#I'm fucking done

[foldbaron]

It be like that some days.

[drugsforaddicts]

[cafecitoeddie]

y'all wanna be stupid. okay. i'll play along.

ryan says, word for word, transcribed directly from the interview (AFTER BEING ASKED ABOUT THE POSSIBILITY OF A STORYLINE INVOLVING BUCK/EDDIE IN THE FUTURE):

"yeah, you know, like i said it's gotta live in the truth. and i think right now, we live in a moment to moment-- or me, i live moment to moment so the--

i love the fact that the biggest story plot point, between these two characters is, one who happens to be bi, one who happens to be hetero, and they have this vulnerability towards each other and that is the truth to me.

the fact that you have such a safe space and it doesn't matter your sexuality, that you have such a safe space to talk to this individual and they fully accept you. if we can stay with that, then whatever happens, happens. but i don't necessarily want to push the fact that because you're vulnerable you have to be one way or another in your sexuality. that, i would hate to, you know, have a lot of other men who are struggling mentally and-- and uhm, not sure about "oh, do i even open up? will that make me something that i'm not?" i would hate to push that narrative.

if we live in the truth, whatever happens, happens. and again, i'm here for it all."

--

nobody is picking and choosing what to focus on from ryan's answer. nobody is putting on their "delulu buddie deranged BoB biphobic/homophobic glasses!~"

we are extending the very same grace to ryan guzman as oliver stark is extended every single interview he has ever given.

we respect ryan guzman. we respect his thoughts on the character he is portraying and there's a reason why tommy didario chose to ask about the fact that A LOT of people thought it was going to be eddie to come out before buck. the breadcrumbs have been there for several seasons now and it certainly doesn't take shipping buddie to see it.

up until episode 7x04, for all intents and purposes, evan buckley was a heterosexual man. (the comments regarding his sexuality were and still are extremely nasty and gross, don't misunderstand me.) however, nowhere was there an interview prior to this season that discussed evan buckley's sexuality, by either oliver or anyone in the crew. (PLEASE CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG I WILL HAPPILY ADJUST MY STANCE~)

to all of a sudden focus solely on the fact that ryan has called eddie diaz a heterosexual man multiple times says so much more about you, then it does about him.

if we can all look back on evan buckley's history and accept oliver stark speaking on his queer undertones and how he chose to protray him AFTER THE FACT, then why can we not do the same for ryan guzman? he can call eddie diaz a heterosexual man till he turns blue in the face. why? BECAUSE HE IS SPEAKING THE TRUTH. why? because at this present point in time and space THAT IS HIS TRUTH, RIGHT NOW.

[chelledoggo]

i am so mad i am so scared i am having a panic attack seriously i am at my FUCKING limit.

so you may recall the post i made about my stalker, ArMartz.

well SOMEHOW he's tracked me down to the Progressive/Queer-Affirming Christian Discord server/online church I'm in and joined days ago, and i'm just now noticing it. i have mod privileges there so i blocked him but... i feel so fucking violated.

like seriously i'm not even exaggerating.

this was supposed to be my safe space. my place of emotional and spiritual healing.

and he's thoughtlessly, carelessly, SELFISHLY infiltrated it. as if i'm not even a fucking human being to him.

i'm so fucking upset right now. like i'm gonna be sick.

there's no fucking STOPPING him.

i can't ESCAPE him.

i wouldn't put it past him to find out where i live and drive to my house and try to do something horrific to me.

ARMARTZ.

LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.

I DO NOT LIKE YOU.

AT ALL.

NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT.

I WILL NEVER BE YOUR FRIEND.

I WILL NEVER WELCOME YOU BACK INTO MY LIFE.

EVER.

YOU ARE HURTING ME.

YOU ARE A SELFISH, HEARTLESS, PSYCHOTIC FUCKING PRICK.

YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME.

YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT YOURSELF.

I DON'T CARE IF YOU HATE ME FOR THIS.

I DON'T CARE IF I HURT YOUR LITTLE FEE-FEES.

I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU.

FUCK.

OFF.

[judahlux]

I constantly think they can give us the friendly fucking sparring to make those headcanons come true BUT THEY INSIST THEY NEED TO FIGHT TO KNOW WHO IS THE STUPID TOP IN THIS RELATIONSHIP AGAIN

[nepentheseeker]

I CAN'T ANYMORE GUYS I JUST CAN'T

GUN FVCKING JUMPED

LIKE THIS

[notmybitch]

you guys... I was rushed to the hospital a few days ago, had a horrible weekend and everything is a bit scary right now. So I thought that watching the new episodes was going to give me a bit of happiness, a little peace of mind. It turns out that I was far too optimistic.

BUT I must say I loved the angst we had today, the perfect mix of pure agonizing love and a shot of hemlock :)

Marta telling Fina 'te amo' while asking her if they should break up? Writers, I am in your wallssssss. THIS IS INSANE. I love you.

Alba's acting today totally blew me away, all her little gestures were killing me. Both were amazing in their scene together.

[violetmuses]

Nobody talk to me for a while.. 😞

[shy-raccoon]

I'm so fucking cooked. I'm currently studying to get an associates degree in natural sciences. I'm on my second year and I'm planning to finish my degree this year bc I already switched my degree once and it turned a 2 year collage into a 3 year collage. BUT now that Trump has won I don't know what I can do with my associates degree. He will end all goverment regulations, policies and agencies that have to do with the enviroment or biology. Without regulations private companies won't have any reason to hire someone with a natural sciences degree. I don't know if I can get a bachelor's degree or even a different associate's degree since trump will definitely be cutting student aid. I'm 20 and still live with my parents now I don't know if i'll ever be able to afford to move out. That's not even getting into the fact I'm a queer neurodivergent woman with multiple physical disabilities.

[cold--carnage]

doesn't matter if it's tumblr drama or a life threatening arson case. the people who hurt me get away with basically no consequences and I get treated like I'm the one who committed all of the fucking crimes

[notfknapplicable]

My library is getting rid of our media desk and almost certainly planning to just throw out all of our physical media. I'm FURIOUS and honestly so fucking upset. I just requested a once-lost classic queer film so I could see it the way it was intended to be seen by the filmmaker. I'm so worried that our copy of this legendary queer film is gonna end up in a dumpster.

[writercole]

Alright, tumblr. It's time for an etiquette lesson.

Moodboard creators deserve more appreciation than someone saying 'Oh if someone writes this tag me.'

Moodboards are fanart. They take time, energy, and a lot of thought, almost like a fic.

You disregarding their work by asking people to just 'write a fic' about it is rude. You're saying that what they're doing isn't good enough and that you're a greedy little bitch.

So let's get better together.

Oh - and don't steal their work either.

[marcelinesghost13]

Is there something wrong with me? Cuz I swear to God my kindness it just keeps... Biting me in the ass. Today I got my spouse's meds and I thought that was that. But she wanted to go out to Michael's in order to get a Halloween house that you purchased. So I agree. We drove out we were getting along even though she went fucking psycho last night. Matter of fact how about we stop for a second let me let you know when I mean by she went psycho last night and then I will continue this story.

So last night I dropped her off after we spent three to four hours driving around taking photos and hanging out around New Mexico. You guys can see those photos if you'd like I did post them and they're really pretty I think. But we are having an amazing day and we were getting totally fucking along.

Then I dropped her off at home she was falling asleep on the couch I helped her to bed and she said good night and I said good night and everything was all good. Then I got fucking home and she blew up my phone letting me know how I've been fucking with her head this entire fucking time. That's all I've been doing the whole time me and her have been married. It's been playing fucking head games with her. I've been lying from the very beginning of our relationship about me being a girl. And now she's extremely hurt that I have decided to go down this route. On top of that the amount of cheating that I've done has actually hurt her really bad too. And then on top of that the amount of really fucked up shit that my family has done to fuck with her the whole time we've been married. I decided I was not going to engage and all that negativity I let her know I was going to bed and I told her good night. I did tell her at one point though before I forget that I don't love her anymore. So after I was done engaging with her taxes. I went to bed. I woke up in the morning with psychotaxt. She let me know that I was a fake and a liar and a lot of other stuff that she had already told me before. But the part where it gets psycho is that she called my phone a total of 30 times not saying anything and the voicemails were only about 10 seconds long. And then she also gave me text saying the same thing "good night" a total of a little over 50 times. And then she apologized and said maybe I took that a little bit too far. You're fucking think that's a whole lot of fucking crazy. So with all that for some stupid ass reason I still agreed to take her out to get her things.

For the most part we were getting along but there was definitely an awkward feeling the entire time we were together. Then finally around the time when we went to Target and got back to our car is when she decided to go full on meltdown again on me. And the only reason why she got triggered is because I asked her do you want a famous bowl from KFC or a mac and cheese bowl from KFC. She decided to do her whole meltdown and how I betrayed her and how it's fucked up that I am deciding to become a girl again. I have to admit that I turned around and I yelled at her back. I told her I'm sick and tired of you yelling at me I'm tired of you gaslighting me I'm tired of you breaking my shit. That is the reason why I live at my dad's house right now is because I can't take the constant insults that you fling at me at just a random notice. She then let me know that everything that I have to say was a fucking lie and that I'm the one that has been lying the whole time. I told her fine whatever I'm done arguing with you.

I then turn the car on drove all the way from Rio rancho all the way to her house which by the way I still got her food cuz she can't fucking cook. Took all of her stuff that she got into the house. I then left and said goodbye. I am so fucking tired and burnt on the amount of bullshit that this woman has been giving me day after fucking day. I understand Monday and Tuesday I don't have a fucking choice to take her up to Denver for her treatment. But I have no plans on talking to her for the rest of today I am not going to be talking to her on Saturday and Sunday. I'm just so sick of her toxic behavior. And I know I have not done anything wrong I know that I've traded her like a queen the entire time we've been married. So whatever fucked up delusions that she has in her head about how things were supposed to happen in her life then get a fucking grip because life doesn't go by the way that you're supposed to wanted to go. You learn you love you grow together you become better people together. And that Bond develops into this incredible friendship that is a marriage. Your best friend in the entire world should be your spouse. But my wife does not see it that way I don't know how she sees it she's never explained it to me she just lets me know that she's my fucking wife and that's how I'm supposed to see her well I do see you as my fucking wife my crazy ass narcissistic gaslighting fucking bitch of a wife that's how I fucking see her. I fucking so done.

I know we get back on Tuesday I will drop her off at home and I will go back to my dad's house to sleep. But on Wednesday I plan on going to the city and figuring out how to file paperwork for separation I am done I am not doing this anymore. And I don't care how much it fucks her over because that's all she's been doing is fucking me over for years. I have done so many things to bail her ass out of trouble. She has a bad habit of spending way too much money on certain things and getting fucked over and I have bailed her out of all that. there has been plenty of times where she's gotten a ticket for driving way too fast because she does and I paid for that ticket. There has been certain things that she needs in order to do her job or to help with the family function whatever it may be I have paid for that. There's been plenty of times where she doesn't know how to deal with a fucking boss or an individual at work and she quits her job because of that I have supported her every single fucking time. She wanted to go back to school I supported her 100% And I even helped her with it. I have done so many things for this woman and yet I get accused of so many false accusations. I'm done I'm filing for separation on Wednesday.

100620241845

[tyulezhik]

trash

[bunnylafee]

I just wanna be treated well. I wanna be treated the way I deserve. I treat others well but it feels like I just get shit on.

I'm frustrated and exhausted with this entire situation and there's no fucking end to it. Nothing is ever going to change because I won't or can't do anything about it.

I'm shutting down. Not everyone seems to care about my feelings so why should I care about theirs? All I do is manage other people's emotions it feels like, don't make anyone upset/mad, don't do anything that would make them sad, only be goofy and make them happy. It's exhausting. I'm going to build the walls back up and lock the fortress back up. No one gets in.

I'm just going to stop complaining about anything and everything, fake all my happy and just exist. It seems like the only way people would approve of me. Since I keep annoying everyone with my emotions and complaining. Just going to lock it all up and down.

Maybe I'll stop going to therapy to since I never work on myself in there so it's a waste of money. I would go off my pills but I feel like it's the only thing keeping me sane.

[type-40-nightingales]

live reaction to destiel being cannon by thete

AWWW CAS HOLDING HIM AND EBING LIKE CMON DEAN IS SO SOFT BUT UGH UGH UGH

NO NO NO I RECoNGISE THIS HSOT FROM GIFS I feel the tears coming even though nothings happening yet NOPE I CANT HANDLE THIS 'then we fight' UGH I CANT NO. NO. NO ITS NOT DEAN YOU CAN DO OTHER THINGS THAN KILL everybody gonna die cast, everybody, I cant stop it DEAN UGH DEAN "shes gonna get through that door, " "I know" "and shes gonna kill you, and then shes gonna kill me" literally had to pause bc holy shit I know this score honey holding my face in my hands "I'm sorry"' UGH NO NNNONNONONONONOONONONNOONONNONOn CAS DONT DONT CS PLEAS E "I made a deal, to save him" ":"you what?" UGH PLEASE ITS SO CONCERNED" deans face please. HES LITERALLY DOING THE SPEECH imagine watching this in 2020 though "the one thing I want, I know I cant have" literally everyone who watched this as it came out ik u were loosing ur shit then ut fr I HAD TO PAUSE AGAIN BC THIS IS TOO MCUH HES SUCH A WET KITTEN "is something I know I cant have" OKAY OKAY WHY WHY R U DOING THIS TO ME CAS "But i think I know" I keep having to pause bc he smiled he fucking smield with that one smile that I cant fucking live with. "I think I know now" misha ur facial expressions are killing me. "happiness isn't in the having. it's in the being. its in the just saying it" ok so why did misha have to say this line and look like that like y does he have to rip my heart out "what are you talking about man?" I think he knows ugh I think he knows n he really fucking doesn't want to. "I know" misha please stop I want to give you every bafta " "you think that hate and anger that what drives you" " I'm crying I'm actually crying I'm on the floor sobbing "the good and the bad you have done for love " oh deans face he knows he's trying to do the math bc nah he doesn't get it but he knows what cas si saying "your the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know" y . why misha, the tear? the face?? WhY??? THE SWALLOW MISHAS SMILE

THE SUPPRESSING THE SOB BEFORE HE "LIS"YOU CHANGED ME DEAN": "why does this sound like a goodbye" "because it is" why Is mishas voice like that why because he's not pretending anymore because every pretense is collapsing "I love you" I LITERALLY PAUSED THREW MY CHROMEBOOK ON MY BED GOT UP AND HELD MY SELF AGAINST THE DOOR WITH MY HEAD IN MY HANDS IVE SEEN THIS BEFORE I KNEW IT WAS COMING BUT STILLi cant I cant I cant I cant THE SWALLOW "don't do this case" its so gentle, its so soft, he I cant THE FCE WHEN HE SEES THE EMPTY DEANS SO FUCKING UGH WDYM "cas" THATS SO SOFT I CANT "goodbye dean" his voice is back to normal, he pushes dean across the room WITH THAT DMAN HAND PRINT AND HE LOOKS AT THE EMPTY AND FUCKIGNG SMILES

Im so done DEANS GASpS AND HOW HE JSUT. UGH. HES JUST SITTING THERE. that man didn't answer to his brother what do you mean it wasn't recipocated what do you mean. he's literally holding his head in his hands, NAH I'm sorry that is not how someone reacts when someone they're not In love with tells you they loves you then dies. he didn't answer to *sam*