#I'm insane there's no other way around it

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

Roadside

Summary: On your way back from a long weekend that you got to spent with Joel, his car breaks down. While you both waited for Tommy to get there to help, Joel has some ideas on how to spend the time waiting.

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem. reader

Wordcount: 792

Rating: T

Warnings: roadtrips, falling in love but slowly, car trouble, implied smut, kissing, flirting, feelings, teasing, kinda secret dating, fourteen year age gap

A/N: I'm missing references to three pics I think, but it doesn't get better than this lol (technically I am not here, because I am on a writing break) The moodboard screamed road trip to me, so this is what I did. This is for @iamasaddie 24 hour writing challenge and I hope it does not suck 🙃

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Full Masterlist // Joel Miller Masterlist

„What are you gonna tell him when he gets here?“ You hummed, looking up at Joel. He gave you a small smile before he stepped closer, his big, strong hands coming down to part your legs for him, stepping between them so he was towering over you, the sun slowly setting on the horizon.

You had almost made it home. 

After a long weekend of having Joel to yourself without the fear of running into someone you both knew (if you left your hotel room at all) that you had spend in a tiny town in close to Dallas, you were on your way back, just an hour out of Austin when his truck made a very sad noise until the engine went out and the car stopped on the side of the road. 

He had tried to get it to work before, with a long groan, he told you he had to call Tommy cause the something something needed a something so he could fix it. He had kept his eyes on you the whole times as he made the call, looking beyond sexy in the shirt you bought him, with his too long getting hair that you had spent all night running your fingers through as he made you cum over and over again until you both passed out. 

You had met Tommy before. You just hadn’t met him as Joel’s girlfriend.

Things between you and Joel had been… slow until they weren’t.

You’ve known each other for almost two years due to you working as an interior designer occasionally with his company. But it was six months ago that you had gotten closer as you worked on a very time consuming project where the client brought you both to the verge of insanity with how often they were changing the plans. 

He had finally asked you out one night and the rest as they say, was history. 

„Guess I’m finally gonna introduce my controversially young girlfriend to him,“ Joel smiled before he kissed you softly. You gasped in mock offence, before tilting your chin up to meet his lips with a smile, your hands running up his broad back until your fingers slipped into his hair on the back of his neck. 

„Not that controversial,“ you grinned and he chuckled before his lips kissed down your neck. 

„Fourteen years is a lot,“ he mumbled against your neck and you sighed, letting your head fall to the side to give him more access. One of his hands slowly drifted up your thighs, his fingers pushing the fabric of your skirt up. 

„Only if you care what other people think. Last time I checked, we’re both very consenting adults,“ you said and he playfully bit into your neck making your shriek. 

„How consenting are we talking about here exactly?“ He asked and you looked up at him as one of his hands slipped between your legs, his fingers brushing over your damp panties. 

You could feel your nipples harden against the fabric of the shirt you had put on this morning and Joel seemed to notice too, his other hand coming up to cup one of your tits, his thumb playing with your nipple.

Looking around you realised that you were pretty much in the middle of nowhere. You couldn’t even remember when you had seen a car drive by the last time. 

„Consenting enough to let you fuck me in the middle of nowhere until your brother gets here,“ you whispered against his ear and he groaned, letting his forehead fall against yours. 

„Atta girl,“ he grinned, before he kissed you again while his hands made quick work of your underwear. 

You could still feel him dripping out of you, your legs a little weak, when you jumped of the back of the truck, Joel taking your hand as the door of the car that had parked behind his opened and a man jumped out, looking between the two of you. 

The sun had set by now, the cold air making you shiver and Joel let go of your hand, to put an arm around your waist, pulling you closer against him, the warmth of his body helping instantly. 

„So this is how I get to find out the mysterious woman that makes my brother grin like a teenager with a crush when he looks at his phone is you?“ Tommy Miller approached with a wide grin. You could practically hear Joel roll his eyes and you smiled at his brother. 

„You got a crush on me, Miller?“ You teased and looked up at him. 

„Brat,“ he sighed, fighting a smile.

„You love it,“ you winked, feeling him pull you closer. 

„Yeah, I really do,“ he hummed before he kissed you softly. 

[strwbwrrybunny]

views. eren j.

balcony honeymoon sex! missed my bby ren,enjoy this drabble ₊˚⊹♡ also eren’s colombianooo so he’s talking in spanish a bit!

𝓲ridescent hues blossomed across the sky, painting a masterpiece of colors that seemed to dance and shimmer with every passing moment. the horizon was ablaze with shades of fiery orange, deep magenta, and soft lavender, blending seamlessly into one another to create a breathtaking gradient that captivated the senses. the sun, a golden orb, slowly dipped below the skyline, casting a warm, ethereal glow over the landscape.

seagulls filled the air with their cheerful calls, their voices a melodic symphony that echoed softly against the backdrop of the vibrant sky. their graceful flight, with wings outstretched, created a mesmerizing contrast against the colorful canvas above. each call seemed to tell a story, adding a layer of liveliness to the serene evening, a reminder of the bustling life that thrived even as the day came to a close.

the evening breeze began to stir, carrying with it the mouthwatering scents from the food trucks lining the shore. the delightful aromas of sizzling tacos, freshly made doughnuts, and savory grilled meats blended harmoniously with the salty ocean air, creating a tantalizing mix that would make anyone’s mouth water. the wind was gentle yet full of vitality.

“pa fucking you good princesa?”

you struggle to articulate your thoughts as your head feels heavy, honestly, your whole fucking body feels like it's weighed down. the way eren's relentlessly rocking into you has you gripping the balcony railing, desperately searching for some semblance of stability. his grip on you is borderline painful, his nails leaving indents in your skin, but he's the only thing keeping you from falling over, and he knows it.

his thrusts are relentless, deep and calculated, making sure that every move counts. he's fucking you hard, so hard, yet with so much purpose and care. he knows exactly what he's doing to you and it shows in the way you're unable to string two words together. he's driving you absolutely insane, has been for the last hour, and the coil in your stomach is wound so tightly, you think you'll die if he doesn't let you cum.he doesn't want you to, though, and he's been denying you your release since he's started fucking you on the balcony, and god, it's driving you up the wall.

your breaths come out as a soft "mhm," unsteady and shaky, your head tilting down slightly. "come on, ma, lift your head, look at the view.” eren muses, one inked hand collecting the hair stuck against your strung out face, the other on the small of your back. it's hard to ignore the way his knees buckle as your gummy walls contract around him, swollen pussy lips sucking at his cock.

“you feel me in your stomach?" a particularly forceful thrust sends tremors through your legs, and you cry out, “fuck ren nghgh,” the last word coming out with a choked sob as the head of his dick presses into the spongy skin of your g-spot.

"i'm so fucking deep, look at you baby, taking all of me in that little pussy."

it's too much, eren's voice and his thrusts and the pleasure that's burning inside you is too much, the tight, wet, warmth of him filling you is too much, the way he's gripping the back of your neck is too much, everything is so much, so overwhelming, that tears of bliss start to form in your eyes, threatening to roll down your cheeks. "eren, eren—fuckk!"

you're not sure if it's a response to your cries or if he just noticed how fucked out you are, but eren pulls your hips flush to his and grinds up into you, "oh, i know baby, i know, but you've been so good for me, just a little more, okay?"

a little more?

how can you take a little more, how can you take anything more, eren's so fucking big, you feel so full of him, he's hitting so deep and grinding right against the sensitive spots inside of you, you're so wet and stretched out that his every movement is audible, you can't take anymore, he's too big, you're going to pass out, "i-i can't—i-i can't!" you shake your head and gasp, "can't do it, eren, fuck—ah-fuck!" his fingers grip your hair tighter, "yes, you can, and you're going to. you can and you're gonna cum on my dick, okay?”

it's your honeymoon, and eren hasn't been able to keep his hands off you all day. it started with him waking you up with his head between your legs, thumbing your clit slowly. you had barely opened your eyes when you felt the first wave of pleasure washing over you, eren's tongue working its magic.

"buenos días, preciosa," he had murmured against your doughy thighs, his voice sending vibrations straight to your core. after breakfast, it continued on the kitchen table, plates scattered on the floor as he bent you over, his hands gripping your hips with a possessive intensity. "i can't wait, i need you now," he had growled, thrusting into you with a desperation that matched your own.

now, standing on the balcony, the city lights twinkling in the distance, you feel completely consumed by him. "eres mía, solo mía," eren pants, his pace quickening. "y siempre lo serás." his words are a promise, a declaration.

and you know he’s far from done with you.

[seasprincess]

JJ fic. I'm thinking sweet smut. Like almost goofy because that's just who he is, rarely super serious. And he and reader just know each other so well that things can be goofy, even during sex and neither of them care. Unprotected (if you're good with that). Then maybe reader finds out she's pregnant. Worried to tell JJ. But he's so thrilled.

bf!jj

a/n: I loveeed this ask

warnings: smut, pregnancy, unprotected s3x (wrap it pookies), brain rot.

“Have you got a condom?” As soon as the words leave your mouth the blonde, that’s on top of you, head pops up. He looks at you slightly confused. His hands stoping the rubbing against your lacy panties.

“I thought you were bringing them?” JJ says, his blue eyes looking into yours as he suddenly remembers.

He was supposed to bring them.

“Fuck sake.” He sighs as he runs his head, this isn’t the first time he’s had to run out and buy them during this intimate moments. He just a forgetful guy.

“Fuck it.” You say, not even thinking about it twice. You need this. He’s been touching you for too long. “You’ve been edging me f-“

“Edging.” He cuts off with a little snort and a smile. He’s so unserious it’s insane.

“Stop.”

“Sorry.”

You look up at him and lean up, pressing your soft lips against his. Slowly his slips his tongue into your mouth as his hands continue to touch, rub and caress you. He’s being soft today.

But the way he’s fiddling with the zipper of his jeans is not soft nor slow. Of course it gets stuck, and he’s just there trying to rip it open. Trying to unjam it with some huffs and puffs.

While he’s doing that you’re pulling down your panties, the fold air against your core making you flinch a bit. Before you lay back down and he lays back on top of you.

“Are you sure?” He asks as he looks at you. This isn’t the first time you’ve done it without protection but every time he checks. Make sure you’re certain.

“Yes.” You say with a nod of your head. You just can’t wait any longer.

Slowly JJ enters your cunt, your tight walls sucking him in as you let at a moan. JJ jokes about his size to everyone. Saying how big he is. But they weren’t jokes.

“Fuck mama. So tight.” He says before placing a kiss on your neck. His thrusts picking up. His hand coming to your neck, not to choke you. But to make it easier to pick up his speed. “Such a good girl.”

Your walls clench around him as your eyes screw shut. Whimpers filling the space of your bedroom.

“Please don’t stop.” You breathe out as you instinctively grab onto the duvet, knuckles turning white as you look at him. His stupid face smirking down at you before reattaching to your neck.

His face practically lives there now. Hes always kissing and sucking on your neck.

JJ’s free hand slips between your legs and starts rubbing. Rubbing that sensitive bud of yours. His cock twitching inside your pussy.

It doesn’t take long for both you and JJ to cum. His thrust slowing down as he looks at you.

Both of you panting before the blonde just has to open his stupid mouth.

“That was so skibidi.”

“Oh my god.”

You can’t believe it.

‘This can’t be real.’ You think to yourself as you look at those two lines. The two lines that can either be a blessing or a curse.

You don’t know how long you’ve been sat on the bath mat of your bathroom. I mean you can’t have a baby. Can you? You’re only eighteen living at your parents house dating a guy who only recently learnt the difference between there, their and they’re.

You can’t be parents.

You just can’t.

“Baby I’m here to hang.” The sound interrupts your thoughts. the very guy you were just thinking about. Knocking a tune on your bathroom door.

You sniff and dry your eyes, trying to get rid of any sign that you were crying.

But JJ heard everything.

“Hey, yn? You okay?” His concern is evident in his tone. He cares about you more than you’d ever know.

The bathroom door slowly opens and your eyes meet the blondes. Slowly making his way to you, crouching down and placing his hands on your knees. You’re silent. You can’t speak. Don’t know what to say if you were to open your mouth.

So you just hold the test.

JJ’s eyes follow your gaze to the test. His breath catching in the back of his throat.

You want to know how he feels, is he angry? Upset? Disappointed?

Actually he’s none of them.

“I’m going to be a dad?” He says excitedly. Immediately you look at him. Shocked by this response. He’s happy?

“Yeah.” You say quietly.

“I’m going to be a dad!” He says louder and takes off his hat before standing up. Pacing the bathroom and smiling. Yapping about all the things he’s going to do. How excited he is to have a child.

You should’ve never been worried. You’re going to be parents.

[rinawantstosleep]

"I don't like your stupid, white hair." 

"And I don't like your boring, brown hair, buddy."

"W-well... well, I don't like your ugly, doo-doo face!"

"Your mama does." 

The two could go bickering like this for hours on end if you let them. What may seem to be a mutually digressive arrangement is actually an oddly adorable bonding in disguise. Satoru and your son put on a front of being annoyed at the other's presence, but you've never seen them apart for longer than a few minutes at a time. They've grown on each other; much like how moss grows on a statue that's been lingering out in the open. An indispensable cycle of life that's truly inevitable. 

"No, she doesn't! She doesn't! She likes... sof- sofis... sofistogated guys."

"You mean sophisticated?"

"Shut up!" 

You'd been terrified that your little one wouldn't have a father-figure to rely on anymore after you divorced your husband. However, it was something you had to do for his sake. The child deserved to live in an environment that wasn't always reeking of alcohol, where he wasn't subjected to the constant, drunk yelling of a pathetic excuse of a father who couldn't get his shit together and lazed around at home all day while you did all the work. If that meant that you'd have to raise him on his own, then so be it. At least he'd be raised properly. Signing those papers was, by far, the easiest decision you'd ever made. 

"I'm not shutting up because a kid in clothes too big for him is telling me to."

"You... you're the one always wearing tight clothes around the house to impress my mama."

"No, that's because I'm ripped. Gotta show off what I've got. And your mama loves that." 

"Oh, yeah? That means you show off your... your - um... ugly, doo-doo face!"

Would you regard it a miracle that Satoru just so happened to stumble into your life around that very time? Well, relatively. Meeting him wasn't something you'd planned, nor anticipated. The kind stranger who offered to pay for your order at a café a year ago has somehow, thanks to quite a romantic sequence of events, turned into your boyfriend; a rock to lean on for when you need the support. And, also, someone that your little one can look up to (with the fun, bonus benefit of the pair getting into silly, childish quarrels nine times out of ten). What is Satoru if not a three-hundred-and-thirty-six-month-old toddler, too? Puts your five-year-old to utter shame with the way he acts. 

"Enough. Baby, we've been over this before. Behave."

"But, mama, he's being a meanie!" "But, babe, he's acting all pretentious." 

The responses come simultaneously: one is high pitched and whiny, and the other is your son. Sometimes, you have to pause and ask yourself how you haven't gone insane yet. It's the love that keeps you from falling apart. How could you ever harbor any other feeling for these two, except for wanting to cherish them? You just... need to work on a pet name that doesn't apply to the both of them at once.  

"I don't want to hear it. Sweetie, finish your lunch. And, Satoru?" 

"Yes, honey-who-loves-me-and-my-'ugly, doo-doo'-face?" He's smirking, snickering, while saying this, the sly bastard. When will the pair ever relent on trying to one-up the other? 

"Why have you got one of my hair ties on your wris- never mind. Don't forget to change the sheets in our room. I'd do it myself if not for the meeting I need to get to in an hour." 

"Yes, ma'am." 

Cue a tiny gasp. 

"But, mama..." The voice of your little one breaks the peaceful silence at the dining table once again. His legs start kicking back and forth - a sign that he's growing restless - from the chair they're dangling off of. He's got a protest already forming up in that head of his. "Toru said he'd take me to the skate park today. And he promised to get ice cream after."

Toru, huh? That's new. You can't help the smile that paints itself on your lips. The two have been getting along pretty well, it seems, contrary to all the bickering they do. That's always nice to know. It's amusing to see the dynamic they've built. One second, they're riling each other up to no end, the next, they've already formed a secret alliance to go out and have fun together. How cute. "Is that so?"

"Mhm! So that means we need to leave riiight after I finish my lunch. Don't get mad, okay?" 

It's the small things like these that warm your heart. Some sacrifices can be made if it's in regards to this adorable (step, even though you haven't married Satoru yet)father-son moment. The sheets are insignificant right now. "Awwh. Of course I won't get mad, baby. It's good for you to want to spend more time with Satoru. Isn't he a fun guy?"

"... maybe." 

. . . 

"Just make sure he's safe out there. Helmet and gear on at all times, no big ramps. And don't let him eat too much sugar. He'll get hyper. Once the rush dies down, he'll get cranky -"

Satoru's arm wraps around your waist before you can finish your sentence, pulling you overwhelmingly close to his frame. Instinctively, your arms move to wrap around his neck, just the way Satoru likes it. Oh, how he wants to just throw everything else out the window and drag you to the nearest room with a lock in place.

"You -" A quick peck to your lips, followed by a nibble on your bottom lip. "- worry -" Another peck. "- too -" Another. "- much." Then, an unexpected bite on the shell of your right ear. "I'd never allow myself to let that little demon get hurt; or hyper."

Large hands wander across the curve of your back, resting firm on your butt. Satoru doesn't want to expose your son to the way he's squeezing your plush flesh with his long digits, so he shifts to have your back pressed against the wall. A perfect opportunity to kiss you - which the man can't help but seize. What else is a smitten boyfriend to do while waiting for your son to get ready and come down from his room upstairs? Lips against lips until one of you pulls away for air. "He's safe with me, okay?" 

"Okay." 

"Atta girl. Now, you go that meeting of yours. And, tonight, after we both get back- oww."

"Groooss! Don't kiss my mama, or you'll make her ugly! Like youuu!"

"Baby, no. Don't kick Satoru's ankles-"

"I'm saving you, mama."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

[shadyr4m]

REWATCHING SEASON 2 EPISODE 7 OF ARCANE

+ some of my highlights and notable moments that I enjoyed bc people can’t understand media anymore

This is mostly an infodump of stuff I can fit into a twitter thread/didn't rly want to make into a thread. I'm not great at words so I apologize in advance, I am sure there are many people much better at analysis than I.

I want to start off by saying I am heavily invested in timebomb so this is very much going to be a ship analysis. If you're looking for someone unbiased i am very much not the person for that 😭

FIRST OFF:

The disc on the music box is adorable!!! It features au Powder (who I am going to refer to as just Powder for the duration of my analysis) and au Ekko

Compared to the normal Disc

This is very obviously because it takes place in a different universe, one without Vi or "Jinx".

The first scene starts off with AU Ekko writing in his notebook. (Cute mention is Powder's doodle in his notebook!!) Then we see flashes of the wild rune. This is when AU Ekko switches to canon Ekko.

Also one of my favorite silly images from this episode is this one.. Powder is being so adorable and Ekko is just scared out of his MIND. it's so silly.

In the Last drop, Powder asks Ekko. "What is up with you? You've been out of it all day?". One thing I noticed in my rewatch is that i think Powder is aware this Ekko isn't HER Ekko. This is just one instance of many that makes me think this.

This hideout seems so much more vibrant and loved, similar to Jinx's hideout after Isha. It's colorful. There are guard rails that I like to think was pushed by Vander. We can see Ekko's art scattered around. It just shows how much more support and family Powder has compared to Jinx, which i mention a lot.

Id also like to note Ekko being shocked au him went to powder for help. In his mind at this time he believes Jinx to be all that is left, no more Powder. Through out the episode we see that change.

Notice how Powder gets upset at Ekko in this scene. However, she doesn't react explosively like Jinx would've. She handled it in a way that shows she had support. She told him to leave instead. Again, the main difference between Powder and Jinx isn't only Vi but also the existence of multiple support systems that Jinx simply didn't have.

THIS FLASHBACK! Oh my god this flashback. The fact it happened after he upset Powder? I think it shows just how much he truly cares about Jinx/Powder. He remembers VIVIDLY the day that he thought he killed her. Jinx was his childhood best friend, and I don't think that kind of feeling ever truly goes away. He doesn't want to hurt any version of her, not even the alternate universe her. We see that showcased more later on. Also, random probably insane note. He is interrupted by small children playing, having fun. This isn't a coincidence, it shows he does miss the moments from when they were kids.

While talking with Heimerdinger, we see Ekko look at Powder multiple times. Watching her laugh and be expressive, he smiles. When she doesn't return it we see him get upset. Once more this brings me to my point that he doesn't want to hurt her. Considering he hasn't known this Powder very long you can see where I gather my point that he doesn't want to hurt her in GENERAL. Any version of her.

THIS SCENE!! He is such a bad liar it's adorable. This brings me to my earlier point, Powder knows what's up!! She suspects something 100%. He is talking about this dream her like it was real.

"You aren't the kind of person who helps other people with their projects. Your ideas change the world. I can't shake the feeling that that's who you're supposed to be."

Are you LISTENING TO THIS? He is obviously talking about Jinx. You can tell this by the first sentence because obviously Powder IS that kind of person. He's starting to see that Jinx is just a part of Powder, one that is unavoidable and that he unknowingly appreciates in a sense. Like two sides of one coin he can't see Powder without Jinx and that is good. I think it is here he realizes truly just how much he cares about Jinx.

This whole montage is beautiful but I want to zero in on two things. Powder's reaction to the notebook and how she looks at Ekko after. NOW THIS. This is the nail in the coffin for her. She knows that this is not her Ekko. She has fully gathered that he isn't from this universe.

Also heimerdinger totally knows how Ekko feels you cannot tell me otherwise. Pushing him to go to the party? yeah he knows what you are.

THIS WHOLE SCENE. I AM NOT ANALYZING THE WHOLE THING HERE BUT IT IS GORGEOUS. I saw someone talking about how it was animated on 4's to signify the way Ekko can only go back 4 seconds and I honestly shed a tear. THE SONG TOO? I encourage everyone to look at the lyrics because they're beautiful.

Okay now for my favorite part of this episode so much to dissect and i'm totally going to mansplain but yk..

"I used to dream the undercity could be like this" — That sets the tone for the whole conversation and just what world he is talking about. The canon one.

"But somewhere, I got consumed by all the ways it wasn't. I gave up on it. Gave up on YOU." — Heavy emphasis on this line. Once more he is talking about Jinx. He is talking about how he got so consumed by the way that Jinx wasn't good, and he gave up on her. Believed she was irredeemable. Powder showed him that Jinx is capable of love and happiness, it's just under that tough protective shell. The undercity in the metaphor is Jinx, from my interpretation.

"I promise i'll never forget this." — Now time for my insanity. He doesn't forget this. That's why he saves Jinx from ending her life in the first place. He remembers Powder and knows that with the right support Jinx doesn't have to be the way she is. It's not that she "needs to be fixed" she just needs to be LOVED, like Powder. He sees that now. He sees how in the au the love that everyone shares for one another shaped the undercity beautifully, and made everyone in it much healthier mentally despite going through hardships. That is beautiful. People with mental illness are not unlovable they just need more support, it can't be cured, or fixed just healed. Mental illness is always there it is how you DEAL with it that matters.

Nothing too major to talk about with the kiss. It's sweet I love it, but nothing too notable for me to say about it.

Finally, Ekko leaves the au. I have seen people say that this is a sacrifice, he could've had everything he wanted and he gave it up to save the people at home. But i take insanity to another level. I see this as him appreciating his home. He knows he can never truly love this Powder because she isn't the version he fell in love with. He learned to appreciate Jinx even through her flaws, and that while this world has everything he could want and more he can have that home too.

I am experiencing HEAVY timebomb brainrot if you can’t already tell. I was tired of people taking things in the complete wrong way with this episode, if anyone has different views pls tell me I love hearing how other people took certain scenes. there are a few scenes I love but I would’ve made this post way too long..

[sunatsubu]

Jayvik and time paradoxes

I can't stop thinking about Jayce/Viktor. They're driving me insane, absolutely INSANE. Because everything about them is a time paradox??

This is pretty rambly, I'm just trying to get my thoughts down in my attempt to stop going crazy over them and also just figure out what the heck happened because I'm still kind of confused about some stuff, also I am not very familiar with game lore, mainly just the show.

They circle each other and are so intrinsically linked in so many ways, being both cause and effect to each other's fates. Starting at a random point that ends up circling all the way back:

Jayce and Viktor invent Hextech

Jayce gets drawn into politics as a result, away from Viktor

Viktor gets desperate, experiments with hextech on himself, with Consequences (Sky)

Viktor asks Jayce to destroy hextech

Jayce, unable to let Viktor die after Jinx's attack, fuses him with it instead

This leads to Machine Herald viktor, but not quite; like Pre-herald I guess? Where Viktor still retains some humanity

Jayce gets told by alternate Viktor to stop him from becoming the Herald

In his attempt to do so, he kind of causes/hastens it instead?! (more thoughts on this below*)

alternate Herald Viktor regrets everything and saves baby Jayce/gives him the runestone**

Jayce grows up wanting to research magic thanks to mage Viktor, and cue s1 events that end up circling back to the first point**

*I can't stop thinking about how kind and gentle Viktor seemed when he was trying to help Vander. It really seemed like he was on a path to using his new powers for good, without any sinister effects (though maybe I missed some hints, need to rewatch). It wasn't until after Jayce blew his heart to smithereens that he seemed to start on that path of deeming emotions and humanity unnecessary, solidified when Jayce rejected him to join him as partners again.

**Still trying to wrap my brain around these last two. The existence of alternate Herald Viktor that brings our Jayce to his destroyed world in order to ask him to stop our Viktor - does this imply that Viktor would have still become Machine Herald even if Jayce hadn't tried to kill him? Was it an inevitable thing? Or is this still more time paradox shenanigans, where Viktor asking Jayce to stop/kill his younger self, is both the cause and effect of Herald Viktor? And yet another paradox, Viktor inspired baby Jayce to research magic and ultimately invent Hextech, which is what was needed for Machine Herald Viktor to come to pass. So it seems like there are actually 2 paradoxes related to the creation of Herald Viktor/apocalypse post Viktor's revolution.

These time paradoxes defining their existences makes me think they weren't supposed to exist. Or at least, the ways they so significantly affected the world, weren't supposed to come to pass; Hextech, Viktor's Revolution, apocalypse. So while their ending breaks my heart into a million pieces, it makes a lot of sense. In order to cancel out what they'd do to the world (or just Piltover? this is another point I'm curious about, did viktor's revolution affect ALL of humanity?), they had to erase themselves from existence. It's so. romantic and tragic, but not really on both those counts? Like somehow deeper, too deep, to put such simple labels on. Honestly I don't even really know how to describe what their story makes me feel.

Bit of a tangent, but one interesting anomaly is the alt timeline Ekko was in. So Jinx would always be an important factor in Jayvik's fates since her attack almost killing Victor is the catalyst for a lot of things. Mage Victor says Jayce is the one thing across all timelines that could stop him, implying there are MANY timelines where Herald Viktor comes to be. Which thus means in all those timelines, Jinx is the unstable mess we know and love, the one who would attack the council. So that makes it interesting (and kinda gutting because its like Jinx is destined to suffer in most timelines) that Ekko's alt timeline was most likely rare in its stability, where despite Vi being gone, Powder is relatively happy and the world (Piltover/Zaun) is quite peaceful.

This is a seemingly random segueway, but Jayvik very strongly reminded me of the german show Dark. (WARNING FOLLOWING IS MAJOR SPOILER FOR THAT SHOW)

A completely different genre and story, but both are about two people whose destinies are so linked together throughout time and alternate universes, but weren't supposed to exist. And they could only save the world, allow it to go on untouched from the devastating effects they would have on it, by taking themselves out of the equation.

[luxheroica]

under your tree (1/3)

Anyways Ekko/Jinx has made me insane and I'm not stopping. So here have fanfic about Ekko, Jinx, and the tree that I wrote in a fugue state last night. Planned part 1 of 3, the first is alternate-Powder and alternate-Ekko.

Also on AO3

----

She drags him up out of her lab, not entirely sure where to go but too jumbled up to stay. Powder’s heart is racing as she twines her fingers in Ekko’s, and she has never been happier to feel his grip strong and vital in her own. That breathless moment when he wasn't moving when she thought– she had held VI's body in the same way. 

“Where are we going?” he asks, bewildered, stumbling along behind her. 

“Just come on.”

Her feet know the path and she trusts them. While she does her mind races, all of the strangeness of the past few weeks slotting into place like a puzzle in her mind. 

His fear on seeing her, his confusion at Milo and Claggor, the way his whole face changed when he saw Benzo… the way he hadn’t known Vi was dead. She thought he was just messing with her, in a particularly cruel way, or maybe he’d lost his mind after a particularly weird dream. 

The way he’d kissed her tonight, like he was so desperate to hold on to her. 

Now it all makes sense. Something that she was beginning to suspect but didn’t think was quite possible. 

Her feet take her to the tree. Where Ekko painted his portraits of Vi. 

Vi who lives. Vi who is from some other place and time entirely. 

“What… is this?” Ekko– her Ekko– crosses to the portraits alongside her, wonderment in his eyes. “Is that Vi?”

Powder smiles. “A present,” she says. “From another you.” 

Ekko scoffs disbelieving. “Seriously, you can stop messing with me.” 

“Did you know that the competition is tomorrow?” 

Ekko whirls around. “What? No– it's weeks away!” He waits for the punchline that he knows is coming, and then scratches at his head. “Seriously? What do you mean it’s tomorrow, I thought–” 

“You had plenty of time?” 

Ekko nods. He swallows and she watches his Adams apple bob, as he takes this in. “Powder, why did I wake up on the floor of your lab?” 

“Because an alternate universe version of you took over your body for a few weeks, built a time machine that created a space anomaly, and then went back to his universe.” 

She expects him to laugh. She expects him to accuse her of making it up. Even as she says it, it sounds a little crazy. 

Ekko flops to the ground. “Huh.” 

“Yeah,” she says. She doesn't approach, doesn't touch him. Gives him time to process. 

“That is about the wildest shit I've ever heard.” 

Powder snorts. “Don't I know it. Imagine three weeks of my boyfriend acting like a lunatic, and I only now figure out why.” 

“Imagine losing three weeks of your life to an another version of you!” He scratches at his head in that way he does when he's frustrated. “I can't believe the content is tomorrow and I haven’t prepared anything!” 

Powder laughs. The Innovators Competition seems like the least of her concerns right now, but of course for him he was just thinking about it. It consumed his every thought “To be fair, while making his time travel device he maaaaybe finished your battery. It works great, by the way!” 

Ekko sits up, offense playing across his face. “He finished my designs??” Then he shakes his head. “Is it weird to be jealous of another version of myself?” 

Powder considers. And yeah she's gonna push it because she likes pushing his buttons. “Would now be a bad time to tell you he kissed me?” 

Ekko nearly chokes. 

“In my defense I thought he was you!” 

The fight goes out of Ekko, and he sighs. Lays down in the grass and looks up at the wall where Vi’s eyes from another universe look down on the both of them. “You think she’s alive, in his world?” 

Powder nods. She curls herself next to him, intertwining her fingers with his. “Yeah,” she says. “He told me about her, a bit– said it was a dream he had. Said she was the strongest fighter in all Zaun.” 

There under that tree she tells him all about the dream the other Ekko told her about, that strange world where Vi lived and was in love with a Piltover heiress of all people and she went by a different name and she and Ekko hadn't really talked in years and Zaun was still just like it used to be and maybe even worse. 

“It’s weird,” Ekko says while she talks. He rubs his forehead, his brow creasing in concentration. “It's like I can remember it, a little– while you're talking. Flashes of memory… I don't know if they're real.” 

Powder curls their fingers together. “I think alternate universes are uncharted territory for anyone.” 

Ekko snorts. “You're telling me.” He squeezes her hand reassuringly. “It’s strange. Everything I'm feeling, it all feels so sad and awful and scary… even if VI's alive so many people were dead, and we hadn't talked in forever…” he trails off, and Powder imagines it– really imagines it– that universe that other-Ekko came from and it makes her sad. “And don't get me wrong, I'm glad he left and I get to be me and not have my life hijacked by some alternate me, but…” 

Powder levers herself up. “But?” she prompts. 

“But why'd he do it?” He turns to look at her, and there's something anxious in his brown eyes. “I don't know if I could leave to a world where we never talked.” 

Powder smiles. Rolls over and kisses the bridge of his nose. They haven't said it yet but she loves him–whichever version. “Because he's you. And because they needed him, the people on the other side.” 

Ekko turns this over in his mind. “What was he like, the other me?” 

Powder scrunches her nose as she tries to think. “Like you but weird. Like, he was really jumpy at first and then he got all sentimental over weird stuff. But, he was you– just as smart, just as idealistic. Always had his head in the clouds and his nose in an equation.” 

Ekko laughs. Flicks her nose. “That doesn't sound like me at all.” 

“Oh doesn't it, Mr. Free-Energy-For-All?” 

“I still can't believe he finished my designs.” 

Powder rolls back laughing, because he sounds so indignant. He continues to glare, annoyed. And then after a minute joins her in laughter. 

“I think I saw him for a minute, at the end there.” Powder says once she's caught her breath. 

“Oh? What was he, uh…?” 

“Really hot,” she says, because she knows it's going to make him jealous but she’s also calling him hot and he can't say anything about it, and it’s such a delicious conundrum. “Kind of rugged, too– big baggy clothes and wearing war paint. Not at all a buttoned up nerd.”

Ekko rolls over, pins her to the ground like she's been goading him to do. “I'll show you buttoned up nerd,” he says, and he kisses her breathless. 

And it’s different from the way he kissed her earlier tonight. For one he knows how she likes to be kissed, knows how to tease her. But there's nothing of that delicate way he held her like she was this precious thing that could break, and she wants that intensity again. 

They stay like that awhile. Just kissing, just enjoying each other. And they don't think of other worlds where they haven't talked in years and maybe never will again. 

At last they stop, because Ekko looks at his watch and says, “Oh shit, I should get you back home!” 

Powder tickles his knee with hers, hoping to tempt him into giving in again. “We’ve got time. I said I was going to the dance.” 

“It’s almost 2am, I'm pretty sure your dads are gonna kill me.”

Powder snorts disbelieving. “Nah, they wouldn't.” 

“No, I know Silco quit being a crime boss but I'm pretty sure he still knows how to hide a body like, super good.” 

Powder kisses him again– with a little bit of tongue, for good measure– and then when she's sure he's about to give in she jumps to her feet. Ekko looks at her exasperated but fond. “Alright, genius. Let's get you home– you've got a presentation to give tomorrow.” 

Ekko groans. 

[stelly38]

I've been meaning to share this and finally got 'round to it. Occasionally, I write some review/recommendations for a group I'm in. This was my five cents on Rivals.

Rivals is pretty much everything the press said it would be, and then some, although it doesn’t start out that way. The first two episodes are slow and light on content as characters are introduced and plot points are set. But hang with it—the story really picks up from the third episode, when everything begins falling into place.

I’d been looking forward to this series mostly because it stars the deliciously hairy and handsome Aidan Turner, delightful in the role of Declan O’Hara, hard-hitting journalist and TV presenter fresh off his job with the BBC. He’s lured into indie TV by Lord Tony Baddingham, played by the always-entertaining David Tennant, who is terribly, wonderfully evil in his role as the director of Corinium Television, the biggest company in Rutshire County, where the story takes place. The other main character, Rupert Campbell Black, (Alex Hassell), is a filthy-old-money-rich and famous ex-Olympian, cad, and MP, as well as the Most Handsome Man in all of England™. Lord Tony has hatched a plan to ruin Rupert (the two are sworn enemies) by inviting him to be interviewed live on Declan’s new talk show. Intrepid journalist that he is, Declan has unearthed the dirtiest dirt on Campbell-Black, and he’s just itching to smear him in an effort to keep him from sniffing around Taggie, his beautiful, too-young-for-Rupert daughter.

Add to this mix Declan’s flirtatious and frustrated wife, Maud (Victoria Smurfit), as well as a cast of other colorful, endearing characters, all tangentially connected to Corinium, and the stage is set for all sorts of accurate-for-the-era shenanigans, some of which may be shocking to viewers who weren’t around for this decade. Think British Dallas or Dynasty with nudity and sex, backstabbing and adultery and corruption, and a much better sense of humor. There is full-frontal nudity (Alex Hassell), and many, many pairs of breasts, so be prepared for that.

David Tennant has the bitchiest and best lines, and I laughed good and long at those zingers. Tony is a truly detestable character, but it is difficult to hate him, because David is so wonderful. My favorite scene (barring any naked Aidan Turner) in all eight episodes is when Lord Tony throws an epic tantrum. I’ll leave it there. (FYI, the final episode ends abruptly on a cliffhanger, as the series only goes about halfway through the novel by Jilly Cooper.)

Speaking of Mr. Turner, we get to see quite a bit of him (just not that bit), as well as a huge, ridiculous mustache à la Hal Linden in Barney Miller. The mustache is so big, it kind of makes up for the bit of Turner we don’t get to see… a girl can dream, right? Turner, as Declan, appears mostly naked in the kitchen while getting ready for work; in the tub, scrubbing up; and in various rooms of his home, satisfying his wife. I shed a tear of horny gratitude that television producers have finally refrained from touching Turner’s chest hair, save to comb it, perhaps—those lucky, lucky set groomers.

In a nutshell, the show is a snapshot of 1980s English society folk, framed around the power struggles within the independent television industry. It’s good, silly fun—trash—in a word, that is well aware it’s trash. In fact, it wears that badge with pride. While actual trash has zero value, Rivals manages to sprinkle some sharp and insightful social critique in among all the teased hair, orgies, blue mascara, and insane parties of Rutshire County.

Here’s hoping for a second season.

[delusionalme8]

hey, i have been a fan yours since your Instagram and old tumblr days, so just wanted to pop in ask you how you've been doing? also asking for your hinny fic recs!

Hey, that's actually so cool!

It's been about three years since I stopped using that account. Unfortunately I had to study a lot to get into University and my free time has been greatly reduced. But all in all I'm fine now, thanks for asking. I hope you are too!

There are so many fics that I love that it's impossible to remember them all, so I'll try to fit some in here!

Consider that I like really everything from these authors, so I recommend you read their other fics in addition to the ones I suggest. It's totally worth it!

-Brumous by @seriouslysam8 and its prequels (my personal favourite is Backstabber). As far as I'm concerned, it's one of the best fics I've ever read and she's an amazing writer. She's on a break from Brumous at the moment, but is releasing Selcouth which is just as good in my opinion!

-7 Scandals and a Baby by @ginnyw-potter ! It's a story set during the Regency and has an incredible atmosphere around it! She's an incredible writer and has an insane creativity too. Think of any trope and 99% of the time she's already written about it lmao (if she hasn't already, she almost certainly will). Also, her Harry and Ginny are soo good. (Not a Done Deal is one of my favourites too!)

-These Cuts I Have by Melindaleo and its sequels. It's a trilogy set in the post-war period and it's a wonderful read. I just reread it for the third time and I love the way it deals with Harry's horrible childhood and the relationship he develops with the Weasleys! Read it!

-The Path From You by @takeariskao3 too! I feel stupid for only now discovering her work, but I'm spending my afternoons catching up on it all lol. It's a story full of angst and great tension building before Hinny arrives. But I love a good slow burn, I have to admit, and she wrote it so damn good! I really recommend reading it!

-An Hour of Wolves by @solvskrift ! This one is quite heavy and angsty because it deals with a particularly sensitive subject, but I think it's absolutely worth it. The worst thing is that it's about something that could have easily happened in the canon and it's horrible to think about. I love the way it is written and deals with such sensitive topics, as well as the wonderful characterization of the characters. It is a work in progress, but it is definitely worth reading because it is incredible!

These are just a few fics and I don't know how many more I'm missing, but feel free to recommend me some too!

[starletcake]

Headcanon about mage Viktor and his 'origins'

I didn't really understand how viktor could be the mage from Jayces past and I didn't really get any real or satisfying answers to that from anywhere, so I thought I would spin my own little theory (or at this point you could say fanfiction) as to how this all happened, how viktor became the mage in Jayces story, what he meant by "only you could ever show me this" etcetc. I assume/determine/establish many things for my thoughtprocess to be true, I do that for my story to work and for my mind to be at peace and that it can grip an answer and not go insane about pixels because apparently i cannot act normal around media i like.

First of all, I'm gonna assume that some things are just true/meant to happen/fated in ALL timelines. For example that viktor is going to ALWAYS come into touch with the arcane and even if his path can be different each timeline his end goal is always the same - glorious evolution. I also assume that if you time travel/jump timelines and act as a seperate individual in this timeline (not like f.e. ekko replacing himself in his timeline) you are not allowed/cannot intervene too much with it because then the time/space continuum collapses or the arcane throws a fit idk.

So let's imagine a timeline, I'm gonna call it "the first timeline" (even though it doesn't really make sense in thinking of first/next/last timeline because all of the timelines are parallels, but bear with me), a timeline where viktor comes into touch with the arcane a different way, because here he doesn't even know Jayce exists (the mage which gave him the rune doesn't exist yet/in this "first" timeline). He merges with the arcane, thinks he's doing everyone a favour by initiating the glorious evolution, finishes it, creates a perfect world and everyone is happy. Except it isn't a perfect world and nobody is happy, in fact everybody is practically dead, without joy, love and choice, and Piltover/maybe even the whole world crumbles into arcane waste because of Viktors actions. He doesn't understand what went wrong, he didn't want this, he wanted everyone to have equal opportunities and end all suffering and be without sickness, be perfect. There had to be some kind of mistake here. So, with the help of the arcane, he travels to another timeline, and tries to change a few things in his story. With hindsight, this time he could steer his young self in the right direction and this time, surely it will work.

But it doesn't. So he tries again. And again. And again and again and again.

But everytime, in every timeline, with every change he made, with every different decision he made, with every different way he found the arcane, it always ended the same - the glorious evolution was a mistake. More than that, an error in his thinking of his younger self, which is the catalyst of the apocalypse.

Having seen that outcome time and time again, this "first" mage Viktor realizes that this cost for perfection is flawed, and that imperfections do have beauty in itself. So, he goes into another timeline, this time adamant to stop himself. But he fails. He just isn't able to stop his younger self, he is not able to prevent that he is coming into contact with the arcane, he is not able to change his worldview, he is not able to change anything about his goal or conviction. So, maybe someone else could? Trying and trying to introduce character after character into his life, trying to let others influence him, to no avail. How could he, anyway? How could anyone change this worldview of him? He, "first" mage Viktor needed countless of timelines and experiences to learn, that he doesn't have to be ashamed of his flaws, that he doesn't have to erase them and that imperfections are what makes them all alive. How could anyone show him, in his limited lifespan, everything he learned in a multiple factor of this time?

And this is where Jayce comes in.

Maybe, in one of the infinite timelines, the "first" mage Viktor was just as lost as Jayce on that fateful day. Maybe he was about to give up his endeavor of stopping himself becoming the villain in each and every timeline. Maybe, he began to accept that, just as he is fated to meet the arcane, he is also fated to doom the world. Then, he sees a little boy, crying over his dying mother in a snow storm. Maybe he thinks, even if i will destroy the world later, maybe I could do a good deed now, and saves the little boys mother. He gifts the little boy a rune, and goes on with his day.

And BOOM, Jayce just got introduced to the game. This little act changed the course of history entirely, suddenly there was a brilliant mind in the middle of Piltover, suddenly Jayce and Viktor meet, and suddenly, Hextech is invented. Viktor gets a partner he can trust, that he loves and admires and he gets this love and admiration and trust back. They understand each other in ways nobody else could, they share moments of intimacy and ways of love no romantic love could ever reach(thats also a reason i don't really ship Viktor and Jayce, deep love doesn't always have to be romantic in nature and there are so many other types of love that are no lesser and can be more intense(even though my gay heart yearned for them to kiss at that last scene ngl)(well this and maybe im also trying to convince myself that it doesn't always has to be romantic love that saves the world and is the most impactful and beautiful and fated etcetc(can you tell I'm aro)))

And suddenly, new hope flashes in mage Viktors eyes. It's him. He is the one. The only one. The one he was meant to meet, meant to choose so Jayce could choose Viktor again. And even though this timeline also ended in the wasteland mage Viktor saw so often already, now he knows, oh he feels that he will be the one to change it all.

So this little clip where we see mage Viktor giving little Jayce all these different runes? This is actually the end of mage Viktors journey, the last couple steps to finally find true peace, not in the form all of the Viktors always thought they will(glorious evolution), but in the form of accepting himself. And nobody else, not himself or Singed or Silco or Sky or Mel or Heimerdinger, only Jayce, only him, only you, could show me this.

(Finally, one of the runes caused Jayce to travel to another timeline where the apocalypse already has happened, and Ekko in one where he invents his timetravel device. Finally, mage Viktor can talk to Jayce and Jayce promises Viktor to stop him, forgiving him and loving him regardless. And Ekko, being the last push Jayce and Viktor needed to, being the catalyst of this even being able to happen)

I'm only writing/thinking about/posting this to satisfy my urge to understand exactly what was going on and why characters acted that way or why situations happened, to try to fill plotholes that nag my brain in a series that i absolutely love and gives me so many emotions(mostly pain, oh the misery). Idk and idc if any of that makes actual sense or fits in the lore of LoL or even the show itself, if it retconns some things or if the show itself retconns some of this theory/story, it makes sense in my head and I kinda like it, and thats what brings me peace idk how my brain works ok. (Plus it would be so cool to see some of the alternate timelines where for example viktor works with Silco and Jinx instead or smth)

[alyslittlehaven]

Act 1 - "The Isle of the ElderGlade." PROLOGUE

While Azriel and Cassian search for new information on the deathless god Koschei, they stumble upon a forgotten isle that has been thriving for over a millennia. Being treated by the High Priestess of the land and taken to their library to assist them with their mission. Should they trust this strange woman like her people do? Or should they turn back home or forget the ElderGlade ever even existed.

Warnings: Religion, cultish behavior, swearing, talks of sexual interactions, lewd jokes and or conversations, eventual NSFW/smut, Mates, fate, gore/blood, eventual character death, ACOTAR IS NOT MY BOOK.

“Azriel, you’re not listening,” Cassian said, his voice rising with frustration as he spoke. He watched his brother, whose eyes seemed to be locked onto something in the distance, not hearing a word he said. 

“We should head back. You have been rambling on about this ‘feeling’ you have, and you don’t even know where we are!” Cassian threw his hands up in the air, his voice booming through the desolate island they were on together. A small huff left the general's frame as he turned around to look toward Azriel.

 Azriel was already looking at Cassian, his eyes narrowing with tension. Azriel began to pace before the other man could say another word, his footing still light as he moved in a line. An unsettling rhythm started with the strike of his heel against the soil under his feet. A flicker of doubt slithered into his mind–had he been wrong to go with this…feeling he had been having? This flicker of hope that something would come out of these travels. Something crucial to help their side of the war.

Azriels eyes remained down on the ground as he brought his hands up and started to bite at his nails. “I can’t be wrong- we have to be close.” He continued to mutter under his breath, the fact that he could have been going off of a gut feeling gnawing at his insides. His shadows reacted quickly to his unease, darting out into different directions on the island in search of anything to soothe their master's doubt. 

Cassian's jaw tightened as he planted himself in his spot. “Are you serious? You aren’t even listening to me as I speak-” 

Azriel whipped around, he let out a loud huff of frustration. “I get it!” He snapped, cutting Cassian off from his previous train of thought. “You don’t trust me. You don’t trust my judgment. You and everyone else think I'm going to go insane!”

Azriels breath came in sharp, the weight of his words heavy between them now that silence dawned. He stood still for a moment, his eyes softening just a little as his shadow darted back into view. Two gold coins glinted in the dim light of the forest, the shadow quickly dropped them into their master's palm and curled around the back of his ear. Azriel’s attention suddenly shot to the passage behind Cassian.

“Azriel…” Cassian let out a sigh, slowly making his way over to his brother. “We don’t think you are going insane.” His tone was softer now, a hint of frustration in his voice still as he gently squeezed Azriel's shoulders with a smile. “We just think you need help. How much sleep have you had in the past month?” Azriel tore his eyes away from the passage and looked at his brother, rolling his eyes before smacking away Cassian's hand. A small yelp left the general at the impact.

“We don’t have time to focus on ourselves–” Cassian started to speak but stopped himself as Azriel gently pushed aside a few branches to reveal a beach. The sun now rising on the horizon as a man hummed by the water’s edge. A small boat rocked gently with the waves while the man cooked fish and held an empty mug.

“Is…That a man?” Cassian whispered to Azriel, his voice barely audible as they both watched the frail figure sing next to the fire. “Do you think he’s dying Az?” Azriel shot his brother a sharp look and Cassian smirked, snickering under his breath at his joke.

“Didn’t your boys’ mother teach you that it’s rude to talk behind someone's back while you're in their company?” Cassian flinched as the man spoke and Azriel Instinctively reached for his dagger as the old man moved to pull his fish off of the fire and smell it. “Are you blind-” 

“It’s one gold clipping per person for a trip across the nymph!” The man quickly cut the two off and his voice cracked. As if he’d smoked mirth-root for years, his words ragged with age. The brothers looked at each other for a moment before Cassian shrugged his shoulders. Azriel nodded before he moved forward and dropped the two coins into the man's cup. A hum leaving the odd figure.

The boat's lantern flickers before it burns bright, casting a warm glow across the old wooden hull. The ferryman let out a laugh before grabbing a paddle and jumping into his boat. Azriel and Cassian exchanged a glance before climbing onto the boat alongside him. The older man started to push off, using all his might to get the boat off of the shore he once sat on.

Cassian cleared his throat, smiling nervously as the ferryman looked at him with a rotting smile. “So…sir-”

“You may call me Giles Young man.” The man pointed his oar at Cassian. 

“Giles…where exactly does the boat take us?” The older man stopped paddling for a moment and stared at the two before laughing. “Oh! Oh, how wonderful!” Azriel reached for his dagger, a frown tugging on his face as Giles finally calmed down.

“Newcomers, eh?” The two Illyrians glared at him. “Well, to the Isle of the ElderGlade of course!” The man started to snicker as his oars gracefully pushed them further and further across the river, a mist settling into the air around them. The light of the boat barely made it through the thick fog. 

Azriel coughed, covering his face from the rancid smelling mist as Cassian squinted his eyes, the man that they once sat with disappearing with a loud cackle.

Eventually, the mist had cleared from their sight and the sun came up. Their eyes adjust to its shine. Cassian whined, covering his eyes with his hands as he mumbled about the older man Giles. 

“Cassian..” Azriel moved Cassian's arms away from his face. The bright light blinded him for a moment before his vision cleared to reveal a beautiful city made of what seemed to be ruins, the buildings made of stone and people bustling down the streets. As the two docked, Giles appeared again cackling.

“Welcome to the ruins!”

--

(Totally pulled this out of my ass.)

[all-pacas]

i mentioned this in the notes but. you know what. let's add it to this insanity: the way cameron ties into this. the way chase is absolutely, positively sure with her. for the first time in his life, with all his doubts and all his attempts to be good and obedient and do what he's told and follow the script of god, of his father, he… falls in love. and he's sure.

CHASE: You have doubts. CAMERON: And you don’t? CHASE: No. CAMERON: Well, that’s… naïve. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you. That’s how I feel right now. But I don’t… know. CHASE: I’ll wait until you do. CAMERON: I can’t know. No one knows. CHASE: I do.

ten years from now, he says. he has no doubts, he's absolutely sure, probably for the first time in his life: this is his path, he's figured it out, he knows, and six months later it's over. (no wonder, btw. no wonder chase doesn't seriously date again after this. not because of cameron, exactly: because of what all that meant and represented. another attempt at defining his life and finding direction, and it didn't even last a year.)

by s7 and s8, house pretty regularly accuses chase of being afraid of intimacy, of sleeping around to avoid relationships and connections. chase was presented as a flirt before this, but not that.

he falls immediately for moira, the nun, someone also struggling with guilt (the boy she nannied died, she blames herself) and faith and who wants desperately to find meaning, to find purpose. it was a rebound, chase seems to admit house is correct on that front, but that doesn't mean it wasn't real, that moira wasn't a mirror to his every internalized struggle. he tells her he was married once, that he can do relationships.

MOIRA: I tried the outside world. It wasn't enough. CHASE: Ever been married? MOIRA: No. CHASE: No kids. You never found a career. Doesn't sound like the outside world got much of a try. What you're headed towards now, fourteen hours a day in silent prayer, never having a family, never touching another human being. MOIRA: Just because that's what you'd miss the most. The nurses talk. CHASE: Nothing's wrong with having fun. MOIRA: They said you were almost killed three weeks ago. You go right back to fun? CHASE: Is that why you wanna be a nun? Someone broke your heart? MOIRA: No. I'm just looking for something more. CHASE: So am I.

no marriage. no kids. no family. "nothing wrong with having fun," he says, but plenty of other episodes explicitly say he finds sleeping around boring, he is bored on his date later this episode, it isn't fun.

HOUSE: Or you're terrified of intimacy, which is why you're a serial slut. But right now you're grasping at an emotional life raft. Ideally someone for whom intimacy's not an option. That actually makes sense, which I can't say about anything else you've been doing.

honestly, has chase ever really had much of the 'outside world?' he's probably known he would be a doctor since he was a child. he doesn't hate it, but did he ever have a chance to consider anything else? he has a career, but in this episode he's doubting and regretting it. in the last episode, he looks scared, not proud, to have his name on the door. he's not unhappy. i really don't think he is. but he's never had much choice either. he doesn't have any of the things he tells moira she'll want, either.

and yes it is all tied together. the constant searching and longing for meaning and purpose. moira has it. he doesn't. the one brief window chase did have meaning and purpose and what he wanted (family, intimacy, love, certainty) slammed shut, and continues to affect and fuck with him for years after; he's still reacting to it even now. ("i was married," he assures moira. "i can do relationships.") insane

Okay need to make a post entirely about chase being insane about religion. Chase's endless religious cycling. how badly and desperately and clearly he wants to believe, how much he wants faith and god, and how he can never quite - make it. Never quite get there. How he openly admires and defends the faith of others, faith and prayer as concepts, how he turns to confession in a crisis, how he still has large parts of the bible committed to memory, how he never answers any questions about his faith, if he believes in God, if anything.

In Damned If You Do, he shares his favorite bible verse with the nun. The episode itself paraphrases it a little, but the verse he mentions reads:

In this you rejoice, though now for a little while you may have to suffer various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith, more precious than gold which though perishable is tested by fire, may redound to praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

(you will suffer. it will be so hard. you will be tested. gold can be melted and your faith is more valuable, and if you keep trying, you will be rewarded, you will.)

(AUGUSTINE: Why did you leave the seminary? CHASE: That test. You passed, I failed.)

Here Kitty:

PATIENT: Do you want to tell me what an idiot I'm being? CHASE: No. I really believe that there are things that science can't understand. That there is a role for faith and prayer. But it's in the waiting room. Not the O.R. PATIENT: There's a reason I got sick. There's a reason for all the bad things that have happened to me. I don't know what that reason is. But I know that if there isn't one… If there's no greater purpose in the world. Then it's not a world I want to live in. CHASE: I'll schedule an operating room.

House Training:

CHASE: You want to go get drunk? FOREMAN: No thanks. I’ve got paperwork. CHASE: Listen, I don’t… I don’t know what I believe, but sometimes I need to think there’s something out there paying attention. So when I can’t talk to anybody, I talk to God, and pretend somebody’s listening. We were all wrong, Foreman. Even House was wrong. FOREMAN: I know.

He leaves the chapel in Damned if You Do. He prays for the baby in Forever. He gives the woman in Here Kitty her risky surgery; he defends the faith healer and Wilson's girlfriend's faith in House vs. God.

House vs. God:

HOUSE: When you were in seminary, did God ever talk to you? CHASE: …No.

Chase:

I always wanted to believe. It would have made my life a lot easier. It never took.

(AUGUSTINE: You told me your favorite passage. Would you like to hear mine? “Celebrate and be glad, for your brother was dead and is alive again.” CHASE: …The prodigal son.)

[mirrorsforeyes]

another day, another complete stranger asking to be friends with me on websites (not tumblr)

the urge to delete everything and keep all my accounts everywhere all empty and private. there's nothing I hate more than people who ask complete strangers to be friends with them, you've never seen me before, you've never interacted with me before, you know nothing about me, and yet you want to be friends with me? no I don't think so, you don't, you're looking for friends but you don't want to be friends with ME because you don't know anything about me. the internet is not any different from real life in this sense, you naturally build relationships with people by continuously interacting them more frequently and more closely over time, until you become friends naturally without ever having to ask "do you want to be friends?" like a robot. i already emptied my rateyourmusic account, no profile picture, no username, no country, no comment section, because annoying losers kept bugging me like this. do I have to use "DONT TALK TO ME LEAVE ME ALONE I DONT WANT FRIENDS" as my username everywhere? god...

[jerswayman]

LOVE THY GOALIE. GIVE THY GOOD BOY HEAD PATS.

[gruesomejack]

"Slow down!"

Vi wasn't babbling a mile a minute and Nick could barely make out what he was saying. Honestly, he was pretty certain he'd switched languages half way through, and that wouldn't help either of them.

Sucking in a breath, Vi turned around to make sure the room's door was shut, and gave a paranoid glance around to assure it was only the two of them. Once he was satisfied, he shifted back towards his brother and broke into a wide grin. "I have a date with Charlie!"

Before Nick could say anything in response, Vi had grabbed him by the collar to pull him close, his eyes almost manic. "Don't say anything about it. Or else."

Pushing him off, Nick was stuck between surprised and confused. He'd introduced his brother to the band years ago, and here he was in a beat up band tee trying to tell him he had a date with Charlie Reimes. He didn't have to step back very far to look at it and see the insanity in it. Brows furrowed, he shook his head a little. "What? I didn't know he was into guys." He managed, "How'd you manage to pull that off?"

"That's why you can't say anything!" Vi chimed and gave his brother a gentle smack on the shoulder, smiling bright again. "I'm going to his place for dinner. It's not some big thing, but... it is a thing." Pink cheeked, he bounced on his toes and hummed. "You have to help me decide what to make."

------

Setting a handful of bags down, Vi took a moment to smooth the wrinkles from his sweater before reaching out to knock on the door. He could hear barking from inside and a tickled smile pulled across his cheeks-- One that only spread as the door was pulled open and Charlie's face was revealed behind it. Grinning, he set down the other bags before diving in for a quick hug. "Hi!" He started, pausing only at the huff of the dog blocked behind the man. Vi ducked down then and gave Buster a good scratch. "Hello, big baby." He cooed and snuck his hand into his pocket, tugging out a bigger dog treat to offer him.

Peeking up at Charlie, he smiled again. "Ready for me to make a mess of your kitchen?"

Victory checked his phone again, opening the messaging app and confirming for the hundredth time this was the right spot. He'd pulled off some kind of miracle in the last month, not only getting in contact with one of his favorite artists, but managing to keep it going almost regularly. And now he was standing outside of an unfamiliar building on an unfamiliar street in the middle of Appalachian nowhere, getting ready to meet him in person.

He'd dressed down for the occasion, mostly for his own sake, but for Charlie's too. His own success was leading to more and more people clocking him while he was out, and he doubted dressing like Elton John would help him blend in in a place like this. The bleached hair he'd been sporting recently was tucked nicely under a baseball cap, his extensive ink work covered by a baggy sweatshirt. He'd even taken his earrings out in a rush, storing them in his pocket when he realized he'd forgotten to leave them in his hotel room. The last thing Charlie needed was to be bombarded because he agreed to meet him.

In the middle of using his phone screen as a mirror, his eyes widened as it lit up with a text. Vi quickly shoved it in his pocket and gave a quick sweep of the area. He frowned for a moment, but before he could pull out his phone again, his eyes landed on a familiar face, his own quickly brightening into a grin. Bouncing on his feet, he laughed as he waved his arms to usher his pen pal over.

Charlie Reimes. Cane Corso had been a staple on his playlists for years, and here was the frontman in the flesh. -- All because he'd gotten drunk and too bold, sending him what was an embarrassing DM expressing his admiration. It was a testament to maybe not all of his questionable choices led to questionable outcomes.

Beaming, he practically hopped the rest of the way over to him, his smile toothy, cheeks pink, and his eyes crinkled. "I can't believe it! I don't think you understand how massive this is to me." He said, babbling a little in his excitement. "I can't even begin to thank you. You've been such an inspiration to me forever and-" Oh! Oh, shit. Face flooding with color, he lifted his hands to wave off the starstruck gibberish, and instead offered him his palm. "I-I'm Vi." He managed, "It's nice to see you in person."

@purposefully-lost

[mattodore]

birthday boy 🎂