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goodolddumbbanana · 3 months ago

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[Molten/Sun] Honeytrap duo. [Bad End Au] [1]

Summary: [Bad End Au] What would happen if the Creator not only captured Molten, but also captured Sun? It was easy to reprogram Molten, and his unruly eldest son was no less compliant after a while when they were left alone with their own heads. Sun's personality chip has also been damaged quite a bit, but Creator doesn't complain, if that makes Sun more obedient and insistent on listening to Creator like the good son he should be.

This is a relatively distant future, where Dark Sun betrayed Nexus and threw Nexus to Sun as a kind of test to see if Nexus' presence would ruin the Creator's plans or not. (---- Spoiler: It does.)

It would be a lie to say Nexus didn't expect to be stabbed in the back like that.

He's not stupid. Nexus knows that Dark Sun has been playing him like a cricket from the beginning, and the fact that they have a fairly stable alliance to this day is because they both have something they both want from the other.

He just doesn't care, especially when he has so many shiny toys to play with. But it seemed that at the end of the day, Nexus himself went too far, and this 'Sun' couldn't stand him anymore and kicked him out. Nexus chuckled in pain, trying to control the negative star energy that was leaking out of him uncontrollably like a broken water valve, falling to the ground full of gravel and sand.

“I told you, right? Don't let things go too far, don't let anything trace back here. Don't mess with the astral bodies yet. But you didn't listen to me. Again and again.” Dark Sun pondered, staring at him blandly like he was some kind of investment that even though he knew it would fail, he still tried to invest money in it out of curiosity, only to leave a huge capital hole that couldn’t pay it off?

“Like every other Moon, you have to try to let your ego get in the way—”

“I'm not Moon. I am Nexus!” Nexus gritted out every word. The gloomy light in the laboratory became dim, proving that time in this dimension built with Dark Matters was about to run out. Darkness fell on Dark Sun's shoulder, a soft sigh filled the quiet cramped space.

Dark Sun's head tilted to one side, he asked calmly.

“So Nexus, what do you plan to do now? With the way astral bodies seem to be about to discover this place and aim to deal with you?”

“We move. And find another empty dimension. It's that simple.” Nexus waved his hand, he turned away and continued to look at the pile of Wither shards flickering in the glass cage, ignoring the presence of Dark Sun. The lonely white color in each tile somehow still makes Nexus feel dirty and grumpy, and a feeling of excitement still runs along each wire of Nexus like a beast wanting to escape and find someone to let it burn out.

“I think you're missing the point here, Nexus.” Dark Sun stated it slowly, as if trying to explain to a toddler. “Those astral bodies, it's not something that's easy for you to engage with and just ignore them like nothing happened. Even I can't say I can protect you if you keep pulling something like that.”

“Then don't.”

"I'm sorry?" Dark Sun adjusted his glasses, a simple red light flashed as if he was truly curious about what Nexus was saying.

“I said, then don't. I said it from the beginning, right? I don't care.‌ They want to come, so let them come. I can destroy all those worms easily if I want. They are no match for me.” He smirked, he was so tired of not doing this, not being able to do that. It was no different from being at home, no different from being controlled and manipulated once again like a freaking puppet.

“Nexus—”

"Don’t you dare to speak with me like that! I am God now!! Don't you dare underestimate me! Or do you also want to try a little of this kind of power?” Nexus's red eyes flashed with challenge, his hand forming a dark purple-black sphere, thick with death. The wavelengths emitted from the sphere stir up everything around, gradually scattering fine dust particles like a disintegration phenomenon. Papers flew everywhere, even the broken crystals vibrated, resonating with the power of the Nexus.

“I'm just a little worried about you.” Dark Sun said apprehensively, with a tone that completely made Nexus laugh.

"Worry?! Hah!!? Don't make me laugh! I'm here because you need me to research those Wither shards! Don't think I don't know that you went behind my back and colluded with Moon and Solar to try to bring me down.”

Nexus said the two people's names with pure venom. The former disgusted him so much that he wanted to keep them alive to make their life worse than death. The latter gave him a familiar haunting feeling of almost burning guilt, there was also bitterness and jealousy hatred running down his spine when he saw the other immediately clinging to any Moon that offered him comfort. trust.

The threat was clear in the air. Nexus could confidently say that he was the stronger of the two, that now it was Nexus who would be in control. And if Dark Sun wanted to end this meaningless alliance, he would be willing to do so, right now, right here, without any regret.

In the destruction and chaos created in the name of Nexus, Dark Sun still stays blandly. Rather than that, they look like they have been accepted.

“Forgive my words, Nexus.” The purple color in Nexus's hand was retracted by Dark Sun's almost compliant bow. “It's just, you forgot one thing…”

“And what is that?” Nexus raised an eyebrow. He was quite curious to see what Dark Sun had up his sleeve, as this 'Sun' never revealed any valuable information from himself.

“ You are not irreplaceable .”

And suddenly, he couldn't move. Nexus didn't know what the hell Dark Sun had done, but even the negative stellar energy he was trying to tap into right now was completely empty and unusable.

“So you're going to kill me now?” Nexus smiled fiercely, his red eyes staring at Dark Sun, as if wanting to pin that image into his mind, so that if he survived, he would find some horrific way to imprint it on that face. To remind it no one, absolutely no one allows messing around with Nexus.

"No." Dark Sun's hand touched the back of his head, "Killing you really dirty my hands, and I don't think you're valuable enough for me to do it myself."

There was a very faint clicking sound like something was being inserted.

“Hah… So what do you do then?‌ Are you going to throw me back with Moon and Sun and Solar and Lunar so those pathetic worms can kill me themselves? Let me guess, what you put inside me is something that makes me comply, right? Be a good boy for them to dissect like a sheep? You are more pathetic than I thought.” Nexus chuckled, his red eyes flashing with madness. He inevitably couldn't move, because otherwise, that golden head full of rays would be torn off one by one by him like the petals of a chrysanthemum.

‘His other one’ is very sensitive to pain. It made Nexus curious, if he broke that arm, would it make Dark Sun scream?

“I thought so too. Hand you over to Moon, let them deal with you, maybe try to save you. Destroy you. Or hand you over to the Astral Bodies, so you can suffer the punishment you deserve for your stubbornness.” Dark Sun hummed. “But… then, there is someone who wants that honor more. And who am I to refuse a request from a friend?”

“What do you mean?”‌ Nexus narrowed his eyes. Dark Sun has no friends. They were the ones who always claimed they didn't care about anything beyond the eternal vacation of their own vague plans, and suddenly wanted Nexus to believe that there was something or someone for Dark Sun to care about?

Bullshit.

“Yeah, yeah… You might not believe what I said.” Dark Sun took his time, another latching sound rang out after the wires were put back in place. Dark Sun's slow patience, if it weren't for the negative stellar energy that had burned out his sensory system, Nexus was sure he would be going crazy from pain right now. “But it's true, and believe me, you'll soon know who it is. Don't want to spoil the surprise, am I right?

“You should wish I was dead, 'Sun'.” Nexus growls quietly. “Because I'll be glad to split your chest in half when I get back.” The purple vortex appeared before him, just waiting for him to enter, flashing in his eyes like some kind of destiny.

“Haha— Your way of talking always makes me laugh, Nexus. Good threat though. Anyway, tah-tah, Nexus.” Pain shot through Nexus's circuit board, causing him to let out a long scream. Darkness erupted in front of him, blurring his vision to a purple-red hue. It felt like he had lost gravity, as he fell forever in the air. And suddenly, everything disappeared—

***

“I didn't think this would be what 'Dark Sun' was referring to when he said he was going to send me a surprise.” The slightly high-pitched, familiar yet unfamiliar voice, which Nexus had tried to bury in his subconscious, suddenly echoed in his ears.

The blurry light in front of him was a confused Nexus.‌ His system was filled with interference bands, as if trying to restart the software. The equilateral triangles in his system crowed that something was very wrong and demanded to be fixed, something that unfortunately he didn't care much about except for the annoying thing that it prevented him from knowing where the hell he was? The strong antiseptic smell hit the tip of Nexus's nose. A golden light of saffron appeared in his vision, making him want to almost unsure of who that person was.

“Are you friends with Dark Sun?” That was the first thing Nexus said. The only thing Nexus wants to know. He was so tired of the ridiculous empty taunts like how Eclipse wore it to protect themselves, or the fake politeness of the despicable creature called Ruin. What's the point of caring for others when the naked truth is always to prove the best.

“What? Not at all…” The voice laughed nervously. They didn't show any anger or fear or utter disappointment like the last time they faced him, the voice used to be so tired and empty, a fact that Nexus tried to ignore.

“I mean, I guess we have a few drinking parties sometimes. But does that mean we are friends?”‌ Sun – His Sun, the mean old Sun, the one who always looked at him with the shadow of someone else at their eyes' corner, right now looked so small in this bulky, grimacing laboratory. Sun reached out to tap their chin, looking like he was thinking something nonsense.

It was almost like looking at Dark Sun, with the way Sun held themselves and the so false leisure on their faces. Similar but different.

A strange, bitter feeling arose in Nexus's internal organs. The voice in my head that had been asleep for a long time suddenly woke up and screamed. His instincts continuously arose in his racing thoughts, making him unable to help but cringe.

There's something very wrong about Sun—

If Sun's eyes, the most obvious to recognize, which were originally a pure pearl color, one side had turned a toxic pinkish purple, a color too similar to the fragments of the Wither Storm. Then It was a small collar that hugged Sun's neck and wrists so tightly, with smooth black metal lines that almost looked like a dog collar, but also resembled shackles.

“Ah— How awkward…” Sun almost hissed, rambling pathetically. “I haven't prepared what I should say, if I see you again.”

“Or when I will see you again.” Sun added, stuttering. “I don't think Dark Sun really threw you away like a bag of trash like this. Haha… I'm just kidding… "

There was something in that voice that made the anger at Nexus' earlier betrayal suddenly flare up again. The crying voice in Nexus's head screamed, causing his entire body to erupt in pain. He hates this person, he loathes this person so much. The person who doesn't even have any merit, only knows how to cling on to others to do their bidding.

'You've always been so good at making me feel miserable just by existing.'

Nexus glared at the saffron-colored animatronic, the ominously happy expression on the face of the man who was once his brother made his stomach churn a little. It almost made him want to rush and tear that person's faceplate in half as the overwhelming feeling of anger overwhelmed him.

As if changing without changing at all, they were again on both sides of the rig, with Nexus locked in a cage and Sun standing tall and noble outside.

“What is the meaning of this? Did you come here to gloat? Destroy me? Or have you come here to 'save' me again? Where is your dear brother who let you do this secretly?”

Nexus sneered. The glasses he was wearing on his head had fallen off somewhere, making Nexus feel extremely naked. He did not know how Sun had a connection to Dark Sun, nor the absence of both Moon and Solar. Surely, they wouldn't let their poor Sunny face the evil Nexus, right?

Speaking of which, how long has it been since he saw Sun? Nexus has attacked Solar, almost killing Moon. He also made Lunar's power seem like child's play, and made Earth watch as he cut the damn crocodile in half. At first he just thought that this coward was hiding somewhere and couldn't bear to see him.

But it seems Nexus's perceived was wrong.

Sun from the beginning has always been here.

And like him, Sun also changed something.

Sun looked confused by his continuous attacks. His pink eyes(?) looked at Nexus vaguely before giggling.

“Oh God, no. Why should I do that?”

“What?”

“I mean, isn't this who you chose to be? I mean you can choose a different name, but if you want to be a completely different person and create an individual identity for yourself, who am I to stop you?”

Sun's voice is still purely a happy tone. There was a mischievous light glinting in those lavender eyes, a vibrancy Nexus had only seen in the early episodes of both Sun and Moon.

“Even though it's true you stabbed me with your promise and the way you used to be.” Sun shrugged. “But it's okay. I'm just going to keep you for a while to cool you down.‌ Then I'll send you back to Moon and Solar. Those two are so worried. I mean, they were pretty scared you were going to do something terrible and wanted to kill you. And killing people is really not my cup of tea either.” Sun raised his finger and then lowered it in worry. “It's not my job anymore, but I guess I still have some responsibility since we were once brothers, hehe?”

Nexus froze.‌ What was Sun saying?

As if feeling Nexus's gaze, Sun blinked their eyes, their hands waving once more.

“Oh, don't look so shocked. It was you who insisted that I be who you despise.‌ And I know you would rather have Solar to be your brother more than me.”‌ Sun scratched his head in awkwardness.

Ignore what Sun was rambling, Nexus interrupted.

“What do you mean you don't see Moon and Solar anymore?”

He had never understood the nonsense Sun had said when they were still together, and now it still is the same, especially when what Sun was spitting out now was completely opposite to the Sun he used to know.

“Ah yes… You don't know. Hehe–” Sun laughed nervously, “–well I haven't been with Moon and Solar and Lunar for a long time. I'm with my father now.”

“F–Father? What do you mean?"

This room suddenly became quite cold. Blue was painted on Sun's yellow plastic, turning the animatronic face into something creepy like the wailing ghosts in the horror games they used to play—

“Are you my Sun?!” Nexus narrowed his eyes, because his Sun would never upbeat like this. And there's no way they would be this nonchalant for someone who harmed their family.

“Oh yeah. That's me. But guess I don't care anymore, just like you, Nexus.” Sun said bluntly. The liveliness of Sun's mechanical movements suddenly stopped for a split second, before the dim pink light in that eye lit up once more. The two yellow animatronic hands suddenly clapped together, their shoulders puffed out in a ridiculous pose.

“But we're not talking about me now. What we should discuss is what we should do with you.”

"What? Are you going to kill me too for what I've done? Or do you torture me first.”‌ Nexus sneered. He didn't care too much about his own life or death, other than feeling curious about why the current Sunny boy could be so calm compared to someone who was so used to always frozen in tension like this. It feels like their personality chip has been taken away and reset, and what's left inside the machine is just an empty shell that learns to imitate others.

"Nah~~ It is an immoral thing to do, Nexus. I only do those things during my working time, not during my break time.”‌ Sun shook their heads seriously. “Besides, I promised to find you if you tried to escape, right?”

The words rang in his head. Nexus couldn't help but remember their last conversation in that cage. Suddenly, metallic yellow blocked his vision.

Sun's hands gently helped Nexus stand up and placed him on a soft bed. This inability to move was excruciating, and although he could feel that the movement of his joints had smoothed out somewhat over time, this slowness was intolerable.

“I don't know where to hide you. Creator won't like this…” Sun was mumbling. “-- But don't worry!” Sun's face almost shined, the bracelet replaced the red ribbon, hitting the rattling bell with lively sounds. “Surely among these rooms, there will be a room large enough to lock you up. And believe me when i say, it won't be like the last stuper.‌ I guarantee you it will be much nicer and wider. You can even let the light on.”

“And you'll be there, away from everyone for a while. At least before you cool your bald head enough for Moon and the rest of our family to trust you not to take any more risks.” Sun chuckled.

“And don't try to use Negative Star Power or try to escape. The device that Dark Sun installed in your head not only prevents that, but..." Sun sheepishly rubbed their head and spoke quickly. “–you will go boom.”

“What–?!”

Nexus frowned. Blame it on his system not having finished loading since he got here, but the information Sun gave him was enough to give him a headache. What the hell, did this idiot just intend to bring him back and lock him up forever, as if he were a piece of trash, as if there was something wrong with him? No! He can't end like that! He didn't want it to end like this!!---

As if Sun read his thoughts or he spoke out loud, Sun stared at him, their voice sounded so calm and indifferent, a tone he was so familiar with in Dark Sun was now imprinted on his own Sun.

“Because You are dangerous, Nexus. What you do, what you have done and continue to do so. Because you would hurt my family without remorse, although, it would also be your family, if you weren't such a stubborn idiot.” Sun gently poked Nexus on the head, a very friendly gesture, too careful for one person that intently destroy Sun’s happy life—

“That's not my brother anymore…” Sun's pained voice echoed through the hallway, hitting Nexus's chest with painful blows. An urge made him want to call Sun back, scream that he was sorry, but the stubborn half, the half that he had given up everything for, said that it was better. It would be better if Sun hated him, it would be better if he had no one else to care about.

Because Nexus knew if there was one person who would never give up on him, it would be Sun.

And he hates that. He craves that. He prouds at it.

A mechanical clicking movement was heard from outside as Nexus flinched in surprise. Sun, sure he doesn't care much, but if what Sun said is true then it could be the Creator.‌ And God knows what that old brain would do to him if that bastard knew he was here.

Turns out, Nexus’s guess was wrong. Coming in from the outside, is a shaggy bear with endoskeleton wires stumbling anywhere. Its eyes lit up, a mixture of red-orange and green, staring at the Nexus’s inexistent soul.

"Oh? Is that Moon, Sun?”

“I am Nexus .” Nexus growled loudly. He was so sick of having to correct these mediocrities over and over again. If it weren't for the fact that he was neutralizing it right now, he would definitely blow that idiot's head up to match its monstrous appearance.

“What????? No way!!" Sun's voice almost reached an octave. “You looked wrong Molten, see, there's no one here!! It's just a new… cat I got!!” Sun quickly covered Nexus with a sheet, and even though he could only see very dimly, through the hole in the fabric, he could still see very clearly the way the idiot was puffing their shoulders in a very proud stupid way.

"OH. I got it. The cat is really big.” Molten nodded, surprisingly, he didn't even look at Nexus anymore, just focused on looking at Sun kindly, the wires bent like a cat's tail, hovering around Sun's body. The eyes, which were focused on Nexus a few seconds ago, turned completely to observe the saffron-colored animatronic, causing Nexus to suddenly erupt in an unreasonable anger from nowhere. Surprisingly, Sun seemed quite comfortable when his whole body was entangled in the iron disgusted spaghetti.

“So what are you looking for me for, Molten? I thought the only joy you had was standing in a corner doing nothing?” Sun grimaced, they still stood in front of Nexus, deliberately acting natural. Sometimes they even turned around to shush him down. It felt weirdly as if he was participating in some kind of damn comedy that Nexus had no script for.

“It's funny. It is really hilarious!!” Nexus laughed, his body constantly trying to move, causing the clocks inside to spin around. The heat is on. “You always criticize and show disappointment in me, oh Moon, oh Moon, why did you hurt our family like that but look at yourself ?!!!” His hysterical laughter was too loud, too painful. He tried to look at Sun's face to see if there was any devastation but surprisingly, there was nothing.

“You followed someone who wanted to take your younger brother for a dissection!! What did he offer you??” Nexus grabbed the fabric and twisted Sun's hips, causing them to stumble and fall backwards. He tried with all his might to firmly pin his claws on Sun's shell, to tear that thing off, to show Sun that he should not be underestimated.

But Nexus is too weak. Or his system is still overloaded. He only had enough strength to scratch Sun's outer skin a little before he stopped moving completely.

Sun sat on the ground, groaning pitifully. But there wasn't a single ripple, even now.‌ Sun's lack of expression stunned him to the point where he couldn't speak.

“Are you okay, Sun?”

“It hurts so much. I think some of my screws are broken.” Sun frowned and stood up. They turned towards Nexus, took a deep breath as if to say something before turning away in exasperation.

“Hmm…‌Maybe that will make you less jumpy.” Molten shrugged, ignoring the childishly disapproving look from Sun. “But the Creator called you, Sun. We have a mission to do. Right now.” Molten's monotone voice rang out, causing Sun's body to stiffen. Their naturally cheerful and worried expression seemed to fade away, and for a moment, Sun blinked, their hands touching their head gently in what seemed like something was gangrene inside.

“Um… I guess we should hurry up and not keep father waiting. But-"

“Your cat is safe, Sun. There are no monitoring devices in this room, and it seems that your 'cat' itself emits some kind of energy that prevents any machine from sensing it."

All of Molten's eyes once again stared at Nexus, giving him goosebumps. A look that would have torn him in half if it weren't for Sun's presence blocking the way.

“Oh, you're so clever, Molten!” Sun admired. “Why do you know that?” Their hands swung up, shaking the metal coil that could break their bodies at any moment.

“I don't know.”‌ Molten shrugged again. “It's just there.”

“Someday you will need to give me a real logistic answer rather than I don’t know, Molten!”‌ Sun pouted. They turned to look at Nexus, the bell ringing in his ears.

“Hmm… Let me see… For now, please stay here, Nexus. I... have to go on an extremely important mission for my father! And I guess you need sometime to rest too.”

Sun removed the blanket covering Nexus and placed it on him despite his protests.

He hates Sun. He hated this feeling of helplessness, of being weak again. He ignored the fact that after everything that had happened, it was still Sun who was by his side in the end, it was still Sun who brought such a false sense of peace that level of frustration scared him to death.

Nexus' screams were still there, only fading when Sun closed the lab door. A gloomy moss covered both of them, as they moved across the metal floor in silence. The dark hallway had only the harsh sound of their footsteps hitting the floor, especially Sun, who was still whistling a cheerful tune, hauntingly gliding through the weeping willows as they crossed fast flowing water under the bridge.

Is it the Creator's interest to design the lab as a cheap version of Dr. Eggman video games? Sun doesn't know and doesn't care. It is just…

“Is there something you want to say, Molten?”

The bear didn't ask right away, or be curious about Nexus, which was strange. Especially when they most often are so loyal to the Creator first, and Sun second, simply because Sun is their partner in crime. Sure, they were very close friends, but Molten's loyalty lay with the Creator deep into programming.

It's not that Sun isn't like that, but the code installer in Sun's software is much more disengaged. Surely the terrible pain from not completing the task as well as the brain fog while resting were still there, along with the cruel urge that made him want to please his father. But the lack of a personality chip makes things quite easy for him to handle.

Sun chuckled, wondering if this is him having a more upgraded version of Forgor than Earth's?

“I won't ask if you don't want to tell me, Sun.” Molten tilted their head, a rope wrapped around Sun's arm, tapping his shoulders gently. It caused a slight feeling of guilt mixed with warmth to spread in Sun's heart before it disappeared, like every other emotion Sun often felt before.

“Thank you Molten. Honestly, I feel a bit worried.” Sun started rambling. “I'm not sure if you would think me hiding the Nexus as a form of betrayal to our father? Because… well I still feel a little guilty about Nexus, you know? About how he became like this? Like, you understand what I mean right? You have to do what you promised, even though it's not your obligation anymore." Sun gently stared into nothingness, the pink color gradually fading back to a fresh yellow color. Molten somehow liked this yellow color better, even their internal programming constantly told them to report this to the Creator if they saw anything unusual in Sun, like this.

“Creator will get mad.” Molten mused. Their creator has never had a good attitude. Sun laughed nervously, rubbing his hand that had been cut off and replaced, a result of failing in a certain mission. Not having emotions doesn't mean he doesn't feel pain. Although, the excitement of not having any negativity in the way sometimes still makes Sun do something stupid, like intentionally disobeying the Creator.

“Yeah… But it's okay! I guess if I do something really good, father will agree to let me keep Nexus without doing anything to him!” Sun snapped his fingers like two guns, leveling them toward Molten's face.

“Even if it means bringing Lunar back here?” Molten asked quietly. They failed twice in this mission, but fortunately Sun made up for it by finding one more shard.

Although this was not enough for the Creator to not break all the pieces of Sun's body in the simulation for hours.

Sun was silent for a moment, then he smiled, his eyes shining lavender.

"Of course! Because that's an order. But..." Sun gently looked down at the dark water surface, flowing slowly under the bridge. “I believe Moon and Solar won't let me do that.”

“Do you still care about them?” Curiosity reflected in Molten's voice, it made Sun's eyes fall into ecstasy...

"I do not know. Obviously I can't feel anything..." His hands suddenly covered his face. There was a shaky sound coming from his voice box as if Sun was laughing and having a panic attack at the same time. “But for them, I still can't help but feel a little care. By some kind of pure instinct or such craps I still feel responsible for them. It was so painful and at the same time… it was nothing…”

“If it was the Creator's request, of course I would still do it without hesitation but…”

“To think in such a twisted way toward my family, I feel like I'm not worthy of them anymore, Molten…”

Sun's smile was too pale and weak, a bland indifference floated in Sun's tone, revealing the fact that from the beginning, all he showed was just a program that his AI copied from what he remembers how he used to act. About the fact that when The Thing finished his job, a part of Sun gradually disappeared. Of course he still tries to make his essence float, but some days, Sun's greatest satisfaction is just to follow the Creator's orders and let the family love he cherishes so much drift into the past.

There was a writhing pain that appeared in Sun's chest, as if it wanted to crush him and carry him away. Not feeling anything made him become so desperate. He doesn't want that, he wants to feel angry, he wants to feel this hatred like before. He wants the inherent anxiety that is a part of him not to be instantly extinguished, he wants his emotions to return to his own control. He wanted to become Sun again, no matter how much he hated his own pathetic nature self. He couldn't stand the false sense of ambiguity towards everything like a storm trying to take Sun away and break it in half—

He wants to care and wants to return to his own family, he doesn't want to be here-----

Sun pressed his face against Molten. The purple-pink light appeared again, making Sun blink.

“Oops… Thinking too much again…” Sun released his hands, his eyes still staring blankly at nothing, unable to let go. It made Molten feel uncomfortable, they didn't like seeing Sun like this, and for a moment, a very ancient image with a nervous but sincere laugh that belonged to the yellow animatronic flashed through the bear's foggy mind.

“You're fine, Sun. You are like my Bonbon. I don't want someone else to be my partner. Not if it is not you.” Molten pleaded, clinging to Sun like he was a lifeline, like Sun is something important.

The two people's eyes stared at each other. Sun smiled hollowly, his eyes glowing sunny yellow before disappearing in mauve. Darkness covered the two of them like a monster's greedy mouth, two lonely creatures that only knew how to cling themselves to each other to survive now.

“You are so terrible to compare me to that bunny, Molten. I am much better than a Bonbon.”

Summary below.

#i sorrry i dont know how to make Nexus be more emo #probly ooc though #honeytrap #honey trap #sun x molten #sun and moon show #tsams #the sun and moon show #sams moon #tsams nexus #tsams moon #sams sun #tsams dark sun #molten freddy #sun/molten #bad end au #sun and dark sun is kinda cool with each other

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crazycurly-77 · 3 months ago

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The bet - Chapter 4

Gibbs and you stormed into the house at gunpoint with him yelling “NCIS! Federal Agents!”

The surprise effect was yours. Warren sat on his couch watching TV and eating chips as the both of you walked in. Immediately he held his hands up in surrender and Gibbs handcuffed him, telling him his rights.

You brought him to the NCIS headquarters and placed him directly into one of the interrogation rooms. Then you walked into the adjacent observation room and waited for Gibbs to begin. As was his habit he let the suspect wait and went for a fresh coffee.

Meanwhile Tony and Tim came, stood beside you and waited, too.

“Hey, you got him! Good job. Hope the boss will grill him.” Tony greeted you. Tim was still halfway sleeping.

“Yeah, but I'm curious about his motive.” you mused. Then the survey began as Gibbs entered the interrogation room.

He sat down on the chair opposite from Warren with his notepad and the file in his hands and stared at him without saying a word. The suspect began slightly to squirm and became more and more nervous.

After a while without any word and not making any move Gibbs asked him “why did you kill two navy soldiers and tried to kill an admiral?”

Warren looked up at him shocked “what, he's not dead?!”

Gibbs only watched him and waited. Then he stood up, went around the table, bent down to him and said “No, he's alive. He's well and he will be happy to see you rot in Leavenworth.”

That freaked Warren out. He jumped up from his chair shouting “they deserved it! All of them!! Yes, I did it and I'm not finished!! Because of them my father nearly never was home! They have to pay for that!”

He tried to attack Gibbs, but Gibbs was faster and pinned him on the floor. Tony ran into the room to help him and handcuff Warren.

As he was secured they got up and Gibbs spat “take him away.”

Tim came too and helped Tony take him to the brig. You stood there and watched the scene and were bare of words. You couldn't believe how someone can hate so much that he wants to destroy the life of foreign people.

Suddenly you were spoken to “penny for your thoughts.” You winced and let the papers you were holding fall to the floor. Immediately you bent down to hastily pick them up and you were joined by Gibbs who was the one that scared you.

“I didn't want to scare you, but you seemed lost in your thoughts.” he said with a slightly guilty tone as he helped you. “Yeah, yeah, I was lost in my thoughts.” you answered distractedly, collected the last documents and stood up.

He stood too and gave you the rest of the papers. Leaning into you, he laid his hand on your shoulder, looked intensively at you and asked “what's up?”

Still startled you only shook your head, but said nothing. He sighed, took your chin into his hand and turned your head to look up at him. Then he asked softly “Y/N, what's up?”

You tried to think, but it simply was not possible. Feeling him so near once again and him being so soft and caring and without any inner walls adding to the observation of the perpetrator…it was too much to process.

You stood there and looked into his wonderful blue eyes as he was looking into yours.

“Tell me. I feel there is something wrong.” he whispered to you. You were lost. Lost in his deep blue eyes. But his closeness calmed you down and soothed you. How should you answer anything that doesn't sound stupid? You tried “I'm shocked.”

“About what?”

“About Warren. How can someone be so full of hate that he destroys the life of so many innocent people? I don't understand,” you breathed.

He laughed briefly “that's the abyss of the human being and it's good that you don't understand. Stay like that.”

The only thing you could do was nodding your consent which made him smile softly, whispering “that's good.”

You felt chosen that he let down all his defense walls when the two of you were alone. Standing there you stared into each other's eyes. Mesmerized, you both began to close the little gap that was between you. Slowly, but continuously each of you leaned to the other. Both your hearts were bumping madly and you were afraid that the other would step back.

“In a few seconds I will finally know how it feels kissing him. Yes! Yes! Yes!” Was all you were able to think. You felt his breath on your lips and you closed your eyes awaiting to feel his lips on yours and then…he leaned back and cleared his throat.

Irritated you opened your eyes to see what's the matter, but he only mumbled

“You've got some lint there,” and stroke over your shoulder.

You stared at him dumbfounded “what?”, but Gibbs just smiled sadly at you. Then he turned around and left the room, leaving you to stay there and not understanding anything.

(To be continued...1 more chapter to go)

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Here you will find the other chapters of this story and the other stories I've written to date.

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Tags: @ilovemark1951, @hobby27, @ladyzombiielove

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#ncis #jethro gibbs x reader #gibbs #leroy jethro gibbs #gibbs x reader #leroy jethro gibbs x reader #ncis fanfiction #ncis x reader #ncis reader insert #leroy jethro gibbs fanfiction #jethro gibbs fanfiction #gibbs fanfiction #jethro gibbs #mark harmon

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perfectfangirl · 6 months ago

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notes after rewatching fallout s1 ep2

• dogmeat's introduction 🥺 • the enclave being shown as supremely evil because how could you incinerate live puppies 😭 • i want more backstory on siggi because i am curious if this is change of heart or like a mole • the super mutant hand needs to go from easter egg to reality next season forreal • i noticed siggi was drinking whiskey? to numb the pain of putting that cold fusion chip in his head--- i also wonder if he was drinking because he knew he wasn't going to make it • saw on reddit someone asking so it's the enclave who has cold fusion? and i'm still a bit confused about that because... i was thinking moldaver had something to do with its creation but then siggi knew exactly who lucy was... if the enclave is supposed to be a continuation of the pre war us government, then it feels like there's more tying the enclave and vault tec together than i thought

• in the escape scene, it seems like the other scientist knew siggi was betraying the enclave, but how? if they have cold fusion, was it obvious he was "stealing" it and trying to give it to someone else? maybe i have gaps in my knowledge here • siggi genuinely does seem like he's trying to do the right thing though 🥲 • dogmeat seeing that guy try to harm siggi and dogmeat fuckin' him up ❤️ • game dogmeat being referred sometimes as a boy and show dogmeat being a girl lol [love the gender doesn't matterism here gldfgld]

• the people who are enslaved work at the enclave being held there and escape meaning death • if these are namibia scenes where lucy is trekking, they are breathtaking, wonderful worldbuilding • lucy seeing a tumbleweed for the first time and going "the heck?" but then i like, remember she doesn't really know what "wind" is 😭 [and this also subverts the "tumbleweed blowing in the wind through a desert or desolate place" trope, i'm sorry but this a masterclass in comedy lmao] • her coming across some bodies but this time skeletons at a dinner table, a family of four i believe, all having taken poison, vault tech brand [a chilling scene but fallout is known for their hilariously placed skeletions so there's one with a cup of dirt in front of it] • probably the first time lucy is being confronted by hank and/or vault tec's lies, depending • lucy setting a [camp] fire, and me recognizing immediately it was a bad move [i watch too much stuff 💀] • i honestly' can't believe she took off her pip boy • dogmeat finding lucy 🥺 • it was destiny in so many ways because dogmeat is tearing that radroach the fuck up • siggi giving like a monologue in the most unsettling voice ever was so funny to me • siggi trying to tell her these animals [if you can call them that] up there are insane and genuinely in the nicest way possible trying to tell her she should go home • "question is, will you still want the same things when you have become a different animal altogether?" is some crazy foreshadowing • the cold fusion capsule glowing as he walks away • lord titus being an asshole and maximus doing the same to thaddeus lmao • lord titus "wanting to shoot something" and his stupidity leading to his own demise • [i like neither lord titus or the actor that plays him so dkfsdkgd] • dogmeat going into the yao guai den and coming back with a hand like it was sharing it with them 😭 • maximus being continuously disrespected and knocked down a peg, he doesn't deserve this 😞 • insane how close and somehow inadvertently hot on the trail lord titus and maximus was for siggi and dogmeat • learning squires appears to be a dime a dozen and that's one reason lord titus sent maximus deeper into the cave, the other is that he was scared • maximus seemed to be both disillusioned and struck with fear watching the yao guai attack lord titus--- so it was almost breathtakingly offensive when lord titus decided to blame maximus for everything and wanting him like, court martialed almost for this incident, despite maximus being small of gun and armourless, despite them both being scared, lord titus blames maximus for lord titus' own failings • "this wasteland fucking sucks!" love that running motif • anyways glad that guy died, next! • lmao this very disgusting man in a diaper or something being thankful lucy didn't shoot him but also drinking all her water 😭 • lucy getting a taste of wasteland selfishness and desperation gdfgdgfd • maximus belongs in a power suit • this chicken fucking man having the elixir to immortality or regeneration or whatever it is 😭 • and the chicken farmer, in a cameo, is a makeup designer and props department person 🙂 • in a beautiful shot, it looks like lucy is in the famous car forest or a replica of it • her trying to be convivial and people just not having it 😢 • filly is very fallout and i assume gamers enjoyed this scene because • everyone is in bizarre and comical mad max style outfits, iguana meat, giving metaton vibes • so i just read filly was named because it's a landfill but also there's the fact it was filmed in an airplane and automobile graveyard outside new jersey [close to philadelphia] and that there is a fillmore, california • also saw where it's modeled to look a lot like megaton and i thought this on first viewing • i didn't even realize cooper was already shown sitting and waiting, the crossing of paths was crazy • lucy seeing degeneracy first hand 💀 • lucy seeing weird shit and smiling because she, too, is weird

• cooper mysteriously and sexily watching from afar after cornering his bounty • "barv get in here" not ma june calling her friend to come and point and laugh at lucy • moldaver being ma june's client and that's why she shuts lucy down so fast after she asks about that pip boy • ma june saying lucy got all ten fingers, damn the writers were so • "i know that it can't have been easy for you up here, what with all the murder and the dirt" lmao lucy please • lucy realising vault tec's demonic saviour complex is very hard to preach about to wastelanders, people who have survived for centuries and without the help of the vaulties • lucy really is from the rich part of town because ma june was so insulted by her lies, she took her gun out • cooper, siggi, lucy intersecting was so crazy though • kind of wondering why siggi didn't wear a disguise as a wanted man • siggi trying to be nice and warning lucy to leave versus ma june harshly reminding cooper him and his ghoul kind aren't wanted in filly • getting chills that siggi is explaining to lucy what her vault experiment basically was as i didn't see it as that on first watch • siggi was telling her to go home because if someone smart realized who she was or where she came from, all hell would break loose • ok so cooper says the bounty went out from all six agencies but i could only think of three, wondering who they all are • ma june mentions she was given caps for siggi's safe transport out of filly, cooper mentioning a bidding war, is that why he shot siggi's leg clean off [probably did because bounty was dead or alive] • ma june getting people clipped by putting caps on whoever can take cooper down first 😭 • cooper smiling as all them people descend on him because this is the "the love of the game" shit he was talkin' bout 😭💀 • "all this murder makin' me hungry" cooper essentially • him eating those cherry tomatoes and then paying for them 🥲 • almost forgot cooper actually did get shot multiple times and kept goin', ghouls are somethin' else • noticing cooper gave ma june a nonlethal leg shot versus basically sending siggi to his demise with his • cooper stabbing not shooting dogmeat • cooper was about to shoot but lucy's candor and morality was a breath of fresh air, he was so shook lmao • he was so charmed, he kept walking, leaving him open to her shooting him in quite literally his heart [ok symbolism] 😭, smiling and everything • "well now that is a very small drop in a very, very large bucket of drugs" lmaooo they created ultrajet for ghouls because jet isn't strong enough for them • lucy being immediately impressed with the t60 • i hate maximus had to lie because this was so "knight in shining armour" but why did he reveal his face to lucy knowing if the brotherhood of steel had found out this early about what he did, he'd be dead meat like • cooper almost shot that girl like three times ldgld • i genuinely think the tranquilizer effected him but just a teensy bit • siggi saying he could still make the trip and ma june saying he'd be lucky to make it to breakfast ☹️ • jim's limbs has be cracking up every time • them installing that robo leg onto siggi is the most gory and disgusting scene to me and i hope it gets worse • something oddly sweet about siggi saying lucy can take him to moldaver after nearly begging lucy to go back home for her own safety, she put her life on the line to save him 😞 • cooper getting mopped by maximus in that power suit sends • i didn't realize after maximus made cooper fall, cooper says "goddamn, that hurt" 😭 • "you drive that thing like a fucking shopping cart" and it's a power suit gldgfld • that snake oil salesman really was telling the truth, he maybe could've healed siggi • cooper petting dogmeat while giving them a stimpak, cooper showing a genuine smile while doing so • siggi really lost too much blood and i thought this back in filly • siggi saying the cynanide pill from vault tec was the most humane thing they produced, pre war was a dark time

#fallout #fallout show #the ghoul #cooper #lucy #maximus #the target #ghoulcy #text post #my meanderings

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chaoticallyfluffy · 2 months ago

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I hope this doesn’t come off as me pressuring you, but I saw you have a fic that says it’s being rewritten, so I’m just wondering if that’s still happening or if you will be discontinuing it?

Again, no pressure. If you don’t want to continue the fic then that is completely understandable and I hope you’re putting yourself first <3

Don't worry, that's not pressuring at all, thank you for being kind and for reading my fic! I'm so happy you liked it enough to ask about it :D (unless you’re just curious and didn’t read it which is also cool!)

It is still happening! I have the draft of the first 7 chapters done and a short outline of the rest (12 chapters planned and 25k words written so far!) but a lot has been happening so I haven't gotten around to finishing them yet. I think the best option for this fic right now is to completely finish drafting the entire thing and then post each chapter as I edit them.

I am also working on many different fics, drawings, animatics, for my main blog and fake tweets for my side blog, as well as real life things like physiotherapy. Not even including my disabilities which make it hard to do very much at all, it's a lot to juggle!

I really enjoy doing all these things (except the disabilities which I could go without) and being able to switch between projects whenever one becomes more of a hassle than a joy. This does make it hard to update things, though, which I'm really sorry about! I decided months ago not to post anything unless I'm 100% finished with at least the draft, but that was my first fic so I hadn't learned that lesson yet when I posted it. There are many other half finished fics just like that one that I will also post someday, I just haven’t posted them yet so I don’t make anyone wait this long again.

It will most likely still be months before I can post the new version unfortunately. I have been slowly chipping away at it and trying my best to make sure it's worth the time you all waited when it is finally released!

Thanks for the ask, and I hope you enjoy it when it eventually comes out!

#My rambles #billy batson #shazam #fanfiction #fanfic

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ping-ski · 3 months ago

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Hewwo!!! :3 I hope you are having an amazing day, here is a whole plate of cupcakes! Would it be possible for you to share a few lore details about your Eclipsed By You AU story? I keep looking at the designs and I am so curious about what will be happening, I would wish to nibble on tiny lore crumbs, pretty please?

ama!! hihi! ! i meant to answer your ask much sooner! anyways, since you asked so nicely (and because i am pathetically weak to any sweets </3) prepare for some SERIOUS yappage under that cut

✦ AuDHD demands that I explain EBY origins before any details but you can totally skip this if you want! (Scroll till you see blue text! :3) So... Eclipsed By You was intended to be au/fic just for myself after work when I first got into DCA. I literally was pantsing a self-insert fic from just gameplay, voicelines, and a collection of scenarios I wrote in my notes app before I actually interacted with the DCA fandom lol. I was already in the process of writing it to be a proper fic and planned to make an AO3 acc to post it! I took some time away from it tho cause I got busy irl. During my break I did start to interact more the fandom! The first proper DCA fic I read was 'Solar Lunacy' by BamSara a few months back as a recommendation from a mutual I had from another fandom. I had told them about my fic idea and they suggested I read the fic as my fic had reminded them of SL. After reading through, I was kind of bummed initially because I really didn't think I had anything unique to offer with my own fic that I was hoping to share. I stopped writing it cause damn comparison truly is the thief of joy. SL and EBY had similar ideas going on and I just didn't feel like it was worth posting my fic cause it didn't feel "special" to me anymore. It was easy to give up since writing is really not my strong suit at all, so then I fell back to just drawing! I only came back to it despite the 19 other DCA aus I have lined up rn cause honestly I remembered that wrote it for my own enjoyment! Why did that have to change? Albeit, I did scrap lots of what I initially wrote and started fresh cause my interpretation of DCA changed. Regardless, EBY was always going to be a self-indulgent DCA/Reader fic taking place at the Pizza Plex. Sure not anything original, but that's just a fact of being a creative in general tbh. I felt silly when I realized that haha. I'm having fun and they make me smile, so who cares if its been done before lol. I still enjoy Solar Lunacy and still am a fan of BamSara! (the cotl content has been fueling me lmao)

✦ Some bits on Eclipsed By You- The main part of your ask lol! ✿ On the au/fic name: I actually stole it from another au (of the many) I have. No particular reason for it! I was writing EBY and that au around the same time and alternated working on the two throughout the day. That au is now nameless (actually it's nicknamed "Messiah" as I type) cause EBY grew onto me for what it is now! ✿ On DCA's designs: This might be kind of disappointing lol but- there isn't much of a lore/plot reason for their designs? They just look that way cause... why not :3 It's also part of just how I interpret DCA into my artstyle. Otherwise, they can be interpreted as the canon designs early on! Atleast until some future upgrades! ✿ When in SB are we? Everywhere /hj. EBY will have some pre-virus and post-virus stuff just for funsies! I'm dying to yap but if I say anymore I will get carried away 100%. ✿ On EBY!Eclipse: For this au, Eclipse is his own "person" you could say. With his own AI and personality chip to pair! Carefully built to be a dedicated host and theater bot. He is, including Sun and Moon, the entertainment <3. They are a singular animatronic in this fic! (like those 3 in 1 soaps except it's DCA /j) ✿ On EBY!Y/N: (EBY is a reader-insert, but intended to be written as gender neutral and an adult.) Y/N gets their own bit of lore and issues that may or may not be the stress/frustration from my 2 irl jobs thinly veiled lmao. They work part-time at the Plex as a general theater staff member! Each week, their tasks rotating between concessions, being an usher, and working along side the theater bots! (Kind of like a theater tech.) This is a part-time job just to keep them afloat while they work on their last bit of certifications and training to be a caretaker! They are pretty passionate about helping those in need. A sweetheart honestly. Though, if you don't like kids, maybe look away. Wholesome moments with the littles and DCA + Y/N is pretty decent with kids themselves. (Lots of projection from my own experiences working with children and elderly, as a caregiver turned caretaker. I kind of want to highlight some of my experiences with Y/N.) ✿ On EBY!Sun and Moon: These two are goofballs alongside Eclipse through and through. They all get to be sweet, soft, and doting I promise. Originally, before scrapping a good chunk of the og writing, EBY had a beloved sweetheart anxous Sun and aggressive Moon who was kind of an asshole(Before the rewrite, EBY felt so different. Like everyone was just tolerating eachother and fragments being held together with glitter glue n' dreams. I am very very glad it's different now lol.) Eclipse stayed fairly consistent though. Sweet house husband that he is. Now, Sun is just as unhinged as Moon (making him just as much as a threat!), but we will persevere with the power of friendship <3 We're gonna have some aloof Sun moments. He takes his job pretty seriously! Some goofy Moon bits who's giggles are light and airy. He is very unserious I fear. They're both trying their best, in their own ways. There's not much I can say rn without spoiling haha. It's hard to stay vague hrm. Or atleast I can't think of anything specific to add right now. (I may be able to answer some specific questions if you have any, my brain is just foggy rn) ✿ I'm simplifying it down to your "typical pizza plex fic" with pre-virus and post-fire shenanigans. I'm sorry if none of that is telling I can't think of anything specific cause I'm pretty sleepy rn so maybe it's a little boring sounding but I love it anyways haha Expect some canon-typical violence and non-sexual intimacy! I have intentions on writing the relationship between Y/N and DCA ambiguous so it can be seen as queerplatonic or romantic. (But this could very easily changed, I'm a shameless robokisser sigh.)

#pingquery #EBY #eclipsed by you #im fighting myself to speak and to also not say a single thing #self control whomst #self insert turned reader insert that is still pretty self indulgent all around #writing is not rlly a passion for me rn but i try anyways!!#i just cant draw every single idea i come up with so its easier to write?? idk it's def not my strong suite lmao #im looking forward to writing dialogue and scenarios ive had stashed away for a while #i hope that made sense im so sleepy rn my eyes are literally blinking at 2 different speeds dear god #again im happy to answer more about EBY that my eepy brain missed

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moonspirit · 30 days ago

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Hello Moon(⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

Hope you're doing well, as much as possible, and I hope you have some time to rest, considering your last weeks...

I'm curious about your vision of AruAni and Ambassadors as a group of their future: for how long do you think they will be diplomats? What will make them leave the title and retire - some major event or, maybe, their age? Do you think, they will remain the Ambassadors till their 50s (for example), or will they retire much earlier? So I would really love to hear your vision of Ambassadors future far, far away from the canon.

Thank you a lot for answering, and have a great *timezone*, many (⁠/⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠(⁠-⁠ω⁠-⁠) and 🖤

Hiiiii anna! :3 I'm okay, somehow, but you're what worries me more! I hope you're doing a bit better T^T

As for the question, thank you :O~ Can't say I've given much thought about it, but it's very interesting, because we stop canon at a point where they're still very early in their Ambassador years, and post-rumbling headcanon-wise (take me, for example), it's mostly about their lives AS Ambassadors, and not after that.

Thinking about it... the answer is angsty, unfortunately xD

(me at myself: boi...)

Personally, I want them all to spend only a few years as diplomats, say, ten (or fifteen maximum), and then stop. Because looking at it realistically, except for the rewarding sensation of helping people and rebuilding the world, I can't see ANY of them actively liking their titles or roles as political figures, be it for peace or the myriad of other responsibilities that come with it. Least likely to enjoy his work is Armin, because as serious as he may be about doing the things he wants to do (like peacekeeping efforts and changing the ideology of hostile nations), it wears him down not least because of the profound guilt he carries and the pressure on his shoulders chipping away at him one bit at a time.

Now, of course this is just a headcanon, but it could work out this way if Armin's able to, simultaneously, work on his inability to say "no" to something he doesn't want to do but is expected to, only because he's the "hero" the world keeps touting and watching for great acts and deeds. Then we'd all be happy. Early retirement! A decade spent toiling, hard at work, and then just stop, leaving the rest to more dependable people. Settle somewhere quiet, travel, see the world, live life slowly and sweetly at last. That'd be good!

Frankly I don't think Pieck would agree to remaining an Ambassador for too long, she simply doesn't seem the type. She's good, oh she's very good, she's saved them a bunch of times from potential political disaster, but... Paradis is not her home. There is nobody she knows on the increasingly militant island nation; despite advocating for peace and working out strategies to keep the chances of another war off Paradis' shores, it still means little to her except for another stop on their voyages by sea. She does her duty, and then, when the time comes, she says that's that.

Perhaps the others will be the same, though they'd announce their retirement in different ways of course haha xD

That'd be good.

But... reality doesn't have to be so nice.

Armin might well be remain a diplomat until his hair greys. Why? No, he doesn't like it anymore with the passage of time.

He just doesn't deserve to stop.

#askies #thank you once again for the ask anna T^T Made me very happy to answer!#annawayne #anna #headcanon #armin arlert #shingeki no kyojin #annie leonhart #attack on titan #snk #aot #reiner braun #connie springer #pieck finger #jean kirstein #ambassadors #alliance

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baladric · 2 months ago

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i've had a lot of weird big developments in my, like. general Personhood in the last 6 months, but one of the deepest and quietest ones is i've stopped identifying as "a musician" or "a singer." if i'm introducing details abt my personhood now, the first thing i lay claim to is "writer" and the second (if it comes up) is "artist"—and i maybe wouldnt even notice this, except i got my current job thru a friend at my old choir job, so i was introduced to this space as A Musician. and now when i'm actually sitting to chat w a person, i mention the writing, and the art, and often receive "gosh, on top of being a musician?! you do it all!!" and i have this really striking moment of cognitive dissonance. bc god, that's not my word anymore, and god, that would shock the person that i was so deeply. bc i had hung so much of myself on that Word, right? i formed all of myself around a profession that had been hurting me deeply since the age of 8. why was i doing that? why was i clinging to it so fearfully for so long?

and sitting here just now, i realized that i was clinging to that concept of myself because i believed, really and truly, that singing was the only thing that made me valuable.

and now what? 24 years after i slapped "SINGER" on my soul and called it proof of an essential worth that should never have been in question in the first place?

now, i have a job that i was immediately and uncomplicatedly good at, where people immediately and uncomplicatedly valued me simply for being warm and curious. now, i have a collection of weird, wonderful friends who want me around even when i'm miserable, which i know bc they will say "man you are so miserable rn, come over here and be wet and pathetic on my couch and i can feed you." now!! now, it's become stunningly easy to know myself as valuable in my entirety, bc i now do so many things for so many people that have nothing to do with music—and even when i do it clumsily or unhappily, i'm still met with gratitude for trying in earnest.

and like obviously that's all huge and wonderful and astonishing, but the most joyous side effect of all rn is that this sense of inherent worth has finally, finally freed me from the paralyzing doubt i've been mired in about my own original fiction. suddenly, i'm in love with my own ideas, and with the process of refining them. i'm in love with my ever-evolving characters and the stories they're here to tell. i'm in love with my willingness to ride out the bad drafts and the dozens of rerolls for scenes that didn't go in the right direction (my scraps doc for Book is 88 pages; Book is 50). like!! for real? for real!!!! i am making things that i am so emotional about, so proud of, so challenged by, and i honestly didn't think i was capable of that at this point. i thought i'd missed the cut-off somewhere along the way. but i didn't, bc i'm here now, chipping away with whole-hearted determination.

just. im sitting here and marveling at having become, quite suddenly, a person who no longer looks at his life and says, "this experiment is unsustainable." bc i did think that. i said to myself almost daily for about 15 years, in this exact phrasing, "i am an unsustainable person." i very sincerely thought i was going to just cease to exist somewhere along the way, in a very undramatic and inevitable way. how miserable is that? how cold is that? how did i bear that for so long?

idk!!! idk, i am just so fucking proud of myself for being who i am now, and im proud of the past versions of me who gritted their teeth through three decades of grief and doubt and violence to get here, and i'm proud of the hard-won willingness to keep changing when it would have been easier in many ways to set myself in stone—and i'm proud of my fucking WRITING, jesus fucking god am i proud of it, i really really cannot wait to share this story 🥹

ok the end, if you read this i am kissing you on the mouth, and if you didn't, i am still kissing you on the mouth, only it's probably a lot more confusing for you bc you don't know why i'm doing that, anyway remember to get yr covid booster + flu shot, ily

#personal #this is overwrought idk byeeee

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divergent-paths · 9 months ago

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I just went on DA to find you (and read all the lato league stuff, younger Alex was a really cute kid) and I was wondering, is there more stuff about Alex than just the lato league comics? It felt like the last one had a lot of references to things I didn't know so I'm curious. Is there maybe a story about how he got the scar? Or will it come up later? (In that case I'm not asking for spoilers btw)(I'm just really curious, the lato league stuff was fun) (wait is Alex in someone else's lato league stuff too then? Gtg check, bye)

Alex doesn't like answering questions about the scar, so have a cameo from Franz & Fubuki (Gramps & Aunt Fuu as Alex usually refers to them), who still seem to feel guilty about it years later lmao

It's another long ramble for this ask, so it's all below the cut~ The tldr is that there is more stuff I've done/drawn, but it's focused on the adults related to Alex, rather than on him directly. The one other story he was witness to (Frostsmitten) is incomplete because of a 1-2 punch depression-burnout combo, but I am looking to work more on it again this year finally.

As for prior stories, Alex is young enough that he's only been the star of one adventure, which was Lato, but there's a number of adults in his life who have been through many crazy shenanigans and he was brought along for grampa's crazy new year's romance in the snow (Frostsmitten), and the planned follow-up (FS2: Freezer Burn). But! While I am currently teasing about old references and such, anything in Divergent Paths that becomes necessary info *will* be explained when the time is right for the story. I like to tease things out to allow people to theorise on the story as they read, but I know eventually you've gotta' come out with a straight answer and that's best done when it finally means something to the characters. So we'll get there!

As for reading the story I mentioned above, well, haaaahhh... It's a tale as old as time. Depression+Burnout destroyed me, and last year (2023) was really the first time in years that I felt any semblance of my old energy, and it's still in process of working back up to those old levels. Frostsmitten (link here) is about 80% done/uploaded, and Freezer Burn has its concepts and timeline done, but no pages drafted yet.

So where does that leave us nowadays... Well, last year I was actually touching the old pages that remained to be finished and chipping away at them when the mood struck me, and I think I'm up to moving along that story this year between posts here on the tumbles. Definitely no schedule though, absolutely no promises, certainly no guarantees. I only end up embarrassing myself and disappointing people when I say 'it'll be out on xx date!' :'D

Anyways, I've rambled on long enough I think :'D Thank you for the interest in my other works, I really do appreciate it. It's not an exaggeration to say that everyone's comments, compliments and excitement is giving me life here. <3

#ajks #character qna #op art talk

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karliahs · 6 months ago

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okay i have a couple of fic concepts for royal that I don't know if I'm ever actually going to write so I'm getting them out here

i feel like you could do a lot of interesting stuff with actualization and ren's parents. one concept is the gang are prepping for infiltration and ren's phone keeps buzzing but he never answers it and is all tense and cagey when asked about it.

everyone else is curious but respects his privacy. akechi steals his phone, sees it's his parents calling and starts needling him about it. bc of who he is as a person

tense convo ensues. one of the other PTs guesses that ren doesn't want to answer bc it might be one of maruki's wishes. ren is like yeah. if it wasn't one of maruki's wishes they wouldn't be calling at all. big oof.

and that in itself is kind of a self-contained idea, or could be continued with ren eventually either answering or listening to a voicemail of them offering forgiveness and love he knows isn't real

BUT I also imagine him eventually picking up just to tell them to stop calling at least. and then everyone watches as his face goes totally still. they weren't calling to apologise, it's ren's mother calling bc his dad is sick and doesn't have a lot of time left so they want him to come home

and ren gets maddddd. won't talk to anyone until he tracks down maruki, who allows himself to be tracked down for what he thinks might be a successful round of Convince Ren to Accept This Reality

ren is furious. maruki insists he had nothing to do with this, this was always going to happen. but of course. he would certainly be happy to use actualization to return ren's father to good health. or even bring him back if it came to that. expressing what seems like genuine sorrow for ren and this "needless tragedy" but also shamelessly using his family as a bargaining chip to blackmail this child

so, maruki asks, will ren accept this reality? I don't think ren says anything at all, just calls a persona and launches his most powerful attack at maruki, who's vanished before it can hit

and after they leave the palace the gang is like...we need to talk about this. ren says there's nothing to talk about, nothing has changed.

rest of the gang is like. I mean we're not telling you to accept his deal but something has changed. we should at least talk about the fact that he's threatening us more directly now, do we believe him that he had nothing to do with ren's father getting sick? (reluctantly yeah, that doesn't seem to fit within their understanding of maruki's powerset)

someone asks if maruki could even use actualization to cure a disease. (theoretically yeah, if ren's father wants to see himself as healthy than maruki could grant that wish.)

ren says again that it doesn't matter. how would they ever be able to know for sure that maruki actualized that by actually removing the physical disease - he could just make it that nobody noticed the symptoms anymore. and if he dies, maruki can just spring up another one

ren says he's not going to let maruki get away with turning real people in his life into puppets created to please him (the idea of being a puppet who only exists to please other people hits v close to home for this boy). he appreciates what the PTs are trying to do but he could never accept that and it makes him furious that maruki would even try

and akechi is just sitting there like i feel nothing about any of these statements. nobody look at anything my face is doing against my will

there's a lot I'd need to figure out to actually write this (whose pov is it even in for instance) and I want to tackle some more WIPs first. but I am just rotating it in my mind. partly just as another venue for exploring like...let ren get mad at maruki. let him have a feeling. maruki used him and I don't think we ever really get to dig into that

I have another WIP trying to explore similar concepts but it involves writing a lot of akechi and I'm weirdly nervous about it lol. he's so many people's primary blorbo you know. not sure I'll do it justice. tbh the more I think about the above idea the more I like it in akechi pov, which would be a big challenge for me but an interesting one maybe. hmmm

#talking #p5 posting #(smacks my own hand away from new concepts) Luca Your WIPs

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yukipri · 2 years ago

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The Bad Batch Season 2 - Mid-Season Eps 7 & 8 Spoilers & Thoughts

Ranted it out on twitter last night and forgot to share here.

LOT of thoughts this time

Major Spoilers beneath cut!

Really trully phenomenal writing, so much more than I expected to be said so explicitly. Open discussion of clones' rights, their futures, their lack of personhood under both the Republic and the Empire, even the threat of decommissioning.

What we always knew, what we wanted explicitly addressed in mainstream canon, stated by the clones themselves. Truly ecstatic about these episodes.

Absolutely loved the confirmation that yes, this is what Rex has been doing all along. We saw it implied with Gregor in S1, but it's so good to see it clearly stated, and to see him in action. It makes me hope he got Cody out too.

It also made me crave a show dedicated entirely to this fight. I once again understand and am okay with the TBB centering solely around the Batch. But it's hard not to be anxious knowing what all the other clones are facing. Which makes me understand Echo even more.

Echo's decision. I knew it would come to a boiling point, trusted it would. I'd hoped that Echo would convince Hunter + co to care, but they have their own priorities. I love Echo more bc he decided he couldn't walk away.

He said that his place was with the Batch, and I like to think that he found some kind of home with them. But unlike the rest of them, he sees the rest of the clones as his brothers too. I hope this isn't the last we see of him, but I know he is loved and respected with Rex.

These episodes were a wealth of nostalgic locations, and seeing each one caused such a beautiful ache. I love all the lush new planets explored in the other episodes, but Coruscant felt like coming home.

The specific locations: 79s, the Senate building, Riyo's room that looks so much liked Padmé's, the Martez sisters' place, the clone memorial, the lower levels, even the star destroyer, the stunning of the troops specifically evoking S7's finale. Everything the same but different.

We didn't get to see all of these places with the new graphics, bc TCW S7 only had 4 arcs and TBB S1 covered a lot of newer locations. But gosh what a treat. It was all so beautiful, both aesthetically and metaphorically. Defs need to rewatch so many times to truly appreciate.

Rampart's fall surprised me, bc I did feel he's the lone Big Bad of the show so far, the true embodiment of anti-clone. He's done a lot of unforgivable things and having Palps lock him up isn't satisfying, even if it was surprising. I unfortunately doubt that's the last we've seen of him, though who knows. I admittedly don't care too much either way, but if he's gone, it'll be interesting to see who steps into the next "main antag" shoes, bc I doubt it's Palps himself.

IAN MCDIARMID.

TRULY THE KING.

(or should I say, Emperor)

RIYO.

I'm so glad to see her again

(also, apparently I've been saying her first name wrong all this time??? Am I the only one who's been saying Ree-yo when it apparently shoulda been Rai-yo?)

Rex had his tiddies uncovered the whole time and I was so concerned he'd get shot. i mean he's the only chara guaranteed to live, and I'm also glad he's got a better disguise, but dear please wear some protection

(but yeah ngl it's nice that we got to see him armorless with the beefier new model. I am still remembering TCW Saleucami and thinking my gosh this man is a STICK he is STARVED they ALL ARE. I am always for adding more beef to clones.)

Really curious where they're going with the chips brainwashing the clones. Both Rex and Wrecker appeared conscious of the whole time they were under, trying and unable to stop and remembering it afterwards.

Yet other clones seem to be gradually "waking up," even though many of them likely should have been equally horrified at the moment O66 went live. Rex and the Batch aren't exceptions being Good Guys, the vast majority of the clones are extremely loyal and honorable.

Makes me wonder if after an extended time under the chip's control, that feeling of wrongness/fighting against it fades, until it seems the new ordinary? But then the more time passes, the Order weakens, and they're able to feel more discrepancies, hence the desertions?

The clone assassin definitely seemed super "under" an Order, extremely Off and not himself, like what I'd imagine a freshly O66 clone to be like. Which makes me further curious that Rampart had him (and presumably more like him) under his control. We'll have to see!

But yeah, to conclude: Cody didn't die! (didn't show up!) Named clones I cared about too much in the few minutes we had them DID die and I am still sad but, it could have been worse.

Also huh, not even a glimpse of Crosshair? (feeling a wee bit bad for his fans, that out of the first 8 eps, he's only in one of them...hopefully the next one will be about him ^ ^; )

#TBB #the bad batch #YukiPri rambles #spoilers #the bad batch spoilers #tbb spoilers #tbb s2 spoilers #the bad batch season 2 spoilers

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dustinslovehandles · 7 months ago

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Hi. I love your thoughts regarding last night’s interactions between all three of our boys.

In my mind, Chuck is still processing everything. He jumped in to prevent any potential attacks from Trent.

Yet he can’t make himself side with either one of them. Especially playing neutral.

I really hope AEW doesn’t drop the ball with this storyline. I am curious how the chips will fall.

Which side will/would Rocky take? Will Kris, after that interaction last week, side with Trent or Orange?

Also, I’m ALWAYS a fan of someone punching Jericho.

Hey, thanks for the ask! =D

That's a good point, Chuck might just still be processing. Both him and Trent had a very hard to decipher look on their faces. They didn't give much away. It feels weird saying this, but for once, I think Orange was the most expressive out there.

If Chuck jumped in to prevent any potential attacks from Trent, that means that on some level he was expecting one, because otherwise he wouldn't have been lurking around the ring. Which is interesting. But Trent came alone and didn't exactly have weapons or anything. Hard to tell what they both were thinking!

I know what you mean with hoping AEW doesn't drop the ball on this. That is my biggest fear. I can take the Best Friends gang being split up, or even all going their separate ways for a bit. Just as long as they get the proper time and storyline they deserve. Hopefully when AEW see how invested the fans are in them, they'll get more time to shine.

Rocky is an interesting one, isn't he? I was half expecting Trent to go back to him for support/comfort. But they seem to be having Rocky do his own thing and acting like he isn't part of this at all. I'm not sure how I feel about that, to be honest. As for Kris, I just hope she gets to play a proper part in this story and not just be pushed aside from the rest of the gang, like she has been lately.

So many exciting ways this could go and honestly, I'll be happy if it just gets to go -somewhere-, you know?

#chuck taylor #trent beretta #orange cassidy #best friends #best breakup

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the-haunted-office · 3 months ago

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🍁 + What's Thursday and Septembers story?

Send 🍁 + Any question you’ve been curious to know about my muse!

Oh, thank you so much for sending this in, I'm excited to get to talk about this!

Thursday and September met as coworkers at ABC Corp, where Thursday was Employee #217 and September was Employee #432.

They first met in the fourth floor employee lounge, where Thursday - then known as Charlotte, so I'll refer to her as such going forward - was nosing around in search of more caramel macchiato creamer containers because they had run out on her floor. September - then known as Vincent, still using he/him publicly at the time - was alone in the employee lounge at that time, because many of the other employees wanted nothing to do with her as a result of the experiments being run on her, and on the other employees. More on this in a moment.

Things were awkward for Vincent at first, but Charlotte chatted him up like it was no big deal. She found the creamers she was looking for and left not too long after, but Charlotte liked talking to Vincent and kept coming back to find him and talk to him.

Vincent was very shy and kept to himself. He was the target of relentless cold-shouldering and backhanded bullying from his coworkers because of the illicit psychological experiments being run by ABC Corp. Pretty soon after being hired by the company, Vincent was relegated to Dedicated Pencil Sharpener, and was mind controlled via the chip installed in his neck to sharpen pencils all day as his job, but given no pencils. All pencils were removed from the building, and he was told there never were pencils in the building when he asked for them. He tried to sneak them into the building, only to have them taken away and then again told that there never were any pencils. His coworkers were all mind controlled to look down on him for this as well, and management to reprimand him, though he was never fired. This took place every day over the course of nine years.

Because of this, it was very difficult for Vincent to trust Charlotte with anything, but eventually he opened up to Charlotte about the pencils. Charlotte was the first and only employee to believe him. Nobody knew it at the time, but Charlotte's chip was non-functional. The mind control machine and the instructions attempted to program her never worked for her, meaning she was free the whole time. Charlotte tried to sneak pencils into the building for Vincent, but those too were taken away. She tried to plot ways of getting pencils to Vincent and exposing what was going on, only to be thwarted at every turn.

Eventually Vincent grew comfortable enough to open up to Charlotte about his sexuality and true feelings about his gender as well. Charlotte started referring to Vincent as she/her, and started helping her pick out names for herself too, since Vincent had been having trouble deciding. Charlotte's mother had been named April, and Charlotte loved the name September. She dropped the name in passing once and Vincent soaked it up like a sponge, and picked it for herself. From that day forward, she began calling herself September between the two of them, and Charlotte did too.

Feelings deepened and grew between the two of them, but both were too shy to say anything. September never had much courage for such things, and Charlotte didn't either, having always been afraid of ruining friendships over speaking up over her romantic feelings towards them. So they were kind of both dancing around their feelings, and never got a chance to say anything when the Dampening mist struck. The Office was sealed with the mist inside of it, almost all of the employees were killed, including September, whose soul became trapped inside the belly of the mist. Only Thursday and Stanley survived, who were both taken as hosts by the mist, where Thursday became a Narrator and Stanley became the Protagonist. Thus, the Parable began.

During the Parable, September was trapped inside the mist, where she and many of her coworkers' souls were digested by it for energy. During the digestion process, most souls vanish for good. Sept, however, underwent a very rare mutation process instead, and her soul became entangled with the energy byproduct that is produced by the mist when it digests a soul. She became what's known as a Benign Reaper, the same was what Doomsday was before she was revived. As a Reaper, Sept has bonded with 42 other souls (not all of them human) and takes on an enormous, monstrous form, which consists of various parts of those other souls she has bonded with. She can temporarily look more human, but it's difficult for her to maintain this form, and so she often slips back into the more monstrous form.

For a while, before Sept could take on a more corporeal form, she was only able to communicate with others via electronics. Like all 432s, this was mostly via computers, where she famously asked people to input the time and to adjust sliders. She was terribly violent and easy and quick to anger. Would lash out easily. She suffers heavily from unreality and has a hard time telling when others are lying to her, and so automatically distrusts everyone. For a period of time she couldn't trust Thursday either, and for a period of time when Thursday was infected by the mist, Thursday had no memory of Sept. They were both enemies during this period of time, where Sept even killed her a couple of times.

Eventually Thursday got her memories back and she was able to help Sept too by helping her feel more comfortable in the Office. It did take a while to build that trust back up between them, but Thursday was patient with Sept.

Sept has terrible self image that she hides behind caustic and dry remarks, especially now being a Reaper and having little control over what she looks like, but she has gotten more used to it. Thursday doesn't care what she looks like and doesn't bat an eye at all to the fact that Sept has like 40 faces sticking out of her body and that her skin is melting and she has no eyes and a bunch of other horrors. And Sept doesn't care that Thursday is fat and likes to fart and pop pimples and joke about toilets all the time and is just plain stupid sometimes. Sept will find Thursday hiding up on the roof from her because she wants to stay up all night trying to finish a 400 page book in one night, and rather than just go to bed, she'll jump off the roof rather than be found out. And Sept will sit there and let Thursday pop a bunch of fake pimples on her back because she knows Thursday loves it. They're both a couple of dorks and they love each other immensely and I love them for it. x3

There's more to it, but this was already long enough, so I hope this wasn't too long, but I hope it also tells enough of the story! And again thank you for asking!

Also there might be typos because I haven't proofread this yet. >>

#anonymous ask #septday #thank you for the ask!#⭐ Thursday #🧸 September

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