#I'm experiencing the horrors but also
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ken & shinjiro
#persona 3#p3#ken amada#shinjiro aragaki#i have barely had time to draw since august because i've been studying…. sorry. hehe#and when i've had free time i've just been playing p3fes#anyway i love these two. people experiencing the Mental Horror on a daily basis#nemesis#castor#ALSO I'M NEMESIS' BIGGEST FAN
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"Bo-Katan isn't mean" Okay because I'm so tired of hearing this:
[/mēn/] adjective: unkind, spiteful, or unfair. vicious or aggressive in behaviour. Not mean? Okay definitely not vicious or aggressive in behavior Like her first appearance where she's part of Death Watch, a terrorist group and slaps Ahsoka's ass without consent to demean her?
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Or when she shoves Ahsoka to the ground and *laughs* in a tent where Death Watch (including Bo-Katan) has stolen women from the local village on Carlac and put them into forced servitude?
OR when she helps slaughter the village and burn down said village for asking Death Watch to leave them alone? (that's her on top of the roof)?
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Or after when she tried to kill Ahsoka and Lux for trying to help the villagers and leave?
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Or when she aided in a plot to cause intentional destruction and fear to manipulate the people of Mandalore into deposing her own sister and overturn Satine's very successful government that ended the clan wars (the Traditionalists then were given the lush moon of Concordia and their own political agency and government in which Pre Vizsla was the governor)? Then forcefully deposed Satine at gunpoint after she had abdicated because of the will of the people who no longer accepted her rule due to the manipulation of public perception by Death Watch.
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While Bo-Katan was likely traumatized by the Mandalorian Civil War/Clan Wars at a young age and there's no solid canon evidence but It's widely believed by fans that Bo-Katan was groomed and/or radicalized by Pre into DW from a young age--even if you believe this, IT DOES NOT EXCUSE HER HORRIFIC ACTIONS. None of it justifies her wrongdoing. She still had agency.
Okay so what about unkind or unfair?
Surely that can't apply to her sarcastic comment to Ahsoka when approaching her after she had watched her struggle on Kessel and made no move to assister her, only watching her to use her to fight back against Maul and reclaim Mandalore. While she does respect and befriend Ahsoka by the end of the Siege, she still initially saw her as someone to be used for her agenda.
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Or when she uses Obi-Wan's guilt over his relationship with Satine to convince him to aid her forces in retaking Mandalore, which Republic intervention would disintegrate treaties over a hundred years old and start another war on top of the ongoing Clone Wars. Which to her was a legitimate, even desperate method to reclaim her planet from Maul who was only serving his own agenda, but it wasn't a very nice way to do it. In some ways Bo-Katan is justified in how she is mean, but it doesn't make her not mean.
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Then there's her anger towards Sabine after she discovering what the Duchess does and that Sabine created it (after hearing how guilt ridden she is and how she already destroyed it.) Was her anger valid, oh yeah. Was it kind and and fair? No.
What about in The Mandalorian you ask? She's not a literal terrorist anymore in the Mandalorian. She's surely not still spiteful or unkind. Definitely not when she insulted Din's religious beliefs and way of life and called the COTW a cult.
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Or when she took credit for killing that one guy's brother without any remorse.
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Or when she changed the terms of her agreement with Din and forced him into helping her by withholding the agreed upon information after Din upheld his side of the deal. Which was her plan all along. And then on top of that, mocks him by using his own mantra.
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And then there's the disdainful opinion she has of Din and her own superiority.
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Only agreeing to help Din save his kid when he has something to offer her to serve her own agenda. Which again, valid but not something she does out of the kindness of her heart.
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Oh and then she's so direct and straightforward to Boba, not mean at all.
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Then in season 3 when Din shows up to help her reclaim Mandalore the first thing she does is take out her anger on him and once again insult his religion/COTW and invalidate his belief that the Mines will restore his place in his religion. All unnecessary.
TO BE EXTREMELY CLEAR: I'm not discrediting Bo-Katan's personal progress into a better person or when she does do good--a hero even by the end of Mando season 3--that's the whole point of a redemption arc, you have to be redeemed from something. And at her core is a commitment to Mandalore, but you can't ignore the cruelty and ego and dare I say it meanness that has gone with it, that's the beauty of her complexity is that she can be a character that grows and evolves and becomes honorable and also still be bitchy. Bo-Katan doesn't have to be morally squeaky clean or a victim to enjoy her character and her sometimes ruthless determination for Mandalore or appreciate her compassionate aspects and letting go of her ego. She's not an easily consumable or morally black and white character. This is in fact, what I love about her.
Thank you @armoralor for assistance with the screenshots from The Mandalorian!
#If you think Bo-Katan is “not mean” after this man I don't know what to say media literacy is at a historic low#i'm so tired of people saying she's this uwu soft victim Bo-Katan like who the fuck is that woman#SHE WAS A LITERAL TERRORIST#she has experienced horrors but she has also committed them#bo-katan kryze#bo katan kryze#tcw#the clone wars#the mandalorian#din djarin#sabine wren#pre vizsla#satine kryze#star wars#this is my magnum opus
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played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles
#dragon age tag#i doubt that will see much use again..but who knows. vvv rambling below#weird game..the characters dialogue stuff and ending were good tho :')#i've played some of the first game but it kept crashing. i knew already despite knowing nothing that this guy was going to be my type#it doesnt feel right making video game art any more bc games like this end up feeling really personal - an experience that happened to me#if i design the main character a bit and fall in love then..that happened to me..i can't make Fan Art of that..only ive been through that..#like i cant make fanart of my dear companions in bg3 despite it having been a huge part of my heart in the last year#almost 1000 hours of playtime in something i can barely talk about bc it means too much.... lol#tons of ideas and conversations and extra thoughts and scenes and emotions about all the incredible times i've been through in bg3#and the maelstrom just rotates around intensely in my own heart forever...but that's ok too...that is so precious to me#but fortunately i already knew people that have played this game and talked/drew abt it recently so it was saved from that for me#sharing scribbly fanart on my Blog is a way to capture the feeling just after experiencing something so it has good points#witch hat atelier escapes that by not being a GAME. games are so immersive. but my wha art & feelings are incredibly immersive too#which makes it difficult sometimes now. i live a complicated and emotional life <3 i am not suited to fandom <3#my character ended up looking so much like oru without me realising that's what i was doing. Kind bearded fireball throwing gay mage. Hmm.#falling for a sad white hair memory trauma fellow that keeps you at a tragic distance. Hmmmmmm.#i see also how very much bg3 is inspired by stuff like dragon age now lol so i'm glad i experienced it. I WANT MY KIRKWALL LIFE BACK...#so dated though as well and unpleasant at times (the city and the dismal atmosphere was depressing.) i hate violence/horror..#bg3 is SOOOO very dismal but it feels like I am killing people and going through horrors because i have to survive i have to be free#Well anyway. ahh it's so refreshing to fall in love. my gay journey continues...
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i already sorta played with the idea of bill having emotive hair in the first exploration doodle page i made for him but i figured it couldn't hurt to pin it down a lil more precisely :3
Palestine: Funds | Action | eSims | Info Sudan Resources | Congo Resource | Lebanese Red Cross
#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#bill cipher#human bill cipher#gijinka#i do love the vague body horror not only of bill being stuck in a body which does not belong to him#but that it's also at least slightly influenced by his thoughts and mental state but almost entirely in involuntary ways#because he so deeply refuses to be aware of himself in any capacity his body just Does Stuff without him knowing why#like he'll be repressing stress and sadness and not really feeling it but everyone can SEE it's what he's experiencing#cuz the magic glow in his eye dims and his hair smooths out and he gets a bit physically cold and sickly looking#bill: i'm fine!!#literally everyone: no one has ever looked less fine but okay man
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my fave alabasta shipping dynamics is pre-established zolu playing matchmaker (how successful they are? eehhhh) for pining namivivi
#this is 100% a flip on that one fanfic script of 'pre-established background lesbian pairing playing matchmaker to the main#'disaster gays' mlm pairing'. that so commonly clogs up the wlw pairings ship tags (<- has experienced the horrors of homestuck ao3)#but also I do think it fits the respective ship dynamics better because zolu is SUCH a comfortable QPR/bfs pairing while namivivi are a#dramatic. angst filled star crossed lovers/'in love and war'. bittersweet pairing#also the potential zoro and nami dynamic aaaa#I love those two so much. he would be SOO annoying about her predicament and she would rack up his dept SOOO much XP#psii.txt#text#god I wish I could write fanfic sometimes#not that I'm expecting anyone to. but if you want 👁️👁️. if you WANT 👀#this is open for anyone to pick up and do what you wish just PLEASEEEE tag me. please 🙏#namivivi#zolu#<- also in character for me to crosstag the side pairing to clog up the tag btw. its for the bit ok m sorry XP
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May... may we get info on the super au? 👉👈
"Monsters", in local dialect, can refer to any being that wields magic and/or is made of magic
SOULs are a culmination of magic, not self
tw/cw (trigger warnings/content warnings)
long post
medical system neglect/trauma
eating disorder (kind of)
food difficulties
knives
violence/murder/death (all implied/mentioned)
body horror, sort of
Killer
first to join the gang
hand arthritis because you're not allowed to enjoy your remaining arm (but you get an arthritis glove so)
mask
transhumeral (above elbow)
knee disarticulation
only character who gets a prosthetic
weird soul shape is the power
very stable
very unstable
Cross
second to join the gang
hood
mask
hasn't lost any limbs (yet)
knife summoning
"scarf"
saw Dream ACCIDENTALLY crush a metal beam with one hand and now screams at the top of his lungs anytime Dream gets close to grabbing him
Dust
third to join the gang
motorcycle-esc helmet
and they were roommates
literally
the economy is in shambles
Doctor: well actually we can't give you prosthetics unless we do a procedure to ensure you're actually missing your arms
Dust: ...but i was born without arms
Doctor: the procedure costs over a thousand dollars and i don't have the authority to diagnose you if you don't do the procedure
Dust: what
Doctor: im sorry
when the medical system is useless you have to improvise
bad for teeth probably
adjustable length grabber tool
whoopee cushion probably
villain outfit
scarf
ankle length
got blue to cut off the arms of a morphsuit and sew the holes up
GASTER BLASTER
Random Civilian: WTF
glowy eye
has a lot of magic to burn
Horror
fourth to join the gang
villain outfit fits him when he grows to a specific height
hasn't lost any limbs
motorcycle-esc helmet
least scared of Dream (because he can run away fast enough)
sharp teefers
Dream
was originally meant to be a manipulative government-working hero who's fake personality reflected canon Dream's while the real personality reflected canon Nightmare's
psychologically broken from spending 500 years in a statue
the constant hunger pains don't help
huge lidless eyes and permasmile tend to disconcert people (uncanny valley)
head is always slightly tilted to alleviate neck pain (making it worse in the long run)
little-no fine motor control
anything in his hands will be held with every ounce of strength he has (which is a lot)
Swap
was sweet and relatively innocent when he started working as a hero (and was a bit squeamish about even hitting villains a bit too hard)
naturally black hair, dyes it constantly to match outfit
prone to trembling violently when angry
blurred for violence
Karen: <- interrupting Blue while he's trying to do his job
originally tried to replace screams with laughter to trick his brain into not panicking during high-stress moments and now ends up laughing hysterically when startled/scared
Villain 42: boo
Past Blue: hahaa! you missed!
Villain 42: boo
Current Blue: AHAHAHA
Villain 42: hey man wtf
Current Blue: i don't know why i did that
Villain 42: it's ok
sledgehammer
mental stability is stretched thin from constantly supervising a murderous human-eating being with the psychological state of a severely traumatised child and a paint-eating psychopath with severe memory issues
Ink
travels the aus where he's human and technically doesn't actually belong to the super au
dislikes water (makes him start dissolving)
likes this au because he doesn't have to hide his supernatural abilities
Ink: wh.. where are my vials
keeps mixing up the definitions of hero and vigilante because it's different from au to au
supposed to have a tragic backstory but he's always forgetting it
legally diagnosed with traumatic brain injury and ASPD despite never taking the tests
#i put too much effort into these drawings considering the name of this blog#super au#infodump#killer sans#cross sans#dust sans#horror sans#dream sans#swap sans#ink sans#villain 42#so many character tags#tw#knife#violence mention#murder mention#death mention#body horror#kinda#eating disorder#medical neglect#<- implied in places#tell me if i missed any tags#i am currently experiencing the horrors and thus need to inflict the horrors onto my characters#also i love these types of asks where i just get to infodump#i also take suggestions on how to make my characters suffer worse#someone said seeing skeleton Dream not having fine motor control was comforting so#i'm inflicting it on more characters and every version of Dream#queue
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my bestie and i are making guys to experience the horrors :9
he's some guy that was swiped off the street and artificially given 9 lives.... he's vigil's lil experiment that's made up of 8 other guys <3
#ocs#accismus#furry#cat#if they aren't experiencing the horrors WHATS THE POINT !!!!!!!#also hi i'm just mass dumping art rn bc i decided i don't give a shit abt whether it's clean or post worthy or not.... my art be upon ye
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I think Akechi should have a major life event occur on October 4th. It's only fair.
#Nanako was born#Ken experienced the horrors (twice)#I'm going to say...#He got the Metanav on October 4th#saying his mom died that day feels like soubling up and we can be creative#perhaps Chihiro should also experience an event#because she's also a member of the Justice Arcana#even if she gets forgotten about#persona#persona 3#persona 5#persona 4#goro akechi
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making something (maybe)
#(hopefully)#hi. i accidentally disappeared for a bit.#the burnout got to me ngl#haven't done a single creative thing all week#i did make it to the library though#my book for feb was i'm glad my mom died#i don't usually read nonfic but. i enjoyed it. i mean#as much as you can enjoy a book with that kind of subject matter#i read it in about a day. mostly in one sitting#i've gotten a head start on my march book & i'm genuinely almost regretting my pick#like. it's a compelling read & it's written in such a way that i want to know what happens but#it's fucking horrific. rarely do i need to put a book down & have a break but. i have done so several times w this book#i'm determined to finish it though. i need to know if there's like. a point to the horrors i'm experiencing or not#uhh i did also go dvd hunting#i found season 1 & season 2 of ATLA which were cool finds#i did find them at two different thrift stores which i thought was kinda funny#i'm probably gonna watch the new live action later but idk#n e way#rainyrambles
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Today's the FNAF 1 anniversary (a whole decade. Hello.) SO! I thought I'd compile all my mike interps/mike-related chars (ft. My friends' Michael [the one with the purple coat]) as a treats. Happy fnaf 1!
#FNAF#FNAF AU#Mike Schmidt#Michael Afton#Psike#Spikhael Aftin#Morgan Kowalski#TabbyKat's Playground#TKP#Feddyverse#Phone Arts#I like have a handful of Mikes but he's not the one with The Most Interps/Related OCs. I'm not saying who#It's ALSO Psike's bday so it's kind of a bday present to nem#I've mentioned this before on psike's toyhouse but!#Ne was initially made bc I thought the idea of having a fake mike as (what was then) a dsaf oc was fun. So the correlation is there guys#Spikhael if it helps. Morgan's name isn't Mike. But he still is one. So#ALSO IM GIGGLING. All of them w eyebags they are NOT getting that good rest they are experiencing horrors#FANF
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have to say, exceptionally vindicated about my romance choice for this character. "this isn't a good idea"/"sometimes a bad idea is better" and "you like to walk a little close to the edge"/"so do you"/"at least i know i'm doing it" are SO in character. reckless, a little impulsive, maybe too much outward confidence, totally willing to commit to a potentially terrible idea--yeah, it's all coming together
#also laughing a little that some people have said lucanis either doesn't notice or ignores your flirts#he clearly doesn't#he plays ball flirting with you at the cafe too. he's quite good at flirting tbh--much as he feels he's not as good as illario#like yes there's a moment or two you don't get much of a response but mostly because those flirts are like 'glad you're alive!'#meanwhile he's experiencing Horrors#so i get why this comes when it does but nobody say my man doesn't have game. he's uncertain as fuck about this#but he DOES have game#also the breathy way he said 'at least i know i'm doing it' lives in my head rent free now#datv spoilers#rosie plays games kinda okay#that dragon sure does age#i felt this way about my inquisitor and cullen also tbh#got the first romance scene and she was awkward as fuck in it and i was like 'yeah that tracks for her character' and i knew#i picked the right romance for her lol
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costume design, set mockup, and rehearsal photos from this guide to the show that's like really thorough in providing Context like, mini articles about the creators of the original movie, musical, and movie musical, about other versions of productions, the history, quotes of other commentary, interview quotes, context of other / preexisting genres like b movies, faustian stories, "what if a plant was weird" stories, glossary of terms (such as references that may generally be less obscure if you were in the '60s, e.g.), suggested further reading....haven't read it top to bottom but i think it's fantastic, link to the pdf as post source
#lsoh#will roland#seymour krelborn#all news to me. i don't know anything about anything#like i do know some things. but nothing i would begin to call thorough. & need some stuff linked up like this#like oh yeah i know of this relevant thing a bit already; thanks for explaining how it's connected#and i think this is great for Seeing A Show. i always want this kind of broader Context and also i think it sure really would help for like#just being ready to see the thing. doing some prep#was having this exact thought like sure have sometimes seen things where in fact Not Having A Clue has not been simply helpful#the idea that the peak version of Experiencing A Story is to have No info about what you'll be getting into beforehand....#like who keeps asking like 80 yr old english actors what they think of theatre content advisories & then making me see it?#where they also talk about ''now why would you even go see king lear if you knew the ending'' ah of course#like i saw what was probably a fairly swanky production of pippin once. proper Regional maybe even#i just can't recall much abt the actual experience though i do recall enjoying it at all#and it's like yknow i think walking in with Zero Info was not helpful#and anyway i love info yay yippee wahoo#and naturally i think something like yay little shop of horrors musical has a lot of interesting backstory. whee hooray#i'm grabbing these pics. So grabbing the one ft. also robert dorfman mr. mushnik. he're
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me, writing a dead boy detectives fanfic: oh haha, i'll just research what other people call this monster in other languages in case i need it for this casefic i'm writing!
also me *scrolling and sees unmarked cherokee word for a creature* oh FUCK
#dead boy detectives#like i don't think you know the level of jump scare i just experienced#its so rare to see cherokee words anywhere so to see THAT ONE#fuck outta here with that bullshit that is scary as fuck#like i'm not scared of supernatural stories at all i adore horror but my cherokee ass is still not fucking around#i also don't really see them as the same creature#but then again i guess every culture sees things differently
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insomniacs soukoku who get the best sleep of their lives when sleeping next to each other
they both feel safer together because they trust each other. dazai nullifies arahabaki and fills chuuya's need for human connection. dazai feels needed and like he has a place in the world even if it's just by chuuya's side
#i'm just ......thinking thoughts#they are just sleepy boys who have experienced The Horrors#also dazai would never admit it but he also feels more relaxed when chuuya holds him#bex if you see this no you don't#i promise i WILL look at your posts just not rn#i just needed to get this out there okay don't hate me#wtf jordan#soukoku#bsd#skk
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me, the symptoms experiencer, experiencing symptoms: wow gee i wonder what the fuck is happening right now i have no context for why i could possibly feel bad, surely i'm not experiencing symptoms. me, when i figure out it's the symptoms:
#gif warning#medical stuff#man getting labled as a hypochondriac at a formative age (any) was a hell of a kick to the balls#i don't even have those#and yet#me when i've been told all my symptoms can't be real and that i was makign it up for attention so i started just not talking about them#even though in private without anyone around i was still experiencing the symptoms i decided i just Wasn't#because why would my parents be wrong about that - they loved me right?#so if something was concerning they'd be worried if it was a real thing - i wasn't making it up but maybe i was#no one should have taught my father the term psychosomatic#he's the reason it's had to go up on the shelf#mom flat out telling me it was impossible that [redacted] because i was quote ''too young'' for it to be happening#so now i'm old and it's a Real Big Fucking Deal I guess#i'm experiencing the flare/crash i was anticipating and - thank fuck - my brain isn't going down the tubes with it#which is a fucking miracle because this is the lead up to my period and *normally* that's when the PMDD hits real fucking bad#but in a stroke of luck (???) my body decided it was just going to smash itself into the ground Krillin-style#and as i lay here in the crater of my own body's making i'm just like. well at least i don't want to die#which is truly the most throwing thing of everything actually#anyway....#got hEDS put on my medical file for reals though so like#that's in there#that exists#also the look of HORROR on the nurse tech's face when i showed how much distance my hips spread *every month* for my period#i'm LITERALLY going into labor monthly and i've been doing that since i was 11#no fucking WONDER my body has collapsed out from under me if we even just go by that fucking metric like godDAMN#ugh anyway.... i'm. this was NOT the stuff i wanted to focus on this year for personal growth and healing but we're doing it now i guess!#fuck! goddamn! piss in a cup#i have also... failed to do the task i was meant to today and technically there's still time but it's uh. i. i'm gonna need to ask for help#and i HATE asking for help especiallywhen i need it most#another thing my parents have to answer for when they greet whatever judge they find at the end of their lives
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as a general rule, on average, if americans consistently complain about a food being conceptually weird, gross, and scary, then it probably tastes amazing. or at least inoffensive.
this is because in my experience americans for the most part (give or take a few exceptions by region) think eating literally anything other than beef, chicken, bread, eggs, peanut butter jelly sandwitches, ketchup, and disgusting cloyingly artificial brown sludge soda is insurmountably weird, gross, and scary.
#a lot of people literally refuse to even eat ham or pork#not even for like religious or health reasons#just because they think eating anything but beef and chicken is 'weird and scary and gross'#every time i hear people going on en masse about how 'weird and an acquired taste' something foreign is i go and try it and i'm just like#what the fuck were all of you smoking. where is the unbearable weirdness i am supposed to be experiencing#shoutout to that time i kept hearing about how bizarre a flavor milkis soda is and how intimidating and acquired of a taste#then when i actually try the stuff. it's just fucking peach soda. it's peach soda with a faint tangy yogurtish taste. it makes good floats.#how in the absolute fuck is anything even remotely weird much less gross about this?#unless your concept of what a 'soda' should be is poisoned by a lifetime of the entire soda aisle being filled with nothing but brown sludg#from the same 3 brands that all taste like what would happen if they could distill the concept of diabetes and artificial flavoring syrup#i don't know if other countries have this but there's this weird cultural like mandatory rejection of any 'unusual' food here#way more intense than i've seen from anyone from any other country (though that might just be inexperience with other cultures talking)#people react to the mere suggestion of any food outside a very narrow range with outright disgust and genuine fear and horror#and there's a huge amount of unspoken peer pressure on everyone to also do the same#like you're expected to agree with them and you've breeched some sort of silent social contract if you don't#it's seen as *immoral* almost it feels like#it's difficult to describe unless you've noticed it yourself#americans react to the mere suggestion of eating anything outside of the same 2 meats and handful of fillers the same way#that pearl-clutching aristocrat grandmas react to hearing that people in foreign countries do.. basically anything#it doesnt matter if you're suggesting eating ube cake or suggesting eating live bugs because people will react the same way#everything that's not chicken/beef/ect is as good as bugs to people here#hate this stupid blandass country and how impossible it is to afford any food other than burgers if you're not rich#or blessed with relatives that have any idea how to cook and are at all willing to teach you#cause nother weird thing i've noticed about food culture-or at least wasp food culture-that i haven't seen anywhere else quite the same way#is that if you DO have any relatives that know how to cook then nine times out of ten they will jealously guard their recipes like a dragon#and refuse to share them with anyone#thus taking whatever little cooking knowledge was in the family to their grave#so the opportunity other people usually have for family bonding via passing on recipes? pffft no.#for some reason we seem to actively go out of our way to prevent these things from being passed on#i don't know what the fuck is up with that but i suspect it has something to do with 50's dinner party oneupmanship
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