#I'm just trying to see myself separate from my parents and my family and as an individual who can and must go get the life she wants

[cheriladycl01]

Come train with me - Sebastian Vettel x DaneOlympicAthletics! Reader

Plot: Sebastian Vettel asks to train with his Olympian Girlfriend for one day to see the difference in Formula One training and decathlon training.

"Okay, so what do you do when I normally am on a race weekend. I want to do your training with you!" he smiles looking at you.

"Are you sure it's pretty intense!" you say, knowing that your routine could end up being a whole day thing.

"Leibling! You forget that I'm an athlete myself!" he says, pulling you into a kiss before ripping the covers off the pair of you and getting up.

"Okay, get your running gear on baby" you smile before entering the bathroom and washing your face with some water. You change into shorts and a sports bra and ended tying your hair up in a low ponytail.

"I'm ready!" he smiles zipping up his long-sleeved running shirt. You walk him down to the kitchen and pour two glasses of orange juice for the pair of you.

"Drink up" you smile and he does, pretty much taking the small glass in one long gulp whereas you slowly take it down.

"Okay, we're going out on a run 5k, and do 5 100m sprints at each 1000 bench mark!" you say as you lead out the back of your home to the woodland trail you used for running.

"That doesn't sound too hard!" he smiles, pulling you in for a kiss before you dart off starting the first 100 meter sprint. He does struggled to keep up with you during the sprint to the point you had to jog on the spot to wait for him after the check point.

He wasn't out of breath when he got to you, and both continued on with the run.

"Okay, finished that awful run, what next?" he asks.

"Go to the home gym, do some squats and lift some weights before showering and time for some breakfast!" you smile and you both walk down the trail and into the back door. Your dog, Polly comes running up to the both of you and jumps into his dad's arms.

You cheekily snap a picture of them before you make your way over to the gym.

You hop in the home gym bathroom to wash while Seb goes upstairs into the ensuite.

Once you've finished you go to the kitchen, pulling out the porridge your nutritionist and private chef made for you along with the pre-cut fruits to add to it.

You hand Sebastian the other portion which he thanks you for, he mixes his fruit into the porridge whereas you leave yours alone on the side.

"Now where do you go?" he asks.

"Well, I go to the training centre. I have two separate days when doing a decathlon and I try to train for the event I'd being doing on that day! So, we just did the 5k with the sprints in it for the 100m sprint I'd complete first. Now we'd be training for discus throw, then pole vault which we both know I'm terrible at, then we'd break and have lunch. Then my fav which is Javelin throw before rounding of with the 400m which again we class a this mornings run!" you explain the daily plan for day 1.

"Oh! That sounds good to me!" he says and you both pack up a lunch to take with you before leaving for the car.

He drives both of you to the training center. It was very large holding an athletics field in the back that had the perfect running track with a centre piece where you could do long jump, or throw javelin spears. And then inside there was things for high jump and pole vaulting.

You spend the afternoon there, taking a break halfway through for lunch where you introduced Seb to anyone he hadn't actually met yet.

"Thank you for bringing me back home!" you'd smiled at him happy to be back in the homeland.

Denmark, specifically Copenhagen always had a special place in your heart, but you'd moved to Germany with Seb after 8 months of dating.

So when he said that you guy's should get a home in Denmark it was all too perfect that you parents were attempting to downsize your childhood family home. You brought it from your parents and made some renovations a few years back but predominately were in Germany.

However, now that you were back for the summer break, on a little holiday you felt almost refreshed.

"Any-time, this is your home!" he smiles softly picking at his lunch trying so of the chicken.

"Mmmmm that's not true, my home is where-ever you are Skat!" you smile at him, pulling him in for a kiss which he kindly returns.

"I really really love you Y/N!" he says looking in your eyes holding that contact.

"Yeah? Well... I love you too" you smile, placing a kiss on his lips your fingers running through his hair.

"I know you do" he smiles.

You guys end up getting back on with the exercises and by the end he's lying on the mat needing a five minute breather.

"Come on old man, I know you've got more stamina than that!" you tease looking at his as he looks up at you.

"I think we've got to call it a day, home time?" he asks and you shake your head before nodding!

You end up driving you both home, him using the excuse that his legs were on fire after the amount of squats you'd made him do. Which you didn't mind, your husband had a fantastic array of vehicles. They ranged from a Porsche, to a Ferrari, to a Aston Martin his latest to the collection and you always loved driving his flash cars around.

You crank up the radio signing along to the radio while Seb leans his head against the window with his eyes shut lightly humming to the music.

This right here was the life you'd always dreamt off.

y/user

Liked by sebastianvettel

y/user: Showing my husband how an Olympic Athlete trains everyday. p.s he struggled :)

View all 134 comments

sebastianvettel: I didn’t struggle! You liar! <3

6hours ago

Your Instagram Story:

another day, another run

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @stupidandunnecessary @clayra-g @daemyratwst @honey-belden @moonypixel @lauralarsen @vader-is-hot @ironcowboycopnickel @itsjustkhaos @the-untamed-soul @beebo86 @happylittlereader @ziejustme @lou-larcher5 @thewulf @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @chillyleclerc @chanthereader @annoyingmoonballoon @summissss @evieepepi08 @havaneseoger08 @celesteblack08 @gulphulp @fandom1ruined2me @celebstories @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhh @georgeparisole @dakotatankbig @youcannotcancelquidditch @zzonsbeek @tallbrownhairsarcastic @mellowarcadefun @ourteenagetragedy @otako5811 @countingstacksandpanicattacks @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @hopexcroc @mirrorball-6 @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @bigsimperika @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @lilypadlover @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @the-fem1n1ne-urge @21stcenturytaegi @dark-night-sky-99 @spideybv28 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @kapsylia @laneyspaulding19 @lazybot @malynn @cassielikereading @viennakarma @teamnovalak @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @jlb20416 @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @seomako @urdad-hot @formula1mount @tinydeskwriter @butterfly-lover @ironmaiden1313

[kushnovice]

Spinning My World

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Stark! Reader

Synopsis: Reader tends to the avengers wounds constantly and when Tony opens an emotional wound in the reader, Bucky is there to help.

wc: 2.4k

Warnings: my first bucky fic, medical, wounds, tending to wounds, sibling rivalry, mention of dead parents, fluffy love, slow-burn

AN: Female reader, fluffy, lots of mistakes, self indulgent (Pictures are not mine nor are any characters part of this)

What makes the earth go round? to most people it's money, to others it's family. To me, it's love.

I grew up with Tony Stark, my older brother. He was never that big on affection which was something he picked up from our parents and because of that, Tony and I aren't as close as we once were before our parents died. I spend most of my time making sure the house is always put together and cooking food for Tony and Pepper. I always feel a little guilty as I haven't achieved as much as my older brother and living with him and all of his fancy things just rubs it in. I also spend a lot of time studying. Since we have the money, I am attending an Ivy League school online. Unlike Tony, I don't like robots and technology, I prefer to help people. I am majoring in Medical Science as well as minoring in Psychology, which the amount of work is unbearable.

I sigh as I close one of my textbooks, my notebook, and my laptop, leaving them on the desk in my room. I make my through the long winding halls and into the kitchen, the tiles on the floor leaving my feet cold as I walk. I flick on the light as I walk in and take a deep breath, finally feeling at peace. The kitchen was always my safe space since Tony never cooked for himself, neither did any of the avengers. It was my own tiny world of peace.

I smile softly to myself as I make my way to the sink, I start to wash my hands while humming a song. "Friday, can you play (song name)?" As the song starts playing, I feel more comfortable as I start pulling what I would need from the fridge and the cabinets. I then fill up a pot of water and put it on the stove to boil and preheat the oven before I start separating and seasoning the chicken. I then start to cut up some veggies before checking on the pasta that I am making. After everything is cooking, I take the time to dance in the kitchen, just enjoying the music and how it flows through my body. That was until I heard the door open. I jerk my head to see who it is, only to be stunned by the sight in front of me. There he was, the most beautiful creature this world had ever created, but he was drenched in blood. Without thinking, I walk right up to him and start to examine him from what I can see. "Oh buck, what happened this time?" I ask as I eye him up and down for injuries, feeling better after not finding any serious ones. Bucky sighed deeply, "The mission was hijacked. I'm not the only Injured one." I sigh deeply as I take the food out of the oven and put the veggies and sauce into the pasta. Then, without a second thought, i make my way to the medical clinic, which I pretty much run.

I put my coat on and wash my hands again before putting on gloves. I make my way into the emergency room that we have to see Tony laying on a gurney. I immediately start to cut his shirt and pants off as I examine his body, the deep wounds showing no mercy as they continue to bleed. I sterilize the wound and start stitching him up and taking my time to make sure it's perfect.

After a few hours, I was done with making sure Tony was alright and had checked out all of the other team members. I look at the clock and sigh deeply when I realize that it is close to 1 in the morning. I make my way through the winding hallways again and I stand outside of Buckys room. "Hey Buck, are you awake?" I ask softly knowing his super human hearing can pick up my voice, and sure enough because the door unlocks and slides open revealing that he had just got out of the shower. I blush slightly as i try not to stare at his bare chest, "oh um...sorry I was just coming to give you a quick check up..." I shuffle awkwardly at his door but he nods softly and lets me in his room.

The smell of Axe Body spray and Midsummers Night circle the room. I sit Bucky down as I start to stitch up a few of his wounds. It stays mostly silent, neither of us knowing what to talk about until Bucky speaks up, "aren't you tired?" I furrow my eyebrows, "why would I be tired?" Bucky sighs deeply, "we go on these missions almost daily and you're the only one who gives us medical help, isn't it tiring?" I look up from his stitches to smile softly at Bucky, "No, it's not tiring. If anything, it gives me a purpose and makes me a hero like you guys." I giggle to myself at how corny that sounded before going back to stich bucky up.

After I am done, I make sure I didn't miss any dry blood before I stand up, "make sure you eat dinner, I don't know if the others did yet but you need to eat." I smile at him to which he gives me a small smile at the end of his lips. "I did eat already, it was delicious." I smile at him as I watch him put his shirt back on, "good good, I tried a new recipe today so I'm glad it is good." I smile to myself thinking about how Bucky enjoyed my food. "Did you eat yet?" Bucky asks with a furrowed eyebrow and I'm left shocked, normally i'm the one asking that question. "I was about too, then all of that happened," I smile at Bucky but his facial expressions don't change this time. "You really should eat." I nod my head and start to make my way into the kitchen to see a huge mess of plates and bowls and forks all over the place and all of the food gone. "at least they liked it" I smile to myself as I shrug off my coat and take off my gloves, "Friday, some music please" I speak as I start to pick up the plates and bowls and utensil's and place them in the sink. I then pick up all the trash and wipe down the counter while dancing around the kitchen. I spend a few hours cleaning, until it is spotless before I turn off the music and realize I wasn't alone. As I go to grab my coat and turn off the light, I hear a voice, "Aren't you going to eat?" I whip my head around, looking for where the voice came from until I can see Bucky, just outside the door. "there was no more left, i'm glad everyone enjoyed it." I smile at him but he doesn't smile back, he makes his way into the kitchen and starts grabbing stuff. "woah woah woah what are you doing?" I ask as I watch him start up the stove. "You need to eat. More than any of us." Buckys voice is stern and emotionless but I can tell that he cares. "I'm alright, I'll be up in a few hours to cook breakfast anyways." I look at the time and then at Bucky who then turns to me with furrowed eyes again his eyes studying me and trying to figure me out as he looks me up and down. "Why do you cook for everyone? Why do you go out of your way for everyone? I don't get how that benefits you." I sigh deeply, "I don't do it for me, I do it for you guys. You guys are heros and are saving the world every day. the least I can do is cook you guys a warm meal and make sure you guys don't get too hurt." "But why?" Bucky asks as he cracks open an egg and starts to cook it. "You guys deserve it, you deserve the best." I smile at him softly, watching his movements while I think. "Why do you save the world?" I ask while watching his movements. He seems relaxed and calm "Because if I can help save the world then there's hope to save myself." He speaks in a quiet whisper, "why do you save us? why are you so interested in medicine?" He asks with seriousness, trying to understand me better. "I was never taught self defense so I save the world in the only way I know, medicine." Bucky turns to look at me, "you don't give yourself enough credit, no one does." I can hear how he sighs softly. I let myself smile, knowing this was his way of showing he cared. Bucky finished cooking the food and he made two plates, setting one in front of me while he sat across the table from me. He immediately downs his food within seconds leaving me to take awhile to finish my food. When I'm finished eating, I grab our plates and put them in the dishwasher. When i make my way back into the dining room, Bucky is watching me as soon as I enter the room. "What? Is there food on my face?" I jokingly ask, with a smirk on my face as I make my way back to sit down. Bucky snorts softly at my comment, "No, I just don't get how someone could look so pretty after working for so many hours." Buckys voice is soft but his eyes are full of emotion as his hands fold on the table. I feel myself melt under his gaze as my cheeks start to burn, "Oh, uhm...thanks..." I giggle lightly, "You aren't too bad looking for someone who just got stitched up." I reply causing bucky to be taken aback.

"Why are you two up at 2 in the morning?" Tony asks as he walks into the dining room in his black robe that is barely covering his bare chest and his blazers. Tony somehow still has his shades on as well as his slippers on as he sets down some coffee and a sandwich at the table and sits down. "I was just making sure your sister ate after giving everyone medical exams." Bucky replied as he stared blankly at tony as he ate. "Interesting." Tony replied quickly as he started to eat. "I'm glad that your mission didn't go to badly, not many people were injured." I smiled at Tony as I recall the injuries that everyone had got. Tony sighed as he swallowed the food in his mouth, "Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?" I roll my eyes at how immature Tony still is after all of these years. "Somebody's cranky." I snort to myself, Tony glares daggers at me. "Somebody needs to shut up." I smile at Tony, now enjoying fucking with him. "I don't have enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel." I smirk at Tony, thinking I got the better up. "Frankly, I don't care. Just like how he never cared about Mom and Dad. You know who killed them right?" Tony asks as he glares between Bucky and I. "If you're insinuating that Bucky killed our parents then fuck you!" I yell in Tony's face, not able to control my anger as I get up and storm off. Bucky looks at Tony as Tony finishes his sandwich, not purposefully glaring but staring deeply at him causing Tony to get uncomfortable and scramble out of the room.

Bucky sighs deeply as he makes his way to my room, thinking of the right words to say as he ends up right outside of my door. "Hey...I know Tony's words really hurt but I'd like to tell you my story, not what you've heard from files but my life the way I lived it, when I had control of my life." Bucky expected no response honestly, who would want to talk to their parents murderer? Surprisingly the door swung open as Bucky looked in at my small trembling figure on the floor, a pang in his heart caused him to lose his breath seeing her in such pain.

I lift my head to meet Buckys soft eyes as he moves to sit on the bed next to me. His voice was kind but also firm as he told me all about his life, from his time in Brooklyn with Steve all the way through Hydra, he spoke about my parents last almost as if to save me the pain. "Your parents...they were a mission I had to carry out while apart of Hydra, or else I would have died as well as them...I wish I never had too..." Bucky sighs deeply as he looks at the ground. "You don't have to be my friend or even be nice to me, but I just wanted you to know that I never wanted to hurt anyone." Bucky softly got up, expecting to be kicked out before he felt my hands wrapped around his human arm. "I want to be your friend. It hurts knowing that you did that to my parents and I don't think that hurt will ever go away, but I do know that it wasn't you, that you didn't do it on your own will. I forgive you, Buck." I speak softly as I wrap my arms around Bucky's human hand, taking his warmth from him as it comforts my shaking body as I am able to relax into my bed and into Bucky, feeling safe and comfortable for once. I don't remember what happened after that other than my eyes forcing themselves closed as Bucky's mechanical arm softly strokes my hair.

I wake up to the sun shining brightly in my eyes causing me to instantly rub my eyes. I stretch with a small groan, wishing to be asleep still as I reach my arms above my head. I hear a rough chuckle beside me and open my eyes to see Bucky smirking down at me, "Morning, Doll." I feel my face go red at the nickname. I roll over to face him in the bed, "I'm sorry that I kept you here all night." I apologize softly as I yawn the sleepy feeling away. He smiled softly down at me, the golden sun reflecting off of his eyes making it look like tigers eye. "You have nothing to apologize for, darling." He used his fingers to swoop the stray strands of hair out of my face. "It was the best sleep I have gotten in awhile." He confessed as he pulled me a little closer, his body heat keeping me warm as he smiled down at me cheekily. "Don't smile at me like that, you know it drives me crazy..." I giggle at him softly as I place my hand on his face before leaning in. Bucky closed the gap as he took my lips in his, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me in closer as he chuckles into the kiss.

"How else would I make your world spin?"

[gadriezmannsgirl]

Hey! So I thought of this idea for Gavi, where yall have been dating for a while but he doesn't know exactly what date your birthday is and he ends up forgetting,but the reader doesn't mind because she's had bad experience with birthdays

This req has almost over a year, I'm truly sorry for the wait😭 but life's been pretty busy right now and I haven't had the time to sit down and write something😭😭 also, not prooferead😭💀

Calendar -P.G6

Summary: Your boyfriend doesn't know your birthday and you don't mind that, either.

"Amor"

"Mhm?" You grunt eyes not leaving your book

"Can I ask you something?" You hum letting him know you were paying him attention "You won't get mad?"

"It depends" You simply answer "Probably not. What's up?"

"When's your birthday?"

Right there, you froze. You let the book on your lap and looked at your boyfriend.

You and Pablo have almost a year and half dating, he was the sweetest, most caring, responsable, respectful guy you've ever known. He knew and remembered every single detail of you and of your relationship, so it took you by surprise to hear that he didn't know your birthday.

However, you didn't felt any kind of dissapointment or anger, your birthday was just another day and after your 6 birthday, you stopped celebrating it because of a bad experience, so you were just confused.

"You don't know when my birthday is?" He slowly shook his head

"I... don't" He said, you could see the nerves on his face, he was waiting for you to get mad.

"It's ________" You reply looking at him, you smiled softly "Better now?"

He repeated your birthday date under his breath only to gasp.

"That was two weeks ago!" You nod "¡Joder! ¿Como puedo ser tan mal novio?" (How can I be such a bad boyfriend?) "Venga, let's get dressed to have some dinner. I need to buy you a gift, two in fact, one for the lateness and the other for your birthday. We also need to set tomorrow a small party with our friends and family. I need to buy a cake for you as well-"

"Nononono. What are you talking about? No need"

"What do you mean there's no need? Of course it's needed! It's your birthday, we don't turn 20 every single year, we need to celebrate it"

"Pablo, I don't celebrate my birthdays" You state grabbing his hands and trying to calm him down

"¿Cómo que no celebras tus cumpleaños?" (How's that you don't celebrate your birthdays?)

"I just don't. Ever since I turned 6"

"But why is that?"

"I had a bad experience at my birthday party" You shrug shaking your head

"Puta madre" He cursed making you smile "I didn't know that"

"That's weird. I thought you asked my mom everything of me" You joke with a smile on as he grips your thigh

"I asked you some things too" You laugh

"I almost got lost in my birthday party. It was in the park but I walked and walked far away from the party, my mom and dad were attending the invited so my aunt was the one who had to look out for me and she did until her attention drifted to a kid who had fell from the swing"

"I spent around 5 hours lost in the park, it started raining and it got dark quickly, I was crying and shaking from the cold. My parents found me and I could only grip myself to them so bad. I didn't wanted to spend the rest of my birthday there, I didn't even wanted to eat the cake nor open the presents, nothing. And that day I couldn't be separated from my mom, I glued myself to her"

"It sounds pretty stupid but I was so afraid of them not being able to find me and stuff. So I just kinda stopped celebrating my birthday because it reminds me of that not-so-good time"

"It's not stupid, amor. And I'm sorry"

"Why are you sorry for?"

"I didn't know about that and also I made you remember it"

"It's ok, baby. You didn't know but now you do"

"Can I just give you a small gif and an ordinary cake then?" You smile

"I'll make a small exception for you and only this time" You kissed his lips standing up "Where are we going for dinner?"

°°° °°° °°° °°°

Taglist: @gaviymarcsbride @stuckinaf4nfiction @elijahslover @azzpenswrld @http-isabela

[tsukinoakume]

RW&RB MovieAlex vrs BookAlex: A Rant

I'm late to the party on Red, White, and Royal Blue for a dumb reason and now I'm obsessed with it. OMG I WAS SO WRONG.

I love the book. I love the movie. I also love the difference between them that I find myself obsessing over: the lack of June.

I love June. I'm also not mad that they removed her from the movie, because I honestly don't think they had the time to do her justice. The important thing is that when they removed her, they split her personality and scenes between Nora and Alex. And the result is fascinating.

Combining June with Alex gives us a calmer, more emotionally mature, competent version of Alex. He is definitely not the hot mess that BookAlex is. (Don't get me wrong here: BookAlex is my favorite character.) But now it's implied that MovieAlex is better at keeping his temper, handles his shit without being micromanaged, advocates for himself more, and I'm pretty sure the speech he gives is his own. Probably with help, but still. Also not having divorced parents means MovieAlex doesn't have BookAlex's abandonment issues. It's never said that his parents' relationship is perfect, but it's implied that he's had a stable family background. MovieAlex still has flaws and he's not Nora Levels of Competency, but he's definitely a lot more balanced. And this actually changes his relationship with Henry, just a little.

Namely in reference to my two favorite scenes:

1) Storming the Castle.

BookAlex is a ball of rage in this scene, and it's GLORIOUS. Yelling at the windows, aggressively dripping everywhere trying to ruin the rugs, making rude comments about Henry's ancestors. He is defiant. He yells, Henry yells back. It ends in tears, but there's a lot of anger.

MovieAlex by contrast is quieter, more hurt. He hardly yells at all. (I rewatched this scene like 20 times for Repeat to be sure.) He's determined, and he doesn't back down, but you get to see that split second of fear in his eyes that Henry is asking him to leave. There's a lot more emotion and tears in this version. It's ... sweeter isn't the right word. Bittersweet, maybe.

Downside: The lack of transition in the morning from the book. I miss Alex expecting to be dumped, and Henry realizing he doesn't want Phillip's life before deliberately making the choice to be with Alex. Also the comment on Alex's hair, which made me giggle.

2) The Museum Scene

I know a lot of people are disappointed with this scene, and I feel the need to argue about why it's brilliant the way it is.

In the book, they go to the museum because Henry has made his choice, and now he's showing one of his favorite places to Alex. He's the one who brings up the music. He chooses to fulfill his fantasy with Alex there, and he chooses to play a song that embodies the romanticism of their situation, about being in love and not being able to let anyone else know. Your Song.

In the movie, they go to the museum when Henry's still trying to decide if this is something he can have, and he's sharing a part of himself with Alex when he talks about his fantasy. Alex is the one who chooses to fufill it, so of course he chooses a different song. For him, it's a song about how easy it is to love Henry. I Can't Help Falling In Love With You.

I also love that they changed Henry giving the ring to Alex to Alex giving Henry his key in return. I love the symbolism of Alex keeping Henry's ring safe for him, of their two homes side by side. But I also love the idea of exchanging parts of themselves. I love that they have those pieces of each other when they're separated and the emails are exposed.

The book tells the story better overall because it has the time to, and the bickering and friendship between the boys is everything. The movie makes me melt over the flirting and affection between them. I can't pick one over the other because both versions of this story are wonderful.

But emotionally mature MovieAlex and how soft he is with Henry, making sure Henry's taken care of? I am WEAK for that.

[yooms-posts]

God gave us two hands, two legs, two eyes, and two ears, but just one heart so that we could find the second and today I found my pair in you.

Characters: miles morales (both earth 1610 and 42), gwen stacy, hobie brown, pavitr prabhakar

Pairings: all of them x gn reader (separate)

Reader: gn reader

notes: reader is around the age of the charcaters don't be weird, mentions of fights and blood, reader could be seen as a person who speaks Spanish for miles, contains some spoilers for atsv

genre: fluff with a hint of angst 🤏

_________________________________

Before that look at this edit‼️ ITS SO DKDKOSJSIWB GO SHOW LOVE AND SUPPORT TO THE CREATOR

Miles morales (1610)

he is such a sweetheart fr 🤞

definitely gets nervous and shy when entering a relationship with you

his love language is definitely acts of service, physical touch and giving gifts

is shown in the movies that miles is a very good artist, I'm sure he'll give you a very precious gift made by himself

need help with anything? he's there trying too help, homework is getting difficult for you? he's ready to teach you easier methods

holding your hand to keep you close? you got it babe

i feel like he likes to kiss your forehead as a sign of affection

in moments of vulnerability, he would place his forehead against yours

meeting his parents of course, family means a lot too him

his mom and dad may be wary of you (sorry), but they start too loosen up when you interact with them more

they could tell that you were the right one for miles, and they couldn't be any happier

that was wayyyy before you knew he was spiderman

why? because he thought it may make you view him differently

after all he couldn't keep it from you, you were one of the important people in his life (and he was running out of excuses why sometimes he has to leave earlier on dates)

it was definitely some sort of a shock! being spidermans s/o? crazyyy

have i mention dates when the both of you sit at very high buildings? dont worry he's watching out for you

miles just swinging while you hold him tightly for dear life

helping to patch him up after a fight while scolding him for being reckless sometimes

sometimes he has to comfort you when you realise you could lose him due to his duties

best date views, best atmosphere

the both of you just leaning on each other, wrapped in a blanket watching the sunset? yea thats the life...

both of you making nicknames for each other

he would call you: mi luz (my light), bebé

*if you aren't familiar with spanish, you would definitely pester him and ask him for the meaning

you would call him: lindo (cutie), mi hombre (my man) if your feeling slightly playful, babe

trading clothings is common

his jacket? suddenly your in possession of it, your shoes or clothes that fit him? it's his turn to wear it

lots of photos taken, whether its good or questionable (you accidentally spilled water on him) it will be kept in his phone

Gwen stacy

i remember seeing her and questioning myself fr 🏳️‍🌈

anyways, your very precious to her i dont make the rules

like miles, nervous and shy when entering a relationship but leaning towards nervous

her love language is definitely acts of service and quality time

being spiderwomen definitely brings a challenge to the relationship

thats why quality time is very precious to her, any time your together is makes her happy

it doesn't have to be anyone talking or doing anything, she just want to be with you

acts of service? if you ever mention that you need something, she'll pick it up own her way back

kissing is very rare but when it does happen it always on the knuckles of your hand or on your cheek

inviting you over to her house for dinner, which lead to you meeting her dad, peter and aunt may

of course her dad approves you, he notice how she lits up even more around you

but after the incident where gwen loses peter, she unintentionally shuts everyone out

it causes a riff in your relationship because all you want to do is help but she's pushing you away

it got into an argument between the two of you and she accidentally slipped out that she's the heroine

that was the reason she was pushing you away, scared and afraid you might be next

comfort her, hold her, tell her that you aren't going anywhere, she needs that comfort

the relationship became better and stronger slowly

same thing as miles, you patching her up and muttering she shouldn't be too reckless

dates with her are always exciting, she would be showing you places where only her could acces due to her spider abilities

nicknames are the regular ones between the both of you

you would call her: my girl, babe and wifey (as a joke to tease her)

she would call you: dear, bae

its shown that she leaves her sweater/jackets in other people's room soooo...

yea, leaving her stuff at your room and taking it back a few days later

technically making it yours too, i dont make the rules 🤷‍♀️

Hobie brown

i wish british people are real 😔

i wanna say it would be a 'you fallen first but he fall harder' type of scenario

like it's impossible to not fall in love with him a little

love language? it's got to be words of affirmation and giving gifts

he would be those types who would be able to tell that somethings bothering you

he would reassure you if you ever feel bad about yourself or have bad days, he would be there to boost your confidence

remember how he made his own version of the watch to travel different dimensions?

then get ready for him to present to you self made gifts for you

whether it's like a pin or a accessory, he puts a lot of love and thought into it

he gives me the type to lazily pepper kisses on your face teasingly

but if he needs the comfort or other way round, one of you would cradle the others face and kiss the other

going to shows and pubs for entertainment

definitely invites you to watch his show, if you are there you bet his eyes stays on you

him casually entering your house (with your permission!!) at the most weirdest time

around 2am he's knocking on your window so you could help with with bandaging

the first time that happens is when you didn't know of his secret identity which worried you

fights don't really occur between the two of you since he knows what to say and not to say if things get heated

since gwen sometimes crashes at his dimension, she would have probably meet you

it's like a sibling bond between you and her, you sometime lend her your clothes and she tries to help around in the house

im not sure what his actual age is tho...if you know please tell me, its confusing some said he's around gwens and miles age some said he's 19-20

if he is 19-20, you and him would probably be like the older brother and older sibling to gwen

which later on include miles too (miles heard how kind-hearted you are when talking to gwen)

to be honest, eveytime your with him it feels like a date

he's unpredictable at times, making it exciting to figure out what he plans on the date

nicknames is common between the two of you

his nicknames for you: love, darling and hun (he rarely calls you that, it happens when he is sarcastically teasing you)

your nicknames for him: sweetheart, B (since his name is hoBie yk?) and babe

if your open to different types of clothing style, he would lend you his jacket

the both of you would trade small accessories with different styles to match each other

Pavitr prabhakar

my cutie patotie fr ( not trying to baby him in anyway!! he's just precious in my eyes)

he is so sweet and polite to everyone, so i wouldn't blame you if you fall for him

you know those confession letters? he would probably leave one at your locker

very understanding if you dont feel ready for any PDA at the start of your relationship

physical touch is his main love language followed by words of affirmation

if you are okay with being held, get ready to be held by him

his arms wrapped around your side and arms, he likes to hover near you to hold you

holds your hand almost everywhere and most of the time

he has a way with words definitely, he knows exactly how to make you laugh, how to make you smile or how to jokingly tease you

you mean the world to him, of course he would notice little things about you

definitely giggles when kissing you, whether it's on the cheeks or the tip of your nose

introducing you to his aunt, which she takes a liking to you :)

bringing some food made by his aunt to share with you

you already had suspicion that he was spiderman, you didn't say anything cause he looks so proud when keeping it a secret

eventually it ends up with him spilling it since he gets cuts the next day without proper excuses

which led you to remind him to care himself when doing patrols

proudly showing you off to people, your just amazing to him really

dates with him is very calming and stress-free

like doing each other's face mask or shopping for things together etc

nicknames has got to be cute for you two (or purposely cringy to get the other to not pay for the meal)

his nicknames for you: baby, babe, bae or my s/o

your nicknames for him: pav, my s/o or darling

i feel like he won't mind lending you his clothes, just give him a heads up first

like it could be his tie that you found cute or his pants that fits you nicely

Miles morales (42)

his whole design was just so sick and just so hdisbosjso?!

him and you? yea you wish...that actually came true congratulations ‼️‼️

it takes a long time to be his friend but as a partner? even longer but it's worth it

he just have issues like lots of them, he's got to know if he could depend on you for help

take your time and slowly tear his walls down, show him your trustable and reliable

his language would range from acts of service, words of affirmation and physical touch

physical touch is a 50/50 with him though, you have to reassure him it's fine if he doesn't want to show PDA

acts of service is definitely his strongest love language

for example, if he notice your too tired to do something he would wordlessly do it for you

do the same for him! he would deeply appreciate it

if you ever have bad days, dont worry he would be there telling you interesting stuff to distract you from it

once your relationship is secure and good, he introduce you to his mom and uncle

his mom already had a feeling that he was seeing someone by the way she notice he slightly smile at a text on his phone

when you meet them, his mom would welcome you with open arms

asking you if you have eaten the typical mother things you know?

his uncle though? he intimates you at first, once he notice you were good for miles he let's loose slowly

likes to kiss your hand generally, like the knuckles and palms

if he feels a little more bold, he likes to tease you by kissing the corners of your lips and ghosting above your lips before pretending nothing happened

that prowler business? you were bound to find out sooner or later

he trust you a lot, he asks you too sit down with him to properly explain why sometime he doesn't show up to dates early

that would be a massive relief for you, you were getting worried that he's starting to loose interest

which you have to mess up big time for his trust and loyalty for you to dissappear (don't)

dates would take place at the rooftops, blankets laid down with snacks to watch the sunset

you cant tell me he would have a soft smile glancing at you from time to time while watching the sunset

seeing that his spanish is more noticeable than miles 1610, his nicknames for you are all in spanish

his nicknames for you: mi cielo (my sky/heaven) , mi corazón (my heart)

*if you aren't familiar with spanish, you would probably try and search up the meaning before asking him

your nicknames for him: guapo (handsome), cariño or mi amor (my love)

i feel like he likes small accessories from you when trading clothing

it's like a reminder to him that his yours and your his

probably brings it with him everywhere he goes

________________________________

Wooo im finally done!! If theres any spelling mistakes tell me. I hope you enjoyes yourself. Im thinking of writing more itsv/atsv if i have time. Let me know what you think. :)

[collegeishardbutwritingisharder]

Yandere Kalim Al-Asim x Little Brother Reader Headcanons/Short Story(?)

Sunshine child time! I've actually had a good idea for Kalim for the longest time and I'm excited about it so let's go! Fun fact: when I started writing this, I just came up with a second brother for Kalim. I hate myself for this.

Warnings: Clingy Yandere

Kalim Al-Asim

Brother A:

You're the second oldest in the Asim line. It's also useful to note that you are the only one who is also Kalim's full brother.

You absolutely adore your older brother and the adoration is fully returned. You two are barely ever seen apart. Heck, when you both were tiny, if you were separated for two seconds, Kalim would start full on bawling. Your parents killed two birds with one stone and had you two share a room.

You two were basically the same person, mainly for the fact alone that you tried to mimic Kalim's every move. Your parents would start to call you 'Tiny Kalim' as a joke but it stuck for years.

"Kalim! Tiny Kalim! It's time for dinner!"

"Yay! Come on, Tiny Kalim! I heard that it's a whole buffet!"

"Coming! Is Jali joining us?"

"He should already be down there!"

"Okay!"

We both ran throughout the house to the dining room. We were so excited to eat what was made! We both enjoyed a big feast.

"I wonder if they have curry!"

"I hope that they have some coconut juice to drink!"

We both took our seats at the table and started bouncing up and down. Food always got us into an excitable mood.

"Alright, alright calm down."

"Jamil!"

"Jali!"

Jali was a nickname that I came up with for Jamil when I first started to learn how to talk. If I had a nickname, that meant I was going to give everyone else a nickname as well. I call Kalim Big Bro more often than not but sometimes, I call him Carpet Rider. He's really talented at flying a carpet.

"Here you go, Kalim."

Jamil set a plate of food in front of Kalim and made sure that nobody else touched the food. Kalim let out a light cheer before digging into his food. I had to wait for another twenty minutes before a servant brought me my food. I let out my own cheer.

I got my utensils and grabbed a big bite.

"Hehehe, Tiny Kalim!"

I felt a tap on my shoulder and I looked to see who it was. I turned back to see Kalim eat my food.

"Hey!"

"Hahahaha!"

This was always a normal interaction between you and Kalim.

When your other siblings came into the picture, you both tried to make sure that everyone felt welcomed into the family. All of the games that you would play would result in complete chaos. Mainly for the fact that everyone would lose who was It.

Your mother kept a careful watch over her two children to make sure that the other mistresses wouldn't dare hurt you two.

Although that doesn't stop them from trying to get you to hurt Kalim.

"Hey, Tiny Kalim. Come over here for a second will ya?"

"Huh? Yeah, do you need something?"

"Could you do me a favor and put the contents of this vial into your older brother's drink?"

"Maybe?"

"If you do, I'll make sure that you get a sweet treat~"

I just stayed silent but took the vial from the lady. She's the mother of my fourth and fifth younger siblings, who are very sweet to me. I don't want her to be thrown out and lose those two.

I looked at the vial a little closer and saw the skull and crossbones etched into the glass. Another poison... Why does everyone come to me to poison my brother? Thankfully, I know exactly what to do with this anyway!

"Hey! Hey, Mr. Ver!"

"Huh? Oh! It's Tiny Kalim! What brings you here?"

"I was just out on the town when I remembered you talking about how a weed completely took over your favorite flower bed. Do you think that this type of poison will clear it out?"

"Hmmm, let me take a little looksie."

Mr. Ver took the vial from me and poured it on a recently fallen leaf. It took only thirty seconds for the leaf to just shrivel up on itself. If Kalim actually drank that...

"Wow! Good choice, Tiny Kalim! Thank you for being so considerate!"

I only gave him a shaky smile and a quick nod of my head. I needed to go find Jamil and warn him.

"Tiny Kalim!!"

Nevermind, my job just got easier.

Kalim tackled me in a behind hug and squeezed extremely tight. I let out a laugh before enveloping Kalim's arms with my own.

"Hiya, Kalim! Do you know where Jali is?"

"Over here, (Y/N)."

I looked over to Jamil and I gave him a slight wave. I then looked back to Kalim.

"Big Bro, would you mind if I talked with Jamil alone for a few seconds?"

Kalim's smile dropped and his eyes became dull for like two seconds. It was like it never happened because his smile came back full force.

"Of course!"

There was a slight strain to his voice but I just brushed it off as a bad day. I grabbed Jamil's arm and walked out of hearing range while still able to keep Kalim in our sight.

"What did you want to talk about with me, (Y/N)?"

"Our father's third wife gave me poison to give to Kalim. I just wanted to warn you so you can keep a close eye on him."

"Hmmm, thank you for the warning, (Y/N). It's greatly appreciated."

I gave Jamil a nod. It's so weird to hear my actual name instead of Tiny Kalim. But it felt really nice.

This wasn't the only time you were given poison and then figured out how to get rid of it.

You were also given small weapons and some money but you were prepared for that as well. Whenever you got a weapon, you went to the hunters to find out if they could use it. They were willing to take whatever weapons you had and gave you even more money for them. Then you would take whatever money that you got from selling the weapons and the money that you were given and give it all to Jamil. The man needs the money more than anybody else does.

Sadly, your 'tricks' put a target on your back as well.

"Hrk!"

"Tiny Kalim?!"

I felt my stomach convulse and out came the food that I had just eaten. Normally, that wouldn't freak me out if it wasn't for the fact that there was also some blood in what I threw up. And my body wasn't done yet.

Jamil quickly grabbed some of my food and put it in a plant. The plant shriveled up, making my eyes tear up. I should have been expected to be poisoned.

"His food was poisoned. We need to get him to a healer!"

Kalim picked me up and sprinted towards the healer's office. My body was still heaving, trying to throw more and more up even though my stomach was empty. This was very painful.

"Please! Help my little brother!"

"Oh my! Please set him down!"

I felt the healer work and let out a sigh of relief. Kalim looked extremely terrified by the fact that I was poisoned. The amount of tension that I had in my body released and I blacked out.

When I came back to reality, Kalim was sitting by my side, clutching my hand tightly. I don't even think that blood could flow naturally in my hand with how tight Kalim was gripping it. I weakly tried to get him to let go of my hand but it notified him that I was awake and I got trapped in a bear hug.

It's safe to say that you could barely leave Kalim's side after that.

Kalim was terrified at the thought of losing his only full sibling and felt useless about the fact that he couldn't protect you.

He demanded that Jamil would also be at your beck and call for the fact that and I quote 'Tiny Kalim needs Jamil more than I could ever!'

It's also safe to say that Kalim was less friendly to your other siblings. Still be courteous to them but refusing to let them play with you.

"Tiny Kalim! Tiny Kalim!"

I turned around to see Malik and Maia, twins by the way, running towards me, holding what seemed to be new toys. Not that surprising considering their birthday was only two days ago.

"Tiny Kalim! We haven't seen you for what feels like forever! Come and play with us!"

"I would lo-"

"(Y/N)."

I turned my head to Jamil, who seemingly appeared out of nowhere. As always, he had a poker face on.

"Yes, Jali?"

"Kalim has requested your presence."

"Ah, I see."

I then turned back to the twins and gave them a sad smile.

"Sorry guys. But it seems like our older brother needs me for something."

"Awwwwww, but we really wanted to play with you."

"I know. How about this? As soon as I'm done with whatever Big Bro needs from me, I'll come and find you as soon as possible! Then we can play the night away!"

"YAY!"

Now with Malik and Maia happy once again, I started to follow Jamil to wherever Kalim was.

"You do realize that Kalim most likely won't let you go before it's way past their bedtime right?"

"Yeah, I'm just trying to figure out what he wants from me this time. This is the fifth time that he has called me today alone! It's over a hundred if you count the rest of the week."

"I did take count. With this call, the count becomes 134."

"Oh goodness. How long do those meetings take normally?"

"Six hours is the average that Kalim will keep you normally."

"I need to talk about this with Big Bro."

You tried to talk with Kalim about the current monopoly that he was trying to have over your time.

Kalim decided to pull one of his best tactics.

"Monopoly over your time? Do you really believe that I'm trying to be selfish? I'm just trying to protect you, Tiny Kalim!"

"Big Bro, I don't have any doubts that you're only concerned about my well being but! It has been feeling like you're trying to prevent me from hanging out with anybody else lately. Well, other than Jali."

"I'm quite hurt that you would blame me like this. I guess that you don't love me anymore."

"That's not true! I still love you, Big Bro!"

"Then why must you push me away so often?!"

Kalim's eyes were starting to well up with tears and were quickly overflowing. He broke down into tears while huge sobs escaped from his mouth. I felt my heart twist at the sounds. The feeling was awful in my chest. I walked towards Kalim before enveloping him in a hug of my own.

"Please don't cry, Big Bro. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings! I was just being dramatic! I won't push you away again."

"Do you promise?"

Kalim's eyes were so broken. The tears streaming down his face added to the pain in my chest.

"I promise."

Ever since that promise was made, Kalim made sure that you would never leave his side. Wherever Kalim went, he made sure that you were coming along or would tell Jamil to drag you along.

You can't really remember the last time that you were truly alone. Either Jamil was in the same room, staring from the corner or you would be right by Kalim's side.

This persisted until it was time for Jamil to leave for NRC.

Kalim and I were watching as Jamil was getting ready to enter a black carriage. A smile was present on my face while Kalim was basically vibrating with excitement.

"Bye, Jamil! Have fun and stay safe!"

"Yeah! It's going to feel slightly lonely without you around!"

"Hehe, it'll be fine without me. You two have each other after all."

After those parting words, Jamil entered the coffin and the carriage rode off with him. Despite the fact that he couldn't see us, Kalim and I were waving our arms in the air until the carriage was no longer in sight.

"You know? You're right. It already does feel a bit lonelier without him."

"I know! Either way, let's go back inside. I want to play some Mancala with you, Tiny Kalim!"

When Jamil left, your mother and father took extra precautions with you. Since Kalim's most trusted servant was no longer available, they upped your guard count to make sure that neither you nor Kalim would be left alone.

Eventually, Kalim's magic appeared and he showed your parents. Everybody was overjoyed for Kalim and threw a party to celebrate him.

Shortly after the party and two months after Jamil left, an invitation from NRC arrived for Kalim!

Everyone was enthused! Well, almost everyone.

"NO!"

"KALIM! Do not fight with me! This is a huge honor!"

"Not unless Tiny Kalim is coming along as well!"

I kept my ear pressed close to the doors while the argument persisted. Kalim tried to burn the invitation when he got it and it sparked this argument. Dad wasn't very happy with how Kalim was acting. But Kalim wasn't completely above throwing a mild tantrum.

I stepped away from the door before sitting between two of our guards. I looked at both of them but neither of them dared to meet my gaze. I closed my eyes and wondered about how we reached here. Kalim's possessiveness, my willingness to play along, Jamil leaving. Kalim has become basically entitled to all of my attention.

I'm mildly hoping that Mom and Dad say no. Maybe the separation will benefit both of us.

"WAHOO!"

But that scream tells me otherwise.

Yep, Kalim was able to convince your parents to pull some strings to get you a ticket into NRC as well.

You were two months late into the school year but since Jamil has been there, he was able to catch you both up to speed.

"JAMIL!"

Jamil's head whipped around so fast that I was afraid of his neck getting hurt. Kalim basically body slammed him to the ground while I was running to catch up with both of them.

"KALIM?!"

"Yep! Did you miss us?"

Kalim was slightly bouncing while still keeping a strong grip on Jamil's shoulders.

"Us?"

"Hi, Jali!"

Jamil then saw me standing a bit away from the two. I gave him a slight smile and wave. Jamil's face displayed shock before he schooled his expression. Kalim finally got off of him and stood up. Once Jamil was on his feet, I gave him a hug of my own. No point in knocking him back down.

Jamil cleared his throat before talking.

"What brings you two here?"

"We're joining NRC!"

Jamil's eyes widened and Kalim took that as a sign to elaborate.

"I'm able to use magic now after many years of practice! I kept trying and trying and trying. But now, it has finally clicked! I got a letter a few days ago and tada~! Now, we're here!"

"That explains why you're here. But why is (Y/N) here?"

"I'm here because-"

"How could I possibly let Tiny Kalim be on his own?! We've been together since he was born! Not to mention, how would I be able to keep a proper eye on him?!"

Kalim interrupted me again. He has been getting into the habit of speaking for me. I guess I'm to blame for that as well.

Jamil only nodded his head before muttering stuff under his breath.

NRC days seemed to be pretty much the same to you as days in the palace.

Hang out in Kalim's room, eat with Kalim, hang out with Kalim and go to classes with Kalim.

You had tried to make new friends with the people of the dorm but Kalim always sent Jamil to find you. It was amazing how he knew whenever you had free time.

"Isn't NRC so cool?"

Kalim and I were resting on his bed staring at his ceiling. He recently became dorm leader. How? We have no idea other than Crowley randomly telling him one morning.

"Yeah, I guess."

I haven't been able to see much of NRC if I'm being honest. The most that I've seen outside of Scarabia are the classrooms. Before Kalim goes to his after school activities, he drops me off in our room. And to add insult to injury, he also locks the door behind him.

"You guess?! Come on, Tiny Kalim! This place has basically everything! Plus, everybody is really nice!"

I wouldn't know, considering I can't talk with any of them since Jamil always comes and interrupts any conversation that I could have. I only nodded my head before putting a forced smile on my face. When did I lose my ability to be (Y/N) and became only Tiny Kalim?

That thought plagued me for the rest of the night. I couldn't even close my eyes. My thoughts were much too frantic for it.

The next day, you decided to do something that you haven't once thought of in your life.

You left the room while Kalim was asleep. You normally woke up early and waited for Kalim to wake up. But you really needed some alone time. Time to be (Y/N). Not Tiny Kalim.

You ran out of Scarabia to the main campus. You only really knew where the main building was so this was a good chance to learn more about it.

You first went to the gate and started to patrol the perimeter. The stars were your company for this nightly stroll! They were ten times better company than your brother or Jamil.

"I wish I paid more attention to Arqa's ramblings. He would know all of these stars by heart. And the constellations that are out at this time of year."

I spoke out loud to the stars. Nobody else was up at this time, which was mildly disappointing. At least back at Silk City, the night Bizarre would have many different faces. Some scary, some friendly, and some just faces.

I started to hum and dance with the cool air enveloping my body. I haven't felt this unburdened in forever.

"TINY KALIM!"

I felt a body collide with my own, sending both of us to the ground.

"Kalim!"

Kalim was snuggling into my front, his grip getting really tight. It was quite obvious that he had been crying again.

"WHAT HAPPENED?!"

"What do you mean?"

"WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?! I-I-I had to go to use the b-b-bathroom! AND WHEN I WOKE UP, YOU WERE GONE!! I-I-I-I THOUGHT SOMEONE KIDNAPPED YOU! I THOUGHT THAT I LOST YOU FOREVER, TINY KALIM!"

I listened to Kalim's crying before I saw Jamil walk up to us.

"He woke up the entire dorm to create a search party for you. That was very reckless."

I tilted my head down. My face felt so flushed from embarrassment.

"You should have left a note, (Y/N). I always thought that you weren't like Kalim but maybe... I should start calling you Tiny Kalim as well."

I felt my heart drop. Jamil was the only person who called me (Y/N). If he no longer does, would anybody remember my name?

Brother B:

You were the youngest (So far) of the Asim family. Your birth wasn't the biggest thing that has happened to the family but a few of your older siblings visited you the same day. One of those people was Kalim.

When it was his turn to hold you, Kalim felt something stir within his soul. He didn't know what exactly made you different from his other younger siblings that he has held. But he just felt such a connection with you!

There were plenty of times when you SHOULD have been with your mother that Kalim just took you instead. Whenever you needed to sleep, eat, or take a bath, Kalim would be the one to do it with you.

"Kalim! You need to stop taking (Y/N) whenever you want! I swear, if you keep this up, you'll become more of his mother than I am."

"But... (Y/N) likes to be with me! Right, (Y/N)?"

I babbled and put my fist in my mouth. I taste really nummy!

"See! He wants to be with me!"

Kalim would constantly run off with you. He took you to places that weren't really safe for your age.

Since your immune system wasn't as strong as a normal human being and you would normally get milk from your mother basically once a month, you would get sick quite often.

Kalim would feel mildly guilty since it was his fault but he would take the sickness as another thing to experience with you!

"Do you think that he's better yet, Jamil?"

Jamil took a breath before answering Kalim.

"No, Kalim. Look at him. His face is still flushed. Taking him out now would put him at risk."

I kept on crying. It was so hard for me to breathe! Plus I feel icky!

"I didn't mean to do that! You know that, right, Jamil?!"

"Yes, I know, Kalim. Come along. Let's give (Y/N) his medicine and let him sleep this sickness off."

A cup was put to my lips and a sweet syrup was in it. I drank it all up. What a sweet treat! I felt my eyes get droopy before I just passed out.

One year after you were born, Kalim was told that he was going to NRC after Jamil.

Kalim came up with a 'clever' plan.

He got special clothes to hide you in and snuck you into NRC without the Headmage or any of the other staff noticing.

"We're here! At our new home for a while!"

"Why are you shouting that, Kalim?"

"Because~~~!"

Kalim then reached into his secret pocket and pulled me out! I let out some giggles because it felt like I saw flying. Ooooo! Look! It's the grumpy guy again!

"Kalim... You're joking right? That's not actually (Y/N). Right?"

"Nope~! It's (Y/N) alright! I simply couldn't stand being away from him! I tried for one night. I had the caretakers move his crib out of my room and into his mother's but I couldn't sleep! What if he was crying?! What if he needed attention?! How was I supposed to know that he was safe if he wasn't with me at all times!"

The grumpy man just let out a sigh while Kalim spun me around in the air. He fell onto his bed with me on top of him.

"We're going to have so much fun here!"

Kalim took you to all of his classes, despite how much Jamil protested.

The staff would also raise an alarm but noticed that when you weren't there, Kalim wouldn't be able to focus and pay attention.

So they put up with you in their classes. Sometimes they would bring little toys for you to play with as well.

Eventually, letters started to come in. Letters from your mother.

"Hmmmmm."

I watched Kalim as he sat at his desk, looking at a piece of paper. I crawled over to him and started tugging on his pant leg.

"Huh? Oh!"

Kalim picked me up before setting me down on his lap. I looked at the paper too but it had weird scribbles on it.

"Your mother is quite upset with me, (Y/N)."

Kalim started talking and I just put my ear against his chest.

"She says that I shouldn't have taken you away from her. That I'm in the wrong for putting you at such risk. That I'm a monster who takes what doesn't belong to me. But that's where she's wrong, correct?"

I just tilted my head. I didn't really understand what he was saying.

"You do belong to me. You belong to me just as much as you belong to her. Just differently! I'm your older brother! It's my job to make sure that you live the best life that you can live! It's her job as the mother to bring you to life! She's already done her part of the job and now, it's my turn!"

Kalim gave me a huge smile, which I returned.

"See! I knew that you would agree with me!"

Kalim brought me into a hug. I reciprocated it but I was blind to the dark glint that appeared in his eyes.

"Maybe... I should send someone to remind her that she's done with her job."

[i-heart-hxh]

Do you think killua realizes the intense feelings for gon are actually romantic in nature? He is still a kid, one who was pretty sheltered in life until recently, so I doubt he has a full grasp on the full spectrum of human emotions, especially since he probably had to repress them a lot as a child/interacted very little with people outside of his family.

I personally think he has at least some idea of the nature of his feelings by the time they separate, though it's debatable to what degree. Even though you're totally right that he's grown up isolated from most of society and his emotions were suppressed growing up, he's shown having some awareness of romance and sexuality (examples: his reaction to Leorio wanting to feel up Leroute in the Hunter Exam, knowing what shibari--a type of bondage--is in Yorknew, his panic/misunderstanding about what Gon meant when talking about going on "dates" in the past, and understanding the potential situation with Meruem having Palm/a woman with him in Chimera Ant arc). His parents are married and he does have older siblings, and he presumably had internet access as well, so those might be potential reasons why he's less naive than Gon.

I think the Palm situation may have forced him into some kind of tipping point when thinking about the meaning of his feelings. Plus, he was the one who used the word shinjuu (lovers suicide) to describe what he was planning to do with Gon, which is a word that seems to imply some awareness on his part. Surely he would have heard of that in the context of doomed lovers, which is most commonly how it's used.

There isn't enough to go off of in canon to say for sure he knows, though--and I've discussed lately how the friends vs comrades crisis within him may be "coding" for him trying to understand his romantic feelings, which would lead one to think maybe he doesn't totally understand, or perhaps he's in denial to some degree even if he does partially understand his feelings.

I personally think he has a jumble of thoughts and emotions about it that are hard for him to untangle fully, and they may shift constantly. By Greed Island and beyond he seems pretty smitten, so it's unlikely that he wouldn't notice his feelings and consider what they mean as time goes by, but at the same time he might struggle with admitting it fully to himself, and even if he has internally admitted it to some degree he might go back and forth on how much he's willing to explore or deeply consider it. It's very possible he has some level of shame about it--feeling he "shouldn't" be having these kinds of feelings about his best friend, especially with how vulnerable even just their friendship can be for him.

Post-separation, I could see him grappling with these feelings and trying to push them away, while still trying to preserve the "normal" friendship part of their relationship. After all, in Chimera Ant arc these intense feelings only made things more painful and difficult for him, and I'm sure he believes Gon doesn't reciprocate. I don't think Killua will succeed in getting rid of these feelings even if this is the case--hopefully eventually he'll be able to express them to Gon in some form.

So anyway, that's my half-analysis and half-headcanons on the matter. I go back and forth somewhat myself on how much awareness I think he has about it, but with how analytical and contemplative he is I do think it's something he would internally consider a lot, so it feels unlikely to me that he has no idea at all, especially post-Palm date. I'm curious what others think as well, as there isn't a clear-cut answer for this. Thanks for asking!

[deadpool15]

Mommy duties

Cassie's POV

I woke up this morning, still tired as hell. Only to look to my left side and see an empty ass bed. "Great way to start a morning sweetie", Cassie says sarcastically. Hitting and kicking and kicking my feet up like that will make this woman magically appear. After a while, I stopped thinking this would be a great time to get in some extra rest." Yes, Cass, look on the bright side, and today will be a great day." I turned her head when I heard a very loud whine, then I opened my eyes clearly and stared at the door hoping and praying it would stop. "And now I have to pee".

I walk outside my bedroom and bend down and see our 3 year old son, Corey. The naming process was a bit much to think about it. With me being American and Bada being korean. I didn't really care about whether the name is korean or american. As long as I could pronounce it, I was fine. Know what you're thinking? You're a terrible mother if you sit there and listen to your son crying and do nothing. I look up and see the cameraman set up with everything, "Don't judge my parenting skills if you don't have kids, you freaks."

Once my precious little Corey looks up and sees me, he gets all happy and jumpy. He starts tapping my leg and bouncing up and down, letting me know he wants to be picked up. Of course, any other time, I would big my big baby up with a smile on my face, but in my current condition, everything is either aching or swollen. "Hello everyone, or good morning, I guess. I'm Cassie Lee. Or wait, last name first, so Lee Cassie. "And this little man," I say as I bend down despite my back pain and pick my son up. "This is Corey Lee, I know I just contradicted myself with the last name again, but it's sounds better like that, yea. I'm the mother, and it's my way or no way. " I say while laughing.

"So, today, we won't really be doing anything to be honest, just like a day in life with us." I look behind me to realize that Corey is hiding behind my leg. I just laugh softly. "You would think with whom his parents are, he would be used to the camera. Welp, I guess not, huh?" I turn around to go my morning routine. I'm brushing my teeth, then having to get Corey ready for the day. As I'm putting him in his outfit, we choose for the day a member of the crew says, "Had you and Bada ever thought of bringing little Corey to daycare, Mrs. Lee". I just chuckle and stare at my son for a minute and then continue. " It's a common thing to put babies in daycare, so it was suggested to us, you know, some women said was good. It would give us a bit of a break. But in my family, daycare wasn't a thing. In fact, the women in my family look down upon them, to be honest. " I said while laughing. They view as mothers trying to get away from their children. I think it's reasonable. Parents go through a lot. I mean me and Bada I just became parents to Corey, so I don't look down upon it like my family. But I can say that for me, I have extreme separation anxiety from my son. Sleeping in separate rooms is like a lot for me. It's hard on Bada to, though, with her working. "

I finish putting on his pants and start kissing all over his face and making my way to the kitchen to feed him. I fix him some rice. It's weirdly his favorite. And eggs with apple slices. "Corey eats some weird combinations, but hey, he is happy, so that's all that matter". I say, turning to the camera and smiling. After a while, he looks around and starts getting crying. "There goes a happy day. He is used to Bada feeding him in the morning." I try to do the train thing she usually does, but he starts crying louder. "Mama... Noo....Mama, "Corey says while trying to get out of his high chair. Yea, this isn't working. As soon as he starts speaking, I realize he doesn't want me, but Bada. He calls me Mommy, and Bada is Mama or Eomma. He does it so he doesn't get confused, I think.

I try to grab him and sooth him by whispering in his ear and rubbing his back, but nothing seems to be working. "Come on, baby, I know, but Mama is at work right now. We can't just cry, though. " I wanna call her, but I know she will be busy on and won't be able to answer. After a while, I just give up, "Corey wanna go see Mama." He finally stops crying to look at me and starts to calm down. Ok, then let's get your shoes on. we are going to go see Mama. He starts running or attempting to run with him being so excited that it seems hard. He brings his shoes and smiles with his big puffy cheeks. "What am I gonna do with you?"

I put on his shoes. And then go put on my dress. Many people expect pregnant women to dress like nuns. And I refuse to do that. I come out fully ready in my dress, showing off my 5-month bump with pride. " I was that bitch before I was pregnant and I still am at 5 months what does that tell you ladies and gentlemen. I've just been that bitch." I say while covering Corey's ears. Then I grab his hand and his bag, making sure to grab a couple of toys. Then I go in the kitchen to pack up his breakfast in a container to give to him when we get there. "Well, let's go, baby".

I walk outside in my sandels cause my feet just aren't made for it anymore. Then I pick up Corey and place his bag in the Corey and then move to scrap him up in his car seat. Then I get in the driver's seat after making sure he is secure. "My mom is always saying he is a toddler now. A big boy needs a booster seat not a car seat. I just let her say whatever and move on. Corey is a small baby I and he likes his car seat. So he shall stay fully secure and safe inside of the seat. I then start driving.

I always get lost when it's time to come to this set. "She has told me a million times where this place is, but I always get lost when I right around the corner." I looked up and saw the exit and finally remembered the area I'm in. "See, my sense of direction just never been there. In my defense, I grew up in New York, and almost no one drives a car there. With how crowded the city is, no one wants to. " I said, looking at the camera. Then, I look up and see the MNET building. "We are finally here. The literal pain I had to go through this morning all for some breakfast is crazy. I said while pulling into the parking lot.

While trying to park, I realized I had to parallel park. "See, I knew getting here was too easy. This whole process seemed way easier than it usually is. Shit. " I turn around and see Corey giggling. "That's a no, no word ok. Don't say that word, baby. " I struggle, then eventually I am able to park the car, without hitting anything. "Funny thing is I didn't know how to drive until I came to Korea. Bada actually taught me, and the driving lessons paid off because I really didn't wanna hit anything. This isn't my car it's hers. So yea. "

I go to get out of the car while making sure to grab my babies bag, of course. Then I reach in the back seat and start to unbuckle Corey from his car seat. And he is smiling all happy. "Yall see the sudden mood change. It's actually quite crazy. He remembers the building now. " I say while smiling back at him and putting him on my hip. Not before reaching the front of the car to grab my water bottle. "We are on the way to see Mama, yay, right?" I started singing with Corey as we make it to the entrance of the building.

The woman at the front desk looks at me and bows. I try to bow as well until she looks down and sees my stomach and starts apologizing. "No, it's fine. I understand. Who exactly are you here to see? Do you have an appointment? "She says while smiling at me and Corey. "He is very adorable ma'am". I look at her smiling and thank her. Corey gets shy and tries to hide in my neck. " I'm here to see Bada Lee. She should be on set right now," she stares at her computer and starts typing before telling me to give her a moment. I nod and wait, and then she looks down at my hand and giggles, "She said her wife might be coming in one of these days." I look at her and laugh. "I don't exactly know if they are filming right now, though Mrs. Lee. Would you like me to inform her? " I just shake my head.

"No, she doesn't know we are here right now. I wanted it to be a little work surprise. " She nods and gets up to show me the way to the set. "We are almost there to see Mama," I say to my son while being so ready to put him down. He gets really clingy with me when he is around strangers. I guess that's my fault. "And here we are, just right there is team BEBE's room. I believe they are still filming. And then they should be making their way to their room right after. " She tells me before smiling and walking away. I bow as much as I can and place down Corey's bag. "We will wait a little while they should be done soon baby".

Bada's POV

After filming my no-respect battle with Redy, I sat down. I just knew she was going to pick me. We have had some tension since we got here. Or at least we do on her part, it seems. We were once a part of a dance crew called Cupcakes together. Then problems happened, and we all went our separate ways. Some of us grew as dancers and others as I could see still carrying those conflicts with them. If she felt I certain type of way, I didn't mean to give her that impression. But I felt better after winning the battle. I sat down and watched Tatter, Lusher, and my other members get into their own no-respect battles. I was proud of them. Ever since we got her, the other crews have been insulting us by saying that the only reason we are famous is because of me. How we have no talent besides me and simply a crew with my talents. Which has been pissing me off, we are all talented, and I'm glad people are seeing that.

After a few more battles, Daniel announced that we would be taking a break, which is much needed right now. I just feel like the teams need a break. Or a stretch, I low-key wanna go home. I miss my wife and my son. Right before I left, I made sure to go inside his room and hug him, which wasn't nearly enough time, in my opinion. Eventually, the cameras turned off for a moment, and everyone stopped with all the fake beefing and started talking with their crews and other crew. "You all were good out there ok, don't overthink. Or think about anything these people are saying you're good dancers and we just have to keep showing them what you all are made of. " I look at my crew while smiling until I hear a bunch of people mumbling about something. Then I see all the crews going to be nosy. I get up and see Halo of Wolf'lo and Mina of Deep N' Dap all excited. The rest of the crews start to gather around.

I make my way over to the circle people with BEBE following right behind me. Then ask Babysleek, "What's going on?" She looks at me and smiles someone on set, brought a cute baby here." I stare at her, trying to figure who's kid is she talking about. Then I look to the side and hear, "O, she is a foreigner. Do you think she speaks Korean. I don't know, probably not. The baby looks like it could be part korean, though. Maybe she is here to visit her husband. Do foreigners always show off their pregnancy? Yea, i think it's not a korean thing for sure. Well, whoever he is, that man is lucky she is gorgeous".

As soon as I hear about a foreigner walking around with her belly showing, I smile. They think she is married to a man, funny. Too bad for the guys here she is mine. Eventually, the crowd moves around, and I see my son. I wait for a while to see if he will spot me before I reach out to him. Then he looks up at everyone smiling, and the crowd starts to have a heart attack. Amazing what babies can do, am I right? He turns over and looks at finally spots me. He starts running towards me, yelling. "Mama, Mama, is here." He says while running towards me. The crowd turns and looks around confused due to his mother being right next to him the whole time, trying to find out who he is calling Mama. Then, when he grabs my leg, everyone looks around, shocked before laughing and gushing at the baby. I hear JJ yelling, "She is actually MOTHER, OMG, I CAN'T TAKE THIS."

I laugh at her before grabbing my son and picking him up. And hugging him while kissing all over his face. He starts giggling and keeps saying Mamma. Then I look over to my wife and say, "What are you doing here, my love?" She stares at me at smiling while holding her hips. "We were waiting for you in the crew room, but I guess Corey got bored." She says while staring at me, biting her lips. I know that look on her face all too well. Then I move towards her and grab her waist, and kiss her. I've never been afraid of PDA, especially when you are married to a woman with curves to spare at this point. I hear everyone start cheering me on as I kiss her. She looks at me and says, "Corey didn't wanna eat because his mamma wasn't there to feed him, like she usually is." I look at her, then glance down at her outfit and start to bite my lips.

I grab her hand while still carrying Corey, and we make our way towards the crew room. We then sit down, and Corey jumps out of my arms and starts to play with his toys. I then turned around to grab her hips before she could make her way to sit on the couch. "You caused a whole show out there, didn't you, baby?" She looks at me and smiles." I was trying to wait for you to help with our parent duties, or did you forget Ma'am?" I squeezed her hips while kissing her neck. "Yes, of course I remember Mrs. Lee, you look way to good in this dress baby". She laughs at me and tries to back up before I grab her again. "What do you have a pregnancy kink or something?". I grab her neck and continue kissing her.

"No, but I definitely have a you kink. Walking around looking so good. The entire set got a glance at you before me, I don't know how to feel about that baby. You just look too good to be seen by anyone other than me. " She finally managed to push me off of her and says "I would like you to tend to you to our son, and maybe, just maybe Mama will get an award. " I look at her nodding and smirking. "I'm getting that sweetheart. Just know that. That dress is the reason you're gonna be crying later. Just wanna warn you, baby. " I say while picking up Corey, getting ready to feed him.

"Yea, yea, whatever, Mrs. Lee, "she says before smiling at me and sitting in a chair while slowly opening her legs and showing me she isn't wearing any underwear. I hold onto our son a little tighter before chuckling, "Yea, you're going to get it. I'm gonna make you beg me to stop".

"I guess we'll see, won't we Mrs. Lee". She says as I continue to feed Corey. "Yes, we will, Mrs. Lee. We surely fucking will".

(Just in case yall were confused, Cassie was filming for one of those korean parents' shows, that's why the camera was following her and her son)

[sbg-loving-pierog]

Let's talk about The Hernandez Family!

and why the whole situation with Tyler is actually a good thing to happen.

(‼️Spoilers for episodes 43-51‼️)

You've been warned...

Starting off with ep. 43 when we see Mariana Hernandez - Taylor and Tyler's mother - for the first time.

You can see the tension rising when she mentions the twin's father, which at the time is suspicious but since it goes unexplained it doesn't bring much of our attention until

Back then we couldn't confirm what that means, not until ep. 48 and Tyler's flashbacks. Now we know that the twins' father is dead, so that tells us that their mother doesn't seem to remember about that. To say more, she's CONVINCED that he's still alive because even when the situation points to him not being with them anymore, she still only finds it a bit weird but doesn't seem to remember the truth.

Either she doesn't want to remember it, or it's a part of some kind of medical, mental condition, but something that helps keep up this Delusion is that, as we know, after the death of Ethan Hernandez, Tyler took over his responsibilities.

Mariana never had to take over anything her husband did for the family, she didn't feel the weight that fell on them after his passing. All "thanks" to Tyler.

And for some reason her kids try to keep up this facade with distracting her from thinking about their father before she remembers anything

And they succeed, bringing them to the point when they are the ones that take care of her, instead of it being the other way around, as it should. She probably still does her share of responsibilities a parent should have (a part she was doing before too, when Ethan was alive) but the other half AND the mental burden is all on Tyler and Taylor.

But something changes in ep. 51

When Tyler is "injured", her first instinct is to call her husband - and his father - which is understandable, you wouldn't really think logically in a situation like that, but for Mariana, this is when the truth and logic finally hits her

She reminds herself that she can't call Ethan for help and you can clearly see that she's about to panic

But then Taylor comes in, and changes her mother's thinking of "I'm on my own, what do I even do?" To "I have others to care for, I'll think about myself later".

You can almost hear her thoughts saying "You're their mother. Act like it".

This is the moment she realizes that:

1. She can't depend on Ethan anymore

2. Tyler won't always be there to help her

3. She has to be strong for her kids because she should be. Because it's her responsibility that she's been neglecting... or just wasn't able to bring to life for WAY too long

After Tyler wakes up and the group leaves the hospital, it's said that his mom stayed there with him. I think both the time when Taylor needed her support and the time they spent together with Tyler when she was the one caring for him for a change will normalize their family situation. It will help Mariana realize that Tyler was and is still just a kid, and was never ready to take over his father's "position" in caring for her and Taylor, even if he did it because he had to.

That's what I think anyways, I'm open to discussion though ^^ and well, now as they're separated, their relationship will either freeze for a moment, or change again and hopefully it'll become even stronger after another reunion :)

[mpregandproud]

Isaac II (Part 1)

Twenty years ago my life took a 180 degree turn. After separating from my ex-wife Sandra, Isaac came into my life, and with him an adventure that if someone told you about it you would not believe. In just five years I went through five pregnancies and gave birth to seventeen children, no more and no less. With my husband I had eleven of them, and we adopted the daughter I had with my ex-wife, whom I got pregnant before our separation. And we decided to be surrogates for our friends Lucas, Ray and Tom, six more children. Oh yes, I forgot, I am a man, a man who got pregnant. I know, I'm kind of a weirdo. Although Isaac prefers to say it's a “gift given to me by nature”.

While Isaac and I adore our children and thoroughly enjoyed my pregnancies, we decided to stop making babies. With twelve boys and girls per household we had more than enough. We had dreamed of having a big, happy family, especially since neither of us had grown up in large families. The dream of our lives was more complete than ever. Or so we believe at the time.

After having the sextuplets we decided to leave the city and move to the town where I grew up. There we bought a big house in the country. Isaac and I could work from home, and being close to my parents and sister would help us raise little quintuplets Dylan, Nate, Philip, Edward and Cristina, sextuplets Bruce, Ken, Patrick, Charlotte, Ivana and Jason, and Sandra, the oldest of all our children.

This change allowed me to make a major change in my life. I started to take up sports again and regain a healthier way of life. With Lucas, Gary, Samuel and Frank, my former soccer teammates when I was young, we started participating in the veterans' league. Although I never regained the shape I had before I gave birth, I lost my belly and my muscles started to show after years of being hidden under fat. My ass, two large spheres, and my hips, wide as proof of having given birth to a full soccer team with its starting and substitute players included, were living witnesses that inside me the party of life had taken place.

Isaac and I have strengthened our relationship a lot over the years. He is my soul mate. If I ever had any doubts about our marriage, seeing him day in and day out taking care of our children made me fall in love with him like I did the first day I saw him on that soccer field. Now in his 50s, he is the sugar daddy I once dreamed of as a teenager, when I was still trying to convince myself that I liked women. His athletic body and the gray hair that has slightly whitened his hair is like a dream come true. When he comes home from working in the garden, sweaty and dirty, I have to hold back my desire for him to slam me against the wall and plant his potent seed inside me again.

This is not to say that Isaac and I have stopped fucking, in fact we do it more than ever. The years have made us wilder. And now that our older kids are in college and our younger ones are in high school, we have more time to live our passionate love intensely. Maybe we have too much time, and too much passion for no good.

Yes, as you can imagine, the inevitable happened again. Sixteen years after I had last been pregnant I felt morning sickness and a general feeling of discomfort in my body again. I didn't want to believe it at first. Remember that we had decided not to have any more babies, but Mother Nature had other plans. That's why a condom broke, there was a plan to get us pregnant again. Apparently twelve children was not enough, so a new litter was about to arrive. I was pregnant again.

For the first time in all these years I saw Isaac worried. In spite of having experience in the matter, this was going to be my sixth time pregnant, it was not the same to be pregnant when I was 30 than when I was 50. And I wasn't sure that my body would work the same way either.

“What are we going to do, Isaac, do you want to become a father again?”, I asked him the night after we confirmed the pregnancy.

“Daniel, I don't know. I really don't know, it was no longer in my plans to be a father again. I adore our children and I love you madly, but I have more doubts than ever”, he said cuddling up to me on the bed. “I remember when we found out you were pregnant twenty years ago it was you who had doubts, and me who reassured you. But look at me now, I don't recognize myself, I'm scared of what this pregnancy might mean for you, especially knowing that we tend to have many children at the same time”, he was shaking as he told me, so I grabbed his hand and shook it tightly to try to calm him down.

I gave him a little kiss on the crown of his head. “I didn't expect to find myself gestating a child again either at our age and after going through this so many times. I already felt complete with what we had. But today, when the doctor confirmed that we were pregnant, something changed in me. I have doubts, lots and lots of doubts, but also the desire to be a father again with you”, I told him without being able to look at him because I was so nervous. “I think it's clear to me that I want to have this child, or children. It may be our last chance to be parents again. Who knows. And, I'm not going to lie to you, I love how much the pregnancies brought us together before. So, yes, I want to be a father”. I looked down and saw him crying emotionally, as much as I was. Both with tears in our eyes.

Isaac sat up, grabbed my face and said in a breathy voice, “I love you so much. We're in this together, let's get to it”. We kissed passionately and sealed that night by fucking like animals again.

The following week we got our children together. Taking advantage of the fact that the older ones had returned from college that week for summer vacation, it was the ideal time to tell them all the good news. Isaac prepared a barbecue in the garden. We also invited Esther and her children Svetlana and Boris, the children she had with Yevgeni, who died last year in a helicopter accident.

Our best friends, Lucas and Adam, and their children Daniel and Isaac, the first ones I had as a surrogate, also came. They are also our family, our chosen family. For little Daniel and Isaac, our sons are their cousins, and we are their uncles. Lucas and Adam wanted us to be in their lives from day one. I will be eternally grateful to them, as it helped me cope better with the strange feeling of having given birth to children that were technically not mine. I still have a very close relationship with the other children I had as a surrogate, but they live farther away, so I see them less often. And also, Daniel and Isaac were my first, it's something special, hard to explain.

When they were a little older Lucas and Adam explained to the boys that I was the one who gestated them because they could not. Far from being scared, the children became even more fond of me. They say that I am their favorite uncle. When they tell me that in front of Isaac he gets jealous. I love to see him like that. He looks so sexy in those funny moments.

Before we got to desserts I sat for a while with my sister Esther and Lucas, my childhood friend. She has always been very perceptive, so it didn't catch me by surprise that she was the one who asked me the question, “You're pregnant again, aren't you?”. Lucas was silent and staring at me with wide eyes. “The first time you got pregnant you did something similar in Isaac's apartment in the city. You will have many children, but originality is not your strong point,” she said teasing me as only a sister knows how. I sipped my soda and nodded my head. “But don't tell anyone yet, we want to announce it to all of you today”, I winked.

Both Esther and Lucas were concerned about a pregnancy in my fifties. “Are you sure? You and Isaac have sky-high fertility, so knowing your backgrounds it's possible you're expecting a whole basketball team. Isn't that dangerous at your age?” said a very concerned Lucas. “Yes, we are aware of the complications that may be involved, but we want to give it a try. It could be our last chance to be parents again. It's not a planned pregnancy, but we agree that we want to try. We take all the risks”, I told them.

They both gave me a big hug in that very moment. They are the two people who understand me best. Apart from Isaac, I can talk to Esther and Lucas about anything. Their hug felt comforting, they were giving me their approval and support. I knew that in the face of any difficulty I could count on them in this adventure.

From across the garden Isaac was looking at us. I knew that without explaining anything to him, just by seeing the three of us hugging, he was aware that Lucas and Esther knew about the pregnancy and that they were giving me strength. His smile at the sight of us made me feel even more confident in the decision we had made. It would not be a planned pregnancy, but it would be a desired pregnancy.

After desserts we gathered everyone around the table and Isaac was in charge of telling everyone. “Thank you for coming to our house today. For us it is very important to have the family close to us in all our steps as a couple and as parents. We are about to start a journey with many doubts, but that will once again fill this house with love”. He then grabbed me with his left hand and put his right hand on my belly. In case anyone did not understand his gesture, he proceeded to clarify it by shouting it from the rooftops. “We are going to be parents again. We are pregnant!”, he announced with the same joy with which twenty years ago he told that we were pregnant for the first time.

Everyone started squealing with joy and celebrating. If there were any doubts, our family cleared them all. Our children hugged both of us, some of them crying with excitement as Isaac and I were. Sandra, our oldest, gave me a huge hug, then told me that “mommy would be as excited as I am right now. I can't wait to have new siblings". I think a lot about my ex-wife Sandra, and as my daughter said, I'm sure that on a day like this she would have liked to be with us celebrating. I miss her, I hope she is proud of the family we have given our daughter.

Be that as it may, come what children may, we are on this journey together, Isaac and I. Together about to become parents again. Living the best of our lives.

Go to Part 2

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck & Eddie: Chris has been looking for Dad!Buck since the Tsunami

After 6x11 aired, I always thought the scene from Buck's coma dream with Chris asking Buck to help him find his DAD meant Chris was looking for Buck and I believe I can prove my theory with the scene that happened after the Tsunami.

While writing the next chapter in my multi-chapter fic titled “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”, I realized the scenes from 3x3 and 6x11 illustrated how Chris was in fact looking for Buck both times but Buck didn't understand.

In 3x3, the woman who had been carrying Christopher around all day after him and Buck got separated asked Eddie, "You're Buck?" to which he replied, "No, I'm his father Eddie." Then she said, "He was looking for Buck" and Eddie looked at Buck and Buck looked at Eddie🙃🤪.

Eddie is Christopher's BIOLOGICAL FATHER! It's a fact that will never change. Eddie called himself Chris' FATHER twice in that episode instead of calling himself Chris' dad. Chris calls Eddie "Dad" all the time, he even yelled "DAD!" when Eddie saw the woman carrying him and Eddie yelled "CHRISTOPHER!" in response. So why didn't Eddie identify himself as his dad instead of as his father? 🧐

Let's proceed.

Reminder at the end of 3x3, after Eddie brought Chris back to the loft, Buck said, "I was supposed to look out for him" and Eddie replied, "And what you think you failed? I've failed that kid more times than I care to count and I'm his FATHER but I love him enough to never stop trying and I know you do too. Buck! There's nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you!" He used the word FATHER again instead of saying DAD!

In 6x11, Buck's coma dream happened more than three and a half years later and Buck still believes his place in Chris' life as his second DAD/PARENT is not real. He said it himself, when Chris asked, "Can you help me find my DAD?" Buck replied, "Sorry but you're not real and I gotta go. I'm always going to feel sorry for that one".

Chris didn't ask Buck to help him find his father (EDDIE), he asked him to help him find his dad (BUCK) 🤪.

Even after the Tsunami, Chris running away to Buck's loft during the pandemic, the shooting, the will reveal, Eddie's breakdown and Chris asking Buck to come back after he was struck by lightning, Buck still didn't get it and he didn't SEE IT!

I stand by the comments I made in a post at the beginning of season 6 (linked here), both Eddie and Chris have been waiting for Buck but he's STILL TOO CONCERNED WITH THE WAY PEOPLE SEE HIM to understand it.

"Dead Bobby" told Buck in his coma dream that he hadn't learned a damn thing if he still cared about the way people see him. Well, he didn't learn anything since he's still trying to get people to like him. He wants Margaret and Phillip to like him the same way he wants all the women he dated to like him. Reminder, ND walked out and when she came back, she said, "I like you" and he said, "I like you too".

WTF was that supposed to be? 🙄

Buck's been trying to get people to like him his whole life and it started with his parents, especially his mother. Full disclosure I don't like TK but in 4x8, she told him "You just can't stand it when someone doesn't like you". She was right and he's doing it again with ND, making the same mistakes by trying to convince her to like him.

In 5x18, he told TK he didn't want to make the same mistakes well, he certainly made the same mistake again for the fourth time with someone else who likes one thing about him but not all of him.

Why didn't the show just let Buck admit he needed time to focus on himself instead of hooking up with another woman who doesn't know him? He'll never SEE the family he's been looking for is right in front of him if the show doesn't stop throwing RANDOM women at him.

It doesn't matter how ANYONE tries to spin his relationship with ND and make it into some big and fantastic romance because the truth is, IT'S NOT A ROMANCE, IT'S TOXIC. She was only interested in his DEATH and that's creepy AF. She was supposed to help him accept his death but instead she came back talking about she liked him which was no different from the way Dr. Wells treated him after he lost Devon in 1x2. They don't have some "Gone with the wind" or "Romeo and Juliet" type of love affair. It wasn't that; it still isn't that and it'll never be that unless the show forces the narrative to make it work.

If the narrative doesn't change, then Buck will suffer through yet another boring AF lackluster relationship with the fourth woman who only wanted to use him for his "Firehose" until she gets bored like the rest of them did. If he was meant to be with any of them, the relationships would have lasted instead of them running for the hills when his life got difficult. TK told him she wanted him in 4x14 which is just like ND saying she liked him in 6x18.

Eddie and Chris love Buck for who he is not for what he can give them but he's still ignoring the family who has been beside him this whole time for two trifling parents who only show him any attention when he's hurt along with all those women who like Buck the firefighter instead of Evan the "Good man".

What's it going to take for him to understand he's part of the Diaz Family and has been for years?

At this point, who knows but HOPEFULLY things will be different in season 7 or it'll be another wash, rinse and repeat season with Buck's love life and Eddie being sidelined until ND gets the boot like TK did in S5 which was EXHAUSTING AF to watch for a whole season!

[marabarl-and-marlbara]

Hi Mara,

I wanted to say that all of your writing feels extremely genuine, and I am inspired by the honesty and detachment in your retrospective posts, especially when talking about personal—external—influences. I rarely hear others say that their interest in X is simply gone, or admit that they like(d) Y because the ‘context’ seemingly urged them to. A pattern I often notice instead is personal attachment and the unwillingness to let go of ideas and things which no longer resonate or never really have in the first place.

I wish it was easy to distill all of one’s experiences and likes, remember why and how they came to be, be honest as to how one felt about them, separate the wheat from the chaff, and arrive at something that feels truly genuine and ‘you’.

It feels reductive and probably comes with projection on my part, but that’s the impression I get.

Hope the storm didn’t affect you and your family too much.

Good morning, anonymous--thank you very much for such a kind message!

I wrote about this more vaguely in last months subscriber post, reflecting on "how nothing seemed to scare me" lately and how baffling it seemed that people thought Stephen King's Apt Pupil was a terrifying horror story, and incidentally had been thinking about this during the period of having power but having no internet after Hurricane Milton--I had all these videogames I tried to play but realized they all felt completely boring and uninteresting without something to listen (my favorite streamer, my favorite podcast) to while playing (and in turn, that I needed to be doing something somewhat stimulating while listening to something); I had all these anime shows I could be watching, too, but again little interest because they were all just dead boring--and all I could really manage for myself were to read Henry James and rediscover my old Longmont Potion Castle collection to listen to until internet came back;

but, I don't know how much the genuine 'you' matters; I think about something a sculpture professor told me about the hippies and an adage they had that went kill your parents, and the professor added that it was meant not (always) literally, but to disentangle yourself from 'the origin' or: maybe: the most sacred and profane feelings you see yourself as being a-part of;

realizing I basically have zero interest in being an artist might have been a big hurdle for me to disentangle from way-back in Wilderness when I had some ego-fear of losing my identity as Marabarl and what that entailed: divulging everything about myself, being self destructive, seeming crazy, and using it all as oil to art--severing that all seemed like it would drive me more lonely and leave me with nothing but some bare-dry stick of a person that'd few people would be interested in (but glimpsing at this idea also spoke to how 'being an artist' had little to do with my own desire and more to do with maintaining 'connection' with 'invisible others'). I don't know if killing my parent there had left me a more true version of myself, but it severed connections I mostly kept entwined by wholly out of fear of the loneliness or of letting go of a familiar rot and pain. I'm far more boring than the older Mara, because really now all I'd like to do is go to my weekly sandwich shop, cook, clean, read, listen to audiobooks, be monotonously religious, and try to write bad fiction that I never finish because I keep rewriting the same few parts for months at a time.

There's a quote from a book I finished a few days ago, For Thy Great Pain Have Mercy On My Little Pain, by Victoria Mackenzie, that I really loved:

"When the day begins, we say that it is breaking. So with my life. Part of me had to be taken into pieces before I could truly start to live. For in my shewings Jesus had said, 'I shall shatter you for your vain passions and your vicious pride; and after that I shall gather you together and make you humble and meek, pure and holy, be oneing you to me.'

My will was broken and I am glad of it. I am only a thing that moves this broom and sweeps the curled leaves and corpses of insects from one side of my cell to the other."

Each layer of myself, as it seems with age, starts to seem more-and-more to be a vanity that I hold to myself well-after it has separated and shed, out of fear and comfort for the more simple figure that is underneath--morosely, I start to really believe the purest part of my-self comes with death when all has been shed away wholly and the carcass is left as the most simple and un-connected atom of Me, and for others: when the Left are shred out to ash and the Right are ate up to heaven; tears and emotion for the dead, too, a type of vanity over wishing that lost other to not be gone from the identity yet though it is truly just another vain callous now shed and clung-to: Dieth and Daniela who I keep getting mad at in fear of letting go-of;

but even in more simple ways--remembering old loves towards things like Narutaru and not wanting to let go because of how fond and warm they felt just a few years ago, and keeping that old passion around like it were furniture that had gone decrepit past any real function except favor; although, during Hurricane Milton, again between time of Power but no Internet, I rewatched some of FLCL and .hack//sign and wished I could be rewatching Hey Arnold's scary episodes--cause really no-matter how much I think I'm capable of letting go of things that seem all vain, boring, and worthless to the simple self, I am a simple creature who wants comfort in the familiar and to things I've loved and felt loved by. And, luckily, I still love Boogiepop! (I think it's easier to keep a love for those things around because they don't really remind me of bad-times as Narutaru does, but I'd like to always keep an effort to keep Hiroko and cute little Ensof in my heart)

Take care.

[fountainpenguin]

Riddle watches New Wish - Post #12

Stanky Danky

Me: Huh, Mark's extended family must have stopped dropping by to eat the pollution. Mr. Guzman: There's even trash in space! Me: oh no

I like how Hazel consistently wears her hair covering at night. The first time I heard this show would have a black girl for a protagonist (like a year+ ago), I was really nervous about whether it would be handled well- I'd braced myself for "trying too hard to score diversity points."

I have to say, I've liked the hair style variety within her own family, and I feel like there have been more black background characters than I remember from the OG show (though I didn't go practically frame by frame in the OG like I'm doing for this liveblog).

I didn't say it in "Trial or Hair-or," but I enjoyed how Hazel formed a stronger bond with and love for her hair, as I feel like that would be important to her personal identity. I like how she always wears this hair covering to bed. Little details like that make me feel so much more at ease about something I was really nervous about for what feels like 15 months.

SLKDJFSLDKJF Cosmo and Wanda are still sleeping in separate beds. I mean, that's standard Fairy culture in my 'fics, so it works for me.

Trash monster is nice! Didn't see that coming.

Hazel: I wish he could speak at least a few words? /wish granted and he can speak only a few words

I knew it, Kennueth IS on a cliff in that poster. I'm surprised Hazel had to wish for him to breathe air last episode.

Uh-oh, it's Dimmadome time- WHAT DO YOU MEAN "one-time use helicopter??" Sir, you can't bring that to an event about polluting less and saving the earth! ... Is Dale in there? I have to assume so. I've been missing him.

Me: Aww, Dale looks just like his old self! Awesome, and easier to recognize when he's not panning across the- OH MY GOSH!!! Dale: When I was your age, I spent my Saturdays working in a factory underneath a lemonade stand >:/ (Pulls out photo of him from "Nectar of the Odds"

Sir. SIR!! Do not repeat the abuse cycle with your son!

-> I hate that he just carries this around. Dale, you need to let it go. And maybe sue Vicky, idk.

I'm CRYING, I love how they gave him false teeth. That's hilarious.

The boots... That's a Dimmadome, all right.

Like, on some level I'm glad Doug spoiled him after he was rescued from Vicky's lemonade horror show, but I'm gettin' a bad feeling...

I can only assume this family tells horror stories about Vicky. This is the funniest anti-hero backstory ever. I was also going to treat Dale's torment 100% seriously in 'fic, but this is way more fun.

They are not cutting any corners. They didn't even change his backstory; he literally got tormented underneath a lemonade stand for 7 years. That's the one piece of canon he was given in the OG show and by golly, are they sticking to it.

Did Vicky take over the lemon torture pit from someone else?? Did she start this gig when she was 9? Is she gettin' retconned? Hm.

They definitely do not drink lemonade in the Dimmadome house. Please let me see Hazel offering Dev his first taste. If we don't get that as an episode someday, I'm writing a 'fic.

Dev trying to get out of pollution clean-up day: But... is our company even earth-conscious?

Too funny.

Okay, I've been thinking about it ever since Episode 1, but why didn't Dale get a fairy? I was waving it off under the assumption he'd only been underground for a couple days max, but... with 7 years, now I have questions.

-> Did Vicky move her lemonade kids around? The stand wasn't always on Timmy's front lawn, but... Surely Cosmo or Wanda would've detected him if he WAS under Timmy's lawn for 7 years.

WELP, trash monster's upset there's not gonna be more trash to eat if they clean it all up. I can see the problem. Uh-oh...

Why do I get the feeling that Dale has said "Come to Daddy," to the trash monster more than he's said it to his own son?

Hazel's parents didn't come to the trash clean-up?

sldkfjsdklfj he's still got the boots... I hate him /affectionate.

There is something severely funny to me about how they've made it clear they took inspiration from Dale's canon design, but his adult design lost his fluff and cowlick and has sleeker, professional hair. Something about this feels very correct for this art style because I feel like a lot of the adults have shiny hair without little tufts and decorations. I might redo my adult designs.

Oh, Hazel doesn't even know that's Dev's dad because she didn't see his mental pictures in Episode 1. This keeps getting better. I love how she also said "That guy with the ridiculous boots" after I pointed out the boots. Yes, Hazel, we've been over this... He's a Dimmadome.

Cosmo and Wanda in their apartment again! Just chillin'.

I don't know why I didn't expect Dev's drones to be called Dimmadrones.

Dale to the trash monster: You're like a son to me! Dev in the background:

The moon is still a waxing crescent when you're in space? ... I mean, I guess.

Peace of Pizza

Ya know, I'm surprised we haven't seen the Ya Boix drinks come up more than the fact that Kev sponsors them (mentioned in 2 episodes). I guess it's nice that they were depth for a side character, but that surprises me since they're the first thing you see in the theme song.

Ooh, Dev's in the title card! Where's this going?

I like how Hazel was using Cosmo pencil to stab Wanda eraser. She may have fairies, but she's still a bored schoolkid.

I... I was going to cheer that we had a list of names for classmates, but uh...

The Kindness Chart isn't in alphabetical order. I feel like putting Dev at the bottom was a targeted move.

Or it's reverse alphabetical since she's Hazel Wells and he's Dev Dimmadome.

It's still a waning crescent?

Maybe I'm old-school, but "pea pod aliens" is setting off all my alarm bells.

... Aliens are insisting everyone loves pizza, but what if someone's lactose intolerant?

Okay, since we're just coming off the episode where Dale reminded Dev he was locked underground making lemonade for 7 years, I feel like I don't blame Dev for not trusting anyone?

Like, I get the feeling his dad is emotionally absent, but this might not entirely be his dad's doing. I'm not sure I'd trust people either if my dad got yoinked for 7 years when he was my age.

Especially since Vicky's whole thing is that she's nice until she starts bullying. Yeah... don't trust.

sdfklj, Dev slam-dunking his stuff in the trash can and backflipping away. That's so unnecessarily extra.

Does the news never have anything important to report? ... I'm glad Winn brought up the thought of getting their own pizza, since I was wondering about that myself.

SLKDFJSDF...

Hazel: Dev, I have someone here who wants to talk to you! Dev: What's she doing? The Closer: She's trying to use someone close to you to appeal to your emotions. Dev: ... ?? No one's close to me. wtf. /scene change where Cosmo is dressed as Dev's dad.

Oh, this is gonna go great.

Dev, instantly switching gears after hearing "his father"'s voice through the door: ... Dad? You took off work for this?

Ruh-roh.

-> Wanda can read him like a dog-eared book.

So... She- she's gonna report this to Jorgen, right? I feel like she's supposed to do that. She's gonna tell him this kid is ticking multiple misery boxes, right? She's not just gonna ignore this... Wanda, please.

Not sure how I feel about the running gag that so many adults look like Timmy's adult self from "The Big Problem." Throws me off every time and I wasn't a fan of that design anyway, so it feels weird.

HE'S LACTOSE INTOLERANT, I KNEW IT! ... Well, not really him specifically, but I was on the right track.

Oh, this is terrible. Am I mistaken, or aren't lactose intolerant pills like, $10? Does he know? Does he know.

Dev: I thought lactose-free pizza was just a myth?

Dale, you're a terrible father.

Also, I like how a lot of effort was put into converting their designs to 2D, right down to Dev's yellow zipper stripe:

Okay, that's enough for this post... On to "A New Dev-elopment"!

[reilly310]

Outlander: Blood of My Blood

art credit: @SimonWrightSays

I'm dusting off my blog for the first time in a looong time with some thoughts about the new prequel series.

I've been on the fence about the new series, but after learning that Claire's parents' story will be included, I found myself more intrigued. Then seeing this (amazing) sketch of young Jamie and Claire got my imagination flowing.

I'm mostly interested to see how the writers will integrate the two storylines, as I would think they'll have to do. Given at least one (and perhaps both) of Claire's parents can time travel:

Will one of them be from the past (her father, I presume) and, in a kind of reverse Outlander, meet/fall in love with the other in the future?

And/or will both of them travel back to Jamie's parent's time (purposely or by accident) and will they meet/be friends (or foes) of each other's for a time?

Will they give birth to Claire in the past or the present? Will Jamie and Claire know each other (or at least meet briefly) as very young children but be too young to remember that encounter/relationship? (See picture above..and yes, I know there's a 5 year age difference in OL but just indulge me here because that picture is so cute. Maybe, more realistically, when Claire is 5, they are present for Jamie's birth instead. Isn't one of the rules of time travel in OL that you have to have a connection to where you're traveling to? Since Claire went through the stones the first time by accident, could she have landed where/when she did because of that connection to Jamie / his family from her past even if she didn't consciously remember it?)

Do Claire's parents actually die in a car crash or was she just told this by Uncle Lamb as a way to explain their absence? Did they get stuck in the past instead and spend the rest of their lives trying to return to her? Do Jamie's parents find out their secret and try to help them in this endeavor to return to the future?

Or maybe they perish in the past and Uncle Lamb, a time traveler himself, brings Claire to the present to keep her safe.

Because (I don't think) there's any book reference to Claire's parents other than her mentioning how they died and that she doesn't really remember them, the possibilities related to their storyline are endless.

Having put these thoughts out into the universe, though, I'm likely setting myself up for disappointment if/when the series airs and does none of these things. However, a connection of some sort between the two couples will have to be established in order for the series to have a flow that makes sense and is not disjointed.

PS: I read the first 3 books and part of the 4th before setting them aside years ago, so I don't consider myself a book reader. Perhaps there's information in the later books that would make the potential connections I've imagined for this new series impossible. If so, please let me know.

PPS: . Do we know if this prequel is intended to be a limited series (like the Yellowstone prequel "1883") or a series with multiple seasons? If it's a limited series of 10 episodes, they might be able to get away with two separate storylines that merge in some way only at the end. I just don't think I would find it as intriguing as one that's interconnected.

[doverstar]

Hello hello I was told by your lovely sister, one of my favorite people on the planet, to send you the same question I asked her to see what else you could say about it, since you write a lot of fanfiction and are more familiar with it than she said she was, so here I am!

I wanted to ask about fanfiction. I've really been thinking about that post Artist made about how a lot of fanfiction can be just used as a form of escapism, and not in a good way like Tolkien described it, but as a 'I hate life so I'm gonna read and write extensively about fictional characters rather than working hard/trying to improve my own life' Which I really want to avoid and not do. In the past I've certainly fallen into that trap- I would get so caught up in writing Marvel or Percy Jackson or Harry Potter fanfiction (not to toot my own horn, but was objectively good and I do think grew my skills a lot as a writer and character analyzer) that I would spend every free moment and many of ones when I really should've been working on school or chores or spending time with my actual family reading and writing it. I was probably doing that 5-8 hours a day when I was 11/12. (Yikes) Thankfully, my parents smacked some sense into me lol. It really just goes to show you how, for lack of a better term, soul-consuming, that these kind of fantasy pursuits can really be. Thankfully, I don't do that any more. I actively limit myself to a max of 3 hours of reading and writing fanfiction over the course of a week, which is a big improvement.

So yay! Now I have a definte separation from writing fanfiction to improve my writing and writing it to waste time because all of my energy is focused on it to the point where it is in my every thought. Good! Growth!

But now my new thing is this- I want to make sure that any and all fanfiction I write has a definite point. I want it to point to good things and have clear messages and blue flowers and point to Jesus, even if it isn't specifically a 'Christian' fanfiction.

But how do I go about this trying to intentionally bring in blue flowers and good messages and beautiful themes, and not just only write it for my entertainment because its a piece of media I love? How to I make sure to firstly know what themes I can bring in, and then do it in such a way that's well-written, while also being able to have those fun moments and situations that are both in the piece of media and I've thought up?

And finally, last thing, is I'm wrestling through if I should continue writing fanfiction to 'fix' a story (which is why I started a Percy Jackson and Marvel fanfictions, I wanted to take the parts of each story I didn't like and were poorly done and make them better) rather than make my own point with it. For most of the fanfiction writing I've ever done, my goal was to improve it, to act like a ghostwriting editor the author hired to fix their fundamentally flawed story. But now I'm realizing that I was spending so much time and effort (which don't get me wrong, I do not fully regret, I really do think that I've gotten far better at fiction writing through this) and I didn't even add any more goodness or morals to the story in a way that made it more soul-sustaining and truly good. I wanted to add a lot of bits that made be as a reader squeal and get happy over which... I don't think is bad per say, but its not what I want my fanfiction to be like any more. With my writing, I absolutely do want to improve on the source material, yes, but I also want to figure out what sort of themes and goodness I'm going for with it. So should I continue writing these large projects (cause each piece covers several books/movies) for improvement and also try to expand on the good ideas and themes the authors had, even bringing in my own, or should I just set it aside as that was great, but now I need to focus on making writing morally good and not just for entertainment?

I know a big part of this is wisdom and descretion- things that God has blessed me with but I know I always can pursue more of. So I know a absolute perfect answer to this question will require time and experience. But after sorting through my word-vomiting (sorry lol), what would you say to all of this? Thank you!! <3 I love you and your blog so much btw!

Golly, what a question! I haven't seen what Arti answered yet - I've been at work - but I'm on break now, so I can give it a try! I bet I'll end up saying a lot of what she said, making this an unnecessary and VERY LONG read, but here goes-

I do write a lot of fanfiction, and I have been since I was 8 (aka for a long, long time, gosh I'm old-). I wrestle with a lot of what you've described! I've been on the brink of quitting fanfiction altogether lately; there will come a time when I need to "grow up" in that area and commit to only writing what's just mine. I do have original stories, original worlds, original characters, but like you, when I want to practice and learn, I turn to fanfiction. It's a wonderful platform in that sense!

I would say you're right on the money when it comes to what the Lord has gifted you with. You should use wisdom, and you should use discretion. Your writing should be used to point to what's true, and there should be intention in no matter what you're creating. We're not only called to glorify God, we're called to excellence. Everything we do should be done to the best of our ability!

And what you believe, if you really believe it - about what's true, about how we ought to live and what's important - is definitely going to bleed through into whatever you write. It's the truth, and you've found it, and it can't help coming out. Making something (writing in particular) requires pieces of us, and if that's the case, then our Christianity (for lack of a better phrase) is going to show up in our stories. Even if the characters belong to someone else.

If you find yourself writing a story just to squeal over a ship, just to get secondhand butterflies when the male lead's being dreamy, just to vent some sort of difficult emotion you're dealing with or live vicariously through a character, you should close the laptop. I've written plenty of things that make me feel happy or excited (like you said, that's not bad!) but if that's the only reason you're writing it, it's a waste. And on another, semi-related note, a lot of people only write fanfiction to indulge in emotional pornography. It's not as steep a slope as you might think. When my father-in-law gets just a little drunk every night before bed, it's still sin. It doesn't matter how much or how long it lasts. He's still drunk, and he shouldn't be. So be careful! (she said, to herself, often-)

As for writing just to fix a story - if it's bothering you, and you see what they ought to have done, I say go for it, and here's why: it's teaching you something. It's you figuring out why what the source material did was dissatisfying, and it's you figuring out how your alternative is better. You're essentially teaching yourself what not to do. Now, if you want to write it and fix it and you want to keep the focus on good things, true things, there's still a way to do that. Work out what was good and true already about the source material and draw from that when it comes to theme.

I use a Notes document. I'm not talking about the Notes app on smartphones, I'm saying I open a Word document (or whatever your equivalent is!) for every single thing I write (fanfiction, original, etc.) and I entitle it "[Insert Story Title Here] - Notes.doc" and then I word-vomit at myself. I write at the top what the theme of my writing is going to be this time, and why, and underneath that I explain to myself where I see those good and true themes in the source material and how I'm going to magnify them and use them to point to the truth (specifically some Christian truths) in my story now. I figure out how it will all work and feel canon and then I move on to the pre-write for each chapter. It's good practice, it's great fun, and it keeps me on course when I start to drift into self-indulgence during the writing process. It's fun to visit Atlantica and Stars Hollow and get inside Caitlin Snow's head and show the world why I think Rose Tyler is the best thing to ever happen to Doctor Who - but all of those things can pull me away from the messages I'm trying to communicate.

Fanfiction should not be escapism. I cannot write when I am freaking out. I cannot write when I'm miserable, or angry, or fighting with someone. When I'm low emotionally and my spirit is scratched, I can't complete a single sentence. I can't. I think the Lord did that in me for a reason. I don't use fanfiction to escape reality or to deal with reality. When I was younger, I considered a day when I wasn't writing to be a wasted day. I needed to write. I needed to make something. But I prioritized that over reality, and yes, that is sin. I wasn't escaping, but I was idolizing, and that's wrong. I'm impressed by your self-inflicted limits! I could've done with that at 12 myself.

Fanfiction shouldn't be all self-indulgence, either. Yes, you ought to have some fun when you're making things. But have self-control! I love writing fanfiction and drawing and editing videos. I love it. It's so much fun to me. I get genuine joy out of it. And when I look at something I'm making, I say to myself, "Self, is this a waste of time? Does that part need to be in there or are you just playing?" And then I examine my motives and I examine the thing I'm worried about and I determine whether or not it takes you out of the story or draws you away from the themes (in writing specifically) or if it's okay to add because it's pleasant and matches one of the good, lovely, honorable, etc. things that are true in life that God allows us to have and enjoy, because He's just that good. And then I have to either say to myself, "Self, this is fattening," and delete it, or I say to myself "Hey, dolphins twirl," and leave it in, making sure I'm still on course.

Dolphins twirl! Why? We don't know why they twirl! God does. God made them twirl. God made them animals that play. He didn't have to do that! He didn't have to make the leaves change color. He looked at His creation and called it good when He was finished (you know, before we ruined it). He took pleasure in creating. We can too - as long as it's not pulling us or our readers off course. My husband doesn't have to be a good dancer to fit the biblical picture of a man I ought to marry - but he is a good dancer, on top of fitting what I should have been looking for biblically, and God knew that, and God did that, and I get to enjoy it and enjoying it is not wrong. Dolphins twirl!

Like I said, I'm close myself to putting fanfiction aside on the whole, because I can tell, probably because of the Lord, that it's nearly time for that. It's time to look up and make something more real, for more real reasons. If you're thinking it's about time for that for you, too, pray about it. Writing fanfiction is like anything else fun the Lord has blessed us with (everything good comes from God) - it's fun and good as long as you aren't misusing it. Everything in moderation. People take stories they love and characters they connect to and go and interact with them through fanfiction in a bad way, for bad reasons (or just reasons that are useless to man and beast), and I've done that before myself. I've been one of them. But it's not wrong to expand on the good and true things in stories we love, the things that are in line with what we know God invented, and it's not wrong to hone your craft and learn how to use what you've been given with excellence, so that when the time comes for you to write your own story that points to God, you're ready!

You don't want to be wasting your time or the talents you've been given. I say keep thinking about it, and remember why you do what you do. Stay on course! That's my advice.

Thanks for asking me!

[skellyflowers]

Smuggle me gently

AN: Time for two!!!! Thank you for all the love! Hope you enjoy.

II x Smuggler

“Alright crew, our next shipment is coming in today!” My boss shouts. “Tex, you and Sphinx are going to collect on the asteroid Xavis nothing less than 15,000 credits.”

Tex and Sphinx high five each other. Collecting is a simple task. Especially if Tex is the one doing it. Most people don’t want to fight when they see the Besalisk. However, collections are an entry level job. Sphinx only joined our group a few months ago.

“GX-5 you and Mora are repossessing a NCC-1717. Bring it to the Scrap yard and be sure to take out the shield generator.” Boss says before addressing me.

My usual partner is still recovering from any injury so I don’t expect much. IF I do leave it would probably be to drop off some information. Whatever, as long as I can get off the station for a little while.

“We got a special delivery. I need you, and the guy the client is sending to handle it.”

“What ‘guy’?” I ask. “What are we delivering that the client is so worried about that we need a ‘guy’ they hired separately?”

“Listen when you run blasters for the Hutts you don’t ask too many questions.”

“THE HUTTS!” What has he gotten us into?

Before I can argue more the station's proximity alert starts to blare. The bay doors open and a gunship lands. The ship looks like a Tantive IV. After the bay doors close the Boss and I head down to the bay. Tex and Sphinx joined after us.

The new ship’s loading bay door opens and a Mandalorian! He is in head to toe black armor with three red stripes across the face. He has a crest inlaid on his chest, it looks kinda like a bird. Once he is off the ship the boss walks up to him. Sphinx sits on top of a crate behind me.

“He is a little small for a Mandalorian.” Sphinx whispers to me.

I hit her with my elbow. I know that the boss is talking to the Mandalorian but I don’t know if he's paying attention to us. Last thing I want is to give him a reason to come back over some potential insult.

I see the boss waves me over when he is done talking. I slowly make my way over to them. I'm not excited to get close to the Mandalorian.

“Alright, he is going to move the shipment from his ship to our transport ship.” Boss explained. “After that you meet up with the client's contact, and drop off the package.”

The Mandalorian nods and turns back to his ship. I can see he had a rifle on his back. Boss hands me the key to the transport ship and we walk over to check the transport hull.

“I don't think I can do this.” I say.

“What do you mean? You're one of my best pilots. And you have the best people skills.”

“Ya, when I'm haggling a price or sweet talking a security guard. Not smuggling weapons!”

“This job is fast and pays a lot. You get this job done,�� and we all can afford to take a long vacation. When was the last time you saw your parents?”

I turn away before I punch him in the face. I hate that he is using my family against me. He knows I have been wondering if I could get some time away. But I don’t want to be delivering guns to do so.

I sit in the cockpit to take a moment to calm myself down. After a few deep breaths I hear a voice in the hull. It's giving instructions so I assume it's my boss. So far the Mandalorian hasn't made so much as a peep. It's really off putting. 

As I walk back into the hull I see that the Mandalorian is there with my boss. There is a crate in the hull that wasn't there earlier. So that must be the shipment. 

I get the rendezvous coordinates from my boss. We are going to the fifth moon of Calcas. I better pack an atmosphere suit just in case. I don't know what to expect. 

When I'm finished packing I head to the ship. When I got to the cockpit my heart nearly launched out of my chest. In the co-pilot seat is the Mandalorian. He sits quietly with his arms crossed. His helmet tilts toward me when I yell in fright.

“I guess you're ready to go then?” I ask, trying to calm my heart.

He didn't answer, just like I expected. He did, however, nod his head. That is good enough for me. The sooner we leave the sooner we can get this over with.

The flight is smooth. Once we enter hyperspace we get to Calcas in a few hours. If anything it was a little boring. I'm not used to being around someone so quiet. I don't think he would have talked to me even if he wanted to. 

Once we get in range of Calcas I exited hyperspace. I did a scan of the moon we are meant to rendezvous on. It has a breathable atmosphere! Nice! Guess I wouldn’t need the suit.

A message came over my ship's comlink. As I expected it's the contact. The man on the other side gives exact coordinates for the drop off. We will find him in a crater. After a few minutes of looking we find the right crater. Just outside the crater I see a small drop ship. There they are.

The Mandalorian taps my shoulder. That was a surprise. When I look at him, he is pointing at the opposite side of the crater. I guess that is where he thinks I should land. I follow his silent advice and land on the opposite side of the cater.

As we go to meet the contact in between the two ships. I walk ahead of the shipment crate and the Mandalorian pushes it from behind. Once we are close enough I can see that the contacts are two Arkanian.

“That’s far enough. Back away from the case.” One says. “Degro, do a sweep.”

The Mandalorian moves the case between us. Then grabs my arm and pulls me behind him. 

“All clear Zendul.” 

“Alrighty, let's wrap this up.” says Zendul.

He walks up holding a data pad. I moved around the Mandalorian to see what was on it. The data pad is open to a camera. Both Arkanians stand next to the case. I guess they need a picture for their boss.

Once I take the picture the Arkanians head back to their dropship. Maybe my boss was right about this job. Not that I would tell him that. We are about 30 feet away from the ship when someone yells.

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU TWO THINK YOU’RE DOING? DID YOU THINK WE WOULDN’T NOTICE?”

What is he yelling about? And why are they running toward us?

“WHERE IS THE REST?”

“What are you talking about? What you got is what we have.”

“LIAR! YOU'RE TRYING TO DUPE US!!!!!” He takes out his blaster.

“Whoa! Let’s calm down.” I say. I hands up above my head.

Before I can attempt to deescalate the situation one of the Arkanians explodes! I hear the other Arkanian scream.

“Get back on your ship! Or the next one is for you!”

I look over my shoulder and see the voice and shot can from the Mandalorian! Not only did he just kill that guy but he also said something. He is holding a pulsar rifle. No wonder that guy just exploded! 

Once the other Arkanian was back on his dropship the Mandalorian walks over to me. He quickly circles me. Seeing that I'm ok he brings me back to our ship. He seats me in the copilot seat and starts to take off. On the flight back I want to say something to him. But honestly I'm still stunned.

“Why did you do that?” I finally asked, after what felt like an eternity.

“You had no reason to be treated like that. I didn’t like it.” He answered. “Also your boss is paying me a cut to make sure you are unharmed.”

“We’re splitting my credits with you?”

“No. I'm getting his cut.”

That also leaves me speechless. I know that the boss cares about us. He often calls us ‘one big happy family’. He really proved that, if what the Mandalorian says is true. I’ll ask later.

We make it back to the station in no time. After we land the Mandalorian pushes something into my hand. It’s a commlink.

“What’s this for?”

That’s my link. If any of those guys come around press the button. I'll come back and kill them for you.”

After that he stands up and exits the ship. When I get off the ship I see the Mandalorian talking to the boss. He also hands the Mando a small case. That must have been his cut. He then leaves without even a second glance. 

I wonder if I’ll see him again. I secretly hope that I will.