#i ate all the cookies and stacked the creme together
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housecow · 3 months ago
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So breeding for you is less "I fantasise about being nine months pregnant 24/7"
And more "I fantasise about having to excuse myself at a high school reunion because A) 450lb girls can't fit through this doorframe and B) someone else's baby cried and now I'm lactating like a dairy cow"
Good to know 🤔
bold of you to assume my high school reunion won’t take place in the competition gym, which is wheelchair accessible AND has double doors (they’re such a cheap school district) 👀 but stoppp i think i actually blushed at this bc. that’s hot as fuck.
letting my husband take care of the mingling and talking while i go take care of the excess milk. coming back and overhearing something along the lines of, “yeah, it’s not a surprise she’s this big now. everything she wanted to go out to do in high school was food-related.” “y’all have three kids?? and none of them are named after percy jackson characters?”
later i’d be asked: “why didn’t you tell me about that time you ate an entire family sized thing of oreos during your 30 minute lunch period?” and. “so THIS is why you weren’t even nervous about going. everyone knew you were a cow then, too.”
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chubbology · 4 years ago
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Overindulged
prompt: feeder boyfriend quits his job and balloons as fat as his feedee/feeder girlfriend
He drove his sleek BMW up his driveway and into the middle garage just as dusk settled into night. He’d stayed overtime at work again, and to make it up to his girlfriend, three dozen fresh assorted donuts sat in the passenger seat.
Sure enough, immediately upon opening the back door with his stack of boxes, he heard her voice: “Late.”
“It’s the end of the month,” he said. “What do you expect? Brought you something though, so don’t be mad. Come in here.”
He set the boxes down on the granite island, then waited, sucking in a breath. His pupils dilated as his favorite person in the world waddled through the wide archway leading into the kitchen. After giving him a pout, she pulled the boxes toward her with arms that hung, at their heaviest, over half a foot with fat.
She was a beautiful, enormous woman. He had met her on a plane three years ago on a business trip to Paris. She’d pulled him into conversation like a warm whirlpool, and he’d listened in awe to her life story: miserable wife of a banker to a happily divorced entrepreneur, flying first class on her own dime.
With a smug, knowing smile, she talked about how she used to be skinny for her ex’s sake and now was free. He couldn’t help but let his gaze roam over her blatantly overweight body. Thighs pressing firm on either armrest of the wide seat, bust prominent and heavy, belly button deep and visible through her dress.
Bad news is, she’d concluded, I just settled a messy lawsuit that lost me my career and nearly bankrupted me. But she shrugged, as if such was life. I’m taking my last-hurrah vacation until I have no choice but to eat tiny, unsatisfying meals again.
He decided that couldn’t come to pass, so he spent as much time with her outside his business obligations as he could, taking her to meal after meal, falling in love as she ate to her heart’s content and shamelessly talked about how she’d rather fallen in love with gaining weight. It titillated and empowered her. By the end of their two week stay in Paris, she was twelve pounds bigger and he had invited her to live with him for a while as she looked for a new career path. She accepted.
Three years later, she’d found her calling without having to leave his luxurious, spacious home. Doing what she loved.
She was almost four hundred and fifty pounds now, last he was updated. She always wore leggings that clung to every lump and bulge of cellulite, and she liked to tease him by wearing crop tops, letting her massive belly and side rolls hang out and wobble as they pleased.
He watched with soft eyes as she stuffed herself with four jelly-filled doughnuts. Between bites she said, “These long hours at your soulless job are no good. My fans want to see more of you.” More eating. “The last time you fed me on camera was weeks ago!”
She gave him an imploring look as she ate a fifth doughnut. Boston creme. Her face, once conventionally pretty, now had a sexy overindulged look. She’d lost her jawline to additional chins and neck fat, and her round, fatty cheeks quivered as she chewed. Even before she finished the fifth doughnut, she picked up a sixth. “And don’t think they haven’t noticed that little tummy you have now.”
“What?” He looked down at himself, blushing at how his tie sat out a bit on slightly stretched white buttons.
Before he could say anything, she pushed a chocolate doughnut in his hand. “I know people willing to pay a pretty petty to see you chunk out.” She smirked. “Pop a couple of those buttons.”
He laughed dismissively, but as he ate the doughnut, he contemplated the press of his new chub against his shirt. His pants felt a little tight in the ass, too, now that he thought about it. What if? he thought.
Suddenly, he found himself admitting: “I’ve been thinking of quitting.”
Her eyebrows rose.
“I want to spend more time with you,” he explained. He hadn’t meant to talk about it now, but here he was. Out of nervousness, he pulled one of the boxes toward himself and picked another doughnut, this one caving in under its sprinkles. He took a heavenly bite. “I have plenty of money saved and invested to take care of both of us for a long time. I just don’t see why I…”
She waddled over to his side of the island and took his free hand. “You know I’d support you.” Then she pulled him closer, into a smiling kiss. “I’ll support you real good.”
*
Before his two week notice even ended, he was eight pounds heavier, and he relished how his coworkers’ eyes lingered on his burgeoning waistline. Soon, his tummy was pushing over his pants. His chest felt thicker. He felt his ass spread wider when he sat down. He ate desserts all the time, and his girlfriend lavished him with attention (food) at every opportunity when he was home, encouraging him to eat in amounts he’d never let himself eat before. She started filming - with his consent, as always - the development of his chubbing up. Her fans loved him even more than they already did, compliments coming in faster than he could read them.
One month into being an unemployed man, she stuffed him on camera until one of his shirt buttons popped off. The experience was more of a revelation for him than even becoming officially overweight; that night, after she went to sleep, he got out of bed, squeezed into an old pair of slacks that barely fit him, then gorged himself in the kitchen until he gasped at the relief of his ass seam tearing open, unable to accommodate his butt, which everyone online said was growing gorgeously fat. His heart fluttered just thinking about it, and he hoped his ass kept growing.
It did.
“I admit, I never thought you’d be this much of a pear,” his girlfriend told him, six months into his steady ballooning. They were admiring his progress in the large bathroom mirror. He may have looked small relative to his partner’s morbid obesity, but somehow, they were both more fascinated with his growth at the moment. She outlined his bottom heavy figure with her hands. Fat had indeed stored most eagerly in his ass, thighs, and hips. His belly drooped soft and wide.
“I love it,” she said. “Love everything about you.” But then something else came into her expression. “Except how you’ve stopped picking up after yourself.”
He swallowed, and said honestly, “Sorry. I know I’m getting lazier.”
“We’ll have to hire a maid.” She grinned wickedly. “Or do two pigs deserve to roll in their sty?”
*
A year into living on his passive income and her subscribers, the couple had not yet hired any cleaning services, and his country club house was...well. Not trashed, but messy and disorganized. She blamed the five pounds she’d lost over the past month on having to constantly throw his trash away. She punished him by making him stand while drinking a whole liter of full-sugar soda. Since he’d developed a strong distaste for any physical effort as he sunk deeper into obesity, he grumbled the whole time. When he finally fell back on the couch, she sat too. Together, they took up most of it. But while she looked perfectly composed, he was panting raggedly, slightly sweaty, a food stain on his pants.
“Look.” She reached out and held his chubby wrist. “I can tell that the fatter you get, the more your natural inclination is to be a pig.” She spoke with total matter-of-factness. As if the emergence of his inner pig was unsurprising and inevitable. “It’s not uncommon in men - that urge to oink and eat as a way of life. But we share this space. I help pay off this house. Please throw away your take out containers.”
Then she added, at his long-suffering sigh, “I’ll reward you.”
He met her gaze. “Tonight?”
“Tonight.”
*
This time, there were no cameras. There was just her, sitting on one side of their king bed and him on the other, breathing heavy, taking her reward one bite at a time.
Everywhere in their bed were containers and packages and napkins and soda bottles. He had eaten mexican and noodles and burgers and fries. He’d eaten candy bars and sundaes and milkshakes and chunky cookies. He was so full he could feel the skin of his belly stretching. He could practically feel the skin of his thighs stretching, as if they were filling up heavier with fat right then, as he was determinedly overfed. He swallowed another bite of greasy cheeseburger.
“Keep going. I can tell you're slowing down, but I’ll have none of that yet. I want to see progress from you.”
“I don’t know…”
“Do you want to feel the ecstasy of squeezing through a doorframe or are you going to plateau at being just fat?”
He let out a breathy moan as he ate another bite of the cheeseburger. His girlfriend knew him too well. She knew he liked the new challenges being big was causing him. She knew it turned him on that he sat so much fatter in his own car, belly pressing against everything, ass barely fitting at all. She knew his hands had begun cupping his hips as a half-unconscious habit, admiring his own width.
He liked how his thighs had to push past each other, jiggling every time. He even liked when he accidentally bumped into things, because it was a hot reminder that he wasn’t the same. He was like her now. He was fat. He was a pig. He wanted to eat and get so big he could barely even waddle. He wanted to squeeze through doorways. He wanted to get stuck.
“I want everything,” he said. And she smiled, temporarily pleased.
*
Thank you to the reader who commissioned this work!
I'd love to write more. Check me out <3 etsy.com/shop/Chubbology
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cakesunflower · 5 years ago
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Just My Kind [Teacher!Calum AU] Part 2
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Previous Part: Part 1
One of the biggest changes from teaching in a small town in Nevada to a high school in Los Angeles was the technology. It wasn’t that Odessa was technologically challenged—she was aware of most of the software the school used and was able to get around it pretty well. But Monday was proving to be a challenge as her computer kept crashing, preventing her slideshow from appearing on the Smart Board, and Odessa had been trying her best not to get flustered in front of the ninth and tenth graders even as they tried to help her out. It only made her feel worse when she failed to remember a couple of their names.
Odessa told herself she was still new at the school, and wasn’t used to teaching so many students since her old school was less than half the size of this one. It was understandable that it would take her time to put names to the faces she would be seeing every day, but that didn’t meant it didn’t make her feel like shit for getting names wrong or just not remembering them at all. She didn’t want her students to think she didn’t care.
When her last class of the day walked out of the classroom, Odessa let out a sharp breath and dropped her forehead to rest on her folded arms on top of her desk, shoulders sinking with the breath she expelled. She closed her eyes, hearing the bustling of the hallway outside as students lingered by lockers or made their way to their next class, and tried to calm herself down. Telling herself she was being overdramatic and that it was just one bad day wasn’t necessarily helping, but Odessa had never really been one to go easy on herself. 
“Alright, Miss Kline?” Odessa looked up at the sound of the deep accented voice, looking towards the door to see Calum watching her with raised eyebrows. He stood with arms crossed over his chest, right shoulder leaning against the door frame as he eyed her curiously.
Odessa ignored the embarrassed flush she felt heat her skin as she sat up with a deep inhale, shoulders straightening as she offered Calum a small, close mouthed smile. “Just one of those days, I guess,” she told him truthfully, hands bracing on her desk. 
Calum clicked his tongue. “Ah,” he sounded knowingly, one corner of his lips quirking up. “Rough one, was it?”
She scoffed, sound nearly defeated as her shoulders slumped. “That’s kind of an understatement.”
He chuckled lowly, pushing himself away from the door. “Right—come to my room,” Calum said, ticking his head to the left encouragingly before he took a step over and disappeared.
Odessa raised her eyebrows, curiosity itching at her as she stood up and followed him, stepping out in the hall in time to see him enter his classroom two doors down. The hallways were emptying out as students began rushing, and when Odessa entered Calum’s classroom, she realized he didn’t have a class this period, either. 
She liked his classroom; the desks were all placed in a U shape, his included, and he had told her it was because he wanted the set up to be the way he taught: open where everyone saw and heard one another. Just like Odessa’s room, he had a bookshelf in the back stacked to the brim, a closet where the textbooks were stored at the end of the year, and bulletin boards in the back with literary posters as well as some of bands and musicians, which wasn’t surprising. 
Odessa followed Calum towards his desk, watching as he sat down in his chair, giggling when the weight of his body and the wheels on the chair had him rolling away until he leaned forward the grab the desk and pull himself back. Calum merely grinned before he reached for the bottom drawer, pulling it out to show Odessa the snacks he had in there. “What the hell?” Odessa laughed, eyebrows shooting up as she looked inside.
Calum leaned back in his chair, hands lacing over his stomach as he told her, “They’re mostly for me whenever I get hungry, but sometimes I give ’em to a student who impresses me the most in class.” 
She felt an amused smirk curl at her lips, sitting at the edge of his desk as she raised an eyebrow. “Oh, so you show favoritism?”
“I show appreciation,” he corrected her with a grin. Then he gestured to the drawer and added, “Go on—pick something you like.”
She blinked in mild surprise. “Really?”
Calum nodded. “It’s my dumb way of trying to cheer you up,” he told her, and his words had Odessa’s heart melting because the gesture was so kind and thoughtful—something she truly appreciated after the day she’d had.
“It’s not dumb,” Odessa told him, her voice as soft as her smile as she looked down at the drawer. Her eyes caught sight of the small blue bag of mini sandwich cremes, bending down to pull it out before straightening and letting her eyes meet Calum’s. He still wore that smile on his face, kind and charming, and Odessa nodded at him with a smile of her own. “I appreciate it, Calum.”
He used his foot to close the drawer and sat up, propping his elbows on the desk as he looked up at her with dark brown eyes, resting his chin on his knuckles. The two of them were close to one another, yet Odessa ignored the heat of his body and focused on his words as he spoke. “I know it wasn’t an ideal day, Odessa, but you’ll get the hang of it, yeah? The transition to a new school isn’t easy but, like I said, if you need anything, let me know. I’m here to help.” Then, with a return of his charming smile, he added, “And provide comfort snacks.”
Odessa let out a small laugh as she opened the bag of cookies. “These are my favorite,” she told him as she held up one small cookie between her index finger and thumb. “Thank you, though. I guess I’m still getting used to teaching in a school of this size compared to where I taught back home,” she reasoned with a tired sigh, dropping her gaze to the bag in her hand. “Everything’s so different.”
“I can imagine,” Calum hummed in understanding, tilting his head to let his fingers run through his blonde hair and muss them up a bit before she felt his gaze on her again.
“On top of that, I’m still trying to adjust to living in a city and that on its own is challenging.”
With a tilt of his head, Calum inquired, “You don’t like big cities?”
She shrugged after swallowing one of cookie. “Not really used to them,” Odessa told him, crossing her ankles, making sure she didn’t knock over anything on Calum’s desk as she remained seated on it. “Spent most of my life in my hometown in Nevada except for when I’d visit my grandparents or the four years at college, but—” she let out a small laugh as she shot Calum a look. “Berkeley isn’t the same as Los Angeles.”
“Yeah—L.A.’s in a league of its own,” Calum told her with a gentle chuckle before sitting up once more. “But it’s all about giving it time, y’know? Before you know it, you’ll be in love with the city. And if you need a little help with that, I’m happy to offer my services,” he added with arms crossing over his chest as he shrugged modestly.
Odessa felt a smile tug at her lips, lowering her chin as she laughed gently. “You’ll be my tour guide?”
Calum scoffed with a roll of his eyes, knocking her foot with his as he told her. “I’m your friend. Get that through your head, Miss Kline.”
“Sorry, Coach,” Odessa returned with a teasing grin, referring to him as what the students did. No one really called him Mr. Hood, Odessa had come to learn. Being the soccer coach for the boys’ varsity soccer team, all of the students called him Coach, whether they were his athletes or not. Calum grinned at her use of it, clearly fond of the title. 
She continued eating the cookies, a comfortable silence falling upon them for a brief moment. But when Odessa’s blue eyes landed on the instrument in the corner of the room, she raised an eyebrow. “You brought your guitar?”
Calum turned his head to follow her gaze, as if he’d forgotten it was there. “Oh, yeah,” he answered with a chuckle, looking back up at her. The fluorescent lights of the room glimmered against his dark irises. “I do this thing where for a couple of the stories I teach the class, I’ve got a song for them that I’ll sing for the class. The kids seem to enjoy it.”
Odessa blinked as both of her eyebrows rose, feeling the awe rush through her too quickly and the smile on her face widen as she took in his words. Why was that so endearing? The devotion Calum had to his students was just like Odessa’s, maybe more, and it made her all the more fond of him. She could tell, with the glimmer in his eyes, how much he truly enjoyed teaching, how he wanted to make it fun for his students, and as a teacher, Odessa admired that. “That’s great,” she sounded with a light laugh, the appreciation clear in her tone. “A coach, a teacher, a musician—you’re just gunning for Teacher of the Year, huh?”
Calum blew a light raspberry, pressing his lips together after as he waved her off. “’Course not—I do this for the kids.” Then, with a smirk, he added, “But the title isn’t too shabby.”
She laughed before popping another cookie into her mouth, shaking her head in amusement as Calum merely grinned, the crinkles by his eyes softening his otherwise sharp features. Odessa could easily say this budding friendship wasn’t too shabby, either.
*****
Wednesday evening found Odessa at a local Italian restaurant for an early dinner with Sierra, Crystal, KayKay, and Paige. She had just gotten off work, staying an extra hour or so in her classroom grading classwork before leaving to join the four other women, who made her feel welcome as soon as they all had been introduced. Odessa was grateful for the company, despite being with her college roommate and the mild discomfort she felt in Paige’s presence. Still, she wasn’t going to let it put a damper on her mood.
“How’re your students, Odessa?” Sierra questioned, sitting across from her as she ate her salmon. “Are they a handful?”
Odessa let out a laugh after sipping her drink. “Not for the most part, no,” she answered, picking up her fork. “They’re all so smart, you know? Some of them have such interesting perspectives on the books we read that I never picked up on. Sometimes I think they should teach me instead,” she laughed.
As her laughter subsided, KayKay asked, “And are the other teachers nice?”
“Yeah, totally,” Odessa nodded truthfully before scoffing lightly. “But for the most part, Calum and I stick together since we’re the only ones close in age and in the same department.”
The second his name fell from her lips, Odessa had a feeling she was going to regret it, her thought confirmed when she saw the subtle, almost unnoticeable quirk of Paige’s eyebrow. She liked Calum, Odessa knew, and when Paige liked a guy, she had the habit of becoming protective, eyes sharp and ready to defend what she believed was hers. Even if it wasn’t. “You two get to hang out a lot during school?” Paige asked as she reached for her glass of wine. 
To anyone who didn’t know Paige as well as Odessa did, her question probably came off as innocent, just conversationally curious. But Odessa could pick up on the skeptical undertones lurking within her voice, like she was digging for information. Would Odessa ever be able to keep her guard down around her? “Only when we don’t have class,” she nonchalantly answered, twirling some noodles around the piece of shrimp on her fork. “He’s good company.”
“Mm, speaking of which,” Crystal hummed, obliviously and fortunately cutting off whatever Paige may have had to say. Blue eyes landing on Odessa’s, she said, “Michael and I are having a little party Saturday night. I think he’s gonna DJ the whole thing and maybe we can get the boys to actually play something.” Gaze pleading, Crystal added, “Please come.”
Sierra and KayKay added on their pleads, and Odessa couldn’t fight the smile that upturned her lips. These new friends of hers were sweet and kind, and Odessa could easily admit their company was making her transition into living in Los Angeles easier. The friendship they offered her was one she was grateful for, easily putting her at ease as she agreed to come by to the party.
Once they ordered dessert, Odessa excused herself to go to the bathroom, only to press her teeth together as Paige shot up as well and chirped, “I’ll join you!”
Odessa wished it was socially acceptable to sit back down and say never mind.
Instead, she merely pressed her lips together in a close mouthed smile before making her way to the bathroom in the back, all too aware of Paige following after her. Odessa didn’t mind the silence between them—preferred it, actually—as the heels of her ankle boots clicked sharply against the floor of the bathroom, making her way into an empty stall. When she stepped out after flushing, she saw Paige by the sink, reapplying her nude lipstick as Odessa stepped up, a sink’s distance away, to wash her hands.
The silence between them didn’t last long enough. “I’m excited for Saturday—Michael could totally be, like, a professional DJ if he wanted to,” Paige hummed after rubbing her lips together.
Odessa didn’t want to, but she still made conversation as she pumped some soap into her hand. “Yeah, I’m looking forward to it. It’ll be fun if the boys play something, too.”
“Oh, hell yeah—they’re incredible,” Paige nodded in appraisal as Odessa dried her hands with a paper towel. As she then moved to reapply her own lip gloss, Paige turned to lean against the sink, arms crossing over her chest as she innocently continued, “I love when they have gigs. They’re so fun.” With a quick laugh, she added, “Most of the time Cal and I end up going home after, so I can’t wait.”
Odessa fought to keep the scoff from escaping—or keep the unwanted image Paige’s words conjured up out of her head—as she balled up the paper towel and threw it in the trash. The forced innocent, nonchalant tone in Paige’s voice told Odessa that Paige was only trying to get some kind of reaction out of her—not that Odessa would give her one. Or even had the right to have a reaction. Odessa prided herself in not letting her feelings run her too much, made it a point to believe that whatever attraction she may feel towards Calum was just that—an attraction. Physical, that’s all. It wouldn’t be the smartest idea for it to be more; he was a friend, her friends’ friend, and a coworker. No point in risking any of that.
Especially if Paige was involved.
Still, Odessa wanted to laugh at how hard she was trying to—to what? Fish for something? Trying to see if Odessa was interested in Calum because Paige already had a claim over him? Please. All Odessa wanted to do, in that moment, was point out that the boys didn’t have a gig and that Paige was just trying too hard—especially when she remembered Luke’s words from that night of Calum not being as interested in Paige as she was in him. But Odessa was nice. She’d never say it—to her face, at least.
So Odessa merely smiled as she glossed her lips, trying to keep whatever contempt she may feel for Paige at bay as she looked up, meeting Paige’s gaze through the reflection of the mirror. Odessa noticed the glimmer in Paige’s hazel eyes, sharp and purposeful. An easy smile quirked as Odessa’s lips as she offered a shrug. “Should be fun.” 
Whatever Paige was looking for, she wasn’t going to find it with Odessa.
*****
“Jeez—Grams, we don’t need all of these ingredients,” Odessa huffed, watching as Grams placed an abundance of the same items in their already filling shopping cart—all ingredients to make cookies, brownies, cakes, you name it. “You don’t have to bake every other day, you know.”
Grams scoffed dismissively, eyeing the different brands of chocolate chips. “It keeps me busy—plus, you know Grandpa loves his sweets. So do you.”
Odessa rolled her eyes, arms folded on top of the cart handlebar as they stood in the baking aisle. “Yeah, and so do you. Even though you have diabetes,” she responded pointedly with a raise of her eyebrows. If this kept up, Grams would be giving Odessa a heart attack—and not just from all the brownies and cookies.
“I take care of it, relax,” Grams hushed, not at all phased by Odessa’s words. Not that she expected her to be. 
It was Odessa’s turn to scoff. “Eating one brownie or cookie every time you bake them doesn’t mean you’re taking care of it,” she sighed, running her hands through her straight brown hair and used her free hand to push the cart into the cereal aisle. “That adds up, Grams.”
“You worry too much.”
Odessa stuck her tongue out at the older woman. “You don’t worry enough.”
Grams waved her off, clearly not taking Odessa’s worries too seriously, but Odessa knew Grams took some of it seriously. She had to, what with all of Odessa and Grandpa’s warnings and worries being sounded every time. It’s one of the reasons why Odessa decided to live with them—other than saving money and because they had all but pleaded for her to come stay with them. Grams always had the habit of running around to keep up with errands and housework, even when she was sick. She was the most stubborn person Odessa knew, and would often join in with her mom, a flight attendant, whenever she was on FaceTime with Grams and were all but yelling at her to sit down and relax. When she wasn’t working, Odessa made sure to take as much load off Grams’s plate as she could.
Clicking her tongue Grams said, “Can you grab that box? You’ve got long legs.”
Odessa scoffed as she glanced up at the family sized box of Cheerios, Grandpa’s favorite, sitting on one of the top shelves. Odessa already knew she wouldn’t be able to reach it, no matter the length of her legs, but tried anyway as she stretched her hang up and stood on the tips of her toes, grunting when she failed to grab the box.
“Damn,” she huffed, puckering her lips as she glared up at the box like it was mocking her. She settled back down on her feet as she glanced around to see if there was anyone who would be able to help, only to let out a scoff of disbelief when her eyes landed on the person turning into the aisle with a shopping cart of their own. With a gentle laugh escaping her, Odessa called out, “Hey, Calum.”
His eyes met hers upon hearing her call for him, and Odessa watched the smile upturn his lips as he continued his way over. The wheels of the shopping cart rattled as he approached them, greeting with a smile, “Miss Kline—fancy seein’ you here.”
Odessa chuckled as Grams spoke up, curiosity coloring her voice. “Who’s this?”
“Oh,” Odessa glanced at her grandmother, who came to stand next to her right when Calum stopped in front of them. “Grams, this is Calum. He’s an English teacher at the school and he’s also a friend of Luke’s.”
She watched as Grams’s eyebrows shot up, eyeing the tall, tattooed man in front of them as she smiled. Odessa could’ve sworn she saw a mischievous look in her grandmother’s blue eyes, which could never be a good sign. “Oh, the one you told us about?” With a chuckle and a gentle nudge to Odessa, she added, “He’s like your work-husband, isn’t he?”
“Uh—” Odessa nearly choked on her words as she gaped at Grams, her eyes widening in both amusement and embarrassment. Work-husband? Never had Odessa referred to Calum as that—or even thought of him as that, no matter how innocent the playful title may be. But Odessa knew her grandmother, knew the glint in her eye. The woman didn’t mean it as innocently as she uttered it. 
When Odessa forced herself to look at Calum, she wished for the ground to open up beneath her as she saw the completely amused raise of his eyebrows and the corners of his lips curled up, before pressing his smiling lips together to shoot Odessa a playful look. He looked too entertained by Grams’s words, and Odessa gave a shake of her head as she told him, “For the record, I never called you that.” Digging up some confidence, she added with a one shouldered shrug, “Besides, it’s a big commitment and I’ve only known you for a couple of weeks.”
Oh, God. Was she flirting with him in front of her grandmother? No. No, this wasn’t flirting, right? No matter how much it kind of felt like it was.
Next to Odessa, Grams chirped up, “Your grandpa and I married only after a month of knowing each other, so you two should be fine.”
“Oh, my God, Grams,” Odessa laughed, wondering if the nervousness in the sound was as evident as she could feel. Now her skin was heating up, cheeks flushing from the embarrassment she was faced with. She was all too aware of Calum’s gaze on her, could hear the deep, raspy sound of his amused chuckle as Odessa pulled her lower lip into her mouth. She never should’ve called him over. This was karma. Looking at Calum, though not entirely meeting his gaze, she asked, “Could you just—could you get a box of Cheerios down for us, please?”
Calum’s chuckles never subsided, and Odessa wanted to scream at the teasing tone his voice took as he responded, “Anything for my work-wife.”
Fucking hell.
Odessa exhaled sharply through her nose, fingers digging in her hair as she watched Calum easily reach up and pull down a box. He held it in his hands, grin apparent, as he offered it to Odessa. She pursed her lips, corners quirked, but just as she tried to reach for it, Calum’s grin widened as he pulled it away from her grasp and offered it to Grams instead. “Cereal for the lovely lady.”
Tongue pushing against the inside of her lower lip, Odessa scoffed as Grams let out a delighted laugh while receiving the box. She tapped it and said to Odessa pointedly, “I like him.”
She turned to drop the box in the cart and Odessa’s blue eyes locked on with Calum’s amused dark ones, a shit eating grin on his face as she stated bluntly, “We’re getting a divorce.”
Calum blew a raspberry before the boyish grin returned to his face. God—no wonder all of the students were obsessed with him. “We can talk about that at the Mike’s tonight,” he responded easily before quirking an eyebrow. “You are coming, right?”
Embarrassment slowly slipping away, Odessa found herself raising an eyebrow with a tilt of her head, replying, “Depends if you play something for us—I still have yet to listen to your band.”
The way his eyes lit up had Odessa’s smile widening, her heart giving a little leap at the excitement he so easily displayed as he gave a nod. “You’ve got my word.”
She smiled, all too aware of Grams watching them curiously, nosily. “Then I’ll be there.”
He nodded along, stepping back around his cart and tapping the handlebar with his fingers before gripping it and pushing it forward. “I’ll see you tonight,” Calum smiled before his gaze shifted over Odessa’s grandmother and added, “Good to meet you, Grams.”
Grams’s grin was too wide. “You too, honey!” His smile was charming as he left and Odessa looked at her grandmother, a pointed look on the young teacher’s face as Grams laughed. “I like him. He’s a cutie.” Then with a wink, she added, “Told you Luke would have cute friends.”
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tags: @irwinkitten @loveroflrh @meetashthere @astroashtonio @loverofhood @captain-what-is-going-on @angelbbycal @singt0mecalum @hopelessxcynic @lfwallscouldtalk @bodhi-black @findingliam-o @softlrh @highfivecalum @calumsmermaid @erikamarie41 @quintodosuniversos @longlastingdaydream @babylon-corgis @lukehemmingsunflower @pastelpapermoons @conquerwhatliesahead92 @rotten-kandy @metangi @neigcthood @ohhmuke @mindkaleidoscope @5sos-and-hessa @trustmeimawhalebiologist @vxlentinecal @pettybassists @vaporshawn @lu-my-golden-boi @visualm3nte @isabella-mae13 @dontjinx-it @lifeakaharry @neonweeknds @antisocialbandmate @ixcantxdecidexwhosxmyxfave @calpalbby @grreatgooglymoogly @sunnysidesblog @miahelizaaabeth @madelynerin @dramallamawithsparkles @kaytiebug14 @hoodskillerqueen @bitchinbabylon @empathycth @xhaileyreneex @inlovehoodx @bloodlinecal @sublimehood @madbomb @raabiac @britnicole11 @outofmylimitcal @wildflower-cth @bloodmoonashton @vxidhood @gosh-im-short @thesubtweeter @mycollectionofnuts @cthwldflwr @everyscarisahealingplace @socorroann​ @csykychchng   
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crispychrissy · 7 years ago
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Oreos
Summary: When Sam crosses you, you find the perfect way to take your revenge, while making sure you get a little something extra out of it. Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader, Dean Winchester Word Count: 2602 Warnings: Objectification of cookies, really bad puns, sexuality, implied smut, language A/N: This idea came from a very late night conversation with @saxxxology after I was giggling about cookie puns. I hope you all enjoy, I know I did. Beta’d by the lovely @there-must-be-a-lock. 
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You stomped angrily down the empty hallway of the bunker, your fists clenched tight at your sides, your jaw set and tense. You had finally reached your limit with the Winchesters and this time, there would be Hell to pay.
At first you assumed it was Dean that had broken the sacred oath both boys promised when you moved into the bunker with them eight months ago. You figured he would be the one to break because of his impulse control issues... but then again, he was your combat trainer and should have known you could kick his ass. He wouldn’t cross you.
It wasn’t until you found a long strand of chestnut brown hair at the scene of the crime that you knew it was Sam. For a health nut, the man really had a problem with his cravings. You grabbed the evidence and marched down the hallway into the kitchen, ready to spring on the unsuspecting culprit.
Dean was the first to look up when you quickly stormed into the room. His eyes went wide at your appearance and his mouth dropped open when he saw what you were carrying in your hand.
“Oh, no,” he whispered, drawing the attention of his brother. “Dude, you didn’t…”
“Huh?” Sam looked up at his brother and looked over at you. All the color drained from his face when you dropped the open and empty bag of Oreos on the table in front of him, sending black crumbs skittering across the table.
“Why did you eat my Oreos, Sam?” you hissed. You needed an explanation, and if the next words out of his mouth were not something about a spell or needing sugar or else he would die, you were going to take revenge in any way you saw fit.
“I’m sorry,” he timidly whispered, avoiding eye contact. “I was watching Netflix and wanted something to munch on. I didn’t mean to eat them all.”
“Sam,” you sighed, “there was half a bag in here.” You pinched the bridge of your nose and closed your eyes, bracing a hand on the table. “You do realize what you’ve done, right?”
“I’ll buy you a new bag, I swear,” he put his hands up in surrender, “I’ll get like ten of them. I’ll go to the store tomorrow. I’m really sorry, Y/N.” His voice was higher pitched than normal and you could tell he was actually pretty afraid of you at that moment.
You scoffed at Sam’s pathetic attempt to make it up to you and looked over at Dean, who was trying to suppress a smile as you scolded his brother. “Dean, do you remember the oath?”
“Don’t eat Y/N’s cookies. They are there for everyone’s safety during Shark Week. They are the chum that keeps the waters of the bunker safe.” He proudly rattled off, word-for-word, the only request you had when you moved into the bunker.
“And what did your brother do?”
“Ate Y/N’s cookies.”
You smiled and looked at Sam. “And do you remember what the punishment was?”
Dean nodded and Sam’s eyes went wide. “You would torment the offender until they begged for mercy.”
You flashed Sam a devilish grin and heard him curse under his breath. “Buying me more cookies is a start, but you best believe you’re not getting off that easy. I’m PMSing and unstable.”
“You’re so fucked, dude,” Dean whispered, earning him a glare from his brother as you sauntered out of the room.
Little did either of them know, getting fucked was your end game.
You and Sam had an interesting relationship. You were best friends, but you would flirt with each other all the time. The sexual tension was layered so thick between you that even Cas commented on it. Although you were constantly affectionate with each other, it always stopped before anything became physical, and you wanted that to change.
A little over a week ago, after one too many shots of whiskey, Dean had let slip that Sam harbored a huge crush on you. He explained that Sam was hesitant to let you know about his feelings because he didn’t want to ruin things in your friendship. You laughed and brushed it off at the time, but Dean’s words stuck with you.
It made you realize that you felt the same way and were afraid to make a move, too. Sam stealing your Oreos gave you the perfect excuse to test the waters and you walked down the hallway to your room. The moment you closed the door behind you, your head was buzzing with ideas on how to make sure your friendship with him turned into something much more.
Sam made good on his promise and bought you three bags of Double Stuff Oreos the following day, delivering them to you with his head dipped in shame, his eyes darting around out of fear. He had no idea what you had planned and the power you had over him was becoming intoxicating. Over the next week, you slowly built up the tension.
At first, you stuck to cookie-themed innuendos. You would separate two halves of an Oreo and slowly lick the creme off one side while making eye contact with him. You’d make innocent comments about loving being so full with creme that you couldn’t take any more. You’d even told him that cookies are best enjoyed with jugs… of milk.
After the cookie phase, you moved on to other small things. You’d walk around in a towel after your shower for a little bit longer than necessary, making sure Sam got a nice eyeful. You’d moan and stretch in his presence, making sure your shirt rode up to expose your midriff. You’d gently brush against him when you were both in the kitchen making food, and that’s when he started to notice the special attention you were giving him, and he knew you were up to something.
He tried his hardest to avoid you once he figured it out, but since Dean was in on the torture, he would constantly push his brother to interact with you. On the sixth day of the torture, Dean told Sam that he needed a lore book from library to work on a spell, when he knew full well you had it in your room.
You were sitting on your bed waiting for Sam in a spaghetti strapped tank top and boyshort panties, the lore book sitting the stack of books next to your dresser. A timid knock on your door drew your attention from the novel you were reading and you looked up.
“Come in,” you replied.
Sam opened the door and peeked around the corner. His eyes lingered on your body for a few moments and you audibly heard him gulp. “Hey, Y/N. Do you know where the 1700’s Romanian Witch spell book is?”
You hummed in fake thought and nodded. “I think I do, let me check the stack of books I have over here.” You got up from your bed and slowly walked over to the stack of books.
The moment you bent over and began to sort through them, pretending to look for the book you already knew was at the bottom of the stack, you heard Sam let out a small groan behind you. He was getting a nice view of your ass, and there was no mistaking it was having the desired effect on him that you wanted.
You pulled the book from the bottom of the stack and stood back up. You grinned up at the absolutely wrecked facial expression he had, and you held out the book in your hand.
”Is this the right one, sir?” you purred.
He shuddered when you called him “sir” and you smirked. The walls of the motel rooms you stay in while on hunts are usually pretty thin, and you easily picked up on Sam’s preferred title in bed by the women you’d hear screaming it at all hours of the night.
Sam didn’t respond, just continued to stare at you, his mouth slightly open. You raised an eyebrow at him and that seemed to snap him out of his stupor. He cleared his throat and nodded before snatching the book from your hands and quickly leaving your room.
On the morning of the seventh day, you rolled out of bed and stretched, opting to not change out of your tank top and short shorts. Normally, you would pull on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, but this time you wanted to make sure Sam got a complete eyeful of your assets. You had already let Dean know what you were planning and he said he would stay away while you exposed Sam to what you hoped would be the final day required of his torment.
You walked down the hallway of the bunker, goosebumps cascading over your bare skin at the chill in the air. You looked down at your tight tank top and saw your hard nipples clearly poking through the thin fabric. Perfect.
You turned the corner into the kitchen to see Sam sitting at the table eating a bowl of cereal, tapping away on his tablet. You smirked and strolled through the room over to the coffee pot. You popped a hip out while pouring a cup of coffee and you knew his eyes were running over your body. You turned around and watched as his gaze shot from your ass to your eyes, down to your chest, then back to your eyes. A bright red hue crept across his cheeks and you smiled.
“Mornin’, Sam. Sleep well?” You casually asked, grabbing a bowl and spoon from the drawer and sitting down across from him.
He looked at you with wide eyes, a deer caught in your headlights. Your perky, erect, and braless headlights. You could see the veins bulging in his neck from the strain of him not wanting to look at your chest. You learned forward and crossed your arms in front of you, pushing your breasts together and up, giving you even more cleavage. He looked like he was sweating now and you looked up at him through your eyelashes.
“You okay Sam?” You bit your lip and reached over for the cereal, trying to hide your smile.
Sam cleared his throat and shook his head slightly, trying to turn his attention back to his tablet. “I… uhh… yeah I’m okay. I slept well, thanks. You?”
“Very well,” you smiled as you poured milk over your cereal.
Sam was looking his tablet but staring at you out of the corner of his eye. You intentionally dribbled some milk down your chin and giggled, swiping it with your finger and sliding the milk-covered digit into your mouth. You closed your eyes and licked the milk from your finger before pulling it out with a wet pop.
You opened an eye and smiled when you saw Sam was fully staring at you now, his lips parted and his eyes almost completely dark with lust. Your torture method was proving to be very successful. You ignored his staring and continued to eat your cereal. Your cell phone buzzed and you opened the text message once you saw it was from Dean.
I can see you from the library. Holy shit, has he given up yet? You’re such a cruel chick. Poor Sammy hasn’t got a chance.
You laughed and replied back.
He hasn’t given up yet, but I still have one more trick up my sleeve. Brace yourself.
You heard a faint chortle come from the library once he read your text and you put your phone back on the table. Sam had gone back to his tablet while you were occupied with your phone, but you knew exactly how to make him cave.
You folded your arms in front of you again and pushed your breasts up, leaning forward to give him a view of your cleavage. You were practically popping out of your tank top and you could see the cracks in his resolve beginning to appear. His eyes darted to your breasts, then up to your eyes.
“Y/N…”
“Sir, please,” you mewled with a pout. “Are you an Oreo? Because I want your cream between my cookies.”
Sam’s entire body went rigid. He didn’t move, just stared at you like a lion stalking a gazelle. It took a few moments for his brain to register what you said, but when it did, he was out of his seat and on you before you had time to react. He pull you to your feet and crashed his lips to yours. He was rushed, sloppy, and nibbled on your lower lip, making you weak in the knees and gasping for breath when he pulled back.
“I give, you win. You already make me want you so bad, but that? That was pure torture.” He pressed a quick kiss to your lips again.
“The feeling is mutual, Sam,” you laughed and he tilted his head in confusion.
“What?” He stepped back from you but kept his hands resting on your hips.
“I’ve had a crush on you since I met you, Sam. If Dean hadn’t gotten drunk and spilled the beans about your feelings for me a few weeks ago, I wouldn’t have done this… but honestly, I’m glad I did. Seemed like you just needed a little push to act on your feelings.”
He growled low in the back of his throat and pulled you against him, kissing you deep enough that his nose to be smashed against your cheek so hard you thought it might break. He swiped his tongue across your lips and you parted your lips and reciprocated, exploring his mouth with your tongue as well.
Before you knew what was happening, the world shifted around you and Sam had lifted you and thrown you over his shoulder like a fireman. You giggled and drummed your hands on his ass, impressed with how firm it felt through his pajama pants. You heard him shuffling through the cabinets, but from your viewpoint, you couldn’t see anything besides the bottom hem of Sam’s shirt and his legs.
You saw another set of feet walk into the kitchen and you lifted your head to see Dean’s amused face light up with a smile.
“Hi, Dean!” you cheerfully announced.
“I see Sammy caved?” Dean said with a chuckle, watching you squirm in Sam’s grasp.
“He did. We both shared our feelings and now he’s gonna go make an Oreo out of me,” you snickered and pinched Sam’s ass, making him jump a little and swat your ass in response.
“He’s what?” Dean questioned before shaking his head. “You know what? I don’t wanna know.” He turned around and walked out of the kitchen, shouting “Use protection!” over his shoulder.
Sam turned around so you were even with the counter. You looked up and smiled when you saw a brand new package of Oreos sitting there.
“Grab those, I have some ideas,” he murmured at you.
You complied and snatched the Oreos from the counter. Sam began walking down the hallway to his room, you assumed, and you lifted your head up. “Hey Sam?”
“Yeah?”
“Just so you know, I’m on the pill… so feel free to give me some cream filling.”
“Fuck,” he growled as you saw his legs start to move faster until he was practically jogging down the hallway with you bouncing on his shoulder and giggling as he went.
Who knew Oreos could be an aphrodisiac?
Tags:  @katymacsupernatural @queen-of-deans-booty @your-modern-shakespeare @wh1sp3r1ng-impala @wheresthekillswitch @holyfuckloueh @just-another-busy-fangirl @growningupgeek @ididntasktogetmadedidi @trashimaginezblog @jensen-gal @spnbaby-67 @feelmyroarrrr @donnaintx @potterhead1265 @mizzezm @atc74 @mereka18 @pilaxia @supernatural-jackles @squirrel-moose-winchester @impala-dreamer @bambi95-blog @wonderfulworldofwinchester @sofreddie @batmmgray @brooke-supernatural16
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superfitbabe · 8 years ago
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BOY OHHHHHHHHH BOY. What. A. Day. I can already say that I probably ate the same amount of fat this day that I usually consume within a week’s span at college. See, that’s the benefit of living in college–you’re forced to stick to the healthy basic staples, you walk everywhere, you live on a budget, and you pretty much are on top of your game because you’re restricted from all the crazy vegan junk food options! Well, let me iterate that every bite was absolutely worth it!
If you have never heard of this event, the Vegan Street Fair is basically a hugely food-filled and outdoor walk loaded with vendors of all kinds of vegan restaurant chains, vegan brands, influencers, companies, online foods, and food trucks! There are three each year–one in North Hollywood during the spring, one in New York during the summer, and a night fair in North Hollywood during the fall! This year, I attended the fair on March 25th, and I had the time of my life. I cannot wait to be sharing my fully loaded recap of this crazy day with all of you, so let’s get started!
First off, I had to stop by Vegetaryn’s booth to greet Taryn herself, Jasmine of sweetsimplevegan, and Amanda from applesandamandas! They’re all such sweethearts who have inspired me to hop on this vegan journey myself! (P.S. check out Vegetaryn’s site where I got my If Looks Could Kale shirt from a few posts ago!!)
Next up, Yvonne’s Vegan Kitchen! I encountered Yvonne’s blog The Eclectic Kitchen a long time ago in my Instagram journey, and her culinary skills are absolutely phenomenal. She has the most beautiful feed, cookbook, and slew of recipes that will make you HUNGRY and put any Food Network recipe to shame. I ended up buying a chocolate chai cookie that was completely gluten free and made from garbanzo bean flour!
Okay, I contemplated posting about this next dish because looks are deceiving. Now I thought that vegan chicken tikka masala sounded delicious, so I waited a good ten minutes in the line of the Pooja’s Cuisine of India booth to purchase a combo of vegan chicken tikka masala, saag curry, rice and garlic naan. Probably the WORST curry I’ve ever tasted. The saag was salty, nothing like authentic Indian saag, and the tikka masala sauce was watery, bland, and I got five teeeeeeeeny tiny chicken pieces. So yeah, 3 out of 10.
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Anyhow, by that time, I ran into a couple of my vegan Instagram friends, one of them being at the Yoga-Urt booth! While we waited for our soft serve, I hopped across to Cruciferous L.A.’s booth and got a General Tso’s Brussel sprouts sampler of battered Brussel sprouts with the most delicious sauce, chiles, and raw cabbage underneath! Definitely made up for the horror of the Indian food combination that I had earlier, and most certainly prompted me to find a General Tso’s bottle next time I go grocery shopping!
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While waiting in line at Yoga-Urt, my friend Cory and I also encountered of the VeganFatKid! If you don’t know who he is, he’s basically the king of vegan restaurant hopping! I swear, you’ll be inspired to visit all of the best vegan places in L.A. thanks to his feed! I was a little too shy to ask for a picture, but being the sweetheart he is, Cory asked him for me, so we all got to take a photo together! After sampling a couple flavors, we ordered our soft serve in mini cups! Cory got the salted caramel serve and I chose the golden milk rose flavor made with turmeric! Swear to the vegan ice cream gods, this was HEAVENLY. No, BOTH WERE!
I quickly stopped by AFC Soy Foods to taste some mini fried tofu poppers and chose to garnish chipotle barbecue sauce as well. So I absolutely LOVE tofu–heck it’s one of my top three favorite foods–but it’s easy to mess up. Luckily, I adored every single bite of these tofu poppers with the crunchiness on the outside, the softness of the tofu flesh, and the sweet n’ salty and spicy barbecue sauce created the perfect medley of texture and flavors! This was probably one of my favorite samplers yet!
Next was a pit stop of a bakery I’ve never heard of until I actually saw people with these cute little dessert kabobs of gorgeous mini cupcakes stacked on top of one another. I asked a few girls where I could find them, and they pointed to Baby Love Sweetery! I ended up picking a three-cupcake kabob with a unicorn dreams cupcake, a GF churros n’ creme cake, and a GF chocolate salted caramel cake! All three cakes were to die for each in their own way, so it was so hard to pick a favorite! The GF cupcakes were gummier in texture and the unicorn dreams cake was soft and bready like any other perfect cupcake. Delicious! I ended up reuniting with my Instagram friend Cindy who came to join us in the food-ventures! How incredible is that?!
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Three words to describe the next stop: Sweet. Fried. Deliciousness. If you live somewhere with a Donut Friend, then you know what I mean. Cindy got the Strawberry Lab donut filled with strawberries and whipped cream, Cory ordered the mini Compassion Fruit donut, and I picked the Cinnamineral donut! All of these donuts were incredible, but the Cinnamineral has such a quality taste that reminded me of my favorite breakfasts. Guess you could say that I was unfairly biased. Regardless, it was one of the best unhealthy donuts I’ve had in such a long time–sometimes the real deal just blows everything away!
As a detox from those dangerously delicious donuts, we stopped by Ab Sorbets because we were too intrigued by everyone else’s sorbets that we’re served in lemon and orange peels! Cory got the guava sorbet, Cindy picked the peach sorbet, and I decided on the strawberry flavor! Usually I’m more of a dessert-flavor person, but I was absolutely blown away by how creamy, soft, naturally sweet and delectable this was! By far this was one of my favorite treats of the entire trip!
The second to last stop was Treats by B, a vegan bakery that had a spinning wheel with different options to possibly get! I ended up getting the free mystery prize, which was a mini banana bread loaf with walnuts in the cutest bag! The loaf itself was perfectly mild, sweet, crunchy from the walnuts, soft, and aromatic from the bananas! I could resist sharing a couple of pieces with Cindy and Cory, and they seriously loved it as well! I’m certainly finding a way to recreate this recipe back at home!
Finally, I quickly peeked at the Orgain vendor to try out their chocolate nutritional protein shake because I was incredibly parched! Of course, it didn’t disappoint. The shake’s silky and rich texture resembled that of chocolate milk–it was divine! The extra protein was an added benefit as well!
While walking back to where my dad would pick me up, we spotted two somewhat familiar faces from YouTube: Anji and Ryan from HappyHealthyVegan! While I am not subscribed to them, I have seen them in others’ videos, and Cory and Cindy were both fans and friends with them.We ended up taking some cool photos and had an amazing encounter. The couple is so sweet!
To wrap things up, I honestly felt so liberated and open to everything. I said hi to everyone with a friendly face and ate whatever the heck I wanted. Years ago, whenever I’d walk into a convention, I wouldn’t pass on anything that seemed appealing, but I did have an estimate of calories looming in my head to make sure I didn’t “overdo” anything. However, with these kinds of events, it’s a bit of a burden to have to think about the numbers that go into your mouth.
As long as you’re listening to your body–which I absolutely did–then that’s all that matters. Sure, I had a shizzle ton of fat and sugar, but I also healed myself mentally because I said yes to almost everything that I’d avoid in the past. Come on. Nobody would pass on that cupcake kabob anyways.
Vegan Street Fair 2017 BOY OHHHHHHHHH BOY. What. A. Day. I can already say that I probably ate the same amount of fat this day that I usually consume within a week's span at college.
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housecow · 8 months ago
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when i was younger i was OBSESSED with these. like, eat the whole box in one sitting type obsessed. i’d eat the cookie part and saving the icing for last
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another time my friend gave me a pack of these… i ate all the cookies first and stacked the creme together (it was like 8” tall) and then ate that. i’ve been at this for a long time 💪
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