#I'm esl so sorry for me english

[plasticfangtastic]

This wasn't on the job description.

A Homelander X Ashley fanfic

Sypnopsis: Homelander finds that Ashley is not as useless as she appears to be, at least not according to his cock

2.8k words, one-shot.

R18+ smut with little to no plot, dub con, slight breeding kink, set between s2 and s3, pegging, cheating.

There was little reason to figure out why he did this, or why she was doing this right now. It hadn’t really mattered, there was no sensible response to her hundred queries, his mind too difficult and too upsetting to try to make sense of-- Homelander had just been teasing the collar he had wrapped around Ashley, to see how far she was willing to go in the name of self-preservation, a light handed tease that got far too amusing, he would’ve stopped her before it got to this… but she was still a woman.

A disgusting parasyte, a worm, a pathetic excuse of a person and a coward... but still a woman… she still had soft perky breasts, and a small tight butt, her skin was still mushy and creamy under his hands, that blabbering mouth of her still had a drooling tongue and she still had a pussy.

It had been so long since his cock felt the warmth of a tight wet pussy, each spasm bringing him closer to climaxing, Ashley had been a good little minion taking him in effortlessly, stifling her grunts and moans as the long girthy member lived up to expectations, that foam cup in his suit now felt to be more for modesty than anything else, she was smart enough to stay as quiet as she could, each trust forcing gasps and grunts, he was so deep inside her, feeling the tip of his cock kissing her cervix, his movements slow and deep, he wanted to make this last more for himself than for her, his hand assaulting her cunt, constanly flicking and squeezing at her clit and lips as he pulled, he chuckled as her hand dug deep into the velvet fabric of her office’s couch.

He came with a wet grumble, his free hand that kept her in place moved quickly to squeeze at her tits, squeezing her nipple just as he led short deep thrusts into her, filling her with blessings.

He took a second to watch the mess spill out from her, letting her fall gracelessly into the couch, her body twitching and spasm as her orgasm died down, her clothes tattered rags around her hips, she would need a new skirt asap, and all the buttons of her shirt had been ripped…no idea where her jacket had ended nor did she cared, meekly she turned around to catch Homelander admiring his handiwork, his cock half hard, he looked peaceful as he watched the cum spilled out her cunt, his thumb touched her body once more, he got closer keeping her straight as he pushed the cum back into her.

“Don’t make such a mess… what are you a child?” he said mockingly.

She nodded apologetically, her mind unsure of what to make of this, at least from behind Ashley was another woman, better than a pocket pussy and warmer than his hand, she had lived to expectation, getting wet and not arguing with him. he gave her a light tap of her ass and said goodbye, the spot bright red now.

It was days before Homelander closed the door behind him once again, she froze pushing her laptop screen down, holding her heart in her throat, the smell of fear exciting him much more than she would like, a malicious grin coloured his face, the sight of fangs made her feel as if the supe would bite into her neck for a light afternoon snack.

He sat in the couch not making eye contact just tapping the empty spot, she stood up with her chin tucked in, she cautiously approached him, feeling her knees wobble as she took her spot beside him, Homelander wasted no time unbuttoning her shirt with one sly hand, she whimpered which got him to stop, so he got closer.

His lips pressed against her ear.

“Don’t worry… I’ll be extra gentle with you… we have a meeting in two hours.” He susurrated– now blow me.”

Ashley got on her knees obediently, struggling with the fabric enough for Homelander to give her a hand, rolling his eyes as she took his cock in her hand feeling her tremble lightly.

“Jesus Ashley you act like this isn’t your job or something!” he sneered, he retreated into the seat pushing her hand away from him, before he could stand up again her hand took him more firmly squeezing him with all her force– oh.”

She swallowed a knot, and pressed her lips before Homelander could protest, pushing the foreskin down as her tongue came inside the skin folds, he hissed, feeling her tongue traveling lower and lower.

It was a messy blowjob, drool staining the couch, his pants hanging on a boot, she was going to get a fucking good yelp review out of this man whether he wanted it or not, sucking him instensely, making sure every inch was kissed, there was something dangerously exciting about seeing this monster moan and groan for her, he who did nothign but filled her with nightmares melting into a puddle, wanting her to do more, twitching his hips for her.

It was rewarding in a terrible way, Ashley never denied that he was good looking, nor was she ignorant on how many women wanted Homelander, her job did involve doing background checks on potential laids, but right now he moaned her name asking for her to go a little deeper.

His hand pushing her head lower with no regard for her safety, he came inside her throat, trusting as much as he could as her wet tongue laid flat, as her drool and cum mixed, the second he let her go she coughed, cum dripping down her chin, half lidded eyes watched nothing in particular.

It must have been a strange look for Homelander to have picked her up, lifting her until her head rested on his shoulders, one arm holding her still and the other fingering her pussy, she clung on his shoulders, moaning sweetly as his hand brought tears to her face, this felt mechanical for him more than it was exciting, feeling the walls contract and squeezed leathered fingers, her spread her just enough to make her whine, then let her go, slamming her into the couch signaling the end of this soiree.

She wasn’t disappointed… more glad than anything that he would at least make her cum, he had some manners left.

The rest of the day it was as if nothing had happened, treating her like the disposable wagie that she was, just as mean, and cruel as always, their days would continue like normal, she would feel her bladder weaken whenever he came around the corner with his eyebrows touching… or just in general, but every so often he would come into her office, locking the door behind him.

It made her nervous even if by this time it was the sixth time they’ll be doing this.

It was just relief, it all it was without Stormfront there to meet his needs-- beside the awkward but emotionally fulfilling handjob there was no other reason to do this, Ashley was still not close to meaning anything for him, she was obedient and skillful enough without bordering into slut territory but good enough where thinking about it made him feel… confused.

He wanted to cum feeling the heat of another person’s body, to feel and hear their moans and whimpers as he made them cum over and over, to feel their wet sopping cunts squeeze him, to feel their hands touching his bare skin, to feel touched.

For a moment he just wanted to be touched.

He hated this pathetic mud person, but she still was delicate, she was still better than a cripple’s hand.

Where her face failed to do the job her body made up for it, Ashley was thin but not skeletal, her hips had enough shape to them and her tights just the right amount of squeeze, any woman looked good with their lipstick smeared on their face, any woman looked good bushing and crying in pleasure, she bounced on his cock greedily and eagerly, if she had to fuck him she was going to at least make it about herself, neither one wanted to see the other’s face either which was good for Homelander... she grunted as she lowered herself into him, feeling him return her efforts with the strengths of his hips more needy than he wanted to be, his mouth latched on her breast, suckling on her sensitive nipple as if he was begging her to nurse him, one hand playing with her not so neglected breast and the other squeezing her ass, the demon at least was attentive, sensing she was sore on one breast only to jump at the other, she looked down and found him in bliss.

It was cute…

Too fucking cute to belong to his face.

He was in another world enjoying her body, probably thinking of his actual girlfriend or some other woman, and as much as she would’ve wanted him to avoid thinking about her all together, her ego was bruised.

An ego she didn’t know still had.

Her hand, which had kept steady on the couch, traveled to his hair.

The sound that came from his mouth made her whole body shiver, he had moaned so obscenely as her fingers stroke harshly into his hair, his hands lifting her hips and dictating the speed, he was turning her into a sex toy, moaning louder than her as she stroke him, pressing him tightly against her bosom, he fucked her harder whimpering as he felt the friction becoming too much.

“Fuck…” he spat.

“That’s it! That’s it!” He pounded into her, feeling her body bruise around him, feeling her body grow too sensitive, feeling his member harden further inside her– ahh.”

He came like a thunder, gasping into her skin as her body squeezed him, her pussy milking him, Ashley sucked, but fuck was she good in bed.

That pissed him off.

“Good boy…” Her voice quivered as she petted him, it had been just a habit– good…”

Homelander froze his eyes far too big to hide that slight shade of red sparkling in his irises, he blinked back to normal, his mouth a straight line.

He ignored her for weeks, beside their usual interactions there was no signs he had any interest in continuing their evenings together, at least her back could rest... right?

Before she could leave for the day, he had come in closing the door and she was already taking her jacket off, an awful conceded excitement filled her as she noted he avoided her gaze that last interaction had spark back to life a confidence that he had murdered so cruelly, she recognize the type, Ashley had already written her eulogy so she gave it a go.

There had been a twist to their evenings, Ashley felt an agonizing heat building in her stomach, she was sweating buckets, her skin sticky and clammy and the light painfully bright, the room loud with the sounds of her quivering pussy, her mind light where her body grew heavy, his tongue exploring every crevice, licking and sucking her cunt mercilessly, there was no pause, no need to catch a breather, his tongue fucked her while his fingers rubbed endless eights on her crying clit, so hard it made him chuckle to see the erect nub, his tongue so long it might’ve been some unregistered power he kept secret, his fingers spreading her,  going up and down then side to side, he pushed to three fingers as he nursed on her clit.

Pussy was delicious, so relaxing to play with, it was soothing and he loved it-- he could be a whore too.

She had cummed too many times, the night sky so dark outside and she had no clue how long this could possibly go on for, Homelander kept her in position, administering her punishment or reward until he was satisfied-- she couldn't tell anymore.

He looked up out of curiosity, seeing her red flush covering her entire torso and her hair messy across her face, slobber down the sides of her face and her hands red with her own bitemarks.

“pet me…” Homelander was so quiet and she was unsure if he had spoken at all, but she did as told, he smiled into her folds as her hand pet him gently– hmm… like that”

He swallowed greedily and obediently as she squirted from his relentless abuse, staying there feeling her heartbeat calm down, cleaning her slowly, sucking on her labia and letting her go, laughing as he found that sweaty mess called Ashley unable to move, her eyes so dark, he moved upwards, crawling on top of her, she whimpered at the thought of his cock entering her, he gave his groin a couple tugs.

Straddling her above her stomach, he took his shirt with ease.

It was going to be a long night.

He was thin under that suit but she could tell he was still made of steel, repositioning himself, he kissed her chest, fondling her tits, his kisses more gentle than she anticipated, being made of mud made her frail, he had so much self-restrain and he had no desire nor time to train her replacement, so he had to be gentle, moving slowly he build his way to her neck, enamored by the panting and heaving, he said his name as he devoured her.

Fucking her gently, pressing so tight againts her, Ashley was smothered by his heat and weight, leaving her no wiggling room, only thing she could move was her hands that caressed his back and neck, and the ankle that wraped around him.

He came with a hiss, she didn’t need to cum she was just glad to survive.

“I hate you.” He muttered but it didn’t sound honest more for himself than her, as he dressed up he headed for the mini bar taking a bottle of water to wash away her taste. He gave her desk a look, chuckling as he found something patriotic– "Didn't think you had it in you…”

He took the strap-on from her cabinet, flattered by the design modeled after him, Ashley bit her lip looking away, trying to muster the courage and sentence to explain this.

“Guess sometimes you want to feel like you got any balls left…”

He put it ceremoniously on her desk.

Leaving her alone but not for long.

Now she had no idea what he was thinking, she thought she understood him just enough, maybe Homelander was the kind of guy she suspected, that or he was curious of the toy, he watched her intensely as her tongue prepped him, this should be an honor for her, her hand didn’t neglect his cock, she licked him open saddened that he would hold his moans as she spread him with her tongue much to her confusion, he tasted so clean and smelled fresh, he had bathed before coming here she could tell.

He squeezed the couch tearing into the fabric.

He was a pain to get to relax but never did he try to run, looking away from her and straight into the skyscrapers outside, the night sky still so young.

She coaxed him gently, caressing his hips, she dared not to kiss him but she licked his back earning her a creamy gasp.

He took the flag greedily, sucking her in as she pulled away, her trust not fast enough, not deep enough, he cursed under his breath, pushing her out before she could muster an answer they danced until she was the one sitting down, his hand viciously gripping her neck.

“Do I have to do everything in this place?” he growled– now stay still.”

Homelander fucked himself silly, she was just a blow up doll under him, he was in his own world, fantasizing of gruff hands or strong yet thin arms holding him down, Ashley was speechless, his sounds so obscene and loud, pumping at his cock frantically, too distracted in his own pleasuring, he ignored her lips kissing his body, she squeezed his large behind, licking him, this was so good for the both of them.

His cum spilling in her chest, she watched him not knowing what to do next, her tits glazed and pink, picking a drop of his cum she licked his nude fingers clean, sucking happily, he smiled hungrily, filling himself again with slow drops, happy that this one admired him the right way, hypnotized by the bouncing of his cock as he forced it to go hard with every thrust against his prostate, once he was happy, he let the toy go.

He unpacked the toy from its confines, giving it a long needy lick as he placed it back inside him, grunting as he felt full and happy, turning towards her, he chuckled flipping Ashley into her stomach, smacking her hips against his hardened member.

“You’re better at this anyways”

“I’ll promise to do better next time Homelander, sir!”

“Good to hear.” he leaned closer whispering into her– take notes, Ashley… if you didn’t understand anything I’ll gladly explain to you again, okay?” He laughs not hiding his malice.

“Yes, Homelander…” She gulped her face afraid but her hips anticipated him submitting to him, rubbing themselves on him unconsciously, pussy kissing his lenght– "I'm a quick learner sir.”

He growled, biting into her shoulders.

He was going to breed her, he was going to fuck her silly, all she was good for, better at this than her actual job, and she wanted it for some reason.

And she caressed him afterwards just as gently as he craved.

Letting her stay for a while if he wanted to.

Whatever this was… it wasn’t too bad.

[thelikesoffinn]

I spent half the day tutoring a bunch of dumb arse (with love) eight graders in English, and, turns out, I actually have no clue how to speak English at all.

[beatle-07]

Extremely true! It's especially annoying to see complaints about it because 95% of the time those panels were changed for the tankobon version, so obviously Togashi was just too overworked to complete them for the weekly release.  

And when it comes to the voluntary sketchy drawings, I literally can't understand the haters because they always work so well with the atmosphere and like you said they are great for portraying the character in a real and intimate way!

Imo, the most unnecessary fandom bitching I've seen over the years were always about chapter 337. I find it shocking because I lovingly remember reading the Kite Gon reunion for the first time and being absolutely floored by the style change! It participates so much in making the whole sequence very raw and dream-like which suit the scene perfectly.

(Like come on now, that's not just an "ugly drawing", (imo) that's a direct representation of Gon's vision of reality being altered from seeing the person he saw dead having been revived in a totally different body. The whole situation probably feels extremely unreal and dreamy to him just like it is for us as readers!)

In general, I just love how the drawing and shading style becomes more loose during certain emotional exchanges. It's just SO good and I will die on that hill lol!

ik people like to take cracks at the manga art but i really genuinely think Togashi's art is incredible. even the panels people say are bad or ugly, i don't think it's bad art. i think we are all just really used to every character and person ever being ethereally prettified for the audience.

but sometimes people make stupid faces. sometimes people are unflattering. sometimes dogs look scrunkly. he understands so well how to convey emotion with his art and that's something that people who draw every person like a photoshopped model and every scene like it's a photo shoot can not and will not do. his characters are believable as people and it's in no small part to him allowing characters to look ugly when they realistically would.

that being said the "dogs..? I'm not sure" panel gets me every fucking time it's so funny

[sentience-if]

not me forever going "aHAHA!!" at the No Connie/Val Poly Mention Streak ending cuz i am either around as stubborn as you (either just barely less or just barely more) or just as stubborn as you... but i am much more powerless obviously. i just want them so bad and if there was a way to encourage you up to the idea, i would instead focus on that rather than on "lol im not the only one thinking about them! yay the streak ended!!" and all my its uselessness

(this whole message is me being light-hearted btw i do not wish to come off as rude)

(also sorry if my english is bad, ESL speaker here)

you physically can't be more stubborn than me the only thing I care about is the bit

but also I'm never mad about val/Connie mentions BTW that just IS the bit

[brisquad-unit-4402]

Hello!! Could I maybe request some Ike content? Honestly, anything you want, the brainrot is so real for me right now lol. I would definitely love something very fluffy, maybe with some cuddles or something though :) (also if you could keep it sfw that would be amazing)

Honestly just have as much fun as you want with this!

I'm sorry if this is like.. a bad format or something, this is my first request to anyone ever fdhsig

wip - ike and pet names

from the list of unfinished 4402 ike wips. notes under the cut.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It takes Ike a while to get into the idea of pet names. It’s not that he doesn’t like them! He actually thinks they’re sweet. 

So sweet, in fact, that he set on only calling you by one if he really means it. There’s meaning behind those words, even more than the literal definition, and as a novelist he’d kick himself if he didn’t use his language properly. He only moves forward when he knows what he wants. 

That’s one of the reasons why it catches you so off-guard when he calls you dear.

It’s just four little letters, right at the end of a question. Something so simple shouldn’t be throwing you as hard as this, especially since you can’t even recall what Ike was asking you. They way that he called you dear has you in a chokehold, and all your thoughts jumble into a pile of string.

“So what do you think?”

The thoughts halt. You struggle to remember the question, but the only thing coming to mind is how adorably nonchalant that name was, and how you wish you saw Ike say it out loud instead of plainly hearing it. “Sorry, um, what did you say again?”

Ike leans against the doorway, across the room from you, and holds his phone in a hand. He’s typing. “It’s about that restaurant you were thinking the other day? I found a coupon for delivery, so I wanted to know if you’d just like to stay in instead of go out.”

“Oh, sure, that’s fine. You’re getting hungry too?”

“Mhm. I’ll go ahead and order, then. The usual?”

“Yep. Thank you—”

A moment of gutsiness, now or never—

“Sweetheart.”

Two can play at that game! You swear his olive-green eyes light up for just a moment, before his casual smile returns like nothing happened at all. “You’re welcome, dear. I’ll make the call.”

Your heart flutters, but you see him off as usual, until the door behind him quietly closes.

Then you shut your eyes and swoon. He’s seriously the sweetest, even if you’re so much more receptive to the name than he is.

(An incorrect assumption. Later that night, cuddling in bed with bellies full of good food, he nuzzles up closer to you when you call him your sweetheart, and has to admit he spent a solid minute with hands over blushing cheeks the second he left the room earlier that day.)

sötis: cutie, sweetie

älskling: darling

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

from unit 4402:

sorry for taking so long, especially with current circumstances on ike's graduation. i should have used this request for the many ike things i wrote ever since i got it, i also apologize for never answering this request even though i ended up posting a bunch of things that would apply in return

i actually found this old wip on pet names in my documents, and i think i totally forgot i even had it to begin with. longtime followers might remember the time i accidentally posted the draft and didn't realize for something like an hour at least... sorry to those 4 notes. at some point i must have copy/pasted it onto google docs before i deleted the post, so i'm glad it could see the light of day after i totally forgot it was a thing, lol

i'm surprised that most of the wips i'm posting right now don't have more nonsense at the end, i usually write notes to myself on where to go next there. this time the only thing at the end of my document were the translations for two swedish pet names

i have a lot of mixed feelings on esl/bilingual characters using their non-english language for their partners, but ever since i wrote slow dancing with ike i was fixated on älskling from all the research i had done on it. i don't think ike would use pet names that often, actually, and if he did i could see him using more elegant, not-that-cutesy ones like "dear." this is where the swedish names come in, though. i think he'd be alright calling you sötis when you don't know the language, but once he's in a room with other swedish speakers he'll get super embarrassed if he calls you that, or älskling for that matter. oh, and he could never call you sweetie or cutie in english without blushing nervously, even once your relationship is serious

my intentions with this fic was to be more of a character study on how ike feels about nicknames, rather than actually being pet names. this is the main reason why i never got around to finishing this fic, i ended up hitting a wall. you can kind of tell that i tried to avoid that mistake by focusing on solely pet names and their contexts in krisis giving you pet names

thank you very much for the request, anon. i'm sorry i never responded to you specifically, but i hope my luxiem, ike, and other liver writings satisfied you.

this idea is free to use without ai.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

✧. ┊ masterpost ✧. ┊ kofi ✧. ┊ ike wip masterpost

[gilraina]

A bit random but, has anyone ever noticed your accent when you've done a podfic?

I'm sort of tempted to try making a podfic of something short but I kinda worry my accent may be wonky and sort of noticeable 😅

In the five years I've been making podfics, I was asked about my accent... once? Maybe twice? I imagine most people who notice just don't comment on it. Or will see me post something on Tumblr about being Polish and go "wait a sec, I thought you were Australian or smth" (because that's where people with unplaceable accents are from apparently lmao)

I also made the decision at the very beginning not to advertise it. Nowhere in my works or in my ao3 profile does it say where I'm from, or that I'm not a native speaker, no "I'm sorry if I mispronounced some words", nothing. Because I was worried that if I put that front and center, some people might just skip my podfics entirely. If someone clicks "Play" and after hearing me speak decides that my accent is too distracting, or incomprehensible, or my voice is too annoying, or whatever, that's fair (as long as they don't comment on it and just leave). But it would make me sad if someone decided not to click "Play" at all just because they saw me apologise profusely for my foreign accent and thought "wow, their English must really suck!". So I just don't do it.

I totally get the anxiety though! Before I made and posted my first podfic, I was really concerned about whether there is a space in fandom for a podficcer who's not a native English speaker. I've seen people say things like "I wish I could make podfics for [fandom], but the characters are American and I'm from the UK" and wondered, well, where does that leave me? Should I just not bother? But then I listened to some actual podficcers talk about it, and it turns out that there are plenty of ESL podficcers, and the community overall is very welcoming and usually very quickly shuts down any discussion about "appropriate" accents. I really recommend listening to this episode of the Behind the Pod podcast, where multiple podficcers discuss the challenges of podficcing in English as second language, it definitely helped me overcome that barrier by showing me that I wasn't alone!

So if podficcing is something that you would like to try, do it! Just like any hobby it will be hard at first, and putting your actual voice out there can be scary, but I promise it's worth it! Your voice, your accent, are a part of you, and if someone criticises them, they're an asshole and you don't have to listen to them.

Sorry for the long, rambling answer, I just have a lot thoughts about this apparently lol

[omegastation]

Hey, just want to send some digital hugs! English is my second language as well and I've been writing in it for some years now. I feel like it's a journey that will never end, but I kinda love it that way 😁 I'm sorry people were jerks to you about making mistakes, it says more about them than you (can They write in a whole other language!). I get so pissed when people get annoying about languages in general, especially French. I'm studying French rn and it's a beautiful language. Anyway, rambling, hugs!! I love all that you post about.

Thank you, sending hugs back <3

I think you're right, it does say a lot more about people. But most of them really are understanding, friendly, just pointing out a mistake in a very kind way (which is always helpful!!!). It's just that one comment that felt a bit humiliating and of course I'll focus on it more.

I saw someone making a post recently telling people to be more kind about fic comments, and I thought yeah. That would be lovely. Because people will leave negative comments even when it has nothing to do with spelling, grammar or other writing errors in English.

I hope fic writers know they're appreciated, native English speakers and ESL.

Re: languages, yep! But I feel like French is valued in the world, it can even be glamorized. Other languages can be seen as having less value or interest, it bugs me a lot. People need a hierarchy.

[lavenderbexlatte]

Hi!! I'm sorry to randomly ask you this but we're in the same Tumblr sphere and I saw that you teach English in Korea, I was just wondering what websites/etc you used to find your job? I finished my uni degree and everything but there's so many horror stories about bad jobs and I'm trying to figure out the best way to find a job that won't be miserable 🥲🥲🥲 Thank you in advance if you choose to respond to this, no hard feelings if you don't 💗 It's just rare that I find anyone close (if you consider me following you on Tumblr close 💀) to me that would have firsthand experience for this situation 🤧

'sorry' as if answering asks and oversharing aren't my greatest joys in life 🤠 anon please-

i'm more than happy to share!

but the first thing i want to say is serious. i don't want to discourage or blindly hate, but i think everyone needs to hear this (not just you, this is for the whole internet bc jesus fucking christ)

a lot of people with ~the truth about korea~ stories you'll see on tiktok or whatever are my least favorite kind of immigrants/expats 💀

see, some people show up for a year of teaching abroad...and immediately get disenchanted with normal life. they think it's going to be like studying abroad, or a long vacation, or a volunteer gig. they think they'll just get to cafe-hop and see idols and make tiktoks.

no. teaching english in korea is a difficult and demanding full-time job.

it's not a joke or a fun vacation for the korean staff who will work with you, or the kids you will teach. it does these people a serious disservice, to view your time here as a fun little silly trip.

this is my 7th year here. it's my career.

so. first, if you're not serious about teaching or AT LEAST willing to do your best, don't come here.

HAHA but with my lecture out of the way, let's get into it.

first you gotta decide if you wanna teach public school, or at a private academy.

i've never taught public, but that's through the EPIK program and has its own application system. you're placed in (possibly 1 but usually multiple) public schools across either a neighborhood, or in the countryside, sometimes across a whole county.

private hagwon (학원) english academies vary a LOT, but the pay is higher and conditions are more flexible.

eslrok and dave's esl cafe are the big ones for hagwon jobs. usually the posts are compilations of available jobs from recruiters, and the recruiter will be your point of contact.

my biggest tips are:

- be wary of big schools. if the ad says it's a big company with many branches, odds are it sucks. the biggest companies have the worst reviews. Chungdahm/April, YBM, SLP, Poly are all notoriously awful chain hagwons.

- be wary of very high salaries. usually a salary way above normal means that the workload is huge. they Will try to justify ridiculous expectations and duties with higher pay and it is not worth it.

- read korean labor laws. the laws are available in detail in English online. you should know if the contract you're offered breaks the law, and if it does, if you're okay accepting it anyway. i HAVE taken contracts with technically illegal parts just because i know i can fight that part in court if it comes to that.

- use hagwon blacklists. there are websites and also lists on reddit. you don't need to take the former teacher reviews to heart, but use the info to gauge the school. if a school has one bad review, it's possible that the teacher was a bad fit. if it has 10 bad reviews...

if you actually start the process and need specific help, anon, you can always ask me!

i could keep going, but let me know if this is at all helpful 😅

[a1exkra1ie]

15 people 15 questions

thanks to @simmyfrobby and @sergeifyodorov for the tags. my fandom mom and dad (affectionate)

sorry this got long (also sorry for that joke, joy and cody, I regretted it as soon as I typed it)

1. are you named after anyone? short answer, no. long answer, I'm named after a goddess, but it wasn't with the goddess in mind that I was named, it just sort of ended up that way. and I chose aleksandar because of the protagonist of a book.

2. when was the last time you cried? ok this one was funny. I was watching one of the tsn(?) promo vids they did for the pwhl. there was a girl, I don't even know who she is, but I had the most intense thought like "WHY AM I SO OBSESSED WITH HER" and I was TEARING UP!!!! so the tl;dr is that I am a lesbian and I like girls

3. do you have kids? no but I think about it a fair amount like... that's definitely not something that is possible for me but I love kids!!!

4. what sports have you played/do you play? as a kid I did a bit of soccer, ballet, contemporary dance and nothing really stuck... then in high school I discovered endurance running and it actually Changed My Life. then I got an injury before running my first 10k. which was a shame. and now I've not really picked it up again, but I do freestyle wrestling!! which is a TON OF FUN & I hope to keep at it for a long time

(I do still find soccer fun to this day I'm just terribly unskilled at it and sometimes get the urge to join 12 year olds playing it in the park)

5. do you use sarcasm? yes

6. what's the first thing you notice about people? if they look friendly. I don't know.

7. what's your eye colour? brown AF

8. scary movies or happy endings? and what if I want my horror movie to end well??

9. any talents? I can sing... I like drawing when I can set my mind to it. I don't write enough but I really like my writing style : )

10. where were you born? montréal, québec BABY!!!!

11. what are your hobbies? doing nothing on the computer. listening to obscure music. making mashups. watching sports (obviously). PHYSICAL ACTIVITY!! language learning and uhh, reading and drawing on occasion

12. do you have any pets? four! dog. cat. two rats (chucky and freddy. I talk about them sometimes)

13. how tall are you? an unfortunate 5 feet and 3 inches tall

14. favourite subject in school? history or english. or french, honestly depends. english I didn't have to put any work in (ESL is deeply unserious (we were learning verb conjugations in TENTH GRADE!!!???)). history was fun when we talked about something I liked (war history. and also I liked the teacher). french I could also get away with not doing anything because I was the best student in the class. Um. math was fun honestly? did a bit of html & js in college before dropping out, loved it also,.

15. dream job? so re: question 3 & question 4. my dream job would be to coach kids at wrestling, honestly. I love teaching & I love kids but I won't be going back to school to become a teacher, but being able to teach a sport would be, I think, the most fun I could have in a job... as of right now my current job plan is to go become what is essentially a handyman. it pays and I would like doing it!

I won't tag 15 people but @one4theoverlypassionate, @nicohischier, @dacchamp, @pink-car, @nastybastian, @ineffag-swag, @glitchcel, @jimothystu... if you haven't done this! (and sorry if you have. I'm not as online as I used to be 😭)

[windor-truffle]

is this a pun??? (aka Dolphin doesn't know how to read japanese)

ok i'm going to reveal myself now as an absolute monolingual ignoramus on a site full of people who fluently speak japanese but i think i might have accidentally taught myself something whilst translating the graces perfect guide and it's making me weirdly happy so allow me to be a language-acquiring toddler for a moment and overexplain what happened tonight:

so from the beginning of this translation project i was noticing some inconsistencies in how Google Translate approached the word used to describe Ephinea in relation to Fodra. "Star" is the english word it goes for the most, but sometimes satellite which seems more correct, and this bothered me because, well, Ephinea's not a star?? Not by scientific definitions anyway, I know this is a fantasy world but you can't live on a star, it's gas. But I chalked it up to odd translation quirks and moved on, until I accidentally got a few different translated lines thanks to part of the text being cut off the first time: "A satellite of the planet Fódlan" vs "Mamoru of Planet Fódlan" vs. "guard of the planet Fodlan." The original text is, I believe, エフィネア 【[ 文 明 ・ 文 化 】 惑星 フォ ドラの衛. Anyone who can read this probably can tell exactly where I'm going but I had to learn this so please be nice to me ;_;

The romaji caught my attention here because even with my limited knowledge I was like. wait a minute mamoru I know that word. A certain dumbass won't stop saying it. Is it possible that mamoru is somehow related to the word used to define Ephinea?? Is this a pun???? And upon some isolating of characters and a reference to JapanDict I learned 3 things:

The character 星 is the one google translate likes to define as "star."

The character 衛 is the one google translate told me was mamoru, and wouldn't translate it into "guard" until I allowed it to detect Chinese, so I assume that means it's kanji? (I'm sorry I know fuck all about reading in Japanese). By itself it didn't show up in JapanDict.

But you know what DID show up? 衛星, translated to satellite or moon. It seems the characters for "mamoru" and "star," when put together, become the word for the world of Ephinea, "satellite." The themes of the game are baked into the world itself ;_;

I had to stop myself here for a minute though because like I've said so much already, I don't know the first thing about how character based languages work. Maybe this isn't a big deal at all, maybe this is just equivalent to an ESL learner getting worked up about the morpheme "cat" existing inside the word "catastrophe" when the actual root and definition of that word has nothing to do with cats.

But the thing is, context matters??? If there was a story in which feline-based disasters were happening and it was being described as a catastrophe, that would almost certainly be intentional by the writers and immediately understood as a pun by fluent speakers, probably to their chagrin. But maybe to the ESL learner with juuuust enough knowledge to understand that there is a pun, it becomes immediately delightful.

Anyway, for now I'm gonna assume that this is intentional because it seems like there are many other words for "moon" or "satellite" in Japanese and they chose the one that uses 衛. Someone who actually knows anything feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, I'd really rather have my bubble burst but learn something than go around with false conclusions I made up because of confirmation bias and a foolish attempt at teaching myself a foreign language without any actual speakers around to consult.

But in conclusion,

[chromehcart]

Under the cut is a partial transcript for a 2017 episode of the podcast "¿Hablas Español? with Soledad Sánchez" ft Cam, Derek John, and Alvin.

Soledad: ¡Hola! ¡Bienvenido! ¡Buenos dias! I'm Soledad and today we have some very special guests: Three of the members of Chrome Heart! And let me just say, I'm a huge fan. I'm, like, obsessed with your music and when I found out there were three Latinos in the group I knew I had to have you on.

Alvin: Thank you. We're glad to be here.

S: Okay, before we begin, please introduce yourselves to the audience. Though I'm sure that's not really necessary for you guys because you're like crazy stupid famous.

A: Hi, I'm Alvin Santiago.

Derek John: I'm Derek John Juarez, and honestly, I'm kind of starstruck right now because I grew up watching your show on Disney channel and I thought you were like, the coolest person alive.

S: Aww, that's so sweet.

Cam: Hi, I'm Cam Perez.

S: For those, who have been living under a rock, Chrome Heart is a boyband who were formed on StarCaster – a singing competition show – and blew up basically overnight because they're a pack of talented cute boys.

C: Okay, wait, before we start.. What was your show?

A: Oh, yeah, I have no clue either.

S: Wow. That's humbling.

C: No, no! I just didn't watch TV growing up and Vin's, like, old.

A: Thanks, Cam.

S: [Snorts.] Okay, well, I was the star of the show "Dreams Come True" where I played Mandy Martinez and I was basically a witch who could make people's dreams turn into reality and I got into hijinks and shit.

C: Wait, I kinda love that. [Turning to Derek John] Can we watch that when we go home?

DJJ: Of course.

S: Okay, so are all of you Mexican or no? Google kept giving me mixed answers.

DJJ: I'm Puerto Rican, but they're both Mexican, yeah.

S: Nice. I'm Colombian and Puerto Rican. And you guys all speak Spanish? Do you all.. Are you all fluent?

DJJ: I'm, like, mostly fluent? I didn't start learning Spanish properly until I was around eight because I lived with my dad, who doesn't speak it. But then I moved in with my mom and grandma and they basically talked to me only in Spanish.

C: Spanish is my first language, so I'm fluent, yeah.

S: Oh, wow, really? We never have people who don't have Spanish as their second language on here.

C: Yeah, um, I was born in Mexico and didn't come to the States until I was five. And I lived with my mom and Grandma my whole life, who only spoke in Spanish to each other and to me.

S: That's so interesting! Did you have to take ESL as a kid?

C: Yeah. But I learned English, like, stupidly fast because I hated all the teachers and the white kids talking to me like I was stupid. [Laughs.]

DJJ: Only you would learn an entire second language to get people to stop bothering you.

S: [Laughs.] And what about you, Alvin?

A: It's kind of like a joke between the three of us that I only know Mom Spanish. Like I only know the things my mom said when she was yelling at me and my brother. My dad refused to teach me because he wanted us to be, like, assimilated, but I still learned some things here and there, through, like, context clues. But when they have a conversation in Spanish, I only understand bits and pieces.

S: Yeah, my parents were the same way. They didn't want me to learn because they didn't want me to be ostracized. But all that did was make it harder to learn as I got older. Now I'm about sixty five percent fluent, I'd guess.

C: Sorry, I know you're the interviewer so you can disregard this, but were you.. Did your show allow you to be Latina?

S: Oh.. Hmm, kinda. I – My character – had Latino parents but they were both played by Mexican actors, and rarely seen. And I wasn't treated as Latina by the narrative, or the company. I was just.. a girl.

C: That's awful. I– Recently, the three of us were talking about StarCaster and the way it kind of.. racialized us.

S: What do you mean?

C: I'm not sure how to explain it but with us and Ross – another member – it was like we were a zoo attraction, like, this group has four boys of color! You want to support them because you want to support people of color to show just how supportive and socially aware you are! Instead of, like, based on our talents.

DJJ: And they would listen to our private, personal conversations and have a translator there, telling everyone what we were saying.

A: What? I didn't know that.

S: That's insane.

DJJ: Yeah but it's okay. We started lying, fucking with them, saying crazy shit so they started leaving us alone. One time Cam asked the translator dude if he'd be okay with people doing the same thing with him and his family and he refused to translate for the rest of the day because he felt bad.

S: As he should!

-

S: If you don't just sit in his lap. Good grief.

A: Pardon?

S: I've been watching the two of them squish closer for the past ten minutes. It's like they're trying to meld into one body. Just sit in his lap.

[Derek John laughs as Cam plops himself into his lap.]

-

S: What Spanish word or phrase do you use the most?

A: Dejen de hacer eso (Stop doing that) for sure. These two are always making me yell at them for something.

DJJ: It's good practice for your future children.

[Alvin rolls his eyes.]

C: Te amo. (I love you.) I say it to my mom and grandma and Derek John basically everyday.

A: But not me, because I'm his least favorite member.

C: [Laughs.] Shut up. Te amo, te amo, te amo.

DJJ: I think recently mine has been bésame. (Kiss me.)

S: Ooh.. Do you have a little señorita? O señor?

DJJ: [Nodding.] I cannot disclose that information.

S: [Laughs.]

-

S: Sadly, we've reached the end of our interview. It's been so lovely talking to you three. This is the most fun I've had in a minute.

C: Aww, you're sweet.

S: Because it's the end of the show, I leave you all with one final question: What's your favorite Spanish swear word?

DJJ: ¡Cabron!

C: Mierda.

A: Cabron as well.

S: [Laughs.] Fantastic! Okay, thank you guys so much for coming. Today was so much fun.

DJJ: Thank you for having us.

[diabolikpersonals]

AND THAT ALSO INCUDES YOU WITHOUT THE SAYING

sorry, I'm not sure what this message is about?! but if this is a continuation of that ESL fic ask (cuz I got em at the same time), english is my first language! but I also started posting fic online when I was around 12, so I know what it's like to get flamed for poor english, yknow? so this topic is important to me!

oh, but if that's what this message is about, then thank you so much!!

[mcl39]

f1twt has been popping off since the race ended too. someone posted a clip of lando asking his engineer to "SPEAK up" bc you know, his engineer was giving him important information about the tyres and gaps to other drivers at that point. heaven forbid lando want to actually hear that information. anyway they posted that clip with this big rant about how "if yuki told his race engineer to shut up, we/f1 would be attacking him instead of laughing about it" and i was genuinely sitting there reading all of the replies like. people just say things without even listening to the 5 second clips they're discussing anymore because you can very clearly hear him ask his engineer to SPEAK up. it doesn't even remotely sound like shut up. (not to mention lando had been asking will off and on the entire race to please speak louder because he was having trouble hearing him). but point is these people really just say anything without 1 second to check if it's really true. i also. idk. as a poc, find it rlly weird to be using the actual racism faced by drivers on the grid to push an agenda against a driver you don't like, instead of viewing it as it's own separate and real issue? like do u actually even care about the racism or is it just looking for reasons to hate and push an agenda against another driver u care about. anyway sorry this is long, that pissed me off since i saw it but there are 0 braincells among f1twt as a collective so i rlly did not want to say anything and have them coming at me fjskcks

ok this is kind of bizarre bc i DID see the post talking about lando telling will to shut up and how yuki would've been crucified for it, but it DIDNT include the clip in it. tbh u couldve seen a similar take but i actually think ur misremembering the post, mostly bc no one was picking on lando for the 'speak up' radio (even outside of that post), they were talking about when he cut will off somewhere in those last 20 laps saying "i see i see i see, i'm pushing mate". and then the yuki fan CONTINUED TO SAY that lando's radio was 'nothing serious', they were just pointing out the double standard of how the journos / comms / fandom / marko rinsed yuki and claimed he was not fit for f1 because of his 'angry' radios. i do think that fan was wrong bc lando very much got similar critiques after sochi21, but to be fair to them most fans on twt weren't watching f1 3 years ago so like i wouldn't hold it against them. idk like twitter IS full of idiotic takes & the algorithm will push the most annoying ppl ever onto ur timeline in order for u to take the ragebait and engage, but like. i rly dont think this fan was hating on lando in general or was even in the wrong for venting their frustrations w how yuki is constantly carricaturised and underestimated. which again - maybe im talking abt another fan but its unlikely bc its this one who caught ALL the flack from all my lando stan mutuals so i think its the tweet ur also referencing.

anyways i dont think its necessarily making it a race thing to point out if theres double standards between drivers (especially re: british bias) even though again i dont think in this case they were correct specifically abt lando. but i also wouldnt find it outlandish to consider the outrage re: yuki's swearing is part of a bigger pattern of how east asian men r treated. i think yuki has been infantilised and woobified bc of his race and height throughout his career, and the cognitive dissonance created when he swears a lot (perfectly normal for ppl who dont speak much english / are ESL to swear liberally) is bc ppl cant concieve of the innocent little baby yuki in their heads being an adult man who can use swear words. and i think in that respect his career & public perception has had a similar trajectory to lando (who is infantilised for different non-race-related reasons lol), which is why i have a lot of compassion for yuki fans who r frustrated with it. especially in a casual liveblog situation that wasn't meant to be a Big Statement. but idk maybe thats my yuki bias showing

[aluna-hipster]

Present Continuous

Watch the videos below on the various uses of the Present Continuous.

Present continuous and going to - 6 Minute Grammar (6:03)

Based on a present situation=based on evidence

Present continuous for future arrangements esl (2:56)

5 ways to use the PRESENT CONTINUOUS verb tense in 

English (6:53)

Language Point  -  BBC Learning English

Read the summary with attention.

Present continuous for future arrangements

English speakers often use the present continuous tense (subject + 'be' = verb-ing) to talk about future arrangements. A future arrangement is a plan that you have decided and organised with another person. I'm spending Christmas and New Year with my Mum and Dad. We're meeting Susan at 3 o'clock tomorrow afternoon. Sometimes the arrangement is between a person and a group of people, or an organisation or company: I'm working over the New Year. (this arrangement is between Alice and her employer) They are flying to New York tomorrow morning. (they have made this arrangement with the airline) It is not always necessary to state who the arrangement is with. For example, Tim says: So what are we all doing at Christmas? I'm popping over to Poland for a few days. I'm looking forward to a nice cosy Christmas. Alice and Helen understand that Tim is talking about arrangements, even though he does not say who the arrangements are with.

Present continuous for things which you are about to start doing

English speakers often use the present continuous tense to talk about things they are about to start doing. This is especially common with verbs of movement, such as go, come, leave etc. I'm going to bed now - goodnight. Will you help me finish the housework? - Sorry, I can't: I'm leaving for work now.

Time expressions

T Time expressions are often (but not always) used when present continuous is used to talk about future arrangements. I'm working over the New Year. over the New Year: for a period of time around New Year They are flying to New York tomorrow morning. So what are we all doing at Christmas? I'm popping over to Poland for a few days. (to pop over: to visit briefly). I'm going to bed now.ime expressions are often (but not always) used when present continuous is used to talk about future arrangements.

[ghostlytalkin]

walrp is not only saying negan is their most wanted character but whitewashing their icons of the already light skinned woc they use to reply with. sorry if bad english grammar. It has annoyed me for a while how nobody talked about them especially when they were being so rude to people who are ESL

Listen to me rn, NEVER apologize for your English. The fact that it's a second or even third or forth+ language and you are using it? Amazingly might I add, amazing. So wonderful, I chef kiss you. You're doing amazing and anybody that says otherwise is trash, put them in the rubbish bin.

Secondly, of fucking course they are gonna whitewash their POCs, they look like the kinda people that do that and it's giving trash vibes. You. Deserve. Better. I'm happy to open the discussion of things and you are more than welcome to dm me as well, I keep my dms open for all at all times. Especially p*rn bots cause it's fun to fuck with them.

I'm really sorry that you had a negative experience and I hope that you find a much better rp that will be super welcoming and happy to have you!

[guillemelgat]

Actual legitimate question but what languages do y’all put on your resumes/CVs? Like I think at this point I have to put Catalan even though if I’m applying for jobs in my city that’s generally unimportant, but I’m wondering if I should put languages I have a decent amount of familiarity with (i.e., Basque and Welsh), or things that are actually likely to come into play within the linguistic systems that I live in (i.e., my very basic Portuguese and almost nonexistent Amharic, since people applying to these jobs often have absolutely zero knowledge of either if they’re not native speakers). Basically, I’m just curious what you guys put and what you think is more worth putting down, also possibly I shouldn’t be tailoring this to the individual jobs I’m applying for but whatever