#I'm a nobody
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I feel so disconnected all the time.
#what am I doing wrong#why do I feel like I am speaking to myself most of the time#I'm a nobody#I just want to feel like I belong#or at least that people like me#please talk to me#please tag me in things#please just make me feel like I'm not alone#I know that's a hard thing to do though#I feel like I was born alone#I wish I were a goddess but I know I'm just ghost#and I feel like such an ungrateful bitch#“you managed to cajole some of your friends into doing something just last week. Why can't that be enough?”#because it was for my fucking birthday and I didn't even tell them that#because I worked all day and felt completely drained physically and mentally after#and yet it was one of the best birthdays of my life#much better then all the ones I spent alone#I have no clue where this was going and normally it would get saved to my drafts for nobody to ever see#but I am feeling so confident that if I post this then nobody who cares would ever see it that I'm about to do something stupid#I guess the mask cracking is the first step in getting better but also it's gonna be real bad
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Hey please read.
I'm going to temporarily close my ask box because of how many spams 'asks' I get from Palestine accounts. I support Palestine, but my whole account is not about politics. This is my account, and I get to talk/post about whatever pleases me.
If you're interested in helping these people out, by all means, do so. I encourage you to do so.
To anyone who is a Palatine and has an account, please make your own posts and spread your awareness. I'm not the person to ask to do so since I barely have the energy for my own personal problems. Please respect my boundaries.
Have a nice day 💚
#please read#I mean it#I'm not a political person#just an artist#who has personal needs#help Palestine#but don't come to me#I'm a nobody#please respect my boundaries
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I wish we had more female characters like Eleanor Shellstrop. One of the most unlikable people you've ever met. Read a Buzzfeed article on most rude things you can do on a daily basis and decided to use that as a list of goals. Makes everyone's day worse just by being there. Dropped a margarita mix on the ground and tried to pick it up, only to get hit by a row of shopping carts which pushed her into the road where she was hit by a boner pill delivery truck, killing her instantly. Cannot keep a romantic partner despite being bisexual. Had a terrible childhood but will die before she gets therapy. Best employee at a scam company. Just the worst but also can't help but root for her to improve.
Absolute loser. Girl-failure. Bad at almost everything. Literally perfect female character.
#eleanor shellstrop#you know i was thinking about how we hold female characters to such high standards#and severely criticize bitchy female characters while praising asshole male characters#and then i remembered eleanor and realized that she is the perfect example of how to write an asshole woman that the audience likes#the worse she is the more i'm drawn to her (and honestly same for tahani)#we need more cringe-fail women who nobody likes (for good reason)#the good place#female characters#writing women#girl failure#girl loser#she's so mean#i love her#my favorite#fucking asshole#iconic#the good place eleanor#tgp#tgp eleanor#kristen bell
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is that piece of media actually bad, or is it just not following the blueprint you projected onto it? is that work actually not good, or are you just demanding something from it that is absolutely antithetical to its themes, genre, tone, and narrative goal? is that story actually poorly written, or do you just dislike that it is not the specific things you wanted from it that it never set out to be, never was, and never is going to become? is it actually bad, or is it actually well-executed and you just dislike the story it chose to be because it isn't catering to your specific desires and expectations?
#This was prompted by a specific thing but it is also about dozens and dozens of things#Former Prime Queue-sector of the Trust#ETA: now that it's been months and this is going around again while certain conversations happen in other fandoms I'm in#It's good to clarify what specifically set off this post even tho it applies to many things. But this was about someone#saying Midst is thematically and narratively incoherent bc it wasn't “everyone is miserable forever and nobody gets better” like they wante
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they'll fund a genocide and let their poor regions be destroyed. don't fucking forgive them for that.
my hometown is completely gone from what pictures i can find of it, i have not heard from my family (including aunts, uncles, parents, one sibling, and a grandparent), and the infrastructure in the mountain communities is wiped out. i cannot stress how catastrophic this is, or how difficult it will be for these communities to build back. i am angry, and scared, and heartbroken by everything that's happened.
and our government is spending it's money to fund a genocide.
free palestine, and don't be complicit. realize that this is not something happening that doesn't affect you--although it shouldn't take this to care about the deaths of thousands of people anyway.
#sorry for this angry rant i am not having a good week#hurricane helene#helene#free palestine#laurie thoughts#maybe i'm just screaming to the void and nobody will care since that's how it's gone so far#i could go on and on about how fucked this is not to mention the politics of how we got here#i am so fucking done
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headcanon that percy stays ready to clock the minotaur. this man would pause his lunch break to give this bull it's horn a third time. this man would dehydrate for two days if it meant he could murk this bull at the end of it. this man's beef with this walking beef is so grandeur. it was the first monster he killed the moment the battle of mamhattan began. this is one of percy's consistent bloodlust moments and no one will ever fault him for it.
#“oh my gods it's the minotaur what are we gonna do—IS THAT PERCY STABBING THE MINOTAUR WITH ITS OWN HORN?”#deadass nobody would fault percy for this life long mission to kill the minotaur#percy is essentially the grim repear for this monster#annabeth may not want to him to forego all morals in battle#but she will not stop fault him for having it out for that bull#i'm telling you#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo text post#pjo#pjo headcanon#percy jackson#percy jackson headcanon#percy jackson bloodlust#you cant change my mind
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Vent #2
Hahahaha I don't really feel like existing hahahaha! 😃
HAHAHA I DIDN'T ASKED TO BE BORN HAHAHA! 😃
#tw vent post#Tw I didn't ask to be born#god hates me#i wish i was pretty#I'm used#broken little child#sad thoughts#i'm not worthy#Used and abused#kill me#Ugly and useless#i don't belong here#tw yelling#someone help#i'm in hell#nobody cares about me#nobody loves me#i'm a nobody#Alone#actually adhd#Single and broken
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siri, play animal by aurora
#it's their song#i can NOT tell if this looks kinda stupid btw so nobody tell me#art#my art#fanart#interview with the vampire#iwtv#iwtv fanart#armand#daniel molloy#devils minion#idk what it is about them that compels me to work in entirely different styles and colours than my usual stuff but i'm not complaining#it's a lot of fun :)#portfolio
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the easy grip on the knife. the leg over the seat. the hand over the other seat. the sassy "come get it" move. you know the bitch is smiling behind that mask even as he said the line.
#i can't believe i'm saying this#DEADPOOL CAN GET IT#Logan I'm sobbing I understand why you lunged at him#I would too bestie#it's the sass for me folks#paint that car white as much as they painted it red my god#a deadpool thirst post? from me? more likely than you'd think#this is a branch in realities i know it#i've never had Feelings for this motherfucker until this movie#all i'm left with is anger now because WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM ME#camera crew could have just made it landscape but noooooo they had to do a medium shot of this son of a bitch#i'm sending an especially affectionate fuck you in ryan reynolds' direction#i love how you love deadpool#deadpool#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#wade wilson#logan howlett#poolverine#deadclaws#don't get me wrong i've always adored deadpool's personality. nobody's that hilarious and not have humongous balls i mean trauma.#but i've never went 'why he kinda' until this specific shot right here#@ camera crew why the fuck did you zoom in? WHY?#for me? well it's infuriating#do it again#gif is credit to the owner#30 tags aren't enough for me to dismantle how this shot made me feel. tumblr you gotta update#damn tumblr i'm tryna feed a village here#guys just find my other post
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fuck it since my birthday is in like one day i'm gonna use my birthday wish to tell y'all to look at the shit going on in southern Appalachia right now after Hurricane Helene. look at it and talk about it and spread resources about it like wildfire because nobody else fucking is and it feels like we're on our own out here.
there are people who are stranded in hazardous areas that are still safer than trying to leave by driving on the increasingly hazardous roads. i'm personally going into my third day without electricity at this point, and haven't been able to get any gas for a generator to even keep our fridge working. there are very few places with power or running water, and cell service has just barely been restored in the last hour. ground crews are working hard to repair things, but there are many, many areas that are entirely inaccessible that may not receive these fixes for several more days if not weeks. i'm afraid my own neighborhood might become one of those areas if repairs don't get to us soon, and since we're much more rural i have a difficult time trying to be optimistic about it.
we're very far inland. i guarantee you damn near everybody here was expecting a little more rain and wind like we usually get during hurricane season, if they even heard about the hurricane beforehand in the first place since most people only got about a twelve hour notice before landfall- after several major areas had already been flooded. our terrain protects us from most major weather events- most locals have never encountered a single tornado or legitimate tornado warning in our entire lives. nobody i've talked to or heard from about it seems to have had any idea that it would be this bad. everybody's wishing that they took it more seriously, but we've never, ever had to before. i've seen people comparing it to Hurricane Katrina and honestly i'm not sure if that's all too inaccurate. today while looking for a single working gas station i drove by a military helicopter parked in front of the elementary school i went to when i was little.
please for the love of god, talk about us. talk about the good memories you had here or the beauty of our mountains, and talk about how devastated we are as we watch historic structures, buildings, and entire towns get wiped from the face of the earth like they were never even there. stop dismissing us as uneducated hicks and rednecks and hilllbillies and fucking help us.
r/Asheville resource/updates megathread (Asheville is the largest city in western North Carolina)
How to set up disaster roaming for cell service
WLOS Live updates
Duke Energy power outage map
WNC Landslide Map
Hotels accepting locals
Emergency shelter locations
I live in western North Carolina so all of my own resources are centered around that. If anybody from the other impacted areas has additional sources they'd like to add, please don't hesitate to do so.
#hurricane helene#natural disaster#appalachia#tropical storm#north carolina#tropical storm helene#i've been reblogging a good few posts about it on my main blog (@spingtail) but i get more reach here#i understand that it's hard to get actual resources for people here with how hard we've been hit & very spotty cell service anywhere#which is why i ask that yall at the very least just TALK about it. dont let us disappear quietly. holler about us until we can holler back#i'm sorry if this post comes off as aggressive or something unfortunately i've hit the point of disaster grief where i'm angry about it#and especially about the fucking silence. asheville was cut off from the world through all means except air for several days#chimney rock is fully gone and it feels like nobodys talking about it except the folks who live here & the loved ones who cant contact them#fuckass storm
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thinking very casually about how in one of felassan's codex entries he writes that solas always thought mythal would join them one day, and that he believed it so strongly that he made a place for her near him in the fade, but she never came, and he never saw her again. thinking even more casually about how all these many centuries later solas seems stunned when lavellan comes to join him. comes to stand at his side and support him, as he hoped mythal would do. how stunned he is when the person he loves (who he did not even dare hope would join him, this time) does exactly that. in the fade, for the rest of their days.
#he did not ask her to join him!!!! he didn't have to!!!!!#and I'm fine about it!!!! I mean nobody talk to me or look at me but I'm fine about it!!!#solavellan#solas#solavellan hell#datv#dragon age#da4#veilguard#da:tv#solas dragon age#solas x lavellan#solas x inquisitor#solasmance#datv spoilers#veilguard spoilers#dragon age the veilguard#mythal#felassan
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Honestly, you should've known better. Soap was never one to take a joke and drop it, and joke like this? You should've know he'd take it and run with it. You just never thought it'd go this far.
Someone had brought cupcakes, the kind that come with those gaudy plastic rings meant for little kids. You and Soap had ended up with the same ring on top of your cupcakes.
"Oh, hey. They're the same. Guess we're married now."
It was a joke. Something you had laughed off, before ducking out of the break room, missing the way Soap's eyes followed you. Missing the way he stared at you, something dark and hungry in those baby blues.
The next morning, Soap's waiting at your desk with flowers and a coffee. He gives you a bright smile, watching you as you take the flowers with a smile.
"Oh, my favorite! How'd you know?"
"I know all yer favorites. Part of bein' a good husband, aye?"
That makes you pause, coffee halfway to your lips. Husband? It takes you a second to realize he's referring to the joke you made yesterday, and you give him a sheepish smile, shaking your head.
"Johnny, that was a joke. I wasn't -"
"I've got to go. But I'll get ye later. Make a proper wife of ye before the day's over," he promises, leaning down to kiss your cheek.
You don't even have a chance to argue. And when he shows up with Ghost at the end of the day, all you can think to ask is why Ghost is there.
"Johnny said you needed a witness," is Ghost's reply.
#john soap mactavish#call of duty#john soap mactavish x reader#soap x reader#soap cod#he's a bit of a freak your honor#don't ask how he knows your favorite order. totally hasn't been stalking you for the last week. defiently didn't ask Ghost for help#hope nobody reads my tags because i'm over here wigging out lmao#only smashed this out because i'm avoiding my two month old wip#my writing
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reading the iliad is crazy bc it just wildly flip flops between divine sitcom, the horrors of war, the most beautiful description you've ever read and a list of names that could've been 20 items shorter but absolutely should not be
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*writes on chalkboard* i'm very sorry for making them look like reagan ridley and ms frizzle
#and i'm very sorry for dyking them up. it will happen again#ragatha#pomni#buttonblossom#art#tadc#the amazing digital circus#my art#tadc fanart#tadc pomni#tadc ragatha#tadc human#tadc humanization#redesign#human version#pomni x ragatha#jesterdoll#ragapom#literally nobody look at this i'm so embarassed.
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cringe culture needs to die because when i was 17 i printed out the entire player's handbook and monster manual with my unlimited school printing credit and also wore a black velvet cape the first time i ever DMed and somehow still thought i was too cool for dnd novels. who tf did i think i was fooling
#ramble#i'm 90% sure i still have it in a folder in my desk somewhere#to clarify NONE of these things are cringe but i was embarrassed bc doing anything when you're 17 is embarrassing#i'm not even exaggerating that i've become so much happier just doing whatever i want and not apologising for it#i hate that it took me 20 years to realise that people are going to think i'm weird no matter what so there's no point masking anymore#and also that i didn't read a dnd novel until this year bc i was missing out#anyway i hate tiktok for bringing back bullying in a different more terrible way#go larping nobody cares#tl;dr you will BLOSSOM the moment you stop caring
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tw vent personal stuff
I Hate My Body I hate My Body I hate my body I hate my body I hate my body I hate my body I hate my body I hate my body I hate my body I hate my body I hate my body I hate my body I hate my body I hate my body I hate my body I hate my body I hate my body I hate my body I hate my body I hate my body I hate my body I hate my body I hate my body I hate my body I hate my body I hate hate my my body I hate my body I hate my body I hate my body I hate my body I hate my body I Don't Exist I Don't Exist I Don't Exist I don't exist I don't exist I don't exist I don't exist I don't exist I don't exist I don't exist I don't exist I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die
#tw vent#tw ed#tw sui vent#Alone#tw depressing thoughts#sorry for being depressing#tw anxiety#nobody loves me#numb little bug#Broken little Child#i hate my life#i wanna lose weight#i wanna be skinnier#i don't exist#i hate my body#numb body#I'm a nobody#Nobody cares about me#Nobody loves me
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