#I'm here to depress everyone

[vroomvroomwee]

I don't know if anyone's noticed this but Crowley still has ginger hair in the minisodes. The only time he has that stark red colour hair is when he's an angel and after Armaggedon.

Almost as if being happy causes that. As if him being under Hells influence and supervision somehow drains him, drains the colour and life out of him. And now when he's stress free and doesn't have that crippling anxiety from having to constantly look over his back he has colour again.

Aziraphale makes him happy.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Council of lovefools.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[enemywasp]

I HATE tiktok and the Internet in general rn for the obsession with "oh this person's smellyyy" "Brother it STINKS over here" "BOO 💧🧼🧽🚿" and stuff like that. I wish I could put into words how demeaning and patronising that whole idea is and people implying anyone they don't like doesn't wash.

For one there's something grating about being insulted in a manner like we're in nursery again. But also WHY is that the go to insult. Why do you associate these things? Especially to those you deem "chronically online". Like I don't want to sound pathetic but it feels so nasty to me.

is it extreme to say this feels tied to ableism? And classism too?

[mattodore]

birthday boy 🎂

[demaparbat-hp]

Zuko was a child when he met Agni. Then, the spirits started coming to him. Eyes hidden in the hallways, voices pleading for help, for recognition, for remembrance.

Zuko could see Agni. He could see the broken remains of a Great Spirit and the empty smiles of amnesiac ghosts.

And they could see him in return.

[moonchild-in-blue]

If you choose to look at Sleep as an allegory for depression/mental illness, the romantic and co-dependent nature of Vessel's lyrics hurt that much more.

"I hate you and you're bad for me" "I don't know who I am without you" "Please set me free" "Please don't leave me" "You're an intrinsic part of me" "I must become someone new".

Ya feel me?

[artsyebonyrose]

"it is so worth it, sticking out" are words i personally really needed to hear as of recently.

(mini personal chat under the readmore, vaguely going into depression/sui thoughts so pls don't read if you're not able to <3)

i felt that stream so deep in my bones. to keep it brief, the last three years i've been having Bad Thoughts pop up at various points to varying degrees, and this year i got it the worse it's ever been. i've finally come to the end of my three year uni course, and it's left me feeling this sick and awful dread that once it ends, so does my life. from january to march i was unable to work, just played nitw and felt like a husk, or crying. then i tried to pull myself out of it, and by early april i'd already fallen back in. its such an all consuming thing, and the Bad Thoughts have been daily. i've only just started poking my head back up mid may because i became obsessed with resident evil (lol) which has aided in distracting my mind.

what i'm trying to say is, what was discussed and said in today's stream resonated with me very deeply. and it's awful to see another person in a similar harrowing position. i don't know how to get better yet, but i'm going to try. and i hope you all are able to get better too. you deserve to!

and aimsey if you happen to read this, thank you for being here. thank you for staying. the world needs you in it.

nothing can take you down 💜

[stardustedknuckles]

It would just be so easy for Steel to start behaving overtly controlling and War-minded at literally any point (seeking control and owning up to what that means) and at that point it would become easy to dislike her and her sway over Suvi but that's not the POINT, she is GENUINELY wise and so, so brilliant and she loves Suvi so truly and she is infuriatingly level headed and sincere in her efforts to help and so very kind, and I love her character more than I can adequately put into words and the inevitable clash of ideals, the rift that will and must develop, is going to destroy me. Because I genuinely don't know if Steel could choose Suvi over the empire and in fact I think it's pretty clear that she wouldn't, but that does not diminish the love she has for Suvi and the two things being true simultaneously have me biting the air. Steel is a goddamn masterclass in examining characters who act from fundamentally kind intent within a twisted framework of lifelong indoctrination and beliefs that have taught her a distorted view of what that should look like. Bringing the empire's light to the world is the ultimate kindness to her, and she wants nothing more than to be a key part of the mechanism by which that will happen. Because it will happen. And we're not told this, we're shown a brilliant and devoted mother figure who will stop at nothing to make a better world in the image of the empire her life belongs to.

Every single time something goes wrong with Ame and/or Eursulon (and even Suvi) I brace for the kind of overbearing "us VS them" mentality that never comes. She genuinely wants collaboration and answers so she can help. she very much means well, as do they all. It compels the absolute hell out of me.

[su1c1d3wh0r3z]

i don't deserve anything, i treat everyone like shit..

[tearlessrain]

seriously can catastrophes stop happening for five minutes my brain is already fried from the ones we're already experiencing

[abandoned-quiche]

really cool swap au idea is formulating in my mind

so like. it's one of those swaps that's like

kris <--> noelle

susie <--> berdly

instead of susie living in hometown as a child, moving away, and then moving back as a teen only to find that nobody remembers her like in canon (source: the oracle told me)

berdly is the one that did that.

susie stayed in town, so she never grew to resent kris, only growing closer to them, so now kris and susie are an inseparable duo. they're like team rocket if team rocket didn't attack people. everyone thinks they're scary, but they haven't actually hurt anyone - they really just hang out with each other while everyone else avoids them.

meanwhile berdly, having not lived in hometown at the time, did not win that spelling bee, and never got branded as a gifted kid and became faux-egotistical. he's just the boy with no friends that nobody talks to. all that kept him company was video games and his neighbor, clamgirl. when he came back to hometown, he was excited to finally reunite with all the friends he made

he was just a forgettable little bluebird. nobody even remembered his name.

when he gets to the dark world and hears of the prophecy, he's overjoyed. finally, he has a chance to BE someone. he had a PURPOSE, something he could DO! (and it's just like his videogames!)

and then he becomes all high and mighty like he did in the game.

[queerofthedagger]

went outside for the first time in a week (shh i was sick) and it finally feels like autumn oh my god like. it's getting dark at 7pm and stays dark for 12 hours and the days are getting shorter and we're finally getting into the half of the year where I'm thriving i'm so happy i'm going to cry fuck

[alsojnpie]

hey. um. i love him

[coldercreation]

PSA: 

If you have related to how I have described Nathan’s struggles with his mental health and some experiences with life; emotional, physical and social etc (ignore the story/his fam background for this; I mean if you have been able to relate to his feelings/anxiety/negative physical sensations etc.)

Might be worth it to get your blood checked. 

Especially B12, Vitamin D, Iron levels and Ferritin (ferritin should be 100+).

Building on top of the character, character background, and my research into trauma / mental health etc, I have always used a lot of my personal experience when describing emotions, feelings, and how mental health issues can feel like or present. It’s my attempt to make the writing feel realistic, had I experienced the things in the story or not. Aka even if the story was high fantasy and thus not realistic, I’d source my own feelings to make it ‘real’.

So. Regardless of what's causing it in the story: If you have ever related to how Nathan FEELS or describes his experience with the world and his brain… (Anxiety, depression, chronic fatigue, feeling like an outsider/in a fishbowl, easily overwhelmed or over tired; social withdrawal, social anxiety, heart palpitations, chest pains, breathlessness, dissociation, irritability, issues with cognitive function; memory, overthinking, insomnia, brain fog, panic attacks, slow recovery from physical activity, etc etc et fucking c) 

Turns out bish has been chronically deficient of many things for a very long time due to stomach issues that stopped nutrients from absorbing. Antidepressants have never successfully worked for me, and it’s now looking like that’s because my mental health stuff could've largely been a physical symptom, instead of just purely mental health?? 

I have been on a pile of supplements for a bit now and uhh… It’s like night and day? Even with the other health stuff I've been getting treated for, it's been... So much better?? Like. Life changing amount of difference?? And I’m only just starting out fixing these deficiencies, which could take a long time. But...

Holy shit, “Better” might actually be a real thing after all?? There was a reason I've been so "stuck"???

Kind of mad… And sad. Because if this is true and I keep feeling like I have been recently, it means I’ve lost a lot of time to this. I try to focus on how good I’ve been feeling though, and stay curious for this journey of what literally feels like a second chance at life.

Just… Wanted to post this in case it could help someone else. This is a highly personal experience, mental health issues absolutely exist on their own too and there's possibly often overlap as well. But stuff like this can make existing mental health conditions worse too, so either way it’s worth checking. 

Yeah. So.

Happy new year?

From someone who might be pulling a whole Phoenix moment???? xx

[pollen]

:|

[vampyroteuthid]

just learned that one of the two people who i could call friends here fucking got married a couple weeks ago and the one other person (the one i lived on the same property with for 15 months) was there and even though i have seen her since it happened neither of them told me about this. and they have also regularly been hanging out without ever inviting me. obviously i don't need to be involved in everything but you never asked if i wanted to hang out even once even though i said multiple times hey we should all hang out sometime. ok 👍🏻