#I'm absolutely floored by how good it is
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HEY YOU
Do you like chocolate???
Do you like paying workers livable wages???
Do you like ENDING UNETHICAL PRACTICES?!
Did you want to find a chocolate that tastes better than Cadbury, Hershey, AND Ghirardelli?!
Tony's Chocoloney is incredible.
I'm not kidding when I say that I tried it earlier and it's the best damn chocolate I have ever eaten in my life.
And I fucking love chocolate.
Not only is it incredibly tasty, but it also gives you a lot of bang for your buck while also ending unethical child labor in the cocoa farms in West Africa!
They have an incredible goal and an impeccable product for a really good price. Tbh, for what I got today I would've had to pay twice as much for the same amount of Hershey's. It's bonkers how good it is for the price AND how much you get for it.
Is it probably a bit on the expensive side for some people? Yeah for sure! But is it worth it? Abso-fuckin-lutely.
Go buy it.
I'm not kidding it's so good and it's for a good cause.
It tastes like I've ascended to another plane and my taste buds will never be the same.
#tag later#📝 - Lily Rambles#ive been wanting to try it ever since i first heard of it a number of months ago but holy shit it exceeded my expectations#I'm absolutely floored by how good it is
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Just wantin' t' let ya know:
I'm proud of ye.
Keep bein' - what's the term you young'uns use...?
....
....
"Epic"?
Eh.. no matter.
Keep bein' great, Alex J. Mullner.
And remember: if ye need anythin' - anythin' at all - you tell your pal Willy an' I'll come runnin'!
Thaaaaanks Willyyyyyyy...
#SOBBING CRYING ROLLING AROUND ON THE FLOOR#I'M LOSING IT RN#HELLLLLLLLP#Alex has never in his life met a man who had like#good appreciative fatherly vibes#so he's very confused by Willy's mere existence#but i can absolutely see them hanging out when Alex is distressed#that poor jock shuffles his way to the docks but doesn't know how to ask for help so he just . pouts and kicks his feet in the water#willy stands next to him and does some fishing just to keep him company#SNFIFLE#weeps#Himbo highlights
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So I came to the realization today that I am not going to get anymore work on this trunk done this year. I still need to finish stripping the paper inside and redoing that, but it's just. Not happening until spring. With that realization, I decided it's time to finally bring it back inside, put all the junk on my floor that used to be in it back in it, and guys
It looks good.
This is going to be a summary post of the project, so let's go back and remember what I started with. Back in, like, 2015 or something, I bought this dome-top steamer trunk at a missionary shop for $65
Yeah. Rough. But underneath that paint it was sturdy, and the only thing missing was the lock and the right-side hasp. While I lived overseas this sat in my parents' house, and when I got back I kept meaning to do something while storing all of my yarn and cat food in it. When I finally got my own space (almost a year ago now!) with my own garage, I finally decided: it was time.
Heads up, this is a long post under the cut.
Did a lot of research online, grew to hate how generative AI has even permeated niche topics like how to refinish a vintage steamer trunk, WHY is there generative AI for that, PLEASE stop, went to Lowe's and bought some supplies (I used Citristrip for the paint stripping, it worked VERY easily), and started stripping that hideous brown* away.
Almost instantly I could tell how good it could be. The tin looked amazing, and for most of the stripping process I wondered why on earth someone would cover it with any color. It took multiple layers of stripping, and I got better at it over time.
I did also start to see some oxidation issues with the tin that made the purpose behind the paint job a little more understandable.
One side was particularly bad, but I will never forgive the decision to paint the entire thing one single color.
At first, the flat metal seemed okay, but the longer I worked on stripping, the longer it was exposed to air, the rustier it started to get. I had already planned on coating it, and I ended up getting some Rust-Oleum Rust Reformer spray paint. Instead of removing the rust, it bonds to the oxide and stops the process from continuing. It also happens to leave it a nice matte black that didn't need additional painting. I taped everything off, then sprayed.
Then it was time for the tin. I looked for ideas, and the best one I found was Rub'n'Buff. It's not so much a paint as a pigmented wax, with the idea that you can buff it to a higher shine. As I was stripping paint, I found a spot under one of the slats that the painter missed, and the original tin had been painted a gold color, so I used that to decide on color. I decided on Grecian gold, though I used the antique gold as a kind of base to make sure the Grecian stretched far enough.
I originally started applying it with some craft foam brushes, but they didn't really want to work for me, so I ended up buying a pack of makeup sponges, the little disposable wedge ones, and the finer texture worked much better. I had to trim them down pretty frequently, because the wax would build up and stop applying as nicely, but there were more than enough in the pack to finish the job.
The coverage is amazing for this stuff. This side was the worst of them, and one layer of the stuff was almost perfect. The Grecian gold was almost a bit runnier, though, and ended up needing a second layer to cover some patches that were almost too thin, thus the other underneath.
This tin is so pretty though. I still kind of regret that it needed it; the places that weren't oxidized were so bright in a way that the Rub'n'Buff had no hope of emulating. There are some places you can still buy the embossed tin for rehabing trunks like this, but I haven't found one with a pattern quite like this, and this one is so much nicer than the ones I've seen. I'm very glad that it was all intact except for where the lock goes.
After the tin came the slats. I knew from sites like Brettun's Village that I wanted to use tung oil, so I had bought what I thought was tung oil. Turns out Minwax gets to call their tung oil finish that even though there's. No... tung oil. in it. ? So uh, if you want actual tung oil, do NOT listen to Minwax, they're lying, I don't understand why it's allowed. It still looks nice enough, but quite annoying.
Speaking of Brettun's Village, they not only do their own restorations AND provide a guide, they have a very extensive supply of recently furbished and original parts. They happened to have a nearly identical hasp to the one that was missing (so nearly identical I only noticed after my dad pointed it out) and an old lock also similar to my original, made in the late 1800s/early 1900s.
The next step was to tackle the inside. Instead of just adding more paper on top (like the last people did, so now there are two layers, one of which hides some original stickers ;3;), I decided to try to scrape that out, and I've found some structural issues that the metal and slats outside have held together and kept hidden.
The top split in the wood is an actual crack on the front that needs fixing. The middle split is just the gap between the planks. The bottom is also a crack, but not as extensive as the top one.
So the final steps, when I get the motivation again come spring, is to finish getting as much of the paper off as I can. Then my dad is going to help me use some bondo to hold the cracks, and I'll find a removable wallpaper I like. Then I can sort out what I'm going to do with the lock. That top split runs right through where the lock should go - you can see some of the wood filler we already put in from where the original was ripped out - so we can't try to put anything there or it'll crack worse.
But I brought it in today!
It looks so good, I glance over and get to feel so satisfied; I did that.
*I don't like to call any color hideous, because a lot of the time it really depends on the context, and it's an okay brown. But for THIS? It was probably the worst brown they could have picked. Mixed with the orange of the paint stripper it looked like I was scraping diarrhea.
#long post#vintage trunk#steamer trunk#antiques#antique restoration#antique refinishing#I tried to look up the lock again for the dates they had but they don't have the old stock ones anymore#so my timing was good#mom has wanted some quilting projects so I suggested something for under this#cause it has the original roller wheels! three of them anyway o3o;;;#but I'm afraid that the very old roller wheels will scratch the floor#i gave her the measurements and double checked idk how it ended up so skinny ;3;#but it's good enough#is there a chance that now that I've brought it inside my adhd will think “hey good enough” and never finish the rest?#yes#yes there is absolutely a significant chance#but I am beyond positive that no more work is going to get done before winter#so why leave it out in the garage over winter where it might expand and contract and force those cracks wider#I BARELY tapped the door frame on the way back in and it chipped the door frame though#like what kind of cheap materials did they use how was that even POSSIBLE#rude#oh oops I'm awake too late again tonight I gots work in the morning
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What your fave says about you: Sona/Undertale edition (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#So many sonas and characters lol#Ended up filling the other side of the zine with something self-indulgent :)#Actually came from the same kernal as a digital-specific idea but these are what I've ended up with in the moment!#Zine doodles end up...silly lol#I draw with pen logic! And mm... I won't say I'm Displeased with them but there are things I'd change for sure#Overall the vibe is there just not completely the execution lol#I'll get it better when I do the digital version >:3c It'll be like how I see it in my head and then I'll have both! Nice#For the moment tho doing an eight-highlight reel of the who's who was fun :)#Obviously starting with myself and my fave <3 This terrible little flower whom I love with my whole heart#I really do love him - I'd go and rewatch my fave scenes with him but the in-built guilt haha#The next was easy! My fave sona gets my second fave character! Papyrus only loses to Flowey by a hair's breadth anyway lol#Anyone in the thread remember that time I compared Charm to Papyrus lol#They both want people to like them so badly! They go about it very differently tho lol#Papyrus would be a good influence on her :) Just be nice to people! Ironically she'd probably agree more with Sans lol#Speaking of! Eli would be the type of person who goes digging around in the backend and Totally claims to like Gaster the most#Y'know because secret values and stuff! Super sneaky like! But actually their fave is Snas lol#You are Basic Eli just accept this lol#Ficus was an easy pick for Napstablook - they would absolutely lay on the floor and think about being garbage with them#That deadened gaze lol#Ulex looks so uninterested in Alphys lol they're just bad at talking - dissimilar from Alphys in that they've got the stoic thing going on#They're not awkward just not good at making friends lol#Hall of Mirrors would absolutely love Undyne lol - being friends with her and cooking together would make HoM So Happy haha#Another obvious one - Othersona already comes with spider imagery! Muffet was the clear choice haha#They are having a cup of spiders and they are enjoying it :/ Lol#And finally Holosona and original calculator-body Mettaton haha - she prefers this version over EX and NEO#She'd probably like NEO - she absolutely plays the Genocide run on purpose - except for how OHKO he is lol#A different sona likes NEO tho...#Anyhow ♪ Might talk more about their different play styles in the digital version :D When I get there anyway lol
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my mom got me a gift card to this local spa place and I finally made an appointment for a massage, because I figured I might as well, and as excited as I am for it I'm also so nervous 😭 I have no clue what to expect or what the proper etiquette is. Like I know to bring a cash tip and everything, but I don't really know how the whole process goes, I've never done this before
#I absolutely could use this massage#I'm so tense and stressed all the time that it certainly couldn't hurt#but I don't know what to expect#like when they tell you to undress??#do I keep my bra on? I don't really even want to wear one in the first place tbh#but is it weird if I don't have one on?#where do I put my clothes after I take them off?#it can't be good etiquette to just toss them on the floor#some parts are supposed to hurt a little from what I can gather#but how do I know if it's a part that's supposed to hurt or if I should speak up and ask her to stop?
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fucking hate fighting with people's who's main strategy is straight up lying & screaming & crying until you give up trying to even attempt communicating. just coming up with the most batshit, insane lies they can think of to slander you & they literally just don't fucking stop, like persistence predator shit except they're just doing it to avoid having to take responsibility. what the fuck is going on in that kind of person's brain
#30 years old btw. is how old this person is#screaming & crying on the floor like a toddler is apparently a good strategy to make people believe you#even when the other person is saying ''what are you fucking on about none of that shit happened''#& it doesn't even matter that there is absolutely negative proof it happened they will believe this anyways#because i'm already the family Bad Guy. anything you accuse me of i did it. because there needs to be a Bad Guy#the reason i'm being accused of attempted murder today btw is because i said & i quote:#''instead of throwing my food in the garbage just ask me what it is so i can tell you not to do that''#i should've known better than to try the communication route with people who only know how to DARVO#& also that ''accused of attempted murder'' thing is real. that is currently the version she's settled on#i apparently ''chased her around with a knife & threatened to kill the pets'' which i don't even need to explain how untrue that is#she literally spit on my & threw water on me & threw piss (yes. urine) at me & threatened to smash my computer#& broke a door & told me to kill myself like 8 times & said i'm a scammer & that i'm not really disabled#& then started shitting on me for being a furry?? & when i mentioned that's kind of homophobic & ableist#she started going on about how actually most furries aren't gay so it's not homophobic as if there aren't stats stating otherwise#she's a 3rd grade substitute teacher btw. yes this terrifies me#there is a HUGE reason my sisters went into teaching & that's because i was no longer a child they could abuse
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reading earlier chapters of my own fic like it's sustenance
#p sure no one's gonna read this fic once i post it#and/or i'll get hate for it#so i'm writing it all first#we're ... distantly nearing the end of arc 2#and we're at about 77k words atm#and there are four arcs#a/b fic#fic talk#i can't wait to write from anthony's pov in arc 4...#and once this fic is done i'm gonna write that simon/anthony fic#i miss writing anthony in this fic! he's only not been there for like 4k words or something and i already miss him lol#and i have to work out how angry i should make frederick. and... i distantly know how this section will end but as i'm tired i can't hold#onto it#which is very annoying#anyway. lemme go gif some s1 anthony because ilh#i actually can't believe how much i do lol#he really grew on me. but it's more the hair and the sheer angst that's oozing from him#oozing lol#anyway. was rereading ch2 of a/b fic and it's just. aaah. cute. the way anthony self-consciously tells benedict that he grew up on a ship#that he's more working class than merchant. and he's just waiting for benedict to like. not want to be with him anymore#but then benedict says he doesn't care about that. and anthony is floored by it#but as you already learn in the next chapter- benedict already thinks that anthony isn't good enough#that he's someone special but it can't ever be something more#like. i think that's right. no he doesn't care that he's of a lower social class. but does he want to court him? absolutely not
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I decided because I love suffering that everyone gets their own halter.
#-pops on once in a blue moon to update and dip-#like what it's been. ten years since I've basically said 'hey life is crazy but I really wanna try to be active again!!' lmfao#somehow life keeps getting crazier in good and absolutely abysmal ways#have been sleeping on my floor for the past week due to Fun Health Issues which will probably be a thing for the next month+#and I would b*tch about that but today is the first day in the past week that I have not been miserable so#I'm on a 'I do not feel like sh*t! :DDDD' high lmao#I'm good!! life is just funny and I really need to do standup tbh#when I suffer apparently I am hilarious so silver linings 💕#chaotically toggles between emoticons and emojis bc f*ck the police no one can stop me#this is me a week *not* taking my prescribed amphetamines ahahaha#on them I am actually relaxed and chill which is funny#off them I'm either a sloth or nighttime kitty zooms basically#my body may b falling apart but you cannot stop my chaotic little mind apparently#ANYWAY broken record babey but I do... want to be more active.... if it happens I'll eat my hat but.#can I just say how elated I am that MORE SNOW#Winter Riders was my first SS game so. snow in game is v special to me and I literally dreamed about this and they MAGICALLY DELIVERED#I have a million critiques but clearly I still love the game and I am very happy with how they handled this lmao#anyway I hope everyone is healthier and a little more mentally stable than I <3#I love this stupid game a lot it is still my comfort... n0n-object. sldkfj.#also everyone must know I am f*cking OBSESSED with the unicorn oh my god#still a ponygirl at heart ig 😒 owell#also ye Dragonheart got an update!! heeeee#Dragonheart#Illusion#Brilliant Vision#Myth#Chocolate Dream#mostly sticking to two part names but ngl. for certain special horses I'm enjoying the single name options#also the halter thing is to sorta discourage me from impulse buying horses lmfao#I am 99% positive it will have 0 effect lmaooooo but everyone looks fancy now
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do y’all ever just think about the most random shit about your muses and go absolutely feral —
#✯ — нorѕeѕ ιn тнe вacĸ × [ ooc ]#i'm talkin' like — the smallest fuckin' things too#like...your muse in casual wear.#i imagined jesse in a basic ass t-shirt and went absolutely bananas.#or like — how he licks the cake batter bowl CLEAN.#how he starts brushing his teeth right — five seconds later he's roaming the entire fuckin' house#with his toothbrush hanging out of his mouth — AND HE'LL WALK AROUND LIKE THAT FOR 20 MINUTES.#how he can only sleep with socks on ??#he hums a lot when he's at ease — if he's just strolling around base you'll hear the tune of one of his favorite songs at the moment.#did you know he's physically unable to cross his legs — like...#he can't sit cross legged on the floor...he also can't touch his toes without bending his knees.#he's supposed to wear reading glasses but doesn't ! because he's hardheaded !!#he's REALLY good at tying knots and knows a very wide variety...........do with that information as you will.#THERE'S JUST SO MANY LITTLE THINGS I LOVE HIM —#tbd
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Current mood: gosh I sure would enjoy my life more AND make a good bit more money if I was able to just do art full time- Like if I spent 8-10 hours a day on art for commissions and such I would probably make twice what I'm making at my current job- but also I don't have much visibility as an artist which is fine, and I don't have the time to churn out shit for free in order to grow my visibility and market myself (because yeah sure I know drawing fanart would get a lot more eyes on my shit but I just do not want to so I am not going to) but also IF I had the ability to use all the time I'm currently at work on art stuff I probably Would gain a big enough following to at least get a decent amount of commissions- I mean I'm skilled enough as an artist that it's definitely not unthinkable- but ALSO I cannot afford to quit my job or take the time off of work to Have enough energy to churn out art pieces consistently enough to build a following and get customers.
In conclusion: my life is a Sisyphean nightmare of no money and no time but have to go to job that steals all my time to get enough money to barely stay afloat because the only other option is completely sinking and that is not something I will accept.
#ramblings of an arrow#anyways I've got a couple art things I'm working on now that I'll probably post soon-ish#depending on how much time I have in the coming weekends#my boss is just being kinda absolutely ridiculous and even tho my job tasks do not require me to be onsite 100% of the time#my boss has said I am not allowed to go home and do the rest of my shit there for the last few hours of the day#which is stupid#or like I can't log on before I drive to work and see what I can get done from home before going onsite#WHICH IS RIDICULOUS#why does it matter HOW the work gets done as long as it GETS DONE???#I fucking swear when I move or when y'all fire me b/c you think I'm slacking you're gonna have to hire like at least 2 ppl to replace me#and then you're gonna regret everything#because I am fucking GOOD AT MY JOB#anyways just sitting here with the knowledge that I definitely can do art fast enough when I have sufficient energy#that if I spent the time I am at work working on art instead#and I was able to make money off of that art#I would earn at least double what I'm making at this boring af job that I REALLY DON'T NEED TO BE ONSITE FOR HALF THE TIME#I could definitely live off my art if I had like... the customer base.... to be full on commissions constantly#augh#anyways I am trying not to think about it too hard but also it's hard not to#simply i love drawing and i am gonna vibrate through the floor at work and set the building on fire b/c I could be at home#drawing#instead of sitting here b/c there is *such* a large amount of this job that involves waiting for applications to just load up#and I could have my work laptop in front of me while I work on art at home during the 10 minutes it takes the inventory system to boot up#i could get so much art done simultaneously while I do actual work at my job if they let me#but noooo#anyways it's whatever I'll live#but haha if anyone wants to follow/promote my art blog/reblog my art feel free lol jk jk unless...#I don't have the time/energy to market myself but like I'm definitely not half bad as an artist#ugh i have so many things I want to drawwwwwww#if I only had the time
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Apis broke moments 2022
#GOT. PANTS#I'm very not good at taking photos in this game but I want to start skyposting just a bit#Because this game is absolutely gorgeous and I have over 500 photos on my camera roll I can't keep living like this#Anyways HI YETI SPIRIT MY BEST FRIEND :) been waiting for these pants since uh.#Gods uh. August 2021 methinks? September? Anyways they're here now I love them :) my cozy boy :)#His name is Apis! Also! Don't know if I ever mentioned that in my uh. Two other sky posts#He's my beautiful boy :)#Anyways I've been trying to learn the warrior of love music sheet on my lute and man that thing goes FAST#My phone gives me like 10? fps on a good day so learning how to play is HARD :) I applaud anyone who can actually do the music sheets#It's really fun though! I appreciate the solo space in the music shop :)#Also I want to thank whoever glitched me through the door on vault's second floor today I owe you my life :)#They're not seeing this but I wanted to say something anyways#Sorry for all the tags!!! I hope everyone is having a morbtastic Thursday :)#sky children of the light#Sky cotl#thatskygame
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ugh I was going to sit down and write tonight but now my organs are big fucking mad, which is, of course, consuming my active brain power
things I can do while my brain is preoccupied: watch TV, listen to music, play lightweight video games that don’t require much Brain
things I cannot do while my brain is preoccupied: difficult video games, creative writing, problem solving, etc
#jay speaks#if you are one of the lucky few who has never dealt with any significant pain:#let me be very clear. pain consumes a LOT of brain#I am extremely lucky that I do not experience chronic pain#but I can absolutely understand how it can sap a person of energy#i mean hell just look at the time I went to urgent care#I'd had a similar episode a couple years before that#that first time? I spent the night curled up on the bathroom floor#good times. still kinda wish it was appendicitis so I could be like yeah#it's gone it won't happen again#but no. we don't fucking know what it was but it happened twice#and i'm just waiting for it to happen again#but tbh if it does I'm hauling my ass over to my workplace and being like#give me narcs or I will take them out of the pyxis myself
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Constantly forget that the ceiling and windows are lower in the upstairs room, and think I finally know what people over six feet feel like
#I'm like a giant#Everything is so far away? The windows are lower? The fireplace is lower? I can't visualise furniture in there because my proportions are of#Not that I could get the furniture up the stairs anyway#Ah well that's the least of my problems currently I have one wall that was almost soaking wet the other night due to condensation#Which considering that that's really the only major issue in a house which dates back 400 years I'm trying to be chill about#But I am not succeeding; I'm just wandering around feeling like an utter failure because *checks notes* there is slight damp#which I already knew about because it was on the home report over a year ago when I moved in#And I had people come out and look at it and they told me exactly why and how and when it would happen#I just haven't been able to try their suggestion of the damp-proofing paint because it's winter#But then I'm also concerned because it may be because of a lack of ventilation in the chimney#But I'm going to have reduce the ventilation further because a slug somehow got in#I'm pretty fine with bugs- thank god I'm not scared of spiders because this house has the biggest I have ever seen in my entire life#And I've been to Australia#And there's the odd case of the wasps that kept coming in JUST to die on my windowsill#But slugs are a huge no; I detest them with all my heart and am only slightly better with them now#Because after a few years of mild gardening I a) know they can't catch me (haha slowcoaches) and b) they are good for compost#But they have no place inside my house LEAST OF ALL in the tiny tiny study room on the fourth floor of the building#I'm very very worried about that chimney but I can't open it up to have a look without opening a gigantic can of worms#So we're just going to have to try some tape and some paint and try not to think about the slugs#That's a long way of saying it's an absolutely darling little room and actually the issues on the chimney wall#are basically the only issues in the entire flat#So I really should NOT be complaining but yeah I still feel like I've failed myself and the house and everyone I know#Because a slug got in#The rest of the house is largely bug-proof and the windows the heating the water all work and I have a cosy bed#The roof I'm panicking about a bit but that's because I need to grow a spine and tackle my neighbours like a grown-up not long-term damage#I'm only responsible for part of the building and almost all of it is in good nick and I intend to keep it that way#But I'm still worried and if that little room falls apart it will be my fault but on the other hand it's been there since 1589 so not all me#But everything has been a failure there- none of the furniture fits up the stairs; the floor took three tries to finish; and now wet wall#First world problems EXTREMELY but also hard not to take it personally and feel like I've failed the house#Earth & Stone
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Okay I have a story.
So my birthday is this Sunday (May 26th). My mom ordered some presents for me but one of them (an Etsy purchase) was seemingly stuck in transit and might not make it on time. I tell my mom all good, no worries. She gets in contact with the seller. After a long delay in response they get back with "Right we'll fix it!" It ships, tracking label and everything, good to go! ETA May 22nd (yesterday.)
During the work day I check the tracking and it says it's been delivered in/at mailbox! I double check with my mom "hey, is it mailbox size?" because if not, I don't want it sitting at the front door where anyone walking by could snag it.
She says "it's definitely NOT mailbox size." Okay. I text my neighbors in the building "Anyone seen a package delivered? It's a birthday gift from my mom and I wanna make sure it gets inside!" Success! Floor 2 David (not to be confused with Floor 1 David) had brought it inside. Inform my mom. All good!
I stop by home briefly around 4pm, because yesterday was hot-hot and I just installed my window A/C that morning in the living room, and according to my cat cam my stupid cat hasn't spent a single second in the climate controlled living room and is, instead, voluntarily baking herself elsewhere so I'm like "great" and hop on my bike to go home (10 minute ride) to check on her.
I get in the building door. Patches is crying from the top floor because she heard me. I maneuver my bike in the front hall. The ugliest fucking 6-foot-tall cat tree(?)/totem(?)/statue(?) I've seen in my entire life is just. Standing there.
My first thought is "What the fuck is that." My second thought is "Oh fuck that is for me." I look around at the floor in case there's perhaps anything else that might, in fact, be the gift.
No. Me and Cat Pole.
It's taller than me. I turn it around to face me and its face is painted and this is, in fact, uglier than it looked from the back.
Um.
Patches is crying. So I just haul it up to my level. MAYBE it was supposed to come with twine that I wrap around it (and hide its face from the world) for Patches to scratch. Maybe this is a prank. Maybe this is an inside joke, because when my mom moved into her current house the neighborhood gifted her some ugly-as-hell totem that apparently, by tradition, each newest-comer to the neighborhood is required to have and display in their window so maybe this is a very good riff on that.
Patches rubs against it. She's not afraid of this horrid facsimile of her kind.
Great.
Meanwhile SHE'S fine and the condo is a little toasty but totally liveable so I'm like "Good, cool, you're not baking. You're having a good time. Enjoy your new sister, I guess, I'll see you later."
I go back to work because this is a problem for later me.
After work, after my run, after whatever, I get home and it's like 8:00pm and Patches is so happy to see me and the totem pole is still just. There.
I text my friends like "so a bday gift is here from my mom and it's the Biggest Ugliest cat pole I've seen in my life. Is this a bit? Did my mom go 'that's so ugly haha! send!' Maybe she genuinely found it cute. How do I navigate this." My friend Sarah has the good advice to maybe text my mom neutrally like "Got the cat pole!" and feel the waters whether my mom is like "Isn't it ugly? 😂" or "Hope Patches likes it! 🥰"
My mom goes to bed early so I don't do any of that yet. Problem for tomorrow me.
This morning, Patches wakes me up for breakfast. I get her situated and I'm staring at the fucking Cat Pole again. I wonder if my Mom's been wondering all night what I thought of it.
I take a picture. I text her.
Okay.
I get on call with my mom. I ask for clarity that the ungodly horrid thing is NOT my birthday gift and is in fact a mix-up from the seller who sent me this instead of my actual gift. She's wheezing between words. She thinks I'm being too charitable for the amount of Absolute Fucking Ugly this is. I have to gently talk her out of using the word "monstrosity" while messaging the seller asking what the hell happened here.
I tell her I need to apologize for harming her dignity with Floor 2 David, who thinks this fucking thing is my mom's idea of a great birthday gift for her to-be-28-year-old daughter.
My heart goes out to the poor soul who did actually order this cat totem and is lacking it on this lovely day.
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re ur tags fucking hell that sucks im so sorry. i shouldn't have assumed that was snarky, the notes on this post have been full of people being like WELL I SAW A DOCTOR ONE TIME AND IT DIDNT HELP! GOTCHA! so i kinda jumped to conclusions which was shitty & im sorry. i wish i had good advice for finding good doctors i literally just kept going to different ones until someone listened and giving the finger to the ones that didnt. to be fair when i got my ptsd dx i hadnt slept in a week (to avoid nightmares) and was tripping absolute balls (because apparently lack of sleep = hallucinations) so it was sort of. painfully in-your-face obvious what was going on. the doctor i was seeing before that told me i should just try to be more positive. and then refused to refill my meds unless i scheduled a pap smear. the guy before that was willing to prescribe meds but he didnt bother to look at my history and ordered meds that were straight up contraindicated for me. my most recent psychiatrist refused to prescribe anything for adhd because he thought i was ??? following a trend or something??? idk i have a good team now but it took like a decade and a lot of assholes along the way. i guess im saying hang in there/keep fighting to find a good one? and also sorry for being an ass.
aw this is actually so sweet thank you :( I'm not mad at you at all I genuine just kinda. forgot (?) doctors actually have a job besides taking your money and telling you to wait it out. I think I'm finally starting to get lucky with the doctors I have now I really appreciate the encouragement :)
#no bcus what the FUCK they just pushed me up to 80mg of prozac like two months ago#AND MY PHARMACY REFUSED TO REFILL IT FOR THIS MONTH 😭😭#i asked them to transfer the prescription to another nearby pharmacy and they just straight up didnt do that#they're also withholding my testosterone im about to go feral and bite somebody#But !! besides that I'm finally getting treatment for excessive internal scar tissue !!#which means the organ failure and endometriosis wont have me dead on the floor every time i forget to take iron#also WHAT. they didnt give you meds unless you got a PAP SMEAR?? HELLO??#I'd be bawling in your situation man I'm so scared of anything remotely related to pelvic exams#asks#once again saying I really appreciate both the apology and the encouragement it means a lot :) your point on that post still stands tho#both points co-exist. you absolutely should not be feeling miserable and doctors brushing it off does NOT mean that its ok!!#With how expensive it is just for a single doctors visit its so incredibly irresponsible to deny treatment#But even if you cant afford that its still important to br aware of your health and know whats good for you and what isnt#my gospel
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🤧🤧🤧 THIS IS EVERYTHING TO ME
genuinely at a loss for words and pumping my brain for actually coherent English things to say JAHSJKHKH so there's just brain dumping in the tags 👇
Tumblr can't deal with all of my tags RIP so here's more things I included that got thanos snapped:
this has had more cultural impact than the renaissance. not even my partner on our wedding day could move me to this degree.
not me not realising your two accounts were the same person LMAO 🤡
genuinely am so overwhelmed by the sheer prowess, beauty, intricacy of this masterpiece. bias aside (being my story and also my existing love for your art) it's just objectively the most visually stunning thing I've ever seen
I will blast my current story with copious amounts of leorook in honour of you
how tf did it take me an hour to type everything out + wrangle Tumblr
i drew a thing for this beautiful fanfic by @the-nameless-ramekin >:3c i 100% recommend this fic for people who enjoy crying (and beautiful writing in general!!) anyway hey rame...it's ao3 user bachstreetsolo o(-( i love your writing (i cried!!)
keep reading for rambles and alt images 🌟
fun little detail (kind of) - i gave each character clothes in a hue close to their partner's hair colour...vil's was a bit hard to work in but she has a bit of white in her hat. also sorry for having the opposite of same face syndrome
honestly i think this might be the most detailed piece i've done? even my rook birthday art wasn't this intense omg. i aim to do more detailed pieces in the future 💥 i can't keep doing flat backgrounds forever...i'll keep improving 🔥 and seriously read the fic it's crazy good
#THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL DETAILED AND THOUGHTFUL I DON'T DESERVE THIS#firstly your art is absolutely astounding holy shit#good god#the composition? use of perspective? colour?? lighting?? sense of space??#IF I WASN'T LYING DOWN UPON MY FIRST VIEWING OF THIS MASTERPIECE I WOULD'VE KEELED ONTO THE FLOOR BTW#I AM OBSESSED WITH ALL THE FINER DETAILS like their clothes being their partners' hair colour YOUR BRAIN#also ace's camera and the little heart ❤️#VIL'S INCOGNITO OUTFIT (although partially obscured)!!!!#AND ALSO?? THE FOREST IN THE BACKGROUND AND THE LIBRARY SHATTERING#IDK IF THIS WAS LIKE SPECIFICALLY PLANNED BUT HOW IN THE BACK MURAL THE 6 ANGELS ARE CLOSED OFF AND EXCLUDING THE 4 THAT FELL#WAIT ALSO. ROOK TURNING BACK BC HE'S THE ONLY ONE THAT RECOGNISES LEONA#did I mention how beautiful and immaculate your art is. yes I have but I'm gonna do it again#UGH THIS IS FLAWLESS AND IT'S REARRANGING MY BRAIN#also leorook holds head in hands oh my lord#I'M LOSING MY MIND THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY GORGEOUS AND I AM BEYOND GRATEFUL FOR THE TIME AND EFFORT YOU HAVE PUT INTO THIS#I'll give you my firstborn#my credit card info even#okay now it's time for obligatory feelings rant#frankly it is surreal seeing something related to one's story without being the person creating it it's like an out of body experience /pos#wow I have a degree in incoherency ANYWAY#this had me reminiscing#crying#I'll never forget this as long as I live. also I want it on my gravestone.#OKAY SUMMARY TIME#THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR PUTTING SO MUCH TIME LOVE AND EFFORT INTO THIS. IT IS INCOMPREHENSIBLY AMAZING.#to think that somebody appreciates your work enough to put in so many incredible intricate references and details#and devote their time and energy into producing something so gorgeous HAS ME ON THE FLOOR. CRYING.#(warning it’s Publicly Getting Vulnerable Hours™) but anyway I don’t usually think very highly of my writing#(especially tfac in particular because it took so long and I was pretty much a different person writing chapter 1 vs chapter 20)#so this destroyed me emotionally
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