#i deserve to die
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i don't deserve anything, i treat everyone like shit..
#tw vent#tw venting#tw anger issues#tw angry#tw angst#tw depressive#tw depressing thoughts#tw i'm a narcissist#i hate my mind#i hate everybody#i hate my brain#i hate everything#i hate everyone#i hate eating#i hate my body#i hate it here#i hate this#tw selfhate#i deserve to suffer#i deserve to die#i deserve to be alone#i deserve nothing#i only think about myself#i'm a fucking mess#i'm a fucking idiot#i'm a horrible person#i'm not a good person#i don't deserve anyone#i deserve kindness#i don't deserve anything
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am I the most disgusting and unappealing woman on earth or is my period just coming this week
#I think I’ve gained some weight#granted I think it’s happy weight but#now every time I eat a meal I’m like#I deserve to die#I ate lunch at noon and I just now had an apple and some shit for dinner#and immediately my brain was like kill her.#tw eating disorder#tw food#tw body image#idk I’ve been okay enough to avoid a scale for a long time#so I don’t actually know if I have or not but I think I have
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imagining myself dead in some of the worst ways possible because why the fuck not lmaoo
#IM FUCKING EXAUSTED#SOMEBODY FUCKING KILL ME ALREADY#JUST END IT#DO IT#IM FUCKING TIRED#I DESERVE TO BE IN PAIN#I DESERVE TO DIE#I DESERVE TO SUFFER#KILL ME#FUCKING KILL ME#FUCK
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I rarely give myself credit where it’s due because I feel like I don’t deserve it. This is an exception. I truly wish that in my entire childhood and teenage years that I had an adult I could trust and talk to about being depressed and suicidal. I yearn after all the years I’ve lost to silence that I let myself go to. I wish I get what doctors send out to 14 years old now with options to speak to them independently. Imagine if I felt safe enough to speak to a GP about how I was feeling, how badly I wanted to die. Sometimes it’s hard to think about those expired possibilities because who knows how much better I would’ve felt now if I’d gotten help at that age? Maybe I would be happier, less lonely and yearning after death so clearly. I’m sad all the time crying inside my brain because tears don’t come to my eyes no more. I’m devoid of emotion if not only on the outside. Maybe my traumas could have been healed or at least become manageable not like now where I’m getting triggered and thrown into fugue states constantly, disassociating everytime i get overwhelmed. Life could’ve been so much different so why can’t I choose to die on my own terms.
#complex ptsd#poetry#help#tw ptsd#ptsd recovery#cptsd vent#living with cptsd#just cptsd things#cptsd recovery#child abuse#childhood trauma#mental illness#mentally fucked#mentally exhausted#mentally tired#mentally unstable#exhaustion#emotionally exhausted#actually cptsd#tw cptsd#cptsdhealing#cptsd problems#living with ptsd#social anxiety#abuse recovery#sad thoughts#longing#i deserve to die
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here again. I've tried hard to feel better. failed again.
#bpd#i wanna die#i'm so pathetic#bpd thoughts#sh#body dismorphia#i hate my brain#i hate my existence#depressing shit#tw#wish i was dead#i deserve to die#tw self destructive behavior#tw selfhate#tw sui vent#im unloveable#i'm sad#bpd problems#borderline personality disorder#im a failure#self destruction#sewerslidal#disgusting#depression#fat#bpd vent#borderline#bpd mood#rip me
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Can I do anything to help?
you could kill me!
#i just wanna die.#i deserve to die.#i made one of the most important people to me uncomfy#they probably hate me#i deserve to die
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I fucking hate myself.
#I am a waste of space#I deserve to die#I’ll never amount to anything#I am a complete failure#I’m a horrible selfish person#I don’t deserve to live#vent#I’m so fucking disgusting#I should be dead#I need to die#and instead I’m just venting online for attention and curled up into a ball crying#so many people have it worse than me#I’m just some asshole behind a screen posting about my personal woes#I think things would be a lot better for everyone if I was dead#I might be selfish but at least if I was dead I can’t hurt anyone anymore#I’m worried people will leave me
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I hadn’t cut at all this year and I blew it all away in one panic attack
I cut my arm deep and now it’s going to scar. I can’t get my tattoo now because my worthless ass cut right where i was going to get it done
#i deserve to die#i’m too stupid to livr#too stupid for this world#i can’t keep doing this#as soon as i cut i knew i made a huge mistakr#why cant i just die naturally#why cant i do one thing right and end it all already#everyone would be better off without me#everyonr
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vent 2
tbh I feel like me being traumatized is something I deserve, because ever since I was 14 years old I always attention-seek for help from my 17 year old and 18 year old friends yet i deserve it whenever they blame me and exploit me, it's like they hate me and want me dead so I did for them but they switched after that happened they hated me more and more then I began to call myself such a sorrow dirty fucker
like tbh I always deserve it, I deserve it. but I just have to act fine I am fine I don't wanna act vulnerable infront of people I js don't need any help or saving I can get through this I am fine. really, I am fine.
#shut up#vent post#tw vent#i deserve this#i deserve to die#I don't need any help#i deserve to be in pain#i deserve to be alone#I am fine rlly#well not really
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Hey guys, what do you do when you suck at absolutely everything, including all your hobbies? Asking for a friend.
#suicidal#depressed#depression#suicide#i wish i was dead#hate myself#failure#waste of space#waste of oxygen#i deserve to die#i wish i was never born#I will give 1k € to anyone who agrees to kill me#in cash#i wish i could cut but i promised my partner i wouldn't so i have no way to escape the way I'm feeling therefore i need to kms#help
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i was doing so good. i thought we were okay. im sorry im such a piece of shit partner. im sorry im not enough for you. i can just kill myselfnif it makes it wasier.
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Asked my parents for water so I could take my pills and can’t even get that from them
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Babe wake up kazuha event birthday art
OH MT FUCKIGNBEAVEJWB(!,@&#×;;$@>*@;# I FORGOT WHAT TODAY WAS OH MY TFOSJSEBA GOD FYCK THE TRAVELER IS LITERALLY ME???? WHY IS HE LOOKING AT THEM LIKE THAT OCHAHABWBSN?!?@&÷*×&=
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I did my best, but they left me anyway
#i wanna die#i'm so pathetic#bpd thoughts#i'm sad#wish i was dead#i hate my existence#tw selfhate#tw sui vent#i deserve to die#i loved you so much#tw sui implied#depressing shit#sewerslidal#shblr#tw sui ideation#disgusting#depression#im unloveable#self harm#i hate my brain#slowly losing my mind#bpd life#hopelessness#lonelly#bpd vent#bpd#tw self destructive behavior#no one cares#i wish i was dead#body dismorphia
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It’s so strange being at a party, knowing I’m going to end my life afterwards but no one else knows.
Everyone is so clueless and honestly, it’s kind of nice..
#depressing shit#living with bpd#i want to kms#quiet bpd#i can’t do this#depressing post#suicice#i want to disappear#i want to end it all#suicudal#i deserve to die#tw sui attempt#im suicidal#tw sui implied
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Why cant I do litteraly anything fucking usefull
#idk whats wrong with me#Im so stupid#I deserve to die#Vent Ig#I dont know if my friends really love me#what if im annoying them#not feeling silly today
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