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andthebubbles · 4 months

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reading earlier chapters of my own fic like it's sustenance

#p sure no one's gonna read this fic once i post it #and/or i'll get hate for it #so i'm writing it all first #we're ... distantly nearing the end of arc 2 #and we're at about 77k words atm #and there are four arcs #a/b fic #fic talk #i can't wait to write from anthony's pov in arc 4...#and once this fic is done i'm gonna write that simon/anthony fic #i miss writing anthony in this fic! he's only not been there for like 4k words or something and i already miss him lol #and i have to work out how angry i should make frederick. and... i distantly know how this section will end but as i'm tired i can't hold #onto it #which is very annoying #anyway. lemme go gif some s1 anthony because ilh #i actually can't believe how much i do lol #he really grew on me. but it's more the hair and the sheer angst that's oozing from him #oozing lol #anyway. was rereading ch2 of a/b fic and it's just. aaah. cute. the way anthony self-consciously tells benedict that he grew up on a ship #that he's more working class than merchant. and he's just waiting for benedict to like. not want to be with him anymore #but then benedict says he doesn't care about that. and anthony is floored by it #but as you already learn in the next chapter- benedict already thinks that anthony isn't good enough #that he's someone special but it can't ever be something more #like. i think that's right. no he doesn't care that he's of a lower social class. but does he want to court him? absolutely not

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werebutch · 2 years

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All my dad can do is mope around about how he’s such a disappointment to everybody and he can’t do anything good in life etc etc and so many woe is me apologies. He will apologize and insult himself a million times before trying to actually improve his behavior. I am so fed up with him being like this. If he’s so horrible then why doesn’t he just kill himself. One last hurrah of self pity.

#he’s like. I’ve already traumatized you and failed you so much.. why even try anymore.. like.#yeah the neglect was fucking insane in my younger teens but he’s capable of pulling himself out of the depression slump by now #if he even TRIED a little bit. but he won’t because of this worthless self pity #how do you think I stopped myself from actually committing suicide? I realized that I have people that depend on me #and it’s largely up to me to improve many aspects of my life. and it wasn’t pretty. it took me a long time and it’s not finished. but I’m wa #way better than I was before because I just tried. I didn’t want to leave my sisters behind to fend for themselves. he shouldn’t either #this is why I’ve stepped up as a parent even though I shouldn’t have to. I can’t selfishly wallow in my own sadness when there are people #who need me #I’ve been understanding. I’ve given him time to mourn all he’s lost. but it’s time that he listens to me like I’ve been begging him to do #for almost 10 years now #the only reason I had the above realization was BECAUSE of the neglect. I was going through so much and yet all my dad could do was add #onto it

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evilgoodguys · 28 days

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he’d forgotten how much he missed that smile.

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apostate-in-an-alcove · 8 months

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Oh damn the Catholics have joined in on the war against AI "art".

#anti ai #anti ai art #ex catholic #catholic #game over guys the catholic church is onto your bullshit lol

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robyn-i-guess · 20 days

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liking someone platonically is so embarrassing like. yeah i admire you. yeah i think about you all the time. yeah i look forward to every time i see you even if it's only for a minute. yeah it's all platonic and yeah i couldn't explain this because it'd sound romantic. fucking hell

#this is secretly a positivity post #aromantic #aromantism #platonic crush #robyn-i-guess #adding onto these tags as i think some people might not understand #this is about platonic crushes #not just loving your friends but genuinely being obsessed with them in a way that's still platonic #i'm finally muting this post #sorry friends i hope you all have good luck with your feelings

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apollos-boyfriend · 7 months

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something they don’t tell you about being autistic is that every character you write WILL end up autistic/autistic-coded whether you like it or not

#icarus speaks #thinking about orion’s belt!purp #i’ve made her so fucking autistic on complete accident 😭#just bc i project so much onto cpurp in general

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ph-cutie · 5 months

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is wet&wild liquid eyeliner part of the male dungeongoer starter kit or something

#dungeon meshi #ive only seen glimpses of the anime that have migrated onto tumblr but golly jeepers.

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iscariotapologist · 4 months

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today in church one of the priests referred to trans people as "those who are growing into the gender they were called to be" and i'm kind of enjoying the idea of like....divinely ordained top surgery

#if god thinks i should get top surgery he needs to venmo me $9000 usd #there was someone in the gay social hour who said she had gotten kicked out of multiple catholic churches (for being trans)#and her therapist recommended this church specifically....#going into affirming churches still makes me a little emotional if i am being fully honest. if you have an affirming religious space #i hope you can hold onto that shit with your life #anyway. charming way to think about it i like it more than the bread and wine one personally #me #edit: to clarify this was at an episcopalian church

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sunbloomdew · 1 year

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do you ever see a person and you are overcome with incredible fondness? and you just think "oh." but not in a romantic or sexual way you are just filled with warmth and it makes you happy, it just does. and you think "i'm so happy you exist. i'm happy you are somewhere out there in the world, doing your thing". it's love but also not entirely

like people are lovely and i feel it in my entire chest like a burning candle that smells like roses and a sunny day

#on love #aroace experiences #aroace #aromantic #asexual #aspec #aroacespec #sunbloom talks #<3 #just late night revelations #i like love and i love people :)#edit: loveless aros friendly btw #i think that's what i meant when i said love but not really all those months ago #“incredible fondness” is the phrase i really like instead of love #people need to stop coming onto this post being like “nO!! this IS love!!!” shut up you dont know me. maybe it is maybe its not #this was about personal experiences and it blew up somehow unfortunately lol

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sexhaver · 1 year

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