans

The first step: idk why but you REALLY like lemonade

skeleton appreciation day: you can NOT play any instrument

tomcat disposables: you love concept albums

White noise: unlike cotards, you need to sleep in SILENCE

Love me normally: arctic monkeys. that's all I have to say. idk what about them but, yeah

misanthrapologist: GAY QUEER LGBT HOMOSEXUAL FRUITY ZESTY ROMANTICALLY ATTRACTED TO PEOPLE OF THE SAME GENDER

Falling up: wonderful taste once again please don't become a Disney adult

thats enough let's get you home: you say "YIPPIE!!" a lot

And if I did: god made you shy because he knew if you weren't you would be unstoppable

[kingdoms-and-empires]

After Dark Review (Zombies!)

I recently had to go travel and read a few works that I never got around to reading but was interested in.

PLEASE REMEMBER THIS REVIEW IS DONE BY ME AS A READER AND IS MY OWN OPINION.

This means I will review in accordance to my own tastes, how the game caters to me, and what I feel. Do not take my word as gospel, what I may not be interested in or dislike, may be what YOU are interested and love!!!

@dalekowrites

Synopsis:

A few years from now, in Little Peak, Michigan, a teenager is ready to go to sleep.

While the heavy industry is more active than ever, the effects of global warming are evident, with higher temperatures, dying bees, and animals acting weird.

It has simply been another normal Wednesday, but little do people know that it’s the last day of normality Mother Nature has granted them.

After Dark is a scientifically accurate apocalyptic horror. You’re tired of zombies rising from the ground for no reason? You don’t believe in ghosts? Glittering vampires aren’t for you? Then you have to try one of the three different stories that unfold in After Dark.

When a global pandemic starts to transform people into dangerous monsters, which path will you choose? Will you fight for humanity? Will you stay for your family? Or will you run away in search of a better future?

Review:

The Good: Why does every IF Zombie game have the authors kill themselves in the coding department? This is in the good section, so it isnt a bad thing, though sometimes I worry for the sanity of the author lol. Anyways, After Dark is ambitious! Here are some of the things the author implemented:

Three different routes with three completely different stories. (1 is being worked on right now, the other two have not yet been implemented yet as far as I know)

A phone with a social network, gallery for the ROs, a newsletter, and a weather forecast app... of which you need to charge without it being annoying thankfully!

Characters remember what you talk about and will bring it up in future conversations, so you cant be two faced lol

A romance autonomy system that you can switch on that allows ROs to flirt with you!

Random encounters to encourage re-playability.

An inventory system.

A weather system, that can be prepped for using the weather app on your phone.

Hourly progression system, there are only a set amount of hours in a day that you can use to do things without affecting you.

Discoverable side stories.

A private journal that keeps track of stuff for you. Kinda Elder Scrolls coded and i jive with it haha

And crazy enough, there's more. The above sounds complicated and overwhelming, but it isnt for the reader somehow. The author was able to integrate all the above without it feeling intrusive or annoying.

As for the story itself, remember this is currently one route. The writing is well done, it isnt overly flowery or super descriptive to the point of walls of text. Instead it gets to the point effectively and without losing points.

It made me want to read more, and that is exactly what we readers look for as we scour the IF space for more stories.

ABBY

I really like Abby. She's the preggo lady you can find, and I love the humanity she brings to the story. She does some things thatll make you go:

All of the characters feel grounded and not tropey if that makes any sense. And the dynamics of the group can change with the MC's input, or lack of it.

And then food. Holy shit, the need for food actually felt immersive lmao, whenever id find a snack or something id snatch that mfer up

The Bad:

I would like more zombies. The characters, the narrative, and the plot works well. But I'm worried of being presented with more human on human conflict/drama instead of the undead, and to that I recommend the author to introduce more scenes where we can see the horror, eeriness, and sadness that such an apocalypses would induce. Make a scene where the player is being chased by the undead because of a fuck up, it can be MC's or one of the characters to create tension or drama and it can even make an RO moment occur. Or a scene where you can enter a school, or one of the FEMA camps and see the aftermath of an incident where the zombies break in or someone infected got in. Of course, the author is steadily updating, and what I just said may very will be in the cards of a future update! But I do think something involving the zombies should occur sooner than later, as the beginning scene with the parent and the chaos, horror, and tension of the scene still stayed with me, and i was hoping to reach those emotional heights again while playing!

The Ugly:

Other than a few gender variable errors of the ROs and the regular grammar mistakes found in any IF, the biggest issue i had was with presentation. I'd recommend the author to clean up the spacing between paragraphs in the future when they have time alongside the new update.

The Aftermath:

Zombie IFs just don't seem to miss. Almost all are able to land within the "good" category whenever one releases, and this has the potential to land right in the "Chef's Kiss" tier. I'd recommend this game to anyone craving a zombie IF, and im excited to see this develop more in the future! The characters are grounded, flawed but not annoyingly, and capable. The story is plausible, and the narrative makes sense. Honestly? I want more and I want it now!

[somewhere-in-wales]

What if, in this moment, Aziraphale & Crowley found themselves unexpectedly transported to our world?

And then met these two idiots?

And they all had to work together to get Aziraphale & Crowley back?

I wrote a fic about it (When Worlds Collide). Here are some nice things people wrote underneath its chapters:

"I can't tell you how much I'm in love with this fic. Like I want to marry it, right now! The amounts of times I literally shrieked with laughter reading this. I had to stop to wipe my eyes, I am dying"

"In love w this actually. the SHENANIGANS!!!! this was a joy to read"

"this fic is eating me alive. an immediate cult classic. if i had your permission and any ability to execute this at all, i would bind this fic in leather and carry it with me all my days like a spiritual nomad with their dearest tome. You Are Taking Me There."

"JFJDJDJDJFJFKDUSHCMCKCD I NEED TO GO TO BED BUT THIS FIC IS SO GOOD"

"Oh, Chapter 4 is my favorite so far. And that's saying a lot, because every time I read a new one I think 'there's no way this can be topped...it's too good, too funny, too fresh a take on these characters"

You can find it on AO3 here When World's Collide, there's an exert below, and if you're feeling generous enough to do a little signal boost re-blog, I will love you forever.

"Terribly sorry, but I wonder if I might help settle this business about whether we are who we say we are?"

Michael and David exchange glances.

"I doubt it" says Michael, reaching around the door frame for his water bottle whilst stepping out of the bathroom to take a swig. Aziraphale sweeps his hand in an arc as Michael puts the bottle to his lips, glugging. He immediately coughs and spits red wine forcefully across the room.

“Holy shit!” Exclaims David, jumping backwards to avoid being splashed.

"What the Hell was that for?" Michael splutters angrily, wiping his mouth, eyes moving between Aziraphale and Crowley

"Did you swap that out when I was filming?" he asks, irritably, looking around at the mess. "You've completely ruined the costume."

"I do hate to see it ruined," Aziraphale worries, glancing at Crowley who mock pouts. "No harm done to the furnishings at least" he says, as the stains miraculously disappear. He turns to Crowley again, appealing.

"Yes, fine" responds the Demon, getting up dramatically. He eyes Michael, who's still agitated, and feels like someone is looking into his soul. The gaze of an actual Demon, not just his acting partner, is enough to stifle any remaining irritation. With his eyes fixed on Michael, Crowley lifts his hand to click his fingers, and removes the stains from the actor's costume completely. Michael looks wordlessly at where the stain was, and raises his gaze appealingly to David.

"It's not... they can't... this is ...." he tails off, walking over to the table and sitting down.

Crowley sweeps his eyes over David's features "he's Aziraphale?" he asks, a depth of skepticism to his tone, "this guy?"

"Yes", says David "he's lovely really" Aziraphale side-eyes David before flitting his gaze to Crowley.

"And you're me?" Crowley asks slowly, with equal depth.

"Y...yes" says David with rather less confidence. Even underneath the dark glasses, he can tell the Demon is searching his eyes. "I might just take the contacts out" he says, to no one in particular, and ducks back into the bathroom.

"They'll need our costumes back. Where are you two going to sleep tonight?" Michael asks.

"Oh I don't sleep" Aziraphale shakes his head as though he's been offered an unappealing appetiser.

"I do"

"We'll get you a hotel room" says Michael. Aziraphale and Crowley exchange glances and Michael resists the urge to settle their discomfort by saying they'll get two. This situation is ridiculous, but he'll be damned if he isn't going to have a little fun with it.

"Thank you" Aziraphale offers, politely.

The door to the bathroom opens and David comes out, eyes back to normal. Crowley looks him over, flicking his eyes to Aziraphale, gauging the Angel's reaction. Aziraphale stares at David's face, breathing slowly, mind retracing memories long gone, but never forgotten.

"We better go then" Crowley huffs.

"Not dressed like that" David gestures to Aziraphale, who looks down at his clothes fondly, smoothing down his jacket.

"I have standards, you know?" He says.

"He's not wrong" Crowley agrees.

Michael, who had been watching Aziraphale's reactions thoughtfully, taking mental notes, speaks up "if we go in pairs and break up leaving, it's possible that no one will notice two David and Michael's leaving."

David looks uncertain.

"Unless you have a better idea?" Michael asks, "One, single, better idea?" Crowley and Aziraphale both flick their heads to look at Michael in recognition.

"No, let's do that" David relents. "I'm going to change." He steps back into the bathroom.

"Me too" says Michael, heading for the door "I'll be back in 5 minutes."

A few minutes later, Michael returns in the outfit he arrived in that day, to the general disdain of Aziraphale.

"Do you still think we should come to an arrangement?" Asks Crowley, smiling at this turn of events.

"I can't wear that" Aziraphale gestures to Michael's clothes, completely failing to hide his disgust at the suggestion he should wear such an outfit.

"What's wrong with this?" Michael asks. He's wearing jeans and a shirt, nothing worthy of such disdain. His question is ignored.

"You have to, Angel" Crowley teases, just as the bathroom door opens and David enters in a bright purple jumper. Crowley looks at him, then back at Aziraphale, a panicked expression briefly flicks across his features. The Angel raises his eyebrows and puts his hands on his hips in a look that communicates 'your move'.

"Oh Hell no, that's not happening" the Demon states. Clicking his fingers, he changes Michael and Aziraphale into sharp suits, David and himself into slightly-less-tight-than-usual black jeans and a slim black shirt. "Take it or leave it" he says, glancing briefly at Aziraphale, who's eyes soften, and lips form a slight smile in thanks whilst he smooths down the well-fitting suit.

"Yes, much better" The Angel sighs.

"For you, maybe, I'd never turn up to work in this" Michael fiddles uncomfortably with the collar.

"You should dear, you look ...nice" Aziraphale says, moving over to Michael to smooth his collar. Michael frowns at the Angel, noting the back-handed compliment.

"The hotel's not far," says David. "I'll call for a car. I'll take Aziraphale." Aziraphale and Crowley exchange glances in silent resignation. "We should wait at least 10 minutes before you call for yours" he raises his eyebrows, a quick glance at Crowley. He reckons he has the easier job.

"So, I'll be pretending to be..." Aziraphale gestures to Michael.

"Michael" Michael looks unconvinced by this.

"Yes, I know, I just wondered if there's anything I should know about you?"

"Probably best if you just don't talk" Michael glances between Aziraphale and Crowley. But Aziraphale looks very uncomfortable at this suggestion.

"He's an actor" David tries to offer something that will help.

"Yes" Aziraphale responds in a tone that shows his patience is wearing thin.

"He lives in Wales" David tries again.

"Oh," Aziraphale smiles, a look of relief forming on his features "Oh lovely, I do love the Welsh Coast" he beams, looking at each of the other trailer occupants. "Yes, yes I think I can handle this" he nods, confidently, adjusting his cuffs.

David smiles back, broadly.

Michael and Crowley are less confident, their eyes meet with a knowing expression of concern.

Continued here

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

in the past week or so ive seen a lot of people posting about how there's this oversexualization of trans girls on the site, and I gotta agree, there are way too many people (including other trans women!) who act like we're all dtf 24/7 or always super kinky and horny. I've been tired of that stereotype for ages and i am saying this as a rather sexual trans girl myself...

...but I think people are overcorrecting a bit now, and are starting to veer into "trans women shouldnt be talked about sexually / need to be shielded from it" territory. and, to me, that's really dangerous, because outside of some queer spaces - and even within them- the sexuality of trans girls is heavily scrutinized, as is attraction to us. as much as I dislike certain aspects of the memes and jokes that kickstarted the stereotypes, I'm kinda grateful for them as well. girldick jokes helped with my bottom dysphoria, voice kink shit helped me like my voice, and the whole "tgirl tummy tuesday" thing gave me a lot of confidence in my body where I hated it before. I think this open appreciation of trans sexiness has done a lot for both me and others on tumblr.

again, obviously its got its problems - people end up assuming every trans girl is horny, or only spread positivity if its related to sex with us, and of course the people who do have dysphoria from the things that are being sexualized are left out (like those the "girls without dicks are like angels without wings" memes, ugh, feels icky every time). and on the note of comparing tgirls to angels, we also started getting treated like we're ethereal fertility goddesses and that t4t sex was some inherently sacred ritual. spoiler alert, trans girls are normal-ass people and t4t sex can be holy for the participants but its generally a pretty normal thing to do as well

coming back to the "don't sexualize trans girls" posts now, I think they were initially going in the right direction, but at this point I'm starting to raise an eyebrow at more than a few of them. I'm not gonna whip out the "youre a sex hating puritan if you post about it" accusation because that is obviously wrong but again, I think people are definitely overcorrecting and starting to turn this into a (false) dichotomy when it's not. its a complex topic and each individual trans woman will feel differently about it.

(I feel like the internet just erases any nuance in favor of a two-sided, highly polarized flamewar with unrealistic views on both sides. actually i wouldn't even say this is a super-nuanced discussion because its really not that hard to say "fetishization is bad, but so is suppression of sexuality". will this post just end up being a void scream and people will continue drawing lines between one side and the other? probably. but I am a stubborn bitch and I have hope that we can be reasonable.)

anyways I'll close this off by saying that I wrote this between around 1:30 and 2 AM on terrible sleep the night before, that I hope what I said is coherent enough, and that I will keep being a trans girl who is openly sexual, gets horny over other trans women, and is proud to be transsexy as fuck. I will keep being critical of jokes and trends and memes that stereotype us, even from our own community. I will keep being angry at how poorly us trans folks are treated with regards to our sex lives, bodies, and relationships between the two. I will keep loving and lusting over trans women without fetishizing them. And I will keep doing all of these til the day I die.

[rogersideup]

Nice to be Kneaded

Chapter Four:

Captain What’s-his-Butt

Series masterlist

Previous part: Nice to be needed Next part: absdoughlutely

Word count: 5,829

Warnings: My blog is 18+ only. All minors or blogs without an age in bio will be blocked. Minors DNI.

"Holy sh- Steven..." You panted, stopping dead in your tracks to slump your back. With your hands on your knees and your ponytail making it's way forward with your posture, you huffed and puffed trying to desperately get air in your lungs. "I think I punctured a lung. Or I have asthma. Or I have an asthmatic punctured lung."

When you mentioned in a casual conversation that you wanted to start working out a bit more to improve your mental health, Steven was quick to invite you along on a run with him.

Of course he knew he was going to have to cut his usual distance significantly, and he would have to slow down tenfold just to pretend he was of normal athletic ability around you, but around mile 4 was apparently where a normal person started to get tired.

"Come on, keep waking" He laughed at your commentary. "If you stop you're going to get muscle cramps in your legs."

"This is awful" You laughed while walking toward him, he was walking backwards with a smile on his face.

"Only a mile left!" He enthused, knowing it would annoy you.

"I feed you yummy desserts all day and this is what you do to me?!" You clutched your side as a sharp pain rang through the area.

"All things must be balanced, right?"

"No, if this were balanced you would be feeding me desserts all day too. This is not balance, this is a hate crime" You shook your head earning another laugh from the man.

"Okay, when we finish you can come to my house and I'll make you Toll House break and bake cookies" He joked.

"Why do you say that as if those aren't delicious?" You asked, still out of breath but preparing to run the last mile.

"Nothing is as delicious as your cookies"

"Yeah? Well, you're never eating one ever again because this sucks and it's all your fault."

"Was it not you who said you wanted to-"

"No. That was not me. That was me from yesterday. Me from yesterday and me right now are two completely different people."

"Okay, well you right now has another mile back to the car whether you like it or not." He giggled.

"Well then let's get this shit over with" You joked and started jogging. "I only have a mile left to watch your hair bounce when you run so I have to savor every moment of it because I'm never doing this again"

"My hair bounces when I run?" He questioned, jogging besides you.

"Yes, and it's glorious"

You two jogged the last mile before making it to his car, and he drove back to the neighborhood. When he pulled into the driveway, you could see Georgia on the porch swing. Sunglasses on, drink in hand, enjoying the summer air once again.

When the engine came to a stop and he took his key out and opened his door, he realized you weren't doing anything. And when he shot you a questioning look all you did was let your head fall back on the head rest.

"I can't move, my legs turned into jello and my front door is so far away."

He shook his head with a smile. "Alright, stay there. I'll come getcha"

He got out and closed the driver side door before coming over to you and opening your door. He turned around and bent his knees so his back would be on your level. "Hop on"

You carefully wrapped your arms around his neck and upper chest and your legs around his stomach, and he picked you up with ease.

"You're not even sweaty" You complained, letting your cheek drop lazily to the top of his head, too sleepy to support the weight of it anymore. "You're too perfect"

"I'm sorry" he apologized, "do you want me to be more sweaty?"

"Yeah next time maybe just sweat a little more. It'll make me feel better about myself" You smiled sleepily.

"Oh so there is a next time?" He picked up on your slip.

"Depends if you'll carry me inside next time too"

"I can definitely make that happen" He agreed.

You turned your head to look at Georgia and send her a wave, but when she didn't wave back, your stomach sank. Was something wrong? Did you do something to hurt her feelings? You made a mental note to check in on that later.

"Keys?" Steve asked as he walked up your driveway and approached your front door.

You used one hand to grab them from your back pocket and gave them to him. He opened the door and stepped in, closing it behind him.

He walked through your house and set you down gently on the couch. "The princess made of jello is back in her castle."

"That makes you my magic pumpkin" You kicked off your shoes.

He realized the smile was no longer on your face as you wrapped yourself up in a throw blanket to protect your skin from the air conditioning that was such a stark difference from the hot air outside.

"Are you okay?" He questioned, eyebrows furrowed.

"Yeah I'm fine." You nodded as he sat next to you on the edge of the couch. "It's just weird, I waved to Georgia cause she was looking at us but she didn't wave back or say anything. She's usually not like that."

"Oh..." His posture slumped. "It's probably because you were with me. I don't think she likes me very much."

"What?" You were genuinely shocked by that statement. Georgia loved everyone, and everyone loved her. "Why not?"

"I don't know" He shrugged. "I've introduced myself to her and tried talking to her a few times, especially since you said you were such good friends with her and it just seemed like she wasn't interested any of the times."

"Well that's disappointing" You pouted. "She's never said anything to me about it."

Your phone chimed with a text message, and as you pulled it out it was from her.

'Turn on the news.'

"Speak of the devil..." you mumbled.

"Did she say something about what happened?" He asked as you reached to put your phone on the coffee table.

"No, she told me to turn on the news." You explained. "Her and her husband are a little intense about the Sokovia Accords stuff, usually when she tells me to turn on the news it's about that."

Steve's heart started beating out of his chest, it was the first time you had ever directly mentioned anything about the war to him. Not only that, but if there was an update, he needed to know.

And if Georgia was intense about following along to the point where she encouraged other people around her to do so as well, and she didn't like him...

"Are you going to turn it on?" Steve asked, not knowing what he should do.

Was the update going to be about him? Was it about one of his team members?

Was this the moment he ran from Greenwood?

"No" You shook your head. "Not right now at least. If it's important I'm sure I'll hear about it eventually anyways."

"Why not?" He poked. He was desperate to figure out your stance at this point.

"I don't know how you feel, so forgive me if you disagree, but I'm just tired of the media treating these poor people like they're entertainment." You explained. "They had to make real life choices, they were forced in corners and they all had to do what they thought was right in that moment. Yet somehow it makes half the Avengers the good guys and the other half the bad guys? It's one of those situations where as you would say, the glass just is."

His big blue eyes softened at your empathy, but he didn't respond. It made you nervous, so you continued filling in the silence. "The same people who devoted their lives to saving ours are now being criminalized for choosing to continue to save lives in the means they thought was necessary. And the whole framing The Winter Soldier for the bombing thing broke my heart. I've been told that I need to have a deeper understanding of the government before I can express my opinion though so... I dunno. Maybe it's all just a bunch of hoopla. I just hope everyone comes to an agreement soon for Team Cap's sake. Nobody deserves that..... do you want me to put it on?"

"No, it's okay" He faked a grin, but he was proud of how genuine his voice sounded even after the mention of Captain America just slipped off your tongue. "It's just a lot to be constantly thinking about."

"Which is why I choose to not consume it at every waking moment" You agreed.

"That's smart." His voice was gentle. A big part of him was relieved at what you had just expressed to him, but it did nothing to relax the flight response pounding at his brain. "You seem tired, I'll let you take your well deserved nap now."

"You're leaving?" You complained, pouting out your lip.

He wanted to cry. You didn't even know the weight that question actually carried at a moment like this. Because right now, he's going to put on a happy face and tuck you in for a nap. He'll hug you goodbye and walk out that front door completely unaware of what was to greet him the moment he found out what was going on.

Depending on what the television told him, yes. He might be leaving. But for now and for you, this was as simple as leaving your house.

"What would Georgia think if she saw me carry you in and not leave for a while?" Steven reminded you. "She already doesn't like me, I don't want her to hate me. And I especially don't want her to hate me for taking up so much of her best friends time."

"I need to go talk some sense into that hardheaded woman" You shook your head. "But that's okay, I appreciate the effort. I'm sure it'll get better soon."

"If it doesn't, that's okay." He reminded you. "Not everyone is going to like everyone all of the time.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" You pouted.

Maybe. Maybe not.

"Yeah" He nodded with a grin but he was slowly dying. He leaned down to hug your form that was now laying down on the couch. "Enjoy your nap, I'll lock the door on my way out."

"Thanks, Honey. Get home safe, it's a long treacherous journey." You joked.

Once again, your words carried an unintentional weight on his heart. "I'm sure I'll be okay"

After he left, you settled for a nap. You tried and tried to shut your brain off but it just wasn't happening, it kept reminding you of that text. Maybe your brain would relax if you knew what was so important on the news.

So you gave in, you reached for the remote and turned on the TV. Immediately a breaking news story interrupted every program accessible to the public.

On it was two news anchors, taking turns back and forth explaining how it was recently discovered that Bucky Barnes had been put into cryosleep safely in the haven of wakanda as their greatest minds tried to develop a method of erasing the lingering mind control hydra still had over him.

They explained that other countries could no longer use force to try and detain him from the country, as nobody truly knew where it actually was. The anchors also speculated that once rehabilitated, Barnes would probably plea for a pardon.

It was also reported that Scott Lang and Clint Barton stayed behind to strike a deal with the government so they could be with their families. Each one was forced into retirement and placed on house arrest.

Lastly, they speculated that Steve Rogers was the one that brought Bucky to wakanda to seek refuge and rehabilitation. Though he chose not to stay himself, he allegedly visited every so often by means nobody was quite sure of. Nor did anyone know how he even knew where wakanda was in the first place.

Once again, they threw all of the unaccounted team members of Captain America up on the screen one by one as the usual warnings sounded in your ear like the most obnoxious broken record.

'... if you see any of these individuals, do not approach. They are dangerous. Call 911. Remember, failure to report these individuals will be considered a misdemeanor punishable by jail time and a hefty fine. Do not approach.'

First up was Wanda Maximoff, then Natasha Romanoff and Sam Wilson.

You unknowingly had a sad frown on your face as you watched theirs be posted for what felt like the hundredth time in the past week alone.

But when Captain America's picture came up, something about it really pulled you in.

You sat up on the couch and scooted to the edge of your seat. He was handsome, that's for sure. Perfect skin, and chiseled cheeks. The picture they used looked like it was an identification photo for S.H.I.E.L.D- the logo in the corner obviously blurred out. The golden dirty blonde hair on top of his head and his big blue eyes reminded you of your new best friend.

Steven.

Your brain came to a halt in just a split second and your hand searched for the remote, desperate to pause it on the picture but your eyes couldn't look away.

Your hand found it, and you frantically paused it. Then it all came together like snapping the last piece onto the center of an almost complete puzzle.

Strong nose and sharp jaw, the long eyelashes he used to blink at you sweetly to get his way, the pink lips that only stopped smiling whenever you could tell he was wrapped up in his own mind.

You hit play once more, desperately trying to process what you had just discovered, then they put his whole name up on the bottom of the screen.

Not Captain America. Not Steve Rogers.

Steven Grant Rogers.

Your first initial reaction was your brain working through thoughts too fast to even comprehend them. Immediately followed by feeling stupid for not putting it together sooner.

Then, in the span of an hour you paced back and forth across the expanse of the first level of your house.

After a bit of self loathing came an unexpected wave of anger towards him. He lied to you. But the more you thought about it, the more you realized he didn't lie to you at all. Next, you felt guilty that you had that rush of anger. You placed yourself in his shoes, walked yourself through the choices he probably had to make in order to get to where he was now. His first piece of stability in almost a year.

Then you had your own moral dilemma. With this knowledge and failure to report him to the government, you were now facing misdemeanor. Yet you never even had the thought of picking up the phone and doing that to him. It made you so sick to your stomach that you were nauseous for hours. Jail time and a fine were nothing compared to a whole life of suffering knowing you would've made the absolute wrong choice by reporting the sweetheart next door.

You needed to keep him far far away from Georgia and Micheal.

You needed to keep yourself away from running over to his house and pounding on the door until he opened it just so you could give him a hug and tell him it would be okay.

Thinking about the adversities he must've faced the past months made you want to cry. Long lonely nights in the cold, long lonely days in the heat, no sense of security, the whole country coming after him with blazing pitch forks, the loss of half a group of people he used to consider family. It must've been painful, and it must've been why he had that sad look in his eyes sometimes.

You knew now why he never wanted to talk about himself. All the times you'd catch him looking from your eyes to your lips, then back up to your eyes but never doing anything about the blush forming in both of your cheeks.

Whenever the two of you shared moments of deep conversation or vulnerability he'd go missing for a few days after.

He wasn't scared of commitment. He couldn't commit. He couldn't even promise his presence 10 minutes into the future. He was protecting you. Not from monsters and bad guys, but from himself.

You needed to find out a way to tell him without him bolting out of Greenwood faster than he arrived. But you also needed to let him down gently, let him know it was okay.

But even before that, you needed more time to let the whole picture sink in for your own sanity. You didn't care that you had work the next morning, or even that you committed to staying from before sunrise to after sunset. For hours you sat on the couch with your laptop, finally doing your own research on the Sokovia Accords and the Civil War.

You fell down a rabbit hole, and your research was extensive. But more and more you understood why anyone would disagree with the accords. Certain clauses mentioned human experimentation on them. Taking their blood, zapping them with electricity; it was immoral and invasive.

They didn't think they shouldn't be regulated, they just wanted to negotiate the terms of the accords and they were told no.

You even dug deeper into the personal fight between Steve and Tony Stark. However, that's where you decided to stop because it simply wasn't a matter you thought deserved public opinion. That was between them two, and it should stay that way.

You didn't sleep at all that night. In fact, you only set the laptop down to shower about an hour before you were supposed to go into work, then you stayed there all day.

Cake decorating really helped give you a clearer head. Of course you continued to think about it all day long, but the information was starting to settle.

Smoothing buttercream over crumb-coated cakes smoothed out the harshness of the words rushing through your mind. It reminded you to breathe calmly, stay steady and stable. By the time you had baked a few different pastries and gotten done with cake orders, it was already closing time.

The girls left one by one as they finished up their tasks, until it was just you left to decorate the sugar cookies they had baked earlier in the day. You even had them make a few extra for Steve for when he inevitably arrived so he could practice basic lining and flooding techniques.

When he walked in, you expected to feel some kind of way. Maybe he'd look more like the clean shaven hero you were used to seeing on the news, maybe that would reignite the anger.

But when he walked in, it wasn't shocking. It was just your sweet honey coming to spend time with you as per usual. You even managed to not show any of your internalized thoughts on your face or mannerisms.

Because if you could just spend a few hours with him without letting him know that you knew, you could prove he would be alright. You needed him to trust you.

So you took a second to greet him with a smile and a hug, then you helped him make his icing to the right consistency, and sat next to him to give him some tips and pointers on his cookies before returning to your own station, right across from him on the same table.

The two of you made your normal conversation, just as always it flowed easy. You laughed, listened to music, he gave you opinions on the cookies you were decorating, and you complemented his ability to pick up on the skill quickly every time he'd pick one up and show you what he'd done.

It felt normal, and it was normal.

As you were wrapping up your last order, there was a natural pause in conversation. He was concentrating hard on his cookies, and it was absolutely adorable.

His hair getting in the way of his eyes, his free hand holding onto his piping wrist to keep it steady, biting the inside of his cheek.

You knew it was the time to bring it up when you had to stop decorating because your hands were shaking too bad just at the thought of having this conversation.

But the doors were locked, and the blinds were drawn on all the windows. You weren't in either of your houses so it was a neutral space. As long as you could make him feel safe, everything should be okay.

"I have a question..." You started, dusting a cookie with edible glitter.

"What's up?" He asked, furrowing his eyebrows when he heard the slightest shake in your voice. But he didn't look up from his cookies, he was too busy filling in his lines.

"You're a smart guy, and given your last job I was wondering if you could give me some advice on something?"

"I mean... I can certainly try."

"So yesterday after you left I turned on the news like Georgia told me to." You started, that alone made his head snap up to look at you. You watched panic fill his body, and you immediately felt bad. But you couldn't rush through it, the situation was too delicate. "It got me thinking about how the feds could even prove that someone failed to report a sighting?"

"Well, if someone makes it known and clear they saw one of them, it travels fast by word of mouth." He answered slowly, and cautiously.

You slowly nodded your head as you thought of what to say next. "So let's say someone saw one of them, but had no intentions of reporting... they could just simply keep that information to themselves and it would be hard to prove?"

"Theoretically, yes." He slowly set the piping bag down as his heart thumped so fast and strong he could hear it pounding in his head. Would you be the one to send him back on foot? "But sometimes it's not that simple. There's security cameras, social media, people speculate..."

"Well I for one would never do that to any of them.... Report them I mean." You stated, and in that moment his eyes met yours. "You mentioned earlier that I looked tired, it's because I stayed up all night researching the accords."

"Why did you do that?" He swallowed the lump in his throat to no prevail.

"Because I saw a picture of Captain America on the news, and I thought I owed it to everyone around me to do the research before I express my opinions. And by the way, he looks just like you." You told him with a warm but empathetic smile as you momentarily looked up from dusting the cookies. "But now I'm certain that keeping the remaining four safe would be worth the risk. I mean... it's not like I know Steve Rogers personally or anything. I just know he has a lot of people who really care about him, and I'm sure they would do anything they could to keep him safe."

He didn't respond for a while, and that was perfectly okay. You knew he needed time to think about what to do for his own wellbeing.

When he did speak up, his voice was sad and broken. "I think that he's probably had a lot of people in his life make similar choices, and it's done nothing but make their own lives more complicated. He would probably advise against it."

"That just goes to show how loved he is, because time and time again he's been worth the fight." You pointed out. "Again, this is all just hypothetical but if he were ever in that situation I'd hope he could feel safe enough to trust that he was in good hands with nothing to worry about."

Once again you were met with silence, and it was still okay. You'd rather him sit quietly with his cookies than bolt out of the door.

He picked his piping bag back up and started working on the cookies once more, while you grabbed your edible marker and started drawing on small and final details on a set of cookies you did a few hours ago.

A few minutes of thick and almost intolerable silence was broken by nothing but the smallest sniffle, and when you looked at his face once more, his big blue eyes were blinking back tears.

You'd never seen an individual more broken than the man in front of you, and though you didn't want to fix him, you certainly wanted to be a support beam in his journey. All things considered, most of his life had been a tragedy that almost every American child studied in history class. The least you could do for him was be a friend.

His tearful eyes never looked up as his nose and cheeks became pink, and his bottom lip quivered.

"Oh, my sweet honey" You pouted, immediately dropping everything in your hands onto your desk and walking over to him without second thought. "You need a hug."

He dropped his piping bag and his elbows met the metal surface of the desk, his head dropping into his hands knowing he was passed the point of emotional stability. The tears that spilled over his cheeks had a no return policy, and at this point into his game of high stakes hide-and-go-seek, he absolutely knew better than to fight them.

"I'm sorry." He cried out as your hands wrapped around him from behind, your head resting in the crook of his neck. "I'm so sorry."

Leaning over the back of the swivel chair to hug him was a bit of an awkward position to be standing in, but you didn't care. All that mattered in that moment was holding him tight and closing your eyes. "Don't you dare apologize."

"When did you figure-"

"Yesterday." You answered his question. "Last night."

"Are you mad at me?" His voice cracked.

His sadness was breaking your heart. "No, honey." You squeezed him tighter for a moment.  "Not at all."

"Are you scared of me?"

You physically had to hold yourself back from chuckling at that question. It seemed silly to even begin to think that the big teddy bear would even hurt a fly, but you understood he probably felt like a monster in this moment. "Not even a little bit"

"I'm so sorry" He apologized again.

"It's okay" You reassured him. "I promise it's okay."

Letting go of him, you took a step back so you could slowly turn his swivel chair so he was facing you. He got the memo and dropped the hands from his face.

You stepped between his legs and gave him a more proper hug this time, lord knew he needed it bad. This time he wrapped his arms around you too, and his hold felt apologetic. But somehow yours did too, and when one of your hands ever so lovingly cradled the back of his head it was as if you were apologizing for how cruel the world had been to him.

He soaked in every moment of your touch, something he desperately lacked since this whole mess started. His emotions were somewhere between relief and moral dilemma.

He could never ask you to put yourself in the position you were currently in. If anyone else found out that you knew, you'd be in massive trouble. He was in massive trouble. He should've been on foot to a whole new country the moment you asked him the question, yet here he was clinging to you and hoping you'd never let go.

His body was begging for any ounce of security it could get, it needed a full night of worry free sleep, it needed a few days of not being anxious, it needed you to hold him tight and remind him it would be okay.

He needed to be selfish, and you were willing to let him be.

"I don't even know why I'm crying, I'm a mess" He admitted sadly.

"You're not a mess, you're exhausted." You rubbed his back and absorbed the moment. "When's the last time you've had any real rest?"

"It's been almost a year." He admitted honestly.

"Is Greenwood the first place you've settled down in since it all happened?" You questioned, he gently nodded. "You know you're safe here? Right?"

His lack of response confirmed a suspicion you've had since last night, he was still on edge even in the quaint little town.

"I'm not." He shook his head.

You let go of the hug and pulled away a bit so you could look him in the eyes. Your hands rested on his shoulders and his on your waist. "Well you're safe with me. No doubt about that, right?"

"Considering it's been almost 24 hours and I'm not in a cell yet, I don't think I have any doubts" He chuckled though his sad tears.

"Trust takes time I know, but if you need anything I'm here for you. Any time of the day, even if you just need me to keep an eye out for your own peace of mind to get some real sleep."

"Do you think you could take down a swat team and the Secretary of State?" He joked as a smile pushed through his burden.

"Mmmmm...no? But I can definitely wake you up and let you take care of it. I'm a pretty good cheerleader." You pondered. "Ooh! Or I could give them all cookies and ask them nicely to leave you alone."

"Well why didn't I think of that before?" Steve let out a genuine laugh.

"Right? Did you even try that first before going into hiding?" You jokingly questioned.

"Not everyone is as smart as you, honey." He joked right back.

"Maybe just keep that in mind next time" You smiled, happy to see even the tiniest bit of relief on his face. "Oh also, this hair and that beard are really working for you."

"Really? That's what you got out of this whole situation?" Steve questioned with a smile and a raised eyebrow.

You happily pat the top of his head before stepping away to go back to your desk, but you almost regretted it the moment cool air hit where his warm hands were once holding you.

"Yeah, was I supposed to get something else out of it?" You asked, cocking your head to the side.

"Maybe not being so trusting of strangers, doing some research on the people you let into your house..."

"I did eventually do the research, you can't really deny that now." You laughed.

"I guess I can't." Steve wiped the last of the tears off his face and picked up his piping bag again.

There was a few more moments of silence that were way more comfortable this time, the atmosphere was no longer thick, and you had one last trick up your sleeve to get your friend to smile.

"... You're still going to come hang out here, right?" You questioned.

"So long as I'm still welcome." He answered, you could hear the hesitation in his voice.

"Of course you are! Now why would you ever not be welcome he- you drive me crazy." You shook your head like a disappointed mom.

Steve puffed out a giggle at your reaction to his reluctance. "Do you understand my ability to lift that stand mixer a little better now?"

"Two men, Steven. I was going to get two men for that job, and even then I had my doubts. Here I was think you were about to pull a muscle in your back."

"I think Michael could've handled that all on his own." Steve shrugged, obviously joking.

"Well since you're not going to flee Greenwood I think I should tell you something..." You started.

"What?"

"Your circles are great, but your straight lines? A liiiiiitle shaky" Your voice went up an octave or two and you pinched your forefinger and thumb together with just a tiny bit of space between them.

He looked up at you, then back down at his cookies, and pouted when he noticed you weee actually right.

"Ugh!" He threw his head back dramatically. "You know what you just did? You just squished my feelings."

"Oh no!" You laughed. "It's just constructive criticism!"

"I do not care. My feelings are squished and there is no way to un-squish them!"

"Relax big buy, you're still a beginner" You took the seat right next to him and you instinctively rolled the chairs as close to each other as you could. You put your hand out asking for his piping bag, so he gave it to you. "Let me show you how it's done."

The remainder of the night, everything went back to normal. You taught him as much as you could the best way you knew how, and he made you laugh.

When the two of you decided to call it a night, both of your keys in hand and ready to head out, you were about to flip off the last light switch before he brought it up once more.

"Thanks again for being so kind to me. I've been having a really hard time since the war and you have been the best escape." He admitted in the comfort of the dark bakery. "Not many people have been so understanding."

"Of course, honey. I always look forward to spending time with you, and I've always got your back whenever you need it." You squeezed the top of his arm. "But I have no idea what your talking about..."

Genuinely confused for a moment, he was quick to remind you. "The Captain America thing"

"Who?" You said again, feigning confusion.

"The civil wa- oooooohhhh" He realized you were playing dumb for the sake of keeping this a secret to the outside world.

You laugh as you pushed through the door and held it open for him. He walked through and closed it.

"I've literally never heard of Captain what's his butt before" You mumbled under your breath as you locked the door.

"That's a better name I think" Steve nodded in agreement.

"You think?! I know!" You played along.

"You know what?" Steve asked.

"I know nothing." You insisted. "Goodnight, what's his butt."

"Goodnight, Honey." Steve smiled sincerely for the first time in a while.

Next part: Absdoughlutely

Tag list: @patzammit @bemysugarbean @buckymydarlingangel @happinessinthebeing @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @differenttyphoonwerewolf @themotherof10 @lokislady82 @talesofadragon @spikeluv84 @xxxalicerogersxx @avid-fic-reader-05 @royalwriteroftheuniverse

Have any asks, or headcannons you want to see come to life about Nomad Steve and Baker Reader? Drop them in my inbox and I’ll write it! Check out extra Nice to be Kneaded more fun stuff bonus chapters here!

[ilovebuckers5]

¸.♡.¸so high school ¸.♡.¸

chapter 1 - sparks fly

｡･:*pairing˚:✧｡ - hs!paige x fem!oc!lydia

ˏˋ°•summary*⁀➷ - Paige could never see herself going so crazy over a girl that it distracted her from basketball but here she was. while Lydia could never imagine getting off track of school for just another girl but then again here she was.

⋆.ೃword count࿔*:･ - 3.2k

-ˋˏ ༻themes༺ ˎˊ-

-fluff

-love at first sight

⋆ ˚｡warnings⋆୨୧˚

-none

I walked through the doors of my homeroom. There is no way I'm doing this. My first day as a junior felt like walking on clouds. My feet felt so right against the carpet of my classroom.

Most people wouldn't be that excited to be a junior for the first day after summer but my brain couldn't get the thought of high school out of itself.

My seat was right next to a window that perfectly showcased the basketball hoops that were next to the outside lunch tables.

It took me a second to breathe in the new classroom scent that was filled with what seemed like sweaty, tired, bad breath, auras but the scent of all my friend's body mists canceled it out. I waved to a couple of the girls that surrounded my desk. I felt lucky to have friends who waited for me.

I rushed myself to the corner of the room and sat down next to the friends who weren't late, hugging every one of them. Then my best friend, Lily. I wrapped my arms around Lily's waist which was covered by a custom Taylor Swift cardigan that was purple to match the Speak Now album.

"Holy shit you got it!?" I tugged on the very bottom of the softly knitted cardigan in awe.

"Yup!" Lily spun around with her hands spread out like a princess in her very first wedding dress.

You could probably see hearts of jealousy forming in my eyes. I've always wanted one of those cardigans. Looks like I'd just have to steal it from Lily sometime sooner or later.

The seat was hard with a dip in the middle which was familiar and normal but still got me all excited. This is the seat I'd be in for the next whole year (probably a couple of weeks before someone claims I'm creeping them out, forcing the teacher to move my seat.)

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I had in one airpod while the rest of the class walked in the doors. Sulking and dragging their feet across the floor. How could anyone not be excited about a day like this? Beats me.

I took no time to pull out a notebook and pens and pencils, writing down almost every word that my teacher said about how this year would go. My focus was nowhere but between my paper and my teacher's face.

Until I accidentally slipped an eye out of the window. My eyes were met with a blonde ponytail rushing across the blacktop. The girl was looking back and forth between the floor in front of her and the basketball hoops. I could feel her stress through the glass window.

Soon enough, the door of my classroom swung open to reveal the same blonde girl, still painted with the same stress but now that I could see her face it seemed cuter that she was in such a rush. A couple of balls of sweat fell down her face while the teacher gave her a 'how are you late on the first day' kind of look.

She had on a pair of gray sweatpants and a dark red hoodie that almost perfectly matched her shoes. As I looked her up and down, the teacher sent her my way. That's when our eyes met for the first time. It felt like I was looking at the sky. Her face was still flushed with a light pink hue and was identical to her lips. She looked like she did not want to be here, let alone be seated next to a 16-year-old swiftie.

She sat down with a huge huff and let her legs naturally separate. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her so to not seem creepy I had to talk to her. I'm almost positive that the teacher just thought I was filling her in on what had been said earlier but I was not. For the first time in a while, I wasn't focusing on what my teacher was saying. I wasn't taking down everything she said and putting it in my notebook. Instead, I was looking into the eyes of who was now my biggest crush.

"Hey! I promise you from what I've heard, this class is not as bad as it seems. I heard they'll be a shit ton of group projects maybe we could do some of them together?"

I was always told that I was a chatterbox and I needed to stop being so open and welcoming to people. that didn't stop me ever. I could tell that she was trying to ignore me but eventually, she gave in and looked me in the eye again. Her face was pretty blank but I could see right behind her dull-looking eyes that she wanted someone kind in this class. Maybe I'm just obsessed with reading people but it feels pretty accurate to me

"Thank you but I'm good," she said, quickly shutting down my excitement of the conversation.

I let out a sharp breath and looked back at my desk. At least I tried.

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The rest of the class was calm for me. Probably miserable for the blonde. Just as I was getting up to leave the classroom after our bell rang, I realized that I didn't even know her name. And of course, I was far too nervous to go talk to her again so I had to suffer the feeling of not knowing my own crush's name.

Then I was saved.

She walked out of the room right in front of me and was greeted by another girl, she looked like her best friend.

"Paige!" the girl squealed wrapping her arm around Paige's shoulder.

Paige.

I decided that I had been walking behind the two girls for long enough. To the point where my blood started to boil and the sight of the two being so exhilarated to see each other. I know I had just "met" Paige but I wanted that to be me. I wanted to be close to her.

I slowly slipped past the two girls and walked up to Lily, hugging her again. As hard as I tried, my face was still red from thinking about Paige. and Lily could tell.

"What's up with you?" She said nudging my shoulder.

My eyes widened once I realized that my face was burning up.

"Oh uh, nothing! it was just really hot in that classroom. That's why I'm hot no other reason. I mean it is August, and late summer is always the hottest here I mean when I tell you I was sweating so much in that class it was crazy. You're lucky you didn't have to be put through that heat heh." That was when I realized I was rambling. Only getting redder by the second.

"That's why I'm red." I rubbed the back of my neck while hiding my face.

Lily's eyebrows furrowed in. She saw right through me.

She shook whatever lie I was pushing out of my mouth and kept on walking toward her next class. passing period was around 7 minutes so once she went into her next class I took the time to go to the bathroom and touch up my lipgloss. I had a feeling that that would happen every passing period now.

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Paige's pov

It was lunch now and I still couldn't get that girl out of my head. I barely even remembered how she looked I just remembered her voice. soft and welcoming. I honestly loved it. her words rang through my head all day and I wish I was a bit more nice in class. I was secretly hoping that we would have at least two classes together because she seemed like the nicest person to come up to me.

It only took me a couple of minutes to finish the lunch I had made earlier this morning. The only reason I finished eating so quickly was to get to the outside basketball court before any of the cocky and annoying guys did.

There was already a ball laying out on the floor so I picked it up and called over Azzi to practice with me because playing basketball with yourself had to be the strongest guy magnet to exist.

We were just practicing layups and rebounds for what felt like a very short amount of time before my eyes latched onto the same girl. I missed that shot I was in the middle of making once I saw her walking to the tables.

I've never actually let a girl distract me from basketball but I couldn't help myself. Azzi quickly noticed and part of me felt like she was jealous.

Azzi tapped my shoulder, causing me to lose focus on the girl. It seemed like she was in slow motion as she walked past me without even looking.

Everything was back at a normal speed when Azzi gathered my attention.

"Dude, are you good?" She lifted her hands in the air.

By the time I could come up with an answer, she was gone. and I still didn't know her name.

"Yeah, I'm g-good." I was not.

My mind kept going back to that moment and replaying it over and over. I had just noticed that she had freckles. Perfectly and evenly distributed over her tanned skin. Her hair was long and it draped over her shoulders like a shawl. She wasn't short but she wasn't tall. 5'7 maybe? I kept on trying to remember her features as detailed as I could. I mean I only looked at her for a couple of seconds, there wasn't much to work with.

------------------------------------------------------------

When I got home it was harder than usual to focus on anything. My dad started explaining what I'd do for basketball this year as if I hadn't been thinking about it all summer. My brain made its choice of blocking out everything and only focusing on this mystery girl.

I was never one to ignore my parents, even if they were talking about something boring, unlike basketball. Yet here I was zoning out while my dad tried to get my attention multiple times.

I finally snapped out of whatever haze I was in and looked my dad in the eye. "What huh? Sorry."

He rolled his eyes at me and stood up to get another plate of food, along with one for me.

"I said, you'll want to try and get closer with other teammates and not just Azzi. There is a chance you'll play with them in the future."

He handed me a plate of food with a couple of utensils before sitting back down and finishing his food.

I ate my food quickly and tried to get outside before it got too dark.

Usually, I'd go outside and practice shooting a ball around but when I stepped outside I saw the one person I had been thinking about all day.

The same girl from school had just walked into what I was guessing was her home. My heart sank a little when I saw the door shut behind her. There was no way that this girl was living right across from me.

Part of me wanted to keep playing with my basketball until it got dark but another part of me (the one that took control) wanted to be bold. So I did

I walked across the street between me and the girl's house and stepped onto her porch. I hesitated knocking but slowly knocked on her blue wooden door three times.

At first, there was no answer so I turned myself around, convincing myself that it was a bad idea even though I really wanted someone to answer the door.

Just as I was about to walk down the four steps of her porch, the door opened. My head snapped around to see her standing in the doorway.

"Hey?" She said.

Her voice was just as soft as I could remember from this morning. She was so confused though.

I waved at her with my back slightly turned in her direction before switching angles and walking right back up to her porch.

"Hi! Uh, I'm sorry but I saw you walking in and I wanted to apologize for being so blunt this morning. It was rude." I tried to cover my face once I felt it growing with heat.

But when I looked up, she was still smiling. She was smiling as if I didn't totally treat her like shit in first period. She smiled as if she was glad that I was on her porch.

"Oh don't worry about that. First days of school aren't everyone's thing like they are for me so I don't blame you." She began to walk towards me while shutting the door behind her.

"I'm Lydia!"

Lydia. It fit her so well.

"I'm Paige." I shook her hand which was standing still in the air right in front of me.

"Well, It's nice to meet you, Paige. I guess I'll see you around."

"I'd hope so, we live right next to each other so if we didn't I'd get pretty worried."

"Would you now?"

Lydia then turned around and walked back into her house.

My feet felt like they weren't even attached to the ground. My hands tingled and I could still feel her touch against my palm. I must have stood there for at least 3 minutes before running back into my own house and sprinting up the stairs.

I threw myself on my bed with my arms and legs spread out.

"Shit!"

My head fell into my hands attempting to cover my now red face, even though I didn't have anyone to hide it from.

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Lydia's pov 

The minute I got back inside, I was quite literally jumping for joy. I was squealing and running around my house as if I just got into my dream college.

I actually lived right next to the one girl I wanted to. Paige.

I ran up to my room and continued to jump up and down. I took no time to get out my record player and put on my Lover record. I had it at the max volume.

I began to sing along to the lyrics of Cornelia Street as loud as I could. After screaming the lyrics to every Lover song, I calmed myself down and flopped my body onto my bed. The covers slid around while I squirmed about my bed. I then took a pillow into my hands and screamed as loud as I could into it.

By now my face was blazing red and I couldn't feel anything on my body.

Some would say that I was overreacting but they obviously didn't know how much this meant to me.

First of all, my nice personality actually showed and Paige didn't think I was just being annoying and perky. Second of all, she didn't mean to have an off-putting reaction to my nice personality. Third of all, she actually gave enough of a fuck to apologize for having an attitude this morning. and fourth of all, she lived right. Next. To Me.

I felt my heart flutter out of my chest the more I thought about it. and just as I was getting caught in a daydream of what the future could hold for me and Paige, my brother walked in.

"Can you turn that music down? My ears are fucking bleeding."

Of course, I wasn't going to turn the music down or let my brother ruin my lovely daydreaming moment, so I picked up a different pillow of mine and chucked it at his face.

"Put on some headphones then!"

I yelled over my music. Was it maybe a little too loud? Yes. Did I care? Nope.

My brother slammed my door and left to storm down the hallway and complain to my mom. Next thing you know she was interrupting me and stood in the doorway with a hand on her hip.

I was now forced to turn down my amazing musical taste and listen to my mom's lecture.

"What is going on? Why on earth are you so smiley?"

My face was serious and stern until she asked what was up with me. Then I began to let my smile right back out and crept up to my mom. I wrapped my arms around her, still not being able to control my excitement.

"Mom the best thing happened today. Sit down sit down." I sat in my desk chair after patting on the bed for my mom to sit on. A long sigh left her mouth while she shut the door and sat down next to me.

"So basically, I was in my homeroom ready for everything when I looked out the window and this random blonde girl was rushing through campus, and then next thing I knew she was in my class. Mom she has the prettiest blue eyes and her hair looks so shiny and long and oh my god." I dipped my head into my hands to shade the absolutely humongous smile that was on my lips.

"She sat next to me and I was like 'blah blah blah school is difficult on the first day blah blah blah this class is going to be fun blah blah blah' I was being nice like how I usually am and boom she has a bland ass reaction- language I know I'm sorry. then I get home and the next thing I know she's at my door! she starts apologizing for her reaction and is being so nice and I find out that her name is Paige! Paige Paige Paige oh my God!"

I was now spinning around in my chair with my knees huddled close to my chest and when I looked up my mom had the most admiring smile on.

My mom always cared for me and my love life. She had to be the sweetest and most supporting and caring mom ever.

She then pulled her hand up to my back and began rubbing back and forth, slowly calming me down.

"That's amazing honey. So she lives near us?"

My face lit up just thinking about that fact.

"Yes! Right across the street!"

My mom laughed again at my excitement.

"I'm happy for you love." She removed her hand from my back and stood up with a grunt.

Once she left the room I was finally calmed down. I let out a huge breath and laid back down on my bed, staring at the ceiling.

I could almost feel my heartbeat in my mouth as I panted. All that jumping and screaming was getting to me.

Without even taking off my jeans or my sweater, I fell asleep on top of my covers. I was curled up in the corner of my bed now.

Of course, all I could think and dream about was Paige. My head began jumping from scenario to scenario. Ones where me and Paige were together. A first date. And all of those thoughts slowly led me to sleep.

for the first time in a while, I actually felt like this would work. Like maybe I had found a crush that won't fuck me over silently by ignoring me.

[aloneinthehellfire]

Chapter Fifteen: Sattler's Quarry

Gates Of Hell [Masterlist]

Word Count: 3.9k

Warnings: mentions of death, virus, mentions of past trauma, thalassophobia (deep fear of water)

[A/N: this chapter is dedicated to the one and only @sattlersquarry who has literally been supporting this series since day one!!! I honestly don't know where this fic would be without your constant support so, in honour, here's a chapter filled with the steve x reader moments we deserve (and maybe a little angst, but I can't help myself)

I would also like to take the moment to thank everyone for their patience, I've been through two rounds of sickness and it really took a lot out of me but I'm okay, I'm back, and I'm really excited to share this chapter with you all! I hope everyone enjoys!]

Sattler's Quarry

You were living on borrowed time.

It wasn’t news to you, in fact it’s all you’ve been thinking about since the day the gate exploded, leaving you and Steve stranded in a foreign world shaped like your home. The thought of it creeps in whenever you’re still, imagining how horrible it would be if it happened without warning.

And then those terrifying images play out like a slide-show. You turning, attacking, regretting. You hate that you’re imagining all the ways you could possible turn on the boy you cared about, but you can’t help it. This virus did everything it could to make you feel like a monster.

Steve can tell your symptoms are getting worse. You’re trying your best to hide them, force them away, but every so often you’ll slip up and expose the intensity of it, snapping at him or stumbling to a stop to blink away the black spots in your vision. He could just go on, find the gate himself and escape before it was too late. But he wasn’t leaving you down here.

After Max’s radio message this morning, you had both immediately set off, determined for this to be the last trip across the Upside Down forever. You just hoped you had decrypted the pattern correctly and weren’t just leading you both out here for nothing. It wouldn’t be the first time.

Once your soft footsteps turn to crunches above the gravel, you know you’ve arrived.

Sattler’s Quarry was located on the edge of town, buried behind a thick expanse of woods behind the lab. It wasn’t a particularly unpopular place, but since it was owned land people generally tried to stay away from it. That was until Will Byers’ body was found just before he miraculously showed up alive a week later, making it a honeypot for insensitive teens. Since so many kids were visiting, the owner, Frank, decided it best to just drain the quarry to avoid anymore mishaps with government cover-ups and reckless teens alike.

While it didn’t make the cut for the ‘bodies of water’ criteria, you figured it should count for its past.

“Um, so where is this gate meant to be if there’s no water?” Steve questions, squinting towards his surroundings. Somehow everything was darker around the quarry, making it near impossible to spot anything dangerous. And there was always something dangerous.

“They said it always appears at the heart.” You reply, keeping your focus on the ground so you don’t accidentally walk off a cliff in an anti-climactic end to your life.

“What kind of cryptic bullshit is that?”

“I think they just mean the middle.” You gently nudge his arm, spotting the edge of the quarry and he nods, sighing.

“Okay… let’s find the middle.”

You lead him to the edge, focused on your footing to ensure it was solid ground. Everything seemed normal until a crackle of lightning above you shed a spotlight, glinting below. You both freeze, staring down.

“Holy shit.” Steve breathes, and you can only nod in agreement.

You had never seen the quarry so full with water even before they drained it, but there it was, rising up to what would be half full. You can just spot the smaller rock ledge you and Robin would sit at during the summer, imagining the quarry could have been a swimming spot if it weren’t so small. Now you didn’t really have to imagine.

“I didn’t even know the Upside Down had natural water.” You say, feeling a sudden pang of fear. “Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“When was the last time you drank water?”

“Uh…” He frowns at first, thinking it through. And then he widens his eyes, staring back at you.

Neither of you have had food or water for three weeks. And worse yet, neither of you had noticed.

“How is that possible?” Steve questions and you shake your head. “I don’t even… are you hungry?”

“No.” You let out a breath, looking around you. “How could we have forgotten something like that?”

“Been too busy fighting and running.” Steve shrugs and you tighten your lips. “Come on, we’ll freak out about this later, let’s get a closer look at this water.”

You point out the ledge you had spotted earlier and soon enough, you had both quickly descended down until you were both peering over the edge, close enough to the water to see your reflections shining back at you.

“The water seems pretty clear.” Steve nods, hands on his hips as he looks across the massive body of water.

You frown. “How can you tell? Everything’s so dark down here.”

“Yeah I can’t see shit, I was lying.” Steve peers back down at it, crouching and running his hand through the water. It was strange, knowing now that he hadn’t touched water in weeks and yet, he still remained completely satisfied. “Dustin said the gate should glow red when it opens… do you think we’ll be able to see it from up here?”

“I don’t know.” You say, shifting on your feet. Steve looks up at you, noting your uneasy nature.

“Hey, they’ll let us know when the gate opens on their radar thingy.” He assures, standing back up.

“That’s not…” You glance back at the water before turning around, opting to face anywhere but there. “I don’t like water.”

“You don’t like water?” Steve repeats and you nod, thinning your lips. “Wait, like, you’re scared of it?”

“Not the water specifically. Just like...” You explain, wafting your hand through the air. “The stuff in the water.”

“Like what?” He asks, raising an eyebrow and you look shocked. “What? I’ve been swimming all my life, I have no idea what you’re on about.”

Your mouth gapes, feeling exasperated as you look between him and the water. “There’s- it could… Scary fish.”

“Scary fish?” He tries to hide his smirk and you bat his arm.“It’s the quarry, okay? Nothing was even in here before it got drained or some shit, nothing is gonna be here now, okay? Can you swim?”

“Yeah, I can swim.” You nod, looking down with a shudder. “But it’s much nicer in a pool with ceramic tiles staring back at me. Not whatever endless void of death I’m looking at right now.”

“That’s the positive spirit.” He chuckles and you grimace. “Okay, okay, look, I’m not asking you to jump in there alone, okay? We’ll do it together.”

When silence washes over, you turn to see him holding out his pinkie. You smirk, looping your own around it.

“Thought you said this was childish.”

“It grew on me.” He shrugs, smiling down at you. When he realises he’s just staring, he clears his throat, stepping back. “So, uh… what now?”

“We wait, I guess.” You say, lowering yourself onto a smaller ledge etched into the rocky surface, digging your elbows into your knees as you lean forward with your head in your hands, trying not to think about what could be lurking in the deep.

Steve joins you after a moment, his knee brushing against yours as he stretches out. He thinks how strange it was you were both so comfortable with contact that it was simply second-nature, your arm pressed against his to the point he could feel your warmth even through the thick fabric of your jackets. When the apocalypse started, neither of you could sit so close, the space between you speaking volumes.

“Do you think the military have it sorted?”

Steve’s question was a surprise, making you straighten up to meet his eyes inquisitively.

“I mean, it’s been three weeks. They must have done something.” He theorises and you shrug, not giving it much thought.

“Maybe.” You say, pursing your lips. “They didn’t have much luck before but, like you said, it’s been three weeks. The worst of it would probably mean they move us out of Hawkins, maybe to California or something.”

Something sparked hope then in Steve’s chest. Us. Not ‘them’, or ‘you’, us. Steve was always afraid to speculate about the future after the Upside Down, fully aware of the inevitable possibility you won’t have one. But there you were, including yourself in the narrative like it was meant to be.

You twist your face when you noticing him smiling, making you laugh. “You’re making that face again.”

“I can’t help it.” He chuckles and you smile back at him, nudging his shoulder playfully. “You wanna hear something funny?”

“I can’t deal with another one of your ‘knock, knock’ jokes right now.” You groan and he laughs, shaking his head.

“No, it’s not that.” He scrunches his face in thought, letting his eyes drift to the water then back to you, studying you like it was his last moment he ever could. “I, uh… do you remember anything about middle school?”

You raise your eyebrow, smirking. “Uh… a little, I guess. Why, do you?”

“It’s probably the only thing I can remember.” He sighs, leaning back until the rock edge dug into shoulder. “It was the last time I felt like a kid.”

“What’s so funny about it?” You remind him and he clicks his tongue, nodding.

“I, um…” Steve looks nervous, staring at his shoes. It made your stomach flutter, feel giddy. “I actually had the biggest crush on this girl back then. I… I don’t think I hid it that well either.”

You slowly nod, looking at your hands. “Nancy?”

“No.” He says and you back to him, frowning. “It… it was you.”

Your eyes widen. “What?”

“I- I thought you knew.” He laughs and you shake your head, looking bewildered. “Literally everyone else did. Even Robin was teasing me about it.”

“You throw so many parties that the school practically lives at your house, you’re always ranting about getting a basketball scholarship, and weirdly enough I am fully aware of the crush you had in middle school that you completely ruined but it’s so mind-blowing I can’t even repeat it.”

His mind is taken back to his very first official meeting with Robin, the way she had rambled at him the entire car ride as he drove around searching for you. She knew so much about him and, since you were close, he figured you would have known all about his middle school crush too. How wrong he was.

“I didn’t know.” You say, smiling in disbelief. “Seriously? Me?”

“Yeah.” He laughs nervously, running a hand through his hair. “I know we didn’t really hang out that much, but whenever you were around… I don’t know, you just seemed so… cool. And fun. You would always make the best jokes, you never let anyone tell you what to do. You were so different from my other friends, I just… I just had a massive crush on you.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” You ask, your wide eyes staring up at him, waiting for an answer.

“I…” He lets out a breath, shrugging. “I don’t know. Maybe I figured you wouldn’t want to be with a guy like me. I mean, the people you were friends with were nothing like me. And we never really saw eachother that much… I just ran out of time.”

“Ran out of time?”

“Well, you know.” He says, smirking. “The whole sworn enemies thing we had going on for some reason.”

Steve meant it as a joke, but your breath hitches and you shift in your spot, eyes darting away from him in a flash of hurt.

“Wait, no, I didn’t mean-” He tries, but you shake your head.

“It’s okay.” You dismiss, leaning forward. It wasn’t okay, though. It was a subject you’ve been avoiding ever since you found out Steve lost a lot of his childhood memories to deliberate punches and infuriating concussions.

But maybe you needed to stop avoiding the truth. The secret was only keeping a barrier between you, one you had cherished a long time ago but… everything was different now. It was time.

“I know you don’t remember.” You say quietly, watching how the red sky reflects against the water, making it crimson in its wake. “And that’s okay. I mean, it was a long time ago, but… but part of me wishes you did.”

Because I hate to be the one to remind you, you thought, knowing that once Steve caught a glimpse of the person he was in the past, it would eat him up inside.

“Do you remember Dan Shelter?” You ask, looking up at him. He frowns in confusion, unsure where this was heading, but he nods regardless. “The summer before freshman year, he asked me out on a date, wanted to take me to a movie or something. And I said yes.”

Steve watches how you keep your fingers busy, mindlessly twisting around a loose thread at the bottom of the jacket you were wearing, avoiding his eyes completely. He couldn’t remember a single detail of what you were talking about and yet he knows he and Dan would hang out almost all the time in the beginning years of high school.

“What happened?” He asks, feeling like he was holding his breath for far too long, afraid of the ending.

“Nothing.” You shrug, finally looking at him. “He stood me up. Part of me figured he would. He didn’t really seem that into it when he asked, I was just… I was so happy for a minute knowing someone had picked me, you know? The weird police girl. But I waited outside the theatre for an hour that day until my dad eventually picked me up and took me home.”

“I don’t…”

“I know.” You nod, sending him a reassuring smile. “But, I, um… I did see him again. At the arcade. I was there with Robin, actually. Yeah, we, uh, we managed to escape our parents for the day and just spent all our money playing stupid games. It was fun. And then I spot Dan trying to beat some high score and I felt so embarrassed at first. But then I thought, why the hell am I the one embarrassed? He was the jerk, not me.”

“So I went over.” You continue, returning to fiddle with the hem of your jacket. “I asked him up front, why didn’t he show up for our date? But, as it turns out, he wasn’t alone. Tommy and some others showed up, teasing, asking him if I was telling the truth. And he just… he laughed. Told me I was ‘freaky’, that I had been stalking him.”

“Why would he do that?” Steve shakes his head and you tighten your lips.

“Because that’s how guys like that became likeable.” You say bitterly, “It only got worse after that. They all started calling me names, laughing in my face. Robin told me to leave, and I should’ve, but I wasn’t going to stand there and take it. I told Dan he was a liar, that he wishes a girl would care enough to stalk him. And then someone else stepped forward.”

You take a deep breath, meeting Steve’s eyes. “He said it was all true. And that I… I had done it to him. That I was some crazy stalker obsessed with boys to the point where I had tried to throw myself at him. And even though they were false accusations, obviously everybody believed him over me.”

“Who…” He asks before he notices how your face twists, turning away from him once again. His stomach churns.

“You said that.” You say quietly, and his heart sinks. He ruined your life, and it wasn’t even an interaction he bothered to remember. “I didn’t even know why, either. I just remember after that, Tommy and Carol starting spreading the rumours, even attaching a whole story to it about us at Lover’s Lake and me going all crazy because you didn’t like me back or some shit. Everyone started calling it-”

“The date.” Steve finishes and you whip your head toward him, eyebrows furrowed. Nancy had told him all he needed to know, and he had chosen not to believe it could be true. But it was, and he hated himself for it.

“Yeah.” You nod, biting your lip. “I… I didn’t really make many friends after that. ‘The date’. They all assumed I was trying to use them to get to boys, that I was some kind of freak. After a while I just gave up trying to convince anyone any different. I already had enough to deal with, I just…. I stopped caring.”

“I can’t believe I forgot about that.” Steve says and you start to shake your head.

“No, you’ve- you’ve been through a lot, I don’t-”

“It doesn’t change what I did.” He interrupts, looking at you with determination. “Back then, I- I was so obsessed with everyone liking me, with fitting in with, god, Tommy and Dan… I would say literally anything to make me their friend. I did say literally anything.”

You watch as Steve’s face scrunches in disgust, burying it in his hands and mumbling into them. “I can’t believe I did that.”

“It was a long time ago, now.” You try and he runs his hands through his hair, straightening back up.

“I am so so sorry, Y/n.” He says with such conviction you knew it was true. You just never thought you’d hear those words ever leave King Steve’s lips. And you were partially right. Because the boy sat beside you, holding your hand and begging for your forgiveness, wasn’t King Steve anymore.

“I forgive you.” You give him a small smile, squeezing his hand.

“Really?” He frowns. Something heavy in his chest was lifting. Three small words that held heavy significance were giving him a peace he was unfamiliar with. After last year, he had assumed he was on the path to forgiveness for his old self, knowing he would have years to redeem. He figured as long as he proved himself, he wouldn’t need to hear those little words. But he did. He really did.

“Steve.” You raise your eyebrow, a smirk playing on your lips. “I literally just made out with you in a cheap motel bathroom yesterday.”

A smile stretches onto his face, a rouge tint hitting his cheeks. “You mean you don’t do that with all the boys you’re stuck in the Upside Down with?”

“Only the ones I’ve forgiven.” You shrug and he dramatically holds his hand to his heart, making you laugh.

After a moment, he wraps his arm around you and pulls you closer, resting his head against yours as you smile against his touch.

“Thank you. For forgiving me.” He mumbles into your hair and you pull away, looking up at him with such adoration, he felt the tips of his ears turn pink under your gaze.

Your hand reaches up to brush your fingers against his cheek, holding your breath. He brings himself closer and your eyes flutter shut, feeling his lips brush against yours until you commit fully, your hands slipping around his neck like he would slip away.

The kiss wasn’t the same as it was the first time. There wasn’t any hesitation or urgency. It was just simply sweet, all of your senses consumed by Steve and Steve only. His heart found its rhythm with yours, everything else washing away into a stream of his happiness.

And, when you pull away, he’s still chasing your lips, eyes closed and cheeks red. It was the second time he has ever kissed you, and he already craved a million more.

“Steve?”

“Yeah.”

“Look.”

He opens his eyes to find your worried ones staring back, tilting your head to the water. He turns his gaze over to the quarry, his eyebrows furrowing.

A red glow was starting to blare through, casting the quarry in a scarlet hue. It was beaming from the middle, just as you said it would, like a living, breathing heart.

You both slowly stand, moving closer to the edge with heavy chests. This was finally it. This was the escape.

“Guys, the gate just showed.” Lucas’ voice blares out into the dark from the ground beside you. You reach down to grab the radio and hold it to your lips.

“We see it.”

“You have around 5 minutes to get through before it shuts off for good.”

“It’s all we need.” Steve nods, looking at you. “I’m gonna dive down a little, just enough to get a look and see if it’s big enough.”

He pulls off his jacket, knowing it would only weigh him down in the long run. Letting it fall beside him, he moves to the edge until he feels your hand on his arm, making him turn back to your worried gaze.

“Be careful.” You say and he smiles at you, giving you a smile salute before finally diving down in perfect form.

The water engulfs him like a warm blanket, shocking his senses as he prepared for the cold. But it didn’t feel any different from his swimming pool at home, his legs kicking out and driving him further down the quarry. He followed the red light, his eyes adjusting to the gate that lay at the bottom. It looked like some sort of thick membrane was blocking his view to the other side, but he took that as a positive. It meant nothing was bleeding out into the other side.

After about twenty seconds of you shifting on your feet, Steve resurfaced just a few metres away, presumably directly above the gate. Once he spotted where he had left you, he grins.

“We’re good.” He calls out, shaking water droplets from his hair and extending his arm as an invitation. “No pressure, but… it’s now or never.”

You nod, taking a deep breath. No pressure. You were just going to dive into this suspicious body of water in hopes of breaking through a gate that lay at the very bottom of the quarry. And you had limited time to do it. No pressure at all.

You dump your bag and your jacket, neither of which you would need on the surface. Hopper would surely be heading to Sattler’s Quarry now to take you both far away from here. Home.

As you ready yourself to jump, you look up to ensure you’d be swimming in the right direction when your eye catches something on the other side of the quarry, making you squint into the darkness. Your heart jumps.

The red glow from the gate was making the water a little clearer, making everything look scarily like blood. But that wasn’t really the terrifying part.

A dark shape was moving in the water.

And it was heading directly for Steve.

“Get out of the water.” You say, completely numb. He frowns at you, and finally your voice rises. “Steve, get out right now!”

Swivelling his head around, he’s confused at your outburst and trying to find what you were staring at. And then he sees it, something big. He wasn’t alone in the water.

“Shit.” He breathes out, immediately starting to swim towards you.

There is a big distance between you and where he started in the middle, your voice almost alien to yourself as you continuously cried out.

“Steve! Come on, just a little more!” You keep shouting, hoping your words would somehow bring him to you faster. It’s gaining on him, but he’s so close.

You’re reaching over the edge, arms held out ready to pull him out. You can almost brush your fingertips against his. Just a few more arm strokes towards you until the water would splash your face and he’d be in your arms-

The water shifts directly behind him.

And then he’s gone.

You’re just left alone, screaming into the darkness.

“STEVE!”

Chapter Sixteen: The Pattern ->

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[beth--b]

The day started out normal enough.

Steve drove Robin to school, then went and did the open shift at Family Video.

Keith was a dick, the morning dragged on and Steve was counting down the minutes until he could clock out.

At least it was Friday.

As the day minutes and hours slowly crept by, Steve began to feel off.

He wasn't quite sure what was wrong exactly, he just knew he didn't feel quite right.

Nevertheless he continued on with his shift, watching the minutes tick by on the clock.

Finally he was done.

Pushing his sweaty hair off his face Steve clocked out, waved absently to Keith, and walked out into the warm Summer air.

Maybe that was the issue, he was too warm. Wouldn't be that surprising if Keith had turned down the air conditioning in the store just to be an asshole. That would explain why he was so warm, would explain the weird feeling in his stomach too.

Deciding that was the problem Steve headed to his car so he could go pick Robin up from school.

The drive to the high school was uneventful and Steve pulled into the parking lot just as the bell rang and students starting pouring out.

He rubbed at his eyes, he was wrecked but he had Robin, Eddie and the rest of the party coming over for movie night so after he picked Robin up they had to run past the store to grab snacks.

"Hey dingus, I see you survived the day at work without me,” Robin said as she practically threw herself into the passenger seat, throwing her bag onto the backseat.

"Hey Robs, sure did. I wasn't even mean to Keith once.”

"Holy shit that is impressive. Eddie wanted me to tell you he'd be ‘round with the kids about 5. We getting snacks now or later?”

"Now. Once I'm home I'd rather not go out again.”

"Sure thing, Melvad's it is then.”

Steve just nodded, putting the car in drive and pulling out of the school parking lot.

Robin started chatting away about what happened at school that day while Steve mostly just hummed every now and then and nodded when it seemed appropriate.

Honestly as long as people were leaving Robin, Eddie and the kids alone, Steve couldn’t care less about who was dating who and who was going to what college. Robin and Eddie, not to mention Nancy, were all about to graduate in a few short weeks. Eddie had been granted an exception on his absences while healing in the hospital and would finally graduate as the ‘hero of Hawkins’ after the feds spun a story that painted Eddie as the good guy who rescued Max from a serial killer.

He’d only been back at school a week and thankfully nobody had bothered him. After all the shit that had happened just a few short months ago Steve was nothing but happy for the guy. Their newfound relationship status might have something to do with that happiness as well.

Right now he wasn’t feeling very happy. Honestly that weird off feeling he had earlier was getting worse. His stomach was aching, nothing too terrible just enough to be uncomfortable, and he still felt too warm. Not to mention the fact he felt like he could happily pull over and have a nap in the middle of the afternoon. He didn’t know what was wrong with him today but he couldn’t let it ruin the night.

They all needed a night to just hang out and relax and he wasn’t going to let that fact that he was feeling a little out of sorts stop ruin the night.

He let Robin steer them through Melvad’s when they made it there, followed her lead on snacks and threw in just a few of the others favourite things, Max’s favourite chips and Eddie’s favourite chocolate bar.

Before he was really aware of it they were getting back in the car, Steve wincing as he sat back down.

Of course Robin would notice.

“You alright there dingus?” The words seemed normal enough, but he could see the concern in her eyes when he turned to look at her. He hated to see Robin worry, so Steve decided he needed to reassure her.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m alright, just moved wrong I guess.”

She looked doubtful for a brief moment before rolling her eyes. “Turning into an old man before my very eyes.”

“Hardy har har. Laugh it up. You’ll be a high school graduate soon too, and then you’ll be seen as a boring old adult just like me.”

She smacked his shoulder, “You take that back! I will not be boring or old! Anyway I’ll always be younger than you!”

The drive back to his place was short enough and soon they were getting out of the car and taking the snacks into the house. He’d already stocked up on beer for him and Eddie, Robin too if she wanted and grabbed some soda for the kids. They just needed to order some pizzas later and they’d be set.

They settled on the couch and turned on the TV, Robin rifling through the movie selection and picking one at random. She put it into the VRC and pressed play before moving back to sit on the couch.

By this point Seve was feeling quite sore. His side was hurting in a dull but persistent way and he would honestly have gone and climbed into bed if he could.

He needed to wake himself up before Eddie and the kids arrived.

“Hey Robbie, I’m gonna go take a shower before everyone else gets here. You good here?”

She nodded absently, caught up in whatever movie she’d put on. Steve honestly had no idea what they were even watching. He’d been paying no attention at all.

Standing up proved to be a bigger chore than it should have been and he found himself holding his side as he hauled himself off the couch.

Robin glanced at him, but before she could say anything Steve managed to get himself up and quickly headed out of the room and upstairs. He wasn't sure what was wrong but he was starting to wonder if there was more to it than he first thought.

xxxx

Steve took his time in the shower. By the time he'd made it up the stairs and to his room he felt nauseous and his side was throbbing. He really hoped he wasn't getting a stomach bug.

So in hopes that a nice long shower would help ease the pain he stayed under the warm spray far longer than he normally would if Robin was over. He was tempted to sit down on the floor but he was just a little worried he wouldn't be able to get back up again.

Eventually he convinced himself to turn the water off. Eddie would be there soon, which meant the kids would also be there soon. He needed to get the snacks organised, and grab some extra pillows and blankets so everyone could get comfortable while they watched movies.

He stepped out of the shower, wincing as he bent down to dry his lower body.

Seriously, what the hell was wrong with him today?

He threw on the easiest to manage sweatpants he could find, pairing it with a worn out shirt of Eddie's that had been left behind at some point in the past. Dressed, though still feeling like shit, he made his way back downstairs.

As he reached the last step he had to pause, holding his side trying to ease the pain, he stood for a moment just trying to breathe through the pain.

"Finally!” Robin called. I was starting to think I'd need to send out a search party. What took you so long? Actually, on second thought, don't answer that.”

He couldn't bring himself to answer, instead focusing on walking to the living room while his side ached and throbbed.

As soon as he made it to the couch he all but collapsed onto the seat.

Robin had looked ready to make another joke about how long he had taken until she actually looked at him.

"Ok Steve, what the fuck is going on with you? I thought you'd just had a bad day, but there's something else. Spill.”

Knowing there was no point lying, and feeling too awful to even try, he settled for a version of the truth.

"Just feeling a bit off. Maybe I should just go to bed and then you, Eds and the kids can watch movies without me. I don't want to get anyone sick”

Robin frowned before leaning closer and pressing the back of her hand to his forehead.

"Hmm, you do feel kinda warm.”

Before she could say anything else they heard the front door opening, followed immediately by Dustin loudly arguing with Mike about whether or not pineapple belonged on pizza.

Momentarily given an out, Steve stood and headed to the front door.

At least he tried.

The pain when he stood was enough to take his breath away, leaving him gasping as he pushed a hand against his right side. Robin quickly stood as well hovering nearby, hands out as though she wanted to touch but was too scared to do so.

Dustin, Mike, Lucas and Will all walked in to see Steve pale and grasping his right side while Robin looked ready to burst into tears.

The four younger teens all stopped in their tracks causing Eddie, who had been the last through the door, to run into Will's back.

"What the hell baby Byers? Why'd you-”

"Steve!” Dustin cried out, cutting Eddie off.

"Steve? Shit, Steve!” Eddie shoved the kids out of the way, rushing to Steve's side and wrapping an arm around him. Eddie helped Steve back onto the lounge before kneeling in front of him. With Steve still trying to get his breathing under control he turned to Robin for answers. "Robin. What the fuck is wrong with Steve?”

Robin bit her bottom lip, glancing between Eddie and Steve.

"I don't know. He said he was feeling a little off and he felt like he might have had a temperature, but I don't really know anything more.”

"Ok. Ok, Steve? Stevie? You with me now?”

Steve gave a low groan, looking up at Eddie through the hair that fallen over his face.

Eddie took in Steve's flushed cheeks and otherwise pale face. He took note of where Steve was clutching at his right side. He was pretty sure he knew the problem, had his own scar to remind him, faded and pink years after the surgery. But he remembered how he felt before Wayne had taken him to the hospital. Before he had his appendix out. Decision made he pressed a kiss to Steve's clammy forehead before standing back up and heading to the house phone in the kitchen.

He ignored the kids' worried chattering and called the only adult he really trusted.

The phone rang once, twice before Wayne's familiar voice answered.

"Hey Wayne, I gotta be quick but I think Steve has appendicitis. I just want to check I'm remembering right.”

Wayne cursed before telling Eddie to list the symptoms.

"I just got here, but he's holding his right side and can hardly move from the pain, he's feverish and Robin said he mentioned he wasn't feeling well.”

"Yep son, sounds about right. You gonna be alright to get 'im to the hospital? I can meet you there.”

Eddie nodded before remembering Wayne couldn't see him. "Yeah, yeah. I'll get him there. We'll leave soon. Thanks Wayne.”

Eddie put the phone back in its cradle, pushed past the gaggle of worried teenage boys, plus Robin, and went straight back to Steve's side.

"Steve, baby, I'm about 99% sure you have appendicitis. We gotta get you to the hospital alright?”

Steve moaned and shook his head but Eddie just sat beside him and wrapped an arm around his waist, careful to avoid the area Steve was still holding.

"Sorry sweetheart, not up for negotiation.” Without looking away from Steve, Eddie called out to the kids. "Dustin, call your Mom. let her know I'm taking Steve to the hospital and ask her to come take you lot home. Robin, I assume you're coming with me?”

"Of course,” she replied as Dustin rushed from the room.

He appeared moments later and confirmed his Mom was on her way and he'd lock up so Eddie could leave. “Just look after Steve please Eddie.”

"Thanks Dustin. Children listen to Mrs Henderson and be good. I gotta go get your babysitter seen to.”

With much coaxing Eddie and Robin managed to get Steve to his feet and slowly made their way to Eddie's van, Lucas running ahead to open doors for them.

By the time they got Steve into the van, with a pit stop to throw up in the bushes on the way, Steve was sweaty and struggling to stay upright.

Robin jumped in the back and Eddie into the driver's seat and they were off. They passed Mrs Henderson on the way down the street and Eddie idly wondered how long until Dustin was waiting at the hospital with them.

By the time they reached Hawkins General, Steve was quietly crying while holding on to Eddie's hand whenever he didn't need it for driving. It seemed that Wayne had made it there first because he'd only just jumped out of the driver’s side door when a nurse came out with a wheelchair.

"Eddie Munson with Steve Harrington?” she questioned.

"Yes, thank you.”

She turned and opened the passenger door, asking Steve some questions and probing at his abdomen. He cried out as she reached his right side and she nodded to herself.

"Alright Eddie, we need to get your friend out of the car. Can you help?”

"Of course, just tell me what to do.”

Between the two of them they get Steve out of the car and into the wheelchair. The nurse had sent Robin inside to start to help Wayne with the paperwork and then once Steve was situated they followed her inside.

Thankfully it wasn't too busy and Steve was taken straight to triage.

They got him into a bed quickly and gave him some morphine for the pain. A cannula was put into the back of Steve's hand and then he was briefly taken away for an ultrasound. Eddie paced nervously the whole time and wondered if Robin knew what was going on out in the waiting room.

Finally a doctor came and confirmed that Steve did have appendicitis and would be headed to surgery shortly.

Once the doctor was gone Eddie pulled the curtain closed and pulled Steve into a careful hug.

"See you after surgery sweetheart. I love you.”

With the morphine working to relieve the pain Steve was able to hug Eddie back, pressing slightly uncoordinated kisses to Eddie's cheek.

"Hmm love you too Eds. Will you be here when I wake up?”

"Course I will. Me and Robbie. I'll let her know what's happening and we will see you a little later.”

Eddie pressed a soft kiss to Steve's lips, then another, before he pulled away.

Then somebody came to transfer Steve to another bed, Eddie gave him a wave goodbye and went out to the waiting room.

"Is Steve ok? What's happening?” Robin grabbed his arm and pulled him over to where she’d been sitting as soon as he had walked through the door.

"He will be. He's gone for surgery. We'll see him in a few hours. Just one rogue organ down.”

Robin practically collapsed back into one of the hard plastic chairs that seemed to grace every hospital in the country. “Oh holy shit I was so scared. How did you know what was wrong?”

Eddie just pulled his shirt up, revealing his own appendectomy scar. “Been there and done that Rob.” Eddie sat down beside Robin and she lay her head on his shoulder. The two of them settled in for a long wait.

XXX

The next few hours passed fairly uneventfully. Wayne called Claudia Henderson and gave her an update, letting her know Eddie would call when Steve was out of surgery and could have visitors. They bought a few snacks from the vending machine but mostly they just sat and waited.

When Steve was finally out of recovery and in a room Eddie and Robin were allowed to sit in there and wait for him to wake properly. He had apparently woken once in recovery but had fallen asleep again soon after.

Trading in one set of uncomfortable chairs for another, the pair settled in to wait for Steve to wake up.

After what felt like an age, but had probably only bene another half hour or so, Steve’s eyes blinked open.

“Hey sleepy head,” Eddie said, moving to Steve’s side and kissing his cheek.

“Eds? Hi,” Steve still sounded half asleep but Eddie was honestly just happy to see him awake.

Robin moved around to Steve’s other side and gave him a light punch on the arm, ignoring Steve’s ‘ow’ and instead leaning over to hug him. “Don’t scare me like that again dingus!”

“Ok Robs. I’ll try.”

Robin rolled her eyes and hugged him again before pulling back.

“Ok I’ll go update Henderson and your other children. Behave while I’m gone!” She turned and left the room leaving Steve and Eddie alone.

“Hey baby how are you feeling?” Eddie brushed Steve’s hair back off his forehead, before bringing his hand back down and clutching at Steve’s own.

“Not sure. Sore I think, can't really tell yet. Mm tired still.”

“Ok Stevie, get some sleep. Love you.”

“Love you too Eds.”

[mintmatcha]

Minty I’m living for baby daddy Touya omg. Im so curious tho. Like we can see that he’s trying so hard to do right by his daughter but obviously he still is deep into crime and everything. Why does reader let him see their daughter if they know what he does. Maybe they don’t know?

Your daughter is sleeping, so the fight is quiet. It bubbles, thick and volatile, just as emotionally draining as any screaming match. In fact, the hushed tones are almost worse because every word feels careful, planned and thoughtful.

"You're not keeping me away from my own damn kid." Touya spits, eyes narrowed in disgust. He's standing on the shredded legal papers you handed him, asking him to sign away parental rights. "She's my kid."

"She's our child." you shoot back, "And you're barely in her life."

"And who's fault is that?" he scoffs, then scoffs again, twisting his dirty heel into the paper once again and leaving a track mark upon them, "Because it's not mine. I'd be here every damn day if you would just-"

"You know why you can't be!"

"Holy shit," Touya runs his hands through his hair so hard that it pulls his forehead taut, "There's plenty of people beggin' their baby daddies to be more involved and yet you're pushing yours away! What is your fuckin' problem?"

"I'm trying to protect her."

"Protect her? Protect her? From what? Me?"

"Yes!" your voice cracks, so you turn in your heel to hide your expression. Touya's boot thud closer as you retreat, going no where and anywhere, "From you and the shit you do and the people you work with and the fucking consequences of everything-"

"Listen- listen!" Touya catches you by the wrist and jerks you back to him hard, slamming you back into his chest. When you squirm in his grasp, he holds on tighter, free arm slipping around your waist to keep you in place, visibly seething. "Fuckin' cool it for one goddamn second."

He waits until you stop fussing to continue, head dipped low enough your noses touch. The anger has drained from his face, replaced with an eerily calm expression.

"I love her," he whispers, "Fuck, I love her even more than I even love you, so if you think I would ever do anything to put her in harm's way- you're wrong."

Touya's bangs tickle against your forehead and his breath is soft against your lips. The down-turned lid of his eyes, heavy with sincerity. "She's our baby."

Your chest expands with every pant, ears ringing with the pressure of stress, thrumming through your head. "Tell me you're done."

"What?" He draws back slightly.

"Tell me you're done with breaking the law. Tell me you're not going to get involved in that shit anymore." Despite yourself, you cling to him. The shape of him under your palms is painfully familiar: a reminder that he was once yours without conditions, "Tell me you're going to behave like a good, normal dad, Touya."

It takes a moment before he responds. "Yeah. I'm done."

"Say it like you mean it." you plead, whisper breathless and fragile, "At least make me believe it when you lie."

"I'm done." Touya pulls you closer, "I'm done."

You don't believe him. Not fully. "You'd break her heart if anything ever happened to you."

"I know."

"Tell me one more time."

"I'm done. For her." His hands are warm on your hips, "For you. I'm done for good."

His words are sweet enough that you swallow them down without question. You know better-- you know him, but you let him fool you anyway. "Okay."

Touya folds over you, head in your shoulder as he sighs with relief, but his touch is still horribly tight. "Don't you ever pull that shit again. Don't ever threaten to take my babies away again."

"Babies?"

"Yeah," he grumbles into your skin, "You're my baby too. Don't forget it."

[em0puppy]

i really don't normally do these things but i've been starting to feel just a teensy bit guilty about not being the sappy type lol and i got this urge at 1 am this morning while in a coffee-driven all-nighter and decided fuck it (this is a repeating factor in decisions i make. send help.)

so here's a small lil list of amazing people i'm genuinely overjoyed to be friends or even just moots with <3

yes im copying brookie bite me /silly

stuff under cut cuz this is gonna be long lol

@mischiefburns - my darling husband first of course !! <3 half joking marriage aside i'd say you're one of my closest friends - even if we've only known each other for just a few months. you're just the right amount of gentle and still know when to put your foot (er, claw-bug-thing) down, and i admire that about you. you know when to stop when boundaries are set up and to not push those, and you're not afraid to enforce your own, something i constantly fail to do (• ▽ •;) i love how open you are about yourself and how caring you care <3 ilysm !! mmmmwah :3 (im trying to get better at regretevator i promise)

@bluginkgo - first things first if you disagree with anything here i will punt you. (/silly /hj) you're so endearing, and your little emoticons never fail to make me smile. the message you sent me the other week really helped a lot, and your reaction spamming when i post art really does help with my motivation !! you're one of the most wholesome people i've ever met, and when your discord pfp changes to your sona with a bandaged leg i get worried for you. i love seeing your discussions in the nuzi server or your art popping up on my dash because HOLY SHIT YOU'RE GIFTED I TELL YOU !!!! like your nuzi fankid exploded my final 0.3 braincells i have left in the absolute best way but i'll save that speech for another time <3

@noridoorman - HIIIII MOM >:3 (i hope this tag is ok!! lmk if it's not <3) you're literally the second person i thought of when writing the idea down for this fhsfeesfigr. i love hanging out with you in VC and watching your stream or you drawing or listening to you and doomed voice ace attorney and you threatening to throw certain people (brookie and blu specifically) out windows or grab them by the scruff is literally the highlight of my day and never fails to make me laugh. you're so kind and funny and i'm sorry i can't share your love of k-pop 😔 (/silly) TRYING TO CATCH UP ON CINNAMON SCENT TOO BUT THE ADHD IS LIKE NUH UH </33

@brookiedaaroacecookie - im claiming you and miko as my siblings we can be triplets (/hj /nf) BUT SERIOUSLY THO i view you as my younger sibling and i love hanging out with you <3 you officiating mischief and mine's (GRR OFC IT WAS REAL /silly) wedding will forever be a memory i'll keep and tell to my grandkids in sixty something years or something like that idfk. i still have your little tag thing screenshotted and i'm sorry i can't tell the difference between french toast and grilled cheese </3 (/silly) also whats keats and why do you always laugh at it or was that an autocorrect thing /silly but also /gq

@spinnydraws - DFUHERFGRGIE I KNOW WE'VE ONLY BEEN MOOTS FOR LIKE. A WEEK AND A HALF OR SOMETHING IDK. BUT. HEAR ME OUT. already i view you as a friend and i'm extremely grateful to be moots with you! you're extremely funny and kind, and when you like or reblog my art i ascend to heaven. everytime i see your art i explode all over again even if i've already exploded not five minutes ago. AND WHY ARE YOU LITERALLY SO N. LITERALLY. WAHT. (/vpos) BUT LIKE. honestly you're a big comfort of mine already (i have a problem of wanting to be besties with literally every n kinnie out there. uzi kintype noises.) and i'd love to get to know you more !! <3

@nuzilicious - i refuse to give up trying to make you undislike me. until then all u get is ur awesome and im extremely thankful u havent blocked and banned me!!!!!! /silly /j

@uzibrainrot - omg what do i even say. you're so wholesome and so goofy and i loved roleplaying md with you on roblox even if it was just for a bit and if you wanna do it again sometime i'd absolutely love to!!!! i know we don't interact much but when we do it's awesome !! i promise the art trade is almost done i promise promise promise shhdshjdshfh. ALSO WHEN YOU WANNA WORK ON THAT VOLL CRACKFIC TOGETHER LMK!!! :DDD!!

i would @ andy but idk his tumblr so um. andy if you see this, you're not only one of the kindest most woke and most funny beings on this planet (i've never seen a cishet guy do a colon three it's literally so funny HELP /lhj /gen), but also a mind-blowingly awesome mc player !! :DD

ok i must disappear into the void to take care of my cramps (ew) so im gonna die now but ily all sm and hope you're all doing MORE than great !!! :DD!!!!! (/p /gen) explodes and dies in the grand canyon. or something. idk i need to stop exploding.

[fallenclan]

**FC IM GOING TO LOSE MY FUCKING MARBLES.** GOD... GOD!!!! CYCLES!!!

LEOPARD ANON HOLY FUCKING SHIT. TAKING THIS IN MY JAWS. SPECULATION INCOMING - TAKING A BIT TO TYPE. HAVE YET TO VOTE. SPINNING IT IN MY HEAD A BIT.

Notably, interestingly, maybe - Otterslip is the son of a former leader and a respected deputy, the former apprentice of the current deputy, and by all accounts a good mentor. I feel like he'd be seen as a fairly respected warrior. If this *did* come to light? I think it would shake up the clan very, very badly. Expose a rot growing in the core of their clan - not only that, but in the heart of a well-respected, and more importantly, well-beloved warrior. I could go on a whole tangent here about how evil is not something black and white and how people are flawed and how it is SO delightfully interesting to have someone like Otter who we've known and loved so long do something like this. Because this *doesn't* cancel out the rest of that, he's still that cat who's adored, who's suffered hardship and helped others weather it, who comforted his apprentice when she felt unworthy.

And he still killed someone - a *medicine cat,* of his own clan - because he felt he had a right to, and he felt it was deserved. And because his mother did the same, moons and moons ago. He lashed out in pain and fury and a refusal to face the truth, and did something horrible and irreversible for it.

Hm. Still typing what I actually meant to send. But I can hand you this speculation, at least, without the research.

- What do you think Scorchstar felt, looking down at this? Regret? Not even for her actions, necessarily, I doubt things between her and Sunwish will ever be truly okay in the stars, but for the *precedent* they set? For what her son, who's grown so well in her absence, but never abandoned his soft-hearted, unerring belief in his mother, took from it? She's clearer of mind, up here. Does she dread the results of his actions?

- Do you think clouds covered the sky, overlooking them on that cliff-face? A storm that may have been brewing in the distance all day, coming to fruit above them in deadly silence? Do you think Otterslip cared about the eyes upon him - about Silverpelt's doubtless disapproval? Or did he wait to act in the sun's scornful gaze, instead?

- Do you think it rained, on his walk back? Sorry I've just got the image of like. A three day storm, or something, just enough to haunt him. Starclan's wrath or a mournful goodbye or the insistence of a truth that refuses to go unheard. All three, maybe, depending on who you ask... I wonder if it would wash away the blood, or not.

- How Sunwish felt, looking down...

- .

- I think it's a feeling she remembers all too well.

SORRY. Normal. & DO NOT EXPECT YOU TO HAVE ANSWERS TO ALL OF THESE (head in hands embarrassed) HAHA KNOW IT IS BUT LITTLE PIXEL GAME... BUT TH!! MAN. GOD. CIRCLES...

(fun fact. Every medicine cat since Sunwish, sans Eaglestripe, has been at some point righteous.) (- 🐈‍⬛)

LITERALLY ALL OF THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! like. i absolutely adore the moral grayness of it all. and the fucking Parallels..... cant articulate my thoughts all that well rn but like. i am Thinking about the stuff with Otterslip being a cat that We Watched Grow Up!!!!!! we saw him as a little baby cat and we saw him become an apprentice and then a warrior and we saw him love and lose and grow and. he fuckin whips around and murders??? and . idk i'm Thinking. i had to look back to all the old art of him and it's like. this is a murderer. he murdered someone.