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reading earlier chapters of my own fic like it's sustenance
#p sure no one's gonna read this fic once i post it#and/or i'll get hate for it#so i'm writing it all first#we're ... distantly nearing the end of arc 2#and we're at about 77k words atm#and there are four arcs#a/b fic#fic talk#i can't wait to write from anthony's pov in arc 4...#and once this fic is done i'm gonna write that simon/anthony fic#i miss writing anthony in this fic! he's only not been there for like 4k words or something and i already miss him lol#and i have to work out how angry i should make frederick. and... i distantly know how this section will end but as i'm tired i can't hold#onto it#which is very annoying#anyway. lemme go gif some s1 anthony because ilh#i actually can't believe how much i do lol#he really grew on me. but it's more the hair and the sheer angst that's oozing from him#oozing lol#anyway. was rereading ch2 of a/b fic and it's just. aaah. cute. the way anthony self-consciously tells benedict that he grew up on a ship#that he's more working class than merchant. and he's just waiting for benedict to like. not want to be with him anymore#but then benedict says he doesn't care about that. and anthony is floored by it#but as you already learn in the next chapter- benedict already thinks that anthony isn't good enough#that he's someone special but it can't ever be something more#like. i think that's right. no he doesn't care that he's of a lower social class. but does he want to court him? absolutely not
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All my dad can do is mope around about how he’s such a disappointment to everybody and he can’t do anything good in life etc etc and so many woe is me apologies. He will apologize and insult himself a million times before trying to actually improve his behavior. I am so fed up with him being like this. If he’s so horrible then why doesn’t he just kill himself. One last hurrah of self pity.
#he’s like. I’ve already traumatized you and failed you so much.. why even try anymore.. like.#yeah the neglect was fucking insane in my younger teens but he’s capable of pulling himself out of the depression slump by now#if he even TRIED a little bit. but he won’t because of this worthless self pity#how do you think I stopped myself from actually committing suicide? I realized that I have people that depend on me#and it’s largely up to me to improve many aspects of my life. and it wasn’t pretty. it took me a long time and it’s not finished. but I’m wa#way better than I was before because I just tried. I didn’t want to leave my sisters behind to fend for themselves. he shouldn’t either#this is why I’ve stepped up as a parent even though I shouldn’t have to. I can’t selfishly wallow in my own sadness when there are people#who need me#I’ve been understanding. I’ve given him time to mourn all he’s lost. but it’s time that he listens to me like I’ve been begging him to do#for almost 10 years now#the only reason I had the above realization was BECAUSE of the neglect. I was going through so much and yet all my dad could do was add#onto it
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he’d forgotten how much he missed that smile.
#I physically cannot stop drawing fanart send help#gravity falls#stanley pines#stanford pines#mabel pines#Art Of The Sun Chip#the book of bill#grunkle stan#ford pines#gravity falls fanart#artists on tumblr#art#drawing#stan pines#fanart#my art#doodle#illustration#procreate#comic#please don't repost my artwork onto other sites thank you!
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liking someone platonically is so embarrassing like. yeah i admire you. yeah i think about you all the time. yeah i look forward to every time i see you even if it's only for a minute. yeah it's all platonic and yeah i couldn't explain this because it'd sound romantic. fucking hell
#this is secretly a positivity post#aromantic#aromantism#platonic crush#robyn-i-guess#adding onto these tags as i think some people might not understand#this is about platonic crushes#not just loving your friends but genuinely being obsessed with them in a way that's still platonic#i'm finally muting this post#sorry friends i hope you all have good luck with your feelings
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The worst trauma comes from those who you love
#gravity falls#book of bill#ford pines#stanford pines#bill cipher#billford#stanley pines#stan pines#grunkle Stan#the pines twins#tw stan#genuially was hard drawing that last panel cause it kept freaking me out#ptsd guy meme#No ford did not jork it he’s just a nerd who gets nerd magazines#based off those pop teen magazines from the 2000s#sea grunkles#yeah this joke has been beat to death but idc#comic practice#I fucked up which hand was holding the box oops#uhhh ignore that#trigonometry is a ridiculously hard word to fit onto anything#‘that’s not a right angle’ YOUR MOMS NOT A RIGHT ANGLE#it was in fact NOT right for him#get it
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Oh damn the Catholics have joined in on the war against AI "art".
#anti ai#anti ai art#ex catholic#catholic#game over guys the catholic church is onto your bullshit lol
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something they don’t tell you about being autistic is that every character you write WILL end up autistic/autistic-coded whether you like it or not
#icarus speaks#thinking about orion’s belt!purp#i’ve made her so fucking autistic on complete accident 😭#just bc i project so much onto cpurp in general
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is wet&wild liquid eyeliner part of the male dungeongoer starter kit or something
#dungeon meshi#ive only seen glimpses of the anime that have migrated onto tumblr but golly jeepers.
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updates from the stan o' war
#gravity falls#stanford pines#and stan is. implied ? she's there in spirit ig#lab creations#I have been having kind of a rough go of it physically so this is me projecting onto ford again
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Twitter seemed to really insanely (Unreasonably) like this one so I guess I will post it here also
I was just silly doodling a strange experience I have and apparently I am not the only person who has it because it's currently at 82 Thousand likes and Climbing and it has boosted my measly little six hundred and seventy follower number on there to like almost 800 and like. I Don't Understand gjfjfhdsg
Edit Hey what the Hell. Don't blow up on TWO platforms that's Illegal. Stop It
#doodles#my art#my artwork#funny#The gods just decided to beam the intense clout beam directly onto me for a day i guess#Watch it get like 3 notes on here though jffhdhdhs
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The way Jinx honored Isha
#😭😭😭😭#I’m obsessed jinx designed this after her#I still wanted more though#that was HER BABY#she held on to Claggor’s goggles for years but isn’t actively holding onto something of isha#also this is one of the only acknowledgments of isha after her death#like arcane seriously#she was like a sister to vi#AND one of Sevika’s babies#she deserved MORE#isha and jinx#arcane isha#arcane#arcane league of legends#league of legends arcane#jinx and isha#isha arcane#jinx#arcane jinx#jinx arcane#jinx league of legends#arcane 2#season 2 arcane
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he was his father's greatest creation.
#Beautiful Boy by John Lennon was made for them actually#gravity falls#fiddleford mcgucket#Art Of The Sun Chip#the book of bill#gravity falls fanart#fiddleford friday#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#gravityfalls#tate mcgucket#artists on tumblr#art#drawing#fanart#my art#doodle#illustration#procreate#comic#please don't repost my artwork onto other sites thank you!
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do you ever see a person and you are overcome with incredible fondness? and you just think "oh." but not in a romantic or sexual way you are just filled with warmth and it makes you happy, it just does. and you think "i'm so happy you exist. i'm happy you are somewhere out there in the world, doing your thing". it's love but also not entirely
like people are lovely and i feel it in my entire chest like a burning candle that smells like roses and a sunny day
#on love#aroace experiences#aroace#aromantic#asexual#aspec#aroacespec#sunbloom talks#<3#just late night revelations#i like love and i love people :)#edit: loveless aros friendly btw#i think that's what i meant when i said love but not really all those months ago#“incredible fondness” is the phrase i really like instead of love#people need to stop coming onto this post being like “nO!! this IS love!!!” shut up you dont know me. maybe it is maybe its not#this was about personal experiences and it blew up somehow unfortunately lol
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cannot even begin to imagine the Blade Runner cyberpunk shit this ladybug i found on my RGB keyboard was going through
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couldnt draw my thang for mid-autumn so treated myself to a calne redesign instead
#calne ca#hatsune miku#VOCALOID#cw: body horror#<- And I Fucking Mean That We Are Not Fucking Around Today#well we are. as in I drew this as a fuckaround treat for myself#but the body horror tag is the most warranted its ever been on this blog#ask to tag#I am as ever on my journey to make calne ca Worse. her OG version is too cool. even the crab ver is too cool#I need her to be worse to look at. I am also getting myself into to mood to test my hand at boarding a pmv for my friend's cover#I think my thought for this was ''I should try and give her a more insectoid bodyplan''#which in this mostly means gently three-part body and six limbs (my favourite amount of limbs to draw rn)#actually almost gave her eight but didnt like how that silhouette came out so I mermaided her uh. abdomen I guess#though maybe next time I do this I should push that idea more. the head and torso are still very distinct for one unified part#I feel like one of my old attempts was onto something with like. a more horizontal body plan... well! live and learn etc#happy late mid autumn I guess. I should play with touys about it... I miss model kits. mayhaps...
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