#I'm assuming everyone knows she's pregnant
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The Baby Race
Group Chat: MC's Harem
MC: So...what if I were to say that I wanted a baby?
Rafayel: DIBS!
Xavier: You can't call dibs on being the father Raf
Zayne: Are you being serious or is this some internet trend you're playing again?
MC: I'm serious. I really want to be a mom and I think now is a good time to start trying
Rafayel: DIBS! DIBS! DIBS! I AM CALLING DIBS!
Zayne: If you are serious about this then I can only assume you've chosen who you want to be the father
Rafayel: Do not worry! Daddy is on his way!
Xavier: Can you be any more desperate? At least let her say who she wants to be the father first
Xavier: But I can be there in 15. Just throwing that out there
MC: I don't really mind who it is. I guess you can say it is a first come first serve basis??
Zayne: In that case I'm going to start tracking your ovulation patterns to figure out when you are most likely to conceive. We should also start prepping things like prenatal care and the like as well
Rafayel: So we are all in competition to get you pregnant first?
MC: It is NOT a competition. I'd be happy to have babies with all of you one day but we gotta start somewhere
Zayne: We should look into everyone's health history to decide who may produce the healthiest offspring
Rafayel: Well we all know that me and MC's genes will produce the most beautiful and talented babies, so again: DIBS!
MC: And again, you cannot call dibs
Xavier: Sylus has been strangely absent from the group chat. Is he even awake?
Rafayel: That's rich coming from you, sleeping beauty. But yeah, weird that he isn't answering with such big news
Sylus: I am aware of the situation. Do not worry, everything is well in hand
Sylus: Now kitten, if you could unlock the door that'd be great
MC: Oh my god! Are you at my house already?
Sylus: Is this your front door?
Sylus: Then yes
Rafayel: That's cheating!
Sylus: First come first serve boys. Better luck next time.
#the stupid ideas continue!#you know sylus got that text and immediately booked it out of the house to get there first#love and deepspace#lads mc#lads rafayel#lads sylus#lads xavier#lads zayne
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Want my friends and family to be concerned when we announce that I'm pregnant. I've always been so adamant that it would never happen to me, my dysphoria being too strong. You'll laugh and say it was an accident, wrapping your arm possessively around my shoulder and saying that I'm keeping it.
No one says anything as my body slowly feminizes, not wanting to make me feel bad about having to go off testosterone for the baby. They're all pretty sure it's more than just pregnancy hormones, it's almost like I'm deliberately trying to look more feminine. But I seem happy enough, so no one mentions it when my hair starts growing long and start shaving all my body hair off
It doesn't help that you're always by my side, talking about how excited we both are to be parents, how wonderfully the pregnancy is going. We get a couple concerned looks whenever you call me the mom-to-be, but I just smile and laugh so it must be fine, right? Surely we talked about this and I'm OK with it
Soon enough I'm wearing exclusively maternity dresses, more often than not low cut ones that show off my breasts which have grown significantly with the pregnancy. We just couldn't find anything else that fit, you explain to our friends who don't fully believe you, but i don't seem too bothered by it so they let it go. Soon some of them start slipping up, accidentally misgendering me. It's an honest mistake every time, its just that well... I really don't look like a man anymore. You laugh and say it's ok whenever they apologize, saying that I'm used to it since strangers see a pregnant person and automatically assume they're a woman.
It's right before the baby comes that you start posting a bunch of cutesy couple photos showing off my warped body, all using my dead name and calling me she/her. Everyone sees it, and everyone talks about it. Some saying they can't believe this, that I'd always seemed so happy as a man. Others saying they'd seen it coming in how I acted over my pregnancy. Some are concerned, worrying if this is really what I want, but surely I would say something if I didn't want this so they leave it be
It's after the baby comes that I officially tell people I'm no longer a man. Well, you tell people for me. I'm just soo busy with the baby and recovery, after all. And if I seem stressed or upset, it's just me getting used to motherhood. Totally not because of anything else
Little do they know, you poked holes in the condom to get me pregnant all with the goal of turning me into your perfect wife. I never wanted any of this, never wanted to be a woman, but you slowly but surely wore me down and changed my body forever. Convinced all our friends that this is what i wanted, that it was my choice. How could I ever explain to everyone that my perfect loving doting partner tricked me, forced this upon me? No one would ever believe me
You're already planning on putting the next baby in me
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Anyway Mouthwashing spoilers
I'm turning Curly over in my head for the narrative punishment he's put through. Like you could you COULD interpret him as a pure victim, framed for Jimmy's crime and forced to suffer in skinless silence while his assailant gets to assume his role but it's more than that, to me. It's not just Jimmy bad Curly good. It's Curly's enablement of Jimmy that sets all of this in motion and, now, how will you take Responsibility, Curly?
It's Curly's "I've known Jimmy a long time. He'll listen to me." It's Curly's brand of leadership that hinges more on being seen as a good leader than on actually taking action. Because being seen as a good leader requires everyone to like him and that's more important to him than actually protecting Anya from Jimmy.
You could say "Jimmy just had everyone fooled into thinking he was a decent guy" except no you can't, because Anya hid the gun from him knowing Jimmy may go ballistic learning she's pregnant with his baby. And she hides the gun because Curly wouldn't. "Why do they have locks on medbay and the cockpit but not in the sleeping quarters?" Anya asks to Curly. Curly knows Jimmy raped Anya but his brand of I Need To Be Liked leadership asserts that Jimmy deserves a seat at the table of this solution. Curly won't do anything. He won't do anything even when he says he'd do anything.
And this is even after Jimmy tore into Curly with left-field accusations about the crew being laid off being something Curly wanted. All the evidence we have says the whole crew is being let go, Curly along with everyone, but Jimmy turns on him and makes it out like Curly wanted this and Curly is the enemy to everyone else on the ship. Curly won't stand up for himself. He won't shut Jimmy down. Swansea holds onto the axe because when locked up the axe requires the Captain to unlock, and maybe Swansea recognizes he's on a ship with a Captain who would not use the axe on the man who needs it.
Curly never wanted anything bad to happen. He never tried to hurt anyone. He never crashed the ship. But he's the one person who could have shut Jimmy down for every horrible sign and action along the way and he didn't he didn't he didn't he didn't. And the very first time he tries to intervene is when it's too little too late. HE gets eviscerated. He gets all his skin burned off. Because of what Jimmy did, but because of what Curly allowed.
And now his chance to act as Captain is gone. His chance to do right is gone. Jimmy is captain now and everyone who knows he's a monster is no longer capable of acting against him. And now skinless voiceless eternally watching, Curly has to lie in his own blood and bear witness to what Jimmy is doing, to everything he enabled. At Jimmy's mercy now like all the others, who physically beats him now and who is there to stand up for Curly? Enable. Enable enable enable.
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Tradition.
Cregan Stark x Pregnant!reader
Summary: the reader and Cregan go to King's Landing to support her nephew, Luke's, Velaryon claim. She goes into early labor away from the North.
Warnings: Aegon is his own warning, body shaming, talks of brothels and stuff, labor, blood, death, fighting, all that stuff.
A/n: Based on an ask! I'll proofread later 😭
Masterlist
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Cregan held out his hand to help his very pregnant wife out of the carriage.
He absolutely hated riding by carriage. It seemed pointless when you could ride a horse instead. But when summoned to King's Landing by King Viserys with his Targaryen wife to join the rest of her family, he had to guarantee her safety on the travel by any means necessary.
Alicent's face lit up at the sight of her daughter, practically running over Cregan to get to her. She embraced the pregnant woman tightly, "Oh, my love! How you've changed!"
Y/n hugged her mother back just as firmly with a smile, "I've missed you, mother."
Alicent pulled away and admired her grown girl, "King's Landing is better with you here." Only then did Alicent notice Cregan, "Oh. Lord Stark."
Cregan bowed his head politely, "My queen."
"Cregan has been eager to see King's Landing again," Y/n chirped in, "He has only been a few times."
Alicent's brows lifted, "Really? I wouldn't have thought that."
He nodded, "I could've been patient enough to wait until after the birth, but alas, when the King calls, you answer."
Alicent gave a forced smile, "Right. Of course. The birth." She looked to her daughter, "How far along are you, my dear?"
"Nearing eight moons now," she said nervously with a hand on her swollen stomach.
Alicent didn't miss the equally nervous and protective look in Cregan's eyes.
…
Dinner that night was beyond tense.
What was joy for Viserys was misery for everyone else.
Watching the king decay at the table and the rest of them squabble over trivial matters that seemed of great importance.
"A toast to the young princes and their betrothed."
Aegon leaned over to his nephew Jace, "Well done, Jace. You'll finally get to lie with a woman."
A glare was sent his way by Jace and Baela.
Y/n caught on and quickly looked to Aemond, who sipped his wine with no reaction.
"You do know how the act is done, I assume?" Aegon continued. "At least, in principle. Where to put your cock and all that?"
Jace's jaw clenched, "You can play the jester if you wish, but hold your tongue before my betrothed."
"Aegon." Y/n hissed through her teeth across the table.
His head immediately snapped to his sister in annoyance, "What?"
"Let it alone."
He scoffed lightly, "What do you mean? I'm only asking." He gained a grin, "It's not like I have to ask Lord Stark that. Look at the state of you!" He gestured to her swollen belly.
Cregan's grip on his fork tightened, turning his knuckles white.
She placed a hand over her stomach and grimaced, "At least I was able to find a husband that wanted me. Mother had to force you to marry the only girl around, and that was Helaena."
Aegon gave an incredible glare, one that his sibling shot back.
Aemond became amused.
"Let us not fight at the table," Alicent reprimanded lightly.
Y/n looked to Jace, who gave a small nod of gratitude.
Silence filled the room until the King's long monologue of the need for peace in the house.
Rhaenyra and Alicent gave small and seemingly back-handed toasts but Y/n was too set on the continuous mischievous look in her brother's eye.
And she called it right when he stood and moved to whisper in Baela's ear.
It was clear that it was muttered with the intention of riling up Jace, which it did quite well.
He stood up in anger, slamming his fist on the table.
Cregan, who had remained entirely silent thus far, instinctually moved a hand across his wife as if shielding her and the child.
The tense toasts only got worse from there.
Luckily, the music seemed to drown out the intensity, as well as Jace's good gesture of faith in dancing with Helaena.
Y/n leaned over to Aemond, "Brother."
His brow raised as his eye traveled to look at her.
"It has been… long since I've seen you. I see you've faired quite well."
He hummed lightly, "I see you've… managed."
She could feel Cregan's intense gaze from behind her, "Wh…what do you mean?"
Aemond smirked and leaned in to where only the two Starks could hear him, "Inpregnanted by a brute-"
Cregan's jaw clenched so hard he feared for his teeth. His voice was a hushed whisper, but still held furiously to it, "Watch your words."
Y/n held Cregan's shoulder, "Let us not do this here."
Aemond smirked with Cregan sighed and leaned back in his chair.
When Viserys was escorted from the room due to his pain, Y/n decided to leave as well, and Cregan behind her.
They claimed a pregnancy illness and Rhaenyra smirked, knowing she'd used the same card many times.
…
Cregan helped her into bed, "I don't understand their need to crawl under everyone's skin like beetles."
She sighed, "They've never known life outside of a castle, Cregan. They've never been told no, and they never will. It's best to let it go."
"They mock us both. My name has been through dirt, blood, and tears, and I do not care, but yours?" He scoffed, "I will not stand by the next time you are mocked."
"It is only for a little while longer," she rebutted.
"Know that I do this for you, and only you, my love."
She smiled, "That's all I ask."
…
"The north has done a number on you, really," Aegon said as he appeared at her side.
She tilted her head, "I don't know what you mean."
He shrugged, "You're…" he then gestured his arms widely. "I dunno… well indulged?"
She pushed down the tears that welled up in her eyes, "Why do you care?"
He scoffed and leaned in towards her, "You know how many friends of mine asked for whores that looked like you? Many."
"And?"
"And?" He asked mockingly. "And? Who wants to fuck a whore that looks like you now?"
Her jaw went slack for a moment, completely shocked by his words.
Finally, with now watery eyes, she spoke. "You're the worst kind of man, Aegon."
"Oh? And what kind is that?"
A sudden punch came from nowhere, landing on Aegon's jaw and sending him to the ground.
Cregan stood over the man's body, a predatory look in his eyes and a murderous tone in his voice, "One that can't defend his fucking words."
Y/n pulled Cregan back, "Stop!"
He wanted to fight against her, but he knew better. His shoulders rolled back and he stood tall.
She cursed under her breath as she took in exactly what had unfolded, "They could have your head for this, Cregan."
"Only if your brother wishes to defend his words against me again," Cregan scoffs as he looks down at the man.
Aegon sits up and huffs, wiping his nose that begins to leak blood. "Northern brute-"
"-Aegon!" She reprimands.
Cregan glared at Aegon for a while, then scoffed and walked off a few steps to calm himself.
Aegon stands on shaky legs as he glares at his sister, "I liked you better when you lacked a guard dog."
Cregan immediately turned back to the man with a look that said he was ready to murder him. As he stepped forward, Aegon stepped back as he began to regret his words.
"Take me to our chambers, Cregan," she lightly pleaded.
The wolf of the north only stared for a while before nodding, "Lead the way."
She sighed as she gave a final look to her brother. "Clean yourself up. You look like shit."
…
Standing behind Rhaenyra, Y/n and Cregan whispered idly to Daemon when someone would comment something out of hand.
Luke's legitimacy was coming into question, and though the Starks knew the truth, they would not dare pry the inheritance from the boy's hands. That was not their place. So next to Daemon they stood as petitions were made to and against him.
Daemon leaned in to speak to Y/n, "how far along did you say you were?"
"Eight moons now," she whispered back.
Daemon let out a surprised grunt. "You're to have the child here then? That seems unlike you."
"Uncle, my father insisted I come, and I have. Whether the child is born in the North or the South, it is a Targaryen and Stark all the same."
He smiled lightly, "I suppose you're right. If you wish for someone to accompany Lord Stark to the dragon pit to choose a proper egg for the child, only say the word."
Cregan, who had been listening quietly, now leaned in, "I am to choose an egg?"
"It is tradition," she explained. "It can be before, during, or after the birth, but the father chooses the egg. If… If you would wish to continue that tradition."
He grinned, "I'd be delighted to try."
When Vaemond Valaryon stepped up forward to speak his mind, the Starks quieted.
He spoke in anger, trying to take Luke's right.
Y/n looked past him to her mother and siblings.
Aegon looked like he'd rather be doing anything else. He didn't care the outcome of this ordeal. Aemond watched intensely with his one eye, taking in every detail. And Helaena… sweet Helaena.
She needed to visit her and the children soon.
"And her children are…" Vaemond paused.
The room stilled.
"Say it," Daemon whispered under his breath.
"Her children are BASTARDS!" He screamed.
Y/n jumped back in surprise as Cregan's steady hands caught her waist.
"And she. Is. a. Whore." Vaemond finished.
The air in the room stilled and became stuffy as the tension reached an all time high.
Viserys stood on unstable legs as he unsheathed his dagger, "I will have… your tongue for this."
A sudden slice moved through the air, and half of Vaemond's head was gone.
Blood splattered across the ones' nearest, meaning the Starks. Cregan let out an annoyed grunt.
"He can keep his tongue," Daemon said proudly as he lowered his sword.
Y/n rested a hand over her swollen stomach with a shaky hand, trying to ignore the blood that began to seep into her clothes.
Cregan leaned down to whisper in her ear, "Are you alright?"
"I… I want to go," she shuddered back.
He nodded, looking around as the crowd began to whisper amongst themselves. He held a hand firmly against her back as she became to let out an uncomfortable whine.
"Cregan, please," she whispered.
"Alright. Alright, let's go, my love," he said as he tried to move her through the crowd.
But her legs faltered as she let out a pained noise.
He caught her in panic, "Are you in pain?"
"The babe…"
No longer caring for proper manners, Cregan stood tall and looked over the crowd. "MOVE!" He yelled out.
The people quieted and moved as Cregan helped his wife through the room and out of the doors.
Alicent only saw a brief glimpse of her daughter's silver hair go through the doors, and she was on edge. She ran through the crowd to follow behind them.
He held onto his wife's arm with one hand and held her waist with the other, trying to support her as they moved to their chambers.
Y/n let out a gasp, and her water broke.
Alicent caught up to them and grabbed her daughter's other arm. "It's alright. You're alright." She turned to a servant and ordered him to get the maester.
Sweat began to break out of the poor woman's forehead as the weight of what is happening began to settle.
Once on her bed, Cregan refused to move from her side, Alicent as well. Alicent rubbed soothingly across her daughter's forehead as Cregan paced at the foot of the bed.
The maester and midwives came quickly, immediately moving to the woman in labor.
"My lord, it is best if you remain outside," one of them said.
Cregan's brows furrowed in confusion. "Out… Outside?"
Alicent chipped in, "It is tradition. The husband waits outside of the doors."
He stared at Y/n in thought. Tradition. How that word weighed on them like boulders.
"Alright."
…
He tried to ignore the sounds of her cries as he stood in the corridor.
Nothing could ease his worries.
In the North, it was not uncommon to be by their wife's side.
This was unusual to him.
"My lord," a midwife questioned as she poked her head from the room.
His eyes widened, "Is she alright?"
"The child is… having trouble, my lord."
That was Cregan's greatest fear. The maester in Winterfell had spent endless hours with Cregan to determine a plan for if such a thing were to occur. Now he was without a plan entirely.
"Alright?" He finally breathed.
"What do you wish for us to do?"
"What options do I have?" He spoke barely above a whisper.
The midwife gave him an empathetic look. "We can cut the child out-"
"-No." He was quick with his answer, the very thought of taking a blade to her seeming the greatest sin he could commit.
"Um… it will be painful, but we can help her force the child out."
"Is that safe for her?"
The midwife shrugged lightly, "More than any other option I can give you."
He nodded.
She gave a weak smile and moved back into the room, but Cregan caught the door before it closed and forced his way in.
At the sight of his wife, he felt as if a blade went into his own stomach.
She was crying in pain, the midwives forcing her hips down as she tried to move away from the pain, as if that was possible.
At the sight of him, her entire face relaxed, "Cregan…"
He moved to her side, "I'm here. How can I help?"
Alicent glared slightly at him.
"They won't… I can't…" Y/n whimpered out.
"They won't what?" He looked up to Alicent, "What are they doing?"
"She wishes to get up. We cannot have her standing," she explained.
Cregan was thrown off by that. "She cannot? W… Why ever not?" When in labor with him, Cregan's mother was said to have walked the length of Winterfell 3x over.
"It hurts… please, Cregan…"
He nodded as his expression hardened. "Let her stand."
The maester shook his head, "She is nearing the labor. She should not-"
"-She wishes to stand. She will stand."
Alicent spoke up. "Lord Stark-"
"-This is my wife and child. If she wishes to walk, then she will," he barked.
A fire lit behind the queen's eyes. "She will not."
The midwives watched the tension grow.
Finally, Cregan calmly reached down and began to help his wife sit up.
Alicent cursed under her breath and grabbed Cregan's wrist in an effort to stop him.
Cregan's eyes slowly moved up to Alicent's face as anger began to overcome him.
But she was first to speak. "You are no longer in the North. You abide by our traditions when you are here."
He'd heard enough of that word for a lifetime.
His words came out sharper than he intended, but he cared little to soften them. "Your family is made of vipers and cutthroats. When I take my wife and child back to Winterfell, it will truly be a miracle if you ever see them again, for I will not let her sit and be neglected and tormented. I am a brute, but I am not without heart. Now, Let. Go."
Alicent reluctantly let go.
Cregan helped Y/n sit, and she immediately felt relief. "I want to walk," she panted.
He nodded, practically holding her up as she stood. "We will walk the corridor and return." His voice had no room for argument.
Once they paced the corridor a few times, she was returned to the bed, only to find that Alicent had left. Cregan only cared about it when he noticed the tinge of sadness that moved over his laboring wife.
But he was quick to fill the gap. As she moved back to the bed, Cregan sat behind her and held her against his chest, messaging anywhere that began to ache.
The labor came soon after that. Cregan held her close as she screamed in pain and gripped his wrists. She surely left bruises.
"The babe is crowning, princess," the midwife exclaimed. "Keep pushing."
The pain came in waves that made her see white.
Cregan began to panic when the midwives gave one another a look. "What?"
"She is not pushing hard enough."
Y/n began to cry in frustration.
"She is pushing," Cregan sighed. "What else is there to do?"
One of them reached up and began to push on her stomach, prompting the princess to cry harder as the pain multiplied.
"Allow me," Cregan shifted her in his hold and carefully placed his hands where the midwife had, slowly applying pressure to the same place.
As Y/n screamed and cried, Cregan placed assuring kisses against her neck and cheek and whispered calming words to her. "You're doing well."
If the pain had not been so bad, she may have blushed.
…
Cregan held the baby close to his chest as his wife slept.
"My lord," a servant finally entered and interrupted the silence. "The queen has requested to see the child."
An annoyed feeling washed over the man. Of course, she wished to.
The servant took note of his changed demeanor, "I can take-"
"-No," he countered. "I will go myself. Should my wife awaken in my absence, give her anything she desires."
His heavy feet stormed from the room and he walked to the queen's chambers.
Alicent turned and shock overcame her. "Lord Stark. I did not expect you to-"
"-Neither did I."
The two stared at one another for a moment before Alicent's eyes wandered to the bundle in the large lord's arms. "Healthy?"
"The very picture."
She nodded, unsure of what to say next.
"A boy," Cregan stated.
"A boy?" Alicent whispered. Any thoughts of annoyance were past to her, and she walked to the lord and eagerly looked at the child.
The baby was indeed the picture of health. Bright purple eyes looked up at the two. Dark hair sat atop his head.
"He's quite northern," she stated.
"Indeed." Cregan was sure she meant it as an insult, but he could care less. The thought of such a gift as a northern boy filled him with pride.
"Congratulations, Lord Stark."
He nodded. "Your daughter is fine as well."
Alicent moved away from Cregan and sat down. "That is a blessing. To all of us. She will be a perfect mother."
"Aye, she will."
The tension between the two was evident, but they wouldn't let it dull the excitement of the newest addition to the line.
"I should return to my wife."
"Please, do."
Cregan moved to the door.
"Lord Stark?" She asked.
"Yes?"
Alicent stared at him and then the babe. "Thank you. For caring for her. And now him. You are a better man than most."
Cregan sighed. It wasn't a compliment, but it was something. "Thank you, my queen. She will want for nothing until my dying breath."
"This is all I wished for her."
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#fanfiction#game of thrones x reader#cregan stark x reader#cregan stark x you#house of the dragon fanfiction#game of thrones fanfiction#house of the dragon#game of thrones x y/n#game of thrones imagine#cregan stark x y/n#cregan stark x targaryen!reader#cregan x reader#cregan stark imagine#cregan stark#cregan stark fanfic#hotd cregan#house of the dragon imagine
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I've seen a lot of "You have to communicate directly/don't expect other people to read your mind" posts going around tumblr lately and while I really do appreciate them because it's a skill a LOT of people need to work on, I do want to remind everyone to please meet people halfway sometimes.
I recently read a story on Reddit about a guy's pregnant wife texting him "I'm craving donuts but we don't have any in the house 😔" and he DIDN'T stop to pick up donuts on the way home from work. Everyone was taking his side because "she needs to communicate" and "he's not a mind reader" and "How was he supposed to know she wanted him to get donuts???" People, ffs, why on earth would she text him that while he was at work if not because she wanted him to get donuts? I was flabbergasted everyone was taking his side. "How was he supposed to know??" What? Like yeah it's true she didn't say "I want you to get me donuts" with those exact words in that exact order but the reason why people get upset if they hint they want you to do something and you don't do it is because they feel like you don't care about them and aren't actively thinking about their feelings. Especially in a marriage or LTR they are in a situation where the assumption is you care about filling the other person's needs.
Someone who loves and cares about someone will get the donuts "without being asked" just because their partner expresses a want or need. That's what someone is fishing for when they say "Aaaah I'm craving donuts 🥺🥺🥺" It's less about the donuts and more about feeling cared for. Sometimes straight up asking "Can you get me donuts?" defeats the purpose.
Also, women are typically socialized to communicate this way because they're punished socially for being too direct. I've heard that people of color, especially black people, often do this too because they're likely to be branded as "aggressive" if they're too direct with white people. So it might be a good idea to be a bit intersectional if we're trying to encourage people to be more direct.
Take the stereotypical example of a wife gets a new haircut and then gets upset that the husband doesn't notice. She's not literally mad at him for not saying the exact words "I like your new haircut." She's upset because she feels like he doesn't look at her and appreciate the efforts she's putting in anymore.
Obviously this will vary widely depending on the nature of your relationship with someone, but especially when it comes to intimate partnerships, there are certain things your significant other should not have to tell you directly. It's probably safe to assume your wife or husband wants a birthday present even if they don't ask for it. It's probably safe to assume your bf or gf would appreciate a valentine's day present or a compliment without them having to literally ask for it, unless they explicitly say otherwise.
This is difficult for a lot of neurodivergent people to learn manually if it's not instinctual and they didn't learn it growing up (lord knows I didn't) and yes, it's true that most people (especially NT people) should learn to communicate more directly. But also, your relationships would probably benefit from learning to read indirect cues and just pick up the donuts on the way home because you heard your wife is craving them. Sometimes what someone wants is for you to think about what they're feeling and what they want and do it without them asking directly. It's up to you whether or not you do that, but sometimes that is asking. I think this is what people generally mean when they say their partner is "thoughtful."
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They Think I'm Pregnant - A.H
a/n: i feel like this is kind of shitty but alas here we are!
masterlist
pairings: aaron hotchner x fem!reader
summary: the team thinks you're pregnant and you decide to have a little fun with it
warnings: reader is not preggers promise!, honestly the team gossiping is so lol, suggestive content per usual
wc: 1.3k
"I mean she has been kind of moody lately."
The gasp that rose in your surprise was quickly smothered as you pressed yourself against the wall, pushing into it as if that would make you invisible somehow.
"Well, interestingly enough, there has been considerable growth in her chest area. It's due to elevated levels of estrogen and progesterone, which I've noticed with her." Spencer stopped abruptly, the sound of Morgan's muffled laughter in the background. "I'm not saying I make a habit of such observations. Okay, um, don't tell Hotch I said that."
Casting a skeptical eye down your shirt, your frown deepened. Sure, your boobs had grown, but that was a testament to a little happy relationship weight, not the fodder of their theories.
"Nice one, kid," came Rossi's voice, and you could almost see the smirk on his face.
"Oh my gosh, guys, this is like, the best news ever! A mini-agent in the making! Can you imagine how cute she's going to be? I'm going to get her the cutest outfits!"
"Garcia, how do you know it's going to be a girl? Did the baby send you a text?"
The baby? Was rational thought absent among them? It must be. You crossed your arms defensively.
"Okay, maybe we should pump the breaks everyone. Why do we even think she's pregnant in the first place?"
JJ—your voice of reason. You could kiss the ground she walked on.
"I'm just putting two and two together. She walked out, and there was a pregnancy test in the trash that wasn't there before."
Your eyebrows drew down, and the increasing shuffle from the room prompted you to make a beeline for Hotch's office before anyone saw you snooping. But in your defense, Emily snooped first.
The moment the door clicked shut, you lunged for the blinds, bypassing any attempt at a greeting with Aaron. The blinds clattered shut, so fast you nearly gave yourself whiplash.
"Honey, what are you—?"
His words hung unfinished as you whirled around, pressing your pointer finger to your lips as if he were a kindergartner about to walk down the hall.
"They think I'm pregnant!" you hissed indignantly, jabbing a finger toward the door as if it were a portal to the rumor mill itself.
His face drained of color as his eyes darted from your face, down to your stomach, and finally rested on your tits. "Are you?"
You slapped his shoulder. "No!"
"Then why do they think that?"
You recounted every piece of evidence they had collected, giving special attention to Spencer's bodily hypothesis as a subtle form of retaliation.
"He said what?"
You laughed, draping your arms around his neck as you made yourself at home on his lap. He leaned back in his chair, arranging you so your legs were stretched out across his lap.
"Focus," you said desperately. "They think I'm pregnant."
"Sweetheart," he chuckled, his hands finding their way to your waist. "Does it really matter what they're assuming?"
Your lower lip jutted out, fingers threading through your hair as you mulled it over.
"You're a genius." Your arms were around him in an instant once again, leaving a big, messy kiss on his cheek as you hopped down from his lap and strode towards the door.
Who cares if that's what they think?
So, you devoted your day to your greatest talent: stirring the pot. If they were set on believing you were pregnant, why should you interfere? Better yet, why not enjoy their theories and have some fun along the way?
You pulled every trick in the book.
In the morning, you bolted from the briefing room with a hand clamped over your mouth, you later reappeared, ginger ale and crackers in tow--which you knew JJ would understand. No one said a word.
In the afternoon, you turned up your nose when Emily offered you coffee, which in turn caused her eyes to bulge out of her head, but still she said nothing.
In the evening, you staged a sudden craving for the strangest of snacks, convincing Spencer of your dire need for pickles dipped in peanut butter. You sent him on a wild goose chase for it, and he did it, no questions asked.
All of these, as some would say--childish antics, lead to a big pile of nothing because no one was brave enough to just ask you.
So now that you were all gathered around Rossi's living room, with the day's efforts in vain, you were forced to drastic measures.
The wine glass was mere inches from your lips when the whole lot of them were up in arms--a blabbering, spiraling mess.
Garcia, her mouth a perfect 'o' of scandalized red, was quick to wrestle it from your grasp, hoisting it just beyond reach as Morgan promptly confiscated it, placing it atop the tallest bookshelf, as if you were a child meddling with contraband.
"What are you thinking?"
"Are you crazy?"
"What are you doing?"
"Hotch, do you see this?"
Their words bombarded you all at once, a rapid-fire of overlapping sentences that was impossible to decipher. A giggle escaped you, hand instinctively rising to your lips. Sure, you had braced for a reaction, but this was beyond anything you had imagined.
You played dumb, your head canting to one side as your brows contracted. "What?"
You basked in Aaron's exasperated eye roll, his hands coming together as if in prayer while he let you revel in the moment. He was a good man.
"What do you mean what? I love you so much, but you have to be out of your mind," Garcia probed, her hands clutching on to her necklace as she looked side to side at the others.
You opened your mouth, ready to provoke her further, but Spencer beat you to it.
"Given the potential impact on blood volume and plasma osmolality, it's really not advised to drink alcohol, considering your condition," he said, fidgeting with his tie while nodding to your belly.
"What condition?"
"Oh, come on! We found your pregnancy test in the trash today!" This time it was Emily speaking, her hands on her hips as she gave you a knowing glance. She quickly muffled her exclamation. "Hold on, you've told Hotch, right? If not, I'm prepared to get on my hands and knees and beg for your forgiveness if necessary."
"You all are ridiculous!" you declared, rising from the couch and moving toward your abandoned wine. Aaron was quicker, offering the glass to you. "I'm not pregnant, and if you nosy nellies had bothered to ask rather than speculate, you'd know that.”
You took a large gulp of your wine. For emphasis. Your colleagues' mouth hung agape, all but Rossi, who smirked and toasted to the absurdity with his whiskey.
"You heard us?"
"Reid, let's just say, I'd appreciate if you would reserve those observational talents for the case files, not on my girlfriend's anatomy," Hotch suggested, the warmth of his hand seeping through the fabric at your back as he casually sipped his scotch.
You watched Reid's complexion turn a spectrum of pink hues, his apology barely above a whisper as laughter bubbled around us.
"Wait so then whose pregnancy test did I find?" Emily's words caused a collective breath to catch, glances shifting suspiciously around the room.
JJ's hand shot up, laughing as Garcia barreled into her side, arms wrapping around her before she could even get the admittance out. The room buzzed with congratulatory cheers, everyone sharing hugs and kisses as JJ told the story.
Aaron chose that instant to lift his hand to his neck, his lips meeting yours in a kiss so gentle it turned your insides to jelly. He eased back, his breath mingling with yours as he mumbled, "you know, the idea of you pregnant...it's not something I'm opposed to."
You let out a soft giggle, nestling your head against his chest, the steady beat of his heart bleeding into your ear. Your gaze drifted to your friends, toasting with raised glasses--minus JJ--with laughter and chatter filling the air.
"Is that so? Cravings, mood, boobs and all?"
You felt the rumble of his chuckle through his chest, the sensation tingling against your cheek. "All of it."
Rising onto your toes, you reached up to cradle his ear, lips grazing lightly against it. "How about we head home and practice? And then if you put a ring on it, I’ll consider it.”
That was the first time you had Irish goodbye-d a party.
#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner x fem reader#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner fluff#aaron hotcher fic#criminal minds#criminal minds fluff
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Tumblr crashed and killed my post and I'm too lazy to go find what I was reblogging, but:
You need to understand that there is a type of right-wing person who is (relatively) sex positive.
You need to understand this because it explains some "contradictions" but more importantly so that you won't assume someone isn't wildly right wing just because they're sex-positive. These people still have horribly opinions on a lot of things, including sexual ones. They just don't think it's Inherently Wrong to do "weird stuff" in the bedroom.
I always describe this viewpoint as "it's okay to get freaky, but don't be a freak".
They're making a distinction between things you DO and things you ARE. They hate the latter, and think the former is fine.
This is a big part of why you get "confusing" things like right-wingers who are against trans people but those same people might enjoy crossdressing during sex. They're fine with wearing girls clothes while they get pegged, but don't think you should be allowed to go by she/her in the workplace if you're AMAB. Crossdressing is a thing you do. Being trans is something you are.
And the post I was trying to reply to was about swingers disliking polyamorous people: it's the same thing. Swinging is a thing you do: they're having freaky sex. What's wrong with that?
But polyamory? Having multiple partners at the same time, even when you're not fucking at the moment? That sounds like something you are.
Basically it seems to be the worldview of people who are sex-positive (to an extent! I don't want to overstate their positivity) in their personal life, but are against "the decay of society".
They're basically conservatives nostalgic for an imagined world where everyone has 1950s social roles in public, but can get up to whatever weird sex stuff they want behind closed doors.
I don't know how much this kind of few point is due to libertarian influence on these kinds of right wingers (where they've internalized the "the government shouldn't tell me what to do" part of the ideology, but still think "the government should tell those weirdos to get cut it out" is fine), or how much this is because of the rise of 4chan as an alt-right meeting spot, and that site was (and still is) partially a porn site.
It's slightly hard to argue that all sex besides married missionary for procreation is immoral when you're one click away from threads full of anal-toy-howtos and pregnant "dickgirl" hentai. (Not that they don't try, sometimes)
Just keep the fact that these people exist in mind: it'll better explain some of the strange opinions you sometimes see online.
It's probably also a major driving force behind Bidoof's law. They can easily argue against something innocuous like polyamory or trans people while filling their own timeline to with images of trans orgies, because they think Doing Sex Stuff is morally neutral, but Being Stuff is inherently wrong. You can cross dress or swing, that's fine, whatever gets your rocks off. But you can't be trans or be poly. That's wrong, apparently.
(This is probably also South Park's fault but I'm not an expert on that show so I'll not try to explain)
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Hi! I don't remember if anyone asked this, but do you have any headcanons about Shermie Pines?
Sure, here's the big one.
I've decided to resolve the "if he's the baby then Mabel & Dipper are the product of two generations of 15-year-old parents; if he's older than Stan & Ford and maybe already out of the house then where is he and who's the baby?" problem the most ridiculous way possible:
He IS the baby, but he grew 20 years in 10 years.
I don't mean he's a 10-year-old that looks 20, i mean that for every year he existed, he experienced two years of life. Like at the start of September he entered 1st grade and at the end of next May he exited 2nd grade, and nobody knows how, he didn't jump up a grade during winter break or something, everyone around him clearly remembers him going through nine months of school and then summer break and then another nine months of school, his first and second grade teachers both remember teaching him for a whole school year, but it happened within one year.
Nobody else is affected; they all remember experiencing two years of life with Shermie, but they didn't age two years too. Just him. No one can explain it. It's the darnedest thing.
"But how did this happen." Time magic. "What caused it?" Magic. "Did he experience every year twice?" No just once; the year was twice as long for him. "Then how did he experience two school years instead of one double length school year?" Magic. "How does that even work???" I'm not an expert on time magic.
Caryn told Ford about it, but he was busy with more PhD programs than any human should ever endure and assumed it was some kind of hyperbolic lie to communicate how fast it feels like Shermie's growing, so she's going "this sounds like one of your strange anomalous things you study, isn't this one of those things you study?" and he's like "uh huh that's great mom."
Stan, of course, didn't hear any of this, so the first he learns of it is during a reluctant family reunion soon after he takes over Ford's life and Caryn's like "and over there's your brother Shermie and his wife, I don't know if you've seen him since your master's degree, try to talk to them won't you?" and Stan goes "Shermie?? Isn't he supposed to be twelve, why's he look like a MAN? Whaddaya mean wife??? Is she pregnant????" and Caryn went "😏 I KNEW you were never listening on the phone."
Shermie gradually stopped experiencing life on double time and slowed down to age normally around his mid twenties (well, mid twenties from his perspective; around 13 according to his birth certificate). Filbrick and Caryn sort of agreed that getting married must have helped him "settle down" and they don't really question it.
Ford gets to learn this several hours after he gets home when he finally gets a break long enough to put two and two together and goes "wait, SHERMIE'S grandkids?? But he's barely in his forties, how does he have 12-year-old grandkids" and Stan tells him and Ford goes "You mean Mom was telling the truth?!"
That fall while Shermie's yelling "WHADDAYA MEAN YOU SWITCHED PLACES AND FELL INTO A SPACE PORTAL" Ford's yelling back "CAN I CARBON DATE YOUR FACE"
#anonymous#ask#shermie pines#gravity falls#(I don't remember if I've shared this on tumblr before or only on discord)#(if it was tumblr then here have it again)#headcanons
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So breeding for you is less "I fantasise about being nine months pregnant 24/7"
And more "I fantasise about having to excuse myself at a high school reunion because A) 450lb girls can't fit through this doorframe and B) someone else's baby cried and now I'm lactating like a dairy cow"
Good to know 🤔
bold of you to assume my high school reunion won’t take place in the competition gym, which is wheelchair accessible AND has double doors (they’re such a cheap school district) 👀 but stoppp i think i actually blushed at this bc. that’s hot as fuck.
letting my husband take care of the mingling and talking while i go take care of the excess milk. coming back and overhearing something along the lines of, “yeah, it’s not a surprise she’s this big now. everything she wanted to go out to do in high school was food-related.” “y’all have three kids?? and none of them are named after percy jackson characters?”
later i’d be asked: “why didn’t you tell me about that time you ate an entire family sized thing of oreos during your 30 minute lunch period?” and. “so THIS is why you weren’t even nervous about going. everyone knew you were a cow then, too.”
#this is half silly i apologize#i was just very. well i had my quirks#they had these neapolitan oreos or smthn. 3 stacks of creme between the cookies#i ate all the cookies and stacked the creme together#and then ate that whole thing#in 30 minutes#yeah my parents didn’t keep sugary snacks at home. how could you tell#talk#ask
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Merry bday! A continuation of Enola Holmes marrying the viscount of Basilweather would be really cool 😀
a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
She wrinkles her nose when Tewksbury passes over her cup of tea with two sugars, unstirred, and she knows.
She puts down the cup too quickly, blood pounding in her ears, and Tewksbury frowns, reaching for her hand. "Enola?"
"Got to go," she says, pushing herself to standing, almost just leaves him sitting there, hand outstretched, but he's her husband and she loves him, so she darts over to smack a kiss on his lips before she's running for the door.
"Enola!" he calls out again, but now he sounds less worried and more exasperated, which is better, which is good. There's nothing for him to worry about.
She wants her mother, who's banned from London and is causing political unrest in Southern France currently, or Edith, who's doing something clever and illegal in Scotland. She'd take Victoria, but Mycroft will be there, and he's the last person she wants to see right now. Sherlock, while beloved, is useless, but his boy is a doctor.
She drops in at 221B Baker Street, picking the lock like always, and is relieved that Sherlock is still asleep and decides not to have any opinions on the various bones scattered about the kitchen table. She assumes there's a reasonable explanation for them.
"Oh, Enola!" John grins and shoves some femurs to the side to make space at the table. "Here, join me, would you like some oatmeal? Are you looking for your brother? I can wake him-"
"I'm pregnant," she blurts out, then bites her bottom lip.
John blinks once, then twice, then says with a gentleness that had made her like him in the first place - because Sherlock wanted to be gentle, but was quite bad at it, so someone had to teach him - "This is what you wanted, isn't it?"
Wanted seems like not the correct word, although of course it is, because she and Tewksbury had been, not trying, but not-not trying, which probably amounted to the same thing, considering how often they - well.
"I can fix it," he says, voice low and serious, "if it's something that needs to be fixed."
Enola lets out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. "No. No, it doesn't need to be fixed."
She loves that he offered. She loves John, more her brother than Mycroft will ever be, sometimes even more her brother than Sherlock is. If nothing else, her brothers had picked their partners well. Victoria and John are a delight.
John is the functional one between them, explosions and skeletons notwithstanding. John is the one that coaxed her brother into a proper relationship and John is the one that knew they were like parents to all the Irregulars and John isn't normal but he grew up normal.
"Are you worried something's wrong?" he asks. "I can look you over."
"No," she says, although, "I mean, yes, that'd be nice because Tewksbury will go spare, but no, I'm not worried anything's wrong."
He leans back in his chair, looking her over, and after almost ten years of dealing with her and Sherlock and even occasionally Mycroft he can read them almost as well as they can read everyone else.
"It's alright to be scared," he says finally. "Lots of women are when they find out, even when it's wanted, even when the baby's healthy."
"I'm not scared," she says, but for the first time her words feel like a lie. "I shouldn't be scared. What do I have to be scared of?"
She wishes her mother was here.
Will her children miss her like this too?
Sometimes she misses her mother even when she's right in front of her, and if nothing else, she's her mother's daughter.
John gets to his feet, stand in front of her, and opens his arms. She looks away even as she steps forward, like if she doesn't look at him when she does it then it doesn't count as weakness.
His arms close around her. He smells like chai and antiseptic and it's only years of association that make the combination comforting. "I can't wait to be an uncle."
He'll be an uncle. Sherlock will be an uncle. Even Mycroft, and Victoria will be delighted to be an aunt, and to raise her children with Enola's. Of course there's her mother-in-law, and Tewksbury's uncle, who have been angling for her to have a child from the day they married.
There's Tewksbury, who loves her, who isn't going to die on her or leave her if either of them have anything to say about it, who isn't going to leave her to raise their children the way her mother raised her.
Alone.
She's been saying she wasn't going to do this alone from the beginning, but standing here in Sherlock's kitchen, with John holding her steady, she really believes it.
#prompt answers#prompts are closed#asks#anon#enola holmes#if we get a third movie my characterization of john will be wrecked#but know in my heart he is a lovable mad scientist with poor impulse control
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I don't post on here often and by that I mean I'm on here once a month to look at writing prompts but right now I'm thinking of Anya from Mouthwashing, and Tumblr is better for long form posts. Apologies if this rant isn't super clear, I'm on pain meds right now.
CW: S/A, SUICIDE, OVERDOSE, MOUTHWASHING SPOILERS
Anyway, Anya very well may be one of the most doomed characters to ever doom. Firstly she's trapped in a relatively small space ship with 4 men, who she has to keep alive and healthy along with giving them periodic mental wellness checks (which she, herself never gets). Two of these men don't take her seriously at all because she probably doesn't actually have a medical degree and is just someone the company hired to cut corners. If that wasn't all ready awful, the co-captain, Jimmy, has been assaulting her since at least the start of this voyage that's been going on for 100+ days. She falls pregnant because of this and while this isn't where her spiral started, this is where it gets worse. She originally plans to kill herself with the Captain's gun, but decides against it since she can't get to the gun without Curly's help anyway.
Speaking of Curly, he knows what's been going on, she told him about Jimmy a while before the crash. Every time, Curly says "I'll do something about it," or "I'll fix this," but the most he does is keep Jimmy away from Anya when they're working. Anya seems fine with that for the most part because I think she assumes Curly will report Jimmy and have him arrested when they land (he won't, at this point in the game he'd defend Jimmy for anything because "he sees the best in people. He loves to say "our worst moments don't define us" and apparently that extends to r@pe). So at this point, she's biding her time until they land.
Back to the gun, when Curly finds her holed up in the cockpit, she tells him she's pregnant. He's a little taken aback but he tries to reassure her that it's fine and he'll fix the "situation" with Jimmy. He says he can't let her kill herself because he does actually care about her. One of his flaws is he cares about everyone so much he can't imagine compromising one of them for any reason. Anya tells him she wasn't going to hurt herself, though she thought about it, she just hid the gun case so Jimmy couldn't kill her instead. She's so convinced Jimmy just wants to kill and torment her when the sad truth is, he couldn’t care less.
In all of Jimmy's "take responsibility" hallucinations, Anya barely shows up. Swansea, Curly, and Daisuke do, but he can't bring himself to even recognize what's happened to Anya is also solely his fault. He doesn't care at all.
Speaking of which, what seems the straw that breaks the camel's back for Jimmy is Anya telling him that she's pregnant because he crashes the ship pretty sure after. And this really seems like a spur of the moment action because if he'd planned this he could've done it much earlier after the news of the company closing reached them.
Curly says Anya should've waited for him to help her tell Jimmy about the pregnancy, but that doesn't matter because he is put out of commission like (I forgot if it's a day later or the same day) later because he's in the cockpit when the ship crashes.
Now Anya has no hope, Jimmy knows she's pregnant, the seemingly one line of defense she has against him can't leave his bed, and they're stuck in space. She's terrified because not only because of that, but because Jimmy is captain now and because of the way the ship is set up, you need the captain for a lot of things. Jimmy being captain also means if he finds the gun case, he now has the code to open it.
Anya, being the ships medic, is tasked with keeping Curly alive and giving him his meds. It's really difficult for her, A. because Curly is hard to look at, B. because unless he's full of pain meds, he's making noise, and C. because that was her friend and one of the only people she felt safe around and he's been reduced to this. And from her perspective, this is his fault, Curly crashed the ship.
This situation is stressful for everyone, Swansea has reverted back to alcoholism and never drops the ax he has, Daisuke is slowly losing hope and also starts drinking, and Jimmy won't stop yelling at her. He's so pissed at her the entire game, more so than everyone else. She was already scared of him but before there was at least a light at the end of the tunnel. Now there's nothing to look forward to because she doesn't think there's any way out.
She, at some point when he's sober enough, confides in Swansea who then tells her that she's gonna be the one to get out of here. He has the one last working cryo pod set aside for her specifically and refuses to let anyone into the room where it is. Unfortunately, at this point, her anxiety concerning Jimmy is so bad, she's convinced he'd do something to the pod too.
So then Anya locks herself in the med bay with Curly and all the rest of the ships medicine (- minus the Isopropyl which she probably left for Daisuke and Swansea) and overdoses by Curly's bed. Curly was awake the whole time she went through a probably painful death. She also, as maybe a final revenge, took the last of the pain meds that were meant for Curly. And she dies right next to him.
That's where her story ends. She felt so trapped and scared by her r@pist that got her pregnant that she killed herself next to the one person who could've done something, but instead, from her perspective, trapped her with said r@pist.
She died probably hoping that Daisuke or Swansea would make it out, not knowing they died soon after.
TLDR;
So from her perspective: A guy she's been friends with for years starts repeatedly assaulting her and she's stuck with him, then he gets her pregnant. Her other friend who she tells says he'll do something about it (he won't) and she has no choice but to trust him. Then the guy she told crashes the ship they're all on and fails in taking himself out. Now she's trapped with her r@pist and she tells someone else who does actually try to do something but she kills herself instead.
Anyways guys, I'm just missing my wife, the end.
#mouthwashing#rant post#mouthwashing anya#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing spoilers#mouthwashing swansea#mouthwashing jimmy#mouthwashing daisuke#video games#indie games#i miss my wife tails#please play this game#anya mouthwashing#long post#is this a#character analysis#?#idk#content warning
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I WANNA BE YOURS | LIONESSES X READER | PT 8
pairings: lionesses x reader
summary: in which you're accidentally added to a random group chat, not knowing they're all actually famous footballers, and obliviously end up having many of them competing for your love and attention.
part: eight
part one here
✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦
THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM
stairway y/n, i gotta tell you something very important
the imposter okay? what is it?
stairway
the imposter when and where?
stairway i was thinking a beach wedding this weekend
willybum WOAH WOAH WOAH hell nah gimme a chance
the REAL karate kid i can be a way better girlfriend than all of them y/n
neev no meee!
the imposter as much as i love all these offers you guys don't even know what i look like
elton wdym? we all know what you look like
the imposter well that's not creepy at all i never sent you guys a photo of me wait a second so you guys are stalkers! OMG I KNEW IT!!
elton NO NO NO WE ARE NOT your friend sent us that one time she was on your phone we assumed you knew that
the imposter WAIT WHAT NO I HAD NO CLUE OMG WHAT PHOTO WAS IT?? SHE DELETED IT ON THE CHAT
stairway wait a sec
the imposter WHATT I DONT EVEN REMEMBER THAT THAT IS SO UNFAIR OMG hang on how do you even have that?
earpsy half of them have it saved on their camera roll in favourites
lauren 1 exposed haha
the REAL karate kid shut up
the imposter ..... um okay then that's not scary at all it isn't even a good photo
neev iSnT eVEn a GoOd PhOTo GURLLL shut upppp you're gorgeous i'll marry you instantly
the imposter aw tyyy ily <33
neev
the REAL karate kid NAHH BACK UP RN
stairway
i'm coming for you charles
neev
elton hold on you guys i just realised
the REAL karate kid oh hell no
lotte what could she have possibly thought of now
maya everyone prepare yourselves
elton if pregnant women were to go swimming would they be classified as human submarines bcuz you know they're pregnant
the imposter
earpsy you really have outdone yourself this time
willybum
neev toone how the hell did you even think of that 😭😭
stairway no but she lowkey has a point tho ... they technically are if you think about it
lotte not you too 😭
the imposter ella bae ily but .....
the REAL karate kid i second that
elton
honestly you guys are just jealous jealous of my
meado
lord save me
✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦
THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM
the imposter how are my favourite stalkers doing? y'all have been quiet lately and i haven't been spammed with notifications from this chat it's kinda concerning hope y'all are doing well
lotte i would say enjoy the silence while it lasts lol but i'm doing well thanks! hope you're having a good day too <3
the imposter that's great to hear, and thank you!! xxx
stairway i'm doing good too!
neev i'm doing alright too thanks
elton oi we don't stalk you .... all the time
the imposter hold on okay i'm back
willybum WE'RE NOT STALKING YOU 😭
the imposter
guess this is goodbye my stalkers this has to end 🤝😔
stairway Y/N NOOO
the imposter
just booked myself some karate lessons see you guys on the streets ✌️
neev oh my god 😭
elton that's it i'm never going outside or leaving my house again
willybum nahhh this isn't fair Y/N come backkk
the REAL karate kid y/n my lovee plsss 🥺 i blame ella for all this
elton oi it's not my fault!
stairway it's okay we'll just wait here .... y/n?
neev okay its been half an hour y/n and still not an answer pls answer
the imposter a bit desperate are we, guys? what if i was just peeing?
stairway no of course not
willybum pfft we're not desperate
lotte um if you were peeing for about 30 mins then i would be seriously concerned and would be booking you a doctor's appointment
the imposter yeah yeah whatever you say, my stalkers :)
part nine here
#lionesses x reader#engwnt x reader#woso x reader#engwnt#lionesses#woso#alessia russo x reader#leah williamson x reader#ella toone x reader#niamh charles x reader#georgia stanway x reader#lotte wubben moy x reader#woso imagine#woso fanfics#womens football
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The worst conversation
Portgas D. Ace x pregnant reader.
But it's not really about that. It's more about ASL brothers.
Warnings: Just read at your own risk.
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Ace stood proudly before everyone, as they all cheered. It was just such great and unexpected news.
"I'm gonna become an uncle!" Luffy yells happily. Ace nods and finds Luffy giving him a bone crushing hug. Sabo joins in and gratulates Ace.
"So where's the baby?" Luffy asks, looking around.
"Uh, it's still in Y/n's stomach." Ace answer, as they all broke lose from the hug.
"It's in her stomach! Did she eat it?!" Luffy yells.
"No, no, Luffy, don't you know how babies are made?" Sabo asks.
"Not really. How are they made?" He asks. Sabo and Ace look uncomfortably around. Before taking Luffy to another room, where they could speak in private.
"Ace, how did you and Y/n get a baby?" Luffy asks innocently, making Ace blush and look away.
"It's, it's um, complicated." He stuttered out.
"What did you two do?" Luffy asks, curious. Ace blush darkened.
"Um, well, when two people love each other." Ace began, but Luffy interrupted.
"Like brothers?"
"NO!" Both Sabo and Ace practically yelled.
"Like food?" Sabo face palmed while Ace groaned. They had both assumed Luffy had figured this out himself a long time ago.
"Not like food either. But like one you wanna spend your life with and such, get married." Sabo tries to explain.
"Wait is a wedding the process to get a baby?" Luffy asks.
"No, it happens more often than not, after marrige." Ace shrugs uncomfortably.
"But what do you do? How did the baby end up in Y/n's stomach?" Luffy suspiciously asks.
Ace sighs. And figures that he need to tell him. "When two people spend the night together and love each other, very, very much. Nine months after that, a baby will arrive." Ace explains, waiting for Luffy to come to the crushing realization.
"Wait, don't you and Y/n sleep with each other every night? Do you guys have a lot of babies on the way!"
Ace choke on his own spit. His face turned deep red as he heard Luffy's question. "Luffy, no, the hell we don't. That's not how it works!" Sabo stood at the side and covered his cheeks. This was embarrassing, to say the least.
"But you and Y/n love each other, very much. And you sleep in the same bed every night." Luffy points out.
"Listen, Luffy, I do not get Y/n pregnant every night." Ace clearifies. Secretly cursing his little stupid brother.
"What's the difference?" Luffy asks, confused.
"It only happens when we want it to." Ace answers.
"And what do you do then, some kind of ritual?" Luffy asks curiously.
"Um, kinda." Ace answer while frowning.
"A ritual huh. . . . . Can I come next time?" Luffy asks innocently. Ace and Sabo feel like a brick slammed to their heads.
"Absolutely not!" Ace almost yells.
"What, why, I can be on the side." Luffy suggests with a pout.
"Just, no, no, no, no, no." Ace states clearly while blushing madly.
"But why?! I wanna see the ritual. What if I want a baby one day. You need to show me how to make one if you wanna become an uncle." Luffy uses as an argument.
"I can also make Ace an uncle." Sabo mutters, embarrassed. Ace groans and looks at Sabo for help. Not whatever that was.
"Anyway, Luffy, it's not some kind of spirit summoning ritual. Do you know how plants grow from seeds?" Sabo asks.
"Yeah, but we aren't plants." Luffy answers.
"No, but it's kind of the same idea. You need two people to make a baby, like you need two parts to make a plant grow - a seed and soil." Sabo explains.
"So . . . . Ace has a seed?" Luffy asks, his face scrunched up in thought.
Ace face turns bright red, his hands coming up to cover his face. "Sabo, I hate you for this."
Sabo chuckles at his brothers misery. "Not literally Luffy, but kind of, yeah."
"So you and Y/n planted a seed? But why did you plant it in her? I'm sure we have a pot here somewhere." Luffy says, looking around.
"It's not literally a seed." Ace repeats, still blushing in frustration.
"Can you give me one? I wanna try." Luffy states. Ace face turns beat red, and at this point, he might as well bang his head on the wall. Sabo bit his tounge, he really shouldn't laugh.
"Wait, aren't I'm supposed to have one too?" Luffy mumble, more to himself. As he walks away, he grabs a pot and puts a strand of his hair in it.
"Luffy, if you think a pot will help you make a child, I smack you on the head." Ace mumbles. Then glance at Sabo to see him just as dumbfounded.
Is he for real about to shove a strand of hair down a pot and expect a child from that? They both think.
"I wanna try." Luffy answers, confirming he actually thinks that.
"First of, it won't work. Second, I give up." Sabo sighs.
"So do I," Ace says, smacking Luffy on the head.
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"I don't know what this is. Comment if you want."
Masterlist
#one piece#portgas d. ace#one piece x reader#fire fist ace#portgas#portgas d ace#portgas d ace x reader#portgas d ace x y/n#onepiece#one piece ace#asl brother's#asl trio#asl brothers#one piece luffy#monkey d. luffy#monkey d luffy#straw hat luffy#one piece sabo#sabo#revolutionary sabo#one piece portgas d ace#Portgas d ace x pregnant reader#onim5
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Hey! :) I just saw your new FAQ. What aspects of bucktommy do you enjoy? :)
Hello! I'm going to assume this question is asked in good faith, mainly because I wanna talk about them !! 😗✌🏾
I like that Buck heard Tommy make fake mouth static at the fire chief and immediately wanted to be barefoot and pregnant by this man. Peak comedy. Man is so cringefail loser that he made Buck discover a whole new sexuality. Who will love me like this, says the bisexual who is already aware she is bisexual. Okay moving on
Tommy's little head tilt on the basketball court. Not specifically a BuckTommy thing but something I am wildly into nonetheless.
I like that Tommy came over to talk to Buck about what went down with Eddie. Once you get past the "how the fuck did he even know where he lives?" of it all, because details don't matter when you have a 40 minute network TV slot, I just really like that Tommy didn't just recognize there was a problem, or didn't just recognize his own role in the problem between Buck and Eddie. He actually took time and initiative to try and fix it. He didn't have to do that. He could have looked at Buck and said, "Wow this grown man has issues. He needs to work on that" and just carried on with what he was doing. He would have been well within his right to do that, actually. But he went over to Buck's with the intention of clearing the air and that was very kind and mature of him.
I like that Tommy is very separately friends with Eddie, which isn't a BuckTommy thing exactly. But I remember years ago, when we (fandom) would talk about Buck and Eddie's current partners at the time (Ana and Taylor), we would always say, "whoever they end up with needs to be okay with Buck and Eddie's weirdness for each other, otherwise it's not gonna work." And, like, as far as we've seen so far, Tommy is okay with it. When he went over to Buck's, he mentioned Christopher specifically, mentioned (in so many words) that he's not trying to disrupt their family unit, and that's all I could really ask for out a non-Eddie/non-Buck partner. That checks all my boxes, if we're honest because that family unit is, quite literally, everything to me.
Tommy wants to teach Buck. He wants to give him flying lessons and teach him Muay Thai. Sorry I love a man who gives patient, and occasionally horny, instruction. As if that's my fault.
Tommy's fingers on Buck's chin when he kisses him. Swooning just thinking about it. 🙂↕️
I like that Tommy left Buck on the curb. Now, I know this was VERY controversial for some people. But, like, Buck is not a five year old. He didn't die, and his actions had a consequence. Everyone was like "he should have told him he was leaving him!" But. Okay. When did he have time? They got the check -> Eddie showed up -> Eddie left -> Buck and Tommy got up to leave -> Tommy said he was leaving. By MY approximation, that is the only quiet moment they had for him to say that he was making his exit. But! I could be wrong! Either way! 💕 I like that he wasn't mean about it. He knows his worth enough to not put up with bullshit, unlike Taylor, for example, who stayed with Buck even after he kissed someone else and I think someone who knows their worth and who's going to clock him on his shit is something Buck is going to appreciate in a partner.
I like that Tommy showed up to the coffee date. I like that Buck asked him to show up to the coffee date. I love that being with Tommy inspires Buck to take action in his own relationships instead of just settling. 9-1-1 really clocked his (and Maddie's) tea when they called them "the fugitive and the settler." Buck settles into these relationships, without really considering whether or not it's what he wants, because he's scared of being alone. That's always been his problem. But he wants Tommy, wants him to the point of taking action in order to have him, and that's 😮💨😮💨😮💨 That's the money shot, baby !!
I really, really, really like that Tommy promised Buck he'd be there for the wedding and then tried everything in his power to show up. And did show up. It's my favorite BuckTommy thing. Buck needs someone outside of his codependent family clusterfuck (affectionate) to show up for him, and no one before Tommy ever has. Abby relied on him emotionally so heavily, Ali was more of his emotional equal but was unable to handle his job. Taylor was... Taylor, and Natalia was mostly interested in his death. So Buck hasn't really had a partner who has actively prioritized him before and so far, Tommy seems to. I really like that.
"EvAn," said in all Tommy's many, gently exasperated and/or deeply adoring tones
My second favorite BuckTommy thing is how earnest and attentive Tommy is to Buck's emotional needs. Which circles back to the first bullet point I made, because it's such a consistent theme with them. But when Bobby was hurt, Buck was ready and willing to brush off how he was feeling about that experience. This makes sense because, looking at his other partners, Buck has very rarely had the emotional space to lay his burdens at their feet. But Tommy clocked his angst and hit him first with that look, that said he was reading him, assessing him, and then hit him again with the "you okay?" and allowed Buck to say as much or as little as he wanted. I really like that, that's beautiful to me.
Canon Daddy kink. Sorry, it has to be said. Of all the ships I've had where I've looked at one guy (gn), and looked at the other guy (gn), and been like "oh yeah, y'all definitely get into some freak shit," never in my LIFE has it been made canon. The sun is shining, the world is a beautiful place, etc etc
So yeah, those are a few of my favorite BuckTommy things! They're fun, they're my new favorite toy, and I love them. Hope this helps!
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part 5/7
is it silly that this is my favorite in this series? i really enjoyed writing kaya and I wanna do it again at some point :')
[op comic masterpost]
[pg1] panel 2: Kaya: Oh! Dr. Law! I didn't expect to find you in our library.
panel 3: Law: K-Kaya-ya!
panel 4: Law: Uh. Ahem. Excuse me. I hope you don't mind me borrowing your books.
panel 5: Kaya: Oh of course not! I'm just shocked to hear we have books you don't! What are you studying?
panel 6: Law: UHHHHH
[pg2] panel 10: Kaya: Oh! Is someone on your crew pregnant? Ikkaku??
panel 11: Law (thinking): She doesn't know Ikkaku is trans. Does she not know that I am?? I just assumed Nose-ya would have mentioned it. But that makes sense. If Straw Hat didn't already know Nose-ya was trans it's not like I would have told him.
panel 12: Kaya: ...?
panel 13: Law (thinking): Fuck, I've been quiet too long. I can't throw Ikkaku under to bus. Just say something.
panel 14: Law: No. Kaya: Oh. Then why...? Law (thinking): Wait, shit
[pg3] panel 15: Law: My, uh...brother...'s...wife. Yeah, we're taking him back to Zou soon...because his wife is pregnant...and I...want...to help...?
panel 16: Kaya: Oh, how sweet! Congrats "Uncle Law" hehe. If you have any questions I could help with let me know!! I specialized in traumatic injury, but I did deliver a few babies in Syrup Village! On smaller islands like that you wear a lot of hats.
panel 17: Law: And you've...been pregnant. Kaya: Well, yeah, but I wasn't my own doctor! Could you imagine if I had tried to deliver the twins myself? Even a doctor needs a doctor, you know that.
panel 18: Law: ...right.
panel 19: Law: ...what...what was it like?
panel 20: Kaya: Oh, my pregnant patients were actually pretty fun! I suppose it makes sense that as a pirate ship doctor you wouldn't have had to know obstetrics. But it was always so lovely to hand a parent their--
[pg4] panel 21: Kaya: ...newborn...baby...?
panel 23: Kaya: ...I'm sorry, Dr. Law. If there's context I need you'll have to give it to me. I'm not good at guessing.
panel 24: Law: What do you mean, I just gave you context. Kaya: With all due respect, you're full crying. It's a new sight for me!
panel 25: Kaya: You can tell me what's going on! I'm told I'm a very good listener
panel 26: Law: ...You Straw Hats sure are a pain Kaya: Sorry, hehe
panel 28: Law: ...I...ahem...so number one, if you didn't know...I'm...I'm trans.
panel 29: Law: But not like your husband. He got the works from Ivankov-ya...I never felt the need to seek that out.
[pg5] panel 30: Kaya: ...I see
panel 31: Kaya: How far along are you? Law: ..12 weeks, give or take. Kaya: Well, I've provided obstetric care of all kinds. So whatever questions you're researching here...why don't you ask me instead of being your own doctor?
panel 32: Law: ...Same question. What was it like?
panel 33: Kaya: Being pregnant was a horror show!
panel 34: Law: A glowing review. Kaya: Oh, sorry! I can lie if you'd prefer!
panel 35: Kaya: I was just so sick my first trimester! Law (speaking over her): KAYA-YA I THOUGHT I WAS DYING FOR TWO WEEKS WHEN WILL IT STOP I CAN ONLY EAT RICE.
panel 36: Kaya: It's different for everyone. By the end it wasn't quite so bad for me, though. And I love my kids so much. They were such cute newborns!! So I was alright being uncomfortable for awhile. Because that's what we wanted, you know?
panel 37: Kaya (off screen): What do you and Luffy want, Dr. Law?
[pg6] panel 38: Law: ...We haven't decided yet. We're giving it to the end of the week. I'm trying to think about it rationally. But I just keep getting emotional any time I talk about it. It's strange.
panel 39: Kaya: An emotional decision and a bad decision aren't inherently synonymous, you know.
panel 40: Law: ...your bedside manner is impeccable, Dr. Kaya-ya. Kaya: Well, thank you! Next time let's meet in the infirmary, mine or yours.
panel 41: Kaya: I'll be your doctor through this, okay?
panel 42: Law: ...Okay...Thank you. Kaya: Of course!
#my art#lawlu#law x luffy#luffy x law#lulaw#cw dysphoria#cw unplanned pregnancy#cw implied discussion of abortion
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Can I request Azriel and Gardenia please? I’m a sucker for hidden families <3
Gardenia (Azriel x Reader)
Warnings: mentions of blood, angsty? kind of maybe, a happy ending though
Word Count: 1.3k
❀° Event Masterlist ❀°
A/N: Hi! Thank you so much for requesting and participating in my writing event! I hope you enjoy what I've done with it! This is set when Feyre first comes to the Night Court! Please enjoy and feel free to reach out again! Slots for the series are still open so please request. I'm working through my inbox after being sick so if you did request I promise I see it! As always, constructive criticism is welcome! <3
Following the screaming bouncing off the stone walls in the House of Wind, Feyre finds herself in Azriel’s room. The sight alone is enough to make her want to vomit, let alone the metallic scent of blood staining the air. Madja is knelt beside Azriel on the bed, armed with a needle and thread, trying to stitch the wound he somehow sustained.
The gash is massive and gaping. The cut starts in his lower stomach and stretches to his sternum. The combination of the stinging of Madja’s healing work and the wound makes even the stoic Spymaster scream like a babe.
Feyre doesn’t know much about the missions Azriel gets sent on, and after this, she's not sure she wants to.
“RHYS!” Azriel barely can grit out the words behind his clenched jaw. Rhysand is by his side in an instant, kneeling on the other side of the bed. Azriel turns his sweat-soaked head and grasps a hand with Rhys.
“What do you need?” Rhys’s voice is grave, eyes darting between hazel eyes and the blood seeping out onto the sheets.
“Go get her.” This is the most serious Feyre has ever seen Azriel. Rhys’s eyes dart to Feyre and then back to Az and nods once before disappearing into thin air. She doesn’t have any time to consider who “her” might be before Madja snaps at her to get clean water and bandages.
It takes another hour but she and Madja finally get Azriel stable and asleep.
Feyre feels like she could sleep for a lifetime as she stumbles out of the room. When she steps into the House’s sitting room she is met with the absolute last sight she was expecting.
Rhys is sitting on one of the armchairs, a small boy with Illyrian wings perched on his lap, and a heavily pregnant female is pacing in front of the roaring fire.
Three pairs of eyes snap to look at her for answers.
“He’s stable, but he’s asleep.” she sees the female visibly sag with relief as tears well up in her eyes. She smiles at Feyre briefly, before looking at Rhysand who nods in return. She drops a kiss on the boy's head before she’s running down the hall.
Feyre looks to Rhys for answers as he bounces the boy on his knee.
“Feyre darling, this is Atlas, Az’s son. That was his mate,” he dips his head down the hall as her eyes widen in shock.
“Hello, Miss Feyre.” The small boy smiles at her despite the dark atmosphere in the room. Looking at him she can’t mistake the babe for anyone else's, the mop of black hair and the wings make up the perfect picture. The only mismatching piece is the eyes, which she assumes belong to you.
“Hello,” she gives the boy her sweetest smile and he seems to beam further at her. The boy averts his attention back to Rhys, and she realizes he can’t be any older than five.
“Uncle Rhys, can I go play?” He nods at Atlas who runs over to rifle through a bag and settles on a small mat set up in the corner.
“I didn’t know Az had a family,” Feyre says settling in the armchair across from Rhys, blue eyes darting to the child playing quietly.
“Azriel is very private,” he reaches over to pour a glass of whiskey, passing it to her and then pours another one for himself. He takes a long drink from the glass before continuing. “Because of the nature of his work, he keeps his family hidden away from almost everyone but the Inner Circle.” Violet eyes watch Atlas before he looks back at Feyre, expression surprisingly grim. “I can’t say I blame him.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
You haven’t let go of Azriel’s hand since you sat in the chair perched beside his bed. It made you sick to your stomach seeing your mate lying there. So still. So pale. Completely at odds with the male you’ve come to know and love. You decided to keep your son out of the room.
He doesn’t need to see his father like this.
You had felt the panic drift down the bond, along with a brief electric flash of pain, and then nothing. Az had closed his end of the bond to shield you from his struggle, but you had been pouring concern down the other side. You had been trying to remain calm so Atlas wouldn’t sense your panic when Rhys appeared and brought you here.
All you could do was watch the rising and falling of his chest to reassure yourself he was alive. He was breathing. He would come back to you like he always promised. You pressed kisses to each one of his knuckles and sent waves of love to your mate. You didn’t know how long it had been, hours most likely when hazel eyes creaked open to meet yours. It feels like you’ve released a breath you didn’t know you were holding. You scramble to pour a glass of water and hand it to Az. He chugs it all in one go, and you refill it to pass it back to him.
“Hello, love.” he manages a small smile, and you let out a wet laugh as you try to stop the tears flowing out of your eyes. He reaches a scarred hand out to wipe your cheek, and you turn your head to press a kiss to his palm. “I’m sorry,” he mutters out around a dry throat.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” You shake your head and squeeze all your love into Azriel’s wrist. You refuse to let his hand leave your cheek, needing the contact. You knew what being mated to the Spymaster would entail, and you swore yourself to him at the alter anyway.
“I worried you. You should have Madja look over you. It can’t be good when you’re this far along.” You shake your head at him incredulously. Leave it to Azriel to be worried about you when he almost bled out. “Where’s Atlas?” he looks around the room, noting his son’s absence.
“He’s safe. He’s in the other room with Rhys and Feyre.” You watch something in Azriel calm now that he knows his son is safe, and it warms something deep in your chest. You reach out to Rhy’s mind sending him a message to bring Atlas to his father. A moment later you hear footsteps coming down the hall. Rhys, Feyre, and your son appear in the doorway. Atlas runs into the room at the sight of his father.
“Daddy!” You catch your son around the waist before he jumps right onto Azriel’s stomach. It’s not his fault, he leaps onto Az like this almost every morning.
“Atlas,” You press a kiss into the inky crown of hair on your son's head as he squirms to get on the bed with his dad. “We have to be careful with Daddy right now because he’s hurt remember?” His big eyes look at you before returning to Az, now seeming to see the thick layer of bandages that cover his stomach.
“Oh,” your son mutters, looking as if he’s been chastised. “I’m sorry, Dad.” Azriel gently pulls Atlas to his chest, planting kisses all over his face and head.
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Azriel promises, his eyes welling up a little as he looks at his son. He can’t believe he almost lost this, his perfect family, and almost didn’t even get to meet his second child. Rhys clears his throat from the doorway, and Azriel meets his and Feyre’s eyes. He looks at you again and you dip your chin in conformation.
He takes a deep breath, but Feyre’s basically already family anyway, even if she doesn’t know it yet.
“Feyre, this is my mate.”
#acotar#acomaf#acowar#acosf fanfiction#acotar imagine#azriel acotar#azriel x reader#azriel#azriel imagine#phoenix's bouquet
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