#I'll start reading tonight

[javaghoul]

choujin x anon here! 🫡

i def get what you mean about it starting slow, i also felt the same and kept trying to compare it to tokyo ghoul in my mind 😔✊ once the pace picks up tho, i started enjoying it a lot more! the plot is more confusing imo, at least currently (take this with a grain of salt, bc i may just be stupid 😭), but it's still engaging! i definitely wouldn't say it's as good as tokyo ghoul, but i still think it has the potential to be really amazing! the characters are great and the art is absolutely amazing (i mean, it's ishida after all 😩🙌) so im still loving it even tho it doesn't quite match up to TG so far in my opinion

and i think there's quite a few similarities between eto and one of the characters! (not sure if u want me to tell u who, i don't wanna accidentally spoil anything), but i haven't seen anyone post about it so it might just be me who thinks this..... 💀 imo both characters share similar struggles, they're both in a gray area in terms of morals as seen by others, and their aesthetics absolutely SLAP in a very similar chaotic way 😩🙌

i'm not sure if i have a fave character yet (i'm a bit behind rn oops) but i'd prob say either tokio or sora? tokio is kind of pathetic but i relate to him a lot 😅 i also rlly like a lot of the side characters like nari and maiko!

if you end up reading more of it, i rlly hope you like it!! i like seeing ur thoughts on tokyo ghoul stuff, so i'm excited to see what you think of choujin x and it's characters if you end up reading more 😄

sorry for typing so much 😅 i hope you have a good night!! 😁

Anon, sorry it took so long to reply!

I bought volume 2&3 (and lots of other manga actually because why not? You're a bad influence 🤣). I still need to re-read volume 1 because I know I won't remember it, but as soon as I do: I'LL POST 💪

I started following the Choujin X tag on here, and it is bleak. Makes me feel a bit sad because it's such a drop from TG...like there'll be some beautiful fanart with zero notes. Maybe we can revive/kickstart it 😁

Thanks for leaving out spoilers! I'll get reading and see if I can spot the Eto. I did read on an old blog somewhere that there's a lot of sneaky TG references throughout Choujin X.

Oh I liked Tokio too! He seemed the most "normal" which ... Is kinda ironic considering lol. I wasn't keen on his speccy friend though. I remember thinking he was too perfect 🙄

Don't worry about writing too much (u didn't) and I'm not exactly known for being stingy with my word count 🤦‍♀️

[expelliarmus]

[indigos-stardust]

their autism clashes so hard (so do their traumas <3)

[oceans-beloved]

Meme dump yayyy🥳✨️

(off to make more now muhahaha >:3)

[thatswhatsushesaid]

it begins

[sincerely-sofie]

In response to my post mentioning being baffled by my younger brother naming a tynamo after me when he was playing Pokémon for the first time as a little kid, my boyfriend made a chart to compare and contrast + showcase the many similarities I apparently share with this Pokémon.

[zosonils]

apparently at some point it became my mission in life to have a flight rising dragon for every character from idw sonic

[becca-e-barnes]

I got a massage bar at the start of the week and honestly, I didn't expect it to fill my head with thoughts of using it on a really submissive dad's best friend Bucky 🙈

Because I imagine he doesn't really relax very often. His life gets busy, things are overwhelming sometimes and he rarely takes the chance to let himself decompress. There would be some small self-care wins though and the day he does his first face mask with you probably stands out in his head as one of his favourite days ever.

But I love to imagine him fresh out of the shower with his hair still slightly damp while his body is dry. He's laid on his front on the bed, wearing just his underwear, scrolling on his phone and you know it's been a long week for him.

He seems content now though, not that you can really see his face. The gentle arch of his back is so inviting, your brain reminding you of how it feels to trail kisses down his spine while he lies like this.

He's been so tense all week, you hardly know where to start. Breaking off a little piece of the massage bar and letting the fragment soften in your hands gives you some time to decide a course of action. Do you begin with those broad, tense shoulders and work from there down or do you want to start on the small of his back and work your way towards his neck?

As the solid butters melt with your body heat, filling the room with the scent of patchouli and vanilla, you decide to work from his shoulders down. You know you've made the right decision when you hear his content sigh at the gentle kisses you litter across the bare skin of the back of his neck.

"What are you doing?" The hint of a smile on his face carries in his voice while you settle on top of him.

"Nothing. Relax." The shea and cocoa butters in the bar have melted into a much slicker consistency, allowing your hands to glide over the broad expanse of his strong shoulders with very little resistance. You touch him gently to begin with, spreading the oils over the top half of his back before pressing heavier to work them into his skin.

His shoulders are as tense as you expected them to be but it doesn't take much to relax them. Your fingertips sink in to the soft flesh where his neck curves into his shoulders, rubbing in small, concentrated circles.

"That's nice." He hums, sounding truly relaxed. There's no rush with this. It can take as long as he likes. You've got all night to appreciate the man in front of you and you could happily spend every second just touching him.

It's fun to play around with the pressure of your touch. With one palm planted on each side of his spine, your firm, languid strokes up the length of his back drag soft gasps from his parted lips. Your fingertips moving in gentle circles however, draw a contented hum from his throat. The kind of hum that makes you want to cradle his head to your chest. He thrives off affection like no one else and it only makes you want to give him every ounce you can muster.

The most delightful sounds he makes come when your fingernails dig in while you trail the length of his back. He's always enjoyed the soothing feeling of a gentle back scratch but with each scratch, you notice how he subtly grinds against the mattress with a quiet moan.

He's forgotten all about his bad week at work, that much is clear.

"Baby, please." It's barely more than a whisper but you couldn't have missed it. He's done with the back rub and that's more than fine. You take take the spot on the bed beside him while he turns to lie on his back, noticeably hard beneath the underwear that you quickly discard.

Precum leaks from his tip and he appreciates that your hands are still slick more than you could ever know. One firm pump of your hand, rolling your palm over the tip is enough to make him gasp. He's neglected his own need for far too long.

"F-fuck." He groans, beginning to thrust in time with your hand movements, fucking himself into your fist. It's erratic and needy and the light blush to his cheeks gives away that he's embarrassed about his lack of self-restraint. Not embarrassed enough to stop though.

"God, you're pathetic." You tease, lost in the way the degradation makes him tense up. He gets off on this and so do you. "I bet you couldn't last if you were inside me right now."

His breath catches in his throat because he knows you're right. Hell, he's struggling to last right now. There's no expectation for him to last forever this time around though. You know he'll be able to offer you a whole lot more once he gets this out of his system.

"N-no. I couldn't. I couldn't last." He's so beautiful and he doesn't even know it. You notice that he's even more beautiful with streams of his cum rolling down over your fingers, desperate sobs tumbling from his lips and his over pleasured groans hanging in the humid bedroom air.

Afterwards, the man seems boneless. He's content, melting into the bed and once you've had a chance to clean up, he pulls you in for the softest kisses.

[cottagecori]

hey. send the message. do it.

[zukkaoru]

finished,, reading fifteen. and i am not at all prepared for what comes next

[miabrown007]

going crazy about kaz brekker hours

[comfysofti]

It's really late

And i broke my sleeping schedule over dungeon meshi

BUT I FINALLY FINISHED READING IT

IM CRYING

I HAVE SO MUCH EMOTIONS, IM SPEECHLESS???

HELP ME, IM SO OVERWHELMED BUT IN SUCH GOOD WAY

｡ﾟﾟ(*´□`*｡)°ﾟ｡

[your--isgayrights]

Probably a bit silly and you’ve likely answered this before, but do you think you’re going to come back to “at the Very least, the Wall will change?” I’m just getting into ORV and I want to read some fanfic! I promise I am patient but I’m hesitant to start reading something that’s abandoned. I hope this doesn’t come off as disrespectful! I completely understand burnout (med student here hehe) and there’s no shame is shelving a project for a time if it no longer speaks to you. I just wanted to check

You're right that I've answered this before but like it's totally fair to ask me again after how long it's been lol. Bc like I think about this a lot too and thus the answer/feelings I have about it kind of changes?

Like my journey with this fic has kind of been tumultuous because I started it before I had access to ADHD medication and a lot of my life can be divided into the Before times and the like Now Times where my baseline happiness/standard of care of myself is vastly improved. I outlined all of wall fic before publishing the first chapter and then the scenes I wanted to include took up a lot more time to create than I initially thought they would and that like frustration was really harmful to like my sense of being a "writer," I guess?

Sorry, getting into this bc I'm trying to articulate my own feelings to myself, but I'll tldr; it at the end probably.

Like when I first started wall fic it had like a strangle hold on my imagination and was a way I was able to articulate feelings about things in life. Truth is, I'm someone who has called 911 for suicide/self-harm of friends/classmates like 4-5 times before turning 18. There is this feeling of helplessness I always had as a minor that the world was always ending around me but even when I was up till 5 am making sure my friend got to the hospital ok without any way of really knowing except waiting for a text back, I still had to just buck up and go to school the next day. The emotions I have towards these times in my life really latched onto omniscient reader, because the way it discusses suicidal ideation and what can help with it rang really true to me. I love KDJ a lot, part of that is, in my interactions with suicidal ideation, his sense of narrative inevitability really describes the emotions behind it well, the feeling of "this is the only Solution that will Actually work" is sewn into the fabric of the universe as "probability." And I've actually been thinking about that term "probability" a lot lately, and how it relates to ideas about Narratives. We're always estimating the likelihood of future events based on past experiences, calling things "realistic" or not. But the function of this system in my own life has often been to convince myself to 'give up' on certain things, conserve the energy it would take to try them. Sure that has helped me when Ive not had any free time/energy in crunch times or big projects, but when something is actually important, giving up feels like shit to be honest. Which is part of why I really love and kind of idealize this character of Yoo Joonghyuk, someone who 'never gives up.' To me KDJ and yjh in wall fic represent these two radical sides of a spectrum where someone becomes unhappy by giving up caring about everything and someone becomes unhappy by never giving up on anything. KDJ is then sort of this love letter to people who give up on themselves, people who could never imagine living past a certain age and yet somehow implausibly remain. YJH is a love letter to people who have been left behind and are So aware of their choices and their power over situations that they blame themselves for things that were actually out of their control in the first place. It's these two different ways of interacting with helplessness and grief and fear, giving up knowing you never could have made a difference in the first place or being convinced you could always have done Something and blaming yourself for failing, constantly stressing about what you could have done and what you ought to do the next time it happens.

Codifying these themes into Characters is originally this fun way of exploring emotions I have about them and sharing the experience of feeling them with others without having to tear too much of my self a part. I feel like when we're young it feels like a sense of self is something like a wall, an image of ourself that we have Built and must put in work to Maintain from erosion. This sense of self and protection makes us feel distinct from other people, the line we draw where we begin and end in the universe, and they become rules dictating How we will Act and Appear towards others. Drawing these walls and lines is pretty important to KDJ's perspective in wall fic, but i now realize I had sort of started doing to myself? Towards the middle of writing it?

Just because I've been on the Internet so long, I know the sort of "narratives" of being different "kinds of authors" online. Because of this, when I started posting wall fic, something that was of a lot of concern to me was how I appeared as an Author to people reading. I honestly think now that the performance of things I associated with like Being an Author were more sort of motivated by a fear of failure and disappointing others than anything else. It's kind of only been recently that I've realized that I have a choice to do things because I enjoy them instead of the fear of not doing them, which sounds a little crazy/obvious to be honest, but forcing myself to be an honor roll student for like more than a third of my adolescence while completely unmedicated kind of made that sort of intrinsic fear of disappointing others the ole'reliable of Task Motivation. Participating in ORV fandom has sort of been this emotional tight rope walk for me of like. Kind of really desperately desiring validation from others but also being afraid of receiving it bc of like the pressure it then puts on to Keep Doing the thing that Works and otherwise feeling like a Failure. But obviously like creative writing isn't going to have the same like Fear/Urgency factor as life stuff and it shouldn't feel that way, anyway, tbh. I'm kind of having to like. Re-invent the idea of writing being Fun and Relaxing for myself. And the idea that talking to other people on the internet (also like. People in general I still do this at uni even) does not actually have to have like any performative elements or factors of like? Disguise? Because like my sense of self doesn't actually have to be a wall I keep building and have to repatch whenever someone comes along with a pickaxe like my sense of self doesn't actually need a metaphor attached to it because it just is what it is lol. Like whatever I am RN is my "self" and that meaning would only suffer under the restraint of comparison, lol.

It's been easier to like feel normaler/better quicker in like my day to day stuff, but because a lot of the time I spent previously trying to write wall fic lies in that like that brain space where I felt afraid and stressed out etc I think I currently have like an aversion to sitting down with it out of like a fear of returning to that mindset. Because I'm like looking it in the face and such I do have like strategies of getting over it like doing warmups or taking time to make nice writing spaces and having a name to/strategies to access the creative part of my brain, but that stuff takes time and because it's a lot less likely I'll have writing on the brain than go through my every day life like the process of becoming normaler/feeling better goes a lot faster day to day than in my approach to writing.

Because in my brain the progress of wall fic is a sort of gentle curve I've been trying to shape the growth of upwards, I wouldn't say it's abandoned at all. But also like because the next "update" is not really guaranteed and I'm kind of hesitant to force myself to commit to a timeline for finishing/releasing it, I think it makes sense to like hesitate about starting it as a reader? In terms of a sense of completion, the chapters are organized in such a way that each one concerns a sort of complete Section of KDJ's life/relationships, tho. Like, Chapter 1 shows KDJ and YJH's first meeting as kids and establishes the "soulmate" setting. Chapter 2 shows the life KDJ carved himself to thereafter, how he and YJH's paths have diverged, established the stakes of KDJ's current "world" in a way parallel to the first few chapters of wos/orv. Chapter 3 focuses on how the soulmate worldview and KDJ + YJH's characters/past interact with the way they view children/the idea of "childhood/youth." Chapter 4 is meant to show how that worldview encounters adult life/ adult friendships/relationships, but the final part of it is something I'm still working on a bit. The structure is such that I tend to bring the end of the chapter back to a moment of peace/resolution/settling in the "new world" after the events of the chapter and then writing a one sentence cliff hanger about what the next chapter includes. So if you want to give some of it a read but don't want to be left feeling too incomplete, I'd read up till before the last sentence of Chapter 3, tho that's a bit silly, lol.

I will say again and have said before, I don't mind that much getting thoughtful comments/messages like yours at all. Thoughtful in the sense of like, desiring a response from me as a person, I suppose? Towards the start of writing online i really like needed the validation of little comments to feel good about myself/my work, but now I realize that the thing I like actually desire that ao3 comments aren't often a good format for is that I just like talking/discussing these things with other people. Sometimes comments will make me feel more like an unpaid customer service representative getting feedback or a student looking at a quick note on my report card. The kind I like most are messages where people want to ask me questions, argue with me about something, share something of their own interaction with the text that there's room for me to interact back with them as a person. The thing I hate most is feeling like I care too much about something/talk/think too much to the point that people are tired of hearing from me/form a bad opinion of me.

So like typing this all out has actually put myself in the brain space of remembering some of the things I like to write about and feel and how the current part of wall fic explores them. I'm kind of setting up my computer and such to start working on it like rn actually, hopefully the like feelings I'm having towards wall fic won't evaporate when i have to go to my class in 1/2 an hour or when i try to reread some of what I've written so far lol.

TLDR; Wall fic isn't abandoned or on hiatus or anything, but I am super slow about it lol. If you wanna give it a read I recommend stopping before the last sentence of Chapter 3 if you don't want any "cliff hangy" feelings. Questions like yours that ask me to interact with orv/wall fic/related themes do honestly help me start thinking about it again and I'll probably try to work on some of it tonight bc of you so thanks 👍

[byanyan]

can't tell if it's just a good day or if this epiphany/shift in thinking is actually gonna last 🤔

[violetsareblue-selfships]

good morning!! <3

[myfancyfandomlife]

You know what would be really funny.

As the writer of Therapist!Gaster, if I, myfancyfandomlife, wrote a crossover one shot between my husband boy and that triangle bastard

Would anyone read that? Is it too niche?