#I'm going to try and fix this when I can
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I had a five minute appointment with a specialist who immediately switched my meds when I mentioned that my legs hurt when I walked up stairs, saying that my old meds were probably causing low bone density. she didn't even check my bone density even when I asked her to in order to make sure the change was necessary as my old meds worked really really well for me. these new meds cause me more pain, don't prevent the pain I need them to prevent, raise the chance of blood clots, and I haven't noticed any improvement in my leg pain at all. please make sure you and your doctors have a two-way conversation and make sure they listen to you, too.
Mentalhealthceo on instagram
#I'm going to try and fix this when I can#she said 'give it 6 weeks' and its been 8. no change no improvement in my condition at all.#just. yeah man if they rush you into things without seeming to check thoroughly (this doctor didn't even test my bone density.)#then maybe go for a second opinion if you can#medical#medical ableism
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A werewolf knight promised a bride in return for his unflinching loyalty and unmatched battle prowess.
His Jarl thinks the most beautiful, talented, and wellbred Lady of the island will suit nicely as his gift.
But the wolf has already made his choice -- he'd made it long before he ever went to war. Everything he did, every terrible, horrible, deadly thing, he did it for her.
And since he was promised a bride, well. Who can stop him? It's his due, after all.
#who holds his leash? certainly not the laird and certainly not this wench they're trying to foist upon him#he's GOING to kick up a fuss and start biting people if he doesn't get his way#Viking style etiquette but it takes place in the same universe as Dr. Pragma and Kelsi and Ettienne and Mason#which is gaslamp Victorian and modern cityscape prospectively#anything is possible <3#jk they're all modern but with elements of their respective romance timescapes for spice <3#anyway. this poor little bakers daughter.#she doesn't even know. she's like 'oh I'm so SORRY you have to be married to a peniless nobody like me. i promise I'll fix it and you can#be married to someone you actually like 🥺' and he just lets her keep thinking that because it makes her easier to manipulate and less liable#to flinch when he gets a bit. handsy. with her. becuase obv he wouldn't come on to someone he doesn't even like!#but then she brings up the concept of annulment ('well have to sleep in seperate beds of course. we can't let them get the wrong idea') and#the gig is up. he's like no we WILL be fucking. you're mine.#and then she tries to run (doesn't know about chase-instinct)
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from this thing lolz
ty to @cherry-207 for the idea !! XPP
vargas by zarla-s
#sunny's art#vargas#edgar vargas#vargas zarla#scriabin#zarla s#scriabin vargas#would add shitpost tag too but i made so much effort on these to call it shitpost#this took me like 4 days . it could've taken two but i had to go out most of these days#this is just another “ i forced myself to color this thing just to practice coloring ” piece#went crazy with this one X3#changed pretty much all of my brushes#bye square-shaped brush . i'm gonna miss you#i feel like edgar would actually find this cute tbh#it's perfect for them and they both know it#i know that the actual meme doesn't really look like my artstyle#but this is the first time i draw a face from that angle okay#that's all bye#nevermind i want to rant about something .#okay it's like . everytime i draw edgar i struggle a lot thinking of the clothes i want to draw on him#so i literally took a screenshot of every thing zarla has drawn on him so i can yk . pick something out of there#well on this one drawing she made he had this pretty beige cardigan and i was like okay sure let's get that one#then . was just coloring and when i tried to shade the beige it just looked dirty and ugly#why when other people do it it looks good and when i try to do it it just looks ugly ??!!1!1?!#funny enough this is the third time this happens to me#it also used to happen with gray . i just changed the color of the shading to dark blue and boom fixed#so i had to change it to green . looks better like that anyways#so i'm thinking . does beige look bad on edgar or it's just that i don't know how to shade beige in the first place#( probably second one#i think this is actually all
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Preparing myself to read a Persona 5 fic because it sounds super interesting but Maruki is a tagged character which means there's like a 70% chance that he's being mischaracterized
#if someone can recommend me fics where this Doesn't Happen i would be so glad#i will still read it either way but it's just a pet peeve#why can't y'all comprehend moral greyness#maruki ISN'T AN EVIL SUPERVILLAIN#HE'S NOT EVEN EVIL#i've written fics btw i'm not trying to sound ungrateful or anything. like i said i will read them#but it's not just with fics like he gets mischaracterized So Much from literally everywhere in the fandom#how did you play through the entirety of persona 5 royal and come to teh conclusion that maruki is an evil man#who manipulated teenagers because he is malicious and horrible#when the story quite literally tells you. that he is NOT an evil horrible person#i'm not gonna deny that he manipulated teenagers into playing into his plan but he is most definitely not evil#nor did he do it with malicious intent. nuance DOES MATTER 😃#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5#p5r#takuto maruki#maruki takuto#fuck that teh up there i'm not going back to fix it i'll just sound like a cringe 13 year old on tumblr in 2014#i'm not saying you can't criticize him i'm saying that acting like he's evil on a shido level or even Near that is stupid#because. again. maruki is a morally grey antagonist. he is NOT MALICIOUS.#i notice it's usually akechi fans who do this because of akechi's attitude towards maruki in-game#akechi has been one of my favorite characters ever even since vanilla p5 when the ending to his character arc kinda sucked#but him being one of my favorite characters does not impact my ability to read analyze and comprehend text#i think the persona fandom in general should try it sometime 👍
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Little messy doodle but I was talking to my friend about how my s/i would be using just every petname in the books on Charles but he...struggles a bit to do the same! Even the smallest effort earns him some lovin' tho 🥺💖💖
#artfarts#doodle#self insert#self ship#self shipping community#self insert community#oc x canon#metalocalypse#metalocalypse oc#charles offdensen#🍞 my bread and butter 🍞#I'M FUCKING CRAZY ABOUT HIM UGGGHH#ive been talking about this w some other friends and my partner too but like#he isnt inexperienced or innocent by any means#but hes shown multiple times that though he notices and HAS emotional concerns about the band...#he has a lot of trouble expressing them and often throws his hands up when it doesn't go well#with these two that little habit is probably what caused them to split up in the past 😅😅#but i think he'd still try. i mean he tries for the guys doesnt he??#maybe she can even try to help him#my partner was like 'so u gonna fix him?' and i said idk if he CAN be fixed#but he can be loved 🥺🥺🥺💖💖💖💖💖💖
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chapter four!! birthday cake all round 🎂🍰🍰🍰🥳🎉🎈🎊
#dpxdc#dcxdp#dc x dp crossover#dp x dc#dpxdcbang2024#there has to be a better time to post this than today#ie when tumblr isn't in an all out boop war#and people aren't gallavanting with their halloweens out everywhere#but here we are#i am - and this is no exaggeration - not Feeling It#and i would like some form of validation please#please#pleaasseeee#before i walk out into the sea and let myself dissolve into the waves so i can be breathed in by fishes#<- does that count as suicidal ideation? i'm in that process of trying to get away from that language but my lORD is it difficult#anyway#idk enjoy#this chapter was a bitch#they don't even get any cake#the cake is a lie#and i'm going to bed#good night#(i have to sleep now before my sister tries to rope me into fixing her laptop and i can't do it i can't i have zero patience rn)
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A long list of Clone Wars headcanons just cause
Sometimes Ahsoka will get the zoomies and how she handles that energy is roughhousing with Anakin who's more than willing to participate
It becomes a show for the 501 because seeing the small togruta tackle the lanky ass nightmare that is Anakin Skywalker to the floor is hilarious
They are both guilty of not knowing their strength so some people (cough cough Obi-Wan cough cough) caution them against it they don’t really listen tho which has resulted in some pretty hilarious injuries
One of those injuries happened when they were playing around and Ahsoka shouldered Anakin so abruptly that he fell back on him tailbone and got the wind knocked out of him she sat by his side laughing her ass off
It took her an unreasonable amount of time to realize he was in pain and when she did she started apologizing like crazy she still gets embarrassed when people bring it up and still apologizes years later
There was another time when Ahsoka turned her back to Anakin when they were roughhousing and he pushed her so hard that she almost fell off of the landing platform they were standing on
He snatched her up by the stomach while muttering “I’m so sorry” and then he started frantically checking to make sure he didn’t seriously hurt her while Ahsoka laughed so hard she swears to this day that she pulled something
Unfortunately when the laughter stopped she did realize she managed to sprain her wrist and when Anakin found he helped her wrap it
You’d think that they’d learn from these incidents but nope they still play fight like two big dogs
Even tho Anakin and Ahsoka’s place is pretty clean it’s never really quiet there’s always gotta be some kinda noise
Sometimes it’s Ahsoka’s music playing loudly in her room, sometimes it’s a holomovie in the living room, and sometimes it’s just them bickering in the kitchen
It doesn’t matter what it is it’s never truly quiet even at night there’s a small amount of noise from Anakin’s snoring (which he denies) and Ahsoka’s purring thing (which she also denies)
As crazy as it sounds the people closest to them will admit that their noise is strangely comforting
Anakin and Ahsoka are so freaking similar that it turns heads sometimes they’ll say something the other said but they’ve never heard like “This is where the fun begins”
It’s stopped Obi-Wan in his tracks before it kinda freaks him out and worries him a little bit but it also puts a small smile on his face when the duo says the same thing at the same time
They’re also able to predict how the other will react once Ahsoka was teaching the clones tricks with her saber and they broke it they felt terrible but they were also terrified about Anakin’s reaction
Ahsoka was the only calm one in the room and explained to the group that Anakin would pretend to be pissed for about an hour but then he’d “calm down” and ask for the parted to fix it and by that time rolled around she’d already have his favorite holo prepped and food from Dex’s
They listened to her with a healthy amount of skepticism and were happily surprised to find out the next day that she was right
There was another time when Anakin and Obi-Wan decided to buy Ahsoka her favorite boba to soften the blow that she wasn’t gonna go on a mission Anakin told Obi-Wan that she’d be happy for a minute before asking what happened and he was right
When Ahsoka got closer to Anakin the clones and everyone else she showed her secret passion for acting like she doesn’t know them in public when they piss her off
It worked a couple of times and one of those times Rex almost got arrested because the officer didn’t believe that they were the commander and captain of the 501st Rex didn’t blame the dude because he couldn’t prove it without Ahsoka’s help and she refused to back him up
Ahsoka finally dropped the act when the cuffs came out but she was still kinda reluctant
She did agree to take a break from that prank and she stopped doing it entirely when Obi-Wan had to bail Anakin out of jail (she bought a lot of boba for a very long time to make up for that one)
They will reference the prank occasionally by asking each other at random points in the day “Do I know you?”
Like sometimes they’ll be out and Anakin will ask “Have we met before?” most of the time Ahsoka will answer “No actually we haven’t” (this girl is wearing his cloak he’s wearing one of her headwraps and his arm is resting on her head)
Sometimes Padme will make a big deal of taking Anakin and Ahsoka out to do something just the three of them
Whenever Padme and Anakin show the smallest form of affection towards each other Ahsoka makes a big deal about gagging Anakin makes a bigger deal of “evening it out”
Like if he kisses Padme and Ahsoka gags he’ll grab her and give her a big smooch on the forehead and then like the little shit that he is he’ll whip his lips calling her greasy
She gets him back by whipping the spit off her forehead with his robes (and also backhanding him which Padme kindly ignores)
Padme will sometimes tease her too like if she grabs Anakin’s hand then she’ll link arms with Ahsoka and make a small comment like “There now you’re even”
Sometimes Ahsoka will get them both back in the moments when they check on each other first she’ll make a big deal about saying “Well kriff me I guess” even if she doesn’t have a scratch on her
Both Anakin and Padme will make a big deal about checking her for injuries with a couple of comments like “Oh my poor little padawan you have a scratch from training last night how did you cope”
I said in my first post that Ahsoka and Anakin have a playlist and I love the idea that they have different titles for them like “Obi-Wan’s least favorite playlist” “get ready to kick seppie’s ass” “the council pissed me off again” and stuff like that
It’s all in good fun but they’ll never let anyone else see those titles because they know it’ll get a good scolding from Obi-Wan
The moment Obi-Wan knew Anakin had formed an “unnecessary attachment” wasn’t some big life-or-death moment on the battlefield
In hindsight it was a pretty funny moment that was caused by Anakin’s stupidity cause he had broken a glass earlier that day and he thought he got all the pieces so he didn’t feel it was necessary to tell Ahsoka
Next thing he knows the poor togruta is gasping in pain and when he goes to check on her she’s sitting on the kitchen floor while the mother of all glass shards is sticking out of her foot
Now you might be asking “How did Anakin miss a glass shard the size of his hand?” he honestly couldn’t give you an answer but he could tell you was in that moment he realized that he forgot to restock the med kit even though Ahsoka had reminded him about it earlier that day
All Obi-Wan got to see of this was a blur of Anakin holding his profusely bleeding padawan while yelling at the top of his lungs “Move she’s bleeding out!”
No one can really blame the man for dropping everything he was doing to chase after his former padawan and they also can’t blame him for assuming the worst like her being stabbed or shot
He didn’t know what he was expecting when he walked into the halls of healing but it wasn’t an embarrassed Anakin standing over a cackling Ahsoka as the healers scolded him for causing a scene
He makes a silent note to give Anakin a small lecture about keeping his emotions under control before checking on his giggly grand padawan
#star wars#the clone wars#star wars clone wars#star wars headcanons#anakin skywalker#ahsoka tano#obi wan kenobi#padmé amidala#captain rex#ahsoka and anakin#snips and skyguy#disaster siblings#this duo puts the universe through hell#and it's hilarious#It sucks so bad that while I was writing this I was also coming up with like angsty stuff#like bro im trying to live in denial here#but like can you imagine how hard it would hit Anakin to go back to their quarters and it's quiet for the first time in ever#or like him saying something and he stops because he knows that Ahsoka would say something like that#or when him and Padme go out and he holds her hand he kinda holds his other arm out and waits for Ahsoka to grab it and she never does#or Ahsoka's trying to fix things with Vader before fighting#like trying to use her old methods of making stuff up to Anakin but it obviously doesn't work because she's not talking to Anakin#or Ahsoka looking at the scar on her foot when she was on the run or after order 66#I make myself sad#anyways I'm gonna go cry in a corner now
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6/14 • Day 6 • Meet the Heroes
Princess Training?
Decided to clean up this sketch! I wasn't entirely satisfied w it when I drew it, but eh... it's all I have LMFAOOO 🧍
Some additional sketches! First one I was testing out/playing w casual outfits, second one I just really wanted to draw the active wear so I went w that LMFAO
Also made slight changes to Céline's active wear palette, cause like.... they did her so dirty........
Like even the canonish one doesn't follow canon, they just picked the worst palest yellow for her 😔
@sharenaweek
#sharenaweek2024#i'm p tired still tbh! i think i'm gonna take it easy now#but i love celine w all my heart and i want her to interact w sharena sooooooooo bad.#LIKE. using hortensia's fbs as a blueprint. i think she and sharena would ABSOLUTELY have something there#not to replace hortensia about it i love her too. poor girl would be seething though if she found out 😭#but then you can just keep going. celine loves cute girls. she wants to be a 'big sister' so bad#sharena famously loves collecting cute girls. when hortensia sees shari as a threat it's too late#sharena became her friend like yesterday. record time. she can't keep getting away w this.#but most of all i desperately want to see celine be an autistic little weirdo about sharena LMFAOO#LIKE.... CELINE IS SO AUTISTIC TO ME ....... she's SO silly about it. in such a serious 'mature for her age' way#i want to see them both fumble through a friendship soooo bad. both of them trying to find the correct Script/Act#to successfully Befriend the other.#i think they would be sooooo fun. alfred. please. i'm begging you to introduce them.#sharena#fe celine#my art#'hortensia's fbs' i meant to say supports. her supports w celine LMFAOOO#well. i'm not going back to fix that LMFAOOO
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damn I yap a lot
tldr; im alive, sadly im still on hiatus, other stuff is fine now I just have new [physical] problems, you'll know when I'm fully back (give it another couple months) and comfortable, I'm in a [technically well-over] 3-month long ongoing depressive episode [not tryna do trauma olympics or make anyone feel bad btw it's all chill]
so sorry if I've left you hanging [with art or smth], I'll get to it in time, I promise [I may have unwillingly forgotten, likely not but there's a chance]
Hey, I'm alive, I have been for the.. almost 6 months I've been gone. Holy shit, I didn't even realise that it's been that long. I figured I should at least say something in case anyone is worried or wondering even though everything isn't solved yet, so, here. [under the read more so it's not flooding or anything]
Also, I figure I should apologise for venting on main and just leaving it up - this is all going to stay up because I need to keep it somewhere to aid with my memory issues - but, still, must've been a little weird
Absolutely not a good time to say all this [for me bc I haven't thought this message through] but I'm kinda half-back, just on hiatus from socials due to declining physical health. Really badly declining, I need help honestly
Originally, as you know, I was gone because I had a really bad fall out with my mother, but things pertaining to that have been solved now [except me not feeling 100% safe and trusting to my mother, that will never change. She's tried hard, I just wish I could find her reliable emotionally as well]. It's just that, since then, basically, all these physical problems that I don't understand have been royally fucking me up and messing with my mental too. It's messed with everything I love. I don't know what to do anymore.
Oh wait, where I was actually going with this, so
OK nvm I forgot but you'll see me around bc I've been talking to certain people trying to pretend like nothing's happened and I've made the kinda-silly decision to not fully come off hiatus or talk to other certain people before I'm okay again.
#so the post is for the practical stuff n the tags r for emotional btw [or at least I tried to do that]#[yeah just except the para starting with “originally” I'll keep that there despite being unnecessary]#-#genuinely. im so scared. im so scared all the time [most of the time not scared of anything in particular - I mean the physical problems#fuck me up by making me scared and sad and tired most of the time for no reason]#I have no energy and it's all up and down and even though I actually feel okay rn [not good but okay] after literally breaking down an hour#ago I still know this shouldn't be happening#nobody is going to believe me if I say I have high-functioning depression. who do I tell. well they will believe me but how would it help#and I'm so scared to tell anyone for no reason. I'm not scared mentally rn but no matter whether or not Im ok the emotion stops me from#taking action if that makes sense.#--#I don't understand what I did to deserve this why is this happening to me#why are these internal problems out of my control happening to me#I don't understand and it truly deeply scares me#---#I meant to out this at the start of the tags but fuck it I'm too far in and on mobile to go all the way back now#thank you if you read this far. truly thank you because I need someone to talk to and my irl's are not an option for all different reasons#if I reach out to you about smth random please talk to me as if I'm still not half-gone.#feel free to message me whenever about wtv despite the “hiatus” I need it#... if you have read this far for whatever reason please text me that my Rui loves me my brain is trying to guilt me and say he doesn't#[that just happens when I'm in a certain state even tho that's when I need Rui the most selfship mutuals u get it pls help me out]#he. he does love me right? I swear he does I just. can't seem to believe it right now#I shouldn't have pushed all that to the bottom when it was directly telling my mutuals what I need lol#I feel a little hopeless sometimes. that's not like me I'll be alright in the end. no not that. I'll be better than alright I can fix this#I can fix this. I just need help. god I need help.#at the very least I'll be alright
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sometimes self compassion is the opposite of letting yourself off easy. sometimes self compassion means holding yourself to account and demanding you do better which is so much more work than just punishing yourself. making yourself feel bad so that you feel better is a lot easier than putting the work in to actually repair harm and be less shit. it doesn't feel like that when you're down in the self punishment instinct hole and your brain is telling you that you don't deserve not to be hurt but. it's true.
#i think i got a good grade in therapy this week but boy it fucking sucked#and will probably continue to be really hard for a long time#sure is a bitch when you accept that just suffering for a while won't let you off the hook or fix anything#who does self-punishment help? fucking nobody#doesn't help the person you let down in the first place AND doesn't help you#like good now you've just hurt two people! congrats! what did that solve? fuck all!#nope sometimes compassion is going hey. you can do better and i'm gonna hold you to that. now get up.#sigh. therapy mouse working overtime again#it was kinda meaningful to talk through some things (esp the punishment thing) with my therapist#and be like. look. being compassionate towards myself doesn't mean pretending i'm not at fault#i can be compassionate and accept responsibility for my actions#sometimes i think therapists are afraid of letting us hold ourselves to account esp if you have a history of guilt complexes#so they keep telling you it's not your fault even when it is#had a useful chat with my mentor about reparative justice frameworks too#i think maybe killing the youth leader in my brain is not about letting myself off the hook for 'sins'#it's about recognising that punishment is a shitty way to respond to harm#and trying to build a more productive way forward on all sides#it's not about not being held to account. it's not about everything being allowed#it's about not compounding harm with more harm#weasel management
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7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos
#normal Saturday morning behavior#redacted spoilers#redacted audio#redacted sam#Seven.txt#rp audio stuff#well. crying over one singular blorbo in particular. Sam's still got me in an emotional chokehold#and i'm too sad to even make a stupid little joke abt how i wouldn't mind if it was a physical one too. ayeee *insert sad eyebrow wiggle*#no but seriously. i have so many feelings abt him and i can't even say it all bc some of it isn't public info yet#eh fuck it i'll just draft this until the audio goes public and then i'll post it once it's no longer Exclusive Info#bc i dont wanna leak Early Access stuff but i have to get this out of my system rn and the new audio is part of what sparked these thoughts#which is funny bc i. literally haven't even listened to it yet. i'm not Ready 😭#where's that tiktok screenshot that's like. 'hyperfixation so bad that i can't even engage with the source material' bc that's me rn#like bro Sam only won the poll like. 2 or 3 days ago and Eric is Already dropping a new Sam audio?? hello? Mr. Redacted i wasn't prepared#anyways i was spoiling myself by perusing the comments last night trying to get a feel for if it's gonna be more angst or comfort#and i saw a comment that absolutely shattered me. and it reignited all my sad thoughts about Sam's eventual. uh. y'know. death.#apparently they plant a tree together or smthn in the new audio (which already has me & my beloved 10y/o orange tree feeling some kinda way#but to the individual in the comments who brought to all our minds the image of Sam sitting beneath that tree in 30 or so years time#when he's decided that he's ready to die and sits out there waiting for the sun to rise..................... 🥲#i'm gonna need u to compensate me for all of that unexpected emotional damage /j /nm#i'm Still not over what he told Darlin' while they had their talk about the future up on his roof together. that audio killed me#then yesterday i was listening to my Sam & Darlin' playlist while cleaning. and Malibu Nights by LANY came on. which i always skip bc Sad#but i let it play and just started crying. standing in the middle of the room all disheveled and holding a broom. as one does.#iirc that song is one that Eric himself said is applicable to Sam which is why/how i found it and put it on the playlist. and god. g o d#hm. i hope that wasn't Patreon exclusive info. i can't remember if it was a public post where he said that or not. hope it's okay to share#but if we can take that song as like. unofficial canon for Sam then that also confirms my idea that he used to drink to cope#which makes the opening lines of Fix What You Didn't Break by Nate Smith even more applicable. i should go edit that post actually#anyways i'm just. feeling a lot. and i love Sam very much and i don't want him to die. but i want him to do what he wants at the same time#Alexis took so fucking much from him. he deserves to live - and end - his life on his own terms. ... i think i need to go write something#*casually fishes this post out of the drafts 3 and a half days later* hi so uh. i wrote a 4k oneshot :) and will hopefully post it tomorrow
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ich lenke mich gerade von der Hölle der Arbeitsagentur-Webseite mit tröstlichen Gedanken von Adam & Leo ab :')
#wie lautet eigentlich der Shipname für die zwei?#gibt es sonst was als#spatort#?#tatort saarbrücken#tatort#i'm currently throwing such a tantrum over such a small thing#pls don't make fun of me :(#i entered all my info to melden mich als arbeitssuchend#but i made an error while entering my phone info#and didn't notice until after i'd submitted it#and then when i went to correct my submitted info on the website#it said some shit like 'Sie haben keinen Zugang zu dieser Leistung'#(i don't remember the exact words but it was sth like that)#even spent ages on hold with the technical support phone line#but couldn't get through to anyone#but you can get your unemployment benefits reduced if they can't contact you by phone#SO THAT'S FUCKING GREAT#i really hope they don't try to call me until i've been able to fix this#i am broke already and my alg1 is not going to be much#cosmo gyres#personal#text#o hear my sad complaint
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Consider, if you will, AU (either with canon post-s1 pre-s2 events but D.A.D.D.I.E.S. solves things before season 2 would start, or no Doodler/betrayal but Nicky still has to leave because FBI or other reasons) in which Terry Jr is the full time drama teacher for Teen High. Nicky returns from wherever he's been and is like "Well I want to be an active part of my kid's life and try and make up for lost time. I should go to his parents' evening, find out how he's doing in school, and meet his teachers. Especially this Mr Marlowe guy, Taylor seems to think he's awesome." And walking right into that classroom/hall to find his ex-boyfriend best friend sitting there in a dorky sweater and tie combo
Cue Terry, without missing a beat, greeting them as if nothing is wrong
Internal: when the FUCK did he come back and oh my god this is so awkward fuck I have to be professional how do I tell this guy that his kid is a loveable little shit after everything that's happened oh god oh fuck
Externally: "Hello Taylor and Mr Close-Foster-Freeman. I'm Taylor's drama teacher" *shakes hand* "Would you like to take a seat?"
#Nicky: I should go to Taylor's parents evening#Cassandra knowing full well that Terry is the drama teacher: you know what that sounds like a great idea#Both Terry Jr and Nicky afterwards sent her the So was anyone going to tell me blank meme#Nicky spending that night freaking out to Cass like#Did he get hotter??? I swear he got hotter in the 13 years I've been away#It's not fair Cass his eyes are even pretty in the school's shitty lights that they don't have the budget to fix#He looks so good in a tie Cassie. WHY DOES HE LOOK SO GOOD IN A TIE#Also when the fuck did he get married#WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE HAS A DAUGHTER#....Cass he would be so good with kids I think I'm going to die#(Nicky was wrong as Terry is so bad with teenagers)#Cassandra completely unimpressed just trying to do her woodwork#But also very indulgent towards her ex-husband's tomfoolery#Nicky: do you think his wife is okay with poly relationships#Cassandra: a) I'm pretty sure Terry would require a minimum of 6 months joint and individual therapy for both of you#Before you can start dating again#And b) if she is let me know because Veronica is a Snacc#I have many thoughts about this if you can't tell#Which I may expand on it requested#terry jr#dungeons and daddies#terry stampler#dndads#terry jr stampler#dndads s2#dndads terry jr#nicholas foster#nick close#nicky freeman#nicky close foster
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jjk is about a lot of things but most of all with regard to Shoko Satoru and Suguru it's about how if you don't interact with people who aren't in your weird fucked up school with like 10 ppl total on a regular basis you WILL become an incredibly interesting adult in a way that makes people pity you
#JJK#Jujutsu Kaisen#Like obv the post is jokey but genuinely I feel like ppl don't talk about the intense isolation that goes on#Shoko Nanami Suguru and Satoru like regularly interact w 4 ppl (the others + Haibara) and like... Man. When you lose 25% of your social lif#And you can barely. Talk to the other 75% because they're equally but differently affected. Shits going to do some Interesting Things to u#Also it might be part of ''op grew up with very little social interaction not for any one specific reason but in general#Doesn't naturally form friendships/bonds even when surrounded by ppl'' but only having like 1 or two close friends#(and like. Satoru calls Suguru his only friend. He definitely likes Shoko and Nanami but obviously there's a distance there)#Will do some Very Interesting Things To You. Anyway Satoru and Suguru were both pretty heavily implied to be very socially isolated#As children (bc of being ''the strongest''/able to see curses but also autism. They're autistic) and then ended up having a wildly#Codependent relationship that ended up ruining them both bc they didn't know how to start fixing things#Because they were the only ppl they really knew so. I'm going to be honest I think at some points they straight up loathed each other#Suguru bc Satoru ''left him behind'' Satoru bc Suguru ''didnt catch up'' and like. They had fucking no one to talk to#like 1. Shoko and Nanami are Also Kids and Know Both Of Them Well so trying to go to them would be. Wild#2. The adults in their life... There's only so much Yaga can do as one man. And I also think he's Struggling#3. They straight up don't know how to talk to people. They just don't.#Anyways they hated each other because they loved each other and I'm not saying talking to other ppl would've fixed this but#I think it could've changed A Lot y'know. Eh maybe my point would be stronger if Yuuji Megumi n Nobara#Like. Had better fleshed out social lives (showing why they're less fucking. Deranged) bc there's clearly Elements but not really much#Concrete stuff to point to. Yuuji kinda just forgets his old classmates. Sad! Megumi had His Sister and that was........ And Nobara didn't#Get her shit resolved. So. Yaaaay
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I literally feel like I'm dying and I need to see a doctor, but I can't worry about that right now because
My bank account is literally in the negatives because I'm too disabled to work and can't make money but I can't worry about that right now because
I'm months overdue on getting my car new tags, but it won't even start if I could drive it so I need to jump the battery and get gas which I don't have money for, but I can't worry about that right now because
People are still expecting me to be social across numerous friend groups and it's pulling me in so many directions that I'm stretched so thin I'm running on no social battery for the last month, but I can't worry about that right now because
I still need to actually clean the house, do the dishes, clean the cat litter boxes, vacuum, and do my laundry... but I can't worry about that right now because
I still need to actually set up my new desk so I can stream since I haven't been able to do that for weeks and streaming is unfortunately my only source of income for how little I make every month, but I can't worry about that right now because
My partner is going through a really hard time right now and I need to be there for her and do what I can to make sure she's okay.
#People like me don't make it man. We just don't.#I'm hyper dependent on others to the point where I'd be homeless without my partner#I'm stressed day in and day out I get messages from people who want me to play games or hang out or just chat and I can't even#find the time to respond because I have 12 other things I need to be doing and those 12 other things aren't getting done because#every single thing I need to do is preventing me from doing something else and at the end of it all my health is getting worse and worse#and as it gets worse it costs more to fix and I can't get on disability without paying for a lawyer with money I literally do not have#and I'm losing it I'm literally going insane I'm pissed off because I see people blame the country I live in or the circumstances I'm in#and they act like they can't do anything and it'd be wrong of me to ask them for help#and I know when I die (and at this point it won't be long) they're going to act like this is the fault of america or some shit#they're not going to think about how they could have helped#and it sucks because some of my friends DO try to help they really do and I love them for it but it's so hard for me to see people#who don't make much money and who are also in tough situations throwing what they can at me to help me when I know people who have so much#they spend it frivolously on luxuries and I want to strangle them but then I'm not owed anything so it's not my place to tell them how#to spend their money or live their life.#and I'm tired man I'm so fucking tired I can't even stay awake for a few hours before I am too exhausted to sit upright anymore#I pass out and find myself without energy before I've even done anything and I'm only 29.
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yes it's just me whining about the same thing for the billionth time, pls just scroll past nothing new to see here 👋
#i just want to enjoy the summer but i feel like i don't deserve to if i'm not constantly trying to become employed again 😭#''apply for jobs then? problem solved'' uh-huh yes but!! i also hate applying for jobs#job seeking can be so incredibly humiliating#first i have to send them a letter BEGGING to be invited to an interview#and then i have to try and convince them that i am actually competent and good at my job even though you have my cv right there#and then afterwards they call me to tell me they found someone who they liked better than me#(or rather someone who was more competent than me judging by their work history etc.)#it's like ''yes we are hiring but not YOU specifically lol''#like. at school if you take a test you get the grade you deserve based on how you did in the exam.#it's something you can actually directly affect yourself#but if someone who's applying for the same job with me has more work experience or whatever they will get hired over me no matter what i do#(at least that's how it usually works on my field)#in which case it doesn't matter if i do well in the interview or nah. bc the other person was always going to be picked for the job anyway#and yes one could say i can then be satisfied if i did my best but it's little consolation when i'm still unemployed!!#and so every time i apply for a job and get rejected it feels like a personal failure#and to avoid that feeling of failure i want to avoid applying for jobs altogether#so yeah. being active in job seeking is more likely to relieve me from this misery but job seeking is ALSO misery. so 🤷♀️#that on top of the fact i don't even _want_ to apply for all the open positions on my field#but i feel obliged to because it's what i have a degree on. and when i'm unemployed i don't have the luxury to choose which ones i apply fo#i can't afford to be picky#I DON'T DREAM OF LABOUR I JUST NEED MONEY TO LIVE BUT I ALSO DON'T WANT TO DO JUST ANY JOB! I AM NOT STRONG ENOUGH FOR THAT!#i don't want to come home crying from work every day because i hate every single aspect of my life INCLUDING my job 😭#when this semester i actually HAD a job i didn't mind waking up to every morning 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#it's not fair it's not fair it's not fair#to conclude i don't deserve to enjoy myself in the summer because i'm not doing enough to fix my unemployement situation#(just like i don't deserve to feel sad about being lonely because i don't work hard enough to maintain deep friendships#but that's a crisis for another day! stay tuned ✌️)
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