#I'm an asshole sorry guys
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Can you tell who my favorite character is right now...
#I LOVE HIM#RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#sorry guys I really love luciel too but zagan is like#sorry I#exactly my type of everything idfk#it's. the#his.#uhhhmmmmmmm#wowie...#I have been drawing him a LOT......#I have other drawings of him too but uh#I DIDNT WANT THERE TO BE TOO MANY HAHAHAH#I wanted just the highest caliber#the peak#the best of the best#only the top#the cream of the crop#AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU#fuck I wanna make his comic so bad so I can draw him 1 million times#I also love luciel but luciel is more contextual okay#in the context of the comic I actually like luciel more...?#cause theyre fucking NICE okay#zagan is an asshole hes like extremely a bad person#but for illustrations#and little animations....#fuuuuuuuck aha.........#anyways I'm not gonna tag this one much other than rambles cause it's just reposting my art#also it would be rlly funny if people were like WHAT IS HE FROM#like from my fucking brain I'm sorry#you cant read the comic yet IM SORRY IM SORRY
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I feel like I should say since there's been a recent uptick in a lot of communities I'm in/see stuff from a lot of white people pretending to be Asian, but you are not welcome here if you are in anyway stealing from Asian cultures for clout or the aesthetics of it
This includes if you're white and you give your self inserts Asian names, I truly do not care if your f/o is from an anime, you should not be using an Asian name under any circumstances. I hate that whenever I see someone using an Asian name online, I feel like I have to start searching their account to see if they're actually Asian or just a white person who likes the aesthetic of it bcs far too many white people will use Asian names here just bcs it sounds cool, with no regard for the actual cultural meaning behind it. Meanwhile actual Asian people will be mocked for their names, or treated like their names are too hard to learn to pronounce, or discriminated against based on their names
Asian cultures are not a fun little costume for people to dress up with. They aren't just a nice aesthetic, they aren't just a thing you can borrow from bcs you think it sounds cool
#my posts#selfship community#anti asian racism#like it's definitely a perpetual problem of white people not seeming to realize asian names are like#a thing that are tied to culture and identity#but it's gotten crazy lately with people pretending to be asian online for clout#just in the past like 3 weeks of things i've seen#we had the white woman pretending to be a japanese woman on comic twitter#the white woman who pretended to be korean to get a 'ownvoices' book published#(who btw. named herself kim chi. you cannot make this shit up)#and then the white guy pretending to be japanese to try to justify his hate of the new assassin's creed game using stuff around yasuke#like it's so draining. i hate how much this is a never ending problem#i hate how casually white people will use asian names#like worstie. i am a korean woman. but i am whitepassing and mixed so i never use korean names for my self inserts#bcs i have the privilege of looking white and people generally only knowing i'm asian if i say it#it feels inappropriate to me for me to name my self inserts a korean name#bcs that would then mean they experience the world in a different way than i do#even being whitepassing bcs of the way people treat korean (and other asian) names#if you are white you have no fucking right to asian names#idgaf if your f/o's an anime character. stay away from asian names bcs they are not yours to dress up in#vent a little bit sorry team#i've been dealing with white people doing this shit and being assholes to me about it for well over a year now. it's exhausting
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more headcanons about sebastian solace from the hit game pressure roblox
back on my bullshit and i promise i only talk about The Situation a little bit
☆ his third arm is more sensitive than the other two (i'm thinking that either the USHD doctors fucked something up during the operation OR it grew in wrong, nerve endings closer to the epidermis and whatnot, something like that)
☆ just hates being touched in general, he’d rather initiate that contact (need an update where he gently —> not very gently shakes expendables off (depending on whether and how much they’ve annoyed/flashbanged him) when they climb him) ☆☆ part of this is due to trauma, he cant trust anyone to touch him without hurting him ☆☆ the other part is that he’s got that fucking dawg in him (i’ll get to this in a second)
☆ unlike what his new voice lines are starting to suggest about his character (i’m not gonna talk about zerum again because i think everyone knows what's happening at this point and ive already thrown in my two cents) he does NOT hate the expendables. literally his first line upon meeting him in his shop has him calling himself your friend (as strained of a connection as it may be, he could very easily not offer items, not share documentation/info, and just take the expendables data and hoard anything he picks up to make it harder for them to get to the crystal) (like yes, it's a mutually beneficial relationship but if sebastian didn't care about or sympathize with the expendables to some extent, it wouldn't be). i really do think he just has a short fuse (i'm not going to bring up trauma again, however-) and says things he doesn't mean (e.g. “they deserved it. and frankly so do the rest of you.” (im coping with the mischaracterization of these new lines leave me alone)) as a means of protecting himself and pushing the expendables further away (both physically and emotionally)
☆ he’ll act like a brat once they’re done, but he lets younger expendables sleep in his shop (he cares about them but would never in a million years let them know that) ☆☆ if a younger one comes in with a bunch of adult expendables, he’ll treat them all the same but will secretly slip the younger one some extra batteries, gauze, something unnoticeable (he feels especially responsible for the younger male expendables cause they remind him of his little brother)
☆ sometimes he thinks he can hear his family's voices on the radio, just under all the static, calling out for him like a search party would. he used to cry over this but he almost got caught once by an expendable coming into the shop so he does his best to tune it out. it’s hard. guilt pulls at his stomach every time he hears a clip of his family, begging for him to come home, to respond, something, anything, and he ignores it.
☆ autism (cause i said so) - i'm including this one for the sole reason that he does the dinosaur thing with his third arm and generally keeps his hands clasped together in the secret dinosaur position (he just like me fr) ☆☆ hates bright lights (the only light he uses/allows in his shop is the one he emits) (its a very soft/warm hue as opposed to the bright fluorescents throughout the rest of the facility) (not to bring up the flash beacon, obviously nobody likes getting flashbanged and he's got angler eyes but sTILL)
☆ he used to hate eating fish (pre-op) and now he’s pissed cause it’s all he has available and the DNA changes made it so fish is the yummiest tastiest thing in the world (i like imagining him actively fighting the urge to eat whatever fish he’s cooked in one bite cause he refuses to acknowledge that he's changed on a level that isn't physical/appearance-based)
☆ calls grown adults “kiddo” (even the ones that are older than him) ☆☆ he gets a certain kind of joy from seeing the 40/50/60 year old expendables try to figure out just how old he is after they get called “kiddo”. it’s extra fun for him when they’ve clearly already heard the rumors and/or gotten a glimpse of his file
☆ the ring is just an accessory, a bracelet on the floor or in a locker he found and liked. assumed nobody was gonna claim it and kept it (shoutout to @/lotus.eaterr on tik tok for this one!!!!)
#light angst#sorry guys#sebastian solace#sebastian pressure#pressure roblox#i love calling it pressure roblox irl it's so funny for no reason#ok sorry i'm still hung up about the update and i NEED to yap#i genuinely don't care if he's married as a bit i think that's hilarious#but adding the ring and changing the dialogue and the animation he has with the ring just breaks immersion#ALSO#he's supposed to be sarcastic and sassy#not an asshole???#how do you mischaracterize your own character#that was mean i apologize#i'm just pissy cause i hate fandom discourse#especially when it's about something as dumb as this#but because it's gotten to the point that it's integrated into the game it feels unavoidable#also i totally forgot#they're a co-creator?????#why is she controlling everything about this character when there's like 5 other people who own him too#make it make sense#alright im done yapping about this forever goodbye
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more on michelin stars
I genuinely think it's going to be an important plot point in s3 re: why exactly Sydney wants a star and why *one* specifically. I went and researched and discovered something I used in my fic, which is that one Michelin star restaurants are excellent cuisine that normal people can still afford. And that connected, for me, to what Sydney had told Marcus about how going out was so special when she was a kid and she wanted to share that kind of amazing thing with people:
We didn't really like eat out a lot growing up, so when we did, it felt special even if it wasn't.... I wanna cook for people and make them happy and give them the best bacon on Earth (1x08)
I'm so hopeful/convinced that the research they have with, like, Matty (the chef who plays Fak) right there on set, means the writers know that about what one star places can be like. And that it's meant to be part of this - more humane vision of excellence for Sydney, where their spot is AMAZING, but it's not a cruel kitchen culture, it's not only for the rich.
For her, it’s *part* of her vision, where she says:
“I think this place could be so different from all the other places we've been at. But, in order for that to be true, we need to run things different.“ (1x03)
But Carmy sees a star and all it means (all he’s ever known it to mean) as a repudiation of that kind of humanity. You say the word "star" and immediately Carmy goes "fuck stars" (2x01) as pure self-defense - because stars are just pain and suffering to him. They're NYC chef and everything that mess became.
He's so traumatized by the whole thing he doesn't think to ask the right questions: why do you want one? What is your vision for it? Why do you specifically want *one* instead of two or three? What timeline do you have in mind for getting there and how can we strategize on this together?
Instead, because he wants so desperately to please her, despite that instinctive, self-defensive "fuck stars" he relents and asks - okay, are you sure? Are you positive this is what you want? Really?? It's terrible. It's just dread and fear and throwing up every day before work. You really want me to give you this?
(I’ll give you anything you want)
He never asks the right questions. Just assuming the level of pain which is his only experience of this is what the thing IS--playing into that theme about how people only know what they're taught, only know what they are given, and if we are given pain and patterns of it it is so hard to even imagine things can be different and, when you can imagine it, still so hard to actually get there.
(It’s not a coincidence that the ASL sign is one of the few positive, healthy examples of kitchen culture Carmy witnessed - we only know what we’re taught, and it can be hard work to even figure out what “not shitty” IS let alone doing it)
So he's assuming all of that and it's like - if she's his CDC, does she want him to push her as hard as he was pushed? Push himself that hard again? He doesn't want to do either of those things. But that's all he knows. And she keeps saying this is what she wants. And he wants to give her everything she wants.
(In the same conversation she kept saying yes, this is what I want, she expressed admiration for the designer chef outfit he later buys her as a gift - he wants to give her everything she wants, even when it seems like a terrible idea he’s torn about)
I think this misunderstanding is intentional and it’s going to come out in S3. A one star restaurant fits so perfectly with what we know of Sydney’s goals and love for her work! And Carmy not able to even conceive of something better because of the patterns he’s stuck in and finding his way to her vision makes sense for him.
I think Carmy figuring out how this work can be joyful and humane is going to be a huge part of S3. Sydney not becoming lost in the high stress environment, not following in younger!Carmy's footsteps living a life of pure drive and dread, and Carmy finding that for the first time.
I do think that, given where they both end in 2x10, there’s going to be a period of conflict and a real bunch of issues for both of them - but with themes and ideas like this seeded into the story there’s so many ways to make s3 start out in a bad way and then really end in joy in a beautiful way?
#the bear#sydney adamu#carmen berzatto#sydcarmy#carmen x sydney#the bear meta#my meta#annnnd i'm back to my point that#this show would be utterly miserable and not enjoyable for me personally to watch#without sydney#because like.... she keeps having vision in ways#that this partnership needs#on his own he can't see the way to climb out of the dark hole he's lived his whole life in#and (Sorry i am quoting this verse in a strictly literary sense not preaching LOL) 'where there is no vision the people perish'#the show without sydney (as some reddit assholes seem to want...) is a short season about one guy's awful breakdown that time he tried to#bury his grief in fixing up the family restaurant#and had a breakdown after max 6 months#and then nat sold the place for them both#for both their wellbeing#to like - keep ONE brother alive#looking at it in fairy tale terms#(not my expertise but lemme try for a sec)#the restaurant is also the family#and they're under a kind of curse?#curse of the past#the awful patterns#carmy is under a curse#and sydney is the person#who is able to walk in#and break that
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Me if I see someone portraying Mike as "dumb" once again today:
No but in all seriousness, I really can't with that anymore. Yes I know it's canon that he has bad to awful grades (in season 4 at least), but y'all. He had more important things to deal with.
Like, maybe, his literal best friend since he's 5 years old and his first girlfriend moving out of town. (I'm not even going to talk about everything he has going on about his sexuality and figuring out who he is, and also, by the way , if you forgot about it, his fucking depression--)
Do you guys not remember ST1? Or ST2?? Did y'all forget how much of a science and english nerd he his, how fucking incredibly smart all of the party is??? That's literally one of the main reasons why they were bullied in the first place???? Hello??
Mike's smart as fuck. Stop treating him like a literal idiot who can't even count to ten just because he's oblivious to Will's feelings for him (which, oh how surprising, is probably because he has no idea that Will is gay and most likely doesn't believe himself worthy of his love) and because of that stupid C in Spanish. C isn't even such a bad grad, especially for a teenager who's dealing with fucking supernatural shit, and confusing feeling, AND depression. Because YES, Mike is depressed, and NO, I will not argue with anyone about it because if you can't see it then we're clearly not watching the same show.
Anyway.
All of this to say, please, for the love of the universe, stop making Mike an idiot. I might actually cry if I see more of this bullshit.
Thank you for reading my rant, hope you're having a fucking nice time.
#(can you tell I just read something that made me fucking mad)#(and instead of being an asshole to the author i decided to be the bigger person and make my own post about it??)#(can you feel the anger that's vibrating in my whole damn body???)#( anyway )#(sorry about that)#mike wheeler analysis#mike wheeler is a smart guy#really really smart actually#mike wheeler is my son and i love him very much#mike wheeler characterisations#mike wheeler#stranger things#stranger things 4#(putting this 'cause they were literally hitting at his depression as a parallel to Max's)#(with the bad grades thing)#mike wheeler is depressed#mike wheeler deserves a hug#and I'm mad again#ughhhh#alright i'll shut up now
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I'm very tired of hearing the "why doesn't Kingdom Hearts cater to ME, a person who doesn't want to have to care about it. Kingdom Hearts should stop rewarding the people who are deeply emotionally invested in it and should instead care only about Me, Casual Fan who only wants to give a shit every 5-10 years or so, what about MY feelings" argument. Jesus fucking Christ. It's been 22 years. Suck it up and go play a Halo then.
#Christ Almighty#i almost had a physical fight with someone at a convention over this topic TEN ENTIRE YEARS AGO#I could not go ten feet in my Saix cosplay at a convention from like 2009-2019 without encountering like#MULTIPLE smug grinning chucklefucks making comments about the 'side games' all goddamn day everywhere i went#literally came this close to throwing down with the final one at like 10 pm on my way back to my hotel room#(I'm exaggerating about the physical fight thing but my friends did wrestle me off the elevator because i was about to tear that guy-#-absolutely a new asshole about 'haha every game since kh2 was stupid and bad I'm so smart for thinking so'#*)#they're always the SMUGGEST about how smart they are for being 'above' caring about the handheld games#sorry they feature women actually doing things and make you feel stupid but skill issue#God forbid you should have to care about Xion and Aqua and Namine and also use your brain
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vent ⬇️
#oc#I was out drinking last night for my fiancee's birthday and this guy was talking to us and I stopped and took a picture with him#because he said he was gonna give us free tacos from his taco truck#so I'm like posing with him outside the truck and he puts his arm around me and grabs my ass#and he reached up my shorts and put his finger in my fucking asshole#and I let him touch me for like 30 seconds while my fiancee was standing right there because I was drunk and I just fucking froze#literally didn't stop him until he was inside me#and THEN I freaked out and started crying and ruined the night#I just feel like a total piece of shit#I'm such a worthless fucking idiot#I'm sorry I don't know why im posting this here I just feel like I have more of a community here so. if anyone's experienced#something similar and/or you have any words of support I'd really appreciate hearing from you#I'm not in a good place I think I'm overreacting because of csa trauma#idk
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you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.
you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.
so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.
you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.
you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.
you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.
you know you broke the rule by interacting.
but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.
#before i maybe get yelled at:#1) no i do not think ppl are evil for having men dnis no i do not think these are all equal transgressions even#though there is an overlap that should be examined that i think is based in a degree of lesbian separatism + exclusionism#2) yes there are lesbian blogs and people that are cool about genderfucky people. i'm not talking about them#3) this is a stylized vent post about trying to find lesbian content on tumblr that isn't like this. all these dnis/rules are ones i have#encountered. no i do not literally tell these people to change their dnis to suit me. the conversations are symbolic and ideological in#nature. if i find a blog with men dni i generally go somewhere else. it's about emotions. it's about my feelings on that it's not literally#about dming someone demanding they change things. it's not about demanding that You change things or else you're a bad person.#4) it is about the conflicts and hypocrisy and inconsistency of strict and exclusive sexuality labels persisting in gender-diverse spaces#and how it affects me as a lesbian who is a man who is a woman who is fucking whatever else. and yes it is about transphobia too.#5) it's about how lesbians feel the need to exclude men and how i think efforts to do so fail and hurt ppl and are often misguided#tht i think also comes up in like. bi lesbian/mspec lesbian/gaybian discourse. i'm not any of those myself but it seems like there's overla#6) if this post seems whiny and sad and insecure that's because it probably is. i have a right to be all of those things.#7) no i do not think all lesbians are man-hating assholes. i am a lesbian. i love lesbians. i love dykes and most of them are fantastic ppl#i just think the general bullshit of the world leads to this defensive thing that ends up hurting others in our community y'know?#8) i get that my perspective/experience is a bit unusual and many lovely ppl haven't considered it. that's part of why i'm sharing this#nyarla dni#<- sorry man it's too vulnerable. gonna keep this one to the internet-only folks#adding this wayy later but a crucial part of the experience i Almost talked about it this but never explicitly did was that like#the measures ppl take to 'defend against men' are often deeply transmisogynistic as well. obviously#and when i see that it hurts me too. not that it hits me the same way when strangers assume im a trans woman and hate me for it#but it doesn't feel good to see transphobia at all. i focused on how that relates to other kinds of transphobia#namely transandrophobia here but like. it's all connected. lesbain separatism + exclusionism relies on both and they aren't always#distinct experiences. ime. anyway trans ppl i love all of you forever#i just thought me writing “*turns to the camera* and trans women exp this too.' wouldve been too much even for this post#i figured the audience would like. know that. and so far it hasn't been an issue. i have not been yelled at thanks guys 🫶
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Do you know another language besides English and Morse code? What about sign language? Because you know... haven't you ever been with a mute or deaf contestant?
"Oh, I know how to speak Spanish and Filipino"
No, not really, he once said "soy un bigote y un perro" and thought he called himself handsome and dashing. He's trying his best?
"As for a mute or deaf contestant, my friend Jexie played the game before! I fixed her voice to help her speak. But ever since I met her I started learning sign language just in case. I'm not good at it yet."
#He's an asshole guys I'm sorry BAHAHAHA#gameshow host wally#game show host wally#welcome home#wally darling#welcome home au#welcome home wally#wally welcome home#welcome home fandom#wally darling welcome home#welcome home wally darling
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Do you have any Zhongli/Zhongchi fic recs? I haven’t found any that are nearly as good as yours 😔😔
funnily enough someone already asked this, but it was quite a while ago and tumblr is a mess to search old shit thru so here, this is the post this was asked during the ao3 crisis of- .......last year? i can't remember. either way, the post starts w me saying i don't have all the names and links but dw, after ao3 came back up i edited the post so you should see all authors and links in the recs.
i have to admit that for reasons unrelated to the fandom i haven't been reading many zhongchi fics as of late? so like- bear in mind i don't have an updated mental picture of any of the recs after the post was made. so if one went off the rails or if one of the WIPs finished, i'm not aware;; i also mention in the post that i'd add more recs if i had access to ao3 (which i didn't at the time bc it was down), and while that is true, it's been so long since i read any of them that i wouldn't be able to confidently reccomend them outside of 'i somewhat remember the plot and i remember liking it'. also i don't remember half of their names. so uh- yeah that's the list i think
#also there are plenty of fics that i'd have loved to recomend but that ended up either going off the rails towards the end or that just-#left me disappointed#complete tanget but what is it with people making holy angst and then completely missing the point of said angst#as in#the resolution they give to the angst is sometimes more infuriating than anything#like by that point i'm rooting to have no resolution LMAO#which is why angst resolution is always like my n°1 concern in my fics#last thing i want is for the angst to be super good and then for the resolution to leave y'all like-#that's it?#not in the sense of payoff for the angst#but in the way the issues brought up by the angst get handled#i don't want to point fingers obviously i'm not that much of an asshole#but i vividly remember a fic that set up childe being bullied horribly by a bunch of adults for something that was outside of his control#and that he couldn't have possibly known#and so he just flees bc i mean poor guy i'd flee as well. plus they backed him into a corner with no other way out#like- think public proposal except childe didn't even know he was dating zhongli. and when he was confused about it#all the onlookers started berating him for being stupid#which like- it's one thing being dense. and it's another thing being unable to communicate w eachother (this was zl's fault)#anyway. so he flees. the resolution to the angst is him getting dragged (against his will) back to liyue and zhongli just saying#sorry i forgot to say i loved you please never leave idk what i'd do without you#and like off-camera he did almost kill the 'onlookers' that bullied childe#but like#that's it#there's no further apologies from everyone; childe retains no issues from a highly traumatic event (it was portrayed that way);#everything is solved by zl saying actually i love you if you leave i'm gonna be depressed forever#like????????????????????????#obviously i'm being very vague about it#that's not exactly how it goes in the fic#don't want to throw hate at it the rest of it was really good#it just left me with a growing dread of 'this isn't going to be handled well by the author isn't it' as it went on
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You got isekai'd into SYSTEMA. What now.
Be amazed.
Remember I spawned into the "everything sucks" world.
Break down and cry.
Consider death as an escape.
Summon the global chaos by leaking insider secrets that could make about 200 new conspiracy theories.
Hope that Sera's conspirator ass tries to find me before one of the hits get me first.
Ending 1: I get sniped.
Ending 2: I get jumped.
Ending 3: I get kidnapped.
Ending 4:
Ending 200: It worked! Sera insults me. I cry from both the height she's holding me at and the insult respectively. She tells me to quit sobbing so I weep in incognito mode.
Make it into the Manumission. Wipe my face. Contemplate death again.
Get interrogated.
Get welcomed in! (I am still under close observation)
Quietly fangirl about my characters in 4k then feel incredibly weird about how much I know.
Get interrogated again.
I know that Nathaniel knows that I know but he doesn't know how much I know until I make it known that I know that he knows.
Consider death as- oh. He heard that too.
Literally everyone freaks me out for different reasons. I hang out with Sonia. She calls me fat. I still like you Sonia.
Live in the manumission under witness/informant protection and try not to die.
#devarambles#i can't do shit in this world let's be honest#i'd just be a regular person#who can magically draw everyone with perfect detail (to them)#I'd at least know what's going on with everything. That foresight would save them from like... 60% of what goes down#I'd never be able to get along with Vincent. I do not have the rubber skin nor the emotional security + he would scare me to high heaven#Fucker looks like a spooked horse and he's tall NUH UH i'm not havin it. I'd maybe help him behind the scenes though. Stroke his ego a lil.#I could not be around Nate I'm sorry I'd avoid him. The fear of being known is real.#People can deal with him because nobody knows that he's intimately familiar with the core of their personalities and thats why he won't say#but I just know that this asshole can hear me thinking about how orange juice should be in cereal. I KNOW what he would think. SO NO. NO.#Uh.. What else... Sera? I don't think I have what it takes to bore through that shell of hers. Her personality is incredibly strong.#And only people like Nathaniel Sonia and Eric can get through because they're both perservering and self-assured. I don't fw distant ppl#I wouldn't chase her and she wouldn't seek me. No friendship just acquaintances type beat#Amon is cool but I don't know how I'd feel around him knowing his story. It's like hanging out with Rodtang. But he's hot. ough#Eric is cool but I know that this guy is super smart and he's a bit too silly. I'd end up telling him one too many secrets without realizin#Strohl is a genius and he'd find me really dumb and unprofessional which honestly I get. He's also just not my type of company#Which brings me back to Sonia. We'd get along. I'd be able to brush off her comments and she'd vibe with me. She'd get me good clothes too.#So that's that that's everything yay gwenchana gwenchana#ark_systema
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If I had a nickel for every one of my blorbos who has family-induced PTSD, I'd have three nickels, which isn't much, but it's weird that it happened three times.
#tbb crosshair#zuko atla#bruno madrigal#fuck you hunter#and ozai#you too madrigal matriarch you're all toxic#I'M MAD AT HUNTER THE MOST I'VE ONLY SEEN HALF OF S3 BUT HE'S AN ASSHOLE WHO CARES MORE ABOUT OMEGA THAN THE PEOPLE HE GREW UP WITH AND ALS#TAKES HIS SQUAD FOR GRANTED LIKE C'MON GIVE WRECKER A BREAK. HE'S NOT JUST “THE BIG GUY”. BOI IS GIVING OFF LUISA VIBES. TOO MUCH PRESSURE.#sorry for this rant but HUNTER IS TOXIC DUDE DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HOW HE TREATS CROSSHAIR
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i apologize for the person i'll become playing baldur's gate 3. but also while i fall into the depths of this stuPID FANDOM that my mutuals dragged me into, please like this if you'd like a starter & would like to plot out things. <3 i'm going to do writing tomorrow for sure.
#mutuals you all know who you are :')#i....... may already have a bias for astarion#i want to boink him already#not sure if the octupus guy is for me but i won't say no outright#without giving him a chance *eyes you you know who you are*#i'm sorry i can only write starters with some plotting#but i hope everyone has a good evening#uwu#* ⟢ 𝐎𝐎𝐂 ━ ( clench your asshole super tight & scream it from your heart )
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My changeling gal got her divergent persona out last dnd session, so here is the guy - her bambi eyed, asshole ex boyfriend who she sometimes personifies - Lavender Duskflower (he/him) 🌸
Art is by my ever beloved @just-eyris-things
#dnd#nero plays dnd#lavender duskflower#valeria hamdell#dnd oc#dnd elf#dnd art#he literally entered the scene last session and I'm already obsessed with him#asshole elf. what a good combo#sorry valerian you got repurposed into an asshat elf guy
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if i were in charge of memes, i'd put a moratorium on two nickels until people learn how to tell when it's actually weird for something to happen twice and when it's pretty normal and unsurprising.
#if i had a nickel for every time [something logical and expected happened] i'd have two nickels#<-stop doing this. i'm bored#congrats you identified a normal trope but you've only seen it twice. you gotta get out there more#memes#my posts#sorry i'm hiding in my room because if i have to spend one more minute with my mom's boyfriend i am going to start biting#i have to refresh my ability to not be a total asshole by sitting here alone and. going through my drafts i guess lol#this post is kind of assholey which is probably why i didn't post it when i wrote it but my baseline for asshole behavior is#much higher at the moment. this guy has got me acting. um. rude?
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LU fans stop horribly mischaracterizing BOTW Zelda challenge: literally fucking impossible
#the way i've seen sooo much content of botw zelda or “flora” being like....an asshole or some girl throwing tantrums#i'm scared to hear what you guys think of oot zelda kasjdbakd#then there was that person who like...said botw zelda is arrogant and doesn't give a shit for her people?#hello?#and then theres the people who are like “lol wild is free from her he's glad he doesn't have to watch over her”#HELLO?#i'm sorry i start swinging whenever i see people misinterpret my girl#free my girl from misogyny PLEASE#i need LU fans to learn how to like....be normal about female characters
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