#I'm always hesitant to make reviews about things because I always end up giving my personal preference instead of a more objective critisism

[arttsuka]

I watched Inside out 2. Here are some thoughts (maybe a spoiler free review but not really)

So much secondhand embarrassment it's insane. I almost couldn't watch certain parts of the movie :')

Riley's thoughts and emotions (not the characters) hit pretty close home, especially in the end.

The plot was ok, just like in the first movie in a way, but bigger.

The movie had the same problem a lot (if not all) sequels do; it was a bit too much. I mean, it was intense. And that's not bad but I don't think it's a movie with very high rewatchability (spiderman across the spider verse is the same to me).

Riley should go to therapy actually.

It was actually a pretty solid movie, I don't regret going to the cinema (except there were so many teens and wouldn't respect that when you go to the cinema you have to sit there quietly. Ruined the vibe of the sad part of the movie because they were laughing?) I would recommend it 👍 if you liked the first movie do give it a try.

[miimo96]

Thoughts on My Adventures with Superman S2 episode 9

So you're probably wondering what heck took so long for me to make this, and well ya see thats because I actually had to wait for this episode to come out on the website where I watch all my TV shows and anime on, and since That was taking so long to be released, I wasn't able to watch this and thus give my review on it, But now that it has officially come out I can finally Get my thoughts out there and Share it with you all, anyway that's mainly because why I've been gone for so long, that because depression kicks in at the most random times in my life and so I wasn't feeling motivated, but aside from that I'm finally ready to get this done and thus give you my review, anyway yeah Sorry for the wait but let's get into it^^;

______________________________________

Starting off I actually wanna talk about a few things regarding this opening, mainly about Clark's kindness; I love the fact that even tho this is a world where didn't never up and thus he never became Superman, he still has that kindness within him, and from the way he talks about wanting to help the creature and show him that it's not Alone, just shows that No matter what reality it is, he will always be compassionate and thus want to help people, hence what makes him Superman in the 1st place; also I didn't expect that in this episode we were actually going to be seeing an Evil version of his parents, because it's always usually just him getting the world he always wanted, I actually like that they took a different approach this time and thus gave us a reality, where he still has his parents, and where he basically got to grow up on krypton as a completely different person, also it's really interesting to see that in this version, the Black Mercy is more or less giving him a dream world where he basically has no control over, and Is kinda just gaslighting him like Brainiac would, I think that's because in this version, the black Mercy isn't a plant like most irritations, but is rather just a piece of technology, and since Brainiac was the computer system for krypton, he is able to access all the technology created from krypton, hence why Clark's mother Laura was talking to him that voice for a second,

Also this Shot right here is really Menacing AF, like Jor El looks seriously scary, oh and it looks like lois lost her memory so I'm wondering how that's going to play out

I fnd it very weird that Kara thinks Brainiac is Unstoppable Just because he's in Clark's body, like may I remind you of the absolute beatdown you gave your cousin a few episodes ago, like I'm really starting to believe that whole thing that people say of people who join the quote unquote "good side" end up effing sucking afterwards, like what is with that stuff, also before you say she was only able to beat him bc she was being controlled by Brainiac and therefore wasn't in control of her actions/ Strength, yeah sry but No, she wasn't being controlled by him at that time and was completely aware of what she was doing, the only time he was controlling her, was when she was hesitating to use her Heat vision to kill people, aside from that she was fully aware and wasn't Holding Back on him AT ALL; Also Mandy is such a bitch, that is all

Omg lois lost her memories I wonder this gonna play out, will she fall in love with Clark again, will clark remember who he is, will they even get along with each other, the possibilites are endle- Oh, well Never effing mind I guess, huh that was fast 😅 Also I really love the fact that Clark instead of becoming a warrior in this reality, became more of a scientist, it's funny because in the original animated series he was kinda like that as well, heck even in the comics I think he was like that, it just shows that Clark no matter what, really was never a fighter to begin with and only really ever does it in the name of Defense, with his real goal being to want to just help people through whatever means necessary, mainly through the power of science, like how in that 1 comic when he found the cure to cancer or something, Also can someone really explain to me how lois was able to prevent herself from being deleted, like I don't think it was ever explained and I'm really starting to believe it was just because of PLOT

Bruh Jimmy looks So heated at the fact that Steve of all people was the reason he and Kara were able to escape, like are you kidding me, THIS GUY!? 🤣🤣 Also shout out to my boy Steve for coming in clutch for our boy Jimmy, like he really is the Homie and I gotta say, the best get away driver like how do you sneak from Amanda waller of all people Undetected, dude's got skills

Hey Lois Idk about you but In my opinion This was the Worst explanation I ever heard, like I understand that time is resetting and so you've probably explained this to him like a hundred of times but Wow, you Really couldn't go any other way about it, like ya do realize this makes you look like a Crazy person right?; Also I legit could Never understnd Why she straight up tell couldn't tell Clark she loves him, like Omg wasn't you 2 already in a relationship at the beginning of this season, why is it So hard for you all of asudden o say I love you, when you LITERALLY established relationship early on, like WTF I'm sick of this trope already

Ok 2 things: 1 Jor El is scary in this sequence, like the way he screamed "Find her" really sent chills down my spine, and 2 why does this shot with him peeking out of the Bushes feel incredibly meme worthy?

Tbh I actually don't have much to say regarding Kara and Jimmy this time, aside from Jimmy being the GOAT due to how beautiful pep talk was, and how much I want them to end up together now, like I've said it before but I absolutely love their relationship in this series, and I really hope they get together by the end of it or at least if she ends up leaving earth like people theorize, in order to atone for her sins across the galaxy, at least get to confess his feelings for her ^w^

"Because the real lois wouldn't come for me" Ngl he deserved this exact response from her, bc wtf do you mean bro, i mean underrated your reasoning but just because you 2 had a fight doesn't mean she Stopped loving you, because you KNOW she wouldn't be here rn if she didn't; Also I find it very funny that her revealing What she did and how dangerous it was, is what brings Clark back, like it just shows how much he cares about her and how overprotective he is for her safety, Also I think i understand why she was able to do all this stuff in the 1st place

THROUGH THE POWER OF LOVE!! 💖💖😭😭😭

Tbh This is probably 1 of the best versions of Task force X I've seen so far, like this Roster goes Hard and so does this entire Shot like Damn, also whoever's Idea it was to Not include Parasite in this Scene Needs to be fired, like I understand why Livewire isn't here But PARASITE!? I mean the guy is seriously OP when given enough energy, as proven by his Kaiju form last season, and I could've sworn Amanda does has control over him now thanks to Lex, so WHY THE F$%k HE ISN'T HERE!? I bet he would've came in Real handy tho 😂

Ok 2 thing's again: 1 YEAH LET'S GO KARA! Eff you Brainiac you Piece of S#%t i hope you effing Die, and 2, Eyy i looks like I was on to something about Them being infused with Kryptonite; Also i see were Still stuck with these robot designs I guess, *sigh* look I've said it before and I'll say it again, These designs absolutely Suck, like No offense to the Animators But you're Really telling me we couldn't have gotten Anything better, I understand animation is Hard So you Need simple designs but c'mon, you couldn't at least go with the skeletal design he has in some iterations or even make Them look more like a Megazord than whatever the Hell this is? man I really hope this gets fixed in season 3 or something because I Just can't with this anymore; Also is it me or does this whole setup kinda feel sorta familiar, because I feel like I've seen this before, hmmmmm 🤔 eh whatever

God I love this Scene, from the scenery,to the lighting, to even their effing confession everything is Just AAAAAHHH So effing GOOD, Damn it Love this Series!! Especially the music in this scene like Omg it's such bop to listen to, and the fact that it's even the extended version of the God Damn intro is freakin Amazing ^^ Like this belongs in Top 5 motivational scene alongside You say run from the ending of the 1st MHA movie, like it's just That Good

OOOHH I'M LOVING THIS NEW SUIT Omg like this has everything I've ever wanted in a Superman suit, it has the perfect amount of gold to contrast the Red and blue, it reminds of Man of Steel and New 52 with Lack of shorts even tho I personally prefer the shorts, and it just Screams Superman, the only thing I would change about this would be those big ass Shoulder pads and i think maybe those finger straps, but aside from that, PERFECTION 😘

Small little animation error regarding Kara's eyebrows But not even that can Ruin this moment ^^

Finally It looks like people may be on to something about Amanda Waller possibly Framing Lex, setting him up to be the fall guy and making him look like he was The 1 responsible for everything, possibly losing his fame and setting him up as the Villain Next season, after all he is the 1 who built the Metalos So if anything went wrong, it is technically his fault, anyway however this plays out, I'm sure it will all end horribly for Lex in the end, overall amazing episode can't wait for the next one, hopefully it doesn't take too long to be released like this one, fingers crossed ^^

[penumbralwoods]

😇 5 paragraoh essay please ?

ok actually? it's been way too long since we talked about the narrator.

the main appeal of this ass (to me) is just how inconsistent they are. it's a bit but it's also a character trait; they'll say literally anything to get what they want without remorse. it's actually very important to me in portraying the narrator that i don't ever write genuine remorse. they'll SAY they're sorry, they'll REGRET things maybe, but they're never going to actually give a shit that something they did hurt stanley. it's a fun thing i pulled from one of if not my favorite fanfics ever- stanley has a sense of "going too far" and sets certain things off limits to protect the narrator, but it is by NO means mutual. because they are an ass.

heading back to canon for a second, it's incredibly interesting that they get annoyed if you go through the correct path too many times. they don't even ACTUALLY want that to be the choice every single time, but like everything else they're gonna lie about it. i think there's a lot you can do with an entity that thinks it's all-powerful and in control of everything, but not only is it wrong, it doesn't even actually want that. always a fan of what the character THINKS they want vs. what they actually want.

okay in my defense i went an entire two paragraphs before talking about the skip button WE HAVE TO DISCUSS THE SKIP BUTTON. first of all i think the entire section with the reviews is actually a pretty decent representation of rejection sensitive dysphoria, something that absolutely makes sense for the narrator to experience. and okay. the skip button itself. for those unaware the skip button has been the center of my interest in the stanley parable since i first got into it 2 years ago. alexis royce is largely to be blamed for this, but it's also just one of my favorite sequences, in any game, ever. it's one of those things that the more you think about it, the more horrifying it is. the narrator really did just sit and wait for stanley to come back. for an entire year. and that's the last time we know exactly how long a skip was. and their last (known) appearance is 5 presses later. it adds an entire other layer to the obvious projections on stanley- "he never functioned well by himself, and constantly needed support and guidance from others." <- guy about to do nothing but sit and wait for their boyfriend for millions of years

in an entirely different vein the countdown ending. oghhh the countdown ending. i'm always hesitant to say it's one of my favorites because i know exactly why it's YOU PEOPLE'S favorite. slash silly but i am a little sad that the rampant sex jokes have just. erased any actual analysis of it when it shows SO MUCH about the narrator. this is the main thing- at any given point, they have the potential to do something like this. at any given point, they are willing and able to torment, kill, manipulate, whatever you can think of. because it'll all reset anyway. it doesn't matter, and they know it doesn't matter, the end is never the end is never the end. and this is why i refuse to write them as remorseful. the countdown monologue makes it incredibly clear how detached and apathetic they can be, and i fully believe that even after an event like that in a clearer mindset they would still believe they were in the right. stanley pushes the wrong button, the narrator psychologically torments him for 3 minutes and then blows him up.

so tl;dr. the narrator is a character very very near and dear to my heart and despite the liberties i've taken (by the way, they/them isn't canonical, that's just me reasoning that it makes wayyyy more sense for it to be gender neutral/inhuman aligned) there is already SO much there in the game. they are the worst person on earth. they are painfully sympathetic. they are codependent and unable to function without stanley. they wrote him a love song. they blew him up. they waited for him for millions of years. they yell and insult him every time he makes the wrong choice. they get frustrated when he makes the right choice too often. absolute bastard of a character, and even 2 years later by far the easiest for me to write for. insert shameless plug for my ao3 i wrote 11 chapters of putting them in Situations

wow we actually made this thing 5 paragraphs go us. read my words boy

[vixenanswers]

How to get past depression and start getting my grades up and be proud of my work when I'm productive

Hey there rein-raus!

So as already established I’m not a mental health professional. There also is a huge difference between a depressive episode (which I as a lot of people have gone through) and chronic depression, because you can’t really “get past” chronic depression.

-> In that case I can however share a overview of recourses, information about financing therapy & resources for queer and black people specifically and international recourses

And I can also give you tips for getting through a depressive episode, getting your grades up and being proud of your work:

Getting through a depressive episode

What is a depressive episode?

try to keep doing activities you used to enjoy

stay connected to friends and family

exercise regularly, even if it’s just a short walk

do something relaxing like Yoga or Meditation

stick to regular eating and sleeping habits as much as possible

avoid or cut down on alcohol and don’t use illicit drugs, which can make depression worse

talk to someone you trust about your feelings

seek help from a healthcare provider

Getting your grades up

The most important thing is to participate in the lesson. It isn’t enough to just be present, you need to actually show your teacher that you’re paying attention. I know it can be hard to say something in class when you’re shy, but it is really important for you’re grade. Keep a list where you write down every time you raise your hand, so that you remember to do it a certain amount of times per lesson. If you really struggle; start of with trying to say something once per lesson to overcome that hesitation

Plan your revision. When exams are coming up, plan out your study time; plan in time to study every day. Make a list of specific task that you can tick off so that you always know what you have to do. But stay realistic e.g. if you come home from school at 4 p.m. you probably don’t have the energy to start working right away

Set Short-Term goals. I already talked about writing down specific tasks and you’re gonna want to break these tasks down into smaller tasks. Not only does this make it much easier to actually do these tasks, it is also helpful to really focus on individual topics

Review your past lessons. This can be helpful to make sure you really understood the lesson and to remember the topics. But some teachers also tend to ask at the beginning of a lesson what happened in the last lesson, so by being able to answer that you already raised your hand once that lesson

Find your study space. Different people can work more or left effectively in different spaces. Some people like to work in their room, others can’t concentrate there - some like to study in the library, because there are other people working, others prefer the buzz of a cafe. Find a space where you can be comfortable and productive

Look after yourself. You need to make sure that you’re okay, before you worry about school. Take time for yourself and don’t push yourself to the point of burnout - because that’s actually less productive.

Being proud of your work

Write down your tasks so that when you finish them you can tick them off and have a visual reminder that you did well

Reward yourself; eat a pice of candy you like, take a nice bath, watch an episode of your favorite show etc.

Say positive affirmations to yourself

Think about why you have trouble being proud of your work in the first place; try to fix the root cause

If you have trouble being proud, because you feel you didn’t do enough, try to change your perspective on things; You maybe only studied for 10pm, but you did study - you maybe only started studying late into the evening, but you did end up studying - maybe you didn’t study at all that day, but you rested and can now do it tomorrow

=> I really hope that was helpful and you’re doing better. I know that you’re trying and that’s the most important thing. You can do this, I believe in you♥️

Thanks for the question!

[epicrox]

Till The End Of The Moon Thoughts - Episode 2

WARNING: SPOILERS BELOW

PARTS: 1.1 | 1.2 | 2 |

This is mostly for me to look back on and see the moments that I caught my eye. Nothing analytical. I offer nothing to the table

I'm also a visual person so there's a lot of screenshots x

This is called my thoughts because I refuse to call what I'm writing down as a review. Reviews inform people and this post does nothing for people.

I’ve seen posts on Tumblr calling Tantai Jin a Disney princess cuz he’s being mistreated and talks to animals 🤨

The scenery is so pretty.

3. There seem to be Chinese subtitles on the right side of the screen indicating that background music is playing but I think they cut it out because I’m not hearing anything. Maybe it’s because I’m watching it on YouTube. I don’t know about other platforms.

4. Yeah, they cut the music now and it just sounds awkward and empty.

5. Omg she’s just leaving him there! Aren’t you supposed to keep him alive?

6. He legit looks like an old man because of the snow.

7. This man looks so delicate.

8. Even at the brink of getting hypothermia, he looks like he has a better chance of getting a modelling contract than me.

9. Disney Princess indeed.

10. Bingchang looks really sweet. I’m praying she doesn’t turn out evil or two-faced.

11. Wtf is this crow’s voice?!

12. It sounds like a demonic robot. This further proves my point about this show being sci-fi.

13. The crow’s basically a camera.

14. Then don’t let him die! That celestial being never told you to kill him and didn’t even mention the evil bone, your dad did. He literally told you that Tantai Jin’s torment and death triggered his demonic powers. All you need to do is prevent that! And what do you mean he deserves this?! He hasn’t done anything yet!

15. Her strategy is irritating me.

16. It looks like she’s cradling a head. Just the head.

17. I love that he just had to faint for her to understand the severity of the situation.

18. Wtf is that? His subconscious?

19. This demonic being reminds me of that demon that trains Luo Binghe after he gets pushed off the cliff.

20. He wants Tantai Jin to give him his soul to allow him eternal peace? Does he want to use Tantai Jin’s body as a vessel?

21. It’s the 2nd episode and we’ve got Xi Wu feeling him up.

22. Ma’am, how are you sleeping with that on your head?

23. She even got her dangly earrings on!

24. Get over what?

25. Ha! Xi Wu is having thoughts.

26. So am I.

27. She beats him?!

28. Why am I surprised?

29. OG!Xi Wu was an evil person.

30. The fact that she is hesitating about hitting him! Put the whip down! Even though he’ll see you’ve changed and would make him suspicious, at least he’ll be happy about not getting whipped.

31. She cares more about staying in character than changing the past.

32. At least take the gear off before you go to sleep.

33. After literally TORTURING HIM, you're worried for his health. It seems you’ve figured out actions have consequences.

34. AHHH!!!

35. Also as an otherworldly being, deity or whatever she is, Xi Wu can be really dense. I’d understand if she didn’t know how some things worked in the mortal world but for someone responsible for saving the world, your strategy is confusing.

36. I know she’s grieving for what had happened but she can prevent tragedies if she were a little smarter.

37. Is that even comfortable? I’ve always envied my parents for being able to sleep while sitting down because for some reason I can’t.

38. Awww. I love how confused he is.

39. He’s so delicate (This man is over 10 years older than me).

40. Yes, she’s possessed.

41. Just like villainess stories, is she hated by her family?

42. Oh no. She seems to be the favourite. Makes sense since the OG!Xi Wu was running around making trouble without much consequence. How can you be punished for your actions if you’re the Apple in your family’s eyes?

43. Also how many concubines does Xi Wu’s dad have? Does Bingchang and Xi Wu have different mothers?

44. It’s very clear from the beginning that the eldest brother is going to be useless.

45. Ze Yu just vanished. And make Xi Wu apologise to Bingchang. OG!Xi Wu must’ve thought she was entitled to everything. Bingchang must feel ostracised by her own family.

46. Wow, even the kitchen boys are bullying him. They’re probably gonna get beaten by Xi Wu and zapped when Tantai Jin gets into power.

47. This whole thing must be so humiliating as a prince.

48. How is he working in the kitchens and doing dishes while looking so pristine?

49. Is that ice?

50. Are they purposefully making him wash dishes in ice-cold water? Or is it something people did historically?

51. HE HASN'T DONE ANYTHING YET. But he’s going to.

52. I’m not sure you’re aware of this but you’re in the body of his abuser. Of course, he’s avoiding you. Like didn’t you whip him last night?

53. Also, you haven’t spent long enough in that body to make this statement.

54. Yep. I think they put the ice in to torment him.

55. This reminds me of a trope you mostly see in isekai mangas/manhwas where the ML is so rude and aloof towards the FL that all the servants start to think they can do it too.

56. One thing that irks me about these tropes (it irks a lot of other people too) is that when the FL begins to stand up for herself against the servants, she slaps them.

57. Ooh, the music changed.

58. Not only does he speak to robotic crows, but he’s also talking to flies. Or was that a wasp?

59. I was under the impression Tantai Jin would commit murder but he just made the head cook (I think) swallow a fly. His reaction after swallowing the fly would have made you think he was being poisoned or choked.

60. It’s funny that she’s lecturing the staff about how rude they are even though this whole time she kept on saying he deserved it. You left him in the cold and whipped him. You know he’s a captured prince.

61. She’s putting all the blame on the servants rather than saying that OG! Xi Wu and even herself were wrong.

62. Instead of Xi Wu slapping them, they’re slapping themselves.

63. “If I had dignity, I would’ve died years ago” He really is a Disney princess.

64. More specifically, Cinderella. I saw a video essay from a channel called The Take. They talk about how people victim blame Cinderella a lot for not fighting back her abusers. In one part of the video, they talked about how Cinderella allows the abuse to continue as it is very likely that her stepmother would kick her out if she acted out.

65. Tantai Jin doesn’t know that the Xi Wu in front of him is not the original. So if I were him, I’d be more cautious about what type of food Xi Wu feeds me than the servants. Although, OG!Xi Wu could’ve ordered the servants to poison Tantai Jin’s food.

66. This man gives me Jin Xixun vibes or Mo Xuanyu’s cousin who died in the first episode of MDZS/The Untamed.

67. Oh, this is hard to watch.

68. That guy threw the cake on the ground and then stepped on it. Even if I was hungry I could never take a bite of it. It took me a while to even eat/drink something that someone else touched with their hand or mouth.

69. Is she drugged or drunk?

70. omg

71. They kissed! And we’re on the 2nd episode. I know it isn’t the FL but still. I count it.

72. Ok, they’re drugged.

73. I remember the two actors were together in a previous drama and there was a make-out scene that everyone freaked out about. So I assume they know what they’re doing in this drama.

74. So someone tried to make Bingchang and Jin Xixun prince spend the night together by drugging them but instead, they both ate it. It was 100% OG! Xi Wu.

75. Oh wait, they actually did it? But they’re clothed.

76. He has every right to be suspicious of you and the food you’ve given him.

77. Gosh. That crow’s voice is terrifyingly comedic. I giggle every time it opens its beak.

78. Tantai Jin is definitely planning something.

79. At least he’s pretty while doing it. Look at this shot.

80. This king looks familiar. Wasn’t he the emperor from Ashes of Love?

81. Tantai Jin is definitely ripping his head off.

82. This whole political drama is going to push Tantai Jin to join the dark side.

[foundationhq]

Hey admins~ while I like you guys give a lot of freedom I'm a bit stuck with all the choices 😂 I'm indecisive what can I say lol. Any way you guys can give us hints on your vision for the opens? I'm struggling 😭

hello, thank you for your inquiry! i understand where you are coming from, since we have more of a sandbox approach to character creation. i imagine that there would be doubts if a character would fit the verse, especially if you're hesitating on a muse you've put your heart into. :< rejections are never fun and i will stress that during our review process, what we mainly look for is team composition, not what a muse "should be" about.

i avoid prescribing roles because i've ran a "skeleton" rp before (truth be told, it was more of a "bio" rp with detailed backstories) and it was really successful! however, in the end, i felt disappointed in myself because while i was able to see my vision come to life, i did not feel i had done enough to elevate the creativity of my players. i always want to improve not only as a writer, but an admin too in facilitating a supportive writing community.

however, i see lately that people want a little more guidance! so i hope no one minds if i draw the curtains on how we came up with these skeletons below. please feel free to use these as a guideline, but if you have another idea for your muse, go with what calls out to you! i sincerely hope this motivates the writing process for those working away on their apps.

every skeleton is, in a way, tied to an exploration of ethics and morality. each raises a question on how can one enact the concept of justice, when all the parameters for justice and fairness is wholly a social pact with an idea of "good."

[𝐶𝑂𝑊𝐵𝑂𝑌 𝐺𝑅𝐸𝐸𝑇𝐼𝑁𝐺]; what happens to the victims of the choices the foundation makes to keep the peace? is it right for them not to know what happened? how does the foundation know they're not leaving ghosts of people by forcing them to forget?

[𝐻𝐼𝐺𝐻 𝐹𝐼𝐷𝐸𝐿𝐼𝑇𝑌]; science is rife with historical and current-day ethical conflicts, all for "the betterment of society." what research goal are they pursuing that they feel justifies the experiment? how far will someone go to "advance" science? what personal reasons come into the mix?

[𝐾𝐼𝑁𝐺'𝑆 𝐺𝐴𝑀𝐵𝐼𝑇]; how far is too far when pursuing revenge, even if it would be justified? who should atone, and in what way? how does one measure vindication? at what point does the pursuit of justice become tainted by wrath?

[№2 𝑃𝐸𝑁𝐶𝐼𝐿]; in the act of wanting forgiveness, the desire of exoneration usually does not come from the victim. what are the pressures on the innocent for providing "absolution" to the guilty? what are the consequences of turning the other cheek? how can those who were hurt heal during the process of forgiveness?

[𝑃𝐸𝑅𝐹𝐸𝐶𝑇 𝑆𝑇𝑅𝐴𝑁𝐺𝐸𝑅]; how do those in a lower standing of "power" deal with the inequality they often face in their lives? what causes apathy in those affected the most by these unjust circumstances? is there anyone who is allowed to "look away" to keep going?

[𝑅𝐸𝑉𝐸𝑅𝑆𝐸 𝐸𝑁𝐺𝐼𝑁𝐸𝐸𝑅]; how does a moral exemplar deal with a huge mistake? can a single misstep overturn all the goodwill they've created? additionally, what ethical issues arise in the field of academia? whose efforts are recognized, whose work go on uncredited? what biases do those in power have when creating a "canon" of academic work?

[𝑇𝑅𝐸𝐸 𝐻𝑈𝐺𝐺𝐸𝑅]; what code of ethics do we as humans abide by? is that line of justice skewed by our anthropomorphic lens? what are things that exist in nature that conflict the interests of people? can one advocate for something that may harm people if it protects "the other"?

[𝑉𝐸𝐿𝑉𝐸𝑇 𝐺𝐿𝑂𝑉𝐸]; when negotiating opposing sides, what constitutes a "right" compromise? who are the people making these promises, and how do they represent the people they're making deals on behalf of? additionally, is it right to judge someone's social climb when they came from nothing? is it morally wrong to want to serve one's self-interests if those actions also help others?

[𝑄𝑈𝑂𝑇𝐸 𝑈𝑁𝑄𝑈𝑂𝑇𝐸]; where does liberty and freedom coincide and clash with the ideas of justice and equality? how does one navigate what to restrict and what to allow? who makes those choices for everyone? how does the dissemination and suppression of information influence public perception?

in conclusion, thank you for your feedback and i hope posting about our process when creating these skeletons helped you in your choice! i strongly suggest reaching out in dms with what you're envisioning so that we can assist you with resources or musing for your app! :>

> 𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚛 🅟

[jsuhosh94127]

2023 | 12-29-23 5:16 PM

hi, blog!

ooooh, year 2023 is about to end! so, as a little recap, i'll be posting and jotting some of the highlights, experiences, and learnings i've gathered this year. so, this might take really long to capture everything

ps. please bear with me while we go through together this journey-and i'm already asking for some understanding that there will be grammatical errors as i just typed this on the fleet of the moment. hahaha (while listening to paramore! what a throwback ><)

during new year, i never have ever thought that this year would bring out so many things. but, i prayed and really put my faith and heart to wish and look forward that this year would bring all the unexpected, great, and wonderful blessings. and, well, truly! all good and great things happened. as a summary:

i graduated magna cum laude, like boi!!! that's one of the unexpected things i received. i have these inferiority issues that keeps me from taking pride of what i achieve. whenever i would look at my grades on the portal i need to have peptalk myself that i did my best and really put effort on every points i have.

i passed licensure examination for teachers. this one too. i cried the night after the exam. i wasn't able to enroll on any review center because y'know budget and priorities. i submitted papers and the exam fee a day before the last day of submission. i forgot to take my noa from the cashier and took us a week or so to get it. those days, the review days and waiting days are tooooo long. there are times i would cry myself to sleep and go on work like nothing happened. as all i have are the everyday afterwork review and the 3day in house free review by my alma mater, PNU, who called me as i was endorsed by the dean. anyway, i realized that i really did put effort and prayers and having 90.20 average for the exam is really awesome! (thank you get it-keshi and 7rings-ariana grande for reminding me to always get up and get that bag)

i have a decent paying and a work that i finally learn to love. it all started 4 months before our graduation and my schedule is all free so i decided to work immediately. after our finishing school, i immediately prepared my cv and requirements, look online for school vacancies. then, tadda! i am where i am now. funny thing about my employment process is that, there are some applicants before me and the school is still on the screening process. and there is still one person after or before me, i think (?) but after my demo and interview, the school directress asked me if i am readily available to go tomorrow to start my job. ofcourse, i said yes and yippie yup, i love my bffs now. hahahaha. >< even though i can't even have a me time as they always hug and bug me.

buy things that are pink. buy things for myself, buy things i want buy make up, and continue do my hobby. mag-ganda gandahan all day, every way. hahaha

groceries and things for the fam. this one is more of a breadwinner and ate duties, though sometimes i need to sacrifice my wants, it feels fulfilling to give and see my mom's smile. i luv it so much!!!!

not hesitating to buy and have and give things just because i want to.

learn and try new things! i learned how to do eyeliner precisely and perfectly. i was able to eat on different food shops and try new things (with my bf ofc, because if i don't like it he knows what to do! hahahha :P) i also learned how to handle student and people with special needs. i learned that life to each and everyone of us is different, and that's really beautiful.

new friends and reconnected to old friends.

prayers, talking to yourself, and having alone moments. this helped me during the times i am sick. having muscle pains everyday is really irritating but having mindfulness techniques helped me to get by and being open on your condition will greatly make life a little easier.

forgive. freely and wholeheartedly. myself and those people i need to so i can run free from the hurt. idk, but for me forgiving is a must so i can move and see life in a clearer view. but, yeah, i don't forget and i know the place and boundaries and all. i always say it to myself that when i made a mistake "oopsie, i can't undo it, but maybe i can be kinder the next time around." it may sound cheesy and too optimistic, but talking to myself like a 5 year old kid, heals.

listened to new artists. hindi na si keshi at doja cat lang. hahahaha. i learned to go back and listened to the songs when i was moving on, when i was just barely living, and when i am on my lowest. now, i'm listening to them casually reminiscing each moment. acjkkk, life is so nice. some parts of me healed through it.

being grateful. idk, but being grateful to whatever it is, makes me feel better and knowing that if i can handle this, i'll be able to handle much beautiful and greater achievements or things.

basta, marami pa. marami pa akong gustong ilagay sa true lang. i just can't put it here all. should i make a part two? jk. hahaha. but all in all, i want to give praise to God. for making me safe, protected, provided, guided, and sane this year. there's a lot of struggles, left and right. but, knowing that there is someone or an entity that listens to me and where i can speak to anytime makes me feel less alone. (im not lonely, there are many people i love and loves me.) it's just there are thoughts that i think i always keep to myself, and having times where i just look up and blurt out words, makes me feel more connected.

this is taking too long na ata? reader check, press 1. hahaha. until next year again my friends! i pray and hopefully, we may see life in a greater light. i hope we could list more achievements and wonderful things, do greater and kinder things. either be it small or big, may it sound like a leaf on a river or a tree in the forest, every effort to support, be kind, and do for the love of other is the best thing we can do all year round. most importantly, be kind to yourself. always. love it and help it grow. may we become rich in finances, love, life, beauty, and be hearty as always. may 2024, bring the success we all work and put effort for.

i hope than whenever and wherever we are may we grow and bloom and shower everyone around us with love and kindness!

i love you all! <3

[economistnews]

I don't Follow a Guru Because I’m Terrified

Many followers of yoga say to find a guru. A guru is a guide that you follow in life and/or spirituality. Some people choose to follow blindly and others follow with caution. I don't follow a guru because I’m terrified. I have a hard time with the entire guru thing because I'm fearful of being taken advantage of or being guided down a self-serving path.

You give money to most gurus to fund some sort of mission that usually has great intent. My experience was horrible because I felt like I was completely doing the right thing. Wesley Chapman, the son of Dog the Bounty Hunter, was my guru. He had an amazing mission of helping kids that were severely abused and were labelled the same as him - unlikely to thrive.

For most of 2018, I paid $1000 a month to talk on the phone with him once a week. I had assignments and we followed a curriculum that was supposedly reviewed by Dr. Drew whom I eventually met. We talked about my life story - the abuse, my fears, passions and the life I wanted to create. In many ways he used all of those against me in the end. I paid $1500 to fly out to Malibu and work an event called The Human Gathering where I was supposed to be a participant. I got to drive around the founder of Make-a-Wish and other attendees to and from the hotel to the event venue. I met Maggie Q, Dylan McDermott and the daughter of Rodney King. At the end of the event, Wesley told me, ”You convinced me of your future.”

I thought I had finally surrounded myself with the like-minded people I had always dreamed of finding. Then, the ’ask’ happened. Wesley had me on a conference call with his assistant, her husband and myself. They invited me to join them in the quest to help kids all over the world through his organization, A Human Project. This was only an increase of $500 more a month. I felt so sure that I was so the right path that I, without hesitation, said, ”Yes.”

After completing my coaching program, I was asked to come to ’his’ ranch for an internship. This internship had nothing to do with Camp Human or A Human Project and everything to do with how we were to build a product for people to enroll in The Hero’s Quest. I also was used as an assistant for an event called a Warrior Podcast Emersion. Where people paid an upwards of $10,000 to learn how to start podcasting. I ended up building a clickfunnel that made Wesley about $5000 off of two women. This was a complete disaster. I was asked if I was all in. Later, I learned that ‘all in’ meant to leave my life as I knew it and move to Idaho to work for Wake The Hero. There wasn’t actually ever a real coaching curriculum in place at the time of my coaching training.

The call never came after I left the ranch as well as a reimbursement check for gas and a lock. The Long Shot Ranch ended up being owned by three men - Wesley Chapman, Nick Long and Russ Perry. All of them, in my opinion, are frauds. However, after being strung along I was reimbursed with Nick’s permission. Wesley was eventually kicked off the ranch and is now trying to use his family for monetary gain through a vlog where companies sponsor ads with Life With The Chapmans.

[ameliterature]

Neil and Todd Jealousy POV (Yes, there's more)

Charlie POV | Cameron POV

Neil was an only child and this obviously came with minor character flaws. Not only was he given all of the attention by his parent (even if it was the bad kind) Neil never really had to share anything.

Not that he didn't want to share. He just never had many opportunities to, with the lack of siblings and all. The closest he had to a sibling was Charlie. Unlike Neil, Charlie would share everything with him because he had so much to give. Was it the fact that Charlie's family was rich and that he has at least 3 of each item? Maybe, but Charlie was sure to share what he had with his best friend.

Another thing Neil "the Welton Golden boy" Perry had as a flaw was that he simultaneously wore his heart on his sleeve and yet always tried to hide his feelings. Case in point: when Charlie made a move on Todd.

Now, it's only been roughly 2 semesters since they've known Todd Anderson. Neil had the gracious chance to be his roommate, so in some way, it was like having another best friend aside from Charlie. But what he felt for Todd was vastly different from his friendship with Charlie. Something about the way Todd smiled at him, something about the way he makes sarcastic remarks, something about the way they shared glances between each other every now and then.

Neil was completely enthralled by Todd. Some might say to the point of being possessive. Neil would say protective because Todd was the kind of person who needed to be kept safe. Todd wasn't good at standing up for himself, he wasn't good at speaking the same way he wrote poems. Neil took it upon himself to be the one to make Todd feel the included. He had to be included, he had to be where Neil was.

Thankfully the whole Dead Poet Society thing worked out well, Neil was surprised how well Todd was integrated into the group. They even spent Christmas break as a group with Todd. Things were going great between him and Todd, Neil couldn't ask for more than to share his experiences with Todd.

But one night, a regular ole Study group session, something caught Neil's eyes. Todd was helping Knox out with some love poem, obviously meant for Chris, and he could hear the contents of the poem.

"Hymns from above casted when you're near

Heaven's light shine atop a golden-haired angel

My heart's full of whims and vivid dreams

but in your presence they're obligations I hold close

Be mine and I'll keep your heart guarded

Because mine is with yours, unthwarted."

Neil hears Todd recite their draft poem, hearing it as if it were meant for him to hear. His own golden-haired angel was biting the end of his pencil as Knox was scribbling the rest of the poem. Neil catches himself staring just before Todd looks up at him so he brings his attention back to the trigonometry problem he was answering with Cameron.

He couldn't concentrate on sine, cosine, and tangents at the moment, not when Todd's hand is in his peripheral view; all perfect with it's blemishes and tapping to an imaginary beat. Every so often, he'd steal a glance at Todd's eyes, darting back and forth from his paper to Knox's. He'd be jealous of any pupil Todd would eventually have if he became an English teacher. To be consulted with his sweet voice, to be seated by him as he explains anything, to be taught how to express feelings he wasn't sure how to jot down.

Oh have Todd's untampered attention.

"Hey Todd," Charlie's voice resonates across their small table. Neil accidentally shot his eyes to his friend's direction without skipping a beat. "Mind helping me out with a poem too?"

Since when did Charlie ever ask for help from Todd? Not that he wasn't allowed to or anything, Todd was the right person for this task but-- Something about it wasn't sitting right with Neil.

What wasn't a surprise was Todd's hesitant acceptance. He watched as Todd moved over to Charlie's right hand side and Neil felt his back become warm. It wasn't just his back, his guts turned into an unrested sea, and his eyebrows twitched, trying to avoid a scowl.

"What do you wanna write about?"

"I wanna write about Love." Neil saw Charlie lean forward to look Todd deep into his eyes; for a moment, he thought he saw Todd blush. Neil didn't like Todd showing that expression to someone else, or at least someone like Charlie.

"S-So... We'll use cosine to get X--" Cameron muttered, snapping Neil back to his assignment. He looked at the blurred numbers and symbols, trying to remember what the other problem was.

"Right, cosine-"

Just before dinner, Neil catches up with Todd to walk with him to the dining hall.

"So," Neil started, not exactly sure where to lead the conversation to. "I guess it's spaghetti and meatballs again, huh?"

Todd pushed out a chuckle in response. "Yeah, I guess it is."

Neil had Todd to himself for a tiny moment, for a stupid one-liner too, but it felt like he was in Cloud nine. Todd's calm expression was all he could ask for, paired with his blue eyes looking back at him.

When they reached their table, they assumed their usual spots, Neil being on the left side of the table and Todd on the other. However, Charlie decided to change up the seating arrangement and sat beside Todd instead of him.

There's that funny feeling again. Neil's stomach was nothing but a pit that resembled a deep well without a bucket, nothing to retrieve and remove the sludge that was forming in it. He hated how Todd was so responsive to Charlie's words, how Charlie was so capable of making Todd blush, he hated the sight of Todd rubbing elbows with Charlie as they ate. Neil wasn't sure why he was feeling this way, why he even thought something innocent between Charlie and Todd could make him so agitated. It could all be his imagination.

When Todd left for the bathroom, Neil decided to interrogate his best friend.

"Hey Charlie, why the sudden change of seating arrangement? Thought I was your cute best friend." He tried to sound like his usual self.

"Well, I'm trying to get closer to Todd."

"W-what? Why?" Neil felt his voice crack, much like his confidence.

"I dunno, he's pretty cute. Don't you agree?"

"I--" Neil felt his whole body stiffen, his hand tightened it's pressure on his spoon like a clamp.

"I'm thinking of asking him out soon. No one else seems interested." Neil saw it, he saw Charlie smirk. Neil's emotions became unreasonably irrational, they became unhinged and even if he tried to hide it, they were all bubbling to the surface. Charlie had everything already, he and Neil shared everything before this, but for some reason, Neil couldn't share Todd with someone like Charlie.

"Oh hi, Todd! Welcome back" Neil glares at Charlie while he greets Todd.

"What did I miss?" Todd asks innocently, still taking his seat beside Charlie.

As Charlie began his sentence, Neil cuts him off. "Nothing-" Todd shifts his eyes to share eye contact with Neil. "By the way, we should head back to our room, I need help with my poems." Neil's last attempt of gaining the upper hand on Charlie failed when Charlie brought up his and Todd's prior arrangement.

Neil didn't get it. What did Charlie have that he didn't? Or better yet, what does Charlie not possess yet that he would try to make the moves on Todd?? Neil hated this feeling- this vicious vine-like feeling trapping him. Was it... Jealousy?

Neil's never had much of a reason to be jealous about someone before. He's only been jealous of people who were freer than him-- people like Charlie. Was he jealous of Charlie in that regard? That he could proudly express what he felt for Todd and Neil couldn't? He guessed that was the difference. Charlie did have everything; down to the personality that could make Todd fall for him.

Neil was in Meeks' dorm room, resigning himself in defeat like a pathetic loser he thought he was.

All Neil could do was blankly stare into the shine of the wires that coiled around parts of their machine. A brief knock on their door broke his trance- It was Cameron.

“Do you guys mind if I hang out here? I’m just gonna do my reviewers for a bit.”

“Sure, no problem.” Meeks nods, still measuring out some amount of wires.

“Wait, how come you’re not studying in your room?” Neil questioned,

Cameron took a moment to respond. “Charlie… he wanted to focus on his homework with Todd… Alone.”

This was the last straw for Neil, the final push that made him stand up for once. He couldn't bury his jealousy anymore, he had to confront Charlie.

He left his friends to march his way to Charlie's room. He wasted no time when asking Charlie about his motives.

"Well hello, Perry! What do I owe the pleasure?"

"Quit it-" Neil cuts him off. "Are you serious about Todd?"

"... What?"

"I- I'm asking if you're really interested in Todd?"

Maybe this was all a trick, maybe Neil was just being jealous, maybe Charlie was playing a cruel joke on Neil and he had to shake it out of him.

"Yes." Charlie's expression was ripe with confidence.

With that, Neil felt his world shatter. What was he doing? Was he gonna fight his friend over his feelings for Todd? Was he gonna deny Todd of someone as fun and as romantic as Charlie? Charlie's given so much to Neil and the way he was acting was nothing short of being selfish.

If Charlie really liked Todd, then Todd would be lucky. If Todd would return those feelings, Charlie would be the luckiest man to ever live.

Neil had nothing to offer to Todd that Charlie couldn't top. Neil felt his bitter feelings turn into catharsis, accepting that Todd's better off sharing his moments with Charlie than him.

"T-then... Please take care of him, okay?" Neil buckled his shoulders.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"If you ever hurt Todd-- You're a dead man, got it?" Neil's eyes were like daggers, piercing right at Charlie's own brown eyes.

"R-right..."

Neil figured he had to leave, he couldn't bear to see Todd and Charlie exchanging looks. But this of course wasn't the case. A knock echoed in the room.

When he opened the door, Todd was right there, his beautiful eyes staring up at Neil will a quizzical expression.

Neil assumed that Charlie would most likely profess his love to those eyes, and that knowledge broke Neil's heart.

"Sorry Todd, looks like I'm gonna have to move our study session for now. I think Neil needs your help more. Right, Neil?" Charlie spoke, catching Neil's bewildered expression.

"I'm sure he's got something more important than mine anyway."

Neil looks at Charlie and Todd, bouncing a confused face between them. He sees Charlie's wink before Todd guides Neil out of the room.

Todd sighs as he returns to his room with Neil, his sweaty hands in the midst of sticking to his papers.

How did he end up in this situation?

How could he explain the entire day?

It all started when he told Charlie about his crush on Neil in private. All he wanted was advice from the best friend of his crush and nothing more.

"Glad you came to me, Toddsie!" Charlie pats him on the back excitedly.

Todd didn't like how enthusiastic Charlie was being in this situation, though he was grateful Charlie immediately accepted him for coming out.

"I know exactly how to make him fall in love with you!"

"L-look Charlie, I'm not trying to get Neil to like me! I just-- I just wanted to know how to deal with all these feelings I'm having."

All these feelings- Todd's had these "feelings" ever since Neil shook his hand for the first time in the courtyard. He's never met someone as perfect as Neil. Yeah, he had Father Issues, impulsive actions, even the tendency to make weird noises (but he found those the cutest) and yet Neil made Todd's world move.

Neil's laughter, Neil's smile, the stolen glances he catches Neil casting his direction-- It was all Todd sought after in his recent days at Welton.

"Oh please, Todd, those 'feelings' are straight up love from what I hear. We just have to know if Neil feels the same way!"

"We don't even know if he's interested in men! Charlie- What am I supposed to do?" Todd buried his face into his hands.

"Don't worry, I'll find out a way to not only check if he swings that way, but I can guarantee I can get him to return your feelings."

"That-- That doesn't make any sense, Charlie." Todd wasn't able to question his friend any longer as they dashed into the study hall.

The Study group went on as usual, Todd assisting Knox with his poem for Chris, Meeks and Pitts building a contraption he was sure was the Radio Mark II, and Neil, Cameron and Charlie trying to answer some trigonometry homework.

What didn't help was Neil being directly in front of him. Todd could see Neil in his glasses, unabashedly handsome and very distracting. Todd would try his best to help Knox with his poem but Todd's eyes would linger onto Neil's perfectly "framed" face.

He then hears Charlie call him over. At first, Todd didn't think much of it, but he soon regrets ever telling Charlie of his crush on Neil.

The whole evening, Charlie tried to make Neil jealous without planning it out with Todd first. If Todd had at least known, he wouldn't have been trying picture Neil in Charlie's place as some sort of "method acting" to go along with this scheme. When dinner began, Charlie took Cameron's spot for 'maximum efficiency'. It didn't help when Charlie called him "cute" in front of Neil. Would Neil agree? Would Neil even describe a guy to be cute? Would Todd be able to enjoy his spaghetti and meatballs without Charlie's arm around him?

Todd decided that he should excuse himself to the bathroom for compose himself. (And to evade the plethora of compliments Charlie showered him with.)

When it came from Charlie, it felt like a joke, like a friendly description, really, than an actual compliment. Then Todd thinks if they came from Neil... then those words would make him swoon.

Would Neil even fall for this type of trick? Was it even right to trick Neil like this? Would Neil be even okay with the idea of Todd being in a relationship in with a man? He wasn't even sure if Neil would accept Todd's feelings, let alone feel jealous of Charlie.

As Todd approached their table, he's immediately greeted by Charlie.

"What did I miss?"

"Well Todd--" "Nothing." Neil cuts of Charlie with a serious tone.

Oh no... did Neil find out? Did Charlie rat him out already?

"By the way, we should head back to our room, I need help with my poems." Neil looks up at Todd with an expression that is both deadpan and attractive to him, Todd had no other choice but to accept.

"What? Todd, I thought you'd help me out?" Charlie pouts. "I did ask first." Todd didn't want to miss his opportunity to be with Neil, especially not when he looks at him like that. But Todd looks back at Charlie, raising his eyebrows as if to say "Just go along with it."

Todd was reluctant, of course, he didn't want to perpetuate fooling Neil in any way, but he wasn't sure if Neil had anything to return at all. They were always alone after all, nothing would be stripped away if he spent one evening in Charlie's room to make Neil jealous.

"Right, sorry, Neil. I'll go back to our room after I help out Charlie." Todd replied with a pained expression hidden behind his face.

That evening, when he approached Charlie's room, he hears Neil's voice muffling through. Todd wished had the will to listen in but he assumed it wouldn't be his business if it was said behind closed doors. He took another moment before knocking on Charlie's door.

Neil opens the door for Todd, their eyes meeting briefly, like a celestial occurrence that Todd took note of. Have they always been this brown?

"Hi Todd!" Charlie greets him, breaking him from Neil's gaze.

"Hey Charlie, Hi Neil."

He was expecting Charlie to pull another stunt to make Neil's brown eyes angry, but instead both his and Neil's eyes lifted in surprise when Charlie told him Neil needed his help more.

Did they come to some agreement?

And Todd could've sworn Charlie was winking at Neil... or was it at him?

All these questions didn't matter when they were alone in their room.

Their chests rattled like cages, their hearts ready to jump out at any moment.

Neil bit his lip as Todd took a seat by his desk.

"S-so Neil..." Todd muttered, "Can I ask you something? B-before I help you with your poem..."

"Oh- Yeah, sure."

"What do you think of... of men dating each other?"

Neil lets out a tiny cough. "W- Excuse me?"

"Do you think... it's ok? For two guys to like each other?"

Neil wasn't sure how to respond, was Todd telling him that he liked Charlie? Was Neil too late? Did he miss his chance to tell Todd what he really felt?

"I-- I guess it's alright," Neil answered, slumping his shoulders down in defeat. If he was gonna lose Todd to Charlie, he might as well be supportive. "But- you have to make sure it's the right person." Neil wasn't going down without a fight though.

Todd's face brightened with Neil's response. So 1 part of his query is answered; Neil is ok with the idea of men liking each other. Now it's the question of Neil's feelings for Todd.

"I-If someone, a guy, liked you, how would you feel?" Todd stood up, turning to face Neil. Both of them were by their desks, like two sturdy posts defending their base. Todd awaited Neil’s response with the anticipation akin to a war officer in a meeting room.

"I... would really only prefer it from one guy." Neil took a step forward, with the courage of a powerful Chesspiece during an endgame.

Todd took note of this, mimicking his step, this time walking a bit closer to Neil with his hands in his pockets. "Y-yeah? Who?"

Neil noted this feeling being similar to a spelling bee, like spelling out a complicated word letter by letter, taking a breath to make sure the next thing he was about to say was exactly what the world wanted him to say.

"You, Todd. It's always going to be you."

Todd looks up at Neil, who's now inches away from him from, fully realizing their slight height difference. "I'd say the same for you."

"I hope... I'm not... taking you away from Charlie-" Neil slowly brings his hand to sweep Todd’s hair aside to see his eyes better.

Todd snickers slightly, catching Neil by surprise. "Neil... You don't have to worry about Charlie. I don't have any feelings for him."

"But-" Neil looks concerned, feeling like he betrayed Charlie. "He... He likes you. Todd, I--"

"Is that what he told you? Neil... I hope you won't be angry when I tell you he's been pulling your leg."

Neil jerks his head backwards. "What?"

"I.. Just promise you won't be angry okay?" Todd had to come clean, he couldn’t handle Neil thinking badly of him if he never admitted Charlie's plan. Neil nods before Todd reveals Charlie’s idiotic scheme to get them together by means of tomfoolery.

Neil sighs with a smile, leaning forward to rest on Todd's shoulder. Todd was still getting used to the fact Neil's VERY close right now.

"Well, you guys did a pretty good job of making me extremely jealous." Neil laughs a bit. He was in relief that he didn't need to compete with Charlie.

"I'm... I'm really sorry, Neil. I told him I just wanted advice." Todd looks down with embarrassment.

Neil tilts Todd’s chin up with his hand, bringing his face up to look at him. "You're gonna have to make up for it, y'know?"

Todd’s face simmered under Neil's touch. "I know."

Todd learned that Neil was a Jealous type of guy, not the type to be possessive, but definitely the type to mope around rather than steal someone else's love interest.

Luckily for Neil, he already had Todd’s heart to begin with.

Neil wasn’t used to sharing, but he and Todd shared their first kiss that night. That's a compromise he was willing to do.

Bonus:

Knox, Meeks and Pitts POV:

4 of their friends (the roommates) getting paired up in one night made them:

Thanks again to @sweettodd for that one post that spawn all these POVs haha

Taglist: @anderperrytheplatypus @she-nuwanda @andersonsdeskset @sweetnessbythesea @maisietheweltoncow [tell me if u wanna be added/removed next time]

[reid-me-a-story]

I Need a Doctor

Based on the song “Doctor” by Jack Stauber

Synopsis: Reader is pining after her best friend, but after a drunken night and a failed attempt at seduction things start to look up for her

A/N: This is my first ever fan-fiction and WOOF was it a beast! This is based off a song that reminded me of Spencer some how, see the lyrics below!

Although this is a self insert one-shot, reader is never introduced as (y/n), I personally find it distracting in fan fiction to have to skip over that so instead of (y/n) there is use of pet names when needed. Any defining features such as height , hair colour, etc. is not specified including weight - however Spencer does pick reader up. Smut is included but if you aren’t comfortable reading it then feel free to stop about halfway through when there’s a little breaker in the story!

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!reader* (please read content warnings!)

Category: Angst/smut[18+] (and a little bit of fluff, all around a pretty wholesome story)

Content warning: Idiots in love, unrequited love (happy ending I promise!), drinking, unprotected sex, breeding kink, oral (male and female receiving), Fingering, Swearing, use of pet names (baby, princess, Little girl), teensy bit of degradation. *Let me know if I missed any!!*

Word count: 4.2k

Lyrics: Verse: Sarah Vanessa, Jack Stauber]

I need a doctor, oh

I'm not a doctor but I think I might be able to help

It's not a simple symptom, no

My diagnosis is that no one has been treating you well

[Chorus: Sarah Vanessa, Jack Stauber]

So, what do you prescribe?

Love's the only medicine

Is this a lie?

No, take three of these a da-ay

Oh, I think I'm cured

Cool, are you alright on your own?

No, I'm not sure...

Okay

[Outro: Sarah Vanessa]

Oh, I think I'm sick again...

*gasp

After three years of pining after your co-worker and best friend you decided to try to fill the void caused but the unrequited love.

You knew you wanted to be with Spencer since your first day, however it seemed that all he wanted was a friend. You guys were close and spent a lot of time together but it never seemed to progress. You once thought about taking the reins and asking him out, thinking that maybe he was just nervous. You grossly misread that situation and thank god you didn’t ask because the next day you over heard him telling Derek about a girl he wanted to ask out.

After that you started to isolate yourself from Spencer. You loved him but he didn’t feel the same. Garcia and JJ tried to make you feel better by telling you that it would never last with this new girl. You wanted to believe it but actions speak louder than words. Not only were you keeping a bit more distance from Spencer but he seemed to be cancelling plans left and right.

While you never made any new plans you would always spend every Saturday together when you weren’t on a case. Sometimes you guys would do something as extravagant as a play or spending the day touring a museum exhibit - something you wouldn’t nearly be as interested in if Spencer wasn’t your tour guide. Other times your days would be spent watching old reruns of your favourite shows or having Spencer read to you. Those days were your favourite because listening to Spencer’s smooth melodic voice always seemed to calm you down even at your most stressed out.

Since you over heard Spencer tell Derek about this girl he wanted to ask out he’s been cancelling your Saturday plans. It didn’t bother you at first but it’s been almost 5 weeks and you’re getting quite hurt by it. He still talks to you at work or spends time with you when you are on cases and dismissed for the day but it’s not the same.

Today is Friday and Garcia came skipping through the glass doors straight for you. “Hello, my beautiful human! Since we have no case do you want to have a Girls night tonight? JJ and Emily are coming! Please come!” She begs.

You debated declining so you can spend your weekend in solitude, sulking over your best friend but the look in Garcia’s eyes made you reconsider. “Okay sure, where are we going?”

Penelope squealed “Ahh! Okay awesome! We’re going to be going to this cute little Italian restaurant and then heading next door to this bar! It has really good Yelp reviews and - OOH maybe we can get you a hunk to take home tonight and-“

That got Spencer’s attention and his head whipped up to look at Penelope. While his eyes darted over to you to gauge your reaction to Penelope’s comment, you both locked eyes. You thought you saw him silently beg you not to go out tonight but you ignored it and stood up.

Penelope was still chattering away while you were packing up so you can go home to freshen up. You really didn’t want to get set up with some random guy but it might fill the void that is still there. Once Penelope gives you an opening you ask her what time to be ready for. She tells you that she will pick you up at 7. You thank her and head home.

Once you pass the barrier to your apartment you relax your shoulders, not realizing how tense you had been all day. The dread of going out tonight started to really sink in. If you were being honest with yourself you would have loved to have spent the night sitting in silence reading a book that reminded you of anything except Spencer but instead you agreed to go out and get drunk with your co-workers. Great.

You hop into the shower and take your time drying your hair. Just as you finish putting your makeup on and getting dressed Garcia texts you that she’s outside. You throw on your jacket and slip your heels on and walk outside.

After a really nice dinner you found yourself 6 shots in at the bar next door. You were fending off a really persistent guy when your phone goes off. You notice that it’s Spencer and you’re able to use it as an excuse to get away from the guy thats hitting on you. Despite how much you want to fill the emptiness that you feel without him you don’t want to just sleep around to do it.

You step outside into the cool air and answer your phone. “Hello, Doctor” you slur

“Hey... I - I uh...” Spencer stutters. You can tell he wants to say something but instead of waiting your tipsy mind forced the words out of your mouth

“I need a Doctor” you were attempting to be seductive but based on Spencer’s reaction you figured it didn’t come across right away

“Oh my god, stay where you are I’m going now” then the call drops.

“Shit” you say to yourself. You head back in to the girls. This is the last thing you wanted. Or is it? You’ve been dying to spend time with him outside of work for weeks. It sucks that you’re drunk for it but by the time he shows up and comes inside you are absolutely buzzing with excitement.

Spencer looks around the bar quickly for you. Before he locks eyes with you, you try to take in his appearance. He looks worried, his hair is messy and his curls look like they’ve been stretched by his hands running through them. Once he looks at you his shoulders relax and he lets out a deep breath.

“Hi” he breathes once he reaches you, he looks relieved to see you look physically okay.

“Hi Dr. Reid, fancy seeing you here” you slur and reach out to touch his arm. Before you make contact though you pull back; knowing how he is about touch. He ignores that and pulls you in for a bone crushing hug.

“I was worried about you” he whispers into your hair. Your heart starts beating faster the longer he holds onto you and you bury your face in his chest, inhaling his scent. He always smells good to you, like old paper and coffee. He smells like home and you start to tear up.

He feels you shudder and pulls back and notices your tears. “Hey, hey, what’s going on are you okay? Didn’t you say you needed a Doctor?”

“Oh yea,” you whisper “ typical drunk girl crying, it’s no big deal. Aren’t you a Doctor? I just need you”

“Do you want me to drive you home?”

You shake your head “Can I stay over at your place instead?”

He looks hesitant but agrees nonetheless. You both wave goodbye to the girls and he leads you out to his car by the small of your back. When you get to the car Spencer opens the door for you and makes sure you’re buckled in before going and sliding into the drivers seat. You turn on the radio at a low volume so you don’t have to sit in the awkward silence.

Once you get to his apartment he gets out and walks around to open your door. You get out and he leads the way upstairs. You make your way inside and as soon as you pass the threshold of his front door you don’t know what to say. He’s the first to break the silence. “Do you want some water? Maybe some Tylenol? If might help you feel better”

“O-okay” you stutter. You follow him into his kitchen and take the glass filled with water from him. You take a huge sip and put the glass down.

Just when he opens his mouth to say something you blurt out the question that’s been burning in your mind since it happened, “Spencer, why did you call me?”

He opens and closes his mouth a few times before saying “It’s stupid really, don’t worry about it,” and before you’re able to respond he asks “ Do you want some clothes to change into? Might be more comfortable than what you have on”

You nod and he leaves, he comes back in a few minutes with a button up Pyjama shirt with little dinosaurs on them with matching pants. You go to walk away but he grabs your hand. You turn to look at him when he pulls you into a hug again. “I miss you” he whispers.

The admission makes your eyes prick with tears. Instead of saying anything through your scratchy throat you just nod and hug him tighter. You both stand like that for a few moments before you pull away. Your skin is on fire from his touch and you can’t stand it anymore. You advert yourself eyes from him so you don’t have to look at him trying to read your thoughts through your eyes. You’re afraid he would hear the truth in your thoughts about how much you love him.

You slip into the bathroom to change quickly and when you emerge you find Spencer standing by the bed waiting for you. When he hears the door open he looks at you and you can hear him take a deep breath. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it” he whispers under his breath.

Trying not to break the silence too much you whisper back, “Get used to what?”

All the time in the world could not have given you the preparation to hear the next words that he chose to say.

“How effortless beautiful you look.”

“WHAT?” Your inner voice screams. Tears prick the corners of your eyes for the third time that night. “Please don’t Spencer.”

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t say things like that and expect me not to love you”, You say just barely above a whisper.

Spencer closes the distance between you and gently pushes a few loose strands of your hair behind your ear. You try to keep your eyes on your hands that you hold between you and Spencer but he pulls your attention to his eyes. “What if that’s what I want?”

Before you can respond he closes the final distance between you two. His lips are soft and full against yours. His hands move to your hair and yours gravitate to his shoulders. He tastes like coffee and mints and the taste is almost as intoxicating as the liquor you drank earlier in the night.

You push him back towards the bed and he sits on the end. You go to straddle him but he stops you with a hand in your waist. “We shouldn’t..”

“Oh.. y-yea, I understand” you say defeated.

“Oh god, no. Trust me. I want to- I want to so bad but you’re drunk and you’re not thinking clearly. I’ve wanted this for so long you don’t understand but I’d don’t want you to wake up and regret anything-“

You cut his rambling off with a kiss and he immediately relaxes. You pull back with a sigh and a tiny smile while nodding in understanding.

Spencer stands up, kissing your forehead before disappearing into the bathroom. You start to head out into the living room when you hear him call out “Where are you going?”

“To sleep on the couch, I don’t want to intrude.”

“The beds big enough for the both of us,” he states before quickly adding with a small blush, “I- uh- unless you aren’t comfortable with that”

You blush in return and slowly pad your way over to Spencer’s bed. You pull back the covers off your side and slide in, Spencer stretches out his long legs, reaching over and pulling you into him by your waist. You rest your head in his chest and start dozing off to the sound of his heart beating.

Just before you succumb to your sleep you hear him whisper into your head “I love you”

———

You wake up to the smell of coffee and the Saturday morning sun beaming through the windows. You go to stretch out and realize that you’re not at home but instead at Spencer’s, in his bedroom, in his clothes. Last nights confessions flood your memory and you smile to yourself. He loves you. Spencer Reid loves you.

Despite your pounding headache you can’t help but jump out of bed and pad into the kitchen. You see Spencer standing by his coffee maker. As soon as he spots you his eyes fill with something you just can’t quite place, and a small smile lights his face. You slowly step towards him and jump onto the counter, sitting right next to the coffee maker.

“Good morning” you say as softly as possible, as to not disturb the peacefulness of the morning.

Instead of answering in words, Spencer laces his fingers into your hair and pulls you forward to kiss you softly. When you both break away to replace the air in your lungs he finally speaks, “Good morning, beautiful. How do you feel? How’s your head?”

“No complaints” You joke, while winking at him.

The innuendo is lost on him for a few seconds before he laughs and says “No you dork! Your headache!”

“Ah, I’ll manage. Is there enough coffee there for me?”

“Always, anything for you”

You two drink your coffee in silence; with you playing with Spencer’s free hand, and him trying to memorize every second of this morning. Spencer finishes his coffee first and places his cup down on the counter. With his now empty hand, he starts playing with your hair, running his hands through the soft locks.

You soon finish your cup and pull him to stand in between your legs. “I think,” you say sneakily “I think I need a doctor”

“What do you mean?” Spencer asks

“Hmmm well I think you might be able to help me, Doctor” you whisper in his ear while running your hands up and down his chest. You hear his breathing start to get heavy. When your nails get close to the waistband of his sweats his breath catches in his throat and a soft moan escapes instead.

“What seems to be the problem?” He says, voice low and husky.

“Mmmm” you sigh “Well Doctor, my symptoms aren’t simple, think you can handle it?”

“I don’t think anyone has been treating you right.” He moans softly again as one of your hands start to play with the hairs at the nape of his neck.

“So what do you prescribe, Dr. Reid?”

“Me.” He claims before slamming his mouth against yours. The kiss is hungry and Spencer quickly dominates it. His hand move from your hair down to you waist and the other hand moves to the front of your borrowed sleepwear, pulling at the drawstrings. You feel heat bloom between your thighs. You never expected him to be so aggressive but you loved it. You loved him, and you wanted him- now.

“Mm Spencer, please..” you moan between heated kisses.

Spencer chuckles and starts kissing down your jaw and neck “What baby? What do you need” he mumbles against your skin.

“You.” You moan breathlessly. He growls against the skin of your neck while slowly sliding his hand into your pyjamas. Once he reaches the waistband of your underwear he pulls back to look into your eyes - silently asking for consent.

“Please, Spencer. I need you! Please!” He smiles and reaches into your underwear and is fingers slide past your folds feeling the wetness from how turned on you were.

He moans when he feels you. “Oh wow baby, you’re so wet. Is this all for me?”

“Yes Spence, all for you.” You breathe out between a soft moan.

“Good. You’re mine, baby” he finally sides one of his long fingers between your folds and starts pumping his hand slowly- curling a finger up to press against that sweet spot inside of you, causing a guttural moan to leave your throat. He withdraws his hand and you whine at the loss. He gives you a look and its intensity stops any sounds from escaping except for soft pants.

He signalled for you to lift your hips and he pulled you towards the edge of the counter. He pushed your knees apart and kneeled down. The sight of Spencer looking up at you between your legs almost made you finish right there and then - you let out a low groan. He chuckles and moves forwarded starts nipping at your inner thigh, never taking his eyes off you.

He kisses everywhere except where you want him. Whines escape your mouth before you can stop them and you can feel him smile against your leg. Finally showing you a little bit of mercy and finally licked a thick stripe up in between your folds. Spencer lean out a low moan against your sex, “You taste so good, baby”

Your back arches and you throw your head back. Your breathing picks up and one of your hands grip his hair. You tug on his Chestnut curls - hard “Spencer, please! more… fuck - please!”

“What do you need princess?”

“You, Spence! Pl - uhh - Please!” You scream at him.

“Anything for you,” he adds, before adding two fingers in the mix. He thrusts his fingers in and up towards that spot inside you while flicking his tongue over your clit. Your eyes roll back and you let out a deep moan. You never thought that your best friend, the man who is perpetually awkward around women would be this good. Looking down towards him you see that his eyes haven’t left you - its like he’s trying to memorize every movement your body makes. The knowledge of Spencer watching you come undone combined with the pleasure coursing through your veins sends a wave of euphoria crashing over you.

“Fuck!” You scream out as you ride out your orgasm, one of the most intense of your life if you’re being honest. When you finally come down and try to catch your breath you look down towards where Spencer is and his eyes are wide while staring at you.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful, baby” He jumps up and crashes his lips on yours and you can taste yourself on his lips and tongue. You moan into his mouth and reach down towards the waistband of his sweats pulling them down with his boxers. You watch his cock spring up and slightly gawk at the size of him. He’s bigger than anyone you’ve been with and you tell him as much. Before he can respond you jump down off the counter while pushing him towards the wall beside you so he has some sort of support.

You lick a thick stripe from the base of his shaft before leaving a small kiss to the tip, tasting the salty pre-cum. You take the head into your mouth and hollow out your cheeks while taking more in. What you can’t fit in your mouth you pump with your hand.

You look up at Spencer through your lashes; he’s looking back down at you, with his hand balled into a fist pressed up against his mouth. You hate that he’s silencing himself from you so you reach up and grab his hand to place it at the back of your head - giving him permission to fuck your face at his pace. He’s trying to be gentle but after a few strokes with you hollowing your cheeks he can’t help but buck his hips further into your mouth - causing you to gag. You swallow around him and he slides deeper. Your nails are digging into his thighs leaving ten, small angry red crescent moon indents behind. He thrusts slightly deeper causing you to gag and tears to slide down your face, “come on baby, I know you can take me deeper”

At the sound of his voice you hum, causing his hips to buck into your mouth again. “Fuck!” He pulls out and continues “Don't wanna cum there. I wanna fill you up baby. Do you want that? Do you want me to fill that tight little cunt up?”

You moan and nod excitedly and Spencer grips the back of your thighs, signalling you to jump. He carries you into the bedroom with you laying kisses and leaving marks over his jaw and neck. You find a sensitive spot just below his ear that causes his breath to get caught in his throat. Once you both enter the room he places you gently on the bed, climbing in-between your legs and kissing your lips and down towards your neck. He starts to unbutton your pyjama shirt while leaving small red and purple love bites over your neck and chest. Once he finally removed the last article of clothing on you he takes a step back to admire your body. Usually this would cause you to be self-conscious; meaning you would usually cover yourself with your hands or a blanket. Something in Spencers eyes calmed you and made you relax. He made you feel beautiful just by the look in his eyes - and he said so in just as many words, “ You’re so beautiful baby, do you know that?”

“Please Spence, I need you inside me! I need you to fuck me right now or else I might die…” You whine

“Well, we can’t have that” He chuckles. Spencer pulls off his t-shirt and kneels in-between your legs, pulling one over his shoulder, one hand on your thigh and the other on your waist, He thrusts in and bottoms out completely - causing you to yell out in surprise. “You make such pretty noises baby… how many more can I get out of you, huh?”

Spencer sets a brutal pace, thrusting into you deeper than you thought was possible. Your hands desperately try to grab anything to hold on to. One settles on the hand gripping your waist tightly, surely leaving bruises that you could only hope would last. Your other hand reaches forward - scratching your nails down his chest and leaving red welts behind in its wake - causing Spencer to let out a guttural moan. He leans forward, dropping your leg to his elbow to relieve the pressure, and kisses you deeply. His hand leaves your waist and he presses his thumb to your bundle of nerves, pressing slightly and rubbing small circles over it. “ I want you to come for me baby. come on little girl, you can do it”

You couldn’t defy him even if you wanted to. Your body gave into his wishes and crashed into the wall at full speed. Spencer kept the same pace as he fucked you though your orgasm. “Oh what a good girl. come on baby, one more for me…”

“One mo-ore? Spenc-! Fuck!”

“Yes, one more beautiful. Fuck- I know you can do it baby. One more and I’ll fill you up with my cum. You’d - fuck!- like that, huh? You’d like - ugh - to be my dirty… little …cum-slut… wouldn’t you?”

Your eyes rolled back at his words. You could barely believe what you were hearing. His words sent you over the edge for your third and final time. Your entire body shuddered from overstimulation and pleasure. Spencer moaned loudly and you felt him twitch inside you, his cock painting your walls with his cum. Just as he starts to pull out you reach forward and beg with wide eyes “No! Stay! I want you to keep it in me, please Spence, please! I need-“

He cuts you off with a kiss and presses back into you, holding you as close as he can - trying to follow your wishes. After a few minutes he started to soften, he slowly pulled out of you despite your protests. He shushed you with a few quick kisses to your lips and quickly ran to the washroom to get a damp washcloth. He wiped between your legs as gently as he could without overstimulating you too much.

Spencer flopped down beside you, grabbing you and pulling you into his side. He starts slowly kissing your lips, cheeks, forehead - really anywhere his lips could reach without having to let go of you. You giggle a little bit as he gets to a ticklish spot on your neck. “Well Doctor, I think I’m cured. I guess you were right, I just needed you”

“And three orgasms,” he deadpanned.

You both laugh a little at that. You look at him and that same look is in his eyes from before. You’re finally able to place it. “I love you, Spence.”

His eyes shine a little brighter and he leans forward to rest his forehead against yours. “I love you more, beautiful girl”

[accidentalrabbit]

CHERRY MAGIC

(series + bonus ep. "Valentine's Day / Rokkaku")

Japan 2020

RANK: A

A-pairing: Adachi x Kurosawa

B-pairing: eh, we’ll get to this one

Other character(s) i enjoyed: Fujisaki, Rokkaku

Overall review:

"What if turning thirty years old without having sex gave you the power to read minds?" I'm hooked. Please tell me more.

Cherry Magic is a chaste (ha!) little series with solid production value and a fun story that doesn't take itself too seriously but does try its best to be earnest and consistent, and if nothing else, i respect a show that does a good job being exactly what it is. The mind-reading virgin premise adds a unique supernatural element to the narrative without wasting screentime trying to explain itself. Sometimes weird things are just weird! The series also gets points for being an office rom-com without a boss-employee tryst or anyone getting fired because of a relationship, two of my LEAST favorite office romance tropes. Instead, Cherry Magic takes the popular kid/wallflower nerd high school dynamic, ages it up a decade and a half, and captures something magical about the banalities of adulthood and the timeless feeling of falling in love.

From the moment Kurosawa's hand first brushes Adachi's cheek, revealing his crush, i was riveted, and my enjoyment of their relationship only escalated from there. Wallflower nerd virgin Adachi and popular kid adult taxpayer Kurosawa are an excellent lead pairing, and the conceit of Adachi having to touch people to read their minds introduces an incredible amount of homoerotic tension between them despite the low levels of conventional heat. The fact that Adachi and (especially) Kurosawa both want badly to touch and be touched is played against Adachi's attempts not to take advantage of his new power, to great effect. I like the way both of them try to respect each other's boundaries but struggle deeply with their own repressed desires, which is far more effective and thematically resonant in this story than an external conflict.

Kurosawa's outer confidence and popular appeal belie his deep-seated self-doubt, and his actor gives an excellent performance full of half-hesitations and dazzling smiles whenever Adachi validates him. Adachi is a ball of self-deprecating neurosis who clings to routine for comfort. He doesn't realize his greatest strengths lie outside of his new powers, and it's nice to watch how his kindness to Kurosawa and his other coworkers ultimately forces his character to grow. They take care of each other, they listen to each other, they encourage each other, they remember each other's food preferences, they have wacky but temporary misunderstandings. Their domestic scenes are especially good, and i would pay real money to watch two hours of Kurosawa doing nothing but cooking for Adachi throughout the day.

The side characters of Fujisaki and Rokkaku are fun to have around. Fujisaki gets a whole subplot about how she wishes she didn't face so much familial pressure for being single, and the way Adachi handles discovering this information really rounds out both of their characters. It's nice when less prominent characters get thoughtful treatment in service of interesting themes. Rokkaku, who is hard-working and productive, but not always very perceptive, is a nice little comic relief character and helps advance or connect plot threads between our lead couples. Speaking of whom: Tsuge and Minato also exist. We'll get there soon. Both Fujisaki and Rokkaku come in clutch in the finale to make Kurosawa's Christmas fireworks date come true after some last-minute angst, and i love an ally moment.

Overall the writing for the show is fairly tight, and none of the characters end up feeling totally extraneous to its plot or themes. And there are a few interesting messages to look at. First, communication is key. (Adachi can read minds so it would be hard to avoid this takeaway, but it also gets a little spin when Adachi realizes he has to confess his power to Kurosawa.) Second, having a gift is not the same as knowing what to do with it. There are monents when Adachi thinks his power is an unfair advantage, but ultimately it's his strengths as a ~*natural empath*~ that inform his character, compared to Tsuge who is much less graceful with the same ability. Adachi chooses to use his power for compassion in a hundred tiny ways for several other characters, which ties into a third major theme: Never underestimate the impact your actions will have on others. Kurosawa loved Adachi because of a few moments of thoughtless kindness long before the events of the main timeline, and throughout the series small gestures of love or carelessness create opportunities for relationships to grow and strain.

Finally, Cherry Magic cares a lot about the idea that a person's thoughts and desires should only ever be their own. Fujisaki unpacks her desire to be partnered and rejects the notion that she has to find a relationship to please her family. Kurosawa has a massive crush on Adachi but never pressures him into going further, keeping his thoughts to himself (he thinks). Minato really likes to dance. And Adachi is terrified beyond reason that somehow he has abused his power to manipulate Kurosawa into a relationship in a massive breach of trust. (Which it kind of is, but he's fine with it.) So communication is important, but so are self-reflection, and boundaries, and trust, and kindness.

I had a good time, but:

The B-couple, but specifically Tsuge? Hands down the least pleasant part of my viewing experience. I understand how Japanese comedic acting can be very over-the-top, but this guy is doing way too much for the show he's in, and it's very grating. He never looks like anything other than a middle-aged man yelling in his 'funny' scenes, and his character is fairly demure otherwise so it tonally doesn't mesh with the rest of the series. Minato, who is inexplicably attracted to this behavior, has a bulletpoint of a personality that never really comes through, and an arc about following his dreams as a freestyle dancer that falls flat. His actor, and i'm trying to be charitable, never demonstrates any of this character's talent for dance, and the wig(? i hope) they put him in is a trip.

Unfortunately, you have been chopped: Bonus Episode "Tsuge & Minato."

Hope this wasn't too much of a shock! This episode is short and benign enough that i'm actually on the fence about axing it entirely, but it's just a whole episode of B-plot. I watched it specifically as filler between episodes 11 and 12 to build anticipation for the resolution between the characters i, uh, cared about. If you like Tsuge and Minato, this is probably fun and don't let the haters get you down. If you're in a time crunch because there are 50 other shows you're trying to watch and you need to cut corners somewhere, this corner is very cuttable.

Character(s) entitled to financial compensation: N/A. I think everyone here does just fine.

Conclusion: Cherry Magic is a sweet little series that is, with the exception of its second couple, difficult not to enjoy. The central conceit is unique and its impact on the world of the story is written well without being overthought. It's fun to get inside the lead characters' heads and watch them develop, and the minor characters nudge the plot in interesting ways every now and then. This is a show that finds magic in a sea of adult drudgery, wearing its heart firmly on its sleeve. I love it very much. (Also there's a sequel coming. Might be fun?)

In the next installment, hear me gush effusively about possibly my favorite BL i've seen so far, the INIMITABLE, the GOAT, Gaya Sa Pelikula (2020).

[ordinaryschmuck]

Why I (Want to) Love Tangled: The Series/Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure

Salutations random people on the internet who most likely won’t read this. I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

When I heard Disney was making an animated series based on Tangled, acting as a continuation from the original movie, my initial thought was, "Why?"

Sure, Disney is infamous for its unnecessary sequels of the story after happily ever after, with the many, many, many failures that follow suit. Even then, though, most of these continuations were movies that kind of have the potential to tell more of a story. But what more could be said about Tangled? Sorry to spoil a movie that's over ten years old at this point, but by the end of it: Rapunzel lost her golden hair, was reunited with her parents, fell in love, and lived happily ever after. Her losing the golden hair is the most essential part of that list because how can you do a series based on a Disney princess when her most iconic feature is gone? Then I found out that the series forced a way for her hair to come back, and my new initial thought became, "Oh man. This is gonna suck, isn't it?"

Despite the hesitation, I decided to give it a chance anyway. After all, I've been pleasantly surprised before. Things like My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, The Mitchells vs. the Machines, and even The Owl House (yes, really), were shows (and a movie) that I didn't think would be that special. Only to find myself enjoying nearly every minute. So after watching Tangled: The Series/Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure, I can certainly say I was surprised...but it was entirely for the wrong reasons.

And to explain how requires spoilers. So if you haven't checked the series out yet, I highly suggest you do it to form your own opinion. Just keep in mind that it's a bit of a mess, but it can be an enjoyable mess...sometimes...let me explain.

WHAT I LIKED

The Animation/Art Style: The series swapping from 3D to 2D might have been the most brilliant decision anyone could have ever made with this series. Usually, when an animated movie gets turned into a show, the most noticeable downgrade is always the animation. Whether it’s not as detailed or not as fluid, it's always subjective that the movie is better animated than the series. But by switching up the styles, the contrast becomes objective instead. 2D and 3D animation each have their pros and cons, so deciding which one is better is nothing more than a matter of opinion. So by changing the style, Tangled: The Series/Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure avoids getting complaints of being a downgrade from the original movie. It also helps that the art style of the series is really unique.

The best way to describe how the show looks is that it's like a coloring book brought to life. At times, everything looks like it was drawn and colored in with crayons, which sounds like an insult, but in actuality, it's one of the best features of the series. As much as I love most animated shows nowadays, I will admit, they all look a little too similar at times. Then here comes Tangled: The Series/Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure, which tries to incorporate a whole new style that successfully sets it apart from most shows.

As for the animation itself, it's really well-made! It's remarkably expressive when required, while the movements are really fluid during the correct scenes. Sure the fighting can be a little floaty during some action set pieces (yes, those exist here), but the dialogue and comedic moments are really where the series shines with its animation. I may have problems with the series as a whole, but I give credit where credit is due for the perfectly executed effort that I see in every episode in terms of animation.

Rapunzel and Eugene’s relationship: This was not something I was expecting to enjoy from the series. In the movie, Rapunzel and Eugene were fine. They were the typical Disney couple that worked off of each other enough that it was always entertaining, even if it was unbelievable that they fell deeply in love with each other after, like, two days. They weren't bad, but they weren't anything to go crazy over.

But the writers for the series said, "You know what, let's make these two adorable in nearly every scene they're in." And they are!

Even though I don't believe in their relationship in the movie, I fully believe it here. Both characters have a large amount of faith in one another on top of having endless love for their partner. Like how Eugene knew Rapunzel would be fine when taking out an airship or how Rapunzel couldn't bring herself to say a bad thing about Eugene when making Cassandra a sparring dummy of him. It's legitimately pleasant to watch, to the point where I put Rapunzel and Eugene in my top ten list of favorite fictional couples. They're that good to me, and it's one of the reasons why I don't jump on the bandwagon of shipping the two main female characters together. I'm all for LGBTQA+ representation, but give Cassandra her own girlfriend. Rapunzel's taken, and most of my enjoyment of this show comes from her and her man. So, you know, keep things as they are.

Cassandra (Seasons One and Two): Seeing how I've already mentioned her, let's talk about Cassandra, shall we? Because when making a series based on a movie that had only four prominent characters, with two of them being comedic animal sidekicks, you're going to need to introduce more members to the main cast to write more potential stories. And Cassandra, in Seasons One and Two (I'll get to Season Three), is a worthy addition. She acts as a strict straight man (I know the irony) who interacts well with Rapunzel and clashes perfectly with Eugene on occasion. She was passably entertaining in Season One and developed amazingly in Season Two. Her growing frustrations with Rapunzel's actions lead to a slow build-up that made her betrayal heartbreaking but somewhat understandable. And as for the results in that betrayal...yeah, I'll get into that later. For now, I'll just say that Cassandra was a pleasant addition to the main cast, especially when she was a part of the main trio, and she's yet another good surprise that the writers supplied for the series.

The Songs: The songs are...not going to be for everyone. Most of them are passable yet kind of generic, while others sound like they belong on Disney Junior (Looking at you, "Bigger Than That"). But when Tangled: The Series/Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure makes a hit, MAN, it is a home run. Numbers like "Ready As I'll Ever Be" and "Nothing Left to Lose" are sung phenomenally, orchestrated well, and are songs I can listen to on repeat multiple times. And "Waiting in the Wings" is not only something I consider to be the best song in the series, but it's also something I'd place as high up on Disney's best due to how f**king incredible it is. "Waiting in the Wings" is a powerful ballad that manages to be both tragic yet inspiring on top of how well it sums up Cassandra as a character. The writers may not always be on top of their game when it comes to music, but songs like these prove that they know how to earn that Disney name.

And that’s all I have for the likes...Oh boy. That’s not a good thing is it?

WHAT I DISLIKED

It Peaked at Season One: It did. It really did.

Season One felt like the writers had a grip on what type of show they wanted: A slice-of-life series with Rapunzel dealing with the issues of her kingdom with a meager threat of these black rocks growing in the background. It was all cute and well-balanced for the most part, but that all disappears in Season Two. Because now it's sort of about this adventure, but because Tangled: The Series/Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure set itself as a slice-of-life series, there need to be these small-scale stories that intertwine the grand narrative being told. The issue is that the story comes to a grinding halt one too many times as fans are forced to sit through these filler episodes that, while not all of them are bad, still feel like a distraction. And by Season Three, the series does feel more focused while having some slice-of-life episodes added to the ongoing story instead of distracting us from it. But the writing isn't as strong, there are several plot holes in the narrative (how did Rapunzel's sunstone get into her dress?), and there is way too much time going back and forth on Cassandra's morality. They claim that she's a villain while arguing that there might still be some good in her, and they continue this train of thought for nine episodes when it really could have been settled in two. For me, it's a bad sign for a series when the first season is the best one. Because if it's all downhill from there, what's the point of even watching?

It Tries to be Epic: This might have been the worst decision the writers could have made.

Now, here's the thing: I don't mind grand epic tales of adventure and battles against demons. If anything, I'm all for them...when it's appropriate and fits with the tone of the series.

Tangled: The Series/Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure suffers a similar problem Frozen II has, in which the writers felt like a big, life-threatening adventure was the perfect continuation of a meager, personal story about the relationships of characters. It isn't. If anything, it's completely missing the mark about what the original story was about. And sure, sometimes writers can succeed in telling personal stories through grand adventures. Just look at The Owl House and parts of Amphibia. But with those shows, it's established within the first few episodes that action and peril will be a series staple. With Tangled, while there was some action and peril, it's all very subdued compared to how high the stakes got raised in later episodes in the show. Especially in the series finale.

And, I mean, c'mon. You're making Rapunzel an action hero?

Judy Hopps? Yes.

Moana? Maybe.

Raya? Most definitely.

But Rapunzel? The character who’s all about optimism and seeing the best of others. That's the character you're going to morph into a hero that fights against an evil demon laid dormant for years? Did you even watch the original movie? Yeah, sorry, but I just don't buy it.

If you want to tell an epic story that gets the blood pumping for fans addicted to adventure, go for it! See where the wind takes you. But make sure to set that tone as early as possible while also making sure that it fits with the characters. If not, the end result is a series that feels like it's trying to be something it’s not.

Eugene is Kind of an Idiot at Times: It should be noted that Movie-Eugene and Series-Eugene are practically two different characters. In the film, Eugene was more or less the straight man, as he often questions the wackiness in the world around him and keeping Rapunzel grounded in reality. For the series, most of that personality got transferred to Cassandra. Thus making Eugene's new role in the series act as the egotistical imbecile. Sure, he had those moments in the film, but not as frequently, and it really pains me when the writers really lean hard into a minor aspect of his personality. Sometimes there are moments when Eugene acts like his original self. But it's all small scenes that are spread apart with entire episodes where he has half a brain cell. I'm sure some people didn't mind this change to the character, but as someone who adores the movie version of Eugene, I can't help but feel disappointed.

The Villains are the Worst: Now, I don't mean the one-off villains that show up, cause some chaos for a bit, and disappear at the end of the episode. Those are characters with fun personalities, occasionally cool designs, and do their job as villains of the week. It doesn't matter if their motivations are laughably simple, as their purpose is to be enjoyable characters above anything else. So I actually enjoy those villains...it's the ones that act as season-long antagonists that really grind my gears.

The purpose behind these types of foes is to build up how evil they are throughout the season. The issue is that the writers try to give these characters, or at least two of them, a point. To be fair, this can work. Just look at Killmonger from Black Panther and sometimes Karli Morgenthau from The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. You understand and probably even sympathize with the logic and reasoning these characters have. It's just that their actions couldn't be farther from what you would do. The problem with Varian and Cassandra is that they have the motivation, but it's not written suitably for the story.

Cassandra is a whole can of worms I'll get to in a minute, but Varian is someone I can easily discuss for a brief time. Because while I can comprehend his pain for having his father frozen in yellow rock, I don't think turning evil is the best decision to go with that character. Because A. Everything is his fault. He blames Rapunzel for not helping him, but even if she didn't have a crisis to deal with, there was nothing she could have done to stop it. His frustrations are not only unjustified, but given the fact that this wouldn't have happened if he listened to his father in the first place, it feels like him becoming evil is too drastic of a turn. And B. Varian worked much better as a supporting character rather than a primary antagonist. He was just this hopeful, if not a clumsy scientist who wanted to prove himself, who causes minor catastrophes due to not thinking ahead. Turning a character like Varian into a villain is a bit of a misstep because if the guy acts hilariously incompetent as a good guy, it makes little sense to have him be intelligent and ten steps ahead of Rapunzel when being evil. If he were to become more serious and careful when helping the rest of the main cast, I'd consider that character progression done properly. But becoming a villain is just an overreaction.

However, none of that compares with my issues with the main antagonist of the series: Zhan Tiri. This goes back to my problems with the series making itself too epic. Because if Zhan Tiri existed in any other show, I probably wouldn't have any problem with her. She's built up well throughout all three seasons and is kind of threatening at times. But she doesn't belong in a series based on a movie that dealt with a small, personal issue where it wasn't even the character who killed the villain in the end. It was her love interest and animal sidekick. Even if Zhan Tiri works well as a character, the fact that it doesn't feel like she belongs in the show makes her too distracting to enjoy. And that's why these villains suck. If not poorly written, they don't belong in a series that should focus on small-scale issues. And if you can functionally write an antagonist that appears for only one episode but flounder with ones that show up in several, well, that's just embarrassing.

Cassandra (Season 3): OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH BOY, do I have some words to express with this character. Like with Movie-Eugene and Series-Eugene, Cassandra from Seasons One and Two is frustratingly different from the psychotic IDIOT from Season Three. Basically, just take the issues I have with Varian, multiply them by ten, add them with some bafflingly stupid decisions, and you still wouldn't get how much Season Three-Cassandra frustrates me!

First off, her motivation...what the f**k were the writers thinking? The big reason why Cassandra betrays Rapunzel and motivates all of her misdeeds was that Cassandra's mother was Mother Gothal...EXPLAIN THAT LOGIC TO ME?! Because Cassandra should know what type of woman Mother Gothal was. She should know what Mother Gothal did to Rapunzel in the first eighteen years of her life. So how is Cassandra being abandoned by Gothal the central motivator to cut ties with Rapunzel, who is probably an even bigger victim in this scenario!? Seriously, Rapunzel was cut off from the rest of the world and treated as an unknowing prisoner because she was beneficial to Gothal. Cassandra was adopted into a household with mutual love and got to actually live her life. In no way does it make sense for her to be angry at Rapunzel.

Nor does it make sense that the writers try to play it off as a good thing in the song "Crossing the Line!" Sure, it sounds nice, but thematically, it gives across the opposite feelings that the audience should have. Because if Cassandra cutting ties with Rapunzel is meant to be tragic and awful, why is the music suggesting it's the best possible thing that's ever happened for the character? If you like the song, fine, but even you have to admit that it's thematic nonsense.

But, sure. Cassandra's evil now, and she considers it a good thing. Whatever. I'll take it as long as it leads to good stories...but here's the thing: In the penultimate episode before the three-part series finale, Cassandra asks a question. A question I would have never expected her to ask, despite everything that has happened in the last season. A question that was so baffling, I had to legitimately pause the episode to process the fact that she asked something so stupid. Because Cassandra, the character who is intelligent and grounded in reality, asked, "Am I the bad guy?"

I was honestly shocked to find out she was shocked! How, in the flying, everlasting, cock-a-doodle-doodling F**K does a person like her not pick up that maybe, just maybe, she isn't the hero in this story!? Call me crazy, but endangering the lives of people you once called friends and family, dressing in black, AND HAVING A GIANT EVIL-LOOKING TOWER MADE OUT OF F**KING SPIKES aren't qualities I would give to a hero!

If Cassandra was like Thanos, a character so wrapped up in his ego that he can't even notice how evil he is, I would understand. But she doesn't have an ego. Anger, yes. But for the most part, her personality is based on having logic and reasoning. So turning her into a villain and having her unaware that she's a villain is an act of lunacy that I am incapable of understanding. I don't know who's idea this was, but whoever is to blame...you've got issues.

>Sighs<...This series isn't good, is it?

IN CONCLUSION

I like the animation and some of the characters...but that's not enough. Tangled: The Series/Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure is a mess of a show that tries to do too much for a story that should have so little. Meaning that it's a D+ for me. I want to enjoy it and give it a higher grade, especially with how much I hear people praise this series. And if you do enjoy it, all the power to you. Your opinions are valid, even if I highly disagree with them. Because for me, this is a show that I won't get myself tangled up in again in the future.

[palimpsessed]

So @captain-aralias​ did one of these and invited other writers to do the same. And I wasn't really going to because it feels a bit late now and also I've done quite a few other year in review posts for 2020. But then I got to thinking that it would be really nice to have one of these for each year to look back on and compare, which convinced me. So, here we go!

If you’re a writer, I’d also encourage you to steal this. Tag me on your post so I can see your thoughts! 🥰

List of Complete Fics for 2020 1. At the Top of a Tower, With You- General, 900 words 2. Use Your Words- Teen, 16k 3. A Man of Letters, or Five Times Baz Retreats and the One Time He Doesn’t- Teen, 54k 4. To the Manor Borne- Teen, 43k

Total: 4 fics, 113k words

Every one of these fics was written for an event, which, realistically, is the only reason they got finished. I have so many ideas I'm working on all at once, and I came into fandom with a focus on making art, so to actually find the motivation to sit down and write/finish/post a fic was entirely deadline based. And it's a technique I'm sure I will also employ in 2021.

Best/Worst Title?

Well, I've mentioned a few times before that I usually have a title before I have much in the way of a fic concept. I don't really dislike any of the my titles, because they all did exactly what I needed them to do, which was help me focus on what I wanted to accomplish in the fic. Comparatively speaking, though, I can answer this.

Best: Use Your Words - succinct, idiomatic, a book quote/motif that also has the potential to be a spell, does what it says on the tin, is probably what all of us are constantly yelling at Baz and Simon to do throughout the books and the fic itself

(Honorable mention to A Man of Letters because that title forms a perfect heart shape when viewed on mobile on AO3. ❤️)

Worst: At the Top of a Tower, With You - this is also a quote and it fits the fic perfectly, but it is a bit of a mouthful and it has a comma in the middle of it, which, while I love commas, feels a bit off-putting in terms of a title - also, it's always kind of bothered me that it's a Baz WS quote used for a CO-era Lucy POV

Best/worst summary?

Again, I don't really dislike any of my summaries.

Best:

To the Manor Borne: The gang decides to spend Christmas together at Pitch Manor. Romance, hijinks, and holiday cheer ensue.

Anything that lets me use the word hijinks is always good! - it's short and sweet - it does a fair job of setting up the premise for the fic and giving highlights, without giving anything away

Worst: A Man of Letters

I'm not going to include this one because it's so long, I had to cut down the version I posted on tumblr to fit in the AO3 field, which is really why I rank it below my others - it effectively sets up the world of Simon and Baz in Regency England prior to where the story starts, but it is prohibitively long - and it's set up, not summary, so it also loses points for not doing what it purports to do - I could have said exactly what this fic was in one sentence: "Simon and Baz meet at several Regency-appropriate venues over the course of a London season and reflect on their acquaintance in letters", but instead I did the full book jacket version because it was more interesting to me.

Best/Worst First Line?

Oh, this is interesting. I can honestly say that I have no idea where this will go. Going to pull up my docs and find out! Okay, since I only have four fics to consider, and I'm feeling split, I'm going to do two for each. I feel good about my words, but I will say that half of my first lines actually provide information, and the other half are incomplete thoughts. Those were stylistic decisions I made, but when taken alone, it does somewhat limit the effectivness of a sentence when it can't stand without the rest of the paragraph. Perhaps that decision will lure readers in for more?

Best:

In the end, we wind up at Pitch Manor. (To the Manor Borne)

I know that you won't be surprised when I tell you that I do not like writing letters. (A Man of Letters)

Kind of interesting that these both contain key words from the titles 🤔

Worst:

I'm not sure how I'm supposed to do this. (Use Your Words)

I love how the title seems to be answering Baz's question when the two are put together like this 😂

Strange that it should end here, where it all started. (At the Top of a Tower, With You)

The title also seems to complete the first line in this one, too. I'm learning about my writing as this goes on, so that's cool!

Best/Worst Last Line?

Hmm. Okay, again, no idea. Also, a little leery of including last lines for anyone who hasn't read the fics they're from yet. (Tho I guess it's unlikely those people would be reading this😆) But let's see what we've got.

Use Your Words and A Man of Letters have very similar final lines, and both are somewhat spoilery.

Best: The ending of A Man of Letters felt risky to me, in the way that it is formatted and changes tone from the rest of the story. It was something that happened as I wrote it and I loved it. I had no idea if readers would like it, if they would feel like it worked as an ending, but I felt strongly enough about it to let the entire fic hinge on that and I think it really paid off. So, without giving you the actual last line, which is only one word, I'm going to say that one is my best ending.

Worst:

To the Manor Borne: "Carry on, Simon."

It's not bad, it's just not mine.

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, fewer than you thought, or about what you predicted?

I did not set out to write any fics in 2020. I was supposed to be taking a break from writing. I've been an aspiring novelist for half my life now, and have been going through major ups and downs with my writing. I decided I needed to re-evaluate and figure out if writing was something that was even going to be able to make me happy anymore. The answer is: YES! Just…not original fiction. At the moment. I'm happiest when I can write for the sake of writing and not have to DO something with that writing. Which is why discovering fan fiction was AMAZING!!!! 🥰🥰🥰

To actually answer the question, yes, I wrote more than I thought I would. I also wrote exactly as much as I thought I would, simply because these were all things I signed up for (with the exception of my Countdown fic, but I committed to it as if it were something that required a sign up).

I have a lot more ideas for 2021, but I don't know how many of them will come to fruition. I'm not putting pressure on myself to have to do anything beyond what I sign up for again, because it did work out so well for me starting off.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

I mean, the pairing and the fandom were in no way a surprise. 😆 They're my only ones, so those were both a given. The genre is also not surprising.

What's your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest?

A Man of Letters, without any hesitation. I adore it so much. It's the kind of fic I know I will unabashedly sit down to read over and over, even if I'm the one who wrote it. I had one reader to please and it was ME. By far, my most self-indulgent fic.

Okay, NOW your most popular story?

That depends on the metric.

To the Manor Borne leads in Comments (107), Kudos (153), and Hits (1992), and Use Your Words leads in Bookmarks (26).

But since To the Manor Borne is top in 3 out of 4 metrics, I'll say that one.

Story most upderappreciated by the universe?

I mean, the least popular by a wide margin is At the Top of a Tower, With You, but I don't know if I'd call it underappreciated. It's short, it's angsty, it's got a very unusual style, it's Lucy POV, it's the first fic I wrote and posted. I didn't really go into it with high performance expectations. I'm proud of it, I just didn't expect it to be popular. It would be nice if more people read it, but I'm not broken up over it.

Story that could have been better?

I'm not even going to touch this one. Everything can always be improved upon, but if I go down that route, nothing will ever be done. This is one of the things I have come to appreciate about traditional art versus digital. With traditional, there is only so much you can do before something is permanent and you have to live with it. It's an exercise in letting go and acceptance. Digital is flashier and more flexible, but I could (and have) spend months on a single piece and never feel satisfied, never stop tweaking. I think that's also the reason I started to hate my novels.

Sexiest story?

Based purely on overall vibes, I find the understated tension of the Regency the most appealing, so I'm going to say A Man of Letters. I didn't actually stray into sex territory in any of my fics (though Simon and Baz have had sex by the time To the Manor Borne starts, and refer to it, and probably do it "offscreen"), but A Man of Letters is the one that feels sexiest to me. Lots of thirsting!Baz and feral!Simon and sensual hand touching (how risqué!) - and YEARNING. That, to me, is the sexiest vibe of all. So. Much. Yearning.

Saddest story?

At the Top of a Tower, With You - for this one, I tagged "angst without plot" and I stand by that. It's Lucy losing her connection to Simon at the end of CO and trying to find a way to reconcile herself to leaving him alone again. I gave it as much of a hopeful bent as I could, with the refrain of Baz's spoken "love" to cling to, but it's very sad.

Most fun?

To the Manor Borne - All of my fics have their fair share of angst, but this one also has some good, silly, holiday fluff thrown in. Since I wrote it for the Countdown, each chapter was based on a different prompt, which led to this one going in all sorts of directions no single fic probably ever should. Plus, it has the most Shepard, and Shepard always makes things more fun.

Story with the single sweetest moment?

Oh my god. I don't know. No, never mind. I do. It's To the Manor Borne, but it's split between the two gift giving scenes, the Constellations and Secret Santa/Gift Giving prompts. These were private moments between Simon and Baz, sharing themselves with each other, being vulnerable, and communicating. It's the gifts they give each other, yes, but it's more so the reasons they chose those gifts, and how they show part of themselves and share their love for each other, through those gifts, that had me in tears writing those two scenes. I'm super proud of them.

Hardest story to write?

Use Your Words - it was written for an exchange and that made it really hard to write it knowing there was this pressure of making my gift-ee happy with the fic. I'm proud of it, and they really liked it, but the anxiety was too much for me.

Easiest/most fun story to write?

A Man of Letters - if there is a fic better suited to me as a writer, I haven't met it. I started writing after reading Pride and Prejudice in high school, so I started out writing Regency and I spent years and years and years of my life obsessed. When I transferred into college, an administrator I had never met before heard my name during orientation and said, "Oh, you're the Austen scholar." (It is a small, private college, and I was a transfer, so the pool of students was even smaller. But still. Many years later, I'm clearly not over it.) I also did my senior thesis on an epistolary novel (Frances Burney’s Evelina), and my English Lit emphasis was for that time period. So, I felt like I had been preparing for this fic my entire adult life. 😂

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

I don't think so. I tend to let my writing be dictated by the characters, so I'm always following their lead. Sometimes they'll do or say something that surprises me and takes me down a route I didn't necessarily foresee, but I don't think there was ever a point where one of them did something that made me rethink who they are as a character.

Most overdue story?

I will say A Man of Letters, since that one felt like a culmination of my seventeen-year-old self's wildest writing dreams. But I should probably say the Scooby Doo AU I still haven't managed to finish, because that one has been a WIP since I joined the fandom. Oops. (I'm hoping when I look over this in a year, I can feel smug that it's finally done.)

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

Writing at all was a risk for me! And writing fan fic for the very first time! Writing an entire fic told only through letters. And then ending it in a completely different style from the rest of the fic. Doing a multi-chaptered fic for the Countdown, using a different prompt for each chapter, and publishing a chapter every single day for thirty days (with the exception of two days that had art). Signing up for fandom events in the first place!

What I learned from taking risks in my writing is the same thing I learned when I took risks in my art this year. I have a much better appreciation for what I've done when I push myself, I feel better about the end product, and I like it longer. I think it's really good for me to challenge myself creatively.

This year's theme and the story that demonstrates it most?

Oh boy. Um. Therapy! Both Use Your Words and To the Manor Borne had their big HEA moments built around sending Simon and Baz to therapy. I don't think that's likely to change for future fics, either. I feel like therapy as the theme for 2020 seems very fitting. (Also, I think I keep sending the boys to therapy because I'm trying to get myself there…)

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

Just to write what I want to write, have fun, not put any pressure on myself, and to take risks in my writing and my art because it will help me to grow.

[allforhader]

I’m in Love with An Uptown Girl

Aaron Conners x (F) Reader

Requested By: @sunflosver

Warnings: Langauge, Smut

I hate the subway sometimes. This shit is fucking crowded 24/7.

Aaron held onto the top railing as the subway takes forever to get to his stop. He tends to people watch since New York has quite the diverse crowd. When the next stop came he watches this girl give her seat up for the old lady, nice to know not every New Yorker is an asshole. He watches her stumble as the subway moves before she could grab any rail but once she did she laughs at herself.

She sees the bright side of things at least...

As the subway continues on its route, Aaron checked his phone for any emails regarding an upcoming award ceremony when he stops to listen to the humming. He laughs a bit to himself before moving closer when the subway stopped again as the humming came from the girl he was...really just admiring.

“Uptown girl...she’s been living in her uptown world...” Y/N sways singing softly just mouthing the next line when she looked up and screamed startling herself and Aaron.

“Sorry—didn’t mean to...”

“No sorry. You just weren’t there before” Y/N laughs a bit kind of embarrassed she yelled in the subway train knowing a lot of people are pissed about their day. “Sorry”

“It’s okay, just. Yeah. No I’m sorry for startling you. Didn’t mean to” Aaron states catching the upper railing when the train moved again. “Just like the song you are listening to”

“Oh...you saw me lip syncing...”

“And humming a bit-“

“To Uptown Girl” Y/N smiles nervously laughing. “Yeah that’s a bit embarrassing”

“No no! Not at all...it’s honestly my favorite song”

“Really? I honestly thought I was the only one” Y/N smiles up at Aaron. “Because yknow. People listen to...well annoying stuff these days”

“Hey they all aren’t bad just-“

“The oldies are my favorite” The two said in unison as it sparked something between the two.

“Hey I was gonna grab some dinner...do you want to tag along? Talk more about the good songs of the 80s?”

“Yeah I’d like that, but first...you wanna tell me what your name is...Uptown Girl?” Aaron smiles catching a laugh from Y/N.

“It’s Y/N, and you?”

“Aaron”

“Hmm...” Y/N looks away smiling. “I like that name”

Aaron continues to have a smile on his face enjoying the small moment that’s going to have plenty of more as the night goes on.

The two found themselves in Central Park as Y/N watches Aaron enjoy what they got. She laughs at his over-reactions over the food but she thought it was cute a little.

“How the fuck did I not know about The Halal Guys sooner? I’ve lived here for most of my life” Aaron laughs continuing to eat his lamb over rice.

“Stick with me and you’ll know about all the good food joints” Y/N smiles taking a bite of one of her falafel patties from her platter.

“Let me guess...you’re a food blogger and you review all the spots in New York”

“Somethings gotta get me out of the underground”

“The fuck that’s supposed to mean?” Aaron laughs taking a sip of his beer as Y/N smiles showing the magazine cover on her phone of Aaron with Lebron. “Shit. I hated that photo shoot by the way”

“I bet. Besides. To answer the underground thing, and then the magazine cover...I work for Admission and Records for the general hospital and that’s in the basement level. At least for the hospital in Manhattan.” Y/N states as she sets her beer down. “We get magazines with docs on them all the time. I just had a weird suspicion and had to confirm it”

“Well...not to sound weird. But do you like what you see?” Aaron laughs making Y/N let one out ending with a smile.

“I do, I really do” Y/N smiles watching Aaron stand up from the bench holding his hand out in front of her.

“Wanna get out of here?”

Y/N looks at his hand for a moment before smiling and taking it into hers.

“Lead the way doc”

Uptown girl

After a short cab ride, and a very silent elevator ride. Y/N pushes herself against Aaron feeling his hands rest on the small of her back. He presses his lips against hers without any hesitation.

She's been living in her uptown world

I bet she's never had a backstreet guy

The two stumbled in the hallway laughing as they continued to kiss one another not caring if any neighbor steps out to see them. Aaron suddenly picked Y/N up pinning her against his door feeling her wrap her legs around his waist and arms around his neck. She admires him for a moment before going back to what they were doing.

I bet her mama never told her why

During their make out against the door, Y/N parts from Aaron reaching into his back pocket for his keys. Aaron immediately took his chance pressing his lips against her neck as she struggles to unlock the door without looking.

“Aaron I can’t—-Oh” Y/N stopped herself feeling her face flush when Aaron started to bite leaving his mark. “A-Ah...” she tried to contain herself when Aaron started to bite and trail his hands up her back under her shirt.

I'm gonna try for an uptown girl

She's been living in her white bread world

Y/N finally got the door unlocked as Aaron held her waist pulling her close so she can get the door open without falling back. Once they were in his apartment she moved her legs back to the floor feeling him let go. Y/N immediately kicked off her shoes taking off her jacket as Aaron closed the door. He stood there watching Y/N pull her shirt off over her head tossing it to the side spotting the man staring at her.

As long as anyone with hot blood can

“Going to continue standing there looking pretty? Or” Y/N smirks walking closer to Aaron tugging at his pants by the belt loops. “are you going to help me out of my jeans?” she whispers into his ear before moving her hands up his shirt.

“God aren’t you a wild one” Aaron laughs taking his belt off as he also kicked off his shoes.

And now she's looking for a downtown man

That's what I am

Y/N closes the space between them kissing Aaron once again. He couldn’t stop thinking about how soft her lips were, soon giving off a small moan to her biting his bottom lip.

The two quickly made their way into the bedroom as Aaron lifted Y/N laying her on the bed towering her. He unbuttoned her jeans taking them off along with her panties before looking Y/N dead in the eye making her confused.

“Aaron I-“ Y/N gasps when Aaron inserted two fingers and began pumping slowly gradually getting faster making her arch her back off the bed moaning.

Aaron enjoying himself felt Y/N’s hands end up on the back of his head pulling him down to kiss her even deeper than before. He continued to pump his fingers making her moan in his mouth.

And when she knows

What she wants from her time

Y/N carefully pushes him back blushing heavily feeling her body heat up.

“Are you going...to take me...or what?” She breathes heavily letting out a semi loud gasp Aaron pulled his fingers out standing to his feet on the edge of the bed.

Y/N props herself up by her elbows watching Aaron take off his pants and briefs. She felt her heart race hearing her heart pound in her ears.

“Holy...” She states to the size of his dick looking at him in the eyes. “Do you have a license to wield that weapon?”

Aaron laughs a bit climbing over her again spreading her legs aligning himself at her entrance. Y/N wraps her arms around his neck bringing him down a bit looking him in the eye before bringing her head back when he pushes himself in.

Holy shit...

And when she wakes up

And makes up her mind

After their moment, Y/N laid in the bed staring at the ceiling looking over at Aaron who was still asleep. She propped herself up covering herself in the blanket looking at Aaron once again telling herself this isn’t one of those situations. But something else told her otherwise...fuck her brain. Slipping out of the bed was the easy part, getting dressed in the dark was the hardest knowing most of her clothes are at the front door. Maneuvering in the dark was a whole other challenge as Y/N slammed her knee into the dresser biting her inner cheek to keep herself from yelling. She looks back to see if he woke and he didn’t, finally making her way out.

When Aaron finally woke up he immediately reached over feeling no one beside him. He frowns sitting up looking over to the empty space.

“...I wish she stayed..”

She'll see I'm not so tough

Just because

The end of the week came around and it would’ve been nice having a date to an award ceremony but Aaron couldn’t get Y/N out of his head and would’ve wanted to go with her than any other woman. He steps into the event seeing people enjoy one another’s company introducing themselves. As Aaron mingles with a few other doctors and administration for a few hospitals, he spots someone in the corner of his eye immediately walking over.

“Ah! Dr. Conners!” The lovely old lady caught the man heading over in her direction. “Have you met Y/F/N Y/L/N? She’s in admissions at general in Manhattan. The poor girl busted her knee a week ago and I was just telling her you’re in orthopedics. Maybe you can check it out for the girl’s sake.” She smiles at Aaron as he looked at Y/N with worry but she always kept a smile.

“I told you I’m fine Ms. Henderson” Y/N smiles as the old lady grabbed Aaron’s arm pulling him down a little.

“She’s a lovely girl Aaron. You should...what do the younger crowds say...hit that?”

Y/N snorts hearing that as she turns away to contain her laugh. Aaron smiles a bit patting the old lady’s hand gently.

“Ms. Henderson if you’ll excuse us?”

“Oh of course!” She smiles leaving the two alone.

As Y/N composed herself she smiles at Aaron as he rests his hand on her cheek. She eases into it smiling.

“I was upset when you left...”

“Mm. I knew I should’ve stayed...just thought it was yknow...a heat of the moment kind of fling”

“Oh Y/N...if I’m being honest about my feelings here. You already snuck your way into my heart” Aaron smiles catching a settle blush forming on Y/N’s cheeks.

“I’m glad the feeling is mutual...” Y/N smiles feeling Aaron wrap his arm around her waist bringing her in as she kisses him lovingly.

When they parted Aaron looked Y/N up and down admiring the dress she was in. She smiles before pushing his hand away laughing.

“Don’t pull up my dress”

“She did say you busted your knee...”

“There was just bruising. Let’s just say...you have to move your dresser” Y/N smiles making Aaron laugh a bit bringing her close again.

“What do you say to...Let’s get out of here?” Aaron smiles catching that beautiful smile of hers once again.

“Babe, this is a ceremony where you are also getting an award. It would be rude to leave”

“You’re right, but will you sit with me?”

“Do you even have to ask?” Y/N smiles laughing before kissing his cheek.

Aaron smiles happily taking her hand into his and heading over to where he has to sit for this event. He couldn’t help but keep smiling the entire time, glad she didn’t disappear and came back.

I’m in love with an uptown girl

[ye4gerismarchives]

an: i really do feel bad for not being able to reach requests before xmas. so please have a chapter from my brand new leopika story.

warning: n/a

Swardini City, Swardini

September 2001

Kurapika stepped off the bus feeling like a completely new person. Maybe that was a little cliché but that's how he felt. Even though he carried his Kurta heritage in his heart and would always be welcomed back to the clan, Kurapika felt like he was letting go of it. He didn't see anyone wearing any kind of cultural attire here.

It was funny to him though. Swardini City was supposed to be one of the most diverse areas in the world. Kurapika expected people to be singing and dancing or something! All there was were people cussing other people, women in suits on the phone, and nosy tourists. The Kurta shook his head. Maybe he'd find more diversity and embrace his own culture once he lived here a bit. Right now, his focus was on surviving the city.

The twenty-year-old had applied for a daycare job in Swardini City. When he told the clan about his desire to leave, they questioned his career choices and how he was going to live. At first, Kurapika had no idea. But he remembered that a lot of people trusted him with their kids. "I'll be a caretaker," he blurted. The elder, his parents, and a few clansmen thought amongst themselves and agreed. They put together some money for him because they knew Kurapika needed a place to stay. As they did that, Kurapika started searching for jobs. After weeks of exploring online, he finally found Swardini City Angels. It had good reviews and from the photos, it seemed like a good environment. Kurapika immediately applied. He did an interview and met the owner, Melody. She was a short woman, with gray like skin and her hair was silver. Her face looked young and happy. They clicked instantly. Melody gave him the job on the spot and asked him to come for a tour later on just to make sure he still wanted to job.

Kurapika was here now for his interview. The daycare looked sad on the outside but once you walked in, it exploded with color. The Kurta was greeted by Gel, the long, darker-toned woman who handled the front desk. "You're here for the tour right?" she asks kindly. Kurapika nods yes. "Alright, let me get your tour guide." Gel gets up from her seat at the desk and goes down a hallway. Three minutes later she comes back with this long, tan, and incredibly handsome man. Kurapika gasps quietly. He quickly closes his small mouth when the handsome man stops in front of him.

"Hey, I'm Leorio. I'm an infant teacher. I'm also going to show you around," he says cheerfully. Leorio puts out a hand for Kurapika to shake. Instead of shaking it, Kurapika just holds it. Leorio smiles awkwardly at the smaller boy and finally forces his hand out of his grip. "Let me show you around. It shouldn't be too long." Leorio's cheerful tone remains. Kurapika nods, still mesmerized by this man. Leorio gives him one awkward look before turning on his foot. The look managed to get Kurapika out of his daze. He tried not to show it but inside he was freaking out. Control yourself, Kurapika, he thought to himself.

"So, here's the lounge. It isn't too big because most of the teachers eat with their kids. There aren't a lot of infant teachers, so the few of us hang out in here," Leorio starts. He's pointing to the first door of the hallway they had just entered. Leorio turns to the left and goes down another hallway. "This hallway has the preschool classes. There are only three. We won't go to all of them but we'll look at your future class," Leorio explains. He flashes Kurapika a smile. Kurapika smiles back, unsure of what to say. Leorio goes down the hallway and knocks on the door right of the hallway. Within a few seconds, the door is opened. "Baise, how are you?"

Baise was the teaching assistant of Kurapika's future (or possible) class. She had always worn shoes that would boost her height. The woman had magenta-colored hair that was tied back. "I'm fine, Leorio. I assume this is the future teacher?" Leorio nods. Kurapika nods with him. "I'm Kurapika. It's nice to meet you," he says simply. Baise lets out a little 'mhm' before moving out of the way so the two could enter.

The minute Kurapika stepped into the classroom, he was met with "oooh"'s from multiple children sitting on one big carpet. His face reddened slightly. "Oh, you just be Kurapika!" Kurapika turned his attention to a heavily pregnant woman sitting in front of the children. She had shoulder-length hair and wore a pink sundress. She attempted to get up but Leorio started to freak out. "Oh no! Pyon sit down. You're pregnant, please!" She rolled her eyes at his comment and sighed. "I would introduce myself but Leorio's big mouth covered that for us, huh?" She laughed as Leorio muttered a sorry. Pyon turns to her class. "Hey, kids. This is Mr. Kurapika. He most likely going to be your new teacher," she says. The kids gasp and whisper small things like "really?" and "huh?". "Unfortunately, I have to stop working for a bit because of my baby. Mr. Kurapika, will be taking over for me. But I promise to come visit," Pyon continues. She looks back at Kurapika, "Why don't you introduce yourself?" Kurapika hesitated for a moment. He was probably going to stay with these kids for a while, it'd be best.

"I'm Kurapika-."

"We know!" one kid exclaimed.

The Kurta was taken aback by the comment but he laughed it off. "You're right," he says, "I'm from the Luskos Province. I loved there for all 20 years of my life and I'm so excited to start living here and to get to know everyone here." Kurapika decided to leave it at that. He didn't want to bring up anything about Kurta Clan. There was an awkward silence. Pyon clasped her hands, ending it. "Thank you, Mr. Kurapika. I'm sure the kids can't wait to work with you either. It's probably best for you to finish your tour." Kurapika nods and looks back at Leorio, who was opening the door. He turns back to the class and flashes a kind smile. "Thank you for having me here today. There's a good chance I'll see you again." Maybe Kurapika would take the job. Everyone keeps referring to him as the "future teacher". He couldn't let those kids down.

Leorio and Kurapika said their goodbyes to Baise and were soon standing outside of the classroom. "They seem nice," Kurapika soon says. Leorio lets out a chuckle before responding, "Yeah, they're so sweet and adorable." The taller boy starts walking out of the hallway and goes down the one they were originally in. He stops at these three doors. Two of them were across from each other and one was in front of him. "I work in these two rooms," Leorio says, pointing to the rooms across from each other. "If you need anything, I'll most likely be in these two rooms." Kurapika took a peek in the room on his left. Seven toddler-babies were playing on a carpet. He lets out an "awe". Leorio grins proudly as if they were his own kids. "Yeah, they're awesome!"

"They must be since their caretaker is so so sweet," Kurapika said in a sing-song voice. Leorio winks at him before placing his palm in the back door- the only door he didn't go over. "This leads to the playground. You'll get a schedule and you'll know when to take them." Leorio flashes another mesmerizing smile at Kurapika. Kurapika attempts to smile back but he can't stop thinking about how attractive Leorio is. The two don't say anything for a while. "Should I walk you out?" Leorio asks. The smile remains on his face, however, it's awkward again. Kurapika nods for like the hundredth time. "Yes please."

The walk up the hallway was silent. Why are you so weird? You see one hit guy and - ugh! The Kurta thought to himself. Gel wasn't at the front desk anymore, leaving Leorio and Kurapika in the lobby. Kurapika walks towards the entrance of the building, but he's forgetting something.

He turns around and looks at Leorio. "I'll see you in a week. I'm taking the job."

[bmongmong]

Chapter 10 - Change

Blue pill or red pill - Jungkook

Description: You're a young girl, who's a little bit introverted and afraid to be under everybody's eyes. You only have your best friend, but it's ok for you. You don't want to be popular and believe in minimal things. One day you meet a guy. Or two?

Jungkook x Reader

The imagines I used are not mine Credit to the owners

Jungkook's pov

It's been a few days now and I haven't seen y/n since the date night. I'm not mad at her. After all it's not the first time that my brother steals a girl from me. It actually happens all the time.

But this one was different. She made me feel some type of emotions, that I didn't even think they could exist.

That hurt me a lot. If she only would have told me.

Even now, I'm willing to listen to her. But I don't think I will believe her. It's not believing in her or no. I guess it's something else. But I don't know how to describe it.

It's really sad these days since y/n doesn't come to school and Rosé told me that she doesn't answer her text messages. She's planning on visiting her one of these days, without telling her. I think for now, is better this way. I think, it' would be too awkward if the two of us meet right away. We both need some time.

Honestly, I don't think I can face her.

Also my brother, Jungwook, seems different. Usually after stealing my girl, he would tease me for forever. But after that morning in class, when Rosé was that angry, he didn't do anything to me.

Perhaps because I don't leave my room when I'm at home and when I'm in class I'm always by myself in a corner, like the beginning of school.

I think Jungwook noticed that this time it was different, for every single one of us. In the past I've never really had feelings towards those girls. But this time I really fell in love with y/n. That's why it hurts more than ever.

I'm in my room now, and as I keep thinking about my life, I hear a knock on the door.

"Come in" I say.

I see Jungwook entering the room.

"You don't have to knock on the door. It's also your room" I say, now looking at the book I'm holding. I didn't even realize that for all this time I was reading a book, while thinking about all that mess.

"I prepared a sandwich. Here" my brother says putting that thing on my desk. And leaves right after, closing the door silently.

"What's wrong with him?" I question myself. He's strange. He's never done stuff for me. He also has never talked to me, if not for school stuff.

I slowly took the sandwich he made for me and look at what's inside, to see if he may poisoned it or not. It looks like a regular one, with a bit of salad, tuna and mayonnaise. I'm a bit hesitant at first, but eventually end up giving a big bite on it. it's actually good!

I smile a bit at my brother little present. I know it's only a sandwich, but it's actually the first gift I've ever received from him.

We don't hate each other. We just disagree with everything.

Another day has passed and now it's Thursday morning.

Y/n didn't show up at school today. Again. I think she won't come until next week at this point.

Now we're waiting for the teacher to come inside the classroom, but I start to feel a bit hot. I try to make some wind with my hands in front of my face, but I keep sweating. I suddenly choke on my spit and start coughing hard.

"Here" I hear Jungwook voice. I turn to face him and he's handing me a bottle of water. I quickly grab it and start drinking right away, to make myself calm down and be able to breath properly.

"T-Thanks..." I say surprised by his actions and hands the bottle back to him.

"you can keep it" he says, now looking at his notebook.

Everyone is looking at me and Jungwook shocked. My jaw drops. What? It's the first time ever he talked to me in front of our classmates. I guess everyone else is surprised about this, as I see their widened eyes and mouths opened.

I try not to think too much about this and keep doing the lesson.

As the class ends I feel someone calling my name:

"Jungkook, I didn't understand this part of the lesson. Can you explain it to me real quick?" it's Jungwook again. he doesn't look at me. His eyes are focused on his notes, in particular on a specific line at which he's pointing is finger at. I nod, but before explaining it to me, I look up worried, to see everyone looking at us again.

What's happening to him? Since when did he start studying?

Before leaving the classroom, I grip on Jimin's arm, hinting him that I needed to talk to him.

"Do you perhaps know what happened to my brother?" I ask a bit unsure of his possible answer.

"I honestly don't know Jungkook. Both me and Rosé were so shocked, when we saw his behavior today. I don't really know what got into him. But I guess it's better now, that he gives you some respect" he says patting my shoulder and leaves with his girlfriend.

Now I'm in my room, reviewing today's lesson, when...

"Jungkook!" I hear my brother screaming from downstairs "Come here please". Please? Did he really say 'please'? What is happening again.

As I make my way on the steps I see him on the couch, holding a pen and looking at a book, which is laying on his knees.

"Oh you're here!" he says enthusiastic "Come fast"

I quickly run to him and see him trying to solve a problem. As I look at the description, I notice that it's the homework that our professor gave to us. He's really doing homework?

"Did you hit your head or something?" I ask him confused.

"If you don't want to help me, you can go" he says to me. I slowly sit next to him and start explaining everything.

Once I'm done with my explanation, I hear him saying:

"Thanks brother" and going upstairs in our room. He's really strange. Not that I don't like this, but I think that there's some reason behind his behavior.

In a blink of an eye, it's Friday morning. I'm changing into my clothes and getting ready to go to school. After preparing all my stuff, I go downstairs to eat breakfast and I find Jungwook eating.

"I prepared some pancakes for both of us. Want some?" he asks me. I'm a bit hesitant but eventually end up sitting in front of him and trying the dish he prepared.

"It's really good!" I say widening my eyes and looking at him. And at that moment I freeze.

Is he really smiling at me? I mean, he smiled even before, but this time it's not one of his evil smiles or grins. I'm literally speechless. Did I really do something to him? I don't know if to be happy of afraid.

"Good, now I'll change into my clothes. I'll meet you at school" and with that he goes into his room.

I'm literally shocked.

Now I'm in class. It has already passed an hour and y/n hasn't shown up yet. This makes me feel sad a bit.

"Jungkook" I hear Rosé calling my name, so I turn to face her "I forgot to tell you that yesterday I went to y/n's house, to check on her" I can feel my eyes lighting up as I hear that name.

"How is she?" I ask a bit concerned.

"She seemed ok. She was wearing very baggy clothes. She said it was because she wanted to be comfortable around the house. But from her face I could notice that she lost a bit of weight. A part from, that she seemed fine"

I'm a bit revealed to hear that actually. I mean, after all I still love her. This feeling won't go away, but on the other hand I don't want to go back to her after knowing that she kissed my brother. Everybody says that it was Jungwook who first kissed her, but my brother didn't say so. After all there were only him and y/n at that moment, so anybody doesn't really know how things went. Except for Jungwook and y/n.

Who should I trust? My brother? The one who made my youth like hell? Or Y/n? the one who stole my heart and right after broke it, lying to me?

As I think about these questions, I notice that the professor is testing my brother on the problem I explained him yesterday. I don't know why, but I want him to get a good mark. As he writes on the white board, it seems that he got my explanation and that he understood the problem.

"Great Jungwook! Now you can go to you seat" says the professor after a while.

All eyes are glued on Jungwook, as he walks towards his chair and sits. I also look at him and I see him forming a kiss with his lips and looking at me.

What was that? Everybody are now looking at me, and I'm blushing really hard. Like what the hell? Am I really blushing because my brother just sent me a flying kiss? What is happening really.

Now I'm in my room, with my brother. I'm at my desk studying and he's laying down on his bed, watching some videos with his phone. I don't know why, but I really like this sensation. The fact that we're both in the same room and I don't have to be nervous.

"AHAHAHHAHAHHAH" I hear him laughing hard "JUNGKOOK COME HERE AHAHAHAH"

I turn around and see him holding his belly and crying with laughter. I stand up and sit next to him, but I feel his arm around my shoulder and he makes me lay next to him, still with his arm around me.

"Look!" he says smiling like crazy. He shows me a really funny video. As much as I try to hold in my laughter, I explode and laugh with him.

I feel so happy right now, it's the first time I laugh like this with my brother. I don't want this moment to end.

We ended up watching funny videos all day long and laughing together, him still with his arm around me.

By the end of the day I look at him and realize how much time we've wasted over some useless and random fights.

And that's how we ended our day: laughing like crazy and holding each other.

A couple of days has passed and now it's Monday morning. I spent the rest of the weekend having fun with my brother, watching funny videos and studying together. I still don't know why he's changed so drastically, but I don't want to know. I'm afraid that if I ask him, something bad will happen. So I'll leave things like this and enjoy these precious moments.

Another class just started everyone looks shocked as I ask Jungwook to go shopping with me today. And they freeze even more after they hear my brother saying yes to me.

After classes, we headed to buy some clothes right away. I asked Jungkook for some advices. I wanted to try some new styles.

Now I'm in the changing room trying on other clothes, when I hear my brother saying:

"Wow Jungkook. You have a really nice body!"

I turn around seeing him looking at my body and quickly cover my self in embarrassment, looking away blushing. He insists to see my body and once I give in, he keeps complimenting me more. He's talking about how good my abs look and about my pumped chest and arms. It's not that I do much, I just some random exercises when I'm alone.

"Great, now you have a whole new wardrobe!" Jungwook says holding a couple of bags full of new clothes.

"Jungwook" I say firmly "Why did you change all of a sudden? Not that I don't like the situation right now, but I'm really curious. Please be honest" as I ask him that question I see his big smile becoming small.

"It's just..." he says looking down "I just think that we had no reason to fight over stupid things" he the continues with a sweet smile. It doesn't seem like he's faking it or forcing it. It rather seems like it's the truth and that there's something else, but I don't want to ruin our relationship, so I won't ask until he's fully ready.

Now we're back home and I'm putting my new clothes in my closet. Jungwook is helping me and in the meantime and he's singing a sweet and romantic song. The words he's singing reminds me of y/n. It hurts a little. No, very much. It really hurts like hell.

Why do I still feel this way towards her, even after what she did to me? Or maybe she didn't mean to cause all of this chaos. She lied to me, I get it, but for some reason, I've already forgiven her. Unconsciously.

Me and my brother decided to watch a horror movie. We're not afraid of these kind of movies, but I have to be honest, we both really hate jump-scares. Speaking of that, one of that comes right after and we both jump in surprise.

I find him hugging me tight and I freeze, without knowing what to do. His head is now resting on my chest and his arms are around my body. after a couple of seconds he slowly looks up at me and we lock eyes. It's actually really awkward but funny at the same time. I burst out laughing.

"AHAHAHAHAHAH THE STRONG JUNGWOOK IS AFRAID OF A MISERABLE HORROR MOVIE" I say laughing and teasing him.

"That's not true!" he shouts back at me, making me flinch and become serious.

We're looking at each other. Him mad because of my teasing and me scared that I may ruined our relationship, until...

"Pff" I see him laughing a bit and then we both burst out laughing again and holding each other.

The days went by pretty fast and I really enjoyed my time with my brother. We really became close and talked about everything. Y/n didn't show up once and now I really miss her so much. I think this feelings towards her, will never go away. A part from that, things were going great, until Friday.

We're in class right now and I'm talking to Jungwook, explaining him another math problem.

"You need to do this, in order to solve it" I say.

"Ohh I see"

Now I'm used to everyone staring at us. I mean, as long as I'm happy with him, nothing else matters, right? I still think that there's something more behind his sudden change , but I don't really want to make him angry or sad, so I just stick with this and keep my doubt.

As the class ends, I start to think about y/n, again. maybe I should go and visit her. Or maybe she doesn't want to see me. Right. Wait, what? She's the one who lied to me, so it should be me the one that doesn't want to see her. But why do I feel this way? Is she really the right one for me?

I kept questioning myself the whole day, until 4 PM.

"Jungkook!" I hear my brother calling my name "I'm going to hang out with Jimin and Rosé. Do you want to come?" he says smiling brightly.

"No, I think I'll stay at home today. I'm really tired, I think I'll sleep a little"

"Oh..." I see him a bit sad "ok, make sure to rest well!" he then says, showing me a sweet smile.

He left, and now I'm alone in my room. I stayed in bed all day, thinking about my brother and y/n.

Now it's 8 PM and it's really dark outside. My brother will come home at any moment, so I'll prepare something to eat for both of us. I grab my phone and head downstairs. I open up the fridge and look what's inside. I see a bag with some steak in. As I take it in my hands, I remember the date with y/n and when I fed her a piece of the same steak. I smile a little at the memory, but then I feel a tear leaving my eyes. It keeps hurting even more than before. I really like her. No, I love her. Everything she does.

I hear my phone ringing and as I take it out I rub my eyes, making my tears disappear and then look at the screen. It's my brother.

"Jungkook, come to the hospital! Now!" he shouts. He seems out of breath, like if he ran.

"Why? What happened? Are you ok?" I ask really worried.

"I'm ok" he says and I sight in relief "But Y/n is not"