#I'm insane I'm sorry

[slowpokegamer]

Sometimes I get struck with the evil, overwhelming guilt that my comfort character is Dandelion, because I genuinely know in the books he is such a piece of shit and sometimes when I engage in meta and discussions about the Witcher I feel like. A weird imposter syndrome if that makes sense??

Like man I love diving into this world and reading and discussing different interpretations and meta on the series, but however I am unfortunately completely fucking stupid, and sometimes I don't understand stuff as well as I want to, and I can struggle to understand and process more in depth takes on the Witcher books. And then I feel the guilt of a thousand suns because I'm like

"man... All these cool people who's posts I love to read are looking at me and they think I'm stupid and my favorite character is Dandelion and they're gonna think I'm so annoying and don't understand what I'm talking about I have to jump now"

Man has biggest fear of being obnoxious. Please forgive my crimes of having autism and hyperfixating on literally the worst dude in the world /lh

[beetlezebub69]

a fun fact about me is I go feral when I see Charlie Day anywhere that isn’t It’s Always Sunny

I was at my boyfriend’s house and I screamed because I saw him in an ad /true story

[seagiri]

drawpile with the gang

i think the three of them should kiss

[randomloserlover]

cobs destroys mephone's objectsonas

[disenchanteds]

jean moreau dying in every universe except this one. and in this one he gets three whole books to overcome it and heal and have a story of his own

[nariism]

neuvillette is aware that he shouldn’t have let you get so close. but he did, and now he’s lamenting the fact that your hands are grasping at his soft horns — his fucking horns, of all places — and he might like it.

uptight and strait-laced, you’ve never known the chief justice to be someone so easily flustered. yet here he is with heat crawling up his neck, so warm that you can feel it against your palms as they ghost over his skin.

you can’t help but laugh at his current situation.

he was vehemently against you coming anywhere near his hair at first, grumbling about how his horns were on the sensitive side and he would rather not have to go into work feeling uncomfortably aware of their presence on his head.

however, you were hard to deny with that little smile on your face and such soft hands grabbing at his arms, tugging him closer. a sweet voice chanting, "please, honey? pretty please?"

neuvillette has never been good at denying you what you want.

it’s how he ends up sitting at your shared vanity. you comb through his long hair, watching him with amusement in the mirror as he huffs and jolts with every brush of your fingers against his horns.

the fact that he was letting you get anywhere near them was surely a testament to his trust in you. he was completely vulnerable here, at your mercy.

“sorry,” you mumble disingenuously, clearly enjoying seeing your usually serious husband falling apart with a simple action. you quickly tie off the end of his hair with a bow and he sighs in relief, thinking that the torment is over.

it's far from over.

he draws a sharp breath when you lean forward and press two gentle kisses on him; one on either side of his head just beside his horns.

neuvillette glowers at you in the reflection, disapproval written all over his face. "stop that," he scolds.

you do, but only because you're worried he might melt into a puddle before your very eyes if you continue.

it becomes a daily routine after that, with him sitting patiently in front of the mirror while you brush and tie off his hair. and you always end it the same way: two kisses, a soft "have a good day at work," murmured against him, and a mischievous little smile that makes him sigh.

he responds everyday with the same two words. "stop that," with a narrow-eyed glare.

the day you do stop, he's confused and irritated.

not only because you have the audacity to throw a wrench into routine again, which you know he hates, but also because he can't figure out why he misses your lips so much.

"what are you doing? i am going to be late."

"hm?" you peer up lazily from your spot on the bed, still half asleep.

"you have to do my hair."

"i thought you didn't want me to, so i slept in today."

your husband is eerily silent for a moment as he mulls over your words. then, he carefully perches himself on the edge of the bed, back turned to you expectantly and still wordless.

no, he would never admit he likes it just a little bit — the vulnerability, the trust, the feeling of your hands threading through his hair, the intimacy of it. hell no.

but neuvillette doesn't have to say a lot of things for you to understand; not when the way his skin heats up says it all; not when you're the first person to touch his horns in centuries; not when he’s saying stop that with such an affectionate glimmer in his eyes.

you give him four kisses that morning, two on either side.

© ALABOADOA 2023 — please do not translate or post my works to other platforms.

[saduboiss]

I’m okay.

it’s getting bad again

[tazmiilly]

they hold the miscommunication record

[mwagneto]

i'm sorry but i cannot stop thinking about it for reallll imagine you're richer than god and never had to face consequences for anything and you have so much money you don't even know what to do with it so you toss a quarter million at the stupidest tourism option on earth. and you see that the paper you have to sign tells you you could die and you look at the flimsy metal tube you're going to be plummeting into the ocean in and it doesn't even phase you because bad things don't happen to people like you. imagine some hours into the journey you realise something is wrong. maybe not you but somehow the knowledge that there was a fuckup becomes known to the 5 of you trapped in there. and you know you can't get out from the inside and you know you have no food and no bathroom and not even the room to ever stand up again. when does the realisation that your wealth cannot protect you from your inevitable mortality set in. how does someone like that reconcile with both death and the fact that it's 100% their own doing? can someone like this even come to terms with that or will they be fighting to find someone to blame until the last second? when does it reach you that all 5 of you are going to die one by one and there's nothing you can do? does the fact that 5 of you have enough air until thursday but one of you could have enough air until at least next week ever cross anyone's mind.

[gamora-borealis]

reminiscing on dan and phil's life story together always makes me feel insane because it sounds like the plot of a fanfic: two freakishly tall awkward british gays with matching emo haircuts. dan starts out as a fan of phil, phil encourages him to make his own videos after they start talking online. dan only started trying to get phil's attention online on his 18th birthday and within months they meet up irl, and the Q&A video they make together the first time they meet blows up. within a little over a year they are practically living together, then they are accidentally outed because of a freak YouTube glitch as well as fans discovering old posts. nevertheless they become pioneers in what YouTubers can do outside the platform itself - Radio Hosts/Celebrity Interviews/Touring Stage Shows/Books/Party Games/Disney Cameos. they eventually come out via a dan video essay with 12 million views. later they move in to their third place together, a luxury home they bought and designed with all the money they made over the years. then when Dan goes on a solo tour in 2022 they reveal they that they had never spent more than two weeks apart since 2009. And don't even get me started on the joint gaming channel or the cat whiskers...

BUT the wildest part, that knocks me out every time I remember, is how phil, who allegedly has psychic abilities passed on from his grandmother, used tarot cards in a video to predict that he would meet someone with personality traits that exactly match dan's, about three months before they ever began talking online. like. how is that a real sentence I just typed. do we live in a simulation.

[elitisim]

Unfortunately for you all, I have NOT died.

I HAVE, however, spent two straight months rotting in bed with my mandatory bi-annual sinus infection. 😎

i miss making sims stuff tho and working on patterns is actually pretty easy to do from my laptop while in bed, and it gives me something to do that isn't just fartin around through the entire Yakuza series while fucking zooted on medical grade anti-histamines, so here we go. The set's called The Jump Off Collection because [i've been gone for a minute and now i'm back.]

INFO:

275 Fully Recolorable, Seamless Patterns!

There's like 10 or so patterns included in the file that aren’t in the preview image. I couldn't make them fit

Most patterns have 2 channels, a few have 3 and a couple have 4.

Patterns are mostly located in theme, geometric and abstract but there are a couple stragglers in various other categories

Comes in two flavors: Merged and Individuals

Both types contain the exact same type of stuff (package file and preview images) except version one is one big merged file and the version has individual files.

Tagging: @pis3update, @kpccfinds, @sssvitlanz,

[DOWNLOAD MERGED]

[DOWNLOAD INDIVIDUAL]

[ylangelegy]

The first thing Jihoon notices when he wakes up is that his neck doesn't hurt.

Dazed, he squints up at the sunlight streaming through a nearby window. It's one of those dreamless naps where you lose all sense of time. He could've been out for minutes, hours.

It takes him another beat to realize that he's in a bed. Not the couch at the studio. Not some corner of the company. A proper bed— crisp white sheets, fluffy pillows.

He groans softly. There's only one person who could be behind all this. And sure enough, your voice reaches him through his haze. "You're awake."

Jihoon mumbles something between 'mhm' and 'sorta'. One of his hands goes to rub at his eyes, like it might somehow will the drowsiness away. He vaguely makes out your figure, seated inches away from him. He has half the mind to ask what you're doing this time. Scrolling through your phone? Reading a book?

Instead, he grouses, "I fell asleep again." His words— gruff around the edges— aren't a question. It's more a statement of a fact.

You hum your confirmation. "It was just a couple of minutes." Then, softer. "You should get some more rest."

Jihoon wants to protest; he really does. A part of him has always felt guilty about this. He already has so little time with you as is, and yet he somehow finds himself squandering it over sleep.

But then you're carding your fingers through his hair and his eyes instinctively flutter close. "Not fair," he exhales. "You don't play fair."

Your hand shakes a little as you laugh.

"Go to sleep, Jihoon-ah," you repeat. "I'll wake you up in a bit."

(You never do, Jihoon thinks. You always say you're going to wake me up and that we'll go out and do something you like, but you always let me sleep in. I'll wake up in the middle of the night with you cuddled in to me— another day that we could've been normal, wasted because I'm perpetually tired.)

"Okay." Jihoon sounds much younger than he really is in that moment. "Okay, good night."

Right before drifting off, he summons up just enough energy to reach for your hand. He thinks he also manages to say I love you.

Jihoon dreams of the view from an airplane window, when the sun is setting over the clouds; a stage during sound check, where twelve other boys make it all worth it; your hand in his, and the quiet way you say I love you back.

[lesbianwyllravengard]

It's truly so funny letting Astarion drink your blood when you aren't romancing him and absolutely do not want to. Like I'm so sorry man I know you're really laying it on thick with the "sweet thing" and "darling" and lascivious innuendos but I'm literally just being a bro. I don't mind you drinking my blood because I care about you, as a homie tho. Sorry.

[beif0ngs]

C'mon heart, beat loudly again! 💓

[tofixtheshadows]

So I've been thinking lately about how Mithrun is Kabru's dark mirror (more on that another time- it needs its own post), and I thought it interesting that one of their parallels is that they were both cared for by Milsiril, but in opposite directions. She took Kabru in as her foster after he was orphaned and tried to convince him not to become an adventurer. On the flip side, she helped rehabilitate Mithrun specifically so that he could rejoin the Canaries.

And I kept wondering: why?

For Kabru, obviously she loves him a whole lot- despite any other shortcomings in their relationship, I do believe that.

So I get why she tries to convince him not to go dungeoning, and, failing that, at least prepares him as thoroughly as she can.

But why help Mithrun? She used to hate Mithrun, but after realizing what a secretly twisted person he was, she actually thought of him more positively (oh, Milsiril). So it wasn't as if she held the kind of grudge that might motivate her to make his already-depleted life even more miserable by sending him back to the dungeons. And it wasn't that she felt bad for him either, since she didn't visit Mithrun for the first ~20 years of his recovery.

The Adventurer's Bible says that Utaya was the impetus for Mithrun returning to the Canaries, but Milsiril is the one who made the trip to see him and tell him about it.

Why would Milsiril work so hard to get her old coworker back into fighting fit? Why encourage him to return to such a dangerous lifestyle, when she was the one who chose not to mercy-kill him?

That last panel is such a crazy thing to hint at and then never elaborate on. Without it we could have just thought that Milsiril wanted the Canaries' work to continue without her, even if it seemed out of character. I think some people even assume she's just a natural caretaker as a foster mom and handwave it to include nursing Mithrun too. What could Milsiril's suspicious motives be? What does she gain from Mithrun joining the Canaries that isn't an altruistic desire to see dungeons safely sealed? Feeling a sense of responsibility for the work she left behind isn't an ulterior motive.

My theory is: Milsiril, knowing that Mithrun was empty save for the burning desire to face the demon again, wound him up like a clockwork doll and pointed him back at the dungeons.

Hoping that he'd eliminate the biggest threat to Kabru's life, before it was too late for him.

Milsiril the puppetmaster.