#I'll wait sitting for a long time
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Elulu is literally the definition of obligation, Elain has not only said that I don't want it, Lulu doesn't want it either, it's more Lulu is so uncomfortable with it that he literally prefers to be anywhere another place, Lulu has never done ANYTHING for Elain, he only acted for himself nothing in favor of "his mate", Lulu doesn't even know who Elain is or cares about her, Elain couldn't care less lulu and it's also funny how Elain is so sad when she's around Lulu it's like watching a flower wither in the sun 🫠
Also the fact that Elain has to give up everything for Lulu, just ask any Eluciens for their HC and they always backfire on Elain, I'm sorry but Elain already had enough like to run after a guy.
#elriel#elain archeron#pro elriel#pro elain#anti el*cien#Lucien looked at his mate and thought that she was not like the woman he loved#Please#I challenge a single Elucien to give me a HC where Elain doesn't run after Lulu#something where Elain is the protagonist of her life#I'll wait sitting for a long time
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the fact that shakespeare was a playwright is sometimes so funny to me. just the concept of the "greatest writer of the English language" being a random 450-year-old entertainer, a 16th cent pop cultural sensation (thanks in large part to puns & dirty jokes & verbiage & a long-running appeal to commoners). and his work was made to be watched not read, but in the classroom teachers just hand us his scripts and say "that's literature"
just...imagine it's 2450 A.D. and English Lit students are regularly going into 100k debt writing postdoc theses on The Simpsons screenplays. the original animation hasn't even been preserved, it's literally just scripts and the occasional SDH subtitles.txt. they've been republished more times than the Bible
#due to the Great Data Decay academics write viciously argumentative articles on which episodes aired in what order#at conferences professors have known to engage in physically violent altercations whilst debating the air date number of household viewers#90% of the couch gags have been lost and there is a billion dollar trade in counterfeit “lost copies”#serious note: i'll be honest i always assumed it was english imperialism that made shakespeare so inescapable in the 19th/20th cent#like his writing should have become obscure at the same level of his contemporaries#but british imperialists needed an ENGLISH LANGUAGE (and BRITISH) writer to venerate#and shakespeare wrote so many damn things that there was a humongous body of work just sitting there waiting to be culturally exploited...#i know it didn't happen like this but i imagine a English Parliament House Committee Member For The Education Of The Masses or something#cartoonishly stumbling over a dusty cobwebbed crate labelled the Complete Works of Shakespeare#and going 'Eureka! this shall make excellent propoganda for fabricating a national identity in a time of great social unrest.#it will be a cornerstone of our elitist educational institutions for centuries to come! long live our decaying empire!'#'what good fortune that this used to be accessible and entertaining to mainstream illiterate audience members...#..but now we can strip that away and make it a difficult & alienating foundation of a Classical Education! just like the latin language :)'#anyway maybe there's no such thing as the 'greatest writer of x language' in ANY language?#maybe there are just different styles and yes levels of expertise and skill but also a high degree of subjectivity#and variance in the way that we as individuals and members of different cultures/time periods experience any work of media#and that's okay! and should be acknowledged!!! and allow us to give ourselves permission to broaden our horizons#and explore the stories of marginalized/underappreciated creators#instead of worshiping the List of Top 10 Best (aka Most Famous) Whatevers Of All Time/A Certain Time Period#anyways things are famous for a reason and that reason has little to do with innate “value”#and much more to do with how it plays into the interests of powerful institutions motivated to influence our shared cultural narratives#so i'm not saying 'stop teaching shakespeare'. but like...maybe classrooms should stop using it as busy work that (by accident or designs)#happens to alienate a large number of students who could otherwise be engaging critically with works that feel more relevant to their world#(by merit of not being 4 centuries old or lacking necessary historical context or requiring untaught translation skills)#and yeah...MAYBE our educational institutions could spend less time/money on shakespeare critical analysis and more on...#...any of thousands of underfunded areas of literary research i literally (pun!) don't know where to begin#oh and p.s. the modern publishing world is in shambles and it would be neat if schoolwork could include modern works?#beautiful complicated socially relevant works of literature are published every year. it's not just the 'classics' that have value#and actually modern publications are probably an easier way for students to learn the basics. since lesson plans don't have to include the#important historical/cultural context many teens need for 20+ year old media (which is older than their entire lived experience fyi)
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"sounds nice... having a partner"
#the walking dead game#twdg#violentine#clementine twdg#violet twdg#MAANN when clem says this in s3 JUST WAIT BBY#people who say clemvi has no basis like ep2 isnt just them working as a team for 2 and a half hours regardless of player choice#like be fr#clem telling louis that violet patching up the back wall is ok because she needed something to keep herself busy. married behavior#vi asking clem to help check in on everyone while she deals with the wall. their shared smile when she comes back outside :)#and then they sit in the leadership spot together overlooking the yard and everything theyve planned together coming to fruition :)#sorry i just think their romance set up in eps 1 and 2 is obvious as FUCK and im tired of (Some) people pretending it isnt#'i havent seen her warm up to someone in a long time' brody literally tells clem that vi seems to like her after its been 24 hours#after shes been a block of ice for a whole year. and clem just melted those walls down immediately while they fought walkers together#violet is so devoted to clem post ep1 its embarrassing for her#'i saw she had you pinned and i- shit i got So crazy...' sorry if you dont think shes in love with clem idk what to tell you#'i'll tear that boat apart before we leave without you' i know you would girlie!!!#the animators went CRAAZAYAYAYAY the way they look at each other... their little smiles at each other....even before the belltower#the way clem looks at her while they dance.... the way she puts her head down on her shoulder so contentedly....#and then she keeps her head on violets shoulder as she pulls away so clems chin gets dragged with it like she doesnt want to let go#'so you never forget that night' 'i never will' they are DISGUSTINGLY in love with each other it makes me physically ill#its 2024 and im still hearing 'i just didnt see it :/'. lazerbeams you#spaced art 2024
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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~
#very random (not snz) haha but#does anyone else feel like their social battery fluctuates like. 0 to 100 with no middle ground or is this perhaps something wrong with me#i will go for weeks without having the social energy to talk to people i love and treasure 😭#maybe it's a lack of dopamine in general idk... would not be thrilled to add another mental illness to the list#but then i'll have a night where i am super talkative and happily reply to half the people i've been talking to#or times when i send off all my responses and sit at my laptop like when are my friends going to reply 🙂 i can't wait to talk to them 🙂#i apologize if you have personally been on the receiving end of my extreme inconsistency 😭#i have been thinking about it recently and i think that's in part the reason why i also gravitate towards long form conversations;#it feels mentally easier for me to deliver a meaningful response once in a blue moon than like sustain that level of#conversational depth on a more consistent basis? because i am inconsistent#but sometimes in the long wait between responses (which i have arguably played a large role in establishing) i feel unexpectedly social and#then feel strangely lonely 😭 (🤡)... truly i feel like i am lowkey a badly adjusted adult#this is not a catastrophizing post (though i did catastrophize slightly more over it in past weeks); just passive musings atp#i go through similar flows with artistic motivation but the highs and lows are not synced with my social energy at all#i think i am someone who likes to analyze my habits just as a whole because i really enjoy optimizing for things 😭 so this tendency in#particular really perplexes me#delete later perhaps because i know this is truly a yap post. (i apologize)#i met with a friend earlier irl and this might be the remnants of the social energy from seeing her or it might be a function of#the drink i had (strawberry matcha 🥰) if you have read this far i apologize personally
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it's starting to hit me that i'm going to have a career soon and like... that is like a wild thing to try to comprehend?? like yes i've studied my ass off for the past twoish months- to pass a test. but that test means i have job where i can sit and do my job? it's still a very radical concept to me.
#kate rambles from here on#the thing is- my family has always been working class- so i really wrote off college at a young age- mostly cause my dream differed#bc of wanting to make music and what not- but like they offered the course to me for free and it's sth i've thought about before and#i've been struggling not having a job bc of my plantars fasciitis (it's from stress) so not working on my feet = lifesaver for me#i am thankful for saving up as hard as i did when i could- bc i've been living off it until recently- where it's gotten too low for my liki#it's not that i'm complaining and/or changing my lifestyle- it's just i had been fighting to get a job that i could do that wouldn't kill m#to do- and i applied to this job thinking 'they're never even going to look at my application' bc imo i have no real qualifications outside#of customer service- but they did- and i've been in the process of being hired for the past 2-3~ mos- in two days it is tech the start of#my contract- in five days i'll be going near the big city to do my onboarding? and then i'll do more course work and like the idea that soo#in January- officially- part time- i'll be working at office? like is just a wild concept to me- i'll be getting paid for learning in dec~#and i just? omg... this is wild to me... yes i realize my plantars could strike back here- but- bc i will be sitting it'll mitigate it sm#it is still part time for now- bc i asked for it to be part time and work my way up to full time- i'm allowed at any time w/training to#move up to the next level- but i can stay at level 2 for hwvr long i wish if i want to- mostly i'll be working from jan to may#and idk random fact but after applying i got to learn that my grandma before she passed did the same thing- i really do take#after my namesake- hehe- idk this is a big ramble but it's just vv wild to me#(me over here “my first big purchase will be the byz's sgs” ((i could buy it now but i'm waiting for it as a treat~)) i bought their album#when i successfully completed the scary test~ so i'm using them as a motivator to work hard ebhbhea)#kate rambles#idk i'm vv proud of myself and i just wanted to share-
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me when i write a character who is prone to dooming themself and then they run off and doom themself. core traits are stubbornness and a willingness to disregard their own humanity gET BACK HERE IM NOT DONE WITH YOU
#rambling#surprisingly this is not about jakob.. im just really consistent about my favorite character archetypes 😭😭#WARNING THE NOTES ON THIS ARE REALLY LONG I STARTED RAMBLING#“ouhh i have a headache i'll just lie down and rotate my blorbos in no general direction for a while until it goes away” and then boom.#serious plot considerations. 2 questions answered 24million new questions raised. this is specifically Not what i asked for.#so now im sitting here STILL dizzy running mental calculations on how i can get this bitch out of peril without reworking everything#but they literally keep dying in every timeline 😭😭 every single plausible road leads to them running off and screwing themself over#“character who doesn't realize they want to live until it's way too late to look back” VS#“character who is forced to live and handle the things they never though they'd survive long enough to deal with” FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.#fucking hell i have never had this much trouble writing a character as i have with them#they genuinely do just run off and do shit without my permission and then i have to pace for an hour or two wondering#“ok they wOULD do that. but should they. do i feel like i can confidently write that.”#im like constantly in this tug of war trying to get them to CHILL#but also they are absolutely my favorite character from the entire project. but like. FUCK GET BACK HERE#is death the most satisfying end to this arc? is someone who was Set on dying then NOT dying the most satisfying end to the arc?#how many bridges can you burn until you irreparably set yourself aflame too?#would ghost or revival plotline work?? would it make sense with the worldbuilding??#do i just Like Them enough to want them to not die?? where do i draw the line between personal bias and a good arc?#is death not feeling as impactful as survival solely because i've been writing for so long that it's lost the initial impact?#and other such plot considerations...#im gonna have such an easy time writing another character though 😭😭 because THAT character's dynamic in the second act#is to stare at character 1 and be like “why are you like this. i mean i know Why but can you chill. please.” and like damn bro me too#actually wait no i think kaey.a is the hardest character i've ever written i take it back#had to worry about his 20million facades AND his Actual feelings AND canon compliance. shit is hard#i still havent finished the k/aeya fic i started back when the chasm first released which is uhh. two years ago. oops.#i think i struggle writing emotionally repressed liars i think thats what this is 😭😭 anyways.#(voice of guy who has been obsessed with nonlinear narratives and tragedies for several years):#“is it too much to kill this character in a nonlinear exploration game with tragic elements”#like bitch what are you talking about 😭😭 YOU'RE the target audience here figure it out#sorry the notes on this are just my writing journal now apparently
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Pepper has started to recognize his feeding enclosure, I'm so proud of him <3 <3
#Spider#Smartest little jumper <3 <3#I've had to coax him into the cap most times and then deposit him into the shaker myself but today he hopped right in#I tipped the lid of his main enclosure to be level with the lip of the shaker itself rather than the cap and he jumped in no problem!#And went Right to hunting the worm he's so smart <3#Pretty sure I had dreams of handling him last night too haha#I'm happy to wait as long as needed until he's calm and comfortable#Today's enclosure cleaning day as well :D Gonna be all nice and clean again soon!#Pleased pleased#I'll have to upload some more of his pictures soon I got a great one of him sitting on one his little magnetic logs#Cutest little lad - although he's so big now!#He's not even half grown but he's changed so much from when we found him!#Lovely lad
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It's been well over a week now (maybe two??) but I'm still plugging away (ever-so-slowly) at this vignette about Zara and Rook. Zara's POV is a lot of fun to write, now that I have a better sense of her character. Writing this has really solidified in my mind the kind of person she is and how she acted when she was Rook's captain and mentor. She's very calm and collected in comparison to Rook, even when under a lot of stress.
Anyways, have a little snippet that I'm proud of from today, featuring the origins of the coin trick!
Pacing back and forth across her cabin floor, she rolled the coin back and forth over her knuckles again and again. The motion was easy, almost mindless, more muscle memory than real intent. The coin trick had been her favorite way to soothe her nerves for years now. She’d picked it up out of idle curiosity after watching a street performer dining in a tavern in Bon Largo, who had chatted with her for over an hour as she fretted about something mundane, never once dropping the coin from their fingers. The same performer had later tried to steal her coin purse and ended up with nothing but a new scar for their trouble, but Zara had learned two important things from the encounter: Not to trust a warm smile and a pretty face, and that keeping her hands moving kept her mind from dwelling too much on worrisome things.
one-time tagging @space-writes because they commented on my tags about Rook learning the coin trick from Zara in one of my other snippets from this piece.
#morrigan.text#my writing#dnd#dnd writing#oc: Zara#<- I guess she gets a tag now#dnd vignettes#morrigan plays dnd#ngl this vignette is the first thing that I've written in MONTHS that wasn't the product of a single session of manic typing.#so I'm very very proud of myself for that.#it's currently 4001 words long which is a decent chunk!! And there's parts at the beginning that I skipped over at the time but want to go#back and add to at some point.#plus I'm still not at the end of it yet.#there's more I want to get to.#but anyways: I wrote 231 words tonight and I would have written more if not for the DM of Rook's game finally replying to my messages.#who know maybe I'll still write some more before I go to bed. though I probably shouldn't.#the street performer annecdote was probably 20+ years ago now... probably close to the same time she got her tattoo.#(yes Zara has a tattoo. It was an impulse decision when she was young and she regrets it now. Her crew doesn't even know it exists.#it's of a mermaid sitting in a clamshell and it's on her thigh. Very much a stereotypical silly sailor thing that she got without thinking.#She definitely regrets it and wishes it were gone. But thanks to magic ink that never fades it still looks brand new. So... RIP.)#don't ask me why I know so much about Zara. The funny thing is that I don't even know her backstory. The DM is keeping it from me until we#get to the town where she is. That she somehow became the mayor of????? All I know is that she has some kind of history with Wolf.#from well before Rook ever joined her crew. And that Wolf took Rook to get back at her for it. Whatever it is.#and I have no idea how the fuck a former pirate captain became mayor of a port town lmao. In some ways it makes sense in others it doesn't.#I guess I'll just have to wait and find out.#ugh I don't wanna wait though. I've been waiting to meet Zara ever since I made Rook's character over a year and a half ago.#patience Morri. Patience.
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a little personal project i'm slowly chipping away at, thought it would be fun to make it into a chart that i add a doodle to every time i finish a new character so i can track how i'm going with it!
by project i just mean i want an oc of each type. i'm not making a game or anything the positions listed are purely for fun HDJBFJFKE
#clai speaks#clai's ocs#ignore the doodle of cyril though that isnt final. it was part of me Trying to come up with something for him so i just scribbled whatever#its not what i want him to look like but yhe doodle was so cute i wanted to keep it. maybe i'll turn it into a different oc idk#the laguardia siblings!!! and clear's here too ig#anyone who's been written here whether they have a design or name or not have some kind of character established already#like while i have a couple concepts for a rock trainer nothing is concrete yet so that spot remains empty for now#but even though chase doesnt even have a finalized name or position i know he's a gifted psychic who just uses his powers to do art#mago and colbur are brothers and run their gym together like tate and liza. first explicitly dual type gym!#(striaton gym not counted bc you only fight one of the triplets there)#chip and cassidy are also brother and sister#corey and kalin are cousins#mago and colbur run a berry farm and cafe. cole runs a pizza parlor. polly makes jewelry out of bug-type pkmn silk and stuff#cassidy's research centers on tm/hm development. unnamed dragon trainer is a costume designer#corey is an actor so good at her job people joke that she's being possessed by her characters. kalin is a mischievous ballet dancer#chip i'm pretty happy with. he's supposed to be like a youngster that grew up and became more experienced#he used to be shy before setting out on his journey but grew immensely from it and became champion#goes back to the first town and mentors the new trainers bc he knows how scary it is to set out on a journey for the first time#hides his champion status so that the kids aren't afraid to challenge him#i didnt want to go too detailled bc it is super late HSIBFIF I SHOULD HAVE BEEN ASLEEP LIKE THREE HOURS AGO#i just really want to share these bc these concepts have just been sitting in my notes for like a year?#over a year. i started this some time after making alto#point is i've been sitting on these ideas way too long but designing them so slowly i dont want to wait to talk about them anymore#this chart is so empty rn but i will finish it!!! one day!!!!
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time to workout
#i am feeling a bit under the weather today so i'm choosing a video i know i'll be able to do all the way without dying#going on a tangent but i've never understood how to 'sit in your heels' when doing squats for example#like idk how to distribute my weight in in my heels#anyway im v proud of myself bc this is my 3rd time working out this week!!! that has Not happened in a long time#wait im going through the video there's a plank row to pushup fuckkkkkk
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god i have neverrrr everrrr everrrr been a morning workout kinda person i usually always workout after work around 5pm-ish, but since its october now and the days will start to get shorter and SAD will no doubt set in this year i wanna try switching things up for the first time and see what it does for my mood and body and brain if i workout in the mornings before work at 6am before or after i pray fajr salah instead.
#SAD wasnt /as bad/ last year but i wanna try some things out ... lifestyle changes ... shifting a few things around in my day to day routine#just to see if it does anything. bc after i workout i am always always in such a good mood so idk. i wanna see if thatd work in the mornings#before work. bc after work i used to think id be too tired to workout but i never was. its always a smash. so yeah.#and people are always like ohhh mornings are the best time to workout and whilst i dont believe that theres ever really 'a good time#to workout' (bc ANY time is a good time to! in ramadhan sometimes whilst i wait for suhoor i workout at 2am!)#i just wanna see what it does for me if i DO workout at 6am-ish. it'll be HARD at first bc i'll feel sluggish.#but idk i think i'm quite self-motivated and self-disciplined so it shouldnt take too long for it to become a habit. hopefully. iA.#and generally i am a morning person i LOVE mornings (but never tried working out during them) so yeah. i get up 6am everyday anyway.#and pray my fajr and then have my coffee and just sit with myself for an hour before i get ready to go work. so yeah. i dont meditate.#but fajr for me is my silent quiet introspection time. its so nice and peaceful to just sit and pray and think and practice gratitude.#so yeah i wanna mix working out in with it now too.#ANYWAY. all this to say that its never too late to change things up in life! freshen your routine up!#faiza talks
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i did not survive the bloomfes meiko untrained incident
#OUR HAPPY ENDING TOO. COLOPALE DO YOU WANT ME DEAD TOO.#i'm so excited for bloomfes untraineds tbf more than for the traineds#BECAUSE IT MEANS LITTLE WXS REVISITING THEIR MEMORIES (PROBABLY)#AND I AM NOT SANE ABOUT IT#how i look sitting there knowing that since tsukasa got his colorfes last i'll probably wait a long time before he gets it but#hopefully not.... 🫶🫶🫶#ri says the less serious things. the tag#i'm working on more serious posts i promise. it's just so hot in here. i feel my brain melting. i cannot think.#wait no after a moment of thinking it might actually be fes emu story which is even worse.#but the first look at the clothes got me thinking oh it's our happy ending#well i mean meiko was featured in both of them so.#either way ksjwjssj emu otori stop being like that... stop...
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The T-Kiss Discord is live!
Come hang out with your fellow t-kissers!
#t-kiss#tummy kink self ship#I've been sitting on this for way too long ^^;#but if I wait for the “right time” I'll never get around to sharing it sooo here it is!
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I've accumulated just over 90 old dragons so if you want one and will give them a good home, lmk and you can have it for 10g/kt (or make an offer, food and items can be accepted too. you can ignore their AH prices).
they're sorted by the first number of their ID which roughly correlates to age. so like page 2 is IDs starting with 2 which are 6-7yo.
Rehoming is fine, all I ask is they aren't exalted- I'll buy them back rather than see them exalted. everyone here was at/near fodder price.
they're all here!!
#g postin#this is what happens when most have been sitting in hibden for a long time + i had s lot of free time the past months to stalk fodder floor#hopefully with new job I'll be busy and not get so many (rip to whoever i miss tho)#any dragons on page 6 r unsorted waiting for bio code ^^#dragon sales
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i'm actually going out for drinks tonight for the first time in ages but now it's been 4 hours since i sent a reminder/are-we-still-on-for-tonight? text into the groupchat and the only person who replied so far is the one who already said they'd be over an hour late because of work but i was the one who made the reservation so i feel like i need to be on time and the radio silence is doing wonders for my anxiety
#ramblings#and the other friend who said she was definitely coming also already told me she'll probably be late because she has dinner plans#i can just already see myself sitting there alone waiting for them for ages ughhgggg i love uncertain plans so much!!!!/s#doesn't stress me out AT ALL i'm so chill#and idek who else is or isn't coming bc we made the plans so long ago bc its a uni reunion kinda thing#so now i'm just sat at home anxiously waiting for ANYONE in the groupchat to reply and say if they'll be there on time#bc i don't want to just sit there on my own for an hour until the others arrive#anyways i'll just bring a book#to get the party started#love having anxiety so much it makes all the experiences SO MUCH MORE FUN#like stressing out abt something that hasnt even happened#anxiety#also this is the kind of thing i would never post on any other social media lol bc i would be afraid of sounding like a loser#but on tumblr i can be my true authentic loser self 💞✨✨#me? going out? it's less likely than you think!
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