#I'm fairly certain i understood what you meant though?

[basementstalker]

Once a day is really impressive haha! Ngl I'm kind of an addict to just scrolling mindlessly at times, kinds like scrolling on pinterest. What are some of your favorite topics? (Like yandere or darling qualities?)

Well, I suppose it's more that I do my best to only come on here once a day. I have another account that I scroll more on, but the content I follow there is completely different. I tend to feel useless if I'm online too much- have to always be "productive" you know? Whatever that means.

Topics I enjoy? Stories of any format (unfiction, songs, books, video games, etc) with the genre tending towards horror. I enjoy discussing character motivation. Plants, nature, architecture, art, philosophy, and esoterica are all fun to talk about. Although I only really discuss things with my sibling- I don't trust others enough to share my thoughts on most things. I suppose the Internet is another place I feel slightly more comfortable sharing things, giving the anonymity of it all.

Yandere and darling qualities are fun to discuss as well, though a little arbitrary in the end since people are so varied. I don't entirely understand the darling label (other than it means you're interested in a yandere partner- which could be for so many reasons, not to mention the kind of yandere you're interested in). I'm glad it's given people the chance to form a sort of community though.

[kpopsexstories]

Hiiiiiii would you do Jisung (nct) and older woman? 👀 your jeno one was sooooo goooddd

I'm glad you liked Jeno with an older woman 😊 I can do a Jisung one too!

I've imagined Jisung as much more inexperienced compared to Jeno, but with an older woman teaching him even Jisung can be amazing in bed 😏 I hope you like it!

One-shot #6 (requested): NCT Jisung has sex with an older woman

Celebrity: NCT Jisung

Content: Sweet/cute, Missionary, From behind, Sitting, Fingering, Female orgasm, Innocent & inexperienced Jisung fucking an older un-named woman

Type of Sex: MEDIUM/STEAMY

Word Count: 5.7k

They say that age is just a number. In Jisung's case, he was too young to realize that when it comes to sex, that is not at all true.

You see, the sex he had with a woman significantly older than himself set the bar high for him, and he struggled to replicate the experience in the years to come. But it was only when he was much older and wiser himself that he understood just why the sex had been so incredible. It was because the woman knew her own body, and understood what a boy like Jisung wanted. That kind of experience can only come with age.

Even a young person can have lots of sex, and thus be considered experienced in the field. But only time can nurture and mature that experience. To a young man at the start of his own sexual prime, being subjected to that experience can be magical.

That was exactly the case for Jisung and his older lover. He was young, relatively inexperienced, and had only ever been with girls his own age. Those girls were not bad, but they lacked a certain skillset. They didn't fully know their own bodies, and neither did he.

This older woman, however, could almost read his mind. She knew exactly how to make him feel relaxed, what he wanted but was too afraid to ask for, and how to get what she desired too. To the boy, the sex that came out of their night together was nothing short of extraordinary.

Jisung sat down on the bed, his knees close together and feet on the floor. He nervously folded his hands in his lap to cover the bulge in his sweatpants, and chewed on the string of his over-sized hoodie. It was a nasty habit he had picked up, which he turned to whenever he didn't know what to do with his body.

The woman, who shall remain nameless, was in the bathroom. With a seductive smile she had said that she needed a minute to get ready. Jisung had several ideas in his head about what that meant, but wasn't at all sure that it wasn't just wishful thinking.

He felt fairly certain, however, that they were about to have sex. It was why he had agreed to come to her place to begin with. The hope and prospect of getting his dick wet enticed him, and the woman's eagerness fascinated him. Girls his own age were typically not as keen and straight-forward.

Jisung was in deep thought when she finally returned to the bedroom. She stood in the doorway, resting a hand on her hip while leaning against the frame.

Jisung's eyes widened and the string fell out of his mouth. She presented herself in nothing but a black thong and bra. The boner between his legs instantly grew to full size, and a rush of arousal came over him when it pressed against his hands.

Holy fuck! he thought, but tried hard to stay calm and collected.

His facial expression gave him away though, and the woman smiled wide. I've still got it, she thought triumphantly.

It had already been clear to her that Jisung was not experienced. It had taken some work to convince him to come, not because he didn't want to, but because he worried about what their encounter meant. As much as his dick wanted this, the prospect of meeting the woman in her home made his mind uneasy.

She realized this, and understood how insecure he must be feeling. His comfort and pleasure was now her top priority. She wanted to feel loved and desired, and for that to happen she needed to make the boy feel safe and relaxed.

Her naked entrance was a great start to get him hooked. Jisung was about to enter a new world, and she would teach him right. She was about to show him how great sex between two consenting adults could be, but it was crucial that she didn't move too fast or she might scare him away.

Slowly, she approached the boy on the bed. She stopped right beside him, her mature figure towering above his youthful body.

Jisung stared straight ahead, too frightened to look at the laced thong and bra. The woman placed her fingers on his chin, and gently pulled his gaze up toward her eyes.

“Do you want to touch me?” she asked softly.

“Yeah,” Jisung said without moving a muscle.

She grabbed his wrist and guided his large hand to her hip. She pressed his fingers against her skin, and moved the hand slowly up and down.

Then, she held out the other and nodded for Jisung to take it. He hesitated, but eventually removed the protective palm from his crotch. His desire to explore was stronger than his need to hide his dick.

With both hands on her body, Jisung relaxed his legs and turned slightly sideways. The further his hands ventured, the closer he dared to get to the older woman. Soon he was feeling her up without her aid, while gawking at the thin piece of fabric that covered the gap between her thighs. Her experienced pussy was right next to his innocent little face.

The woman began to show signs of desire too. She wanted to show Jisung how good his hands on her body made her feel, and exaggerated the reaction to his touch. She closed her eyes and moaned seductively, spread her legs slightly and swayed her hips for his pleasure. It was all a show to make him feel like he was doing the most amazing job, and encourage him to keep going.

The trick worked. Jisung's fingers eventually ventured from her soft stomach to just below her breasts. While staring directly at her clothed pussy, his fingers climbed up the edge of the bra, until they squeezed the full size of her bosom.

“Mmm,” the woman moaned above his head. “Oh yeah, touch me Jisung.”

She moved her hips in broader motions, and felt herself with her hands. The more enthralled Jisung became, the deeper his ass sank into the mattress.

They got incredibly close. For a split second, his nose brushed against her panties. This prompted him to retract slightly, which in turn made her look down at him.

Their eyes met. She could see the fear and uncertainty in his face, but also his lust and the saliva forming in the corner of his mouth.

To help him stay in the moment, the woman grabbed his arms. She slowly raised them up, and Jisung let her. He straightened his spine and the woman decided that it was time for the next step: to get the young man naked in her bed.

She pinched the seams of his sleeves and pulled. Jisung leaned slightly backwards to help her. His head disappeared into the hoodie, and his thin tummy presented itself. The higher she pulled and the further he leaned back, the more of his slim body was revealed.

Soon enough, Jisung was sitting shirtless and cold, but incredibly hot and horny. He observed the woman when she tossed his shirt aside.

“Is this okay?” she asked and let her eyes wander over his chest and bellybutton.

“Yeah,” Jisung replied.

“Just relax,” she said and leaned down.

She grabbed his biceps and gently squeezed them, prompting him to soften his tense muscles. He lowered his arms from his bare chest, letting his guard down.

“Okay,” Jisung said. His hands rested by his sides on the bed.

The woman looked at him curiously. Her face approached his. Once again she gently raised his chin, and looked him straight in the eye.

Then they kissed. A long, sloppy merger of hot lips. Jisung instinctively closed his eyes, and clutched the bed sheets with his fists.

She used tongue. A lot of it. It ventured into his mouth to the sound of wet lips smacking together.

For the first time, it was her turn to touch him. She placed a hand on his bare shoulder while they made out, then let it glide across his chest and over his nipples.

Jisung immediately became all warm inside, though he felt a cold sensation when a hard piece of metal pressed against his skin. He had never noticed the silver ring around her finger.

Her aging hands touched him with just the right pressure, which made him feel both calm and incredibly aroused. A part of him wanted to sink into the mattress and give himself over entirely to the woman. Another wanted to leap up at her and attack her with passion. A third wanted to freeze in place, too stunned by the magic she subjected him to.

Yet they had hardly even started. There was far more to come, and Jisung couldn't even begin to imagine the amazing intimacy they were about to share.

The woman's hand stopped on his firm abs, just above the seam of his sweatpants. From there, it ventured sideways around his skinny waist, when she stopped kissing him and slowly lowered her body onto his.

Her lips moved down his neck and shoulders. Jisung placed his hands behind him and leaned on his long arms. He looked down at the colored hair on the top of her head, while she knelt beside the bed and wet his chest with her tongue.

She placed a hand on his thigh and gently pushed it away from her. Jisung got the hint. He spread his legs, to allow her body to come in between them.

He became wide-eyed and bewildered, excited yet scared. He knew where she was going. His boner was still covered by his pants, but now that her attention approached the general area of his sensitive part, a nervous feeling once again came over him. It was a feeling of uncertainty and self-awareness, and a fear of being a disappointment to his much older lover. I this moment, he felt like he had no idea what they were doing.

Still, he wasn't about to stop her. He wanted her to touch every bit of his naked body. He wanted to stick his dick inside her pussy, and make love to the woman until he bust inside her. His youthful lust prevailed over a nagging feeling that he didn't belong in the room in the first place.

“Relax,” the woman whispered and looked up at his face, as if she could read his mind. “It's okay.”

Jisung smiled down at her, and caught a glimpse of the breasts in the bra dangling above his torso.

When the woman's knees touched the floor, her head was directly above Jisung's crotch. She placed her hands on his chest, and smiled at him while they slowly moved all the way down to his sweatpants.

She grabbed the seams around his hips. She lowered her gaze to see the outline of his cock. She stuck her fingers inside the pants and pulled, slowly as if to make sure Jisung was indeed ready for all of this.

He certainly was. He wanted it with all his heart. Oh boy, did he want it.

Slightly, he raised his ass to allow the pants to come down. The woman lifted the seam to set the dick free. Its head appeared, hard and pulsing against the lower part of his stomach.

“Mmm,” the woman moaned seductively, as if she was most impressed by the sight. She would have made the same sound regardless. It was part of the show, another technique to make Jisung feel good about himself and wanting for more.

The dick was thin and straight. The veins on the shaft were clear. Jisung's young heart and body were hungry, and on full alert.

Wow, he thought. I can't believe a woman like her wants me.

Wow, she thought too. I can't believe a man like him wants me.

The pants slid down on Jisung's thighs. The seams stretched wide and his knees pressed harder together against the sides of her body.

The woman placed a gentle hand on his waist, and touched his v-line with the other. She reached for the cock. Jisung's eyes widened further still when her fingers touched it. A magnificent sensation of lust shot out from his groin and filled his body with pleasure and desire.

He repositioned his arms and leaned on his elbows. He bent his neck to still be able to see, while the woman kissed the tip of his manhood and glanced in his direction.

She smiled. A soft, gorgeous smile that would make any young man come in his pants.

Then she stuck her tongue out. She grabbed the shaft by the root and pointed the dick straight up. She licked its length, and placed her lips in an O-shape around the head.

Slowly, she lowered her head between Jisung's legs. The lubricated shaft slid inside her mouth. She squeezed her lips tightly around it and sucked, and occasionally looked up to observe Jisung's reaction.

She played around with her tongue, its coarse surface touching every bit of his hot meat. She bobbed her head up and down. Jisung got his first ever blowjob, and damn did it feel good.

For the first time this night, Jisung suddenly let out an audible gasp. He was being brought to the edge, and the woman quickly raised her head and freed the dick from her lips.

It fell onto his stomach with a gentle smack.

“Was that good?” she asked. It was a rethorical question.

“Yeah,” Jisung said, and also for the first time, he managed a smile. His body was now fully relaxed.

The woman smiled to herself, pleased with having gotten this far. She waddled a step backwards on her knees and closed Jisung's legs.

“You know,” she said and pinched the sides of his pants. “When I was your age I was still a virgin.”

Jisung wasn't sure why she brought that up. He remained silent while she pulled.

She took a step to the side as the pants went over Jisung's knees and down his calves. She took them off along with his socks, as if she was a mother changing her child.

“Are you?” the woman asked when Jisung didn't react to her revelation.

“No,” Jisung replied.

He wanted to appear much cooler and more experienced than he was, but the crack in his voices made the woman see right through him. Virgin or not, Jisung was already way out of his comfort zone and it showed.

“What do you like?” the woman asked. She tossed Jisung's clothes in a pile on top of his hoodie.

Jisung lay naked in front of her, his feet still on the floor and upper body supported by his elbows. His soaked dick flinched on his stomach.

“What do you mean?” he asked. He was genuinely confused, and the response was all the information she needed.

The woman never replied and simply smiled her friendly smile. She started to get up. She put a hand on Jisung's thigh for support, and pushed herself to a standing position.

Without taking her eyes off his face, she reached back to undo her bra. She giggled at Jisung's doe-like expression. When she pulled the strap over her shoulder and her breasts were slowly revealed, his mouth was wide open. Saliva once again accumulated behind his lower lip.

“Do you think I'm beautiful?” she asked and let the bra drop to the floor.

“Yeah,” Jisung said. It was his single most used word all night, and sufficient to make the woman feel desired. Maybe it was the way he said it, with a hint of surprise and amazement in his voice.

She wasn't done though. Next, she started swaying her hips again, and slowly pulled down her panties as she stood there by the feet of the young man. Jisung's dick jumped on his stomach, still riding the high of her lips tightly wrapped around it.

The pussy was shaved and appeared larger than Jisung had imagined. He stared directly at it, no longer so afraid that he felt the need to look away.

The woman was beyond pleased with his subtle but obvious reactions. She had feared that she would scare the poor boy away, but could tell that Jisung was ready. He had not been a child for several years. Now, she was about to make him a man.

Completely naked in front of him, she stepped closer to the edge of the bed. Jisung's knees clapped together and slid in between her legs. Saliva nearly started to drip from his mouth.

He kept his eyes on the pelvic area as it approached him. He was not afraid of it any longer, and would not react the way he had when his nose brushed against it. He was wildly attracted to its magic.

The woman leaned down for a kiss. Jisung's ass was on the edge of the bed, and once again it sank into it when he pushed his upper body upwards to meet her lips.

FINGERING STARTS HERE…

They started to make out again. Fully undressed, incredibly horny, and ready to take it all the way.

Jisung's hands instinctively began to explore. They felt the waist and chest above his. Hers did the same, as she had a rare opportunity to touch every bit of a man half her age.

Jisung had grown bold, or at the very least so comfortable and passionate that his mind had stopped working. He reached down between her spread legs as she towered over him, and traced his fingers around her folds.

“Mmm,” the woman moaned into his mouth. “Oh yeah, finger me.”

Jisung stuck a finger inside her, then two, then three. He pushed them deeper while flicking them against her walls, in the vast space of her wet vagina.

The actions came instinctively to him. The deeper inside he got, the more the woman seemed to like it. When his palm pressed against her labia, she was no longer putting on a show.

Between their bodies, she reached down and found the cock. She held it up and stroke it. With their lips still smacking together, they pleasured each other as if they'd been in this position a hundred times before.

They had not. It was their first time. And the best was yet to come.

Slowly, the woman started bending her knees, lowering herself onto Jisung's lap. At first, her hanging breasts rubbed against his chest. Then, she wrapped an arm around his neck to pull him closer. His nose pressed against her shoulder, and he breathed heavily on her skin. When her body was so low that he could no longer comfortably keep his fingers inside her, he retracted his hand and placed it on her ass.

She, however, held onto his cock to guide it. The tip of his dick touched the outer rim of her vagina, and Jisung's body instantly froze.

He held his breath. She buried her lips in his hair. His cock stretched her sloppy folds as it slowly pushed inside. He closed his eyes when his face was pressed against her boobs, and the head became fully ungulfed.

“Ahh,” she whimpered. It had been ages since she had a cock this young inside her.

Jisung let his hands glide across her hips. He dug his fingers in them when the pussy swallowed his shaft whole. Finally, he let out a deep, audible sigh.

The woman straightened her back and sank deeper into Jisung's lap. She pulled him closer still, and held him lovingly around the neck and shoulders.

When Jisung didn't move, she decided to take charge. She started to roll her hips, gently sliding her ass on top of his thighs.

Jisung held her around the waist, and occasionally squeezed her cheeks. Balls deep inside her, he too eventually began to thrust his pelvis back and forth. Carefully, as if trying his way. With each push into the woman, he panted shallowly into her bosom.

“Mmm, yeah,” the woman moaned.

“Uh, uh, uh,” Jisung panted lowly.

This seated position was brand new to him, and he absolutely loved it.

When Jisung stopped panting, however, the woman was quick to change the position. She realized that he became silent for a reason. He was close to coming, and she immediately stopped rolling. She looked down at Jisung whose clutched teeth and twisted face revealed that he was indeed about to explode.

She wasn't ready for him to finish. Jisung made her feel wanted and desired. She wanted to feel this way every day, but would settle for just one night. That night could not be over so soon.

She raised a leg and climbed off of Jisung's lap. She looked at him seductively, then waddled away from him on her knees, toward the center of the bed.

She grabbed his arm and pulled him with her. “Come,” she said.

Jisung turned around and followed her. She leaned forward on her elbows, positioning herself on all four. She spread her legs and stuck her ass in the air, and when Jisung approached her from behind, he saw her back and rear and wasn't sure what she wanted him to do.

Instinctively, he crouched over her body and hugged her from behind. He wrapped an arm around her chest and kissed her shoulder blade. Their legs and feet aligned on the mattress, and his dick stuck out below her stomach.

The top of the shaft rubbed against her vulva like a sausage in a bread. He massaged her breasts and rocked his ass slowly, but otherwise didn't do anything to go further.

The woman reached in under her and found the shaft. She positioned it by her entrance and pushed the head up. Jisung understood what she wanted him to do the moment his dick slid inside her.

“Mm, yeah,” the woman moaned when he caught on, and began to fuck her slowly from behind.

“Oh, oh, yeah,” she repeated, and put her hand on top of the bed frame.

Jisung let go of her boob and straightened his back. His hands slid down her back and onto her hips and ass. He stared down at his crotch between her cheeks, while he kept thrusting slowly into her.

“Faster,” she instructed.

Jisung straightened and tensed his arms. His cute ass began to clench and relax alternately. His thigh muscles helped to keep a steady pace.

“Oh yeah, Jisung, fuck me.”

The words were a turn-on for Jisung. The bed began to shake, and the woman adjusted her grip on the frame. He clutched her hips harder, and slammed his cock deeper inside her. It jammed forward and upwards into her pussy with each lustful move of his thighs and torso.

“Mm, mm, yeah, fuck!” the woman kept whimpering. She buried her head in a pillow and raised her ass higher. “Mm, fuck yeah, Jisung, your cock is so good.”

Jisung had never felt more pleased with himself.

The woman was pleased too. Pleased that she had managed to get Jisung out of his shell. But she also feared that his youth meant that he wasn't able to hold and prolong his orgasm. She still wasn't ready for him to finish, and so she quickly decided he had to pull out.

She suddenly moved away from the man and out of his grasp. She lay down and rolled on her back. She spread her legs wide and invited Jisung into the warmth of her motherly embrace.

MISSIONARY SEX STARTS HERE...

Jisung was surprised by the sudden move, but when he saw her lay there with her legs and arms wide open, he immediately came crashing down on top of her.

They hugged and kissed, while the dick head moved closer and closer to the pussy with each rocking motion of their bodies. Eventually, it slid back inside on its own.

He's so eager, the woman thought. She absolutely loved it.

She's so eager, Jisung thought too. I hope I'm good enough for her.

Jisung stopped kissing and lay motionless in her arms, his head resting beside her face. Only his ass moved up and down, while the rest of him remained completely still.

The woman pressed her hand on his back. “Put your arm around me,” she said.

Jisung did as he was told. He raised his head and pushed his arm in under the woman's body.

“Shift your weight,” she said and touched him gently on the hip. Jisung bent a knee slightly, and his hip leaned into the inside of her thigh.

“Now pull your leg higher up,” she said and tugged on the back of his thigh.

Jisung had been in the missionary position before, but it had never felt this great. The woman's instructions and the subtle changes to their position made a big difference.

“Yes, yes, that's the spot!” she exclaimed when Jisung thrust inside her at an angle.

Everything felt more intimate, and Jisung felt more powerful. For the first time in his sexually active life, he felt in control. The way he was able to weight his motions and use his whole body to move while they fucked made him feel like he knew what he was doing.

Jisung kept bobbing his ass up and down. With the aid of his arm around the woman's back and shoulder he pulled himself forward. When he relaxed, he slid back down on her. With the bent knee below her ass cheek he pushed. He rocked his full length back and forth, up and down, and rolled his hips into her groin with a new-found skill and confidence.

“Kiss me,” the woman said, her final instruction.

Jisung planted his lips on hers. Wrapped in each other's arms, they fucked with a passion Jisung had never experienced before.

“Oh, yeah, yeah,” the woman kept whimpering. “Ah, ah, Jisung, Jisung!”

Hearing her moan his name made Jisung feel good and manly. His straight cock kept slamming repeatedly against her clit, and the sloppy folds tightened around his shaft when she wrapped her legs around him.

“Ahh, ahh,” she kept wailing. “Ah, yes, yes, yes!”

They sighed shallow breaths of air into each other's mouths, and occasionally kissed with a love and force that matched the passion of their hot sex.

Jisung became hot and flustered, and eventually held his breath. The breasts below him pressed against his chest, and the woman's hands on his back and legs around his ass and thighs felt incredible.

He pulled his knee a little higher still. His thigh pressed against her cheek. He raised his upper body slightly. Her breasts shook below him and the bed slammed repeatedly against the wall.

“Grab the frame,” the woman said.

Jisung reached up, his arm and skinny torso stretched long. He took a firm grip on top of the bedframe with one hand, and squeezed hard on her waist with the other. He used them to push and pull his body while simultaneously kicking his feet into the mattress, penetrating the woman deeper than ever before.

Then he clutched his teeth again, and suddenly let out a groan.

“Don't come yet,” the woman said.

Jisung held his breath, but kept on fucking her good.

“Hold it in,” she said.

Jisung focused his mind, but increased the size and tensity of his body's movements.

“Yes, yes, fuck!” the woman said when she couldn't hold it together herself.

That's when Jisung reach his peak. He had fucked the woman wild and passionately for as long as he possibly could. When she orgasmed as a result of his cock hitting her g-spot repeatedly, he couldn't last any longer.

Jisung exploded with a powerful jolt.

“Arrgh, mm!” he howled when he released his load and emptied himself. “Fu-u-uuck!”

It was the first time ever he had made a sound while coming inside a woman. He absolutely loved this new type of sex, and she loved that he had brought out this new side of him.

The strong and manly Jisung that finished inside the older woman was a very different person from the timid boy she had found sitting on the edge of her bed.

When Jisung came down from his orgasm and released his grip on the bed, their bodies were hot and flustered. He panted heavily above the woman, and came down for a deep kiss. She was chipping for air too, coming down from her own orgasm.

Jisung's chest and thin stomach moved visibly in and out when he gasped for air. His abs were highlighted with each powerful exhale.

Then he collapsed in her arms. Every muscle in his body relaxed, and she lovingly wrapped her arms around him. She giggled when he panted into her ear, a gentle laugh of total sexual satisfaction.

When his breaths returned to normal, she pushed him gently on the shoulder. Jisung slowly rolled off her and lay on his back by her side.

He was spent and happy. He put an arm behind his head and smiled. She leaned into his chest and kissed him.

“Wow,” he said, unable to wipe the smirk off his face. “That was incredible!”

The woman merely giggled lovingly, and played with her fingers on his flat stomach. Incredible was an understatement. It had been years since she had gotten this kind of action from her husband.

*****

Jisung opened his eyes. “I need to pee,” he said lowly, taking them both out of their sleepy and meditative state. He gently caressed the woman on her back, while she rested her head on his chest.

“Sure,” she said and rolled away, letting the man beside her go.

Jisung sat up and crawled out of bed. She admired his slim figure and cute ass when he walked away from her. He crossed the room with a certain posture, a cool confidence of a man who had just had the greatest sex of his life.

When he returned, he found the woman sitting by the foot of the bed. She was playing with the ring around her finger, and had put on a t-shirt and panties. White ones, much larger than the black thong he had seen her in before.

Jisung stopped and looked at her. She let go of her finger and glanced at his naked body, and the slack young dick hanging low between his legs.

“You should probably go,” she said. The words took him by surprise.

But he didn't want to show his disappointment. “Yeah,” he agreed. “They'll wonder where I am.”

“Who will?” the woman asked.

“My friends.”

She watched him in silence for a moment, then smiled softly. “Come here.”

Jisung approached her with a slow determination. She pulled him in and kissed him, and ran her fingers over his hot, slim body one last time. His skin had cooled down since the sex had ended.

She leaned down and kissed the dick. Blood immediately came rushing to it, and it began to grow in size.

“Alright,” she said and leaned back. “You don't want to make them worried.”

Jisung wanted to stay. He knew that if he left they might never see each other again. But he had a feeling that he shouldn't, and that there was something else going on with the woman.

They had done what he came there for, and he was mature enough to know that he was much too young for her. She had only invited him for sex, and now that part was over. She was not looking for a serious relationship, but then again neither was he.

When neither of them spoke, Jisung turned around and picked up his clothes from the floor. He sorted them in the middle of the room, and before his dick would grow to full size again he quickly put on his underwear.

He suddenly wanted to hide his boner. The woman kept watching him, smiling faintly. He felt shy and out of place.

“Will I see you again?” Jisung asked when he pulled up the sweatpants.

“I don't think so,” the woman said, a little too quickly.

“Why not?” Jisung asked. For the first time, he worried that perhaps he had not been as great in bed as he thought he had. Maybe she wasn't satisfied by his performance after all.

“My… I have to see someone.”

Jisung stood shirtless and stared at the tangled sheet on the bed. He clung to the hoodie in his hands.

He suddenly became afraid to face the woman, wondering if he had done something terribly wrong.

Slowly, he slid the shirt over his head, then adjusted the hood behind it.

“I had a great time,” the woman said and suddenly smiled wide, as if she realized that things were turning awkward and she wanted to bring them back to their happy moment. ”You were great.”

Jisung merely grunted. “I should go,” he said, and his friends were really just an excuse.

The woman stood up and approached him. She wrapped her arms around the boy and kissed him passionately on the lips. Jisung's hard-on poked through his pants.

“Thank you,” she said.

For what? Jisung wanted to ask.

“You're welcome,” he said and they kissed again.

Then he turned around and walked away.

“Goodbye,” he said in the doorway.

“Goodbye,” the woman replied, but made no effort to walk him out.

Jisung could be feeling a lot of things in this moment. But his heart was full of joy and his body full of pride. His mind was occupied only by one thing: the amazing older woman, her naked body and wonderful touch.

She had showed him her magic and taught him experienced sex. Though he did not yet realize it, he would eventually come to understand that the sex had been so great because of her higher age.

The age difference between them played an important part, and Jisung would struggle to recreate the experience with girls his own age. They simply weren't the same.

For now, however, Jisung knew one thing for sure: that his time with an older woman had been fucking magical.

[agirlandherquill]

the first "official" snippet

it has been a whirlwind for the last few days, so much has happened, so much needs to be done, and working on the next stage of Ruin's Reprisal is so nerve-racking and so, so exciting that i thought - why not share the very first ten pages, in what i am fairly certain is their final form?

at this stage i'm gradually doing a read through of my draft as an ePub on my kindle (it is insane to be reading this as though it's an actual book) and chapter by chapter, after reading it, i go back through and make any finer adjustments, such as grammatical changes etc - and since i've just done that for the prologue (almost 30 something pages, counting off the top of my head- whew!) i can share these first ten pages with you all!

so, without further ado, here they are!

At first, the world was ours.

Created by the truest being of all, the mother of everything sacred, Mutja-Har, my people were divine blessings upon the land, people bestowed with gifts unlike any other. But we grew idle - over time, we became greedy. Every story that I have read tells of a great voyage to a vast continent - I believe it was no voyage, but a retreat, after Mutja-Har’s scorn blighted the land and forced us out in shame for an act history has long since forgotten. But it turns out that this continent was not for the taking. The land was already inhabited by non-blessed folk, who have had many names over the years, but in my lifetime, they were Alirians.

And because of this strange newfound need to coexist, the Haelish had to learn to share. They had to change their ways, their language. They were forced to adapt, they were forced to change, almost completely.

The blessed became humble - well, humbler. They established themselves, due to their riches, as an aristocracy, founded themselves a Noble Court and claimed territory, even if the country was not their own. 

The Haelish were rulers once more. And so they remained, for many years. Preserving their ways, their lives, their bloodlines, everything was sacred. Everything was perfect.

Until one day, a day meant for the union of powerful families set to rule Aliria forevermore. But instead of unity, there was calamity. There was murder.

And for the first time in history, the Haelish found themselves bidding farewell to peace. In its place, they welcomed the title of Exilza.

Exile.

Me.

I believed I was the first. To break the rules. To go against tradition - Even if I was innocent of my crime - But it turns out that I was wrong. Instead of one, there were three.

But for now, for the start of this tale, let us focus on me.

The morning of my doom, and the eve of who I used to be. 

After all, who doesn’t enjoy a wedding?

~ ~ ~

How far would it take for me to fall to my death? To escape? All I want is for things to be different. For things to change.

Change. Now that is something I have never understood at all.

What does it take for a life to change? A moment? A day? A choice? Or perhaps, does it come down to having no choice at all?

This wedding was to usher in a new era for the country, for the people. Both Alirian and Haelish. But choice had never factored into it, not for her at least. She did not decide the path her life would take. She did not choose to wake up before the dawn. She had not chosen to be shuttered away in her room, biding her time. Her only saving grace was the window.

And she had it wide open.

Sunlight flickered through, bathing the room in warm light. Pale blue drapes floated in the wind, wrapping around her as she leaned against the window frame, deep in thought. In the light, visible specks of dust floated without a care, moving freely - they were free. 

Free, the word sounded like nothing more than a listless dream, it was a concept utterly unknown to her. Edeva stretched out her hand to touch a speck, driven by curiosity. Once it brushed past her fingers she grew bored, breathed out a tired sigh and returned her attention to the open window, a faint smile on her face. 

At least if this morning is my final one of normality, it’s a pretty one. 

The rising sun painted the Palace in a flattering light. The walls glistened, the perfectly carved stone reflected the sunlight whilst towering over the landscape. Down below, she could see the silhouettes of servants rushing to and from the courtyard, resembling very lost children. A sweet-smelling gust of wind drifted in through the window. Taking a delicate sniff, her body relaxed. Lavender. Its pleasantly distinct scent in the air comforted her. As the start of the day drew on, she found herself savouring every small comfort possible, even if it was something so simple as a scent. I have to enjoy what I can before I’m too busy to do otherwise. Life’ll be unbearable without my memories, as Mama always tells me. 

“Conteis Edeva?” A small voice echoed at the door, making her jump. Edeva decided to delay answering, wanting to savour her moment by the window once more. Her back was to the door, favouring the view of the window’s panorama to that of the furniture indoors, so she was unable to see the face of the speaker as they opened the door. “Conteis?” The voice spoke a second time, along with a few gentle knocks. Giving up protecting her peaceful daydream, Edeva tore herself from the window, tilting her body to the door. Is it time already? It feels too soon. Far, far too soon. She let out a slow exhale to steady her mind before answering. “Come in.” Do not. Stay away. Let me have these last few moments to myself. But it was too late. The words had been said.

Weddings. The word rotted in her mouth. Pompous events acknowledging what? A transaction? An exchange of words? They have nothing to do with love. Nothing to do with me. And here I am, the bride to be. She grimaced. High-Mother, Mutja-Har, give me strength. Praying in Alirian was not enough, she needed the High-Mother, the Haelish faithful touch, to give her the strength to get through the day.

The door opened further, granting the person access to the room. A petite maid entered, brandishing a joyful smile on her face - one Edeva wished to bottle up and express herself because she lacked the energy to form one of her own - she recognised the girl as one of her mother’s personal servants. Maidens, I believe she calls them. Though I fail to recall this one’s name, it’s a pity. She could not even bring herself to try to remember. No sense in making any friends that I’ll have to leave behind. 

The girl was soon followed by five others, of varying ages and appearances, each carrying an extravagant bundle or box of something she did not care to see. “It’s time my lady.” The first girl offered her a kind smile, holding out a hand as she gestured to the chair at the nearby vanity. With a slightly exaggerated sigh, Edeva took a seat. Time for what? The last moments of my freedom? Or to fulfil my duty? She struggled to find the courage to make polite conversation, settling on smiling occasionally as the women hurried around the room. Through the mirror’s reflection, she watched them curiously, taking in their excited smiles as they looked at her every so often. They’re far more excited about this than I will ever be. It’s a shame, really. 

She settled into the chair, deciding to let them get to work.

A short while later, she was covered in fine powder, the dust cloud made her cringe. Are they trying to offer me the small mercy of death by choking me beforehand? She laughed silently to herself. As a Maiden brushed her hair through, Edeva wondered over what the day would bring. She continued to wonder, squirming involuntarily as her locks were twisted and tugged into order, secured by a few glistening pins. 

She tilted her chin up, taking a second to examine their handiwork. She had expected more but the powder was all that sat on her face. The fine dusting had hidden the sickly pallor of her cheeks, but in her mind, it was nothing more than a clever trick to hide her unease and enhance the one thing people always adored the most: beauty. Not that the powder contained any magical properties as she had expected, no cheating ways to alter her appearance. It doesn’t matter, she thought dryly, What I think doesn’t mean a thing. She forced a smile onto her face, testing the legitimacy of its appearance in her reflection. She had to hide her horror at seeing the smile appear all too natural. Edeva glanced over her shoulder to the women who were occupied with smoothing out a dress on her bed. 

“May I have a moment to myself?”

The Maidens looked at her, flashing encouraging and knowing smiles before they scattered.

They think I’m nervous. That’s ridiculous, She sighed heavily at the thought, I’ve never been nervous a day in my life. I’m just exhausted with all of this, and the main part of the day hasn’t even begun. High-Mother give me strength, I need time to get my head together. 

She turned back to the vanity, raising a lazy hand to her temple as she studied herself in the mirror. If this is my last day as myself, I want to look my best. Besides, Mama wouldn’t reprimand me, she reminded herself, I do need to take some pride in my appearance, even today. She reached for an old friend, a case of brushes, paints, and powders set by purposefully on the side of the vanity. With careful concentration, she got to work.

Once she was done, she gave herself a final once-over in the mirror. The lids of her eyes were now slightly smudged in silver, a nod to her family’s colours. Her cheeks were slightly pinker, giving a more dramatic effect against her skin. She let her gaze abandon the blueness of her eyes, moving up to see the work her hair had undergone.

The stark, unmissable whiteness of her hair contrasted everything in the room, as it always did. Most of her hair had been braided into a bun, while other stray strands hung loosely by her face. It looks nice, she thought. She smiled again, though it failed to quite reach her eyes. Today has to happen. I have to go through with this, for everyone’s sake. The words felt like a lie even as she thought them. She slumped back in her chair with a sigh. If Mama walked in now… She pinched the bridge of her nose.

Why am I here? Really? Simply because I have no other choice? The thought pained her. She struggled to answer her own questions. Edeva stood, dragging herself to the bed where her outfit for the ceremony had been draped out. The Maidens would still be absent for a few more minutes, which relieved her, because she enjoyed changing in peace. She discarded her robe on the floor and slipped into the dress, not forgetting to slip her feet into the shoes waiting at the foot of the bed.

Without a second thought, she moved herself over to the full-length mirror that stood proudly beside the window. I might as well take a look at the monstrosity I’m being forced to wear as I seal my fate, she thought bitterly, taking in her outfit. The dress was made of white silk, the finest that money could buy, covered in blue ruffles, lace bows and long skirts, ones that weighed down her body in an uncomfortable manner. The accents of the dress bothered her. They’re blue, not silver. 

The dress honoured a family, but not hers. 

Blue was the Alirian Court’s signature colour - those of the royal family. 

The gown was a stranger, and certainly not the one she had dreamt of. It was not the one she had chosen. But then again, every choice she had made about the wedding so far had been ignored, why should her own attire be any different? She sighed at herself, the smile she wore matched the dress. Lies. Masks. All to please everyone but her.

She buried her hands in her skirts, lifting them enough to catch a glimpse of the shoes that threatened to cut off her circulation. She could not help but grimace. Her slippers were made of glass. If I’m lucky, they’ll shatter and stop me from walking.As much as she fancied the idea, something else broke instead. Her peaceful isolation. The Maidens returned. They strained to see over one another, hovering in the doorway. A chorus of “Oohs” and “Aahs” gave her a strong urge to rip out her hair. She did not feel like herself, but deep down she already knew she would never feel like that again. Not if she went through with the wedding.

The Maidens’ attention broke away from her, looking down the corridor as though they were being summoned, and Edeva did not doubt it. It’s a busy day for everyone. With a chorus of gasps, they rushed off, leaving the door to close on its own. 

She studied her face once more in the mirror. The blue of her eyes seemed different, she suspected that they were darker because of the clouded turmoil stirring in her veins with each passing moment. This day was not her dream, it was a nightmare.

Briefly, the turmoil was surpassed by relief. 

If the Maidens were rushing off, it meant she still had time. Time to see Mama, she will know what to do about all of this, about me. Edeva hesitated, glaring at her slippers. The moment that she returned, she planned to get rid of them, but for now, she had to go.

She hovered in front of the door, thinking of a plan.

Two guards would be stationed outside, as usual. She needed to get past them without a fuss. It was only a matter of how. Edeva opened the door, sticking her head out to smile at the two gentlemen assigned to her protection. They wore embroidered blue suits, a much more regal look than that of a typical Guardsman uniform. They’re going to be front and centre at the ceremony, it seems I’m not the only one who needs to look my best.

“Good day gentlemen, I’m just going to visit my mother,” She pressed a hand to her throat, laughing nervously, “It’s bridal nerves you see. I won’t be long.” She put on a girlish giggle as she stepped out of her room, even if doing so made her internally retch.

“My lady, you really should stay inside until it’s time.” The guard to her left sounded uncertain, looking at his counterpart with caution. The other guard remained silent, the only sign of his annoyance remained in the narrowing of his eyes as he looked her over, almost as if he was searching for an ulterior motive. Edeva held the sweet smile on her face, engaging in further conversation with the more social of the two. “I won’t leave the Palace, don’t worry. But I think I’d like to see my mother now, and as I said, I won’t be long.”

She moved past them, hitching up her dress to give herself further room to walk, whilst ensuring that she kept her strides quick and steady, hastening along the corridor. Behind her, the guards spluttered their objections, all of which she ignored. They can’t follow me. They’ve been ordered to remain right there. No-one else needs to know that I ever left my room. It seems getting past them wasn’t so difficult after all. She sighed in relief as she rounded the corner from her room’s more private corridor, moving into a longer one adjoining the rest of the Palace. Now, Mama ought to be in the West Wing, which isn’t far away, thank the High-Mother. Edeva set off, determined to have a talk with her before the time came for her life to change, and for her opinions to die alongside it.

* * * * *

The Palace staircases were as grand as they were tall. A chandelier watched over the stairs, coating each step with a slither of light that made the marble appear less straining on the eyes, and almost welcoming. The gentle feel very nearly tricked her body into thinking the Palace was just as warm, but the sharp pain in her feet made her know better. Each step sent minuscule daggers of pain tearing at her skin. The first chance I get, I am shattering these blasted things.She found a moment of respite on a landing. 

“Who in their right mind would create something like these?” Edeva spoke aloud, mumbling to herself. She had had enough. The slippers came off with ease, to her relief, as she freed her feet from the confines of the glass cage. The coldness of the floor numbed her soles, rendering them immune to further pain as she continued her trek to the upper floor of the Palace’s Western Wing.

The stairs seemed to melt into the carpeted floor, giving way to a familiar corridor. Edeva approached the first door on the right, letting herself in. 

Mama’s quarters feel larger than I remember. She noted, taking in the rooms. The parlour was a respectable size, furnished with the typical necessities - the only thing that stuck out to Edeva was the blue chaise that took up the centre of everything. And lounging upon it was the woman Edeva had come to see.

Mama. 

The smell of lavender greeted her. Aldora Vitaire held a powerful and yet gentle countenance about her, and it made Edeva wonder, How did a woman like her manage to ensnare the great Conteir Cordell, who lowers himself to no-one? He’s fearless. Except when he’s around her. You would think the titles were the other way around - she has none by birthright and he does. As do I. 

The thought of titles saddened her with the reminder of her ancestral home. I wish I was back there again, but I can’t be. I’m here, She cleared her head of nostalgic thoughts and returned her attention to her mother. She looked lost in a dream, gazing at the ceiling with a distant smile on her face. Edeva could see so much of herself in her, the eyes, the posture, many parts of her and her father made up who she was. Except for the hair. Neither her mother or father had hair quite like it. No-one had ever been able to explain it, but Edeva accepted her hair just as she did every other part of herself.

 Studying her mother’s dreamy gaze, sadness tugged at her heartstrings. The dreamily distant gaze had grown more visible with the passing weeks. As powerful as she is, it isn’t enough. Her mind’s slipping away, slowly. And lately, it’s been getting worse. None of the healers have been able to help.

“Mama?” Edeva spoke softly, kneeling down by the chaise. 

“Is it time already?” Aldora slowly turned her head, letting out a sigh. 

Edeva placed a hand on her mother’s arm, smiling. “Not quite yet, I just needed to see you.”

“Edeva, is that you?” Her blue eyes examined every inch of her face, gently questioning with a single look.

“Yes, it’s me, Mama.” She stared at her mother’s eyes patiently, watching recognition gradually lighten her irises. Her eyes crinkled at the edges as she smiled. “Edeva. My sweet, sweet girl.” Aldora reached for an item resting in her lap, a necklace, one Edeva recognised. White chain, silver jewels adorning a crystal pendant - this is her most treasured piece of jewellery. She glanced at her mother, brows furrowed in confusion. “Mama?”

“This will look lovely on you my dear.” Aldora patted her hand, sitting up on the chaise. Edeva held still as she clasped the necklace around her neck. She reached up to touch the pendant, clutching it gently. “Mama, I couldn’t, this is yours.”

Aldora tutted, giving her shoulder a fond pat. “And now it is yours. It suits you.” She could see the small twinkle in her mother’s blue eyes. She had inherited them from her, and the crystal pendant very nearly presented an identical colour when it caught the light just right, sitting at the base of her throat. She stared at the crystal, inhaling slowly to gather herself.

The time has come. I can’t put this off any longer. “I need to ask you something.”

Her mother’s gaze had changed, subtly, but Edeva knew enough by now to notice the difference. She’s gone again. 

“It’s not just a necklace, you know. Crystals know things.” Her words were so quiet that Edeva only just caught them.

“Not just a necklace?” She repeated carefully, lifting the necklace from her neck. She rubbed her thumb over the crystal. “It’s only a crystal Mama, nothing more, though it is lovely.” Aldora’s hand suddenly touched her cheek, cupping it with gentle fingers. “Edeva. Everything will be all right, this is for the best my dear. For you. For everyone.”

“But what if I don’t…” Her weak protest trailed off, her throat choking up. I never wanted this day. I’ve been putting it off for so long, praying against it, and it’s here. All too soon. Edeva cleared her throat. “What if I don’t want to marry him?”

Aldora gave her a knowing smile, tipping her chin up with her index finger. “You are a Vitaire. You will know what to do when the time is right. You can do whatever you set your mind to. Vitaires do not fall. We stand. And we stay standing. As will you.” Edeva threw her arms around her mother, swallowing a sob. The older woman patted her back affectionately.  “Thank you.” She took a shaking deep breath. “I know I should want this… But I don’t.” She pulled away from her mother’s warm embrace. “I-I can’t do this.”

Aldora took Edeva’s hand, putting it against the pendant, her fingers making her hold it.“In all the eighteen years of your life, I knew there would never again be someone as strong as you. You need to use that strength now my child. You can do this. Let the High-Mother guide you.” Edeva’s fingers tightened around the pendant with such force a part of her feared it would break.

“Come along Edeva, it’s time now.” Her mother offered her a gentle smile, though Edeva did not miss the way it failed to reach her eyes, as her own so often did.

Reluctantly, Edeva pulled on her slippers, once more the glass threatened to crush her feet. Fearful of her legs buckling beneath her, she found herself taking her mother’s arm.

It’s time then, time for the ceremony, time to say goodbye to myself, and to life as I know it.

~ ~ ~

now for the tag list!

(p.s if you'd like to be included/notified too, interact with this post :))

@humbly-a-doppelganger @imawholeassmood @frostedlemonwriter @yrndrgn @abditorywriting

@riveriafalll @lead-to-code @casualsuitturtle @floweryprosegarden @joeys-piano

@catwingsathena @godsmostfuckedupgoblin @nothoughtsjustmhaandotherthings @anaisbebe

@drchenquill @leahnardo-da-veggie @tiredpapergirl @pastelpinkhobbies

[jamesisasimp]

Any fic recs? :) Barry, Evan, Wolfstar, jegulus! I’m DESPERATE! 🫶

Oooo okay, I have a few! I'm not super well versed, but these are some that come to mind!

quite like us: alarainai

[18:12] Seriously, wrong number. Don’t send shirtless pictures to strangers.

[18:13] Padfoot, this rejection hurts.

[18:16] What’s a Padfoot?

[18:17] Wait, is this actually not Padfoot?

[18:19] I don’t even know what that is, but no. I’m not a Padfoot.

Basically this is a wrong number fic, jegulus, background wolfstar, Barty's in this one too and he's the best friend ever! 16 chapters, light angst in the middle, and a happy ending! All around this easy such a fun, enjoyable read, I couldn't stop thinking about it

Baila Morena: officialmarseliphas

James was an arrogant prick. His annoying brother’s annoying best friend. But there he was, dancing and singing and drinking like he was ever allowed to be so beautiful. Regulus understood then that James was like the sun--hot, excruciatingly distant, and blinding. And Regulus needed both.

OR

Drunk James is a little more Gryffindor than Sober James. But even Sober James is obsessed with Regulus Black.

So this is a lil oneshot with a drool-worthy Hispanic James that Regulus does indeed drool over, so I speak the truth. Highly reccomend, though fair warning, James may (will) make you blush (+ supportive slytherin skittles)

forbidden fruit: moonystarx (girl__almighty)

part one of eight: all mouth, no trousers

James shoved him back, just slightly, and gritted his teeth, keeping his fists clenched at his side.

“Regulus, I said shut the fuck up!” Regulus just kept taunting him, teasing a smile onto his lips. James raked his eyes over his white teeth and pouty pink lips and his stomach flipped. The thought crossed his mind that Regulus would be nice to kiss, what with his girly lips and all, at the same time he thought about purpling the pale skin around his eyes. 

“What, are you going to make me?” Suddenly, James’ mind was made up.

If Regulus wanted to play, he’d play. 

This is a series with eight parts (the second one is my personal favorite), it takes place during Hogwarts years in which Regulus is appointed James' potions tutor so he can go to Slughorn's party and impress Lily. It starts out with a lot of smut (*THIS IS A SMUTTY SERIES*), but it actually gains a lot of emotional and romantic substance

Drugs and surgical scrubs: anauro

James was fairly certain nothing could ever come close to heroin, absolutely nothing, but Regulus Black wasn’t far off.

Medical AU fic set in modern London, where Regulus is a doctor and Marauders are drug addicts. Rated mature for addiction (including implied underage use and overdoses) and mental health illness themes. Chapters 20+ contain smut. All characters are adults.

Eventual James/Regulus, where it is James that needs saving.

This. THIS. I don't even have the words to describe how amazing THIS is to you. And no, it's not finished yet, but it doesn't NEED to be finished, because it is stunning. It's primary ship is jegulus and it's done perfectly, but there's some horny background wolfstar and technically background rosekiller... but if you want rosekiller I recommend:

Curiosity killed the cat (what Evan and Barty did that night): anauro

As his best friend of eight years, Barty knows exactly how to heal Evan’s broken heart.

This is meant to be read after ch18 of Drugs and surgical scrubs and is the accompanying piece, explaining what Evan and Barty did whilst James and Regulus played boardgames.

Having said that, it will also work as pwp if all you’re looking for is some smut!

As the summary implies, this rosekiller oneshot goes along what the previous fic, but it can be read on it's own too! It's smut. Very hot smut. Might wanna turn on a fan before reading this one 😘

I Stayed There: stoned_regulus

“I can’t lose you again.” & “Don’t raise your fucking voice at me.” + Rosekiller

It’s like he’s been transported back in time to that place he tends to haunt when he’s left alone with nothing but his thoughts. When Evan told Barty he’d found someone. When he told Barty he was happy. When Evan left him there in that restaurant. When Barty realized he’d been living in a fantasy of his own design thinking the boy he’d loved, loved him back.

I went on such a journey to re-find this, but I remembered it so fondly that I knew I had to. This is another rosekiller oneshot with some past love-lost angst, but they meet again at a party! I know there's background jegulus and maybe some other ships that I can't remember right now... but still worth a read!

Happy Christmas to you too: MoonageMiles

Barty comes home to his flat, and Evan stayed awake waiting for him

You guessed it ANOTHER rosekiller oneshot. This one is set during the war, after Regulus's death, on Christmas, and Evan and Barty are just trying to hold onto each other on the dark side. It's short and sweet (nevermind the fighting in the beginning, don't look at that, shhh) and I loved it

❤

I know I didn't add any main ship wolfstar fics to this list, I just don't really read them unfortunately. I think I have my perfect view of them in my head, you know? But I think some of my favorite portrayals of them, again, in the background (of jegulus primary fics) that I haven't already mentioned are these:

Ogni Parte È Viva (Every Part Is Alive): euphorial_docx

when you were mine: sequinhaze

And then also, just for fun, I'm adding some fics I've never read before but that I found while getting all the info for this list. They looked interesting to me, so they might interest you!

in the end, it's the beginning: zeromancies

Regulus has never been addicted to something. Not really. But then again, he’s so far deep in the rabbit hole of addiction. Being addicted to James Potter was absolutely exhilarating and it’s the rush of adrenaline Regulus gets every time he ghosts his fingers over James’ skin that keeps him craving more.

Regulus is invited to go to Sirius' eighteenth birthday holiday in Tenerife - with his group of friends, and one James Potter to permanently alter his perception of almost everything.

How To Not Die Young: Sock_Meister_png

"Remus finds himself with his legs dangling over the edge of the small bridge at the end of the street. He looks down and for a second, he's anyone but himself."

"Regulus lets the waves pour over his knees, he allows the water do as it will with him. He allows himself to close his eyes and simply exist. He wonders if this is what freedom feels like."

"Barty lies down on the other side of the river. He desperately grabs onto the grass on either side of him. As if mother earth would take more pity on him than that is capable of his own mother."

or, a wolfstar, jegulus/sunseeker, and rosekiller au feat. highschool drama, plants, licorice, and bands

[roppongi-division]

Kai's Thoughts on Kobe Division

Ren Nakashima

"Ren? Yeah, I know him. I first met him when his music agent brought him into the studio one day. I had to admit, at first, I thought he was going to be just another dime a dozen idol that would try to release one hit and then call it quits later when he found out that the pressure was too much for him. ...Hey, I've been in the music business a long, long time. I've seen plenty of these types of "musicians" come and go. They get it inside their heads that they can sing, probably because their friends gave them a big head or something. And then, when they finally make it out into the music world, they realize it's nothing like what they imagined and decide to run back home."

"Frankly, I'm glad they decide to leave before they waste mine or anyone else's time. Ren though? He wasn't like that. I don't know what it was, but something about him made me think that he may have what it takes. And guess what? He did. His first single, 'Psychotic' blew up quickly. After that, he asked me to help him produce his debut album, which I had no problem with."

"I'll admit, 'I Wanna Murder, Baby' wasn't what I had in mind for an album title, but I think it suited him rather well. He gives off rather dangerous vibes, and I think that suits his 'character' in music. Currently, he's working on his second album, which I'm also helping him to produce. It's coming along fairly well. All I have to say for the fans out there is it's going to be good."

"Aside from that, Ren is an okay guy. I mentioned that every musician has a certain... 'character' or a 'persona' that they like to adopt whenever they are on-stage, and Ren is no different. His persona when he isn't on stage is a lot more chill and laid-back. When we aren't doing music, he and I will often relax in the studio with a couple of beers or snacks and just chat about things. On stage, though? He becomes a lot more flirtatious and teasing, something that I know the female population loves. I don't know personally how Vox feels about it, but I've yet to hear him complaining, so..."

Max Soukoku

"I've met this young man a few times when I was Ren in the studio. 'Max', I think his name is. I have to admit, something about this young child seems... both wild and dangerous. Ren mentioned that he didn't have such a happy childhood, as his parents were highly abusive and lived in the woods away from civilization. I guess that explains his wild, wolf-like aura. Still, he has my sympathies for what it's worth."

Kaiji Sano

"I know Kaiji cause of Ren as well, though I've heard of him a few times when I had to DJ a few modeling shows. He's apparently quite popular because of his crossdressing style. I'll admit, I was surprised when Ren said that 'she' was actually a 'he'. I mean, not that there's anything wrong with that. You are who you are, and you like what you like. If anyone doesn't like or understand that, then that's their problem."

Lovesick

"I'll admit, when Ren told me that he was entering the D.R.B., I was surprised. He didn't say whether Chuohku forced him, or if he entered voluntarily. He just said that there was 'someone he had to meet there'. I didn't understood what he meant by that, and I didn't ask. It was his business, after all. When I told him that I, myself, was entering the tournament as well though, it was his turn to be surprised."

"We both knew that eventually we'd have to face one another, but we both stated that there'd be no hard feelings over who wins or loses, though he stated he wouldn't go easy on me just cause we were friends. ...I hate to admit it, but I'm actually looking forward to it."

[avernusfuries]

"If it's all the same to you, the House of Hope looked just about as empty as Cazador's palace does the last we've been to it. I'm fairly certain that Halsik fellow wouldn't mind terribly letting us through... And with my newfound talents, I can be incredibly persuasive when I want to, my love. Even more so than before." (have an ascended vampire boyfriend making plans with the love of his life after this thing ♡)

Once upon a time, Karlach had learned what it had meant to love him. She understood him in a way that some never could. Not completely. She knew a thing about unwilling servitude, and though both experiences had been entirely different from one another, they had been as equally as brutal. She had wondered, in the aftermath of his ascension, if she would have to learn to love him all over again. A little differently. The fact that he would to Avernus with her with barely a second thought, and stall his power grab on the throat of the city to ensure that she wasn't alone, proved to her that he was still the same man she fell in love with.

Different, but the same. He no longer carried his fear like dead weight on his shoulders, his stalk more proud and a glint in his eye that she imagined he might've had long before the grips of immorality and the shitstorm that came after it had taken it from him. Karlach loved this version of him too. They would be as devoted to one another as two people could truly be, and in Avernus ... Well, that was as rare as teeth on an owl bear or tits on a fish.

A part of her wished that she could thank him properly, and in her own way, she did. She did in the I love yous and the viciousness of battle when she was in the heat of it, when her body took hits meant for him and utilised that pain and turned it into anger. Karlach wouldn't have to worry about her old heart failing her, because there... here she was in her element. He was a quick learner. Would use his newfound powers to strike fear into the hearts of any that crossed the path of the terrible twosome, and fuck, had they fought.

Zariel would hardly grant them a moment's peace, and Karlach and Astarion would be formidable foes for they had the one thing her best soldiers couldn't replicate: a bond and synergy that was more than head-deep, it was webbed and threaded throughout the both of them in a way that no amount of burning, scars, or near-death experiences couldn't kick. Suddenly, very suddenly, the looming threat of the hell didn't seem so bad. Dread was briefly replaced with a girlish sort of excitement that made her tingly all over.

As much as she wanted to give him an easy life, and to love him how he deserved to be loved, it was not in the cards for them. Instead, they had an entire lifetime by each others' sides.

Fuck, they would make such a good team.

She had never put much thought into what would've happened to the House of Hope after they had run it through. It would longer held the same busyness in the absence of Raphael himself ( good riddance, Karlach thought! Fucker got what was coming to him! ). It was a stroke of genius at its finest, and Karlach could have fucking kissed him. Almost did, too, before she caught herself. Karlach let out a small bark of laughter. "Gods, I never even thought about that place. Burnt it out, after that stupid fucking song got stuck in my head."

It was far enough away that Karlach and Astarion would have a moment where they could recoup and recover when the need arised, and with devils enjoying the privacy of their own homes ... It would be exactly what they needed.

"And I know a thing or two about those persuasive talents of yours. Fell victim to them a time or two." A pause. "In a good way, I mean. You're good with your words. If they don't work, I can scare Helsik into giving us the run of the place, don't you worry."

[minniepetals]

Rose & Thorns: 09

— summary: a lone rose, a little broken, until Jungkook came along and the two of you saved each other. and in doing so, Jungkook showed you a world where he shared with his six other mates.

— pairing: dragon!bts x reader

— genre: fluff / slight angst / poly!au / fantasy!au / dragon!au

— word count: 8.3k

— warnings: none

╰ part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 / part 6 / part 7 / part 8 / part 9 / part 10

"Hi there."

Just two single words are uttered from your lips and Jungkook is reminded of everything that has happened from the very first moment you spoke those exact first words to him.

He remembered those eyes of yours, so lost, so lonely, yet still having that kindness within to try and reach out a hand in order to ease his pain even if it meant just a small dose. Little did you know you'd end up as a true keeper of the dragons, lover to the seven princes of the East Sky and Mountains. But knowing the rewards, in the end, had never been anything you were seeking for at the time, and his heart warmed at the single reminder of how truly kind your heart is. After all, before you could even come to that moment of happiness with them all, you had to face serious consequences all because of that kind heart of yours.

Looking back on it, Jungkook only wished he could have dealt with it all in a better sense. If he were there for you like you were always for him, if he had gotten to his lovers a little sooner to make them see that nothing about you had been false, if he had been there through your pains and tears, maybe you could have reached that dream of freedom and happiness so much quicker.

"Jungkook?" Yet no matter what he thought, you were always there gracing him a sweet smile with such precious eyes that he knew he would forever hold dearly to.

"Back from taking care of the little whelps?" He asked, driving his thoughts away from the memories in order to look at what was in front of him instead. Jungkook knew he couldn't keep dwelling on the past no matter how much it had hurt him. Because here you were, lips curled into a brighter smile and he knew then that no matter what he thought, you'd never blame him for anything.

But perhaps that was what was hurting him even more.

You walked into the castle, feet having light bounces to them with a basket full of laundry. "I'm fairly certain Namjoon will hold an apprentice ceremony for Haeun soon. Who do you suppose her mentor will be?"

He grabbed you by the arm to pull you back in front of him before you could walk right past him without a second thought, surprising you just a bit.

"I'm sure Namjoon will make a wise decision on that but," the young dragon drew both his hands to hold you firmly by the shoulders as he expressed a disappointed face, "don't you think you're forgetting about someone else first?"

You giggled under his adorable pout. "Don't you have to get ready for the afternoon hunting patrol soon?" You reminded him, causing him to let out a grunt.

"Why is it that Taehyung and Seokjin are the ones to have you by their sides every day? Why can't it be me?"

"Kook," you laugh, "you know your hyungs would never let me go out there to support the patrols. For one, it can be dangerous especially for a simple human like me, and two, I don't have a clue on what to do during a patrol."

He sighed, allowing his hands to drop by his side again. "It's unfair. Sometimes I wish I wasn't a warrior."

"Don't say that. The clan has both you and Hoseok to keep us protected and that is something I would never want to take away from you."

"I know. I just want to spend more time with you" He looked up to meet your gaze again. "But for now this will do." Without any warning, he leaned in to give you a quick kiss to your lips, causing your cheeks to brighten in an instant as he strolled away with a giggle, knowing exactly what your expression would show without even looking.

You were too adorable for your own good.

.

.

"Have you ever had scented candles before?"

On one of the rarer days when you were free from your duties and didn't have the little whelps demanding for your attention almost every second you turned your head and Seokjin was well on his own, you accompanied Jimin in the lonely dungeons as he made his rounds as head of the guards, making small talks ever so often.

There weren't many prisoners locked up for their bad deeds just as the time you spent there a prisoner yourself so you knew Jimin often got lonely making his rounds all alone each time. Taking that into consideration, you weren't going to let the opportunity of your free time be spent doing nothing.

"Scented candles?" You tilted your head slightly to the side with innocent eyes that always got him every time and Jimin chuckled lightly after dropping his clipboard on a table from finishing his rounds with you by his side and turning to elsewhere. "I've heard of them before but they don't necessarily exist around here do they?"

"They don't but there are tales of the scented candles being of great help to be of comfort for anyone in need." Your eyes widened at his words, feeling quite intrigued, and when Jimin turned back around with a few things in hand, your breath hitches. "The first person that came into mind was you when I heard about them," he told you with bright eyes smiling as he brought them on over towards the table at the center of the room. You followed him curiously, rounding yourself to stand beside him as he displayed the candles for you. "So I had one of our traveler dragons to bring them back when they had the time."

"Jimin..." You felt so touched by his kind thoughts for you you almost didn't know what to say towards the sweet gesture. But when he graced you with a tender smile upon your gaze on him, you were sure he understood your thankfulness towards him.

"If only we had these at the time when you were our prisoner." His face fell with slight dejection but you were quick to shake your head lightly.

"Having you to help me then was more than enough, Jimin, I promise. Then again," thinking back to that time, you giggled upon the memories, "would you guys have really wasted such precious things on me at the time?"

He sighed. "I'm glad we can joke about it now but looking back at it, we were so horribly rude to you I can't believe I let my emotions get the best of me."

"You were just worried for the little one."

He chuckled upon your words with a tousle to your hair. "I don't think Jungkook would appreciate someone smaller than him calling him the little one."

You gave him a pout. "And why not? You do it to him all the time."

"Because I'm his hyung. Though he does often tease me about it from time to time." You giggled knowingly, already picturing their small bickering when it came to the two of them and their banters. Having seen that, Jimin smiled from where he stood beside you and brought his hand behind your head in order to pull you close and place a sweet kiss on your forehead, surprising you and making your cheeks flare up at the sudden gesture without warning. He found it cute how you had yet to get used to their kisses whether unexpected or not but returned his eyes to the candles despite the shocking state you were still in.

"Shall we try one of them?"

With his question, you blinked in a daze before shaking your head to return to the subject, and with your cheeks still slightly flushed, your eyes darted back to the candles laying on the table. "There are so many different kinds," you observed with a slightly opened mouth of astonishment to which Jimin found adorable.

"I didn't know what kind of scent you'd prefer so I got the dragon to get a couple different kinds."

"Lots of them are flowery scents," you beamed under the lowlights of the dungeon as you went on to pick up the candles in order to observe them up close. Pulling them up close to your nose, you waft at them in order to get a sense of how each of them smelt, your expressions clearly pleased each time you got a new scent to try as Jimin simply stood there watching you, happiness blooming in his chest at just the sight of you so content. "They all smell so great even without it lit up."

Your face fell with furrowed brows as you stared at each of the candles, having a hard time choosing which one to try first and Jimin let out a laugh. "You're so cute," he said. "We can try every one of them now if you still have time to spare."

"I have all the time to spare!" You exclaimed almost a little too happy for someone who had come in the dungeons declaring the desire to help. But he knew that was just the way you were and for that alone, Jimin wasn't at all dissatisfied by it.

"Well then, since you're having a hard time choosing which one to try first, just close your eyes and choose."

"Good idea!"

Upon Jimin's suggestion, you quickly closed your eyes and hovered your hand over the candles, blindly searching over each one before you finally settled with the one to the far right. With that, you opened your eyes again and held that one up.

"Lavender," the dragon beside you stated.

"Lavender's wonderful!" You were quick to say with your eyes lighting up at the chosen one. "It helps relieve stress and anxiety," you let him know and his brows furrowed a little at your words.

"Are you having trouble, little one?" He asked, concerned.

"Oh no, not me," you quickly said with a shake of your head. "I want to share this with Namjoon because I know being a leader to a clan isn't always the easiest. He comes home later than every one of us after all and most times I'm already asleep by then. I haven't seen him around lately so I'm a little worried."

His eyes softened at your innocent kindness that never seemed to ever leave your heart no matter what and for that alone, Jimin almost believed that he was falling in love all over again. "We're so lucky to have you by our side."

You looked up at him and gave him a humble shake of your head. "It's the other way around," you smiled. "Do you think he'll appreciate it? Oh, but you got these for me as gifts."

"Don't worry, it's always best to share gifts like these with each other," he said while gently stroking your head. "I know Namjoon will be more than happy to receive this."

"Then shall we also choose candles for the others as well? I think it would be really incredible to build a storage room for scented candles so that whenever one of us needs it, we can always—"

"Before that."

"Hm?"

Innocently, you looked up from the candles to meet Jimin's gaze only to have your lips captured in a sweet kiss, leaving your breath to hitch and your eyes to widen as you froze right there at the unexpected kiss.

Jimin leaned away just enough to give you some space with a chuckle. "Your reactions will always please me."

"J-Jimin!"

"But," his brows furrowing slightly, he brought his hand over to slowly swipe his thumb along his lip as you simply stood there, staring at those plump lips of his, not knowing what to do, "I want more, little one."

"J.." Your cheeks brightened even more as your eyes were quick to avert to the ground upon meeting his eyes, causing him to let out another throaty chuckle.

"I love you."

He found it amusing in the way your face only seemed to flush even more each time he did and said something. Your eyes were shaking, not knowing where to look, and he was sure your head was swarming with thoughts of how to respond to him. Surely you were panicking upon whether to return those sweet three words or not and it brought a tug at the corner of his lips.

"Well?" He raised a brow, waiting for your permission.

You bit your lip, still contemplating, but Jimin went on to take the lavender-scented candle away from your grasp to place it back onto the table as he inched towards you in a sly manner.

"I..." You opened your mouth shyly.

"Yes?" He urged you on.

"I-I..." You stepped back out of panic but he followed right away. "Well..um..."

"Hm?"

Bravely, you looked up to meet his eyes head-on and Jimin smirked, satisfied with that. But still, he waited to hear your words and despite how slow you were with it, hearing it made him happy nonetheless.

"I love you too." You told him and he smiled, letting his hand trail down your face in a gentle possessive manner before leaning in and pressing his sweet lips to your own.

It's a gentle kiss like the gentleman he is and not long after your thoughts are filled with him and him alone.

.

.

"I can't wait to become an apprentice! I just know prince Namjoon will choose the perfect one for me!"

You giggled fondly at the little dragoness who sat beside you helping you with your duties as the two of you fold the blankets for the whelps together. "But before that, you will have to let him know what you want to be first, right?"

"Ah," she said, almost as if she had forgotten about the beginning steps first.

"Well?" You urged her on. "What would you like to be as part of the clan?"

She looked away thinking, her hands coming down to a stop on top of the white blanket that laid on her lap, her thoughts going on to stray away to the different duties every dragon has as a member of the clan.

"Unnie how did you choose what you wanted to do?" She asked you instead of answering, her decisions still unclear.

"Well," you started, ready to help her to try and decide, "I chose to be both Seokjin's underling and helping out with the whelps because I love helping. I guess it was easy to decide because, for one, I enjoy taking care of the whelps' needs, and two, I'm used to the herbs and remedies as I've often had to learn them myself without relying on others to help me heal when I needed it. Plus it comes in handy when the princes need to be tended to."

"You don't like just watching on the sideline and would rather be of help, huh?"

You nodded with a smile. "Tending to them makes me feel useful. I can protect them in that sense while they help to protect the clan as warriors themselves. I'd hate to just stand back and watch them in pain, not knowing how to help them. It'd feel worse than anything"

Haeun broke into a beaming smile at your answer. "Unnie, that sounds just like you."

You chuckled at her words and went on to tousle her hair. "You'll find your purpose one day soon. Take your time, no one is rushing you."

"Oh!" She let out a cute little gasp. "What if I worked as a caretaker as well? That way I can be of more help here in the roosts!"

"That sounds—"

"No."

The two of you turned at the voice to find Taehyung walking up with a slightly displeased expression as he handed little Kihyun to Haeun before shamelessly pulling you against his chest right in front of the kids.

"T-Taehyung!" You quickly gasped and were ready to push him away at the unexpected gesture. Only he wasn't going to let you go.

"You already spend too much time with my princess, you can't keep taking her away from me. I'm supposed to be the one who spends more time with her than anyone else, Haeun!"

You couldn't believe this was the reason for his refusal of Haeun's help but rather than taking him seriously, the dragoness let out an exasperated sigh as she stood from her spot with Kihyun in hand before purposely sticking her tongue out at the prince. "Sucks to be you then, my prince, because unnie likes me more than you anyways!"

He let out a dramatic gasp with the grip around you only tightening. "How dare you say such lies."

Yet she made no comebacks and simply ran away before Taehyung could scold her anymore.

You giggled at their little banter and turned around to face your lover with a sigh. "I would appreciate it if you kept the affections to a minimum in front of the little ones."

"Why should I? Those little dragons are already trying to steal you away. I'm just marking my territory so they know not to steal someone else's mate, especially one that belongs to a prince."

"You know they're just playing around."

"That's what they'd like you to think, those mischievous little brats."

You burst out laughing at how ridiculous he was, jealous of the little dragons and even having quite the serious pout plastered upon his face. You didn't know what to expect walking into the relationship but even so, everything had been so well you were glad to be able to laugh and smile along their sides no matter how many times you'd get flustered by the things they did.

Frowning at you for not taking him seriously, Taehyung grabbed a hold of your face in both his large palms and brought himself right in front of you, making your laughter cease almost instantly.

"Is it fun making me jealous?" The prince asked with a raised brow, suddenly giving you a deadpanned look you weren't sure what to think. "Hm, princess?"

Your eyes panned away from his out of panic, already afraid to be caught by the poor little dragons in case they stumbled upon the two of you. "Tae—"

"I'm right in front of you yet you're focusing on something else?"

"If the whelps catch us like this, I—" He brought your face forcibly back to face him again with a displeased expression that is quick to bring your voice quiet all over again. "Tae..." Seeing him like that was a little surprising to you. After all, despite the many months spent in the dragon clan, there was still so much you had yet to know of including how the princes would act as your lovers, and now that you were with them, it still felt a little unbelievable they would feel such love and possessiveness over you.

Maybe that was just the nature of dragons. Just as you've heard stories of them being quite possessive with their treasures, perhaps mating was just as if not more important.

Your faces were so close you were sure Taehyung could feel the heat of your cheeks against his palm. It made you even shyer so you looked away, not brave enough to keep eye contact for much longer, and just for that, he let out a knowing chuckle.

"You're so cute." His voice was low, quiet. "I don't want anyone else to see this side to you, princess. You're ours after all, aren't you?"

You ignored his words in an attempt to hide your embarrassment. "Don't you think, um...you're being a little too brave doing this right here?"

"I'm sure Haeun's got us covered."

"That's not—!" You grunted. "We can't let her watch the whelps all alone, you know that."

"Eh," he shrugged, not caring one bit, "she's a good kid. She'll take care of it. In the meantime—"

"Noona!!"

You were quick to gasp and pushed Taehyung away as soon as you heard the young voice calling your name. "Do you need something, Minho?" You asked, turning around as the little one ran up to you while you both ignored the cry of agony and frustration falling out of Taehyung's lips as he leaned back into one of the beds of the whelps, holding his face against his palm at the missed opportunity that was now ripped away from him.

"Noona I wanna play with you!" The little dragon exclaimed with a bright innocent grin plastered on his face but Taehyung knew it was anything but. As if to provoke the prince further, he grabbed ahold of your hands and dragged you off, not even sparing Taehyung a single glance, knowing fully well what he had just done.

.

.

"Y/N."

"Namjoon!" He saw you quick on your little feet as you ran up to him with a beaming smile that was just enough to slowly ease the weights resting on his shoulders. But he knew it wouldn't last forever despite wanting to keep seeing that precious smile of yours even if it meant for just one whole night, dreading for the time that was coming. "I was just looking around for you!"

He gave you a tender smile as he drew his hand along your face, stroking it gently. "Did you need me for something, dear one?"

"Mhm!" You took his hand, ready to run off. "Come here, I—"

But Namjoon pulled you back to stand right before him again, he himself not having moved one inch despite you just about to drag him away. "Can it wait?" He said, causing your smile to fall with a slight concern.

"Oh. Are you busy?"

He hated doing that to you. "I was just about to have Yoongi call for a clan meeting."

"Ah," you said, nodding. "Then I will wait for you in—"

"Actually."

"Hm?"

"I want you to attend the meeting."

That took you by surprise as your eyes widened a little, totally unaware that Namjoon would ask you to attend a clan meeting. Usually, he would have all the princes and his most trusted dragons together for a meeting first before letting the rest know of any news that would be important to announce. You've never attended any meetings before and there hadn't been one for a while so surely the things he had to discuss had to be important, right? So why would he ask you to attend?

Seeing the confusion written on your face, Namjoon began to explain. "You're our Keeper now, remember?" He said, reminding you of the ceremony that had taken place just a few weeks ago. "Must I keep reminding you that you are now very important to the dragon clans?"

"Well..." They've mentioned that but you have yet to know what exactly that title meant for you. "I haven't exactly done much, have I?"

"I know," he nodded, understanding. "Truthfully none of us truly understands how a human would prepare for this role but I need you to begin seeing this title as your new duty. I know you have the whelps to take care of and also work alongside Seokjin but being a Keeper will begin to take up the majority of your time now. I need you to be prepared for anything, Y/N."

"I..." The serious gaze he held for you made you understand how crucial it was but still, you couldn't find the answer as to why. "I don't understand."

Namjoon nodded again. "It is best to let everyone know first before you ask your questions." He took your hand and began leading you towards the one room you hadn't exactly been to before; the meeting hall. "But just know that from now on, the Keeper will be attending every meeting that is to be held."

Knowing your questions would be answered soon, you gave him a nod. "Okay."

The meeting hall was a grand hall that laid a large table right in the middle with twelve chairs surrounding it all together. Seeing it up close and personal itself, you could understand just how serious the meeting was going to be. Even Taehyung himself who had already taken his place towards one of the ends held a grim expression.

But upon seeing you walk in with Namjoon at your side, his face lit up just the slightest bit.

"You look tense," he joked as if trying to ease your nerves with his little jokes. "It's alright, princess," the dragon assured you with a soft smile as he held his hand out to offer you a seat beside him. You easily took his hand, allowing him to guide you to the chair beside him as the others began to file in.

Hoseok took his place on your other side with a grin. "First time here?" He asked almost flirtatiously and made you let out a giggle.

Not long after the meeting began.

"The three clans have gotten news of me declaring Y/N as Keeper of the Dragons." You could feel all eyes turning to you at the report that left Namjoon's lips and just for that, you felt a weird feeling drop within your stomach but you weren't sure exactly what you were supposed to feel.

Was it a good thing? Or not?

Weren't the Clans all connected in one way or another despite them ruling their own skies and mountains? Questions swarmed in your head and you were suddenly realizing just how much you didn't know about lots of things that were important to the clan.

Sensing your confusion, Namjoon began to explain. "There are four main clans. The East, the West, the North, and the South. The other clans that exist are the smaller clans that protect other areas that are not covered by the four major clans. The warriors live protecting our territories in order to maintain the lands that were given to us from the first beginning wars many years ago. We are allowed to go to war with any smaller clan to gain land if we wish to do so, but none of us are allowed to attack any of the major clans so that no one clan becomes one over the other and dictates the rest."

"Hence that's where gaining a Keeper poses a problem, doesn't it, my prince?"

You turned your head at the warrior that had spoken. "It..does?"

He sent you a conflicted expression. "Us major clans may not be allowed to attack the others to maintain order but there are other ways to gain power and look slightly better than the rest."

"And one way by doing that is having our ancestor warriors accept a Keeper into one of the clans," another warrior added.

You were posing a problem as a Keeper already? Just by existing? Did that mean you'd have to leave in order to not cause more problems and potentially be the reason the clans may go to war?

Seeing those worried brows furrowing, Seokjin turned back to Namjoon. "The clans have given you their answers, I am sure. What did they say?"

With Seokjin's question, the attention returned to the high prince once again.

"They will accept the Keeper as long as we grant them the permission to use her in the case of any major wars."

Jungkook abruptly stood up in protest. "No!" He said in a thunderous tone with a face filled with rage at the thought of even bringing you to the wars. "I will not allow anyone to use Y/N in any way shape or form even if it comes to our own wars."

"But the Keeper has her powers to protect herself and the ones beside her."

"Y/N doesn't know how to use her powers yet," he was quick to dismiss the thought.

Meanwhile, you look at Hoseok and Taehyung beside you with confusion at this so-called power of yours. You really possessed powers now? And as if reading your thoughts, the two of them gave you a silent nod both firmly to let you know that all of this was real.

"She can learn."

"And she will."

"Whether she learns it well or not does not mean I will let anyone take advantage of her and put her life at risk. Y/N's already gone through so much, you can't just expect her to suddenly be thrown into the middle of our clan's problems."

But you were the root of the problem so it only made sense. And you were sure you weren't the only one thinking that as you looked around the room, noticing the hesitation in the warrior's expressions as some of them felt conflicted on whether to voice their true opinion on the matter or not since they all knew you were the lover of the princes.

Sighing silently with worry, you spared a glance towards Namjoon who seemed to be the one in the most conflicted position. After all, as leader of the East Clan, he had to consider both sides to the problem while also needing to take in the other clan's words without dismissing it so easily.

As you sat there while the debate continued on, you realized that the only way the clan could have accepted you at all was to become a Keeper. That was the only position available to you as a human in order to be someone not only the East Clan could trust but the rest of the clans as well. Which also meant that this was Namjoon's way of protecting you. Because as Keeper, you were given the power to protect not just the people around you but yourself as well.

"Hyung." Jungkook turned back to Namjoon, wanting the leader to declare the words of declining the other clan's orders but you knew it wasn't going to be that easy of a decision.

The room fell silent again as the youngest of the prince addressed the leader who sat tall in his seat at the end of the table. His gaze remained grim with both his hands clasped together in front of him with silent thoughts swarming in his head.

It remained that way for a while, the room waiting for Namjoon to speak.

He closed his eyes for a second before sitting back tall against his seat and looking up to rest his gaze right on you. Your heart skipped a beat, not knowing what he was going to ask of you or if he had come up with a decision, and whatever it was, you knew you had to be prepared.

"Y/N," he called, voice uttered in a low octave.

"Yes?" You were almost too afraid of what his next words were going to be but this was Namjoon you were talking about. You knew you could trust him with your whole life. The two of you went through danger together, helped each other up, carried one another, and made it out alive in the end. You knew more than anyone that he wouldn't purposely lead you to danger. After all, even though he had hated you then, he still protected you from that great fall because he knew you were special to Jungkook.

If there was anyone you could trust, it would be Namjoon.

"The wars that the dragon clans may involve themselves in can be quite brutal," he told you. "There will be enemy dragons far more dangerous than the ones that had attacked both you and Seokjin. You have to, however, be rest assured that our own warriors are far stronger than you can ever imagine. I will do all that I can to negotiate with the other three clans but be prepared to know that you may be needed in one of the wars in the future."

"Namjoon—"

He held a hand up to silence Jungkook without ever diverting his gaze from you. "No dragon that belongs to the clans, whether that of the major clans or the smaller ones, will ever dare to harm you. Every dragon knows not to try and harm a Keeper who lives to protect them. So if and when the wars ever come, will you give your complete trust to us in due time just as the clans will do the same with you?"

Seeing that complete resolve in Namjoon's eyes which hides no lies upon his vow to keep you from harm's way, you knew your answer.

"More than anything, I will entrust my life to the clans."

Proud with your reply, Namjoon let himself give you a faint smile in return.

"This will mean the clans will want to meet her, won't they?" Jimin spoke up upon the possibility and returning to his serious expression once again, Namjoon gave a nod.

"The Keeper has much to learn then."

"That's right."

Customs and courtesies along with the history of the Clans and their origins. Adding along with your training as a Keeper, the need to protect the dragon clans. You had much to do but you knew running away from it wasn't going to happen so you sat there with a resolved look in your eyes, letting the dragons know that you were going to do it all if it meant protecting them.

They smiled knowingly, proud to have you as their Keeper.

.

.

"Can't sleep?"

Namjoon's eyes turned tender upon the sight of you joining him out on the balcony later that night. He held out a hand for you to take and you gladly accepted it with no protest, allowing him to bring you forward and wrap his arms around you to keep you warm from the night breeze.

It remained silent for a while with the two of you just basking in each other's warmth, comfortable with just the sound of the crickets chirping under the night sky filled with the light of the twinkling stars.

"I'm sorry," he whispered a moment later and you turned to look up at him with confusion.

"For what?"

"When I gave you the title as Keeper of the Dragons, I should have asked you about it all first instead of just deciding it all on my own," he told you with a grim expression resting on his face. "Now you're going to have to face some challenges that you weren't prepared for."

His voice was soft against the wind, but you could hear the guilt and heavy stress weighing against him, letting you know that he had been worrying about you with all of this now going on. The other three clans weren't going to give in to his negotiations that easily but Namjoon would be working hard just for the sake of you and for that you knew all you wanted to do at that moment was to ease his burdens.

"It's okay," you told him softly as you leaned against his chest to let him understand that you weren't blaming him for any of it. "You gave me a place in your clan and that is more than enough."

"Being a Keeper is not going to be easy on you. Whether it was the only title I could give you as a human or not, this will only make things harder on you."

You chuckled a little at those words. "You know more than anyone nothing has been easy for me in the first place."

"Exactly." He let out a sigh as his arms around you tightened with worry. "This isn't exactly helping."

"As a Keeper, no one can hurt me, right?"

"You're going to have to learn to defend and use your powers first."

"Mhm," you nodded. "And I will."

"I know you will Y/N, and I trust you with all that I have," he acknowledged without any doubt. "I know that despite the situation you're suddenly placed in, the burdens you will have to face as a Keeper, you won't let any of that get to you and will do all that you can do for the clan. But," he gave you a squeeze, holding you tighter as if to silently tell you how afraid he was knowing he had no choice but to send you away as a leader who had to make the best decisions for everyone, "truthfully I wanted to agree with Jungkook and straight-up refuse the thought of even involving you in any future wars. The little one knows you best. He's seen through it all, feels the most guilty out of any of us for not being able to protect you as well as we should have. And I know you don't blame him, none of us does, he was after all the one who fought so hard for your life. But because he had to go through that, Jungkook will be the one to suffer the most when we have to send you off to fight."

You understood that. You understood the fact that Jungkook's heart was so big he wanted to protect everyone he could with his power. He was there beside you, always feeling helpless he couldn't do much to help you in your situation knowing he had been less powerful than the rest of his hyungs, but even then, you would never blame him because none of it was his fault.

He was a kind, gentle, and loving dragon who refused to let any of his lovers get hurt. But you understood where Namjoon was coming from and knew this wasn't going to be easy at all.

"I will tell you this though," you looked up at the leader whose eyes were already on yours with a firm resolve in his eyes. "As the leader of the Eastern Clan and as your lover, I will not let anything happen to you no matter what we will face in the future. So can you place your faith in me and do your part knowing I will be standing right beside you in all of this?"

"Namjoon..." Dealing with the Clans and potentially needing to be used in some of the future wars would not be easy, you knew, but you also knew that you weren't going to be alone. So you gave him a firm nod, knowing more than anyone that you could trust him. "Of course."

He leaned in to place a kiss on your head. "That's all I need to hear."

.

.

The days grew longer and longer as you took your duties off as Seokjin's assistance and the caretaker of the whelps in order to begin your training as the true Keeper of the Dragons.

You were given a teacher who taught you the history of the Clans and common customs and courtesies to prepare you for the meeting of the other three clans and had to face a challenge in trying to understand how the previous Keeper had lived.

None of it was easy, knowing you would be alone throughout most of it because the dragons themselves had no idea of how to train someone with a position they've never had to face. So you spent most of your time in the large library mostly to yourself with lessons after lessons on the history of the Clans and the first Keeper of the Dragons.

Given the ability to wield the power to physically protect someone while having no idea how to use or control it was hard for a beginner like you, but you knew you couldn't give up so easily because this was now your duty. You couldn't let your clan down nor disappoint anyone.

Everyone believed in you, it was your duty to show them that you were capable of this position without any doubt.

If the other three clans blindly trusted in you to the point of potentially asking you for aid in future wars then you could not let them see you as a weak and vulnerable human who would make excuses on how hard it was. You had to prove yourself to everyone.

Not just your princes, not just your clan nor the other three clans, but to yourself as well.

You were going to face this head-on, knowing it was your duty to protect the dragons now as Keeper of the Dragons.

.

.

"Tired?"

You quickly shook your head as you headed back to the private chambers after another long day of studying. With a big smile plastered on your face, you knew you couldn't let them worry over you so much.

"I'm perfect!" You said to Yoongi who held on to a skeptical expression.

"Well that's true but," he held his hand up to stroke your hair with eyes that didn't blindly believe you so easily, "you know it's okay to say when you're tired, right? You have it very rough right now, after all. We can all see it."

"Well I'm a little tired," you admitted sheepishly, knowing you couldn't hide anything from them as he brought you in to hold you in his arms soon after. "But it's been going well, I promise."

"I don't doubt that." Seokjin came up from behind you to place a kiss on your head. When you looked up at him, his eyes were just as concerned as Yoongi's. "I know you're a smart girl who is stronger than anyone I've ever met, however, you must remember to not push yourself too hard."

"You often go to the extremes for others, that's why we're so worried, princess," Taehyung said.

"If it becomes too difficult to face this all on your own, you have to tell us," Jimin chimed in. "Preparing for battles is not easy but doing this as a Keeper is something beyond our own imaginations. We may not understand some things but we're right here for you, okay?"

"Once you're done with the first steps of knowing how to defend and use your powers as a Keeper, the next step is learning how we fight our wars."

"I'm sorry," Namjoon said after Hoseok, looking the most worried out of them all since he was the one to have given you the title. "This is a lot more than I thought it'd be."

"I promise I'm alright," you said with sincerity at their concern for you. You hated seeing them like that but you knew it was coming from a good place. "Learning to protect the Clans is a privilege. I'm honored to be a Keeper. I won't let you down."

"Y/N."

You turned to the sound of the last prince to speak and saw the way he stood a bit further from the rest of you, an unsettling uneasiness clear on his face as his brows furrowed while he refused to look at you at first. It was silent for a moment as you waited for Jungkook to speak.

When he finally managed to look up and meet your face, you could see how much this was affecting him and felt your heart drop at just the sight alone. Jungkook was so worried about you.

He held his hand out, eyes averting from yours again but still, you took it without hesitation, letting the youngest prince have his way with pulling you into his strong arms. You couldn't see it from where you stood just seconds ago but now that you were in his arms, you could feel the way he was trembling slightly as he held you.

"'Please," he whispered as he let his cheek rest against your head, "if it's too hard you have to let us know. You can't lie to us no matter what. If you don't want to do this anymore then just say the word and we'll take care of it. But I know that is not something you'd ever do because you are much too noble for that so please...please don't push yourself too hard for any of our sakes. If you go too far you'll hurt yourself. So this time, this time I won't let you get too far. I promise I'll uphold my words and protect you. So please rely on me. Okay?"

You knew to some extent that Jungkook worried the most out of everyone but hearing those words coming out of his mouth, feeling the slight trembling of his body, you knew how scared he was right now. So worried, so afraid.

He loved you so much so you knew you couldn't do something that would make him think you were only going to make things harder for yourself.

You stepped back just enough to face him again where you reached up to hold his face in your hand. His eyes were filled with so much grief you wished you could just take all those worries away in a blink of an eye. But it wasn't going to be that easy. Despite that, however, you knew you had to do something to ease the pain even if it meant a small dose.

"I promise, Jungkook. I won't go too far this time."

"Good." He said and buried his face against the crook of your neck, his breath shaky as he let out a sigh. "Good."

"How about this?" Witnessing that moment between the two of you, Namjoon spoke up. "You should take a break tomorrow. You've been working non-stop these past few weeks after all."

"Hm?" You turned to Namjoon with a slight confusion while Jungkook remained in your arms, refusing to let you go anytime soon. "But—"

"The clan haven't seen you in a while since you've been buried in the library almost every day since your training started. I'm sure they've missed you."

"That's right," Taehyung let out a sigh at just the reminder of the little whelps demanding him questions after questions on when they were ever going to see you again. "You know more than anyone how much those little whelps love you. They've been asking for you since the day you started your training and Haeun isn't making things any easier. She's gotten so grumpy I can't keep handling all of them on my own."

You laughed lightly upon the mention of the little ones, already picturing them complaining to Taehyung and bouncing around him for answers about you.

"Everyone knows you're working so hard right now," Yoongi stated with a firm nod. "You should take tomorrow to catch up on things and take things easy. They've all missed you."

"I suppose a day wouldn't hurt."

"Then it's settled." With that, Namjoon gave you a faint smile as he walked up to both you and Jungkook, giving you a kiss to your head before gently patting Jungkook's head. He looked up, still slightly upset about this whole thing. "Y/N's going to be okay," the leader vowed firmly. "Everyone's looking out for her."

"Mhm," you nodded with a smile. "So don't worry too much, okay?"

He took a moment to stare at the kind smile you gave him and seeing how sincere you both were, Jungkook began to look relieved as his face relaxed for the first time in a while. "Okay," he sighed with a small smile of his own. "I'm proud of you."

Your heart blossomed with love.

.

.

Two weeks later, you were to leave to meet the three clans of the North, South, and West.

Dressed in formal wear, you took a deep breath as you stared out at the view of the horizon from the mountain top, knowing this would be the first time you would be leaving the mountain and being gone for a while.

"Are you ready?" You turned at the voice of Hoseok who stood tall beside Namjoon as the two of them would be the ones to accompany you on the journey. Behind them stood the rest of the princes and the clan to bid their farewells and wait for your return. Scanning the crowd, you could see some faces of worry and decided to give them all your usual kind smile.

"I have Namjoon and Hoseok with me, you can all stop looking at me like I'm already going out for war," you said with a small laugh to lighten the dampened mood. "I will be alright," you give them the vow with confidence in order to ensure that they did not have to worry too much.

It seemed to have worked since many of their faces began to lighten up again.

"We will be waiting for your return."

"Please stay safe."

"Send word if anything goes wrong. We'll be ready for anything."

You laughed again. "You all worry too much."

"For good reason." Seokjin walked up looking slightly grumpy. "We're sending our Keeper away after all."

"They won't do anything to me, I'm just going to be meeting them so that they will know who the Keeper is," you reminded him.

"I'm surprised you can be so calm." Truthfully despite Jimin's words, you were quite worried but you knew you couldn't show that now. It wouldn't be the best thing to do knowing the clan themselves were already concerned. "You're so brave, little one."

"Mhm," you nodded at his words with a confident grin. "So trust me a little more, hm?"

"Stay safe, princess," Taehyung told you as he gently tousled your hair.

"I will."

Meeting both Namjoon and Hoseok's gaze, there seemed to be some sort of a silent conversation going on as Yoongi met their gazes before he turned to you with a small smile. "We'll be waiting for you."

"Mhm," you smiled.

"I love you," Jungkook whispered before turning to Namjoon and Hoseok. "You too," he said. "Be careful out there."

"Of course," Hoseok nodded.

"Shall we go? We must reach the Southern Clan before the sun sets." Upon those words of Namjoon's the clan tensed up again along with an odd feeling dropping along your stomach. But you knew you had to do this whether it was scary or not. It was important to the future of the clans after all.

Once both Namjoon and Hoseok transformed into their respective dragon forms, you gave the clan a formal bow of respect. "I shall return in time."

With that, you climbed onto Hoseok's back and the two of them took off riding into the sky, leaving the Eastern Dragon Clan behind.

[magic-human-bean]

Hey I just saw your cookie run g/t stuff and oh my gosh!!!! It’s such a fun concept to have a human walking around a world of tiny cookies and befriending some of them omg

Anyways!! If your asks are still open to this stuff, do you have any hcs involving the legendaries (excluding dragons)? I bet you have some fun ones!

Thank you so much!! Yes the concept of a human coming in contact with Earthbread is GROSSLY underrated and it makes me upset.

Now, I just need to say I'm extremely conflicted about the legendaries' relationship to the human world, because their origins are very very unclear (at least to me). Which is a shame because they ARE very interesting. I'll do my best though

Under the cut again.

Millennial Tree Cookie - So from my understanding, the world is fairly new to him. I think when he was last 'awake', it was long before humans were civilized, so I'm not sure he knows what a human is! But every form of life is almost like his own child, so he'd like to meet the human. He might be a little surprised at first, but I don't think a human would be enough to scare him. He'd enjoy talking to a friendly human, just don't tell him what humans have been doing, unless you want to break his heart :)

Wind Archer Cookie - The presence of a human in the forests of Earthbread does NOT please him. He will quickly demand that the human leaves. If the human doesn't, he won't hesitate to attack to chase them away. But if the human shows concern and good knowledge about the environment, he'll chill out... and he might even decide to help the human a little. But not too much. Tell him what humans have been doing, and he will vow to never let you leave Earthbread, fearing that you might come back with more humans...

Fire Spirit Cookie - He seems... fairly curious and fun-seeking. I think he'd like to meet a human, but probably mostly to mess with them for fun. He'll follow the human around and be a nuisance... but I think he might accidentally become attached to said human. Not that he'd ever admit it tho.

Frost Queen Cookie - Kind of like Wind Archer, a human's presence on Earthbread is a problem to her. Humans don't belong here. But she's not a killer, so she'll just try to help the human to find a way back to where they came from. She's not helping to be nice though, she's just doing what she must do.

Sea Fairy Cookie - I don't think she'd fear a human or bat an eye. The only thing that matters is the human's soul. I mean it really depends of how warm the human's heart is, probably, but in most cases, she'd take interest in the human, and ask to know their story.

Moonlight Cookie - She met the human in her dreams... she was perplexed at first, but then understood what it meant; cookies have a new ally. And that ally is not a cookie. Maybe one day she'll attempt to talk to the human, but for now, she's just happy that cookiekind has allies beyond the limits of Earthbread. It makes the outside world less scary.

Timekeeper Cookie - She's not impressed. She saw the birth of mankind and its undoing. However this is a situation she haven't seen before... humans and cookies weren't supposed to meet before MUCH later in history... This is indeed strange, and she will silently watch the shit go down, and enjoy the show.

Literally none of them would fear a human, that i'm almost certain.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote:

Hi, hope you're okay. Enfj 26/F. I have a dismissive avoidant attachment style. I dont always 'feel' positively in relationships or in situations where others would.

I would suggest that you explore attachment style with a qualified therapist, since it probably requires you to dig into your past to properly resolve the negative experiences that produced your unhealthy attachment style. This is not something that can be addressed in a blog post with a stranger.

A lot of my friends have been NF/NT types. But in retrospect I haven't felt emotionally fulfilled by much and now that I'm looking into potential partners it's starting to make things a little difficult. I do feel as though I've been relying heavily on Ni for the past 10 years or so and all my relationships have been shaped by that. What would you advise for me in this situation. I feel as though I know what I'm looking for in someone but that seems to be informed through Ni ideals.

You mention Ni "ideals", which I assume means you set up certain (unreasonable) expectations that lead you in the wrong direction. This is indeed a common ENFJ problem, however, I need you to give me an example of how the problem manifests for YOU in your life, not just in general.

I've been trying to work on my emotional awareness/intelligence through resources but I feel like I keep hitting a wall. I would really appreciate your advice.

Explain in more detail: What is the goal of working on emotional awareness/intelligence exactly? The solution should fit the problem. If the problem is Ni development, how is EI going to address that?

When I mentioned relationships, I meant friendships. I have never been in a romantic relationship before and my culture/family/values means I have to consider potential partners and will get chaperoned till I feel like pursuing someone properly. My family have been fairly supportive and more open than other people of my culture but I'm not doing very well because of confusion/ feeling emotionally numb. Thanks

It sounds to me that there is a problem in how you conceptualize relationships, namely, that people are just concepts to you. To put it simply, you treat people merely as objects to satisfy whatever needs/desires/goals/ideals you have. This means that your approach to relationships is quite egocentric, mostly focused on you and what you want. Can you work out why this approach to friendship doesn't work? If not, try to view it from their perspective.

Let's say someone tries to befriend you. They are warm, friendly, and charming even. Yet, when they talk, it's only focused on their ideas; when they ask questions, they're only looking for specific answers to launch their next point; when they listen, they only hear the few ideas that they are interested in and ignore the rest of what you said. How would it feel to you to talk to someone like that? You'd probably feel unseen and unheard.

When you treat people as concepts or objects or only a means to an end, you ignore their humanity. There is no feeling of connection because there is no acknowledgement of any feelings. You don't see or acknowledge how your behavior makes them feel. And when someone feels uncomfortable or even ill at ease with you, they don't have the mental capacity to see or acknowledge your feelings. As a result, there is a thick psychological wall between you.

Whether it's friendship or romance, a relationship can only start on the right foot when you come from a place of openness, trust, understanding, and giving -> the ingredients for love. You have to step up to give people what you hope to get in return. If you want to be heard, you have to listen. If you want to be understood, you have to understand. If you want to be loved, you have to give love. But you can't give to people just because you want something from them. That's merely a transaction, not love. You should give to someone because you appreciate who they are, you care about them and what happens to them, and you want to play an integral part in making them happy.

When you are dismissive and avoidant, you're not giving the love that you hope to get. Rather, you're actively running away from love because you fear the effect it might have on you. Improving EI would make a difference here because it would help you process your fears properly. If you grew up with dismissive or avoidant parents, it's likely that you're deeply afraid of being loved and thus aren't even able to accept love when it's offered to you. Why? Because, to you, love primarily means loss or rejection, so you've turned off your feelings to protect yourself from feeling hurt. You are basically caged by your fear. You must face your fears in order to overcome them. To be clear, this doesn't mean that you just open yourself up to everyone indiscriminately. It means that you have to be capable of opening up when the time is right, in order to grasp the opportunities for real friendship whenever they appear.

Everyone needs love. But wanting love is a somewhat different matter. Your ambivalence to love seems to be the problem. The Ni issue is only a method of avoidance. By looking for the "perfect" person to fit your ideal, you hope that they never trigger your deep-seated fears, and, therefore, you never have to confront the truth of yourself. You are deflecting and outsourcing the responsibility for resolving your fears to other people. It doesn't work because it is self-deception, merely pretending that the problem isn't there through inventing a person or a world that doesn't really exist. The price of using Ni in this unhealthy way is that you are detached from reality and thus never truly present with people, so how can you relate well with them? Your fear belongs to you. It is for you to take responsibility for resolving the obstacles that prevent you from opening up and giving of yourself to others.

Genuine question: Do you or don't you want love? Wanting something means that it's very important to you, so you must fully commit yourself to achieving it. You can't loiter on the sidelines, play mind games, or always have one foot out the door "just in case". When people see you doing an ambivalence dance, they won't have confidence that you'll be a true friend for them, so what would motivate them to stick with you? In short: If you want a good friend, the first thing you have to do is BE a good friend.

[ofpineapplesanddawns]

(I’m not certain if you are American or not, but I’m going to toss this in as a possible prompt anyway.)

I just sat through the Super Bowl tonight and it gave me an idea. In MoS, Bill is a big fan of American football (college ball in canon, but still…) It’s one of the few things he actively gets excited about. What if he tried to enthuse about American football to Alec? Maybe tried to get him to watch a game on tv. How would Alec respond?

I am American, haha. And I will admit, I do like a little college football (okay, only for one team, and that's cause I liked my college), though I personally like soccer better.

Oh gosh, let's see what I can make of this, haha.

I figure this is in the earlier days of their relationship, before they get married and stay in Broadchurch (I'm beginning to suspect all my one-shots have created a domestic au with these two), so Bill is still living between the UK and America until he settles down with Hardy.

On with the fic!

--

Hardy would be the first to tell you straight up that he was not a sports man. Maybe in his younger days as a child he could kick around a football with his classmates, but the whole thing never appealed to him outside of that.

Plus, just looking at him screamed he didn't even bother to watch sports in a pub, let alone in his own home.

But he was visiting Bill, feeling that he owed the man that much for how often he flew between his home in the states and his home with Hardy, and visiting meant watching American television.

In this case, an American football game.

"I just... I'm not getting any of this." He said after sitting quietly for what felt like hours, but was really just about forty minutes.

"What's not to get?" Bill asked, looking at him funny. "It's fairly simple once you watch how they play! See, they need to get the ball to the opposites side, either by going to the goal line or to get the ball through the goal post. Different plays can equal different points, yes?"

Bill then watched the screen, getting very excited about men in bulky uniforms and padding, running across the field with the ball in their hands. Which brings up a question.

"Why is it called football? They don't really use their feet to interact with it, not like with our football."

The doctor scoffed. "You'd be surprised how often you have to kick the ball when needed!"

"Shouldn't it be handball?"

"That's already a sport, Alec."

Hardy made a face and sat back against the sofa, crossing his arms. "I'm not getting this, Bill." But he seemed to be ignored as Bill leaned in as he watched, eyes wide with a building excitement as one of the players did, indeed, kick the ball and it flew through the air, right between the goal posts.

The detective jumped at the shout Bill let out. "Ha! There! Now the scores are even!" He then turned to Hardy, leaning back against the sofa as well.

"It's just a game, dear, no need to think too hard on it. It's fun!"

"I feel like I'd enjoy it more if I understood it a bit better."

Bill shrugged. "I guess that works for you. Look, it's not that hard to understand, I did just give you the basics, and you can just watch the screen, simple as that. Come on, turn off your brain a bit, just enjoy the game."

Hardy sighed, looking at his boyfriend. He was trying, he really was, but none of this made sense, and he was left so confused over who to even root for, it seemed Bill liked both teams, so he couldn't really just pick the one Bill liked most, he wasn't making it easy.

"I'm... trying." He admitted. "But I'm not really into sports, you know this. But I'll keep watching because I know it's making you happy."

And it was, he had seen Bill seem almost apprehensive about asking if Hardy wanted to join him in watching the game earlier in the day. Hardy, trying to be a good boyfriend, had said yes, even though he had no idea what he was expecting, he completely forgot Americans have their own version of football.

Bill looked at him, smiling just a little bit. "Thank you, that actually means a lot, Alec. Look, when this is over, we can do something you like, alright?"

"You don't have to."

"I know, but I know it would make you happy as well."

Alright, he'd put up with more of this, even if he probably wouldn't understand a thing still by the end of it.

[polarisbean]

Hear me out hear me out-

Remus Lupin was, apart from Pandora obviously, the only person who really understood Xenophilius. Because of this, they were quite close. Not as close as the Marauders but still.

Anyway

Also because of this, Remus learned about nargles. So, he could see them. He knew what they were and what they meant and stuff.

So

Fast forward to Luna's second year. It's 1993 and the DADA professor is none other than R. J. Lupin.

Luna - Are you sure it wasn't the nargles professor?

Remus - Yes, I'm fairly certain it wasn't nargles. It's not like them to steal people's clothes. It is a possibility though

Luna - You seem know a lot about nargles professor

Remus - Well... I can see them too, your just as sane as I am.

Now, fast forward to Luna's fourth year when Harry can see the thestrals.

"I can see them too, your just as sane as I am"

[justbutch]

How & why do you keep going? i'm butch and plain exhausted. Lifelong intolerance and bullying of my being, then my only butch friends all transitioned then this mess in lgbTQ everything, now i get constantly theythem'ed, and dating is shittier to top it off. COVID doesn't help but i just think about offing myself because i dont see a point at all in existing. To me butch lesbianism is a futile deluded joke at this point. We're nothing. Nothing meant to be sustainable. We're a mistake. Nonsense.

Hi there, I’m really sorry that you are feeling so low. Things can be really though sometimes, and like you say, the pandemic sure isn’t helping :/

I know what you mean; it is hard to keep going when it feels like your way of existing seems fundamentally incompatible with people’s worldview. Of course, butch lesbians have never been particularly well accepted in society, but the additional homophobia and marginalization of butch women within “queer” spaces is particularly depressing. And even in somewhat accepting spaces, it can get just plain lonely. It’s not easy to feel so left behind.

As for why & how I keep going, there are actually quite a few reasons:

The main one is: there is more to life than gender. Don’t get me wrong, both my sexuality and the shit I experienced due to being female matter to me, and not being able to talk about this completely openly with people and therefore never being really understood even by people who matter to me is actually quite painful. However, that doesn’t erase the good things in my life. I get to pet cats and float in rivers. I get to spend time with people I like (less so now of course, but this is not forever). I keep my plants alive (or at least I try to). I try to be kind and to make the world a slightly better place. Sometimes, when I feel a bit better, I make art. Sometimes I walk around in the woods until I can’t see any other people anymore. No gender there, just trees and birds and the smell of moss. This is probably something where I have a bit of an advantage from being somewhat older, but I also have some straight normie friends whose opinions on queer stuff tend to range from “of course trans people are valid, but saying that gender identity changes your sex is kinda dumb” over “I just don’t understand any of this weird stuff” to “if she talks about her girldick one more time I’m gonna scream”. They do not relate to my constant ruminations on gender identity or my frustration with queer homophobia, but we can hang out and make pizza, play board games and complain about the general state of the world…and I can even talk about being female without being accused of causing people’s suicide. That helps.

I think there is worth in the butch identity. I know that it’s not the cool thing at the moment, especially of you add “woman” to butch. It’s old-fashioned and not in line with many branches of gender ideology and maybe people do think I’m a joke, but that’s on them. I am female and I am like this and that is okay; I do not need to change anything about myself just to be. I do not need to perform nor curate how other people perceive me. While womanhood exists, it will have to make space to include me. There is both revolution and a certain peace in that thought.

Things will not stay like this forever, so much is certain. Having followed the discourse at least peripherally for quite a while now, things have already changed a lot, rather rapidly, over the last few years and seeing the multiple contradictions in opinions even within queer spaces it’s highly unlikely that we have somehow now reached a stable equilibrium. Of course, this does not necessarily mean that things will change for the better (just look at the last few years), but it’s also not a given that it won’t. Maybe we can contribute to that, but I’m definitely sticking around to see what happens.

As lonely as it can feel sometimes, especially with a lot of my former role models recently coming out as not-really-a-women-and-definitely-not-an-icky-terfy-homo-lesbian, we are not, in fact, the last two butch women around. There might not be many of us, but butch lesbians are still a thing, both younger (often desisted or detransitioned) ones and older ones. There are lesbians not just surviving, but thriving away from mainstream queer spaces. There are people talking about the dysfunctional dynamics. There are people who are trying to rebuild community. There are people who understand, although it can take a lot of effort to find them.

I know how important it is for me to see other butches just…exist, so I want to be this person for other people. If I can show even one baby butch that it is possible and totally okay to be like this, that would be worth it.

None of this is really new. Homophobia has been around for a long time, and so has been the hatred of butches (or masculine female people in general), often even within lesbian spaces (radical feminism e.g. has some fairly nasty history there)…and butch lesbians still existed, whatever they may have called themselves at that time. Yes, the homophobia in the queer community is a particular betrayal and I don’t think I will ever get completely over that particular disappointment, but if hundreds of years of persecution didn’t stop people from being gay, neither will queer theory.

In many ways, it’s not like all the former butch women are truly gone. This doesn’t mean that there is no real loss there, there definitely is: of community, shared language and even shared experiences, because living your life as a trans man or nonbinary person is different from existing as a butch woman. But people don’t just stop being female/afab and homosexual when their identity changes and there is still a lot of overlap in experiences, especially when it comes to transmasc butches, FTM/butch cuspers and many nonbinary/agender lesbians. And while there are currently many people who really hate acknowledging that, there are also people who don’t (especially in private). It sucks that talking about this can be such a minefield and navigating the ever-changing rules regarding approved terminology and ideology can definitely be really stressful, but I still think that it is worth trying to build these bridges. Although I also think it’s also totally okay to draw back when needed for self-protection (I can’t be around surgery talk and every time I hear an enby say something along the lines of “I’m not a woman, I’m a human being” I want to scream).

When nothing else helps, there is always spite & anger. I am not going to let this homophobic bullshit be the end of me. That at least keeps me to going long enough to go back to the forest and smell some trees and stuff.

Hang in there! I really hope things will get easier again soon. But even while things are hard, I think it’s still worth it.

[x-wearethefuture-x]

😳 + it's a good thing that I haven't had the chance to be alone with you, Yewon. I don't trust myself when I'm with you, let it alone when we're alone in a bedroom.

@ofpearlsxgods // anonymous Send me 😳 + a confession anonymously to see my muse’s reaction!

Who didn’t trust themselves alone with her? And why? Were they afraid they’d hurt her? Or that she would hurt them? Or maybe they were afraid they’d get into an argument? Or something else awful like that? It wasn’t until that last part was said, however, that she finally understood what they meant, and her face flushed a soft shade of pink in embarrassment. (After all, what else might they be talking about when they mention being alone together in a bedroom, of all places?) It was also then that she was fairly certain of who was leaving her such a thing to think about, “I-If you are who I think you are...” She started bashfully, tucking her hair back behind her ear, “Then I want to say that... I trust you. Enough that I’d be happy for a chance to be alone with you. Even in a bedroom. Especially in a bedroom.” Ah... what was she saying? This sounded so awkward, didn’t it? And now she was even more embarrassed than she was a moment ago. She really wasn’t good at this, she hoped he would understand, though, “I trust you.”

[endcreditink]

Maid of Honor speech 2018

I'm very proud of this speech but did not execute it very well in person.

”Allison was my very first friend. Like in diapers together kind of first friend.

So I got stuck with the job of condensing 21 years of friendship into one fun and heartfelt toast.

Let me tell you it wasn’t easy.

I think my blood was 85% stress yesterday.

I scoured Pinterest looking for “maid of honor speech” templates.

Some said to talk about what the bride means to you.

Well, Allison is my ride or die. The kind of friend where we could go a few months without talking and just pick back up where we left off.

I knew no matter what I would always have her and would never have to pick between friends for a maid of honor for MY big day.

You see as soon as we understood what maid of honor meant we promised to play that role for one another.

Others suggested telling a fun story about the bride.

All I could think about was growing up on that concrete ledge at Santa Cali gon each year listening to our parents' gospel group sing.

If you don’t already know this Donny can play the piano like nobody’s business.

He passed those musical genes down to his kids.

I, however, wasn’t so lucky.

Another post prompted me to tell the story of when I met the groom.

That memory isn’t very clear but I think it was the day Allison got a new car and we met Adam to take it for a spin. I’m fairly certain Taco Bell was involved as well.

I wish I would of gotten to know Adam better before today but hey we have the rest of our lives to become close friends. Sorry dude, I’m Allison’s first love, you aren’t getting rid of me that easy.

But all of these points didn’t fully convey what I wanted to say. I found a poem that does though.

Get your tissues ready ladies and gents cus it sure made me cry. It reads

To the Perez family...

I pray for an awesome life and amazing marriage filled with the best this world has to offer. I can’t wait to see the perfect plan God has in store for both of you.

To these beautiful newlyweds. We all love you so much!”

[ante--meridiem]

(You don't have to answer if this is too personal btw) It's just that I've known for about two years that I'm probably-mostly a lesbian, but I never had someone to talk to about it seriously. I'm almost 19 now and never really tried to get involved with someone romantically because I don't want to weird anyone out or make them uncomfortable. And I know that doing stuff at my own pace is totally cool but sometimes I worry that I'm late to the game or something :/ What were your experiences?

Hi anon :). Don’t worry, it’s not too personal. (I mean, my answer is quite personal, but what is tumblr for if not over sharing with strangers on the internet? :P) I hope my experiences can help you, though if you’re looking for dating advice the most I can say is “don’t do what I did”.

I can empathise with a lot in this ask. I realised that I was gay at about the same time as you, and it felt late to me as well - but going by what I've heard from other lesbians I've talked to, I think it's actually quite average. (I think the reason it feels late to us is because most "common knowledge" about LGBTQ stuff tends to focus on gay men, who just anecdotally seem to realise a lot earlier on average). I'm still not 100% confident in my sexuality - I settled on "lesbian" more by process of elimination than anything else. The only thing I'm mostly certain of is that I'm not straight - I could potentially be wrong about liking girls, or about not liking guys, but there is no way that I'm attracted to men more than to women.

Extensive discussion of my personal life below, feel free to read if you want to.

Getting to identify as a lesbian was a really long, confusing process for a few reasons. I'm the kind of person who tends to overintellectualise and overrationalise my feelings, so it was far too easy for me to convince myself that I felt the things I "should" feel. My immediate environment was never intensely homophobic (...extended family is a different matter, I'm still not out to them because I'm pretty sure my grandmother would react very badly based on arguments we've had about LGBTQ rights in the past), but the possibility of being anything other than straight just wasn't discussed, other than in a "that's weird and inappropriate for children" kind of way, so I ended up with the impression that being gay is such an unusual and distinct experience that it would be impossible not to know if you were. 

In retrospect, there were a some feelings I had for girls when I was younger that would probably count as crushes/puppy love (I made a girl a Valentines Day card when I was 11, for God's sake, and in my naive obliviousness didn't think anything of it) but somehow I never connected that feeling of intense, nervous admiration to what a crush was supposed to feel like. I managed to think my way into believing I liked various boys and had a tendency to confuse mutual respect for romantic love. (Those "crushes" made me sure for a while that I couldn't be gay, because I liked boys, didn't I? It's honestly hard for me to pick out a detail that proves they were fake, even now, but the main thing that stands out is I preferred talking about how much I liked them over actually talking to them.) Later, I had a phase where I rationalised that romantic love was a lie and indistinguishable from platonic love, and I shouldn’t care so much about it - even though part of me very much cared. 

I can pretty much split my realisation into two parts; realising I wasn't attracted to men and realising I was attracted to women. Both parts were difficult, but in their own way. The easiest one (or maybe I should say "simplest" one, since while it was fairly obvious it wasn't particularly easy emotionally - it made me feel even more weird and out of place, which I’d already felt for other reasons) was realising I wasn't sexually attracted to men - except that at the time, I just parsed it as not being interested in sex generally. Somehow the possibility of sex that didn't involve men at all wasn't something I was really aware of. My friends would talk about how attractive various men were, and I'd just feel extremely confused and like I was missing something. Being the pretentious person I was I rationalised it as "sex is meaningless anyway, all I really care about is love". 

The other half was much more confusing, but happened in a pretty cliché way - I fell in love with a friend. I can't actually say how long it took me to realise that because I'd always seen her differently from my other friends, but I put it down to admiration, jealousy and wishing I could be her. I kind of assumed that she was just so special that everyone must feel that way around her. A moment that stands out is when she was telling me about various guys who'd asked her out, and I started feeling weirdly jealous about it but also found myself thinking well I can't blame them, if I were a guy I'd want to date her too. From there it took about a year to realise that the "if I were a guy" clause wasn't necessary. It felt completely different from my other “crushes” - she made me feel happy more than nervous, I wanted things to stay just between us instead of wanting to share them with everyone, she popped into my head unasked for instead of me making myself think about her. I was hyperaware of her presence and couldn’t stop thinking about how beautiful she was - which had never happened with a guy.

At that point I started calling myself biromantic asexual (terms I found on the internet and never actually used in real life - the most I told anyone was that I was bi, which it still took a long time to be willing to do - I think I was seventeen by the time I actually told anyone I might be bi), but I was still very uncertain of it. For a long time I told myself that I didn't really like girls, I just liked her. I was also completely in denial that my attraction had any physical component at all, because I felt like that would make it less "pure" and I was terrified of being creepy. I tried asking my parents for advice, but they insisted that admiring your friends a lot was normal and didn't mean anything, and I couldn't explain how I knew that this was different. (It didn't help that they believed the only difference between friendship and romance is physical attraction, and I couldn’t define any other difference even though I knew there was one). My mom was hesitant because it would be harder for me if I wasn’t straight, which... I know she meant well, but it came off like she thought I was choosing to overcomplicate my life, something I internalised and that made me second-guess things even more.

Even once I accepted that I was probably bi, a part of me felt certain I would end up with a man, but I wasn’t happy about it - every time I thought about it, I felt resentful. It was the kind of thing that felt like a bad kind of inevitability. I was also scared to tell the friend in question I liked her, because the pessimistic part of me felt certain she was straight even though she’d hinted otherwise. Eventually I did though, but only when she was about to move away to study in university, and because I was afraid of freaking her out I decided to phrase it in past tense and downplay it (”I used to kind of have a crush on you”). When she took it well, I gained the courage to say I still liked her, but had been afraid to say anything because I was afraid of how she’d react. She told me I should have told her sooner, that gender didn’t matter to her and I shouldn’t have assumed she’d reject me. We spent the next few months exchanging semi-flirtatious messages and she said she might consider dating me some day, which came to a head when I realised she didn’t really mean that. I asked her to just straight up reject me - which she did. 

During all this time, I’d come to be very close friends with a guy. He understood me better than almost anyone except the friend I liked (or so I thought at the time) and I felt like I could tell him anything. He asked me out (knowing about the other friend who I was definitely not over) and I accepted, for all the wrong reasons - because it was flattering to be liked, because I was afraid no-one else would like me, because I was trying to get over her and didn’t want to be alone, and because I couldn’t find a reason not to. I told him I thought I might be asexual, but agreed to physical intimacy (not sex, mind you, just kissing and cuddling, but it was enough for me to feel between bored and uncomfortable) anyway, for a lot of the same wrong reasons. 

The relationship wasn’t bad per se, at least at first, but it felt - empty. Like ticking off the boxes of what a healthy relationship should be. We had deep, intimate conversations but it never felt like enough. At first, I tried pushing him for more - more depth, more intensity - because I was annoyed with what felt like complacency from him. I couldn’t understand how he could be satisfied - even happy - with what we had. I felt like I was doing something wrong, like I didn’t know how to love right. The first time I tried to break up with him was after I’d introduced him to my former crush, and he noticed that as soon as she was around she had my full attention. I felt incredibly guilty, there was a lot of crying on both sides, but eventually we didn’t break up. The question came up again a few times - he tried to break up with me as well because he sensed I was being distant, and during this whole time, I started fantasising about being with various girls. This was when I started acknowledging that I might not be asexual after all. 

In the end, I decided to call myself a lesbian because it was the hard boundary I needed to draw in order to break off the relationship, and kept the label because nothing else seemed a better fit, but part of me still felt like I was faking it. (I once made a friend laugh by saying I had imposter syndrome about my sexuality). I was out to a few people - my closer friends, my parents and my English teacher - but only started being fully open about it once I went to university. I got involved in various LGBTQ communities and while I never felt I fit in especially well with the other people there, it did make the label feel less alien, to the point where I was comfortable casually referring to myself as gay. I even went on a few dates with a girl, but I could feel myself trying to force feelings that weren’t there again. I’d latched on to my sexuality as an explanation for why my last relationship went wrong, and I think I wanted to prove to myself that I could feel the right things if I were with someone of the right gender. 

After we decided we wouldn’t work out I decided to stop trying to force things. Right now, I’m very comfortable being single and think it’s best I stay that way until or unless I develop feelings for someone else naturally, though the thought of dating a girl someday makes me feel warm fluttery things in my stomach. (I do realise the chances I’ll just fall in love again without looking for it, and that she’ll be into girls and into me, are very small, but I don’t see a better option).  I’m also out to most people who are a regular presence in my life, extended family aside, and the label has stopped feeling just “good enough” and started actually feeling right.

[freedom-of-fanfic]

I'm kind of torn on the Mary Sue issue. On one hand, I don't care what anyone writes for their own amusement, but writing is still an art that does and should have standards for professionals. As someone who has degrees in writing and does it as a profession, it's a little insulting to be told that the work your poured tons of research and time into is on the same level as amateur self-insert fic. That's why I advocate for different standards for fandom vs pro work.

I feel you, anon. and I have a lot of respect for people like you who got degrees and write professionally, because words are held rather cheap with the internet being around and anyone who can get paid to write words impresses me to some degree. but:

 I’ve always felt like comparing fanfic and original fiction to be not exactly congruous? and 

I think Mary Sue suffers from maligning because she’s disproportionately evoked by the youngest/least experienced of writers.

this got … pretty long … so i’m dividing it up a little for ease.

the concept of ‘standards’

first of all, I also advocate for different standards between published/professional/marketed works and fan works, but I do so because of 1)potential spread and 2)they aren’t accomplishing the same thing.

In general, a fanwork will have limited appeal outside of the fans of the canon the work is based in; they cannot stand on their own without some additional effort. Further, fandom has its own language to some degree or another, and fanworks are frequently best understood in the context of other fanworks, like scientific papers citing other scientific papers in passing because the audience is expected to be other scientists in the field who have read it. In other words: the audience is probably fairly niche and in on the ‘lingo’. its potential damage circle is therefore relatively small. if somebody fucks up their research for a fic, it’s nbd, for instance.

On the other hand, an original work with a professional marketing team will certainly reach a much more diverse audience and probably a much larger one. It’s therefore responsible, imo, to be proportionately aware of the potential impact of the subject material and approach it accordingly (though true fiction will always have an unpredictable effect on any given individual, so there’s only so much the creator can do). I’d expect accuracy where research was done, if for no other reason than to avoid spreading false information to such a big potential audience.

and of course I’d hope that if somebody is being paid to write, their grammar/prose/proofreading will meet a certain standard of readability. (the same cannot be expected of free works done for fun that take a few minutes to post on the internet.)

having said that: standards for quality fiction writing will always be subjective. I’m always going to have questions about why The Sound and the Fury is an American classic (I couldn’t make sense of it no matter how hard I tried).  What gets published can be as simple as having good luck with the slush pile reader that day. I’ve seen fanfiction complimented with incredible research: there’s a Tokyo Babylon work-in-progress with an author who has traveled to fic-relevant locales to nail story and character details. I feel the line is blurring these days, especially because there are people who make a living off writing commissioned fanfiction now (too small-scale to be an IP concern, of course).

I think the fundamental difference between fanworks and original works is not quality of the work itself or effort expended.  It’s related to structure and aim. 

Fanworks, even AU fanworks, are like interior decoration. A 'good fanwork’, even an AU fanwork, works within a pre-built framework to elaborate on or add to or evoke what drew its audience to the framework in the first place. 

Original works build a whole new house, creating a new framework from bare construction materials to draw in and house the emotions of its readers. (and then maybe its readers decorate the house with their own fanfic.)

tl;dr: if an AU fanfic was so different from canon and the characters were so OOC that the author can shave the serial numbers off and repurpose it as an original story, it might be a great original work. But it wasn’t a very good fanfic, was it?

why is mary sue so offensive to us?

I don’t know if you’ve ever read the post Mary Sue, What Are You?, but what I keep coming back to is its iconic opening. the author describes an OC at length: orphaned as a child when her parents were killed in front of her, she decided she would dedicate her life to fighting for justice. She grew up to be rich, athletic, beautiful, sexy, angsty, a genius, undefeatable in a battle of wits and agility, and everyone who meets her is instantly lovestruck. In other words, a classic Mary Sue …

but also Batman with female pronouns.

I think one could argue that Batman is not always well-written, but the relevant point here is that Batman - and Mary Sue - might be 99.9% perfection in the shape of a human around whom the universe revolves, but if its their own canon and the universe doesn’t recognize their perfection the way the reader/writer does, it’s not really 'bad’. (And there’s something to be said about why giving this power fantasy male pronouns seems to render it so much more palatable than female pronouns, but for more on that I point you to the referenced essay.)

Your ask is worded to suggest that Mary Sue is synonymous with unprofessional writing. I … kind of agree? Mary Sue is frequently the main character of Baby’s First Fanfic, and let’s be real: Baby’s First Fanfic is often being written by somebody who might be as young (or younger than) 12-13 years old, with all the inexperience, grammar mistakes, and lack of training that suggests. and as far as characterization goes, I think that anyone who takes decent writing classes will be discouraged from writing a Mary Sue. But like Batman, Mary Sue can be a perfect princess and get away with it under certain circumstances.

I posit that Mary Sue characters (or Gary Stus) - whom I will call Flawless OCs from here - are not really a problem on their own. Further, Flawless OC is more agregious in fanfic than original works. Because what makes the Flawless OC so irritating isn’t their perfection, really: it’s what the character’s presence must do to the universe (which is, in the case of fanfic, the universe the reader came to experience in the first place) that’s the real problem.

To show what a good fighter Flawless OC is, they defeat the best canon fighter.

Flawless OC has a backstory more tragic and painful than the most tragic canon backstory, and they cope with the trauma of it better.

There’s no room for Flawless OC because canon wasn’t holding a spot open for a self-insert, so now there’s a 6th Lion or a 10th Fellowship member or a Second Child Who Survived Voldemort.

The entire universe bends to ensure Flawless OC has perfect luck; their enemies are helpless before them. Everything seems to go their way except in the chapter where the their love interest is supposed to rescue them from danger. (the rescue goes flawlessly, of course.)

Depending on the author wish that Flawless OC is meant to fulfill, Flawless OC will defeat any undefeatable enemy, solve the unsolveable problem, be the envy or lust object of any character, etc etc, often without regard for the original context of the enemy/problem or the canon personality of the character.

In short, Flawless OC usually have two major issues: 

they render canon irrelevant to glorify Flawless OC, and 

the universe constantly validates their choices to a degree that wrecks narrative suspense. 

what makes each of these things 'bad writing’ is different.

The first problem I mentioned - warping of mythos, plot, and characters to accomodate the Flawless OC - is a fanfic problem.  Canon-warping absolutely allowed, but what makes it fanfic - the canon source that acts as our shared experience and usually our main reason for being a potential audience to the fic - is almost always nigh-unrecognizable. That makes for bad fanfiction, but it doesn’t always make for bad fiction. Change all the parts of canon enough and you’ve arguably got an original work. It might even be a good original work if the author has writing skill.

The second problem - the validation of the universe - is what makes Flawless OC a dull read in any context. If Flawless OC wants something, you know they’ll get it. If Flawless OC hates someone, you know they’re going to catch hell. If Flawless OC needs to be vulnerable for their love interest, something just bad enough to make them vulnerable will befall them. The perfection of the OC is less of an issue than the lack of meaningful conflict. (A character can have no faults and still be interesting to follow if they must struggle against a universe that doesn’t care.)

to wit:

there’s a fantasy book by David and Leigh Eddings - The Redemption of Althalus - that I read long ago. it stuck with me to a peculiar degree because for a book with such a unique conceit, it was incredibly boring. This is published fiction: it had editors, a marketing team, and was written by professionals with lots of experience! But looking back, none of this saved the story from featuring Gary Stu in a universe that catered to his every need.

The main character, Althalus, is ostensibly a person in need of redemption for being such a bad person all his life and never punished for it, but he’s a loveable, quick-witted rogue almost from the start. To 'redeem’ himself, he’s tasked with saving the world from Enemies (we’re told they’re evil, but I don’t think we see them more than once or twice).  Protected by the Goddess of Luck - literally - for the entire novel, there’s never a single moment where Althalus’ victory over the Enemy is in question. He never does anything really awful that would explain his need to be redeemed (in fact, it turns out the Luck Goddess is the one who protected him from punishment all his life). The enemy is weak, forgettable, and constantly outwitted, and the protagonists, supposedly people of gray morality, never did anything worse than be snarky.

The unique conceit that kept me reading was the House at the End of the World. Being the home of the Goddess, it had doors that opened to anywhere on the planet. but for an idea with such double-edged possibilities, it turned out to be an impregnable fortress of Good. The House and its owner were the forces that bent the whole book’s universe to the inevitable triumph of the main character and his companions.

A counter-example might be Miraculous Ladybug. I’ve often wondered if Mary Sue could be written well and be likeable, and Marinette - the titular Ladybug - is probably close. She’s good at almost everything and always outwits her enemies; even when she seems confident to the point of arrogance, it’s justified by her endless successes. (Her only real flaw is being clumsy when she’s distracted, and it only happens when it’s conveniently cute. this is a walking Mary Sue cliche.) Her power is to be lucky, after all.  

However: even though everything ends up right for Marinette at the end of every episode, she’s not rewarded when she acts poorly towards others. She causes herself problems when she does. Her luck powers give her the ability to bend the universe a little, but the universe is otherwise unforgiving; she’s subjected to the same banalities as everyone else and learns to be a better person along the way.

OTOH if you put Ladybug in another canon with a makeover to recast her as Flawless OC, changing everything so she could occupy a central role like the one she has in her own series, she’d be insufferable: hence Ladybug is a solid example of how a Mary Sue can prosper provided she’s in a universe designed to both feature her and contain her powers for the sake of Good.

I apologize for how long a reply this is. Still: I hope it successfully illustrates for you that:

though original writing and fanfic writing use the same tool (words), and both can use them masterfully, what original writers like you do and what fic writers do are, in general, very different things.

And Mary Sue is what you make of her. In the right universe, she’s just a very lucky person. :)