#i could go on and on about how fucked this is not to mention the politics of how we got here

[shawtuzi]

✰ YOUR TEETH IN MY NECK ✰

a/n: i’ve been getting a lot of requests for more musician!eren and his fav fan girl and this is also ur reminder to go read the reverb series bc we would not be here without her

cw include: black fem!reader, sexting, exchange of nudes, mention of drug usage (eren was high per usual), sloppy kissing, oral f&m!receiving, unprotected sex, mating press & prone bone position, see from the side, multiple orgasms, eren nuts in and on her lmao, lots of dirty talk, an ‘i love you’ confession bc they’re so obsessed with each other, eren has a god complex andddd i think that’s it lmao/// wc: 5.2k

new message from renny ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹

i’m in the city. i wanna see u.

the cursor of your laptop circled around his message, a giddy smile spreading across your lips. you clicked on the message, your manicured fingers typing messages upon messages of how much you missed him, and couldn’t wait to see him.

it had been almost a month since you last saw eren. after your sexcapdes on his tour bus eren had invited you to join him on his pj to the next city, and you had no other choice but to say yes! that dick was entirely too good to pass up.

you can happily say you’ve now joined the mile high club, because the second you got on the jet eren demanded privacy so he could indulge in you once more. you were sure jean and his security team could hear your screams of pleasure, the way you begged for eren to fuck you harder, deeper, but you didn’t care in the slightest.

after turning his bones into mush from your ridiculous riding skills, eren returned the favor by fucking you in mating press until your eyes crossed, and drool was slipping past your puffy lips.

your night in his hotel went the exact same way. eren folded you into every position he could while you chanted his name like a prayer, soaking the hotel sheets with your essence. he liked you. he liked the way you had just as much stamina as him. he liked that you were just as nasty as him, like how you stuck your tongue out for him to spit on, or how you begged him to put you in a chokehold while he hit it from the back.

what he really liked about you though, was the way you looked at him. eren already a sort of god complex, and you definitely didn’t help the way you looked at him as if he created the moon and stars.

after a very tearful goodbye on your end you headed back to your city, but that didn’t stop you from texting everyday. sometimes he replied, sometimes he didn’t because of his busy schedule. he always did call you though, usually it’d be past midnight but that didn’t matter to you—especially when he’d always say bye to you by tapping his tip against the screen, muttering a sultry ‘we miss you.’

new message from renny ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹

i miss u too mama.

send your addy, i’m coming to you.

you squealed into the soft cotton of your sheets, your sock covered feet kicking wildly against your mattress. thee eren yeager was about to come to your lil ol’ apartment, like this couldn’t be real.

you carefully typed out your address, your toes wiggling in excitement. you shut your laptop and rolled out of bed, quickly shuffling your feet to your closet.

you figured he’d have you out of your clothes minutes after he got here, so you settled on ditching your pajamas, and wearing just your pink robe.

message sent to renny ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹

are u gonna do all that stuff you said in your messages?

you pupils dilated when the gray bubble popped up, your teeth clamping onto your bottom lip. eren texted you a lot of dirty promises, making you squirt on his dick in the prone bone position being the one you were most excited for.

whenever you were bored at work, or before you fell asleep at night, you’d imagine him having you in a tight chokehold while he fucked into your sore pussy from behind. that usually led to you sending eren explicit videos of your rubbing your pulsing pussy desperately, whining n’ babbling about how you wish it were him making you cum instead.

eren would only make it worse by feeding into it. while he recorded himself stroking his cock, he’d be growling out filthy praises about your cute cunt and how good she’d feel wrapped around him.

new message from renny ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹

you’ll see

[attachment: 1 imagine]

just know i’m ready, been thinking about your pretty pussy all day.

a whine bubbled in your chest as you zoomed in on live photo of his very prominent print. his tatted hand was gripping onto it, and if you clicked on it, the live photo would show him squeezing it softly. the cuban chain on his wrist glistened obnoxiously from the flash—you couldn’t wait to the feel the cold metal against your neck when he choked you.

you loosened the knot on your robe, exposing your breasts more than they already were. your nipples were peeking out, giving eren just the perfect peek to what is to come.

message sent to renny ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹

hurry up :((

[attachment: 1 image]

while you were giggling to yourself, eren was gripping his phone in frustration. he needed you, now. ever since he last saw you all he could think about was you. your face, your scent, your voice, your pretty moans. he was totally smitten.

“we’ll be arriving shortly,” the driver said in a monotone voice. eren hummed, unlocking his phone to tell you he was almost there.

he was thankful you didn’t leave in the city, the last thing he would want are fans or paparazzi invading your privacy. but it was california after all, and unfortunately there were rumors he was seen at a hotel with a mystery girl, but he made sure his team squashed those rumors from circulating any further. fame can be intense, he’d be crushed if his lifestyle scared you away.

“m’not sure how long i’ll be here so, uh, just tell jean i said don’t wait up,” eren’s tone was cool as he spoke, but inside he was actually excited to see you. he pulled his hoodie up, scoping the scene before stepping out of the car. as eren walked towards your apartment building he heard—

‘psst! up here!’

he slowly looked up and there you were, standing on your balcony, wearing nothing but a robe and a pair of slippers. your hair gently moved with the light breeze, and you had the giddiest smile on your lips—this shit felt like it was a scene out of movie.

you bounced on the balls of your feet as you waited for eren to make it to your door, and finally you heard three knocks. you couldn’t deny that you were nervous—he was a celebrity after all. someone who was known globally and loved by many, he was just a very intimidating guy.

the second you opened the door, you were yanking him in by his hoodie, your chests clashing together. “damn girl, miss me?” eren grinned, wrapping his arms around your waist. you bit your lip, looking at him with nothing but swirls of love and lust in your eyes. “yeah, i did.” eren nudged his nose against yours, blindly kicking the door shut behind him and locking it.

when he heard the click! his lips were on yours, a strong scent of vanilla and jasmine hitting his nose. “w-was the flight here okay? you look tired,” your hands cupped his jaw as you examined the under his eyes. you way you looked at him and touched with such care, as if it were natural, had eren feeling things. weird things. he always told others he’d probably never fall for a fan yet here he was, leaning into your touch like a lovesick puppy.

“yeah it was fine. just been a busy week is all, but don’t worry about that. it’s good to see you. you look good. i look this robe on you.”

when he smiled you saw flashes on gold on his teeth, and that had a gush of wetness dripping from your pussy. “thanks . . . i like your grills. like a lot.” eren breathed heavily through his nose when your thumb ran over his bottom lip, getting a closer look at the grills.

you whined when his lips smushed into yours again, his tongue swiping across your bottom lip. you parted your lips, and he wasted no time slithering his tongue into your mouth, groaning when your tongue swiped across his grills. “take this shit off,” eren’s fingers fumbled with the strings on your robe, slowly pushing it off your shoulders when the knot was undone.

you puffed your naked chest out, giggling because you had left eren utterly speechless. he stepped closer to you, and then closer, and closer until you were backed up against the wall. “i’d try to keep my legs steady if i were you,” his breath was hot on your neck, sending shivers up your spine.

your hands pushed against his hard chest when his hand pushed between your thighs, his ring and middle finger dipping between your folds. “y’know i had to postpone so much shit because i just couldn’t go another day without seein’ you? doesn’t that sound insane? we barely know each other, yet i just can’t get you or this pretty pussy outta my head.”

your lips trembled, eyes fluttering shut as his fingers rolled around you swollen clit. “g-good. i did what i was supposed to do when we fucked then,” your words had eren groaning, his head dipping into your neck to kiss and suck at the sweet smelling skin. he kissed his way down your neck, and eventually your chest, taking his time as he rolled his tongue around each nipple.

he kissed the skin above your naval, smirking at the hello kitty jewelry pierced into the skin. “such a pretty girl, knew you were special the second i saw you in the crowd,” and it was true! out of all the fans that were in the audience, you caught his attention the most. the cheered the loudest, knew the words to every song, and you looked damn good sharing a blunt with your friends as you sung along to his songs.

your back slumped against the wall when you felt his hot tongue circle your clit, his hands snaking behind you to grab at your ass cheeks. every slurp and suck had your legs shaking, so much so that eren just said fuck it and threw your knees over his shoulders.

he was a sloppy eater. his tongue switched from french kissing your clit, to fucking into your clenching hole, all while moaning drunkenly against your pussy. you weren’t scared to rough him up either, your hands tangling themselves in his hair and fucking his mouth. “m’so close renny.”

that only encouraged eren to increase his assault on your clit, flicking the bud back and forth until your thighs were clamping around his head. wave after wave of your cum coated his tongue, and eren happily lapped up all of it. god, you were fucking sweet.

you gasped when eren lifted you off his shoulders, “w-wait stay close to me.” eren nearly lost his balance when you jumped into his arms, your legs wrapping around his slim waist. out of instinct eren cupped your behind, holding you closely to him. “i wasn’t goin’ nowhere mama, now where’s yours bedroom?”

you gave eren directions to your bedroom, all while you were kissing his neck and jaw. “it’s cute in here. it’s really . . . pink,” eren chuckled as he looked around your room. what caught his attention the most was the mountain of plushies on your bed, all varying from sanrio characters to anime characters.

he laid you down gently on your bed, smirking at the pout on your glossy lips. “thank you. now drop your pants m’hungry,” your pink, freshly pedicured foot pressed down on the bulge in his sweats, then pushed against his abdomen. eren lifted your foot up and kissed your ankle, “whatever you want baby.”

eren shed his hoodie and sweats, leaving him in a white wife beater and briefs. you eyed the small, wet patch stained into his briefs, your mouth watering at what was hiding underneath. you sat up, your arm hooking around his thick thigh to pull him closer. eren’s head tilted back when you mouthed at the print in his briefs, your tongue lolling out to lick at the wet patch.

your teeth clamped onto the waistband of his briefs, tugging them down until they were mid thigh. eren’s jaw dropped the tiniest bit when you nuzzled your face into his cock, your tongue peeking out to lick at the base. “c’mon. open that pretty mouth,” his tongue ran over the gold on his teeth as he watched you like a predator stalking its prey.

your mouth parted once more, sucking the tip of his cock in your mouth. you hummed around the muscle, your mouth watering at the salty, yet very sweet taste of him.

“let me fuck your mouth, pretty girl. open up,” you whimpered around eren’s dick as he pushed more into your mouth, strings of saliva dripping from your lips and onto your thighs. your tongue rubbed over the protruding veins on the underside, this earned you a pat on the head, followed by eren cradling your jaw. his thumb ran over the bulge in your cheek, “you’re so pretty.”

you took more of his cock into your mouth until your nose nudged against soft tufts of hair. suddenly you felt a hand squeeze at your throat, the action had you choking around his cock, fat tears now running down your cheeks. “ooou shit, that was tight. do it again for me, baby.” he squeezed at your throat ever so softly as he fucked it, his head tilting back out of pure pleasure. seriously, where have you been all his life.

your cheeks hollowed around his dick, sucking harshly until he had to pull you away by your hair, a thin line of spit still connected to your lips. “mmph, hang your head off the bed. you know what to do.”

indeed you did. after a night of dirty texting you found out that eren was quite fond of throat fucking—especially if a girls head was hanging off the side while he did it. there was something about hearing those violent gags and chokes that had his balls tightening every time he thought about it.

you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, even though you’ll just get messy literally all over again, and laid down on your back, your head hanging slightly off the side. eren took this opportunity to grasp at your tits, flicking your pretty brown nipples with his thumbs. the cool metal from his rings had them hardening in seconds.

“mm so pretty, now open up gorgeous,” eren tapped his tip against your lips, chuckling when you stuck your tongue out to get the exact same treatment. he rubbed the tip of his cock over the curves of your lips, before running it over your tongue. you greedily swallowed the pre that dribbled onto your tongue.

without warning, eren thrust his hips forward, sheathing more than half his cock down your tight throat. hot tears already began to brim at your lash line as he began a steady pace, the obnoxious noise of you gagging echoing throughout your room. “mmph, good lil fuckin’ throat. you’re fuckin’ perfect y/n ‪‪❤︎‬” eren’s head tilted back in a moan, his adams apple bobbing.

he preferred his head very sloppy, and you were perfect for that. you didn’t mind the spit bubbles that foamed up at the corners of your lips, or the snot that trickled from your nose. you were fine with all of it. all just to please him. his hips stuttered when your hand reached up to toy with his balls. “fu-ck yeah, play wit’ ‘em while you suck it. that’s a good fuckin’ girl.”

his praise had your heart fluttering, and your pussy drooling with need. you were perfect for him. that’s all you could’ve asked for.

your nails dug into eren’s muscly thighs when his hips pushed forward, forcing the entirety of his cock down your throat. you suddenly felt something warm in the back of your throat, and hummed. it wasn’t until you were choking pretty hard that eren pulled out, his half had cock resting on your face. your thighs clenched together when the musky scent that was him wafted into your nose.

“heh, cute. you ready for me to fuck you now mama?”

your tongue ran along his cock, savoring the taste of him, “i love your dick ren, could stay here forever.” eren’s head tilted back as you sloppily kissed all over the base of his cock. he was fully hard once again in no time, the veins on the underside thrumming against your puffy lips.

he backed up to give you some room to get up, only for you to yank him back again. you propped your chin on his hard stomach, batting your freshly done lashes up at him. “what position you want me in renny, m’all yours please tell me what to do.”

there was that look again. that fucking look. that look where you stared at him like he was reason for your very existence. “i’ll do anything you want,” you murmured, pressing little kisses all across his abdomen. you whimpered when eren used both hands to grip your jaw, forcing your gaze at him.

“i think i might love you.”

he didn’t know what kinda fucked up shit this was but he didn’t even care, he loved it. he loved . . . you ❤︎

his pretty lil fan girl. his number one fan. someone that would kiss the ground he walked on if he asked. you were perfect.

“that’s really sweet renny, but i think you’re just high and tired,” you giggled, teeth clamping onto your bottom lip. “you sayin’ you don’t love me back baby?” eren grinned, moving one of his hands to your throat, squeezing rather roughly. he needed to hear you say it, even if you didn’t mean it.

“of course i love you ren. loved you since you first debuted, i knew i had to get my hands on you. now look at you; in my very pink room, telling me you love me because im the best you’ve ever had.”

he couldn’t even object or give snarky remark back because unfortunately you were right.

his hands moved to your shoulders, gently pushing you back.

“i may be high, and i may be a little tired, but i do know that i really like you.” his teeth nibbled on his bottom lip as his hands wandered across your naked body.

“well good. i don’t ever wanna see anything about you and other girls in the blogs again or i’ll block you ‘kay?” eren was laughing until you interrupted him saying a monotone ‘i mean it.’

he leant over you, his chain dangling over your face. his thick brows were pulled together, and if you looked close enough you could see the pout on his lips. of course he’d only see you, but the thought of getting blocked by you had his heart tightening. “i only want you to myself from now on, can you handle that superstar?”

eren gasped when your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer to you. his dick sat right between your sopping folds, the tip nudging deliciously against your clit.

“fuck, yes. yes i can handle it, i can’t handle being blocked by you though. best fuckin’ pussy i’ve ever had y/n ❤︎. don’t break my heart like that,” he rocked his hips slowly, coating his cock in your essence. you had him right in the palm of your hand and god, it felt so good. “don’t make me write some corny love songs about you, because i will.”

“would that really be so bad? i wouldn’t mind having a song written about me.”

“i’ll write one for you anyway, i’ll write ten fucking songs about you and this pussy, shit,” eren’s nostrils flared the tip of his cock accidentally slid into your pussy. he couldn’t help but just bottom out completely, his balls sitting snuggly against your ass.

your mouth parted, a breathy moan slipping past your lips. “mm, do it. i dare you renny.” eren just moaned in response, his eyes fluttering shut. heaven. this was heaven.

“i will baby, i will. i pr-promise.”

each time he pulled out a loud squelch followed. you sucked the cross attached to his chain in your mouth, whimpering around the cool metal. eren settled for fast, deep thrusts, the angry tip of his cock bumping harshly into that spongy spot deep inside you. “so fuckin’ hot. you’re so fuckin’ hot,” eren was damn near panting like a dog, his tongue dangerously close to dangling out of his mouth.

your body moved up slightly with each hard thrust, your breasts bouncing wildly in his face. the sharp canine part of eren’s grill grazed your nipple, his hot tongue coming out a second later to soothe the sting. “you smell so good, y-you’re so good.” embarrassingly enough eren’s thrusts were already getting sloppy. he was close.

“are you about to cum? hm? gonna nut in my pussy ren?” all eren could do would moan, his face nuzzling itself into the crook of your neck. you sobbed out eren’s name when he pushed your knees up, the angle of his thrusts reaching deeper inside you. he licked his thumb, bringing the digit to your swollen clit.

“c’mon baby, make that pussy cum. wanna feel that shit.” your legs shook violently as you second orgasm of the night hit you. eren fucked you through it, growling out curses each time a steam of your cum hit his lower stomach. his cock slipped out ad second later ribbons of cum were painting your tummy in thick, white strands.

eren’s head fell forwards, wispy strands from his disheveled half up, half down bun tickling his forehead. “shit, m’still hard girl. you’re gonna kill me,” eren’s hands cupped your face, smushing his lips against yours in a clash of tongue and teeth.

he pulled out briefly to turn you around on your tummy. “i’m gonna borrow one of those real quick,” he murmured, tatted hand reaching above you to grab one of your many plushies. he arched your back, placing the plushie underneath the pudge of your stomach. “comfortable mama?” his nose nudged against your cheek, his lashes tickling you.

“yeah . . . put it in.” eren tapped the tip of his cock against your clit before slipping in, groaning at the warmth that welcomed him. he yanked your hair back, exposing your neck. “o-ohhh fuck,” your eyes rolled into the back of your skull when eren’s bicep hooked around your neck, putting you in the perfect chokehold. not too tight, but not too lose either. his strokes were slow, but deep, allowing you to feel every vein and ridge on his dick against your sensitive walls.

“this what you wanted the most right? always talkin’ about my muscles, you satisfied now baby?” all you could do was moan pathetically, nodding your head rapidly. “you’re g’nna make me cum again renny, y-you’re gonna make me cum!” your feet kicked wildly against the bed, tears free falling from your cheeks and onto your sheets.

eren grunted, tightening his hold on your neck, “do it.” your body thrashed beneath him, shaking violently as your orgasm hit you in intense waves. the soft cotton of your sheets was basically rubbing your clit raw, adding way more overstimulation than you needed.

eren’s thrusts were relentless, his pace never once faltering as you came. he pressed his hips snuggly against your ass, rolling his hips until you were clawing at the sheets. “keep fucking me l-like that, god yes!” eren groaned, pulling his hips all the way back before slamming back in.

“thas’ right baby, m’your god. your everything,” his teeth nibbled at your ear, licking over the shell of. ugh yes he was your everything :(( you loved him, you adored him, you were his biggest fan. you’d do anything for him if it meant you got fucked like this on a regular.

“hah! ah! ah! o-oh shittt,” you sobbed out, tears soaking your chubby cheeks. eren cursed under his breath when his dick slipped out, a stream of your cum following seconds after. you clawed at the sheets, trying to get out of his grip, but eren kept you steady, shushing your whines with kisses.

“no more renny,” you whimpered, your face nuzzling into the crook of his bicep. “ngh, you don’t mean that baby,” he cooed at you, pressing a kiss to the side of your face.

eren laid on his side, pulling you close to his chest. his heart was beating so fast, it felt like he was high. this must be what people call being ‘pussydrunk’ because he swears if he was asked to speak a full sentence he’d fail.

he lifted your thigh up, slipping his cock between your folds. your body quivered, arching against his chest. “you wanna be my girlfriend? c’mon i know you wanna say yes, just say it,” you didn’t even have time to process his words before his tip was slowly sliding in. the question must’ve been good right? you’ll just say yes.

you squeaked out a yes! when he bottomed out, your backside pushing against his pelvis. he couldn’t believe you actually said yes, he couldn’t believe he actually even asked you that. what were you doing to this poor man?

eren hiked your thigh up, starting up a fallow n’ shallow pace. his lips crashed into yours, moaning into your mouth with a scrunched up face. “we’ll figure somethin’ out, you just—just gotta be mine.”

“i will renny—hah! all i’ve ever wanted is to be yours.” your thighs clamped around eren’s wrist when you felt his fingers strum against your clit. most people would look at you like you were nuts for even accepting such an offer, but they wouldn’t understand. you’ve loved eren and his craft since he first debuted six years ago. his music got through some of the hardest times of your life and for that you were eternally grateful to him—so yes, you’ll worship the ground he walks on and love him like no other.

his free hand shimmied underneath your back, wrapping around your waist. god he was so fucking close. he needed you as close as possible.

“cum with me mama. i’m about to nut, c’mon take it, take it, take ittt,” his hips pushed up against your backside one last time, emptying his balls inside you for what won’t be the last time tonight. he just needed a breather.

your body thrashed against his as you came with a scream. eren covered your mouth, whispering filthy praises in your ear as you rode our your high. he stayed snugly inside you, caressing your stomach with light touches.

it was silent for ten minutes as you both caught your breath, eren not once loosening his grip on you, he didn’t even pull out when you turned around to face him.

“you meant what you said right? about me being your girlfriend?” eren cracked an eye open and was met with your brown ones staring right back at him. was he sure about this? i mean the man didn’t even really know you like that but . . . fuck it, why not. he shrugged, brushing his hair out of his face. “yeah, as long as we keep it on the dl for now. i got a lot—”

“that won’t work.”

eren’s brows furrowed, “what do you mean that won’t work? you’re not in charge here at the end of the day.”

two days later . . .

‘breaking news! well known musician eren yeager was recently seen out shopping in beverly hills with what looks like a new boo! my, my look at all those shopping bags, seems like this girl has got our boy whipped! we believe this is the same girl he was seen with, about a month ago, heading into a hotel in chicago. fans are buzzing like crazy trying to find out who this mystery girl is! it seems to be she has no social media, but never fear my sources are working day and night to find out who she is! until then this is . . .’

jean shut off the tv, pure anger radiating off of him. “you wanna tell me what that’s all about? who the fuck even is this girl—”

“i’m his girlfriend,” you came from around the corner, wearing nothing but one of eren’s shirts. you approached eren from behind, where he was sitting on the couch, a bored look on his face as usual. he visibly relaxed when he felt your hands massage his shoulders. “yeah, she’s right. as of two days ago we’re official.” eren turned his head to press a kiss to the top of your hand.

“eren, you still have the international leg of your tour to do! there’s no way you can focus on that with a distraction—” eren let out a long sigh, his head flopping against the back of the couch. “jean, you’re really not talking about shit i wanna hear right now.” he just wanted to spend time with you, granted you both had been holed up in his hotel room for two days, besides the random shopping trip you just had to go on.

you weren’t a fan of keep your relationship a secret, hence why you made him take your ass the most expensive strip mall you could find. you’d never shopped in a luxury store that was completely empty until eren made his security clear the area so you two could shop in peace. he had so much power over people, it turned you on a lot.

“she’s not gonna be a distraction. she’s gonna come on tour with me, and keep me company. i’d ask if was a problem, but i really don’t give a shit. i pay you entirely too much for you to be bitching at me like that.”

jean’s mouth parted, but no words came out. it wasn’t uncommon for eren to talk to him like that, but it was certainly new to have an audience watching.

you combed your fingers through eren’s hair, frowning at the annoyed look on his face. “is there anything else you wanna discuss?” eren’s ring clad finger tapped against the couch impatiently. jean looked at eren, then you, then back to eren, and back to you. “ah, no. i guess that’ll be all eren.”

“i need you to schedule me a session at the studio, m’workin’ on a new song,” eren called out just as jean was about to shut the door. “dumbass better have heard me.”

he looked up at you through his lashes, “i know i sound a little harsh, but if you’re not an asshole to that guy he’ll run you over. only reason he still has a job is because he’s damn good at it.”

you shrugged, making your way around the couch to sit on eren’s lap. you wrapped your arms around his neck, “i don’t care about none of that. now tell me about this song you’re writing! what’s it about?”

“i think you know what it’s about, mama.”

[sleeplessdove]

— bubble pop electric !

♡ perv!dealer! e. williams x fem! reader

synopsis: you’re at the drive in with your new dealer, what could go wrong?

a/n: just a writing warm up im sorry

warnings: not proofread we die like laura palmer, dealer ellie, weed usage, heavy intoxication kink, perv behavior, stalking somewhat, public sex, degrading, praising, pet names, toxic ellie my beloved, dubious consent, fingering (r! receiving), loser ass ellie, sorta scent kink i guess, manipulation, sex while intoxicated, mentions of further sex lol maybe a pt 2 is coming, probably lots more so proceed with caution !!!

wc: 5k

The sound of your ringtone echoed through your bedroom, making you perk up from where you were seated on your bed. 

She’s right on time, 7:30 on the dot ! 

You hadn’t been expecting her to show up when she had said she would, as your friends that bought their weed supply from Ellie often complained that she showed up whenever she wanted. Then again, she also swore she didn’t do drop offs for anyone and yet she had immediately offered to stop by your place to deliver everything you had asked for. 

She had joked with you over text that it was only because you were a first time customer, she had to make a good impression after all. 

Either way, you weren’t one to question good things so you quickly scrambled out of your bed before texting her that you would be out in a second. 

You tucked your cash into your waistband with shaking fingers, your nerves tingling as you made your way towards the front door with long strides. 

Fuck, why were you so nervous? It’s not like you were doing anything inherently wrong— you just wanted to relax and stop bumming off your other friends' joints by ensuring you had your own stuff to smoke. 

Maybe it was Ellie’s reputation, as you had barely interacted with her besides the small nod she’d give you when she spotted you at parties of mutual friends. She kept to herself for the most part, but that didn’t stop you from hearing about how she was fucking half the girls at the college you both attended. 

And from what you heard, she was good at what she did with those other women. It wasn’t at all hard to believe, as she had a certain way about her that drew you in and you were sure many others felt the same. When she texted you back, even just asking you to specify what exactly you wanted to buy from her, you found yourself smiling at your phone. 

It was the little nicknames, the way she seemed genuinely interested in giving you the best experience possible as a first time buyer. But you had to reason with yourself, reminding yourself that she was just trying to make a sale so of course she was going to be a little sweet on you. 

Even with a rational mind, you couldn’t help but take in a shaky breath as you stepped out into the cool air of the night, spotting Ellie’s car not too far away. You gave a small nervous wave as you walked towards your car before you silently cursed yourself for the embarrassing gesture. 

Despite it, you opened the passenger door of her car and got in, just as she had told you to do over text. Immediately, you picked up on the scent of weed— good weed clinging to the air along with the warm scent of whatever expensive cologne she was wearing. The smell seemed to calm your nerves enough that you were able to give a soft smile. 

“Hey, thanks for coming by. I fucked up my tires last week and you know how expensive that is so I’ve just been—“ you begin to ramble due to how anxious you feel, but when your eyes flicker towards her amused expression you quickly cut yourself off. 

“Sorry” you say with a small laugh, placing your hands on your lap and smoothing out the material of your skirt to soothe yourself. Ellie is quick to shake her head, offering you a smile that makes the corner of her eyes crinkle ever so slightly . 

“What’re you apologizing for, sweet girl?” she questions, all too relaxed. The pet name alone had you feeling dizzy with unexpected emotions. You only give a slight shrug of your shoulders, attempting to appear just as relaxed as Ellie does. “Uhm– I just, I mean you don’t care about that stuff” you mutter with a sheepish smile, fumbling with your skirt for a moment before you pull out the cash you had been saving for this very occasion. 

You hold it out to her as if it were some sort of peace offering, but Ellie lightly shakes her head and pushes your hand away gently, rejecting the money you had saved up for weeks. “You think I don’t care?” she questions, blatantly ignoring the fact that she was  supposed to be your dealer and nothing more. The odd question makes you falter for a moment, unsure of how you’re meant to respond. 

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way, I just don’t think you wanna hear me rambling on” you mutter, your voice far softer than intended. Although it seems as if you picked the correct answer, as Ellie’s grin only seems to widen. “It’s important for me to care about my customers, isn’t it?” she jokes, pleased with herself as she watches you relax in the slightest bit from her playful tone. “I guess so” you say with a breathy laugh, feeling the tension in your body slowly melting away. 

“Is this not enough or…?” you begin, looking down at the money that was still held loosely in your hand, as if you were expecting her to tell you that her prices had suddenly gone up. “First time customer means you get it for free” she says smoothly, reaching into the backseat to grab the baggy she had made just for you. An assortment of homemade edibles and prerolls filled the baby pink baggie she had placed them in, although you had only requested prerolls. 

Your eyes were wide as you looked between her and the goods she had prepared just for you, as if you were a deer with headlights staring back at you. From what you had heard, Ellie didn’t fuck around when it came to her money. She wanted on time payments or even payments in advance, she was a business woman after all. It was hard for you to fathom such a concept, as you were unused to such kindness, especially from someone with her reputation. 

But despite your lack of knowledge of her, Ellie knew all about you. She had spent months slowly befriending your friends just so you would feel comfortable enough to buy from her. Not that she liked selling to any of your friends, but she would do anything to get closer to you. There was no rhyme or reason for her infatuation, and she chose not to question the way she felt about you. 

“I couldn’t– I mean, I can’t” you begin, shaking your head but Ellie is quick to cut you off. “I just want you to test it out, don’t worry about it” she says in a voice that leaves no room for argument. You wanted to object, but you knew there was no point at all. So you simply tuck the cash back in your waistband, offering her a bright smile. 

“You’re not like people say you are” you say without even thinking, inwardly cringing at your choice of words the second you register what you had said to her. She doesn’t seem offended, although she raised a curious brow. “What do people say I’m like?” she questions, not at all seeming offended. 

Ellie knew she had a rather harsh personality with others, but she hadn’t expected that information to reach you. It was as if her plot was falling apart right before her eyes, and yet she had to keep up her laid back facade. “Mm, I don’t know. You’re just– different than what they say” you respond, not really wanting to explain to her that everyone called her a bitch and those who didn’t only spoke highly of her because they had slept with her. 

She doesn’t press the issue, nodding a bit and thanking god that you weren’t threatened by her presence like you used to be. Before you even get the chance to pluck the baggie from her hands, she speaks up once more. 

“You got someone to smoke this with? S’ pretty strong… and if you need someone to make sure you don’t go overboard or anything–” she begins, and you could swear for a moment her voice cracks from nerves. She is so concerned with your wellbeing and for whatever reason it made you blush, your face growing warmer with each passing second. “My place is kind of a mess right now” you tell her in a somewhat disappointed voice, as some part of you ached to be alone with her for a while longer, even if it was just because she didn’t want you to end up greening out. 

“Well we could go to that shitty drive-in downtown, just so you don’t have to be alone” she offers, her fingers lightly tapping against her thigh in a rhythmic manner. “But no pressure, I don’t know what you’ve heard about me but I don’t mean it like that” she lies through her teeth, knowing damn well she had spent the last few weeks fucking herself with her eyes squeezed shut, the image of you held tightly in her mind. 

But you didn’t know that, so who cares? 

You nod quickly, trying to pretend you weren’t discouraged by her comment, as some part of you wanted her to take you to the drive-in with the intention of getting in your pants. “I know, I know. But yeah, why not? I heard they’re playing the original Romeo and Juliet tonight” you say, buckling your seatbelt as she starts up the engine. Ellie couldn’t care less about what they’re playing tonight, all she cares about is getting you alone. 

Ellie had placed the baggie of goods onto your lap before she began driving, to ensure that you didn’t think she was trying to withhold it from you. You kept it grasped tightly in your hands, as if it were a lifeline as your mind raced at a mile a minute. Her music played faintly, some old rap you recognized but made no comment on since the silence between the two of you was comfortable enough. 

All the while, Ellie was trying to collect her own thoughts, as she couldn’t afford to fuck this up after she had worked so hard just to get here. But based on how you were humming along to the music ever so softly, she could tell you weren’t as apprehensive about her as you once were and that helped put her mind to rest. 

Ellie refuses to let you pay even when she has to get the tickets for the movie and you try not to make a fuss about it, doing your best to accept her acts of kindness. By the time the two of you reached the drive-in, the movie was already halfway through but fortunately there was barely anyone else there so Ellie quickly found a spot to park. As she shifted the parking gear into place, she let out a relaxed sigh and glances over to you. 

She takes a moment to simply analyze your delicate features, the way your lips part in awe as the tragic film plays out before you, your attention already on the screen despite only being there for a few moments. With a light nudge, she managed to get your attention back on her so that she could speak to you directly. 

“We should get in the backseat, just so no one sees us smoking n’ it’s more comfortable, so you can enjoy your movie” she states as if it were basic knowledge, and before you can even think her words over, your body begins to move on its own as you step out of the car only to open the back door and slide in there instead. You can’t help but think of how thoughtful she is, how kind she is. This was enough for you to reason that she had no other intentions other than ensuring your safety, although your heart continued to pound in your chest as she settled in the backseat with you. 

She already had a lighter ready, gripped tightly in one hand before she extended her free hand to you, silently prompting you to give her one of the prerolls she had made just for you. You open up the baggie, marveling at the soft baby pink color of the rolling paper she had used for your order. 

As you give it to her, your hands brush against each other and you can feel just how warm she is, a stark contrast to your cool skin. You have to make an effort to not shiver at the contact, the simple act making your mind grow a bit fuzzy.. It was either that or the fact that the scent of weed was already thick in the air the second she lit it for you, along with a hint of something else that took you a moment to put your finger on. 

“Is that lavender?” you question, your head tilting with curiosity as you watch Ellie take a small puff of the joint to make sure it would burn properly before she held it out for you to take. “Smells good, hm? Makes it a little easier to smoke when you roll with lavender, smoother to smoke, at least I think so” she mutters with a slight shrug, trying to ignore the way just watching you take a shaky inhale makes her need for you grow stronger. 

She knew you had smoked before, but not enough to really be a regular at it. This was shown in the way you let out a weak cough, your cheeks growing rosy in the slightest bit. Often, Ellie would dread smoking with inexperienced people but with you, she was in heaven. “S’ good, really good” you huff between your coughs and your voice was truthful despite it all. Lavender was one of the most soothing scents to you, and it helped you relax before taking a few more hits. 

You think for a moment that as good as the smoke is, you’re not really feeling a high that was different from anything else you were used to. That was until you tried to hand Ellie the joint, and you realized your hand was trembling to the point where she had to wrap a firm hand around your wrist so that she could steady you enough to take it from you. 

You have to bury the burning sensation of embarrassment, as you hadn’t taken her warning seriously when she had told you just how strong her stuff was. But the feel of her strong hand wrapping around your wrist only seems to add to the dizzy feeling blossoming within your mind, a pleased sigh falling from your lips as her touch grounds you as much as it possibly can, considering you’re already out of it. 

“Poor baby” she coos in an all too sweet tone that only muddles your mind further. She takes a few hits with ease, her lungs being adjusted to the aching burn that would spread throughout her lungs. You can only watch her with hazy eyes, the realization that you’re alone with someone you had kept in the back of your mind for months suddenly making you feel overwhelmed. Your eyes flicker back towards the movie that continues to play, the smoke bleeding through the windows since Ellie had opened them just enough to make sure she didn’t completely hot box her car. 

Ellie can sense your anxiousness and it makes her heart ache in the most pathetic way. You were completely gone, but Ellie needed you to be a little more pliant if she wanted to be able to get what she wanted. So she brought the joint to your lips, her own hand steady and calm. 

“Just a few more hits for me, sweet girl. You can do it, can’t you?” she asks in a warm tone, easing you into the idea of following her every command. Some part of her is worried she is asking for too much too fast, but you eagerly wrap your lips around the filter of the joint without the slightest bit of hesitation. 

Even with your scrambled mind, you knew that you wanted to please Ellie. You needed to make her proud of you, although you’re unsure why this is such a necessity. But in the midst of your high, you don’t think to question it at all. To you, she is simply being kind and considerate, such a far cry from the other people you knew. 

The fresh hits burn even more, and Ellie is quick to soothe your coughing fit by gently rubbing circles on your back. The smallest touch had goosebumps rising on your skin and you desperately craved more contact, yet you were too fearful to ask for it. So you remain as still as a statue, praying that this isn’t some weed induced hallucination. 

Your muscles begin to relax and Ellie begrudgingly pulls her hand away, not wanting to overwhelm you further. But the moment her warmth is gone, you let out a pitiful whine. It’s breathy and sounds borderline pornographic, as if she had just pulled her fucking strap out of you or something. 

It was a simple touch, and yet it was all that mattered to you in that moment. For the first time ever, Ellie is unsure of what move to make next. She has to play her cards right, lest she scare you off. So she simply watches the way you sway in your seat, your eyes red and half lidded as you look at her with a heartbroken expression due to her no longer touching you. 

“Look at you, so dumb n’ sweet” she coos, her voice making a mockery of the affection she felt towards you. The tone she uses with you is so gentle that you don’t even recognize the degrading words, simply shivering with pleasure as she blows smoke straight into your face before stubbing out the small bit of the joint that is left into an ashtray she had in the car for her cigarette habit. 

Some part of your brain knows that you are too out of it, the world around you spinning far too fast for your liking. And yet, there is nowhere in the world you’d rather be. “You think m’ sweet?” you question, a soft laugh tumbling from your lips. 

Ellie can’t believe that you had chosen to focus on that part of her sentence when she had just called you dumb without any remorse. God, you were everything she wanted and more. 

She nods her head slightly, the weed making her heart beat faster than usual as she slowly inched closer to you in the backseat. The sound of the movie acted as background noise, your eyes fluttering shut as you felt Ellie’s breath fanning against your neck in the slightest. 

Her breathing pattern had changed, short inhales with longer exhales as she tried to wrap her mind around the fact that you had willingly smoked over the limit you were comfortable with just to please her. “Course’ I do. Sweetest little thing I’ve ever met in this god forsaken town” she mutters, pressing a feather light kiss to your neck. 

It was enough to make you shiver, a lazy grin on your lips because in your confused mind, you were the luckiest person in the world. Free weed and the hottest girl at your college was worshipping you as if you were something holy was not how you expected your usual Friday night to play out, yet here you were. 

Ellie was choosing to take her time with you, her senses heightened enough that she can pick up on every bit of your perfume. The intoxicating scent of lavender, jasmine, and vanilla swirled in her mind and left her desperate to be as close to you as possible. 

Her strong hand grips your waist, pulling you closer to her own body until you can feel her rapid heartbeat fluttering beneath her skin due to your bodies being flush tight against one another. “Just relax, baby. No need to think when m’ here, alright? Let all those thoughts fade away n’ focus on being here with me” she whispers, her other hand sliding down your body until she can ease it between your thighs. 

She thanks whatever higher power there is that you aren’t wearing any shorts under your little skirt, her fingers coming into contact with your panties that were embarrassingly wet. Ellie uses two fingers to trace the damp patch on the cotton material, soft curses falling from her rosy lips as she watched your brows knit with a mix of confusion and pleasure. 

“Doing so good for me, aren’t you? I knew you’d be so well behaved” she hums, her voice shaky and breathless as she eases her fingers upwards until she can feel your puffy clit through your panties. 

With slow, almost reverent motions, she rubs your aching bud through the soft material. The sensation enveloped your entire body, leaving you to moan weakly as she pushes your thighs apart a bit further just to see how willing you are. 

She is pleased to find that you let her manhandle you into the position she wants without question, your hazy mind far more focused on what your cunt wants. As much as she loves watching your expression of ecstasy, she needs to taste you on her tongue, to memorize every last inch of your mouth so that no one knows you as well as she does. 

As her fingers continue to move against your panties, she captures your lips in a kiss that reflects the need she has been harboring for months. It’s not rough, slower than her usual method of kissing. It is as if she is praising your body through the way she touches you, her tongue as smooth as velvet as it dances along your own. 

With you so lost in the kiss, she uses the opportunity to push the thin material of your panties to the side so she can properly rub your aching clit. It’s filthy how wer you are, her fingers sticky with your arousal after a few seconds of her intimate touch. As much as you are relieved by the contact, it also feels like it is consuming you completely. 

You can’t help but whine against her lips, your shaky hand weakly grasping her wrist in an attempt to pull her hand away from your dripping cunt. But Ellie refuses to yield, unbothered by your pleas for her to slow down. 

“I’m going easy on you, silly girl. It must be all that weed getting in your head, making you imagine things” she muses. She was practically blaming you for how worked up you were, as if she wasn’t the one rubbing your clit at a maddeningly slow pace. 

The sick part was that you truly believed her, you genuinely thought that someone like Ellie knew more than you did. You were the one who had smoked so much and you wanted her touch, so what right did you have to complain about it? 

“More” you plead breathlessly, tears welling in your reddened eyes and quickly spilling down your soft cheeks. It was as if you had no control over your body, and it was running based on pure primal instinct. 

The sight of your tears only turns Ellie on more, her own cunt aching for stimulation. But all she cares about is getting you off, so she shushes you ever so gently before easing one of her fingers into your pussy. 

Your body tenses from the intrusion, hiccups leaving your parted lips as she sinks her finger into your gooey, pliant cunt. Your walls are slick with arousal and Ellie wishes with every fiber of her being that she could sink her strap into you and give you what you really wanted but her fingers would have to do for now. 

“Thaaaat’s it. Look at this pretty little cunt, taking me so well” she praises, kissing the corner of your lips before easing a few kisses down your jaw. Her dirty words seem so romantic when you’re in such a fuzzy state of mind and you are just so pleased that she is giving you so much attention. 

Your hands are restless, tugging at Ellie’s shirt— although you’re unsure if you’re trying to pull her closer or push her away. “Can’t do it, can’t!” you cry, only for her to add a second finger into your slick hole. She pumps her fingers at a slow pace, not feeling the need to be rough because she knows the feeling is intense enough as is. 

You are left to squeeze your thighs together, the pleasure bordering on pain due to how quickly everything is happening. “But you’re doing so well, angel. You wanted more, didn’t you? Did you lie to me, hm?” she questions, questioning you as if she wasn’t the perv who was fucking some sweet girl in the back of her car. 

The question makes you shake your head feverishly, not wanting her to think lowly of you. “No, I promise. S’ just a lot, never ever— mm fuck, never felt like this before” you whisper, your voice unsteady. Her fingers stretched you open perfectly, her thumb still focusing on tracing small circles over your clit. 

“I know, sweetheart, I know. No one has ever taken care of you properly, huh? Those stupid girls you sleep with don’t know how to please a precious thing like you” she says in a syrupy sweet tone that only serves to dumb you down further. 

You nod your head, unsure what you’re even saying anymore. You couldn’t care less, not when she’s curling her fingers inside you just enough to hit the perfect spot. Her fingers thrust against the spongy spot, her own cunt clenching around nothing as she watches you rut against her hand. 

“Gonna cum, gonna— mmf” you try to warn her, as you were not used to finishing so quickly. But your warning doesn’t cause her to slow down in the slightest, she simply keeps her pace as she licks a long stripe up your neck before connecting your lips to hers once more. 

She swallows every single one of your cries as your cream gathers at the base of her fingers, a lewd white ring of your essence marking her as yours. Ellie can feel her ego grow three sizes as she feels your cunt clamp down on her fingers like a silken vice, evidence of your release all over her hand. 

Ellie helps you ride out your orgasm, lazily pumping her fingers deep into your cunt until you pull away from the kiss just to whine that you can’t go any further. Since she had gotten what she wanted, she finally eases her fingers out of you and brings them to her lips instead. 

She keeps her eyes focused on your fucked out expression, watching your chest heave as she sucks her fingers clean. The taste of you leaves her moaning, as it was saccharine and everything she had imagined it to be. 

You are still lost in the haze of your high, your nerve endings seeming to tingle all over as you try to even out your breathing. The effects of the weed haven’t eased up and so you give Ellie a bashful grin, still so shy in her presence despite what had happened. 

The sight of you still behaving so sweetly pleases her in a way she can’t describe, as the purity of your heart seems to only draw her closer. Without missing a beat, she tugs your underwear back in place and presses a soft kiss to your cheek. 

“You wanna make me feel good too, don’t you?” she asks softly, her fingers absentmindedly toying with your hair. It’s not a demand at all, as she simply wants to see what state of mind you’re in. 

Much to her satisfaction, you slowly nod your head after you take a moment to register her words. “Wanna make you feel good” you babble, repeating her words as if you were nothing more than a mindless doll. 

“Atta’ girl” she praises instantly, using gentle movements to help you sit up properly but letting you remain close to her. “How bout’ we go back to my place, just for a bit. We can smoke a bit more once we’re there and then I’ll let you touch me for a bit” she offers, acting casual about it so that you remained in your pliant headspace. 

The offer of being able to go to your house causes you to instinctively nod your head, an eager grin on your lips as you take notice of the windows that were fogged up despite being opened up just a bit. “Pretty please” you beg in a voice that makes Ellie’s heat stutter for a moment or two because she knew she was about to spend the rest of the night either rubbing your slick cunts together or simply letting you eat her out so that you can learn how to properly please her. 

Maybe both if you were awake long enough, although she was sure that after another round the weed would have you out like a light. 

As the credits of the movie begin to roll, she helps you get back into the passenger seat, even buckling your seatbelt for you and giving you one last gentle kiss before she got in the driver's seat. You were still in a daze and thanks to how strong the weed was, Ellie knew she would have you all to herself for the rest of the night. 

[eridanus-posessed-microwave]

I tag for things that may be mentioned as well. It’s not completed, sometimes I don’t know how in depth things will get.

I also add tags as needed.

If the tag list is going to spoiler your fic, then you need to use overreaching tags (ie- CSA or SA or torture and not every single act done on the person).

If you think that is still going to spoiler things *long exhale* going to be mean and blunt here.

If CW tags are going to spoil your fic, you need to write better.

Let’s take a fandom that has a lot of touchy topics involved- all for the game.

Now- the first thing that happened when my friend recommended the books was- she gave me a list of content warning tags.

Did it spoil the books? Fuck no. In fact it meant that I could read and be in the right headspace to enjoy and process the trauma in the books.

For anyone not in the AFTG fandom- one of the MC’s is SA’d by his childhood abuser.

I am a CSA survivor. The warning was appreciated.

To be honest I sometimes wish that we had warnings in novels as well- more than what is on the blurb.

Because it sure would have been nice to know about the incest in Game of Thrones way back when the first couple of books came out in Australia and I was gifted them for Christmas.

Yeah. None of my family were readers. I begged them for gift cards after that.

AO3 👏 TAGS 👏 ARE 👏 NOT 👏 SPOILERS 👏

i’m so tired of authors not tagging correctly because they don’t want to “spoil the fic”

correctly tagging your fic allows readers who DON’T want to read things like major character death, gore, mpreg or whatever may be their squick to filter your fic out from the main ship/fandom tag. not including the correct tags on your fic is harmful to readers and i’m tired of pretending it’s not.

“don’t like don’t read” great! i won’t! tag your fic correctly next time ffs

[munsonsmixtapes]

Gotta Get Home to My Girl

rockstar!eddie x fem!reader

Eddie is never able to shut the fuck up about you.

The boys take their seats and everyone besides Eddie are mentally preparing themselves for what they know is to come. But how long is it going to take this time? The most recent record for how quickly Eddie was able to mention you in a sentence without being asked was less than a minute. 

“Oh, y/n has those shoes,” he’d said as soon as the interviewer sat down. She just nodded and then got him talking about you for the next five minutes. 

And that’s the thing, he uses your first name and everyone just knows who he’s talking about. He uses your name and “my girl” interchangeably and it’s assumed who he’s talking about. 

The guys love you, of course they do, how could they not? But that man will never ever fucking shut up about you so it’s gotten to a point where if he brings you up first, he’s got to put a fiver in the jar that they’ve brought along with them. 

The promo tour for their new album has barely even started and now there’s almost two hundred dollars in there because he can’t keep his fucking mouth shut. 

But that’s not stopping Eddie at all. He’s happily paying the money and will continue to talk about you as much as he damn well pleases. 

He just can’t help it. He loves you so much that he thinks that everyone wants to hear about you just as much as he wants to talk about you, not even noticing if they aren’t interested because he’s so caught up in gushing or bragging about you. He’s so down bad and doesn’t even care about how much of a simp he comes off as. 

You’re his girl, the thing that he thinks about all the time. No matter what’s going on, there’s going to be something that inevitably reminds him of you so he’s gotta mention because he’s certain that everyone wants to know. 

It’s gotten so bad that there are multiple compilations of him yapping away about you for however many minutes and the thing is, every single one has millions of views and that majority of comments are positive except for a select few that aren’t so nice. But that’s every video about anything, isn’t it? 

And the funny thing is, he knows that you watch them. Especially when you miss him and can’t speak to him at that moment. Because the love that he has for you is absolutely reciprocated and you know you’d be the same if the roles were reversed and you were the famous one. The multiple years that you’ve been together have all been one big honeymoon phase and neither of you care that people are rolling your eyes, saying that it’s cringey. Because deep down, you know that they’re just jealous. 

“I like your shirt,” the interviewer compliments and Eddie looks down, smiling at the shirt once he recognizes what it is. It’s one of the many band t-shirts he wears often. 

“Oh, thank you,” he smirks and just by seeing it, the boys know exactly what he’s going to say. “It belongs to my girl.” When he’s packing to go away, he makes sure that you throw in a few of your own shirts, making sure to spray them with your perfume so he can smell it when he especially misses you. 

“Do you share clothes often?” She asks and Eddie’s smile widens as the boys are shaking their heads. There goes another five dollars. It’s such easy money. 

“Oh, all the time,” Eddie nods. “Especially when I’m away. I like having a piece of her everywhere I go.” He’s actually counting down the hours until he can see you tonight, having trouble sitting still, like an excited puppy who can’t wait to see its owner. 

“That’s so sweet,” she replies, her smile matching Eddie’s. “So, let’s talk about the album.”

“Yes, let’s,” Gareth speaks up, nudging Eddie in the arm. That is the reason why they’re there, isn’t it? 

Eddie’s actually on his best behavior throughout the entire interview, not mentioning you again until the singular song about you that’s on the album is mentioned. He talks about it for the rest of the interview, which is actually only five minutes, but he could easily talk about it for hours. Well, he could talk about anything involving you for that long. 

They get on a plane after that and Eddie’s going through everything like it’s a race. TSA is so quick and boarding the plane goes by in a flash. He blinks and he’s grabbing his luggage from the baggage claim. When he blinks again, he’s in a cab on the way to the apartment that the two of you share. 

He’s now going up the elevator and as soon as the doors open on the correct floor, he’s running to the door with his suitcase dragging behind him. He doesn’t care if it’s close to midnight and all of his neighbors are probably sleeping. He’s got to get to you as quickly as possible. 

He unlocks the door and as soon as he steps inside, he sees you in the kitchen, making something on the stove. When you turn around, your face lights up and you immediately drop your spoon in the pot, making a beeline over to Eddie. 

He scoops you up into his arms and your legs wrap around his waist as you bury your face into his neck. You’re squeezing each other tight and he’s giggling as you pepper his face with kisses like you always do when he comes home. It’s his favorite part of the whole thing. 

“I missed you,” you tell him as sets you back on your feet, pulling him in for a kiss. His lips are cold because of the temperature outside but he knows you’ll warm him up with a cuddle. 

“Missed you too, baby,” he sighs as you take him by the hand and lead him into the kitchen where you’ve got dinner waiting for him. You pile the pasta into a bowl and hand it to him along with a bottle of his favorite beer. 

After you’ve both eaten, you head to your bedroom where you both get dressed for bed and climb into it, cuddling up under the covers, telling each other about what you did while away from each other while a rerun of your favorite show plays on the tv. And it’s there that Eddie decides that there’s nowhere he’d rather be. He’s got his girl and that’s all he’ll ever need for the rest of his life. 

[btsugarush]

I'd Hate To Say it | pjm (teaser)

summary: when you return home from studying abroad, you come to find your former best friend, jimin, has made drastic changes to his life that could put him in danger or behind bars forever.

pairings: drug dealer jimin x fireader.

warnings: smut, violence, fluff, blood and gore, ex best friend jimin, gang member!jimin, tattooed/pierced!jimin, long hair!jimin, use of guns/knives, mentions of self harm, mentions of abuse, alcohol abuse, drugs, drug addiction, angst, murder, strong language, 18+, minors dni.

word count: 796

author’s note: yes yes, I’m getting back into my writing and I’ve finally posted at least the teaser to this fic lol.

Your heart beats heavily against your chest as you finally hear Jimin’s door unlock, the brunette appearing on the other side as it opens. He looks uninterested to see you, an annoyed expression on his face. “What’re you doing here, y/n?” He says dryly. You take a deep breath before you speak. “Is it true?” You ask softly.

Jimin leans against his door frame, a raised eyebrow as he waits for you to explain what you mean, but you don’t. “Is what true?” He urges you to go on. “What everyone is saying… that you– that you have something to do with that boy getting murdered.”

Jimin squints before his dark orbs survey the hallway to make sure no one is around. It was almost like he thought you were setting him up, but regardless of your estranged friendship, he still knew you better than that. Once he made sure the coast was clear, he pulled you by your arm inside his apartment and slammed the door closed. “What’s everyone saying?” He questions.

“That you, along with your little gang associates, had something to do with that shooting that happened in Busan last night.” Jimin scoffs, letting go of your arm. The brunette walks around you, running his fingers through his hair in distress. His back is turned towards you, and he stands in silence for a moment before turning to face you.

“Do you believe them?”

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t. It was time to face the painful truth; Jimin was no longer that sweet boy you used to know. “I don’t know what to believe anymore, Jimin. I mean… since I’ve been back I’ve barely recognized you. You’ve been into a lot of reckless shit, and now you have murder attached to your name? It doesn’t seem too far-fetched anymore.”

Jimin scowled at your insinuation. “Then I guess you got it all figured out, don’t you? Just call the cops now if you’re so sure, y/n.” He pulls his cell from his pocket, reaching out for you to take it. “Go on, take it.” He beckons. You shake your head, refusing the phone. “I didn’t come here to prosecute you, Jimin.” You speak softly. “I came here hoping that it wasn’t you… but I can read you like a book still, and I know you had something to do with it.”

The brunette makes a ‘tsk’ sound. “So what if I did, y/n? Are you gonna rat on me?” He takes a step closer to you, the look in his eyes intimidating; but no matter how hard he tried to instill fear into you, he was still Jimin. “No… but you should turn yourself in. I don’t wanna see you go down like this, Mochi.” You utter the nickname you used to call him when you were kids.

This softens the brunette for a mere moment before he finds himself enraged. “Don’t. Don’t you fucking call me that. Don’t you fuckin’ pretend to give a shit about me. Not after you left me behind.” He grits his teeth, pointing his ringed finger in your face.

“I never left you behind,” you push his finger away, glaring at him. “I had goals, dreams to achieve. I couldn’t be stuck in this dead end life like–”

“Like me?” He cut you off. “Say it, y/n. Say like me.” He pushes. You shake your head, taking a step back from the brunette. “I’d hate to say it, but you’re a lost cause. I should’ve never come here. If you wanna ruin your life forever, that’s fine by me. I’m done caring.” You turn to exit, but Jimin isn’t done guilting you. “You never did.”

This finally boils your blood, and you whip around to face him. “I’m not the one that stopped reaching out, you did!” You remind him. You were tired of being the one to blame for your fallen friendship with Jimin. The phone worked both ways, and he was the one that stopped answering your calls, and calling altogether. “I am tired of being blamed, I am tired of your coldness towards me. I don’t know what the hell you wanted from me!”

“I wanted you to stay!” He snaps. “But you left and I was all alone! I needed you, y/n. I needed you and you fuckin’ left me…” his voice cracks, and for the first time since you’ve been back you see a glimpse of the old Jimin in his eyes. Soft. Innocent. Lost. “I… I don’t know what to say…” your voice is gentle. Jimin finds his composure, shaking his head. “I don’t need you to say shit,” he spat. “You wanna know if I killed that kid? Yeah. I did it.”

[pennyold]

honeymoon | j.m

Summary: When your husband wakes you up late at night so that you can please and help him with his hard problem underneath his underwear.

Warnings: p n v, suggestive language, cursing, pregnancy mention, older husband!joel, and I think that’s all; If I miss something, just lemme know!

w.c: 1,111

a/n: I wanna marry him so bad, and also I love that pic of him. Idgaf about the woman who is touching him (I’m literally so jealous) anyways. no proofreading!! Hope u like it, enjoyyy it!!

main masterlist ↲

peace and love, penny ★

We were out of town; we got married two days ago in Cozumel, Mexico. We loved the Mexican beach and the traditions. Joel loved to travel, and he wanted to get married on the beach; that's why we're here.

It's our honeymoon, and both families are still at the resort, so we decided to take our own space. That is to say, we were in our room most of the day, simply going to the beach in the afternoon and eating out of the room every now and then.

Joel was like a piece of gum stuck to me; he couldn't stay away from me. It's not a complaint; I love it when he bombards me with his affection. One night, I woke up at 2:00 am, and he woke me up, "Darling..." I murmured, and I let out some incoherent words, half-asleep, turning my head towards him with my eyes still closed, "What...?" I said softly, suddenly feeling him start to rub his body against mine, "Joel..." then he kissed my neck, whispering in my ear: "I need you, princess" he rubbed his heavy breath on my neck and made my whole body feel warm "Mmh" I moaned softly, moving my hips against his crotch, noticing his bulge "I'm so hard, would you help me?" Joel whispered, rubbing his hard cock against my ass.

Now, wake up, I touched his bulge feeling his cock, hard and thick. Then I squeezed it, and he groaned, "Shit." Joel took my shirt, pulling the hem up towards the top of my chest, exposing my breasts. "I love your tits, a lot," I smiled. "Yeah?" Do you like them? He nodded, breathing into my neck: "I could touch them every day and never get tired." With that, my stomach tightened, feeling how my pussy clenched tighter and tighter.

Slowly, he took off my shorts, pushing my panties aside. "This pussy, I love how it welcomes me so well," he said, sliding his middle finger through my folds, reaching my clit. I moaned, writhing on his chest. "Joel..." he silenced me, caressing my hard nipples that cried out to be pinched. "I know, darling." I took his covered cock and squeezed it gently. "Alright," he understood and pulled his cock out of his sweatpants. "Will you let me fuck this pretty cunt?" I nodded. "But first I'll dilate it, I need it to be completely wet for me," I explained, rubbing her finger on my clit. I moaned in response, as I couldn't even form a coherent sentence. I opened my legs, letting him touch me, feeling how he tickled my part.

I moaned, moving my hips back, Joel intensified his movements and a low sound from my wet pussy echoed in the small room. "Do you hear that?" I nodded, moaning, "Shit..." Joel shook his head, pulling his fingers out of my pussy, and in seconds I felt the tip of his cock brushing against my entrance. "Ready?" I nodded desperately, spreading my legs wider, but he turned me around, pressing my chest against the mattress with him on my back. "Lift that ass, darling." I obeyed, lifting it for him. "That's right, what a beautiful sight." I tried to look at him, but he didn't waste any time and thrust his cock into my pussy.

I complained, gripping the sheet tightly, muffling my loudest noises, but I couldn't resist and shouted loudly: "Quiet! you want the neighbors to find out that we're fucking, don't you?" I'm not going to lie, but deep down, it excites me. I have always fantasized about others hearing how well I'm being fucked. "Naughty girl," he smiled, sliding his cock inside me again, my inner walls tightened around him, eliciting a groan from his throat. "Shit, keep squeezing me..." he couldn't finish his sentence before I squeezed him again "Damn it," thinking I had upset him, I turned my head to look at him, but he grabbed my hair with his fist and pulled it.

"Ugh," I choked on the unexpected movement, feeling my neck twist back. Joel's rhythm became abrupt, and more so, my body writhed, feeling my climax so close. "Oh God, I'm going to cum," he mocked my pathetic plea, laughing in my ear. "You'll come when I say so," I moaned loudly, gripping the sheets tightly. "Can't you wait? Uh?" I shook my head, hiding my face in the pillows "I want to cum, please" he didn't say a word, he just thrust into me over and over again.

My pussy couldn't take it much longer, "Let me cum, please!" I said desperately, his cock brushing against my inner walls as if there were no tomorrow, its tip dilating and getting bigger inside me, so the hard thrusts became more delicious and tighter, I wanted to come as quickly as possible. "You can cum, darling," I lifted my ass towards his pelvis, covering his cock with my sticky juices, some of them dripping from my pussy, staining the sheets. "Ready to be filled? Or... do you want to suck it and feel your juices, sweetheart?" he asked me, pulling my hair and making me look at the wall, "Answer" I closed my eyes thinking about the best option, but I was so messed up that I couldn't even decide properly. "Fill me up," he smiled while stroking my hair, "You want to get pregnant, don't you?" My ears were so messed up that I couldn't hear him properly, so I nodded as I received his white spasms. His semen covered my inner walls, warming them and filling them deliciously. "So good..." I moaned, letting my body fall onto the mattress, exhausted.

But then I noticed that Joel wasn't saying a word, not even moving. "Joel?" Finally, I turned my head to look at him, and his eyes were looking at me, but a kind of darkness appeared in them. "Honey?" I called, holding his face with both hands. "Would you get pregnant with me?" I smiled, hugging him. "Yes! Of course I would, now you are my husband, I would get pregnant whenever we wanted" he hugged me, wrapping his body around mine "I love you so much" he lifted his body so we could be pressed together, but we could still see each other's faces "I would always support you, no matter what, don't forget that" I nodded while kissing his cheek. "I would never do that. I love you."

After what happened, I found out I was late on my period, so I took a pregnancy test. A bit nervously, I turned the package over and it said: you are pregnant.

[rafesbuzzcutseason]

chasing city lights

chapter 16 - did i mean nothing?

synopsis: you move to new york to start fresh, hoping to find comfort in the city’s atmosphere. that’s when you meet sarah cameron, where she takes you to a concert and you catch sight of the lead band member, rafe cameron. it only takes a moment for you to realize you’re captivated by him. as sarah helps you navigate your new life in the city, you start to get pulled deeper into rafe's world—the music, the fame, the chaos. the more you get to know him, the more you realise that rafe is not just the rock star he seems to be. he’s wrestling with his own demons, and the last thing he needs is someone like you getting close.

masterlist

cw: language, angst

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ ☾. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

the cold night air hit your tear streaked face as sarah, cleo and kie led you out the club.

"hey it's okay, you don't need to stay and watch that bullshit. what a great fucking friend cara is." sarah spoke.

"i didn't like her as soon as i met her" cleo mentioned.

"not right now cleo." kie shushed her. "look, it was all from her side right? rafe wasn't doing anything or initiating anything back so everything is ok i promise." she said, wiping your tears.

"i know you're right" you agreed, "i just can't believe she would do this. i don't understand."

"she's a cunt is what she is." sarah firmly said, earning a small smile from you. "i'm sending her home first thing tomorrow. i'll pay for her flight."

"no sarah stop."

"i'm serious, don't want her anywhere near you or us or him."

"oh fuck." cleo said, panic overtaking her face.

"what?" you mumbled, your heart racing at her distress.

"i am so sorry y/n," cleo whispered.

"cleo." your stomach dropping, "what is it?"

she turned her phone around and your heart dropped at the screen. rafe and cara face to face, lips almost touching. there was no denying the photo.

"oh my god" your voice fell, tears threatening to fall again.

the girls said nothing, but rubbed your back as you sobbed on the side of the pavement. no words could describe the way you were feeling.

"lets get you home y/n, i'll take you to mine." sarah finally spoke.

after a long, silent taxi ride home, you got out the car and straight into sarah's bed, tears not stopping.

you felt drained, your chest aching. the girls had tried everything to distract you, but you couldn't stop staring at the photo, like staring at it long enough would make it disappear.

but it wouldn't. it was real.

you couldn't process that rafe would do this to you. the boy who had loved you, written songs about you, confessed his deepest issues to you, trusted you. how could he have let this happen? did the last 8 months mean nothing to him?

"okay no more of that." sarah said, taking the phone out of your hands. "do you really think he would do that to you? i mean the photo isn't clear, he could've been talking to her?"

"come on sarah. you saw them together too." you mumbled.

"i just don't get it. he is so in love with you." she replied.

"cleary not." you huffed.

"that's not true and you know it." kie said.

"he told me i was different. that he'd never felt this way before." you spoke as the tears falling again. "i don't know what to do."

"look, we don't know the full story ok? there is nothing we can do." cleo chimed in. "i know it doesn't feel like it right now, but you're going to be okay."

"and i swear to god, when you're ready, we'll make sure they regret this." kie stated.

you swallowed hard. regret. did rafe even feel regret? did cara? or were they still at the club, laughing, dancing, kissing, like none of this even mattered?

your stomach twisted. did you even matter?

sarah must’ve sensed the storm in your head because she gently took your hand, squeezing it. “don’t do that. don’t let them make you feel like you weren’t enough. they weren’t enough for you.”

you let out a bitter laugh, eyes still glossy. “then why does it feel like i’m the one who lost everything?”

kie sighed. “because you’re a good person y/n. and they’re not.”

you wanted to believe that. you really did.

instead, all you could do was lie there, staring at the ceiling, trying to breathe through the pain.

because no matter how much your friends reassured you, one thought haunted you.

rafe had promised forever,

and forever had ended with a single photo.

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ ☾. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

a/n: sorry guys😩 you all knew it was coming

taglist: @hoefordrewstarkey @marleymarleymarleymarley @bee-43 @cherryhoneybabe @skye-44 @drewrry @drewrry  @yesterdaysproblemm @pogueprincesa @dylsdaily @rafeysworldim19 @valyrianflower @kaiparkerwifes@judesgfirl@4urvalidation @chillgal135 @drewstarkeyslover @yesshewrites1 @amterasuu@babykhloutofthisworld@blushmimi  @moonywhisp3rs @rafeysworldim19 @marleymarleymarleymarley @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account@vcnillafairy@bambii1i @sammyrenae68 @kittenjujusblog @bambii1i @thesunflowersociety @wtfdudesblog

[j2archives]

LET ME B A N G BABY !

content warnings smut, unprotected piv, jealous!sam, established relationship, dom!sam, mentions of multiple orgasms, dirty talk, sweet talk, nipple play, slight manhandling, he knows how to fuck (definitely)

notes fem!reader, the relationship is secret and i keep listening to gang baby by nle sooo… i also am OVULATING!!! and HORNY!!! 600 words and proofread

both of you knew you couldn’t go public, sam knew that. being in a relationship and being a hunter didn’t go together that well. you were going to tell dean, but it never seemed like the right time. which also meant that sam had to watch his brother shamelessly flirt with you and not be able to do anything about it. which is how you got into this position when dean left.

he pushed himself up, his arm wrapped around your waist as he pushed you onto your back. you gasped when he started to thrust again, pulling you flush against him. sam’s lips landed beneath your breasts, kissing you there before moving to one nipple. sucking and licking the bud into his mouth. his new leverage made you weak, and you couldn’t help but moan and mewl out.

you could feel the knot tightening again, signaling your impending orgasm. sam knew what he was doing, he knew how close you were. you lost count of how many times he’d made you cum tonight. You whimpered out his name, making him groan against your mound. “You feel so good, baby.” he panted out, “feel so tight around my dick, fuck.” he nipped at your nipple once before moving to the second.

you moved your hand down to rub at your clit, your voice breathless as you pleaded, “Sam,” he wrapped his mouth around your nipple again. “God, you’re gonna make me- fuck! let me cum on your cock, baby. please. i can’t,” the way he filled you, the way he stretched you so deliciously every time made your eyes roll back. suddenly, sam pulled out. leaving just the tip inside of you. you let out a whine in protest, before he slid his cock up and down your folds.

when he slammed back in, you felt your airways cut off for a split second. he took your breath away so fast, making you start to babble incoherently. you could feel your pearl throb beneath your fingertips, causing you to clench around him again. “that’s it. fuck, keep doing that. get all round up for me baby... let the whole motel hear you, as loud as you want.” the motel filled with your wanton cries and a mix of sam’s grunts and groans, you looked completely blissed out beneath him. sam couldn’t get enough of the sight.

“sammy,” the broken cry of his name shattered him. he made you wait so long, you were trembling beneath his fingertips. sam pressed a soft kiss to your lips, swallowing your sounds. he pulled away an inch, “cum for me, honey. make a mess on it. i’ve got you, sweetheart.” he could feel your breath hitch.

it was pure white as you came, screaming at the top of your lungs. sobbing at the stimulation and repeating sam’s name like a prayer over and over again. he held you through it, slowing his thrusts down enough to work you through your orgasm. you tightened around sam to the point it was nearly painful but enough to drive him to the edge. his brows furrowed in concentration, his nails digging in your skin as his hips started to stutter. he filled you completely, painting your inner walls. he felt your nails claw at his shoulder as he buried his face into your neck.

he placed soft kisses from your pulse up to your cheeks. praising you, “so good, you did so good. you were so loud for me, baby. fuck, all for me.” he still couldn’t get over the fact that he did this. that you were a mess because of him, his cock. that you were his.

Tagged: @mostlymarvelgirl @theamuz @starzify @h8aaz @dulcescorderitas @bluemerakis @immodestly-marina @sorryitsmyfirstdayonearth

[beans-core]

tysm for continuing on the yap sesh, much appreciated, immaculate vibes here

LOVE your AU idea. Just… an AU where the bats have to go full undercover agent to stop Ras from paywalling the Pit— it’s a situation where there is evil to be stopped, sure, but it’s also a situation where Bruce Wayne’s name becomes more feared to the opposition than Batman’s. Billionaire vs Billionaire. Old money vs New Money (not actually true considering Ra’s has had centuries to accumulate wealth, but he prob made a fake identity, so the public thinks so). Bruce, as an abhorrently wealthy person himself, struggling constantly with his hero complex and wish to defeat not just criminals of the legal system but criminals of society and humanity. Which includes a lot of shitty/unjust rich people. Then, Ra’s fucks around, so Bruce goes hmm and decides to take out his anger about the issue on this one especially evil rich guy and his organization as Bruce Wayne instead of Batman. Continuing to spread the message that the Waynes do not fucking approve of criminal/inhumane bullshit even if you’ve got tons of money. YES.

And that's not even mentioning the absolutely awesome part of the bats getting to creep around and fight baddies like super spies. They all get wacky somehow-functional disguises. Tim deciding to make some spy-movie-esq. gadgets for everyone. Dick amping up the atmosphere by being extra with his fighting style, like incorporating a bunch of completely unnecessary complex flips. The kids bickering about who they think would be the main character in the hypothetical Bats spy movie. I love every single bit of it!! Aaah!!!

Honestly I’m so down to write it, and if I ever get the motivation, I just might… Ra’s’ takeover as a prologue, bats spy AU after it, what’s not to love? (If I do end up writing it, I’ll tag you for permission/credit ofc!)

Ra’s going “lmao don’t believe me? sure alright. Get Baja dunked, fuckhead” is amazing. I can picture it so clearly it’s great. He’d probably do it in front of an audience, so dunking only one person spreads the idea/message wider without actually having to heal more people. Could you imagine: present day, it’s some sort of revered ceremony, ornate and elaborate, that people who are looking for something to believe in attend to see if it’s all true. However, the first few hundred of Ra’s’ followers know that these ‘ceremonies’ used to consist of some beaten-up and kidnapped non-believer in the seat of a carnival dunk tank (with all the stereotypical music and decor of course), Ra’s giving a sharp, all-teeth smile as he throws a knife to activate the trapdoor lever-thing for extra flair, no sweet-talking needed— most of those early followers stuck around because Ra’s’ crazy matched their crazy. And yeah, if anyone would know how to run a cult with a terrifying level of efficiency, it’d be Ra’s. He’d work them like they applied for a 9-5 job.

The initiation idea is actually dope as fuck too. When you first join and pledge your allegiance, maybe you get a sip of the Blessed Baja. Work your way up the line, and you get more access to the Lazarus Pit. The more of your life you dedicate to the cause, the more life Lazarus’ Pit will give back to you. Or something.

Jason: It’s your spleen! You lost an ORGAN Tim, you should have told us!

Tim: So? You don’t have your tonsils, that’s an organ!

Dick: That’s not the same and you kn-

Jason: Jokes on you, my tonsils grew back in the Lazarus Pit so your argument doesn’t even make sense!

Dick, now fully turned toward Jason: Your tonsils did WHAT

[littelovelunette]

sevika sees reader being groped by a man without her consent and saves her

Protector

Contains sexual harassment, mentions of rape, violence, blood, threats

You were on the toilet on your phone, well, who can blame you anyway? You just like scrolling, but seeing that today was your anniversary with Sevika, oh shit. You had forgotten.

With a sigh, you finished up your business in the bathroom and walked to the sink, you looked ghostly.

You couldn't go meet her like this, you took your phone off the bathroom counter and texted Sevika.

"Will you be free after your work for Silco?" You texted and it wasn't long before she replied. She was active probably because she was expecting your good morning text.

"Does me gambling seem like free time to you? Then, yes." Sevika's reply showed on the screen and you rolled your eyes.

"Want a pretty doll on your lap while you play?" You texted as you grinned despite your current messy hair, slightly oily face and groggy look.

"You know how to push my buttons right, bunny." Sevika replied and just then your phone rung as she called you. You got so shocked you almost dropped your phone.

"Hey," you said in a flirty tone making Sevika shake her head on the other side of the call. "Hey, bunny."

"What are you doing?" You asked and she replied with a small grunt, "Getting this damn mech arm on."

"Oh," you put the phone down on speaker as you brushed your hair, "Well, I assume you haven't told anyone that we're seeing each other?"

"No, not yet, why?"

"Nothing," you said despite the way your fingers wrapped around the brush handle harshly. Sevika, of course, didn't know how much every small gesture meant to you but had she seen the way you were gripping the hairbrush she'd know.

"'Suppose I don't want people thinking I'm one of your causal girlies." You answered after a bit as you pulled your hair back using a clawclip.

"Casual girlies..." Sevika repeated before she went silent for a while. "Just tell it to my face you want us to be exclusive."

"Of course, I do." You said indignantly and then sighed, "I just— you know very well I have trust issues. And given your record with the brothel, I'm going to be honest, I don't put you past a potential cheater."

"That's how we're playin', bunny?" You could hear the sound of a lighter clicking on the other side as Sevika placed the cigarette between her lips, "Okay, then, come to Last Drop today during the evening." Sevika said calmly and you could hear the quiet whirring of her metal arm.

"Alright, honey, I love you." You said with a giggle.

"Love you too." Sevika replied in a grumble before she hung up the call. You looked at yourself in the mirror and sighed turning the tap on, brushing your teeth and washing your face.

You needed to doll up today, it made you feel giddy, dolling up for Sevika.

You took a hot shower, washed your hair, put on deodorant and wore a grey shirt with a brown pleated skirt underneath with black opaque stockings paired with black boots.

You were still so incredibly sleepy as you fished through your jewellery, indecisive but ended up on a minimalistic locket.

You tried several different hairstyles, each one messier than the other not to mention the tangles it left your hair in. "Ughhh!" You groaned and pulled the hair tie out, successfully tearing a bit more of your hair. "Maybe I won't tie my hair." You muttered as you worked on untangling your hair.

After a long while, you finally finished up your look, sitting down to do your makeup next. "Oh gosh, this will take a while." You mumbled. Everything needed to be absolutely perfect and onspot.

About 30 minutes later, you finished your whole look and admired yourself in the mirror for atleast another fifteen minutes, taking pictures and trying different poses. Finally, after you finished your self-obsession routine you headed out of your apartment.

"Fuck," you cursed, you had forgotten your purse inside. You opened the door again, heading in, grabbing your purse which had your phone, money and keys, and if you hadn't misplaced it your taser.

You looked the door and headed down the stairs, the apartment unit you lived in was small and nothing way too over the top, just enough to get by. You hummed to yourself as you walked slowly, taking your time on your way to Last Drop.

You opened the door and stepped into the bar, the smell of cigarettes, alcohol, sweat and gun powder filling your senses. Your eyes narrowed a little as you looked around for Sevika but the woman was nowhere to be seen, perhaps she would be late, you thought.

You reached into your purse and withdrew your phone to text her before suddenly your phone was knocked out of your hand, a man grabbing your waist and wrist with both hands.

“Hey!” You began but then his drunken eyes made you trail off in whatever you were going to say.

“Leave me alone.” You said firmly but then he slurred out, “Why is that sweetheart? Let me give you some company.”

He rubbed his clothed dick against your thigh making you shiver and almost throw up in disgust. “Let go of me!” You said, voice raising a little as you tried to pry yourself away from the creepy man.

The man, never letting go, spoke in a dangerously low voice, “There's a gun in my jacket, you wanna feel that barrel up in yo’ cunt?” His voice was now a whisper, “Stop struggling.”

You felt as if your heart dropped to your stomach at that threat. Fuck, where was Sevika when you needed her? Your eyes darted around in desperate search of her but there was no sign of her.

“Please,” you pleaded, eyes almost starting to water now, “Please, let me go. I swear, I won't tell anyone, please.”

“Typical damsel in distress ‘i won't tell anyone' bullshit.” The man laughed, the tone harsh and humourless. “You're not going anywhere. You're coming back to my place and then I get to do absolutely whatever I want with you.” He said, face inching closer to yours, “And do you know what'll be the first thing I'll do?”

“W-what?” You stuttered your question out but just then the man received a smack to his cheek that made him go flying towards the other end of the bar. His body crashed with the table and bar wall, scattering drinks and shattering glass everywhere.

Standing at an imposing height was Sevika, draped in her red poncho, glaring down at the people of the bar and the man with a type of aggression so feral, you'd think she was on Shimmer except there was no glow in her grey eyes.

“Did he hurt you?” Her voice was low and calculated, but you knew how angry she was deep down inside, the tinge of worry in her words didn't fail to show as well.

“I'm okay.” You said, voice shaking a little as you held your own arms, rubbing at your own elbows. “Sevika, please, can we leave here?” Your voice shuddered and Sevika didn't answer for a bit, contemplating before she nodded.

Sevika outstretched her flesh arm for you to come under it, like a mother bird shielding its little one, “Everyone, see this woman? This is my woman.” Sevika announced, “If you even look at her general direction with anything less than a decent thought,” Sevika let the threat hang, throwing the man who was now openly bleeding on the ground a dirty look before walking out of the bar with you.

The moment you both reached her house, Sevika closed the door behind herself and threw her poncho to the ground, “Let me see.” She started checking all over your body, “Didn't hurt you, did he?” Her voice was soft and a little frantic as she searched your body.

“I'm fine…” you mumbled, taking her hands in yours, “Just a little shaken.”

Sevika didn't say anything quietly pulling you in a bone crushing hug, hand on your head, metal hand on your lower back.

Your eyes closed, resting against the taller woman's chest, “Oh, Sevika.” You mumbled.

“Shh,” she hushed you, her voice soft and uncharacteristically gentle, “I got you.”

[manwritingtales]

Jock Roommate

Note: Some pictures were too spicy for Tumblr (this post got flagged!) so I've linked to them instead

---

You know, I was happy when I first saw my roommate. Fit, handsome, and just excruciatingly sexy. You just know he had an easy life using his looks. He'd walk down the street and men and women would stop to turn and stare at him. He was that gorgeous. Too bad he was also a complete slob. He only cares about getting fit, playing sports, and getting laid. The stereotypical jock. Several shirts thrown here and there around were fine; and I honestly didn't care—I even took a sniff or two here and there, but I didn't expect him to be such a big fucking slob.

After a month of living with him, discarded bottles were all around, energy drinks, pizza boxes, and all sorts of garbage that I couldn't even decipher. It made me mad—not just by how dirty he was, but with how he could manage to eat like a pig and still look like that. Even if he didn't shower for days, instead of getting just stinky, he exuded this strong scent that I couldn't help but secretly enjoy. It was unfair seeing how much of a pig he was and still looking like that. Every other day, he'd be dragging some chick to bang all night, and the day after, I kept telling him to quiet it down, and he'd just roll his eyes and tell me to "lighten up." It was relentless. Every day, he'd be bringing a chick, sometimes two, and they'd go at it all night. The guy was a horndog. Muscles, chicks, sports, sex. That's all he cared about.

I don't know if he knew I was gay. Maybe he did. Sometimes, he'd be back from the gym, throwing his wet shirt along the pile of laundry on the floor, he'd grin at me and tell me to clean up the place. He'd take a long shower, while I stared at the soaked shirt. I would take it, feeling the warmth and moist of it, and plunge it deep in my nose. God, he reeked. It was a smell enough to drive a man wild. I wanted it closer to me, I wanted it in me.

When I heard the shower turn off, I immediately threw it away and started cleaning up. He'd stand there, looking fresh with clean skin and black hair, letting the water hit his chiseled abs, and he'd smirk at me and leave without saying a word. It went on for months until I hit my breaking point.

It was semi-finals. I was working on several projects and I got an exam the next day. Phillip—God, even his name sounded sexy on him—brought another girl home and started making out on the sofa. I heard the girl giggling in delight as they moaned. I peeked my head out and saw Phillip kissing the girl's neck. I grew angry. "Do you mind taking it in the bedroom? I got an exam tomorrow. Don't you have class too, Phillip?"

He looked at me in annoyance. "Mind your own business," he said. He turned to her. "Don't mind him. The fag's just jealous he's not you." They both laughed and started making out again.

That was it. It was too much. The pressure from college, Phillip calling me a fag, and the deep-seated feeling that he was right—I was jealous I wasn't making out with him. Things had to change.

What I didn't mention before was that I'm studying chemical engineering. The only reason I got into this prestigious university was that I was a stellar student. I was always combining compounds even before high school, and I knew I could work on something if I work hard on it enough.

I didn't sleep for three months. I dedicated day and night trying to find the perfect compound to use on Phillip. I may have barely passed my exams, earned a warning from my professors for being late or absent, but I was dead set. I used the university lab to make my own concoction, further improving upon it during the night. I barely survived the semester and I still spent the entire break perfecting my concoction.

Time passed like a blur, but I remembered every painstaking detail. Every late night of brainstorming. I didn't care. I was angry at him. I was angry at him for being such a slob, for being a jerk to everyone, and I was angry at myself for being attracted to him. In the end, I finally released the breath I'd been holding for months. I had done it. I'd found the perfect combination.

A new semester arrived. Phillip talked to me in the living room. God, I hated how my stomach felt when he was with me. He just exuded this potent musk, and the way he looks at you is enough to make your knees fall.

"Dude. You gonna pick up around here or what?" he said, glancing at the dirty apartment. I didn't point out that he made that mess. "You know I got more important stuff to do than handle all this. And it's not easy taking care of this bod, you know?" His muscles bulged as he spoke. I stared straight at his eyes. "Try not to be completely useless, for once."

This time, I didn't get mad. I smiled at him and said, "Okay."

He looked at me strangely. I didn't care. For once in my life, I didn't feel helpless against him, helpless against my attraction for him. I had the solution.

Just as scheduled, he went to the gym first thing in the morning. When he came back, he fixed himself a drink and got on the shower. Listening carefully to the running water, I let the liquid fall into his drink. I felt calm. I was so nervous thinking about it, but doing it felt so easy. I ate breakfast as I watched him drain the drink in a single gulp.

I saw him groan and enter his room. I sat on the couch, looking at the clock as minutes passed by. Finally, he opened the door, shuffling slowly to the living room, a confused look on his face.

"I… I don't feel so good…" he mumbled, collapsing to the floor.

I looked at his unconscious body. He even got a nice bubble butt. Too bad it was wasted on a straight dude. I got the vial from my room and swallowed it down. This shouldn't take too long, but for now, I looked at his body.

I turned him around. God, he's handsome. In spite of the horndog jerk, he was so pretty to look at. I let my hand roam over his skin, then gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. He smelled clean and fresh, his skin cool. I inhaled deeply, burying my face on his neck. His potent scent filled me. I could feel my dick become harder. I looked at his face, letting my fingers trace over his abs, and I kissed his lips. I let my tongue inside him, savoring his warmth, enjoying his saliva. I lifted his arms and smelled his pits. Still fresh from his shower, I gave it a lick. A shiver ran down my spine. God, I wanted more. I needed more of him.

I felt a tingle in my chest. The vial was kicking in. I shucked off my clothes and let my naked body fall on him. I could feel his chest, his dick, and his arms. I felt my brain cloud. An odd sensation lingered on my feet. looked down and gasped as I saw my foot slowly merging into his body. This was it. It was happening. I kissed his chest, my hands moving over him as I felt more of my body sinking into him. I could feel his soft breath against me, and it drove me wild.

I felt my chest fall inside him, my arms fading into him, and then the darkness consumed me as my consciousness slipped away.

I blinked. I was looking at the ceiling. A sharp pain throbbed in my head, and I clutched it in pain. Everything felt weird. My eyesight was hazy. I blinked rapidly until it cleared.

"What the fuck…"

Phillip's voice came out. I gasped and touched my throat. I felt stubble on my cheek. Looking down at my legs, I noticed how much stronger and more defined they were.

"Holy shit," I said, the words coming out in Phillip's voice. I touched my abs, feeling how firm they are. I looked down at my arms. Holy shit. They were toned as hell. I stood up and gasped at my new weight—my new height. I stumbled into the bathroom and looked in a mirror. Phillip's handsome face stared back. He looked confused, and I raised my arms and saw Phillip in the reflection do the same. I reached out and touched my cheek.

"It… It really worked…" I felt his tongue, somehow the feeling of enunciating words and syllables felt different. I flexed his arms and saw Phillip in the reflection doing the same. "It fucking worked!"

I watched as Phillip's face lighten up, grinning, as I felt my new body. "God, Phillip. You were always so fucking hot."

Hearing Phillip talk this way was enough to make me hard. I looked at every inch of his chest, at every part of his arm, and I could no longer ignore the hardening length below me. I shoved his boxers down. Good God. Phillip was packing serious heat. The thing was seven inches long, and it was only half hard. "Damn, Phillip," I muttered, "no wonder you got a chick every night."

Just the mere fact that I'm looking at Phillip and listening to his voice was enough to make me hard. I let out a heavy breath as I watched his cock get harder, arching to a full ten inches. I gave it a tug and left out a groan. Phillip's voice was manly and needy.

"You're so hot, Phillip," I said, gasping as I took his dick in his hands. I closed my eyes and let the sensation overtake me. I was him. I'd finally done it. I gave my brand new dick a squeeze and I groaned, as loud as I can. I felt my knees buckle, warmth coursing through my body and directly to my dick. I opened my eyes and stared at my reflection, seeing Phillip with his mouth open, hand on his long, hard dick, groaning. I spit on his dick, the saliva mixing with his pre-cum. I grinned at his reflection, trying to emulate the original Phillip as much as I can. I flexed his arms, wiggling his eyebrows as I stuck his tongue out. Jesus Christ he was sexy.

I turned and looked at Phillip's hairy bubble butt in the mirror. He was perfect. I stroked his cock, feeling the overwhelming heat radiating from it. It was veiny and wet, pulsating in my hand. I stroked it faster while flexing his arms, sniffing his armpits and feeling his knees buckle from the sensation. I started stroking harder and harder. "Fuck, Phillip!" I groaned, the words coming out in his voice, sounding so damn sexy. I stroked harder, feeling his body get slick with sweat. "Ohhhh fuck yeah!" I groaned harder, letting his voice fill the room. I inhaled deeply, taking in his smell, sniffing his armpits as hard as I could. His scent was powerful. It'd never been this overwhelming. It was in me. This strong, musky scent was everywhere.

I stroked harder and harder. I looked at Phillip in the mirror, seeing his body jerk off, his hands slick with saliva as his mouth drooled. I felt my knees buckle and I let out a loud groan, massive amounts of cum spurting from his dick, splattering against the mirror. I let the sensation wash over me, the warmth still so overwhelming. I breathed in and out, my chest rising and falling.

I looked at his reflection again, then at my hand. It was slick with his cum. I stared at his reflection and watched Phillip lick his own cum from his hands.

---

I plopped down on his bed. Even his bed smelled like him. His room was a mess—clothes thrown everywhere, bottles, papers—but I didn't care. I stared at the ceiling, watching Phillip's chest rising and falling. I looked over his body, the birthmark, the veins, and all the little things I'd only began to notice now that I was in him.

"God, Phillip, why did you have to be such a dick?" I whispered in his voice. I breathed in and out, still not sure if this is real or a dream. I heard a notification from his phone, and grinned as it opened using facial recognition. It was a message from a random chick, asking when they were going to meet up.

"Well, that's not gonna happen," I whispered. "I'm gay as fuck."

Hearing Phillip say those words made me snort, a laugh escaping my lips. I tossed the phone aside and let myself enjoy the warmth of his bed. He feels so tight, so manly, and so good. I looked down at his dick, which was already getting hard again. A wave of intense horniness washed over me, then dove straight to my hardening cock. "Jesus, Phillip. Now I get why you're such a fucking horndog."

[militaryapple]

I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER.

synopsis. you go out to forget about your dead best friend, though its hard to forget when you miss him so much.

cw. mentions of death, reader has auditory and visual hallucinations, grief, sad like genuinely disheartening, angst. pure angst.

add ons. ok so what i was sad im allowed to take it out on caleb probably first fic out of a series idk anyways smut coming soon

wc. 3.1k

parties. you had a love and hate relationship with them. you loved them because of how free you felt. how reckless you could be without anyone telling you that its dangerous to drink so much with a low tolerance, or how you shouldn't wear such a revealing outfit knowing your job. fuck, you were.. free.

but that was the worst part about it.

you were free. you didn't have anyone holding you down. being your anchor. you didn't have anyone making sure if where you were going was safe, even going as far as to go with you. it was fine, you were used to this routine by now. you partied to deal with stress, problems, grief, him.

it was just the thought of him that haunted you. you knew that partying didn't change how you felt, how it couldn't make anything disappear. it did distract you though, even if it was just for a bit. it wasn't your first rodeo either. it was those tiny moments where you thought of him.

thought of caleb.

how when you get ready, you wondered if he would tell you that you looked pretty in the dress you wore. how he looked at how snug it fit you, or how caleb would clench his fist, telling you that you shouldn't go. how much of a bad idea it was. sometimes you imagine, what if he saw you? in the bar or club. how he would look at you with his eyes softening the moment he found you in the crowd of people.

time would move slower, his once worried expression now calming into a relieved one. how he looked at you like you were the world. his world. you imagine how he would squeeze his way through people, with murmurs of "excuse me" and "I need to get by, sorry". just to reach you. to hold you. to know that you were okay. the sight of his hands lingering over you, not quite touching you but enough to feel that he would be shaking, how he would cup your face and lean down. heads together while you could feel the steadying of his breath.

"you're okay."

it was one of the few sentences you could remember from him. the words echoing in your head so clearly it was like he had just said it. it was one of the many things that calmed you down. the only thing you thanked your brain for remembering that had actually made you feel soothed. it was just to help you calm down if you were having a panic attack, or if you were overwhelmed. how his voice and a couple of slow breaths made the fast-turning world suddenly slow down.

oh how you missed caleb.

this is why you needed to leave the house.

your therapist advises against you doing this. how dangerous it is for you to constantly go out whenever your mind was in a state of distress, but you've never gotten hurt. so it didn't matter right? it was the only thing that cleared your mind of him. that made you remember that you're still young, free. so what if you didn't have an anchor? someone helping you? you were a big fucking girl. you have a job, friends a life. he's been dead for a year. you need to get fucking over it.

and god did it hurt your heart to think that.

you can't be angry at a dead man. yet you somehow managed to be. why you were angry at him? you don't even know. maybe it was because when you last saw him, you didn't know it was going to be the last time you saw him. maybe it was because it was the only day you both were free, and how you missed seeing his face and eating his cooking after so long. maybe it was because you missed the dumb promises he made when he was younger, still managing to keep long after your adolescence. or maybe it was because of the argument you both had, before he was gone. right before your very eyes.

oh god. you really needed to leave the house, it was becoming a pity party. you grabbed your purse, and put on your pumps. walking to the door and grabbing your keys. "here we go" you sighed to yourself, opening the door and shutting it after walking out. once you locked your door you made your way to the elevator and down you went.

checking your phone, you looked for tara's location. it was one of the few weeks you two were able to meet up, and its not because it was caleb and gran's death anniversaries so you were told to take a week off because captain couldn't have her best hunter overworking herself again. seeing how tara was nearby, you shuffled to one side of the sidewalk. tara pulled to the side, stopping her car while you got inside in the passanger seat.

"I'm telling you," tara voiced "maybe your therapist is right, we shouldn't be going out on a day like this, no matter how much I would LOVE to be out dancing it doesn't seem right - and as your best friend.." tara trailed off, looking over at you. you trembled, hands clutched together. she couldn't help but sigh. "fine. lets just get some flowers to lay at their graves first at least. so you won't feel guilty about not going tomorrow." she said softly. her gazing shifting back to the road.

tara pulled over at a nearby flower shop. she got out, and you followed her actions. you went in saying "hello" to the shop-keeper. her face soft. she must've known you were here for a loved one. she didn't know, she couldn't know. your stomach bubbled. how would she know about him? did she know you were there? your heart ached. why did she look at you so pitifully? what if you were there for just flowers? what if you wanted to give them to someone alive, breathing? your hands clenched and your face started to boil.

"hey, are you okay?" for a moment you paused, feeling the sensation of someone resting their hands on your shoulder, giving it a slight squeeze. was it? could it be? whipping your head around. caleb? was that really him? it sounded just like him. your illusion soon shattered with your view focusing on tara. ah, just another one of your imaginations. you sighed, nodding your head.

"you're okay." you silently reminded yourself, taking a deep breath. you looked at the flowers tara held up. smiling in approval, tara paid for them and you both started to return to the car. you couldn't help but look back at the woman behind the desk. she felt.. off. nonetheless you shook it off, it was just "grieving emotions" or whatever your therapist called it. she doesn't know you. she doesn't know caleb.

tara soon made another stop, your heart beating faster with each movement you pushed yourself to do. it's routine, you have to see them, see him. you walked behind tara, she didn't say anything. you felt like a ghost, mindlessly floating around whenever you go visit their graves. "we didn't have to do this now, tara." you forced yourself to say. your breath hitching and voice cracking. you just did your makeup so nice, it'd be a shame for you to ruin it with tears you could shed tomorrow.

"I know" Tara said with a faint smile. you two managing to reach the top of the hill as she got down to place the flowers. you stood next to her this time, closing your eyes and making a prayer before turning around and walking back to the car, now ahead of her. "but if i didn't come with you today, I don't think you'd ever come this week to see them." and she had a point. that's why tara was your best friend, she knew you so well. she knew this week, you wouldn't get up. wouldn't visit the graves of the most precious people who ever lived.

you could only huff as you both returned to the car.

it wasn't until soon after tara had gotten out the car, smiling brightly as she walked to the line of the bar. "okay," she said gleefully, turning her head to you. his face stern as she pinched your cheeks, you smiled hitting her hand away playfully. "you aren't getting black out drunk this time, you hear me? i'm making sure tonight you aren't being so reckless. i always think to let you have fun and when I turn around - it's chaos!" she huffed and scrutinized you.

it was sweet on how she attempted to be your anchor, but she didn't compare to him. she couldn't compare. god, it was even worse on how you were comparing your dead best friend to the one who had just visited his grave with you. your stomach did a twirl of uneasiness.

"okay okay tara" you said softly, "i get it, lets go in now." you nudged her into the bar. it was crowded. the lights flashing different variations of colors as you watched how people moved and wiggled. this is where you needed to be, this was your home, your safe place. no matter how bad that sounded, no matter how self destructive you were, this is what helped you.

you maneuvered your way towards the bar. ordering yourself a drink. "here's to the first drink of the night" you mumbled to yourself lightheartedly. you could hear another chuckle next to you, turning your head you saw a man. he looked about 3 years older than you, his hair ruffled and his eyes a hue of blue. if you were really desperate you could even say purple if the lights hit his face in a nicer view.

he looked like caleb. it could make you shiver.

"another one of those nights?" he nudged your arm. you nodded and chuckled in response, taking another sip of your drink. "can't help it." you joked. now's not the time to mention your dead best friend's anniversary. "shit happens." the man swallowed down his drink getting up. he moved towards the crowd watching to see if you'd followed.

you watched him. how he said "pardon me" and "gotta get through here." it was scary. you blinked, and instead of him, you saw caleb. please not right now. you had hoped not to see him. how he smiled waving you over. how easily you've given into this little mind illusion. he felt so real.

you leaned in closer to 'caleb' and your stomach did a leap. your face buzzed with heat washing over your cheek. you missed him, you missed his touch and his warmth.

it was like you could almost sob with how real this was. you looked up, and saw his beautiful eyes. the eyes that washed you in so deeply, that made you feel like you were the only girl in the world.

so you couldn't help it if your hand moved to his neck, and the other moved to his face. how your eyes fluttered with utter love for the man standing in front of you. the man you've known your entire life, now here, dancing with you. you wanted to talk to him, hear his voice. you wanted to hear how much he missed you, and how he was holding you, how he was here, holding you.

"caleb," you said softly, placing your head back to his chest. it wasn't until you felt a sudden halt between you two. in confusion you looked up at caleb, before feeling a shove. your eyes blinking, brows furrowing. the illusion that long comforted you now slipping away as the man who once held you looked at you in pure disgust.

caleb's scent was no longer there, instead a heavy coat of musk and beer loomed over it instead. the once sugary dream you had was swiped away from you while another hand gave you licorice. it was sickening.

"the hell? the fuck's wrong with you?" he cursed under his breath storming away. "next time, you don't call a fucking guy another mans name when dancing with them." he spat at you before flipping you off. fuck. fuck fuck. did you really imagine caleb as this man? are you fucking insane?

you could only laugh at yourself to keep your composure. to keep yourself from bawling your eyes out. you moved back to the bar. ordering a new drink and sipping out of that. your eyes glazed around the bar, tara was dancing with some guy which meant you were either going home alone today or you could third wheel in the backseat, listening to the sounds of kissing and small moans.

you would take your chances walking home alone today.

tapping the bar counter, you asked for the tab and paid in full. mimicking the way caleb used to do it when you watched him order you both shirley temples when you were younger. yet there was no caleb, and instead of mocktail's there were full blown drinks made up of your own pity and guilt.

you walked outside, it was freezing and you could see the clouds beginning to brew. great, you'll just call a taxi instead. waving on the side of the road, you watched as a yellow car pulled over to you. getting in you told the driver your address and asked to get you there fast. you would even throw in a 15$ extra tip.

the ride was silent, and the rain began to pour. how cinematic. you thought to yourself. you've always hated the rain. the sounds of thunder and lightning that would be too close for your liking, alarmingly close. on those nights, you would walk to your door sniffling. opening it to find caleb, with his arms held out. instinctively you would rush in his arms as he coo'd you. bringing you back to bed and holding you.

"it's okay. you're okay." he'd say softly. rubbing the center of your back as he watched you trying to fight your eyelids open "i'll be here when you wake up. so sleep all you want, okay pip-squeak?" though this time it would be a lie. if you woke up tomorrow morning, he wouldn't be there anymore, and the day after that, and the day after that. repeating until you eventually took your last breath.

you sighed, before looking out the window. you thanked your taxi driver, paying him a 20$ tip instead. he tried to beat the rain, so A for effort. as you got out you looked up at your apartment, the sight of it looming over you. how you hated being here, hated the thought that again, tonight, you would be crying over the death of him.

closing the taxi door, you turned around to walk to your apartment, moving into a halt. there was a man. his frame was big and his size was taller than you. you looked closer at his back. he was in some sort of uniform. his hat hid his hair while the umbrella he held up kept him perfectly dry. he looked up at the apartment, like he was scanning in each and every window for something, or someone.

is he okay? does he need help? even though you were an average person, you were a hunter first still. you moved towards the man in black, placing your palm on his shoulder.

it probably wasn't a good idea to do this. he was probably a creep, and you were in a dress just returning from the bar you would no longer go to out of pure embarrassment. something in you tugged at the man though. you couldn't shake the feeling, and your heart skipped beats.

as the man turned you could catch a faint smell of vanilla. vanilla, apples and oak. it wasn't a heavy scent, but it was faint enough for you to swoon - oddly it reminded you of him. it was his scent. a scent you could recognize a thousand times in a thousand lives. your face shoved down. reluctant to look up, yet you forced yourself to.

no. you didn't want to imagine him again. not like this. it was new, you've never seen him like this. yet you couldn't deny yourself. you wanted to escape this illusion - this torture. yet you stood, looking.

the umbrella dropped, the sound of a small splash and thud could be heard as the man in front of you looked down at you.

it was caleb.

he was home.

your eyes fluttered, you wiped them as you stared at him. you dug your nail in your finger to make sure this was real. the pain confirming the actuality of the scenery. you couldn't help but sob. your hiccups matching the way your body huffed up and down. the way you hyperventilated as your lungs tried to clutch on as much air as they possibly could.

caleb looked down at you, his hands at his side while he stood in disbelief. emotions swirling in his chest. should he reach out to you? comfort you and hug you? tell you that it's okay, hes here now? caleb leaned into you. his hands finding their way to your back and he tugged you closer to him. it seemed all so natural for him, as he's done this countless times before.

you couldn't help but hold on to him, cling to him like he could disappear at any given moment. like if you let go, he'd leave you once more. caleb rubbed your back, holding you as close as he could. oh how he missed you, your skin and your beautiful eyes. he missed your scent and your voice. it pained him to know that just the mere sight of him made you burst out in tears.

it devoured him knowing that he caused all this anguish for you. you had already saw him, so there was no other way for him to make up the absolute torture he put you in the past year. caleb planted a small kiss on your head, his coo's soothing you as much as they could.

"I know pip-squeak, I know. its okay, I'm here, lets go inside okay? It's cold and wet out here. I promise I won't go anywhere." was what he had said to you, he wanted to calm you down. make sure you were okay, even if he would be making empty promises.

[justmeinadaze]

November Rain (Part 5) (Eddie X Plus Size Y/N)

Warnings: Older (Late 30s) Daddy Eddie/ Young (early 20s) Plus Size Sub Fem Y/N, Light Smut, Fluffy I love you smut, light dirty talk, etc.

ANGST *Poses for an angsty picture with an angst photographer who has been paid in angst* Mentions of cheating, Y/N get smacked (brief), Eddie takes care of her and makes her feel safe, Eddie finalizes his divorce (brief), Ava causes ALL the problems, cliffhanger ending.

Shit gets real!

Enjoy <3

Word Count: 3955

Series here/Donate to Me

“I know this is probably a dumb question but how is everything going?”

Eddie smiles as he reads your message while he waits for his ex-wife to come in so they can proceed with finalizing everything for their divorce.

“It’s going.”

“Guess who she brought for moral support.”

“Oh, baby. I’m so sorry.”

“I wish you could be here.”

“That sounds weird. I’m sorry.”

“Why would anyone wish someone they care about could come see a divorce proceeding?”

“Idiot, Munson.”

“Eddie! Lol. I know what you meant.”

“But I’m going to see you tonight and I promise to take care of you, Daddy ;).”

“Alright, guys thank you for your patience. We just wanted to run through everything here. Now we want to make it clear that Mr. Munson is asking for nothing thus will get nothing.”

“Yes, he knows words, Jerry. Nothing means nothing.”, Eddie’s lawyer sasses as he rolls his eyes. “Fortunately for your client, he’s gone against my advice when it comes to getting things that should be owed to him including documenting the infidelity.”

“What?”, Ava asked causing all eyes except Eddie’s to turn her way. “That’s an option?”

“Um, yes. Instead of filing for the divorce on grounds of infidelity, Mr. Munson chose ‘irreconcilable differences.’”

“Why?”

“Does it matter?”, his lawyer snapped.

“What? So he can seem like the fucking good guy?!” As Ava begins to yell, her lawyer hastily pats her arm hoping to shush her before she pushes herself into a corner. 

“I didn’t want it on record. Again, that part of our marriage should be between me and you. No one else.”, Eddie hisses under his breath while continuing to glare at the table in front of him. “Honestly, at this point whatever gets this done faster I’m ok with. I don’t want money or the physical stuff. I just want to move on with my girlfriend and my boxing career and be happy.”

His ex’s eyes scanned him over at the word “girlfriend” and remained on him till the papers were ready to be signed. The metalhead couldn’t scribble his name down fast enough but as soon as he did, he gathered his things and hastily exited the room. 

***

“Ok, sweetheart, smile.”, Eddie’s uncle beamed as he took a photo of Paige in her graduation gown holding her diploma with his hand-held camera. 

“I don’t know if you know this, old man, but phones can do that now.”, his nephew teases making you and your friend giggle as Wayne narrows his eyes his way. 

It had been a few weeks since Eddie’s divorce and he had just fairly recently started getting back to his old self. You spent as much time as you could at his apartment comforting him and listening to him break down as he vented. 

“I’m sorry, baby. Fuck! Why do I feel this way?”, he growled at himself.

“It’s ok, honey. It makes sense. I mean, you had a whole life and family with this woman. You loved her once and she hurt you.”

Tugging you into his arms, he held you to his chest. 

“I don’t deserve you.”

“Said the man who used a flip phone till like 2017.”, Paige joked.

“Yeah, yeah, shut up.”, Eddie threw back before stepping forward to wrap his arms around her. “I’m so proud of you.”

You softly smiled as he kissed her forehead, praying that nothing would ruin this moment for either of them. 

The three of you weren’t that lucky. 

“Oh my God, sweetie, I’m so proud of you.”, Ava cried as she came forward to pry her daughter out of the metalhead’s arms to hug her tightly. 

Eddie and her boyfriend locked eyes before the long-haired man nodded silently signaling that he didn’t want any trouble today and the other man seemingly agreed, nodding back. 

“Can you believe it, Edward? Or daughter is a college graduate…again!”

“Nope. Can’t believe it at all.” As he forced a smile, Wayne patted his back comfortingly. “So, uh, we’re taking her to lunch and then I’ll have her back to you for dinner—”

“Oh…why don’t we all have lunch? I thought that was the plan anyway.”

“I, uh…” Your boyfriend’s protective eyes flick to his daughter before shifting your way and back to his ex. “I don’t know if that would be appropriate.”

“Why not? We can all get along for one day I think, right, Paige?”

When your friend looked at you, you flashed her a soft smile as you took her hand. 

“It’s up to you, sweetheart.”, you whispered. 

“O-Ok, I guess that’s fine.”

***

Nothing about this lunch was fine.

While Wayne tried to start casual conversation, the tension between Ava and Eddie was palpable to say the least. 

“So, what are your plans now, Paige? Got a job lined up?”, he asked as she took a sip from the glass in front of her. 

“Um, yeah, kind of. There’s this museum downtown that wants to hire me to review and authenticate art. I’ve also been saving for a studio so I hope I can get that soon.”

“How much more do you need?”

“The down payment is $2500 and I’m about halfway there.”

“I have that if you need it, baby.”, Eddie offers making his daughter smile as she politely shakes her head. 

“Thank you but I want to do this myself.”

“I can understand that.”

“I’ll bet he does.”, her mom sassed under her breath causing her ex to shift his gaze her way. “Always did things all by your lonesome without consulting or worrying about me or your family.”

“Ava…”

Your hand on his thigh gave him pause as he heavily exhaled and leaned back in his seat. 

“I’m, um, I’m going to run to the bathroom. Y/N, will you…?”

“Yeah, of course.”

As soon as the both of you are out of sight, his ex-wife tilts towards him and points her finger in his face. 

“Why are you always trying to be the hero?”

“I’m her father.”

“Oh, like that really fucking matters to you.”

“I’m not doing this with you today, Ava. Our daughter just graduated college; can’t we fucking celebrate that? This is about her not us.”

“No.”, she hisses. “This is about you. Everything was always about you!”

“I’m not doing this.”, he repeated sternly. 

“Oh, you aren’t? You think your father of the year? You put everything over me and that little girl. First it was music, then it was boxing and now it’s your girlfriend.”

Eddie glared her way as his face scrunched in anger. 

“My girlfriend is none of your fucking business, Ava. I fought for years to make you happy but you always chose this fucker even when you gave me that fucking ultimatum. I’m finally with someone I don’t have to convince to treat me like a fucking person and who doesn’t fucking cheat on me.”

“You cheated on dad?”, Paige asked startling everyone at the table especially her father. “When? With him?”, she inquires as she points to her mother’s boyfriend. “You said you met him after dad left…that Dom helped you heal!”

“He did, honey.”, she tries to sooth, rising to her feet.

Your eyes meet Eddie’s, completely unsure of what to do but he seems equally lost as he also stands and allows things to play out. 

“When did you meet him? Before or after dad left?”

“Paige—”

“Answer me!”

At her outburst, people in the restaurant turned to look towards them. 

“Maybe we should head home to talk about this.”, Wayne interjects trying his best to be diplomatic. 

“Answer me, mom.”

“Did I meet Dom before Edward left for good, yes, but he was gone way before that. I was on my own most of the time and—”

“Don’t lie to her. The first time I caught you, I told you if you left him I would do everything in my power to work on us and even stopped boxing for a while but you kept seeing him so I left.”

“Why…why didn’t you say anything?”

“You had such a close relationship with your mom…I didn’t want to ruin that. Plus, like I tell you both, what happens between your mom and I should be between us. I never wanted you to get involved.”, Eddie answered honestly. 

“Oh please! I’m the bad parent here because I talked to my kid!?”

“Good wording, Ava. Ignoring the fact that you fucking lied!”

“You’re a liar to, Edward Munson!”, she spat as he looked at her with confusion. “Come on…it’s obvious your fucking Y/N.” Everyone at the table became silent as your eyes widen. “The way he looks at her, pulls out her chair, and smiles at her fucking compliments. He used to be that way with me in the beginning…”

Paige’s mouth drops in shock as she tries to understand the information coming at her. 

“No…No. Dad’s polite…he’s always been that way…Right?”, she asks as her gaze shifts towards him. “Right?”                

Eddie comes around the table to hastily grab her palms. 

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I never meant to hurt you. We met before either of us knew you were her roommate.”

  Silently, her bottom lip shakes as she yanks her hands from his grasp and power walks out the front door, ignoring the sound of your heels following after. 

“Paige, wait, please. Let me explain.”

At the sound of your voice, she stops dead in her tracks and turns to smack you hard. 

“After everything I’ve done for you, this is the thanks I get! God, you must think I’m really stupid, huh!? Us sitting there talking about your ‘boxer guy’ and me not knowing that you’re a fucking whore!”

“HEY!”, Eddie bellows as he comes up from behind you to face her. “I know you’re upset and you have every right to be, Paige Elizabeth Munson but that’s the woman I love so you will treat her with respect.”

“Respect?”, she cackled. “You didn’t show me respect when you decided to fuck one of my friends! Glad to know both my parents are despicable human beings!”, she growled as her mom finally came out as well before bobbing her head around her father to point your way. “You have 30 days to get your shit out of my apartment. Consider this your eviction notice.”

With that she turned and climbed in her car before speeding down the road. 

“We need to follow her.”

“Do we, Ava?!”, the metalhead screamed making you jump. “What are we going to say?! Because obviously you wanted to start a fucking a fight! What the fuck is wrong with you?! This was her graduation!”

“So it was ok for her to find out about my indiscretion today?!”

“SHE DIDN’T NEED ANY OF THIS TODAY! This why I wanted to take her to lunch privately!!”

“Ok, let’s calm—”

“Don’t you fucking speak or I swear to God.”, Eddie threatened Dom, stepping forward to intimidate him until his uncle quickly slid between them. 

“No. Paige is most important and both of you are her parents. Ava and Eddie, go find her. Dominick, son, I highly recommend you go home. This is between Paige and them. I’ll take Y/N back to my hotel and look after her till you’re done.”

As if he just remembered you were there, the boxer swung around and abruptly pulled you to his chest. 

“Are you ok?”

“No…go find your daughter, Eddie.” Cupping your face in his hands, his thumbs dried your tears that had begun to fall. “Go, Eddie. Now. GO!”, you shout he when hesitates to let you go as you shove his chest. 

“I got her, Ed. She’s safe with me.”, his uncle insisted as he wrapped a protective arm around your shoulders. 

The man’s eyes didn’t leave yours till he reached his motorcycle, hastily jumping onto it, and riding away in the direction Paige left in. 

####################

You listened to Wayne move about his hotel room as you tried to control the tears that were endlessly flowing. 

“Alright, honey, this is going to be cold.” You wince as he places a cold beer from his minibar against the growing bruise on your face. “I’m sorry. There’s no first aid here but the alcohol in that box there costs enough that it damn well should heal all wounds.”, he chuckles, smiling to himself when you breathily do the same. 

Again, he moves about and after a moment pushes what looks like an album into your field of view. 

“I bring that with me when I travel…mostly to embarrass Eddie.”

Slowly, you open the cover, smirking when you see a younger Wayne holding what you assume to be his baby nephew. 

“Yeah, I think that was the one and only time he was ever not talking.”, he teases as you flip the page. “That’s his mom and dad there; Elizabeth and Allen. She loved that kid more than anything.”

When your eyes met his, he heard the silent question reflect within them. 

“I think…my brother loved himself more than he ever loved them…which is why it kills my nephew that Ava makes those digs at him about him being selfish.”

Your head hung as you kept looking through pictures, softly smiling at the images of Eddie laughing with his mother or making funny faces at his uncle while he was doing something outside of the trailer. When you got to his high school photos, you fingers traced his face that seemed bright and hopeful. 

Him playing his guitar or D&D with his friends had a grin stretching wide but they didn’t compare to the one he wore when he was holding his newborn daughter. 

“When he found out Ava was pregnant, he was terrified but that first time he held her he told me it was like all his worries faded away and he knew he would do anything for that baby.”

With every photo, Paige got older but Eddie’s smile and the unconditional love in his eyes never faltered. 

“I keep this one in the back for obvious reasons but…” Tilting over you, he flips through the pages and pulls out a couple of images you immediately recognize as a young Eddie and Ava. He looked as handsome as ever in what you assume was a wedding photo with him in a tux and her in a white dress vaguely hiding her little baby bump. “Everyone kept calling it a ‘shot gun wedding’ but my nephew shut them down quick. ‘No, I love her. That’s my girl.’ He never wanted her to feel like they were getting married because they ‘had to’.”

A couple more pictures were behind it with Eddie kissing her cheek and Ava gently smiling at the action while another had him hugging her but she seemed to be pushing him away even while donning a small grin. 

“These past few months, he’s talked about a new girl he met but he never said your name. He just said it was complicated. Y/N, you should hear the way he talks about you…I’ve never once heard him sound that way about her. He seems so much happier since he met you… After everything that boy has been through, he deserves you.”

You started to sob and Wayne pulled you to his side as he tried to comfort you. 

A knock on his door had him promptly standing to answer it and as soon as Eddie saw your face from the doorway, he flew past his uncle to sit beside you, tugging you into his chest as he pet your head. 

“What happened with Paige?”, Wayne asked as he leaned against the dresser across from you both. 

“I, uh, we couldn’t find her but I called her boyfriend who said he’d keep an eye out for her so I think she’s with him. If she really wasn’t there he would have said he was going to go look for her to. He’s a good kid like that…”, he answered. 

“Do you want me to stay, Ed?”

The man holding you sighs as he shakes his head. 

“Naw, you don’t have to. I’m sorry for today—”

“No reason to be sorry, son. I’m used to being the referee.”, he laughs as his eyes scan you both over. “You should take her home so you two can rest and talk.”

After hugging his uncle, Eddie clings to your hand as he guides you to his motorcycle and puts on your helmet for you. As he straddles his bike and starts the engine, your arms wrap around him tightly causing his head to turn slightly when he hears your sniffles. 

The entire ride to his apartment, he kept one hand on the bike handle and the other on your leg or the back of your palm around his waist. At every stop light, your hands would press against his chest as you squeezed him a bit harder like a little girl does with a teddy bear when she’s scared. 

You were dropping and he could feel that energy radiating from you. 

You were terrified you were about to be in the same situation you had been when you and your ex broke up; a place you never wanted to be again. 

You just wanted to feel safe. 

###################

As soon as you both entered his apartment, Eddie allowed his protective mode to fully kick in as he took off his suit jacket, rolled up his sleeves, and took hold of your hand to lead you to the bathtub. 

Your eyes remained downcast as you listened to him turn on the water and throw in all the smells he knew you loved. Placing himself on the edge, he gently pulled you between his legs and carefully removed your dress along with your undergarments, tossing them to the side. 

A tear rolled down your cheek and he caught it with his thumb as he caressed your face. 

Once the bath was ready, he guided you in before suddenly disappearing. Your sad irises searched for him but he came back fairly quickly, flashing you a hair tie and taking off his slacks so he could sit behind you. 

You hummed lightly as his fingers gently massaged your head, threading through your hair gradually as he took his time pulling it out of your face. 

Eddie’s heart broke as he listened to you try to contain your tears, sliding down into the warm water to softly kiss your skin while holding you in his embrace. 

“Oh, Eddie, your shirt and your—”

His index finger on your lips silenced as he shook his head. 

“I don’t care.”, he murmured, resting his chin on your shoulder. “All I care about right now is you.”

“Should you?”, you whisper as your vision clouds once again. “I know how much you care about your daughter. You lost so much time w-with her because of Ava… I don’t want to be the reason you lose her again.”

“Y/N, I gave up music to become a husband and father. I gave up boxing to work in a grungy mechanic shop to take care of my family. I gave up my reputation so my daughter could have a relationship with her mother. My dad and my ex-wife both gave up on me… I even gave up on myself for a while there…but then I met you.”

His calloused fingers firmly grip your cheeks, craning your neck so your eyes could meet his.

“I will NOT give up on you.”

Water splashes out of the tub as you turn around to straddle him as you cling your arms around his neck and push your face into him as you sob. 

“Everything’s ok, baby. I got you.”

When your bath became too cold, the metalhead rose to his feet to grab a towel and dry you off before doing the same with himself. As he began to walk towards his closet to get you a shirt to wear, you pulled on his wrist and shook your head.

Tossing a smirk your way, he walked you to his bed where you both crawled naked under the covers laying on your sides facing each other. 

“You said you loved me. Did you mean it?”

His brown eyes search yours for a moment before silently nodding. 

“I figured it was kind of obvious but I’ve been in love with you since I saw you from the ring.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t want to scare you. I have said it a few times but you were asleep.”

Scooting closer to him, you place your arm over his hip and run your fingers down his back while in return he does the same with you. 

“I love you, Eddie.”

As he places his forehead against yours, a heavy sigh escapes his chest as his eyes close. 

“Say it again, please.”, he whispers. 

Your lips hover near his and he whines slightly at the pleasurable feeling of your warm breath.

“I love you, Eddie Munson.”

The man practically growled as his mouth crashed to yours.

“I love you to, Y/N… so fucking much…you’re safe with me, baby, I promise.”

As his kisses became more passionate, you felt the needy energy between the two of you grow.

“Make love to me, Daddy…please.”

At your plea, he firmly pushed you onto your back, sliding one of his arms behind your head and pulling you closer to his chest. After lifting the leg that was closest to him over his hip, you whimpered at the sound of him licking his palm before stroking his spit along his shaft and gradually entering your core. 

While one of your arms circled around his neck, the other held his hand as he began slowly thrusting his cock deeper inside you inch by delicious inch. 

“Oh my God…”

“I got you, sweetheart. You’re my girl and I’m—fuck—I’m gonna take such good care of you.”

“I know, baby, I know.”

Eddie continued to whisper in your ear as his pace steadily hastened and your eyes rolled shut as you absorbed every word. 

“I love you, baby girl. I’m gonna buy you a nice house where Daddy c-can have you in every room. I’m…I’m gonna work hard so I can buy my girl anything she wants. I’m gonna take you on dates and show you off because you—mmph—you deserve to be seen.”

“E-Eddie…”

Your whine drives him crazy, licking the tips of his fingers and pressing them perfectly against your clit causing you to moan louder. The man’s nose grazes your cheek as he pants and you can’t help but keen into the beautiful sound.

“S-Say it again, Y/N.”

“I love you, baby. Fuck, M’gonna cum.”

“Daddy’s got you, honey. It’s ok, let go.”

Your body trembles as you moan his title, his fingers continuing to play with your clit as you come undone.

“That’s my good girl. My perfect girl.”

His large palm cups your breast as he chases his high and your lips connect to his as your tongues dance together. 

Pulling away slightly, his nose scrunches as he grunts and you feel his release paint your walls. 

“Are you ok?”

You nod, wincing slightly as he pulls his softening cock out of your pussy and you roll onto your side again to face him. Placing his hand on your back, he pulls you close once more and you can’t help but giggle as he places gentle kisses on your forehead down to your nose. 

“Y/N?”, Eddie whispers, his eyes still closed as he tenderly keeps caressing your skin, smirking cheekily when you respond with a sleepy hm.

“Will you marry me?”

###############

@dashingdeb16 @myherometalhead @micheledawn1975 @hardladyheart @chelebelletx @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @paleidiot @alphabetically-deranged @sophiejayne-illustrations713 @yesimabratandwhataboutot @idkwhattoputhere08 @gryffindorqueensworld @mewchiili @veemoon @heavenlyhorrors @twirls827 @jamiecb66 @chelebelletx @longpondlibrary @friendly-neighborhood-ghoul @hellv1ra @utterlyinsanity @eddiesclub @wiinterwiidow @stylesxmunson @daveythorntonslocker @eddiesguitarskills

[olderthannetfic]

I wish I could figure out why so many people seem to have a hidden "Everything is secretly code for SA" complex but by the Deer lord, it's getting obnoxious.

Imagine me, writing a scene where my character has a bonus limb cut off. Monster biology, for ease of explanation, imagine a monsters tail or wings.

I very explicitly mention that he has this body part cut off, that this is the only thing that happens, and that it's an incident in his life that deeply traumatized him. He suffers from phantom pains, and even after years he still hasn't gotten used to this body part being missing. Blahblahblah.

If I got a penny for every time someone said he was SA'd, that I (on purpose) wrote a SA story, that I clearly wanted to write an SA story (but didn't have the guts), or people calling me out for fetishizing SA, it'd maybe have a handful of pennies.

No. YOU are the ones reading that into my story. I mean I can't stop you, but don't pin your interpretation on me. You're the guys who're being hit in the face with me mentioning numerous times about the cutting off of his appendage and the trauma he suffered from it. I'm not exactly writing between the lines here. In this case, the curtains are just fucking blue.

I'm wondering if people just have an inability to see how strongly other kinds of physical and mental abuse can traumatize people, and thereby characters, unless it's specifically SA related. As if the only true trauma you can suffer from as a victim of abuse is the SA kind. I'm not even mad that people care so much about SA, but I do wonder if people just don't see other types of abuse as legit enough or "tamer".

Oh yeah, this guy has an entire limb cut off, and is now suffering chronic consequences and deep seated trauma... but you know? That is clearly code for SA because nothing is worse than that, and now we're going to be mad at you because of our own interpretation upsets us.

--

[altarecs]

note: welcome back to altarecs! we're reviewing in depth tonight, fellas. strap in.

today's fic is actually by a dearest friend of mine. shall we?

spoilers under the cut!

notes before reading: POSEIDON THIS PU-*gunshot* also, i wrote a fic for this collaboration too! but anyway i digress. onward!

real as hell already, jessifer.

me either, chan!! sometimes i think about them

oh i'm already so sad...

ageism prevalent in the world of greek gods is CRAZY work but i see the vision.

i have no idea why this made me as sad as it did. it really shows how losing all you know, everything you have can change you as a person and warp your sense of self. it's kind of like losing yourself in the past while still trying to prevail in the present.

no clue what you're talking about, i'm never wrong.

mentions chan without mentioning chan is my favorite thing ever.

MY FAVORITE PLOT DEVICE EVERYBODY, KWON SOONYOUNG!!

this entire paragraph reminds me of the call of the void, actually. i feel the same.

OH I LOVE LEE CHAN I LOVE LEE CHAN LEE CHAN DO YOU NEED HEAD!

i do girl, give that application here.

me convincing myself that everyone isn't out to get me

girl fym 'thankfully'??! that's pookie! he's our endgame, idiot!

CLOCK HER, TIGER MAN!

oh lawd the goin' is gettin' GOOD.

goodness me...maturity does the soul good, doesn't it.

soonyoung, oh soonyoung...i love you so dearly.

GUYS IT'S SHERLOCK

I AM GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEETTTT AUAUAUAUA

still cutie patootie chan, after all. i love him so dearly, it's like that video of him at a photoshoot when he got shy after lifting up his shirt. i love himmmmm so BADDD FREE ME

that wasn't the question, chan. you're not slick.

circle time with mr. lee telling us stories is my new favorite thing.

something about it makes me think of that connect the dots meme

this one

anyway, i digress

OH YOU BITCH THEY KISSED

I LOVE A MAN THAT LIVES FOR VERBAL CONSENT I LOVE A MAN THAT ASKS FOR CONSENT I LOVE CONSENT

alright bro.

BLUSHES LIKE A SLUT? HELLOOOOO LEE CHAN?

man i wanna come work at the aquarium too tf

yanno, i could feel the angst coming and yet i ignored it

butter me up and call me a biscuit bc i'm stupid as fuck for that

when did you meet my ex, jessifer???

YN IS ME YN IS MEEEE

WE'VE REACHED THE IMAGE LIMIT SO WE PROCEED IN INDENTS.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And that’s when it clicks. That’s when he realizes. You’re not just a reincarnated sea nymph. No, it’s much deeper than that. He knows your soul more intimately than he knows his own. He can’t believe that he didn’t see it right away. Can’t believe he’s had you in his bed for months now without realizing.

girl this is amphitrite, get with the program.

“Poseidon. The one true love of my life, yes,” he says. 

is this where we kiss again!! long lost lovers found each other across the time and space continuum!!!

She should have been given a say in her own life rather than treated like property by her father and the man who claimed to love her. 

ah yes. because we are somebody, not just some body. thank you for touching base on that.

Now, it just felt like she had been forced into a life she never wanted.

this makes me so incredibly sad for the both of them, and i've read and reread poseidon and amphitrite so many times.

There’s the sparks that always fly between you two.

sparks flyyyy it's like electricityyy

also funny because he's the god of the sea and sparks =/= water

Then, almost as if on cue, that whispering voice returns. It reminds you of how you felt when you first met Chan. Of the distaste you had without being able to place it.

we can never have nice things, can we? sigh...

a part of me feels really...i understand her. but thinking about the hurt that both of them have been through, and to think that she could potentially rip herself away from him after all of these conversations and all of these truths...where does that leave her? where does that leave him?

He’s incredibly sorry, but he’s going to be leaving for a while. He knows that it’s not fair to you, but it’s something that he’s got to do.

for some reason...i can hear 'the power of love' by celine dion playing in my head right now.

also, i've begun to tear up! yay!

It’s selfish, he admits, so incredibly selfish, but he can’t move forward with you, even if that’s what you want, without knowing more. He can’t watch as you age and he doesn’t. Can’t grow to love you more and more only to know you have an expiration date. It’s cold, he knows, to say it that way. It’s also the way he’s going to approach it. The whole letter is filled with apologies and acknowledgements followed by buts. 

seeing the route you took and comparing it to the route i made seungkwan and y/n take in my fic is so insane. we are so different and i love it, i love how your mind works.

'wherever you will go' by the calling is playing as i type this.

It seems like both of you have a lot to figure out before you see each other next.

i hate you for doing this to me.

ENDING NOTES:

This fic has made me incredibly sad, and I could physically feel my chest tighten and loosen up with every word. I wanted to understand mc, and while I do...I think I appreciate both of them taking the decision to search deeper for answers. Do I think maybe Chan could've done this face-to-face? Yes, of course. But then I'd also be hoping for a yearning, a begging scene of rekindlement, of "we can do this together, please don't leave me."

Well done, Jessifer. I love it.

as wild and untamable as the sea | l.c

pairing: greek god!chan x reincarnated sea nymph!f!reader genre: angst, romance, smut | reincarnation, fantasy, greek gods!au rating: explicit, minors DNI word count: ~15.8k warnings: mentions of past unhealthy relationships, (possibly inaccurate) greek mythology, lots of POV switches (but i don't think it's confusing) mentions of eating, explicit smut, multiple sex positions, unprotected sex (just don't), slight edging, overstimulation, fingering, oral sex (f. receiving), chan is strong and very in control, i think that's all but let me know if it's not

summary: Chan remembers everything. Every little thing that's happened to him since his days as one of the twelve Olympians. Poseidon to be exact. Even though he tries not to think about it now that he's living in modern times running a sad little aquarium, some memories are more vivid than others. Then, you stumble into his life and he can't explain the draw. You can't seem to figure out how this man is keeping an aquarium like this running when it seems like it's not that busy. Something about him really seems to put you off, despite the fact that he seems drawn to you. None of it makes any sense...until it does.

a/n: this is for the 13 Gods of Olympus collab that @beomcoups & @wooahaeproductions have been tirelessly working on. thank you so much for hosting this! i know this isn't the end for this couple, but i really needed to get this out into the world. if you want to know what happens next with them, let me know.

a/n 2: this is semi-unedited and i'm just throwing it out into the world but i'll come back. if you see anything glaring, no you didn't!

tag list: @illiadiaz, @syluslittlecrows, @yini-yang, @fancypeacepersona, @bitchlessdino, @newjihoonie, @tinyelfperson, @dokyeomkyeom, @miriamxsworld, @hongrizon, @klecksstorys, @gyuminusone, @aaniag, @straykidswhoo789, @kimseokgen, @beomesbabe, @haolistic, @vanishingboots, @harry-the-pottypus, @pyeonghongrie, @nuttywastelandmentality, @writingbarnes, @gyuhao365, @divinityyy, @dibidibidismynameisleeknow, @tusswrites, @cookiearmy

Another day, another dollar. 

Wasn’t that what the humans said about another day spent working at some mindless job? Despite all the years he’s spent blending into their world, Chan still doesn’t really understand the humans. Doesn’t really understand why they put up with so many things they seemingly hate. Doesn’t really understand why they waste their short lives on something that makes them miserable. But, in fairness to the humans, Chan has also never had to worry about the trivial things that come along with working like money, possessions, or a home. When you’re one of the original gods of Olympus and life is seemingly infinite, money isn’t really an issue. 

That’s who Chan was in another lifetime: Poseidon. The God of the Sea, among other things. At least, until Olympus fell. A painful thought that he usually tries to push from his mind.

In the early days after Olympus fell, Chan still went through life acknowledging who he was. He leveraged his powers for favors or for payment. He used his control of the water and everything in it to get him what he needed. But, the years went by and the Olympians became the stuff of myth. Of stories. The kind of characters that you read about in books. Only the most eccentric members of society continue to worship the Olympians as if they’re real. Which they are, Chan reminds himself. Or, they were. As the faith faded, so did the Olympians’ belief in restoring themselves to full power. One by one, they gave up the task of finding a way back until it was only Chan and Zeus left. Two of the brightest minds of Olympus. Even they had to admit their own defeat. 

Which leads to the present day. Chan has taken on a new persona, for the…well, he’s lost track of what number this one is. He’s just thankful for his ability to shapeshift into someone new whenever he needs to. Takes a new name every time, too. At first, he tried to keep in touch with his siblings and the other Olympians. That, too, fades over time. It’s been at least a century since he’s spoken to any of them. Though, occasionally, he’ll catch wind of something through the chattering of local sea creatures. Something that says at least some of them are still out there.

Chan sighs. There’s really no reason for him to be wandering down memory lane in this way. He thinks, not for the first time, that maybe he needs to pick a different cover job. One that will keep his mind a little more occupied. The reality is, though, he’s tried nearly everything he could think of over the centuries. Changing professions is a frequent occurrence when he doesn’t want to let his body show too many signs of age. Not that he minds, it’s just that people start to ask too many questions about how he’s handling things someone “his age” shouldn’t be able to handle. In the end, working with sea life has always been the best. And this set up, where he’s running a smaller aquarium off of some long forgotten boardwalk in an area that doesn’t get much traffic, is also great. It isn’t even that Chan doesn’t like being around people. He finds humans entertaining in most senses. It’s just that nothing in this life is permanent for him. He’s not going to fall in love and grow old with someone. Best to just keep things at arm’s length. 

Most days are more or less the same and Chan works the majority of them. On the rare days off, he’s not far away since his little house is within walking distance of both the aquarium, the boardwalk it’s on, and the water. He trusts the limited staff that he has because he pays them well. Better than any other similar business, but he values loyalty. And they don’t seem to question how he’s able to make things work. That is largely due to the anonymous donors that make monthly contributions to the aquarium. Really, it’s just Chan funneling money that he’s earned over his many years on Earth so that he can keep a business afloat. Nobody seems to have anything to say. Beyond the staff not asking questions, they are all very good at their jobs. It makes life easier for Chan that way because he doesn’t have to micromanage them. Everyone knows what they’re supposed to do and will only ask questions if they hit an actual block. No, the aquarium runs very smoothly. It just doesn’t get a lot of business.

Since every day kind of blends together, Chan almost never realizes as days or weeks or even months pass by. He’s in a sort of autopilot where he also knows what he has to do and just does it without question. It’s just rinse and repeat day in and day out. 

Until it’s not. Until the first day that he notices you in his small, out of the way little aquarium. Until the day that everything starts to change.

You’re not really sure what pulls you in for the first time. You’ve probably passed this sad little aquarium dozens of times without giving it a second thought. Then, one day, you decide that you might as well go in. The cost of admission is incredibly reasonable, but you think that’s probably why you haven’t gone sooner. It might seem counterintuitive. You just wonder how well the animals can be taken care of with such a low cost of admission.  You’re not sure if you can handle seeing animals mistreated. Still, there’s no going back now. Even with the outside seemingly a little poorly cared for, you still find your feet pulling you forward. 

You’ve never been more wrong about anything in your life. 

The dingy outside gives way to a vibrant inside that’s teeming with love and light. The art on the walls is carefully curated to match the different areas of the aquarium. There are workers with genuine smiles going about their days. Even the animals seem to be happy. It’s also deceptively large on the inside. It makes you wonder why it looks so run down from the outside. Surely, someone that cares this much about the animals could care a little more for the outside as well. Maybe that’s the point. Why waste money on an outside nobody really cares about when it can go to the best care possible?

Almost immediately, you feel a sense of peace wash over you. Just this morning, you were ready to explode from all the stress in your life. Now, stress feels like the furthest thing from your mind. In fact, you can’t even remember what you were stressed about. Strange. This is the first time you remember a single place erasing any sort of worry. Just as you’re about to consider that the place holds some kind of magic, you realize that not everyone seems to be as at ease. A mother scolds her child and an elderly couple bicker. It breaks a little bit of the illusion, though you still feel calm. 

Subconsciously, your feet carry you to the area with the sea otters. They have always been some of your favorites, even if they’re not the typical sea resident that people think about. As you watch on, two chase each other around the enclosure. They seem like they must be young with the way they can’t seem to stop playing. It’s incredibly endearing to watch. Another, slightly larger, otter emerges from around a bend and the original two quickly dip under the water to shoot off. It almost seems like a mother scolding her children, but maybe you’re creating too many stories within your own mind. Your imagination, especially around sea life, can be a bit active.

A few minutes later, a worker comes out and starts feeding all the otters. They’re quick to come and get the food, showing just how many there are. You weren’t expecting to see such a large population in this off-the-beaten-path aquarium. The man feeding them looks young, but that’s true of nearly everyone that you’ve seen here. They all look young and entirely too pretty. This man is no different. He’s sporting a very blond, shaggy semi-mullet that doesn’t look like it could possibly be his natural hair color. Yet, it looks remarkably believable on him. When you frown at the amount of food he’s giving to the otters, he walks over to the side of the enclosure and leans on the railing close to you. He tosses a bucket of crab legs out into the water and the otters go crazy for that. It seems an odd choice for animals living in captivity, but what do you know? 

“Did you know,” the man begins, “that sea otters eat 25% of their weight in food every day?” 

Well. That certainly explains it. “I didn’t.” 

“I like to give them the crab legs too because it’s a fun little activity for them,” he carries on with a smile. “It’s also something they’d eat in the wild.” 

“That seems…expensive,” you say carefully. 

The man only smiles bigger. “Oh it is! But our boss has really great donors for the aquarium and we can afford to feed them well.” 

“Well, then the otters are definitely lucky,” you note and turn back to the otters.

“We all are. Chan takes care of us just as well as all the animals that live here,” he says. 

“Chan?” you ask. 

“Oh, our boss,” the man carries on happily. “I’m Soonyoung, by the way.” 

You take his extended hand and give your own name in response. Soonyoung happily carries on with telling you all about the otters they have, including the name of each one. Then he offers to take you on a tour of the aquarium because of your interest. It’s too nice of an offer to turn down. It also further proves that you should not judge a book by its cover. Every inch of the aquarium is so masterfully cared for and every living being seems happy. That is, if a fish can also seem happy. The tanks aren’t overcrowded or dirty. And, you can’t explain it, but you can just tell they’re happy. Each person that they encounter seems to genuinely love their job. You’re not even sure why you’re paying such close attention. Or why you care so much. 

Truthfully, there’s always been something of a call to the ocean. A peace that comes over you when you’re near the water. It was enough to get you to move cities, figuring that would satisfy that need. The pull only got stronger. Plenty of people feel at peace surrounded by water, you reason, and don’t think further on it. You don’t consider that worrying about the conditions in an aquarium may not be normal. Don’t consider that most people don’t start getting moody when they’ve been separated from the ocean too long. Don’t consider that it really is only the ocean. Although sometimes a freshwater lake, when it’s big enough with plenty of fish in it, will fill up your cup, it never lasts as long. It also never works to alleviate your mood when you do something as simple as going into the pool. 

The trip around the aquarium with Soonyoung seems like exactly what you need. Until suddenly, it doesn’t. As he’s taking you through an exhibit area, a young man appears from behind a closed door marked as Staff Only. He’s got a dress shirt on with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows. His short dark hair highlights striking features. And, you think, he would be beautiful if it weren’t for the frown on his face. He looks entirely too serious for someone so young. He’s also much more dressed up than anyone else at the aquarium.

“Oh, there he is!” Soonyoung exclaims, causing the man to turn towards the two of you. His face softens a bit at seeing Soonyoung before studying you somewhat quizzically. 

“Soon,” he says with the air of someone exasperated at Soonyoung’s antics. 

“This is Chan, our boss,” Soonyoung carries on and your eyebrows fly into your hairline as he introduces you to his boss. 

Truthfully, Chan looks younger than Soonyoung in some ways. But, there’s a wisdom in his face that your new friend lacks. Like he’s lived a hundred lifetimes already. It catches you off guard. But, Chan extends his hand to shake yours and that’s when you feel it. A sudden surge of annoyance that lasts only as long as your hands are connected. If he feels anything, he doesn’t show it. His smile is friendly and it only confuses you further. 

A moment later, Chan excuses himself from the pair of you and Soonyoung leads you away to continue the tour. You can’t really shake the odd feeling you got from the handshake, though. When Soonyoung concludes his tour, you ask about opportunities to volunteer. There’s something about this place that feels like home and you’re not really sure what it is. Soonyoung’s face brightens. 

“Chan doesn’t believe in volunteers. Even if you only come in once a month, he pays you for your time and obviously waives the entrance fee so you can come visit even when you’re not working,” he says with a bright smile.

“Oh, I don’t need a job…” you start before he waves you off. 

“Leave me your contact information and I’ll pass it on. He coordinates everything himself and he can go over it all with you. I’m sure he’d be happy to have another animal lover around here,” Soonyoung says with a smile that you can’t ignore. You just met this man, why are you already incapable of saying no to him? 

“Do you have some paper?” you ask.

Chan spends the rest of the day thinking about you after a simple handshake. Then, when Soonyoung tells him that you’re interested in helping out, his pulse races in a way that’s entirely foreign to him. He can’t remember the last time a human turned his world upside down with something so seemingly trivial. In fact, he was so focused on keeping his face neutral, he didn’t notice the look on your face in response to him. He’s too concerned with seeing you again to consider anything else. Too consumed by the need to unravel whatever mystery there is to you that he can’t seem to place. Honestly, Chan can’t remember the last time he felt anything even approaching this. Nothing makes him really feel in this way. Not anymore, at least. He finds himself counting down until your first shift.

Until it actually gets here, that is. 

You report to Chan’s office, just as he asks. He holds his breath as you cast your eyes around his office area. Wonders what you’re thinking when your gaze lingers on certain things within the office. For a second, Chan considers whether it seems human enough. It’s been nearly a year since anyone new joined the staff and he wonders if he’s gotten sloppy. Nothing in your face seems to give any sort of feeling away. It surprises Chan a bit that he can’t seem to read anything about you. When your eyes rest on him, he sees a flicker of something he can’t place. Something that looks an awful lot like annoyance. 

He confirms it when his hand accidentally grazes yours to hand over your new ID. It says volunteer since you insist on only being there when you have the time, but it’s a full ID anyway. That’s just how Chan does things. When his hand meets yours briefly, he gets the sharpest flash of irritation he’s ever felt. It’s confusing because it is definitely not his own emotion that he’s feeling. And that’s not something that Chan can remember happening before either. Not like this at least. 

Chan has powers, he knows that. He can, sometimes, tune into the emotions of others. It’s easiest when he’s trying to tune into a sea animal or someone at home in water. Back before Olympus fell, he was able to tune into the emotions or even the minds of all the creatures in the sea, like the sirens, sea nymphs, merpeople, and everything else you could imagine. Even then, he usually has to actively try to tap into those emotions. It’s not something that just…happens. Not when all he’s done is let his hand graze someone else’s. Not when he’s not actively trying to feel something. It shouldn’t be something that happens with a mere human, either. 

You, for your part, don’t seem to realize there’s anything out of the ordinary. Your face looks the same. The same annoyance that you’re trying your hardest to mask under a poor attempt at indifference. Trying to shake it off, Chan calls for Soonyoung to come into the office. But, that doesn’t make it any better. It’s worse, really, because your face immediately changes into one of genuine happiness. Soonyoung seems just as happy to see you and happy at the prospect of showing you around. To be fair, Soonyoung always seems happy when there’s someone new around for him to chat with. Still, your face lighting up for him frustrates Chan in a way he can’t explain. 

Your first few times volunteering at the aquarium go really smoothly. Well, once you’re handed off to Soonyoung, it’s smooth. There’s just something about your new boss that you can’t really put your finger on. Seeing him causes annoyance to flare within you. It’s something deep that you can’t really explain and can’t recall feeling before. There’s no reason for you to dislike this man. He’s really just a man, which shouldn’t be enough on its own. Whenever he’s around, he’s perfectly friendly. It’s obvious that he cares deeply for every living thing within the aquarium. This is something he’s incredibly passionate about, which should endear him to you. Yet, it doesn’t. You can’t recall ever disliking a fellow animal lover until now. 

Thankfully, you don’t really have to deal with Chan very often. Soonyoung handles your training when you’re working, but everyone that works there seems kind. And everyone seems young. The place is full of bright-eyed 20-somethings who all genuinely seem to want to be there. It contributes to that little nagging feeling in that back of your mind that something is just…off. Not with anyone that works there apart from Chan, though.

Soonyoung seems delighted to see how quickly the otters warm up to you. Apparently, they can be a bit picky with new people. But, the first time you meet them, they all flock to you instead of their normal handler. Anyone else might be frustrated. Instead, he only thinks it’s cute that they seem to love you. Tells you that he thinks he means you're a good person. Apparently, he often judges people based on how the animals react. You both have that in common. It only seems to reinforce the point when this happens with each new enclosure you go to. None of the animals seem to treat you like a stranger. It’s more like they’re greeting an old friend. You can’t really explain that you feel the same way. Your brain periodically supplies a story for some of your new animal friends, too. It’s not the first time it’s happened and you figure it only makes sense in this setting. Your imagination is active and you love the sea creatures.

Each new visit to the aquarium seems somehow better than the last. Well, in most ways. You often feel Chan’s gaze on you before you even look over at him to check. And each time he is actually looking at you. There’s something that just sets your nerves on edge about it. Even the animals around you seem to react to the sudden surge of anger that courses through you. It’s a strong physical reaction without any clear reason that you can figure out. Yet, it’s the way you feel every time you sense his attention on you.

“You good?” Soonyoung asks, eyes cast down at your hands balled into fists. 

“Yeah, sorry,” you apologize, turning back to him. “What were you saying?” 

“What’s going on with you and Chan?” he asks skeptically. 

“Between Chan and me?” you ask with clear surprise.

“Yeah,” he says. “He spends half the time you’re here watching you and…” 

“He does, doesn’t he?” you ask, a little too loud. “What’s up with that?” 

“What’s up with your hatred for him?” he asks instead.

“I don’t know, I just get a bad feeling,” you say after a moment. “Do you like him?” 

“Do I like the boss that overpays me to hang out with animals all day?” he asks with a laugh. Then, he looks at your face and carries on. “Oh, you’re serious. Yeah, I love Chan. None of us really know him that well because he keeps his distance from the staff outside of work, mostly. But, he’s the best boss I can imagine having. I don’t ever get bad vibes off him.” 

“Huh,” is all you say before turning back to whatever Soonyoung is teaching you.

Your eyes catch on the mysterious aquarium owner once again and that anger flares. But, you realize that it’s something more complicated than anger. It’s far too complex an emotion to put a name too and definitely too complex for someone you barely know. 

It’s just odd you think, not for the first time, that someone seemingly so young is running an aquarium that doesn’t seem to be that busy. How is he affording to take care of the animals and pay his staff so well? How is someone that seems so unlikeable able to convince so many donors to give money when it could be better spent elsewhere?

The nagging voice in the back of your mind reminds you that you seem to be the only person that doesn’t love Chan. Everyone on the staff seems to love him. The few donors his staff have met also seem to only have good things to say. You have to consider the possibility that your feelings about him could be personal or that you’re seeing something that doesn’t impact anyone else. It’s still weird, though. Nothing about this business model should work. Is that a reason to hate someone you don’t actually know? You’re not sure.

Chan speaks with a dolphin that he’s grown to trust. No, not Chan. Poseidon. He’s Poseidon again, in all his glory. And he’s asking the dolphin to find someone for him. He’s explaining where she might be and what to say to her when the dolphin finds her. Stressing how important it is that the dolphin is the one to find her because they’re not the only ones looking. There are others looking as well and Poseidon doesn’t want them to find her. It would be bad, he knows, if anyone but himself or someone working on his behalf were to discover the truth. He’s protecting her as much as he’s protecting himself. At least, that’s what his brain insists. Whether it’s true or not, well…

The scene blurs and shifts. Poseidon is once again by the sea and this time speaking to a giant squid instead of the dolphin. The squid tells him that the woman has been found. That the dolphin succeeded and is currently speaking to her. That brings Poseidon a small sense of relief. Surely, when she understands the situation, she’ll be not only willing to come home but happy to do so. Nothing can keep them separated any longer. They are truly meant to be. 

Again, the scene blurs and shifts. This time, Poseidon sits on his throne, trident in hand, while one of his brother’s messengers kneels before him. When she rises, she delivers the message that Zeus has requested for Poseidon and his bride-to-be to join himself and Hera for an upcoming event. That’s not good, Poseidon thinks, not good at all. Surely his brother isn’t fully aware of the situation and yet he sends his messengers with invitations like this. Just as Poseidon prepares himself to make an excuse, the door to the room opens. Usually, he doesn’t allow interruptions, as his guards well know. But, the sight of his love walking through with her head held high keeps him from scolding the guards. He cannot believe that she’s back and walking in as if nothing happened. As if it hasn’t been weeks since they last saw each other. He got word she was coming back, but had not dared to hope for this.

“I’m so sorry to interrupt, my love, but I heard your brother had sent an invitation,” she begins. The messenger won’t notice the hesitation or the emotions that pour off of her because she doesn’t have that gift. Poseidon feels it, though. It doesn’t put him at ease

“It’s fine. You are always welcome to hear anything shared here with me,” he says quickly. 

She turns to the messenger with her signature soft smile. “I would still apologize for interrupting your message. However, I heard that you were here with an invitation. I fear that my darling may have declined as I was recently suffering an illness.” 

“Yes, that is what I was about to do,” Poseidon agrees.

“There is no need for that as I have told you that I am feeling much better now,” she says with a brief, but calculated, smile at Poseidon. She returns to the messenger. “Please inform Zeus that we would be delighted to join him.” 

“I am thankful to hear you’re feeling better and to…see you with my own eyes,” the messenger says slightly suspiciously. 

“I am also thankful that I will get to see Hera. After all, we have so much to discuss with the upcoming wedding,” his bride-to-be says. 

With pleasant goodbyes, the messenger takes her leave and Poseidon excuses the guards remaining in the chamber. He indicates that his bride should follow him to a much smaller room off to the side so that they can speak. After all, there is so much to discuss after her running away and only to finally return. Yes, she had indicated to the messenger that she intended to go through with the wedding, but Poseidon needs answers. He needs to know why she left and to impress upon her that she could not do something like that again. 

Chan wakes up in the early hours of the morning in a cold sweat from the most vivid dream he’s had in centuries. The fact that a dream lingers at all is strange on its own. He doesn’t dream. Not anymore, at least. When he does, the subject is usually something inane and the remnants of it are gone by the time he’s fully awake. This dream is both vivid and lingering, seared into the back of his eyelids like it may never leave him. Perhaps it is because it’s not just a dream.

There’s a lot to Chan’s past that he wants to forget and for good reason. When he was one of the gods of Olympus, he made a lot of decisions that he wouldn’t make now. Or, he likes to think he wouldn’t make the same decisions now. It’s hard to remember the feeling of the weight of the world so many years later. But, he knows he did a lot of things in the interest of finding the greater good. Something that ruined some of his closest relationships and clearly still haunts him today. 

Which leads him to this dream. A dream of Amphitrite. The legends about the gods of Olympus over the years have gotten a lot of information both right and wrong. Unfortunately, the legend of Poseidon and Amphitrite seems mostly right, at least to Chan. She was the one true love of his life. The only being in the entire universe that he actually wanted to spend an eternity with. And he had not treated her the way he should have. Hadn’t appreciated her and respected her autonomy the way he should have. That’s something he thinks about now, as he continues to mature and evolve to understand all the mistakes he made once upon a time. He knows that the way he tried to hold onto her was wrong and that he worried entirely too much about what the other Olympians would think if he lost her. 

There’s also a part of him that lingers on the way she looked in the dream. He remembers that conversation because it actually happened. But, he’s not sure if he’s actually remembering the way she looked or the way he felt a tightness to his chest. That could just as easily be him looking back on the interaction through a different lens. There are so many things he wishes he could go back and change with her. So many things he wishes he could say. Mostly, even though he loved her more than he even loved himself, he wishes he could go back and give her the chance to walk away. To leave him without any sort of reprisal from the other Olympians. 

After all these years, he regrets how their relationship went. It wasn’t love when someone didn’t have options. He knows that he can’t change the past. He knows that he can’t even ask for forgiveness. It’s part of why he keeps himself from getting too close to anyone now, he thinks. As a sort of penance for forcing the only one he ever loved into a marriage that he can’t say that she wanted. Of course, she told him when she came back it was because she wanted to. Insisted that she was just nervous to be thrust into such a spotlight by his side. Says that she was worried because he had other relationships with other people and she saw how it affected other Olympians, like Hera with Zeus. That wasn’t who she ever wanted to turn into. Chan took her at what she said. It was only after he lost her that he realized it may not have been the truth. Their love may not have been the great story that he created in his head. 

He knows that he won’t be able to fall back to sleep, so he resigns himself to starting his day. After he gets ready, he sits down with a cup of coffee and his schedule for the aquarium. Today is the once per month visit from the local marine veterinarians. Although miraculously, it seems the animals never need much care, the vets still come in every month. They collect samples and run their tests to ensure that everything is going well as a general health study. They have staff that come over more frequently for some of the animals that need more consistent care. It’s also an excellent place to study since Chan allows them such complete access. 

That monthly visit isn’t what really catches his eye. Your name is on the schedule and Soonyoung has you listed as the person who will be working with the vets to make sure they have the help they need. It’s standard, really, and Chan knows Soonyoung will be around as well. That man can never ignore a chance to chat with anyone that comes through regularly. Chan also knows that Soonyoung trusts you. There’s just something about your name that sends his stomach lurching without an explanation. Sure, you haven’t exactly been the warmest in the interactions with Chan, but you’re good at the jobs assigned. It’s like there’s something just on the edge of his consciousness about you. Something just out of reach. A connection that he should be able to make and can’t. At least, not yet. 

Even though he’s going to be very early, he sets off for the aquarium and tries to shake the feeling that there’s something about you he should see. He’s never been very good when he can’t solve a problem. You may present his most complex puzzle yet. 

It’s one of the best days since you first started volunteering at the aquarium. Somehow this is the first time you’ve gotten to see the vets there for a full day and it even makes you extend your own shift. Well, it’s partially influenced by Soonyoung’s offer to buy dinner if you’re still there when he gets finished. Mostly, though, you’re just fascinated watching the vets do their work. It’s interesting to see how willing the animals are to be still for tests and how it seems like they know what to expect. You know that animals are smart and they can learn. There’s something a little different about this, though. Not only do they seem to actually see the veterinarians, but they also actively wait their turns to be seen. 

At the end of the day, you’re a little tired and feeling very accomplished at the same time. Maybe all of Soonyoung’s energy is actually infectious because you find that you’re ready to go get dinner with your friend after work. His presence is somehow calming to you even in all of the chaos. Once you make sure everything is done, you change into the spare clothes you have with you. The last thing you want is to smell like fish and whatever else got on you over the course of the day. Then, you go to find your friend. 

“Hey, are you ready for dinner?” you ask without realizing that he’s standing with Chan.

“You guys have plans?” Chan asks with curiosity, looking from you back to Soonyoung.

Soonyoung looks incredibly apologetic. “I’m so sorry, but I completely forgot that it’s roomies night in and I can’t skip it because I missed the last one.” 

“Oh, that’s fine,” you say quickly and wave it off. 

“You should come! We always have a bunch of appetizers and stuff. I can’t remember what movie it is tonight, but it’ll be fun!” he says, as enthusiastic as ever. “I know I offered to buy dinner tonight…” 

“I appreciate it, Soonie, but I think I’m just going to get dinner and go home,” you say. “I’m going to hold you to your dinner offer, though.” 

“I was actually just about to go get something to eat myself,” Chan interrupts and you narrow your eyes. “I would be happy to get dinner for you as well as a thanks for everything you’ve been doing here.” 

“I don’t want to make…” you start, only to have Soonyoung cut across you.

“That’s so nice of you, Chan,” he says and turns to you. “You should go! He’s got the best taste in restaurants. I still think about the last time he took all the staff out.” 

“It’s really fine, I can just get something on my way home,” you say. 

“I insist,” Chan says with something unreadable on his face. “Please. Let me say thank you for jumping in so completely.” 

“Yeah, what reason could you have to say no?” Soonyoung asks with a smirk. That’s the other thing about your new friend. He can be such a shithead when he wants to be. Of course he’s using this to needle you about your dislike of the boss. It comes up at least once every time you’re at the aquarium (and plenty of times when you’re texting outside of work).

You sigh, knowing that there’s no easy way to get out of this. “Okay, let me just get my things and I’ll meet you at the entrance.” 

The walk from the aquarium to Chan’s favorite restaurant is outwardly quiet. It’s not entirely uncomfortable to walk in silence with you. Or, it wouldn’t be if your emotions weren’t screaming into the silence. The general annoyance that seems to be present any time Chan is in the same space as  you comes through loudest. There’s more now that it’s just the two of you outside of work now, too. He feels a kind of anger and distrust coming off of you along with confusion about why you feel any of these emotions. It takes time to separate that as your own confusion because Chan’s also confused. The two of you barely interact at work and yet your distaste for him rolls off of you in violent waves, like an angry ocean. It’s the only time he’s felt something like this from someone at work. Everyone else seems to like him at the very least. Something about you is very different. 

Thankfully, it’s harder for Chan to sense you once you get into the restaurant. It’s a little busier since it’s a weekend, but you still get seated right away. If you’re impressed with how Chan greets the staff like old friends, you don’t show it. Just sit down in the chair and accept the menu with a smile before disappearing behind it. Suddenly, this doesn’t really seem like the best idea. What does it matter if you don’t like him? 

“You don’t like me,” Chan announces a second later. He never has been able to let a mystery go unsolved. He’s also always prided himself on being able to work out a puzzle. He tries not to ever be as arrogant as his brother, though. 

That makes you peer across the table at him. When he thinks you’re not going to answer, you blurt out: “No, I don’t,” and seem genuinely surprised.

Chan chuckles and looks back at the menu. “At least you admitted it.” 

“I really don’t know why I just said that,” you carry on, setting your menu down. 

“Is it not true?” Chan asks. 

“No,” you say and that makes Chan raise his eyebrows. “I mean, it is true. I don’t really like you. I’m just not sure why…”

“Why you said it? Or why you don’t like me?” he presses.

“Both,” you say with a shrug. 

“Can I ask you something?” he wonders.

“You can,” you say. “I’m not gonna promise to answer if I don’t want to.” 

“That’s fair,” Chan says with a smile. “Why do you volunteer at the aquarium if you don’t like me?” 

“I like to be around the animals,” you say immediately. “I feel at peace.”

“You misunderstood part of what I was asking,” he says. Your eyes are wide. “Why not let me pay you if you don’t like me? You could be making money instead of offering your time for free.” 

That actually makes you laugh. Not a fake polite laugh, one of the real laughs he hears when Soonyoung gets you going. It’s a beautiful sound and it instantly reminds Chan of something. Or someone. He’s not really sure beyond wanting to hear it again. 

“You’re kind of funny. I’ll give you that,” you concede. 

“I’m glad you think so,” he says, eyes still glued to you. 

“I don’t know why it doesn’t feel right to take money for working at the aquarium. It just doesn’t,” you shrug. “It’s the first time in my life that I’ve ever really felt like I was where I’m supposed to be and I probably sound crazy saying it. But, I get to the aquarium and my brain gets quiet and it’s like a weight lifts off my chest.”

“You don’t sound crazy,” is all Chan can say for a second. 

He’s looking at you differently now and he’s not even concerned if you realize it. It’s like something clicks for him. Like he finally pinpoints what it is about you. Of course he didn’t realize at first. It’s so unbelievably uncommon that he never thought to look. But, there’s no denying it. The way you are around the aquarium, the way you seem to slot in like you’ve been there all along, the way he can read your emotions without trying. 

This isn’t your first life. He’s only seen it a handful of times since Olympus fell. The main gods of Olympus, like himself, were able to seek refuge on Earth. Other beings were not so lucky. Many managed one or two reincarnations, but more still just…ceased to exist. It’s something he and some of the others spent a lot of time working through in the beginning. It’s been over two hundred years since Chan came across a reincarnated soul. Yet, here you are. Sitting before him. There’s no mistaking it. Once upon a time, you had been a sea nymph in Olympus. Everything clicks into place when he acknowledges that. He knows the sea nymphs as well as he knows himself. It seems impossible that he wouldn’t recognize all the signs and mannerisms. Then again, he hasn’t come across a reincarnated sea nymph in a very long time. Centuries. 

“Are you okay?” you ask after a few moments. 

“Yeah, sorry,” he says and shakes his head. This isn’t the place to try to process this. “I just haven’t met anyone that could relate to the way I feel in a long time.” 

“You don’t think I’m crazy?” you ask, voice thick with hope. It’s the first time he’s been around you without feeling any negative emotions. 

“Not at all,” he assures you. “I should have known that you understood as well. I felt like you were a kindred spirit, but…”

“I’ve been cold?” you offer with a light laugh. 

“Cautious, I would say,” he disagrees. 

“Maybe we should just start over,” you suggest and that makes Chan smile. 

Dinner actually gets much livelier from there on out. Realizing your past allows Chan to entirely change his approach. Without saying anything before you’re ready, he lets his guard down. In doing so, he hopes that some part of you will realize the connection runs deep. It seems to work, even if it’s only a little. Curiosity becomes the most prominent emotion and he capitalizes on it. 

Chan is able to suggest some of the dishes that he really likes before you ask if you can just get a few things and share them. You’re asking questions about the aquarium and his life that he tries to answer in a way that sounds honest without inviting follow up questions. Instead, he finds himself wanting to know more about you. Despite your initial reluctance to talk too much about yourself, he gets you to open up to his questions. Each answer you give draws him in further. Gives more of a glimpse into you as a person. Nothing feels too small to learn. He wants to map each of your reactions to things you actually love to things that seem difficult to speak about. 

Before either of you realizes it, it’s been over two hours and the restaurant is starting to wind down. Of course, nobody rushes you since Chan knows everyone there by name. But, you still insist it’s probably best to head out. Surprisingly, he’s still only picking up on warmer emotions from you now and maybe that makes him a little bolder. 

“There’s this really great ice cream shop just a little walk that way,” he says as you’re exiting the restaurant. 

The sideways look you give him leaves him wondering if he’s misread the situation. Then, you’re smiling like you know a secret. “I’m shocked you eat dessert.” 

“Are you…are you checking me out?” he splutters. Very little manages to catch him off guard and you have him stumbling over a simple question. 

Without answering, you just laugh and start walking in the direction he indicated. When he doesn’t immediately follow, you look over your shoulder and call out to him. “Well? I thought we were getting ice cream.”

“You can’t just say shit like that and expect…” he starts as he hurries to catch up with you.

“Expect what?” you ask, actually poking out at his side. “I would bet my entire life savings that I’m not the first person to check you out.”

“Oh, so you were checking me out,” he says like he’s just won. 

“I think that’s only fair with how many times I’ve already caught you checking me out,” you fire back, effectively wiping the smug look of Chan’s face. 

It’s been a long time since someone challenged him the way you seem to. Now that you’re talking openly, it feels like he’s known you for years. There’s a comfort that he can’t remember feeling in centuries. It feels like you just implicitly understand a piece of them that he tries to hide in any other situation. 

Something whispers from the back of his mind, like a tickle of familiarity. He ignores it, though, in favor of getting to know the incredibly interesting person before him that doesn’t seem to hate him anymore. 

After having dinner with Chan, you start to look forward to your shifts for an entirely different reason. Yes, you still get the peace that comes along with being around so many beautiful animals and so much water. You also get to feel the pleasant shift of feelings when Chan is around. Instead of feeling like something gnaws at your consciousness, now you feel a warmth coursing through your body. It’s a little strange, too, because it’s like nothing you’ve ever felt before. 

Soonyoung notices the way you and Chan gravitate towards each other now and says nothing despite the knowing smile. You don’t have to ask him to know that he thinks it’s down to him insisting you get dinner together. He doesn’t comment, though, and you’re not going to give him the satisfaction. It’s hard to stop yourself from smiling, even when that makes Soonyoung smile even harder. It’s like he wants all the details of something that you don’t have many details on. At least, not at first. 

Hanging out with Chan outside of the aquarium becomes a regular thing, even on the days that you don’t go in. Each of you shows the other your favorite places in the area and you find yourself looking forward to that time more than anything else. Once or twice, you even consider asking Chan if he’s got a more full time position for you at the aquarium. You don’t quite realize you’re not living fully until something like this happens and so much more of life opens up before you. For now, though, you’ll settle for dragging him to a couple of food trucks that you love. He looks entirely out of place in his slacks and dress shirt, though at least he’s rolled up his sleeves. 

“So when are you going to come work with us full time,” he asks after sitting down with his food in front of him. He doesn’t ask you to work for him. Even his phrasing is considerate.

“Oh, well, I…” you stutter out.

“You don’t have to, of course,” he assures you. “I’ve just never met anyone that’s better at it than you and you’re not even there that often” 

“I have been considering it,” you admit. 

“What’s holding you back?” he asks. 

You take a bite to give yourself a minute to think about the answer to that. What is holding you back? Admittedly, you’ve never felt more at ease anywhere else. It’s increasingly harder to leave every time your shift is over. You look forward to when the next one will be. Have even added extra shifts when you can fit them in. There’s a part of you that also looks forward to seeing Chan. Although, you know that you could see him whenever you wanted. He always seems to make time for you. 

“I don’t know,” you finally say.

“Well, there’s a position waiting for you if you ever want it,” he says with a look on his face that you can’t quite read. 

“Why are you so patient with me?” you ask.

“Because we understand each other,” he answers a little too quickly. 

“It’s more than that,” you press, feeling, for the first time, like he’s keeping something from you. 

Chan sighs and sets his food down. “It is, but this isn’t the place to discuss it.” 

That catches you a little off guard. Thinking that there was more to the story and having him admit it so easily were two different things. “You’re not secretly in love with me or something, are you?”

He laughs at the look on your face and it eases a little of the tension. “I don’t think it’s a secret that I love being around you.” 

“No, I guess that’s true,” you say with your own laugh. 

“You’re going to think I’m crazy, but I’ll tell you when we finish eating and we can leave. This kind of thing…well, it’s best to say to you somewhere that’s not so out in the open.”

That announcement surprises you, but it also excites you a little. It’s difficult not to rush through dinner, a fact that Chan picks up on and laughs about. Makes a joke about wanting to get him alone that has color rising on your cheeks. There’s an air of confidence about him despite whatever he’s going to share with you. It makes it a little easier for you to also be calm because it can’t be that bad. If it were bad, he would not seem so confident. 

After dinner, and a short back and forth, he takes you back to his apartment, which includes walking by the aquarium. Somehow, you’re still much more nervous than he seems to be. It seems like the most natural thing in the world for him to invite you back to see where he lives. He also seems quick to assure you that it’s not that he’s trying to get you alone. It just needs to be a space that is actually private. 

Despite any better judgment you may have, your curiosity is piqued. What is it that he has to say to you that others can’t overhear? Is he about to admit some crazy belief? Or tell you that somehow you were destined to meet? You’re not really sure what sort of comment might come once the two of you are alone, but you’re distracted the second you step into his apartment. It’s amazingly decorated. It feels both cozy and modern at the same time. It also feels so impossibly like him and the ocean combined into one. Maybe that’s saying the same thing. He does give you the impression of the water sometimes. 

Being inside of Chan’s personal space also feels surprisingly natural. He disappears off into the kitchen without a second thought and allows you to look around the space. When he returns, it’s with a drink for you as he encourages you to take a seat on his couch. It’s the most comfortable couch you’ve ever sat down on.

“How much do you know about the Gods of Olympus?” he asks without any preamble. Thankfully, you haven’t taken a drink yet. Otherwise, you might have spit it out.

“Like the stuff from mythology?” you ask. It’s so unexpected.

A little voice whispers in the back of your head asking if it’s really that unexpected. The truth is: you’ve always been incredibly fascinated by the myths. There’s a draw to them almost to the point of getting lost in them. But, are you going to admit that you’ve read all the books you could find and watched all the shows or movies? It’s only fantasy, really, when you think about it. You’ve bared a lot of your soul to Chan without meaning to. You’re not sure you want him to laugh at you about this. That same little voice comes back to ask if he would laugh. You’re not so sure.

“Not exactly,” he says with a knowing laugh. “You consume it though, don’t you? I can see it on your face.” 

“I - well, lots of people do, don’t they?” you ask noncommittally. 

“Not like you, I’d bet,” he answers, unbothered. 

“I guess it’s a bit of a guilty pleasure,” you finally admit. 

“I think it’s more than that,” Chan presses. 

“How can it be? They’re just myths after all,” you say.

“Do you believe that?” he asks and it’s like he’s challenging every one of your long held notions. 

“Chan, what did you want to tell me?” you ask.

“Let me tell you about Olympus as I remember it,” he says. 

“As you…remember it,” you say slowly. “Chan, what…”

“Just hear me out and let me tell you a story. You can decide afterwards if I’m crazy or if it makes everything fall into place,” he says. 

And he does tell you a story. It’s a story about the Gods of Olympus with more information thrown in than you’ve ever read in any story or seen in any movie. It’s at once more fantastical and somehow more believable than anything. There are parts that you recognize. Parts that seem to line up with the stories. And there are parts that feel entirely new. Parts that are deeply emotional and clearly difficult for Chan to say. You delight in the way his face lights up when he talks about the parties or living amongst the sea animals. Completely accept it at face value when he tells you about how his scouts used to be dolphins and how much he misses that. Your heart breaks when he talks about the fights with his siblings and the other Olympians. It all feels like you’re walking along beside him in his stories. 

It’s insane to think that any of this could be real. You keep telling yourself as you listen to the stories. But, it’s hard to remember that when you see the look on Chan’s face. There’s fondness when he talks about some of the sillier memories. Like he can’t believe that anyone was ever that ridiculous. There’s genuine pain as he tries to get through the more complicated parts. When it comes time to tell you about how Olympus fell, he chokes up. 

You believe him. It’s like something shifts and you can tell that he’s not crazy. He’s not delusional. He’s not on some crazy conspiracy theory. He was Poseidon once upon a time. The feelings of calm that you feel every time you walk into the aquarium wash over you. Like this is the only thing that’s ever made sense. That should be a little disorienting to take in all that information. Instead it feels like the most natural thing in the world.

Chan isn’t even done talking when you lean over and press your lips against his. You’re not even sure why you do it or if it’s the right thing to do. When you go to pull away, he puts his hand behind your head and holds you against him. Kisses you breathless like nobody has ever kissed you before. It feels instantly familiar and new all at the same time. Like something you may have done before. But, it also sends sparks flying through your entire body. 

“So, should I carry on with telling you how you fit into all of this?” he asks when the two of you break apart from the kiss. 

“Me?” you ask, still recovering from the impulsive act of kissing him. 

“Yes, you,” he says with a soft smile. 

“I’m just a person lucky enough to meet an actual god, what could I…” you start.

“You’re not just a person,” he contradicts with a frown.

“I’m not trying to diminish myself or anything,” you assure him, but he still shakes his head.

“Can I talk?” he asks without any exasperation, though you may deserve it. You just nod. “You’re not just a person. You’re…well, I’m not sure how it works, really. I’ve come across it so infrequently. You have the reincarnated soul of a sea nymph within you. Possibly even one I encountered in another life.” 

“How can that be?” you ask with wide eyes. “No, I’m just a normal person, I…” 

“If you think about it, it actually makes perfect sense,” he says and carries on.

It sounds so simple when he outlines it for you. He asks you about your connection with the ocean, talks about your instant familiarity with the aquarium and how at peace you feel. Points out that you never feel at peace in a swimming pool, though you’re sure you’ve never said that to him. He talks about your mood shifting when you’re away from the water for too long or the way that everything about the water just seems easier. He even laughs when you admit that once when you were on vacation, a dolphin came right up to you in the ocean and seemed like it wanted your attention. It’s also not the only time something like that happened. 

Everything starts to fall into place. It’s like decoding the last little cypher of your life up until that point and showing you memories in a different light. You wonder if you’ll be able to remember anything from being a sea nymph and Chan looks apologetic when he says he doesn’t think it’ll work like that. But, he admits he’s never gotten close enough to another reincarnated soul like this to fully be able to answer it. The excitement drowns out a small voice in the back of your head that’s urging you to move cautiously. Urging you to consider if all of this really sounds right. 

You can’t really help the way your bodies seem to be drawn to each other. Many more kisses follow now that the invisible barrier seems broken. When he’s not kissing you, Chan runs his hands along whatever part of you that he can reach. 

Eventually, you don’t really want to talk. It seems absentminded, the way that Chan runs his fingers along your arm or squeezes your thigh. It’s driving you insane, though, and you need to know if he’s feeling as bothered as you are. 

“How much are you paying attention to this conversation?” you ask.

“Uh…” he says, eyes widening a bit at the question. It’s the first time he’s looked remotely out of control. 

“You’re driving me crazy,” you whine and look at his hand gripping your thigh. 

That causes his look to change entirely. He’s not out of control anymore. Now he looks a bit smug. “Oh, I’m driving you crazy?”

“Yes,” you admit without a second thought.

“I thought you weren’t even sure if you liked me?” he presses and you huff out a breath.

“I already kissed you, Chan. I think it’s clear I’m not on the fence anymore,” you say.

“Maybe I should show you my bedroom,” he says and stands.

You take his outstretched hand without hesitation. “Finally.” 

The two of you get through the doorway into his bedroom and he doesn’t even bother pretending to give you a tour. He only turns around to face you, crowding your space and forcing you back into the doorframe. He takes your face in his hands and kisses you hard. It’s not desperate, it’s perfectly controlled. Nobody has ever kissed you like this before. At least nobody that you can remember. His body presses tight against yours until you’re gasping for breath. Still, he doesn’t let you relax. He’s proving a point. If you thought he was driving you crazy earlier, it’s nothing to this. 

You gasp into his mouth when he moves a hand to hitch one of your legs around his hip. Gasp again when he does the same to your other leg and he’s balancing you against the doorframe. It seems impossible that he’s this strong. Maybe that’s part of being a god because he also barely seems to lose his breath as he keeps kissing you. You’re not usually so content to let someone else lead, but it’s so easy with him. It helps that nothing is frantic. Even though he’s driving you crazy, you love that it doesn’t feel rushed. Love that he’s really taking his time with you.

It could be minutes that Chan kisses you or it could be hours and you’re not really sure if you would know the difference. When he sets you down, it feels like an immediate loss. At least until he pulls you towards the bed. Only his eyes give away how badly he wants you. They’re dark with lust that you’re sure your own eyes reflect back at him. 

“Is this still okay?” he asks, voice thick with desire. You nod. “I need to hear you say it.”

“Yes, Chan. I want this,” you assure him. 

Thankfully it’s the only reassurance that he needs. He gently pushes you back onto his bed and immediately gets to work pulling your clothing off you. His eyes drink in every mark on your body and for the first time, you’re not self conscious. You don’t feel like there’s something wrong with you and it has nothing to do with the way he looks at you. Though, it doesn’t hurt that his desire only grows as he peels your clothing off. No, there’s just this inexplicable comfort with him. That voice in the back of your head quiets. You’re not sure if it’s because you’re so in the moment or because this is actually right. You’re not really sure it matters. 

When Chan steps back from you, you have the briefest moment of insecurity. It’s gone the next moment when he starts to undo the buttons on his shirt. Actually, your entire mind goes blank. If Chan was beautiful with clothes on, it’s nothing to seeing him removing his shirt. You know that he can change his appearance at will and know that it’s how he’s fit into places this long. So, you know that it might not be entirely him, but you’re not sure you care. Your eyes travel over the scars he still has. Probably remnants of real scars over the years. Somehow the imperfections make him more perfect in your eyes. You’re so caught up in looking at the scars that you miss him removing the rest of his clothing until he’s approaching you.

“Sit back,” he instructs.

You do as he asks without even thinking twice about it. That, at least, makes a voice stir in the back of your mind. Makes you wonder why you’re so content to do as he asks. When he climbs onto the bed and settles between your legs, the voice goes quiet again. He peppers up your leg and down the other with feather light kisses. He doesn’t draw out the build up, though. 

Chan runs a finger carefully through your folds and it makes you shudder. He watches your body carefully as he does it again, like he’s trying to map your reactions to everything. Like he wants to know exactly how to make you come undone. It’s such a simple action that works you up. When he licks into your pussy, you think it’s your new favorite feeling. It makes your entire brain go fuzzy. You don’t even realize that you’re arching your back until one of his hands snakes up your stomach to press you back into place. 

It’s almost too much, the way he works you over. He’s constantly changing the pace and his movements. His mouth moves up to suck on your clit and his finger moves down to pump into your pussy in lazy motions. The contrast of the movements makes you squirm. When you feel like you’re getting close to an orgasm, he switches it up again and pulls you back from the edge. Over and over again. He keeps switching up his attention every time you feel yourself getting close. 

“Chan, oh my fucking god,” you groan. “I’m going to die if you don’t let me come.” 

“Well, you got one thing right,” he says, pulling away from your pussy. “I am a god.”

“I hate you,” you say without any heat.

He pulls himself up your body so that he’s hovering over you, entirely too close. You can see the way your juices cover his lips. He eyes you greedily and it’s the hottest thing in the world. It’s even hotter when he lets you pull him down on top of you and kiss him. You moan into his mouth when he ruts his hard length against your thigh. 

When he pulls back, you know that you lost whatever game you’re playing. “Doesn’t seem like you hate me.” 

“Just please fuck me,” you say, completely breathless. 

“Anything you want,” he says. 

You gasp when he leans forward again to capture your lips in a bruising kiss. Everything about him seems so in control. Yet, you can feel how much he wants you, too. It’s obvious that you’re not alone in wanting this and that he’s just better at controlling the situation. 

Somehow, as he’s kissing you, he manages to spread your legs apart underneath him. It’s embarrassing the way you chase his lips when he pulls back. Or it would be if you didn’t meet his eyes to see all the desire reflecting back at you. He repositions so that he’s between your legs again and lines himself up at your entrance. Chan runs his tip through your folds while he watches for your reaction. It’s all you can do to stop yourself from wiggling to urge him to work faster. Nothing he does is fast, though, and why would this be any different. Slowly, he presses himself into you. Even as you’re begging him for more, he inches into you instead of snapping his hips forward. 

Finally, after what seems like minutes (and is probably only seconds), he’s fully buried and it’s the best feeling in the world. Your fingertips dig into his shoulders as he adjusts his position. Then, he pulls almost all the way about before snapping back in and your mind goes blank again. Like nothing else exists apart from the two of you, the sound of his skin on yours, and the words shared between you. Praise spills from Chan’s lips as you’re just asking for more and more of him. 

This time, he doesn’t bring you right to the edge only to pull you back. He picks up his pace and has you coming so hard that you see stars without warning. You’re so thankful that you don’t immediately realize that he doesn’t pull out of you. He stills himself inside you and peppers gentle kisses all over your face as you work through the orgasm. 

He’s definitely not so gentle once the aftershocks work through your body. 

In one motion, he has you in his arms and in a completely different position. It’s a level of strength and speed you’re not expecting. You’re sitting up now and about to protest that you don’t have the energy to fuck him like this, when he does the work for you. Even though you’re straddling his lap, he plants his feet and thrusts into you. It’s a slightly slower pace than you’re expecting. Just enough that you feel the tension building, but not enough for it to do anything. At least for you. You’re not sure about Chan. 

You can’t help it. All you want to do is kiss him so that he knows how good this feels. Not that he really needs more of an indication. You think he can probably read your body pretty well. The first time with someone new is usually awkward. This has been anything but. He knows exactly what you need and just how far he can push you before it’s too much.

And that really does seem true. You’re just about to go into overstimulated territory when he changes the position again. You get the briefest of breaks for him to settle behind you. It could be as innocent as cuddling until he hikes your leg up and presses his length into you without warning.

“Chan, jesus fuck,” you cry out. 

“You’re being so good for me, baby,” he coos into your ear. “Can you be good for just a little longer?”

“Yes,” you pant. 

“Even if I fuck you hard?” he asks, experimentally picking up his pace.

“Yes, please, just…fuck,” you yell out as he snaps into you harder.

“So perfect,” he murmurs into your skin. 

His thrusts immediately get faster and you can tell he’s ready to stop dragging it out. He’s still doing more than his share of the work and it’s insane to realize how much stamina he seems to have. The new angle allows him to hit you deeper than before. You’re already so worked up that it’s not long before he’s pushing you into your second orgasm. This time, he follows right behind you, erratically thrusting as his breath stutters by your ear. 

He collapses behind you, but still holds you close against his chest. Your breathing matches his without even thinking about it. Neither one of you really needs to say anything to know that it was something completely unexpected. You can’t remember ever having better sex than with him. Leave it to Chan to ruin you for anyone else that could possibly try to come after him.

Eventually, Chan pulls himself out and off the bed. He holds out his hand to help you into the bathroom with him. You make a joke about how you don’t have another round in you and his smile is instant. His features go soft when he says he just wants to help you clean up. 

(That doesn’t hold true for the next morning since he insists you should sleep over. You may be incredibly sore afterwards. You also know that you don’t care. In that moment, you think you would let Chan fuck you senseless for the rest of your life without complaining. Who cares if you’re a little sore? You’ve never felt so connected to someone in your entire life. And he just happens to be one of the gods of Olympus.)

Things seem to fall into place quickly for you and Chan after he shares his past with you. It’s like the last two puzzle pieces in an absurdly complicated puzzle. One of those ones where the pieces aren’t in the standard square shapes. Yet, now that you’re perfectly slotted together, it’s like you’ve been that way your whole lives. The two of you are together more often than you’re not. Late nights exploring or staying up until the early hours of the morning talking. Lazy mornings wrapped up in the covers of the bed (where you actually get Chan to spend more time away from the aquarium than he ever has before). Chan doesn’t even really have time to overthink anything.

His biggest win comes when you finally admit that you’re ready to leave your boring job and come to work at the aquarium full time. That only takes a few weeks after he tells you that you were a sea nymph in a former life. He’s still even a little at the complete lack of pushback on it. You accept it just as easily as you accept that he was Poseidon once upon a time. And you’re not accepting it in the way someone does to pacify a crazy person. That much is clear with how much more time you spend anywhere that Chan is. Somehow, the rest of Chan’s staff doesn’t even seem to comment on how quickly you become inseparable. Soonyoung seems to be smiling even more than usual (a feat Chan didn’t think possible). But, otherwise everyone just accepts the new normal. Everyone seems thrilled to have you around more permanently and that makes Chan’s heart constrict. 

He doesn’t have time to think about any of it. Until he does, very suddenly, think about all the feelings you bring up in him.

Chan is careful with relationships. He’s friendly with his staff, but they’re not really friends (despite Soonyoung’s best efforts). He doesn’t get to know anyone at any of the places he shops or have any hobbies where he interacts with people. It can get lonely if Chan thinks too closely about it, but what is the alternative? People’s lives are finite, measurable. Chan’s is not. At least, it hasn’t been yet. There are no signs he’s slowing down over the many centuries he’s been through. Then there’s you. You who are very much human. Though, it’s been a long time since he’s come across another reincarnated Olympian. There isn’t a rule book for how those lives go and there’s never been one that Chan stuck by long enough to find out. 

The real question, though, is whether he’s willing to stick around this time to see how it works. Is he willing to risk everything only to figure out that you’re merely a mortal? That you’re going to fall victim, if you’re lucky, to the curse all humans succumb to? That’s if you’re lucky enough to live to old age and something else doesn’t happen before then. Human life is so fragile. It’s a lot to process. More so since he’s not really talking to you about how he’s feeling. 

You notice. Of course you notice. Chan starts to get a little more distant as weeks turn into months. He’s still physically present with you and he still tries to act like everything is fine. But, he can feel it in the shift of your moods. Doubt creeps in and he gets snippets of your feelings or even your thoughts. It isn’t fair and he knows that it’s not. He knows he has to talk to you instead of just acting like everything is normal. 

“Are you ready to talk to me yet?” you ask one evening when you’re sitting on his couch with your feet in his lap. 

He stops scrolling through something on his phone and looks over at you. Somehow, you always seem to know when it’s best to apply just a little pressure. Knows his moods and senses when he’s ready to talk about something. There’s no use in acting like he doesn’t know what you mean.

“It’s nothing you’ve done,” he starts and you smile.

“Oh, I know that,” you assure him. That makes him laugh. It’s you all over. 

“It’s just…I don’t usually let myself get close to anyone,” he starts and your eyebrows knit in confusion.

“Bit late for that, isn’t it?” you say with an attempt at a joke, though it doesn’t quite land.

“I think we both know you’re special,” he says quickly to reassure you. “It’s just…well, there’s a reason for that. Human life is so fleeting.”

“Ah, yes,” you say with a wry smile, “because you’re ancient.”

“Enough,” he chastises without any real heat. 

“Sorry,” you say and throw up your arms.

“I am kind of ancient, though. Not in this body since I’m always changing forms, but in mind. I’ve been around a long time and you…” he says and trails off.

“You’re so sure I have an expiration date?” you ask.

“You’re human,” he says simply.

“And also have the soul of a reincarnated sea nymph,” you remind him. As if he could ever forget. 

“I know,” he concedes. “But I don’t know what that means for your…”

“Life expectancy?” you offer. There’s something almost detached and also calming about the way you say it. “You can’t say for sure that I won’t live beyond a normal human life, either.”

“No, I can’t,” he says. “I’ve never wanted to stick around another reincarnated soul the way I can’t seem to let you out of my sight.”

“Doesn’t that mean it’s worth at least considering?” you ask. 

There’s nothing desperate or emotional about the way you approach the conversation. It’s all based in fact and the information in front of you. As much as you and Chan like to go out on dates, you also like to sit with him while he tries to do research. Both of you want to understand what your soul means for the rest of your body. You want to understand why sometimes he can feel your mood or even hear some of your louder thoughts. It’s fun when you can control it and send something disruptive towards Chan. Fun for you, at least. He doesn’t always appreciate the image of what you want to do to him while he’s trying to do something at work. 

So, you go through all the knowns with him again. Go over everything that you’ve learned. Go through the questions you have unanswered and where there might be more information. You talk things through logically in a way that feels familiar to him. Chan finds himself getting lost in his amazement at your brain and the way you process information. It’s also incredible to him to watch you work through a problem. It lulls him into a place that he hasn’t been in since…

And that’s when it clicks. That’s when he realizes. You’re not just a reincarnated sea nymph. No, it’s much deeper than that. He knows your soul more intimately than he knows his own. He can’t believe that he didn’t see it right away. Can’t believe he’s had you in his bed for months now without realizing.

“You’re not listening anymore,” you comment. You don’t seem upset, only curious. It’s like you want to know where his mind goes.

“No, I’m sorry,” he says and you wave it off. “It’s just, well, I figured out who you used to be.” 

“Uh,” you say, clearly missing a piece. “Yeah? A reincarnated sea nymph? We’ve already covered this.” 

“No,” he disagrees. That makes you raise your eyebrows. “Well, you are, but you’re also more than that. Your soul, it’s…”

“What is it, Chan?” you ask, full attention focusing on him. 

“I should have known. You feel so familiar, like I’ve known you for years,” he says and it’s like he’s talking to himself. “It’s not just some ordinary sea nymph’s soul…”

“Yes, because sea nymphs are so ordinary,” you say with a scoff. “Like people every day are just coming across sea n-”

“It’s Amphitrite’s soul,” he finishes and that stops you mid sentence. Your eyes lock onto his, wide and wondering. 

“Amphitrite? As in Goddess of the sea, most prominent of the sea nymphs and wife of…” she says and can’t seem to finish the sentence.

“Poseidon. The one true love of my life, yes,” he says. 

If you think anything of him referring to Amphitrite as the one true love of his life, you don’t say anything. You go into a contemplative silence. Like if you think hard enough, you may be able to remember her or the relationship with Poseidon. Who knows? Maybe you can. Try as he might, Chan can’t seem to think of a single instance where something like this has happened before. Doesn’t remember someone like Hera returning in this way. He also can’t think of any reason why you would return now, after all this time. Unless this is just the first time he’s found you. There are far more questions than answers. 

“This…changes things,” you say.

“Does it?” he asks. 

“Doesn’t it?” you immediately return. 

“I don’t know,” he admits. “It’s like it suddenly makes sense in a way I wasn’t expecting. But, it also feels…more complicated.” 

“Complicated, how? I mean, you were in love with Amphitrite and I assume she, or I, was also in love with you,” you say. “Doesn’t that explain this pull we have to each other?” 

“Our relationship was incredibly complicated,” he says softly. “I have…many regrets about how I handled things when it came to her. And I also can’t wrap my brain around her reappearing after so many years or what that means for you.”

“Why don’t we just start at the beginning? Tell me about your relationship,” you prompt.

“There are parts that were ugly,” he says without meeting your eye. 

The couch shifts and dips as you get closer to him. You lift his chin up gently so he’s looking at you. “The fact that you can admit parts were ugly or that you have regrets shows you’ve learned. So, tell me the whole story and then we’ll go from there.” 

So, he starts talking. 

It starts at the beginning. He was at a celebration when he saw Amphitrite dancing among the other Nereids, the daughters of Nereus, who was also known as the Old Man of the Sea. There had been other consorts before her, but he was instantly smitten. She symbolized everything beautiful and kind about the sea. Everything that he could ever want. So, he approached her father before ever approaching her and asked for her hand. Her father was, understandably, thrilled. It seemed like there was no better match than to allow Poseidon himself to marry one of his daughters. In hindsight, that was absolutely the wrong way to go about it. She should have been given a say in her own life rather than treated like property by her father and the man who claimed to love her. 

Chan talks about what he can remember of their courtship as honestly as he can. From his perspective, everything went wonderfully. After all, why shouldn’t she have been thrilled that he wanted to marry her. Once he had nothing but time to think back on what he had done, he realized that she had not seemed all that interested. It was more like she was going through the motions because she had to. He tried to include her in everything that he could so she would see what her life could be like. Maybe that had been the wrong choice. But, she was a natural when it came to hosting or offering opinions in meetings. At the time, it made him happy to see how well she settled in. Now, it just felt like she had been forced into a life she never wanted.

As the wedding itself got closer, she fled to the far reaches of the ocean. It was a dolphin scout of his that finally managed to find her. He never knew what his scout said to her that made her return. He only knew what he told the scout. They never spoke about it once she came back. She simply returned, assured him she had only been nervous about how important he was, and said she wanted to get married still. So, he also acted like nothing happened, which he knows was as wrong as he could have been. He does think that he tried to be a better partner to her after that, though he’s not sure he succeeded. When he had to make decisions between what might be best for her and what might be best for his position, he chose himself. He also chose the sea over her when he had to make those choices. It was never fair to her. 

Somehow, through all of that, he did really grow to love her. He valued her beyond what he showed. He appreciated her for her unfailing kindness and her insistence when she knew she was right. He appreciated her wit and her mind. He appreciated the way that she was never afraid to tell him what she thought or to let him know when he was making the wrong decision. He appreciated that she didn’t just bend over backwards for him or fawn over him. He only realized after she was gone that he never appreciated her the way that she deserved to be appreciated. Once he lost her, he realized that he should have done anything in the world to protect her. He realized he should have given her the entire sea and made her the ruler because she was far smarter than he had realized. 

You only listen intently without interrupting. In the few moments where Chan looks at you, he struggles to figure out what you’re thinking. Not that you won’t tell him. He knows you will. It’s just very daunting to speak that long without you interjecting. When he stops speaking, you’re still quiet for a moment. 

“I think…Chan, I think I’m starting to remember,” you say with wide eyes. 

And that’s the last thing he expects to hear. He figures you may tell him that he’s horrible for putting someone he claims to have loved through that. Or you could say that it sounds far-fetched to think she’s not just a sea nymph, but a specific nymph that he was deeply in love with. He doesn’t expect for you to look at him in wonder and say you’re remembering. That’s another unknown in this entire mess of a situation. 

Before he can consider if this is something that should even be possible, your lips crash into his. There are so many emotions behind that kiss that he can’t begin to process. There’s longing and a long-forgotten love. There’s excitement about returned memories. There’s the sparks that always fly between you two. The mix of the established feelings with ones Chan never expected to feel again is startling. So, he just lets his mind wander. He lets the feeling of kissing you consume him so thoroughly that it pushes any other conversation out the window. All that exists in that moment is the two of you, however you want to define that. 

The excitement of finding out a long forgotten identity wears off far quicker than you expect it to. Not that you have any frame of reference for this sort of thing. But, surely it should last longer than this. Longer than it takes for you to fall into bed with Chan again. Longer than it takes for him to worship your body as he’s done before and for him to bring you to an orgasm so good it has you screaming. Somehow, in the post-sex haze, he doesn’t realize that you’re quieter than usual. Perhaps that’s a blessing. He kisses you so softly, so sweet and tells you that he’s going to do some research. That’s fine, you insist, because you want to get back home to really get a good night’s sleep. It seems unspoken that he wants to let you process.

But…well, you’re not really sure if you’re still okay with the information. It’s like having sex this time triggered a new flood of memories. Some come across as clearly as if it was something you directly experienced. Others come through more as feelings than anything else. And it’s a lot. Overwhelming in a way that nothing else has been. It’s how you expected to react to finding out that all those myths you were so drawn to were actually real. That feels easy to accept, especially now. Remembering is something else entirely. Because remembering Amphitrite’s experiences as your own just feels complicated. 

Maybe it’s wrong to think of her as a separate person if her soul lives within you. That part isn’t hard to accept, not when you can feel it. The hard part is accepting the feelings about Chan. The memory pushes back on you calling him that. Accepting is also the wrong word. The hard part is reconciling the person you’ve gotten to know with the memories that come flooding back. 

Then, almost as if on cue, that whispering voice returns. It reminds you of how you felt when you first met Chan. Of the distaste you had without being able to place it. Which is true, isn’t it? You didn’t like him without any reason beyond just a feeling. The voice presses memories onto you. Things you actually experienced with Chan mixed in with scenes between Poseidon and Amphitrite. The more you see, the more it feels like your own memories. Like something that you took part in directly. 

It’s putting it mildly to say that things are complicated. There is clear affection there for the person that Amphitrite got to know. Although it’s clear she did not love Poseidon from the beginning, she grew into much stronger feelings. Yet, she can’t separate those fully. She can’t say for sure that the feelings would develop on their own. Did she just love him? Or was it because she, at times, had little contact with anyone outside their palace? Though, that was largely her own choice as things went on. There were too many things to do at home to leave. And there was too much unrest.

Yes, it feels complicated. Now your own memories or the past few months mingle with decades of memories from someone else. You can’t decide if you want to push your own memories aside to make room for the returning ones or keep them side by side. Your new memories don’t really seem to fit, though. Which isn’t surprising. The person you know isn’t the same one that Amphitrite knew. He’s grown in ways that she can scarcely understand or imagine. He’s thoughtful and considerate and much more mature. That doesn’t sit perfectly with the memories. Although, you can tell that there’s a part of the lingering voice that appreciates the growth. Maybe even feels a little responsible for it. Wants to believe that she’s part of the reason he made the changes. 

By the time you make it back to your apartment, your head feels like it’s going to split open. You’re no closer to any answers about what you want to do. No closer to reconciling incredibly complex feelings. No closer to the next step. That’s fine, though. All you can really do now is let yourself drift off to sleep and revisit 

The morning, unfortunately, doesn’t bring answers. You’re not sure how to approach Chan other than to ask for time to process your feelings. That seems like as good a place to start as any because it’s a lot to take in. He must know that. Surely he’ll understand. Even though you seemingly accepted the news yesterday, it’s a new day today. And your brain is fighting to catch up. 

You’re trying to figure out how to approach the conversation with Chan when you make your way through the apartment. A piece of paper by your front door catches your eye and you approach it. You pick up the envelope and recognize the writing on the front of it as Chan’s. There’s something so impossibly him about the gesture. Of course he would write a letter instead of…wait. A moment too late, your brain catches up. Why would Chan be writing you a letter? What changed?

Opening the letter feels close to the last thing you want to do. But, you know that you need to just open it to see what’s going on. See if anything changes. 

A lot can change overnight, it seems. Chan fills the letter with apologies for things you can’t even begin to understand. He’s apologizing to you and also to Amphitrite. It seems he got to the conclusion much faster than you, which shouldn’t be surprising. He’s had centuries, apparently, to learn and to spot things others may never notice. That’s especially clear as you read through his letter, now. 

Getting past the general apologies, you find more specific apologies. He’s incredibly sorry, but he’s going to be leaving for a while. He knows that it’s not fair to you, but it’s something that he’s got to do. At least he acknowledges that it should ultimately be your decision on how to proceed with the relationship. He can’t let you do that without more answers to his questions. He needs to know how it’s possible for Amphitrite’s soul to have found its way into your body. He needs to understand what that means for your own mortality. It’s selfish, he admits, so incredibly selfish, but he can’t move forward with you, even if that’s what you want, without knowing more. He can’t watch as you age and he doesn’t. Can’t grow to love you more and more only to know you have an expiration date. It’s cold, he knows, to say it that way. It’s also the way he’s going to approach it. The whole letter is filled with apologies and acknowledgements followed by buts. 

Chan goes on to say that he’s going looking for his brother, Zeus. He’s the only one that might be able to help them understand what’s happening. The problem is that he hasn’t seen his brother in centuries and doesn’t entirely know how to find him, or if he’s even still surviving. He just has to trust that he’s out there somewhere, going through the same motions as Chan and chugging forward in the only way either of them know how. Somehow this tidbit is a lot to process. Accepting the existence of Poseidon was easy. Maybe that’s because of your own past. Accepting Zeus is something else entirely. Some of that stems from your own disbelief. Most seems to come from Amphitrite’s complicated feelings about her brother-in-law.

Just as you’re about to put the letter down in frustration, you see the postscript. Chan asks you to help his staff look after the aquarium until he returns. He knows that it’s not fair to ask. He knows you may even say no. Your heart tightens at the thought of the animals without Chan. Now that you know who he is, you know that they’ll miss him when he’s not around. You don’t have powers the way he does, though. And it’s his choice to just leave on a whim to chase answers for a relationship that may not even be there when he returns. 

Well, two can play this game, you think. It may not be a fully rational thought. It may not even be fair. Before you can overthink it, you send a text to Soonyoung saying that you’ll be out of town for the next few weeks, at least. You just tell him that you have some things to work through and leave it at that. In the meantime, you throw things haphazardly into a suitcase and you’re out the door before even getting a response.

Your letter from Chan stays sitting on your table as you rush out of the apartment without a second thought. All you know is that you’re going to let Amphitrite guide you on a journey of your own to find missing memories before you make any more decisions. 

It seems like both of you have a lot to figure out before you see each other next.

[edward-munson]

don't you give up (i won't give up) | E.M

Summary: Eddie is hanging between life and death during the events in the Upside Down | Modern Hawkins

Pairing: Eddie Munson x f!reader

Word Count: 5.4k

Warnings: Mentions of blood, injuries. Smut (p in v) 18+ MDNI, fingering, aftercare. (I thought about the title inspired by "Let Me Love You" by Justin Bieber. I know it's completely random, but trust the process)

°♡•☆

The first few seconds of what just happened before your eyes will forever haunt you. There's something too inexplicable about everything you've been going through the past weeks. While Steve, Nancy and Robin went after Vecna, you stayed behind with Dustin and Eddie.

The latter was thrown on the floor, blood coming out of him nonstop as the demobats fed off his flesh. You could only let out a whisper of horror before you rushed to him, kneeling beside his limp body. He was still breathing, but the amount of red fluid leaving his mouth was shocking. He was almost gargling on it. Your first instinct was to rip off your shirt and start to cover his wounds, carefully moving his head to the side so he wouldn't choke.

I used to believe

We were burnin' on the edge of somethin' beautiful

Somethin' beautiful

Dustin came right next, his voice screaming painfully loud as he seemed petrified at the sight. You don't remember how you were able to speak, but you told him you needed to leave with Eddie right at that moment. He was wheezing, his skin becoming rigid and he was probably beginning to feel shock.

"What the f-fuck is happening? What is happening?" His tone was desperate and aggravating as the minutes went by.

It didn't dawn on you how long you would have to run until you got to the gate in his trailer. And you wouldn't be able to hold him while riding the bike. The longer it took you, the more terrified you felt. The more he was starting to feel his body become unbearable. Dustin had a sprained ankle, he was doing his best to run after you while holding his friend for dear life.

Sellin' a dream

Smoke and mirrors keep us waitin' on a miracle

On a miracle

When you finally made it to the trailer, Jonathan and Hopper were waiting for you to pick him up, as you tied him to the sheet that separated both worlds. They pulled him first, the chief rushing to get him to the hospital, while Jonathan helped you and Dustin next. He drove you afterwards, a dreadful sensation of what could happen to him. The realization that it wouldn't have been enough to save him.

He stayed in the ICU for days, tied to machines and barely breathing from swallowing blood. His lungs were filled with liquid because of that, his wounds ended up being infected.

There wasn't a day that wouldn't go missing without you or your friends visiting him and Max. His Hellfire friends, especially the younger ones, would read comics to him every day. Eleven tried to do telepathy, willing to make sure how he was healing. It was slow, barely any improvement. But no one would lose faith that he would get better, just like Max.

Say, go through the darkest of days

Heaven's a heartbreak away

Never let you go, never let me down

It felt like ages, but it took him nearly two months to recover slightly, until he woke up. You weren't there when it happened, Robin and Steve were there and they both made an entire show about it in the hall. He was still alive, but still hanging on. His skin was paler, his features were skinnier, hollowed cheeks were too evident on his face.

His hair was clearly in need of a good care, and his voice was hoarse from the lack of speaking. There was still a lot to recover, and each time he would have someone visit him, he would never get bored. You were all doing different things with him, making sure he would distract himself from the memories of what had happened.

Whenever you would get in, his face would light up. Brown eyes glinting with joy of seeing you. Eddie would always freeze when asked about how he felt or what he remembers from that day. His mind goes spiraling at the thought of it. He doesn't remember the last few minutes.

He remembers the bats ripping his skin off, the sound of flesh being pulled out of him, too shocked to even react. At times, he swears he can still feel the sensation. He needs to take sleeping pills, otherwise he would never sleep. And even if he does, his brain draws out the event repeatedly.

Oh, it's been a hell of a ride

Driving the edge of a knife

Never let you go, never let me down

Eddie needs to do therapy twice a week. It doesn't get easier with time, it gets more bearable. It gnaws him to the point of him wishing he could shut his mind off from everything. El can't do much for him when he asks for help, she can only see the trauma, the stress and the pain from all of it. You walk through it all with him.

You make him let it all out, you give him comforting words and a reassuring smile that things can get better. A deep sigh always escapes his lips when he's with you. He felt that before everything happened, but when shit went down, he didn't have time to work it out. He almost forgot.

Your feather light touch makes his skin numb, in a good way. The touch almost burns the spot. When you hold his hand, he yearns from the thought of interlacing his fingers with yours. He hates to see himself that skinny, thinking he looks too hideous. You're not focusing on it, not in the slightest. He misses you when you kiss his forehead goodbye, tugging at his bangs when you fix them. He would ask you to stay the night and make him company and you would never refuse it.

Don't you give up, nah, nah, nah

I won't give up, nah, nah, nah

Let me love you

Let me love you

You've seen him growing out of the fear, of the reluctance of being out in the world again. Months later, and he was feeling like himself again. He started working, giving himself a new life. Eddie didn't want to let everything that Vecna did to be a part of his memory.

°♡•☆

You're sitting across from him at the table as you play poker. He taught you how to play during the days he spent in the hospital. You see the way he cages his lower lip between his teeth, fingertips tapping against the cards in his hands. Everyone seems to be enjoying the sunny summer day at the pool at Steve's cabin. A year later, and you all decided to celebrate his rebirth, his life. Somewhere across Hawkins, the teens are celebrating Max as well.

You wait until his next move, but he takes longer than necessary to play. "Oh my God, will you stop fucking bluffing and just play?"

He feigned a gasp and lowered the cards from his face, enough to look at you through his sunglasses.

"Don't interrupt the master, baby. He's focused" You roll your eyes, using your instep to swat his knee under the table. "Ow! Is that really necessary?"

"I should be asking you the same, you moron."

Eddie doesn't take the mocking insult to heart, stalling on purpose this time just to see you become furious at him. Robin keeps delivering small pieces of barbecue to you two, as well as the drinks Nancy has been making to everyone.

He seems to ponder before placing his cards over the table. Three of a kind, which means he got 3 cards of the same value. You try to hold back a smirk, but he notices right away, slumping against his chair.

Don't fall asleep

At the wheel, we've got a million miles ahead of us

Miles ahead of us

"Fuck off. No way!" His voice is loud enough for your friends to suddenly gather around. They like to be the audience whenever you two play, only because they know how competitive he can be. "No, no, no. Nuh-uh"

His denial is almost too adorable. He knows he's about to lose when you playfully push your tongue between your teeth and grin. A shit eating grin.

"Well, well, pretty boy. See for yourself" You display your cards and you hear your friends exclaiming in surprise.

You got a full house. And Eddie isn't surprised. He can be smug all he wants, he knows when he's going to lose. He's a sore loser as well.

You bring your hand over your ear and move your head to the side, mocking him "Master of what now?"

"Shut up" He mumbles in complete denial.

"You're just bad at it, Munson. Just admit it" Jonathan pinches his cheek and shakes it, earning a slap on his forearm.

"Whatever. I'm going for a swim" Eddie straightens up from his chair, lifting his swim shorts as he fixes the straps.

You watch him pick up the cards and organize them into the small box. His lips are curled upwards, but his hair almost covers the way he's trying to smile. He likes to see you winning against him. He swears he doesn't cheat for you to win, he loves seeing you cheer whenever he loses. Truth to his friends' words, he's definitely a sore loser, but he doesn't mind you winning.

Eddie pulled some weight after he left the hospital. He was definitely more fit. Not muscly, but absolutely in shape, just like Steve. You can see his stomach fold just enough. His arms are thicker than before and he has a lot more to grab, even his thighs. He covered his scars with tattoos from things he likes. Your favorite one being the snake wrapped around a sword over his left side.

All that we need

Is a rude awakening to know we're good enough (yeah)

Know we're good enough

"Nice round, love. I'm glad I taught you well" Eddie gives you a sympathetic smile before sprinting to the pool, throwing himself at the water as it almost splashes at Vickie, who's sunbathing.

You watch from your seat as he laughs at the jokes Jonathan makes, at the way he's so unbothered to be shirtless after everything that happened. To his demeanor when he talks with Robin and Nancy. Steve pulls a lounge chair beside yours and sighs deeply, putting his sunglasses on as he runs his fingers through his damp hair.

"He seems pretty happy" He says, taking a swig from his beer and you nod in agreement. "Never thought I would see him smiling ever again after that."

The man next to you also carries scars along his body. His neck has a fading mark from when a demobat choked him, his sides also have bite marks from their teeth. He didn't hide like Eddie did, but he doesn't care they're there, it means he survived.

"It's like nothing ever happened, but I know he has nightmares sometimes. I like to see him this way, like he never lived it."

Steve knows. He knows more than anyone, even more so than Robin, that you carry feelings for his best friend. He’s always known, before things went to shit. And he’s also very aware that the metalhead likes you too. It’s been a few months ever since he gripped your hands and talked off his feelings, asking you to wait. He wanted to heal first, he wanted to feel better before anything could happen between you two, and you agreed to it. You gave him space, you respected his wish and showed him support. You were still waiting, still lingering on the thought of finally being with him. 

Say, go through the darkest of days

Heaven's a heartbreak away

Never let you go, never let me down

“God, birdie. Stop gawking at him, it’s gonna burn holes on his body and it’s not like he doesn’t have scars already” He nudges your elbow playfully and you flip him off, ruffling his hair. 

“Shut up, Harrington.” He’s still chuckling, looking at you with amusement. You frowned, but deep inside you knew you were staring too much at him. 

You’ve spent the entire day by the pool, almost getting sunburnt from how long you’ve all stayed out. You’ve had dinner at the table outside, relishing on the starry sky above you. The moon shined upon you, the pool water reflecting its beauty. You all smoked a joint after eating, sprawled out either on the lounge chair or on the grass around the place. You played Uno before most of your friends decided to go inside and get some rest, leaving just you and Eddie alone. 

He had his Spotify on the big speaker, a faint song by some band he likes playing while you two just enjoyed each other’s company. He was scrolling through his phone, snorting at something random every few minutes. You were just watching him. 

“You’re not being subtle, love. What is it?” He asked all of a sudden, lifting his eyes from his phone to look at you, and you just shrug. “No, don’t start with that thing with me.”

“What, I can’t look? Isn’t that the whole purpose of having eyes?” You play oblivious, resting your chin over your hands, your elbows bent above the table. 

Eddie chuckles at your response and rolls his eyes. “Yeah, smartass. You know what I mean.”

You get up from the lounge chair and walk towards the edge of the pool, sitting down, dropping your feet over the water. He stays behind on the table, watching you with curious eyes and a big question mark over his head. 

“It’s… I love seeing you. I love the idea of having you around, knowing you’re still alive.” You feel him sitting beside you, water almost knee deep. “I love the way you still joke around us and how you enjoy yourself.”

Oh, it's been a hell of a ride

Driving the edge of a knife

Never let you go, never let me down

He smiles. It’s not a sad one, but it’s also not a happy one either. It comes with some kind of pain from the memories of the past event. He ponders for a good minute and something snaps inside of him. The realization of what he’s been witnessing the past few months crashing down on him. Eddie had always seen the way you looked at him, the way you would always take care of him, he knows you’ve talked about feelings before, but he wasn’t sure you would still wait for him after all. And then, right there, sitting next to you, he decides to push aside any fear, and uses one of his hands to slide over your lap, reaching your fingers. He grips your hand, tight, and turns over to look at you. 

You do the same, and you watch the way his eyes sparkle with something you can’t decipher. And then, out of nowhere, he pulls you into the water with him, barely having time to react to his idea. His hand never left yours, even when you almost reach the bottom, trying to swat him away as you make your way to the surface.

You breathe out, heaving for the lack of air. He comes out of the water, breaking in laughter as his hair sticks to his face.

"You motherfuc–" He doesn't let you finish, spitting water towards you, cackling at the way you contort from annoyance. "Eddie! What was that for?"

He places both hands on your waist, still smiling at you with a devilish grin. "And I love the way you look at me. I love the way you've always cared for me, the way you always took care of me"

You soften at his touch and his words, feeling his fingertips against your skin. The led lights from the pool changed colors each second. You feel the hardness of the edge of the pool as he cages you. His hair is still sticking to his face, almost hiding his features, and you lift a hand to move the strands. He purses his lips, that are still curled upwards, taking in your soft touch on his skin. Your palm is spread over his jawline, thumb ghosting over his cheek.

Don't you give up, nah, nah, nah

I won't give up, nah, nah, nah

Let me love you

Let me love you

You watch him tilt his head, eyes frozen at you. "I love the way you look at me too" You almost whisper.

"I... I think I'm ready" He speaks up again, closing the distance between your bodies when his chest hovers over you. He brings one hand over your face as well, his fingertips grazing the nape of your hair.

"Are you sure?" You're feeling your heart rate pick up at the sight of him. Tattoos spread all over his body, small marks of scars peeking out of the ink that don't cover them all.

Eddie nods and bites his lower lip, leaving a deep sigh. He brings his forehead to rest against yours, and his mouth is merely inches from touching your mouth.

"God, I've wanted this for as long as I can remember. I just needed time" You can sense the nervousness coating his tone, but his hands are firm on you.

Your other hand holds his wrist for support "I'm so–"

He doesn't waste time letting you finish, finally closing the distance and crashing his lips against yours. Desperate fingers tangle your hair when he lashes out, his tongue touching your ferociously. He can still taste like weed, a faint taste of the wine he had as well, and you whimper against his mouth.

"God, don't do that" He pleads with his mouth still attached to yours. Your free hand goes up to his curls, raking your fingers over them. Your tongues clash against each other in a savoring kiss.

Eddie tries to stay focused on the moment, but he wants to drown in you. He wants to feel you entirely. He pulls your lower lip between his teeth and groans in urgency. You can feel his fingertips digging on your waist, his body almost leaning against you, almost buckling forward to feel you deeper.

You pull out to take a breath, filling your lungs with air as you try to soothe your own heart. "I want more, Eddie."

He's not surprised when you say it out loud. He'd been wanting this too. Especially with you. "Yeah, me too, baby."

He pulls you against him as he walks towards the steps in the pool, reaching for the shallow surface. He walks to the table and grabs the towel for both of you, messily drying himself so fast you bet he's still going to be wet. 

Since you were sharing the bedroom with Robin, you both go to Eddie's bedroom. He didn't want to share a room with Steve and you're glad he didn't. He closes the door behind him, eyes lingering at you, at the way you're eagerly waiting for it to happen as much as he does. He rushes a few steps towards you, cupping your face, moving his lips to yours once more. He kisses you like he needs air, like it's the last thing he wants to do. You feel the back of your knees hitting the foot of the bed, flopping down as you watch him with lust.

You look at his body, at the way his chest rises and falls, at how there's a tattoo peeking out of the hem of his swim shorts. He's quick to pick a condom from his drawer, leaving it to the side, immediately climbing on the bed. His body hovers over you, his hair cascading over his shoulders. He spread sweet, wet kisses along your neck, your collarbones and your chest, between your breasts and under them. He uses his hand to untie the straps of your bikini top, slowly pulling them off, fingertips ghosting against your skin as he starts to reveal your nipple.

The air that leaves his lips touches your sensitive spot and it makes you shiver. You let out a shocked gasp when he flattens his tongue over your hardened nipple, leaving a languish lick. Eddie circles your skin softly, using his free hand to slide over your stomach, reaching your bikini bottom. You don't want to overthink how the fuck he's such an expert at it, so you shut your brain down and focus on him. His fingers slip under the fabric, spreading your cunt, collecting your wetness.

"Oh God, Eddie" You mewled, feeling him humming against your breast. You know you're too far gone at this point and he just got started.

Don't you give up, nah, nah, nah

I won't give up, nah, nah, nah

Let me love you

Let me love you

He strokes your slit up and down, circling your clit almost lightly. It's staggering, it makes your head dizzy. Your eyes roll back to your skull when he sucks your nipple, hollowing his checks when he pulls pressure to it. His ring and middle finger slip inside of you smoothly, ripping a moan out of you. Eddie knows he's not going to last long, because it's been a long time ever since he had sex. And also because the sounds you make are like lullabies to him.

He pumps his fingers and curls them into you, making you roll your hips in reflex. He flicks his tongue over your nipple and it drives you to the edge of sanity. Your hand flies up to his hair, grabbing a fistful of his curls as you pull it back. He loves the way you have no idea how hard you're pulling his hair but he loves it. His fingers leave your cunt and you whine. The feeling of missing his touch is almost unbearable. He brings them to his mouth, sucking them off as he tastes you. It leaves you in awe at the sight of him almost falling apart for you.

Eddie slowly removes your bikini top, not ever leaving his eyes from yours. You clash your lips again, tongues almost interlacing together. He helps you remove the last piece of clothing you have before getting rid of his own shorts. His cock springs free, tip leaking with precum and length pulsing with anticipation. You take your time relishing at the sight, swallowing harshly. You want to gag on him, you want to choke on him. You reach to hold his shaft and he stops you.

"We'll have plenty of time, baby. I want you to have a good time" He rasps, lying on his back. He's waiting for you, holding your hand.

You just nod as you shoot him a smile, grabbing the condom from the nightstand. You crawl back, legs on each side of his outer thighs, a thundering feeling coursing through your veins until it reaches your stomach. You don't know how you don't feel shy or embarrassed of being completely naked for him, but he doesn't either. You hold his cock, stroking him gently a few times, swiping off the liquid from his tip down to his shaft. He buckles his hips upwards in response, cursing through his teeth.

You wrap him and, before you even sit on top of him, you take in his body. The way he lies pretty for you, the way his chest looks good from that angle. Your hands roam through his body, your fingertips slithering over his tattoos. You can see the way he hairs on his skin all stand up from your touch.

"You're so beautiful, Eddie. So gorgeous" You whisper to him, memorizing every inch of his body.

He's mesmerized, he watches you from that position and all he wants to do is spend his life like that. "You're too beautiful, love. You're a sight to sore eyes."

His grin grows wide when you shy away. One of your hands slips down his torso until it reaches his cock again. He throws his hair back and inhales painfully. You line yourself above him, guiding his tip through your folds, rubbing it against your clit. You bite your lower lip from the contact and his hands hold your waist for leverage. You slowly start sinking, your cunt enveloping his hardness entirely until he's deep into your walls.

Your jaw goes slack and you can't hold back the moan that leaves your lips. He can't keep his eyes open, mouth agape as well. "Fuck that's so good, baby." His voice drops an octave and his tone becomes husky, and you clench around him at the sound of it.

You start to move your hips back and forth, eyes trained at him all the time. Your palms are flat against his chest, while he digs his nails on your skin. One thing you've come to love about it, is the way he doesn't care he's being vocal. He praises you the entire time, he keeps his voice low so only you can hear it. Eddie brings you forward, your body leaning against his chest. He snakes both arms around you and holds your waist firmly. It brings you closer to him, it makes you feel different sensations.

He starts pounding on you, ripping off a gasp from you as you bury your face against his shoulder. It muffles your whining and your moaning. He pumps inside of you, the tip of his cock hitting your walls as you clench again. The more you do it, the more excited he gets.

"You're too fucking good, love. Taking me so well, God" He whispers over your ear, one of his hands coming up to grab a fistful of your hair as he pulls it hard just like you did.

You jolt your head back, barely keeping your eyes open, while looking at him through hazy eyes. Your crying fills the air along with the slapping sound of his hip against your ass. "Fuck, Eddie. Just like that."

"I want you to come for me, baby. Please, I'm gonna cum" He's desperate, almost panting. His fingers dig deeper into your skin as his cock is rock hard.

You start to roll your hips around him, your eyes meet the back of your head one more time. Eddie moans your name, heaving sweet nothings as he feels the coil about to snap inside of him. He drops his hands to squeeze your ass, thrusting upwards to meet you in the middle.

You're the first to feel the dizzying apex as your toes curl and your fingers squeeze his chest. Your pussy throbs around his cock, clenching as you feel your blood pressure rise. Your pulse is beating too fast, and you're mumbling incoherent words. Your hips stutter and you can't move as you cum around Eddie, who's about to sputter into his condom.

"Jesus– Fuc– Shit" He curses through the dazed orgasm. His cock twitches inside of you, jolting an electricity that crosses his veins. His eyes flutter shut, while he waits for his high to come down.

You smile at him, even though he doesn't see it. You're both a mess of panting and sweat, trapped into each other. You still ride him out of his orgasm and he jumps with the overstimulation.

"God, don't do that" Eddie whines when you freeze on your spot and giggle at him. "It hurts. Jesus, baby."

You can't get over the pet name. He calls you that 98% of the time and you love it.

You stay sat on him, feeling your body limp. He's becoming soft after a couple of minutes like that and you both hiss when you pull yourself up. He finds the towel to wrap it around his waist and disappears only for a few seconds before walking to the bed with a paper towel. The aftercare makes your heart flutter. It's even more sweet when he glances at you with a lopsided smile. His bangs are tousled and sticking to his forehead. He flops onto the bed close to you, handing you a shirt and your bikini bottom.

When you're finally dressed, he spoons you. His head leans on the crook of your neck and you can feel he's breathing evenly.

"You know" He speaks up, fingers slipping between yours "I knew I loved you when you said you wanted to help Wayne with the steps of the trailer. My old man thought you and I had something going on that day."

You grin widely at the memory. You were at his place just to pick up your phone charger, but Eddie was busy in the bathroom at the same time his uncle had to leave to run a few errands. You helped him walk down the steps because he had issues with them, just like the stairs. His hip problem prevented him from doing simple things like that.

"And then when you wanted to watch us play D&D. After we started spending more time together, I noticed how nervous I would get around you. And one day Steve told me about the difference between being in love and loving someone. You can't have either sometimes, and I realized I had both."

Don't you give up, nah, nah, nah

I won't give up, nah, nah, nah

Let me love you

Let me love you

He scooted even closer to you "I remember that day. When they flew right at me. The look of fear in your eyes. I was afraid of losing you too. I was afraid of you losing me."

You could hear the wavering in his voice "Eddie, I thought I lost you right there."

He squeezed you tighter "I saw the way you ran. The way you tried to make me stay awake. I almost said it, the way I wished I could've always said. Not just a simple 'I love you'."

You move your head to the side, turning over to try and look at him.

"You're it for me, birdie. I love you so much. I've always loved you and always you. And I'm so glad I have met you. You're my angel."

Your stomach twists to a tight knot at the revelation. You loved him too. You were never able to say it the way you should've said long before either. Because you do.

"I love you too, Eds. Love you like I never did before."

"Thank you for showing up in my life. Wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you."

"I think Eddie and Robin would be very offended if they heard you" You chuckle as you turn on your side to fully face him.

"Think they're going to be pissed at me and you either way after tonight."

You open your mouth and he laughs at the way your features display some sort of desperation "You think they heard us?"

"I think even the trees heard us, sweetheart."

You slap him on the shoulder, watching him hold back the loudest cackle he wanted to let out. "I'm kidding, jeez. You're so mean when you're not riding me."

He shields himself with his pillow when you straighten up to hit him with another slap. "What's wrong with you? We're not fifteen."

"I'm just kidding! God help me when you're in a bad mood."

"I'm never in a bad mood."

"Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror when you're on your period?" You almost choke on your own spit at the statement.

"How did we manage to change the topic so fast?"

He laughs when you giggle and you both share a look.

"We've always shared the same vibe, baby. Dark humor, good taste in music and shit. I just had to recover before I was ready. And I'm glad you waited."

He swipes a strand of hair out of your face, pulling it behind your ear. His fingers slither down, reaching your jawline. Your hand wraps around his wrist, thumb stroking his skin.

"I would always wait for you, Munson."

Eddie blushes. It's one of the most sweet and genuine reactions. He purses his lips when he smiles.

He never believed someone could love him, never believed anyone would see him the way you do. And if you had to save him, you would do it all over again. As many times as you needed.

You two shower - not together - and get on his bed. Legs tangled and lazy kisses. He holds you closer with an arm wrapped around your neck as he holds his phone up for both of you. He scrolls through pictures and videos. They're from before Vecna, and it's the first time he's showing you everything he registered. From moments like those when you would all get together, to dull things like his D&D campaigns, rehearsals with his Corroded Coffin band mates and picnic with your friends at Lovers Lake.

There's one picture you love the most. It's one of you two dressed as Steve and Robin when they used to work at Scoops Ahoy. You were at the halloween party Nancy threw at her house almost two years ago. It made your friends lose their shit and the former employees shared an amused look back in the day.

Don't you give up, nah, nah, nah

I won't give up, nah, nah, nah

Let me love you

Let me love you

He's not afraid to go through the pictures and videos of stuff you found about Vecna. He's not even sure how his phone still survived everything. There was no signal between Upside Down and Hawkins. It didn't even work when it was near a gate.

But now, as he faces his smartphone, feeling your warmth beside him, he can't help but feel good he's still alive. He pressed his lips against your forehead and whispered that he loves you.

He likes to think that, a year ago, things changed for the better.