#i could go on and on about how fucked this is not to mention the politics of how we got here

[ninikrumbs]

The look of love, the rush of blood

Sukuna x reader. est relationship. down bad Sukuna

BoyfriendSukuna wasn't clingy or needy. He's not the type to cry over a day without seeing you, nor is he the type to pester you with constant messages or calls about your where abouts and annoying you to come see him. A simple text about your plans for the day or even a post it note on the fridge -for the days you slept over which was almost everyday - was enough for him. He was possessive, but he can survive a day or two without you.

Or so he thought.

BoyfriendSukuna was dropping you off your best friends house for an impromptu sleepover. Your best friend just got dumped and now you need to be her shoulder to cry on or whatever. That was fine or at least it was until you mentioned that you didn't know when you'll be sleeping over his place cause apparently these things "take time" and are "unpredictable."

Surprising even himself, he didn't like that. He didn't like that at all. He realized if you weren't sleeping over his apartment, he'd usually crawl into your bed late at night. Still he thought it wasn't a necessity, that falling asleep next to you was a want not a need. Yet now that he doesn't have that option..

Vein throbbing, Sukuna can give your best friend tonight, but tomorrow you will be back on his bed where you belong.

You were saying your final goodbyes in front of his car window. Eyes bright and laced with a warmth he believes you only reserve for him, "Bye, Kuna! Ill give you updates everyday!"

He grits his teeth. Why did it sound like you were going on a month long cruise?

"Oi." He calls out before you could turn around.

Tilting your head, "Kuna?"

For a moment he kept quiet. Carmine eyes taking their time drinking you in, having his fill of you as if he won't see you for weeks. They snap to back to your pretty face, tracing every slope and curve. "Come closer, brat."

And you do which makes his lips curl a bit. Always so obedient for him.

With his left hand, his touch firm yet gentle on the back of your head as he pushes your face towards his.

Soft lips against his rough ones, kissing you long and fervently, devouring you whole in one kiss. He feels you melting into it, whimpering such pretty sounds into his mouth. The tension finally eases out of him and it takes everything in him to pull away.

"Ill pick you up tomorrow," He murmurs against your lips, breath mingling with yours.

You blink. Once. Twice, "But Kuna-"

He cuts you off with another kiss, but softer this time. Gentle even. "No buts, brat. Ill pick you up tomorrow evening at the latest. She gets no more than that. You can visit here everyday for all I care, but you're sleeping with me."

A knowing smile teases your lips, "Are you gonna miss me that much, Kuna?"

"Shut up." He grunts, rolling your eyes at how pleased you look.

You burst out laughing and he hates at how pathetically melts at the sound. How it makes his insides warm like some love sick fool.

After brushing a imaginary tear from your eye, you lean back to his face and press a soft kiss on his cheek. "Don't worry. Ill have one of our other friends sleepover tomorrow night."

"Whatever."

Your smile widens into a grin, "I'll just tell them my big bad boyfriend can't sleep without me."

"Don't you dare-"

You run towards the door before he could do anything, laughter ringing out the driveway. And the way you smile makes his chest tighten in the most pathetic way.

The moment you disappear from view. He groans, dragging a hand down his face.

Fuck.

He didn't realized he was so down bad that going home without you felt like a life sentence.

So pathetic. So damn pathetic for you.

[angelsknifeprty]

couldn't fight to save your life (but you look so cool) ❀˖꩜˚࿔ - e.w

loser!ellie x popular!reader | 3.2k words

a/n: guess who rewatched bottoms for the billionth time (me. it was me.) :p loser!ellie won't leave my mind and neither will crush by ethel cain so here's somethin' random i came up with, enjoy!

cw: cursing, bullying, a little violence, mentions of blood, two idiots that are obviously infatuated with each other, mentions of reader wanting to punch ellie for being too cute cuz they’re strange like that

˖𓂃.☘��� ݁˖

you're an angel, she's sure of it.

ellie watches with glassy eyes, practically in a trance, as you absentmindedly play with your hair. she drinks in the way your perfectly curated outfit adorns your body; you always look flawless to her. you were laughing at something your friend had said, ellie's ears straining to hear the saccharine sound over the chatter buzzing. she just heard it, and god, what she would do to have a recording of it to listen to over and over again.

the two of you weren't friends by any means, but she knew you.

most of ellie's time was spent staring at you during class or when you passed her in the hallway. her eyes would shy away every time they met yours, the intensity of your gaze leaving her a flustered mess within seconds. 

when she wasn't looking at you, her head was buried into her journal, pencil dragging fervently across the pages. her entries always had your name embedded somewhere within their sentences. it was like you were all she could think about. when she would draw, the lines and curves always morphed into you, capturing a moment of you daydreaming in class or whatever other snapshot her mind had taken of you that wouldn't stop plaguing her.

she'd listen to your conversations when she was close enough to hear - not to be a creep or anything! but how else was she supposed to learn more about you?

sure, the obvious answer would be to talk to you, but she was a nervous wreck from just seeing you. you'd only had a few brief interactions before, and she swears she almost fainted when you remembered her name when you asked her for a pen once.

while she believed the popularity contest that was high school to be ridiculous, her very low place in the school's hierarchy was a definite set-up for failure, she was certain. ellie kept to herself, mostly, aside from her few friends, but that didn't stop her from becoming the target of relentless bullying from some of the other students, the ones at the top of the food chain.

you were well-liked amongst your peers, but your popularity never merged you with those people. you were known for your sunny disposition, whereas they tormented their way to the top.

you'd seen it happen a couple of times, the sound of their jeering always catching your attention, especially when you heard them say ellie's name in that disgusting tone that made your heart ache for her. in fact, it's what snapped you out of your current conversation as an irritated, "what the fuck, williams?" sounds throughout the hallway.

in her lovestruck daze, ellie hadn't been looking where she was walking, which conveniently caused her to bump into one of them - a girl you didn't care much for, quinn was it? all you knew for sure was that she was trouble.

ellie winced and scrunched her face at the sound of her voice, internally cursing at herself because now she had to deal with her. she opened her eyes to see that everyone was looking, including you.

"shit, sorry. wasn't looking where i was going, won't happen again," ellie's tone is curt, trying to move past her and continue with her day before things got worse.

but of course, she wouldn't get let off the hook that easily; that was just her luck.

"where do you think you're going?" she probes, moving to block ellie's path. ellie has to restrain herself from rolling her eyes in her face, not wanting to escalate things if she could help it. how naive of her to think that nothing could ever be easy for her.

"c'mon, dude. i apologised. can we move on and-"

suddenly, it feels like the wind was knocked from ellie's lungs, and she's… falling?

a little stunned, she looks up from her newfound place on the floor after quinn has shoved her to the ground. all because of an accident that could have been easily brushed off and forgotten about. such a dumb fucking reason, and yet it has ellie seething.

"you should watch where you're going, williams. always lurking where nobody wants you to be." quinn spits, taunting ellie to get a rise out of her. 

it was likely that ellie's indifferent reactions to quinn's bullying irritated her, unable to fathom why ellie wouldn't buckle and submit like every other one of her unfortunate victims.

while the teasing and mean remarks were an unfortunate constant in her life, this never mellowed ellie. she was always quick-witted, her slight temper always having her ready to argue back and stand up for herself, and this time was no different.

ellie rises from the ground and delivers an equally hard shove, an irate, "what the fuck is your problem?" leaving her chapped lips. being the drama-obsessed hive mind that high schoolers were, it didn't take long for people to start crowding around the two once things intensified.

you had been watching the whole thing from afar before a wall of people began forming, not realising it'd evolve into this. you heard a pained groan rip from ellie's throat after what you presumed was the first punch being thrown. now you are only able to listen to the commotion but not see the situation, making your anxiety skyrocket. 

you liked to keep an attentive eye on ellie from a distance despite your paths rarely crossing, feeling some strange obligation to watch over her. you knew quinn and her posse of assholes always gave ellie a hard time, but she seemed to handle herself just fine, sometimes hearing one of her clever comebacks that made you giggle.

while the brawl entertained everyone else, you grew increasingly agitated. you were never one for drama and kept a relatively peaceful circle of friends, but the idea of just standing and doing nothing felt like a personal failure.

so, before you knew it, you were excusing yourself from your friends and pushing your way through the crowd to get to ellie.

once you breached the crowd, you found yourself in the eye of the storm, your eyes wide. after a while of their struggle against each other, quinn was now situated on top of ellie as she delivered a particularly hard punch to ellie's cheek. the wounded groan she let out was what urged you out of your frozen shock, rushing towards the tangle of violent limbs, grabbing quinn's shoulder and pulling her off of ellie with a hard tug.

"get the hell away from her!" you yell, trying hard to ignore the disappointed groans of the audience as you interrupt their entertainment. "assholes." you thought to yourself. 

wiping the blood from her nose, the sight of the trickling crimson more satisfying to you than it should be, quinn looks at you confused, clearly not expecting you of all people to come to ellie's rescue.

"the fuck are you doing?" she sneers, looking between you and ellie, who is still on the floor, propping herself up on her elbows with the nastiest glare you'd ever seen on her face. "don't tell me you actually give a shit about this loser-"

"back off, don't touch her," you snarled, pushing past her to kneel beside ellie on the ground.

you had this untouchable air about you, something that was a little lost on you but not to quinn. she knew you had people to back you up, her targets usually being the loner outcast types, being the coward she is. the same ruthlessness ellie received was not given to you, an irritated scoff being all you heard from quinn. she was the least of your worries right now.

"are you okay?" you ask, a little breathless from the adrenaline of putting yourself in the middle of a fight in front of an audience. your brows furrowed at how quickly deep purples and blues had already started blooming around ellie's eye and her freckled cheek. 

ellie looked at you blankly, her mouth opening and closing like a fish, and she tried desperately to find any words to say to you. how was she supposed to think straight? the rush from the fight and now having her crush come to her aid rendered her speechless. her lack of answer only worried you more, pinning her silence on being stunned from the fight still.

"ellie, i need you to answer-"

you were cut off by the sound of the principal pushing his way through the mass, his stern voice demanding that the two battered girls follow him to his office.

you watch doe-eyed and nervous as ellie pushes herself off the floor with a wince, looking at you with eyes that have so much to say yet a mouth that cannot quite verbalise it. but she couldn't stay, so without a word, she reluctantly trudged behind the principal with her head hanging low, utterly fed up, and man, that one punch hurt.

˖𓂃.☘︎ ݁˖

you peered around the corner to the row of chairs lined up outside the principal's office, eyes fixated on ellie's slumped figure occupying one of them. you had been watching for at least a minute or two now despite there being the opportunity to approach her like any other normal person. but this was comfortable for you, familiar. if ellie believed she was the only person with a staring problem, and she did, then she was painfully wrong.

it felt routine for you to watch her like this from afar, a look in your eyes brimming with so much more than just innocent curiosity.

it was like you could sense her presence in a room, your gaze always finding her so easily amongst the hoard of other students. your eyes would rake up and down as you shamelessly drank her in, that camo jacket of hers that she wore like a safety blanket hanging loosely from her frame. she wore it infuriatingly well, paired with her unbothered demeanour that looked oh so good on her. a witty remark was always ready on the tip of her tongue when one of her tormentors dared to speak to her, her scarred brow furrowing into a scowl that made your stomach flutter.

you knew what cuteness aggression was, but that surely couldn't be what you felt now. but it made you mad how badly ellie affected you even from a distance, what was once just a silly hallway crush twisting into a near-violent obsession. you spied her fresh bruises, almost filling you with a little satisfaction. serves her right, your voice whispers quietly inside your head, as if you were scared someone could hear you. you almost wished you had been the one to give her the bruises only so you could plant two gentle kisses over the skin to soothe the sting afterwards. the deep plum colour blooming across her skin still somehow made her look pretty, and you had to take a moment to ask yourself if that was a fucked up thing to think. probably. 

suddenly becoming aware of how much of a creep you must look, lingering but not daring to approach, you decided to finally go check on her. it wouldn't feel right for you not to ensure she was okay.

ellie wonders how hard she was punched when she looks up to see you, a concerned and bashful smile on your face.

"hey, ellie. i just wanted to check on you after what happened with… y'know." 

ellie spends a moment in silence as she processes what's happening. you're fidgeting with your hands, rocking back and forth on your heels like you don't know what to do with yourself. she could have scoffed in bewilderment, as if you had any right to look so nervous standing in front of her, effortlessly beautiful and so sweet.

"ellie?" you repeat her name again, softer this time. ellie almost wants to stay silent just to hear you repeat it. but she needs to respond, fuck think, think, think-

"o-oh, hey. i uh- yeah, i'm okay. nothing i can't handle," ellie finally manages to get out. you nod in acknowledgement, tearing your eyes away for just a moment to compose yourself.

"do you mind if i sit?" you gesture to the empty chair beside her, which has her perking up almost immediately. ellie nods, a simple "sure," leaving her lips in a tone that sounded far more curt than nonchalant like she intended. really, she was just trying to focus on not bursting at the seams. you were so close to her, and now she had to keep her cool.

"thanks for stepping in earlier and pulling her off of me. you didn't have to do that."

"i wasn't just gonna stand there and watch it happen," you say it like that wasn't what anyone else would have done, what they did do. all more than happy to watch her get her ass beat just to spice up what otherwise would have been another boring school day.

"i'd say i held my own somewhat well," ellie quips, her tone a little lighter than before. you giggle softly, deciding not to remind her that she had been floored by the time you got to her. she had definitely lost the fight, and in her defence, that girl was notoriously scrappy, but fortunately for you, she made losing look so good. holding herself up on her elbows, the meanest look on her dishevelled face as she stared up at the girl with an unwavering glare.

"and what did the principal have to say about that?" you press for details, head tilting curiously. you looked like a puppy, sitting all cute and pretty next to her. ellie swore you were trying to kill her; such a simple movement made her heart rate spike. 

"got a firm slap on the wrist and the usual 'you're better than this' speech." you hum in acknowledgement, a breath of a laugh exhaling through your nose.

"well, for what it's worth, i think you gave her what she deserved." your statement caught her off guard, and she was not expecting you to condone any of what went down earlier.

"oh, you think?"

"oh definitely. the only time i see her is when she's making some poor person's life hell. i'm glad to see her get a taste of her own medicine."

ellie couldn't argue with that, shrugging in agreement as she tried to keep the pride bubbling up in her chest at bay.

"i am a little surprised, though. i wasn't expecting you to entertain a fight with her." this makes ellie raise her eyebrow inquisitively. did she not look tough enough to be in a fight or something? she knew she was nerdy, but surely she didn't look utterly defenceless, right?

"how come?" she questions, leaning back more comfortably in her chair, legs settling into her usual manspread that had you reeling just from seeing it from a distance, never mind being right next to her. your eyes darted around the hallway, desperately trying to focus on the conversation.

"well, y'know, i see you around, and you're usually so…" you trail off as you wave your hands in soft, fluid motions, whimsical and a little silly as you try to explain the softer side of her you had always noticed in what looked like some strange interpretive dance. 

"but back there, you were all like-" you're swinging your arms a little more frantically now, a poor recreation of some generic karate moves. you would feel like a total idiot and you very much do if it wasn't for the cheesy smile spreading across ellie's face at the sight of you.

"yeah?" she feels like she's getting lightheaded from how giddy she feels.

"yeah." you parrot back sheepishly, twiddling your thumbs to ground yourself. so cute.  

all ellie seemed to be good for was being riled up by the other students, so hearing that you had acknowledged her enough to make up your own mind about her made her feel like she was short circuiting. she was quickly snapped out of her temporary high when she felt a sharp sting on the side of her face, her sappy smile irritating her bruises.

"shit, are you okay?" you ask worriedly as she tries to brush it off with a wave of her hand.

"yeah yeah, i'm fine; this could've been way worse. you don't need to worry." her thoughts didn't quite match up with her words, though, silently begging that you'd keep doting on her. she was basking in having your undivided attention.

"ellie, these bruises are pretty big, i'm allowed to worry after i watched you get your ass handed to you," you ramble, ignoring her dismissal. 

"hey! she didn't have that much of an upper hand against me-"

you don’t reply, your hand absentmindedly reaches out to cup her jaw, being careful not to press into where it hurts as you inspect her injuries.

"has anybody checked over you yet?"

she feels like she's on fire, palms sweaty as she silently lets you examine her. she barely managed to respond to your question with a simple "no." she swore she could feel everywhere your eyes landed on her face, and fuck, your hand is so warm. the mess of a girl was surprised that steam wasn't radiating from where your skin met. 

as you give her face a final once over, you catch that frazzled deer-in-headlights look in her eyes and realise what you were doing, immediately removing your hand. if ellie wasn't frozen in place, she would have chased your touch, already missing the feeling of you on her skin.

"s-sorry, i just- i didn't mean to touch you out of nowhere. i was checking for my own peace of mind and got carried away-"

"no!" ellie interrupts a little louder than she meant to. "i mean, it's totally fine," her voice is shaking, "thank you for caring. you don't even really know me, and you're doing all this for me, so thank you."

her abruptness halts your apologetic rambling. you look at her wide-eyed for a moment before letting a soft little smile tug up the corner of your lips. if only she knew just how well you'd come to know her from all of your stolen glances, committing her to memory like she would disappear.

"don't mention it."

silence falls over you, both fidgeting shyly as you struggle to find something else to say. but that was okay. the giddy smiles you were both biting back said everything they needed to.

"i should probably get back to class, i've been holding this hall pass hostage for a while so i could come to check on you." you huff out a little disappointed sigh, reluctant to leave now that you'd finally been able to talk to ellie after so long spent longingly glancing in her direction.

"oh right, sorry. don't let me keep you, like i said i'm fine, really." ellie felt herself deflate a little now that she knew you had to go. the word pathetic came to mind when she realised how silly she must have looked, sulking like a kicked dog.

"i'm glad you're okay, ellie. i'll um… i'll see you around, yeah?" you couldn't help the hopefulness seeping through your words, and ellie noticed. the slight lilt in your sweet voice, your awkward shifting as you stood up, ready to leave.

"yeah, i'll see you around." ellie smiled up at you, ignoring the sharp twinge where her bruises were. maybe she should get beat up more often if it meant getting your attention.

[bueckersworld]

hey could you do a angst one shot of how paige and reader are kinda toxic but they always get into arguments but they had a particular one that causes them to break up maybe even if reader or paige cheats anyways then at the end they always go back to eachother no matter how toxic if is

ALWAYS COMING BACK

SYNOPSIS: you and paige have a toxic, all-consuming relationship that finally breaks after she cheats on you. despite the pain, she shows up at your door, angry and desperate, and the two of you crash back into each other like always. no matter how much it hurts, you both keep coming back

WARNING(S): smut - mdni, angst, strap referred to as paige’s dick, mentions of infidelity/cheating, toxicity, profanity.

WORD COUNT: 2.9k. info. masterlist. taglist.

────୨ৎ────

you and paige have always had this thing—this unspoken understanding that things between you are never easy, but they’re always fiery, always intense. you fight like hell one moment, and the next, you’re clinging to each other as if you can’t breathe without the other. it’s the kind of relationship where every argument feels like the last, but it’s never really over. not with paige. not with you.

but tonight, something shifts. tonight, everything cracks.

it started small, like it always does—just an offhand comment about something insignificant, something that usually wouldn’t matter. but with paige, everything becomes something. it always escalates, and you can’t ever just let things slide.

“you’re being ridiculous,” paige snaps, her eyes flashing with irritation. she stands in the middle of your living room, arms crossed defensively over her chest. “i can’t believe you’re making this into a big deal.”

you’ve heard those words a thousand times before, and they never lose their sting. she’s good at deflecting, good at making you feel like the crazy one, like you’re blowing things out of proportion. but you’re not. not this time.

“i’m not being ridiculous, paige. you fucking cheated on me!” the words come out sharper than you mean, but you’re done pretending it’s not the elephant in the room.

paige flinches, but only for a second. then, the walls go up. “i told you it was a mistake. i told you it didn’t mean anything.”

the words cut deeper than you expected. it’s the same line, the same excuse, the same empty apology. you want to scream, want to throw something, but you hold back, the anger bubbling under your skin.

“doesn’t mean anything?” you take a step toward her, your voice tight with rage. “how does that not mean anything? you kissed someone else. you slept with someone else.”

“it didn’t happen like that,” she argues, stepping back, her voice rising now. “it was a mistake, okay? i fucked up. but i’m trying to fix it, aren’t i?”

“fix it?” the irony hits you like a punch to the gut. “you don’t get to fix this. you don’t get to fuck up and then act like i’m the one being unreasonable.”

“i’m not saying that,” paige fires back, voice full of frustration. “you’re just—”

“i’m just what?” you snap, stepping into her space. “i’m just the one who got hurt, right? i’m the one who gets to be the bad guy. well, fuck that.”

paige’s face twists with annoyance, but this time, there’s something else in her eyes—something you recognize as guilt, fleeting as it is. it’s not enough to make you back down, but for a moment, you wonder if she’s actually feeling something real.

but the moment fades too quickly. the walls go back up.

“you always do this,” she mutters, voice low. “you always turn everything around on me. it’s exhausting, you know?”

your heart pounds in your chest, and the air between you two thickens with the weight of everything you haven’t said. everything that’s been building up for months. this isn’t just about the cheating. this isn’t just one argument. it’s the years of lies, of misunderstandings, of moments where neither of you ever really listened to the other.

“you’re right,” you say, the bitterness in your voice more cutting than you expect. “maybe i am exhausting. maybe that’s why i’m so fucking tired of this.”

paige glares at you for a moment, her jaw clenched, and then she says the words that shatter it all.

“i think we should break up,” she says flatly, like she’s not even phased by it. like it’s just another thing to get over with.

the words hang in the air, heavy and final. it feels like the earth has shifted beneath you, the ground cracking, splitting apart. you’re frozen, staring at her, not sure if you’re more angry or hurt. maybe both.

you can’t think straight. you want to scream, to beg her to take it back, to fix everything that’s falling apart. but instead, all you can do is nod, your chest tight with an emotion you can’t name.

“yeah,” you whisper, the words tasting like acid. “maybe that’s for the best.”

paige doesn’t hesitate. she turns her back on you, her footsteps heavy as she walks toward the door. it’s like she’s already done with it. done with you. it makes the ache in your chest grow.

you don’t watch her leave, though you hear the door slam behind her. you stand there for a long time, the silence so loud you can barely hear your own thoughts.

—

the days pass, and you try to move on. it’s not as easy as you thought it would be. paige is everywhere—on your phone, in your mind, in the places you used to go together. every moment feels heavy, and no matter how many times you tell yourself it’s over, it never really feels like it is. not with her.

you think you’re getting used to the emptiness when it happens. the doorbell rings, sharp and unexpected, and for a moment, you think you’re imagining things. but then you hear it again.

you get up slowly, your heart racing as you walk toward the door. and when you open it, you see her standing there. paige. her face flushed with anger, eyes wild with something you can’t quite read.

“paige—” you start, but before you can say another word, she’s already on you.

her hands grab your shoulders, pushing you back into the apartment, the door slamming shut behind her with a force that shakes the walls. she doesn’t say anything at first, just stands there, chest heaving, her breath coming in uneven bursts. it’s clear she’s fuming, but there’s something else in her eyes too—something desperate.

“i can’t fucking do this anymore,” she spits, the words almost a growl. “i fucked up, okay? i know i fucked up. but i’m not letting you go. i’m not letting this die.”

you open your mouth to argue, to say something—anything—but the words die in your throat as paige moves toward you, her hands crashing into your hair, pulling you to her. her lips come down on yours, rough and demanding, a kiss that feels like she’s trying to burn the memory of everything that happened into your skin.

it’s not gentle. it’s not kind. it’s raw. it’s the kind of kiss that leaves you breathless, dizzy, like you’re both drowning in each other’s mistakes. her body presses against yours, forcing you back into the wall, and for a moment, you can’t think. you can’t feel anything except her.

when she pulls away, she’s staring at you, her chest still rising and falling with the force of her emotions. “i don’t care what you say,” she mutters, her voice hoarse. “i’m not fucking walking away from this.”

you pull her in again, crashing your lips to hers, your arms wrapping desperately around her neck like you’re scared she’ll vanish if you let go.

she groans into your mouth, gripping your thighs with ease as she lifts you up, your legs instinctively wrapping around her waist. her body presses against yours like it’s the only place it belongs. she stumbles back, lips never leaving yours, navigating toward the bedroom like muscle memory. you kick the door shut behind you with your foot, giggling into the kiss.

paige smirks against your lips, her eyes shining with that dangerous glint, the one that always made you weak. she lowers you onto the bed gently but with purpose, her hands already sneaking under your shirt, warm palms exploring your skin like she’s relearning every inch of you.

she kisses down your neck, making you shiver.

“paige…” you whisper, barely audible.

her mouth curls into a smirk against your throat.

she glances up at you with that look, the one that turns your stomach to ash and desire. “bottom drawer?” she mumbles.

you blink, confused for a second.

“the strap, baby. that’s where it is, right?” she says, her voice low, teasing, as she leans over you, her arm brushing across your stomach as she reaches into the nightstand. her fingers wrap around the base like they belong there.

“take your shorts off for me,” she murmurs, sliding her sweatpants down and stepping out of them. she adjusts the harness with quick, practiced fingers, tightening it around her hips.

you swallow, your breath hitching as you push your shorts and underwear down, discarding them onto the floor next to hers.

she looks at you—spread out, chest rising fast, eyes wide with a mix of innocence and aching need.

“god, you’re so fucking pretty, baby,” she mutters, her gaze dragging over your bare skin like it’s art.

her hands slide up your thighs, warm and firm, settling between them. she groans when she feels how wet you are.

“you’re soaked,” she smirks. “knew you’d miss me.”

she rubs your clit slowly at first, watching the way your lips part with a soft sound of pleasure.

“think you can take it, or you need my fingers first?” she whispers, lowering herself to kiss your cheek, her voice gentler now.

“i can take it,” you breathe, nodding, your lashes fluttering.

“yeah?” she teases, positioning herself between your thighs. her hands hook under your legs, holding them up by the backs of your thighs as she slowly starts to push in. you both watch as the strap disappears inside of you.

you tense slightly, gasping at the stretch, and she gives you a second, leaning over to kiss your temple.

then she starts to move—slow at first, letting your body adjust, but it doesn’t take long before she’s picking up the rhythm. her grip on your thighs tightens, and you know she’s marking you up, but you don’t care.

“fuck, paige…” you moan, your hands clutching her shoulders for support, for grounding.

her pace deepens, becomes rougher, more desperate, the sound of skin slapping echoing in the room.

“feels good, huh?” she pants, eyes never leaving yours.

you nod quickly, a breathy moan slipping from your lips.

“missed this fuckin’ pussy,” she growls, slamming into you harder, her hand sneaking between your bodies again to rub fast, tight circles on your clit.

your back arches.

“fuck—paige!” you whimper, nails dragging across her back, leaving red trails in your wake.

she groans at the sting, spurred on.

“yeah, take it, baby,” she growls, pace unrelenting. “take that fuckin’ dick. you’ve been craving it, huh?”

you can’t even speak—only breathless whines, your body tightening.

“m’gonna come—” you gasp.

“do it. come for me. make a mess,” she murmurs against your ear, her lips brushing your jaw. “you’re mine, baby. say it.”

“m’yours, paige,” you cry out, voice breaking. “fuck—i’mm coming—”

your whole body tenses, your hands tangled in her hair as waves crash over you, shuddering beneath her. she watches your face the entire time, breathless, entranced.

���yeah…” she whispers, slowing her hips just enough. “that’s it. my fuckin’ girl.”

you collapse back onto the bed, legs still trembling as she finally pulls out and eases herself beside you. the room is thick with heat, with emotion, with everything left unsaid between you.

paige doesn’t say anything at first. she just wraps her arm around your waist, pulling you into her chest like nothing else in the world exists. her hand brushes sweat-slick strands of hair away from your face, her lips pressing to your forehead, then your cheek, then your shoulder.

“you okay?” she murmurs, softer than before. vulnerable.

you nod, snuggling into her warmth. your body still hums from her touch, but it’s the way she’s holding you now—like you’re something fragile and precious—that makes your eyes sting.

she reaches for the blanket at the foot of the bed and drapes it over both of you. her fingers trace lazy patterns on your back, grounding you again.

after a few minutes, she pulls away just far enough to grab a towel from the drawer, cleaning you up gently, like she’s apologizing without words. you stay still, heart thudding as she tucks the towel away, then climbs back into bed and holds you again.

you breathe her in—sweat, lavender detergent, something familiar and dangerous.

neither of you says what this means. neither of you talks about tomorrow. you just lie there, tangled in sheets and silence, her thumb brushing over your hip bone, your heartbeat slowly calming under the weight of her hand on your chest.

you’ll always come back to her.

and she’ll always come back to you.

no matter how toxic.

no matter how broken.

© bueckersworld

𝑤𝑖𝑡𝘩 𝘩𝑢𝑔𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑘𝑖𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑠, 𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑟

taglist: @elswhore @private-but-not-a-secret @paigebaby5 @raimund00 @bravemode @d1paigebueckersglazer @evanpeterstoe @zi0nnnn @jadasogay @fuddaround @jaylie-bee @everyonewatchesuconnwbb @mrsarnold

[ecrivainsolitaire]

I just hate this whole virtue signalling "woe-is-me" from people who haven't even bothered to learn what the thing they hate even is. Two years ago some dumbass on the yellow press tried to convince people that ChatGPT was secretly 150 indians in a trenchcoat and these people ate it up because they never even bothered to check if the thing they read was physically possible. Now everyone is whining about water waste because they have no understanding of how water cooling even works and think you just spray the computer and the water vanishes forever or some other ridiculous bullshit along those lines. But they looove to be all dramatic and victimised as though they had any idea of what they're complaining about.

Meanwhile, the technology that was used to develop LLMs is also being used for, among many other things:

Developing a telepathic interface for accessibility devices like prosthetic limbs

Decoding ancient languages

Digitising endangered indigenous languages to promote their use and keep them alive

Communicating with whales to help them avoid human harm and find mates

Reducing software bloat by removing parts of code that are too intrinsic for humans to correlate

Detecting anomalies in medical scans as seen above

Deciphering the structure of proteins that can be used for drug development, genetic analysis, and potentially to engineer and clone individual organs for transplant.

It's the same thing. It's all the same system. You input a fuckton of data into a neural network, train it on ungodly pattern recognition skills Rainman would cum just thinking about, and then cycle it multiple times until eventually it can distinguish what's normal from what isn't, dissect the differences and spit out what amounts to engineered mutations for an intended goal.

The reason LLMs had to be first is because human language is the most complex information system in nature. Everything else follows predictable, regular, unchanging mathematical principles. Human language evolves at impossible speeds, it branches out in billions of different directions, and most importantly: every human on earth can use it. Of course it's flawed, it was invented last fucking weekend. If y'all saw the original Ford T and how much it pollutes we would be swimming in horse and mule shit by now because y'all willingly ignore the fact that technology becomes more efficient over time. o4-mini, the latest ChatGPT model, is exponentially faster and smarter than GPT3, the model from November 2022, at a tiny fraction of the processing power. We went in under 3 years from supercomputers that only Microsoft could afford to Deepseek, which can run entirely on a mid-range gaming pc from 5 years ago. And that's going to keep getting more efficient. This is a technological development as important as the transistor. We don't even know the limit of what can be accomplished with what is essentially a simulated human brain with direct internet access. Does it have flaws? Yes. Does it suck that it was built with stolen IP? Definitely. But that's barely even worth mentioning when you talk about a machine that can detect cancer better than oncologists. Not every oncologist, granted; but Cs get degrees, and the bot won't be looking for pretexts to fondle your tits, so I say in some instances it's already worth the trade, and in some others it will be sooner than we realise. And I can't stand the amount of people who want to stop this revolution of human possibilities because they bought a fucking fake story about the Ghibli guy being sad. Which, by the way, was disseminated with ancient footage from when he verbally abused his employees for suggesting the use of CGI.

Intellectual property was already an abomination before AI happened, and this website in particular was very much in favour of undermining it as much as possible until it came to their fucking yaoi fanart which is btw also copyright infringement. It is abhorrent to come to Tumblr and learn that suddenly everyone is a Disney lobbyist for free. I can't begin to explain how frustrating it is to come to the leftist socialist anarchist communist solarpunk website and see people unironically defend the paywalling of ideas. This is the site that loved Nikola Tesla and was outraged at Edison and Musk using patents and trademarks to muddy his legacy. But now patents and trademarks are good I guess, as long as your fanfic you wrote at 13 that you never meant to profit from is copyright protected (it never was, you stole that too). Especially at the same time as y'all bust my notifications with everyone sharing my pro piracy post from two years ago.

You wouldn't download a car. And that's disappointing.

[bernardsbendystraws]

You Don’t Own Me

SERIES MASTERLIST

Chris Sturniolo lives by his own rules, refusing to be controlled. Some see him as a rebel, a troublemaker—but is that the full truth? Meanwhile, Y/N is focused on making the most of her last year of high school, determined to have a normal teenage experience. But when their worlds collide, they realize they may have more in common than they ever expected.

WARNINGS: COPYRIGHT NOTICE. PLEASE READ AND LOOK UP DEFINITIONS OF WARNINGS FOR FURTHER CLARIFICATION. HUGE TW FOR THIS CHAPTER. CSA (only mentioned, not described), angst, fluff, fighting, physical altercation, lying, and more.

A/N: This is long as fuck and have fun on this emotional rollercoaster lol this is barely proofread btw

With love and big tits, Rose

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

P24: Too Soon?

A week. My mom would be gone on some work trip for an entire seven days.

I really don’t believe it. Part of me always thought she would lie about them being ‘work trips,’ but now I was sure. What kind of work trip didn’t have cell service?

She’s lying. I know she’s hiding something, I know deep down this probably isn’t the first time she’s done this before. But that’s not even the worst part.

The worst part is that she that she left Byalen in charge to ‘watch’ me—like a fucking babysitter, since I couldn’t be trusted anymore because of the time she caught me coming home with Chris early in the morning.

Fucking hypocrite. 

Sure, I wasn’t telling the truth—but neither was she. Like mother, like daughter, I guess. 

Currently, I’m on my bed, staring up at the ceiling as my phone rests on my stomach. Chris’ voice echoes through the device. We’ve been talking for hours. I really want to just go over and see him—see my boyfriend, but I can’t. Not while I’m being fucking babysat. 

“Are you sure you don’t wanna sleep over? You need to sleep.” Chris says.

God, the offer is tempting. All of me wants to say yes, walk over to his house, and cuddle up in his arms. But I can’t. I’ve slept like shit for the past three days and it keeps getting worse. I need him to hold me in order to feel okay, I wanna sleep in a house that feels like a home too. 

It’s not even just him. It’s Jimmy, it’s Matt, and hell—even Trevor. I love being around them, it makes everything feel so much easier. 

I huff, shaking my head against my pillow as I roll my eyes. “I can’t, I’m being fuckin babysat at 18 years old.” I remark. 

A wave of silence washes over for a minute. I can practically hear Chris thinking, the slight vibration of a curious hum sounding through the phone. My fingers callus over my lip, the slight graze of my nails making the muscle tingle in a way that mimics how Chris’ lips feel against my own.

Fuck. I miss that. 

It’s like he has something that I need and crave all the damn time, like he possesses some sort of energy that makes my body feel better—lighter, even. 

“Well…what if I came over there?” He offers. 

My eyebrows twist together. I lick over my lip, gnawing on the muscle as I think of his statement. 

“But…but what if we get caught?” I question. 

I could imagine it. Baylen would see Chris and all hell would break loose. 

I doubt he’d cover for me, he’d probably enthusiastically go telling my mom the second she walks back into the house. 

Chris lets out a dry laugh. “Has he really ever bothered to check in your room? I mean, even if he does, I’ll just hide in your closet or something.”

“That’s kinda gay, bro,” I joke, gnawing on my lip as I hear Chris let out a fit of chuckles that make my heart echo in my ears. 

I love being able to do that. Hearing him laugh—making him laugh, it all feels so pure. It honestly feels as intimate as him in between my legs, just in a different type of way. 

Either are addicting. It was hard to miss only one or the other, I craved both. 

I wanted to feel the euphoric relief from his touch. I wanted to laugh with him to the point where I couldn’t think of anything except how bad my stomach cramped from giggling. 

I wanted everything and all of it—I just want him. 

It’s only been a bit over a week since we made things official, but god—I could feel emotions building so rapidly, so much that they felt like they were consuming every corner of my mind.

Some of it made me sick. 

I never felt this way with Ryan, my ex. The butterflies were there, but not to this extent—not to the point where I caught myself trying to imagine he was holding me in order to fall asleep. 

“Do you want me to come over and not?” Chris remarks, pulling me back to reality as his voice echoes through my phone. 

I bite back a sore smile, humming in approval, “Yes please.” 

___

It feels good like this. Every inch of my body is content, my limbs melted in his hold as I let myself breathe in the fresh air from the cracked window in my bedroom.

His hand is combing through my hair. I hear him clear his throat, his chest rumbling as he begins to speak, “So, um…I…I’ve really missed you.” he says—again.

My lips tug into an unrelenting smile. We’ve been cuddling for hours and he’s repeated the same statement at least ten times. 

It should be annoying, but it’s not. It makes me feel warm—it makes me feel a part of the moment, like every wave of the breeze is infiltrating the pores on my skin to ground me with a profound amount of peace. 

“I missed you too.” I reply, scratching my nails over his chest as I let out another hum of contentment. His lips press against the crown of my head, a lingering kiss placed on my scalp as I feel his warm breath tickle into my hair. 

It’s dark now. We should be tired, but we’re not. A short nap had rendered us a bit sad since we wanted to watch the sunset together, but it was okay since now we got to watch the night sky illuminate with a crescent moon and thousands of stars varying in vibrance. 

I wonder who’s watching. Maybe my dad is one of those stars, maybe he gets to see me finally living after all these years without him. 

The gap of his presence still aches in my heart, but it’s not as exhausting. A tiny splinter of a gap still remains in the pumping muscle, but it seems to be soothed by the added layers of security from Chris’ arms around me. 

“What’re you thinking about, pretty girl?” Chris asks, combing through my hair. 

I crane my head to stare up at him, sparing a soft smile as I give a slight shrug of my shoulders. “I just…” my words float into the air, unfinished as I gulp the lump in my throat that seems to build with how his eyes are piercing into me. “-I really like this. I…really like you…being here with me. It’s just–” 

Chris leans down, pressing the tip of his nose against my own as he blinks, his eyes lashes fluttering against my own with a ticklish sensation that makes a soft sigh fall from my lips. 

“-good. I’m glad you like it because I love it. You don’t understand how much I missed holding you, really,” he whispers, his breath fanning across my lips in a way that makes my stomach swarm with warm butterflies. “-this makes me so, so, so fuckin’ happy—holding my girl, in my arms—”

“You’re never gonna stop saying that, huh?” I tease, biting on my lip as his eyes open and gleam into my own.              

Chris purses his lips, shrugging. “Nah. Getting to call you my girl?” he puffs, his eyes going with before he offers a playful smile, “-could never get old to me. Makes me feel all….” he wraps his arms tighter around me, pulling a gasp from my mouth as he pulls my chest plush against his, “-warm.” 

Ugh. He feels the same way I do—maybe even more so. 

I let myself bathe in his stare, the reassurance of his gaze making me feel like moonlight—calm, radiate, and important. Part of me doesn’t wanna speak at all, the fear of this exact moment ending making my heart pulse in my chest with a sharp sting. 

But it’s okay. 

It’s okay because I know there will always be more moments like this with him. It’s okay because there’s no doubt in my mind that he’ll ever let me feel anything less than cared for. 

Words linger on the tip of my tongue, words I know I shouldn’t say—not yet, at least.

But it’s true. I love him, I really, really do. I don’t know when the realization happened. Honestly, I think it might’ve been when we first met, like some sort of cautious feeling that was warning me of destiny. 

Chris licks over his lips, his smile fading into a serious look as he swallows thickly. “I…I know we haven’t been official for very long, but—I…I feel things for you, I feel so much it hurts,” he breaths. 

My breath halts in my chest, my ears ringing as my bones seem to vibrate inside my body. He feels it too. It’s like everything about us is connected, like everything is falling into place so effortlessly it feels like magic. 

“I…” The words fall flat on the tip of my tongue, my eyes glazing over with pure emotion as I let my eyes wander over his face.

It’s so comfortable. All I can hear is our hearts beating in sync, the way my entire soul is burning for me to say it—say everything. 

“I love you.”

My eyes widened in shock. The words had rambled off my tongue so rushed, the devotion hanging in the air with an accompanied echo of his own voice. 

“Oh.” 

Our words are still in sync. We both let out a small laugh, the giggles falling quiet as we just breath in each other’s presence. 

“I guess that wasn’t as scary as I was making it out to seem, huh?” he tuts. 

I shake my head, laughing under my breath as I shrug, “-I guess so.” 

___

Chris’ POV

I keep waking up. I’m not sure what time it is, but it’s like my body doesn’t want to sleep, even though I’m very comfortable, I just wanna look at her in my arms. 

The slight sound of crickets echoing with the cool night air makes me sigh. My eyes drift over to her nightstand, her empty water bottle catching my attention. She had jugged all of it and fell back asleep within an instant a while ago, waking up a bit later, disappointed to find the bottle empty. 

Maybe I should fill it for her.

Yeah.

Slowly sliding away, I wince hearing her let out a small whimper, reaching out for me as I stand up fully. Her eyes peek open. I pet over her shoulder, cooing, “-hey, go back to sleep—’m just gonna fill your water, okay?” 

She nods hazily, her eyes falling shut with a slight scowl printed on her face. 

God, she’s pretty.

My stomach flutters with warmth as I watch her bottom lip pout slightly, her arms reaching out and tugging the pillow that was beneath my head into her hold as she greedily takes a large breath.

Fuck.

She’s barely awake and she still wants me. 

With light steps, I carefully make my way out of her room, venturing through the halls in hopes of finding the kitchen. It doesn’t take long. I walk into the tiled room, the cold flooring against my feet making me miss the warmth of her touch. 

“Ugh,” I sigh, walking over to the sink and filling the bottle, trying to tilt the object to create as little noise as possible. 

My lips roll together, my mind racing with thoughts as I reminisce on earlier. I was so scared to tell her that I loved her, I was scared it was too soon, too much, or purely insane to feel so strongly when we only made things official a bit ago. 

But she said it at the same time, and somehow that was better than her saying it back. 

“Who the fuck?” 

My eyes go wide as I screw on the cap to the water bottle. I turn around, finding her brother with messy hair and sunken eyes staring at me with a scowl. 

Fuck. 

“Shit.” I mutter, squinting my eyes shut in hopes I’m just having a nightmare. 

But no. 

I open my eyes, he’s still there—closer. 

“Who the fuck are you?” he interrogates, his shoulders broadening as his nostrils flare with an angry huff. 

“I, uh,” I look towards the hallway, mentally cursing myself as I think of her getting in trouble because of me, “-I’m Chris. I’m…uh—”

I don’t get the chance to finish. Baylen’s eyes shift to the bottle in my hand, his tongue prodding on the side of his cheek as he shakes his head disappointedly. 

“What? Are you her boyfriend or something?” he asks, lips tugged into a straight line. 

Gulping, I nod. Surely me being her boyfriend is better than being a stranger breaking in, right?

“No.”

The fuck?

My brows furrow together at his statement. Baylen seems to analyze the confusion on my face, shrugging as he repeats the words with a more tense voice, “-I said no.” 

“What? No? Hate to break it to you, but that’s not really your decision.” I point. 

No wonder she can’t get along with him, he’s a prick. He barely acts like a brother, yet he’s trying to dictate our relationship? 

Fuck that. I’ve done more for her than he has with a fraction of the time. 

I mean, how hard is it to be there for his sister? 

After losing my mom and Nick, no matter how distant or hurt I was, I still hugged Matt when he needed it. I might’ve grown distant, but I never grew heartless.

Baylen couldn’t even suck it up to play video games with her. 

His face contorts with distaste. I let out an angry sigh, my eyes rolling while he let out a scoff. 

“She’s my sister. I’m the one who gets to look out for her, not some guy she’s known for what, a couple months?” he remarks, a slight snort echoing at the end of his sentence. 

His words seem to make my heart pummel against my chest with rage, the statement making my blood boil as I lick over my teeth. “Look out for her? You can’t even sit down and play a video game with her for more than five minutes. Just…” I shake my head, watching as his face shifts into shock before the fury in his eyes starts to become more intense, “-it’s whatever.” 

Baylen clicks his tongue on the roof of his mouth, shaking his head, “Shut the fuck up. You have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

My nose twitches, my eyes squint as my jaw becomes tight. Who the fuck does he think he’s talking to? 

“Oh, I have no idea what I’m talking about?” I huff, my brows lifting as I let out a dry laugh, “-no, you have no idea what you’re talking about. You’re an awful fucking brother, you have no say in anything when you’re treating her like…like a fucking dick.” 

His jaw clicks. Baylen stalks forward, his hands twisting in the collar of my shirt as he yanks me to the side, pushing me against the wall as his eyes glare into me, the anger radiating off of him making the ache in my head from the impact seem less apparent as I drop the water bottle and clutch onto his wrists, trying to yank him off of me. The loud clunk of the bottle hitting the ground makes me wince. I huff at his unrelenting grip, taking a heavy sigh as I try to calm the pulsing anger in my body. 

I can’t hit him. She cares about him—even if he hurts her, I know that would make her upset.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he repeats, his voice dangerously low as he pushes me harder against the wall.  

“You abandoned her when she needed you most. What kind of brother does that?” I spit, the emotions in my voice leaking with a bit of hypocrisy. 

I wasn’t always the best when it came to comforting Matt after my mom and Nick had died, but at least I came around. Someone had to knock some sense into me—that someone being my dad, but it didn’t seem like anyone was ever gonna set Baylen straight. 

“You—you don’t get it. Stop. Just—just shut up,” he yells, shoving me even harder as I feel the back of my head pulse. 

“I do. Just…ow, fuck—” I hiss, the pain becoming evidentally apparent as my skull aches, “-I lost some of my family. Someone had to knock some sense into me. She—she’s your sister, you both lost your dad, she’s hurting and—shit.” 

It fucking hurts. The back of my head is pulsing, an echoing pain bursting through my forehead as I try to move, only to have him shove me harder. 

“I didn’t lose anyone. You…you don’t understand.” 

My eyes peak open, curiosity accompanied by pain as I hear a slight crack in his voice. His face drops with sadness, the anger fleeting into some sort of sullen emotion as he swallows thickly. 

“You…you don’t understand. That man—he’s not my father. He’s a sick excuse of a man that traumatized her and she doesn’t even fucking remember,” he spits. 

“I…what?” I breathe, my chest tightening as Baylen loosens his grip around the collar of my shirt, his lower lip wobbling. 

“I’m never supposed to tell her. I…I have to hear her mourn a man who would…who’s the reason she’d have to sneak into my room—he’s the reason she could never make it through the night without having an accident. Something was wrong—everything was wrong.” 

“What—what’re you saying?” I ask, my mouth falling open as I let my hands fall from his wrists. 

Baylen’s eyes sink with sadness, his cheek hollowing as he gulps. “She wasn’t potty trained for a long time. At first, I didn’t get it. But…but…he was touching her, her body was showing all the signs of sexual assault, but I was just a kid, I didn’t…I—by the time I understood what had happened, it—it was too late. Now I have to hear her mourn a man who is the reason I feel—he’s…he’s the reason I can’t comfort her, he’s the reason I can’t look at her,” he says, his head tilting as his face scrunches with pain;

“He’s the reason I hate myself—the reason I can’t let myself get close to her without seeing how much of a failure I am.” 

Oh.

[solecize]

°⛧  ‧  ₊   　 　⠀mnemonic 　⠀⠀⠀　 　⠀⠀　 　⠀⠀ [2]

　 　⠀　 　⠀⠀　 　⠀　 　⠀⠀　 　⠀　 　⠀　 　⠀　 　⠀　 *ੈ  ✩  ‧  ₊  ˚  .ೃ

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: swimmer!jk x female reader, college au, slow burn friends to lovers to ??, fluff, angst, slice of life, coming of age

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: smut, substance use, college party and hookup culture, mentions of greek life hazing, characters experiencing just about every feeling a lost college student goes through, depictions of and discussions surrounding mental health (depression, anxiety, substance abuse), disgusting amounts of yearning and clueless pining, yes he's her tutor at one point, yes they're in denial, also features other third gen idols, dare i say found family, there is a beach episode and a fireworks festival too lol

in which a little box of memories tells the story of how you and jeon jungkook slowly, but surely, fell in love against the backdrop of the growing pains of your college years. jungkook presents this box to you as a final gift at graduation and each item in the box is a snapshot frozen in time, capturing the forces that brought the two of you from strangers to friends to more. 

⇢ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐱: masterlist. / prologue. / the loyalty points card from the campus coffee shop. / ticket to the haunted horrors house (admission for two). / a worn out deck of cards. /handwritten no-bake cheesecake recipe. / cd soundtrack for stand by me (1986). / travel brochure to derry beach. / a clipping from the school newspaper. / pieces of confetti. / one empty tequila shooter. / epilogue & the final item.

⇢ 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: see masterlist for chapter summaries if u want also i edited this while fried so was it really editing

the loyalty points card from the campus coffee shop

 the first time he ever saw you was at the cafe at the student union centre. 

 the bean was situated at the bottom floor of the student centre building and was the most popular stop for pre-class caffeine. it was a pretty spot, as sunlight streamed in through floor to ceiling windows and overlooked the quad. at all hours, it was bustling and filled to the brim - the morning of the first day of classes was the worst of them all. the entire shop teemed with figures, some hunched over laptops and others pondering at the menu. you knew it would be busy, ignored the fact, and that was why you stood in line for a latte with a pained expression on your face.

 “i’m going to be late,” you muttered under your breath, barely able to peek over the shoulder of the person in front of you to see just how far you were from the front counter.

 there was only about ten minutes until the first ever lecture of your college years and there was still three people ahead of you in line. by your estimates, it would take about five minutes to get to the hall, maybe a solid three if you sprinted. sacrifices had to be made and something told you that you shouldn’t have stayed up all night with your roommate, doyeon, the night before. you needed coffee and you needed it now.

 It was just a relief in general that you got along with her. one of your biggest fears going into college was even making friends after leaving your hometown. you dove headfirst into a new life in a new place and the least you could accomplish was befriend the person you were going to live with for the rest of the year. these were the thoughts that swirled your mind first thing in the morning as you got ready for class, which is why you were late in the first place. 

 by the time you placed your order and received your iced vanilla latte, you could have transformed into usain bolt. you were more than determined to get a running start out of the bean - a little too determined. 

 “ah! oh fuck, i’m so sorry.”

 when you turned around, ready to make the sprint, you’d bumped directly into the most gorgeous man you’d ever seen in your life. you could say that with your chest, too. he was tall, extremely beautiful eyes, and something about the way his smile reached them made your heart skip a beat. it was a sheepish grin, embarrassed by the collision. his dark hair fell just around his eyebrows, one of them adorned with an eyebrow piercing. needless to say, you did, in fact, have a type and this guy fit the bill like a glove. 

 “no, shit, i’m sorry!” you managed to sputter.

 unfortunately for you, as glorious this meet cute would have been perfect at literally any other time, you were running late from class and your latte was now spreading across the floor. thankfully, none of it ended up on either of your clothes. you could physically feel your life drain from your body, knowing that you were going to fall asleep in the lecture within the first couple minutes without your coffee. 

 the empathy in this man’s eyes knew this, too, and they suddenly lit up. he then thrusted his own plastic cup in your direction.

 “here, do you wanna take mine? i’m not in a rush,” the mysterious man insisted and you could have jumped into his arms, giggling like a school girl.

 the very first time jungkook caught your eye, you felt like you had been struck by a lightning bolt. then, the sharp electricity itched your chest and planted sparks of a feeling you’d never felt before. it was a repetition of thunderous growls that sunk beneath your skin, booming quietly over the years and as you fell in love with him. it was sparks in your bones and in your veins, of jungkook who permanently rumbled in your being. 

 in this moment, you remained collected. there was no way you were going to act like a total fool in front of this beautiful stranger. you took an extra second to give him a once over, he wore a hoodie that read ‘springfield university swimming’ and a backpack slung over one shoulder.

 you feigned reluctance. “oh, no, i couldn’t - it’s my fault anyway.”

 “no, seriously, you look like you’re in a rush,” he shook his head rapidly. “i insist. it’s just a regular iced coffee, but you should have it!.

 as much as you wanted to stay at the bean and flirt your way into getting his number, the reality struck that you had about two minutes to make it to your lecture. 

 finally, you nodded and smiled gratefully. “thank you, thank you - you really just saved my life!”

 “no worries, have a nice day!”

 as you ran off, you could only wish that you got his name. little did you know, you would run into him again and again and not only would you get his name, it became the one constant in your life for the next four years. 

 by now, it was two weeks into the semester and you found out that your roommate, doyeon, was a type a brainiac. she also happened to be in the same major and declared that she would help keep you on top of your work. despite the quiz for your intro to sociology class carrying a very low amount of weight for your final grade, she insisted that the two of you hold a study session a few days prior. 

 it was by luck that jungkook would be one of the few souls lingering around the bean in the late evening. the early september sun hugged all corners of the coffee shop with its curtains streaming in from the darkening skyline, as you gazed out into its streaks of ember and rose. you sighed, wishing that you were outside instead of studying for your first quiz. 

 “it’s literally friday night, why are you studying?” a random voice quipped. 

 you eyes shot up, seeing two guys approach your table. the one who spoke looked somewhat familiar, but the first bit of college had been such a blur. you were introducing yourself in all your classes to dozens of faces and were meeting all kinds of people on campus, in the dorms, and just about anywhere else. you didn’t expect your first semester to be so high-paced and you were struggling to remember names. 

 the second one, though, was definitely familiar. something nagged at you and you weren’t sure what. you hoped that you weren’t staring, but you were trying to calculate where exactly you’d seen him before. his eyes trailed over to you and recognition began winding at the back of his head. then, it hit you.

 he was the one who you crashed into on the very first day of the semester, the mysterious man who selflessly sacrificed his coffee for you before class. your heart dropped and you wanted to shrivel up and hide because that meant it was the same boy who watched you throw up outside the dorms last weekend.

 doyeon looked up and rolled her eyes upon their appearance. “because our free time isn’t being taken up by pledging for those kappa gamma losers like you, seokmin.”

 the boy - seokmin, as doyeon called him - laughed. “it’s kappa alpha psi. i won’t be such a loser in a few weeks when you’re begging me to get you into one of our parties,” he said.

 “sure, sure,” she replied, not convinced. “oh, y/n. this is seokmin, my cousin. seokmin, this is my roommate, y/n.” doyeon gestured to him, already looking back at her notes and disinterested in the conversation.

 seokmin and doyeon could not be more than complete opposites. from the first moment that you met doyeon, she gave you sophisticated, old money vibes. she just looked like her parents owned a beach house on the coast and spent her summers at country clubs. it was intimidating at first, considering your family’s financial background was the complete opposite, but she ended up being much more down to earth than you expected.

 meanwhile, seokmin wore expensive yeezys with mud stains on them, his polo shirt had its collars popped up and his tennis bracelet could blind you. that didn’t take away from his character, though, as he held out a friendly handshake. 

 “hi, nice to meet you,” seokmin flashed a smile that reached his eyes. “this is jungkook, we’re on the swim team together.”

 “we’ve met,” you and jungkook both said in unison, which forced you to resist a wince. 

 jungkook, instead, chuckled at you. “i didn’t take you to be the type to study on a friday evening.”

 you sighed, feeling the embarrassment creep up on you in the form of reddening cheeks. to your left, doyeon was confused and looked between the two of you. you figured that you would tell the story instead of giving her questioning look a silent answer. 

 ***

 last weekend, you came to the conclusion that college was going to be really, really fun - or so, you kept slurring, as your other roommate, yeri, helped you into an uber. it was the end of the first week after moving in and she convinced you that it was a good night ot get loose. she was definitely the party girl out of your trio that dormed together and was ecstatic when you accepted her invitation to join you at a bonfire party that night. it was one of the first things she said to you actually, as you met just ten minutes before the party - yeri was already a social butterfly by the first week of school and had been getting up early and leaving late nearly everyday.

 “it’s so fun, i love it here,” you sang, as yeri giggled at you and pushed your legs into the car.

 earlier that week, on the very first day of move in, you had an inkling you would wind up in this sort of situation.

 it was apparently a well-known fact across the student body that stratton hall was one of the least desired residence buildings. it was a poorly designed dormitory with strange floor layouts and an air-conditioning system that worked on a system of luck, maybe some prayers. the walls were also notoriously paper thin. worst (or best, depending on what kind of student you were) part of it all was that it was a party hall. students were loud and loved to have fun. that was definitely why some students hated stratton, or that it was the only dormitory that had three people rooms. 

 the idea didn’t really occur to you to mind. it would have made more sense that you would, as you were an only child and never had to share a space in your life. if anything, you were a bit desperate for friends.

 a strange feeling pooled in your stomach after your mom dropped you off and you were left alone with no one to even share the news with. you walked away from your hometown and didn’t look back on your old life, which meant the people in it were also a memory put behind you. 

 the falling out you had with your childhood best friends after high school ended was not only timely, but deceivingly painless. it came at a time where you had to pack up regardless, so you made sure the change wasn’t something to dwell on. you figured you would make new friends in college, but nobody could have prepared you for how empty you would feel on the very first day. 

 there was no one to tell about how you were now eighteen and on your own, which meant that you could do anything you wanted. buy a lottery ticket and some cigarettes. if you ever failed college, you could go ahead and sign up for the military. you could get one of those butterfly tattoos you keep seeing on your pinterest feed. the possibilities were endless. . .but, no one to share these thoughts with.

 “oh!”

 a pretty girl with dark hair hauling a louis vuitton suitcase burst into the room, as if she didn’t mean to open the door with such force. her eyes were wide like a doe and she caught her balance by clutching onto the timber door. 

 for a second, you forgot that other people would be living in this room. after shooing your overprotective mother away, you dragged all your boxes inside by yourself. the room was just as small as you expected, but the scene outside framed a view of the quad and let sun pour in a way that made the eggshell white walls sparkle. there was a bunk bed and one twin bed. you claimed the latter, not feeling bad about it. you had just plopped down to test the mattress for how cardboard-y it would feel, when she walked in. or, rather, nearly fell in. 

 “hi,” you started. “er, doyeon?”

 it was a lucky guess, a real fifty-fifty chance based on your papers from the housing department, and you got it right. she nodded with a smile that belonged into a toothpaste commercial. you liked the sunglasses perched on top of her head, they were tiny black circle lenses and pulled back her hair in a way that just the perfect amount of strands fell out in the front, framing her face. she had long eyelash extensions and wore jean shorts with a plain t-shirt. 

 doyeon walked up to you, not even blinking at the fact that you took the twin bed. “nice to meet you,” she extended her hand.

 you were grateful for her instant warmth. otherwise, you would have probably second guessed every single interaction, hoping that she didn’t secretly hate you. doyeon made it clear that she was genuinely looking forward to living with you.

 making friends on the first day of college was akin to making friends on the first day of kindergarten. everyone was hopelessly trying to make friendly eye contact and propped their doors wide open, crossing their fingers that the people passing by in the hallway would say hi. most people filled out their “get to know us!” piece of paper and pinned it to their doors by the end of the week. 

 you and doyeon became friends as fast as any kids on the playground. the first day of college was just like the first day of kindergarten, where these things came fast and naturally.

 after a bit, it became obvious to you that doyeon was struggling with meeting new people, but she also wanted to try hard. she seemed shy and you admired that she wanted to move past it. 

she admired your confidence that shone in your easy smile and casual suggestions of what you wanted to do together, automatically considering her a friend. the two of you went to the dining hall together for the first time ten minutes after this meeting. 

 “do you know anyone else here?” you asked, digging into your mess of a salad. the salad bar in the dining hall had an insane amount of options and you piled a little bit of everything onto your plate. 

 honestly, you panicked. you’d never seen so many choices at once and the line moved at lightning speed. you were pretty sure you ended up putting three different dressing onto your meal. 

 doyeon picked at her lasagna. “my cousin, that’s it,” she replied. “i hope we meet our other roommate soon.”

 “do you think she’ll also want to do a spa night with us?”

 “maybe she can braid our hair since we don’t know how to.”

 you thought for a moment. “that would be nice.”

 there were some signs of life from your third roommate - kim yerim - but, never her actual presence. by the time the two of you returned from the dining hall, she had moved her belongings onto the empty top bunk and claimed a desk. she put up her taylor swift records on the wall and laid out pink, satin sheets on her mattress. after that, she seemed to constantly come home later than everyone else and wake up earlier, leaving before either of you could have a conversation with her. you saw her several times in the middle of the night, her figure turning on the top bunk and it felt like she was a sleep paralysis demon that only appeared at ungodly hours. by the time the sun rose and your eyes fully opened, she was always gone.

 at this point, you were starting to wonder if she was a weirdo or she hated the two of you. maybe she didn’t like the fact that the two of you claimed your beds. but, she was leaving cute little post-its on the door that said “have a good day!<3” and she filled out the get-to-know-me form. you discovered that she preferred to be called yeri and that her favourite movie was legally blonde. all green flags. 

 you and doyeon had been speculating that entire week about when you two would finally meet your third roommate. it was nerve wracking to share a space with two other people for the first time in your life and you’d hit it off with doyeon, so you were praying that yeri wouldn’t turn out to be some obnoxious monster that you would have to be stuck with for the rest of the year. it was a little scary, how she snuck in and out like a shadow without being seen for the entire week. doyeon had a habit of staying up late to read and even she had yet to meet yeri when she came home.

 the behaviour was bizarre and you thought she was going to be insane.

 instead, yeri turned out to be a blonde ray of sunshine that bursted into your room at around six pm on the first friday of the semester, clutching a box of muffins that she bought for you and doyeon. she apologized for not being around, since she was determined to attend every single orientation week event, and introduced herself with a smile. 

 with one glance at her seemingly boundless energy, you finally understood. she was practically bouncing off the walls in excitement and you could totally see how she could survive off of three hours of sleep if her body was so naturally full of energy.

 doyeon chuckled awkwardly. “i was thinking you weren’t real.”

 “i’m an early riser! oh, and my parents didn’t leave after helping me move in until today,” yeri explained. “they insisted i crash at the hotel a few times.”

 she had just entered the dorm and both you and doyeon thought you were seeing a ghost, not believing that it was actually yeri in the flesh. apparently, she had made an effort to explore campus and do just about everything offered to freshmen.

 it was easy to talk to her, though. yeri swung her legs happily as she sat at her top bunk, chatting with you and doyeon like she’d known the two of you her whole life. in addition to attending all the orientation week events, yeri also made it her mission to seek out just about every extracurricular activity at the club fair. 

 “i’ve signed up for model un, cheerleading, the pre-med students association, ceramics club, acapella. . . “

 you blinked. extracurriculars hadn’t even crossed your mind since arriving at college. maybe it was something worth considering if you wanted to make new friends. 

 “were you home-schooled or something?” doyeon blurted out, genuinely concerned. 

 meanwhile, yeri giggled at the statement and shook her head.

 your roommates to be completely different from you, yet you would find out that these girls would become your closest friends and would complement you in ways that you’d never found in people before. the three of you spent the next thirty minutes formally getting to know each other. 

 you learned that doyeon was, in fact, loaded. she said her dad owned a “few” businesses and that was all you needed to know. yeri had all brothers, which was why she was so excited about living with the two of you, even if it was in the dreaded three person dorms. you mentioned casually that your parents just got divorced earlier in the year, but didn’t delve too much into it. not yet.

 introductions wouldn’t last long that night, though, as yeri told you and doyeon that she was off to a bonfire party and invited both of you out. of course, doyeon declined, opting to stay in and read a book. on the other hand, yeri’s sparkling eyes were difficult for you to say no to. 

 and, in a matter of time, yeri was cheering you on by the murky local beach water, as you took a shot of vodka straight from the bottle. and again. and again. the person encouraging you and helping you walk?

 jeon jungkook.

 this boy just showed up everywhere, it seemed. 

 “you’re really good at this!” yeri exclaimed, as if your face wasn’t scrunching into one of complete disgust after the first. 

 the sun was already slowly going down by the time you arrived, as the first glimpse of the stars danced in the sky and twinkled upon you. you didn’t think hard enough to dress properly for the occasion, as yeri left your dorm wearing just itty bitty jean shorts and a tank top, but she didn’t seem to be as bothered by the sea breeze as you were. you chose to wear baggy jeans and a tube top, which was exactly what you were donning all day, and ended up being left shivering as soon as you arrived at the beach. you tried to stay close to the bonfire, which was difficult to do when the crowd began increasing as the night went on.

 this went on for hours and if asked today, you couldn’t remember too much of it. you remember college kids lamely singing along to pursuit of happiness on someone’s busted up bluetooth speaker. at some point, a random beer was shoved into your hand and you hated every sip of it, but felt awkward without anything in your hand, so you kept it as a prop. yeri introduced you to all kinds of people that were blank faces in your memory that night. 

 all blank, except one.

 “jungkook! i didn’t know you were here!” yeri waved happily to an oddly familiar man, along with his friend. “y/n! this is jungkook! we went to high school together.”

 when you looked up and saw who jungkook was, it took you a second to recognize him from the bean. he didn’t seem to realize, though, which you attributed to the mystery liquid swirling in the red solo cup clutched in his hand. he was as incredibly attractive as he was the first time you saw him, now wearing a maroon hoodie and jeans. 

 “nice to meet you,” jungkook said, “oh, this is jaehyun, my roommate.”

 jaehyun didn’t seem like the type to enjoy people on a cold beach with drunk people. you thought he was initially pretty shy, hands stuffed in his pocket and the eyes behind his black frames often gazing into the distance during conversation. he had on a polite smile, but didn’t spoke unless spoken to. 

 meanwhile, the other male was more at ease. you noticed he was chatting with a few other partygoers before yeri approached him, easy jokes and chatter flowing out of him. he’d been in a pretty laid back mood, sipping on the disgusting jungle juice that someone brought. he greeted yeri with a familiar side hug and then, he noticed you.

 right then and there, jeon jungkook wasn’t entirely drunk.

 though he was introducing jaehyun, his own eyes remained fixed on you like glue. for a moment, time seemed to stop, even if it were for a split second. it was a foreign feeling warming your chest when his eyes were locked on yours, just as it was when you met at the bean. you tried shaking it off, but it wasn’t necessarily unwelcome. the feeling was inviting and so were jungkook’s eyes.

 nobody seemed to notice this synergy except yeri, whose lips stretched out into a devious smile. “do you guys want a shot?” she offered, pulling a flask out her back pocket. you didn’t even know she had that. her sneakiness elicited a laugh out of you and that was when you realized that you were properly tipsy.

 without hesitation, you nodded enthusiastically and she handed it to you with a sly smile.

 “what is it?” jaehyun asked, just as you brought the opening to your nose and gagged at the sharp attack on your senses. 

 yeri laughed, “don’t do that, silly! that’s the last thing you wanna do. c’mon, y/n, it’s all you!”

 you caught jungkook’s amused expression watching in the corner of your eye and realized that there was no going back now. even yeri’s face read ‘don’t you embarrass yourself in front of this cute guy,’ so you squeezed your eyes shut. 

 the liquid burned your throat and you nearly gagged it back up once you threw your head back with the flask. your newfound friends were the only reason why you didn’t, as they cheered you on. without opening your eyes, you held out the flask for the next person to take.

 “let’s go, jungkook!” jaehyun let out an amused chuckle, clapping.

 you watched jungkook take a healthy shot out of yeri’s flask like a pro, in spite of the shudder he made after completing the job. as yeri and jaehyun took their turns, jungkook turned to you in low conversation.

 “i’m not a big drinker. . .” you admitted, as the warmth of whatever liquor you drank began to spread across your body. 

 your parents were always the strict type and upon choosing a college hours away from home, you made it your mission to try and do things you were never able to do. go to parties late at night. drink until you were drunk. all sorts of things that you wanted to shape your ‘college experience’. taking shots out of anything was a new development for you.

 he flashed one of those dangerous boyish grins at you, the kind that mothers warned their daughters about.

 jungkook said, “nah, you did good. going out of your comfort zone tonight, huh?” 

 truth be told and although you would never admit it aloud, you entered college blazing and desperate to make friends. this was a new start and you were more than eager to forge a friendship with yeri, with whoever sat next to you in lectures - hell, you were trying to even make friends with the janitor in the science building. 

 “something like that.”

 the ‘something’ ended up being several more shots until standing straight became a chore. 

 you were having the time of your life, taking polaroids and playing volleyball until the time swept by like wind. at some point, after one drink too many, you took a look at your phone and when the words kept moving in your line of sight, you mustered enough self awareness to call it a night.

 you liked this. maybe you could get used to college. subtracting the way your stomach churned after all those drinks would also be nice. 

 at this point, the party split up into different groups by nightfall and you were nestled in a small circle with her and a few other people. others were slowly starting to leave due to the bite of the sea breeze picking up by the shoreline. the party was still lively, as animated conversation weft between everyone with music continuing to play in the background.

 “yeri, uhmmm, i think i should go back now,” you poked her arm. “i’m not feeling too, erm, well.”

 thankfully, she agreed in an instant to return to campus with you. yeri took one look at your face and didn’t hesitate. 

 “of course! i’m getting cold anyway,” she said, completely ignoring the jacket loaned to her from the random boy sitting on the left. 

 at the same moment, sitting in the same circle around a small fire, jungkook noticed the two of you getting up to leave and also stood up. he mumbled something to jaehyun, busy wedged in a conversation with several girls fluttering their eyelashes at them,. he nodded and bade his friend goodbye.

 jungkook already caught up to you before you got too far, eyebrows raised.

 “you guys going back to campus? i’ll order the uber,” jungkook offered, stifling a laugh at yeri, who was fumbling with her phone - too drunk to get past the passcode screen.

 looking back, it took a while to realize that it wasn’t just you and yeri in the uber, but jungkook, too. he’d been the one to open the door for the two of you, ensuring that nobody left anything behind, and even managed to get into yeri’s phone for her to text whoever she needed to. even if he was several drinks in himself, his watchful eye put you at ease.

 midway through, you had no choice but to roll down the window of the uber, desperately needing fresh air or else the contents of your stomach would surely end up on the floor of the car.

 “erm, so you guys are high school friends?” you asked casually, hoping it would take your mind off of the impending disaster in your body.

 by now, yeri was actually knocked out in between you and jungkook. her phone was still lit in her lap and she seemed to be mid-text, now with her eyes closed and mouth hanging open. you thought it was actually cute and a weight was lifted off your shoulders - you were grateful to find a friend in your roommate. you had a feeling that you and yeri would stick around each other for a while. meanwhile, jungkook looked over at her and snorted.

 “actually,” he began, “yeri used to date my older brother. we’re not super close, but we know each other enough - she’s the only other person from our high school to come to school here.”

 that was surprising, as you thought they were actually friends, but you’d also stick by any sense of familiarity if you had someone like that. you came to college without knowing a single person and it’d been one of the most stressful experiences of your life, regardless of whatever adventure your parents promised you would embark on.

 “are you from somewhere far?” you asked.

 jungkook hummed in confirmation. “yeah, out of state. what about you?”

 “about four hours away down south,” you answered. “still so crazy to me. . . how so many people here are from all sorts of places.”

 you were definitely a little bit too far in the deep end if you were swinging your feet, making philosophical remarks out of your ass. jungkook either didn’t notice or didn’t mind, instead entertaining your thoughts with meaningful nodding. 

 “i was a bit nervous about coming here, worried i’d be weird or stick out too much since i’m not from around here.” 

 that was one of the first thoughts you had when you arrived at school. you were second guessing every move, every word you said, because you were so concerned with making friends and creating a good impression on everyone you met.

 you sighed. “so, i’m not the only one?”

 “i almost wanted to turn back when my parents left me alone in my dorm room,” he revealed.

 “that’s a bit hard to believe,” you commented, which made him raise an eyebrow at you. “we just met, but you seem like the kind of guy who’d make friends and get through college just fine.”

 jungkook said, “oh yeah? why so?”

 maybe you had it all wrong. you always thought that beautiful people could have everything they could ever want in the palm of their hands. you found it to be one of those natural abilities that pushed you towards success in life - having people drawn to you, being personable, and not wandering around like a fly on the wall. it took quite the amount of liquor for you to even muster up the courage to not be so shy.

 jungkook was just that. he’d been making random people laugh all night and took shots with strangers like they’d been best friends for years. but, then again, so were you and you weren’t that kind of person.

 when you didn’t answer, jungkook smiled. “my brother told me all about how college is the place where you find yourself and blah blah blah. but, honestly, maybe he’s onto something.”

 those words were the same ones stuck to you like a tattoo. it made you smile - you weren’t alone in clawing for some semblance of a new identity.

 “didn’t realize fresh starts would be so nauseating,” you murmured, now clutching your stomach after the driver went over a particularly bad bump in the road.

 jungkook laughed. “you’re real funny, y/n.” even though you were thoroughly inebriated, the compliment still made your cheeks burn and momentarily made you forget about how the car ride almost just made you throw up. 

 thankfully, the bump happened just seconds before the driver pulled up to your dorm building. you breathed out a sigh of relief now that you were free from the sickness of the car ride. after thanking the driver, you nearly burst out of the car.

 at this point, jungkook shook yeri awake and she groggily stepped out of the car. 

 “hey, when did we get he - oh! y/n, are you alright?”

 yeri scurried over to where you dashed to, now down on your knees and hurling the contents of your insides into the nearest container you could find. unfortunately, it was a pot of daisies outside of stratton that fell victim to your drinking. 

 she didn’t hesitate to come over and hold your hair back. you couldn’t hear much, except her words of encouragement and the feeling of her rubbing your back like a mom. 

 “i’m - ergh,” you were cut off by another round of vomit, “never. drinking. ugh - again.”

 little did you know, this would be a moment between you and yeri that you would never forget. she would bring this night up about as often as she could for the next four years.

 meanwhile, jungkook walked over to the nearest vending machine, conveniently housed just outside of stratton hall, and bought a bottle of water. before he generously handed it over to you, he had also taken a few gulps. you didn’t notice, still heaving over the damn potted plant.

 “shh. . .good job. now, drink up!” yeri said, putting the bottle in your hand, before alarm flashed in her eyes. she frantically patted down her pockets. “crap! i lost my keys.” 

 you groaned. “shit, i’m so sorry - i left mine on my desk.”

 yeri scratched her head. “aw man, i hope doyeon doesn’t hate us for this. . .i’ll call her now,” her shoulders dropped, as she walked away to make the call. luckily, you knew doyeon wouldn’t mind. 

 “i’ll stay by until you guys get into your floor,” offered jungkook, who was now sitting on the bench beside you. “i live on the third floor here with jaehyun.”

 you forgot he was there and now you were embarrassed that he witnessed all that. jungkook didn’t seem to mind, though, completely unaffected. he was too focused on examining your face, as you became initially self-conscious that he was just randomly staring at you. you clocked in that he was also not sober yet either. you realized he was in deep thought when he finally tilted his head at you.

 “i know you. we met at the bean,” he concluded, as if solving a riddle.

 “recognized my look of distress?”

 “i seem to keep giving you beverages whenever i run into you.”

 you laughed, making a crackling sound when you squeezed the water bottle. “yeah, that was me,” you said. “thanks for that coffee, by the way. you saved my life.”

 “i was hoping i’d run into you again,” he mused. by now, you realized that he was conversing with you as you were still hunched over the potted plant, so you swiftly rose to your feet as smoothly as you could.

 you cleared your throat, trying to act casual. “why so?” you asked slowly, unsure what the tone implied was. there was no way he was. . .flirting with you? no, it was the liquor playing games on you. 

 “y/n! doyeon is coming down to let us onto our floor!”

 you and jungkook both jumped at yeri’s shrill voice. she might have woken up the entire block with that yell. 

 the last thing you wanted to do was keep doyeon waiting, considering it was three in the morning and even if she was awake, she was likely tucked in bed. but, there was also some nagging part of you that didn’t want this conversation with jungkook to end. you weren’t sure why, but you just seemed to be lost in a trance with him. he also seemed disappointed that you were to leave, as his shoulders fell slightly with yeri’s announcement. 

 he smiled. “have a good night, y/n.”

 “hold on.”

 jungkook raised an eyebrow at you, as you fiddled around for your wallet. you thankfully found the piece of cardstock that you were looking for right away and handed it to jungkook.

 “what’s this?” he asked, examining the front and back.

 “it’s the loyalty card from the bean. i bought four coffees, so the fifth one is free,” you explained. “you can have it - i owe you one, don’t i?”

 when you walked into your dorm room that night, yeri was already fast asleep, despite having only been a few steps ahead of you. doyeon was, like she said she would be earlier, reading and tucked into bed after unlocking the door for you. you offered an apology, but she only waved it off with a giggle, clearly amused by you two. 

 before drifting off into sleep, you noticed how bare the dorm room walls were and decided you would buy some posters the next day. thoughts of string lights and polaroids wrapped your mind, as you wondered if you would see jungkook again.

 ***

 and that was the last you remembered of jeon jungkook from that night.

 now, he was standing in front of you, at the very coffee shop where you first met and you watched as the memories played back for him in front of his very eyes. eventually, his recollection came back to him and he couldn’t help but chuckle.

 this was your third meeting now and you wondered if it was this easy to run into someone on a campus full of thousands of undergraduate students.

 (you realize by junior year, after watching several friends falling victim to unfortunate situationships, that running into people you would rather die than see is, unfortunately, common.)

 doyeon and seokmin looked between the two of you strangely.

 “uhm, jungkook and i met at a bonfire at the beach last friday,” you explained, eying him. “he’s the one that called you, doyeon, to help yeri and i get back into the building when we were locked out.”

 he was too kind for his own good, considering he waited patiently to ensure that his barely an acquaintance of his brother’s ex girlfriend and a random girl would make it home safe. 

 “oh! that was you?” doyeon nodded slowly. “thanks for that, you’re really nice for helping out.”

 jungkook chuckled, “no big deal. it’s nice seeing you again, y/n.”

 his eyes fell on you and you stifled an ugly, nervous laugh. 

 you managed to swallow down the weight of embarrassment. “are you off to another party tonight?”

 “nah, we just wrapped up practice and shit was tiring as hell. we’re just gonna call it a night, maybe game,” jungkook said. “not all of us are party animals like you.”

 that was definitely far from who you were. the morning after the bonfire, you continued to further swear up and down that you would never drink again. even now, thinking about alcohol made you shudder and you were convinced that you needed several more business days before you could even consider going out, whether there was alcohol involved or not. 

 “hilarious,” you laughed dryly at him.

 meanwhile, doyeon was just growing irritated with her cousin. ”you made the swim team?”

 “pft, obviously.”

 “you’re awful. you couldn’t even get a scholarship,” she shot.

 seokmin rolled his eyes. “that’s what walk-ons are for, stupid,” he said. “kook’s the scholarship, though, he’s freakin’ amazing.”

 as the two went back and forth, you and jungkook shared an entertained look. they fought like siblings and their clashing personalities didn’t help. 

 “anyway, no party tonight, but we’ll be going to the tailgate next saturday, though!” seokmin continued with enthusiasm.

 doyeon began to grumble. “seokmin, you know i don’t go to those things,” she began to wave him off.

 “what tailgate?” you asked.

 jungkook shrugged. “it’s the parking lot party before the big football season opener. campus security doesn’t really care about drinking at these things, so it usually ends up being crazy every year.”

 “you’re so boring, doyeonie, just show up once,” seokmin pleaded with his cousin, before turning to you. “y/n, tell her!”

 “can you leave us alone, we’re trying to study,” she snapped before you could answer and it was more of a command than a request.

 both you and jungkook were not prepared to get in between them, instead continuing to observe the argument with amusement. eventually, doyeon cussed at seokmin enough for him to concede - at least he did after she physically swatted him out of her space.

 “hey,” jungkook spoke up, which made you turn to him. “if you change your mind about the tailgate, let me know.”

 it took a second to realize that he was now pulling a random notebook out of his backpack. jungkook then tore off a random page and began scribbling on it. it was his number. 

 now, you were not the kind of girl to throw up in front of someone you just met and have the confidence to hang out with them again. in fact, you could have probably gone without seeing jungkook ever again for the next four years out of sheer shame. however, you were too preoccupied with the fact that a boy was giving you his number. you were also fixated on the fact that he’d written it down, old school - who does that anymore? these days, guys only ever wanted a girl’s snapchat or instagram.

 you gingerly took the paper, still baffled that it just happened. seokmin and doyeon were still bickering next to you, before jungkook took it upon himself to finally interrupt.

 “let’s go, seokmin,” he insisted, exasperated that they were still going back and forth. 

 seokmin rolled his eyes, but gave up. “yeah, yeah, i’m coming,” he said. “bye y/n, nice meeting you!”

 as doyeon muttered profanities under her breath about her cousin, you were trying to not make it obvious that the piece of paper with jungkook’s number literally burned into your palms. you could have squealed like an idiot. instead, you slid it into your anthropology binder and pretended to go back over your notes for the quiz. 

⇢ 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: @fancypeacepersona @petiteparler @lanie97 @httpjeonlicious @bleumornings @rpwprpwprpwprw @kikiflwr @kissyfacekoo @knivesdoingcartwheels @joyjunk @jksusawife @haru-jiminn @fancypeacepersona (reply to be tagged and if i forgot to tag you!)

[dontcryskxawng]

searching for... constructionworker!toji

constructionworker!toji who runs hot. wife-beater soaked through, calloused hands swiping hair off his sticky forehead. it's a boiling day, and his eyes roll up into his head whenever his supervisor calls him over to fix some rookie's work.

constructionworker!toji who's tongue swipes over the scar just above his pink lips as a drop of sweat slides down his face. he's been re-doing some guy's handiwork for the past hour and with where he's at, it's direct sunlight beaming down on his broad back.

constructionworker!toji who just needs to come home to his sweet baby after his long ass shift. he's so done with being around other sweaty men, piled up in some dusty site where he can't even smell the pretty perfume you always wear.

he needs a hot plate of food and a...

show more results? toggle the safesearch filter as content contains NSFW!! warnings: 18+ content. blowjob. one mention of breeding.

reloading...

constructionworker!toji who needs a hot plate of food and a blowjob. in any order. practically slumping through the front door of your apartment, he's not even kicking his shoes off before he's gruffing out a thick grumble of:

"c'mere."

like clockwork, you already know what's up. toji looks straight up dangerous, and you'd assume he wants to eat you instead of fuck you if you didn't know him so well.. or so you hoped. gods, he looked good. all muscle and that sinful sheen of sweat. those choppy tufts of hair that trailed just below his belly button, slyly hiding further down beneath his waistband. you could practically-

"aye."

"i said, c'mere."

thick fingers latch around the nape of your neck, pulling you in for a barely-there kiss. it's a peck, something to satiate you so you don't feel used when he's fucking into your throat in a couple minutes. seconds, if he could help it. but he knew his pretty baby was sensitive, so he couldn't go too far...

and just on schedule, you're taking the hint.

slipping down to your knees and tugging his waistband down. you leave his boxers on for the while and he rolls his eyes, wanting you to just get the fuck on with it. you wanted to make him feel good, though.

your mouth watered as you looked up at him, face pressed up against his prominent bulge as you mouthed over his clothed tip. you thought you were being so sultry, so sexy, and toji did too. buttt when you've worked a strenuous shift and your cock is practically throbbing, you get a little bit mean about it.

gripping your hair unceremoniously, toji yanks your lips off of his covered length. a string of spit connects your lips to the fabric of his briefs and he lets out a low hiss as he uses his other hand to free his gravid cock from it's bindings. it flops onto your cheek, and he grips the base of it, squeezing as he rubs the leaky tip over your ajar lips.

"quit playin'... been waiting all day." he drawls, smearing more pre before slapping the mushroom head on your tongue twice. "open real big for me, yeah?" he mumbles, a low growl in his throat as you obey, taking him fully in your mouth.

you resist the urge to gag as he does most of the work for you. you guys have been together foreverrr, in his mind you should be able to take him by now. he's delusional, though. and girthy. your eyes prick with tears at the corners as drool and his ever-leaking fluid slide down your chin and throat.

that ache in your jaw for the next twenty minutes goes rewarded as you hear the familiar low groan from your man. he's fully fucking your face now, and he has the twisted urge to pinch your nose with his hand that isn't gripping your hair at the base.

with a manly grunt, he ruts his full length as far into you as he can. an instinct only brought on by how much he loves breeding your tight hole down there. you feel him throb, and hot liquid spurt into your mouth. it's thick, and you want to gag again, but you don't.

pulling out of your mouth, he smears the tip of his softening cock down your chin before tugging his briefs back up.

"whatcha make for dinner? m' starving."

author's note: this is my FIRST post so pls give criticism!!

[cheriedivine]

𝐀𝐩𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 | chapter 2

previous | chapter 2 | next

꩜ Pairing: Ellie Williams x fem reader (no use of y/n)

꩜ CW: your usual swearing, mentions of smoking. (lmk if i missed any)

꩜ WC: 4.5K

꩜ A/N: I wanted to post chapter 2 before going back to school so here it is a little treat for y’all, and again tysm for the support on last chapter <3 I’m enjoying writing this so much and I’m building up the tension so bear with me…

୨୧─── ⋆୨୧⋆ ───୨୧─── ⋆୨୧⋆ ───୨୧─── ⋆୨୧⋆ ───୨୧

The apartment was quiet, save for the distant hum of a city that never fully slept. Golden morning light seeped through the curtains, cutting soft lines across the couch where Ellie slowly blinked awake—head foggy, mouth dry, and back a little stiff from the awkward angle she'd passed out in.

It took her a second to realize she wasn’t alone.

Your head was tucked against her shoulder, warm breath brushing lightly against her collarbone, your leg thrown halfway across hers like it had always belonged there. You were still asleep, face soft in the early light, hoodie slightly bunched at the shoulder. And Ellie—hungover and groggy as she was—couldn’t move. Wouldn’t dare to.

Something about the moment felt fragile, like shifting the wrong way might shatter whatever invisible thread tethered her to you right now. Her eyes wandered—over your cheek, your lashes, the way your mouth parted slightly as you slept. She knew that mouth. Knew the way it twisted into grins when you teased her, the way it stretched wide when you laughed, the way it moved when you rambled about work or scolded her for bringing the camera right in your face.

But right now, it wasn’t moving. Right now, it was inches from her own, and that fact suddenly felt... louder than it should’ve.

She swallowed. Throat drier than ever.

You’d always been like this with her, touchy, close, the kind of best friends who shared beds, jackets, inside jokes laced with too much affection to be totally harmless. But this? Waking up to your weight tucked into her like you were something she could lose?

That was new, it scared her. Or maybe it wasn’t. Maybe she was just too hungover.

Ellie exhaled slowly, shifting just enough to tilt her head back against the couch. Eyes to the ceiling. Trying not to think about the way her heart was beating a little faster than usual.

Trying not to think about how easy it would be to just… stay like this.

She closed her eyes for a second, trying to figure out how she could get up without waking you. Her mouth was dry, head pounding slightly—she needed water. And a cigarette. Badly.

But just as she was about to move, a pillow hit her square in the chest.

You stirred with a soft noise, blinking awake, clearly as confused as Ellie until your eyes landed on Jesse standing a few feet away, grinning like an idiot.

“Rise and shine!” he said way too cheerfully.

“I’m going to fucking kill you, dude,” Ellie groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose as she chucked the pillow back at him.

You rubbed the sleep from your eyes, your hair sticking up at odd angles from where you'd been slumped on Ellie’s shoulder all night.

“What time is it?” you mumbled through a yawn.

Ellie stumbled toward the coffee table and grabbed her phone. Dead. Of course.

“It’s past eleven,” Jesse answered before she could ask. “Dina went out to grab breakfast and told me to wake you two up. So… mission accomplished.”

You stretched out with a groan, the ache of the couch and last night’s twisted sleeping position settling in. Ellie made her way to the kitchen sink, filled a glass of water, and downed it in seconds. She filled it again, bringing it back to you without a word before digging around for her charger, and a cigarette.

Once her phone finally powered on, the screen lit up with a handful of missed calls from Joel.

“Shit,” she muttered, tapping to call him back. It barely rang before he picked up.

“The hell have you been? I got a weird-ass call last night from some lady asking for ‘camera girl’? Care to explain?”

Ellie winced, blowing out the smoke. “Uh. Yeah. Okay. So… I may or may not have given a girl your number to blow her off because I didn’t know how to turn her down politely.”

“How about you stop being a goddamn flirt? That’s a start,” Joel snapped. “Poor girl hung up the second she heard my voice.”

“Yeah, sorry about that, Joel. Won’t happen again,” she mumbled, hand scratching nervously at her neck.

You curled back up on the couch, watching her with a half-lidded gaze and a smirk that said you’re never gonna let her live that down.

Ellie settled on the small chair beside you, still embarrassed of the small inconvenient with Cat, thank god she might never have to see her again. She tied up her converse, adjusting her pants, until she heard the doorbell ring.

“Open the door, my hands are full!” Dina yelled from the hallway.

Jesse scrambled to his feet like he was on fire. “Yes, ma’am,” he muttered, flinging the door open as Dina stepped in with two bags—one filled with takeout containers and the other with orange juice and what looked like three kinds of aspirin.

“God bless you,” Ellie said, sitting at the kitchen counter, hunched over like someone who’d just fought in a war.

“Did you seriously wake up and had a smoke?” Dina asked, eyeing her. “You look like a raccoon that got hit by a truck.”

Ellie flipped her off, too lazy to do it with any real heat.

You sat up slowly, hair a mess, still wrapped in one of Dina’s throw blankets like a burrito. “I feel like a raccoon that got hit by a truck,” you mumbled.

Dina laughed and dropped the food on the table. “Eat. Hydrate. Shut up.”

Everyone shuffled around the kitchen table, opening takeout containers and sorting through plastic forks. Jesse popped open a bottle of orange juice and poured out uneven glasses for everyone, passing them around like he was tending bar.

Ellie slid into the chair next to you, her thigh brushing yours under the table. Tangling her foot with yours, something she always did when sitting next to you. You didn’t move away.

“You okay?” she asked quietly, leaning in a little.

You turned to her, lips quirking. “You’re the one who had a pillow to the chest, I think you’re the victim here.”

She smiled. “True, but you looked like you were actually dead when I got up. Like, I was genuinely wondering if you stopped breathing on me.”

You chuckled. “And yet you didn’t check?”

“I was gonna. But then I remembered you snore when you’re alive, so I waited it out.”

You narrowed your eyes at her, biting into a piece of toast. “I don’t snore.”

“Oh you do. It’s kind of adorable, though.”

Before you could come up with a smartass reply, Dina dropped a small bottle of ibuprofen in front of each of you.

“No one’s allowed to move until they eat, hydrate, and take two of these,” she ordered. “Hangover brunch is sacred.”

You leaned your shoulder into Ellie’s for a second, subtle, but she noticed. And she didn’t lean away.

After brunch wound down and everyone (Jesse) had gone home, Ellie offered to drive you back. You agreed, like she had any other choice anyway, but the plan shifted before you even made it out of the parking lot.

“Mind if we make a quick stop at the studio?” she asked, one hand on the wheel, the other lazily draped out the window. “Need to download the shots from yesterday’s shoot before I forget.”

You glanced at her, the curve of her jaw catching the light. “You mean the shoot where that one bridesmaid almost cried because the wind ruined her updo?”

Ellie snorted. “Yeah. That one.”

“Sure,” you shrugged, kicking your feet up on the dashboard like you always did in her truck. “Only if you let me judge your editing process.”

“Oh, I will lock you out of the studiot.”

“Rude.”

The car ride was quiet, in that easy, comfortable way you’d both settled since you met. The streets were mostly empty, Saturday afternoon lull in full effect. You watched the buildings blur past, music humming low through the speakers—some soft indie song from a playlist Ellie always had running but never let you see.

“So…” you started, moving a piece of her away from your face. “You sleep okay?”

She glanced over at you, raising a brow. “With you practically cutting off circulation in my arm? Like a baby.”

Ellie smirked, eyes still on the road. “You drooled on me.”

“I did not.”

“You absolutely did. I was gonna get up for water but I thought you might go feral if I moved.”

“Wow. What a gentleman.”

“Right? I deserve a medal.”

You chuckled, biting back a smile. There was something about being in her truck like this that always made the world feel smaller. Calmer. Safer.

Eventually, she pulled into the tiny parking lot behind her studio—a little second-floor space tucked between a florist and an out-of-business vape shop. She hopped out, locking the doors with a chirp, and tossed you the keys.

“In case some creep tries to break in, you can beat them with my keychain,” she joked.

You followed her upstairs, the steps creaking beneath your feet.

The studio smelled like citrus and dried eucalyptus—Ellie’s signature, apparently—and was scattered with gear, lighting rigs, camera lenses, and one stubborn plant that refused to die.

She had a small thrifted green couch where you often took naps after work, when she would come and pick you up. Her guitar was displayed on the wall in a hardwood frame Joel made for her, and her workspace was filled with film rolls, camera lenses, and her laptop. The walls were decorated with a bunch of her favorite pictures, a picture of Joel, the farm where she grew up with him, her horse shimmer, and a picture of you, that she had taken when you went to the museum with her.

She moved through the place like second nature, flicking on lights, booting up her laptop, connecting her camera to transfer the files. You perched on the arm of the couch, watching her with a soft kind of curiosity.

“So,” you said, “this was all just an excuse to hang out more, wasn’t it?”

Ellie looked up from her screen, caught. She tried to play it cool, that lazy smirk tugging at her lips. “What gave me away?”

You shrugged. “You never download photos the same day.”

“Touché.”

You swung your legs up onto the couch, leaning back into the cushions like you owned the place.

“I mean,” you said, “I don’t mind. Your studio has better lighting than my soul.”

Ellie snorted. “I don’t even know what that means.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

She let the silence settle again as she worked, but every now and then, she glanced up—just to look at you. And even if she didn’t know what it meant yet, she felt it. That pull.

That something.

You snuck a glance at the screen while Ellie scrolled through the photos. Her hands moved with practiced ease, eyes laser-focused, posture relaxed but precise. It hit you again—how talented she really was. She didn’t just take photos, she captured moments so beautifully throughout her lense, froze them in time, and made everything look so magical, straight out of a renaissance painting.

Then you saw her.

A girl in one of the shots—black hair styled in a sharp bob, delicate features, almond eyes that seemed to hold secrets. Effortless beauty. You nearly choked on your own spit.

“Who’s that?” you asked, pointing at the screen before you could stop yourself.

“Oh,” Ellie said casually, not even glancing up. “That’s Cat. The one who almost got me disowned by Joel.”

You blinked. “That’s her?”

“Mmhm.”

“She’s… beautiful.” You meant it, but the words felt sour in your mouth. Something twisted in your stomach—an odd, sour pang. Like the idea of Ellie flirting with someone like that made you queasy. Which was ridiculous. She was your best friend.

“Yeah,” Ellie said, scrolling past the photo. “Not my type though.”

You turned your head toward her, brow raised. “Since when do you have a type?”

She looked at you with a smirk, one eyebrow cocked. “Since when do you care, huh?”

You huffed and smacked her with the nearest throw pillow.

“Jesus—what is it with you people and violence today?” she laughed, shielding herself with both arms.

You grinned, flopping back into the couch beside her, sitting cross-legged. Your knee pressed lightly against her thigh, grounding you both in that familiar proximity that had always been so easy.

Ellie leaned back into her laptop, brows furrowed again in that intense little way she got when she was editing. Tongue poking out the side of her mouth—her tell. You’d seen her make that same face a thousand times over the last year and a half, but now, for some reason, it made your heart beat a little faster.

And you hated how much you noticed it.

You let the silence settle for a moment, the glow of her laptop casting soft light over her features. Green eyes glowing. You were trying very hard not to keep sneaking glances.

“Do you ever get tired of weddings?” you said, breaking the quiet,

Ellie snorted, eyes still on the screen. “Absolutely. I mean, I like the photos, yeah, but it’s always the same. Crying moms, drunk uncles, forced dancing.”

You smirked. “Sounds like a Tuesday at Dina’s.”

“Exactly. At least I don’t have to wear a dress to Dina’s,” she muttered, grimacing.

You laughed. “I’d pay money to see that.”

She turned to look at you then, finally tearing her gaze from the laptop. “That right?”

“Yup. I’d print it out. Frame it. Maybe even make a shrine.”

Ellie rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. “Remind me to never let you near my old Halloween photos.”

“Oh my god,” you gasped, leaning in. “You’ve worn one before?!”

“That’s none of your business.”

“Ellie.”

She grinned, leaning back on her hands. “Let’s just say… middle school was a weird time.”

You looked at her like you were staring at a ghost. “You absolutely have to show me now.”

“Fuck no.”

“I’ll find them.”

“You won’t.”

“I’ll text Joel”

“I’’ll tell him to block you, say you got hacked, his old ass would buy it”

But she was laughing, and that tight coil in your chest eased a little. But yet, something still buzzed beneath it all—unspoken, unnamed, just waiting for the moment one of you accidentally said too much.

An hour passed by, maybe more. Two half finished mugs of peppermint tea sat lukewarm on the small coffee table in front of the couch, the steam ong gone. Ellie had wrapped up editing the pictures a little while ago, but neither of you had moved. Conversation came easy and meandering like it always was when it was just the two of you. Your legs were lazily stretched across hers, while you rambled about something she couldn’t really keep up with. Not because she didn’t care, but because she was too distracted by you. The way your face looked soft in the tiny rays of sun that bleed through her window, your eyes relaxed, hair still undone and messy, lips moving freely. The calm way you existed beside her.

Then your phone buzzed across the table.

“Ugh,” you groaned, reaching for it without moving your legs. Ellie helped nudge it closer to you with her foot.

It was your roommate, Sally. A quick phone call to remind you it was your turn to buy groceries. She was off to see her boyfriend for the rest of the weekend, and had conveniently left the fridge empty.

“God, I hate grocery shopping,” you muttered, thinking about the long lines to the cashier, the blinding fluorescent lights, and carrying the bags back to your apartment. It wasn’t a task for the weak that’s for sure.

Ellie chuckled. “I can come with you, if you want.”

You blinked, “Wait really? I don’t wanna bother you.”

“Yeah I’ll drive.. Besides I could use some cereal and actual food for me” she shrugged, like it was no big deal “We can suffer in the cashier line together.”

You smiled, a soft kind of grateful. “Els you are an actual angel– You sure you’ve got nothing better to do than listen to me complain about the price of eggs?”

“Sounds like the perfect saturday plan” She said, standing up and stretching her arms above her head, her shirt riding up slightly Your eyes drifting a second too long at the exposed skin.

You shook your head, snapping out of it, standing too “Alright then, grab your keys. But can we stop at my place first? I need to get more cash, change my shirt, and definitely brush my teeth. I feel disgusting.”

Ellie grinned. “Yeah, wouldn’t want you showing up to the grocery store smelling like peppermint tea and moral decay”

“Oh shut up,” you laughed, tossing a cushion at her chest. She caught it with ease and added, “Okay okay let’s go stinky.”

When you arrived, Ellie parked out front like she’d done a hundred times before.

“Be right back,” you said, hopping out and unlocking the front door, luckily for you your apartment was on the first floor. “Wanna come in?”

Ellie hesitated for half a second before killing the engine and stepping out. “Sure. I’ll make sure you don’t get distracted by your phone again.”

You laughed as she followed you inside. Your apartment was cozy, very clean and tidy, with the exception of your little cluttered corner with books, cd’s and vinyls. You headed towards your room, while Ellie drifted to the small kitchen counter, settling herself on the wooden stool. Eyes wandering toward the shelves that contained some framed pictures of you and your roommate and half-burnt candles, she fidgeted with the hem of her jacket. Eyes anywhere but your bedroom door.

Her mind started divagating to yesterday’s incident. Suddenly a wave of shame crashing into her, how could she possibly look at you that way? But the way you’d been tucked against her side like it was the most natural thing in the world, it was natural. It was how you were with her, always close, always touchy. That was the problem. You’d always touch her like that, leaning on her, throwing your legs over hers, calling her your best friend while curling into her like she was the safest fucking place you’d ever known. ‘Fuck. Nope, I can’t do this.’ She thought to herself.

And now here she was, sitting stiffly like an idiot while you were changing your shirt in the other room. She could hear the faint sound of drawers opening, a closet creaking, and her mind was absolutely betraying her.

She reached for a glass and filled it with water, just to give her hands something to do. Stupid. She felt stupid.

In your room, you peeled off your hoodie and tossed it in the laundry basket, grabbing a freshly washed tank-top that paired perfectly with the light grey sweatpants you were wearing. You ran to the bathroom to brush your teeth quickly, spitting out the foam with a groan.

“Ellie?” you called from the hallway, “you still there?”

“Yeah! just having a glass of water” she replied, trying to keep her tone casual.

You stepped out of the bathroom finally, fresh shirt on, hair quickly finger-combed back into place. You looked at her and smiled, oblivious to the mess in her head.

“Alright, ready to go?”

Ellie slid off the kitchen counter, grabbing her keys from her little carabiner. “Yup”.

She made a beeline towards the door, holding it open for you, and for a second you felt that same warmth settle between you. Charged in a way you’d spent a long time ignoring.

The grocery store wasn’t as crowded as you’d imagined, but the cold air made you grumble under your breath the moment you walked in, suddenly regretting your shirt choice. Ellie grabbed a cart without you asking, which made you grin, and you tossed your bag inside before taking the front, lazily pushing it while she trailed beside you.

You moved slowly through the aisles, grabbing the things from your shopping list, fruit, snacks, your favorite cereal, and bitching about prices.

“Three dollars for a fucking cucumber,?” you muttered, tossing it into the produce bag. “What’s it made of? Gold?”

Ellie smirked. “Maybe it comes with a motivational speech.”

You turned to her with a deadpan stare. “Remind me why you’re here?”

“Because you begged me to come.” she said leaning onto the cart with a lazy grin.

“Oh is that right?” you teased, tossing a box of granola bars into the cart “You basically threw yourself at me.”

She hummed, clearly entertained, not bothering to hide how much she liked poking at you.

There was something about the two of you in this mundane setting–like everything slowed down. Her jacket sleeves pushed up slightly, peeking at the moth tattoo on her forearm. Rings catching under the aisle lights as she tapped them gently against the cart handle. The way her eyes followed you when you weren’t looking, like she couldn’t help herself.

At one point, you reached for something on a high shelf, standing in your tiptoes, fingers brushing the edge of a box of instant coffee, and just when you were about to call Ellie for help, she was already grabbing the coffee box, your faces inches away from the other, you could feel your cheeks heat up, hoping Ellie couldn’t notice it.

“Tragic how much you need me, she teased, you could feel her breath on your cheek, but you wouldn’t let her get away with it.

“Tragic how your ego fits in this aisle.”

The bickering faded into easy silence after a bit, your bodies moving in rhythm around each other. You picked out yogurt while Ellie grabbed frozen berries. She waited while you scanned your list twice, walking slowly behind you, close enough to graze your shoulder every now and then.

Eventually, with a full cart and your stomachs starting to rumble, you headed to the checkout line.

“Dinner at your place?” she asked casually.

You paused, glancing at her. “You staying the whole day or what?”

She shrugged, lips pulling up. “You want me to?”

You didn’t answer right away. Just turned to face forward in line, hiding the heat on your cheeks with a small smirk.

“You already know the answer.”

Ellie smiled to herself, the kind that never quite reached her mouth but burned in her eyes.

She was in deep shit.

Back at your place, the groceries were dumped on the kitchen counter, brown paper bags scattered messily. Ellie kicked off her shoes near the door, already familiar with the routine. You tied up your hair, a few pieces falling out, framing your face naturally, relaxed. Ellie turned on the tiny speaker in the corner, playing some mellow playlist in the background.

She lingered near the stove, watching you unload the bags like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Leaning lazily there, arms crossed, eye following you every move. She’d blame it on the hangover if you asked.

“You making that thing with the mushrooms?” she spoke up, nodding toward the bag of veggies.

You grinned. “You say that like it’s not your favorite.”

She tilted her head, looking pleased. “It is. That’s why I asked.”

You got to work, chopping up some onions and garlic, slicing the mushrooms and chicken breast, working at the diner for the past two years had actually rubbed on you, you were a great cook. Ellie pulled herself together enough to start the pasta water. You worked on sync without thinking—passing spices back and forth, bumping elbows, making dumb comments whether the sauce needed more salt.

It felt… easy. Like something you’d done a hundred times before. And maybe you haf.

Dinner was ready before either of you noticed, You plated it quickly, Ellie’s favorite creamy chicken mushroom pasta, handing her a bowl without even asking how much she wanted, because you already knew.

You both sat on the couch, the coffee table your makeshift dining space. Her knees brushed yours. You put on a show, one that you and Ellie had already watched a hundred times, but it eventually became background noise. Neither of you really paying attention to it.

Midway through dinner, you glanced over and caught her already looking at you.

“What?” you asked, blinking at her. “Do I have something on my face?”

Ellie tilted her head, pretending to examine you. “It’s just—” She leaned in, reaching up with her hand, and gently wiped something from the corner of your mouth with her thumb. “—There,” she said softly, not breaking eye contact for even a second.

Then she pulled her hand away and before you could react—licked the sauce off her finger.

Your brain short-circuited.

She returned to her plate like nothing had happened, completely oblivious to the way you stared at her, stunned into stillness. She was chewing quietly, legs folded beneath her on the couch, her hair falling slightly over her eyes as she focused on her food.

Ellie’s heart, however, was going ballistic. What the fuck was that? she thought, eyes glued to her food to avoid looking at you again. She’d just licked sauce off her finger like this was some rom-com dinner date instead of a casual best friends hangout. Her face was burning, but thankfully the soft flicker of the TV and warm glow of the candles you’d lit disguised the flush on her cheeks.

You turned your attention back to the screen in silence, bowl resting in your lap, the warmth of it grounding you just enough to pretend nothing happened. You hit play on the next episode, leaned back into the couch, your knees still lightly brushing hers. You didn’t pull away.

Neither did she.

Your heart was pounding. Loud. Distracting. What is wrong with me? you whispered, only to yourself.

Minutes passed. Comfortable silence again, with occasional comments on the show and the soft clink of utensils against ceramic bowls. But something had shifted—something small, but very real, lingering between you both like static.

Eventually, Ellie glanced at her phone, then at the window. It was dark, and late.

“I should probably head out,” she said, voice a little softer than before.

You looked over at her, nodding slowly. “Shit. I didn’t even realize the time.”

Neither of you moved for a second.

She stood first, gathering your empty plates without being asked and taking them into the kitchen. You followed behind, hands in the pockets of your sweatpants, watching as she rinsed off the dishes and placed them in the sink.

“Thanks for dinner,” she said, drying her hands on a dish towel. You smiled, a little shy now.

“Thanks for coming grocery shopping with me.”

Ellie laughed under her breath, rubbing the back of her neck.

“Text me when you get home?” you asked, more gently.

She looked at you, her eyes soft. “Always.”

You walked her to the door, shoulder brushing hers, both of you pretending not to notice. She stepped out into the hallway, turned to face you again for a brief second, like she might say something more.

But then she just gave you a small, lopsided smile.

“Night, stinky.”

“Night, Els.”

You closed the door behind her and leaned your forehead against it for a moment, exhaling.

God, you were so screwed.

୨୧─── ⋆୨୧⋆ ───୨୧─── ⋆୨୧⋆ ───୨୧─── ⋆୨୧⋆ ───୨୧

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[madamechrissy]

Just Friends!? - Sukuna's POV

Warnings- some mentions of sex in the past, mainly just a lot of pining and a lot of angst - story is Sato/reader but Kuna had it bad for reader too

Sooo many people have been loving on Sukuna from Just Friends that I wanted to do a little drabble style mini pov for him! This is set during Part Five of the nerdjo/reader fic!

Sukuna reaches up to grab a plate that's just too high for you to reach, his hand brushing the small of your back purposefully as he does, hearing your catch of breath. He tenses, as it takes just about everything in him not to drag your back against him, to plant hot kisses along the side of your neck.

Sukuna remembers vividly being with you in high school, he remembers you riding him and smacking your head against the roof of his corvette, giggling and fumbling against your skirts, he remembers devouring you after school before he had to take you home, his mind has it just like yesterday, even though it's been eight long years.

The worst part is he left you.

You said you loved him one night, and it fucking terrified him, he was eighteen and had offers from top colleges far away for football, but he felt he'd turn it all down and disappoint his family if he did so - just to be with you. So he pulled back, he tried to act casual, you two split apart and he dated other girls, he fooled around to forget you. But the entire time, he saw you with him, even during the relationship.

Satoru Gojo.

You danced with him at prom after you two broke up, and Satoru Gojo had probably never been more happy in his nerdy little life. And Sukuna was furious, at your connection, your friendship - even when you were dating he couldn't stand him always around. You and Satoru were so close in every way, since grade school, how the fuck did he compete with that?

So Sukuna picked on Satoru, bullied him, of course he did. Back then he was indeed a whole dick, but no one really knew why, the rhyme or reason behind his particular problem with Satoru Gojo. He could feel and see how in love he was with you, and what was once kind of just annoying became a threat. He didn't think he could get you back with Satoru constantly around, hugging you, watching movies with you, walking you around the mall after school - you were always with him.

It was never that Satoru was a nerd, you were a nerd, and he thought it was cute if anything. No, it was the feeling that you were never all his, you were always shared with your 'best friend'. The day Satoru left town forever at the graduation party, you didn't forgive Sukuna for chasing your best friend off, your tears that night he can't forget, and no amount of messaging you or reaching out was going to fix it, ever, and he did try over the years.

Now, you're allowing him in your home, you're looking up at him with those eyes that he never did forget, and he feels a gnawing ache. Sukuna had tried to sum it up to a high school crush, but he always wondered - what if he had stayed? What if he had said he loved you too?

"What's on your mind, brat?" He murmurs, leaning low, his ruby eyes glinting as you look up at him, his thick muscled arms on either side of you, barring you against the counter.

"Thinking about back then." You murmur softly, he sighs then.

"Yeah, what about it?" Your eyes narrow a bit then, and the doorbell rings now.

“I’ll go get it.” Your mom says then, smiling over at you two, when Sukuna brushes his rough, calloused fingers against your delicate cheek, feeling it warm to the touch.

“Kuna…” The name ends him, he never thought he'd hear it again from you.

“There’s that nickname.” You glare, so cute he can't take it, and he just chuckles, tilting your chin up to make you look at the tall man then. “What is on that mind, though? Memories?”

“Of you being a dick.” He sighs, dropping his hand then.

“Yeah, I was. A big dick to you. An idiot.” You blink a bit, shaking your head, your hair falling softly in the curls you've wove it into, he takes a ringlet around one of his fingers, rough from years of football, but with you he'd be so gentle.

God imagine touching you again, everywhere, the heat he can feel as his thigh presses just a bit between yours. Your eyelashes flutter as you tense, looking away nervously, and his heart pounds in his ears as he hears a familiar voice. Satoru just so happens to be back, a pretentious asshole of a model now, just when Sukuna thinks maybe there was a shot at knowing you again.

He almost doesn't feel bad that he picked on the little shit, if it wasn't for hurting your feelings. “No, I mean, look at your life? It’s amazing.”

“It’s not all amazing, okay? I thought of you a lot. I wanted to reach out-”

“Satoru is here, honey.” Your mom's words reach both of your ears, he curses softly, realizing by the expression on your face that you're relieved he made it. His fists clench, opening his mouth to speak, but the idiot model has walked into the room, all disheveled and glaring daggers with his weird ass blue eyes at Sukuna's proximity. Sukuna can't help but smirk over at him.

He supposes he was right in worrying all this time, because the way that lanky white haired man looks at you, it's clear he's as in love with you as he ever was. Sukuna can't compete with twenty years of simping and devotion, even though it would have been nice to know you once more, to feel you again. He steps away as you put a hand on his chest now, it feels far too good.

"Just a moment, Sukuna." He nods, but he already knows, the glaring little shit that is Satoru Gojo is going to fucking rip your heart out all over again. But... was Sukuna really so much better?

Okayyyy I hope you enjoyed some insight into Sukuna here!!! It's VERY MUCH a Satoru/reader but so many of you love Sukuna so much I wanted to show more of who he was and how he is feeling. (also I'm on a Sukuna kick) if you want more little insights into my stories hit the inbox and I'll try to get some done!!

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[bluukive]

Eyes On You

summary - you finally decide to give the gym a go, getting yourself involved with a man who's dead set on pushing you to your limits

wc - 5.4k

content - MDNI, insecure!reader x gymowner!Sukuna, mentions of weight, Sukuna's harsh at first, eventual mutual pining, solo mast. (m + F, separate), 0ral (f receiving), face s;tting, handj0b, slight body worship, submissive reader, freaky in the gym shower (anyone could hear them...but no one does?), teasing, hella unrealistic, really amateur writing like please I'm cringing so hard

an - uhm I've never written a mini fic before !! please excuse the awkward writing

Lazily proofread by me mb

It took all the courage you had to even think about signing up to the gym that opened down the road, but the little voice in the back of your head was telling you to go. Just check it out, it said. Walk around a little, and then right back out. Shouldn’t be hard, right?

Right?

Wrong. How wrong you were. It was easier said than done in hindsight, but you didn’t expect the heavy thud of rock music to blare throughout the facility until you felt your bones tremble. Nor did you expect large gaggles of gym bros swarming around the equipment, a few heads turning the moment you pushed open the glass door. Sure, there were enough women there also, but not enough to deter you from yanking the drawstrings of your hoodie. Your vision became obstructed as the hood tightened around your face, whispered curses leaving your lips.

“Shit, shit, shit,” you muttered, eyes darting side to side as the social anxiety set in. You were close to turning around on your heel and out of this building, leg already twitching. But a low, gravelly voice called out to you from beside a water fountain you were unfortunately standing too close to. 

“Lost? Nervous? Which one is it, girl?”

You don’t know how you missed this giant of a man, especially when his cropped, pink hair made him stick out like a sore thumb. Some strands were plastered to his sweaty forehead and concealed the judgement of his stare. Barely. His tank top also did a poor job of hiding those hulking muscles, flexing slightly with full veins as he gripped his water bottle. Looks like you caught him mid-workout. Oh, and you’re gawking like an idiot.

Nice going. 

“Are you deaf or something? Speak up already,” the stranger clicked his tongue impatiently, and you internally panicked. You wondered whether manifestation was real and if you could will for the stranger to just explode. Actually, make it the entire room. An embarrassed grimace appeared on your face as you realised you had the attention of a couple of people on you.

“Uh, no. No, I’m not deaf. Just looking around,” you began to explain, undoing the drawstrings of your hoodie once you realised how utterly stupid you must have looked. But then the stranger gave you a grimace of his own, lips quirking up as his eyes landed on your dishevelled hair. You looked like a mess. 

Way to go. Now you can’t show your face in public. And yes, it really was that deep.

And so you smoothened your hair out and plastered an overly enthusiastic grin on your face to compensate for the fact you couldn’t socialise. “Where do I sign up?”

He snorted, a sceptical brow raised as he checked out your incredibly outdated attire. “You want to sign up?” 

You nodded. Fuck, you weren’t even meant to say that. The urge to slap a hand over your forehead grew tenfold, but you fought it.

A shaky breath left you as you gave in to that little voice reminding you that no, you didn’t fit into those jeans you’ve had your eyes on for a while. No, your mom hadn’t stopped making comments about your body and lack of love life. 

“...Yes, please,” you said after a beat of silence, and that was that. Sukuna, who was apparently a trainer, led you through the whole process. Sign this, read that, fork over some of your wage. You know, the typical procedure. The new you was coming very soon, you told yourself after internally crying over the money spent. You’ll buy those jeans in no time.

═══════★

“Sloppy fuckin’ form, girl. Sharpen up,” Sukuna barked, circling around you like a goddamn hawk. 

Oh, you swore you were going to quit that gym soon. He had been riding your ass for the past couple of weeks, pushing you further than you’ve ever pushed yourself. Sukuna called you out on your bullshit that first day when you tried hiding in the corner with your phone out, coaxing you onto a mat and making you stretch. Since then, Sukuna kept an eye on you, making sure you were red-faced by the end of the workout. 

A sharp click of his tongue brought you back from your thoughts. You groaned, raising your hips from the floor and spreading out your limbs. You were currently doing a plank, which appeared to be dissatisfactory in Sukuna’s eyes. 

“I’m doing it, I’m doing it,” you hissed, head tilting up as best as you could so that you may glare at your tormentor. A scoff left his lips.

“Yeah, you’re as intimidating as fuckin’ pebble right now. Head down.”

Your head dropped reluctantly. The quiet grunt you accidentally let out didn’t escape the trainer, but he wasn’t about to soften up. Neither were you out of sheer stubbornness. 

However, the burn in your thighs and arms became more noticeable. An ‘oof’ sound left your lips as your jellied arms buckled and you face-planted the floor. Another tut and more chuckles from the other members scattered in the gym. 

“Take five,” Sukuna couldn’t help but roll his eyes at you. 

A dismissive noise left you as you remained face-down on the floor, Sukuna’s fading footsteps and mutters of annoyance filling your reddening ears. Your face burned. 

Swallow your pride and quit, the voice in your head mocked. 

But two weeks in? You couldn’t. Not when you had stupidly formed a grudge against Sukuna for pushing you so hard too early on. You shook your head and got back into form, lower lip jutting out in sheer determination. You were completely unaware of the approving nod from the other end of the room.

═══════★

Walking was simply out of the question today. You threw the covers off and gritted your teeth at the way your legs throbbed with each shift of your body. 

It had been maybe five sessions since you had face-planted the floor in front of Sukuna. It didn't look like he'd ease up any time soon after that incident. In fact, he grew meaner. That apparently made you like him more.

The mere thought of him made you shrivel up in bed and grimace, but you couldn’t fight the slight inkling of attraction you felt towards him, slight being an understatement.

It was bound to happen eventually, right? You'd be stupid not to be attracted to him. Each muscle looked like it had been carved right out of stone. Hell, now that you think about it, it was probably also those unamused looks he was throwing your way that made you keep going back to that cursed gym. 

You were there now after hyping yourself up in the mirror back home. Not for too long, though. One look at your chest flailing around was enough to make you curl your lip and shrug on that tacky pair of sweats and hoodie you liked to work out in. You skipped breakfast and settled on a shitty cereal bar you found in your kitchen. It wasn't the best thing to do, but you were set on losing weight. 

The air reeked, to be frank. It was the first thing you noticed after walking into the gym. Testosterone and sweat mixed with a strong hit of regret. Regardless, you pushed through and continued shuffling on your boneless legs. You set your bag down in some lonely corner and mentally prepared yourself for Sukuna to berate you about God knows what. It was something new every time you came here. 

“Told your stubborn ass to stretch after the workout,” he drawled once he sauntered over, an amused look on his face. “Just had to stomp out like a little brat, didn’t you?”

“That's not true. I just wanted to go home and shower,” you scoffed in response. But Sukuna didn’t reply. Instead, he raised a brow that screamed oh, really? You could feel the back of your neck prickle with an uncomfortable heat as he stared you down. 

And then he walked off. Asshole.

“So fucking weird. I mean, who does that?” you rambled to no one, getting in form and raising your arms over your head as you stretched. The slight sting of your muscles being used was actually rather welcome for once. 

═══ Later ═══

By the time you were done, you were warm and sweaty. Sukuna hadn’t spoken to you much today, too busy chewing out a new member of the gym. Poor dude, you thought. But at least it wasn't you. 

This gave you time to look in the mirror, a poor habit of yours. Your eyes cast over your body agonisingly slow as you checked for any changes in physique. Little bursts of cool air hit your flushed skin when you lifted your t-shirt with one hand slightly to inspect yourself, the other hand fanning your face. You then sighed, running a hand over your hip. 

“The fuck are you doing?” 

A garbled yelp left you as you dropped your top and looked at Sukuna from the mirror without turning around. His red eyes were trained at your hip, and he looked almost disappointed at the fact that your clothes had covered again. You whizzed around and stood there stiff. A pause, and then you were wondering why the hell your mouth was starting to run. 

“Nothin’. None of your business,” you chuckled nervously, hands clenching at your sides. “Just checking progress.” 

“Yeah, ‘cus that’s the only reason why you cop a feel of your own body after every session looking like a kicked puppy,” Sukuna’s eyes remained lidded, flicking between the mirror and you. 

“Oh, cmon. I look nothing like a kicked puppy-”

“Yeah, you do. Every single time.”

“You're watching me like some perv-”

“And what?”

You paused and inhaled deeply, a stupid smirk appearing on Sukuna's lips as you grew increasingly frustrated with him. “Will you at least let me finish my sentence?”

“No can do. Wanna explain yourself?” He asked, beefy arms folding over his chest. You had to forcefully drag your eyes away from the slight jiggle of his pecs, your body reacting similarly to that of a Victorian male seeing an ankle for the first time. 

“Eyes up here. Talk to me,” Sukuna repeated, softer this time. Your hands fiddled with each other as you debated whether to open up to this hothead. It was likely that he'd a) make fun of you, or b) propose on the spot and fawn over how perfect you were (extremely unlikely, but a girl could dream).

Sukuna watched as your lips parted and the lie tumbled out of your mouth since it was easier than telling the truth.

“Just stretching.”

An unimpressed grunt rumbled in the man's chest. “Bullshit, but keep telling yourself that.”

“Tch. What else am I doing then?”

“Fuck knows, but quit it. That's not healthy,” a finger jabbed at your forehead, and you swatted his hand away without thinking. Your chest tightened slightly. Was that genuine concern?

Sukuna saw your reluctance to accept his words, making him shoot a deadpan look your way. “I'm being serious. Stop grabbing at yourself before I throw a dumbbell at the mirror,” he scolded, narrowed eyes boring into yours.

“I see you busting your ass every time you're here. You may not think I notice it, but I do. Trust me. Do you really think I’d push someone so hard if I didn’t see something in them?”

He was speaking to you like a trainer now, but you could hear some of his own personal feelings slip through the cracks. It made your throat feel tighter. 

“To be honest, I didn't think you'd see,” you mumbled, swallowing the lump in your throat and wiping your increasingly sweaty hands on your t-shirt.

“Well, I have. Now, stop touching your hips like that. They're fine,” he scolded. Sukuna didn't even wait for a reply as he walked off, probably to slap the back of someone's head again.

For the first time that day, your body felt less heavy. 

And you could confidently meet your eyes in the mirror again. 

═══════★

With your eyes fluttering shut, you shifted and lay on your back whilst reminiscing on Sukuna's words. Maybe it was your memory playing tricks on you, but you swore his eyes lingered on your body in an appreciative way. Maybe he saw more in you than you had ever seen in yourself. But realistically, maybe you were that attention deprived that you were making up scenarios to feel special. 

An exasperated groan left you as you rubbed your face in your hands, heat creeping up onto your cheeks yet again. Honestly? You couldn't remember the last time you felt so whipped over someone before. It had been just under a month since you joined that gym, and Sukuna was already plaguing your every thought. 

It's not like Sukuna was your teacher or anything. You were both legal adults. Yeah, maybe you were just some stubborn brat who frequented his gym. But that didn't mean you couldn't feel anything for him. 

But why did you feel guilty? Was it the way he was so uncaring yet so observant at the same time that made you feel this way? Or was it the fact that you saw yourself as unworthy of this arousal?

Regardless, you could feel your cunt beginning to ache. You tried relieving it by squeezing your thighs together, but it was useless. The muscles in your body still felt tight, and the effects of the gym lingered. God, why couldn’t you escape him?

Slick noises filled the bedroom not long after you began questioning your whole dynamic with Sukuna. Yes, it was deeply embarrassing and you’ll surely regret it later. But right now, the sensation of your fingers rubbing tight circles over your clit was too pleasurable to ignore. 

With each ashamed jerk of your hips as you lay there, the plush skin of your thighs shook as you raised it slightly and bent your knee. Even though you lived alone and no one was around to hear you, you bit into your fist to conceal the plethora of needy mewls and gasps falling from your lips. The towel had come undone, exposing the curves of your writhing body. The cool air contrasted deliciously with the wet heat between your parted legs. Now that your breasts were free, the hand at your mouth moved lower so that you lazily brush a couple fingers over a hardened nipple. 

But the moment you did that, existential dread crept over you and you withdrew your hand. Self-consciousness hit you like a ton of bricks and you sat up abruptly, face burning at the fact that you were getting off at the thought of some musclehead at the gym. Your eyes fluttered down, unfocused and blurry from denying yourself of an orgasm. You guessed it was time for another shower. Maybe that’d wash the shame off of you. 

═══════★

After a few days of ignoring the urge to go to the gym, you gave in and dragged yourself out of your home. There’s no way you could look at Sukuna in the eye now. That was one of the many thoughts whizzing round your head as you kept your eyes low and headed to your usual corner of the gym. You could smell the lecture coming from the pink-haired man from a mile away, and boy, you were right. 

You were barely done with your first warmup set when you heard his gruff voice cut through the blaring music. He was not amused. 

“You suuure took your sweet time coming back, Sick of working out already?”

And that’s when you froze. Your heart quite literally dropped to your ass once you managed to stand up straight, but your eyes remained on the mat below you both. 

“Was busy, that’s all,” which was a bold lie. He could tell.

“Hm,” Sukuna began. “Looks like you were too busy to even do your stretches properly.”

A thick set of fingers met your back, the digits pressing into your spine so that your posture was correct. An awkward noise left your lips at the contact.

“Straighten up. At this rate, you won’t even be able to workout because of body pains.”

But that was the least of your problems. Fantasies of his hands coaxing your thighs open and his tongue doing unspeakable things to you filled your mind, causing you to move back sharply. You cleared your throat, noticing again the displeased look on Sukuna’s face.

“I didn’t think you’d care if I turned up or not,” you admitted sheepishly, a bold assumption on your end.

A low, hum of laughter rumbled in his chest, which quite frankly did nothing to soothe the steady pulsing between your thighs. “Oh, I don’t. I just don’t want to be losing out on money through your absence.”

Ouch. 

Your head turned, and he saw the mildly offended look on your face. His words were just enough to make you forget about the heat of his body as he walked around slowly to stand in front of you. 

“I’m kidding, i'm kidding. Mostly," he borderline purred. "Is everything okay, though? You’ve been ignoring me more than you usually do,” Sukuna cocked his head to the side, and you wondered how he could sound both amused and irritated at the same time.

A short huff left your lips, almost sounding amused. If only he knew why you had been avoiding him.

“Nah, everything’s good. Just working out, y’know. Like a normal person would.”

Sukuna’s lip quirked up again, a stupidly attractive habit he had when he felt playful. “Riiiight. If that’s the case, stop lookin’ at me like I’ve fucked your life up or something.”

Your brows furrowed as you struggled to keep your eyes on him. The fuck did he know?! But that frantic look on your face didn’t stop him from running that mouth of his. 

“Oh, but who knows? I might have already. And in that case?” he let his voice drop down a couple of notches, leaning forward until you could practically taste his aftershave on your tongue. “You’re welcome, I guess.” He let his eyes drift down, pausing at your lips, and then down to the swell of your breasts through your t-shirt. 

Were you meant to ask him to look for longer, or slap him?

Once the realisation that maybe, just maybe Sukuna was attracted to you settled in your stomach like a heavy weight, he pulled back and walked away slowly, eyes on you until the last possible moment. You blinked once, then twice. 

You were dumbfounded, but also aroused. What the hell was going on with you both?

═══════★

Sukuna’s private office was…something. Low hanging fluorescent lights flickered periodically as he sat there in the busted chair, sun already having set outside. The occasional clang of metal reverberated around the gym outside of the private wall, and the air inside was heavy with dust, sweat, and intense longing. 

Sukuna’s eyes were screwed shut, unable to physically eat the half-chewed apple on his desk. His cock was aching in his sweats. It’s only been under a week since you came back to the gym, and he’s losing it. He’d be lying if he said you had caught his eye immediately. Sukuna remembers the day you came bumbling in like an idiot into his gym all wide-eyed like you’ve never seen a man before. 

But how wrong he was. You had a mouth on you under all that awkwardness. But most importantly, you were so reactive. He doesn’t know why he liked it so much, but seeing you stiffen up at his touches, push out your lower lip when he pissed you off… It really set him off. Not to mention the noises, God. Your soft pants after a workout, your low groans as you stretched those legs of yours.

Honestly? Sukuna didn’t understand why on earth you were so insecure. He had the urge to drag you away from the mirror every time he saw that disappointed look on your face after each workout session. He could spend ages running his hands across every soft inch of your body to show you that you were fine. There was no need for you to push yourself so hard. 

The mental imagery of burying his face deep into your pussy pained him. It was embarrassing, really, the way he was always ogling at you bent over the dumbbell racks or watching your throat bob with every gulp of water. Sukuna rubbed his face with his hands, groaning and manspreading further in his seat as his cock practically weeped to be freed. He could feel the front of his boxers dampen with his precum, which he had been trying to ignore for a while now. But it was useless. Sukuna may have felt like a hormonal idiot for freeing his length from the confinements of his sweatpants, but he saw no use in denying himself the pleasure of fantasising you on top of him. 

It wasn’t long before Sukuna had a large hand nestled deep in his pants, wrapped around his throbbing cock. He couldn’t be bothered taking it out, and something about ruining his clothes to the thought of you made it all the more thrilling. When he shut his eyes, he could see the full outline of your body underneath your clothes, the way the outline of your sports bra was visible due to sweat after vigorously exercising. 

His cock twitched in his hand and he finally began pumping his hand lazily. Sukuna could imagine you walking in on him, the frazzled look you’d shoot his way. He wanted you to see him like this, but unfortunately for him, you had gone home. 

“Fuckin’ hell, you’ve done it now. Messed me up all good and p-proper, huh?” His hand continued to move, wrist rolling expertly. Almost as if he was used to jerking off to the thought of you. Sukuna’s head tipped back as he pictured you on your knees, lips glossy with his cum and body eager to please him. Oh, you'd look so pretty with your tits pressed together as you sat their obediently.

The chair creaked once he started rutting into his hand frantically. His hips jerked once, then again as his orgasm hit him. It hit him hard. It was messy and the waves of shame hit him at the same time ropes of thick cum coated his fingers and the insides of his sweats. 

Uneven pants filled that small office, and Sukuna finally withdrew his fingers and wiped them clean with a nearby rag he kept nearby. He could feel his heart hammering in his throat, and he actively avoided looking down at the mess he made inside of his sweats. 

Maybe Sukuna felt ashamed. He definitely should have. But there was no way in hell Sukuna would ever stop thinking about you. 

═══════★

You should have gone home and showered there like you usually did. But the tension between you and Sukuna exactly two days later had you on edge. You weren’t thinking straight, water bottle empty and chest heaving from overexertion. Your aching feet dragged to the gym showers instead, where you stripped after setting up all of your belongings. That berry-scented body wash just screaming your name. 

Sukuna however, came with other plans. He was thanking the stars that the gym was mostly empty, and there was little to no chance of anyone walking in. Plot armour, one may call it. 

You were in the middle of washing your body, washcloth scrubbing at your chest and getting them all soapy. How odd Sukuna was acting today, you muttered to yourself, recalling how his stare never left you and how his jaw remained tightly clenched. You were almost afraid he’d break a tooth.

The obnoxious creak of the shower-room doors brought you out of your daydreams, and you were glad the curtains concealed you from the eyes of whoever had just walked in. You were thinking to yourself that gosh, they really should oil up the hinges, but the curtains opened. Your eyes landed on a very pent-up Sukuna, whose eyes were shamelessly ogling at your nude body. You merely blinked at him, brain trying to catch up with what was going on.

“So, hey! One person per shower!?” you practically shrieked, backing up when Sukuna entered the shower and shut the curtain behind him. He’s soaking in the sight, clothes becoming drenched as the hot water beat down on both of you. Sukuna’is breath met the steam as he exhaled heavily, finally forcing himself to speak. 

“Gonna tell me to fuck off any time soon? Say something, pretty girl,” he cooed raspily, head cocked slightly to the side as he hunched over you. You could only stare back up at him, blinking away the spray of water. But the way your pussy clenched around nothing told you all you needed to know. You were positive you wanted him, so you gave him a nod. 

That was enough of an invitation for Sukuna to capture your bottom lip with his teeth, sucking it lightly into his mouth as he initiated a kiss under the spraying showerhead. You wanted to kiss back, but everything about Sukuna screamed urgency. You could barely register the fact that he was nipping at your neck, sucking a nipple into his mouth as his greedy hands pawed at every inch of skin you had to offer. 

“R-ryo, please wait-”

“No waiting. Don’t you dare tell me to wait,” he gritted out, sinking onto the tiles and using his hands to maneuver you around so that your rear was in his face. You winced at the sensation of the cold tiles your breasts were pressed up against, but you had no time to complain about it when Sukuna used both hands to spread the supple fat of your ass apart. A sharp gasp ripped out of your throat and your head whipped behind you to check.

“What exactly do you think you’re doin-”

He doesn't allow you to finish your sentence. The fiend angled his head, flattened his tongue and licked a fat stripe from your pussy to ass. You shrieked, hands flailing as you tried to grip the tiles unsuccessfully. A sharp swat to your ass served as a reminder to keep quiet, so you slapped a hand over your kiss-bitten lips. Sukuna took this as a chance to grab one of your calves and lifted it to the side, allowing him to groan deeply at the way your pussy spread so nicely for him. The fact that he could do so with such ease had you positively shaking. 

Your foot slipped ever so slightly on the wet tiles, but Sukuna was there to grip you even tighter, digging his fingers into the ample layer of fat over your hip to steady you. He dove back in, mouth hot on the entirety of your cunt as he ate you out like a man possessed. A garbled cry left your lips as you let your hand leave the tile. Sukuna was beyond pleased when you twisted his short hair into your fist and tugged, beginning to practically ride his face. 

“Fucking starving today, y’know?” he huffed in between filthy slurps. “Acting all shy for what, when your body is this fuckin’ slutty. Think I wouldn’t notice, huh?”

He went on and on, pausing to languidly roll his thick tongue over your pulsing clit. Sukuna sucked it into his mouth, nose buried between the crevice of your ass. You couldn’t respond, rendered to stupidity as ragged breaths left your lungs. The only time the man under you pulled away was to spit directly onto your pussy before diving back in. 

“P-pull away, gah, pull away, Ryo. M’gonna-,” you whined before being rudely cut off. Sukuna chokes on a curse at the nickname you have for him, and he wraps his arms around your waist. You’re sitting on his face, spasming with a cry as he begins shaking his head to the best of his ability. He’s a certified munch for a reason, devouring you from the back as you release all over his face with a strangled cry. 

You wiped the water from your face and slumped against the tiles. A kiss was planted against your ass, and then another. 

“Fucking hell. Should have done this sooner. Much sooner,” he muttered as he eventually rose to his feet. Sukuna’s knees ached, but it was worth it. “Pussy tastes sweeter than anything I’ve ever had.”

You managed to focus your eyes on him, face undeniably flushed as you pushed yourself away from the tiles. It did something to you to see Sukuna so pussydrunk and hard in his boxers. Somewhere along the way, he had tossed his shorts aside, which was perfect. His erection was straining against the fabric, and you took that as an invitation to sling an arm over his bulky shoulder. Your other hand slid down his torso, dipping in every curve of muscle it could find. You left his pecs alone, deciding to squeeze them another day. 

“Oh, oh. You want this as much as I do?” he teased before stopping himself from speaking anymore once he saw the look in your hazy eyes. You didn’t want sex. Not today, at least. So you settled on timidly freeing his length from his underwear and brushing your thumb over the flushed tip. The larger man almost moaned aloud when you rested your forehead against his chest and looked down, a soft noise of awe escaping your mouth at how deliciously thick his cock was. All thoughts of covering the stretchmarks on your hips, the thickness of your thighs, all of it… they were long forgotten at that moment. You started stroking his length almost lovingly, and you heard the slight crack in his usually confident voice.

“Hahhh, s-shit. Got a reaaal sweet pair of hands on you, don’t you, pretty girl?” he simpered, raising your head with a hand and affectionately resting his warm forehead against yours. The way Sukuna praised you had you doubling your efforts, wrist twisting as you pumped him earnestly. 

The water kept running, but Sukuna could worry about the bill another day. A chorus of guttural growls left him, strokes growing increasingly slick with his precum. The periodic twitches spurred you on, your eyes lighting up the closer he came to orgasm. Your gaze broke away when Sukuna’s lips pressed against your temple in a feverish manner, aaall the way down until he could claim your lips once more. The slight musky taste of your own slick graced your mouth. You should’ve pulled away, but you enjoyed the way his saliva mixed with yours.

“W-woah, there. Steady, fuck. I’m about to cum-”

One last flick of the wrist and a sweet peck on the cheek was all Sukuna needed to cum all over your fingers with a final grunt of your name. His release was warm, ropes of it shooting up to his abs. The urge to pop your fingers into your mouth grew, but the water washed it away. Neither of you spoke for a minute, trying to gather your wits about the change in dynamic between you. The steam continued to swirl around you both, providing a more intimate cocoon for you to relax in.

“Let me wash you up, yeah? Can’t be going home half-cleaned,” Sukuna murmured after pulling back from your face, trying as gently as he could to wipe the sodden strands of hair off of your face. He’s made a mess of you, but you were a gorgeous mess. One he’d happily devour a million times over. 

“Ah, well. That’s your fault, no? I suppose you should be the one taking responsibility,” you laughed weakly, mild exhaustion setting in. The orgasm combined with the heat of the shower was getting unbearable, and you wanted to leave. Sukuna picked up on this, making quick work of cleaning you both up. 

“Is that so, hm? Let me take you out then. Properly,” he said, followed by a nip at your ear. Large hands rubbed at your skin, thumbing at the curve of your waist. A swat of your hand landed on his chest, but Sukuna didn’t pull away. Oh, he was deathly serious. 

“...Yes, please.”

divider creds - @cursed-carmine

[crowsofdarkness]

While in The Void, Bucky was able to handle most of the fear rooms. That was until he stepped foot into an all-familiar prison, those soulless eyes meeting his. A pair of eyes he loved so long ago.

thunderbolts!bucky barnes x femalehydra!reader

18+ cw's below the cut: language, violence, dark thoughts, blood, and mentions of murder.

*spoliers underneath the cut so if you haven't watched thunderbolts, what you read may spoil parts of the movie.

“No, this isn’t real. This can’t be real,” Bucky shook his head, tears springing to his eyes at the sight in front of him. 

He kept repeating the words over and over again like a mantra, trying to eventually believe it. He faced many fear rooms within the last twenty seconds, all showing his biggest fears. 

When he found Steve nearly beaten to death on the school playground. 

When they were in The Howling Commandos together and Bucky nearly missed his sniper target, they almost sliced Steve’s throat. 

When Hydra captured and tortured him for years. 

When Steve left him for Peggy after spending years protecting him. 

Bucky thought that was the last of the fear rooms so he was ready to find Bob and Yelena to save them from The Void but when he walked through a white door,his feet came to a screeching halt when the familiar chill of a prison clung to his bones. 

The metal slab Hydra called a bed, the concrete walls covered in mold and other unknown fluids, the three bars that covered the only small window in the cell allowing a sliver of sunlight to break through. None of that had Bucky’s attention, it was the woman sitting in the middle of the slab, staring at the corner of the cell. 

Her familiar long hair rested against the back of her dirty white shirt and matching pants, her skin a sickly pale color. The metal gloves over her hands that Hydra always forced her to wear when she wasn’t using her powers to kill. 

Bucky closed his eyes on a shaky breath, repeating his mantra over and over again. 

“This isn’t real. She isn’t real.”

“I was real to you all those years ago, Soldat,” her angelic voice broke through Bucky’s mind and he nearly fell to his knees.

It had been so long since he last heard her voice, it kept him up the first few months after he left Hydra. 

Without her. 

Bucky made her a promise before Hydra dragged him from the base in Russia to Washington D.C that he would come back to her. But after everything that happened with Captain America and the falling of SHIELD, Bucky immediately went into hiding as The Winter Soldier so he never went back to Russia. As much as he missed her, as much as he loved her, he couldn’t go back for her. He couldn’t risk Hydra finding him to drag him back to that prison. 

He was a selfish dick, that he knew. But when Hydra fell for the final time, he thought about going back for her but that base in Russia was no more and he didn’t know where she was or if she was even alive anymore. So, instead of looking for her, Bucky decided to focus on getting himself better but promised after the year ended, he would start. 

Then one year turned to two then to three and then, he just forgot. 

“How could you forget me, my love?” 

Her voice brought him back from his thoughts and Bucky’s eyes stared straight at the back of her head. He had yet to see her face since he stepped into this fear room but he didn’t have to know that she was still beautiful. 

She was the love of his life in a time so dark and haunting. Both of them were used as weapons for a war that didn’t concern them. 

“Solnyshka,” he said with more force in his voice than he felt. “I never forgot.” 

Solnyshka, his sunshine in the darkness. 

An evil chuckle echoed in the space around them and it filled Bucky’s viens with fear as he watched her rock back and forth on the metal slab, the sounds of the chains to her handcuffs dragging on the floor. 

“You went off to live your happy fucking life while I sat here, rotting in this god forsaken cage. Used and abused for years! I thought you loved me!” 

Bucky took a step towards her. “I did-.” 

Just then she spun around, finally facing Bucky, which made him let out a gasp before retreating two steps back. Gone were the bright eyes he found himself swimming in, the smile that graced her face even in this hell was long gone, replaced with a fervent frown. In place of her eyes were black orbs, showing not an ounce of light or warmth, just soulless darkness. Blood pooled from them down her face and some on her mouth but she made no move to wipe it away. She couldn’t, not handcuffed anyway. 

“If you loved me, you would have come back for me!” She shrieked, writhing against the metal slab. “You would have come back!” 

“I tried.”

“LIAR!” Her screams now caused Bucky to hold his hands against his ears, ducking away from the sonic blast of her powers. 

“I can still save you,” he said after a beat of silence, and he noticed she was sitting still as a board on the table. Tentatively, he took a step towards her. “I love you, solnyshka. I’ll come find you.” 

Bucky made a promise not only to himself but to her that once he found his way out of The Void that he would do whatever it took to find his solnyshka and bring her home to him. 

Once more, that dark chuckle filled the air before those bloody and soulless eyes cut through him. 

“It’s too late for that, my love. I'm not made to be found,” her words pierced Bucky’s heart before everything faded to black. 

[greenwitchfromthewoods]

New Year's Night. l Joel Miller

Summary: not everything could be perfect

Warnings: fluff, some worries and concerns, they still don't tell others about the pregnancy, Joel is protective

A/N: what would life be without a little drama or angst?

your feedback is very important to me and I thank you for all the reblogs, comments and likes. 🖤 sorry for all the mistakes

short stories from life. [masterlist]

As you entered the building, you quickly took off your gloves and hat; it was much warmer inside. You listened for a moment, then went deeper, searching for the source of the noise. Even though it was incredibly cold outside, the renovations were still going on. Another house had to be made habitable as soon as possible, and Jackson was steadily growing. Even without patrols, Joel had his hands full, but he was doing what he was really good at, so it gave him satisfaction. Although he never hid it - a well-stocked DIY store in the area would be nice too.

You peeked into one of the rooms and saw his broad shoulders as he crouched in the kitchen under the sink, struggling with some pipe.

“Fuck…” he hissed under his breath, “Fuck the valve, I should have fucked this whole thing up and…”

“Am I bothering you?”

Joel turned around abruptly at the sound of your voice, and after a moment of surprise, a smile spread across his face. “You came to the rescue?” he asked.

“With coffee, if that helps,” you replied, showing him the thermos of the hot beverage.

He stood up and reached for a cloth to wipe his hands. “It’s bloody cold, you should be home,” he said.

You opened your jacket, showing him the thick woolen sweater you wore underneath. “I’m wrapped up warm, and the cold isn’t scary to us.”

Us. Joel smiled, looking at the place where your child grew up safe and sound. The days passed, and everything became more and more real.

He took the thermos from you and poured himself some steaming coffee. The warm drink warmed his insides pleasantly.

"So, have you thought about it yet?" you asked, walking around the kitchen and looking into the empty cabinets. "Are you going to the party tonight?"

“I could have guessed you didn’t come here without a reason,” Joel mumbled, taking another sip to hide the smile that appeared on his lips.

The New Year’s party was a long-awaited event in town. You’d mentioned it a few days earlier and made it clear that you wanted to go. But Joel loved to tease you. “We have a lot of work to do,” he said as he left the house, and you rolled your eyes.

“I could always go with Jesse,” you threw it out casually.

“And isn’t he dating Dina?”

“They broke up a few days ago.” You leaned against the locker and looked at Joel. You knew his game perfectly and you loved playing it anyway. He shook his head in disbelief.

“Okay, we can go.” He immediately noticed how wide your eyes were in delight. “But I’m only doing this because I feel sorry for Jesse.”

“Asshole.” You hissed.

Joel spread his arms in a gesture of helplessness at your words, but the corners of his mouth turned up. Suddenly, the front door slammed shut and the quick steps of heavy boots headed your way. A moment later, a teenage boy with a shock of red hair appeared in the doorway. He must not have been expecting you, because he nodded quickly.

“Hi, Billy.” You greeted him.

“Good morning, Mrs. Miller.” He replied in a slightly frightened voice, you blinked in surprise, but he was already turning to Joel. “Mr. Miller, we have a problem with the sewage outside. Mr. Johnson wants you to come.”

“Sure, I’m coming. Bloody sewage.”

Billy was clearly pleased, he nodded in your direction and practically ran out of the house, slamming the door behind him.

"Mrs. Miller?" you repeated, surprised.

Joel waved his hand and closed the thermos. "He's young, and his mother raised him really well."

"Yeah, I can see that." you replied, pulling your gloves out of your jacket pocket. "Maybe I should go to that party with him?"

Joel looked at you, then burst out laughing. "Zip yourself up properly before you go outside."

The room was full of people, and the music mixed with the hum of conversation. Everyone was in a good mood. Good food, beer, and pleasant company. That was a great way to spend the last evening of the year.

“I don’t think we’ll be here long. Elijah’s been restless since morning. I think his teeth are coming out.” Ann corrected her son, who was squirming in her arms.

“Really?” you let the boy squeeze your finger. “I’m glad you came at all. Joel must have taken a lot of persuading.”

“You know damn well he does it to annoy you. It’s just his nature.” She laughed. “I’m surprised you’re even here. Didn’t he want to wrap you in a blanket and hide you safely in the house?”

“He tried! But I ran away.”

You both laughed. Ann had kept her word and hadn’t told anyone except Shane about your different condition, because it was obvious. Shane didn’t seem particularly surprised, but he was glad you hadn’t insisted on more patrols. “Joel would have buried me in the foundation of the house if I had agreed,” he said.

Your condition wasn't visible to others yet, and the thick layers of clothing certainly helped. The second trimester was slowly approaching, and you welcomed each day with relief.

Something small unexpectedly bumped into you. A group of children were running around the room to the sound of music and carelessly bumping into people.

"Hey! Watch out, kids!"

Joel's voice caught the attention of the children and they all froze for a moment before politely walking over to their friends.

"They're just kids," you scolded him, barely holding back your laughter.

"I know. Are you okay?"

You nodded. If Joel had always kept an eye on you, of course for your safety, now he doubled his attention. It was understandable and although you sometimes pointed out to him that he was overreacting and that if he was in such a state now, what would happen when you were already in the sixth or eighth month, but you were always grateful for his support.

It wasn't like you didn't worry anymore. Your jokes were only meant to mask the fact that every day you were grateful that your condition wasn't changing, that nothing bad had happened to you. And Joel knew it well.

“If the world was normal, I probably wouldn’t be so scared for you. Now I have more and more grey hairs every day,” he said one morning.

“This is our new normal. And I think we’re doing really well here,” you replied, stroking his cheek. “I know you want us to be safe. And we are.”

The music changed and soon you felt Joel place his hand on your back. “Will you dance with me?”

You couldn’t refuse and soon Joel was pulling you onto the dance floor, where a few people were already there. A strong arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you closer to his solid body. He was a really good dancer, you had to admit that.

“So, what are your plans for next year?” you asked.

Joel cleared his throat and smiled. “You. And the little one. And Ellie, I promised to teach her how to play guitar, but we’re still bad at it.”

“I like those plans.” You replied, brushing your lips against his jaw. “Those are good plans.”

You danced in silence for a moment, but it didn't escape your notice that Joel was clearly worried about something. Even though he was smiling and being there with you, his thoughts were elsewhere.

"What's going on?" you asked as the music stopped.

He bowed his head, but then spoke again. "The last patrol found traces of a camp. Quite a large one."

"Are they refugees?"

Joel shook his head. He looked around the room and slowly led you to a place with fewer people. He took a deep breath. “Jesse and Shane noticed a large group of people. They’re riders or something. They’re hanging around.”

You frowned and crossed your arms over your chest. Suddenly, the charm of the party was gone. “Do you think we’re being threatened?”

He looked at you, thinking for a moment. “I don’t know…” He finally said, “I wish I could say no, but I can’t. We’re increasing patrols, we need to be more careful.”

“Okay. If there’s anything I can do to help…”

Joel tilted his head and looked at you with a mixture of fondness and concern. “Stay out of this, honey.” He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and smiled. “We could use your help, but you’ve got the most important cargo inside you right now. Okay?”

You nodded, allowing him to wrap his arm around you and kiss your temple.

☆☆☆☆

Thank you for your time.

taglist, i think: @picketniffler @orcasoul @bbyanarchist @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @somedayheaven @underneath-the-sky-again @callmebyyournick-name @hiroikegawa @mandaloriankait @mmmunson

[bxllydxnnabxtch]

A Little While

Simon (Ghost) Riley x Reader

❀​🇲​​🇦​​🇸​​🇹​​🇪​​🇷​​🇱​​🇮​​🇸​​🇹​❀

Summary: After a mission gone terribly wrong, internalizing your mistakes is the only way you seem to cope. Ghost finally decides to intervene when it becomes too serious to ignore.

Read pt. 2 - HERE

Warnings: Swearing, arguing, crying, yelling, mentions of blood, traumatic situations, PTSD.

Ghost stared at you from across the table, watching you push the food around your plate like you’d rather throw yourself out of a Helo than actually put any of it in your mouth. You didn’t look up at him, knowing that the only thing you’d be met with was a disappointed stare and you didn’t think you could take any more guilt than you already had. You could hardly sleep, every time you closed your eyes you were sent back to that terrifying moment, visions of your teammates blood splattered across the ground and the never-ending reminder that you failed.

You were almost certain you were going to lose your job because of it, honorably discharged, sent back home to live out the rest of your days as another trauma-riddled veteran. But none of that ever happened, and you couldn’t tell if it was worse that it didn’t.

“It wasn-“ Ghost began.

“Simon- just don’t” The words came out in a sigh that was so exhaustion riddled that Simon didn’t know how to react, silently observing how your hand came up to hold your head, eyes slipping closed. A rage began to burn inside of him at how much you blamed yourself for the incident, eyes narrowing as you blew out another puff of air.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” You lifted your head from your hand, burning daggers into him. Your jaw clenched; hands balled up by your sides. “I don’t want to talk about it.” You said, frustration straining your voice as you swallowed thickly.

Ghost tilted his head at your attitude, an eerily calm tone making its way into his gruff voice. “The longer you keep beating yourself up about it the more we’re going to talk about it. Soap doesn’t blame you, and neither do I.”

Simon would be lying if he said this conversation didn’t hurt him too. The first thing he saw when he walked in was blood and his heart stopped thinking it was yours. It soon shattered when he saw you leaning over Soap’s barely conscious and badly beaten body, desperately screaming at him to stay awake as you called for an evac in a frenzy. Seeing you deteriorate day after day due to the incident practically broke him, praying to a God he didn’t believe in that you could forgive yourself.

But yet you haven’t, and you were only getting worse.

You stood up abruptly, leaving your plate as you began walking away, but a grip on your shoulder stopped you.

“Don’t fucking touch me Simon.” You yelled, stumbling back as you shoved his hand off of you. He froze when your voice raised, you never yelled at him, and it shattered his soul that this stupid fucking thing you blamed yourself for was the thing to make you break.

“You can’t keep blaming yourself for this.” He said, his voice raising the slightest bit. You scoffed, pushing the hair out of your face. “But I am the one to blame. He should’ve never gotten hurt. I should have been at my stupid fucking post.” You screamed, spiraling, breathing becoming uneven as you felt your face heat up. Fuck don’t cry.

“You were fighting for your life!” He boomed, the empty mess hall going eerily quiet as you stood stunned at his outburst. He didn’t intend to yell at you, but the desire to get through to you, to get you to sleep, eat, fucking live burned more than his concern about you being startled. The tears finally slipped down your cheeks, but you furiously pawed at your face, wiping them away in a panic.

“It was MacTavish that chose to go into that bloody room without any backup. He knew the risks, and he went.” Ghost spoke, his heart shattering all over again at the sight of you crying. He walked up to you, gently pulling your hands away from your face as you stared at him with glassy, tear bordered eyes. His hands came up to cup your cheeks, holding your face with such adoration and care that you could’ve cried harder. He swiped his thumbs across your cheeks gently wiping away the tears that were cascading down your face as he let out a sigh of concern.

“He’s going to be okay.” He said, his tone soft and soothing. “I need you to be too.”

More tears ran down your cheeks at his words, but all he did was wipe them away, shushing you gently.

“Let’s get you to bed, yeah?” You nodded up at him, grabbing onto his hand as he pulled them away, taking it into yours.

With him, maybe you would be okay. At least for a little while.

[celuere]

The people yearn for Zani. I‘m giving them Zani. (With the help of @shalomniscient brainfood)

A quiet afternoon. Uncommon for Rinascita‘s lively streets. Perhaps it was just the scolding summer sun that forced the people to stay inside rather than spend their time in the almost deadly heat. Summers in Ragunna City always came to an extreme with temperatures so ridiculously high that even criminal rates start to drop. Which ultimately led to a rather scarce customer experience in your workshop. The telephone rang all noon with people canceling their appointments left and right to avoid a potential sunburn or worse- a heatstroke at all costs. If it weren‘t for one person.

„What are you always doing with my precious babies…“, another screw dropped onto the table along with a piece of your heart as you carefully analyzed the gauntlets of your client. Zani‘s gauntlets to be more precise. The trusted Montelli Employee comes in at least once a month only for you to put everything back together so she can pay you another visit on the very same weekend. Sometimes you‘d just love to do whatever she’s doing to your precious craftsmanship right back to her.

Said woman was sat opposite of you, her coat draped over the chair she was sitting on with a loosened tie around her neck and the first few buttons of her dress shirt undone to counter this excruciating heat despite the ventilator-echo already blasting on the highest level. „This time they malfunctioned all on their own… I was…“, beating a group of robbers within an inch of their lives, „…going through my usual training routine when the clockwork came loose. I‘m sorry…“, the apology that followed was genuine. Zani knew just how much work and time you were investing in your job and that coming in unannounced almost every time fucked up your schedule for the whole day, but it couldn’t be helped. Working for the Montelli‘s came with a ridiculous amount of overtime, let‘s not even mention the… charity work she submits herself to even after clocking out way past midnight. So she appreciated your service way more than she may shows. Here she can at least relax and not think about how much hours she will have to add to her work shift tonight. The thought alone about the hints they‘ve recently received from their intelligence network about a possible heist was enough to send her into a bad mood. But not here. Not when she got to watch your experienced hands tinker with the gears of her gauntlet while she could hear the ocean waves rush through the opened window next to her. It brought her a rare moment of calm and sometimes she caught herself imagining what it would be like to pay with you with something else other than shell credits.

But that was probably just the heat messing with her.

„Alright, the damage doesn’t seem so bad as I originally thought it was but I’ll have to get some additional equipment to get the clockwork fixed before I can calibrate the system again. I‘ll be right back.“, you tried overplaying your visible frustration with her through a smile but it was as clear as daylight that you were fed up, which only further added to Zani‘s pool of guilty feelings. The woman only gave you an understanding nod before you scurried into the back where the first thing you let out after the heavy door closed was a long string of curses and insults as you gathered all the needed stuff for the repairs.

Just what was she doing that she punched her gears to garbage at least once every week because it certainly wasn’t training. You were not stupid. You designed and installed a large variety of weapons for all kinds of working purposes and you knew from experience she must be doing a bit more than just „go through her workout routine“ and the fact that she won’t tell you was slowly causing you to loose hairs. The gauntlets are obviously not calibrated nor stabilized enough for whatever hard work she is sentencing herself to but this time you will take matters into your own hands and fix the issue yourself.

A white-haired head moved towards you when you came back through the door. You always thought what it was like to touch those devilish horns decorating her. Where they sensitive? Does she like it when someone touches them? What’s their origin? But you knew better than trying to indulge in a clients personal life like that. It‘s just that Zani managed to capture your interest already at the first meeting. The time where you first designed her gauntlets. She didn’t change much since then. Only seemed to get… more mature and wiser with each passing year. The woman has always been the workaholic type.

Stand up. Go to work. Get out of work. Go to sleep. Repeat. And occasionally serve you her weapons for repairs. You were as much of a part of her routine as the make-up on her face. And somehow Zani didn’t want to miss that.

„The clockwork will probably take me another three days since I have to replace some parts which I first of all have to order first but I can just take that part out, calibrate the gauntlets and you’re good to go until I’m done with that damn clock…“, your voice was reduced to a soft whisper as you carefully began to loosen up the last screws that’s been holding it in place.

„You are an angel… What would I possibly do without you?“, a teasing smile tugged on her lips as she let you do your job. For someone of her appearance to call you angel out of all things… Why is your heart suddenly beating so fast?

„Stop trying to get on my good side here, I’m still mad at you…“,

„I can see that blush on your face, pretty girl“

„That‘s just from… all the heat…“

[magickizu]

Shop Repairs

Crossover dp x dc. So I've got this time line in mind, for my crossover AU and this is a snippet of it. Master Post: Lost Retirement

Jason has to find a solution, quickly: during the last mission his bike received more damage, than he had planned. Bringing it back to the cave will take too long, not to mention the repair time, that he can't make time for! And here's another thing: for like the past week or so, the pits have been acting extremely weird. Bubbling and flaring up randomly, like this pissed off but not revenging rage, if that makes sense?? What is going on???

Jason absolutely hated his luck: not only did these bastards get away, not only was it a pain in the ass anyway to hunt them down, not only did they take their goods with them as they fled after, not only kicking Hood's ass- ohohoho no! Of course his sweet baby had to be pulled into it! They used his bike as shield!! HIS FUCKING BIKE-!!!

The silvered raven groans annoyed, the pits are flaring up again too! He can't even get to the bat cave and fix her up, because he needs her by tomorrow and he does not have the right parts. Let alone the time, since he's got this meeting with this building company to talk over the plans for the Alley's new community gardens he wants to build. So naturally he's on his way to bring her to the only guy he trusts with her, when suddenly the pits flare up again!- right, rightrightright... Of course that wasn't enough, since the pit seemed to have even more problems in the past week, with him feeling like he got run over by trucks. The constant whispering and screeching and hissing about an intruder in his territory, inside his head- ...at this point it's just tiring.

Red Hood was deep in thought, in fact he was so deep in thought, that his feet have carried him all the way to the little mechanics shop and maybe, just maybe, he could be a little lucky today? Please? And they have everything and the damage wasn't as bad as it seemed? The pit is rumbling and gurgling disgustingly and he can see the green tinge slowly creeping into the corners of his eyes. Panic floods him, there's not a single one of the birds or bats around to help him now-

Hood tried his best, to take deep breaths. Steady his thoughts and fight back, imagining Dick would be there helping him concentrate. The mental image of his family just being there for him, helped a little, lately their bond has gotten better and Jason can definitely tell- snap out of it! He can't have a panic attack in the middle of the road! Not as the Red Hood at least... With one last, deep breath Hood's feet begin to move again, as he rounded the corner and pulled into the open garage door or the workshop.

"Ah-hah! The Red Hood," the old man behind the little counter laughs and stands up, Hood's shoulders relax at the sight and sound of him. "Tell me, tell me niño, what can I do for you? Have not seen you in a while, eh?" Mateo, the owner, shakes the vigilante's hand with a big smile and a small hug.

"Hey Tío," he greets back, hugging back briefly and gently. "My bike got... Involved in the action... Please tell me you can fix her by tomorrow, Tío." If it wasn't for the modulator in his mask, Hood would have sounded tired, which Mateo must have known, as he started to laugh out loud before answering.

"Alright, alright. I'll take a look, eh? But no promises." Mateo leaned down slowly with a huff and a grunt, until the man kneeled in front of the motorcycle. He called out for someone, after trying his best to look at the machine. Hood couldn't hear what Mateo said, he was too distracted with suddenly being confronted by Mateo's high age. Neither Jason, nor Red Hood have been here in a while and he mentally scolded himself for it. Jason helped out here and there, ever since he came back, ever since before Bruce... Mateo has always been there- been right here. Hood just wasn't ready yet; Jason wasn't ready. He hadn't realised how old the man was really getting, until now. Now that he sees him squinting at the details, sees him having trouble with finer motor skills of the machinery and now even so much as getting back up again after kneeling down. Hood forced himself back to reality, when Mateo tried to get back up but only grunted, he was about to take a step closer, help, something when-

"¡¡Tío!!" Suddenly a young man was faster. Analysis; same blue overalls as Mateo, just that the upper part is tied around his waist, dirty white t-shirt, work gloves, steel toed work shoes and one black sleeve, seemingly some kind of compression cuffs, on his right arm covering it completely- must be working here, well enough acquaintaned with Mateo, was in the back probably does the work now. Pale skin, dark raven hair with a few snow white streaks- good style! Hehe... And bright blue eyes, that are full of worry and- "Tío, how often did I tell you, just say something! ¿¡Eres estúpido!?" The young man scolded the older, grinning and chuckling one, but Hood didn't listen he was just staring... Jason couldn't look away from these electric blue eyes, that reflected in a strange neon green, that he just knows. The pit was bubbling over, growling and screaming at him and panic rose up like a lump in his throat, nearly clogging it and slowly suffocating him, as his vision is tinging green, bit by bit. This is not happening now, not now!! Shit!! What is he supposed to do!?

Suddenly the same voice breaks through to him; "...fuck, it's you..." And they both look at each other for a moment, then Hood reached for his gun immediately, the second the other man moved- He is the intruder! Shred him... "Wait! I-I'm so sorry! Ancients... I had an offering, but I forgot it at home. I swear, I do not mean any harm, to your haunt nor people nor you! I never meant to be disrespectful." The man held his hands up in surrender and the green subsided slightly from Jason's vision- how?? "-look; if it's good for you, I'll have her ready by tomorrow, as you asked, free of charge. Can that be my offering? Would that be acceptable for you?" And the pits calmed down... Hood stood there, frozen in place, overwhelmed and absolutely shocked, yet strangely relieved. The man also didn't sound hysterical, just calm enough to make it believable that... He wasn't scared... Against every bit of sanity left in his brain, the Hood nodded, his hand no longer hovering over his gun's holster. He straightened up.

"Explain." He growled, shocked by himself how much venom there was in his voice and how deep the rumbling of the growl was... As if it's coming from his chest. But moreover: what does this guy have to do with the pits!? And why the F U C K can he calm it down by T A L K I N G!?

"Okay, listen..." The man sighs, then contemplates something, looking Hood up and down, asassing him. "Alright, uhm... Name's Danny, my siblings and I just got here. We won't make any trouble and just need a place to stay, for now. The only reason I'm entering your haunt is because I work here and it's the only place that would hire me. Again my offering of doing a full round up on your bike still stands. If you don't wanna accept, that's your choice and I'll find something else, somewhere else. Okay?" Hood did listen; the man's alone, apparently desperate for money or else other places would do, he takes care of his siblings and cares for people seeing his instant worry about the old man, peaceful indeed with immediate surrender... And even a useful offering. ...what?

"Fine." Hood sighed, the other man, Danny, also sighed probably from relief. Wait... Where the hell did Mateo go?? Upon realisation, the larger one looked around,

"...Mateo's in the back office. I just... I just sent him back. Uhm..." He fidgeted a little, then stuck his hand out awkwardly. "How about this: Hi, I'm Danny. I take care of the work here now... And you're the Red Hood, that's kinda cool- I mean you are cool, like,... Sorry, I'm new to Gotham." Then Danny smiled awkwardly at him, as if he didn't just threaten to get shot. Hood stared but slowly reached out to grab the hand and Danny's smile widened, revealing the smallest hint of fangs. Hoods guard should be up but for some reason... This somewhat aggressive friendliness was welcome, somehow. "Right! The Ducati!" Danny reminded himself and moved his attention and body to the machine straight away.

"...and you'll be able to get her ready by tomorrow?" Hood asked after a moment of watching him looking through his bike. Danny perked up, seemingly ripped from his focus;

"Huh? Oh, uh... Yes, definitely! Seems like nothing too vital got hit. The tank is still good, the engine and the battery are also unharmed; a blessing in disguise, it's just...maybe a handful of tubes and a couple cables. I'll get you a round check, change the oil and clean up the painting. Be back at..." Danny thought about it. "Would five sound good?" He offered and that was admittedly fast, yes. Hood hummed in agreement.

"Make it six, deal." The vigilante held his hand out to the mechanic, who shook his hand for the deal and then made a little surprise yelp, as he got hoisted back up. Surprisingly light, but lean built. No directly visible muscles, but Danny still holds up strong. With one last look at his baby, then a warning glare at Danny, who ironically seemed to understand as he lifted his hands in surrender again and a small smile.

"I promise, I'll take good care of her. Will make her purr like a kitten." Because if not... What is he talking about? That guy has his family waiting at home and can't even change locations properly. As Hood walked out and began to his closest save house, it suddenly clicked in his mind, when he realises one fundamental thing, as he listened to the streets in Crime Alley and nothing else... That's exactly it, for once Hood didn't hear anything from the pit... As if it's completely gone. The static sensation in his mind, only picked up again slowly, the further away he got.

So this Danny guy has something to do with the pits and Jason will find out how...

"Ta-da!" Danny grinned proudly, as he showed Red Hood his bike, looking brand knew right out the factory. His eyes grew wide under the mask,

"Holy shit..." Hood rounds the machine, softly gliding over every visible surface. Checking even some of the nooks and crannies, after all he has to make sure it's all in proper order. Danny crossed his arms, sure of himself. "... I'll admit, that's good work." Danny nods, his smile widening in appreciation for the man's work.

"Rev her." The smaller man instructed, Hood for once did what he was told without hesitation and it paid: as he ignited the engine and let her reel, the machine simply purred. Litteraly just purred. Low, menicing bass and silent efficiency...

"Holy shit!" He shut her off again, for now. "That..." Hood gestures in slight disbelief, "that's real good work. Thanks man." He holds out a hand, Danny looks down at it, less smiles and a little more perplexed but nonetheless, the shorter one grabs it. What he seemingly didn't expect was for Red Hood to haule him in shoulder bumper- ey, he may be the Red Hood, but he's still from the hood. Danny just starts smiling again. "I mean it, damn fine. I'll bring her around more often, when she needs it. How much?" He reaches for his wallet, cash only of course, but he got waved off.

"Nonsense. Is the least I can do." Danny made his way already around the counter, typing away at the computer and scribbling something in a black book.

"For what? You did the work-"

"-Woopsies! Looks like I already started closing our only register! Oh man, I'm such a dummy! Urgh! My clumsiness...!" Danny exaggerated dramatically, then leaned onto the counter with one elbow. The other hand on his hip, "forget it, the register's closed, we don't take payment anymore." That smug little bastard then had the audacity to start grinning and daringly lift an eyebrow. ...and honestly, the vigilanty couldn't help but smile at this. Danny can be a little shit, apparently, just as he himself which by all means is entertaining. Hell, even the pits began flairing up in an unusually positive way, almost like a low but friendly rumble in his rest.

"Okay, fine... But I can't let this stand unattended." Danny, yet again, waved him off. But there, just for a brief moment, the way his eyes sparked like an idea, he rushed to scribble something out. Then Danny came over.

"Alright... when you're done with your mission, shoot me a message. There's something I'd actually like to talk about..." The mechanic said, shifting a little nervously, but never loosing the hint of a smile on his lips. The pits gurgle a little shrill, almost like dieing chirping... Oh!- uninted, but good one, heh. But now Hood was definitely intrigued, for the lack of better words.

"...Sure." He agreed, with that he swung himself onto his sweet baby and nodded the other bey, who mirrored the action as response and took a few steps back, to give Hood enough space to start up. As he did right in that moment, then he was gone again, into the night.

Even the pits have massively quieted down again, after deeming the young mechanic non-threatening. Yeah, he still needs to figure out, what that guy has to do with the lazarus pits, but right now he's got one real big fish to catch, fillet and fry for what he did and did to his machine.

@georgiefreddie0829 @shirasorin

[rongloa]

please make the most gut wrenching fanfic ever. i want mark to be like a crappy bf or like a messy breakup PLEASEEEE i need to cry or something

𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐭 — m.grayson drabble

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠(𝐬). mark grayson x gn!reader

𝐰𝐜. 1.6k

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭. break up, swearing, mark being a fucking dick (slightly ooc), mentions of depression, mark hurts you, heavy arguments, use of the word ‘hate’ (you can see where this is going)

𝐚/𝐧. frick you anon (ily don’t stop), why’d you send this ask in? :(

You remember the first time he looked at you like you were something soft. Like the world hadn’t chewed him up yet. Like he hadn’t already seen its insides, bleeding and brutal. His eyes were wide and brown and impossibly open, like a door you didn’t realize you were walking through until it closed behind you.

It was late—he was late, always—but you had waited anyway, curled up on the concrete steps outside his house in your oversized hoodie and mittens, tapping your foot to some song in your head to distract from the cold. He said he was at a group project meeting. It sounded fake, but you trusted him. You always trusted him.

He jogged up, breath fogging in the air, cheeks flushed from the night wind. He looked surprised to see you. “You waited for me?” he asked, like he hadn’t been the one to promise, “Just an hour, tops.”

And you laughed—so stupidly, stupidly in love. “Obviously,” you said, as if the answer could’ve been anything else.

As if your body didn’t already know what it meant to belong to him.

Before he became a ghost in your inbox, before the silence grew claws and wrapped around your throat, Mark had been good to you. Not perfect—never perfect—but good in the way that mattered, in the way you could build a life around.

He held your hand even when no one was looking. Tucked your hair behind your ear like it was instinct. You remember the way he’d fumble over his words when he was excited, how his cheeks flushed when he saw you across a room like he still couldn’t believe you were his. How he used to walk you home, even if it meant doubling back two neighborhoods. Just to make sure you got there safe. Just to have those last few minutes of quiet with you.

There were Sunday mornings when the world felt small enough to hold in your palm—his voice soft from sleep, your legs tangled beneath thin blankets, the smell of coffee you never drank but he always made, just in case you changed your mind. He’d sit on the couch in his old t-shirt, hair messy, face buried in some comic book you couldn’t name, and you’d watch him like you were afraid to blink.

He made you mixtapes, real ones—burned CDs with tracklists scrawled in sharpie and titles like “For the Coolest Person I Know (Don’t Roll Your Eyes).” Songs he thought you’d like. Songs that reminded him of you. Sometimes he’d get the lyrics wrong, but he’d sing them anyway, horribly off-key, like it didn’t matter if he sounded dumb as long as it made you laugh.

And he listened. Really listened. Back then, you could tell him about the weird dream you had or how your coworker was annoying you and he’d actually care. You’d talk for hours, about nothing and everything, until the sun dipped low and your voices were hoarse from too many words. He remembered little things. Your favorite brand of cereal. The way you hated the sound of styrofoam. How you always got cold after you cried, even if it wasn’t winter.

He used to kiss you like he thought it might save him. Like if he just held you close enough, long enough, he could outrun whatever waited on the other side of the sky.

But then the world crept in. Bit by bit, like water under a locked door. You didn’t notice it at first.

You excused the first time he forgot your birthday—he was fighting a villain halfway across the country. You got it. Really, you did. You said it was fine and meant it, even if you cried in the bathroom at work.

Then came the days he didn’t check in after disappearing mid-dinner. The lies got easier for him to tell. Easier for you to swallow. He wasn’t just a person anymore. He was someone. Someone the world needed more than you did. Or so you started to believe.

You told yourself you were lucky. Blessed, even. To love someone who mattered. To matter to someone who could move mountains and outrun lightning. But somewhere along the way, he stopped seeing you as part of his world, and more like a pit stop. A soft place to land when the mantle got heavy.

You used to be his secret. Then his comfort. Then his burden.

You remember the last time he touched you like he wanted to. It was almost accidental—his fingers brushing your wrist as he took the mug from your hand. There was no heat. No ache. No softness. Just contact. You looked at him, trying to find that old spark—the boy who used to look at you like you hung the damn stars—and all you saw was someone who’d already left.

It didn’t fall apart all at once. It never does. It was a thousand tiny breaks. A slow erosion of everything you thought you had. A fading. A flicker. A final, quiet extinguishing.

You used to think love was something you could hold together if you just tried hard enough.

But some people hand you broken things and blame you when they don’t work.

Of course you didn’t know he was Invincible.

No one did. He looked like a kid still trying to grow into his body. He winced when he laughed too hard and couldn’t cook for shit. There was no part of you that thought he was saving the world between algebra quizzes and late-night cartoons.

But he told you. Right before he left.

The first thing you notice is that he doesn’t look surprised to see you.

He opens the door like he was already waiting for this. For you. For the end.

Mark’s hair is unkempt. There’s a bruise healing on his jaw and a dried line of blood near his ear. He smells like the cold night air and smoke, you can smell it from the threshold of his room. You don’t ask what happened. You don’t care. Or maybe you do, but not in the same way you used to.

You step inside. Quiet. Slow.

His room is dark, save for the small desk lamp. Everything is half-unpacked, like he never really came back. Like his body is here, but the rest of him never made it down from orbit.

“I thought you were dead,” you say softly.

Mark flinches.

“You were just gone. For months, Mark. No messages. No explanation. Not even a goddamn voicemail.”

He doesn’t move. Just stands there, hands in his pockets, staring at the floor like it might split open and swallow him.

“I checked the news every day. I asked Eve, I asked your mom. Nobody knew where you went. Nobody knew if you were even coming back.”

You’re already crying and you didn’t notice until your voice cracks, until your chest hitches. You wipe your face roughly, like you’re angry for feeling this much.

“I—I couldn’t sleep,” you go on, choking it out. “I thought maybe—maybe you’d call, or come home, or—or say something. Anything. But you didn’t.”

Mark’s breathing is shallow. His fists are clenched. His voice is low when he finally says, “I didn’t know how.”

“That’s bullshit.”

He looks up.

“That’s bullshit, baby,” you say again, louder now, louder than you mean to. “You always know what to say to everyone else. To save everyone else. But when it’s me, suddenly you go silent?”

“I was trying to protect you,” he snaps, like it’s a reflex. A shield he throws up before the words can cut too deep.

You let out a sound that’s halfway between a sob and a laugh. “No. No, you don’t get to say that anymore. You don’t get to act like I’m some fragile thing you had to put on a shelf and forget about.”

Mark’s eyes are glassy now, too. Red-rimmed. Shining in the low light.

“I love you,” you say, the words breaking apart in your mouth. “I love you so fucking much, and you left me to grieve you like you died. You made me grieve you while you were still alive.”

He crosses the room in two strides, arms reaching, but you step back before he can touch you. Fingers grazing the wool of the your sweater— the one he gave you with its blue and yellow stripes.

“Don’t,” you whisper. “Please just don’t.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he says, shaking. “I thought—God, I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought—”

“You didn’t think about me.”

There it is. The truth. And it lands like a thunderclap between you.

Mark stares at you like he’s watching something beautiful collapse.

“I don’t even recognize you anymore,” you whisper. “You used to be kind. You used to show up. Now you disappear and expect me to just keep… waiting.”

“I never stopped loving you.”

You close your eyes. The tears won’t stop coming. “Then why didn’t you come back for me?”

He doesn’t have an answer.

And maybe that’s the worst part. Because you wanted to hear something. Anything. A reason big enough to make this hurt mean something. But there’s just silence.

You move towards the door, out of the his room. The one you’d spend hours in just to be with him.

Mark’s voice breaks behind you. “Please don’t go.”

Those same big brown eyes you’d fallen in love with in home economics, staring right back.

You move toward the door with tears streaking down your cheeks, fingers trembling as you reach for the handle. You can barely see straight. The lump in your throat is thick enough to choke you.

“I don’t think I can stay anymore,” Your voice cracks on the last word, “not when I’m the only one who was still trying.”

You open the door.

But before you can take a single step, you feel his hand close around your arm.

Fast. Too fast.

Mark yanks you back—not roughly, not enough to hurt, but enough to stop you in your tracks. His grip is iron. Not human. And it makes you feel even smaller than you already do.

You whip around, tears flying. “Let go of me!”

He’s breathing hard. Face flushed. Eyes frantic. “No. No, we can’t—we can’t end it like this.”

“You don’t get to decide that!”

You try to pull free, but his fingers won’t budge. It’s like being caught in a bear trap. You shove him, slap at his chest with your free hand, tears falling hot and fast.

His grip tightens to the point you follow the hand that holds you, pinned. “Let go.”

“I still love you!” he shouts, voice shaking. “Please just—just talk to me, please—”

You hit him again, fighting against him. Weak punches to his chest. You don’t care if it hurts him. You want it to. Even though you know it won’t.

“You don’t get to do this!” you cry. “You don’t get to leave me, disappear for months, break me down to pieces—and then decide you love me when it’s too late!”

Mark’s face crumples. He tries to reach for your face, but you pull back as hard as you can from the unyielding grip and push it out through pursed lips, “Don’t touch me!”

“Please do–“

“You’re HORRIBLE,” you sob, voice cracking apart as you watch your wrist twist at an angle you know it shouldn’t. “You are the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. I loved you. I trusted you. I waited and I waited and I WAITED, and you never come back!”

“I was trying to protect you—!” Crack. It burns, and it hurts in a different kind of way to what you feel in your chest. And you can’t help the wail that burns its way out of your mouth.

He drops your hand like it burned him, like he’s finally realising that maybe he’s the bad one. He hurt you, he was hurting you and he didn’t even realise it. And it fills a rage in you that burns wild. It fucking hurts, hurts so bad and you can’t express it in just one meeting of your eyes.

“No, you were protecting yourself! You were a coward, Mark! You were a COWARD, and I hate you for it!”

The words echo.

He looks like you shot him—he had the gun loaded and cocked all by himself. It’s like something inside him breaks right there. His arms fall to his sides, limp. Fat tears rolling down his cheeks as he looks as what he’s done for fucking once.

And finally, finally, you’re free.

You back away, shaking. Hand dangling at your side with fingers twisted unnaturally.

“I don’t want an apology,” you whisper. “I don’t want your love. I don’t even want you to look at me ever-fucking again.”

You pull open the door and this time—this time he doesn’t stop you.

You walk away. Sobbing. Trembling. Sick with the kind of grief that only comes when someone you love turns out to be the reason you’ll never be the same again.

Behind you, you can hear his knees hit the floor.

But you don’t turn around. Don’t even look back because if you met those big brown eyes you’d fallen for in home economics, you’d run back. You’d comfort him because that’s all you ever wanted to do.

You don’t save him.

Not this time.

The hallway of the house feels louder than it should.

And Mark kneels there alone, in the dark, finally crying by himself.