#I'm almost done with my 5th book now!!

[owlwinter8]

My first bookbind!!! This is a back-to-back bind of call it peace by simaetha and fractal by Ias. I fell in love with how these two time loop fics foil each other, so I bound them together as a quarto! Parts of this bind are super janky but dang if I'm not proud of it anyway <3 Cover inspo: Infinite Day, Penabranca, Screenprint, 2018

[riiviir]

hey guys so I just started reading Flatland by Edwin A. Abbott and OMG AHSBNSBSBSNSNBSHZHSHDBFHGGHFHGRJ2KSHSBSNSK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THINKING ABOUT THE RELATIVITY BETWEEN DIMENSIONS!!!!!!

[avastrasposts]

Big Sky Country - ch. 10

This chapter was a long time coming and I've been struggling with inspiration to write the final part of this story. There is only the epilogue left after this, but I can't say when I'll have it done. But, at least, I'm wrapping up Frankie and Aisling's story now, leaving them in a happy place with a lot of future ahead of them.

Plot: In Big Sky Country we meet a cowboy version of Frankie as he returns to New York to patch things up with his "maybe girlfriend", but he also makes a connection with another woman, who makes this lost cowboy feel welcome in her Brooklyn bar. life doesn't follow straight paths.

Cowboy!Frankie x OFC Aisling

Warnings: None, this is all fluff

Word count: 4.6k

“Fish!” 

The loud whoop could be heard through the closed windows of the truck as the engine went quiet. 

“What the fuck are they doing here?” Frankie said, shaking his head while Aisling gave him a confused look.

“Do you know them?” she asked and Frankie nodded, pushing the door open. 

“Yeah, my friends from the army, but I don’t know why they’re here,” he said and got out as a tall blonde man bounded down the steps.

“Fish!” he yelled, a big grin on his face, but as Aisling opened the door on her side and stepped out, a look of confusion flashed across his face before he smiled wide at Frankie again. He was on him in a couple of long steps and Aisling couldn’t help smiling as he effortlessly picked up Frankie in a bear hug. 

“Benny, you’re fucking squashing me,” Frankie laughed, patting the man on the back to get him to let up on his bone crushing grip. Behind him two other men had stepped off the porch, another blonde man almost as tall and big as the first, but older, and a shorter dark haired man who caught Aisling’s eye and smiled at her. 

“Hi, I’m Santiago,” he said, coming over and putting his hand out to her. His handshake was firm and warm, she could feel the calluses on his palm, and it reminded her of Frankie. 

“Aisling, nice to meet you,” she replied as Frankie got a hug from the other blonde man and Benny came over with a bright, curious smile with his hand out. 

“Hi, I’m Benny,” he grinned down at her and she had a moment to think he really was the biggest man she’d seen until the other blonde man offered his hand and introduced himself as Will. It was like standing in front of a wall of men. The three of them, especially the blondes, wide as barn doors, all built in the same broad shouldered form as Frankie. He came over to her side just as she introduced herself to Benny and Will and got a big hug from the man called Santiago. 

“Good to see you, Pope,” he mumbled as the other man clapped him on the back. 

Frankie stepped back and stood next to Aisling, his hands deep in his pockets and looking utterly uncomfortable and confused under the brim of his Stetson. 

“Love the cowboy hat, Fish,” Benny chuckled, swiping it off his head and swapping his own cap for it, tilting the brim at Frankie with a two fingered “Howdy.” 

��Fuck off, Benny,” Frankie sighed with a smirk, “What are you guys even doing here?” 

“You invited us, Fish,” Santiago said, his eyebrows furrowing, “I sent you the details two days ago.” 

“Yeah, for the 15th, Pope,” Frankie replied but Will immediately shook his head. 

“No, the 5th, I booked it,” he said and Frankie pulled out his phone, getting Pope’s message out and seeing that the date was indeed the 5th. 

“Fuck….” he sighed, “I messed up the dates, I’m sorry.” 

“Yeah, we were kinda confused when you didn’t pick up the phone, but that explains it,” Will said, “We met Herb down at the ranch and he told us you were out on the trail today.” 

Frankie shook his head, his face deeply apologetic, “I’m really sorry, I wasn’t focused when I read your mail, Pope. I…I had other things on my mind,” he stuttered and no one missed his quick glance at Aisling who was starting to feel uncomfortable. 

“Yeah, we can see that, Fish,” Pope smiled at Aisling who felt her cheeks heat up as all four men were suddenly looking at her. 

“Sorry, I kinda showed up unexpectedly a couple of days ago,” she said with a grimace, looking over at Frankie. 

“So, how’d you two-” 

“Fish, show us your cabin and let’s get the grill going, we brought food and beer,” Will interrupted Benny, stepping between him and Aisling and grabbing hold of Frankie’s arm, propelling him towards the house. Pope stepped round them and easily hooked an arm around Aisling’s shoulders and got her walking towards the house with him, leaving Benny to catch up. 

“It’s nice to meet you, good to see that Frankie’s got some company out here,” Santiago smiled, “let’s see if we can dig out that grill, I think I saw around the side earlier. 

Thankful for Santiago’s distraction, Aisling helped him set it up while Benny hauled a couple of coolers from the back of their rental truck. Setting up a camping table next to the BBQ, they soon had it going just as Will and Frankie returned outside with plates and utensils for the BBQ. 

“Any outdoor seating, Fish?” Santiago asked and Frankie shook his head. 

“No, just the bench on the porch and a couple of deck chairs, stairs’ll have to do.” 

“Alright, man, sounds good. Cheers!” Santiago held his beer up to the group and everyone followed suit, clinking bottles and taking long swigs. Frankie caught Aisling’s eyes over the brim of his bottle and she gave him a small smile. He knew he’d have to field a lot of questions from the guys and he wished he’d had a moment to talk to her before they started asking. 

“Frankie, before I forget,” Aisling suddenly said, “Can you help me get my bag down from the closet, I couldn’t reach it this morning and I’ve got my sweater in it.” 

Frankie looked confused for a second while Aisling nodded towards the cabin and left the guys standing by the BBQ. Then it clicked. 

“Yeah, sure. Give me a second, guys, be right back.” 

He hurried after Aisling and followed her into the cabin. He knew her bag was on the floor of his bedroom, and not on top of any closet, and now he followed her in there.

“I’m sorry about this, Ash,” he said as soon as he’d closed the door behind them, “I had no idea they’d turn up today.” 

“It’s fine, ‘Fish’,” she smiled at him, “They seem really nice. I just wanted to ask you what we tell them? Do they know we met in Brooklyn?” 

Frankie shook his head as his hand flew up to rub his neck while he grimaced at her with a pained expression. 

“No, I haven’t talked to them in a while. Pope knows Eva and I broke up, I talked to him just after I got back from New York. But I didn’t tell him about you.” 

“Which one is Pope?” Aisling asked, taking his hand from his neck and threading her fingers through his.

“Santiago, Pope’s his call sign, like mine’s Catfish,” Frankie explained, “Will is Ironhead, Benny is just Benny.” 

He sighed and wrapped his arm around her waist, leaning his forehead against hers, “I wanna tell them everything, if you’re ok with that. Or at least, that we met in New York, that we’re….” Frankie trailed off, giving a small shrug before he continued, “I mean, we didn’t talk about this yet, what we are? Are we dating?”

“I’d say we are, Fish,” Aisling replied with a small smile, “And…I don’t know, they’ll figure out I’m staying with you so just tell them I came out here to stay with you for a bit? We don’t have to tell them all the details about New York.” 

“Pope knows I came back here from New York after Eva and I broke up, but he doesn’t know about the abortion. I’ll tell him eventually, but not now,” Frankie said, shaking his head. He knew he wanted all three of them to know the whole story eventually, so that they understood why he wasn’t with Eva anymore. But it had been such a long time since all four of them had been together, tonight shouldn’t be about him. “I don’t want to bring it down, or make it weird, just make it…easy? And I don’t want them to think I made some sort of rash decision with you and that this isn’t real, you know? I want them to know you and like you and it’s just been so long and-” 

Aisling cupped her hands around his cheeks, stroking her thumbs over the scruffy bear, “Frankie, it’s nothing to worry about,” she could see the anxiety in his eyes as he went through fifty different scenarios in just a few seconds, his head starting to reel, “If they ask, we just tell them we met in Brooklyn while you were there, and now I’m here to stay with you for a while and see where it leads, how about that?” 

Frankie took a deep breath and closed his eyes, letting his mind calm down as Aisling continued to stroke his cheeks, the soft touch grounding him. 

“Yeah, sounds good, sounds like a plan,” he sighed, opening is eyes and looking down at her, “What the fuck would I do without you, Ash?” he asked, giving her a small smile. 

“Without me all these questions wouldn’t be popping up,” she smiled back, leaning in and giving him a kiss, “But I don’t mind fielding them, I’ve been a bartender in New York, three ex-military guys is a piece of cake. C’mon, let’s get some BBQ going,” she grinned at him and put her hand in his again.

She still had a firm grip on it as they returned to the front porch, the smell of burning coal already drifting from the grill. Will glanced up and noticed, his mouth pulling up in a quick smile while Benny hauled the cooler of beers to the edge of the porch stairs. 

“The coals will need some time to get nice and hot,” Will said, giving the BBQ a final look before he came over to the stairs and sat down on the bottom one, stretching out his long legs as Aisling and Frankie sat down too. Frankie leaned back as he scratched through his sweaty curls and hooked his arm around her waist. Benny passed them both beers and Pope lifted his, clinking it with Frankie’s. 

“Salud, el pececito,” he said with a grin, “Good to see you again, man. And it’s really nice to meet you Aisling.” 

“Don’t fucking call me that,” Frankie huffed with a chuckle, lifting his bottle to Pope too, “And same, it’s good to have you here.” 

They all raised their bottles and echoed the sentiment, Ashling joining in and getting a warm smile from Will. She already liked him, he seemed stable and quiet, and in tune with what the other three men were feeling. 

“What does that mean?” she asked, “El pececito?” 

“Little fish!” Pope declared with a grin while Frankie sighed. Aisling laughed and patted his head, she was sitting a step above him and he’d put his arm around her as he leaned back. 

“So ‘fish sticks’ isn’t so bad then, huh, Fishy?” she teased him as he groaned, knowing what was coming. 

Benny nearly choked on his beer as he snorted, spraying beer over his shoes as Pope and Will laughed, Will also reaching up and slapping his brother’s back. 

“Oh shit, beer totally just came out of my nose but it was worth it,” Benny coughed, wiping his grinning face, “‘Fish sticks’? I’m using that!” 

“Only Ash is allowed to call me that, Benny,” Frankie sighed as he playfully poked Aisling, “You are in so much trouble, cariño.” 

She winked at Frankie as Benny continued to laugh, “I like her, Fish, good catch.” 

“Any more fish references and you’re getting kicked out,” Frankie said with a mock serious tone, “Besides, I’ve heard them all before you know.” 

“Yeah, you need to update your repertoire,” Pope nodded, “No repeating decade old jokes.” 

Benny just shook his head, flipping Pope the finger while sipping his beer again. 

“So you guys met in New York?” Will asked, his tone casual but Aisling had the feeling he was subtly starting the interrogation part of the conversation, “Are you from there?” His clear blue eyes were friendly as he looked at her and she didn’t mind his questions. 

“Yes, on both accounts. I grew up in Brooklyn and I met Frankie when he walked into the bar I was working at, looking very much like a lost cowboy.” 

“I didn’t look that much like a cowboy, and I wasn’t that lost,” Frankie protested, “I just had some time to kill and your bar looked nice.” 

“You were wearing cowboy boots and a belt buckle the size of Texas,” she pointed out, smiling down at him as he chuckled. 

“Yeah, fair point,” he admitted, scratching his beard as he thought back to the day he’d walked into the bar. He’d been pretty lost, not physically lost, but mentally. He could still remember the feeling he had in his body as he walked down the street to Eva’s apartment, the long hours on the bus in his limbs, the worry in his head about how to handle the prospect of a child with her, how to live in New York. The temporary relief he’d felt in Aisling’s company from the start had been unexpected but flooded him and calmed in a way he’d never felt before. He looked up at her sitting next to him now on the stairs of his cabin, something he’d thought was an impossible dream just two days ago, and something loosened his chest. She continued telling the guys the story about their first meeting, and he moved himself just a little bit closer, tightening his arm around her hips. She felt it and dropped her hand to his shoulder, giving it a small squeeze in response as she smiled at his friends.

“You guys should’ve seen his face when I told him the price of the beer he’d just had, he almost fell off the stool,” she grinned, giving his shoulder another squeeze as she looked down at him with warm eyes. 

The guys laughed as Frankie shook his head in protest, but he was laughing too. 

“This little minx sold me the most expensive beer on the menu, claimed it was her favorite and then charged me fourteen fifty without even blinking,” he said, giving Aisling’s side a teasing poke as she snorted, “And then she had the balls to ask me if I wanted another one.” 

“It was a great beer!” 

“Yeah, but not worth fourteen fifty,” Frankie said, his brown eyes almost disappearing as he grinned up at her and she grabbed his chin between her thumb and fore finger, tugging at it lightly as she gave his nose a quick peck. 

“Totally worth it, I tell you, since you got me too.” 

Frankie looked as if he was mulling that over for a couple of seconds before he slipped his hand behind her neck and pulled her closer for a kiss. 

“Yeah, ok, worth it,” he smiled against her lips. 

“Enough,” Pope laughed, “this beer,” he waved his bottle at the two of them, “might not be fourteen fifty but I’m trying to keep it down, you know what I’m saying?” 

Aisling felt her cheeks heat up as Frankie pulled back a little, but his hand moved down her leg and he was still holding her close, his arm around her waist. 

“How’s ranch life then, for a New Yorker?” Will asked, taking a swig of his beer, the same easy tone to his questions. 

“I’ve only been here two days, but it’s good,” Aisling smiled at him, “Frankie gave me riding lessons yesterday and today we went out on the trail up into the mountains, it’s really beautiful and I haven’t gotten over how big and open it is out here, it’s just endless.” 

“Better than New York?” Pope asked, and something in his tone made Frankie look over at him, but the dark haired man just quirked his eyebrow back at him as Aisling nodded, she could guess what he meant too and she smiled at him. 

“So much better, on all accounts,” she said, looking over at Frankie, “Frankie showed me photos of this place before I came and I thought it was beautiful then too, but nothing compares to seeing it first hand. It’s just…” she shook her head like she couldn’t find the words to describe it, “I don’t even know, it just feels so much better, the air, the sky, the surroundings...” 

“The company,” Benny butted in with a grin and Aisling laughed. 

“Yeah, the company too,” she said and ruffled the top of Frankie’s head as he gave her leg a squeeze. 

Aisling looked over at the other three men again and grimaced, wrinkling her nose, “I…I guess it’s kinda weird for you guys to come here and find some strange woman in Frankie’s life,” she said, glancing at Santiago before meeting Will’s steady gaze, “You guys don’t know me and you’ve never heard of me, and I understand if you wonder what the fuck this is and who I am…” she trailed off but Will nodded. 

“I didn’t expect Frankie to have a new girlfriend, and I think we were all surprised to meet you, but it’s not a bad thing,” he reassured her, “We’ve know Frankie for a very long time, and I think we can all see the difference in him today compared to when we last saw him back in Florida. Whatever you’re doing, it seems to be working.” 

“It is,” Frankie cut in, “When things with Eva didn’t work out, the last thing I needed was to meet someone new, but with Aisling, it’s been easy from the start, well….” he stopped himself and looked at Aisling who had raised her eyebrows with a small smirk, “Ok, maybe not easy, outside circumstances made it difficult, but I never had to think about if you were right or not.” 

Aisling smiled at him, “You know I felt the same,” she said and wrapped her arms around Frankie, giving him a big kiss on his cheek as he grinned and the rest of the guys chuckled. 

Will shifted in his seat and took a sip off his beer while he looked at the two of them, seeming to consider his next words. 

“You look happy, Fish, really happy,” he said, pausing and looking between the two of them with a thoughtful look and seemed to change his mind about what he was going to say next as Pope glanced over at him. Instead he drank from his beer again instead, a small furrow between his eyebrows. 

But Frankie guessed what Will was thinking about, “She knows about my addiction, the PTSD, everything. I even told her about Colombia,” Frankie said, “I had to tell her, I need to go into this without any secrets.” 

Aisling nodded next to him, “This, between us, is…really new, but it’s good. It’s really good and I’m not scared by Frankie’s past, but I’m not going into it blind, I know he’s got a lot to work on.” 

“And you’re still clean, Fish?” Will asked. 

“945 days,” Frankie said without needing to think about it, pulling a small bronze chip from his pocket, “Never again.” 

“That’s awesome, Fish!” Benny exclaimed, reaching over and giving him a clap on the back, “You worked hard at it, it’s great to see something good coming into your life too.”  

“Thanks, Ben,” Frankie replied, rubbing his shoulder, “just a bit too fucking hard.” 

“Welcome to the mayhem, Aisling,” Pope laughed, “Never accept hugs from Benny.” 

“Fuck off,” Benny shot back but he couldn’t resist flexing his thick arms, showing off his physique. 

“I hope you’ve got a trip up on the trail with the horses planned for us too, Fish,” Will said, “we brought the gear for it.” 

“Yeah, of course, I planned with Herb after Pope called. We can go tomorrow if you’re all up for it?” Frankie replied, “You think you can handle another day in the saddle, Ash?” 

“Yeah, if we go slow. I’d love to go up there again,” she nodded and Frankie smiled, giving her hip a squeeze. 

“How about camping up there?” Benny asked, excitement showing on his face but Will just sighed and Pope cursed. 

“You want to go camping? Haven’t we all spent enough nights in tents?” he asked as Will pushed to his feet to check on the BBQ. 

“Yeah, seriously, Benny, I’ve done that enough,” he sighed, lining up the hot dogs and burger patties on the grill, “No more. 

“C’mon, I bet Aisling’s never been camping,” Benny pushed, pointing at Ash who was nodding. 

“I haven’t actually, and Frankie was gonna plan a camping trip for me, so maybe we can all go?” She looked at Frankie and then over at Pope and Will. Pope groaned and Will chuckled. 

“I’m not saying no to Fish’s girlfriend on the first night, I guess we’re going camping, Pope.” 

“Awesome,” Benny grinned, giving Aisling a quick nudge, “You’ll love it, we’ll get a big fire going, I make the best s’mores!”

The evening went on with the same theme, the guys were joking around, poking fun at each other and re-telling stories for Aisling’s benefit, their loud laughter echoed around the surrounding countryside as darkness fell. She sat tucked in under Frankie’s arm on the porch swing, Pope on the other side, while Frankie rocked the three of them back and forth. She looked over at him as his eyes disappeared in his face, doubled over with laughter from Benny’s story. He was telling them about a date he’d been on last month that had started with him bringing his date lilies, which she turned out to be allergic too, and ended when he brought her to a steakhouse, only to find out she was vegan.  

“I think I could’ve saved it after the lilies, I got her allergy tablets on the way to the restaurant, but the vegan thing….” he shook his head as the rest of them laughed, “you should’ve seen her face when we pulled up to the place and there was a big bull’s head above the door.” Benny made a grimace that sent them all into laughter again and next to her Aisling her Frankie almost choked as he took a sip from his beer. He winked at her as she patted his back, looking the most relaxed she’d ever seen him. It was easy to see that hanging out with old friends, sharing stories and just easy laughter, was doing him a lot more good than he probably realized.  

As the evening began to wind down, plans were made for the camping, the guys would go into Big Sky first thing in the morning for supplies while Frankie got the gear on the ranch ready. Aisling decided she needed some better clothes for camping so she’d join them too. Frankie shot her a worried look when she said that and Pope laughed. 

“Frankie’s scared we’ll tell you all the embarrassing stories if you go alone with us,” he chuckled, “don’t worry, Fish, we’ll save that for the campfire.” 

“Very helpful, thanks, Pope,” Frankie replied, beginning to stack the plates as he rolled his eyes, behind his back Pope winked at Aisling, “We should get a move on though, early start tomorrow to get all the gear ready.” 

It took a while longer, but eventually the three guys piled into their rented car and headed back to the ranch. Aisling yawned widely as Frankie locked the door to the cabin behind them and flicked off the kitchen light. She waited for him at the door to the bathroom and wrapped her arms around his waist. 

“You’ve got really great friends,” she said and Frankie smiled, nodding in agreement as he walked her backwards towards the counter, his arms on her shoulders. 

“Yeah, they’re good guys,” he said, “it was great seeing them, it wasn’t as weird as I thought it’d be.” 

“You’ve got people around you who care about you, Frankie, but you seem to be pretty good at forgetting that sometimes,” Aisling said in a soft voice as she caressed his back, lightly scratching as he hummed in agreement. 

“You’re not the first one to tell me that,” he admitted, “Herb has told me many times too, but I get too much in my head and think they’re better off without me, or that they don’t want me around while I’m a mess.” 

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re  dumb ass, Frankie,” she scoffed with a smile as she tugged at his chin, “a total dumb ass sometimes.”

She heaved herself up on the counter next to the sink and grabbed her toothbrush. 

“Gee, thanks,” Frankie snorted, but he was smiling too, “and you’re not the first person to call me a dumb ass, but hearing it from my girlfriend is always very heartwarming.” 

“Just making sure you’re aware, pass the tooth paste, please,” she replied, leaning forward as handed her the tube, and giving him a kiss on the cheek, “and I like it when you call me your girlfriend.” 

“I noticed,” he smiled, “it made your cheeks go all pink when I did it tonight, I’m gonna have to use it more often.” 

“If you do, I won’t call  you ‘fish sticks’ in front of Benny again,” she smiled and started brushing her teeth as Frankie rolled his eyes with exaggeration at her. 

“I will never hear the end of that, you have no idea. These guys do not forget. Gathering information for black mailing is literally part of our training for special ops.” 

Aisling grinned around her toothbrush and Frankie gave her forehead a peck before he began brushing his own teeth.

“What was that for?” she asked, tilting her head back to stop the toothpaste from escaping her mouth. 

“Yorrkuut,” Frankie slurred and Aisling giggled and rinsed her mouth, spitting in the sink. 

“No idea what you just said.” 

Frankie spat too, “You’re cute,” he repeated with a smile as Aisling slid off the counter. 

“Not as cute as you ‘Fish sticks’, see you in the bedroom.” 

Frankie gave her butt a quick swat as she slipped out of the bathroom, he could hear her giggling as she rummaged around in her bag next to the bed. He put away his toothbrush and grabbed the mouthwash as he looked at himself in the mirror. The man who faced him looked different, he was smiling widely, and even though the lines around his eyes were still there, his patchy beard changing to gray faster than he’d like, he looked brighter and happier. It was a change that had come in just two days and he knew it was because he was starting to see a future a lot different from the one he’d envisioned less than a week ago. And he felt different, he could feel it in his chest, in his stomach, and above all, in his head. It was all calmer, steadier, and he felt level in a way he hadn’t in a very long time. It wasn’t just a maybe now, it was starting to become reality, a reality he could trust in to be more long term even if there was work to be done. 

He rubbed his hand over his jaw as he rinsed the mouthwash around his teeth, studying himself; dark curls that were getting long, the gray at his temples, deep lines on his forehead, the faint scar on his left cheek and all the thoughts he could see rolling in his head. He spat out the mouthwash and inhaled deeply, still looking at himself, still calm. There was no flare of panic at thinking about the future, no fear. Just a steady confidence that he could do this.

You’ve got this, Morales, you can handle it. Whatever ‘it’ is, you can handle it because you got this far and she believes in you and so do your friends. 

He gave himself a crooked smile in the mirror, and flicked off the light, making his way down to the bedroom and Aisling waiting for him.

Tag list: @harriedandharassed @inept-the-magnificent@sheepdogchick3@readingiskeepingmegoing@noisynightmarepoetry@survivingandenduring @vabeachazn@amyispxnk@oberynslady @amyispxnk @thewiigers @lady-bess @missladym1981@peppermintfury@typewriter83 @anoverwhelmingdin @vabeachazn

[iwannascreameurekaa]

A giant list of fics in the making

Being written to POST

Junior Year

Chapter 15 and on. I'm trying to figure out to get to the end of the school year in that fic.

To Storm or Fire, They both Will Fall

Valgrace in Tartarus fic. First chapter is almost fully written. It's going to have about 40 chapters total and I want to write the whole thing out before I post anything about it so it might take a while sorry!

Where Art Thou, Emilio?

Romeo and Juliet but it's valgrace! Almost want to fully write this before I post anything so it might take even longer because I cannot for the life of me find an easily accessible and readable translation of the play :(

A fic about valgrace first kiss (not titled yet) based off a tumblr post I have been unable to find :(

Basically about valgrace trying to have their first kiss but Leo keeps burning Jason's lips 

Sequel fic to Realization, is it You? 

Qinter fic but this one is a time skip to the end of the tenth book and it's winter perspective 

Back To Life

My valgrace angst series that has two works so far and I'm working on more!

Being written but unable to post 

Use your body

I have the 4th chapter done. I am in agony that I can't post on the fic. 5th chapter is halfway done and there's supposed to be about 11/12 chapters in total and most of them are half written already. Can't promise that anything will be posted on this fic any time soon I'm trying to work it out! Again I'm very sorry.

Two solangelo one shots that go together (smut) ofc

First one is called "an apple a day keeps the doctor bent over and moaning for me" and the second one has no title but it contains one of my fav tropes which it the aphrodisiacs so yippie!! Same at use your body, I don't know when these will be posted and the first one isn't even done and the second is barely worked on anyways so...

Random stuff that might be posted if I ever get them done

Fun-Dip!

A cheesy valgrace kiss fic about Leo having a fundip flavored chapstick. Silly and unserious. It's been in my drafts since may and is barely halfway done. I have no motivation to finish or worn on it right now but I might be possessed who knows.

Will Solace on the Argo II rewrite

No title for this yet. First chapter is less than a thousands words written right now. And that's the only thing I have written too 😭😭 rough outline for it and idk if I'll ever finish it tbh. 

Fics that I need to update and am trying to update but idk what to write

I Don't Know Who You Are but I Love You 

YALL I PROMISE IM TRYING TO WRITE ANOTHER STUPID CHAPTER. I'm dying. Last time I update it was APRIL... my bad guys... um and it has reached 14,000 hits since then and I wanted to post a celebration chapter but I had no motivation. Ughhhhrhhwsiyfiwdh

Girl Alone (titled I Am Something a while ago)

I'm thinking about writing another chapter but I'm not allowed to post anything with sh in it rn and that's kinda the whole plot of girl alone so... yeah... I just don't wanna write something that I'm gonna barely enjoy writing and not even be able to enjoy posting it either it just makes no sense to me sorry 

Olympus

You bitches have been asking for another chapter of this for over a YEAR it's insane and I am grateful for it. I am currently rewriting the first three chapters cause I freaking HATE how I used to write and also like it sucked?? How do y'all enjoy this shitty writing dude I was so bad at writing smut 😭 anyways idk when they'll be updated and idk when a 4th chapter will come out but I'm always thinking about it 

The Soul I Hold

Eeehhhh I lost motivation for this. I always get little scenes in my head about what I want in this fic but I never know how to connect them so I gave up. I will probably pick this fic up again and finish it one day but these days I have ahead of me are not those days. 

When I Die, I'll Let Go

I lost motivation for this one too. I have so so many ideas for this but I have no idea how to get them into words that make sense so I'm just going to keep making playlists for it until I get the spark back 

[lightthewaybackhome]

Watership Down by Richard Adams My rating: 5 of 5 stars 2024: I completely missed that last year was my 30th anniversary of when I first read this wonderful book. I will say that reading it yet again this year, I continue to have the same reaction: tears and loneliness when I finish. This book is like getting to go home and then having to leave over and over and over. A couple of new things this year: First, I decided that I'm going to alternate each year between the audiobook and the paperback. The years I read HP I'm going to use the audio book. Second, I somehow missed that Adams served in WW2 in the past, but always felt like he must have based on the way he wrote the rabbits. Lo and behold, it's in the introduction and I feel like an idiot. He did serve in WW2. You can really feel it in the book. Third, I was struck by the end when they listened to the doe tell a story about El-ahrairah and Rabscuttle and it's Hazel and Fiver's story. They had been woven into El-ahrairah's myth. For some reason that really stood out to me as something exquisitely beautiful. I'll miss my friends until next September. 2023: my goal was to read this book as quickly as possible, just really focus and soak it in. Man, I love this book. Every time I read it, I love it even more. The warrior story, Hobbit, Englishness of it all. It's just so good. 2022: Much like Lord of the Rings and Band of Brothers, this book feels like coming home. It's turned into one of my coziest reads and feels like very old friends. Each time I read it now, I'm struck by the WW2/Hobbit feel of it. The free rabbits stand up to the power-hungry tyrant and succeeding. Then, making life better for everyone. I love this book. 2021 re-read: finishing this on a cold, wet, lat November evening was perfect. This is the first time in years that I've read the book instead of doing an audio book. It took me a while to read it not in the narrators's voice, which made the reading slow going. Once I adjusted, I was fine. I love this book more every time I read it. It's such a perfect blend of fairy-tale, horror, nature documentary, and English warriors. I don't know why I'm always surprised by how hobbitish it is. The whole book is a bunch of Hobbits. Also, this time I was able to translate Bigwig's insult of Woundwart almost subconsciously. I just started laughing. I had to look one word up, but yeah, I just translated the Lapine into English. Again, just like reading Harry Potter, I don't understand how anyone who has read this book is buying into the idea that we can give up freedoms for safety without it becoming tyranny. It's never for the greater good. Love this book. Love it. ----- Third read through, so probably 4th or 5th time I've read this book. There were beautiful scenes that really stood out sharply, and I giggled at the creative cussing. But really, I just love everything about this book. ---- I just finished this book again as part of my Annual Autumn Reading. I love this book so much. I think I love it cause it's like reading a whole book just about hobbits. This is one of those books I love because I hate finishing it. I hate it. It just, I just cry and cry because it's like all my friends have kept running without me. ---- A beautiful story. probably one of my top five favorite books. Parts of it remind me of Lord of the Rings while others remind me of Band of Brothers. It has that very British Country feel that I love along with the mixture of happy and sadness, youth and old age, and then Just a hint of war. Beautifully done. View all my reviews

[silent0utspace]

Rant about warriors for @jestersdlc

Long under cut

1/idk how many

So, I'm going to start with the first bunch of books for this one.

In Warriors, there are four clans: Shadowclan, Thunderclan, Windclan, and Riverclan.

There are also Loners, Rouges, and Kittypets. Loners are peaceful cats that aren't a part of a clan and don't have any anger toward the clans. Rouges are similar but are very hostile toward clan cats. Kittypets, however, are simple housecats.

Kittypets, examples being Firestar(his Kittypet name was Rusty) and Cloudtail(Firestar's nephew, didn't have a kittypet name), can be accepted into clans, although a rare occurrence. Firestar is the main character, and Coudtail is an atheist, so yeah.

Speaking of religion, there are two places the cats will go when they die. Starclan, the equivalent to heaven, or the Dark Forest, which is equal to hell. Only medicine cats and special main characters can have dreams of one of these two places, where they can communicate with cats there on any regular night. However, at the Moonstone or Moonpool (big stone/pond that reflects the moons light almost fully), any cat can communicate with starclan(typically).

Some notable cats from the first bunch of groups include Scourge, a Rouge leader of 'bloodclan', which isn't an official clan and is just a rogue(I just noticed my typos, and I'm not fixing them all) group. Then there's Tigerstar, but I'm going to make an entire different post highlighting everything that tom has done since it's a lot, and I hate him for it. Lastly, there's Yellowfang, an elderly she-cat who originally was Shadowclan's medicine cats until she came to Thunderclan and was eventually accepted, and she was super badass and fed poisonous deathberries to her own son while he was in the camp because he(I genuinely don't remember his name:/) was conspiring with TigerClaw to kill Bluestar(TC leader at the time).

Onto cat breeds, most of them in the forest seem to be less of the fluffy, round, conventionally cute kind, but also no sphinx cats oddly enough. (I'm only on the 4th or 5th group of books, so this is all a big YET from me) Most of the more fine-tuned breeds used to be Kittypets, hence Cloudtail's prominent fluffiness amongst the rest of TC(I'm abbreviating clans now, btw).

[lauraroselam]

i wasn't sure if you would read the tags i'd leave if i reblogged your reply to my ask so i decided to just send you another ask! ha! i'll bullet point them this time bc i have quite a few things to say:

1. you can definitely keep my asks public, i really don't mind :)

2. never have i ever been so excited to open an email, and that too first thing in the morning. seeing your reply, especially that little treat at the end (!!!!!!!!!), had me smiling and kicking my feet in bed. i'm, impossibly enough, even more excited for Emberclaw now.

3. having more than one narrative position in a book is certainly ambitious and one that i haven't encountered in any other book so far, but it grows on you, fast (at least it did on me), and can be an acquired taste to some who are willing to give it a chance. i think you might just be the first author who has changed my mind completely on first person narratives and i owe it to your flawless delivery, of course (i'm biased, i'll admit). also, "narrative positions" was exactly the word that wouldn't come to me in my fit of excitement while writing my last ask; it was a tiny brain-fart moment on my part when i said "pov choice" instead haha.

4. this is more of an aside really but it once took me 400 pages (of a 800+ pages) to get into a book, so imho, 50 pages isn't asking for much. fantasy novels tend to be a little demanding! also, it was my first proper foray into epic fantasy. i then went on to finish the series despite the really, really, really slow start. the slowest. i think a reader can tell when the wait will be worth it though, almost like a gut feeling.

5. multi-pov is another polarizing aspect of books, but then again, it can be enjoyed if done well. i once read a book with 14 povs and gave it 5 stars. it wasn't even a fantasy novel, but a contemporary one! in comparison, your book with its 4 povs is pretty tame, and i think, even the norm for epic/high fantasy novels. personally, i enjoy being in the head of different characters! especially when you've got a big cast of them. also, that surprise 5th pov toward the end took me quite by surprise!! jaw, meet floor.

6. i do have a GR account! and i certainly have plans on leaving well-deserved, glowing reviews on both the book and audio :) it's the least i can do!

7. this one is more of a suggestion to those who might find the narrative positioning a little jarring: listen to the audiobook instead; it warms you up to it much faster!

i think that just about covers it. again, i cannot say this enough, but Dragonfall would not be the story i fell absolutely in love with had you not made the narrative (ha!) choices you did. i hope more people come to appreciate and love it as much as i do, and are willing to give it the fair chance it deserves <3

much love 💖

I think I'd see the tags! I'm so out of practice with Tumblr, but I have enjoyed coming back to it as I feel in some ways I can be more authentic over here rather than the more traditional promo over on tiktok and insta. Not that I'm inauthentic elsewhere it's just...here you can be a bit more off the cuff, I think?

1. Whew!

2. Aww yay! Interacting with readers is honestly one of my favourite things. I'm so excited when I hear from someone who got what I was trying to do. Releasing art for public consumption can be excellent but also hard. Dragonfall is probably my most personal book, so it being marmite made me so self-conscious. I always think about that Don Marquis quote "Publishing a volume of verse is like dropping a rose petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo." It's nice when you get the echoes back. :-)

3. I was inspired to be experimental after reading The Fifth Season, which is a masterpiece. I've heard good things about The Spear Cuts Through Water which also does cool narrative position trickery, I think. I also really love framing devices of people looking back, like in Assassin's Apprentice by Hobb (my fave author, as evidenced by the dedication). I'm glad I could open you up to all the opportunities of first person! I taught a class on narrative positions when I was a creative writing lecturer so I'm just very passionate about how form can marry function, hah.

4. Yes, four (technically five) is tame compared to some! I did seven in Seven Mercies and whew, that was a lot, even though technically my co-writer and I mostly split it up. My next projects will be 2 and then 1 as a bit of a breather. It is harder to balance multi POV, but I love the "heteroglossia" potential of storytelling.

6. Thank you!

7. I wish I could listen to the audiobooks of my books! I get too self-conscious or want to edit. I can say that Philip and Rachel did amazing jobs from the samples I head, though, and I was super excited they hired a nonbinary voice actor for Arcady. This was also my first time having more than one voice actor, which was neat.

And yes, I hope so too. <3

[taurus-spacecraft]

i saw you reblogged something about learning random facts and in the tags you mentioned andy warhol? could you please tell me a few things about him? :0 i'm studying him for my art GCSEs lol

YESS

(just note that i dont know all cool facts ab him just the general image for now)

WELL OKAY he was born 1928 and his parents were Austria-Hungary immigrats, hes mum was byzantine catholic and so was he for all his life he went to church almost every Sunday AND HE MEET JOHN PAUL II AND GAVE AUTOGRAPHS TO NUNS WHO WERE THERE

He started as a commercial illustrator theres a video showing technics he used for that , in the late 50s he started painting because he wanted his works to be shown in galleries and he did hes Campbell soup paintings, exhibited them in 1962 and that pretty much made him more known:DThe same year he bought a house and on the 5th floor created the factory decorated all in sliver paint and tin foil. It was relocated a few times but this one is the most famous. I belive most of his polaroids of celebrities were taken there but might be wrong lol. He was super obsessed with celebrities and fame which started when he was a kid and had to stay home for weeks after falling sick with sydenham chorea(it also made his skin and hair lose pigment for the rest of his life) and was collecting photos of celebs and writing to them

In 1968 he was shot by a radical feminist bc she didnt star in one of his films but he made it out alive, he was less social after that and became scared of hospitals. He kept making art, im his signature silk screen printing technic but belived he havent done anything good since the attack:( Also the woman who shot him ended up in a mental hospital, got out and has wrote him letters with pears.

He died basically because of his fear of hospitals he was moving his gallbladder surgery to the point when he actually did it it was very dangerous (and the fact that he was shot beafore and almost died didnt make it easier) he died because of complications after sugery but he did wake up! and made a call, then he suffocate i think

He stored things in boxes. I mean a lot of things. In a lot of boxes. They are called time capsules and im pretty sure they opened all of them, they included toe nails, old food, papers etc really ranodm thngs but his assignment whe help him to make the boxes said he knew exactly where he wanted to put what. So not random after all.

He was also openly gay beafore the gay liberation(he once submitted a series of man nudes to an exhibition but they rejected them and wanted to make a book, named cockbook. No comment needed on that), lived with his mom until he was 42, she moved in with him in NYC when he bought the house i mentioned earlier amd they had 20 cats all named Sam very important information. And he wore wigs, made in italy i think bc we went bald too quickly, he didnt style tehm and once a girl took his wig of and he wrote in his diary that we wanted to push her of balcony for that, i was surprised i was sure it was real hair lol

I CANT THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY NOW I HOPE YOU ENJOYED MY MONOLOGUE

[hetaero]

I love the complex layered curiosity you have of your hair cutting kink. I’m deep into psychoanalysis and always curious about how these weird fascinations we have in the body and mind have emerged. I’d love to know more. I’ve thought about the psychological reasons of my submissive gentle femdom kinks quite a bit.

thanks, I'm really into psychoanalysis too.

Pretty much, backstory— nobody in my family ever really cut their hair. my dads bald. my mom kinda just trimmed her hair at home. I grew up with long hair and never cut it other than trimming the ends myself every year or two. I don't have any siblings so the whole prospect of haircutting was mysterious to me— for a while I thought people were just born with short or long hair 💀

On top of that, my mom was a pretty patronizing figure when I was a kid and made me feel annoyingly powerless sometimes. my hair was always kinda tangled, so sometimes she'd (jokingly) threaten to cut it off or something I found my hair to be a source of strength and protection I guess and the prospect of having it taken away seemed emasculating or castrative (Freud actually said something similar. It's also prominent in the story of Samson and Delilah)

So I remember since like the age of 5 or so having this sort of complex with it, but tbh maybe it was there even earlier. I remember so many little moments that in hindsight were early expressions of my kink. SO many. I didn't know it was sexual, or a fetish, since I didn't know what either thing were, but I definitely knew it was something... off by the way it made me feel and thus I kept it a deep secret.

I can't exactly remember when I hit puberty and it began to actually elicit a physical reaction, but i definitely remember around 5th grade seeing a buzzfeed article on paraphilias and being like wait a minute, is there a hair one? and I found it online and I was like ohhhh it's a fetish 😭

I'm pretty much an open book and it's not hard for me to talk about the most embarrassing of things, but with this i remember not being able to talk about it at all. Every time haircutting came up I had to stay composed yet interested. I didn't even tell anyone I had this kink really until like 8th grade I think and even that was SO hard I think I laughed in hysteria for like 15 minutes straight after admitting it, no joke.

for a few years I thought I'd be totally alone and unloveable because of it and it caused me serious pain. It was only once I got some sexual experience and talked about it with guys that I realized some guys end up liking it if I explain it in depth and it's really not as detrimental to my lifestyle as I thought it would be.

It's still almost like an addiction tho, I "crave" cutting hair even in a non sexual way since I just find it so satisfying and fun just as a hobby. I'm actually quite good at it, ngl, I think I've done it at least a dozen times by now, some platonic and some not, but I don't think I've ever had a fully satisfying sexual experience with it yet.

I say "sexual" even tho it has nothing to do with actual sex, just arousal and sadomasochism, the latter of which is another layer to my kink that I could also rant about if you'd like (I'm realizing I've yapped too long on this post)

[vanhelsingapologist]

LMAO I am currently in ACOTAR hell. As in, I read all the books and so on (halfway done with the last). I am weirdly invested, drawing fanart and ranting about it. I dragged like 2 more people down with me because I won't suffer this alone, like it's book covid or something.

I can't say it is good. I can't recommend it. And yes, the first (and 5th) are the only ones where I had some positive enjoyment.

The first....I mean you're right - the start is so slow and unless you super vibe with the Tamlin-Lucien-Feyre dynamic there is not much there at all. The last third was fun tho for sure. Iono, it was like a 3/5 for me. Nothing special, nothing terrible. It was....fine.

BUT OH BOI THE REST. Everyone claims the second book is the best of the series and since I didn't outright hate the first, I picked it up with cautious excitement. THE BETRAYAL. I was so mad. I never hate-read anything so HARD. I was pissed at the shit this book pulled lol. I felt like the author was gaslighting me. Or tried to - and it only made me angrier. But I couldn't stop either. And it went on with the third. I just felt so weird, like I was reading different books than anyone else? Yet I had to go on because it kind of felt like some weird office drama that was clearly not meant for me but I am invested now.

So yeah, uhm, I'm stuck in the corner with all the hated characters having a weird party idk. Help!!

I don't mind a slow start! I even love a slow start, but I feel that 200 pages of that book should not exist. The world-building didn't justify a book that long. I really feel like the love interest could've been compelling but he was so overshadowed by literally every other character, which was bad because most of those characters were just not my cup of tea.

I liked Lucien! I think he and Feyre had weird, red-hot tension and my friend made the joke that it was like "someone had told Maas that Lucien and Feyre got on too well, so she went 'fuck, fuck' and started writing him out."

I also thought Rhysand was incredibly creepy, and it was so obvious what they were setting him up for. I had a deep, fundamental problem with his seemingly 'morally grey' characterization when I think 'morally deficient' would've been more believable to commit to. Personally, I think the justifications he offered for certain actions were shoddy, which is disappointing because I don't think he's supposed to be a villain. But he'd make such an interesting one! I love villains and I think if the book had just committed and made him villainous then I could've really been down for some apologism. I'm almost angrier that they won't admit that he'd fucked up and instead went "well, it's justifiable and it was even KIND of him."

All that being said, I really appreciate your perspective. I think the end of the book was so much fun too, and I feel so sad that I just spent half the book wondering how the hell it was going down. I'll hit you back up once I've read the second.

[nofacednerd]

how does someone coincidentally become your blorbo 3 times

okay listen adsfsdfhds

Flashback with me for a sec to 5th grade. I am 10 years old and the scholastic book fair is in town babeyyy its the event of the season for nerdy little weirdo children like me. I end up grabbing a comic book off the shelf (it was Ms. Marvel) and this began my love of comics/superhero hyperfixation.

Then, back in like 2019ish I kept getting ads for Lower Decks on youtube, thought it looked funny, watched the first episode, thought Boimler was a silly little guy, but I hadn't seen any Star Trek before so I just... Didn't get like half the references? So I decided that I was going to have to watch the entirety of Star Trek before watching Lower Decks. Because I am Me I immediately spend the next 4 years telling myself that I'm going to watch Star Trek and never actually doing it.

LATER in 2019, the MCU has done me too dirty and Marvel comics start to bore me. The new Shazam movie comes out and suddenly DC comics has me in a chokehold. I've always liked Superman, like, conceptually, but I start actively watching shows and reading the comics now. I blame Young Justice (the original comic run, NOT the CN show). I spend the next few years in quarantine yelling about Robins. At some point, during one of the Fandomes, they announce MAWSM and show off really early concept art (remember when Lois was white? I do. Bad times.) and I am immediately hyped as fuck for it

THEN, flash forward to last summer. 'The Boys' is trending on tumblr bc the new season just aired. I was incorrectly under the assumption that the show was closer to it's comic counterpart and that it was just an edgefest for 14 year old neonazis so I was confused as to why it was trending on tumblr of all places. I click on the tag and immediately the first post is about "The Boys Penis Explosion Scene" and I go 'Well what the fuck does that mean'. So then I spend like an hour scrolling through the tag, once again making very inaccurate assumptions about the plot of the show, then I finally give up on trying to figure out what the fuck the Penis Explosion Scene was via tumblr and just watch the actual show. Almost immediately I latch on to the sad, wet cat, traumatized, neurotic little weirdo that is Hughie The Boys (he just like me fr fr) Then like a few months later I find out Jack Quaid is also going to be voicing Clark in MAWSM, which I was already excited for. Flash forward to THIS May. I come home for summer break, tell my brother I want to watch Star Trek, I find out that it would take 2 years of consistently watching Star Trek to watch everything, gave up, watched Lower Decks anyway, heard Boimler and went. 'WAIT A FUCKING SECOND'

And that's how the same guy ended up playing 3 of my favorite silly little guys entirely by sheer coincidence

[sunset-peril]

Hoping to have Ashes Remain done within the week.

We're past the climax at this point, so no more big lore development until book three. We're at the moment of the bombing now, and the book ends right after Apollo takes his "leave of absence", so not too much longer to go.

I can't believe its almost finished I'm feeling so many feels. When I finish this, it will be my 5th completed fanfiction and, with a current word count of 31,486, is my second fic with over 30K words (Trial of the Zora Armor, the main Zelda fic, was completed at 42,125 words and was the first fic I ever finished)

[eimearkuopio]

I love it! Thank you for sharing this story, you've made my day.

💚💜🩷

Love from Auntie Kindness Bones, PhD

I've been a warrior all along, but patriarchal BS meant they thought I was the Grace of Our Lady, but I only bend the knee to Our Lady of Tooth and Claw, and I won't look back. There's a fire under the shiny altar I keep lying to.

Sorry about the word salad. Apparently this is my life now, but at least I know I'm Neutral Good. If I was either Lawful or Chaotic, that would kind of suck for everyone else; but it's probably for the best that I'm not going for true neutral either, because life requires change and that means imbalance. I'm not above putting a little finger with a backwards knuckle bone on humanity's side of the scales. After all, I'm only human. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

See you soon, love{s}. I think my eyes are still green, which means I still have work to do, but I'm done being a solo act. (Hi Britney! Thanks for reminding me about The Ring{s}.)

Couldn't have done it without the extras and the ensemble, but I want to call out Paloma Faith, R_NB, and Lisa L in particular. They kept me from falling to pi[s/e]ces while I was in the eye of the hurricane. They taught me the Way, either without knowing any more of the Story or the Context than I did, or without spoiling me so that I could be River Song instead of Melody Pond or River Tam. I'll let S_M handle the rest of the credits, because I think it might be my day off. I'm not Jewish, but Shabbat Shalom to me. Tell M_M that tomorrow will be Thursday 24.10.2024 and I just had my first re-birthday. I've already told people what I want, but just in case:

Nobody deliberately hurts my loved ones ever again. We get our lives. Institutions get what scraps we can spare. Individuals get whatever surplus we have, but it will take time to reach a new equilibrium safely, so we all need to be patient at least a little longer. I think by 5th November things should be unquangled fully, but I keep telling people I might be wrong.

My notes. From DNH, from home, from my office. Moved somewhere I can continue the work instead of abandoning it, but where it won't stress Ad out.

Green eyes. My own secret name that someone should tell me, because this only worked in the first place because I gave all my names away. ...ah, okay, yeah, thank you, I got that. Thanks, T.

A seat at my own table (currently in Kuopio afaik, but I'm very patient; and while you're getting it from Anne P's parents maybe grab the books etc. that are being stored with it.

For people to listen to my concerns genuinely, because by the time I speak up, it's already almost too late anyway.

Peace in the Middle East for me, and in Ukraine for my husband. I don't know how to make it happen, but maybe ask M_Fa. She's married to D_m if you don't know who I mean, but also, you can ask me stuff. If I'm not completely bananas by now, just asking questions won't do any harm.

-Swan not Cleon or Ajax (ask LMM, if I'm Chesed he's one of the adjacent Sefirot even though I've never met him; and if I'm not Chesed, I don't mind just being a worker instead of a warrior, but I'm allergic to Royal Jelly so you're going to have to find a new Queen if you want me to stop droning on and get down to buzz-ness at UMH)

Left eye worse than right eye but I think I should see an optician when I get out of here. I probably won't go to Mr Manuel, I know my whole family does because he's great but I don't want to have to wait until Dublin to get my eyes checked.

-Rembrandt the Warrior (remember the d and the t are both necessary; and I'm not Atlas, but I just shrugged and did a trick, so I guess I'm a loose seal too, rather than a mermaid or a siren or a huge manatee)

Yes, I did put Warriors on shuffle. That's how it works here. I'm the Tabernacle. Be not afraid. I'm still here, I'm finally me, and that means you are too. 144009-Love, Dennis Moon Moon God of the Zeroth House XO xo ox OX -Luisa

[curs3dn0va]

Trigger warning: medical issues, sappy relationship stuff.

Dear reader, I am so sorry for abandoning you for such a long time, but I'm also ADHD (I know, I got stuck with the unholy trinity Autism, ADHD, and BPD) so I kinda forgot and, even tho I do have more harrowing lore to drop, I kinda decided to save the worst for the vent notebook.

So the updates are: My mom was able to get me a ring that I gave Bitch back when we talked, and she gave it up and told my mom that I could pick up my stuff whenever.

The second update is that it turns out my boyfriend's friends knew about me from high school, from my ex and his gf C too. It's surprising to me that they didn't heed my bad name and forbade my bf from coming near me, but I'm glad they gave me a chance, those two are my favorite of my bf's friends (don't tell them, it'll go straight to their heads).

The third update is that I might have cancer. It's either that or a very rare thyroid descease, anyways something's eating my spine so I'm in pain daily and I am tired all the time, I'm writing this from my hospital room, I had a biopsy done so I'll update with a diagnoses, althought I am sure no one reads this but me lol.

Don't get me wrong: I am terrified about this diagnosis, I really don't want cancer. My lore is pretty extensive already, that's why I started this blog. It's kinda like an autobiographic project to test my storytelling. I had a professor (I dropped out of university for good lol, I guess that's update #4) who complimented what he called my "voice" and as you can read, I am carrying that chip on my shoulder for the rest of my life, even if I end up not writing a book ever. And believe me do I have enough tragedies it's comedic. Tragicomedia diría mi profesor. That's just my life.

In the only good news I bring: my boyfriend and I just celebrated our 2nd anniversary! ... well, money's tight and it was in November, so I proposed to celebrate both our anniversary and my birthday together in February (I'm an Aquarius, and I dare you, dear reader, to tell me something about Aquarians that isn't related to "living in a different world/reality"), that way we both would be able to get through Christmas this year. And I'm so glad I did. It did bummed me not to do anything the day of our anniversary, but -I guess in my 5th update now- I am more secure in my relationship with my boyfriend, I have accepted the fact that he loves me, and our communication has improved immensly because of this.

My man has always been receptive to my wants and needs, I never have to bring up things twice, he gets it and fixes it the first time around. With one exception: he's not very PDA, and after being the chill, non-chalant girlfriend before all my trauma, it was also a surprise to me that I am now VERY PDA. It also helps that this is the man that brought back that feeling of first love butterflies... okay, so he swept me off my feet by being a confident nerd that is constatly improving himself and learning new things (he's a Cancer if you're interested, and no idc that out signs are "compatible").

Or did I sweep him off his feet by being assertive, resilient, and very comfortable with taking the lead? I'll tell you a secret: my bf is actually really shy when it comes to romance, we took our time getting to know each other, so when we were watching a "scary" movie (it was really bad), I was giving him all the signs that I wanted him to hold my hand, the backs our hands were already touching, shoulders too, (I know, scandalous) so I was just waiting for him to do it, but when he said "wow, that was scary" sarcastically I just responded "I'll protect you" and just took his hand into mine, intertwined our fingers, and I liked it. But what happened next did it for me: he very softly said "okay". It was almost a whisper. I looked at him, and he was blushing, keeping his eyes on the TV. I swear I have no clue how I gathered the self-control not to jump his bones in that moment, but I let it linger. I ran my thumb softly on the back of his hand, and we finished the movie, and then he drove me home.

I was hooked. All I could think about his pretty face, I still remember and get that warm fuzzy feeling all over again. Our first kiss was a little different, I surprised him, so he was, well surprised. We were cuddling, and I sat up and kissed him. When his surprise wore off, he kissed me back. He was good. He's gotten even better. Sex was less surprising, I did let him know that I wanted to do it, so he was not surprised, but he was nervous, I could tell. He later told me that he never enjoyed sex much, he felt pressured to do everything and his stomach got upset because of it. Me initiating, and us taking turns and all that (this isn't smut, I'm telling you my love story rn) really helped him come out of his shell, and I loved to see it.

When we got in the car afterward (I had work the next day, so I couldn't stay over), he looked a bit sad. We were not formally together yet, and thinking back, he was probably not sad at all, and I was just overthinking his expression, anyways I surprised him again by asking him to be my boyfriend then and there, and he said yes. It did make him smile all the way back to my house, I was smiling too.

Two years later, we have been through a lot together. Talking to each other has been our safe space, and he has been with me throughout two hospitalizations now, so the "in sickness and in health" part of our relationship is good.

I'm gonna tell you the truth, dear reader: I started and deleted 3 different anecdotes about my boyfriend, our dynamic, etc. They are too long, so sometimes I'll post palette cleansers about him in my future posts. I want to clarify that even though I do depend on him a lot, I have not let it become codependence, I pay for therapy for a reason, dammnit. If he falls asleep before saying goodnight, it doesn't ruin my night because I don't perceive it as rejection, and it doesn't happen often (I could count the times in one hand over the past two years). I can also safely say that if my life took me somewhere else in the world and he doesn't want to uproot his life to go with me: that would be it. I need the validation of physical affection, I could never do long distance (although this scenario has come up in conversation, and he said he'd go with me, so there's that).

Anyway it's 3am at the hospital so I'm going to bed... or to my gurney? Whatever, I'm going to sleep now. Bye.

[darkmoonkestrel]

daily kestrel 79:

book fair was very fun to operate, there was one 5th grader who's a teacher's kid that has been shadowing the librarian for the last few book fairs and she let him operate the register and no lie, that 10 year old ran the register better than some of the full adults I used to train at Sbubby. I shopped the fair and got us each an item and a bookmark - Paige got a pointer, Peyton got a journal, and I got a book on Minecraft builds

I left the school a little early to get home and do my last virtual interview, which went really well right up until I tried to export the screen recording and the audio fucked up. I emailed my prof and quickly made bullet point notes of the interview before I forgot it, which he said will be totally fine. as soon as I got done writing the notes Paige and I jumped in the car and headed up to watch the early theatre premier of Wicked, which was absolutely fuckin stellar. the costumes, the sets, the choreography, the acting, the music - we will honestly probably go see it in the theater again, it was that good. and now we get to prepare for a year long intermission

some of our car conversation highlights include the thought that if I had to make a wish that caused chaos, it would be that all of the arrows on the road turned into Mario kart style boosters. Paige said "I would love - and this is a joke - to put a bomb in there and watch it explode" about a glass building, and on the way home we talked about all the recent and projected future medical technology advancements, all of this being on tangents from listening to more Distractible

we stopped at the promised land of the beaver on the way home to pee and get food, and now it's almost midnight and we are home. in the 20 minutes since we've been home and briefly decompressing on the couch before bed, Paige speed built her free little Lego set that we got for going to the early premier, and it's super cute!! all around a good day, but I'm not ready to be up and at work in 7 hours

[ma-lark-ey]

✪ malarkey's intro post 2.0 ✪

░!! have you done your daily click? !!░

░ greetings & salutations. since my original intro post is kind of messy, I'm making a new one!

ー name lark / magnus

ー age / birthday nineteen / may 5th

ー pronouns he/him/they/them

―●○◎ other socials/blogs ◎○●―

― archive of our own: ma_lark_ey

― spotify: malarkey

― discord: ma_lark_ey

―●○◎ fandoms i'll tag/post:

all for the game (the foxhole court) / harry potter / the marauders era / red, white, & royal blue / percy jackson / magnus chase / check, please! / the extraordinaries / simon snow (carry on) / the mortal instruments / taylor swift / hermitcraft / the adventure zone / dimension 20

―●○◎ also, here are my fics that I still think are readable. ◎○●―

(otherwise known as, the collection of fanfictions I actually think are well written and not the ramblings of a lunatic (re: not written in a cripplingly intense hyperfocus.))

Separated by fandom

Carry On ―

― Winter Gardens [NR/6k]

"Simon Snow was (almost literally) scooped out of the trash by Davy Cadwallader when he signed his contract to become 'the next big thing' at just thirteen years old. Now, at eighteen, the years of sidelining his health in the name of his producer's standards are catching up to him, and the public's beginning to notice. It probably doesn't help that his boyfriend's vague-posting insults to his producer, either... Or that people are onto the fact he even has a boyfriend."

― are not created equal [NR/4k]

"Carry On where Everything Is the Same(tm) except Simon Snow is Deaf. And also autistic. Baz has like an ounce of emotional literacy but that's less important."

Dungeons & Daddies ―

― is that my face!? [G/36k]

Nick decides to go to church camp with Grant just so he doesn't have to be alone. He wasn't ready for... Whatever the fuck he's got himself into. This kid has his face, and for what? Nick's heard of dopplegangers, but this is just absurd. Much more absurd that they have the same fucking name.

― day:/time: [G/3k]

In which Grant Wilson haphazardly keeps a diary of his first few days in Faerun and the set of twins weirder than the Oak's that have taken him under their wing.

― apples never fall far [G/3k]

Henry always saw his transness as an afterthought, a part of himself that burdened others to hide away and talk about as little as possible. Lark always saw his transness as something that permeates his identity, affects each and every way society treats him. Something as innately a part of him as autism. Both have always seen their transness as a piece of them they cannot change, even if they tried.

― Stampler: A Documentary by Paeden Bennetts [G/10k]

what if the boys never went to Faerun? What if faerun didn't exist and they were simply kidnapped by their grandparents? what if, over a decade after the fact, young film major Paeden Bennetts, the youngest kidnapping victim, gathered the doodlers to film a documentary with a true to story recount of the events?

― laundry basketball [G/3k]

Grant is struggling with cleaning his room due to a hard hit of Depression, so, he calls Terry to come help him. And who's to say if they kiss once or twice? It's not gay to kiss the homies.

The Extraordinaries ―

― you're alive in my head. [NR/3k]

"should've kept every grocery store receipt / 'cause every scrap of you would be taken from me. / Watched as you signed your name... / ...All your closets of backlogged dreams / and how you've left them all to me. / What died didn't stay dead." OR: Five times Nicholas Bell missed his mom and the one time he didn't

Harry Potter ―

― this was a therapeutic chain of events [M/71k] [ongoing]

"Sirius Black was not looking for a relationship. He had a book to finish, deadlines to meet, and too many issues to drag another man into his life. He's already got two roommates and a toddler to worry about. Remus Lupin was not intending to look for a relationship. Between the service dog, the chronic illness, and the special interest in the Marauders book series, he doesn't have much game, either. James Potter did not even have the time for a relationship if he wanted one. He had a toddler, surgical residency hours, and Sirius to keep an eye on. His hands were full. Regulus Black had never even considered finding a partner. His brother gave him too many abandonment issues for that shit. He could never stoop that low. And then they all wound up in the same bar one night."

― never learned to read your mind [series] [T/132k] [ongoing]

“I’m trying to raise you to be a functioning adult, Albus. Do you want me to just stop being your father? Would that make life so much easier for you?” Albus knew that sometimes the things he said were needlessly cruel, and he didn't care. This was one of those times. “God, sometimes, I wish you weren’t my dad.” His father tensed, and what he said was so much crueller than anything Albus could ever come up with. “Well, sometimes, I wish you weren’t my son.” Or: Five times Albus ran away and the one time Harry followed him

― these hands of mine were clumsy, not clever. [G/43k]

OR: I toyed with the idea of Harry and Ginny having a kid by accident soon after the war, and Harry entering such a deep state of depression afterward he decided it be better he walk out on them than the stay and let his son watch him suffer and now we're reaping the consequences with an eleven year old Potter with daddy issues

Percy Jackson & the Olympians ―

― The Side-Effects of Being the Hero [T/2k]

Percy had always known he was neurodivergent, but since his adventures in saving the world from evil beasts and immortal beings, his mental health has only declined. He's been doing well since the fall of Gaea, but the weight of even causing that much damage weighs on his shoulders, leaving him in harsh nights. Nights like this one.

― home sweet home [NR/4k]

In which; Annabeth never goes home during the Olympian's series. Instead, it's not until after the war with Gaea she makes the ultimate decision to try to reconnect with her family

― wisegirl is live! [T/11k]

Fans piece together that popular streamer B4ckb1t3r's companion, Wisegirl, bears a striking resemblance to kidnapped seven-year-old, Annabeth Chase. Even down to the same name. Isn't that just crazy?

― i wanna know, do you play DnD? [G/3k]

In which: Heroes of Olympus (highly abridged) is actually just a high fantasy DnD campaign of a bunch of kids in their late teens trying to have a good time. That's it.

Magnus Chase & The Gods of Asgard ―

― it's just our bringing that gets us out of hand [M/146k]

After two years, Magnus had grown rather content with his life. He had friends, he had a girlfriend, and he had figured shit out. And then his Uncle Frederick rolled in and said, "I'm claiming legal guardianship of you. Let's move you to New York!" And now he's enrolled in therapy. Lucky Magnus. Or: A No Gods AU where Magnus DID go with Annabeth and Frederick when they came to Boston. Also canon is optional, fun fact.

Red, White, & Royal Blue ―

― CHECK(MATE) [T/14k]

"It's such an unexpected pairing, a hockey player and a punk star. How'd you too meet?" "Oh, well, it's really silly. It actually started when Alex's fans started..." "I met Henry because my Tumblr followers started this elaborate hoax about us being best friends." "And, let me guess, you ran with it?" "Oh, June, you know I commit to a good bit."

― Shouting Into Nothing (AGAIN?) [T/19k]

"How about this," Alex offered, "If I win AOTY, I announce Henry and I in my acceptance speech. If I don't, we do it your way." OR: Alex is a world famous pop punk star, Henry is still the Prince of England, and the public is onto them. (formerly: my songs know secrets you're sick of keeping)

― it's nice to meet you, prince perfect [M/5k] [ongoing]

Two years ago, Mary Windsor passed away at the age of 86. Two years ago, her youngest grandchild, a talented young female singer/songwriter who performed under the stage name 'Prince Perfect,' disappeared within the month. Now Prince Perfect is back from the dead. With an endless amount of cryptic messaging leading to a hidden away album for fans to discovery. An album named 'henry.'

Unprepared Casters ―

― you're on your own kid, you always have been [G/1k]

In which a nameless citizen of the Fey wild contemplates the recent happenings with the Sun (or, Suns) and Moon.

― find a penny, pick it up! [G/2k]

A brief summary of the early life of the eldest Lovejoy.

┌ below are my personal tags & what they mean !