#I'm disowning this system

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

Water is Thicker Than Blood Chapter 37

cw: talk of disownment and daddy issues

Sometimes trauma dumping with a stranger can be a bonding experience.

{Start} {Prev Next} {Master Post}

We're gonna start ramping up from here, yall, hope you dont mind~

I'm gonna start linking the masterpost in every new update since tumblr's tagging system is making it seem like the post doesnt exist. thanks, tumblr tagging system!

[liberalk1tsch]

How do you feel about people equating Katniss’ depression after Prim’s death to her mother’s own after her father’s, and the abandonment that resulted from it?

oh i can feel this is gonna be a long one.

there's two things i want to be very clear about.

the likelihood of katniss having the same mental illness as her mother is extremely high; they both present with near-identical symptoms. i think they definitely suffer from the same illness.

however

2. their situations are entirely different and deserve to be treated as such.

katniss' catatonic depression comes after losing her sister, the person who — in catching fire — she describes as the only person in the world that she's 100% certain that she loves.

asterid's first episode that we know of occurs directly after burdock's death.

while both of them have surviving loved ones after these deaths, there's a distinct difference in their support systems and availability of treatment.

in regards to asterid, it is extremely abnormal that she doesn't have any sort of support system. as someone who grew up in poverty myself, that's not really how impoverished communities work. typically, the only reason people wouldn't keep reaching out to help a family in need is if you are actively pushing them away, which we know to be a canon character trait for asterid.

(my dear friend and go-to expert on all things appalachia @loungemermaid does a great job of discussing the specifics of that within appalachian communities in this post, and asterid's role further down in this post.)

this likely results from her own issues with her parents, as she contextually appears to be disowned by them entirely, so she struggles to allow herself to grow close with others in her personal relationships because she herself has been abandoned and thereby developed an inherent fear that to grow close to someone is to put herself at risk for getting hurt.

from what we know, it seems as if asterid is that one girl who doesn't maintain her friendships once she finds her partner and essentially cuts herself off. i won't pretend to know if this is on purpose or not, but i will reiterate that poor communities tend to do a great job at reaching out to each other, so even if her town friends shunned her, there probably wasn't a lack of people willing to be in her network. keeping in mind she lived in the seam for at least 11 years before burdock died and had plenty of time to establish herself in the community. maybe this is because of her own trauma, maybe not, but regardless, it would make burdock's death all the more painful if he was really her only person (and based on the text, it seems like he is).

the issue is that she didn't exclusively have herself to think about. i'm not a parent myself so i won't pretend to be an expert on something i've never experienced, but i don't feel i need to give birth myself to know that the second you're planning on carrying a child to term, you don't get to be selfish anymore. you do what's best by your kid, even if it's intimidating for you.

i can understand that she couldn't "snap out of it" per say when she went catatonic. most people can't. additionally, i empathise with her in that she didn't have the proper medication to treat herself.

that being said, she had years to build a network for her family in the event that something drastic like this should happen (and based on what we know, it seems like a relatively common occurence) and didn't. whit put it best when they said "Asterid is still just a little girl, trapped in her own trauma, in her own head, where a single choice that her parents didn’t agree with means they didn’t love her anymore. It’s a cycle. It’s a shame. She could’ve broken the cycle. She could’ve called out for help, from someone. She didn’t."

when i studied nursing, one of the first things we learned was how impactful a patient's community and network can be on their outcomes and recovery. as a healer, asterid would know this. it's no secret in the medical community, no matter how high your education goes. it is one of the most basic aspects of patient history to take note of. but she doesn't develop that for herself or her girls. whether by hubris that they wouldn't need it, or apprehension at going out of her own comfort zone, i don't know.

and so her daughters are neglected. they nearly starve to death, and katniss is forced to assume the archetype of the parentified eldest daughter. from the time she is 11, she always has someone to take care of.

neglect does not have to be intentional to be neglect.

even after asterid gets better and begins medicating herself, she is still highly dependent on katniss for tessarae, hunting, gathering, etc. it's only after they're taken in by 13 and asterid is given a proper job that she's able to support herself, hence why it's so different when katniss falls into her depression following prim's death: katniss has nobody to take care of but herself. she's allowed to be selfish and wallow in her grief.

haymitch is drunk at home. peeta's in the capitol. finnick's dead. prim too. gale's in 2. and asterid . . . asterid has abandoned her for real this time.

there's no catatonia to blame it on either. yes, asterid's grieving. it's understandable why she doesn't want to return to 12. but she's fully medicated, and she has a minor daughter who's deeply traumatised and experiencing her own catatonia. she needs her mother now more than ever.

but she's not there for her.

she leaves without so much as a goodbye. doesn't even wait around to see to it that her only living daughter isn't going to be executed for murder. and she chooses to do this when everyone else who loves katniss is either in treatment themselves (peeta in therapy in the capitol, haymitch self-medicating, etc.) or dead. sae and buttercup are the only reasons katniss stays alive in the months before peeta returns to 12. but even then, we have no way of knowing if that was at asterid's request (personally, i think it's haymitch's).

she pushes katniss away one final time. maybe it's because she reminds her too much of burdock with her looks and her voice. reminds her too much of prim as her only surviving daughter. then again, maybe not. the amount of canon information we have on her is abysmal. either way, she projects her abandonment on her daughter and katniss once again nearly dies as a result.

basically this is all a very long-winded for me to say that while i think they have the same illness, their situations aren't particularly comparable, and their relationship is complicated, to say the very least.

[voidpacifist]

viktor headcanons

[modern-ish edition + meljayvik because I cannot resist, also I'm desperate to see more unhinged little ideas about him outside of being everyone's favorite blorbo. we should fear that man and this is my thesis]

learned a weird amalgamation of martial arts and self defense as a kid due to growing up in zaun. despite being in what was considered the "safer" part of the underground, his mother worried he wouldn't be safe on his own. his core strength and arm strength are absolutely ridiculous

in fact, one time he was hooking up with a fellow academy student, and by the time the whole affair was over with, he was hardly breaking a sweat while the other person was trying to catch their breath. he became somewhat of a local legend at frat parties because not only can he wear someone out for hours but, allegedly, he's real freaky with it too

knows the exact monetary value of different human body organs on the black market. whether or not this is from experience is something jayce and mel are unable to determine. vi is also knowledgeable of this and has traded tragic backstories with him in detail

has had to kill a man before, and tells this to jayce frequently to win petty arguments (jayce never actually believes him, even though it is fully and one hundred percent true). it doesn't work on mel

jayce and mel have a secret chart written of how many substances viktor has tried and with how much frequency. weed is at the top of the list, with alcohol being shockingly low. in spite of coming from a slavic background, viktor didn't learn how to hold very much liquor without feeling ill, but for some reason is fine with the illicit psychedelics that grow naturally in the undercity near the runoff tunnels. so far the list is nearly half a page long

will not hit anyone with his mobility aids but will ABSOLUTELY find ways to blackmail and hustle his way out of embarrassment. he learned the blackmailing skill from mel, and frequently looks to her for information since she somehow knows the most about the student body

extremely morbid sense of humor. jokes about being fatherless/motherless behavior and then hits you with, "I would know :]." mel is an honorary member of the motherless behavior banter, considering her own mother disowned her shortly before she came to piltover

taking care of one another is equal parts give and take with him, jayce, and mel, but it's never in a way that demeans each other or exploits each other's weaknesses. for example, viktor hates being carried or manhandled without consent and finds it incredibly patronizing if someone assumes he needs help without just asking him (common sense, but the student body is full of ableist sharks). if he's having a bad pain day or is finding it hard to move, he and jayce (or he and mel, depending on time and place) have a system for getting him to or from somewhere without drawing much attention and even have specific "I need help but don't want to be stared at about it" phrases

father's half of the family is slavic and mother's half of the family is romani. cannot follow a recipe unless it has specific measurements, but can improvise ANY stew or potato based dish with little more than his nose and a few kitchen tools. jayce can improvise any dish, but will always somehow overdo the spice if it calls for spice. mel is happy to try any and everything they make (on her birthday, she's spoiled with their attempts at making the ethnic food from her family, and she'll never tell them but she's very touched by their efforts)

owned ONE pet in his life and it was a hamster. instead of freaking out over it's death, he studied it's body post mortem until his father declared it a biohazard and forced him to dispose of it

learned most of his chemists knowledge from a disgraced former academy professor, but taught himself everything else he knows (if he couldn't get access to it in school). including, for fun, how to preserve and analyze body parts. he initially wanted to be a surgeon or biomedical engineer, but then stuck with chemistry (specifically regarding infectious diseases) to try and find a cure for the grey

shows up randomly at jayces or mels dorms at strange hours in the evening/morning. the first time he showed up at mel's, she thought a burglary was being attempted. he made it out with a bad knock to the head, but she did make him tea in the aftermath as an apology (he hated it but drank the whole thing anyway)

gets stoned with jinx on the weekends, since she's the only one who can find him good, ethically sourced weed. he pays her back by teaching her things he's learning and researching at the academy

meljayvik + caitvi + timebomb dates but they have to find a way to rent out the whole place because each and every one of them has Some Kind of History with the other academy students even though jinx and ekko are still a couple years shy of college age

viktor threw up at the distinguished innovators competition because jayce did first. it was a whole disaster. they spent hours after the ordeal hyping each other up on gatorade and pure adrenaline. it was the physically worst jayce has ever felt around viktor but far from the worst viktor has ever felt around jayce. this was just days after the two of them met mel, and she spent the rest of the evening forcing them to sleep or eat something that wasn't "pure chemicals." somehow, this ended in a heated debate between herself and viktor about the validity of gatorade as a substantial meal. he still refuses to admit he lost

I've said this before and I'll say it again: he has a closet full of ramen. mel takes from his stash often

can run on caffeine and very little sleep to the point where he is physically incapable of resting like a normal human being without feeling drained. flu season is absolute hell

showed up to one of his lectures shirtless once because he was in a hurry. fed everyone who looked at him funny the most outrageous sob story about how "weak" he was, then laughed about it with mel and jayce like an absolute sociopath for days about it. jayce did not find it altogether very funny. mel and him still joke about it

beat vi in an arm wrestling contest before he got sick. still almost beat her after his diagnosis too, but still took the betting money anyway. she'll never admit she's slightly terrified of him, but it shows

can wield many different kinds of knives but is terribly clumsy when it comes to other weapons like clubs and swords and staffs. tapped out of adaptive sports within his first week because it was "boring him." spent the next month teaching martial arts to his fellow disabled peers until the board made it an official extracurricular

turned sky down in the nicest but most insane way possible. nobody knows what happened or how, just that they ended up spending MORE time together after the fact and that it involved illicit activities. the rumors were insufferable for weeks. and wildly funny

(please feel free to add more, I'm gonna start a collection)

[angelthefandomobsessed]

Alright, I've entered your ask box. I say you do character studies. You write Leona so well ... Tell me how you developed your voice for him. Was he hard or easy to develop?

I think I'm naturally pretty good at picking up character voices (a skill that I think stems from having a more analytical brain when it comes to reading and writing). So, I never do anything too crazy to find a character voice, but I try to keep a few things in mind for Leona as I write.

Leona is very, very depressed. He doesn't have a lot of fight in him, but I get the sense that he wants to have that. He tried to make a grab for power during the Spelldrive tournament, but the second he was hit with resistance, he gave up. Leona is a prince, so he doesn't want for anything. This is in contrast to Ruggie, who is of low status and low income. Ruggie has a reason to fight for things. Both Leona and Ruggie want to elevate their status (Leona wishes he could be king, Ruggie wishes for a better life), but of the two of them, only Ruggie has an actual need to do so. Leona could bed-rot for the rest of his life and, so long as he doesn't get disowned or something, he would be fine.

He knows this. Leona is, in his mind, as advanced in life as he ever will be. He's highly skilled at magic, but that doesn't matter in the long run. Even if he was terrible at magic, he would be in the same boat. Leona could absolutely live a fulfilling life and make his kingdom better, but he's too focused on what he has 'lost' and can never have.

Despite this, he didn't take a 'shut myself away and ruin my self-esteem' approach like Idia. Leona knows that he's something; his dorm members practically worship him. During his time in NRC, he can rule the roost, so that's what he does.

This background could be argued to be what fills him with bitterness (because he one bitter, bitter man). He's arrogant enough to believe that he deserves to be king (his point of view seems to be that he's more qualified than Falena, and that he's been messed over by the way succession works... also, he's very annoyed that a literal toddler now outranks him, he could punt that baby into the moon).

So, we have a second son who feels entitled to power, who is bitter that he cannot get it, and who has been struggling with a lack of agency for his whole life. Add on that he may have been ostracised for having a destructive unique magic, and you have a fine blend of a very dysfunctional, flawed man.

With all this in mind, it's easy to see why he acts out in the ways he does.

When you consider what he would be like in a relationship... He would absolutely love having some level of power, and knowing that above all others, he was chosen.

The Sunset Savanna is somewhat matriarchal (they have a king, but it might just be that gender plays no role in succession, so the values seem a little at odds with the system of governance), and highly values women. Men and boys from there would absolutely be taught to respect their partner (I feel like this would come into play regardless of their gender).

Anyways, those are the sort of things that inform the way that I write Leona. In BTBCBT the polyamoury aspect was written to be the sociatal norm (based on actual lions), and Leona is okay with sharing because he's at the head of the internal power structure. He's been trusted with a level of control over his harem partners. Ruggie defers to him, and on some level, so does the reader, though the reader pushes back. The reason why having a bratty reader is fine by Leona, in the context of the fic, is that they treat him as a person rather than a prince (because they could not care less, this is not their world, they haven't been raised to respect these people). If Ruggie seriously pushed back and tried to become the head of the relationship, that would not go down well.

Having such a relationship gives Leona the agency he craves. It's his personal form of rebellion. Whenever it is threatened (even if that threat is a flawed perception) he sort of shuts down. He gets grumpy and pouty about it, maybe even noticeably annoyed, but on a deeper level, he would internalise that as a failing of himself.

If anybody ever cheated on Leona, it would proooobably ruin his last shred of hope. That's why he keeps his inner-circle small - less chances for it to all go haywire, less people to deal with.

I think something that really influences the way I write Leona is the phrase 'Laziness is not the disease, it is a symptom'. He's not lazy just 'cause, it's a symptom of something deeper... Because he is VERY depressed.

[lina-studen]

"something floral": literature student blabbering about the usage of flower symbolism in "nevermore", how it ties to the theme of insanity and a little bit (a lot) about shakespeare.

from lenore's perspective, flowers are closely associated with isolation caused by her trauma and supposed "hysteria". floral pattern wallpaper accompanied her loneliness for days, months, even years. image of the flowers signaled that lenore's position would remain unchanged, that she was stuck, that she would continue to slowly loosing the clarity of her mind.

having torn the wallpaper off the walls, lenore believes that she will never see this image again, but flowers continue to accompanying her. lenore sees them again during her first meeting with annabel lee. and during the last one, too. she may have managed to get out of her lonely room, gain more strength in her legs, find a new friend, but lenore is still trapped. she's the daughter disowned by her parents, a stain on the family reputation that must be hidden forever. the image of flowers doesn't let her forget about it.

similar symbolism is also not alien to annabel lee. episode 66 is interesting in particular, because it directly quotes ophelia's monologue. I'm a big fan of shakespeare, it was he who instilled in me an interest in floral symbolism. a year ago, for a conference on foreign literature, I wrote an article about flower language of "hamlet". it's not available in english, but I'll list down some points that I considered relevant regarding "nevermore".

• rosemary can serve as a keepsake between lovers and also between the dead and the living. it could be seen at both weddings and funerals. in the old days it was also believed to be helpful in mental illnesses treatment.

• pansies, just like violets, symbolize innocence and devotion. ophelia doesn't consider the people around her worthy of violets, since she blames them for the death of her father.

• rue is a symbol of eternal suffering; grieving over her murdered father and the loss of her beloved hamlet, ophelia leaves some of the flowers for herself.

• the image of daisies has a close connection with the concepts of innocence, fidelity and eternal love. in shakespeare's tragedy, this symbol is overshadowed by the fact that in the world around ophelia there's no place for these beautiful things. for "nevermore" the symbol is also not so positive, since the readers are already familiar with daisies. they were on that wallpaper in lenore's room.

it's impossible not to note that annabel lee recites the monologue while in the bath, in the water. ophelia decides not to resist the river flow. her life turned into a tragedy: she was left without a father, her lover has seemingly lost his mind. her own sanity is also called into question. ophelia sings cryptic songs, goes into the field to weave a wreath, gives flowers to other characters. in the eyes of those around them, hamlet and ophelia seem crazy, while being the only sane and honest people among them. there's no place for tender, innocent ophelia in a cruel, deceitful world, so she drowns.

annabel lee also reflects on how both she and lenore are considered madwomen. her meeting with "leo" is accompanied by floral pattern on the annabel's dress. their madness is contextual, they both are perfectly sane, but don't fit into the system that could be leading to real madness with time. "all madwomen die twice. at least twice".

now about the arboretum. it obviously has a lot of flowers, but in my opinion this place is interesting in a different context. lenore and annabel visited the arboretum twice to discuss upcoming plans and such, and there are many parallels, both visual and narrative. not much time has passed since last time, but their situation has changed. they seem to look on their past selves from the upper level, having their conflict more acute now. I'll make a more detailed post about it later.

and now I'll just focus on how the characters in this arboretum full of roses behave as lost and confused as in the phobia-inducing flower labyrinth from earlier episodes. “the closer you get to beautiful flowers, the closer you get to their thorns,” says duke in episode 38. the flower imagery haunting the main characters doesn't let them forget that their sanity is always on a verge of slipping. and once a flower falls from its stem, it cannot be fixed.

p.s. guess which writer’s works I chose for a new article this year?

[doberbutts]

I can't understand the idea that someone outside of an oppressed group cannot be victims of violence towards that oppressed group. That anon you deleted, the one who got mad and went "so cis people can experience transphobia!?!" Have you not read the news lately? What? What is happening to Imane Khalif right now? When you are past some arbitrary "acceptable range" of looks, behavior, etc., you become a target. As a cis woman who grew up in a conservative area, having "boyish interests" was enough for me to be subject to slurs and abuse. And it stuck around past that, because I have a small chest and broad shoulders, a long face. Whatever. Systems of oppression effect everyone under them because they all rely on "passing". You are required to reach a bar and to look and perform in certain ways and that bar is ever changing.

Well, that's why when someone was in my replies being upset that I asked how Khelif could be considered TME when transmisogyny was actively happening to her, one of the things I responded to said person was:

I don't understand how discussion the widespread effect of a systemic form of oppression and how it affects other things or is used as a weapon in other things, at all damages or erases the conversation that said systemic form of oppression is a problem. If anything, it's spreading further awareness.

I understand if the concern is that not enough people are caring about the trans women to whom transmisogyny happens on a regular basis, and are instead only ever caring about non trans fems and their relationship with being on the receiving end of transmisogyny. That is a problem, and it's one that does need to be talked about more often.

However I don't think any other form of oppression is specifically locked to only the people who identify as that oppressed demographic. Men experience misogyny. White people experience racism. Abled people experience ableism. "You throw like a girl" "you're not my daughter if you marry that black man" "what are you, deaf?" these are all things that are experienced by the "wrong" demographic, because in truth? The demographic doesn't matter.

These are systems we're talking about- the system of misogyny is what leads boys who fail to be masculine enough to be compared to girls as a way to state they are inferior, because the point is that with the system of misogyny, girls are inherently inferior to boys. Therefore, calling a boy a girl is calling him weaker, lesser, and not good enough.

The system of racism is what leads white parents to disown their children if their children date outside of their race. The point is that under the system of racism, interracial dating is seen as an aberration, and these racist parents then reject their own children for daring to love someone who is not white.

The system of ableism is what leads people to make comparisons to disability when bringing up someone's shortcomings. Disabled people are largely seen as failures in abled society, so by pointing to disability whenever faced with what is perceived as inadequacy, the system of ableism operates to continue to associate being disabled with worthlessness, and being abled with having worth.

Hell, it was not that long ago that "gay" and "retarded" were used as synonyms for "bad" and "stupid". Some people still use these words that way. It was a fucking Rick and Morty joke a few years ago, this isn't ancient history.

So when I'm told that I don't experience a system of oppression based solely on my labeled demographic and not on my actual lived experience, my immediate first thought is "that's not how systems of oppression work, literally everyone experiences these things in different ways, because that's what is meant when we call something systemic, it means the entire fucking system is built around this as a crux of logic"

Which is very weird to me then when someone tells me that by saying Khelif is/was experiencing transmisogyny, I'm erasing trans women. How? I genuinely don't understand how that's possible when I'm saying that the explicit hatred and fear of the trans woman boogeyman is what led us here in the first place. I am saying "this comes directly from people pushing transmisogynistic rulings for years and was always going to be the end result when they finally excluded all the actual trans women". I'm saying "it was bad logic when applied to trans women and it's bad logic even now, being applied to a [self-identified] perisex cisgender 'biological' woman and we should have put our foot down about it years ago when trans women and intersex women were actually competing".

Transmisogyny is a system of oppression. The system is functioning normally even when it fires at targets it's "not supposed to". That's what happens under systemic oppression. That's a feature, not a bug.

[wheelie-sick]

as someone who was abused all his childhood and who was disowned by one of his parents I have complicated feelings about obligation to care for elderly family.

I think everyone, even the most abusive unlikeable shitheads, deserve safety in old age. elders are vulnerable. elder abuse is abuse. abuse is never justifiable.

yet at the same time we can't task the victims of those people with caring for that person. someone sacrificing their mental (and sometimes physical) health for the comfort of their abuser is equally wrong. while some abuse survivors choose to care for their abusers in old age anyways, no one is obligated to do so and no one should feel obligated to do so.

in an ideal society abuse would be a rare phenomenon and short lived when it happens. an ideal society would have social safeguards for everyone but especially the most vulnerable members of the community. unfortunately, this is not that society.

I think a transitional step would be community-based elder care. this takes the burden off of the abuse survivors, in the process building supports for all elders and all future elders. in an ideal society elder care would still be community-based. no single person or small handful of people should be individually tasked with caring for their elders. that's not even mentioning elders with no living family.

by community-based care I am not referring to an institution that all elders are sent to. I am referring to collective care from all members of the community to check in and help out- mutual aid that extends to our elders, building relationships and connections with our elders.

unfortunately you run into the problem that some abusive shitheads remain abusive shitheads into old age. I think this complicates things as no one is obligated to put up with abuse yet mutual aid doesn't pick and choose. I'm not entirely sure what the solution is.

I saw something in the disabled tag talking about obligation to help abusers in old age using the justification of elder abuse and elder neglect being wrong. I think their notices were in the right place- elder abuse and neglect are serious problems, but I think their conclusions were wrong. any system where individual people are tasked with caring for elders (regardless of whether those elders are abusers or not) is a flawed system that will isolate elders and create opportunities for abuse and neglect (even unintentionally)

what we do in the meantime is an even more complicated question. right now we don't have widespread mutual aid networks helping elders and those structures will take time to build. I don't have answers to that either but I know that pressuring abuse survivors into caring for their abusers is not the way. instead of putting our energy into shaming abuse survivors for choices they make to protect themselves we should be putting energy into building these mutual aid networks. it is not impossible to reach out to elders in your community and begin making these connections right now.

[sysmedsaresexist]

Not so gentle reminder

Myths and Facts

- fictives, introjects, comfort characters, NPCs are signs of faking - these are all normal, recognized things in DID. These alters can come on suddenly or gradually. See the next point.

- alters only form during times of high stress or (re-)traumatization, they don't appear out of nowhere - while there is some truth to this, it's not that simple and is certainly not a form of faking. Alters can take years to show up after an event, and they might not know why they formed. It can be very hard to pinpoint an alter's reason/time frame for creation, leading many to misinterpret an alters origin. It's also common for some systems to split fragments very easily, and for reasons that can be boiled down to minor inconveniences. These fragments can and do take identity from media.

- people use systemhood to avoid accountability - while there are people who do this, please be cognizant that the point of DID is dissociation-- the disownment of one's actions, emotions, and memories. There is a good chance that the person you're accusing of faking is actually in an extremely bad situation mentally and is doing the exact thing people with DID do. System accountability is a learned behaviour that comes with healing and system communication. For some, it comes easy, for others, it's a sign of being in a bad mental state and trained reactions to confrontation. Please note: it's not your job to help them. Say your piece and move on, you're not going to fix anything there.

- only the worst of the worst forms of abuse can cause DID - repeated and longterm emotional neglect is the leading cause of DID, and is theorized to be more damaging than physical and sexual abuse combined.

Relevant articles because I'm lazy

Remember to be kind to others. We're all struggling in our own ways.

[1americanconservative]

@Bitcoin4Freedom

I can't stand Donald Trump. He is braggy, he insults people for no reason, and he is just a brutal personality. But my mind is made up. I'm voting for him and here's why: * He puts Americans and their well-being first. Kamala will not. * He will bring

@elonmusk

into his cabinet to be the efficiency czar and get rid of waste. This alone may be the best single reason to vote for him. * He will bring

@RobertKennedyJr

into his cabinet to Make American Healthy Again. He will finally get to the bottom of why our food companies are destroying the health of our children. * I'm sick of the way the media lies continuously about

@realDonaldTrump

, starting with the incessant racism claims. They are just nonsense. The latest thing I learned? He sent his plane to fly Nelson Mandela home after he was in jail with the U.S. wouldn't do it. Racist? No. * I'm sick of the U.S. being embroiled in foreign wars. Trump will keep us out of them again. He's just crazy enough that foreign nations will stand down. They have no fear of Kamala. They will fear him. * Trump sees this country as fundamentally good. Kamala sees it as inherently evil. * Trump will end the nonsense of the open border which makes our country less secure, less financially stable, and brings in millions of people illegally who compete for Americans' jobs. * This government has to print billions to care for the illegals. That makes all of our dollars less valuable and makes prices zoom upward. * He will stockpile Bitcoin. * He will keep men out of women's bathrooms and women's sports. * He is a heavyweight personality and negotiator. Kamala is a phony personality and a lightweight negotiator. * The people who want Kamala Harris to win are the most annoying people in the country. They have pushed for pronouns, masks, endless vaccines, cancel culture, riots, blatant racism towards whites, gender confusion, undermining the U.S. constitution. * He will upset the current political system. He was nearly the victim of assassination 3x. And he keeps going. He's not the best in interviews, but he at least puts himself out there. Over and over and over. Kamala hasn't done a single press conference. * Harris and the media trying to prop her up hid Biden's cognitive decline. They accuse

@realDonaldTrump

of being a threat to democracy. Yet she was installed as the nominee with no votes. She wants to pack the Supreme Court. She wants to eliminate the filibuster. She sued

@RobertKennedyJr

to keep him off the ballot. And the threat to democracy is Trump? Nonsense. * Those who support Harris look at Trump supports as vile, stupid, ignorant, and fascists. They disown family members or disinvite them from Thanksgiving dinner of they support Trump. This is disgraceful. * Every time she talks, I try to give her a chance. But she is the most phony and condescending politician I have ever seen. Ever. I can't do it. I won't do it. * She and those who support her are resistant to Voter ID and believe requiring an ID is racist. Her Department of Justice is suing the state of Virginia for trying to purge the voter rolls of illegals. Why would we not want 1 vote per 1 U.S. citizen? Is it more racist to believe people from the inner city are perfectly capable of securing a government issued ID? Or to believe they are incapable? That's it. I'm done. Thanks for hearing me out.

[autumnmobile12]

My Hero Headcanons: Spinner, Magne, Twice

*These aren't exclusive to the Ambush Sim AU, but they do fit the narrative there.

My headcanon is Spinner didn't necessarily have a bad childhood, but it certainly wasn't ideal. He's an only child. His mother died when he was young due to a rare illness that only affects heteromorphs, therefore adding to the heteromorph discrimination in that their biology made them susceptible to new diseases/conditions that healthcare wasn't funded to understand/treat. (His mother lived through the indignity of having to go to a veterinarian for treatment before she died, something I imagine is very dehumanizing for the animal-heteromorphs. Side Note: I really speculate whether or not a zoology course is required for a general practitioner physician in the MHA world or if that's a specialty.) Spinner's father was overworked making ends meet and was completely mentally and emotionally checked out of having a relationship with his kid. He never treated him badly, but they don't really talk outside of necessity and the occasional New Years/happy birthday calls.

...

My Magne headcanon is she had a wonderful family...until she came out as trans and it all turned out to be a façade. I feel like her parents acted accepting at first and entertained her preferred pronouns for a bit, but they were on the 'let's hope he's going through a phase' side of unsupportive. Magne always had an inkling they didn't truly support her, but she hoped they would come around eventually. She went no-contact with them after a bad fight that left her disowned, but she's doing well. Canonically, she clearly had friends before joining the LoV, so she potentially had a support group. Her father also taught martial arts and that's where she learned how to fight. I do have more headcanons about her character, but I can't go into it fully because that actually is a spoiler for Ambush Sim.

...

My Twice headcanon is more or less a prime example of how the Commission shot itself in the foot with their policies. Everybody and their mother in My Hero acknowledges he has a powerful Quirk, so you'd think after canonically losing his parents, the Commission would've approached him as they did Hawks or Nagant just to have another good, little soldier loyal to them. Or at the very least sponsored his education.

But the thing is, even if Twice wanted to go Pro, he probably wouldn't have been able to without any kind of financial assistance. Pro Hero education is taught at a high school level, and since there's the all but guaranteed prestige behind graduating from a hero program, I'm willing to be all or most of those schools are private, which means money. (Not to mention the public school system in Japan has a bit of a stigma behind it.) In 2023, the average for private high school tuition annually was ¥1.03 million (a little over 7,000 USD), a record high impacted by the pandemic.

Assuming My Hero's futuristic setting hasn't changed its education tuition policies to be more affordable or free, Twice straight up would not have been able to afford a private school's tuition on his own, and with combined factors of a surplus of hero students and high school not being legally mandatory in Japan, he might not have qualified for government assistance either since he could just go straight into the work force. And the lack of government assistance to impoverished children only perpetuates all the societal issues.

[alexandraisyes]

This is a flag I found for ASPD. There's an entire archive of support flags for people with different kinds of Cluster B Disorders. I just really like this version.

Antisocial Personality Disorder can be disabling and is considered a social disability. Depending on the psychologist it’s also considered an emotional disability like ADHD or Bipolar.

This may not make sense at a glance, but there’s psychologically found logic behind this.

People with ASPD have severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Chronic Depressive Disorder, and General Anxiety Disorder GAD).

The disorder also tends to be comorbid with Bipolar Disorder, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and Depersonalization-Derealization Disorder (DDD), as well as some psychotic disorders like Brief Psychosis Disorder and Schizophrenia. although these last two aren't as common.

There's also a chance for people with ASPD to have overlapping traits from other Cluster-B Disorders (NPD, BPD, HPD). And many people with ASPD struggle with impulse disorders. Common impulse disorders related to ASPD are as follows:

Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED): Characterized by recurrent outbursts of verbal or physical aggression that are disproportionate to the provocation.

Kleptomania: A recurrent urge to steal items that are not needed for personal use or for their monetary value.

Pyromania: An impulse control disorder characterized by recurrent and deliberate fire-setting behavior.

Pathological Gambling: Persistent and recurrent problematic gambling behavior that leads to significant distress or impairment.

Trichotillomania (Hair-Pulling Disorder): An irresistible urge to pull out one's own hair, resulting in noticeable hair loss.

Many people with ASPD also struggle with addiction and may be fighting addictions to drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping, binge eating, and social media because these are quick endorphin fixes that help us feel something due to the inherent nature of ASPD to be numb almost 24/7.

It's extremely rare for someone with ASPD to get disability aid. Which probably sounds ridiculous, when you look at this massive list of issues. A large part of it is our society. People tend to see someone who has a label that is synonymous with Sociopath and Psychopath (there's a difference between the two) and immediately want them in jail. And it doesn't matter how long they've known that person, or what their relationship is. (I got dumped last year when my ex found out I have ASPD and almost disowned during Christmas when I told my dad. The only reason I haven't been being that he thinks it's a demonic issue that can be "cured with prayer".)

On top of that, our psychology system isn't built to handle someone with a personality disorder like ASPD (or even NPD). I get told a lot "You're really self-aware." Which is basically them saying they aren't going to help you. Of course I'm self-aware if I'm going into the therapist's office for advice (at the least) and actual help (would be great), but I get turned away because if I'm "self-aware", so I should be able to figure it out. This isn't an issue that pertains directly to ASPD, it's also one that affects every disorder that's hard for a neurotypical to understand.

This is more personal. Feel free to read this in a mildly irritated, but not very much, tone of voice. Preferably a tired scholar from Skyrim, that'll make my day.

I cannot function in today's society. I can't hold down a job, and I've tried time and time again. I get a few months in and I hit a wall and my mental health goes to shit. I had to quit my last job for my physical safety because I got bored with just life in general, to the point I was seriously considering sticking my arm in a fry vat.

I haven't even managed to get a proper diagnosis because I don't have health insurance, and I have so many false disorders on my medical diagnosis sheet from my narcissistic father bullying my long-term therapist into giving me damn near every disorder except for ADHD and Conduct Disorder (I was below the age of 18, but it would have helped me in the here and now with securing the diagnosis I need for medical reasons.) Growing up several doctors I worked with wanted to get me set up for an ASPD diagnosis and my father told them no. And because of where I lived I had no say in it, and even if I did my father was abusive, so goodbye to ever speaking up for myself.

On top of that, I'm a woman. There's a severe gender bias in ASPD, as well as the fact that women with ASPD are reportedly less likely to be physically aggressive and more likely to be mentally aggressive, so our symptoms show up slightly differently than the stereotype. And don't even get me started on the stereotypes. Plus women are more likely to be studied for comorbid disorders than psychologists even considering ASPD. This is the same shit autistic women struggled with.

There's a massive underreporting in the female ASPD populace because of this, and a lot more masking going on because everything gets chalked up to "she's just a bitch" or "hormones". There's also just not enough research done on females with ASPD to understand how it may be different from a male with ASPD.

I'm tired. I've been fighting for a year to get people to recognize me as an individual who deals with ASPD. Every time I run into threats of being abandoned (which is horrible, considering I was abused and then abandoned by my biological mom, then put in foster care for the next 4 years), or the road block of "You're a woman. Are you sure you don't have BPD? That's the female disorder." Or just getting tired of the uphill slope. I only have so much stamina, and sure I have a lot of spite for the world, but eventually that's going to run out too. And then I'll probably kill myself.

The suicide rate in general is less than 2%.

The suicide rate for people with ASPD is 23%.

[sonic-takeover]

Hey Tails, he's fine right now so don't worry, but how would you feel about learning to be Metal's primary repair guy for whatever he can't fix on his own? He uh...kind of just disowned his dad. Today's incident was the last straw. 😅

Woah, that's a big project.. Metal is super advanced tech! Eggman even updates him regularly. But I guess if he isn't with Eggman anymore... There isn't much else he can do but rely on me! I'm on it! I'll see if I can access Eggman's system from here but if not, then I'll have to study Metal myself. *He gets up from his game of cards with the others and flies off to his workshop*

[theprettynosferatu]

A Warning (State of the Blog, March 2025)

CW: American Politics

I know, I know. I said I'd shut up about politics but... well, look around you.

First things first: the blog is doing fine. The patreon is preeety low but that feels like champagne problems at this point. Others need your help, if you can give it, more than me.

Now let's get down to brass tacks here. I have mentioned I am not American. But here's another tidbit I feel is relevant: I'm from a country that, historically speaking, endured a dictatorship recently. The scars are fresh in our collective memory.

Perhaps that's why I feel I need to hope against hope that I'm wrong about what I'm thinking. But I'm thinking the extreme right is awfully quiet. After they did their... hand gestures very publicly, they have gone into waiting mode.

I suspect that's because, simply, they don't need to make noise. They have the governmental apparatus now. They have the establishment, and so there is no necessity for them to rattle the cage. But they're not gone.

You see, what happens sometimes is that a dual system is generated: the "official" wing pushes, and the "extreme" wing is in reserve for when there's real, street level, resistance. A pushback is to be expected, and the "extremists" will be there to violently shut it down, with the consent -tacit or explicit- of the establishment. They are in the end the same thing.

They always have been. In the past the mainstream right had to at least play a game of condemning or disowning their extreme wing. Now that mask is off, and the signal that violence by the right won't be prosecuted or will be pardoned has been sent.

So be careful. Be prepared. That's all I can offer. Shit will very likely get very, very fucked before it can be *unfucked*.

Support each other. Know that even if you're not targeted now, if this keeps going the circle of targets will widen and it more than likely will include you- so even if you don't care about trans rights (which you should) to push back in allyship with them is in your interest as well, aside from a moral requirement.

Be kind. Please.

[kaiserposting]

My OCs' jersey number explanations ramblings ^_^

Tsubasa - #13 (usual jersey)

Tsubasa's birthday is February 13. So purely in terms of personality, Tsubasa is egocentric and self-absorbed enough to use his birth date as his preferred jersey that he insists on wearing

Now onto the meta stuff:

Well we all know 13 is the cliched bad luck number in Western culture. Tsubasa in his backstory has many unlucky circumstances surrounding his life. Btw I know Gesner is #13 in BM but let's be honest Tsubasa is more important (my beloved oshi). I think it can also have a double meaning, unlucky number 13 as in you're unlucky to be against him rather than the sole fact that he, himself, is unlucky.

Tsubasa is a self-reliant person & player who always preserves so it can be a case of someone "making their own luck" no matter the circumstance as well.

He has a lot of strange beliefs and conventions so being symbolized by a superstitious number also fits him thematically. For example he believes in angels and the death-rebirth cycle and other such not scientifically proven to exist things.

Tsubasa's character has a theme surrounding an obsession with "death" both literal and symbolic (as his goal of self-realization and also his definition of "change" lies in "death" in his own mind, hence the obsession with "dying", and to him "death" is "repentance" for what he "has done", which according to him is "being born").

The death-rebirth cycle samsara is a Buddhist belief. In Japanese beliefs about Buddhist deities, there are thirteen Buddhas who also play an important role in traditional funerals (once again bringing it back to the theme of death and rebirth in his own personal belief system + as well as the fact that he veers spiritual).

The number 13 itself in astrology and tarot readings is sometimes associated with transformation and rebirth, and the End of one cycle onto the beginning of another. The "Death" card is number 13 in the major arcana - the card itself also symbolizes renewal.

In Japanese & Chinese numerology: 1 + 3 = 4, "shi" = death, traditonally four is considered unlucky in Japanese culture even if 13 itself isn't.

#42 - U-20 match jersey specifically

4 + 2 = "shini" = "to death", again considered an unlucky number, in Tsubasa's case more so means "I'll play to death", i.e. "I'll play until I'm renewed". It's also pretty edgy and contrarian all things considered since a superstitious Japanese person would usually avoid having this as a jersey number.

Mael - #5

Mael's jersey number as well as most things about him are meant to be ironic in some way/bully him.

In Japanese numerology, it's considered a lucky number. It's also associated with the Chinese concept of the "five elements"/Wuxing, so it is said sometimes that number 5 brings luck and blessings, which Mael lacks from birth.

The deficient destructive cycle in Wuxing is the fifth phase "counteracting" (fire evaporates water, water destabilizes earth, etc) -> Mael has a reactive and explosive personality that is harmful to him and others lying within his trigger prone behavior.

In Christian numerology, number 5 symbolizes grace and God's unwavering love towards humankind, which is again ironic because Mael is born in an unfavorable situation and struggles to move on.

God's fifth commandment is "Honor your mother and your father" -> Mael was born into an abusive household to drug addicts who neglected him and later on disowned him. Since birth they gave him nothing and were nobodies to him. Number 5 symbolizes God's favor culturally, but Mael was not born in his favor, and afterwards he fails to adjust to a normal and stable self and living.

In Buddhism there are also five precepts that serve as the base morality principle for enlightenment and the path so salvation.

The five precepts forbid the following: killing of both animals and humans, theft and other things along those lines (fraud, forgery), sexual misconduct (i.e. sexual acts which are either forceful, unethical or adulterous in nature), spoken falsehood (lying, gossiping, verbal aggression), intoxication (alcohol, drugs, occasionally smoking is counted).

Out of those Mael is guilty - and often! - of theft, verbal aggression/malicious speech, intoxication (both as someone who uses stimulants and drinks frequently and even sold substances in the past).

TL;DR MAEL IS NOT MAKING IT TO NIRVANA WITH THIS ONE 😂😂😂 HE IS STUCK IN THE CYCLE 😂😂😂😂

[duchaisruin]

BREAKING MY SILENCE...

@cielenruine || @crevassier

Miklan shifted around on the barrel, trying to find a spot that could be tolerable to sit. At least enough to get through this. Running a hand through clumps of matted hair, he took a breath in. "Alright. Listen up," Fiddling with his legs, he kicked away some rotting apple peels (Seiros they really needed to clean the place), downing a breath of musty air "I'm Miklan Anschutz—a former member of House Gautier."

"With the newly appointed Emperor exposing the Archbishop and the Church for corruption and the Crest System, I'm going to tell you lot about the real House Gautier that Faerghus doesn't want people knowing about."

Ever since the Empire declared war on the Church, commoners and nobles alike were scrambling to figure out their loyalties. To nobody's shock, Mach flopped over and turned their backs on the Kingdom (that bunch were indecisive fence hoppers from the start). Miklan wasn't fond of Adrestia; but if the spoiled brat turned emperor is able see how Crestless, such as himself, were forced out of their noble houses and kicked to the streets because the Crest system. Hell, if she really was going to uproot the rotten Crest system…

… Well, he wanted to make his stance clear.

"First off, everything you heard about Faerghus about Crests is true. The Kingdom is obsessed with Crests, they don't give a rats ass about talent, or honour, or any of that garbage they love to preach. No, at the end of the day, it's always about those damn Crests."

"A close ally of House Gautier was the late King. The late King's elder brother, Regent Rufus, was overlooked in favour for the King. All because he didn't had a Crest. Regent Rufus is a talented man, I spoke to him personally—an expert in politics, understood what was best for our country, he was more than capable of being king."

"That didn't matter though, because his younger brother had a Crest. Regent Rufus was forced to govern Itha as grand duke, hidden away from Fhirdiad in favour of the late King." Furrowing his brow, he slammed a fist into his knee. Damn the Crested for leaving commoners like him to live in a broken shithole of a country. "King Lamber died in Duscur, leaving the Kingdom in ruin and forcing Regent Rufus to govern a broken country. His future was stolen from him—not just by his brother—but by the Crests. Regent Rufus' case is one of the many noble children of Faerghus who lack Crests."

"The Crested nobles of Faerghus flock together, they steal the futures of Crestless folks, chaining them away without anything to their name. The worst part? Those rotten bunch cover for each other."

"Margrave Gautier, my father…" Blowing out a sigh, Miklan made sure to blink twice as he lowered his shoulders. "When I was born and I didn't manifest the Crest of Gautier, his intention was to replace me as soon as possible. Margrave Gautier acts like he cares about talent and getting the job done, but that man's obsessed with Crests. Don't believe me? The late Margravine was expecting his second child before she died. That was his intention from the start."

His hands twisted the fabric of his pants as familiar rage burned deep through his veins. "When Sylvain, the current heir of Gautier, was born—everyone in house Gautier left me to fend for myself—I had to survive in that nightmare of a house treated less than dirt, while Sylvain was allowed to take everything from me. They didn't just allow him, but he was encouraged to take whatever he wanted because he was born with a Crest."

"I had all of the skills to become Margrave: I could lead our men well in battle, I understood the aims of our enemy. It didn't matter how skilled I was, the position of Margrave is not dictated by skill, but by Crest." Lowering his voice, the brigand dropped his head. "Eventually, I was disowned for being Crestless. I was forced out on the streets, forced to become a brigand and freeze during the winter. All because I didn't had the Crest of Gautier."

"Even though Gautier's stationed a hostile border, the crest bearing fool spends all of his skipping classes, shirking training, just to go chase skirts. Tell me, what kind of Margrave would turn a blind eye when his son is running around trying to bed everyones daughters, and toss em' out like rotting fruit? Margrave Gautier turned his head away when the degenerate was relentlessly pursuing Lord Gwendol's daughter."

Rubbing his eyes with a hand, Miklan huffed. "House Gautier will tell you that I tried murdering their heir, they'll lie and say I left him to freeze to death or stuffed him down a wall. But they're scared in their boots that a Crestless commoner is revealing the truth about their house. That's what Crested nobles do, they spread lies and slander about the Crestless who fight back against their bullshit."

"Emperor Edelgard, if you're watching this—do what you will with this information. I'm staying out of your war."

[thecloudcrusade]

I'm not quiet about being trans and participating in the fight for trans rights, so let's talk about college.

Being trans, especially non binary, can actually make it harder to get into college. Some schools genuinely don't recognize non binary as an existing gender and will simply deny the student instead of considering how they should improve their systems. Along with that, single-sex or religious schools especially express that they do not want queer/trans students attending, and I've even personally seen schools that actively denounce or oppose being queer as a whole. This makes it significantly harder for the members of the community who are religious to continue their faith in a religious school.

Even if a trans person does get accepted, safety becomes an issue. According to UCLA's website, in a survey of over 27,000 trans adults, 24% said they were harassed, be it verbally, physically, or sexually. That is horrifying. That is over 6,480 people. These people also face high rates of bullying, even from teachers, who are meant to be authority figures and role models.

Let's add to this lovely stew with debt. It's no secret that college is expensive, that's its own problem. On top of that, though, many trans people have to deal with lack of funding from family that may have disowned them, or the worry that they won't be able to afford HRT or surgery in the future to help alleviate dysphoria. That shouldn't have to be a luxury.

But wait, there's more! According to Lambda Legal, many schools don't acknowledge a student's preferred gender identity. They will be placed in the dorms assigned with their sex from birth, made to use locker rooms they aren't comfortable in, and required to use the restroom assigned to their gender at birth. They make it difficult and sometimes impossible to change your gender on your student ID and in their systems, and some don't even use preferred names, leading to deadnaming from teachers and staff, and by extension, fellow students.

Now, of course, things are better than they used to be. But settling for better never made any progress. Think of it like baking. Your first cookies came out way too salty, so you halved the amount you put in. They're less salty now, sure, but it's still too much salt. Don't settle for 'less salty', keep improving your recipe. We shouldn't have to settle for "at least we have more rights than we did in the 50s". Of course we do. We have better medicine, better women's rights, and better computers too! We shouldn't just settle though. We should keep fighting, we should make it so people in the future can look back and say "we're doing much better than how we were doing in the 2020s". Don't just give up because things are "better".