#I'm baaaaaack!!!

[murkybu]

haiiii guys haiiiii

[bestfriend-confidant-sillyrabbit]

Head empty

[the-sinking-ship]

Never Mind the Bollocks by The_Sinking_Ship

Pairing: Draco/Harry

Rating: E

Wordcount: 118K

Collection: H/D Erised 2023, @hd-erised

Tags: found family, friends with benefits, slow burn, they were roommates, reluctant celebrity Harry Potter, not-so-reluctant celebrity Draco Malfoy, clubbing, drinking, smoking, drugs, parties, running from the cops, Harry rides a skateboard, jealousy, action, banter

Characters: Hermione Granger, Pansy Parkinson, Blaise Zabini, Viktor Krum, Oliver Wood, Ron Weasley, Luna Lovegood, Ginny Weasley, George Weasley, Seamus Finnegan, Astoria Greengrass, Dean Thomas, OCs (seriously, the gang's all here)

Summary:

If someone told Harry six months ago that by autumn he would be single, living on whisky and toast, and dancing the night away with Draco Malfoy, he would have told them to get their head checked.

And yet, here he was.

Notes: This fic was written for @shiftylinguini as a part of the Erised 2023 gift exchange! Big thanks to my betas @mintawasalreadytaken and @drarrymyheart for corralling this monster and the Erised mods for their patience and hard work.

READ ON AO3

[sugawarassoulmate]

parenting with husband bully!osamu and husband loser!kuroo

[yanderecookierunkingdom]

The Final Sunset

Previous | First | Next

When you finally come to, it feels as if you've been asleep for about five months. In reality, it's probably just been a day or two, considering the pure shock you went through.

Your eyes slowly fluttered open, and you felt a gentle hand on your shoulder.

"Easy, Your Majesty," spoke a familiar but gentle voice spoke.

Your eyes fluttered more before you croaked out, "Buddha's Hand Cookie..?"

"And Orchid Mantis Cookie," the familiar voice assured you.

There were gentle footsteps, and a caring hand helped you sit upright. A glass of what was probably liquid, soda perhaps, was placed to your lips, and you drank. Your throat felt better than before, and soon enough your vision was cleared.

On either side of you was Buddha's Hand Cookie and Orchid Mantis Cookie. Both looked at you with expressions of worry.

"Your Majesty, do you feel well?" Orchid Mantis Cookie spoke first, her voice tinged with concern. "You've been out for about five days."

.. scratch that, it has been a while.

"I don't feel.. all there," you admitted, placing a hand to your forehead. "It feels as if my head is full of cotton."

"Perhaps we should postpone the meeting with Espresso Cookie," Buddah's Hand Cookie spoke at Orchid Mantis Cookie, making her nod.

"Meeting?" You piped in.

"Espresso Cookie wished to discuss some.. developments with you." The female Cookie winced a bit. "The Frost Cookie that attacked you and Caramel Arrow Cookie has been caught. With glass tempered by Pitaya Dragon Cookie's fire, it cannot escape. And there is a Cookie who.. wishes to speak with you."

You went quiet at that. You rubbed your temples for several moments before murmuring, "I'll go. It's.. its the least I can do. Everyone has been up and about, while I've been unconscious. I need to help them."

As you stood from your bed and made your way to the closet, Buddha's Hand Cookie spoke, "Your Majesty, if I may.. you don't need to push yourself. You went through something incredibly traumatizing, after all."

"I want to," you gently assured him, grabbing a cloak and slipping it on. You put on your boots as well.

The two Cookies behind you shared a look before nodding in acquisition. Orchid Mantis Cookie spoke up, "Mala Sauce Cookie is standing guard outside the door. She and I have been assigned as your guards."

"And Buddah's Hand Cookie?" You raised an eyebrow as you looked over your shoulder.

"To help you process what has happened," he answered dutifully.

You paused before sighing. ".. fair enough."

You finished getting ready, and walked out the room with the other two Cookies trailing behind you. When Mala Sauce Cookie spotted you, she was quick to wrap you up in a warm hug.

No words were spoken, but the comfort was appreciated. Once she pulled away, you nodded, and your group began to walk through the halls of the palace. Sugar Gnomes and other Cookies rushed about, occasionally greeting you.

When you were walking down the grand hall, to the doors, familiar Cookies ran up.

"READER COOKIE!"

Four Cookies (Gingerbrave, Custard Cookie III, Strawberry Cookie, and Wizard Cookie) ran up to you and pounced upon you in a hug. Burying their faces wherever they could, bodies trembling.

You knelt down and hugged them close, squeezing your eyes shut. You feel practically feel their fear, their worry, their terror.

.. it wasn't fair. They were just kids. It wasn't fair for them to be going through this. They should have never gone through it! They should have never gone through any of whay they had!

They're kids, damn it! Why was life so cruel, why was it taking childhoods away from them-?!

Everyone jolted when a raging howl of wind came from the outside, and the windows rattled from the force. Frost began to creep up, before it was forced away by the torches near the glass.

".. we should get moving before it gets worse," Mala Sauce Cookie spoke, her voice grave.

You nodded and stood up. You placed a hand on Gingerbrave's head. "Go hang out in my room until I come back, okay?"

The younger Cookies seemed reluctant, but they agreed with nods and little "okays". They each hugged you one more time before they rushed off to your room.

With a nod, you resumed walking.

Buddah's Hand Cookie lingered for a moment, eyeing the window with a trouble look. As the wind slowly died back down to what it had been, he followed after the trio ahead.

But not before sending one more worried glance.

You didn't know what to expect when you arrived to Espresso Cookie's lab. You expected him, yes. Pure Vanilla Cookie was a bit of a surprise, but you could also understand that.

What was a shock, was the Cookie inside of the glass confinement.. and outside of it too. You were the first to round the corner, after all. So none had time to warn you.

Guest artist - Arsenic Anon!

She was beautiful, was your first thought. She carried herself with an air regality, poise and control. Even as tears streamed down her face, looking into the glass cage with an expression so pained that it even hurt you.

Mala Sauce Cookie's confused "who?" made her turn her head.

A somber smile spread on her lips. "Greetings," she spoke in a gentle voice. It was so motherly, so tender and full of care despite her obvious pain that it made your heart ache.

"Hello," you greeted her as you walked in. You dipped your head. "I'm Reader Cookie, the ruler of the Cookie Kingdom."

"I am Empress Cosmos Cookie of the Sugarstar Empire." The Cookie, who you now knew as a fucking Empress, meaning she triumphed your own rule, fucking bowed to you.

"I apologize with all my heart for what my child has done."

Everyone in the room stopped.

"Your.. child?" Pure Vanilla Cookie echoed.

"Yes." Cosmos Cookie's voice wavered as she stood back upright. "Its name is Arsenic Cookie and.. and they are my child. We are not related by jam, but they are mine all the same. To see what they have become, it.." Her voice broke. "It hurts. And to know that they have harmed others, when I know it would never wish that upon the innocent is-"

She choked back a small noise and cleared her throat. "Ah, p-pardon me. I'm.. I'm getting worked up."

Your expression was gentle as you listened.

That's why she looked so pained. This was her child, for Witches' sake. She'd.. she'd basically lost her child.

"I.. I am so sorry," you murmured as you walked over and took her hands into yours.

"Don't be." Cosmos Cookie closed her eyes. "This.. this is no one's fault."

"As heartwarming as this is," Espresso Cookie interrupted, "we do have more pressing matters."

At all the nods, Cosmos Cookie spoke. "I would like to join you in your efforts to understand and cure the Frost. I don't want Cookies to suffer, and I want my child back."

Your eyebrows raised in surprise, but your look melted to one of understanding. A mother and a ruler wanting to help any that she could. She reminded you of yourself.

"Of course," you agreed, and she smiled in thanks.

With that out of the way, Espresso Cookie spoke again, "With that taken care of, I believe we should focus on interviewing some of the newly arrived residents from the other cities. It would be beneficial to figure out if the Frozen are any different from our area."

Pure Vanilla Cookie frowned. "But wouldn't it also be beneficial to focus more on our supplies? With so many new Cookies and no doubt refugees from other kingdoms, surely we should focus on that?"

As the conversation between everyone began, you spared a look behind you to the Frozen in the glass box. Or, well, Arsenic Cookie as you now knew them.

They seemed completely oblivious to whatever was going on. Perhaps all the fire about was disorienting them.

Your expression turned sympathic. .. you were still upset about Caramel Arrow Cookie, yes, but.. maybe you shouldn't be so angry.

With that, you furrowed your eyebrows.

* This choice will affect many futures. Choose and decide what will help the kingdom survive.

* Buddah's Hand Cookie, Orchid Mantis Cookie, Mala Sauce Cookie, and Cosmos Cookie have joined your party!

* Buddah's Hand Cookie and Orchid Mantis Cookie's infection rates are currently UNKNOWN.

* Mala Sauce Cookie and Cosmos Cookie are IMMUNE. Use this to your advantage.

taglist: @speadrunner / @haveneulalie / @queensharotto / @imaginarydreams / @luv-sorrow

Orchid Mantis Cookie - @valioz

Buddha's Hand Cookie - speadrunner

Cosmos Cookie - mine!

Arsenic Cookie - Arsenic Anon

Please comment on this if you wish to be tagged! My comments are bugging out on old posts. :/

[harrietwritesstuff]

Angstober 2024 - Day 18: Falling Stars

“What would you wish for?” Volodymyr’s voice is faded even in the lamplight. It hits his face, his eyes turned to gold.

“Hm?”

“Wish upon a star. What would you wish for?”

For this to end. (For this, with you - to never end).

For you to laugh. (With me, somewhere away from here).

For you to smile. (The way you used to, what feels like a lifetime ago now).

Before he has a chance to reply, the siren screams again. Maksym feels it tear through Vova as he quivers in his arms.

If I told you it wouldn't come true.

[thscdefinitelycorrect]

[slicedcat]

"Are you happy to see me...and my jugs?" - Smug Jug Chan 😏🏺(pt. 2 traditional edition)

[stelloulas]

manchester baby !!

[julietasgf]

next week my classes start again I'm going insane

[just-barrow]

SAS: shitposts 274/∞

[kitakami-zorua-kin]

where the hell is he? ugh, moron left his computer running -

Rotomblr...? Is this what he's been wasting all his time on? No wonder he's only a trial trainer now, he should be spending time training, not wasting a spot he doesn't deserve here...

[overqchiever]

I'M DYING. BENEDIKT HAS HAD THIS PULLED ON HIM BY EVERYONE HE KNOWS

[lysenfeu]

[miyagi-hokarate]

You're telling me a chicken fried this rice

[lightasthesun]

what do you call a pile of cats?🐈🐈‍⬛🐱

Uhm!! Uh!! I think—

I don't know 😐 😂 what do you call it?? @bellamyblakru