#I'm going to keep getting better
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Okay okay
#I'm okay#definitely not great#but I'm one hell of a lot better than early#the desire to start cutting myself is gone now#kinda ironic it came back on the day of four months#i just#i can't i /can't/ isolate myself when I'm like this#and i was doing that and spiralling downward#i ended up talking w my coworkers that I'm friendly with a lot the last couple hours#and I'm okay again#at least for now#plus i have my date w my friend tmw#we're gna watch nightmare before Christmas which i haven't seen before#honestly i couldn't rly care less about the movie itself i just appreciate their company a lot#I'm going to keep getting better#ya know something that's crazy to me is that people just like me as i am now#every relationship (friends family past lovers) had been people that only really liked me for what i could Do for them#it's such a nice change of pace#so thank you to those who showed me that that's a possibility for me#especially Raine and Gabi as y'all were the Very First people to show me that#i love y'all#i love All my friends so much
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Time and Time Again comes back tonight!
Thank you all for being so patient with me, I know it was a long hiatus.
My health was struggling, my arm was (is) hurting, and I decided it wasn't worth it. I'd rather be slow!
So thank you for giving me that grace, and I hope you'll be there with me for the rest of the series.
#like straight up. it's not worth it. idc how many people get mad at me#i would rather work fuckin. anything else than maintain this impossible schedule and keep hurting myself#if thats what it takes to do comics full time. then i can't do comics full time. simple as that!#i hope that for my next work i can have a healthier schedule and still make this work as my job#but if not. I'm never going back#i can't do it. 3 more years at this pace will take my ability to draw#anyways. its really good!!!#like genuinely i can feel a marked improvement in my skills#which is WILD!!! And I'm extremely happy about that!!!#just one more step into being better built to give people the quality stories they deserve.#ive not properly had the fire under my ass to finish stuff up but. its fine.#like i said? not worth it.#if i have to pause again then ill pause again. like i literally simply can not my body can't handle it#so. hopefully stuff goes smoothly but whatever happens will happen#whatever will be will be#i keep getting distracted lmfao#im excited about it coming back#and also. will. probably be distracting myself...#other creators dont read their comments. I'm like straight up not capable of that LMAOOO#i check for comments like all the time#love seeing em. love reading people's thoughts about my work#it makes me a better writer and keeps me connected to what matters most. which is my audience!#so i dont regret doing that but also. jts extremely distracting#i get straight up nothing done on big update days#cause im in the comments absolutely massive eyed refreshing.#this sounds obsessive. and it is. no jk#its just fun and keeps me in touch w peoples perception which helps me learn to write better#plus people are nice and ask me questions that i wanna answer#or if someone is being an ass. then i wanna tell them to leave (cause i cant block people) cause i consider it my responsibility#time and time again
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gnawing on my arm because i think there's something to be said about how stede not only dreams about himself with a beard, but ed with his full beard back too. like, the dream seems to be riddled with imagery that he thinks ed would want.
and i say this especially because of how stede reacted when ed had to shave his beard. he freaked out on his behalf. he shrieked in horror whereas ed was entirely unbothered. he feared he had ruined him, had dragged him down to some despicable level, when in actuality, ed was completely content to shed that part of his persona.
and then there he is dreaming about ed with that part right on back.
so there's very clearly still a part of his mind that's convinced that's what ed wants. because why wouldn't he? everyone else seems to. and why would he want the softness and femininity stede had been bullied for his entire life?
which in turn plays into his own imagery too. bearded, masculine, fiercesome, rugged...
because how could someone love what everyone has hated him for? how could someone want what everyone has tried to quite literally beat out of him?
#OFMD#OFMD Season 2#OFMD S2 Spoilers#Gentlebeard#Blackbonnet#Edward Teach#Stede Bonnet#Revenge Rambles#ALSO#I SAY ALL OF THIS TO SAY#I really REALLY hope they have a conversation about it#Because Stede clearly has some issues going on with his self-worth still#He's getting BETTER#But he's definitely still having issues#And I really hope I'm on the money when it comes to that one shot where Ed seems to be looking at him drinking/partying in Spanish Jackie'z#And is looking TROUBLED#I keep envisioning an exchange where Ed is like 'Well this is...different'#And Stede cheerily goes 'Ah yes. Trying something new! Do you like it?'#And Ed looks him dead in the eye and goes 'Do YOU?'#Also it kills me how they're both sort of having the same issues just in different fonts#Ie Ed worrying that he's unlovable how he is#And Stede ALSO worrying that he's unlovable how he is#They both want to change parts of themselves/shy away from parts of themselves#When in reality both of them love each other for who they really are#AND I HOPE THEY HAVE A CONVERSATION CENTERED AROUND JUST THAT#I HOPE THAT'S WHAT AAAALLL OF THIS IS BUILDING TO
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this drawing is from a couple mouths back now; ......but i still like it 😝 forbidden love as witnessed by ms. Varona. it killed off my traditional art kick when i was done with it, but i had fun. i used very faint watercolors for this one just to see how well i'd do with them and pencils together. my favorite part of it is this tree, love how it looked in this WIP pic i took:
and some random bits of the drawing but closer because i do love pencils as yk✍
had to compress the whole pic a bit cus it was huge, but a version that's a bit better can be seen heare, still not the best it could be, still crunchy, but better nonetheless
#tes#skyrim#talvas fathryon#neloth#varona nelas#my art#second nelvas drawing on a full A4 format....... i should make another and have it be an incoherent trilogy#filling out big areas with black is literally no joke LMFAOO i wanted it to keep the texture so didn't really give it a much darker -#- watercolor backdrop#it's kinda Cute how u can see me go out of bounds with the watercolors in places Ok WERK#dramatized drawing for dramatization purposes bcos neloth isn't taller than talvas but i needed it for the power imbalance to happen Bye#nelvas been so good to me art wise this year i like to see it as me already perfecting my Thinking skill and devoting more time to -#- 'art' instead; while last yr i was just trying to mold my thought pattern on skyrim characters to perfection instead#instead of focusing it on 'art'.#not related to the whole shtick of 'drawing the same characters over and over and getting better' cause i don't like that viewpoint people#- have on their drawings; i'm getting better because i want to ..... and i have something special going on with talvas fathryon...exactly#i'm very......in touch....with my.......nelothian side!#(diagnosis sheet)#i'm sorry for being a reincarnation of him in this timeline it really is a tragedy
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12May24
A Tomlinson hug can’t cure blindness But a barricade moment reminds us: Our hearts can perceive Things our eyes cannot see, Like love and compassion and kindness.
#larry#louis#louis tomlinson#fitf#curitiba#fitf curitiba#brazil#fitfwt#barricade louis#louis created a beautiful barricade moment at his may 12 curitiba show#a blind fan was on front rail with a sign:#'i'm blind but your voice changed my life'#louis made a point to go up on barricade right where they were#and hugged them and sang part of silver tongues during their embrace#they just don't come better than him#fan encounter#limerick-lt#may 12#2024#i keep trying to limerick the footy photos but then i get distracted by the footy photos
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full sfw
#i'm getting so much done lately it's incredible#and it's somehow still not enough#difficult to do things just for fun#just keep going zimt#done is better than perfect#death note#fanart#m2#mellodramattic#mello x matt#miles jeevas#matt x mello#kiss#gay#lgbtq#boyfriends#couple#dn au 2.1#mihael keehl#mail jeevas#my art
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Daniel Ricciardo and Max Verstappen in Tokyo ahead of the 2016 Japanese GP | x
#max verstappen#daniel ricciardo#autumn posts#filing under things that are just new to me#escaping the dread for a moment with making some little gifs#thinking of everyone today#I've been numb with dread but I've been thinking of that Justin Mc Elroy quote like I'll keep doing good and no one can vote on that#I'll keep helping and supporting my friends and community and taking care of myself too#and one of those ways will be momentary escapes here in F1blr#I won't ramble too much but I'm just so heartbroken and dissapointed ... I had such hope#but we'll keep going and keep being strong ❤️ or I keep telling myself that!!#I gotta get back to the office#but sending everyone lots of energy and good thoughts and thank you for this space to get away and feel better for a little moment#have a restful day night and morning ahead 🏙️🌃🌆#be back soon!!#mentally will be at Daniel singing in the car and Max vibing along with him#maxiel hours in my heart only always
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running in Berlin, 08/09/2024
#tit spoilers#titspoilers#i keep posting old stuff because i just can't do it in one go#i'm so tired. like i've died a few times already#and i have a plane in the morning so i won't get better#ti.berlin#ti.europe#mine
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It's like 'You either die a hero or live long enough to become a villain' except,
Rough times for angels. You either say 'I love you' and go to turbo Hell, or don't and go to an arguably worse Heaven.
#good omens#supernatural#supernatural omens#you could say that 'turbo hell' is actually better bc you just get to go to sleep#that's the depression talking though shhhh gotta keep fighting I'm so sorry how exhausting it is#good omens spoilers
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She can't keep getting away with this!
[First] Prev <--> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#MDZS#season 1#wei wuxian#lan jingyi#lan sizhui#little apple#I think little apple deserves to cause more mayhem. As a treat#I love how despite her hating wwx they both have the same 'burn all bridges' mentality in gusu lan#little apple would have been able to escape gusu lan if she had thumbs. What the hell is *your* excuse wwx? Huh?#MXY's asscheeks too dummy thick and it keeps alerting hanguan-jun? Sounds like a skill issue#I was too ambitious with wanting to have this scene be on fire. Its a better version of#the fourth comic but still...i have much to learn about the ways of drawing fire#much to learn about drawing in general actually B*( but I'm getting there!#i hope you guys enjoy the preview of wwx showing a little more skin. We still have eons to go until we’re at the dilf era outfit#but its on the roadmap#EDIT: HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMENS DAY!!!
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"Suddenly the world was gray and dull and my heart was so heavy I felt like I couldn’t move, let alone make it back to Treasure Town. But because of Echo’s last wish… I was able to keep living.”
--- --- --- --- ---
SORA : (Partner)
Abilities: Justified / Inner Focus
Nature: Gentle / Hardy
Moveset: Aura Sphere / Metal Claw / Poison Jab / Dragon Pulse
#It's my baby girl!! My sweetiepie!! Sora the light of my life my bestest girlie#Her own character sheet to go along with Echo's since I had so much fun making that one and obvs Sora needed to be given as much love too#Sora learned Poison Jab as a riolu back when she was mistrustful towards Grovyle and wanted to thrash him around#nowadays she feels bad about knowing the move when her intentions for learning it were to get an upper hand against him in battle#but she also refuses to unlearn it and keeps it as a reminder that sometimes your own expectations about others are wrong in the end#plus the idea of someone as sweet as Sora knowing a poison-type move just makes me go crazy. did you expect a fairy type move or something?#Cause no. She'll literally stab you to death with literal poison because she can if you upset her or Echo.#And to anyone wondering about the large scar on her tail... yes it is literally a hand-print courtesy of Dusknoir#insert the universally traumatic “YOU TWO ARE COMING WITH ME” classic Dusknoir villain-arc moment#(he then proceeds to grab Sora by the tail and drag her into the dimensional portal but she struggles and he loses patience)#(so he unleashes a point blank will-o-wisp that causes so much pain she is too busy recoiling and screaming to make an escape)#Hey Dusknoir it was kinda f'ed up to permanently scar a kid like that ngl not your best decision I hope it doesn't haunt you forever#Echo still hates him for it and I'm not sure she'll ever let that particular event go even after they reconcile#also I gave Sora the ability Justified because of the implications that her partner is a dark-type and she also has darkrai-related trauma#the idea of her attack stat raising if Echo accidentally hits her with a move??? like Sora is so scared her stats literally go haywire#that's my idea of angst and it keeps me awake at night#sora/lucario#Team Wish my beloved...#pmd ocs#pmd eos#pmd2#explorers of sky#my art#click for better quality tumblr compressed it like garbage D:
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How are we feeling about ensekai’s emu3 translation!!! (I’m mad)
(if you remember the 3 whole posts i made when asahi got de-gayed on EN you'll know i am mad too and that this is probably going to get long)
i don't like to be too cynical but it was so obvious that they were going to change that line, i had a feeling since the event first released on JP and after the incident with Asahi where I went through and tracked down multiple other examples of EN removing queer subtext it became clear to me that in no way shape or form was "emu-chan really loves nene-chan" making it to EN without getting changed. what i didn't expect was them changing Nene's line after Luka's comment, which actually makes this whole situation far worse than many of their other instances of toning down queer subtext.
for anyone who isn't aware of what happened, in chapter 5 of the current Emu event, there's a scene where Nene, Rui and the Virtual Singers are talking about what would cheer Emu up. The vsingers all talk about how much Emu loves spending time with Nene, leading to the following exchange
If you look for them, any fan TL of this scene will be something similar to this:
Luka: ...Fufu. Emu-chan really loves Nene-chan, doesn't she? Nene: Th-that's nothing special...
EN's official translation is this:
So what's the issue? I'll start with Luka's part. In the original text, she uses the word daisuki, which can mean to "like a lot" or "love". It's a word you will see frequently in the idol/idol-adjacent genre of games, due to its ambiguity in that it can be read as either platonic or romantic when used towards a person, and often will be used in ambiguous situations so that it's harder to confirm the writers' intentions either way. so here, fans of the emu/nene ship could view the fact that emu loves spending her time with nene as more on the romantic side, but people who don't like the ship could view it as platonic and move on.
while they didn't translate daisuki directly, Luka's line still works, and still contains the ambiguity that works as ship tease in the original text. it's a perfectly fine localisation that still conveys the original intent. despite that, there is something to be said about EN's consistent refusal to translate daisuki as love in most instances when it's not used on An/Kohane (but then again, EN has literally teased An/Kohane on their twitter account so is it all that surprising?).
Here's some examples:
Aibou no koto ga daisuki de / he loves his partner -> he cares about his partner very much (The Power of Unity chapter 7 when Kaito is comparing Arata to Akito and Toya)
HARUKA-CHAN, DAISUKI DAYOOOO!!! / HARUKA-CHAN, I LOOOOOVEEE YOU!!! -> You're the best!!! (Dear Me, As I Was Back Then chapter 4 when minori is at an ASRUN concert. this one isn't actually that great of a localisation)
Honachan no koto daisuki dakara. Kore de iinda yo. / I love Honachan, so this is fine. -> I want what's best for her. And this is it. (Leo/need main story chapter 14 after Saki tells Honami she won't bother her anymore)
Minna daisuki de - taisetsuna tomodachi na no / I love them all - they're my dearest friends -> They're all amazing, and very dear to me. (Leo/need main story chapter 17. this isn't good either)
What's particularly amusing about that last one is that there's a second official translation for it that I assume was done by JP staff (since EN never promoted doing the Journey to Bloom subs like they did back when they provided subs for Petit SEKAI) that actually keeps the word daisuki as love.
Yeah. I love all my friends - and they mean the world to me.
It's a better localisation than the official EN team one.
Questionable localisation choices aside, Luka's line is fine and is actually in line with the original. The issue with this localisation very much lies with Nene's part, because that is an entirely new line.
In the original text, Nene's "that's just normal" or "that's nothing special" or however you choose to TL it, is meant to be her questioning Luka's statement, since all the things that the other vsingers said that Emu liked were pretty normal things like going shopping and playing video games with nene. To Nene, these things are normal activities for them to do together, so she gets embarrassed by the fact that Luka concludes from that information that Emu loves Nene. When I dissect it like that I think you can really tell what the writers were going for here lol.
"That's just us being friends" does still convey the idea that Nene thinks these activities aren't anything out of the ordinary and she isn't sure why the vsingers are picking these out as some of Emu's favorite things to do, but it's very different from the original line. "But those are just normal things we do together" is something I just came up with on the spot, but it's a lot closer to the original text and still conveys the same meaning. The fact they changed the line to "that's just us being friends" is, honestly, not even subtle that they're covering up queer subtext. The original scene was very clearly written in as ship tease, and EN mentioning "friends" for no reason, especially since the word nor anything close to it was not used in the original, is instantly a red flag because it's like the go-to for queerbaiting and censorship. This was intentional. There was no need for them to specify that the relationship is platonic, Luka's part is ambiguous for a reason so that fans can view it how they like.
Just to top all this off, here's Rin's original line just before that Luka+Nene interaction:
Oh, and! And! She said that playing games with Nene-chan is also super fun!
And here's Rin's line from the official EN translation:
That's not the same thing, but even more weirdly, the incorrect part (super fun->really loves) is a correct translation for the part changed in Luka's line. So, they can do it, they are willing to say "really loves", just not in the right places. Maybe because Rin's part is less personal than Luka's part? It's strange actually, this isn't the first time they've done this either. Off the top of my head I can think of an example from Shiho's Varied Kindness 2* story where they translated the word "suki" as really loves, despite that being much stronger than the original word used (and the fact that daisuki is used a lot in the Leo/need stories and it's incredibly rare if not entirely unknown for them to translate it correctly).
It's not subtle that they're trying to remove implications of the characters possibly being queer, they did it in curtain call and they did it in walk on and on, and multiple times before then too. And considering some of the content in this year's events and the amount of times they say daisuki alone, it's gonna keep happening. honestly i hate the fact that i keep trying to justify the translations in these posts. these translations are intentional. what happened in the curtain call translation back in october says enough. when a character who uses explicitly romantic language towards another guy passes as a straight character in the translation you know they're doing it on purpose.
oh and once again, it's only the EN server that has this issue. The scene in question was translated almost word-for-word on the TW and KR servers.
read fan translations. they're better than what EN gives us and people put a lot of effort into them.
#since the EN translation qualifies as a leak i am scheduling this to post when the event drops#asks#mod talks#i'm going to leave this in the tags because i don't want to make the post any longer#but something that's been really annoying to see recently on twt has been the gradual uptick of players saying that there's no queer#characters/subtext/etc in the game outside mizuki being trans. and i do wonder if EN's consistent habit of toning down#or outright removing moments of heavy subtext and other more ambiguous shiptease moments has anything to do with it.#that or people live under a rock because even EN keeps most of An and Kohane's relationship intact and there's still plenty of#moments that were impossible to edit or tone down due to being plot relevant or being part of longer interactions that wouldn't make sense#if part of it was changed. like the An wedding event.#eh maybe people are just ignorant.#but anyway it does bug me immensely that EN-only players are getting a censored version of the game. it's 2024. staff can do better.#also like i mentioned in the part about rin. they /add in/ things occasionally. so why the hell are they removing so much?
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Raised my friendship with Baizhu high enough to hear the story about how everybody expected him to wait for the most auspicious and lucky day for the pharmacy's grand opening so that he would have good fortune and business (and Baizhu planned this himself), but then a mom came in the middle of the fucking night with her horribly (deathly) sick child and Baizhu opened the pharmacy then and there and saved the kid no questions asked.
And everybody (INCLUDING CHANGSHENG) was like "aren't you worried that you're going to have bad business from here on out?" and his only response was "We're a pharmacy. Why would we want good business? That would mean a bunch of people are ill!"
This man. I swear to god.
The way he made sure to name the pharmacy "no divination" because he wanted to be clear that he wasn't going to wait around for 'lucky' or 'auspicious' times to do business and he wasn't going to base his treatments on snake oil/false practices. It's based in science and when people are ill, they're ill, and he is going to save them. Even if it means getting out of bed in the middle of the night and going against his own cultural practices.
The way his other story piece says that he doesn't charge for rare cases and how he tries to make treatment affordable and give discounts, and is so beloved that people send him so much extra food that he can't even get through it all so he just has Gui bring it to the front of the shop to share with the community. The way he stops every day to make a healthy soup for lunch, and anyone who might happen to call on him can come and eat. I'm--- I'm fine.
The way he stays up with Qiqi every night to reteach her the calisthenics (because she forgets. she forgets. every time. That poor little sieve-like memory of hers...He never loses patience), so that her joints don't get stiff. The way they all share breakfast in the morning....
I'm cradling him gently in my cupped hands. MiHiYo you can't do this to me. He's inside my brain now and he won't fucking leave.
#baizhu#holy GOD#I am not even through all the story bits I have 5 more levels to go#oh my god oh my god oh my god#how does he keep getting better#I am going to have to write fics I'm rattling the bars of my enclosure
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No desire to convert to catholicism but the desire to kind of pretend that no schisms ever happened.
#[sigh] and we'll pray that our unity will one day be restored and they'll know we are christians by our love#txt#It's the bi-monthly angst about denominations don't mind me#whichever church I'm attending I know it's better than my very bleak new age era so it's not worth getting too upset over I suppose#what do you do when the UCC is too reformed and not litergical enough but catholics don't like gays or ordain women and episcopalians#make me angry because they like to ignore the atrocities they orchestrated in the southern united states and honestly every single#denomination has blood on their hands from various atrocities and ugh#too transgender for orthodoxy also#the eastern orthodox church in my city says that women can't wear pants that aren't obviously pants meant for women#so I can't check it out#I will keep going to my UCC church
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Was just thinking about the amount of animals Obi-Wan interacts with compared to literally everyone else and in the Clone Wars episode where Kamino gets attacked he literally gets saved twice by the same ray-like animal and just...
The growth from judging Qui-Gon for the 'pathetic lifeforms' he picks up to whatever he has going on during the Clone Wars era. He must have gotten that from Qui-Gon though, right?
And because it's my brain and it's rotting with all the star wars stuff I am consuming I was thinking of Obi-Wan saving all these creatures and the 212th having to deal with that. Surely they made one of the rooms pet proof in case one of them needs a new home. There also have to be clones who love that because of course Obi-Wan can't really take care of rescues on top of all his duties.
After the first few times this happens Cody learns to order animal food and other necessities. And if the Republic doesn't fulfill these requests or asks too many questions he'll just have to make sure to organize them on planet during the campaigns.
#maybe they even keep a tooka or two#for the morale#but seriously#i have been thinking about writing a soft crackfic about this#just the 212th travelling with a whole zoo#already made up my own clones and all#cody is very done but it makes his general happy so who is he to complain?#when the 501st learn about it they start bothering Rex about it#or they ask Anakin ans Ahsoka to do thr same type of Jedi magics#they want pets too can you blame them?#obi wan is pretty oblivious to all of this#he just wants to help!!#and the tenth tooka was looking just *so* sad what was he supposed to do? leave it all alone and sad and scared?#it's just chaos all around#but also so soft#clones don't get a lot of chances to pet any animals during their training and war doesn't really offer these opportunities either#so whenever other battalions work with the 212th and learn about their zoo they get excited#accidental therapy animals for the clones#and the jedi because what better way to find the energy to keep fighting and bonding with an innocent lifeform that gets affected by the war#adoptions go wild#the wolfpack asks Plo for wolves#Plo struggles to say no#star wars#tcw#obi wan kenobi#212th attack battalion#commander cody#accidental animal acquisition#I just remembered vaguely that in one of the Jedi Apprentice books Obi Wan has a bird on his shoulder??#maybe he didn't get this from Qui Gon after all though I'm sure Qui Gon encouraged and reinforced that behaviour
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and they were tie-mates (oh my god they were tie-mates)
#I FINALLY DREW THEM#only took me a year#i'm absolutely gonna keep messing around with design options for both of them#but i had to have a place to start and as far as starting points go i'm pretty happy with this!#i always forget that i can draw people and not just animals#crazy fact: if you practice drawing people you get better at it. wild. i know.#who knows what stephen's saying#jack's laughing about it whatever it is#aubreyad#aubrey-maturin#jack aubrey#stephen maturin
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