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vadlings · 1 year ago

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Represention of Autistic Frustration in Laios Dungeon Meshi

Like many other autistic people, I related strongly to Laios Touden while reading Dungeon Meshi. This post isn't going to spend time disputing whether he displays autistic traits or not—while I could do that, I want to focus on why specifically his portrayal struck a chord with me in a way the writing of most other autistic-coded characters has not.

Disclaimer: as the above suggests, this post is strongly informed by my own experiences as an autistic person, as well as the experiences of my neurodivergent friends with whom I have spoken about this subject. I want to clarify that in no way am I asserting my personal experience to be some Universal Autistic Experience. This post is about why Laios' character feels distinct and significant to me in regard to autistic representation, and while I'm at it, I do feel that I have interesting things to say about autistic representation in media generally. This also got a bit long, so I'm sticking it under a read more. Spoilers for up to the end of chapter 88 below.

The thing that stands out most to me in regard to Laios' characterisation is the open anger he displays when someone points out his inability to read other people. This comes up prominently in his interactions with "Shuro" (Toshiro Nakamoto):

The frustration pictured above (Laios continuing to physically tussle with Toshiro, using crude language toward him) becomes even more notable when you remember that this is Laios, who, outside of these interactions, is not easily fazed and often exists as a lighthearted contrast to the rest of the cast. Then we get to Laios' nightmare.

In Falin's words: "Nightmares love emotional wounds. Wounds you hold in your heart. Things that give you stress, or things that were traumatic for you. They aggravate memories like that and cause the dreamer to have terrible dreams." (chapter 42, page 10.) (damn. i'm properly citing for this post and everything.)

Thus, Laios' nightmare establishes an important fact: even if he is unable to recognise social blunders while he's making them, he's at least subconsciously aware that other people operate on a different wavelength to him, and that he's an outsider in many of his social circles (both past and present). His dream-father's disparaging words stress the impact this has had upon his ability to live up to the expectations set out for him, and we also get a panel of kids who smirk at him (presumably former bullies to some degree). Toshiro's appearance only hammers home how much Laios is still both humiliated and angered by his misunderstanding of their relationship.

I've thought a lot about anger as concomitant to the autistic experience. When autistic representation portrays ostracization, it's generally from an angle of the autistic character being upset at how conforming to neurotypical norms doesn't come easily to them; as a result, they express a desire to 'get better' at meeting neurotypical standards, a desire to become more 'normal' (whether the writing implies this is a good thing or not). In contrast, not once does Laios go, "I need to perform better in my social interactions, and try to care less about monsters, because that's what other people find weird." His frustration is directed outward rather than inward, and as a result, it's the people around him who are framed as nonsensical.

The Winged Lion starts delineating Laios' anger, and Laios' reaction is to think to himself, "It can sense all my thoughts, huh?" (chapter 88, page 16.) This is the scene that really resonated with me. I'm not saying I have never felt the desire to conform to neurotypical norms that is borne from insecurity, but primarily, I know that I don't want to work toward becoming 'normal'—I don't want to change myself for people who follow rules I find nonsensical. It's the difference between, "Oh god, why can't I get it," and, "WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT?" (phrasing here courtesy of my friend Miles @dogwoodbite). And for me personally, Dungeon Meshi is the first time I've seen this frustration and the resultant voluntary isolation from other people portrayed in media so candidly. Laios' anger is not downplayed or written to be easily palatable, either.

The culmination of Laios' frustrations in this scene wherein we learn that Laios has fantasised about "a pack of monsters attacking a village" drives home just how alienated he really feels. I need not go into his wish to become a monster himself, redolent of how many autistic people identify/have identified with non-humans to some degree as a result of a percieved disconnect from society (when I was younger, I wanted to be a robot. I still kind of do.)

Obviously, wishing death upon other people is a weighty thing, but the unfiltered nature of this page is what deeply resonated with me. The Winged Lion is laying Laios' deepest and most transgressive desires bare, and they are desires that are a product of lifelong ostracization by others (whether intentional or unintentional). This is the brand of anger I'm familiar with, and that my neurodivergent friends express being familiar with, but that I haven't seen portrayed in writing so explicitly before—in fact, it surprised me because most well-meaning autistic representation I've experienced veers toward infantilisation in trying make the autistic character's struggles easy for neurotypicals to sympathise with.

Let's also not neglect the symbolism inherent to Laios' daydream. "A pack of monsters attacking a village". Functionally, monsters are Laios' special interest—he percieves everything first and foremost through his passion for monsters. His daydream of monsters attacking—killing—humans, is fundamentally a daydream of the world he understands (monsters) overthrowing the world that is so illogical to him, that has repeatedly shunned him (other people). I joked to my friends that it's an autistic power fantasy, and it actually sort of is. And in it, his identity is aligned with that of the monsters, while his anger manifests in a palpable dissociation from the rest of humanity. This is one manga page. It's brief. It's also very, very raw to me. I think about it often.

To conclude, I love Laios Dungeon Meshi. This portrayal of open frustration in an autistic character meant a lot to me, and I hope I've sufficiently outlined why. Also, feel free to recommend media with autistic representation in the notes if you've read this far—I would really like to see if there is more of this nature. Thank you for reading. I'm very tired and should probably sleep now.

#dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #laios touden #shuro #toshiro nakamoto #the winged lion #autistic #autism #clay writes #i GUESS #this was so spur of the moment. im so busy right now i dont have time to be analysing laios touden #i wuont angry autistic rep..

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mariamlovesyou · 1 year ago

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tuned into Plestia's live with Rahma Zein's second account (she got shadowbanned). key moments:

plestia talked about her adjustment to living in australia. "it's 1:30am now and it's normal for me and many palestinians who live abroad to be awake hours into the morning. i am scared of sleeping. because of the time difference, i'm scared if i sleep i will wake up to bad news. in gaza i was scared of the sound of the bombs, here i am scared of the quiet."

contacting family and friends in gaza is near impossible. "sometimes i feel like a crazy person, calling 20 times in a row hoping that on the 21st time the call might go through."

on the destruction of entire communities and neighbourhoods: "i'm scared when i go back to gaza i won't recognise it anymore. someone sent me a picture of my neighbourhood, and i couldn't tell it was mine at first. all my favourite places, cafes where the aunties used to give me extra food and ask about my day, have been destroyed. i dread looking at my gallery or seeing snapchat memories because most of these people in the pictures are no longer alive."

rahma asked plestia to talk about one story that stuck with her. plestia said "i remember walking one time on the 'safe corridor', that's what they called it anyway, and i saw an older woman clutching onto a donkey cart where her son's body was, refusing to let go of it. i asked my colleague what the smell was, he said it's dead bodies under the rubble. it was the first time i familiarised myself with the smell. the son's body was decaying and the woman told me about cats and animals eating away at it. i've had children talk to me about birds eating away at their parents' decomposing bodies and not being able to chase them away."

"it seems so silly to go to hospitals for minor sicknesses now. i can't even think about how many palestinian children are going to be terrified of hospitals now. there was a girl who was taken to the hospital to get treatment for injuries by one of the bombs, and while she was in the bathroom another bomb landed nearby. the impact from that sent the ceiling crashing down on her.. she got another injury while getting treated for her first one."

"i hate how people talk about our resilience - as if it's okay that this is happening to us. we are only surviving because we have to, because we have no other choice."

rahma brought up the way family homes are set up in palestine and asked plestia to elaborate. "basically, there are floors. someone will live on the ground floor, and then their married son lives with his children on the floor above them, and then their successors above them and so on. so when family homes are targeted, they wipe out entire families. many families officially no longer exist."

"i used to wear my journalist helmet and vest all the time, felt naked without it, even slept with the vest on sometimes until i realised it only made me more of a target. they didn't give me any protection, only headaches and back pain."

"i am an optimistic person, i loved covering sweet sentimental things, like at my graduation asking parents of top graduates how they feel about their children graduating. that's what i love reporting on. i wanted to cover things like that when i came back to gaza, show the beautiful side of gaza that the media didn't really show, but i didn't have the chance." "do you think they'll give you right of return?" "i can only hope."

plestia mentioned how hard it was being a journalist with limited access to the internet, charging facilities, no mics, lack of equipment and how difficult it was uploading things. rahma asked her what's one story that wasn't really recorded or posted due to these constraints; plestia said "the evacuations. sometimes they informed us about them, sometimes they didn't. you have no idea how hard it was, everyone looking for their family members, making sure every one was there, taking to the streets in 5 minutes and not knowing which way to go. i remember i went to my friend's house for shelter for 30 minutes before the first evacuation was announced and we ran to another family's house, stayed there for 2 days before another evacuation was announced. me, my friend, and that family all evacuated together to another family's house. there were already so many people there seeking shelter, it wasn't just one family staying there. none of us knew how long we had in any place."

before october 7th, palestinians were used to limitations on electricity. plestia used to plan her day's tasks around when the electricity was working. "for example when the electricity was on from 12 to 4, i would say i will do my laundry and charge the phones during this time. life wasn't exactly 'normal', but all of us pray to have those days back in comparison to what we are experiencing now." plestia also said that cars are running on cooking oil now because there is no fuel.

on hygiene: "many pregnant women have to give birth without any pain medication or medical attention. once we ran out of medicine, that was it. women who had to get C-sections couldn't stay to recover or get followup treatments because someone else needed the bed. we have no water, no tissues, no pads, barely any bathrooms. in the shelter schools you have to wait an hour before even getting to use the bathroom because of how many people are there."

"something you don't hear about is how many people die because of sadness. there's so many ways to die in gaza, because of the bombardment, because of starvation, the lack of resources, but i also know many elderly people who died because their hearts couldn't take it anymore. i have been in gaza before and lived through 4 aggressions, but nothing compared to this one."

a recurring sentiment that was echoed in the video: "sometimes i thought to myself: who am i recording this for? because we've already shown everything, we've already talked about everything. everything has already been said, the proof is everywhere, nothing i talked about today is new." rahma said the first video posted about what's happening in palestine should've been enough.

she is 22 today. plestia's closing words: don't stop talking about us, don't stop boycotting, don't stop protesting, please don't get bored of fighting for palestine.

#this is all off the top of my head if i remember other key points i will add them

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ckret2 · 1 month ago

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Pictured above: a shape's eye view of the end of the world.

The second dimension has burned; and Bill's been accidentally setting the second dimension's neighbors on fire. At the moment, the Axolotl is trying really, really hard to convince himself that these two facts are unrelated. Here, have a fic.

This is chapter 5 of an ongoing fic about the Axolotl in the wake of the Euclidean Massacre as Bill just keeps on committing atrocities. If you wanna read the earlier chapters (and/or look at more pretty art of Bill committing horrors and the Ax witnessing horrors), here's chapters one, two, three, and four.

####

As soon as the Axolotl and the Time Giant exited Dimension Zero, they were greeted with a faceful of rain. Apparently the storm cloud with the Apocalyptic Threat Task Force had been waiting for them. "The fires in the remaining dimensions around 2Δ are finally acting like normal fires," it said. "No teleporting around, no more targeting the mortals. We've got the worst ones under control. Think we'll save about 40% of Dimension 2 Zeta and 30% of Dimension 2 Epsilon. Whatever you two did in there, it helped."

"Yeah, well." The Time Giant shrugged, nearly dislodging the Axolotl from his perch draped over her shoulder. "It was one of those problems that fixes itself once you figure out what it is."

So the Time Giant had been right. The triangle's attempts to rescue "his" "people" and to stabilize his strange underworld in Dimension Zero had been what was destabilizing all the other dimensions. As much of a relief as it was to hear the situation was improving... part of the Axolotl had hoped that the fires were still as untamed as ever—because that would have meant the triangle wasn't guilty of perpetuating the blaze.

(If the triangle wasn't actively working to keep Dimension Zero stable, how much longer until it collapsed and erased all its imprisoned souls from existence? Would it be long enough to get them all out?)

The cloud asked, "So, did you find out what destroyed 2Δ?" Right. The Axolotl had almost forgotten that was what they'd originally been looking for.

The Time Giant shook her head grimly. "Didn't see any sign of it. But I've got a suspicion who did it."

The Axolotl said sharply, "All we have is circumstantial evidence." And he'd ripped into more than one god who'd tried to damn a mortal based on circumstantial evidence.

The cloud's sunbeam darted between their faces. Slowly, it said, "I take it you mean our triangular friend. I don't have any proof yet about the original fire; but he's been spreading the fire, I know that much."

"How did you know?" the Axolotl asked. He and the Time Giant had only just learned it themselves inside Dimension Zero.

"We've been interviewing some refugees while you were out. I—think you'll want to speak to them." The cloud directed this statement to the Axolotl.

The Time Giant said, "Later. The triangle says he's willing to move his people to another dimension." She gestured toward VENDOR, flanked by the two cops THEY'd apparently adopted as THEIR personal escorts. THEY were ranting into a phone that the crab-looking cop was holding up for them. "So we've gotta go discuss refugee stuff with Vendy McVendface."

"VENDOR," the cloud corrected.

"Vend 'er? I hardly even know 'er!"

The gods turned to stare at the border of Dimension Zero as the triangle laughed at his own joke until he wheezed. "I had to. It was sitting right there! It woulda been a crime not to pick it up!" His cackles slowly petered out. "What, no laughs? Maybe the joke doesn't translate."

The Time Giant shrugged. "I kinda thought it was funny."

"Ah, whatever."

"Have you been listening the whole time?" the Axolotl asked, not sure whether to be amused or mortified.

"Don't worry about it, I've got something more important to say." He zipped up along the surface of Dimension Zero's border until he was eye level with the Time Giant. "Hey, Hourglass. I didn't say I'm ready to move my people. I said I'm ready to talk about moving. Your guy better sell me on it. If your offer isn't worth it, we're not leaving."

"Are you serious?" She screwed up her face. "Ain't not being erased from existence worth it?"

"I have very high standards. And there are fates worse than death."

"Name one."

The triangle only thought about it a second before he answered, "Captivity."

####

It wasn't until the Axolotl and the Time Giant left the border of Dimension Zero that the Axolotl realized, the moment the triangle had shown up, the storm cloud had disappeared. It was now drizzling surreptitiously near VENDOR, waiting for them to catch up.

As they approached VENDOR, the Time Giant said, "You should give VENDOR the news."

The Axolotl gave her an affronted look. "Why me?" This wasn't his responsibility. He hadn't been hired to do a job here. He shouldn't even be here; he was essentially an over-involved lookie-loo.

"You'd be better at talking to 'em. You move in the same circles."

"I'm not a politician, I'm a lawyer."

"I'm an engineer." She took the Axolotl off her shoulder and nudged his butt to set him gently floating in VENDOR's direction.

The Axolotl twisted around to give her a resentful look, but swam toward the vending machine.

THEY ignored the Axolotl until THEY finished THEIR current call, at which point THEY snapped, "What?" and he explained the situation. Blessedly, THEY didn't ask any further questions or give him any instructions; THEY just grumbled, "Finally," and told the crab cop, "Call the Vitruvian Mandala—we'll need to find places for another ten million 2D refugees."

"And 1D," the Axolotl said.

"Yes, yes." THEY muttered under THEIR fan, "And hopefully we'll get that triangle to the afterlife he deserves and be done with him."

The Axolotl doubted THEY meant a serene eternal paradise. Pointedly, he said, "Which afterlife he goes to is his choice."

Afterlife law was his speciality. Not cases like "based on this mortal's good and bad deeds, which form has she earned for her next reincarnation?" or "has this soul earned entry into his religion's realm of the wicked, the good, or the heroic?" Those were decided on the local level.

Rather, he tended to handle inter-pantheon, sometimes even interdimensional, cases—like, "if a mortal born on one planet lives and dies on another planet, which world's afterlife has claim to his soul?" "Is a soul's right to return to her native afterlife forfeit if she's apprehended in another god's jurisdiction for crimes against reality?" "Can a death god in a dimension where wandering ghosts are banned incarcerate a ghost from a dimension where wandering is legal?" "How does a soul's right to claim an afterlife weigh against an afterlife's right to claim a soul?" "Who has the right to judge a deceased mortal in the first place?"

The Axolotl personally thought that mortals deserved to be treated as mercifully as possible—starting with respecting the dead's own choice of afterlife above all others, and ending with outlawing damnation at the interdimensional level.

The rest of the multiverse... didn't agree with him yet. He didn't intend to stop until they did.

He went on, "Case law has long established that unless the dead made other arrangements premortem, they will be taken to—in order—the afterlife of their birth, their death, or their choice. The afterlife under whose jurisdiction the triangle lived and died has been destroyed, so he can go to any afterlife that says they're willing to take him, whether or not you think it's what he deserves—"

VENDOR's camera rolled and THEY impatiently beeped acknowledgment. "Do you mind, I'm on the phone." THEY turned THEIR back on the Axolotl to focus on THEIR next call. Yeah, most gods didn't like being told they couldn't just smite and damn whoever they felt like.

The storm cloud called the Axolotl's attention with a fork of lightning. It said, "I'll need to help coordinate the rescue efforts with VENDOR. I can get the report on what you learned in there from the engineering inspector; but you need to go talk to some of the witnesses of the fire. Maybe you should ask the Vitruvian Mandala when He's free."

That was the second time it had told him to talk to the refugees. "Why?"

"You said that yellow triangle's your friend, right?"

"I... did, yes."

The cloud didn't explain any further. It only said, "Be careful around him."

####

VENDOR bustled around making preparations to receive ten million new refugees with absolutely no input from anyone else on the scene; the cloud's time was split between coordinating with the ATTF and getting a full debrief from the Time Giant on the conditions inside Dimension Zero; and left alone, the Axolotl found himself staring into the roiling barrier around the bloated singularity.

He swore, no matter where he looked, in the center of his view he could see a tiny, yellow, triangular pinprick of light, like an afterimage burned into his retina. No matter how deeply he looked into Dimension Zero, somehow his eyes always seemed focused on the triangle, making it appear nearer and then farther, like an optical illusion.

Be careful around him. He wished his Oracle were here to ask him questions. Helping her mortal mind make sense of this whole affair might help him make sense of it himself.

He'd seen the horror in the triangle's eye when he realized that he was the one incinerating the dimensions that had once bordered his own. He'd heard the sincerity in the triangle's voice when he said he could feel the deaths of every life that fell into his dream realm—the deaths that he himself was causing. He'd felt the guilt pouring from the triangle when he realized his efforts to save "his people" from being killed were what was killing them. Whatever else the Axolotl knew, he was sure the triangle hadn't meant to cause anyone harm. He hadn't started the fires on purpose. He just... didn't know what he was doing.

And "his people"—what did that mean?

Maybe some of the people in the triangle's dance party were from his dimension. The Axolotl couldn't totally confirm that they weren't; if the triangle had somehow survived, then why not others?

But it was undeniable that the triangle had been "rescuing"/kidnapping people from other dimensions, and he talked about the people he'd rescued no differently from the people from his own dimension.

Why? Had members of his species spread to neighboring dimensions? Or had his species come from another? Had his people established diplomatic relationships with cultures in neighboring universes, enough for them to consider themselves one people?

"Certainly not," said the Vitruvian Mandala.

He was a god from one of the worlds in Dimension 2 Gamma that the ATTF had managed to evacuate before the dimension was fully incinerated. Now, He was just another refugee, huddled with His confused, terrified people on one of the temporary worlds provided by VENDOR, curved uncomfortably atop the spherical planet. He had to be reeling from the loss of His home just as much as His people were—if not more, since He had known and seen and done and loved much more that any single mortal could. But nevertheless, He'd immediately stepped up to assist with organizing the rescue services, acting as a liaison between VENDOR and the 2D mortals to find new homes for them.

And some of His people had been among the ones dragged into Dimension Zero—which was no doubt why the cloud had suggested the Axolotl speak to Him.

The Vitruvian Mandala may have been a minor creation god (He'd only created a galaxy) but He was more than powerful enough to know whether any of His people had ever made interdimensional contact. The Axolotl had waited until He had a moment to spare from assisting VENDOR, and then asked Him about their relationship with Dimension 2 Delta.

"I seeded life on all the populated worlds in My galaxy. None of My worlds have ever so much as been colonized by another galaxy in Our own dimension, much less people from another dimension," He said. "And We're a young galaxy—the most advanced starfarers have hardly ventured beyond their own solar systems; none have left Our dimension."

"And they've never spoken to other dimensions...?"

"No. The first contact We ever had with 'Dimension 2 Delta'—or what was left of it—was when the Magister Mentium began dragging My people into his underworld. The leaders I've had a chance to speak to from Dimension 2 Epsilon and Dimension 2 Zeta have told Me the same. " He called the triangle 'Magister Mentium' without any of the halting awkwardness the Axolotl did, or even the self-consciousness the triangle himself did. The Vitruvian Mandala had never known the triangle as anything but the Magister Mentium—and in His voice, it sounded not like an oversized title for a tiny triangle, but like the name of a fellow god.

But—the Axolotl had only asked the Vitruvian Mandala about Dimension 2 Delta. He hadn't brought up the Magister Mentium, nor mentioned that he was asking about the kidnapped people. "How did you know about the Magister Mentium?"

The Vitruvian Mandala said simply, "Because he introduced himself to My people before he started stealing them."

At the Axolotl's shocked silence, He said, "Do you want to see what they saw?"

####

When the agents with the ATTF had started interviewing survivors about the cosmic fire, naturally, they'd first approached the other gods for information. And then the gods had approached the mortals under their charge to get their testimonies and pass them on to the apoc agents.

The Vitruvian Mandala had telepathically extracted His people's memories and copied them into tiny glassy discs with brass rims. He sifted through dozens of discs before offering the memory of a narrow rhombus from one of His most technologically advance worlds; and the Axolotl stared through the disk to experience the mortal's memory.

The memory started with a sight that had become all too familiar to the Axolotl: a distant line of burning blue fire. It took a moment for the Axolotl to orient himself to the mortal's razor-thin two-dimensional view of her world; but once he did, he realized that, from her perspective, it wasn't a line of light. To her, it was the entire sky. The constellations of faraway flat stars had vanished, and their place was taken by an inferno.

The whole world reeked of a stench that the rhombus didn't recognize, but that the Axolotl did: burning hydrogen. In most dimensions, three-fourths of all the matter in the entire universe—including the very stars themselves—consisted of hydrogen molecules. Hydrogen burned a pale blue. The stench in the air, the pale blue light filling the sky, was the smell and sight of the raw materials of reality itself burning away.

The nearby buildings had emptied into the city streets as people abandoned their work to coming outside and stare at the burning sky. Somewhere—it seemed very far away—people were screaming, sirens were wailing, government proclamations were issuing out of radios and loudspeakers; but on these streets, on the border of the city where the sky was most visible, everyone was horribly silent.

An eerie feeling of unreality hung over the world. It felt like a scene out of a dream. The rhombus's heart filled with dread. She didn't understand why or how the sky was burning, but she felt in her bones that it must mean the end of the world.

She never imagined that it was the end of the entire universe.

And then, more real than reality itself, bright enough to blind, a radioactive-yellow shape appeared in the middle of the crowd. Over the gasps of shock, a voice that echoed between the buildings proclaimed, "Gooood evening! Lines, bis, and tris; quads, quints, and more—my beloved believers and my new friends—I'm sure you all recognize my voice from the news, but it's a pleasure to finally meet you all in the flesh!"

She wasn't sure he had any flesh to meet. He was ghostlike, as insubstantial as smoke—and just as formless as smoke, too: his shape constantly shimmered and shifted and distorted, his skin appearing and disappearing as his internal organs were exposed; one moment a leg visible, the next a hand, then no limbs at all, just his blindingly bright body. His organs were all wrong. When she could stand to squint at the specter's light, in the split seconds that his ghostly form was properly visible, she thought he looked like a triangle.

(She'd never seen the third dimension, never even attempted to imagine what a 3D shape might look like. She didn't realize his appearance shifted because he was a 2D shape tilting in 3D directions trying to lay flat on the 2D plane of Dimension 2 Gamma, and not quite succeeding. )

"Allow me to introduce myself properly: I'm the Magister Mentium, seer of the third dimension! Your gateway to the stars and stardom, your guide to prophets and profits, your mastermind and master of minds; and, if you're lucky, your new eternal party host! I'm sure the honor's all yours—but please, resist the urge to swoon! I have a limited time offer that you cannot afford to miss."

For all his self-aggrandizing, the triangle was still completely unfamiliar. She didn't see recognition in the eyes of any of the shapes around them, either. She doubted he'd ever actually been on the news at all, unless it was in one of those dubious programs about ghost hunting or UFOs.

But the triangle charged on regardless: "I'm here to bring you salvation from— Whoops! We've got a crying baby over here. Sorry junior, I'm on stage right now." She hadn't even noticed the crying until the triangle pointed it out; the whole world seemed dull and muffled and gray except for the triangle. One of his arms stretched in the child's direction and disappeared; there was a split-second flash of black fingers where the baby used to be; and then both hand and baby vanished, the baby's cries morphing into a shriek of terror that slowly faded into the unseeable distance.

"My baby!" a rectangle wailed. She rushed up to the alien triangle. "What did you do to my baby, you—" She tried to seize his arm, and let out a howl of pain as her hands burst into flame.

"Calm down, Mama, your little brat's okay!" He reached out and flicked the rectangle back. His finger hit her with the force of a catapult. She tumbled away from him through dimensions unknown, skins and bone and organs turning inside-out over each other; and slammed into a nearby building, fusing with the wall. All that was visible of her was a thin cross section of meat. The rhombus couldn't imagine where the rest of her had gone—but she could smell the burning flesh.

"Too bad I can't say the same of you." The triangle turned to stare them all down, gaze darting restlessly from face to face. His pupil was bizarrely long, animal-like; and his gaze burned. She was sure that, if his gaze had lingered on her a moment longer, she would have caught fire, too. "We're burning time, people! Would anyone else like to be excused? Last call!"

There were a few whispers, but no one moved. The crowd was petrified with fear.

"Terrrrific! Then you'd better listen close, because I only have time to say this once," the triangle said. "Here's the deal! There's only two kinds of people: the ones who hate captivity, and the ones who love it. Oh yeah, there are people who love it! Some of 'em like inflicting it, some of 'em are too stupid to think for themselves, and some of 'em just want to do terrible things and pretend they had no choice!

"But I'm here to help the rest of you—you know who you are! You're the ones who never quite tessellated with the other kids! The ones who are sick and tired of your family saying you had so much potential and asking where it's all gone! You can feel the barbs of social obligation hooking into your flesh—yeah, you there, you know what I'm talking about, I see you!—and you'd rip your own skin off if you thought it would set you free! It won't, by the way—take it from a guy who knows! Luckily for you, my way's more effective and less painful! Probably!"

In spite of their fear, more than a few shapes had started pushing closer to the triangle. He was speaking to them.

"So if you crave freedom—from work, laws, morality, physics... death..."

More than a few shapes glanced fearfully toward the sky.

"...if you want to see the stars with me—then raise your hand! Reach out to me! Watch your enemies burn and escape to a realm of dreams with no rules and no responsibilities! That's right, this way!"

As soon as he said raise your hand, it seemed like half the crowd stretched their hands out to him —and the longer he spoke, the more reached out.

She recognized some of the people reaching out—some of them were her neighbors and friends. Here was a beaten-down pentagon who'd spent his whole life being controlled, and just wanted freedom from the ruthless monsters who used and abused him. There was a controlling circle who'd spent her whole life using and abusing others, and wanted freedom to be an even more ruthless monster. They all reached toward the triangle just the same—as if they'd been waiting their whole lives for an opportunity to escape. The desperate, the downtrodden, the dastardly, the barely daring to hope. If the whole burning world felt like a bizarre dream, then this must have felt like a dream come true to them.

But to the rhombus, it felt like a nightmare. She had to fight through the crowd to back away from him.

"No need to push! If you can't see me, just hold your hand toward my voice, I can see you!"

The smell of burning existence was growing stronger.

Was this a test? An approaching apocalypse and a shapeshifting god of light and fire offering a last-minute rapture. The sky was burning—what hope did they have if they didn't go with him? More of the crowd was reaching for him now—terrified of him, but more terrified of their fate if they didn't. The rhombus reluctantly stretched out a hand.

"Thaaat's right, this way! I've got all of you!" His voice was taking on an edge of impatience. "Just—come on already! Hurry up!"

She was at just the right angle to catch a split second glimpse of the triangle through the crowd. She saw as the person closest to him reached out and grasped his hand. She saw as the first of the triangle's new followers burst into flames. The unlucky soul crumbled to ash before they had a chance to scream.

"I said no pushing."

The rhombus jerked her hand back and hoped the triangle hadn't seen her through the crowd. He wasn't offering salvation.

Most of the crowd wasn't lucky enough to get a view of the unfortunate shapes at the front who were already learning what a deal with the triangle entailed. The rhombus could hear people, as though from a vast distance, calling out to the triangle: "Take me, take me!" "I'll do anything!" It seemed like the whole world was trying to get closer to him; she thought she was the only one trying to move away, until she made it as far back as she could, where the crowd was thinning out, and caught a few other shapes in her peripheral vision who'd moved the same way. More than half the crowd was rushing in toward the triangle.

But apparently, it wasn't enough to satisfy him. "Come on, people!" That enthusiastic voice, halfway between a salesman and a camp counselor, was gone now. His voice went shrill with anxiety. "What's it gonna take?! I'm offering you idiots paradise, why won't you listen? Why don't you ever LISTEN TO ME?!"

For a moment, even though the triangle was completely hidden by the crowd, the rhombus could feel his fiery gaze sweep over her. She felt the way her skin threatened to burst into flames, and she knew he saw her.

She backed away until her rear angle bumped into the nearest building.

"Fine! You've had your chance! I've found my people!" The triangle's voice dropped to an angry snarl. "For all I care, the rest of you can burn."

For every hand that stretched out to the triangle, a black hand reached back toward them—dozens and dozens of hands. "Let's blow up this popsicle stand!"

He seized his new believers' hands.

Most of them instantly burst into flames.

Most of the rest were either jerked away into some unseeable direction like the baby had been, or else the burning ghost hand they were shaking yanked something out of them, leaving behind a dry corpse.

Reality warped and distorted in ways her eye couldn't make sense of: buildings wobbling and spilling apart like they were made of liquid; people twisting together with the buildings in sickening multi-corpsed abominations.

"Whoopsie!" The triangle let out a shrill, tittering laugh. It sounded pained. "S-still gotta get the hang of that. Oh well!" He spoke louder and faster. "I saved as many of you as I could, doing the best I can here, the rest of you don't matter, anyway byyye!"

And then he was gone.

And then they were all awake. She hadn't known they were asleep. Whatever happened hadn't been a mere shared nightmare; it was as though the layer of existence that dreams happened on had been pressed into the layer of existence where reality happened, and she hadn't even noticed until the pressure applied by the triangle lifted and the layers popped apart again.

The layers had popped apart too hard. Several of the shapes nearest the triangle that he hadn't taken with him instantly died—the tether between their souls on the plane of dreams and their bodies on the plane of reality snapped like overstretched rubber bands.

The fused corpse abominations had been left behind, still tangled and mangled with the architecture. The buildings were charred. The survivors were covered in burns they hadn't noticed—everywhere the triangle had looked was burned. Anything the triangle looked through was burned.

She was covered in burns. She could feel the burning inside her body. She raised her hands to her face and felt it peeling off.

She couldn't even feel the bright blue fires roaring down from the heavens.

And then something else lifted her out of the world, just before the reality around them began to burn.

She didn't know where all the people the triangle had taken had gone. But as she blacked out, of one thing she was sure: this higher dimension he'd claimed to see, this realm of stars and dreams? They weren't there.

Wherever they were, they'd gone down.

####

When the Axolotl emerged from the recorded memory, he was dizzy with horror. He had to lay down on the prefab planet next to the Vitruvian Mandala while he reeled.

"Are you all right?" the Vitruvian Mandala asked.

Broken, the Axolotl said, "he threw a baby."

"I know."

"Is the baby alright?"

Delicately, He said, "It's beyond the dimensions I'm able to sense."

The Axolotl curled his gills. Not the baby. "What about the rhombus?"

"Her body was too burned; she died shortly after this memory," the Vitruvian Mandala said. "But fortunately, only a small part of her ghost suffered third degree burns. With an ectoplasm graft she's expected to recovery enough to have a fairly normal afterlife. Inasmuch as any afterlife can be considered 'normal' for My people now."

The Axolotl had noted how many ghosts were mingling with the living mortals when he arrived on this planet. He hadn't wanted to say anything; he didn't know whether that was normal for their people. "I can give you the contact rituals of some interdimensional psychopomps I respect. Very professional and compassionate gods." Although they'd be cursing the Axolotl's name for millennia for throwing so much work on their desks.

"I'd appreciate that. Thank you."

The Axolotl returned the memory disc to the Vitruvian Mandala; He momentarily stared into it Himself before returning it to His collection. "He gave speeches like this all across My populated worlds. I've retrieved thousands of memories like this from My people." His voice shook; the Axolotl couldn't tell if it was with anger or grief. "There would have been more—if more had survived."

"I'm so sorry." He didn't know what else he could do for the poor god but be sorry. All the senseless, slapdash slaughter. All of it so casual and accidental.

"Why?" the Vitruvian Mandala demanded. "He didn't speak like he meant My people harm, but he couldn't have done them more harm if he'd tried! I've never heard of him before—what is he, some malevolent trickster god? Why did he do it"

"Because... he thought he was saving them." That was the only thing the Axolotl could cling to.

####

(Thanks for reading!! If the art lured you in and this is the first chapter you read, this is part 5 of a 7-or-8-or-9 part fic that keeps getting more parts, about the Axolotl in the immediate aftermath of the Euclidean Massacre. I'll be posting one chapter a week, Fridays 5pm CST, so stick around if you wanna watch the Axolotl run out of ways to pretend Bill didn't destroy his own dimension.

It's ALSO chapter 65 of an ongoing post-canon post-TBOB very-reluctantly-human Bill fic. So if you wanna read more of me writing Bill, check it out. If you're not sold on the idea of a human Bill fic, I've also got a one-shot about normal triangle Bill escaping the Theraprism if you wanna read that.

If this is NOT your first time here and you already knew all of the above: Bill got SO CLOSE to looking like a misguided good guy last chapter, and that's why he had to throw a baby.

No actually it was because it seemed really really funny. Flipped that flat little thing like a pancake.

Due to real-world reasons, this is another chapter that isn't as edited & polished as usual, so let me know if you noticed any rough spots that need buffing. And let me know what you think! Bill with his cult leader persona cranked up to 100% is probably the hardest Bill to write.)

#gravity falls axolotl #the axolotl #(for the actual chapter)#bill cipher #(for the art. and also the chapter)#gravity falls #gravity falls fic #gravity falls fanart #fanart #my art #my writing #bill goldilocks cipher

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couldeatthatgirlforlunch · 6 months ago

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Just a concept, Yandere!Dimensional traveler!Batman X Gn!reader X Platonic!Batfam, also wrote a one shot about this

Synopsis: Batman becomes obsessed with a spouse and kids that he never had.

Pairing: Yandere!Dimensional traveler!Batman X Reader; Batman X Reader; Platonic Batfam X Batparent!Reader; Yandere!Batman X Platonic!Batfam; Batman X Platonic!Batfam

Tw: English is not my first language; mentions of Alfred being dead; I'm quite new on the fandom so there might be some mistakes about facts of the original comics, but this is a fanfic so whatever; this piece is more focused on Bruce and the batfam while still mentioning reader; stalker and delusional Bruce.

Word count: 1,4k

Requested? No.

General masterlist

Yandere!Batman who is very VERY, extremely, lonely, touch starved and grim. He’s also very unlucky apparently.

He never even met Dick. Sure, he heard about what happened to The Flying Graysons, investigated it even, but he's only seem him on pictures, videos or in passing, but he wasn’t there that night, he never talked to him, or maybe he did while stopping him from killing Zuko, either way, never adopted him, our boy went straight to orphanage and was adopted shortly after by a normal and loving family.

Actually this universe’s Bruce never met nor connected with ANY of his children, all he had was Alfred, and yet… Something happened and…

Safe to say it's been long, never ending harsh years.

The only thing this Bruce knows is pain, loneliness and misery. Don’t talk to him about Alfred. Maybe he can't even look at pictures. When he realized he couldn’t remember his voice anymore… He WON’T watch videos or listen to audio of him. Yes, Alfred being gone was one more trauma to the list of traumas he will carry on his tense and burdened shoulders for the rest of his helpless existence.

This Bruce is a loser, closer to madness than any version of Bruce (aside from Batman who laughs). His Gotham is nearing it’s doom. He didn't join the Justice League because of his level of emotional masochism, pride and lack of will to get back on his feet. He is so used to suffering he thinks it's possible to die if he doesn't have such bitter companion. Safe to say, he is depressed. And hyperfocused on saving a city he’s been working in for decades, too blind by his grieving to see that he is not doing the right things. There is no social projects on Wayne Enterprises or Wayne Foundation to help people, he neglected the company decades ago. He is almost becoming Michael Keaton’s Batman in The Flash.

Somehow, one day he is sent to another universe. It can be through some disaster like Crisis in Infinite Earths, or some villain who wanted different variants of heros to fight amongst themselves to death, doesn't really matter here, what’s important is that he (after years of being a hermit on his cave) interacts with people, more specifically, he interacts with himself.

Or definitely a lucky version of himself. Maybe the luckiest. He is jealous.

During the whole event they interact and imagine how he felt when he found out that this other Batman has an Alfred. And he is so successful that he is a billionaire who uses his money to help Gotham get better (or as good as we know Gotham can get). Oh, and he has a spouse. And children. Plural. So many he lost count. And pets. Two dogs, one cat, a cow (?), a turkey (a what now?) and a fREAKING DRAGON BAT (WHAT THA FUCK IS EVEN THAT????!?!?????!).

He is also more put together (looks like he showers and doesn't skip meals). And less temperamental.

Okay…

Bruce is confused. When he comes back to his universe, with a spark of hope in his heart, he does his research. He could start actually making effort on his company and thus helping Gotham, maybe even be good enough as a vigilant that he could join the Justice League and make some friends (even if the other Bruce was just as stoic, he was the only one who could see on his micro expressions while talking about them how fond he was of his colleagues, and how much he thrusts them, even with his trust issues).

He could find those damn kids and adopt them. Find the one who somehow managed to make him open up enough for a relationship.

(He could also just work on his company, philanthropism, do some therapy, make some new organic connections or whatever).

He is VERY disappointed to find out that some of those so called kids and are already adults, have lived their whole lives without him, maybe some have been arrested or even dead, they have their whole lives and families that have NOTHING to do with him. Some don't even exist (the only explanation for not a single clue in months of research). And his partner, Reader, is either living their own life that doesn't allow space for him or also dead. He lost his timing. He is old and lost his timing. He is alone. He shouldn't have hoped so much that he got blind by the improbability of the small chance. The other Batman did mention that his family started growing decades ago.

He just lost another family. This one he never got to have. He wishes he never knew about them.

He hyperfocused on them for months for nothing (hey, It was hard to find info on the ones that don't live a very civilian legal life, like Cassandra, or the ones that never even existed, like Damian, or the ones that are dead — again maybe Cassandra, or perhaps Jason. Maybe Jason joined a gang just for survival or something like that, life on the streets is harsh, and he is not very lucky. And I’m not even being specific on what could have happened to every single one of the batfam. Also Tim is probably a CEO right now). No connection and family will come from all of that. Especially because he is greedy, starved, he doesn't want bits and pieces, he wants it ALL. He wants that other Bruce's life.

Yandere!Batman is born. He drowns and gets drunk on the pit of his own madness and he can’t get out of it. Doesn't want to.

He could… He could get rid of the people on their lives, brainwash them and make them a happy family. They aren’t vigilantes, they don't have his abilities, they don't have his intellect, it won't be hard.

Of course, Batman doesn't kill, but this Batman is looking for a change.

But they aren't what lucky-billionaire-put-together Bruce had.

Don't get me wrong. He is not just petty and jealous, nor resents Bruce for his privileges and better decisions, or whatever.

Okay, maybe a little. Why? Just why ones life was perfect (hello? Didn't you hear the part where he told you his own problems? Not even about the DEAD RESURRECTED CRIME LORD SON?) while the others had to draw the short stick?

But majorly he is just desperate, foaming at the mouth for a happy ending, and projected all of that on that poor random bat.

Now, enough brooding, back to solutions.

He could clone them.

Could work. Not exactly easy but he could just hack onto Luthor archives until he found how he cloned Superman and made that Superboy, Superman, or whatever he goes by now.

Again, not the same as the original ones. The ones he craves. The ones he wants.

Alfred is screaming in his grave about how Bruce, please, needs to realize that no one will fill the expectations he puts on them, not even the “original ones”.

Another hard, but better fitted solution is to… Simply… Find a way to go to that other universe, or one similar enough, stalk and study their whole lives until he can perfectly replicate “lucky” Bruce’s persona, and just… Get rid of him and take his place. Hello Alfred, hello honey, hello kids, daddy’s home.

Looks like he finally got luck on his side, maybe the sun will rise tomorrow.

Yandere!Bruce won't just brush aside that he is rusty and definitely not a better Batman then the other one, but he's got time. He will developt patience. But can he learn enough to trick his perfect vigilant kids though? Is he seriously thinking straight? I mean, the batkids are dope though. They learned from the best. As a proud (wannabe) father he knows they will be better than him one day, perhaps already are.

How much of watching their lives, everything that he craves, can he take until he snaps? How much of watching Bruce's interactions with them can he take? He swears he won't take them for granted when he has them, he will take care of them, protect them, be a family, be happy.

Can he really keep his distance?

Looks like another supervillain just arrived in Gotham for the batfamily to battle against, he is quite persistent though.

Like, comment and reblog 🥰

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perfectlysanexd · 3 months ago

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I haven't done one of these kind of posts in a while, but the expressions in Rebirth were top notch, and I wanted to talk a bit about and analyze Sephiroth's different smiles, both pre and post Nibelheim.

Nibelheim itself is difficult to gauge, because SOLDIER Cloud is actually Zack, and furthermore, some of it is definitely his own wishful thinking. But one thing you can say for sure, is that they portray that Sephiroth, despite being so emotionally weary, still summons up the energy to smile at his friend.

As soon as he turns away from Zack, his smile falls, and he doesn't give one to the Mayor at all.

However, when he turns back to inform the men that they're free until sundown, he summons up another smile for them. I don't think that he's just attempting to keep their morale up, he genuinely has affection for Zack, and cares for the others. He respects them for their service, putting their lives on the line for what they think is a good cause, and Sephiroth—as we saw in Ever Crisis—learned to be a compassionate person, who cares about the lives of others, even enemies.

Of course, he's deeply distressed during this time, the despair is eating him alive. Even Cloud acknowledges(despite having not known Sephiroth on a personal level) that he just wasn't himself once they arrived. But I'm not going to talk about my theories on all the Jenova stuff right now, that's not the focus here. Even at the window, you can tell he's feeling off, but when he turns to Zack, he attempts to smile again.

Sephiroth has never enjoyed his fame, and as we learned in Ever Crisis, he didn't choose it; Shinra made up bogus achievements and declared him to be a hero before even his first field assignment, as part of their recruitment campaign. Can't argue with results, I guess—it certainly got Cloud to join up out of hero worship, right? In EC, Sephiroth admits that all he ever wanted was to be normal, something that he knows he can never have. How sad...

So when this man wants to take his picture, it's no wonder that he's over it by then, and tells him no. And rather politely, too, all things considered. But even before that, he smiles and tells Zack that as long as he does his job, their young tourguide will be safe.

But as soon as he turns his back and walks away? Yeah, that smile immediately fades.

Which certainly doesn't change when the guy takes his picture. But of course, when Zack asks Sephiroth to pose for one, he just can't say no, even though he's not super happy about it. Anyway, he continues to smile at Zack for the duration of their journey up Mt. Nibel, making an effort to talk and even cracking a couple jokes, just trying to be a good leader and keep them in good spirits.

And of course, there's the very sad bridge part, where you can tell that he's genuinely upset that he failed to save the other infantryman that got washed away. He searches for him, but comes up empty-handed. Still, he smiles for Zack and teases him about a performance assessment, since their morale is quite low now, but they need to keep going.

Honestly, the Nibelheim part of Rebirth really did an excellent job of portraying Sephiroth's inner struggle. For reference, there are only 3 points in Remake, I think, when Sephiroth drops his ever-present, sometimes affectionate(towards Cloud) and often unhinged, smile: First, it's replaced with sheer rage as he kills President Shinra.

Second time, is when Aerith has a Cetra moment and suggests that his entire existence is "wrong".

And the third time is when he holds out his hand to Cloud at the Edge of Creation, and is rejected by him.

Anyway, back to Rebirth. Ignoring the bizarre smiles he showed us as Nibelheim was burning, as if he was in a trance and just not all there(that's a subject for a different chat), post-Nibelheim Sephiroth's smiles are interesting, too, if we consider what kind they are, depending on who he's dealing with.

For people he hates, like Tseng, it's much more unhinged looking, and very cold. You can tell there's a certain measure of satisfaction from shanking him, haha...

For someone like Aerith, who...I wouldn't exactly say that he hates her, but she's definitely in the way. I would almost say that he considers her to be actively preventing Cloud from recovering his true memories, leading him to remain as merely Sephiroth's "puppet", but that's a theory for another day. He looks at her coldly, as well, but it's a bit different. There's a bit more respect there than there was for Tseng.

And then there's Zack. Actual Zack. I feel like, deep down, he still cares about him, and has no intention of killing him. I almost sense a little...regret? Maybe? Hm. It's definitely a bit warmer of a smile. And of course, although he had many opportunities to get rid of Zack, he doesn't. Instead, he sends him off into the space between worlds safely.

And of course, last but certainly not least, is the way he smiles at Cloud. I know, I know. "But Sane, you like sefikura, so you're biased!" Look, I won't deny that. However, when you really look at it and compare his smiles, which is what this is all about, his truest smiles are always saved for Cloud. He has 2 different "flavors": pure affection and cruel affection. (There are also a few pity smiles, I think.) The former is used most of the time, whenever Cloud is in his sight, and the latter is used during moments when he's trying to control/influence him. I would almost say that he's...satisfied, yet regretful at the same time?? Like these:

And now, let's contrast that with his more genuine, affectionate smiles for Cloud... (The first shot here ⬇ can be contrasted with the shot 2 up from the bottom there ⬆, as the one above is when he's calling Cloud his puppet, and the one below is when Cloud goes to attack him and he opens his arms wider for the incoming uh...embrace.)

Remake had many interesting smiles from him, too, but that will have to be a different post, as this already has 30 screenshots. Anywho, you're free to draw your own conclusions, and not everyone reads faces in the same way, so maybe I'm nuts. Who knows? Either way, I hope you enjoyed this random, indulgent, very long post, haha. If you made it to the end, you're awesome. 💕

All screenshots were taken by me on my PS5. I won't ask for credit on them, since literally anyone can take an identical shot if they pause at the right second. (The exception are the 3 Remake shots, which were taken on PC with mods and the freecam. For those, I would appreciate credit if you use them anywhere, since I don't watermark them.)

#sephiroth #final fantasy vii #cloud strife #sefikura #rebirth

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jenny-in-a-jar · 6 months ago

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🌈 2 Days Until my Surgery 🌈

(Picture taken June 8th, 2024)

I'm very very excited for my surgery (it's my second gender affirming surgery but this one is more significant to me since it'll be top and bottom surgery) and I'm obviously counting the days until it and I thought some people might be interested in my trans journey 🏳️‍⚧️ I finished up most of the story yesterday so today I'll queerness bc it's pride month under the cut! 🌈🌈🌈

But you can read through my journey starting here

First, let's talk about this outfit. Yes, I bought the shorts and top at Spencer's and honestly you can easily find someone who matches it at a large enough pride event. But, it's hard for me to not be sentimental about it. Especially since I wore it at least once the last three years.

(Pictures taken June 11, 2022 and June 10, 2023)

And you can see how it and I have subtly changed these last three years of my transition. (Too bad I didn't have for my first year of transition but such is life 🤷‍♀️). And every year I get excited to wear it again!

Because being queer means a lot to me. I wasn't one of those people who always knew they were queer. But, I never felt connected to my cishet peers either. It's odd looking back and thinking about how my normal group of friends were cishet but at things like summer camp and then college I would quickly make friends with queer people. I really wanted to be like them but couldn't know why because I felt like I didn't deserve to be as cool and free as them.

But, when I let myself dive head into queerness I finally realized that I queer people are mostly awkward nerds and all of them just want to live their lives as fully honestly themselves. And that I could relate to. And that's what made it easy for me "to rip off the band-aid" and transition. It's what let me walk out into a world where I knew I would get hateful stares because I knew I wasn't alone. And seeing how other queer people's eyes light up when they see me showed me I made the right decision because I made them feel less alone too.

And making friends in the queer community is so much easier than in the cishet community. Because there's a lot more likelihood that they'll understand your awkwardness and admire your weirdness. I said earlier that I had gone to a few house parties and actually enjoyed myself for the first time. I think the best way to show why is this anecdote. I remember being in this circle of people standing around awkwardly silent and then someone said "I'm autistic and house parties make me uncomfortable can someone start talking?" and someone replied with how they felt the same way and how they felt the same way and then a conversation started about how hard parties are and social interactions in general but we were glad to be here and to try to connect with people.

And I love studying queer history a lot. Mostly because I'm curious how I would fit in to a time/culture in history. But also I love seeing how we don't fit in existed and how society understood our non-conformity. We have always existed. Queerness is part of the human condition.

The queer community is far from perfect. We all come from very different backgrounds and often have biases we need to work on. But, it's worth it to carve out your place in the community and to find people who understand and support you and to reciprocate for them. Because the alternative is being alone.

And we all deserve to feel loved, in whatever form you need. And because I'm feeling sentimental so here's a picture of me and my love 🥲

(Picture taken June 8th, 2024)

I have one last update before my surgery tomorrow where I'll look towards the future ✨

Next part

#trans journey #trans #queer #queer love #queer community #girlslikeus #ok to rb #transfem #tranzjen pics #transgender #pride #pride month

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nariism · 1 year ago

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gojo satoru believes that all good things come in twos.

he was the second half of his best friend, after all— part of a wandering soul somewhere else in japan spouting some bullshit about retribution. he hasn't quite been the same since 2009.

it wasn't always this way. never before had he been so endeared, so enchanted by the prospect of keeping things together just for the sake of it.

he remembers clearly the day this hyperfixation started, actually: a warm summer sunday in sagae with you dragging him along through the local fruit market. you picked out a bag of cherries, holding up a twin pair of them and dangling them in his face.

"they're sweeter here," you told him with such a fascinated expression, completely enamoured by the ruby jewels held between your fingers. and he savoured that moment, as mundane as it was, because your eyes were shining in adoration at such a perfect pair of cherries.

(also, when you ate them your lips stained a pretty shade of red that made him salivate.)

he realized that things felt more whole in pairs: two hands cupping his face, two charms dangling from your neck, two cherries infinitely sweeter than one. two hearts, two souls, two people who both belong and don't belong in such a wicked world cradling each other with a shared breath.

gojo felt lonely without another— in the time between geto's defection and your reunion, he missed the feeling of being the other half of a duo. nanami buried himself into work. shoko fared no better. he was utterly, shamefully alone.

he was a new person when you returned to him. a lot of things had changed. but despite the distance and the slow untwining of your lives over the years, you knew gojo to be stubborn more than anything.

"two dogs are better than one," he argued when megumi was first learning how to control his cursed technique.

"he's just a kid. making him responsible for one, let alone two, is crazy!"

"i'm telling you, megumi is no pushover! you'll see."

he was right. sometimes (and only sometimes) he does know better. two was better than one.

you could see it in megumi's face when both dogs pounced on him, licking him and wagging their tails. in fact, it was probably the first time you'd ever seen the kid smile at all.

so you went along with gojo, indulged him whenever he reached for two things instead of one: two boxes of juice from the convenience store fridge, two fingers locked together while you walk, two earbuds split between you so you can sing together. two hearts, two souls, two blue eyes fluttering shut when he leans in to kiss you.

when he asked you to move in with him, you weren't surprised in the least. you were also not surprised to see how he set things up around the house, nothing lonely and everything in a pair. gojo feels like you think he's insane. he might be.

being with you made him feel as normal as gojo satoru could ever feel in this life— breathing no longer hurt like water filling his lungs. it was as natural as you basking in the rising sun every morning. living didn't need to be justified anymore. he wasn't obligated to be the strongest. he just needed to exist in your warmth.

things make sense in twos. the world is less gloomy with you by his side.

it's unspoken between you, but you oblige to his strange fixation anyways: two slices of peanut butter on toast in the morning, two stars atop a christmas tree, two picture frames on every side table. two hearts, two souls, two people being each other's reason to keep pushing.

he thinks he loves you a foolish amount. knows he shouldn't be putting all his eggs into one basket. he might be untouchable, but you aren't.

it's inevitable. one day, gojo satoru will be alone again.

and it's a fair exchange for power; a curse he wishes he was never born with. if he had the choice, he would have picked you over limitless power without a moment's pause.

he doesn't have the choice. unlucky.

all he can really do is let you cup his face. feed him cherries. argue over how to raise megumi and tsumiki and live in your little fantasy of pretending to be a family. all he can do is cherish the time you have left together, regardless of how long. all he can do is hope you'll say yes.

two hearts, two souls, two matching rings (one white, one black; he was poetic that way). one meant for him, and the other meant for you— a promise to keep and to break.

he doesn’t care. you and him make the best pair he can think of, no matter how fleeting.

#— whispers in the wind ✧#if you recognize this as what was supposed to be the sae fic i changed my mind #it fits gojo better #gojo satoru #gojou satoru #gojo satoru x reader #gojou satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x y/n #gojo x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen x y/n #jjk x y/n

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missysverse · 17 days ago

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𝓦HAT I'VE SCRIPTED IN MY 𝓦AITING 𝓡OOM

Feel free to use for inspiration for yours - i'll try to update this post for more new ideas if anyone is interested.

𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐌𝐒:

✯₊˚༄ PORTAL ROOM — Each portal represents a different desired reality, with the name of the DR displayed on the arch above the portal. For example, one portal might read "Supernatural DR." When I step through a portal, I will instantly shift to the corresponding DR

✯₊˚༄ STUDY ROOM — a room where I can literally study for school relating to my CR, I have unlimited rescources available to me: textbooks, flashcards, notes all done (anything else I need I can literally just instantly manifest it), comfortable seating, big speaker I can use to play whatever music I want. I have a virtual AI tutor who can provide me detailed explanations for my subjects, orffer practice questions, mock tests, and instant feedback. I have an option to activate 'group study mode' where it will summon whatever people I want to If I want help with studying/get bored.

✯₊˚༄ THERAPY ROOM — Therapy room with Hannibal Lecter (he is not a cannibal or bad person is ANY way y'all.) He will give me good life advice, shifting advice etc anything I need help with - he knows me and my lifes well (only because I tell him about it), he also gives me good inspiration for scripting. He will also teach me a lot about neuroscience, psychiatry, psychology etc.

✯₊˚༄ LOUNGE ROOM — Here is where I can watch unlimited shows/films I want even if they don't exist in my CR e.g films I'm in from my fame DR, or completely new shows, or new seasons of my favourite shows that don't exist. There is also spotify on there and its the same concept as above - there are also playlists that are specific for my DRs and my relationships. There is also a section where I can go on that can play unlimited edits of me from my DRs, people from my DRs. All the edits are really well made and good. There are normal edits but also transition edits too. There is also a custom edit section where I can basically describe the edit and what song and it will make the edit. Not only that but I can also replay certain moments from my DR on the TV, I just have to think about the moment and then it can play or there are complimation videos of different moments from my DR. I also have unlimited games, books, vinyls.

✯₊˚༄ KITCHEN — literally where I can find unlimited food, any food I want will instantly manifest in the fridge.

𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐆𝐀𝐃𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐒

credits to someone from reddit for some of these ideas (I'll try to find the post)

✯₊˚༄ LIFAGRAM — instagram but for shifters to access multiversally, I can share pictures and videos from my DR on here and can see other shifters. You want to share a cute picture of you and your friends to other shifters? well you can.

✯₊˚༄ SHIFTING SPACE — I have access to videos and photos from my DR and it is stored on my ‘Shifting Space’ and also just any moments from your DR, you can also share edits of your DR and yourself on here with other people

✯₊˚༄ LIFATOK — basically a less toxic version of shiftok lmao (jkJk) but the same premise as LIFAtok but its short video where people mostly share edits or moments from there DR

✯₊˚༄ LIFAFLIX — other people’s and mine DRs as tv shows, you can also watch yourself in other siutations that don’t have to be your DR but other realities that you want to be in but you don’t want to shift e.g a reality where I am spiderman(??) so there's a film based on that scenario.

✯₊˚༄ LIFAFLIX — again like the other social medias, you can share longer videos of moments from your DR

✯₊˚༄ LIFATUNES — basically like Spotify but you can share your songs from your singer DR, you can also find whatever song you want there are basically unlimited songs e.g you can change the language of songs and change lyrics or any certain features of songs you don’t like

✯₊˚༄ LIFABOOK — basically an instant journal with unlimited pages where it will insantly write out enteries of my DR experiences, the dates, everything in detail which I can read back if I want to (although I can always just replay the memories on the big screen)

Last updated : 05/12/2024

#waiting room #reality shifting #shifting #shifting blog #missy's posts #reality shift #shifting antis dni #shifting community #desired reality #reality shifter #shifting motivation #reality shifting community #shiftblr #shifters #anti shifters dni #shifting script #scripting ideas #shifting ideas

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holnnetd · 4 days ago

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Catfisher!König Part 2

Part 1, ..., Part 3, Part 4(I swear it will come. Someday.)

Warning: Suggestive content, brief mentions of pornography, a little misogyny, low-key incel behaviour, a lot of lingerie talk, just two guys being losers, please be 18 or older if you read this, or just don't tell me you're minor, I can't stop you from going anything tbh.

This is only fiction, please remember.

Ding!

Your phone has been going off for this whole time. It must be extremely important when someone starts sending you messages at 11 pm on a Friday night.

You come out of the shower, hair wrapped in a towel, (unless you don't have hair, in which case idk what to do) and another one around your body.

You got lucky enough to get a dorm on campus with no roommates. Bless god for that scholarship. Dorms are expensive!

Glancing at your phone you check what might be so important, only to see that it's a follow request on your Postagram. (Idk, I'm scared I will get copy righted when I forget that this fic exists)

You open your phone, glancing at the account. The profile pictures shows no face, but a fairly cute cat picture. Whatever.

Alexandria.69 viewed your profile

Alexandria.69 wants to follow you

Alexandria.69 wants to send you a message

That's... A creative name. For sure...

You tap on the icon and glance through the profile. 8 followers from faceless account and following 37 accounts. Mostly singers and political figures.

The only pictures posted is from 2 days ago. It's a selfie from a high angle and a cropped off face in a summer outfit.

Seems to be a new account, maybe she's new to Postagram. Yeah, seems about right.

You tap 'accept' and answer the message she sent. Worst case scenario it's just a scam. What could possibly happen?

Well, that was a dry text for sure...

Whatever. You get a weird feeling about that anyway, 8 faceless accounts is a suspicious smount. You tap off of Postagram and place your phone away to fully dry yourself off.

Yet the black screen on your phone doesn't stay for a long time as you get another,

Ding!

You got a message from Alexandria.69

You turn to glance back at your phone, debating if you want to keep on chatting with this oddly uncanny account.

But you prioritise changing into something more comfortable and plop onto your bed, quickly crawling under the covers before finally deciding to check what she wr-

Ding!

You have 2 unread messages from Alexandria.69

Ah... just as you reached for your phone, too. It's really rude to interrupt the narrat-

Ding!

Layla send a message

Well, at least it's not that strange account anymore. And you open the text from Layla, a close friend, checking what she send.

"Geez! We're having a blast man, you can still come" she texted, then attached a picture of her and 4 other girls from your class, all drinking and probably at the club, guys behind them, hands going to place they'd normally get slapped for touching...

Ever heard of FOMO? Fear of missing out? It's funny how strong it gets, even if you believe to be alright alone.

"Nah, I'm already in bed" you answer, not bothering to go out clubbing tonight.

Ding!

You have 3 unread messages from Alexandria.69

Okay, what the hell does she want?

"We have some mutuals actually 😊"

"You know Layla right?"

"The red head, I mean."

Well, that's attention grabbing.

And with sone hesitation you type back "Layla, yeah", the message being seen immediately. Seems like she doesn't have much else to do but chat with friends of friends, hm?

"She said you're like good with guys?"

A message came back and it baffled you at the boldness. Maybe confused a little.

Uh... that's an interesting comment to make. Good with guys? Is that what your best friends is saying about you to others?

"Well, I guess?"

You tap, thumb hovering over the sent button before pressing it, now interested where this conversation might go.

"It's embarrassing to say"

"but I have issues with talking to boys and uhm, I"

"Uh... could you help me out?"

That's... A little pathetic, but everyone has to start somewhere?

And it's not like you have much better things to do. Your friends are out, getting laid and you are stuck in bed, chatting with a girl that knows your friend?

"I think so?"

"Oh my god, really? Thank you so much!"

That's a little sad, asking a girl you don't know about advise on guys. But girls support girls.

"Do you have a crush?"

"Oh, yes. He's handsome but I don't know how I should make him notice me"

"He says I dress weirdly."

Well, then drop him. Please, have some self respect.

"Alex, sweetie, if he doesn't like how you wear your clothes then don't change for him."

You try to give advice she will find useful, or supportive, pretty oblivious to the fact that Alexandria is actually Alexander. And not just any Alexander.

Alexander Kilgore, the very same classmate that makes snide remarks about your looks.

"Oh come on. Cooperate a little." He gruffs out, tapping on his phone again.

"I know, but I really want him to like me."

"Jeez, needy cunt. You're really doing too much." Rody scoffs, looking at Königs Phone Screen, both of them trying to lure you into a sense of comfort. Well, König wants to do that. Rody is just here to make sure the big guy doesn't fuck up. Which he already did by calling himself Alexandria.69.

Like really? His name but gender swapped and threw in a 69? Please...

"I don't know how to dress up to catch his attention! I want to wear something more revealing."

He writes, instantly getting a hit on the back from Rody. "Jesus, pushy much? No woman straight up texts other women "yeah, I want to fuck him, help me find something to wear so he wants to fuck me too", you uncultured bastard."

König huffs at him, glancing onto his screen as you start typing back.

"Well, if that's really what you want."

You're not going to argue with a stranger about what she wears. It's not like you know her. It's not like you that she's not a her.

"Try wearing something low-cut. Maybe flash your cleavage? You could wear some lingerie under loose clothes and 'accidentally' stretch a little to show it off?"

Alex stares at the message, reading through it several times with huge eyes. That's really what you are telling to a girl on how to grab her crushes attention?

Now he wonders if you're doing that too to grab your crushes attention. "Shit, I knew she's hot, but that's a little freaky." Rody laughs, getting this time a jab from König.

"Lingerie? Which one? I don't know what would look sexy enough. Do you have some recommendations?"

The two guys sit on Königs bed, staring at the phone like two teenage girls writing to a crush.

"Well... Most men like red. But you can't go wrong with white or black, really. I have some red sets."

That send König into a blushing fit. Fucking pathetic. Please, he watches weird hardcore porn but gets flustered when a woman talks about lingerie.

"Oh thank you!"

Rody texts instead, quickly clicking off of Postagram to ensure König don't milk this newly found communication method.

For now, you don't suspect that it's actually a pathetic virgin loser writing as a girl, hoping to get some more information out of you, maybe a picture he can jack off to. God, that would be fucking hot. He wishes to have even a single picture of you, and your posts are too covered!

All while you sit in your bed, confused about the conversation. That was... interesting to say the least. But whatever. Some girls are just awkward, surely theres nothing more to it.

Yeah.

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ellieluvr420 · 10 months ago

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Friends? Never. Pt.4 (Ellie Williams x reader)

SYNOPSIS: You and Ellie had been bitter enemies for years now but before that you were best friends. You had always planned to be roommates one day but when that becomes a reality the situation isn't exactly how you both imagined it.

"I don't know. They both look nice."

"You are so useless you know that? I have shown you five outfit choices and you have said the same about every single one. I need help." You whine.

"I don't know what to tell you they all look nice on you. You look good in all of them so just pick your favourite."

"Was that actually a compliment Williams?"

"No fuck off." Ellie stands from her slouched position on the sofa subtly looking you up and down but not subtly enough you don't see it, you feel hot under her gaze, even her stony glare caused butterflies to erupt in your stomach, the feeling sickened you. You had 5 hours until you were due at your parents but the anxiety had already taken over your body. You had been wiping your palms on your pyjama shorts periodically since you woke up, your body had a constant tremble and the colour in your face had drained. Ellie had walked into you having breakfast in the kitchen and questioned if you were ill because of your appearance. You didn't understand why now? Why after two years of pretending you didn't exist did your parents want to talk to you? You just felt sick and Ellie's nonchalance over your outfit options were not helping.

"Ellie please just help me pick an outfit. I already feel like I'm going to throw up."

"Why does it fucking matter what you wear? Who are you trying to impress? Your parents? The ones that kicked you out? Are you not embarrassed by yourself?" She spat the words out without even making eye contact before strolling out of the living room up to her room. You stand frozen contemplating her words as a single tear escapes its prison fleeing down your cheek, she was right really, it's pathetic but they're your parents.

This is a normal reaction, right?

Ellie threw herself down on the bed running her hands over her face. She knew she shouldn't have said that, it was mean and cruel and you looked the most beautiful in the third outfit choice that you had picked because your smile was beaming and you were giving playful twirls to show all angles of your favourite outfit. She should've just told you how beautiful you looked and told you to wear that one but she couldn't because she felt like she was supporting you going to your parents house and she just couldn't do that to you. Granted she never saw how them kicking you out went but she was told and when she saw you going back to that house, in her mind all she could picture was you being thrown out of there by your hair and left to cry on the ground. She'd rather leave Jackson than see you forgive them for that. Ellie told herself that was the only reason she didn't want you to go, but she was lying to herself and she knew that because the thought of you moving out to move back in with them sent her into a spiral so deep she felt like she'd never recover from the dizziness. She had just got you back and not only was she blowing it because she can't get out of her own way but she might actually lose you to them a second time. She felt a familiar sting behind her eyes that she refused to let escalate so she practically ran to the bathroom for a cold shower. She had been having cold showers a lot recently, it never got easier but maybe that was why she needed it.

You hadn't spoken to Ellie again that day until just before you were leaving for your parents. You had decided to wear the third outfit you had shown Ellie as you felt the most confident in it and as you walked past her sitting on the sofa she called your name.

"What Ellie?"

"You look really nice."

"Thanks."

She went to speak again, to say she was sorry and she didn't mean anything she said, to tell you she hopes it goes well, but you were out the door before she got the chance. She sighed and tried to focus on her film once again but all she could think about was what your parents were going to say to you.

"Thanks for coming baby." Your mum smiles softly at you from her place across the table as you avoid eye contact as you had since you walked into your old home. The dinner so far had been quiet, it was obvious they had something to say but they were both holding back, it angered you more by the second until you slammed your fork down onto the table and finally made eye contact with your mother and then your father for the first time all evening.

"Why have you asked me here? You've had no issue pretending I don't exist for two years so what do you want now?" You look at them hopefully, all you were wishing for was them to say that they were sorry and they were wrong, that they accept and love you no matter what. Over the course of the day you had actually managed to convince yourself that is what they would say, so much so that you had considered what you would do if that was the case, you had already decided you would continue living with Ellie but start trying to see them regularly and build your relationship back up gradually but the hopefulness and the illusion you had created for yourself immediately shattered as your dad uttered his next words.

"We thought if we cut you off you would eventually come to your senses and end this silly little phase of yours but its become clear that we were wrong to take that approach. Your mother and I think it would be best if you move away from that girl and come live with us. We can help you darling, make you right again." As he says his last sentence he places his hand over yours and squeezes.

Your heart broke. Shattered into tiny pieces that you feared would never find their way back to each other.

You felt every nerve in your body pulsing, you could barely choke out a breath, the family home you had always loved and cherished was no longer a safe haven filled with joy and love it was the darkest place you feel you could ever find yourself in. You don't even realise you've began to cry until a droplet lands on your arm, you look down to see your dads hand still firmly planted on yours and all of a sudden it felt like the whole arm was burning. As you slap his hand away and kick your chair back so hard it topples over your parents both rise with equally dissatisfied looks on their faces, they were looking at you like you were a child throwing a temper tantrum.

"Why can't you just accept me as I am? I'm nineteen and you're still treating me like a child that doesn't know my left and rights. Why can't you just love me? Why is your love conditional?" You're screaming but the noise barely reaches your ears, your parents rebuttals are blurred by the heavy humming in your ears. Their lips were moving but no sound was coming out, you were deaf to their pleads, their reasoning, you were deaf to it all, all you could focus on was leaving and going back home to Ellie. You know you're moving because you're no longer in the dining room, you're yanking the front door open and storming out but you can't feel anything, you feel numb, there's nothing inside of you anymore, the only thing that had kept you going was the hope that one day your parents would love you again but that hope had been ripped away in a heartbeat and now all you feel is empty.

You can hear yelling, and the ground beneath you is hard but you don't remember falling to the floor, your vision is blurry, hazy from the floods of tears that still haven't slowed their plight down your cheeks, you try and focus on the sound of the yelling until it becomes coherent words.

"Ellie! Ellie! Ellie!" It's you, you're screaming, the only word your brain seems to know at the moment is Ellie so you just repeat it over and over until you see the blur of a figure running towards you.

"Hey, oh my god, what happened?" She bends down on the floor and scoops you into her arms, reflexively checking for cuts or bruises or something to signal that you're hurt, but there's nothing, nothing except for the look of despair that painted your face. "Come on talk to me, what happened?"

You couldn't find the words, there were none, your body trembled and shook with broken sobs until your throat was sore and there were no tears left to shed, Ellie's hand never stopping the gentle circles it was soothing on your back.

"My parents, they- they hate me." Your voice is quiet and broken as is Ellie's heart seeing you in this state.

"They don't hate you. They're stubborn and backwards and awful parents but they don't hate you." You chuckle dryly at her words but she remains soft-spoken and gentle with you like you're made of glass. It felt foreign, no one had ever been this way with you, you had never wanted or needed anyone to be this way with you but in this moment you could feel your heart picking up the shattered pieces trying to mend itself as she holds you. She wipes the stray few tears still dampening your cheeks before beginning to pull you up from the ground with her. "Come on, let's go sit on the couch and you can tell me what happened." She doesn't wait for your response simply starts walking with you until she plops you down on the sofa seating herself right next to you and looking defeatedly at the broken look on your face.

"I thought they wanted to make things better, try and rebuild our relationship but they just wanted me to move back in with them and away from you so they could- I don't know- convince me this is all just a phase and I'm not actually a lesbian. You should've seen it Ellie, they looked at me like I was a toddler screaming because I dropped my ice cream when I fought back, why can't they understand?"

"I don't know, Joel always said there were places around the country that were really against anyone being different, those mindsets never left people I guess. It's not your fault though and you shouldn't beg for them to be in your life when they've proved they don't deserve it."

"I just feel like such an idiot, I honestly thought they might want to try and fix our relationship and somehow this hurts more than when they kicked me out."

"You're not an idiot for hoping your parents would get over themselves and be good parents for once in their lives." She spits the words with a venom as she imagines your parents shaming you over and over again and making you feel like you were born wrong. "This isn't your fault." She places a hand on your thigh and squeezes to emphasise her words before you gently place your hand over hers and squeeze back with a small smile.

"Thank you Ellie, really, and sorry for screaming the house down."

"Don't even worry about it. You scared the shit out of me but I'll let you off this time."

"Oh how kind of you." You snarked back.

"Andddd she's back. Missed you." She smirks and winks before laughing as you roll your eyes and rise from the sofa, before she can question you, you tell her you need to have a shower and wash the day off you and she simply smiles and nods before you walk to the bathroom leaving her alone with her thoughts.

She wasn't relieved, she couldn't be because your heart had been broken again by your parents but as much as she tried to push the feeling down it kept coming back stronger, you're not moving out, she's not losing you to them again, she shouldn't be happy but she is and that only makes her feel worse so instead she tries to focus on something different, anything to take her mind off of the storm raging around her head.

"Come down here I have a surprise!" Ellie calls upstairs to you with a giddy look on her face.

You walk downstairs cautiously, half-expecting the surprise to be Ellie jumping out at you and scaring you, something she used to do a lot when you were younger but when you come face to face with her at the bottom of the stairs you know that's not it.

"Close your eyes and hold my hands."

"Errrr-"

"Just do it. Please." She pleads with you and you defiantly shut your eyes and grab onto her hands as she starts leading you to the unknown.

"Ta-daaa!" She says it monotonously which causes you to giggle until you open your eyes, your breath hitches and you freeze.

"Oh my god. Ellie, are you serious?" Your face was like that of a child in a sweet shop as you take in the campfire set up in the woods that back onto your cabin complete with a blanket on the floor in front of it, Ellie's little metal tin that you recognise from the other night and a bottle of what you hope is very strong alcohol.

"Thought it would be like old times but better now because we can drink... and smoke." She mutters sheepishly as she fidgets with her fingers while looking at the ground where her foot shuffles the dirt underneath it. Under the light of the moon you can make out the rosy hue adorning her cheeks and the sight has you smiling the giddiest, toothiest grin you had done since as long as you can remember.

"Ellie... I don't know what to say."

"Oh don't go all soft on me now. Come on sit down I'll start the fire." She led you to the blanket and pushed you down before you could protest and then begins lighting the fire like she had always done when you were younger. Before long the fire is raging and you've drank enough that you know longer feel the chill of the cool night air.

You and Ellie both don't say much throughout the night, but the silence is comforting for once, it lets you breathe and process everything that had happened as well as you could when your mind was so hazy from the joint that you had shared and the bottle that was almost empty. You're swaying to music that no one else can hear before you pause feeling Ellie's eyes on you.

As you turn to face her, she doesn't look away, holding your gaze, you could've sworn she had leant in a little but you also could've sworn the world was spinning at this point in time so you're quick to dismiss the thought. She opens her mouth as if to speak but no words come out, only a small sigh and a shake of her head as if she was trying to shake away a thought buzzing around her like a fly.

"It's getting late and you've had a long day, you ready for bed?" You look at the dying fire and back at the girl before nodding and clumsily standing and holding a hand out to her. You only realise you overestimated your ability to balance right now as you're tumbling down to the ground on top of her as you failed to actually help her up. As the shock of the sudden movement subsides you both make eye contact as your noses practically touch from the proximity of your bodies, you expect her to push you off or at least laugh but she doesn't, she just returns your gaze like if you both look away from each other the world would end. Your knuckles brush against her soft, freckled cheek almost instinctively and she nestles into your touch until you both pause, your predicament finally dawning on you. You jump back as she clears her throat and sits up. "How about I help you up this time?" She chuckles.

"Yeah I think that might be for the best." You both walk inside, Ellie walking behind you up the stairs in case you stumble again until you reach your room where you turn around to meet her pink, tired eyes.

"Thank you for everything today, I really needed that. You're a good friend." You don't think about the words you use until you see a small pang of sadness that is gone as quick as it showed on Ellie's face being replaced by a quick smile.

"You're welcome, but seriously go to bed you look like you're gonna pass out any time now."

You blow a kiss as she rolls her eyes before stepping into your room and gently closing the door behind you. Ellie makes no move to retreat to her room at first, just standing staring at the wood of your closed door, she doesn't want this feeling to end and she's terrified that if she goes to sleep it will be ripped away from her never to be seen again, it had already happened once before when your parents had forced you both apart and she never recovered so she just stood staring at your door until she could pry herself away.

Ellie hadn't fallen asleep, she had tried to but there was too much going through her head, images of you being kicked out, you at dinner tonight, the dejected look on your face this morning when she snapped at you, the first time she saw you when you were spying on her as she arrived, the dinner where you bonded over music, the campfires you had made, when you laughed so hard at one of the worst jokes she had ever told you gave yourself a nose bleed. You were an infestation in her mind and all she could do was play the memories on a loop.

"Ellie are you awake?" Her head snaps up at the sound of your slurred voice coming from the other side of her door.

"Yeah, come in."

"Hey."

"You okay?"

"Errrr... yeah- yeah I'm fine. I just, I can't sleep and the other night when you stayed with me..." You trail off too embarrassed to finish your sentence as your eyes remain planted on the savage starlight poster above her bed, you had always loved listening to her rave about the comics, but she understands what you're saying and is kind enough to throw her sheet back and tap the space next to her in her bed.

You mutter a small thanks before climbing in and laying on your back until she whispers your name prompting you to turn and face her.

"I'm sorry about what I said earlier-"

"It's okay-"

"Wait, I'm sorry about earlier, I didn't mean anything I said, you weren't stupid for trying to see the best in your parents and I have no idea how it feels to be in your position because Joel has never given a fuck, so I'm really sorry."

"It's okay Ellie, really, I forgive you."

"Thank you." Before long you're dozing off as Ellie follows quickly also as you're both spent from the day.

You wake as the golden sun pours through the window with a small groan until you pause noticing you aren't in your room, although you had never seen it before you knew it was Ellie's from the savage starlight posters and book case full of them as well as joke books and records, even the balled up clothing on the floor told you the room was Ellie's and as you turn to your side to see her auburn hair flowing freely over her pillows your stomach drops, the last thing you remember is being around the fire and now you're waking up in Ellie's bed. You quickly check and breathe a sigh of relief that your pyjama shorts and top are on your body and not part of the multiple piles of clothes on the floor. You attempt to crawl out of bed without waking Ellie to sneak out as you fear if you face the girl now you might just combust but as your hear your name being called meekly from the bed you grimace and turn to face the now sat up Ellie that was scratching at the back of her neck.

"Heyyyy."

"Didn't think you'd be the type to sneak off without saying goodbye." She smirks as she speaks and your face drops. "I'm kidding jesus. You came and got in bed with me last night because you said you couldn't sleep, we just went to bed that's all."

"Oh... Okay, well uhhhh thanks again for last night." You fumble for the door handle and yank the door open the second you find it. "I'm gonna go to errr... my room now sooooo, bye!" You step back walking straight into the doorframe and wincing unsubtly as she fails to stifle a laugh before you practically sprint away from her eyeline.

Ellie giggles at your open display of awkwardness that you had always been so good at hiding before falling back down to try and sleep off the throbbing headache she knew you would be suffering with ten times more.

tags: @radioheadfan699 @readbydayana @emiliabby

psa: i never really include descriptions of things to do with the reader like the outfit so that everyone can imagine whatever they want the reader to be wearing but if you’d prefer I add more detail in that respect please do let me know because I’m happy to either way <3

#ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie williams #tlou ellie #ellie williams the last of us #ellie x reader #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams angst #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams imagine #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie x fem reader #ellie x you

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love-belle · 1 year ago

Text

sometimes all i think about is you !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which everyone knows that they belong together and it seems like they're already a step ahead.

for when you find your humsafar. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // charles leclerc x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - charles' version!!!! im so excited for this!!!! 2-3 more desi!readers coming out soon and then the next part of shoutout to my ex and then a new series for u all!!!! i love u, thank u so much for reading <3

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, carlossainz55, charles_leclerc and 797,628 others

yourusername sometimes all i think about is you

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≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, pierregasly and 799,625 others

charles_leclerc late nights in the middle of june

9,637 comments

username THIS AFTER Y/N'S POST???????

username OH MY GOD

username u couldn't PAY me to deny that it's not y/n in the second slide

username this is life changing

username yeah!!! im just gonna stay here!!! and have a breakdown!!!

landonorris interesting 🤔

-> charles_leclerc i'll pay you to keep your mouth shut

-> username lando SPILL 🔥🔥🔥🙏🙏🙏🗣️🗣️🗣️

username y/n and charles leaving their enemies who are in love with each other era and entering their lovers who just argue over the stupidest things era

username they're clearing tell us something and im here taking several seats to listen to EVERYTHING

username im screaming

danielricciardo 🧐

-> charles_leclerc do i have to pay you too?

-> danielricciardo that would be appreciated 👍

username NOT CHARLES PAYING DANIEL AND LANDO HUSH MONEY

username no bc the lyrics speak VOLUMES

username im so normal about this (AHSHSJSJJSSUJAJ)

username OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

username im so 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️💔💔💔💔💔💔💔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🫤🫤🫤🫤🫤🫤🫤🫤

yourusername nice caption 😐😐 very original 😐😐

-> charles_leclerc i know, i'm creative, aren't i?

yourusername nice girl in the last slide 🔥🔥🔥

-> charles_leclerc not really, she's really mean to me

-> yourusername maybe if u weren't such a dumbass i wouldn't be mean to u ever think of that???? no u didn't bc AGAIN ur a dumbass

-> charles_leclerc ...is this about me eating your brownie again?

-> yourusername OF FUCKING COURSE IT IS ABOUT U EATING MY DAMN FUCKING BROWNIE

yourusername ur cool tho.

-> charles_leclerc thank you.

username are we gonna pretend that y/n herself didn't confirm that it was in fact her in the last slide?????

username oh im going crazy

username this is so much more entertaining that race weekends 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

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yourusername humsafar 💌 ( lover )

tagged charles_leclerc

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liked by yourusername, landonorris, danielricciardo and 994,528 others

charles_leclerc ma lune ( my moon )

tagged yourusername

13,728 comments

username MA LUNE CAN YOU HEAR ME CRYING

username I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

username childhood best friends to enemies to lovers we love to see it

username i just KNOW their families just breathed a HUGE sigh of relief

username im in love with these two and they don't even know i exist 💔💔💔

username MY parents back off y'all

landonorris you tripped in that last picture

-> charles_leclerc some things are meant to stay OFF the internet

-> yourusername that was hilarious

username im so normal about them :)

username ADOPT ME RIGHT NOW

username fucking finally the sexual tension was too much

arthur_leclerc I KNEW IT

-> charles_leclerc you didn't know shit

arthur_leclerc her dad owes me Money

-> charles_leclerc i don't even want to know

username NOT ARTHUR BETTING WITH Y/N'S DAD

username SHE'S SO PRETTY I SCREAMED

username nah they're so ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

yourusername ur so ❤️

-> charles_leclerc you're so ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

yourusername we look so hot together

-> charles_leclerc yes we do 😘

yourusername meri jaan ( my life )

-> charles_leclerc ❤️

#f1 x reader #f1 x female reader #f1 imagines #social media au #fake instagram imagines #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x y/n #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc imagines #charles leclerc instagram au #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc blurb

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heartfullofleeches · 2 years ago

Note

Fast food reader having a yandere manager/boss??

What type of shenanigans do they get to and why do I picture the yan manager calling in the reader to their office and when the reader comes in the manager is laying on their desk in a certain "draw me like one of your french girls" pose with a rose in their mouth??

Oh God. Please not today. Standing stationary at your post, you dread the upcoming encounter with the customers next in line. The duo whisper loudly to each other, one nudging the other as they glance over in your direction. You pick up some words of encouragement over the conversation you're currently involved in and are fairly certain the piece of paper in their hand is signed with a heart. Why do so many people think this is a good idea? You hand the customer their change and ponder whether it's too late to switch to retail as the next guests approach. The one holding the note goes first. They slide it across the counter.

"Hey, uh, I've seen you in here during my lunch breaks and was wondering if yo-"

"I'm gonna stop you right there. You're not even the fifth person who's given me their number this week. I'm not sure if you're one of the normal one or the kind who tries to stuff me in their car after I get off, but either way you should probably leave before my boss comes."

The customer looks dejected, but their friend steps in. "You didn't have to be such an ass about it."

"I'm only trying to warn you, and save myself the headache. They polish a hunting rifle in their office with the door wide open and I'm about sixty percent sure majority of the people on the missing persons board are the ones from this exact scenario. I'd ask if you want to order anything, but you should probably just leave. They're always watching the cameras."

"Gooood afternoon."

Well- You'll be able to sleep tonight knowing you did your best.

"I was just checking in on things, and happened to notice the line forming behind the two wastes of space who decided to harrass my favorite employee."

One of customers opens their mouth to speak, but your boss quickly shuts them down."

"Mmm, yeah, sorry- I hear you, but to be honest I don't really care. Here at this establishment, we always strive for customer satisfaction, but employee safety is the most important thing and to bother our most valued member means I don't have to abide by any rules. Moral or otherwise. Kindly get the fuck out of my store before I make you crawl out."

"I'll take this." Your Boss picks up the slip of paper and gives them their best customer service smile. "Have a nice day!"

That smile becomes just a tad genuine as the customers bolt for the door. Your boss turns to you, pulling you from your focus on the cash register as they check you for any damages. Besides the beginning of bags under your eyes, you're relatively okay. Their shoulders finally relax seeing you unharmed."

"Good. In perfect condition like always." They gently pat your cheek. "My office. Ten minutes. Don't worry about the ones you can get to."

Stocking shelves can't be much worse than this, right?

The ten minutes go by in what feels like ten seconds. The door is wide open when you arrive. Your boss has already added the note to their collection in a jar on their desk, a red line through the pages you could see. Your picture hangs on the wall in multiple frames marking you as employee of the month for years with no competition. According to coworkers, that award didn't even exist before you were hired.

You knock on the door frame. Your boss lifts their feet off the desk and shoves them underneath it along with their aforementioned weapon. They sweep the surface clean with the same rag they used to clean it as you approach and politely folds their hands as you take your seat.

"Y/n, what a pleasant surprise! What brings you to my cozy neck of the woods?"

"You called me here."

"Well - yes, but I like to think we're closer than that. Like family. Heads of the household if you will. I understand most of your time here has been manning the register, but with all this attention you've been getting I think we should move you somewhere else. I'm not jealous or anything..."

They crack a guilty smile." Well, maybe a smidge, but this is mostly for your own good. Something like keeping eye on the stock or working the fryers... Maybe even something as simple as, oh I don't know- coming home with me and letting me take care of your every need."

You think over your choices. That cafe down the street is probably hiring.

#Sorta crack #yandere oc #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere headcanons #yandere scenarios #yandere imagines #yandere insert #yandere blurb #tw yandere #yandere drabble #Fast food reader #yandere x y/n #yandere x darling

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nex-ture · 7 months ago

Note

Naoto x male reader

Naoto has a crush on reader since childhood but he enevr approached him. And in the future he regrets it, so he ask takemichi to help him. When takemichi is in the past he tells little naoto to jump over his shadow.

And ever since naoto and reader are seen together laughing and cute stuff.

And the next time takemichi goes back to the futur Naoto is just thanking him, telling him how happy he is with reader

Naoto Tachibana x Male Reader

I apologize for falling off the face of the earth again...

(This took me 2 months to write because I am so bad at getting stuff done)

This felt like failure 17 on rescuing Hinata, but the two boys knew they were getting close. Even though saving Hinata was fresh on everyones minds, it wasn't the only thing holding in Naotos' attention.

Sneding Takemichi back to the past made him reminisce on his own childhood, his childhood friends. Naoto didn't have many of those. He was seen as the conspiracy theorist lunatic who was always spewing nonsense about unheard of things.

"Do you really think time travel is possible?" A young boy who looked around the same age as Naoto spoke, standing in front of his desk. It wasn't rare for kids to talk to each other, of course, but it was still shocking that someone chose this conversation starter with him.

"Well, yeah, it's not like we have proof that it doesn't exist, I think it's possible." Naoto replied eagerly. It was the first time he spoke to his classmates about something he genuinely enjoyed.

"You'll have to tell me abo-" the teacher calling for everyones attention cut Y/N short of his next few words. Quickly turning around and making his way to his desk. The class started, and they day went as normal. That was the only time Naoto ever spoke to the other boy.

Naoto was too scared to approach him again and ask what he planned on saying. He always looked so busy talking to other people. It felt pointless. Naotos daydreams were cut short when Takemichi walked through his apartment door. "I'm totally stumped, I have no idea what we can do from her." Takemichi sighed, plopping down on a chair nearby

Naoto looked away from the man just walking in, instead grabbing some old class photo he had shoved away in a drawer, circling Y/Ns face. Naoto stands with the picture in hand and looks over to Takemichi, "Why don't you try looking for ideas in the past, if nothings here, why don't you check what's happening there?" Naotos' idea bounced off the walls of Takemichis' brain. He knew he couldn't come up with a better idea than that.

"I guess I have no choice.." Takemichi grunted as he stood up to walk over towards Naoto. "Oh, and one small favor, when you find me in the past, could you try and convince me to go up to this boy." He hands Takemichi the picture with a little boys face circled, Takemichis face is mixed with confusion until he sees the saddened expression mixed onto Naotos' face. Naoto had a thing for this boy, Takemichi knew he'd Naoto at least something for all the work he'd done to help Hinata, so he agreed.

Grabbing eachothers hand and being sent to the past. Surprisingly, when Takemichi entered his consciousness, he still had the picture in hand. Walking down the street with Chifuyu to the park they always go to. The sun had started setting already, Takemichi took note as Chifuyu continued talking about whoever the hell Peke J was, Takemichi couldn't remember.

Reaching the playground, Takemichi took a seat on the swing set, Chifuyus house was nearby, and he quickly ran home before his mom on his ass about being late. "Any luck with Hinata?" Takemichi heard a younger voice coming from behind him, Naoto climbing onto the swing next the blonde.

"Oh, Naoto...hm, I've made some progress, but not enough to save yer yet." Takemichi looks at Naoto, saddened with his own response on the matter. He sighs, waiting to hear Naotos' response, but there's mothing. The younger boy stays silent, probably thinking of ways to help or what to do.

"Hey, Naoto." Takemichi blurts out as he starts to stare at the park in front of him. "What is it," Naoto looks over to the blonde with curiosity. "Do you know who this is?" Takemichi hands the photo of the circled boy to Naoto, his eyes widened slightly upon seeing the picture.

"Yeah, but how did you even get this? Prints don't come till tomorrow.." Naoto looks over at Takemichi, his certainty of Takemichis tame traveling abilities. "I just had a hunch that he might be of importance to you, and maybe our mission." Takemichi smiles brightly at Naoto.

"How would me talking to him help our mission-" Naoto was cut off as Takemichi loudly spoke his next words over him. "Just talk to him, alright! I know this'll be good for you, Tachibana." Takemichi began to take his leave, even though it'd felt like he'd only just gotten there.

Naoto watched him leave, heading home shortly after, though stealing glances at the photo every once in a while. Talk to y/n? How would that help save Hinata.

The next day felt no different for Naoto, but he knew he had to do something he wasn't used to doing...striking up a conversation. Y/n was busy talking to his other friends as Naoto walked towards him, y/ns friends cutting their conversation short, some look at Naoto as if he was an alien for just standing there.

"Hey, uh...y/n, you could see me after school. There's something I more or less wanna talk to you about." Y/n only noded in response with a small affirmative, and everyone, including Naoto, headed to their seats to listen in to the class.

The wait for school to be out was nothing short of dreadful for both Naoto and Y/n. It felt as if the words worst news was going to be dropped on them as soon as the bell rang.

Naoto was the first of the two to get out of class. Maybe it was the anxiety, but it felt like he had been waiting on y/n for ages. His anxiety seemed to worsen as y/n walked over to him. "Was there something you wanted to talk about?" Y/n gave a weak smile as he looked to Naoto.

"Right, my birthdays coming up...it's gonna be a space themes party, like Martian and stuff.." he giggled, gushing about his party while handing y/n a green envelope he seemed to have colored with marker. "I'll ask and let you know!" Y/n let out a dopey grin, grabbing the envelope with both hands.

Naotos eyes grew as he let out an awkward smile back, "I'll be dressed up, so make sure you are too, alright?" Naotos' question was answered with a simple nod from the other boy.

Naoto quickly spotted Hinata waiting nearby for him to finish his conversation. He sprinted to her while waving bye to his new friend.

Y/n opened the invitation as soon as Naoto left the secen. Hinata clearly wrote down all the information, but Naoto drew pictures of aliens and planets all over. God, he was such a nerd, that's what played through y/ns mind with a smile.

It felt like months until Naotos' birthday, when it was only around a week, he was dressed as an alien king. Around 5-8 other kids were there that were his age, but the majority were Hinatas friends. Everyone was in some half-assed space costume, some girls in sparkly "star" dresses, and others like Takemichi, who taped card board on his forehead and called it Saturn.

Y/n made his way to the party in green with some cardboard antennas he made the day he got the invite. He looked around, searching for the birthday boy. Naoto soon found y/n looking around. It's not surprising how fast he noticed y/n. It was the only thing he was thinking about the whole party.

"You came! And you're dressed up!" Naoto was cheering excitedly. No boys ever made him this happy before. Why did he feel like this. "Of course I did. Was I not supposed to?" Y/n teased back, making Naoto shake his head violently to explain himself.

"I have an idea, we should make you a crown so we can match!" Naoto beamed excitedly, dragging y/n over to where some kids were drawing. Naoto had always been a geeky kid. His party was full of all the things he'd enjoyed, conspiracies, the unknown, etc. Drawing and writing had always been big hobbies of his because it could always relate back to this stuff.

"Aren't you wearing the crown cause you're the birthday boy? I don't wanna infringe on that." Y/n stated as Naoto started drawing a crown like shape on some cardboard. "Well it is MY birthday, just trust me." Naoto began cutting out the pieces to tape together.

Y/n watched Naotos face closely as he placed the cardboard crown on his head. A giggle leaving both of them soon there after. Naoto had never cared for Takemichi. He only trusted him because he wanted to save his sister from this bad future possibility. But Takemichi forcing him to talk to you, maybe wasn't all that bad.

"Thank you, Takemichi." Takemichi had finally come back to the present after seeing you and Naotos crown situation. Takemichi looked around the room, seeing a figure by the bed in Naotos office, and someome sitting in Naotos desk chair.

Waking up more, Takemichi realized it was y/n. "I'm sure you're wondering who that is, that's y/n." Naoto looked at Takemichi with a smile. "Y/n won't remember any of the timelines, and hell it took me a long time to convince him in this one, but he will be an amazing asset for saving Hinata."

Yn gave a little wave, standing up to yake his leave so Naoto and Takemichi could talk in private.

"Thank you, Hanagaki. I don't have the words to thank you enough." Naoto grabbed Takemichis' hand and bowed slightly in a way to show his appreciation. "I'm glad you're happy with your new friend Naoto, about time you got one." Takemichi teased, with a smirk plastered on his face.

"Friend? Y/n is my boyfriend." Naoto stood up with a cheery grin, not oaying any mind to Takemichis prior insults.

"WAIT, WHAT"

#tokyo revengers x male reader #tokrev #tokyo revenger #tokyo rev #naoto x you #tachibana naoto #naoto x reader #naoto #naoto tachibana #naoto x male reader #Takemichi #hanagaki takemichi #tachibana hinata #tachibana x male reader

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