#I'm late to the party but better late than never haha

[livthecreative]

saw the worldwide miku trend and after making a Jacaranda Miku I wanted to make a miku themed after australian wattles. This features inspo from both sunshine wattle and box leafed wattle, they're such cute and round flowers.

I had a larger illustration planned with a different outfit design but that'll need more work.

[bunny-jpeg]

Can I get a sourdough bread and martini with Lando Norris 😻💞

bakery menu

want to suggest your own order? the bakery is open!! please feel free to check out the options! i do more than just formula one so hit me with it! thank you for this request, this was right after another lando mafia au, haha. i'm glad that people can see the vision of mafia!lando, but this is with a nice little breeding kink! thank you! thank you!

sourdough bread ("i'm going to breed you.") + martini (mafia au) served by lando norris (formula one)!!

cw: smut/pwp, mafia!au, mafia!lando, breeding kink, husband/wife, missionary, pregnancy

you could see your husband's gaze from across the table. it was saturday night and while most were out partying. the two of you were at home, enjoying each other's company.

lando was going to be out of the country for a week and you were to stay at home. he hated leaving you, but sadly you were just too precious to be around such a dangerous situation.

"they'd scoop you right up and if they hurt you, love. there is no hell or heaven that could stop me from getting you back." he said earlier in the meal.

lando norris was the darling son of the mclaren family, while there was still much to learn before he could be the head of the family, he knew whatever may come could be dealt with as long as you were by his side. his darling wife.

he could never get enough of you. loving you was a devouring feeling, something he needed to sink his teeth into. and lately he had a new itch to scratch.

a few weeks back, while at a small get together of the family. lando saw just how good you were with kids. you had a baby cousin on your hip as you got something to eat. it all came naturally and lando almost had to bite his fist.

"do you want this?" you asked the small child at your hip, "let's ask your mama to see if you can have m&m's." you giggled within lando's earshot.

lando sighed through his teeth, this new monster in him was starting to show its ugly head. he earned a pat on the back from oscar who didn't know exactly what lando's deal was. but could only be a supportive 'brother'.

"you gonna be alright?"

"oh yeah." lando said as he shifted in his seat, "perfectly fine." he wasn't making eye contact with oscar, rather watching you talk to the mother of the child you were holding. you were smiling with the child at your hip.

now over dinner, lando was still thinking about it. he got a good eye of your cleavage across the dinner table in the blouse you were wearing that was just a little open to give him a good view.

he swallowed, "you look beautiful." he said, "what's the occasion?"

you looked down at your plate for a moment, "well. we've been married for two years. and well, i've been thinking."

lando stilled for a moment, "it's not a divorce right?" he knew that the risk of the lifestyle he lived could push you away.

you chuckled, "no, no. i made a promise to love you till i die. you're not getting rid of me that easily." you put your fork down, "i want to have a baby with you... i guess in a hotter way of saying it. i want you to breed me, lando norris."

he almost choked on his food, those blue eyes went wide as he swallowed what was in his mouth, "i mean... hell yeah, i will." he flashed you a smile.

you giggled at the sight of him, his reaction made something curl in your gut. despite it all, all the tattoos and scars. the fancy suits and quick thinking, he was still the lovable man you married. you said, "then i guess we'll skip dessert tonight."

being in love with the future of the mclaren family was interesting. you had heard stories about him and his 'brother' oscar, raised together to be the best of the best. the family was better to be headed by two rather than one.

but lando was your precious husband, even without the parade of mafia ties. you remembered when he gave you his umbrella on your first date and let himself get soaked. or when he figured out to make that specific pasta he threw together one night for you. he smelt warm and of home and you never met a man like him.

that was why it was so easy to strip for him in the low light of your shared bedroom. he was seated at the edge of the bed in his briefs as he watched you get out of your clothes. slowly the buttons of the blouse were undone, his eyes grazed the beautiful sight of you.

lando didn't believe in a heaven, but if he did it would be located between your breasts.

you eventually got out of your panties and finally your bra before you got into your husband's lap. your took his face in your hands and kissed at the side of his jaw.

he groaned under your touch, your soft hands on his skin were like worship as you kissed him. he felt so comfortable in your touch, he yearned for it when you were apart.

he loved you.

you straddled his waist and he wrapped his arms around your waist. the tattooed skin was a contrast against your bare skin. the most noticeable tattoo were your initials on the side of thumb on his left hand. when he was stressed he'd rub over the ink and be comforted by thoughts of you.

he kissed you on the lips and the kiss quickly deepened before he laid back on the bed, taking you with him. he continued to kiss you as he rolled you onto your back.

he wanted to look at you while he fucked you. his kisses and fingers trailed down your chest. he cupped your breasts and licked across your nipples. you moaned and felt the heat throb through your body. you looked at your husband and moaned a little bit.

he left a few small red marks across your chest before he got his briefs off. he said softly, "i'm going to breed you. just as you asked. give you that little norris baby you want." he groaned a little as he lined his cock up with your slit. he kissed his tip against your pussy lips.

"you make it sound hotter than i tried to." you chuckled softly and let out a sweet moan as he slowly sank his cock into you. he shuddered at the feeling and you got your arms around his strong neck.

"well, i can't deny my wife anything. if she wants a baby then she'll get it." lando groaned as he really pushed into you. his thrusts were firm, but not rough. he was trying to fuck the daylights out of you.

he wanted to admire his beautiful wife, he held you by the waist and kissed at your chest. his heart thumped in his ears as he moved against you. he started to kiss at your chest once more, he couldn't wait to see your pretty tits get bigger with pregnancy.

"you're gonna give me a pretty kid." he chuckled as he softly bit on your nipple, the feeling made you moan loudly. he groaned, "gonna be a proud mama of my brats." he pushed further into you. he crowded your space as he played with your nipple against his tongue.

you felt the throb of heat in your core. the idea of having a child with lando was erotic. it scratched an itch in the back of your brain. your big stronger protective hubby and you having a kid together.

you didn't want to admit but that idea of your heavily tattooed husband holding your chubby little baby so gently in his arms. it was so adorable that it made you feel heat all over.

"get me pregnant, lando. please, i want to have your baby."

"yeah, you want me to breed you. what a naughty thing to say." he chuckled as he moved against you, "make sure every last drop stays in your pretty pussy. that's where it's meant to be, right? inside of my pretty wife." he groaned.

"yes.' you panted, "fuck, i want you, my love."

"don't worry, ya got me forever, love. i'm not going anywhere. especially now that you want to have a family with me. gotta be there for me girl, and my kid." he chuckled as he moved against you.

the two of you kissed once more. you held onto his shoulders as his lips pressed yours. he still tasted like wine and the pasta you had for dinner. you moaned into his kiss as you felt his grasp on your hips.

"lucky to have you." he said softly, "lucky for all of my life."

he had everything when he was with you. you were everything and more to him. the wife he came home to, the lover he pleased and the girl he continued to fall in love with.

he was such a dangerous man, but with you. he was just so perfect. he loved you with such a devotion that he knew no other woman could take his heart.

he may be the head of a mafia family, but the little norris trio you'd eventually have would be headed by you. his equal, his lover. those who thought the term 'wife' meant less than could kiss the bottom of lando's steel-toed boots.

"i love you, lando. i'm lucky to have you as my husband." you panted.

"not as much as i am lucky to have you as my wife. i never knew that it was possible for a woman to be so beautiful but also make me laugh so much. you're everything i wanted." he purred as he continued to move. his lips on yours once more.

the kiss was sloppy and hot, you felt the thrill of excitement race through you as he moved against you.

you knew you were close, the feel of orgasm felt so strong in your body. you panted when you broke the kiss, but he pulled you in for another. you could feel his warmth around you.

"my girl."

"my lando." you purred. the pleasure was too much, it drove you to finishing.

you clutched onto him and clenched your legs around him. you gave him a wet kiss on his cheek. you climaxed with a loud moan, you tensed up for a moment before you relaxed.

it only spurred him to fuck you even faster. he felt a thrill in his body as he pushed in and out of you. his brain short wired when he gave a few more thrusts before he finished inside of you. he didn't pray often, but he prayed to whoever out there that you'd get pregnant.

if not, you two had a lot of time to have all the fun you needed in making a baby.

"i love you." he said as he laid on top of your for a moment, the weight of him felt good. it was a comforting bulk. you kissed his face softly as he panted on top of you. his cock was softening inside of you, but he wanted more.

"i love you too." your words only made him want you more.

he wanted to feel his wife all over again. make sure that his cum stuck to the inside of you. he wanted to make sure you had his babies asap. he get a small thrust and you once against wrapped your legs around him.

"someone likes that.' he said as he pulled away, he braced his arms on either side of you. he chuckled, "how about i clear my schedule for tomorrow, so we can have all of tonight to ourselves."

you were inclined to accept his offer.

-

you crossed your arms as you rested against the kitchen counter. your husband was making direct eye contact with your belly. you knew that he knew what he did was wrong.

"love, i'm sorry. i couldn't help myself. i know, i'm a horrible husband." he sighed as he dropped his head, "i'm so, so sorry."

you sighed, "lando. we made an agreement. you weren't supposed to do that. c'mon.

beside you on the counter was a small stack of pancakes. you had a craving for banana and chocolate chip pancakes. you had set some aside for lando, but your pesky husband thought that he could try and sneak another off of your plate.

lando was almost to his knees as he approached you and wrapped his arms around you, "i'm sorry my beautiful darling wife."he pouted at you, "no one makes them like you, i couldn't help myself."

you pushed his face away and sighed dramatically. you weren't even that upset, especially when your mafia husband gave you puppy dog eyes. you said with added drama, "your son is going to end up loving me more if you keep this up."

he whined, "no!!!" and pulled you into a tight hug once more. he peppered your face with kisses, "i'll make it up to you, i promise."

you took him by the face and pressed a soft kiss onto his lips, "well, if you go to the store now. you should have enough time to get everything for another batch." you winked at him.

before you had another second to think about it, lando was out the door with his keys in hand. anything for his wife, anything. <3

[forsworned]

No One Noticed ft. Hesh Walker

Synopsis: Feeling lonely and disconnected, you find solace in an online gaming forum where you meet Hesh, a war veteran who secretly works as an elite member of the Ghosts task force. Despite Hesh's initial tough exterior, he's soft for you and bonds through shared gaming experiences, late-night texts, and calls. Eager to bring their digital connection into the real world, You're convinced by your newfound virtual love to fly to his city to explore a potential relationship. Will your connection flourish or go to shit?

Warnings: Canon Game Violence, Canon Violence, Sexual Content, Phone Sex, Sexting, PnV sex, Cunninglingus, Blowjob, 9.8k words

Author's note: This song makes me so emotional and who better to write this for than my love, Hesh

If you could change anything, it would be your soul-sucking day job. Typing away at transcripts behind your desk is tedious, mind-numbing, and downright exhausting. You glance at the clock—it finally reads 4:30PM. A sigh of relief escapes you as you save your work and close the tab. The hum of your old office lamp and the clatter of your keyboard are the only sounds breaking the monotony. Your eyes ache from the screen's glare, and the cold air in the office makes the warmth of your couch even more inviting.

Ping!

The chat pop-up lights up your dim screen, and you feel a sudden rush of serotonin.

MyDawgRiley99: Your day been as shitty as mine?

A soft laugh escapes you as you read his message. Since joining a gaming lobby with a group of military guys during a late-night Fortnite session, you've found yourself playing with them almost every time they invite you. You never really pried into their daily lives; you were just looking to unwind. And yet, some nights, one of them would linger after the others had logged off, not to play, but simply to talk and unwind.

And over time, you began to savor the sound of his voice, finding comfort in its deep, resonant tone. You bite your bottom lip before typing away at your keyboard:

CtrlFreak: Seems like we're both in the trenches today.

As you're about to close out the tab, his reply bubble immediately appears, and you feel your spirits lift.

MyDawgRiley99: Long day at the office?

You scoff, shaking your head. Maybe you’re sharing too much with someone you’ve only met online, but you think to yourself, If he's half as sexy as he sounds, it should be okay, right? Right??

CtrlFreak: Like you wouldn't believe. I'm two seconds away from losing it.

MyDawgRiley99: Well, let's try to fix that. Same time?

You glance at your stack of requests and exhale sharply. Falling behind on deadlines and getting chewed out by your boss isn't your idea of relaxation, but for one night, just one freakin' night...

CtrlFreak: I really shouldn't...

MyDawgRiley99: Just one match?

You snort softly. You know what that means. One match turns into five, with hours of talking in between while you sit in the lobby. Sometimes, others join, and it’s nothing but a constant roast session that leaves you craving more genuine human interaction. It’s a vicious cycle.

CtrlFreak: I'll think about it. MyDawgRiley99: Haha, I'll be waiting for ya.

You shut your laptop and press your forehead against the warm alloy. The constant burnout of your job leaves you unfocused, fatigued, and jittery from all the espresso shots you need just to stay awake.

But you decide to join anyway. He immediately joins your party the moment you load into the lobby.

"Almost thought you wouldn't hop on tonight." His voice comes through your headset, instantly relaxing you.

The corners of your lips curl into a smile. "What can I say? You've tempted me."

He chuckles, and it's flirty, light, fun, and easy. In this moment, you want nothing more than to relish the escapism that comes from the unknown soldier on the other side of your screen. Amidst your grueling workday, his voice is like a coolness that soothes your burning heart, pulling you from the depths of mundanity into a world where conversation flows as smoothly as his laughter.

You tap on your controller, trying to control the strange desire stirring within you. You have no idea what he looks like—or what any of them look like, really.

Truthfully, you never bothered to ask for names. You referred to each other by the first initial of your real names. His being 'H.'

"You wanna talk about it?" The sound of him munching on chips comes through the speaker, causing you both to laugh. "My bad."

"All good. Nah, I'm just burned out." You readjust yourself on your sofa and lean back against the cushion, closing your eyes as you savor the sound of his smooth tenor.

"I get that. Trust me."

You feel that smile returning. "Right, right."

"Well," he begins, playfully defensive at your casual dismissal. "I'm just sayin'—"

Your laughter echoes through the headset, and he sighs, the smile on his face growing at your teasing. "Always gettin’ me worked up."

"You fall for it every time." You retort. Your mirth fades, and it's quiet for a moment. You tap at your controller again, playing with the joystick as your heart begins to race. There's almost a need to ask him to reveal himself to you. After all those nights dreaming about him, you find yourself yearning to know what he looks like.

"So," he clears his throat, shaking you out of your mild daze. "um, I don't want you to feel like you have to, but..."

You sit up a bit, feeling your throat go dry at his sudden change in tone. You can literally feel the tension through the connection.

"Well, I'm just kind of curious about, you know," his voice holds hesitation, an eagerness to pry. It creates a charged silence between you. The playful teasing shifts into something more earnest, and you can almost hear the curiosity in his tone as he tries to find the right words.

"Uh huh," you playfully taunt. You can tell where this is going, and you can't help but feel exhilarated at the thought of finally knowing what he looks like.

He chuckles, and it sends a thrill up your spine. "Uhhhh," he awkwardly laughs again, and you join in. The smile on your lips stretches broadly across your face, making your cheeks sore.

"I mean, we've been talking on here for months, so I'm just curious about how you look, you know?" He sighs. "Aren't you?"

You giggle at the apprehensiveness in his voice. "Seems like it's been weighing on your mind."

"Something like that." He clears his throat. "Obviously, it can stay this way. No pressure."

You scratch your head, feeling trepidation seeping into your bones. It isn't a now-or-never moment. You could simply say no or maybe another time, but you feel this irresistible pull from him. You think that even if he isn't the most attractive guy, it's not the end of the world...

"Okay." You simply say.

"Really!?" He exclaims, and you laugh at his enthusiasm. It's endearing, really. It's the lack of a social life that's really doing it for you. You think that maybe if you started going on Hinge again, you wouldn't have this problem of getting emotionally attached to men in Fortnite lobbies. But all of that falls into the back of your mind as you return to the present.

You're a bit tentative, but the words naturally come out. "Sure, I'm curious too." You breathe out, fiddling with the wire of your headphones between your fingers. There are dents from the hours you’ve spent on your console, talking to him during the late hours of the night.

"Yeah?" The way he says it sends a thrill up your spine again. You just know this man is sexy. Dammit.

"Yeah." You reply, almost reluctantly, as you walk over to your desktop and pull up your Discord server. Your cursor hovers over the video chat button, but he pings himself in, and you reflexively close the tab.

"What the fuck?" He laughs, and you crumble at his reaction, hiding your face in your hands.

Your heart pounds as you feel warmth crawl into your cheeks. "I'm sorry!"

He's still laughing at your reaction. You can't tell if it's because he thinks it's funny how quickly you exited or if he finds you as endearing as you find him.

"Are you shy?" He asks, still chuckling. You swallow thickly, not wanting to answer immediately. It's been far too long since you've been in the dating scene, and you’ve forgotten the simple pleasure of face-to-face flirting, reading the micro-expressions of the person across from you. To you, it was like a game—analyzing the strain on their face when you talk about your interests instead of your kinks, the bounce of their thighs when you're not throwing back sexual banter, or the way you check to see if they bear their teeth at you when they smile. It was easier knowing he was just a voice, but now it seems like he's reeling you in for more, and you find yourself struggling to say no.

You didn't want to deal with the high highs and the low lows anymore. The boring simplicity of a quiet relationship is what you craved, but a military man? That's tumultuous, grueling even. You didn't want to go back to nights of crying yourself to sleep over a man who refused to take your calls or reply to your texts because of their emotional distance and lack of therapy. But you're craving attention, and he's so willing to give it to you.

You groan at his reaction. "Fine," you grumble as you open the chat again and nibble your lip, lingering over the tab that shows he's active.

"No pressure," he teases, a hint of mischief in his tone. It's daring, and you’re no coward. You click the tab, joining the video call, and your heart races as you wait for it to load, stripping off your headset.

And then there he is, swaying in his gaming chair, his face lighting up when you enter the call.

"Oh shit," he grins, and you cover your mouth to hide the joy in your expression because he's fucking hot. The grittiness of the webcam blurs his handsome features, but you can still make out the sharpness of his jawline, the intensity of his viridian eyes, and the darkness of his short-cropped hair. He strokes the stubble on his cheeks, not even bothering to hide his obvious attraction. He's brunette, rugged, and attractive enough to make you want to buy a lottery ticket because you can't believe your luck. "What's up, girl?”

You feel the color drain from your face at his tone, and you quickly wave in the most awkward fashion. He looks even more amused. You realize you're not used to being looked at this way by men, and your shyness catches him off guard. "What's the matter?"

You shake your head. "N-nothing," you stammer, fiddling with the wire again. The momentary distraction of your desk lamp is all that keeps you from looking at him directly.

"Come on, don't be shy now," he coos, smiling so widely that it almost makes you want to melt into your chair.

You stare at the small thumbnail of yourself on the screen, feeling somewhat more exposed than you're used to. After a few seconds, you finally allow yourself to look at him again.

"I don't know," you laugh. "I wasn't expecting you to look like that."

"Oh yeah?" He chuckles, and you catch a glimpse of his dimples. "What were you expecting, then?"

"An ogre," you joke.

He throws his head back, laughing. "Damn, you really had no faith in me." he jokes back, and you're both nervously giggling at your first video chat. It’s awkward in all the right ways. The tension between you increases, but it’s different now. The curtain of anonymity you both sought on this platform has been lifted.

You shake your head, still bashful from his handsomeness. It irritates you. One hot guy gives you attention, and you're falling to your knees.

"Not one bit." You tuck your lips into your mouth, and he leans his chin on his palm, admiring the details of your face. You're just not ready to admit your attraction yet. You’d rather let it linger in the air, maybe make him pine for your compliments.

There's another pause as the playful banter fades into a softer, more charged silence. The tension hangs in the air, neither of you quite sure what to say next. You chew your lip, still somewhat unsure of how you want this to go. But before you can overthink it, he speaks up again.

"So... maybe we could meet up sometime?" His voice is tentative, like he's not quite ready for your answer.

You blink, taken aback. "Oh, um," you bite your bottom lip, feeling the tension in your shoulders. "That sounds cool."

His smile widens, and there's something almost boyish in his excitement. "Yeah?"

You nod, giving him a shy smile. "Yeah."

"Alright then," he grins. "Let's see where this goes."

He sways in his chair again and grins. "So, did you wanna talk about it?"

And that’s the start of long conversations over the phone—your actual phone—after he asks for your number, and you coyly give it to him. More often than not, he's testing the limits of your humor with dark memes, sending you selfies and mirror pics in his uniform that you shamelessly drool over, and FaceTiming you during his night shifts to keep him company while you sprawl out on your bed.

In his downtime, he shamelessly fists at his dick at the mere thought of you. Those pretty lips on his leaking tip, licking up the precum that oozes out and coats the plushness of your flesh. He wonders how you taste, what makes you moan, because at this point it’s obvious you’re both really into each other. Neither of you wants to break the ice—you simply enjoy the flirting and the cutesy banter. He loves the way you giggle at his stupid jokes and how you seem to show a little more skin the more calls you have.

Like when you get up from your seat, and instead of wearing your usual sweats, you’re now sporting a pair of curve-hugging plaid shorts and a flimsy tank top with straps that are always slipping off your shoulders. And it’s painfully obvious when he flares his nose playfully at you and glances away. Maybe there’s a subtle gesture of him adjusting himself, and you throw your head back, not bothering to hide the delight in your laughter.

"You know what you're doing," he quips, drumming his fingers on his work table.

You lean back in your chair and fiddle with the squishy cactus stress toy, stretching out the arms and letting them go with a pop. "I have no idea what you’re talking about," you chime with a giggle.

His eyes fall on your braless figure, cleavage spilling out of the V-shaped collar, tracing the outline of your nipples that peak through the sheer fabric.

"Yes, you do," he insists, gripping the hem of his compression shorts as they strain against his throbbing dick.

There’s a glimmer of mischief in your eye. "And what's that?"

He doesn’t miss a beat. "Being a sexy little vixen." His eyes roam your body again, and you hide your burning face. God, his directness was always so sexy to you. He never bothered to hide the way he felt. Especially when he would heart every selfie you sent him, throwing praises your way like you were the only woman in the world.

"You're not foolin’ me," he presses on, grabbing his planner and clicking his pen as he begins to jot something down.

Your curiosity piques. "What are you doing?"

He chuckles. "Wouldn’t you like to know?" He provocatively glances up at you. "I’m writing down the dates that I’m off."

"For?"

"When I meet you."

Your eyes widen at his boldness, and a shy smile graces your lips. "Meet me?" Your heart picks up its rhythm, and you’re trying your hardest not to get too giddy about it.

He taps his metal pen against the paper, leans back in his chair, and licks his lips. "Is that a problem?"

You hadn’t expected him to be so forward about meeting you. Fuck, he looks so damn edible when he manspreads, looking nonchalant and relaxed. He can sense your yearning but also your hesitation.

He leans forward again, sincerity coming easy to him. "Look," he begins, wanting to comfort you, to assure you he won’t take advantage of you, but he knows it’s a privilege to be in your presence.

"I know you’ve probably heard this a million times: 'You won’t get hurt, you can trust me.' And I know it’s an absolute luxury to even exist alongside you."

That makes you blush. It’s so easy to tell that he was raised right.

"But this," he gestures between the two of you, "I want to know if it’s real. There’s only so much I can tell from behind a screen."

You understand what he means. The essence of a person—their aura, their charisma—is so much more tangible and real when you meet them in person. Seeing their quirks, their habits, feeling their energy. It’s different.

"I know you know what I mean."

You nod. "I do." You lick your lips, searching for the right response. There’s really no doubt in your mind that you want to meet him. I mean, for God's sake, he's mouthwatering. The way his abs peek out from under his loose shirt when he stretches, the playful way he flexes his taut biceps, his calloused hands hardened from war and long hours at the gym. He's just delectable all around.

But are you willing to take the leap?

Somehow, you're still asking yourself that as you peer out the window of the airplane. Your ticket is paid for—first class, with all the accommodations…it’s like a dream.

The landscape below is a patchwork of rebuilt cities and scarred land, signs of a world that has been through hell but is clawing its way back.You can’t help but wonder if this is a glimpse into the future you’re stepping into. A life beyond the screen, in a world where the remnants of war are slowly being overtaken by new growth, where hope is becoming tangible again.

The plane touches down smoothly on a newly restored runway, and as you step into the terminal, you’re greeted by the sight of soldiers, workers, and civilians mingling in a place that once might have been a warzone. Your heart races with anticipation, nervousness, and a hint of something deeper. This isn’t just about meeting him—it’s about stepping into a world that both of you are trying to find your place in.

He’s waiting for you just outside the baggage claim, leaning casually against a pillar. The grittiness of the webcam is replaced by the crisp reality of his presence. The sharpness of his jawline, the vividness of his eyes, and the way his uniform fits him perfectly—it all hits you at once. You realize that you weren’t fully prepared for how striking he’d be in person.

The moment stretches between you, just like it did during your video calls, but now there’s no screen to hide behind. His eyes roam over you, drinking in every detail as if he’s trying to memorize you all over again. And then, with a grin that sends a shiver down your spine, he steps forward.

“Hey,” he says, his voice lower and more resonant in person, sending a thrill through you.

“Hey,” you reply, trying to keep your cool, but the way your voice trembles gives you away.

His grin widens, and he reaches out, his hand brushing against yours. The touch is electric, sending sparks through your body. He notices the way you react and chuckles softly, not even trying to hide his satisfaction.

“You’re just as pretty as I imagined,” he says, his bluntness making your cheeks heat up.

“You’re not too bad yourself,” you manage to tease, though your heart is pounding in your chest.

He laughs, a sound that’s warm and genuine, and it eases some of the tension between you. He leans into you, enveloping you into a warm embrace and you easily return it as you snake your arms around his neck. The smell of his aftershave engulfs your senses and you relax into his touch. “Come on, let’s get out of here,” he says, withdrawing from you to grab your bag effortlessly as he leads you toward the exit.

Outside, the air is fresher than you expected, a sign that nature is beginning to reclaim the earth. The city around you is a mix of new constructions and old ruins. It’s almost nothing like the California you remember. He leads you to a sleek, black SUV and opens the passenger door for you.

As you settle into your seat, you glance at him as he climbs in, feeling a mix of emotions. This is the man you’ve spent hours talking to, flirting with, and getting to know through a screen. Now he’s here, real and tangible, and the chemistry between you is undeniable.

He catches you staring and smirks, reaching over to brush a strand of hair behind your ear. “You alright?” he asks, his voice soft but with an edge of excitement.

You nod, your heart racing with anticipation. “Yeah,” you nervously avert your gaze and nod. “Yeah, I think I am.”

Hesh nods, giving you a reassuring smile. “So, here’s the plan,” He hands you the aux cord. And you grin as you take it from him. “We’re gonna head back to the base,”

He sees you visibly stiffen. “But,” And you raise your brows waiting for him to continue. “We’re going back to my place after we check you in.”

You let out a sigh of relief and he laughs, as he watches you plug your phone in and shake your head. 

“Come on, you know that I live off base.” Hesh occasionally glances over at you, as if making sure you’re comfortable while you shuffle through your playlist. He seems to be the picture of calm, but you can sense the underlying tension that lingers between you two.

You say nothing and end up settling on a song you both love (mostly you).

You should stay real close to Jesus Keep that bottle at your hand, my man

He chuckles at your pick, and reaches over to hold your hand. A wave of comfort washes over you. “Go ahead. Tell me I’m Lana coded for the hundredth time.”

You giggle at him and sit up a bit. “You are!”

He shakes his head and lets the song play, humming along to the tune and you’re actively burning it into your mind. It’s something you want to remember every detail of. The way he squeezes your hand while the other is on his steering wheel, tapping his finger at the steering wheel. How thick his dark lashes are, how pretty his viridian hues are when they peek over at you to make sure you’re real and not a figment of his imagination.

As you approach the base, the outer level is a standard Marine military facility, with its usual array of buildings and vehicles. It’s not completely unknown to you. It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve been on a military base. Military personnel pinlines the large metal gate and one of the guards approaches the vehicle as Hesh fishes out his ID.

“Alright, here’s the deal,” Hesh says as you pull up to the guard. “I’ll have to check you in at the visitor’s center first. They don’t let civilians past this point without clearance.”

You nod, trying to hide your nerves as he pulls into a parking lot near the visitor’s center. He senses your apprehension and turns fully to you, gently grasping your hand. “Hey,” He reaches out to cup your chin, and your breath catches in your throat. His earthy green eyes are trained on you. “God, you’re so pretty.” His fingers gently trace your chin, and you fluster under his fixed gaze. “We’re gonna be outta here in no time, and we’ll spend the whole week together, m’kay?”

“Okay.” You squeeze his hand back, and he brings your wrist to his lips, placing a yearning kiss to your skin. It feels as if it were searing to the touch.

Hesh escorts you into the visitor center, a space designed for civilians to wait while military personnel handle their business. He gives you a reassuring smile before heading to the more secure parts of the base. You watch as he disappears into the maze of corridors, leaving you with a mix of excitement and nervousness.

After what feels like an eternity, Hesh returns, his face relaxed and his eyes bright. “All set,” he says, offering you his hand. “Let’s get out of here.”

You take his hand, and he leads you back to the SUV. The tension between you two is almost palpable, but it’s softened by the warmth of his touch and the promise of time together away from the base.

The scenery changes to one of a regular suburban neighborhood.  From the white picket fences to the restaurants that line the streets to the long lines of cypress and palm trees, you wouldn’t even know the difference. 

“Oh my God, there’s a Taco Bell!” You point out and Hesh laughs at the incredulousness in your tone. 

“Yeah, it’s like any other cookie cutter neighborhood.” He turns into a cul de sac, pulling into the driveway of the biggest home on the block. It’s a mediterranean style home, classic red roof tiles, a stucco exterior with metal work accents. There’s personal touches of greenery, succulents in various sized terracotta pots, a handful of olive trees and wildflowers that maze around the stone path. 

“This is cookie cutter!?” You exclaim, as he helps you out of the vehicle. “You have a sweet crib.”

He smirks at you, carrying your suitcase with one hand and your hand in the other. “Just wait til you see the inside.”

And somehow the interior is much more obnoxiously cozy and earthy. It’s truly a delight to be in a home where beachy tones of seafoam green, turquoise and cerulean are the main color scheme. It really makes you feel like you're on vacation. 

“...and if you’re really down, we can go to the beach…[name]?” He calls out to you and your wandering eyes land back on him. He grins at you, closing the space between you two. “You listenin’?”

“Not really,” You shamelessly admit. “Your place is lovely. Like something out of a magazine.”

He chuckles as he moves past you to climb up the winding staircase with your carry-on and suitcase. “Play your cards right, and this could be yours, too.”

You turn around ripping out of your stupor, “Huh?”

“Nothin’.” He softly snorts, and you follow him the stairs as he shows you to his room. He gives you the option of the guest bedroom or his. You notice little things around the home that paths the walls, small trinkets, memorabilia and photo frames of family members. It all looks different in person, even if he’s given you a house tour over FaceTime.

Peeking into his room, you notice how everything is neatly organized, band posters of Creed, Papa Roach and the like are hung up on his forest green walls. A diffuser runs on his nightstand and it smells like something between sandalwood and amber vanilla. He’s taken all the necessary precautions to make you feel homey.

“Your room.” You smile at him, and he’s more than eager to please. The conversation flows just as easy as it does in person, even as you tell him to turn around while you strip down to get into your bikini.

He promised you all the beach time you could get, and despite the minor jetlag that nags at your slightly foggy mind, you were in the mood to sunbathe. Bonus that you get to show off your summer bod and Hesh is more than willing to peel off his shirt for some much needed skin-to-skin. Even if he can just wrap his taut, tanned arm around your waist to claim you, he’s just happy to be in your company.  

“So, what about the others?” you cock a brow at him, as he flagrantly eyes your figure while you build a sandcastle.

He shakes his head and scoffs, viridian hues trailing down the exposed parts of your skin. “Others?”

You tuck your finger under his chin, signaling for him to look at you and not ogle your body. “Yeah, your other teammates that we play with?”

“Oh right…” He gets lost in your eyes and the way they softly crinkle when you smile, followed by the melodic sound of your laughter and he can’t help but to laugh with you. “They don’t need to know you’re here. Besides, they’re preoccupied.”

You tilt your head. “With?”

He pauses. There’s vacillation behind the earthiness of his eyes. A certain type of secrecy that goes beyond the typical confidentiality that comes with being in the military. “Just stuff.”

“Okay,” You shake your head, not wanting to interrogate him. In the past, he had mentioned that a lot of the things he does out in the field require the utmost discretion and you’re not one to scruple around and find out.

You’d done enough research and background checks to know that he was a military brat, a veteran, has a dog named Riley (whom he misses terribly, but had to go on an op with his brother, Logan), and is oddly passionate about sourdough starters. He’s always open to answering your questions that don’t revolve around his work, which again you’re not entitled to know but you couldn’t say you weren’t the least bit intrigued.

The rest of the day plays out like a dream. Not a single one of your vivid, maladaptive daydreams could touch this. From the way he carries you to the waters of the Pacific Ocean and you cling to him with sea salt in your hair to the way your first kiss sends a thrill of pure electricity up your spine as the sunsets. His lips are soft, plush and salty from the water, and his fingers and hands are as calloused and rough as you had imagined them.

And you literally can’t get enough of him. Especially when he just can’t seem to keep his hands off of you. Seriously, like you need a crowbar to pry them off because he’s attached to the hip. Of course, he lets you go when you need to rinse off the beach from your skin in his shower, but he can’t help but let his thoughts wander. Your wet, naked untouched body just standing under his enclosure he’s installed in the backyard like you’re waiting to be ravaged by him. 

Because dammit that’s what you want. To have him slip in, wrap his strong arms around your waist, pebbling your nipples between his fingertips as he kisses at your neck and bends you over--

“Oh, don’t mind me. I’m just gonna wait here for as long as you need.” He sarcastically remarks over the sound of the running water. You giggle at the playfulness in his tone.

“Oh, I’ll take all night, baby.” You scrub at your skin with the loofa he gave you, watching as the soap becomes sudsy white foam that covers your body. And he accidentally gets a glimpse through the cracks in the bamboo casting and--Lord have mercy on his soul. If it weren’t for the body wash he’d given you from earlier, you’d be all exposed to him.

“Don’t tempt me.” He mutters, sitting on the nearby bench just outside of the shower, fiddling with his drawstrings of his swimming trunks. It’s a failed attempt at trying to quell his dirty thoughts of you and keep his wandering eyes away from the little opening he can see you through.

You swallow thickly as you exfoliate your back, but your arms are sore from trying to get back into shape before meeting with him. It wouldn’t be the worst thing to propose…

“You wanna wash my back for me?”

There’s a pause. The weight of your words and the heavy silence is agonizing, leaving you in regret and pre-dejection. 

“You sure?” He says a bit too quietly, and you hear the sound of his feet shifting against the sandstone. 

You lick your lips and nod. “Yeah, I mean only if you want to…”

He chuckles, “don’t have to ask me twice.” And you hear the scuffling of his feet hitting the grit of the sandy covered stone floor. You hold your breath as he pads on the bamboo panels over to you, and you hear the distinct sharp inhale the moment he gets a full glimpse of you. You feel your shyness overcome you knowing you are now completely bare to him, but the sound of his wet swimming trunks being casted to the side makes you flinch. 

His warmth and his scent casts a shadow over your mind as he envelops you with his arms, taking the soapy loofa from your hands. You can feel his heart drumming against his chest as your shaky breaths mingle for a bit, but the bristles scrub at your upper and lower back preoccupy your mind. You can feel how he squeezes the soap down the swell of your ass and gets to work again.

“I said, my back.” You susurrate, half turning to him and he smirks. 

“My bad, should I stop?” He presses his lips against your shoulder and peeks up at you with dampened dark lashes. You shudder at his touch. It had been long, too long. His touch is making the pyre in your lower belly ignite and you can’t help but lean your weight against him, exposing your neck to him. “I need you to use your words, sweetheart…”

You whine at his pressing need for verbal confirmation. “No, don’t stop.” He hums against your skin and he gently exfoliates over the peaks of your breast, concentrating on how they pebble under his touch. He experimentally thumbs over the hardened bud, tweaking it between his fingers as he kisses the sweet spots on your neck. It’s a pleasurable feeling that leaves you tingly and throbbing. 

You can feel his hardening length pressing against your ass and you gently brush your fingers against it, and he reflexively bucks his hips. “Eager, are we?”

“I could say the same for you!” You chirp, and his laughter reverberates against your back. He gently takes your chin to face him, and he glances down at your flustered gaze before softly latching his lips to yours. His hands, however, do not stop moving. They’re roaming over the expanse of your breast, squeezing at your thighs as he continues to kiss and squeeze you. 

It’s fucking hot the way he can’t help but intermingle his moans with you, whispering your name as he finally slips his fingers between your thighs. And you glance up at him with a half-lidded gaze, lips parted and scrunched brows. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck…

He’s totally melting under your fervent gaze, and the sweet, sweet feeling of your velvety folds against the rough pads of his fingers. 

“Oh, fuck…David…” You gasp, lolling your eyes to the back of your skull. His dick isn’t even in you yet and yet, his fingers are doing more for you than any other man. It’s so easy for him to work both of his fingers into you as he uses his palm to rub at your clit.

“My God, you are so wet.” He croaks, thrusting his fingers into you, past your g-spot and to press against your cervix and you collapse against him when you feel your orgasm practically jump you. He feels you spasm against him, walls fluttering against his fingers and presses his lips against yours again, taking in every one of your little moans and gasps. 

And after you’ve caught your breath, there’s a flash of amusement that takes over his handsome features. “I didn’t think you’d cum so quickly.” He tenderly kisses your shoulder, and then your cheek and up to your hair. You feel your cheeks burn, silently cursing him for his agile fingers, but the humiliation is over in seconds when you turn your body to press flush against his. 

The kiss is electrifying, adrenaline shoots through you and you’re craving more and more of him. His lips part from yours for an instant and he tucks the dampened strand of hair behind your ear. 

“Not everything all at once, sweetheart.” He grins, and your jaw slightly drops at his taunting. He bites his lips at the disbelief in your expression. He wants to ensure that you know that he’s not in it for the quick fuck, that you’re more than that to him. That he’s more than happy to please you, but the sex part. He wants to wait a little. Make sure that you’re really comfortable and you’re not feeling like you’re being coerced into it. 

You sigh as you surf through the 1000s of channels he has on 70 inch plasma screen TV while he takes a long ass piss. Like seriously, this man drinks water by the gallon. But you’re content. You’re sitting on the end of his bed, clad in his Nike hoodie that sits oversized on your body and he’s quietly admiring you from the bathroom door way.  He’s wondering how he got so damn lucky. 

He silently treks over to where you’re perched over the bed, and squats in between your legs, snaking his strong arms against you. His eyes hold an earnest expression, “I can’t believe we met over a Fortnite lobby.”

And that causes you to giggle and rehash all the late night matches you’ve had together, how he’s listened to you pour your heart out to him about all of your troubles and even Venmo’d you a handful of times out of the kindness of his heart.

He watches how your eyes droop, and how any minute you’re about to knock out cold. And soon he’s ushering you under the covers, snug as a bug under his cotton-linen sheets. He joins you from behind, the scent of you is overwhelming and he nuzzles his nose into the crook of your neck. The floral, musky scent of your shampoo is interwoven into your hair paired with your soft snores, easily helping him drift into a deep sleep. 

And when you wake up in the morning it still doesn’t settle in. Not when you wake up to him sleepily rubbing his eyes and peering up at you with that damn grin of his, not when you’re beside him brushing your teeth over his sink and definitely not when you’re sitting across from him on the kitchen bar as he makes you breakfast with nothing but his grey sweats barely hanging off his hips.

It’s cute. The way you two feed each other pancakes and eggs, and how you share the equal feeling of bafflement when you’re facing each other, unable to undo the heap of twisted limbs. Despite his lack of interest in having you meet his teammates yesterday, he wants nothing more than to show you off. In fact, that’s all he does when he’s holding your hand out in the shopping area, buying you anything you happen to say is cute or that you try on that’s very much to his liking. 

He’s getting stopped by soldiers who are also meandering through the streets of San Diego and word gets around fast because soon the crew knew about your sudden appearance all over his Instagram story and the group chat is poppin'.

Logan: No way you flew her out here… Keegan: Kids’, got balls Merrick: I’ll have a word with you when we get back Kick: Wait…who is this again?

“I’m assuming they’re taking it well?” 

He hears your musing voice, and he tears away his gaze from his phone screen to look at you with a beguiled expression. He can’t help but be giddy, as he watches you pad over to him in nothing but his t-shirt, coffee in hand as you take your seat in his lap like it’s reserved just for you. And it feels so natural to have you in his arms like this. You fit so perfectly against him and he’s having to dent his skin with half crescents in an effort to ensure he’s not dreaming.

But reality strikes at you again when you realize that even though you are on vacation, you’re still getting email notifications of transcript requests nearing their deadlines. Your mood shifts and he peeks over at your phone screen, taking your hand in his as he brushes the hair from your face. 

“Is there anything that I can do to make you feel better?”

And that single question is enough to ignite the balmy feeling between your thighs. Your lips instantly find his as you straddle his lap on the love seat, and a small sound of surprise followed by pleasure emits from him, soon finding themselves latching to the side of his throat and he’s threading his fingers through your hair. 

You find yourself returning the favor, slipping your fingers under the waistband of his boxers as your tug at his hardened cock. Vulgarities skid past his mouth as he tries his damned best to fixate those pretty green eyes on you, but they right open when he sees you’ve settled between his thighs. Your plush lips against his aching, swollen tip. 

A groan leaves his lips as you do nothing but tease him with the tip of your tongue before taking him wholly into your mouth, but he doesn’t want to cum yet. He wants to have experienced you fully. So he’s lifting you off the carpet and laying you on the cushion, spreading you wide and dick throbs at your glistening pussy before immersing himself in it. And God, his tongue is as heavenly as his fingers are. He’s not shy at all when it comes to lapping you up like it’s his last meal, shaking you out so he can get even more of you. 

The sounds of his slurping are loud and lewd, humming against your clit right before he inserts his fingers into you and you’re quick to ride out your climax, grabbing at the short dark locks of his hair as you grind against his lips. He doesn’t even move off of you, the sensation of you writhing beneath him as you try to pry him off arouses him, but he obliges when you begin to whine. 

He lets go with a pop, your arousal drips down his chin and you welcome him back with a deep kiss, tasting yourself on his tongue as he pushes you further down onto the couch. You don’t want to stop, you crave him far too much in this instance to halt his actions. Especially when you’re realizing that he’s naked now, and you’re left in only his shirt. But his fingers are dancing over your stomach, reflexively dipping in at his touch until he gets to the peaks of your breasts. 

The fabric lifts off your body and he takes you in. “You’re seriously so stunning, [name].”

You like that he says your name. Not just some generic pet name like baby, or babe. It means something to you, to him. That you’re not just an object for his sexual gratification and you liked that.

You instantly fluster under his gaze, pupils blown leaving only the remnants of his sage green eyes. “Thank you.” You finally muster up the words after what feeling like forever. He rips his gaze from you and the thought finally comes to him. “Um,” He eyes flicker toward the staircase and then at you. “Upstairs.”

“Right.” 

--

You chew on your lip and the anticipation builds between you as he takes your hand and leads you upstairs, giggling as you scoot on his cool bed sheets, and you feel the warmth of his hard body against yours. He leans over to his nightstand and it feels like a millennia before he fishes out a condom. You peek over to look at the box and the receipt is still attached to it, brand new which explains why he was fiddling with the cardboard for so long.

“Just for me?” You chime and he pokes his tongue in his cheek, trying to hold back his grin while he tears open the foil with his teeth and rolls the latex over his hardened length. His forearms are on either side of your head.

“You think I’m just out here layin’ pipe? Of course I just bought them.” He bashfully scratches his neck and you can’t help but laugh at his sheepish grin. You lift your head and cup his stubbly cheeks to bring him into a fiery kiss and he quickly returns it, feeling his cocking enfolding at your entrance. 

You gasp at the way his length brushes against your weepy folds. “Please.” You murmur between kisses and he dithers for a second, searching your expression for any hint of uncertainty. But you’re all there, determined and in desperate need for his touch. 

“Are you sure?” He whispers, and you frantically nod. He chuckles at your insistence and he aligns himself with your sopping core, gently prodding into you until he bottom’s out and you’re both already gasping. The saccharine feeling of being filled up is unmatched, especially when the guy that’s in you is the one you’ve been dreaming about for months. 

And you don’t want him to go slow. No, that doesn’t feel like an option right now. Not after how long you feel like you’ve waited for this moment. Overwrought with desire, your fingers dig into the supple flesh of his ass and he lets out a broken whimper in the form of your name. And he seems to get the hint because he’s quickly ramming into you, your hips connect in a frenetic manner, but it’s so so so good. 

His viridian eyes are reaming at the sight of your dulcet features quickly melting into a lewd expression and milky moans that spill out from your lips. He kisses you haphazardly wanting nothing more but to make you cum and trust that you’re nearly there. He’s hitting all the right places and his lower abdomen is rubbing your puffy clit in just the right way. 

One hand on your hip and the other makes its way to wrap around your throat and, oh God, that look in his eyes and you’re totally done for. His name is clawing its way out from your throat as you feel the maddening rolls of passion drowning your soul with rapture, exposing your neck as you swell with a sigh and falter with a shudder that cascades up and down your body. Kiss after blissful kiss and Hesh feels every ripple in your body. It’s the catalyst of his peak, breaking under the pressure of your pulsating walls and convulsing body. 

It’s the warmth of your neck as his teeth latch onto the sensitive skin, your strangled cries, your labored breaths that make it feel like his orgasm was flaring red, white and blue. You watch in awe as all the dewy green in his eyes fall golden like little stars in the sunlight peeking through his blinds. You’re both panting, melting into each other, and laughter spills from your lips as you hold one another closely. And the adoration seeps out of his bones when he notices that he’s springing back to life and you’re quick to respond to his passion.

And you don’t even know how many hours it’s been. Between refueling breaks and trips to the bathroom, you literally can’t keep your hands off each other. You begin to lose count of all the positions he’s putting you in, but you know one thing for sure--it’s gonna hurt like a bitch in the morning.

Hesh can hardly shake you awake. You’re all wrapped up in his arms, sharing the same covers and he breathes you in as you nuzzle into his neck not wanting to move from your cozy position. He stares at the ceiling, counting the stars he’s placed in the form of all the constellations he knows. Holding you like this and feeling the warmth constantly spread through his chest when he takes a little peek at you. It’s driving him nuts. 

If he were being honest with you right now, he’d say that he’s done searching. That he’s found the one. But of course, he knows that you’re accustomed to the 1-2, hit-and-run, cum-and-go lowly standard of men who have fed you the same bullshit, so he reserves on that. 

Your eyes flutter open and a sleepy smile stretches across your cute features, and he brushes away the strays to gather as much of your visage that he can. 

“Sleep well?”

“I slept amazing.” You stretch your limbs like a cat down to the spread of your toes, but you feel the dull ache in your muscles and groan. “You must’ve put me in every position imaginable.”

A repentant smile plays on his lips as the warmth sidles into his cheeks. “You never complained.”

“Shut up.” You mimp, and he chuckles at the way you purse your lips and puff your cheeks at him. 

Hesh's heart tightens as he watches how your face contorts into one of sadness, the reality of your limited time together gnaws at the both of you. You wish that you could both freeze this moment—just you, him, and the quiet morning light filtering through the linen curtains. But time, as always, marches on, and soon enough, the outside world will come knocking and you’ll have to go back to your boring desk job and he’ll have to go back on his confidential ops.

"You know," he begins, his voice soft, "we've still got a few more days. How about we make the most of them?"

Your eyes meet his, and there's a flicker of understanding. You both know that this time together is precious, and neither of you wants to waste a single second. The romance between you two is budding rapidly and you want nothing more than to cling to him, getting lost in the small blip of time that you will forever cherish.

"I'm all in," you reply, your voice firm despite the lingering exhaustion from last night’s activities. "What do you have in mind?"

A mischievous grin spreads across his face as he pulls you closer, his hand resting on the small of your back. "How about a lazy day? We could just stay in my bed,” he caresses the exposed part of your tummy, leaving a wake of gooseberries, “order some take out,” he nips at your earlobe and you sigh at his touch. “and see where the day takes us."

You laugh softly, the sound like music to his ears and you clasp your arms around his neck. It’s odd. You both feel like at any given moment either one of you will vanish into thin air and you’ll wake up alone in your loft on the other side of the country. "I think that sounds perfect."

For a moment, you both fall silent, simply enjoying the comfort of being close. But the weight of the week ticking away lingers in the air, a reminder that this isn't your everyday life. It's a bubble, fragile and fleeting.

He leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "Whatever happens after this week... we'll figure it out, okay?" His heart tugs at the brimming tears in your eyes. He knows you’re trying to withhold all your pent up feelings and he wants nothing more than to help you squash the negativity that holds more space in your brain than it should.

You nod, your hand finding his, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Yeah, we will." And you mean that.

With that, the two of you settle back into the warmth of the covers, letting the world outside wait a little longer. For now, it's just the two of you, and that's more than enough. 

And just as you two had expected, the week flies by like it’s nothing. Days, afternoons and evenings of lovemaking, dancing on the beach, and him expertly instructing you on how to make the perfect sourdough loaf. How you whisper to each other about your deepest, darkest secrets. And he finds himself opening up to you about how he’s always felt like his neglectful upbringing made him slightful resentful and hardened. Oh how the tears flow at the admission that follows. 

You learn that Hesh thinks he’s everything that his father is not, how his brother, Logan is the Golden Pony boy but he doesn’t blame him for it. How sometimes he wants to push away his little brother more than anything, but he’s all he got left. Your heart aches at the thought of him keeping all of these emotions pent up, so you listen to him and hold him tight; dewy eyed, tear stained and puffy. 

These were the types of memories you wanted to create with your dream partner. It’s whimsical, light yet heavy, but not uncomfortable. It’s like eating the most luscious dessert, but its weight holds pleasantly in your stomach. 

But it leads you back to where you had initially met. The airport.

The hustle and bustle is muted as the both of you sit next to each other, snugged up as he traces patterns onto your jeans in an attempt to calm you. He doesn’t want you to leave. In his mind he’s already thinking of all the time you’re going to spend in the future--and you? 

You’re already withdrawing. You’re thinking that there’s no way in hell that this will thrive. Living in two different parts of the country was not ideal for a budding relationship. For an online friendship, sure, but this easily became more than that.

“Hey,” He nudges you, and your eyes flicker up to meet him. He can sense how your energy has changed, and how you’re detaching from him and he hates it. “Stop that.” He makes you face him and your eyes are distant.

“Stop what?”

His stomach lurches. The doubt creeps back into your mind, and you feel yourself succumbing to the emptiness that you’ll endure when you get back. You’re trying to protect yourself from the inevitable heartbreak and pain of saying goodbye and he sees right through it. His eyes soften, but he’s determined to shake you out of your gloomy state.

“Stop thinking this won’t work,” he says firmly, continuing to draw the patterns into the fabric of your jeans. “I can see it written all over your face, and trust me, I get it. But we’ve got something here--something real, tangible.” His voice falters just slightly as he racks his brain to find the right words. “I’ve been thinking a lot about this…about us.”

The life in your eyes returns a bit more and he knows he has you hooked onto his words that causes your heart to skip a beat.

“This week…it’s been everything I’ve imagined and more.” He cringes slightly at the corniness of his words, and you can’t help but chuckle a little. He’s being so sincere, and you feel yourself choking up. “And I know we’ve just met, but I feel so comfortable with you.” He rolls his eyes a bit at his own words. “Like I’ve known you forever.” And you giggle again, nodding along with him.

He is right, of course. It really does feel like coming home, and you could get used to that feeling.

“I don’t want this to end, I don’t want to go back to talking behind a screen and twiddling our thumbs, wondering when our communication is going to dwindle.” Hesh says, facing you now. “Look, I know this might sound forward,” Your chest tightens at the earnesty in his expression and his words. “But I want to make this work. Like, really work. Like I want you to be here, with me.” He runs his fingers through his short cropped hair and he feels the blood rushing to his cheeks. “I want us to figure out a way to move you out here--whenever I’m stationed, wherever we need to be.”

You feel a surge of mixed emotions--fear, hope, relief? It’s enmeshing and turning in your stomach. It’s what you want to hear, but you’re terrified. 

“David, I…I don’t know…” You croak out, feeling the tears cascade down your cheeks, but he shakes his head and wipes them away. 

“You don’t have to decide right now, [name].” he reassures you, and you feel your throat tighten at how donnish he’s being. “I just want you to know I’m in this for the long haul. I’ve found the one,” He softly smiles. “And it’s you.”

And it’s like a freakin’ dam burst or something with the way you’re crying, but it’s tears of real relief. The idea of staying with him to build a life together, it’s not something you went as far as even imagining. Not until now.

“No bullshit, [name]. I’m not up for losing you.”

“I don’t want to lose you either,” you profess, but your voice trembles with the heavy weight of your feelings. “But the thought of leaving everything behind…it’s a lot to take in, y’know?”

He nods. “I know it is,” he murmurs, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead. “And I’m not asking you to do anything rash. I just want you to think about it. To know that I’m ready to make this work.” He squeezes your hand. “Just say the word.”

You let out a shaky exhale, and nod. “Okay.” You laugh a bit as he dabs away at your tears again. “I’ll think about it.”

His face lights up with a brilliant smile as he kisses your wrist and then pulls you into a tight hug. The sound of the announcer calling your flight ripples through your little moment and reality sets in again. This time with hope. Hope that something real will flourish from this.

As you pull away and walk to the terminal together hand in hand, you pause to stand in front of him. He easily towers over you and you remember how he looked when he picked you up when you touched down. He cups your face and softly kisses your lips, letting go too soon to place a chaste kiss to your forehead.

“Text me when you land.” He caresses your cheek and you nod with a small smile on your face. Your heart aches when he pulls away, his pinky lingers for a second before he lets go, but it’s filled with something new.

His eyes linger on you as you become smaller, boarding the plane and you turn around once more to find that he’s still watching you. His expression is a mix of longing and resoluteness. You wave, and he returns it with eyes full of silent promise.

As you finally step into the plane, you can’t help but wonder if this is really just the beginning of your new life.

masterlist

mini taglist: @milkteaarttime @keegansshark

[desirediariesx]

diary entry #19

I repaid my boyfriend for all of the dick he has been letting me play with

Okay so if you have been following my posts at all then you know that I my bf has been letting me have all kinds of fun. From inviting guys over to use me anonymously, to letting me play with his friends. I have been absolutly loving it and I decided that it would be only fair to return the favor.

I have a friend who I know has always had a bit of a crush on my bf. She is my bestie and we share everything with each other so she knows all about everything we do and all our sexual adventures. She is this cute petite 19 year old blonde girl who I go to school with. She is bisexual as well and we have def made out more than a few times at parties and stuff like that.

I explained the situation to her and told her that I wanted to return the favor to my bf and I wanted to let him experience some other pussy. She was sooooo excited honestly I was suprised haha. I told her my plan and we decided to do it later that night.

When the night came I told my bf that I had a suprise for him, since he has been making me the luckiest girl in the world lately. I told him that I wanted him to lay down on the bed, put a blindfold on, and enjoy himself. I could tell he was excited and wondering what I had planned. My bestie was right outside in her car waiting for me to give her the signal to come in.

Once he was in bed and blindfolded I told her to come in. My bf was already hard as a rock waiting in anticipation. I held my finger up to my lips as a signal to my bestie to be quiet while I unzipped his pants. She wasted no time in putting him in her mouth. Wow she was talented. I never have seen her suck dick before and honestly I was impressed. She def did it better than me ngl. I felt myself getting wetter and wetter while I watched her blow him, and I started playing with myself while I watched. It was fucking hot.

I started making out with my boyfriend and he moaned "thank you" into my mouth while we kissed. I asked if he was ready to feel another girls pussy and he nodded. I said outloud "let him feel how tight that pussy is" and my friend undressed and got on top of him. They both moaned when he slid into her and I actually moaned myself from watching it haha.

I got my toy and started fucking myself while I watched her ride him and I was the first one to cum it was so hot to watch! I kept on rubbing my clit wile keeping my dildo inside of me and just watched her ride him. After a few minutes she moaned "fuck, i'm cumming". His cock was soaked with all her cream and it was hotttttt. I started kissing him and whispering into his ear. "I want you to cum in her". He wasted no time. Grabbing onto her and pulling her deep while he filled up her pussy. It was so hot to watch. I fucking loved it.

After they finished, I told her to leave, and once she left I let him take off the blindfold. I let him watch me suck his cock clean of all the cum from the both of them. He kept asking me who she was and I told him I would never tell. He really wanted to know hahahah. I wouldn't budge tho, its only fair. Such an amazing experience i'm def gonna bring home more girls for him to fuck hehe.

[koolades-world]

one of my besties had me watch the madison beer mv of make you mine and it's actually such a good song. i love that the entire thing is jennifer's body themed. you know it's bad when i think of fictional characters while i listen to the song haha. sorry if mephi's dialogue seems a little ooc, not super familiar with his speech patterns yet

i'm really bad at giving things titles as you can see haha. highly recommend giving it a listen or listening while you read this <3

also i just learnt mephisto has an undercut? it's actually black so is purple not his natural hair color? he'd look really pretty with black hair but part of me wonders if he dyed it purple to look different from lucifer

anyways sorry this is so late! got busy hanging out with friends and the thing i had originally wanted to post wasn't ready, and i just really wanted to post this haha. enjoy :)

make u mine (mephisto x reader)

Mephisto had never meant to end up in such a compromising situation with the human exchange student, of all people. Not that it being anyone else would have made it better, but at least You looked absolutely ravishing in your party wear, and despite everything in him telling him to look away, he couldn't tear his eyes away from you. Had you placed a spell on him?

It all started with a few words overheard in a conversation between Diavolo and Lucifer. Of course, he hadn't meant to overhear what they were saying on purpose. He could thank the journalist inside him unconsciously picking up on many side conversations at the same time, and that one in particular happened to catch his interest. Listening to Mammon and Asmo talk about the latest party they were going to could wait. His attention was fully captured when he heard the phrase "exchange program." That phrase always meant a scoop was just around the bend.

He had no clue that this "scoop" would slowly consume every waking moment he occupied.

Once the time came that for the program to start, he didn't expect to be greeted with two very different humans. One was a powerful sorcerer he knew rather well, from a distance of course, and the other was a seeming nobody. He thought it was odd, but he wanted to interview you nonetheless to get your thoughts on the program. He was interested in learning about you. It started as the beginnings of an article he knew would perform well, and morphed into personal curiosity.

Getting you alone proved difficult. One of those pesky brothers was always with you, and they seemed very insistent on keeping you two apart. They must've received some kind of instruction from Lucifer, as even Satan seemed intent on staying between the two of you. He had been sitting the the RAD newspaper room, alone, pondering over this exact dilemma, when his problem resolved itself when you came barreling the room, slamming the door shut behind you.

"Hey." You were out of breath. Your hair was a mess and a half smile on your face. Your back was pressed to the door. The moment he made eye contact with you was a moment he couldn't quite put words to, despite being excellent at that. He found it hard to look away from you.

He was speechless at first at the crazy coincidence, as if his thoughts had summoned you. "Ehem. How may I help you?" He raised an eyebrow at you.

"Will you do me a tinsy little favor and hide me? Pretty please?" The way you batted your eyelashes at him made his heart immediately cave to your demands, but he knew he had a reputation to uphold.

"Will you agree to do an interview with me if I do?" He spun the question around on you. He had wanted to ask anyways. He wasn't one to pass up an opportunity presented to him on a silver platter.

"Deal. Quick, Lucifer probably wasn't far behind me." You rushed towards him, taking his hand. This shook him for the second time in less than a minute. Hurriedly, he shoved you behind the printing press that occupied one side of the room and turned it on to cover up any noise you might make. No sooner than he had done this, Lucifer threw the door open.

"Didn't you hear me knocking?" The demon looked just out of sort as you had, but angry rather than amused like you were. He hadn't seen anyone get such a rise out of Lucifer in a while. He was interested in hearing your story. Lucifer's eyes scanned the room in search of you, but only grew more irate upon finding nothing out of the ordinary.

"No. I'm busy." Mephisto turned his back to Lucifer to conceal his growing grin.

"Mc isn't in here, are they?" Lucifer remained in the doorway.

"What do you think? This a writing sanctuary, not a daycare." Mephisto picked up one of the papers printed, pretending to look busy. Lucifer huffed, annoyed.

"Watch yourself, cocky journalist." With that, Lucifer spun around and left the room. He left the door slightly ajar, making Mephisto the most annoyed he'd been during that entire interaction. After pushing the door shut, he called out to you.

"He's gone. You have quite the story to tell, hmm?" He grabbed his notepad and pen, beckoning you to take a seat on the couch beside him.

"Turn off the noisemaker, then we can talk." You sat beside him after coming out of hiding. With a playful sigh, he got back up to shut it off so he could really begin to talk to you.

That was his first real conversation with you without one of the brothers present, and he suddenly understood their desire to keep you to themselves. Thankfully, after that day, he had his foot in the door and you were more than happy to speak to him despite the brother's protests. The scowl on Lucifer's face from over your shoulder as you happily chatted with him was worth the world to him because Mephisto knew that Lucifer wouldn't try anything; not with you with your hands all over him, anyways. He adored being the center of your attention despite the fact that several brothers were watching closely. You often slipped away from the brothers and escaped to the room you knew he'd be in. He didn't know if what you were doing was intentional or not, but he began to grow conditioned to seeing you laid out on the plush sofa by his desk, or parked on the desk itself, waiting for him with a smile and open arms. It got to the point where he was certain he saw more of you that any of the brothers did.

He was unsure about how to feel, but he welcomed you into his life readily. It became more than just being with you to make Lucifer mad. It became being with you just to be with you, because he enjoyed your company. However, he always felt as if he left something to be desired when he thought about you. You always left his heart aflutter with your touches, even though he wanted to assume it was just how you behaved normally.

A hand on his shoulder, a hand on his arm, a hand on his. Sometimes, a hand on his waist, fingers looped through his belt loops. A hand on his chest, playing with his tie. A hand on his face, thumbs gliding over his cheeks. A hand on his thigh, hidden under the table.

They all drove him insane.

It was then he realized he harbored some sort of feelings for the human who'd initially started as just the topic of an article he was writing. He craved your attention and wanted to be as close to you as possible. He knew that went past what he'd initially thought about himself. While you were simply a human, you were a human who'd managed to capture the affections of the seven demon lords, and beyond.

A party at his place was what finally unraveled everything. Despite it being his party and therefore, the center of attention, he was only interested in one person. He knew you'd gotten ready in his bedroom as an effort to prevent the brothers from stopping you from going. They, of course, weren't invited, but he wouldn't be surprised if they showed up always once they realized where you were. He knew at this point, he should just give you your own room. It wasn't like he couldn't afford it. He had many empty bedrooms and could easily make one into yours, but he loved sharing his space with you. Something inside him loved seeing your things intermingled with his, and he didn't want to part with that.

But, he hadn't seen you since he went downstairs to begin greeting guests. His eyes scanned the room, searching for you. He thought he saw the flash of a familiar blond head of hair, but he swept past that. His gaze soon settled on the person he was looking for: you. You were chatting with another guest, but as soon as you noticed his stare, you excused yourself from the conversation to make your way over to him. He began to think about you, and how much happier he'd be once you were by his side. He greeted you enthusatically and told you how amazing you looked. You naturally slotted into his side, hands on his shoulders.

In his haze, he failed to notice someone behind him. They bumped into him, causing him to spill his drink all over you. He quickly turned to reprimand them, and to catch their face, but they had vanished into the crowd before he could. Mephisto clenched his fists, but there was nothing he could do. The perpetrator had been swallowed by the evermoving crowd of people. Instead, he went back to you, and decided to help you get cleaned up. You seemed nonchalant about the entire situation, and were happy holding his hand as he dragged you up the stairs to his room.

"Mephi, there's no need to be so worked up. It's a simple fix. If the stain doesn't come out, it was only twenty bucks anways." You kept pace with him.

"It's a matter of dignity. Whoever that was embarrassed me, and now I look like a total moron." He couldn't look at you. His face was most certainly red.

"Not to me you don't." Those words quelled the inner calamity he had a little.

"Well, either way, the stain will set in if we don't do something about it now." He pulled you into his room and locked the door behind you. The last thing he wanted was some nosy demon wandering in after the two of you. If you didn't care what they thought, why should he? But, he didn't want his time with you to be interrupted.

He peered into his closet for something for you to wear. Usually, you had clothes here, hung up, something he was rather proud of, but everything but a couple R.A.D. uniforms were gone. Earlier that day, he'd instructed his staff to wash all your laundry, clean or not, with a new detergent that the both of you quickly fell in love with at the store. It had become both of yours, in a way, and he went feral over the idea of the brothers constantly being reminded of him even when he wasn't around through you.

"Do you want to go back to the party?" He leant out of his closet to yell to you.

"Depends. Anyone important down there?" You responded through the shut bathroom door.

"Not really. Lord Diavolo couldn't make it tonight." He already knew what you were going to say in responce.

"Then we can just get ready for bed. My RAD bag is in here somewhere, so I don't technically have to go home. If you'll let me stay, that is." He heard you laugh through the door. He chortled to himself at that too. You didn't even need to ask anymore. You slept in his bed with him, for crying out loud. You even had your own D.D.D. charger for his house at his side table, right next to his.

"Are you alright with wearing my pajamas to bed? Yours are in the wash." He riffled through his wardrobe to find a very nice pair for you. He eventually settled on one of his sets of black silk pajamas. He wasn't sure if the pants would fit you, but at least you'd have a shirt.

"You know me." You extended your hand through the cracked bathroom door, to which he tossed the clothes into your open hand. You caught them, and snapped the door shut again to put them on. "Mephi, the pants are a little big." He heard you say through the door. Just as he thought. He'd never actually seen you in a set of his clothes before, so he silently prepared himself to feast his eyes. Despite this, he was not ready for you when you stepped in from the bathroom. The blank pants were draped over your arms, and the black button up top fell to your mid thigh. "Just hang these back up. No use in trying that." You put them back into his hands, and threw yourself down onto his bed. He did as you asked, and sat next to you.

"Are your other clothes still in the bathroom?" He studied your side profile.

"Yeah, on the counter." You answered his questions.

"I'll be right back. I'll give those to one of my staff, who'll get the stain out and get it looking brand new." He moved to get back up, but was stopped by your hand reaching out to him.

"Not yet. Let me enjoy a little time with you first." You whined. He couldn't help but chuckle.

"I'll be quick." He moved to get up again, but this time, you got up before him and pushed him back down onto the bed. You straddled him, hands on both of his shoulders, pressing him into his bed.

"You've got no choice now." You triumphally smirked down at him. He knew he could easily get up, but he knew he wouldn't. You knew that too.

"Mc..." He was rather amused, but he couldn't stop from thinking about his feelings for you. Most of his confidence went out the window with that thought.

"I win." With that, you draped yourself over him fully, and Mephisto basked in your attention. As he thought more, while he really didn't want to, his heart told him now would be a great time to tell you how he felt. With the thought of now or never echoing in his brain, he opened his mouth again.

"Mc, I have a confession." He was nervous, more than he'd ever been. But, he was too deep in now to back out.

"Hmm?" You didn't sit up, and remained with your head on his chest.

"I think I'm in love with you." For someone usually so eloquent with his words, these were raw. Thankfully, they seemed to strike a chord with you. You perked up. He studied your face closely for any sort of negative reaction, but none came.

"Can I kiss you?" He was almost stunned by your reciprocation. He wasn't quite sure exactly how you felt yet, but that could wait until after his kiss.

"You may." Spilling that drink on you may have been the second best choice he ever made, the first being deciding to write about you to begin with. He was one lucky demon.

(end was a little rushed cause i'm sleepy haha)

[htfs-ranked-on]

if this hasn't already been done, ranking on how good each would be at babysitting?

in approximate order from best to worst

toothy: probably one of the best babysitters of the tree friends! strikes a good balance between letting the kiddo bend the rules just a little bit, but not letting them do anything actually reckless or dangerous

flippy: probably one of the better options! he likes kids, and he's the responsible type. maybe a bit on the strict side, though

giggles: she's good at keeping the kid safe, but she hovers too much for them to have any real fun

lammy: pretty similar to flippy, but worse at responding under pressure, so if there was any sort of minor incident like a glass breaking, she'd be at a bit of a loss

handy: relatively decent! good with kids, but not a stickler for rules. definitely lets the kiddo get away with staying up late and not eating their vegetables at dinner

sniffles: he doesn't really know what to DO with children. what he DOES know how to do, though, is set up basic grade school level science experiments, which ends up making him one of the favorite babysitters for his "cool science stuff"

cuddles: he's never gonna be the FIRST person to call if you need a babysitter, of course, but he does alright. the kid probably falls over and gets a fun new bruise or scrape to explain to their grownups, but cuddles handles the situation without panicking and only bribes the kiddo with candy a little bit

russell: keeps the kid entertained with "cool pirate stories" that their grownups assume are made up (they are not made up)

petunia: this would probably be worse for her than it would be for the child in question. kids are messy and would stress her out to hell and back, but she'd NEVER take that out on them. the kid would be in great hands, but she wouldn't like a single second of it

pop: is the one looking for a babysitter, haha. on the off chance he has to watch someone else's kid, he does... okay, probably.

mime: not necessarily a BAD babysitter, but he sort of treats the situation like he's performing at a birthday party. super fun, but maybe not the most responsible

lifty: he has no idea what to do with kids. he doesn't DISLIKE them, exactly, but he'll readily admit he's out of his depth. still, though, the kid ends up having fun because he's more than willing to ply them with fast food and play along with whatever little game they come up with just to keep them occupied

shifty: similar to lifty, he has no idea what to do with kids, but he's exponentially more likely to stick them in front of the tv/a video game the whole time because "that's what i grew up doing and i turned out fine" (he did not turn out fine)

nutty: obviously not a GOOD choice, but not as disastrously bad as you'd expect. more candy and video games are involved than is healthy, but no one ends up injured and the kid probably ends the day with a smile

flaky: oh this would stress them out so badly. if they ever managed to get out of their own head, they would get along well with kids, but they're too worried about everything that could go terribly wrong

disco bear: ".....you want a beer?" "he's FOUR 😠" "i don't know, what am i supposed to do with him?!"

splendid: certified Not Good With Children. liable to get distracted and leave the kid unattended around the cleaning supplies or something

mole: let's be real no one is asking him to babysit, and he would say no if anyone did

splendont: i'm not sure you could convince him to babysit

[wander-across-the-firmament]

When I saw Sephiroth for the first time

I've been wanting to share my personal story with you for a long time now, how I came to love FF7 and how I slowly grew to love Sephiroth. Since I don't have anyone else to share it with, apart from my best friend (she probably knows the story from the way I've told it so many times because this character just captured my heart haha. Love you best friend ♡ ), I wanted to write it here on tumblr and maybe also on twitter. The first time I saw anything FF7 related was the movie FF7 Advent Children. (Yep, I'm late to the party but I think better late than never) When the movie came out I was only eight years old and I can't remember how old I was when I saw the movie but I watched it with my family as well. Maybe I was older? Unfortunately I don't know. In any case, I was extremely excited about the movie from the start even though I didn't really understand the story. "It was from the FF series so it can only be good" thought my little self. I only saw action at the time and thought the fights were the coolest. When I saw Sephiroth appear for the first time I didn't know anything about his tragic story and had question marks over my head. My little self thought at the time "didn't the young man have short hair just a moment ago?" (It's not like Sephiroth was seen right at the beginning of the movie, silly haha) I found his style very interesting at the time and thought it was a shame that we didn't see him often in the movie and would have liked to have seen more of him (you'll see him a lot soon hehe) but my little self was always on the side of the good people and never questioned the backgrounds of the villains in FF7 (or in fiction in generel), so the focus on Sephiroth was gone for a long time and my focus was elsewhere and no longer on FF7 for many, many years.

The years flew by and pictures and videos on youtube about FF7 Crisis Core and FF7 in general kept appearing in my life but the focus was still not completely back. I knew that the story existed and that I liked it but my life took a different turn at that time and I was more focused on it. Until the trailer for the FF7 Remake was announced and shown at E3. From then on I started to show more interest in FF7 again and was still a Cloti fan to this day and initially concentrated on the story in general. By then Sephiroth was no longer unknown to me and I knew what he was doing, but when FF7 Remake came finally out I found Sephiroth already extremely pretty and ethereal (Oh yes, he is such an angel ♡ ) and my interest in him increased. However, I still had this "You're only allowed to like the good people" phase and asked myself internally whether it would be okay to like villains as well (oh dear you have no idea haha)

Because of the "you can only like the good fictional characters" phase, I kept my distance from Sephiroth and unfortunately this lasted until FF7 Rebirth. In the back of my mind, however, I wanted to know more about him and watched a few videos about him on youtube. Facts that I already knew, so I watched his scenes in the FF7 Remake many times until FF7 Rebirth was announced. The trailer came and you could see Sephiroth and Cloud both wandering around Nibelheim. From then on, the ice broke in me. I saw how Sephiroth behaved and my interest in him was enormous. I saw how he cared for others and because of that I was extremely happy about it. It didn't take long until I read all the content of FF7, watched all the playthroughs to understand what was happening around Midgar, Nibelheim, Gaia and then I turned my attention to FF7 Crisis Core again and was overwhelmed by the story and how Sephiroth was portrait at that point. The moment I read all the information and story lore about him, he grew closer to my heart. I could understand him and knew his pain. (Losing a mother is painful. I know that all too well. In his case he never had the chance to meet his mother what is extremely sad.)

After all the years he had to endure at the hands of Hojo, Jenova and Shinra, I just wanted a happy ending for him. Sure, he's an iconic villain. I agree with everyone there. I just think that he deserves a happy ending after everything he had to go through. I started to like villains and so I started to end my "phase" and concentrate fully on Sephiroth. FF7 Rebirth was released shortly after and the story was as exciting as ever. That was when I fell down the rabbit hole. Sephiroth became one of my absolute favorite characters in the entire FF franchise and I loved every second he accompanied the group in Nibelheim. It was refreshing to see him being helpful and kind to others. How he cared about others again while you could see his emotions. Since then I have hoped that he will also get his happy ending in the third part. No matter how, the main thing is that he can smile again.

It didn't take long before I heard about FF7 Ever Crisis and of course I was interested. A story for Sephiroth? That sounds perfect! So I watched videos about the game again and had mixed feelings. I was happy to learn more about him and was surprised that we see him in his younger years. However, this is by far the most tragic and saddest story for me in FF7. So I had even more reasons to hope for a happy ending for him and that will continue to be the case. Sephiroth building a wall around himself even though he is looking for social contact, how he searches for his mother in vain, how he is manipulated by Hojo and Jenova…The latest chapter broke my heart into a thousand pieces and Sephiroth simply deserves better than that. The worst part is that his tragic story could have been prevented if only he had been loved more especially as a child.

OK, I had to write all that out of my soul haha. I still find it funny how I used to "avoid" him when I was little because he was a villain and I didn't know him well, and now I love this character so much and his story that continues to be told. For me, he is a very well-written character and I am glad to have seen and read his story and that of FF7 in the right place at the right time. I can well imagine how he felt and that is why he has become my comfort character. I think Sephiroth also appeared at exactly the right time in my life because he gives me the strength to carry on and not give up. That's why he means a lot to me At the moment I'm catching up on all FF7 games and am currently playing FF7 Crisis Core Reunion and FF7 Ever Crisis. FF7 Remake and Rebirth will have to wait a little longer until I've finished the DLC for FF16, but then I'll get to work on those two games too. I can't wait for my journey! Thank you so much for reading this far. That means a lot to me! ♡

[luminouslywriting]

Chapter 13 (Mastermind)—MOTA Fic

A/N: Admittedly, this one was a lot of fun! I had a great lake day yesterday but that also means I'm behind on writing and answering requests haha! They're still open though, so feel free to keep sending me stuff! I'm going to try and catch up today, if I can! As always, let me know what you think and enjoy!

Ruth’s hands didn’t stop shaking after they left her office.  They didn’t stop shaking when she dug through her bag looking for a cigarette and a lighter.  They didn’t stop as she lit the thing—though her hands were rattling as though she was part of some jazz quartet or something.  They didn’t stop shaking as she inhaled the smoke in a rapid breath, unable to get ahold of herself. 

For a moment, it was all she could do to just sit there in her office and stare at the paperwork she was supposed to be doing.  All thoughts of work had melted away into worries that were building and compounding about Abe.  

Any appetite that she had worked up was long gone and she would take the promise of an empty stomach and a cigarette over having to socialize in the mess hall.  What the actual hell had Abe been thinking?  He was just a little boy.  A little Jewish boy who, if caught, would surely be found out that he had lied on his forms and he would be killed or worse.  Ruth couldn’t even take the thought. 

There was a pull in her stomach that seemed to knot itself up tightly.  She wanted to throw up, wanted to scream and punch the wall, wanted to make all of this just go away.  But she did not have the power for that.  

And so for the first time in a long time, Ruth Sharpe let a small whimper slip from her lips and she couldn’t help the fact that the tears came spilling out of her eyes.  Like a dam overflowing, Ruth was simply overwhelmed. She wasn’t one to cry easily, wasn’t one to get emotional.  But she had failed in her most simple of all jobs—being a sister.  

Maybe if she had stayed in the United States, she would have been able to stop Abe from running away and trying to join the military.  Maybe she could have protected him a lot better than any efforts she could give at the current moment.  Ruth Sharpe, shark lawyer, JAG-Corp member, felt totally helpless.  And it wasn’t a feeling she liked. 

So Ruth let herself blubber for a solid five minutes.  She let the tears spill from her eyes, she let the emotions run rampant and all of the ‘what ifs’ swirl around in her mind.  And when she glanced over at the clock, almost exactly at five minutes from when she began her emotional breakdown, Ruth straightened up her back. 

She dabbed at her makeup and at the tear-tracks.  And then she got back to work.  Because what else was she supposed to do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Although Glenn Dye’s party was in full swing, Ruth had little patience for the entire thing.  It was great for that particular captain that he got to go home and that 25 missions could, in fact, be done.  But for everyone else, Ruth didn’t really see a point in celebrating.  After all, there was another mission to be run in the morning. 

Staying out late and celebrating the new arrivals and Glenn Dye didn’t seem like the best use of time, in her opinion.  And her sour mood wasn’t helped by the fact that Helen and Tatty absolutely insisted that she let loose and came to the party. 

Ruth had never particularly cared for parties, even her own.  Her mother had always thrown the best birthday parties and holiday parties—but Ruth would rather be in a corner with a book or in a good conversation than in a room full of people.  And that was thus evidenced by Ruth’s lack of enthusiasm at the current party. 

In the midst of her grumbling and occasionally sipping at a gin, someone came running up to her, tugging on her arm.  Ruth wasn’t even surprised to find Abe, grinning as he encouraged her to come and meet his friends.  

“Aren’t you—embarrassed or something?” Ruth demanded in slight annoyance. 

“Embarrassed? Why would I be embarrassed?” Abe asked, giving her a strange look.  “You’re JAG-Corp AND you outrank them.  I get to brag!” 

As Abe brought her to a stop in front of the new recruits—a few of whom she vaguely recognized from the inspections done earlier that day—there was a slight look of fear that gave rise to pride in her chest.  “Uh, Abe—” One of them started nervously. 

“This is my sister!  Ruth!” Abe exclaimed proudly, a wide grin on his face. 

Ruth didn’t even blink as her gaze turned onto the men curiously.  “The uh—the scary—” One of them started, earning an elbow to the ribs and a wince.  “The lawyer lady is your sister?” 

“I can see you’re just as charmed to meet me as I am to meet you,” Ruth retorted in a steel tone.  “Your names, soldiers?” 

“Ruthie—” Abe started in a slight warning tone. 

“Nash,” The one in the middle piped up. 

“Speitz.” 

“Pappy.” 

“Is it true that you grew up down the hall from Rosenthal?” Nash questioned, gaze flickering between the two siblings. 

A tight smile found its way onto Ruth’s features.  “Guilty as charged, I’m afraid.  Why?  Are you looking for blackmail?” 

“Be nice, please,” Abe mumbled. 

“Oh look, here’s Twinkle-Toes now.  Just like Senior Prom,” Ruth said, letting out a sigh at the sight of Robert Rosenthal dancing his way over to the group.  He continued his moves right up until he nearly bumped into Ruth, a panicked expression crossing his features quickly. 

“Uh, I didn’t see—” 

“You?  Not paying attention?  I’m shocked,” Ruth said dryly.  

“I’m sorry, you said prom?” Pappy questioned, leaning forward. 

Both Ruth and Rosie gave each other a withering gaze.  “Oh yeah!” Abe exclaimed, cutting them off before either could speak.  “They went to prom together since their dates both had the flu!” 

“Anyways,” Rosie expressed in a louder tone.  “What have I missed?” 

“Well I’m eying broads and Pappy here’s trying to dour the mood,” Nash said, gesturing at his friend. “So in other words, nothing.” 

“Sour,” Rosie and Ruth said at the same time—immediately giving each other an incredulous look of annoyance.  

“What?” 

“The word, it’s sour,” Rosie corrected. “Sour the mood is what you mean.” 

“No, no,” Pappy insisted.  “All I said is that it’s not a good sign for us.  One crew making it merits a blowout bash?” 

“I’m gonna grab a drink—” Abe started. 

“You are not 21,” Ruth hissed, gaze withering onto her brother. 

Rosie gave a grin as Abe frowned.  “For you, Ruthie!” Abe exclaimed, hurrying off. 

“That kid is such a menace,” Ruth murmured, shaking her head as Abe dipped off to the bar.  “Drink for me—yeah, he’ll take a sip out of it.” 

Nash didn’t respond and everyone followed his line of vision.  “Oh don’t bother them—” 

Ruth glanced over—following the line of sight onto Helen and Tatty.  She nearly snorted, amusement spilling onto her features.  “Good luck with that.” 

Before Nash could so much as ask what she meant by that particular comment, Abe returned.  This time, he was accompanied by Major Egan and Major Cleven and Ruth felt as though everything in the universe were aligning to try and take her out today. 

“Ruthie!” Bucky exclaimed in a peppy tone.  “Baby Shark here was just telling me that you’re his sister!” 

“Oh good God,” Ruth pinched the bridge of her nose as Abe looked smug, snugly standing between the two Majors as if he had picked out two sixth graders to protect him from bullies on the playground.  

“Baby Shark?” Abe questioned, glancing over in their direction. 

Bucky just flashed an award-winning smile.  “You know,” he said, gesturing at Ruth with his head.  “Because she’s a shark.” 

“Gentlemen,” Major Cleven cut in, shooting Bucky a warning glance.  The last thing that they needed when they were trying to meet the new pilots was to anger Lieutenant Sharpe and start a ruthless verbal battle. 

Ruth plucked the drink out of Abe’s hand and made her getaway before anyone could stop her.  Her head felt like it was pounding and honestly?  The last thing she needed was to put up with Abe, Robby Rosenthal, and Bucky Egan in one sitting.  That was too much for her sensibilities and she didn’t have the patience for that at the moment.  

Returning to the bar, Ruth found Jack Kidd sipping on a drink and she let out a deep sigh.  “Push me down the stairs of the tower next time we’re up there?” Ruth questioned, gaze locking onto him. 

Kidd, to his credit, choked on the drink, eyes going wide.  “That’s uh—that’s an extreme reaction.” 

“See the shrimpy kid over there in between Cleven and Egan?” 

“Well yeah.  What about him?” 

“That’s my brother.  And the new guy with the worm on his face and far too much hair gel is his favorite neighbor and my rival from school.” 

Kidd blinked at the scene up ahead, shaking his head.  “That’s awful luck, Ruth.” 

“Don’t I know it,” Ruth exhaled, taking a sip of her gin.  “If I have to put up with those two and Egan, I think I might just….court martial everyone on this damn base.” 

“Duly noted,” Kidd retorted.  “You didn’t know your brother was coming?” He added, curiosity brimming in his features. 

“Not really, no.  And I wouldn’t expect him to end up on the same base as me either.  God must have a really good sense of humor when it comes to me,” Ruth said lightly.  “Who knows?  Maybe I’ll rub off on you and you’ll start having this sorta luck too.” 

“Don’t you dare!” Kidd exclaimed.  “I’m tired enough of Egan’s bullshit and the rest of what we’ve got going on to have that sorta luck.” 

“Relax, I won’t start prayin’ for that,” Ruth insisted, a small grin on her features.  “Any way we can get my brother in Rosenthal’s plane?” 

“Why?” 

“Kid brother, I tend to worry.  At least with Rosenthal, he’ll be with someone I’ve known most of my life.” 

Kidd gave a nod.  “Shouldn’t be too much of a problem.  I’ll get him transferred there before tomorrow’s mission.” 

“Thanks, Kidd.” 

Before he could reply to that or ask any further questions, a slightly tipsy Harding had made his appearance, calling out for his boys.  And unfortunately for Tatty and Ruth, they knew that they were included in that same line-up—after all, Harding communicated with the Red Cross as much as he did with the Majors.  

“My boys!  Listen up! I just had a mood-killing conversation with Doc Stover, and he thinks you sissies could be getting flak-happy.” There were groans of disagreement from the men and Harding gave a firm nod.  “I told him war is war, and the longer you go at it, the more it screws a man up.  And it’s been that way since the first caveman son of a bitch picked up a club and went after the other.” 

“Cain and Abel, you mean,” Ruth mumbled, earning herself an elbow from Kidd—though she wasn’t necessarily wrong. 

“Did cavemen go for head-shrinking?” Harding questioned.  “Damn sure not.  What counts is that you soldiers show up ready and able to fight.  What you do between battles…” Harding trailed off and Ruth couldn’t help the fact that her jaw dropped at the insinuation of fraternization being alright. 

“I like your style, sir!” Bucky exclaimed. 

“Oh you’ve gotta be shitting me,” Ruth hissed out. 

“Aerial combat like this hasn’t been around since the cavemen, sir,” Red piped up. 

“Well of course not, Red.  Every war has its novelties,” Harding turned, eyes catching onto the decorations.  He soured, a frown painting onto his features.  “Who the hell decorated for this fiesta?” 

“Well I put together a committee, sir,” Crosby mumbled. 

“The damn plane looks like it’s in a nosedive!” Harding exclaimed.  He mumbled some more before ushering the group closer together.  “You know how we could end this whole thing tonight? We fill up one of our first with as many 500 pounders as she can hold and we bomb the hell out of Hitler’s hidey hole.  I’m sure that Red and Bubbles could locate that mustached little fu—” 

“That’s against the rules of conduct,” Ruth’s voice cut cleanly through the crowd, effectively silencing Harding and sending chills down the spines of several of the men.  “And quite frankly stupid.  After all, we’re aiming to kill the soldiers, not the innocent kids and families of Germany.”

Harding blinked as Ruth approached him, almost having to take a step back to process the fact that she was in front of him.  “War is war, sweetheart.” 

“Oh shit,” Kidd breathed out. 

Before Ruth could so much as verbally end this entire thing with Harding, Bucky had taken it upon himself to speak up.  “Well now who’s flak-happy?” Bucky piped up. 

Both Ruth and Harding’s glares set on Bucky at the same time.  “Who?” Harding questioned. 

“I believe you’ve had enough to drink for the night, sir.  There’s a mission early in the morning and I doubt you want the men flying into combat without your instructions,” Ruth said in a steel tone. 

“But—” 

“Red, please escort him back to his cabin.  Egan—” Ruth turned, gaze falling on him.  “A word?” 

Bucky let out a slight grumble, following Ruth a short distance away from the crowd of men who were now talking.  “What?” He questioned. 

“Cleven talked to me earlier.  And now I’m seeing what he means.  I’ll ensure you get a weekend pass for tomorrow.  I can handle Harding for the weekend.  You need a break.” 

The foul stench of alcohol stung the air in front of her as Bucky let out a snarled breath of annoyance.  “I don’t need jack-shit from you.  What do you know—” 

Ruth’s hand sharply cut through the air, slapping against his face.  Everyone had heard it and wisely chose to avoid eye contact with the fuming Major at the moment.  “That was me holding back and being polite—your men need you at your best.  This?  This is not your best.  Take a break, re-center, relax….whatever the hell you need to do to get your head back in the game.  Then you come back and you lead your men through it.  Understood?” Ruth demanded, crossing her arms.  

“I don’t suppose it’s up for negotiation?” 

“Not a chance, flyboy.  Now get going.” 

“Okay…..Mama Shark.” 

She made a slight movement and he dashed away.  Ruth just pinched the bridge of her nose.  She had a sinking feeling that tomorrow was going to be an utter shitshow. 

But there was nothing to be done about that now. 

[pynkhues]

Thanks so much for all your meta posts! I’m a little late to the succession party so apologies if you’ve already answered this but having just finished the show, I’d love to hear your thoughts on how you understand the, for lack of better term, uniquely unsettling nature of the relationship between Kendall and Logan.

To preface, all four kids have unique and interesting relationships with and to Logan and I’m in no way trying to minimize any of the characters trauma. Just, there’s just something about Kendall being told at seven years old that he would inherit it all while at an innocuous small-town ice cream parlor that is upsetting? Almost sinister? I can’t help but think of the season 1 finale and the hug, the closeness that is somehow a combination of comfort, relief, foreboding, control, and possessiveness all wrapped into one gesture. I can’t put my finger on it but there’s just a disquieting undercurrent to some of Logan and Kendall’s interactions.

I’ve been trying to define why I feel that way watching so many of their scenes and I’m having a hard time pinpointing it. Do you have any thoughts? I’ve seen some fans make comparisons to emotion incest or enmeshment (which I think would apply to all the kids to greater or lesser extents) and predatory childhood grooming (which I think has some similarities considering Kendall was “groomed” to take over Waystar but I don’t think a more literal interpretation is really supported by the text) but none of it feels like a perfect fit. Would be super interested to get your take.  

You’re very welcome, anon, and I’m so sorry it’s taken so long for me to reply to this! It’s been! A big few weeks in an already very big year, haha (my sister has been in family court for the last nine months, and I'm her +1 / support person, and let me tell you, I now know a lot about the legal system I wish I'd never had to). Your question’s a really interesting one though, and one I’ve thought about a lot, because I agree – I think there is something uniquely unsettling in Kendall and Logan’s relationship, and it is something that’s hard to pinpoint.

After all, like you said, all the kids have unique relationships with Logan, but in many ways, there’s more crossover between their abuse than there isn’t. There’s physical violence, emotional incest and family enmeshment at the core of the Roy family dynamic, and Logan’s capacity to weaponise familial bonds in order to keep them all close to him and fighting with each other is pretty much one of the tenets of the show. Logan might’ve thought of himself as a sun they orbited around, but the reality is he’d never give them that much rope – they were always doomed to be burning their feet on the surface of him.

I also agree with you that grooming’s not necessarily the right term for what’s happening in the family dynamic, because I don’t actually think Logan’s a groomer? I get why people think he is, and he’s absolutely abusive, don’t get me wrong, but grooming implies a serious degree of intent and the formation of a relationship with the purpose of manipulation and abuse, and I just - - don’t think Logan’s brain operates that way? I think he’s much, much more of an enmeshed parent than he is a groomer, because I think Logan loves all of his children in the fullest way that he’s able. He himself was a deeply traumatised child who grew into a horrible and abusive yet still deeply traumatised man, and to position him as only developing these relationships with his children for the purposes of manipulating them is just something I don’t see.

In many ways, it makes it worse, right? Because every decision he makes isn’t one with an end goal for the kids, it’s ongoing and his moments of genuine warmth are only matched by the moments he leaves them in the harshest of colds. Like he promised Shiv Waystar not because he was grooming her but because for a minute, he genuinely wanted her to have it, which makes it a lot harder for Shiv to process than if he was always stringing her along.

This idea of promising a company of that scale to a seven-year-old boy, to me at least, doesn’t just read as unsettling, but as deeply tragic, because to make that sort of promise to a child that young isn’t about Logan’s relationship with Kendall at all, it’s about Logan’s relationship with himself and his past.

Think of it this way – we know that Logan and Caroline didn’t divorce until Shiv was (at least) 11, which means he was making that promise long before they split up, and in the late 80s, probably not long after Waystar had had that expansion into Parks and Cruises.

I think what makes it insidious is not the promise in itself, but the fact that Logan has no concept of the fact that Kendall would and does shape his entire life and identity around the offer. To Logan, it’s probably an earnest thought offered on a sunny afternoon, but it's nakedly borne out of a deep internalised trauma over losing a father he’d never know and inheriting a business from an uncle who’d leave him scars that would last 70 years.

To give it to Kendall is to let him wear that trauma - a trauma he doesn't understand - like a cloak and tell him its a gift.

-

I'm separating this because I think I'm less confident with it overall as a theory, but I think there is another buried layer here too that Logan potentially saw something in Kendall that was inherently mmm, I don’t know what the word here is actually – vulnerable, I guess? But that’s not necessarily what I mean. My point is more that Logan’s a man who had, at the point of having at least the Golden Trio, all the resources in the world, and while arguably Shiv, Roman, and (to a lesser extent) Connor’s various issues and neuroses can be put down fairly cleanly to Logan’s abuse and neglect, I don’t necessarily think that Kendall’s can.

The show never diagnoses anyone, but I feel it’s pretty implicit on the show that Kendall’s bipolar, which feeds into his addiction issues (people with bipolar are up to 59% more likely than people without bipolar of being diagnosed with substance abuse disorders) and it’s outright stated in the pilot that Logan saw rehab as the ‘nut house’, and that he pulled Kendall out of it after just a day in 2.01, of which the latter is canonical medical negligence. How much medical negligence played into Kendall’s childhood, and how much Logan’s personal history between his sister’s death and his first wife’s nervous breakdown, informed perhaps a need to have a ‘healthy son’ is anyone’s guess, of course, but I think personally that it’s probably a significant factor.

Add to that that Logan does seem particularly protective of Kendall, and that Kendall’s the only one who seems to fully understand Logan’s medications and health (even though Connor’s the one to understand the funeral plans), I think is telling. That maybe there was a genuine (albeit extremely toxic and power imbalanced) shared intimacy around health between them that opened up a space for vulnerability and affection that Logan never understood the weight of, and that Kendall could never let go of.

This is getting into tldr territory now, haha, but yes! I guess I’d say that I agree with you, and I think what makes the relationship between Logan and Kendall particularly biting is Logan’s simultaneous dependence and thoughtlessness. He leans heavy and hard, but loathes the signs of splintering, and I think he feels he does Kendall a kindness by pretending not to see it a lot of the time. Pair that with Logan having not dealt with his own abuse and instead projecting all the ways he’s Not Noah onto his child, I think it’s overall just a mess of a traumatised person not recognising their own trauma and dropping the weight and expectations of all of that onto their seven year old son at an ice cream parlour and never growing enough to know what they did is fucked.

[akehoshimystar]

Kiho SSR

#DF507F

Part 1

Kiho: Yes. Feel free to contact me if you need anything else. Ito: (Ah, looks like it's over)

In the calm and quiet shop, only Kiho-san and the customer remained. After watching the customer leave, I approached him as he put away his fortune-telling tools.

Ito: Thank you for your hard work, Kiho-san. You look like you could use some drinks, would you like something? Kiho: Thank you. Then I'll have a Moscow Mule, please. Ito: Understood.

I made the Moscow Mule as ordered and handed it to Kiho-san.

Ito: You sometimes get a reservation for fortune telling all of a sudden, huh? Kiho: The person from before is a regular and has used my service for quite some time now. If I can be of help to regular customers, it's not a bad idea to work a little outside of business hours. Ito: (So he cares that much about customers. What a nice thinking.) Oh, by the way. Happy birthday, Kiho-san. Kiho: Oh, thank you.

Today is Kiho-san's birthday. Later on, we’re going to have a birthday party with the people in the Negotiation Dept. who couldn't make it here due to work. Contrary to me, who was a little disappointed that we couldn't all celebrate on the very day, Kiho-san smiled leisurely without seeming to care.

Kiho: Is Ito also planning to attend my birthday party? Ito: Yes, I'm very grateful that I was invited. I'm looking forward to it. Kiho: I should be the grateful one here. I'm happy that you're joining us, so you don’t have to be very formal about it. Ito: (Being informal with Kiho-san….. Now that's a tall order.)

Kyoya: Oh, Kiho-san… and Yashiro-san? Kiho: Hmm, Kyoya-kun? Ito: Aren’t you busy until late tonight…? Kyoya: My previous appointment ended early. So I had some time before my next job. I came here to take a short break. But I didn’t expect to meet Kiho-san at all. Kiho-san, happy birthday. Kiho: Yeah, thank you. Ito: Then I’ll get you some drinks.

Part 2

Riku: Pardon my intrusion….. Now why do we have some very unusual faces here.

Kyoya: Riku-san? Kiho: ………

Riku: Has Kiho's birthday party already started? Kyoya: Haha, all the members are here, so I guess? Unfortunately, I have to leave a little later. Riku: Oh, same here. My original plan was cancelled, but I had a new appointment now. Nevertheless I still have some time, so I stopped by. Talk about a coincidence. Kiho: Coincidence, huh? I feel like it's too good to be true that we’ve all gathered at the perfect timing. Riku: Hey, you think this was all scripted? Kyoya: If Riku-san were to wrote a script, I think it would turn out even better than this situation. Kiho: Haha, I'm kidding. There’s no way you could have predicted when the customers would cancel. Riku: I'm glad you think that way. Well, maybe you’ve already heard this from those two, but I'll say it too. Happy birthday, Kiho.

Kiho: …Thank you. Kyoya: Then, why don't we have a toast? Riku: Ito, can I order a drink? Ito: Yes.

I made the non-alcoholic drinks they requested before handing them to those two. Of course, I also joined in, and everyone raised their glasses with smiles on their faces.

Riku: To Kiho’s birthday. All: Cheers!

Riku: Oh, this is good. Ending the tiring day after work like this is awesome, actually. Kyoya: Let's save that for next time. Kiho: Since I’ll head straight home, I'll take my time to savor it.

After enjoying our time together. Riku-san and Shido-san headed off to their next appointment. With the two of them gone, the cafe’s calmness returned and the atmosphere became more relaxed.

Ito: It really was a great coincidence. I never thought we’d meet those two. Kiho: ………………Yeah. Well, I guess it's about time I go too. Thank you for today. Ito: Yes, thank you for your hard work.

Ito: (I’m done with stock checking now.) Well, it’s time I head back.

Just as I was about to start walking home, I spotted a someone a little ahead of me.

Ito: (Kiho-san? Is he on the phone) Kiho: Yeah, I know. I'll hang up now.

I met his eyes as he put down his smartphone, looking a little more relaxed in a different way than when he was with his colleagues in Negotiation Dept.

Kiho: …Ito. Are you going home? Ito: Yes. I thought Kiho-san had already gone home. Kiho: When I left the store, Roka called me. Seems like he held me back long enough for you to go home. Ito: I see. It's another amazing coincidence.

Kiho: .…..That’s true. Since it was fate that we met here, I'll walk you back to the dorm. Ito: That's a very kind offer, but I don't think that’s what today's main character should do. Kiho: Don't worry about that, it'll help me sober up as well. May I? Ito: (I don't feel like he’s the slightest bit drunk, but maybe it would be rude to refuse when he insisted like that?) In that case, I’ll take you up on that.

Part 3

On the way home, Kiho-san naturally led the conversation. There was no need to worry about what to talk about, he made me forget about the existence of awkwardness. As expected from the Negotiation Department.

Ito: Even so, I was really surprised today. We all had changes in our plans, but we all ended up in the same place. Right now as well. I never thought we would meet on the way home and you would walk me home like this. Kiho: You really think what happened today was a coincidence? Ito: Yes. Kiho: If there is a reason why you can witness such a series of coincidences, what do you think it is? Ito: Eh?

Not understanding the intention of the question, I was at a loss for words. Kiho-san was staring at me with unreadable eyes, and suddenly laughed.

Kiho: Sorry for saying something weird out of nowhere. We've finally arrived. Ito: Ah….. Kiho: I'll take my leave here. Well then, see you later..... Oh, seems like I got messages from Riku and Kyoya.

After I gestured that it was okay for him to leave, Kiho-san opened his eyes slightly and then smiled softly while using his smartphone.

Kiho: It was an apology for not being able to spend the rest of the day with me, and a birthday message. Ito: (I see… That’s why he has such a soft expression.) Then, allow me to say it again. Happy birthday. Whatever the reason, I'm very happy to have met you, Kiho-san. Kiho: Oh…. Ito: Huh? Kiho: Continuing on from what I was saying earlier. If there's a reason why we’re able to witness a series of strange coincidences…… I think it’d be the exact opposite of coincidence. Ito: (And that is…)

The word "inevitable" crossed my mind. While still maintaining his mysterious aura, Kiho-san smiled softly and seemed somehow happy.

Ito: I’m not sure if it was inevitable or not… But I think it was a blessing that everyone came together on your birthday to congratulate. Kiho: …Yeah, you’re right. Well, sorry for holding you back. It’s better if you go inside soon. Ito: Oh, sure. Thank you for walking me home. Kiho: You're welcome. Well, I'll just take a taxi… No. I think I'll walk a little more and enjoy the night breeze on the way home.

I can see his seemingly happy back drifting away. Perhaps what happened today was more pleasing to Kiho-san than I thought. On this day, I felt like I was able to get a glimpse into his always mysterious hidden heart.

[threerattsinatrenchcoat]

10 First lines challenge

Rules: Share the first line of your last ten published works or as many as you are able to and see if there are any patterns!

I was tagged by @bloobluebloo! I'm going to tag @captainsigge, @redroomroaving and @lolliputian

Goblin Roundhouse Chell! (And Kavil) : "Hi, Chell," Kavil said, not even looking up from her picture novel.

When Life Gives you Lemons, Throw a Party! (NSFW) : The bouncer held up a magical glass, peering through it to examine Astarion.

A Honeypot; A Thirst Trap, chapter All for One; One for Oll (NSFW) : In the back of a canvas covered caravan, three men huddled together, doing their makeup. The first line for the entire fic: Her dress was torn, her bustier laced far too tight, and the heels of her shoes were too tall, and that was really the first clue, wasn't it?

Sweeter than Vengeance : "Is that—"

Arcanus Fisticuffus, chapter Philomeen : As people had done since they first started peopling, several traditions were established by the end of round two. First line for the entire fic: Sal awoke to Rugan sitting by his bed, wrapping his hand in bandages.

Gnomish Cumming (NSFW) : "Mystra, the goddess of magic, seeking single male, age 20-2000, bottom."

Three of a Four Course Meal : The denizens of Baldur's Gate were used to late nights, but at this point even the moons were heading to their beds over the horizon.

The Princess and the Frog : A bruise bloomed on Lae'zel's cheek, dark as the circles under Shadowheart's eyes.

Embers that Never Go Out : Around the time Elminster poured her a glass of wine and offered her a lip's worth of tabbaco-cud, Arabella got the feeling he hadn't really been around kids in a while.

The Circus Came to Town (NSFW) : Wyll slammed the clown against the tent wall so hard he nearly brought it down.

Analysis:

If it's smut, I definitely like to get RIGHT TO IT. No set up, Wyll is already slamming people against walls, Mystra is propositioning strangers, Rugan's noting a heaving bosom. I forgot how funny the opening to Gnomish Cumming was. "Bottom." I love the opening for Embers the Never Go Out, it perfect captures Arabella and Elminster's relationship. I also love the opening for Honeypot, it just captures the energy of the fic really well. Sweeter than Vengeance works better in context, same with The Princess and the Frog.

I think overall most of these aren't too compelling? 1, 2, 4 and 7 are meh. 7 is actually fairly clumsy, I'm going to rework that, haha. I do like 9 though. I'm going to pin 9 on the wall.

[wrestlezaynia]

Hiii mate, thanks for replying and answering those questions 😁 I know I don't need to reply to it but I wanted to anyway. So I'm not expecting you to reply to this one 😂 (not that you shouldn't reply if you feel like it 😆)

Ugh honestly I can't get enough of these two. I think it's cause of their history as well. They really are like an old married couple 😌. Absolutely lovee that Hug me! Hold me tight! gif!! They are soo affectionate and not afraid to hide it.

Honestly I'm veryy late to the party. I discovered them only a little after they won their tag titles last year. So I've had to go back and do a bit of digging and now and then I'll find something that everyone already knew about yearsss ago 🙄😂 and I'll get all excited over it, but no one to get excited with cause everyone's already been there done that 😂 (also absolutely no one I know likes wrestling or really even knows about it 😭) I know I've missed out on a LOT with these two 😭 and I get only glimpses of the past here and there, but I guess as they say better late than never 😁 So I'm enjoying your posts as well as the other zowens supporters haha that's how I get my "fix".

Its pretty admirable to be able to write like that, putting down words on paper that were once in your head, making the people reading it feel all kinds of things 😊 I'll definitely be keeping an eye out for more writing from you. Also um... skinny dipping 😳 what are you tryin ta do to me 🫠 😳 can't wait 😆

Ta

🐨

PS. I have no idea why I liked Hey Arnold! as much as I did back then now that you brought it up 😂

Your messages always bring a smile to my face, thank you so much! And it's okay, I still find myself delving into old interactions between them and going feral, so you're definitely not alone. Feel free to drop by anytime so we can gush about them together! 🤭

[thelazyhermits]

First off, every single part of your Twisted Wonderland story heals a scar in my soul I want even aware existed. The way you capture and expand on each character in the game has me falling in love with them over and over again like I did the first time I got into Twisted Wonderland. Everything right now has been kinda stressful for me and I had to take a break from TW for a good while (the regret of missing so many events 😭), but only recently I had gotten back in and that’s because of you! Back then TW had so many new fans and content that you could never get enough yet sadly I see more and more abandon or incomplete works and creators retiring, to which I completely respect and understand their circumstances, but it does break my heart. I love TW so much and to know that you write such beautiful, heart gripping stories of them is something I am forever grateful for, the Yuu you’ve given life to is one I love with my whole heart just as much as I love all the other silly little boys. She’s such a sweetheart and seeing her be so loved, so treasured, is so soothing and healing that I can only want more! So please do take the time to rest, heal and don’t forget to hydrate because as much as I, and many of your fans, love and want more, we want you to take care of yourself first and foremost 🫶 Coming back to TW with you as my welcome has been the best thing I’ve done so far because you really gave me a reason to come back to this place. I’m finally picking up the game again and just in time for Tsum3 hehehe, I apologize if this is so long and wordy but I sometimes can’t really comment much so I usually comment long before disappearing again （−＿−；）But know that you have an avid fan of your writing right here and I’m not leaving any time soon ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

Setting that aside, I was wondering what event will you be writing about next after the Glorious Masquerade? By order I believe it’s the Port event right?

Awwwwwwwwww!!! This is one of the sweetest asks I've ever received! Thank you soooo much!!! 😭🥺😭🥺😭🥺

I am beyond flattered to hear that you feel that way about my writing. I seriously can't ask for a better compliment than being told that my writing & portrayal of the TWST boys has resulted in you falling even more in love with the boys. I am always so happy when I can make my readers fall even more love with the boys, especially my favorite boys XD

I'm so glad that you find my TW series to be healing/soothing. Nothing makes me happier than when my writing is able to help improve someone else's day/get them through a tough time, etc. since I always love to make my readers smile with my fics 🥰

It's wonderful to hear that this series was able to give you a reason to come back to TWST and was like a welcome back party so to speak. It's also pretty funny since TWST has a vice grip on me, which has lasted for two years now, and I don't think I'll be getting away anytime soon so it's like it's using my fics to do the same to all my readers. We're all in this together 😂

I'm sorry to hear things have been stressful for you as of late and that you had to miss some events as a result. I hope things will become less stressful soon, and hopefully, you'll get a chance to see those events again via reruns. Thankfully, JPN had a lot of those this year, so there should be plenty in the ENG server in 2025 haha

I'm so happy you like my Yuu since she's near and dear to my heart, and I just have so much fun writing her interactions with the TWST boys. There's just something endearing/almost poetic about how this girl, who never knew love, came to experience it for the first time in a school filled with "villains".

These boys are far from perfect. They're all a handful and can be a real pain in the ass at times, but it's specifically because of their "villainous" natures that the love/care they show Yuu is all the more special cause you wouldn't expect guys like them to care this much, but they do, because Yuu accepts them for they are, despite all their faults, and loves them, and they, in turn, just want to return the favor.

Because they're not villains and Yuu won't ever allow anyone, including them, think otherwise.

I really love writing about Yuu and these silly boys, so I have every intention to take good care of myself so I can continue doing so. You don't need to worry about my overworking myself since I've never been the type to forget to sleep/hydrate/eat cause I'm actually quite lazy irl and I really love to sleep/eat 😂

But thank you so much for your kind words! It really means a lot to me to hear that I have such a kind, wonderful reader like yourself supporting me 😊🥰💕💕💕

And please don't apologize for the long ask! I honestly love reading long comments/asks, so they're always welcome ❤

Moving onto your question, I want to keep what event I'll be covering next a secret, just like I normally do, since the first chapter will get posted on Christmas Day, and there's nothing better than a Christmas surprise, right? XD

However, I will tell you this: It won't be Port Fest that comes next, even though a Jack-centered fic really is the ideal Christmas present, I must admit, and that's totally not my bias talking lol 😂

For the record, I don't follow an order or anything like that when I post events. I typically just post whatever event I feel like posting at the time, although I do try to post seasonal events at the right time of the year when I can, like what I did with the first three Halloween events and the Sam's New Year Sale event.

The next event I'll be posting is one I chose to post next because it actually gets referenced in my Port Fest event fic as well as other event fics, so in order to avoid confusion, it's best that this fic comes next.

Plus, it's a really long fic, my longest TWST fic to date, which is ideal for me since, during that time, I can continue working on my 2024 JPN Halloween fic and also eventually start on my Tsum 3 fic, one of which will likely come after this long fic finally ends.

I hope you'll be looking forward to it! 😊 Also, thank you again for this lovely ask! It seriously made my morning and will surely be the highlight of my day 🥰💕💕💕💕

[bromcommie]

MAXX! :))) hope you are well.

for the emoji fanfic ask game ;)

👀🎶🎢❌🤲✅

Sorry for so many haha, you don't need to answer them all, but I'm very curious!

Hiii thank you for the abundant ask<3

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

This might not be a particularly interesting answer but the only thing that I’ve really been trying to work on has been the structure and pacing of the next few chapters of orpheus, since I have them all mostly written but can’t get to a place where I’m really happy with them. I might be overthinking it. Unfortunately I also just haven’t had the time + energy to sit myself down and really figure it out. :( Ergo all the snippets, which is the only way I can get something out at least.

In slightly better news: I kind of have the next two installments in the I clawed my way into the light series finished?? Sam and Steve and their collective and individual issues are finally getting their moment in the strange, poetry-question-mark spotlight!

However I’ve got some intense life stuff coming up so it might be a month or so until I post any of the aforementioned in full 😭

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

I usually do, and I have unhealthily elaborate playlists for all the characters + some fic-specific ones, but recently I’ve found listening to anything with distinct words in it messes with my concentration. But in terms of what’s being playing on loop: Dorma and to a lesser extent Marionette by Keaton Henson (all of his instrumentals are *chefs kiss* but in general I’ve just been having a Keaton renaissance when it comes to stevebucky. Welcome back 2016 I guess)

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

I’m a “never say never” kind of person, but… Hydra Trash Party. Which, I know, is ironic considering one of the very few fics I have up right now features Steve/Rumlow, but that one while still meant to be kinda fucked up is very much purposefully neither here nor there (and non-explicit). I just personally don’t enjoy reading HTP and it’d probably mess me up way more than I’d like to try and write. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

Answered this guy here!

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

This is…not even a snippet, tbh, but also I don’t know when I’ll actually have the time to rework/finish this, so. Just for you, a very long Natasha-focused (plus) wip half-scene under the cut:

“Most other animals only smile when they mean to attack. Did you know that? You should never hold your hand out to a dog whose gums you can see,” Ivan’d said, dabbing at the bloody bite on her chin with a towel that smelled like a distillery, impish twist to his thick mustache. “Or a man who smiles too much, for that matter.”

Natasha only saw the dog once after that. A month later Ivan hadn’t come back to the house for a week and she went out looking the next day, winding her way out of the dead-end street and all the way up Nevsky Prospekt, looping past the crowds gathering water out of shelling holes and the hospital that was now blackened by fresh, smoldering ruins. She walked until the light on the horizon had grown tired and purple, until her legs had almost given out and she had to sit down on the icy pavement. The body of a frail old man lay face down on the ground by the side of the road across from her, his cap thrown back a few meters away and the bald top of his head unnaturally caved in, matching the bruised coloring of the sunset.

It took her a long moment to notice the dog, its bent form and the crumpled body forming a singular silhouette.

The memory is transmuted, stretched thin and faded in places – from time, for a change, she thinks, instead of just manipulation. But she still remembers her hand closed around a solid weight in her pocket, a comfort against the deafening pounding of her heart. She remembers the dog with its lifted head, its snout soaked red and sickly gums anything but bloodless for the first time. Remembers that split second of hurling the brick at it with all the might her thin body could manage.

It wasn’t a thought-out act or even self-preservation, really. The dog had been far away and otherwise preoccupied. It wouldn’t have bothered her. The reasoning was bone-deep and nauseating: she hadn’t eaten in two days, the only person who had cared for her was gone, and the sight of the blood had made her stomach growl. That brick was her only defense against a world tilted entirely off its axis.

It was a while before she fully understood what Ivan had meant by that joking addendum to an otherwise plain instruction, too cryptic for her mind to decipher at that age. It took one too many broken bones and one too many greedy hands on her body and one too many lifetimes lived unwillingly for it to fully translate.

Now, looking at Rumlow grinning that familiar killer smile and thinking he’s hit gold, it’s crystal fucking clear.

It isn’t new, really. She’s met many men like him, often enough that the novelty of exposing them has worn off: ordinary men, utterly predictable in their enjoyment of violence and small in the way of not being able to shape their fear into something more useful. Men who thought their want for power made them anything other than a soft target. Men who thought that, when the time came, they'd be above begging for their life.

It gets boring, after a while, how quickly they all learn. She should know. It’s what gave her her name, back before she decided to hang up that particular title, trade it in for an upgraded version, a cleaner image. Black Widow, Avenger! has a far better ring to it than Black Widow, assassin.

Just because you stop calling a thing something doesn’t mean it stops being it, of course. It might forget, for a while, become domesticated; but the nature is still there.

The children of the Red Room all understood that from the time they could walk. The Soldier understood that, or at least well enough that they had to keep burning it out of him.

“Shit. Is that what this is, then? Really?" Rumlow is saying, still derisive through cracked teeth, still playing a game he thinks he knows the rules to. "You got yourself a spot on the five o’clock news under Captain fucking America and suddenly you think that makes you the guy with the bigger stick? That that changes fuck all for you?”

“Oh, no. Believe you me, I tried being that guy. It didn’t end well for me. Or anyone else, really.” She inches the chair forward, the scrape of the metal loud in the empty apartment, and makes her voice drop to a conspiratorial tone. “But you wanna know what I realized? There are always going to be little men with big sticks, and most of us will never get to be them. And it turns out it doesn’t matter all that much in the end.”

“Big or little, every stick has its breaking point. Every weapon has its expiration date. You live through a regime or two, and you start to catch onto that real quick.” She cocks her head at him with a pensive expression, fingers running absent over that same old thin line under her chin by habit.

In retrospect, the dog she came to understand much quicker than the advice. Natasha had been hungry and afraid most of her life, too.

It’s not the only scar she has by far, but it carries the most straightforward memory. For years it served as a reminder, as banal as it was, of what trust was worth; of what you could do when you got your grubby little hands on it.

“I suppose they wouldn't teach you this since the shelf life of your usefulness was never meant to be all that long, but let me tell you a secret, Brock,” she continues, flipping the knife back the right way around and leaning in. Sunny side up, Yelena used to call it, wry. Drive it in far back enough, right past the optic nerve, and everything spills right out. She doesn’t miss the way Rumlow’s eyes track the motion, the whites showing just enough; the first crack in the facade. "You don't beat the guy with a big stick by getting a bigger one. You do it by making him think he's got you under his boot, you understand? That he’s got you all figured out. You beat him by making your spine less breakable than the stick.”

Here’s the other thing about trust: if you keep yourself in the business of lying to earn it, that’s all people start to expect from you. Your loyalty is immediately suspect. So is your anger. You keep yourself leashed for long enough, everything becomes a dishonest front, even to yourself.

Like anything else in life, it becomes a habit. A very useful, easy one, at that. Or at least until one day you wake up and you realize that the parts of you you were working to protect are dying out; withering. They’re forgetting their own name.

The attempt at a headbutt is predictable at best. She backhands him for it, follows up with the handle of the knife on the second strike for good measure.

“Now that wasn’t very smart, was it?” She says, admonishing. “And to think we were getting somewhere.”

“Was that sermon meant to get me to talk?” Rumlow manages after a heaving moment. There’s a long gash down his cheek that’s deepened, bleeding steadily onto his front. It paints less than a pretty picture with the swelling that’s already pinkening up, bringing the angry criss-cross of scarring over the rest of his pale face into sharp relief, but it feels strangely at home. Not that artistic vision’s ever been her strong suit. “Because if you think getting smacked around some really counts for anything other than good foreplay, you’ve really lost your touch.” He looks back up to grin at her, a useless show of fearlessness. “Hell, ask Rogers. I’m sure that’ll be an interesting conversation.”

But fuck, it’s hard work, breaking a habit. Even harder work: honesty. Graceless and inarticulate and inefficient, like the feeling boiling back up in her now as she looks at Rumlow, the bloody flash of his canines in the dark, and thinks of that paralyzing feeling on the wrong side of an OR window, the shameful horror of letting the world be spun on its axis and pulled from under her again. Thinks of Rogers with his broad shoulders curling in and in and in, the whole of him turned inside out in a deserted parking lot. Trust given and earned.

The next blow has Rumlow spitting teeth.

"Nah. Just thinking out loud." The knife stops half an inch under his eye, makes a home in the oasis of bruised yet unmarred skin.

Rumlow doesn’t flinch. For all of his talk, he still knows better. But she can see how his whole body freezes up, an uninterrupted taut line; the exact moment it registers for him, just how much of the picture he’s missing.

Volchonok, Ivan had called her for a while, in those early days. It’d never stuck like Black Widow did, never had the same marketing potential, but it’d never really stopped applying, either. Hungry and afraid and alone and willing to kill for the things that made her less so.

The name might’ve changed, the circumstances. The nature didn’t.

Natasha smiles; too many teeth, bloodless. "How much can your spine handle, do you think?"

It’s all too easy, in the end, to let the leash go.

(I’m sorry??)

[happy-tori-friends]

Birthday Headcanon List

As promised I finished the birthdays today. Somehow a lot of them ended up in the same months. RIP to December, not a single representive.

Flippy/Fliqpy: October 2nd, the day Party Animal aired, and the only date that will have a reasoning related to a specific episode. Fliq just considers it his own birthday as well. He doesn't really care though - having the same birthday is just more convenient for him, because he already sees himself as the same age as Flippy. It's just easier to keep track of.

(Some consider it to be in late May because of Hide and Seek's air date / Party Animal was uploaded to YouTube in late May too + it being said he was a gemini somewhere, but... it's my fic series I do what I want. I also. chose this because I jokingly made a Fire Emblem Awakening avatar of him and picked this date because I didn't know at the time. I have the gay mod. He married Lon'qu before I stopped playing.)

Lifty and Shifty: May 24th. You two can be late May geminis, juuust like me. (I love projecting onto the faves :]) This one's based off Vibes rather than anything else, but it does mean Oblivion started after this date because they're already 19. Probably starts right after their birthday? I know I have to do some editing already but when I get a concrete timeline I may have to edit one line in the first work? I might just edit it to where Shifty doesn't mention how old they are in the first place anyways.

Splendid and Splendont: April 28th, national superhero day! ...Yeah. This is the route I'm going, for the sillies.

Pop: May 16th, national barbecue day. Predestined to love doing it.

Cub: September 9th, national teddy bear day.

Cuddles: April 4th, international carrot day.

Giggles: August 19th, national bow day.

Toothy: August 22nd, the second national tooth fairy day. This was the last one I did and the first date is already someone else's birthday.

Petunia: March 21st, national flower day.

Handy: March 11th, national tool day.

Disco Bear: July 2nd, national disco day. In New Zealand. Doesn't matter where though, as long as it's somewhere. First one I noticed not being America specifically.

Flaky: June 10th, anxiety awareness day.

Nutty: November 4th, national candy day. I considered Halloween but I think this fits a teensy weensy bit better.

Sniffles: February 28th, national science day in India. Surprised there isn't one in the USA.

Lumpy: January 25th. Moose day.

Lammy: October 26th. I wanted more variety, haha... This is the date of hug a sheep day in 2024.

Mr Pickels: November 14th. That's national pickle day. I figured he could be included because why not.

Russell: September 19th, talk like a pirate day.

Mime: April 17th, world circus day. (According to some sources, at least. Some say the third Saturday in April, some say the 17th.)

Mole: February 2nd. Groundhog Day. It's not the same, but they made Resetti do it in Animal Crossing. He'll never see his shadow, though.

Cro-Marmot: January 1st. For some reason, I think this is funny.

[celestie0]

ELLIEIEIEIEIE hi 💗💗

bae you should’ve HEARD the squeal i let out when you posted 😭 i like rolled around on my bed and kicked my feet for a good minute or two IM SO GLAD YOUR BACK BAEEE 💗

also bae omg im realizing how many mistakes i made on my most recent ask omg its so embarrassing 😭😭 im assuming you understood what i meant tho? 😭 IN MY DEFENSE I WAS ON THE TRAIN SO IT WAS BUMPY AND I DIDNT WANT PPL SEEING MY PHONE 🫠 like have you ever been in public and then someones looking over at your phone?? SHIT HAPPENS TOO OFTEN I SWEAR.

bae missing gojo so bad rn i turned to character ai 😓

anyway do u remember C?? yeah so i confessed and uh 🧍‍♀️he kinda just brushed it off and brought up another girl 😭 BUT GET THIS. THE OTHER GIRL IS ONE OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS. like imagine you’re texting a girl who’s been your friend SINCE YOU WERE KIDS and KNOWING she has a crush on you and then you still bring up one of her closest friends relationship status. LIKE??? i’m being so fr when i say this i cried. i called my friend D in TEARS after i finished talking to C and D was just like “yo wait what happened?” and then i had to explain AND IT TURNS OUT C HAD BEEN ASKING ABOUT MY FRIEND FOR A WHILE. they danced together once at a party and apparently hes had a crush on her ever since??

okay but enough abt C,, hes an asshole and i never want to speak to him again (i still like him very much and i still need him but im tryna cope lolol) 💗 how’ve u been bae?? i hardly ever send in asks anymore so i feel like we don’t interact as often 😞 omg bae do u have any show recommendations?? i’ve been dying to watch something new lately but all the shows my friends recommend are ones i’ve seen already 😓😓

anyway bae thats all 💗 i hope you were doing well on your hiatus (even though it was short!) and i can’t wait for the next kickoff update ‼️ byebye and i love uuuu

-🦌

hiii my lovely <33 OMG you're too fucking sweet i swear you make me smile everytime i see you in my inbox. yes it's nice to be back i missed everyone lots :'') i still might take it a lil easy tho haha i realized during my hiatus i've gotta just spend less time on tumblr between my fic updates kdjfhsdkfjl

haha yes i hate when ppl look at screens. but i always used to look at people's screens during lectures in college to see what they're up to and what they're ordering on amazon HAHA i guess it's human nature to be nosey asf

omg NOOOO babe that's horrendous fuck C i'm so sorry you went through that :(( you deserve sm better than that. aww bb whatever helps you cope is valid, but i do think that maybe it's time to let C go...you confessed n did what you could, and even if he didn't like you back, he should've treated your confession w care n respect. the way he reacted is major red flag!! i'm sorry though, i know you've known him a long time, so that has to be really tough to go through :'') chin up bb, i promise you'll find better guys out there that will treat you w the care you deserve

i've been okay!! i had my last day of work on thursday which was kind of bittersweet, i cried in front of my PI LOL (he's an old german man and he's always been very sweet to me n i'm really gonna miss him aaa) i had social plans the past couple of days which was fun but i'm kind of an introvert so i spent today recharging my social batter haha.

ooo i've been watching bojack horseman recently!! i like it, it's funny and realistic, but i've heard it becomes a total shitshow (not as in it becomes a bad show, it's still a great show BUT the characters kinda stress you out)...i really like it, i've been recommending it to people! i like shows that are kind of cynical commentaries w an overlay of comedy though HAHA so if you're into that too, i'd recommend it. if you wanna watch a really good romance show, i'd recommend 'one day' on netflix!! it's like a slow burn friends to lovers, and the acting in it was phenomenal. no spoilers but i will give a heavy angst warning.

thanks bb!! yes my hiatus was good haha i appreciate you sm <33 love u tooooo darling