#I'll set up the tags on desktop later

[beeleoblue]

Intro and Blogmap

Aka post i drafted the day i made this acc and promply forgot about. Lmao

Hi! I'm blue, or pie, or whatever else people want to call me. 20-something. Any pronouns except she/her please and thank you.

I run on a queue, not everything i post is something i still agree with and could be in reference to something completely irrelevant by the time it leaves the queue, i try to catch and delete or edit anything that i wouldnt post now but that doesnt always happen.

[I had a tagging system but i gave up on it whoopsies]

My ao3 is leoaveryblue (pretty sparse because I've only just started using it, my older fics are elsewhere)

No dni you can do whatever you want forever just don't be mean

(username changed from blue-leo-pie to beeleoblue)

@welsknightenjoyer - mcyt

@ashipcalledrelation - mcytshipping

@sunflowerpie - side-main. Idk what goes on here its just whatever

@beeleotwo - multifandom

@injuryfactory - whump

@localkakashienjoyer - anime (jjk, naruto)

@micrafy - minecraft

@beelangblr - langblr

ive got a few other sideblogs but most of them are private so eh

Also i have a neocities!

[desceros]

@fidgetyfawn hi hi so i thought i'd go and give you a very brief tumblr beginner/early intermediate guide since i've also seen some other people around here that may find it useful!!

i'm going to assume you know little to nothing, and this post is good both for people who are just looking to find cool art/fic/whatever, or for people looking to post their own art/fic.

click on the readmore here and i'll give you a bit of a walkthrough for how to get things set up and how to start interacting with people, as well as some basic etiquette!

THIS IS A VERY LONG POST!! pro tip: if you're on desktop, you can use the J key to skip down a post and the K key to skip up. youre welcome

so first things first, when you log in, the first thing you'll see is your dashboard. this is where posts from people you follow will appear.

dashboard management

i can't remember if this is the default or not, but i highly recommend you change your dashboard (almost typed dachshund ATD counter: 1) to chronological order. you can do this by clicking settings on the left, then dashboard (ATD counter: 2) on the right.

personally, i uncheck the 'shorten longer posts' option since it cuts things too short, and further down you'll see the option that says 'best stuff first'. turn that shit off. you'll miss a lot of posts from people you follow if you have it on. actually, everything on that preferences section can get turned off. tumblr is designed to be more curated, and those are all options the staff added trying to emulate things like twitter. they suck. turn em off.

how to find blogs to follow

so now that you've got your dash set up, it's time to get some shit showing up!! you've already started off right by following me, so i can see you know how to do that much. but in case this post breaches containment, i'll put some tips here for people:

if you see people out in the wild that you like who link their tumblrs, go check em out. see if you like what they post. if so, you can follow them. this will put their posts on your dashboard, and they'll get a notification that you've followed if they have those turned on.

once you find someone you like, check out who they're reblogging from. go check out those blogs. see who they're reblogging. go check out those blogs. search for things that you're interested in, and click on the people posting into those tags (more on this later). eventually, you'll be following lots of people who post things that you like, and now you can start really curating your own posting experience.

some people will have a DNI (do not interact) linked somewhere. if they do, it's considered good etiquette to give it a look and make sure you're not gonna step on toes. some people will have a "blank blogs"/"ageless blogs dni" on theirs, or say they'll block you if you're a blank/ageless blog. this is because a lot of bots will have a blank tumblr, so it's a good idea to make some text posts or something saying IM REAL I PROMISE and you can have "i'm an adult"/"18+"/"(your actual age if you're comfortable with it)"/"(an approximation of your age, e.g. 20s, if you arent)" before you get too in the weeds on following people.

sidebar, once you're blocked, it's a bit tacky to go find that person on other platforms or go on anon and ask why they blocked you. just move on and don't take it personally.

how to post shit

these are the buttons that let you post new shit. when you make a new post, you'll get the post editor popping up. it's actually pretty cool, hot take, but here are the important things to know:

put your post in the spot. i'm using the text post one here since i post either fanfic or nattering. you can add links to stuff, change formatting, font colors, all that. i'm not gonna get too into the weeds on that since this is a beginner guide, but there are other guides on how to do it slash you should fuck around with it a bit yourself. i will, however, show you the details of the "post now" button

post now: posts now

add to queue: tumblr has a function where it will automatically post things in your queue. you can find it in your blog detail page, which you get to via account>[click on your blog name]>queue on the right. you can change how many per day go there. a lot of people will have a cutesy queue tag (eg "i love queue" or something punny like that) so your followers will know if it's a queued post or a regular one. this is cute, but not necessary

save as draft: if you want to keep a post for later but not publish it yet, you can save it as a draft. it's in the same place as your queue, but these will stay there until you post it yourself. i do this a lot for posts that i want to keep for their information, or to save art to post for when i'm trying to break up an ocean of asks. very cool feature

post privately: this will make it so that only you can see the post. just a warning though that anything that goes online will be seen by Someone, so i wouldn't put like. deep dark secrets or your ssn here or something. (<- does not use this feature at all hahaha)

schedule: you can have the post drop on a certain time on a certain day. fun for flashbanging yourself later, or reminding yourself of something, etc.

if you put something in your post, it will be "searchable" on tumblr. that means if you have a post saying "i hate tmnt rise" then people who look for "tmnt rise" may be able to see your post. just a heads up. you can make your blog not show up in search results, but if you're someone looking to be found (e.g. a writer trying to post, or someone trying to make friends, etc.) i dont recommend you turn that on. just be aware that if you post things talking shit, you might get some people trolling you. just block them and move on.

if you click into a post, this thing will pop up. this will allow you to add a picture, a gif, a link, an audio file, a video file, a poll, or a readmore break (shortens the post like i did with this one to make it less intrusive on someone's dashboard).

etiquette note: if your post is going to be on the long side, Especially if it's a text post (for me this is around the 650-700 word mark), put it under a readmore. it's really annoying on mobile to scroll through a bunch of text. also, if you're going to post nsfw (which i will remind you, WILL show up in the public tags!) either have some kind of nsfw tag, put it under a readmore, or both.

tags

on the bottom of your post, you will see the option to tag your posts. some people don't use the tag function at all. i use it religiously. tagging serves two functions: organizing your blog, and sharing your content.

on your blog, you can search posts by tag. this is the best way to search your tumblr, which has a notoriously terrible search function. if you ever want to confidently be able to find things again, tag them something you'll remember. i have a list here of tags i use as an example for some ideas.

secondly, tumblr has a function where you can see what everyone is posting under a certain phrase. you can find this by typing a phrase into the "search tumblr" bar in the upper right. this will largely be posts that are tagged by that thing, or have tags that contain that phrase. (e.g. if you search "tmnt" you will find posts that are tagged "tmnt" but also some that are tagged "donnie tmnt"). this is how you can find new people to find, and fun art to reblog, etc. search for things you're interested in, then go through the tag and find who looks cool.

you'll also find that some people (<- me) will "talk" in the tags. the op of the post Can See These!!! so don't say anything that's rude or that you wouldn't want them to see!!! but this is a holdover of tumblr etiquette from years ago when it was considered rude to reblog art, let's say, and put your thoughts about something in the reblog as its own reblog. the old school of thought is that it disrupted the "aesthetic" of the post, so you'll see a lot of people put their commentary in the tags instead. it's not as obtrusive, but everyone can still see it. there's a joke that your tags will "pass peer review" if someone screenshots them and puts them on the post while reblogging, but that's usually something you'll see on particularly funny posts or creative posts or that sort of thing.

reblogs vs reposts

you will come across people who have "no reposts" or "don't repost my art" in their description or on their blog or on their art. there's a lot of confusion for new tumblr people on what that means.

reposting means that you are downloading the art/fic/whatever, then using the upload function and creating your own original post.

reblogging is when you take the post that the person made, and clicking on the reblog button (third one here):

reposting things is BAD because it does not give the op original credit and it makes it look like you created the thing. reblogging is GOOD because it shares art/writing/etc with the people who are following you, and encourages community. the double arrows are what keep community alive!!

on that note, likes are functionally useless. that little heart there does nothing for artist engagement. while there is a tumblr algorithm, it's terrible, doesn't really work, and! we've already turned ours off in the beginning, remember? most people will have done this. liking a post doesn't put it on your blog, it doesn't make it so that you can find it later, it doesn't boost the op's engagement. likes do the two things and only the two things:

op knows you saw the post

tumblr puts it into one giant unsearchable pile of things you've liked

that's it! so if you like a post, consider reblogging it. add that fun commentary in the tags we talked about! this is a really good way to make someone's day.

etiquette note; you'll sometimes see people who say "no spam likes". this means that they don't like it when people go through their blog and just hit like on the latest posts over and over and over. it clogs up the notification feed and makes it harder to see the engagement that actually Means something, e.g. reblogs, mentions, replies, etc. i personally don't have an issue with it since you can filter those out if you're looking for something, but if someone asks you not to do it, don't do it. also, if you do it and suddenly find that you're blocked even if you've not done anything wrong, that might be why. some people just don't like it shrug.

how to make friends

tumblr is a social media site, and while it's possible to have a great time on your own just reblogging pretty art and great fics onto your page, a lot of the joy comes from participating in community.

there's a good post here i reblogged the other day for some details, but here are some basic things for a beginner to know:

you can send messages to blogs you like called "asks". you'll find the link to it on the left of the follow button on someone's blog, and a lot of people will have changed the wording. for example, mine is called "request a song." you can send people messages, anonymously if you wish, and tumblr will let you know when the person has answered your message. they may do so publicly (which i always do!), so make sure not to put anything there you wouldn't be okay with all of their followers seeing. don't be rude. but it's the best way to start talking with someone. and most people are very excited to get messages like this!! so don't be intimidated!!

there is a dm system. most people aren't going to have it available except to people they're following, and it has a bit more of an intimate feel than an ask. personally, i only use this function for my mutuals (people whom i follow who are also following me), and i'd be willing to bet that's a common mood about it.

replies: just like you did with the post you started, you can reply to text posts. the op will see it, and you can start talking about a post without having it appear on your blog. it's a nice way to communicate without clogging up your dash/blog, and you did so perfectly!

reblogs: we already went over this, but you can also just reblog posts. the person from whom you reblog will see what you say, and op will see what you say. etiquette here is not to reblog posts if someone asks you not to, and to tag longer posts as "long post" so people on mobile who have that limited don't have to scroll as long

talk to people! be friendly! ask them about their day. if it's an author, tell them your favorite part of their last fic. ask what the inspiration was for this part or that part. i get people sending me songs in that remind them of character moments, and that's fun! draw art of your favorite scene, then tag the author in it! (to tag people, use the @ symbol, then type their username, e.g. @desceros tags me).

find people that are posting the things that you like, follow them, reblog from them, send in asks off anon when they reblog little games asking for them, just. you know. be social. that post i linked has some good ideas if you need help.

if you're coming from ao3, go to the author's profile page. a lot of us have our tumblrs linked there. go to their tumblr. follow them. send in asks about their fics. you'll often find fun fanart, or wips, or that kind of thing!

anyway i think that answered all the questions you had, but you can ask if there's something specific you were looking for i didn't touch. hope this helps!! C:

[mappishiina]

"Well, well... I suppose you need an explanation of how all of this works?"

"You should already know who I am, of course- your boss, the one guiding you in your job as the warden of MILGRAM? That's right, I'm the one and only Jackalope. You'll want to listen up, because I'm only going to explain this once..."

"This blog allows you to send questions to Mahiru Shiina, Prisoner 006. Think of it... like an extended interrogation. You can send them as yourself, or anonymously... whatever you'd like. Put your name on what you say or not, I don't care."

"As with how things work in MILGRAM regularly, what you say to her and how you say it will affect her just like your judgements do. This will help you to better understand the prisoner. After all, I want you to peer into their hearts and minds. It's best if you can truly understand them, in order to make the best judgement you can."

"Oh, and one last thing: this blog is best viewed on its desktop theme, if possible."

"I've also been told to mention that there's 'OOC info' under the cut, whatever that means."

Hiii. This is, as you can probably guess, an ask blog/rp account! Just real quick under the cut, here's a few basics for conduct:

I am an adult, but will not be answering any NSFW asks, and I also reserve the right to not reply to anything that makes me personally uncomfortable. This probably won't happen anyway, but I want to make my stance clear just in case. There's a lot of minors on milgramblr and running similar roleplay blogs, and I want this to be a safe and comfortable blog for everyone to interact with.

For consistency's sake, the current timeline of this blog is set in trial one. This may, and likely will, change at some point. I might jump timelines around later. But, starting out, it'll be trial one.

I try to stick close to canon in my characterization, but might indulge in a few personal headcanons here and there, especially to fill in gaps on things we don't know. If you send "magic anons" and things of that sort, I may or may not reply/go with it, depending- I'd like to stick mostly with the idea that any asks sent here are the "voices" that the prisoners mention hearing (so, not being able to physically do anything)... but I also may decide to indulge for fun. Basically, it's up to personal discretion. Just know it might not get answered.

This is probably going to be more of an ask-blog type thing than it is... a rp blog per-se, but I may dip my toes into roleplaying a bit on here as well! Other Milgram RP blogs can feel free to interact, and Mahiru will respond to any asks from RP blogs as if they were being sent by your character. I'll tag interactions with other prisoners with their number!

(I might do art for some asks as well, depending on motivation...)

Oh, and I'll edit this to put a tag index here whenever I figure out what I'm doing for those. Right now my ooc tag is simply #ooc, and any graphics I've used on the blog are reblogged under #graphics credits, as well as being credited at the bottom of this post.

Please just in general be nice and remember there's a real person running the account, and hopefully we can all have some fun with this!~ I've definitely been inspired by seeing other ask blogs/roleplay blogs pop up for MILGRAM, so I'm excited to jump in!

graphics credits: mobile icon + header by ameyumez and dividers on this post by 74n5n.

[mariyekos]

Writer interview game

Tagged by @dithorba a little while ago so sorry about the delay but thank you for the tag! Just took me a bit to get to this.

When did you start writing?

I want to say 2014ish. The oldest fic I still have access too was started in 2014, but I don't remember if it was the first I ever wrote or the first big one I wrote. 2015 was when I started really getting into writing. I didn't post any of my writing to 2016, but I'd written tens of thousands of words by then. That 2014 fic got to 38k before I set it aside! (It was a time travel fic which hadn't even gotten to the time travel part 😅)

Though actually looking at the question again... sure I started writing fic in around 2014, but I actually started writing for fun before that! I had a teacher in elementary school, probably 5th or 6th grade, who encouraged me to write a story. I don't remember why she did, but I probably just liked writing so much that she recommended I have an outlet for that. I started with some original fiction that I want to say was something about people deserted on an island or something. In eighth grade I had another writing assignment that I'm pretty sure ended up being 25 pages long when the requirement was probably something like 5-10. After that I got into fic, and besides two or so original stories that never made it past 5k, I've stuck with it since.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write? -

I'm not good at writing romance and don't usually write romance, but I enjoy reading about romances. Generally I still prioritize plot over romance though. Once I got a book that was definitely a romance first novel and let me tell you, I was really annoyed when the MCs decide they wanted to storm out of the conference room to have sex in the hallway when they were in the middle of interrogating the guy who'd killed the POV MC's mother and was plotting the murder of a bunch of other people. There are times and places to do that! Don't do that when we have plot going! Figure it out and then go make out once we've made some progress!!

Other than that... I find body horror fascinating but I'm also not great at it. Unlike romance, body horror is something I would like to get better at writing myself.

(On a related note, the favorite genre of original fiction is fantasy. I looooove high fantasy novels! Give me magic and knights and religion and mythical creatures and I'm sold.)

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often? -

I don't think I've ever been compared to anyone. I have no idea who or what my writing is like to anyone else.

As for writers I want to emulate... this is something I've been thinking about a lot lately. I've gotten into the habit of screenshotting fics I really enjoy so I can break down what I enjoy and think about how to integrate that into my own writing. I'll sometimes take pictures of books if I have my phone on me while reading, or screenshot ebooks for the same reason. I wouldn't say there's one writer in particular I'm trying to emulate at the moment. I do want to get more flowery in my writing though. It might be a slog for some people, but I adore it, so that's something I want to work on.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space? -

There are a couple places! Sometimes I'll write at my desktop computer, but I frequently write on my laptop while sitting on my bed. There's a chair by a big open window that I'll also write at from time to time because I like the light. Usually when I'm in my room it's because it's later in the day/night, whereas when I write in the window chair it's because it's earlier and the light streams in the room in a pretty way. I like to change it up a little bit from time to time.

When I was younger I wrote pretty exclusively on my phone. It was either my phone or the family computer, which I did start on, but that was hard because I didn't want to write when anyone was home so...yeah. Now I hardly ever write on my phone. For one, my two main WIPS are over 85k words long so they'll just crash if I try to write on my phone. Beyond that I tend to write when I'm at home, and I'm faster at typing on my laptop than I am on my phone. It's physically more comfortable. But I will use my phone if inspiration strikes when I'm out and I want to jot something down, or if it's the end of the day and I'm in bed and want to knock out a few (hundred) words before I go to sleep. (Occasionally this will turn into a thousand words like a few days ago but. Usually it's for shorter stints!)

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse? -

Great question. I wish I knew!

I will say that several of my recent fics have been motivated by seeing someone post something that makes little sparks go off in my mind. They'll put out a question or a sentence or three, then my head will go 'ah yes, what if we explored this-' and go deeper. From there it's just a matter of how much I feel like writing. Sometimes there's an idea I enjoy but little motivation to write. Sometimes I really, really want to write but even if the ideas are sitting there, I just can't get the words to flow because none are appealing in that moment. Sometimes I just have to trudge through a hundred words or few before I get in the groove of things and the words start flowing.

I will say that I daydream about things a lot. So sometimes I will daydream about a scenario until it turns into something fic worthy. Other times I'll have a fic, daydream, and then get enough of a foundation that I feel like I can write. It just depends.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you? -

Uhhhh. Angst? Pushing characters to emotional limits and seeing how being stretched may make them react? Character studies? If there are recurring themes they're probably unconscious. I like feeling things, I like making characters feel things, and I like examining them when they do.

I will say that a good deal of my recent writing (posted and not) has to deal with unpleasant situations and how people react to having to make a decision when their only options are bad ones, or to people doing unhealthy things. Lots of heavier topics in my recent writing. Does this surprise me? Nah, I enjoy it. Does it perhaps say something about my recent mental state? Well.

Even if they go through hardships they make it through. Are they happy? Well. They're alive. Happiness means something different to everyone. For those of you who've read xxxHolic, if you remember Yuko's quote about Subaru....it's stuck with me for a very long time. That and Subaru's horrible terrible quote about happiness to Kamui in X. Should the takeaway be that you should be okay with not finding happiness because happiness is not for everyone? That not everyone can find happiness and this is a fact of life that we should make peace with? Probably not. You should always strive for more. But whether I and the characters I write about are doing that as much as they probably should... it's fascinating exploring what happiness means to someone, and where the line between contentment and happiness lies, especially in regards to peace and acceptance.

What is your reason for writing? -

It's fun. I like imagining characters in scenarios, and when I write, I preserve a variation of that scenario that I can always come back to and enjoy. Sometimes I'll daydream variants of my own fics that don't happen quite how I wrote them. And that works because I have that base to come back to! Writing also helps me straighten out some of the kinks in these daydream scenarios. It's also fun to improve.

I also write to share my ideas with other people. I love reading what other people write, so I like to share my ideas so they can have a little peace of that happiness too. It also opens the door for discussion, which I absolutely adore. Sometimes even a short comment can get my brain firing all cylinders again, prompting me to think about something in a new or deeper way. I was very chatty in college discussion classes and I miss forums. I love talking about the things I love, I love exploring different themes and motifs and language etc etc, and fic is an excellent way of starting the discussion.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer? -

I'm not sure. I would like to say ideas, but even then I don't know. I can write long things? But I feel like that's more my a product of my definite weakness, which is being concise. I really struggle with that. It's something I've tried to work on from time to time, but I still tend to get so wordy I lose steam on fics before they're done. My google drive is the graveyard for dozens of unpublished fics. And when I say dozens, there are definitely over a hundred.

How do you feel about your own writing? -

I think it's on the good side of okay. I'd probably rate it 6.5 or 7 out of 10, with 10 being "this is the most amazing thing I have ever read, get this person an award, I need to talk about this writing," 0 being "this person seriously needs a beta and to look up the fundamentals of writing, I could not finish this." and 5 being "yeah this is readable, was worth my time to read it."

Recently I did some self reflection and have come to terms with the fact that my writing isn't what I want it to be but that's okay. I'm young. I've been writing for 10 years, sure, but for how much of that time have I really been trying to get better as a writer, as opposed to merely writing? How much time have I spent studying other writers? How much time have I spent trying to tweak my writing without giving up? I have time and I have room to grow. I might not be at the top but my stuff is still readable for the most part.

I think I have a better relationship with my writing than I did a year or two ago, when I felt like I was not able to do what I wanted to do and immensely frustrated by it. I'm still a little frustrated, but I don't feel paralyzed like I used to. My two current longfic wips, sitting at 89k and 101k words, are fics that I wrote for plot and and am currently revising. They're both almost done in terms of plot, only needing another ~2 and ~3 chapters respectively, but I'm only ~25% and 5% through revising for writing respectively. By that I mean going back to make them sound pretty. And even more importantly, I'm revising them to make them consistent in terms of style, and for the style to mimic the atmosphere/plot of the fic! I'm trying to work on matching my writing style to the narrator, which can be a bit tricky when the narrator doesn't exactly lend themself to the style I would like to write in, so I've been working on blending the two.

My writing isn't perfect. I wish it were better. I really, really wish I were better at using literary devices, adding in references, the general 'being flowery', and making these big overarching themes that readers can catch onto. I wish I were better at connecting small thins to the big themes. I love picking apart writing, and I want people to be able to pick apart my writing to find gems too. I need to strike a balance between explaining all my choices in the writing and not explaining them but hoping readers pick up on it. It does not always make sense for the narrator to explain all of the logic to something, because some of that should be innate. But I also don't want things to seem illogical, or for signs to be so obscure no one catches them. It's hard to strike this balance. I'm not very good at it yet.

So when it comes to the art of writing, I think I'm overall only just barely okay. When it comes to the craft or the act, sure I can write. I've written 288k words of fic this year. I can do plots. I can put words on paper (or on screen). But are they works of art? Well...they are, technically, I'm not going to deny that, but are they museum worthy? My current answer is no. If they're going in any museums then it's the city museum at best. It's the filler that people enjoy, but could easily be replaced. It's okay. People enjoy it! I'm proud of it. But I know it could be better.

That's the main thing. I know it could be better.

I want it to be better. I need to get down the patience to make it better. I'm making strides, but I'm not where I want to be yet.

My writing is enjoyable, but again I would place it on the good side of okay. Or the okay side of good. Not the good side of good. It feels childish in a way, compared to some of the greats. Not all writing needs to be chock full of little references and themes and flowery language to be good, but since that's what I want my writing to be, it means I'm not where I want to be and thus that it isn't good at what I want it to be. It's okay at what I want it to be.

We'll see how far I ever manage to get. I have so many words I haven't' published because I feel like they're not "good writing" and it's frustrating me because I want to share. I'm just sitting here hoping someone doesn't get to the topic before I do... because I definitely have stuff in my vaults that I enjoyed but hadn't finished tweaking, only to find someone wrote the same topic but better, causing me to place them in the grave because I can't hope to match that and don't want to be accused of plagiarism, because who's going to believe I wrote my thing first but then left it in my drafts for 3 months?

So...yeah I need to get over myself lol. I can write. I've been writing a long time. What I write is enjoyable. It could just be better. I want to get better at writing as an art. Hone my skills, refine my craft, and all that.

[blackjackkent]

Writing Interview Tag Game

I was tagged by @ra-scheln - thank you! :D

When did you start writing?

A looooooong time ago. Haha. As a kid there was a several year period where I thought I wanted to be an author as a career, and always liked writing even after I moved on to other plans. The stuff I wrote as a kid is mostly lost to time, although I do still have the Google doc of a “novel” I wrote for my senior English project in high school. I haven't had the courage to look at it for a long time because it is uh. Not Good. :P (No judgment on my past self - we become better through trying and learning. But it would probably be unrecognizable compared to my writing now.) 

Are there different themes or genres that you enjoy reading than what you write?

Sort of? I like reading scifi and fantasy and the majority of my writing has also been in those genres. But I also like reading things like regency romance, historical fiction, very specific types of horror, etc. that I have no real interest in trying to replicate. 

Can you tell me about your writing space?

Sometimes I write on my phone flopped on the couch - that's how I'm writing my answers to these questions in fact! I'm a pretty fast phone typist but it's still a slower process, though, so when I really want to buckle down I usually go to my desktop computer which is in the office. Right now it's a big wooden corner desk but I'd like to replace it with a couple of smaller ones that are more easy to maneuver and put cool rgb lights on for the Gamer Aesthetic. XD

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Lately as I've been trying to write more consistently, I've been having a lot of luck with this web app called 4thewords.com. It's a bit of gamification but the main thing I like about it is you pick an amount of time and a word goal and it sets a timer for you and it has proved REALLY effective for forcing me to just get words down on paper. The first draft is the hardest for me by far and it's been often really useful for getting over that hump. So lately I'll set myself up for 500-1000 words or so per day of “battles” and that gets me the forward momentum that I'm trying to maintain. 

That said, I'm also trying to be better about not forcing myself to write when it's just not coming at all. I don't want to burn myself out. 

Are there any recurring themes in your writing?

I am sure the answer is yes but it's hard for me to distinctly identify them. (I'd be interested in hearing reader answers to this question.)

Off the top of my head, though - missing scenes, mutual pining, struggles with emotional control. I think one major thing is that, as someone who missed my prime dating years due to the Big Sad, a lot of my characters do have an underlying thread of finding love/fulfillment/connection despite obstacles, later in life, or when they feel they don't deserve it or don't know how to do it. 

What is your reason for writing?

The same reason I was almost an actor, the same reason I like making people laugh on my stream. Hell, even the same reason I like programming and making software that improves someone's day. 

I like making people feel things. I like seeing their reaction to something I've done and hearing that it evoked something in them. This is the most fundamental human connection in my opinion. 

Is there any kind of specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

Honestly, any time someone takes time out of their day to leave any type of comment at all, it's guaranteed to make my whole week. But in keeping with my previous answer - my favorite comments are ones where I get to hear about how I affected the reader's emotions, or where they mention particular parts that really struck them. Those always make me really happy. c:

How do you want to be thought about by your readers? 

Interesting question. I think… as someone who is good with character voices and keeps tight hold of the fundamental core of the characters even when putting them in different situations. Someone who can manage both angst and humor well. Once again, I'd like people to look forward to what I write because they know it's gonna make them feel something that they enjoy. 

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Character voices and dialogue. I've been told I've been very good at catching the cadence of different characters, and some of my favorite things to write have been just bouncing those voices off each other and seeing what happens. I think this is really the pillar on which all the rest of my work is able to stand bc the characters feeling like themselves makes the rest have more impact. 

How do you feel about your own writing?

This really depends on when you catch me, haha. Some days I'm really proud of it, and some days I have a hard time seeing anything good in it. Currently in a bit of a trough of overthinking it, but I’m lucky to have a couple readers who are v supportive which helps. <3 Overall though I think I do a good job and have some interesting stories out there and in my to-do list. (I also tend to way over-compare myself to other people in the fandom; there are so many incredible writers around here that it's hard to put myself next to them.)

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

A mix of both, I suppose? Certainly in picking what I want to write about I am thinking primarily about what I would find fun to write and not about what has a “market” in the fandom per se. But I also am lucky enough to have found other people who do enjoy the same characters as I do and enjoy my take on them, and in that sense I am definitely often more excited about a particular idea because I know one or more of my friends would be excited to read it. :D So both things are definitely a factor. 

-----

Tagging: @writer86 @rhysintherain @bardic-inspo @thedarkstrategist (and anyone else who wants to do this honestly)

[sneverussape]

For the fanfic writer questions (tho feel free to sub art if you prefer): ❤️🏷💕🥳🦈📗💭😎💘🚦🤩🤖🎨

God, that's like ⅓ of them... feel free to skip any you don't like, otherwise I'm all ears!! :) <3

omg this is a lot and idk if i'll be able to answer them properly so it's all going under the cut :))) (if read thru mobile some of the answers get cut off. idk why this is but it works fine on desktop lol. 🙃)

❤️ - what is your favorite line that you've written in a fic? it's definitely one of the evans!severus ones. this au is quite personal for me so everything i write or draw for it has a basis on something that i've experienced irl. it's a coping mechanism of sorts, and a way for me to understand certain things that happened in the past. my favorite lines are from the ficlet i did titled Hello World [ad infinitum] and it's:

You are ready to crawl out of your skin, jump out of your bones, and enter your child’s bloodstream. Hold him nerve for nerve. Calm the exploding suns in his mind. He births universes at least once a week. You all are surrounded by the ghosts of galaxies.

This was a fic that forced me to get into the headspace of parents forced into a near-impossible situation, but one which they powered through if only via sheer will and determination. i think the lines captured not only how the condition [epilepsy] itself manifests in the physical sense, but also the ephemerality and intangibility of it all. i was pretty chuffed too that i didn't have to think too hard about these lines; they just came to me! 🏷 - is there a tag you like to search for when looking for fanfics to read? this applies more to a03. i don't really search tags unless i'm in a specific mood for something, like specific characters, certain pairings, or "______'s A+ parenting". :)) i grew up reading untagged fics on forums and later on livejournal, so tend to ignore tags when searching a lot of the time. i mostly depend on summaries. when on ff dot net (which is actually my preferred platform over a03 because of the amount of old fics on there), i filter by genre, usually sticking to drama, angst, hurt/comfort, adventure.

💕 - what is your favorite fic that you've written? ohhh, for hp definitely the first one i ever wrote for this fandom, which is with friends like these. i love how lucius is characterized here, and how he's just a step from the edge. the desperation and the intense level of his grief interspersed with guilt was so satisfying to write and to read over and over. i also like how i had written other people's treatment of him, as though he's a bomb set to explode. he's in disgrace, but he's still managed to keep the last shreds of his dignity intact, and is still capable of doing harm when pushed.

🥳 - why did you start writing fanfic? purely for my own indulgence, like most people! :)) i like imagining what-if scenarios but also still sticking to canon for a lot of other things. i also use it for catharsis.

🦈 - which character is the toughest to write? ooooooh i'd have to say eileen prince, mostly because i cannot for the life of me decide how i want her to be. i hate the idea of her being submissive. it doesn't sit well for me at all and not something i particularly want to read and write about. i want her to have a stronger personality but can't figure out what her exact story is, apart from having had an ambiguous past with abraxas malfoy (vague hints of a previous relationship which was cut short) and tom riddle (were they friends? rivals? both?). i'm not keen on the abused wife trope mostly because it's so overused and not something i like. i'd rather have her be apathetic and neglectful than be abused (because why? why would a witch allow for it? i can't find a reason for i, especially if you have another world you can escape into), but really haven't figured out the nuts and bolts of it.

📗 - do you want to write something outside of fanfiction? if so, what about? i used to want to, when i was younger. i used to want to be a writer! for the time being, i don't want to write any original fiction. i work in a very rigorous and mentally- and emotionally-draining industry which involves a lot of strategizing and diplomatic hoo-hah. life is far stranger than fiction, and anything i can write will pale in comparison, i think. :)) i'll let life unravel first and see where i end up.

💭 - what inspires you and your writing? my basis for writing is a lot of complex emotions - mostly grief and loss - that i want to sort through, and this shows up a lot in my work. some people have said that i create too many angsty pieces but hey, i create for me. :)) i find the act of creation very satisfying and is something that helps me figure out how to deal with things. alas, my blorbos suffer for it (and i'm not sorry). it also helps that i have plenty of enabler friends! >:)

😎 - what fics do you prefer on a scale of canon compliant to wildly original? oooooh, i like both! it depends on the plot tbh. i've read so many fics that were so au the entire world was practically rebuilt, and other worlds were created for the characters to traverse through. i love those! especially if the lore was thought through really well. some fic writers could honestly give tolkien a run for his money.

on the other hand, i also love canon-compliant fics because those present its own set of challenges. imagine creating your own world within a world that's already created? fanfic-writing is so great because it stretches the limits of creation and co-creation. i love how creative people can get while working with canon and never breaking its rules. i'm always in awe of what comes out of it.

one thing i love is when people incorporate something that they know about really, really well and make that the center of the fic. it can be a hobby, a culture, a language, a sport, etc. you can always tell when an author is knowledgeable or passionate about the topic because it shines through and i love that! if i like the writing style, these types of works can make me read about anything, even about things that i normally wouldn't be interested in in real life.

💘 - is it easier to write angst or fluff? definitely angst. these are emotions that are readily accessible for me because i internalize a lot and like to figure out why i felt x when y happened. usually that involves a lot of angst. not to say that i never experience any happiness irl but happiness/fluff is also not something i think too deeply about, and therefore not something i find satisfaction writing about. it's an itch that already gets scratched enough, but soothing angst irl is not something that happens, so i do it via fic.

🚦 - what sort of endings do you prefer to write: ambiguous, bad, happily ever after, etc..? ambiguous! i like it when readers figure out for themselves what happens. i like the act of co-creation that happens in writing, specifically when the reader will have different interpretations of endings or events, and it's usually a reflection of their own experiences and thoughts. given the choice though between doing a good and bad ending, it really depends on the characters and what takes place in the plot. i normally don't have an ending figured out when i start writing. i'm more interested in the journey of growth that happens in between. my normal route is i plot that (the journey/change), then let the characters make their own way. i decide what type of ending they should have once we get there.

🤩 - what led to your interest in the fandom? i've been an hp fan for a long, long time but did not get involved in the fandoms outside of forums and various lj communities. even then i kept my distance, because i was still in school and didn't want it taking over my life lol. i couldn't afford to be on the family computer every day after school; i had to study and stuff, y'know? i was in varsity teams, orchestra, student council, etc on top of everything else so getting completely immersed in the fandom was not an option. the last few books were released while i was in university and the only fandom i could really get involved in then was the one among rl friends where we knew who was fans of which characters and we'd discuss the plot over lunch and thingss. apart from that, we were too busy to get involved in the internet wars that happened then ahahaha.

i only got really involved in fandom during COVID. i needed a space to just forget about the real world for a while and being in the snapedom worked. i got to writing again and started drawing digitally. i don't regret it at all!

🤖 - are non-fandom friends aware that you write fanfic? hahahahaha NO. i think one or two suspect it but they've never asked. these are friends i've had since childhood and who know i read fanfic (they do too), but we've never revealed whether or not we create fanworks ourselves. they know what fandoms i'm in however, and we share some of them, so i guess not knowing is the best arrangement. we like that we're able to keep our fan lives private, and are able to vent anonymously.

🎨 - if someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see? idk to be honest! it would be interesting to see a DTIYS (draw this in your style) based on my snape. or even the hcs i have of them, a fave being catholic!snape. i have many imagined works based on catholic!snape but i'm not brave enough to attempt them, mostly because it would involve a lot of rigorous and detailed work :))) i want to draw him in a huge empty cathedral sitting on one of the last pews, while looking up at the altar in front. the idea of the altar alone is enough to put me off the entire thing. my wrist already hurts just thinking about it. :))

[whump-captain]

Whump Challenge

I got tagged by @sasuga-whump to do this great challenge! Ill put it under a readmore bc it's quite long but i had a blast (◡‿◡)

I'll tag @deepwoundsandfadedscars @thatsgonnaleaveamark @set-phasers-to-whump @crash-bump-bring-the-whump @whumpapalooza @whump-side @justwhumpythings @radioactiveartz and anyone who sees this on desktop rather than mobile

1. Favorite whump trope(s)?

I do love anything to do with knives - stabbing, carving, knives to throats, etc. Impaling is up there too, and fractures of all kinds.

2. Least favorite whump trope(s)?

I'm not into dehumanisation in any way, or humiliation, they're squicks in fact. Anything with conditioning is also very much not for me.

3. Top 3 whump scenes and why?

Ohhhhhh good question. Recent faves are:

A scene in Resident Evil: Village where the protagonist is strung up from the ceiling by hooks stabbed through his hands. He then has to free himself by ripping the hooks out, making the wounds worse. Not much in way of consequences because of the game's slasher-horror conventions but very good still

Hard to describe without spoilers lol but in a book i just read, there is a character who's a clairvoyant and can remember things before they happen. When another character wants to hit them with a glass bottle, they experience the pain even though the hit never actually lands - the intention is enough to hurt them. It later gets used to torture them, too. It's very unique and very fun (◡‿◡)

There's a whole sequence in the webcomic Shiloh where a character loses a fight to a mantis-like monster, ends up severely injured and thrown off a cliff into a river. His colleagues find him half-dead and rush him to a hospital.

4. Top 3 characters to whump and why?

I whump my OCs 95% of the time so i don't have many fandom faves lol. I have been enjoying some horror protagonists though - Ethan Winters from Resident Evil and Murphy Pendleton from Silent Hill: Downpour both are very hurtable and get roughed up nicely in their stories.

5. Favorite fandom for whump (show, series, etc)?

Again im not much of a fandom whumper but it's usually whatever im into at the moment - recently Silent Hill

6. Do you prefer written or watchable whump?

Oooh that's hard, i think i lean every so slightly towards watchable. They both have their wonderful parts (◡‿◡)

7. Do you also like hurt/comfort?

Yes! I always prefer the hurt lol but im also very into some good comfort

8. What do you think the difference between hurt/comfort and whump is?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ To me, whump means "the hurt part of hurt/comfort" but tbh the terms are pretty interchangeable to me. H/c is a more well-known term so i find that it tends to end up being used towards more fics, even ones that only feature it briefly.

9. How would you explain whump to someone who’s not familiar with it?

Depending on how familiar with fandom terms they are, i suppose. Either "the hurt in hurt/comfort", or "like angst, but often about the physical side", or "stories where the point is for the characters to get injured". Probably add something about exploration of vulnerability, in case they want a deeper explanation.

10. Is there any old whump you particularly enjoy? (say, pre 2000?)

Hmmmmm im sure there are some Star Wars books ive read that are from the 90s and have some good whump but i genuinely don't remember lol

11. Why do you think you like whump?

Now that's the big question, isn't it lol. There's definitely catharsis there - seeing characters allowed to express their suffering and then having it validated and soothed. It's an outlet for emotion, too, especially anger which i struggle with and can channel in a safe and controlled way onto Fictional Character Stabbings lol. I also just like the aesthetics of the kind of exaggerated violence that whump tends to feature, there's a darkly melodramatic thrill to it that im really drawn to.

12. When did you realize you liked whump?

Literally as early as i remember lol. I was under 6 wishing characters in cartoons would be put into peril, i was always into it

13. Favorite posts with whump (gifsets, picspams, etc)

I do love gifsete with my whole heart, im so constantly in awe of the amazing gifmakers we have in this community bc they let us experience the best of whump from all over the world. I also like prompt posts, @injuryprompts never fails to get my creative gears turning

14. Are you “out” to people in real life?

Absolutely Not lmao and for a bunch of reasons. Mostly because whump is something quite personal to me and wouldn't want it to be misunderstood but at the same time i don't think i could properly explain it. I also don't want people to think it's a sexual thing - which again is something commonly understood in the community but probably not so much outside of it.

15. How did you find the whump community?

I was on one of my periodic searching-for-hurt/comfort-fics sprees when i was reminded of the term by the tags - i've been aware of it as a fandom thing but always forgot about it. Then i had the idea of searching it on tumblr and then it all began lol. I was so stunned to see a whole section of the website so dedicated to it and i can't believe how long i've managed without it (◡‿◡)

16. Any unusual mediums you like for whump (plays, music, vlogs, etc)?

Hmmmmm i very much like video game whump - both actual scenes and just the natural way a character gets beat up throughout the gameplay. An unusal niche of it is, i would say, point-and-click puzzle games. It feels weird because they never have an actual protagonist lol but the plot always involves being trapped, or captive, or escaping, and that just always gets my whump imagination going lol. I like imagining a character for them, scared and injured, struggling to puzzle out their freedom.

17. Any meta about whump you’ve been dying to share?

It's mostly just an observation but im utterly fascinated by the fact that so many people are into whump from very early in life. There was a poll about it going around recently and the most picked answer was "6 and younger" and it just. blows my mind. What a strangely specific thing to be born with. I would love to study this in some way but i wouldn't even know where to start.

18. Whump fic(s) you’d love to see?

There are a bunch of writers here whose fics i would love to see continued but i'm nervous to tag them bc i don't wanna pressure them lol. In general im also always on a lookout for strong platonic friendships in stories and creative magical whump, especially with a horror twist.

19. Whump you’re looking forward to? (Maybe something teased or something you haven’t seen yet?)

I've been reading Witch Hat Atelier and recently there have been theories that some visual symbolism is foreshadowing my favourite character getting hurt in an upcoming fight. I don't want to get my hopes up too much cause it's all guesswork lol but i would very much like that (◡‿◡) Similar thing with Wilde Life, a webcomic, in which the protagonist is currently held at gunpoint - in that story, however, not much injury happens at all lol so again not holding my breath.

20. Top 3 favorite whump fics?

Hhhhhh just three???? i need some kind of bookmark system for real because i can't remember half of the stuff i read lol so these aren't my Top top 3, just things i really like

In The Woods Somewhere by @knivestothroats has to be on here because it's honestly the pinnacle of my writing goals - the flow and pacing are impeccable, it escalates the stakes so smoothly that i put it down, and it's just such a brilliant self-contained story with characters that stick with you and some scenes that i still think about, years since i've read it.

@whumpapalooza 's Space Interns also have a very warm place in my heart bc i just love the characters so much and it's not often that i want whump for Every Single Member Of The Cast but here we are

and most recently i've loved this BHTB fill by @crash-bump-bring-the-whump and its lovely prose and the ability to get me hooked on brand new characters in a single work

21. Tropes you think are overdone?

Conditioned/"broken" whumpees, to me it always seems like the same few tropes and phrases cycled around in new costumes. But i will admit that i also just dislike the trope all in all lol so im not being entirely objective here. Creepy whumpers also usually come off as cheesy, i think, because they always use the same set of kinda stereotypical and, well, overused lines. It seems like it's a go-to "default" whumper for prompts/short fics but imo it's actually very difficult to do well. Just my opinion tho

22. Tropes you think we could use more of?

Hmmmmmmmmm it would be cool to see some cool horror/magic themed whump, with strange creatures and eldritch threats. I'm also always in the market for more unique character dynamics, they can keep even the most basic of tropes fresh.

23. Favorite sites/archives for consuming whump? (question by @dammittmarie )

Honestly just tumblr lol. And ao3 sometimes if i want fanfics since it's very easy to find things there

24. Have your whump preferences changed recently? If so, why? (question by @fyeahvulnerablemen​)

I've been leaning more towards horror recently as i get more into the genre! But within it im still into the same kind of whumpees i believe lol even though they're getting less gunfights and more possessions

[xacheri]

About Me - Commit #1 - NameBoy and Homepage

I've gotten to grinding out the code for my About Me page design, which I've decided to call the NameBoy. The challenging part was building in responsiveness where Bootstrap's features weren't helpful. This happened a lot because I was making a design that does not look like a Bootstrap app. Maybe I need to learn Tailwind.

Here's what it looks like!

Desktop:

Mobile:

The left and right D-Pad keys work! They switch between the pages. I'll show ya how.

The HTML:

First we have a pretty basic head tag but we cdn Bootstrap and add a font.

Our NameBoy consists of 2 main parts: the screen and the controls. The screen is a bootstrap carousel with controls mapped to the virtual d-pad.

Within the screen, we've written a home screen with centered headings and a flexbox containing my list of titles and a picture of my Stardew Valley character. We use justify-content-around so that it spaces well on all sizes of NameBoy screen.

The navhint at the bottom of the "homepage" has a class because the custom CSS there will be used later-on as well.

The controls are mapped using the relevant bootstrap classes and targeting the #NameBoyScreen. The data-bs-slide attribute tells it what direction to move the carousel.

The middle, A, and B button are just cosmetic.

And, of course, we have our Bootstrap script.

Now time for the fun part

The CSS:

First, our basic font will be white Press Start 2P. It's retro, fun, and free.

Our background color is blue, like the GameBoy color I would emulate on my $20 android phone when I was younger.

Our screen is positioned Absolute, so that it's children can be too. A small margin on top, with a fixed-pixel height and width based on our Figma ratios. A non-jarring black color is used for the background of the screen.

We use inheritance so we can pass that fixed pixel size down through the carousel for convenience with absolute positioning.

The home screen has some basic text formatting. The yellow is a kind of Pac-Man yellow.

The image of my SV avatar has a fixed pixel size as well.

Our navhints will be absolutely positioned near the corner of the screen.

The controls were fun to figure out. They're positioned with fixed positioning on the edges of the screen. The next and back buttons are 60px wide and 35 pixels tall.

They are overriden to be opaque because BS wants their controls to be translucent but I disagree in this situation.

The middle button is a plain rectangle positioned toward the middle of the actual, functional, sideways controls.

The A and B buttons are circles (border-radius: 50%) positioned with the same technique as the other controls and set up so that the text labeling them will center.

Our query changes button positioning, font-sizes, and screen sizes to turn our NameBoy Color into a NameBoy Advance when the controls move too far to the sides of our NameBoy's screen.

Conclusion:

I love when I have a fun idea, and it works. It's been happening more lately with CSS. I also feel that this is a very cumulative project of last semester's skills. I'm excited for it.

The github repo for the project is here, if you wanna look: https://github.com/Xacheri/aboutme

[thebiballerina]

Also, AO3's Unofficial Browser Tools FAQ lists a few other options to make downloading works on AO3 easier, mainly by adding download links to directly download the works from a work listing pages, so you don't have to open each work on the page to use the download option. It won't save you as much work as the other suggested tools, but a browser tool has the advantage of minimal set-up and working on mobile devices. A bookmarklet (like the AO3 eBook Download Helper) can be easily added to most mobile browsers, while a userscript (like the AO3 Download Buttons script) does require a userscript manager to work, so you need a mobile browser that supports add-ons (AKA Firefox).

@vaguelyabnormal @funny---pics and anyone else who was asking why people are suggesting these tools when AO3 already has a download option built in:

AO3 has a built-in download button, true, but that is a manual option for individual works. If you have hundreds of works you want to save, this would be quite the hassle. AO3's built-in download option is still a great tool; in fact, every option mentioned so far, except FanFicFare, makes use of the built-in download option to function. I'll try to break down the advantages of the different options a bit more.

Built-in AO3 download button: If you aren't bothered by having to download works one-by-one (or if you have been doing this as you go since you started reading fic), then this might work fine. The advantage of this is that it does not require any set up or any outside tools. It would work on any browser and device you can open AO3 on.

Browser tools mentioned in AO3's Unofficial Browser Tools FAQ: This makes the manual download process a little more convenient, in that you only have to visit a work listing page rather than opening each individual work, but you still have to download the works one-by-one. A major advantage of these tools is that they are easily used on mobile devices as well as desktop, and they require very little set-up as compared to the options below.

AO3 Downloader: This downloads works in bulk; you could input one singular URL for a page with a list of works (like your bookmarks or marked-for-later page, a series page, etc.), and it would download all the works in the list.

FanFicFare: This also bulk downloads works from work listing pages, but it can only go page-by-page, so you need to enter new URLs for each page a list takes up (on AO3, this is every 20 works). FanFicFare is the only tool on this list that works for other fanwork sites, and it works for a large quantity of other fanwork sites, including FanFiction.net. The other main advantage of FanFicFare is that it can be used as a plugin for Calibre.

Calibre: This is not itself a fanfiction download tool, but an ebook management program which lets you have organized libraries. FanFicFare can be used as a plugin for Calibre, and this will give you something that you can sort/filter pretty similarly to how you would on AO3 itself (though without the benefit of AO3 tag wrangling for synonymous tags and subtags). Calibre is also designed to easily send files to an e-reader, including whatever metadata that e-reader supports (like author, series, language, etc.).

I hope this helps explain the differences between these options a bit more.

[miyamiwu]

I posted 1,722 times in 2022

That's 1,398 more posts than 2021!

262 posts created (15%)

1,460 posts reblogged (85%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@lizzieonka

@oo-mi-ru-oo

@danelloevee

@echarie

@azapofinspiration

I tagged 1,608 of my posts in 2022

Only 7% of my posts had no tags

#blue lock - 419 posts

#stranger things - 316 posts

#lizzieonka.txt - 263 posts

#byler - 218 posts

#bachira meguru - 117 posts

#mp100 - 114 posts

#bllk - 104 posts

#goncharov - 91 posts

#q - 69 posts

#unreality - 67 posts

Longest Tag: 128 characters

#i mourn for them not being able to have fun because every moment of theirs have to adhere to a schedule on their google calendar

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Really loving how Bachira went from "Hey Rin, do you have a monster inside you too?" to "You're the best, Kaiser. I'll crush you."

82 notes - Posted November 30, 2022

#4

anime!Isagi: *gives Chigiri a pep talk

manga!Isagi:

He's literally trash-talking the guy! Stop making him the good guy!!!! THIS GUY IS EVIL, DON'T BE FOOLED!!!

93 notes - Posted November 14, 2022

#3

Okay Blue Lock fandom, let's standardize this

A lot of Twitter users are coming, and if we don't want the harmonious fandom we have here to turn into a toxic one, let's make use of "anti tags"

What are anti tags?

Basically, anti tags are tags you use when you are against a certain character or ship. For example, if you hate the rinsagi ship for whatever reason, you tag it with #anti rinsagi and NOT #rinsagi. This way, people who actually like the rinsagi ship won't have to see the hate you're spewing about it.

The same goes with characters you don't like. If you don't like Nagi, tag your post with #anti nagi or, better yet, #anti nagi seishirou. Do not tag it with just #nagi seishirou.

By making use of anti tags properly, people can block out hateful content they don't want to see.

NOW PLEASE REBLOG THIS POST SO THAT MORE PEOPLE WILL SEE.

Let's make this fandom a safe space.

Edit: And please, DO NOT CENSOR CHARACTER OR SHIP NAMES in the anti tags. If you censor them, filtering them out will be harder.

130 notes - Posted November 18, 2022

#2

"How long do I have to live like this?!"

ASDFGHJKL he's so dramatic. Chill, dude, they're just studying

202 notes - Posted December 2, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

An Honest Guide to Tumblr for Twitter Refugees (Part 1)

I know there are already tons of guides out there, but my WiFi was down the whole day and I got nothing else to do. Spent the entire morning making gifs, but still no WiFi, and I’m like, fck this let’s make a Tumblr guide.

Now, assuming you’ve already signed up and was able to snatch a fancy url*, here’s what you should do next: Log into Tumblr on desktop. You probably made your account through the app, and that’s cool and all, but for this guide, I’ll be showing some features that are currently only available on desktop Tumblr, so go ahead and get your laptop or PC out. Following this guide will also be easier on desktop.

*url = basically your username/handle on this site. We call them url’s because it what makes your domain name on your blog. More on this later.

Covered in Part 1:

Configuring your Tumblr Settings (filters, community labels, algorithms, etc.)

Customizing your Tumblr (how to avoid being mistaken as a bot**, enabling your Tumblr website, finding a Tumblr theme)

**this wasn’t included when I first made this post but decided to add it coz it’s really important.

Configuring your Tumblr Settings

Filters and Community Labels

Go to tumblr.com/settings/account. Here, you’ll find one of Tumblr’s most important features: filters and community labels. Filters are similar to Twitter’s “mute words” feature, and they come in two types: Tag and Content filters

Unlike Twitter, where tags are part of the post itself, Tumblr has a dedicated section at the bottom of the post to add tags.

Tag filters block out posts that are specifically tagged with #tag, while Content filters block posts containing a certain word within the body of the post itself. Once you have these set, you will never see such posts when using the search feature on Tumblr. It will still show up on your dashboard though, but it will look this and comes with the option to view the post for whenever you’re curious:

As for Community Labels, this should be self-explanatory. Mature content is now allowed on Tumblr, but if you don’t want to see such content, you can always opt-out.

See the full post

261 notes - Posted November 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[iristial]

Spada is a mum

Hammie is so tiny and cute I CANNOT

Maybe I missed out on a lot of Stinger's character development even while jumping around episodes for Kyuranger, but I don't think he was like an obedient puppy of sorts around Hammie 😂😂

[avintagekiss24]

—belated; bucky barnes

pairing: mob!bucky barnes x black!reader

word count: 4738

warnings: 18+ ONLY, smut, sex, rough sex, anal sex, biting kink, choking kink, spanking, pain kink, vaginal fingering, mean bucky (my fave), ring kink cuz i love it when boys wear rings

squares filled: @buckybarnesbingo Y3: Birthdays ; @badthingshappenbingo Biting ; @star-spangled-bingo N1: Taking Charge

request: bucky barnes + "pay attention to me or i'll make you" + anal + choking + spanking + biting + pain

author note: it's been foreverrrrr! i'm so sorry! i had to work myself through a little slump! hopefully this makes up for the almost two months we've gone without a fic! this is story #2 for my 5k celebration, all fics will be tagged #5k...holy god. this was formatted in the beta text post editor on desktop, if anything looks weird, that's why :)

gif by @pedropcl ; line divider by @firefly-graphics

James Buchanan Barnes is possessive.

One of those massive hands around the back of your neck as you walk casually through the streets. Fingers wrapped around your wrist, or shoulder, or hip in a tight grip. He pulls you in close— right into his side as shopping bags hang from the tips of his metal fingers.

Bucky Barnes wants every man on the streets of Greece to know that you are his.

Not that you mind; quite the contrary. You just smile and giggle when he throws his heavy arm around your shoulders and hooks the crease of his arm right underneath your chin. Slip your hand into the back pocket of his loose dark jeans (giving that little tush of his a squeeze). Slink your arm around his little waist and breathe in his scent— heavy and woodsy— as the two of you stroll.

After all, he’s just as much yours as you are his.

All of his friends, Sam, Steve, Clint, all see the change in him. The little soft spot for you that blinds him entirely— turns him in a mushy puddle of emotions and puppies and rainbows. Very different from the Bucky they grew up with, but a Bucky that the three of them have come to enjoy. It’s a change of pace from the enforcer they know.

The two of you don’t talk about his work— in fact, it’s the reason why you’re in Greece to begin with. A late birthday present to make up for the fact that his “work” just happened to be the waiter at the restaurant he chose to take you to for your thirty second birthday. Come on babe, he chuckled as you scowled back at him over the rim of your wine glass, watching as he stained his white napkin red with his bloody knuckles, you know what they say, kill two birds with one stone… not funny?

Two weeks, two nonrefundable, open ended tickets, and five grand in bikinis, shorts, and shoes later, you’re getting some much needed Greek sun on your deep brown skin.

He’s even letting you call the shots for a change. Letting you wake him up at the ass crack of dawn to have breakfast— a spread of breads, cheeses and fruits on the balcony of your room as the sun rises. He doesn’t say a word as you drag him through the city, stopping at each little boutique and shoe store. Sits patiently as you try on every dress, every skirt, and every silk top in the entire country it seems.

Bucky even bit his lip as you gazed at engagement rings— hinting that princess cut is your favorite as you held your hand up into the natural sunlight as one adored your finger. Smiling over at him and wiggling your eyebrows all the while as he narrowed his eyes and plastered a fake smile on his face.

Today has been like all the others, a lazy day spent on the beach, a quick nap underneath an umbrella, a concoction of too much sun and too many margaritas going straight to your head. Now, you’re kinda sleepy and kinda drunk, but most importantly hungry— and Mykonos sounds like a great place for dinner. Despite Bucky’s objections (you’re too tired and too drunk to handle a ferry), you’re dressed in a cute little flowery sundress, him in an out-of-character white tank top, open pale blue and green striped button down and khaki chinos— you forbade him from bringing anything black— and you’re flip flops are slapping against the cobblestone street towards the ferry.

“Drop your attitude,” You say, glancing over your shoulder as he pays for your tickets, “You owe me.”

“Yeah, yeah, that excuse is wearing thin, girl.” You stumble a little with the motion of the ferry as you step onto it, having to grab onto the railing to steady yourself before Bucky grabs hold of your wrist, “Water only for the rest of the night.”

His voice is low and borderline threatening as he presses his lips right against your ear, and you know not to press him any further. You like to stick your toes right up against his line and that’s what irritates him most about you (always what he loves most), but you and he both know you’d never dare cross it.

Bucky pulls you behind him, hand around your wrist, that possessive trait rearing its head as male eyes fall on you as the two of you pass by. He finds an empty spot, away from the crowd, and plops down on the bench as you step up on the lower rung of the railing and stare out over the sea.

Within twenty or thirty minutes, the ferry pulls away from the dock and you can’t wipe the smile from your face. The sun sets off in the distance, the bright lights of the city turning into little pinpoints. Small droplets of the cool, salty water splashes up in your face as the wind and the ferry whips it up. You keep glancing down at the phone in your hand as you broadcast your current view to your instagram, laughing softly as hearts and emojis explode on your screen.

You lean forward, tilting your phone and smiling wide, waving into the camera before you shout out how much you love it here. The words are barely out of your mouth before an arm wraps around your middle, a wide, hard chest pressed into your back, “That’s enough,” he reaches with his metal arm, grabbing your phone, ending your live feed, “You’re too drunk to be hanging off the side like that.”

“I am not,” you struggle against him lightly as he sets you on your feet, “What is your problem?”

“I’m annoyed.”

“Well, duh. Why?”

He slips your phone into his pocket and crosses his arms over his chest, sharp blue eyes piercing into yours, “Pay attention to me,” he says low, eyes dropping down your body real slow as he drags his bottom lip between his teeth, “Or I’ll make you.”

So that’s what it’s about. Bucky Barnes feels neglected between all the shopping and beach days and margaritas. Jealousy is cute on him.

The words though, they strike you right to your core— feel them down to your bones. A hard swallow pushes through your throat as your lips part, big brown eyes softening as your breath starts to rush a little harder. You hate to admit— not really— you love this Bucky. This is work Bucky, a man you rarely get to see. Slightly scary, anger brimming just below the surface. Jaw tight, eyes hard, head tilted just a bit. He’s menacing, and it makes your lips twitch into a small smile.

Shrugging defiantly, you cross your arms over your chest, “You didn’t pay much attention to me on my birthday.”

“Not true.”

“Not true?” you nearly shout, eyes going wide, “I ate alone while you beat the hell outta our waiter behind the building! I had to wait two hours for my slice of cake!”

“How is that my fault?”

You scoff, “Oh, I dunno, maybe because our waiter was spitting out his teeth in the alley out back— all thanks to you.”

“I have to work. You know that.”

“Not,” you hiss, “On my fucking birthday.”

He knows he’s wrong for that shit, so he stands there, huffing quick before he cocks his head again and just blinks back at you— unamused. He won’t apologize, it’s just not in his nature, but his usual attempts to make you happy after he’s fucked up aren’t working; so he’s at a loss.

And you’re enjoying that. A little too much if you ask him.

But alas, it’s not fun to fight on vacation, and you have taken far too many liberties when it comes to his tolerance for attitude. It’s been fun— and you’re just drunk enough to push him one last time.

You move slow, walking right up to him, so close that each inhale pushes your tits into his body. The smirk quirked up on your lips grows as you peer up at him, eyes bouncing between his as you place your hands on his forearms still crossed over his chest.

Bucky lifts his eyebrow as you push up on your tiptoes and push your chin forward to bring your lips close to his, “And just how are you gonna make me pay attention to you, James?”

He inhales deep, pushes it out real slow as he tilts his head even further. A smile spreads on his face and you just know that this is the last thing his work sees before he rearranges the bones of their face. This is exactly why his clients pay him as well as they do.

Thick fingers are wrapped around your wrist again, nails digging into your skin as he starts to pull you behind him. He weaves you through bodies, you nearly having to jog to keep up with his strides. Laughter bubbles up in your chest, a little shriek escaping as he pulls you down some stairs to the lower level of the ferry. Once your feet hit the last step, Bucky whips you around his body, sending you spinning and laughing until you bounce into an old, rusty metal barrel.

The smell of salt fills your nose and lungs as you inhale, covering your face with your hands. Your skin is hot, lips slightly numb as you dissolve into laughter again. He’s right, you’re a little too drunk for this.

“I don’t think we’re supposed to be down here.” You mumble, brushing your wild hair out of your face.

“I could give a fuck,” he answers, stepping up to you, grabbing your face in his hands, “You’ve been testing me the entire time we’ve been here all over some stupid shit.”

Another giggle pushes through your lips as you bat your eyes, “I wouldn’t dare, Mr. Barnes.”

Bucky sucks his teeth as he drops his metal hand around your throat and squeezes gently, the rings on his fingers cool against your skin, “I was stupid, okay? But don’t put on that little innocent act, girl. You’re trying me, and I’ve had enough.”

A smile cracks onto your face, teeth sinking into your bottom lip. You wrap both hands around his one wrist and slip them up his arm, feeling the soft metal as you continue to goad him, “You got some proof, big man?”

The tip of his black and gold thumb prods at your lip, pushes just inside. You wrap your tongue around it and suck gently, keeping your eyes on his all the while.

Bucky laughs, deep and earnestly, “Proof, she says. She needs proof.” He glances around before he spins you quick, facing you away from him as he lifts your dress to reveal your pink satin thong.

You squeal loud, pushing and slapping at his hand as he grabs a handful of your ass, “Bucky! There’s people!” you laugh, “Oh my god!”

“Keep your voice down,” he warns, wrapping his metal fingers around your throat again, “Understand?”

A jolt of electricity flashes through you as you wiggle in his grasp. He tightens his grip around your neck as you wrap your fingers around the edge of the barrel, swallowing hard.

“That requires an answer, honey.”

The chill in his voice, added with the slow circles and soft tickles of fingertips against the back of your naked thigh sends a pang through your belly, “I understand.”

He chuckles soft and with a quick peck on the cheek whispers, “Good girl.”

Bucky curls his left arm around your chest, hooking your chin in the crease of his arm as he grips your right shoulder. You grab on to it with both hands, out of instinct, eyes wide and skirting around for any signs of other human presence down here. Bucky turns, moving you with him to eye the steps quickly again before that flesh hand sweeps around to the front.

The soft material of your dress falls over his hand as he rubs your stomach— his rings catching and snagging your skin. That hand pushes downward, over your thighs, gripping and kneading the soft flesh before he grabs the hem of your dress and pulls it upward, exposing those expensive panties again.

“Bucky,” you hum, his name trembling on your lips with the vibrations of your excitement, “Baby.”

He rucks your dress right up— right up around your waist and pulls the slack behind you, pressing his body into yours to keep it in place. The dark stubble adorning his cheeks and chin cuts into the side of your face as he nuzzles in, humming to himself soft before he kisses the corner of your mouth.

Those fingertips start to trace the hem of your thong— slowly. Back and forth, back and forth. From hip to hip. Your eyes flutter. Fingers grip the soft black metal of his arm a little harder. Legs go to jelly as another hard swallow passes through your throat.

“Ain’t got all that mouth now, do you?” He whispers, fingers slipping just inside the silk of your panties to tease the delicate skin underneath.

When he slips his hand in— all the way in— cupping hot skin, fingers dancing between folds and teasing a wet slit, an influx of air fills your lungs. A gasp, small and clipped sounds in the back of your throat as his fingers start a rhythm. You melt into him, head resting on his shoulder as your hips push forward to meet greedy fingers.

A naughty finger pushes in quick, and then a second— all the way to the black and silver rings dressed on them. His arm tightens around your neck as he presses his lips right against your ear, “You need to apologize.”

He fucks his fingers into you, withdrawing slow, and then pushing back in— each time the edges of his rings stopping him from going deeper. You can’t help but purr as you continue to grip his arm with both of your hands.

“I don’t think—“

“All I want to hear,” his words clip yours, each one slow and drawn and deep, “Is I’m sorry for testing your patience. I won’t do it again.” He curls his fingers, the pads stroking that sweet little spongey spot, making you clamp your legs closed around his hand, “Let me hear you.”

You can’t. You won’t. Too stubborn and too drunk to give in to him, wanting to win just this once.

If there’s one thing James Buchanan Barnes does not like, it’s hesitation. It’s dangerous, he always says. You think too long, you get hurt. Predators don’t hesitate.

Well, you like being his prey.

Only a few seconds pass before Bucky tuts in your ear, seemingly disappointed in your obstinate behavior, but you both know it’s just the opposite. His cock pressing into your ass tells you so.

The fingers disappear. The arm choking you just right pulls away and your dress falls back around the middle of your thighs. You huff, wiping quick at your forehead and pushing your wild, curly hair out of your face again.

Your hands find your hips in irritation but he slaps them away quick as he sucks his teeth, “You must really want this spanking, girl. Keep it up.”

That you do— keep it up. Huffing again. Crossing your arms over your chest like a petulant child. Brown eyes cut back at him over your shoulder to find sharp blues already on you. A smirk on his face.

Metal fingers curl around the back of your neck, pushing you forward gently until your thighs press against the old metal barrel again.

“Lean forward, kitten.”

Voice as smooth as silk while you do so, gripping the rusted edges for balance. Your dress is yanked up again— rough this time— and twisted around his Vibranium hand. Then there’s warm, the warmth of skin against yours. Gentle brushes of fingers and a palm rubbing slow circles, then pinching and grabbing soft— prepping your skin for what’s to come.

He pauses for just a second, no doubt to scan your surroundings and then pulls his hand away. You lung forward with the slap he levels to your behind within a fraction of a second— the sound sharp and heavy.

There’s another, and then a third in quick succession before he’s massaging your skin again. Real soft and sweet. Tears burn at the back of your eyes at the sting that radiates through, all the way to your bones but the molten heat deep in your belly spreads like a fire. Each breath is hard and shaky, heart thumping against your chest but it’s so good.

Bucky switches to the other cheek, skilled fingers sweeping over your canvas of skin before he cracks you— one, two, three.

You squeal with each one. The thud of those heavy rings around his fingers send a quick, new shockwave every time, building on the one before it. The tips of your fingers go red from holding on to the rusty old barrel as tight as you are, but your brain? She’s fuzzy and warm, and drifting up into the clouds with each swift slap.

Bucky is a methodical man. Three for the right cheek, three for the left, three right in the middle. His hand sneaks around your hip, giving it a squeeze before it comes back around and drops to the inside of your thigh. Grabs the meat of it— digs his fingernails in just to hear you yelp. Cups your cunt in his palm, feeling the heat and the wet— makes him groan all low and dirty.

He bunches your hair in his hand, tugs you up by it. Spins you around to face him before hoisting you up and settling you on top of the barrel.

“You want me to fuck you so bad, don’t you?” He growls, ripping at the button and zipper of his jeans.

You just hum in response, wrapping your legs around his waist and throwing your arms over his shoulders.

Bucky grabs your chin, forcing it up before he squeezes your cheeks, “Huh? Answer me.”

Damp eyelashes flutter as hot air escapes from parted, hot lips. He leans in real close, cock pushing right at your slit and kisses you hard as he slips his arm around your waist. He breaks away quick, sloppy and loud before pecking your lips once, twice, three times again.

“You want me to fuck you, girl?”

The weight of his words are felt right down to your core, a shiver passing between the two of you. You let your heavy head fall back and your eyes close as Bucky nuzzles into the side of your face, his pretty white teeth skipping along your neck, nipping and nibbling.

“I want you to fuck me,” you whisper after mere seconds, finally submitting in this cat and mouse game, “Bucky, please.”

That’s all he needs— all he wants. For you to submit, after letting you have the reins for one day too long. He sinks into you slow, spreading you open with each inch, biting down into the side of your neck as he bottoms out. His teeth dig in a little deeper, a little harder as he starts to move, rocking back and forth almost succinct with the waves of the water.

You’re moving with him too, meeting each of his thrusts with your hips. You keep your legs tight around his waist, feet dangling and bouncing against the back of his thighs. A trail of hot kisses are pressed along your neck and down your shoulder before traipsing back up— teeth grazing along your jaw.

Long fingers skip up your side and between your bouncing tits to only wrap around your neck again. They squeeze, gently, as his pace starts to pick up, hips shoving harder and faster— that old barrel starting to scrape against the wood floor.

The force makes you louder, moaning with abandon as if the two of you are all alone on this little ferry. Bucky makes quick work of you, shoving metal fingers into your mouth— giving you something to suck on to keep you quiet.

“That’s a good girl.” he growls, voice gritty and low.

He’s punishing after that. Each snap of his hips thrusting you backward, the barrel you’re on top of tipping back and then slapping down on the floor. You yelp with each one, your mouth going slack around his digits as your hands fall to the edges of the barrel for some semblance of balance.

It’s obscene, the way you can hear your fuck. The wet of your cunt. The squeak of his cock plunging into tight, slick muscles. The heavy thud of his hips pounding into yours. The slap of your flip flops falling to the wood floor as he’s quite literally fucked them right off of your feet. It’s filthy— crude— and so very Bucky.

You’re back on your feet before you know it— before you realize it. Spun back around, Bucky’s hard chest and stomach pressed into your back. He grabs both of your hands and places them back on the barrel, his metal hand staying on top of yours, fingers gripping fingers.

Eager hips wiggle back into his as you hiss and sink your teeth into your bottom lip, groaning low. Your head drops when you feel his cock push through your ass cheeks— wet cockhead pressing against your hot rim.

He starts to fumble around behind you, each passing second making you more and more impatient. There’s a soft click, and then a light suction sound— something squeezing.

“Bucky,” you hiss, pushing back into him again, “Hur—”

The word breaks off right in the middle as he levels a quick smack against your hip— a warning. Then your ass cheeks are pulled apart, wet, slimy fingers sliding and prodding at your quivering rim. He brushes slow strokes, circling, pressing his fingers gently as he preps your little hole for what’s to come.

“What kind of freak brings lube to dinner?” you smile, gasping as he pinches the inside of your thigh.

You lurch forward when he grabs the back of your neck and yanks you back into him, lips right against your cheek, “The kinda freak that was gonna fuck you in an alley after dinner. Now shut that mouth.”

He’s pressing again, this time harder, his cockhead popping into you with force. You grunt with the initial intrusion, Bucky stopping his assault to allow you time to adjust to him— but that doesn’t last long. Your mouth goes slack again. Eyes slam shut, head falls forward as he slips in, deeper and deeper and deeper until his stomach is flush with your ass.

He wiggles— so you can feel him, feel him tickling the deepest part of you. Slaps at your ass again, quick, fingers glancing off your skin and leaving behind a hell of a sting. Then he’s fucking you again, slower this time, savoring the tight, glove-like hold your body provides.

Metal fingers grab at the hem of your dress again, tugging it up before they push back into your panties, finding a swollen, hot nub. Pinching and rubbing smooth circles against it, flicking and thrashing at the bundle of nerves before he shoves his fingers back into your cunt. They curl, those fingers, and pet your insides with surgical precision— only James Buchanan Barnes knows how to fuck you like this.

The heel of his palm slams against your clit as he fingers you rough and fucks your ass with gusto. Sleazy sounds gurgle up in your throat, the slapping of skin and the waves crashing against the side of the ferry, the rush of the wind filling your ears. Bucky pulls you flush against him and slithers his tongue just beneath your ear before his teeth grab a hold, tugging soft.

Teeth keep nipping— along your jaw, your cheeks, ears, neck. He fucks into you hard as he shoves his flesh hand into the neckline of your dress, gripping your tits. Pinching and kneading hard, thick nipples, mumbling sweet nothings all the while.

Your stomach churns, muscles tensing and flexing as synapses start to fire off in quick succession. Quick goosebumps pop up along your skin as your stomach tightens and you can taste it it’s so close. Bucky knows it, feels it as your walls constrict around his fingers, your asshole tightening around him. Vibranium fingers keep rubbing, keep fucking into your pussy hard, palm slapping against your clit, adding more and more pressure until the coil snaps.

It’s hard, and sudden— your body freezing as your orgasm consumes you. Bucky clamps a wet hand over your mouth as you mewl and bite into his palm, your hips thrusting forward with each wave of your release. He pulls his fingers from you to slap at your jumping clit, pressing the pads into it before he rubs quick little circles and then slaps at it again.

He drops his hand to your chin, yanking it up as you nearly cry, mewling and trembling with your release to kiss you hard and sloppy as you come. He kneads your tits with his mammoth hand as aftershocks flash through you, your used body jerking at random. Within seconds, there's a cloud of warmth in your ass. Rough grunts in your ear, growing louder with each spurt of his cock, your hot muscles milking him.

You let him use you, let him fill you up full of his silk. Grab his hands and lace your fingers with his as he empties long ribbons in you. Pull his arms around your waist and hold them there as he rides it out, his head falling to your shoulder. The two of you stand there, resting against that old barrel, breathing hard, skin sticky and balmy. Salt from the ocean in your nose.

Bucky’s the first to pull away, glancing back at the stairs before he pulls himself gingerly from you, leaving your body empty, a dribble of his come slipping out with him. He catches it with his fingers, drags them up the back of your thigh and between your ass cheeks before he shrugs out of his collared shirt and white tank top.

He cleans you up sweet with the tank top. Keeps his arm around your waist to steady you as he wipes at your thighs and your hot, sticky, puffy cunt, shushing you soft when you jump and whimper at the contact. He flings the messy tank top over the side of the ferry and rubs your hips and stomach real slow, murmuring into your ear all the while.

Diligent fingers then rearrange your thong— and cop a little feel, cupping your sensitive, swollen sex, giving it a little pinch so he can laugh when you shiver and squeak. Bucky pulls your dress, tugging lightly to get it back straight around your waist before smoothing it over your ass and thighs— even pulls at the top, making sure your tits are sitting pretty.

You can’t even open your eyes, overcome by alcohol and sleepiness and a post sex high. He fumbles with your fingers as your head lulls on his shoulder, a soft hum vibrating in your throat in your murky haze. Bucky lifts your arm by the elbow, sliding his hand up your forearm until he’s cupping your hand in his.

“Open your eyes, baby.” You groan in protest, causing a chuckle to rumble through his chest, “Come on.”

So you do. You always do whatever this man wants you to do— and there, right on your finger sits that big princess cut engagement ring you teased him with days before.

“How about we skip dinner and find a church, huh?” he whispers, kissing your cheek soft and sweet.

You glance at him over your shoulder, eyes wet as a smirk tugs at the corners of your mouth, “And if I say no?”

“You just can’t help yourself, can you?” He laughs as you adjust in his arms, pushing up on your tiptoes to cup his handsome face and kiss him on those pretty pink lips, “Then I guess I’ll have to fuck some sense into that pretty mouth of yours, won’t I birthday girl?”

[paulgadzikowski]

I have a new desktop PC. (It's not really a tower though I'm going to keep using that as my tag.) I mentioned the death of the other one to my brother during the weekly family zoom at the time and, because one of his hobbies is building more PCs than he knows what to do with, he offered me one of his spares.

Because he's going through some meds shit and work shit right now, it took him awhile to get it into the mail. I'd also told him there was no rush. I'd done without the other one long enough by now to have come up with an alternate backup routine. (The weekly offsite backup flashdrive was promoted to realtime backup, and I ordered another flashdrive to become the weekly offsite backup, which turned out to be a package of two so now I have more flashdrives than I know what to do with.)

Once I got it, it took me awhile to set it up. And at first it didn't work because, when I got out the monitor that had been on the other tower, it wouldn't come on. I had been certain that the problem with the old tower was the CPU not the monitor, though I don't remember now why I was certain; but now it looks like that was wrong, or at least the monitor's bad too. I'll have to try putting a new monitor on the old tower sometime to see what happens but I may have more towers than I know what to do with.

Then it took me awhile to get a new monitor. I kept debating whether I should order it delivered or just go to the Buy Big because that'd be quicker, and a week or two later I just ordered it delivered and got next day delivery free. I also ordered an HDMI cable because the other trouble I had hooking up the old monitor to the new tower was that the new tower had no monitor port but an HDMI port and I didn't have an HDMI cable.

Then when I unpacked the new monitor I found it came with an HDMI cable, which I probably could have found out at order time if I'd just looked, which I did in fact think of, but first I noticed that under people also bought was an HDMI cable, so I thought that meant the monitor didn't come with one. So now I have more HDMI cables than I know what to do with.

I almost have enough hardware to set up both towers but I don't have room for two.

Anyway the new tower is set up and working now, with my file directory and my music files copied over, and its place in weekly my backup routine decided upon. It'll be nice if I can figure out how to set permissions for the laptop and the tower to read/write each other over the LAN but it's not required. Now I just have to remember all the routines I used the other tower for

today the antenna broke off the radio i got ... four weeks ago? three?

i thought "oh well, i was thinking i shoulda got a clock radio*. now's my chance"

... it brings in the classic hits station more consistently without the antenna

*i got the radio because one of the three things i most used the dead desk tower for was as a music player. the other things i used it as were a file backup (i did get a second usb drive to cover that, as discussed in the linked post) and desk clock, because the lockscreen time display was big enough for me to see from bed without glasses. i can lock the work laptop for that when i got to bed at night, now that the tower's dead, but i don't usually remember to do that if i'm just lying down for a nap, plus it's just nice to have a desk clock

[notquiteaghost]

congrats on making a public inquiry on a line of interest situated in the middle of a venn diagram of like four things i've been thinking about a lot lately, your prize is this ask that is so long that in the time spent writing it and checking info someone less annoying may have directed you to some of it! this is all like easy enough to google but just in case it feels less uuhh to have someone with an approximate knowledge on some things offer you some pointers: here are some pointers

(i AM ALSO a thousands of CD's type of guy, but i've not done any big digital management of them since the last time i was regularly using ipods in the 2000s, n i am kinda Prepping for big digital management around my current standing main hyperfixation (participants of a season of an old korean idol reality competition show, a collection of Too Many Gotdamn People who have made Too Much Gotdamn Music) but i don't actually currently own a lot of the physical media there, so none of this are pointer from like. oh here is a workflow i am using etc, but)

answers to your two questions are 1) file sizes really depend on lots of factors but rule of thumb is that in a collection of 'normal song' mp3 file size averages out to 5-7MB a song, and a 3-4min mp3 file being >10MB is surprising

and 2) re: storage prices, 1TB (~1,000,000MB, so probably ~166,666MB 3min mp3's) in external harddrive will run at about £50 in western digital brands atm (western digital is what i've been occasionally looking at for my data management thing bc i've seen it mentioned specifically as more reliable than seagate, which i have had issues with; anecdotally, my mum's WD elements has lasted her about a year longer than her seagates kick the bucket). prices atm on curry's stack up at £80 for 2TB, £108 for 4TB, £180 for 8TB

refurbished is an option when it's 'rectified' and sold by the company itself; for WD, those prices atm stack up at £30 for 1TB, £35 for 2TB, £55-60 for 4TB (their page for these are https://www.westerndigital.com/en-gb/products/recertified) (i do not know enough about this area and would wanna look up specific reviews on a company's rectifying track record before purchasing myself, so obv do the same)

answers to questions you DID NOT ask but may have later on if you do set out on the CD Digitization Project that i have answered preemptively bc i am ANNOYING:

tagging music with correct info is often the most time-consuming part of this shit, so a tagger is your friend. the musicbrainz database should have a lot of stuff covered, so their tagger picard might well do (https://picard.musicbrainz.org/, also has some good plugins for like formating multi-disc albums etc if you wanna scan through those), but tagscanner (https://www.xdlab.ru/en/index.htm) can also pull from discogs if needed, though you may still need a discogs account + to make an api key do use that

i was like. spike will probably appreciate it if i provided ways in which their dad could still be autistic about music in a digital format, but i'm having a hard time pulling up music players that meet my vision / make it clear if they do re: you can see cd booklet, and also this info seems to not typically be in databases. i'll carry on looking for players in this area bc i ALSO want this, but suggested desktop windows players other than windows media player / grooveshark / vlc (which are all fine, but imo none are the most intuitive for regular heavy listening) are my best friend foobar2000 (https://www.foobar2000.org/, also has a tagger that pulls from musicbrainz and maybe discogs?), musicbee (https://getmusicbee.com/, tagger plugins available), and aimp (https://www.aimp.ru/); deadbeef (https://deadbeef.sourceforge.io/) is created more to get your hands into with the technical stuff, but it's got custom metadata fields. really after you've looked to see if you think your dad would want a particular feature, unless space is a major consideration then it is just well what looks nicest.

file backup! backblaze (https://www.backblaze.com/) allows an external hard drive to be added in an image backup of a machine, which is the only good way to do a (pseudo-)sync backup without paying for cloud subscription or setting up a NAS etc; at $70/year it is obviously A Cost but way less than premium cloud drive subscription, so if it feels useful to know,

if the NAS mention / video at the end of that post wrt turning an old computer or laptop into a media server (so thing that is plugged into a wall that has files on it + a media player --> other computers / phones / etc on the same network (which can be outside the home too) can connect to that player and files) was interesting lmk bc i've also been looking into that a lot mostly as like, storage nerd aspirations, it's just a whole other thing that's irrelevant if you're more interested in just bunging stuff on an external drive (i've send this as an ask with the intent for you to keep it On File, so sent me another or a dm to lmk!)

you are not at ALL annoying you are a godsend!!!!

the thing abt my father is he is actually better at tech stuff than me (he ran his school's website & also michael's website, in the 00s, when that meant he built them from scratch) (he's still a little bitter abt his school outsourcing their website to whatever service every school uses nowadays. he used to add little falling snowflakes in the winter n april fools jokes n such), so yes i was very much anticipating saying to him like. find a backup storage method you like and i will do the legwork of actually ripping n sorting everything

i did NOT know taggers even existed but holy shit yes i will definitely need one. i do not anticipate him ever actually getting rid of his physical copies – smth he has already done is buy a ton of plastic wallets n move the CDs & booklets into them so instead of ur standard plastic jewel case taking up all that space it's effectively as thin as the actual CD – & also he no longer has a computer (i do not get this decision either. he just uses his phone????) so i doubt he'll need music player software. my thought is really 'he needs backups spare CDs and a CD writer so if any die they can be replaced'

however i will definitely look into the music player software, and maybe also forward this info to my brother (if it's even news to him, he's the kind of music autistic who has a £200 pair of headphones). thank you SO much <3

edit: just saw ur second ask n shdgdhd yeah i am gonna bookmark this post, my askbox is a pit things vanish into forever

[neonghostcat]

Checking in. 👋

It should not take me being checked on by a reader to log into to Tumblr, but when I get busy at work/with life, Tumblr becomes the first thing cut.

(Sorry about that. D: I feel particularly bad as people have been super lovely while I've been in hiatus and I'm horrified at not telling them they're lovely immediately!)

A little update on me and what I'm working on under the cut!

I actually have a (minor!) shoulder injury. I'm fine, but it's enough to put me on reduced work load, which normally would mean more writing time, but as the injury means worse sleep (+ some days where computer time is very uncomfortable), my focus is crap and it amounts to around the same in the end. More time for reading through my AO3 backlog, I guess!

Enough on that!

👻 GHOST MONTH AHEAD. 👻

And you know what that means?

My pretend-birthday awaits! Huzzah! I think I may be more excited about my pretend birthday than my real one. 😁

I'm still on track to release a chapter on August 8th! This unfortunately means I've had to set a reminder on my desktop calendar since, y'know, Thursdays are my update day, not Mondays. But it'd feel weird to update on a Monday and then skip a Thursday to wait until the Thursday next, so Mondays it is.

The story will be 4 chapters unless chapter 4 runs longer than expected and I need to split it into two parts - so that means all of Ghost Month gets a bit of LiuShen for ya!

I can't remember if this story idea sparked my thoughts on giving myself a fake birthday or if my fake birthday planning made me start working on a fic idea for it, but either way, I've been sitting on the idea for a fair while. (It's on my Tumblr WIP list as "unnamed ghost fic".)

👻 The Guardian Ghost and the Bookish Fairy 🧚‍♂️

This story has gone through about three working titles, but I'm pretty sure I'm sticking with this one.

----

Summary: LQG survives his qi deviation... in the form of a ghost. Having nothing better to do and no desire to be exorcised, he follows after SQQ and decides to haunt him for the hell of it.

It doesn't take him long to realize that not only is this not the SQQ he knew, but there is more going on. And apparently SQH is involved too? Ah! He understands now - they're immortal fairies given a grand mission to thwart a dark prophesy of the sect's collapse. Well. He can help with that. And how better than to protect the bookish fairy that's taken SQQ's place?

There are no ulterior motives. Why think such foolish things???

TL;DR: What happens if SY transmigrates a little later and the events of PIDW continue until after Ling Xi Caves?

----

You know me - I love my LQG POV, so be prepared for that. And he's an even more unreliable narrator than ever. 🙈

I have also spent far too much time researching weiqi/go just so I could write a single scene. Thankfully I realized pretty quickly that I didn't need to actually dig too deep into how the game was played to write the scene or else I'd feel even more foolish. One day I'll write a scene with weiqi/go from SY's POV so I can work in a reference to Hikaru no Go. But this day is not the day. (Even though the set-up would have been perfect for it. Alas.)

I did not do any research into Chinese ghost or fairy folklore (because I knew what I wanted for this story and knew if I researched it and something came up that contradicted what I wanted, I'd second guess myself), so I'm going to have to tag or note that I'm running with a more Western take on ghosts with the bits and pieces I've picked up over the years from Eastern folklore, especially re: "fairies". I don't want people to "Well, actually" me over it because they were expecting something different.

re: Cultivate

Still working on it! Work + injury = surprisingly more difficult to work on a long story than a short one. More moving parts to keep track of and my brain just isn't up to it.

I'm hopeful for sometime in September, but I'm not making promises. I'll know better by the time the last chapter of Ghost is posted, though.

This post is already tl;dr, so not much to say other than I'll see those of you on the 8th who drop by to read! 💖💖💖

[sebstanseabass]

Afterglow (A Bucky Barnes AU fan fiction) - Chapter 22

Afterglow chapters

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Tag: @maladaptivexxdaydreaming

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

The next few weeks went by in utter bliss.

The days after the pitch presentation with the marketing team were spent shooting the models in Sam's building. When Bucky told me you'd had assistants for the shoot, you thought that he was just joking or just wanted to make you feel better but you knew now to believe everything he would tell you. It was the first time you'd had people help you work; the first time you had to order people around. You had people working for the lights, reflectors, fans, backdrops, wardrobe, and make-up. You also had people sitting behind two large desktops connected to your new camera to skim over the photos. You would head over there for every five minutes to look at the photos and if you found something that could work better, you'd have another round with the models.

Considering it was the first time you've handled professional models and athletes in photoshoots, you did excellent and handled everything smoothly. Even Sharon knew it, giving you a small reassuring smile from time to time.

Speaking of Sharon, she actually helped you with the models' wardrobe, and got every new clothing from their inventory, making sure everything and everyone were photographed. She was still walking around with her clipboard close to her chest. She never walked the grounds without it.

Sam would go in and out from time to time. With the other matters he had in his hands, countless partnership meetings on-site and online, it was understandable.

But you knew he trusted me in this. After all, you were partners in this project.

Meanwhile, Bucky had made himself comfortable watching you from the corner of the studio. He made himself too comfortable watching you the whole time you were working that the models thought he was planning something heinous. You laughed them off and told them you were dating.

"Isn't he too old for you?" One model had asked.

"Doesn't really matter to me." You turned your head and glanced at Bucky, his eyes glistening as he stared at you. You bit your lip and faced the model. "Plus, he's hot. I would be crazy not to jump on that."

If only Nat could hear you, you knew she'd be proud.

Even though the two-day shoots were brutal, you felt a sense of satisfaction wash over you. More when you finally had to do post-production the following week which meant editing the photos.

As promised, you spent your break time over at Bucky's penthouse, naked in his living room, his master bedroom, the kitchen, and his home office. Your legs would be trembling during the shoot but you persevered. You didn't want Bucky to see you weak while working, even though it turned him on. It wasn't helping that he was watching you the whole time. You couldn't see him but you always felt his eyes on you.

The Falcons' new release was set to be launched a month and a half later, just weeks after Bucky's birthday (I'll get to Bucky's birthday in a bit, 'cause that was a whole other thing kept at the back of my mind, you thought). There were still a lot of things happening with advertising and marketing such as the new website, and pages on social media platforms and new packaging.

After the project with Sam, your paycheck came one Monday morning in the mail. Peter kept asking you how much you were paid but you never told him because if you did, he'd let you pay the next six month's rent — and that wasn't even just for your half. It would be for the both of you. You would gladly pay of course, seeing that he's helped you enough financially but you wanted to invest this money to earn more. The paycheck wouldn't stop there, of course. Sam would still pay you if your photos ever get on billboards across any city or when he opens up a new branch.

Sam referred you to a couple more guys he knew. One who needed to photograph models for a skincare brand he'd been rebranding for the past couple of weeks and one who needed to photograph paintings to be sold online. They weren't as big as Sam's business but were big enough in the industry. The production of both were still in the talk.

The next day, you and Bucky went studio hunting downtown. Obviously, your little home studio wasn't fit for incoming clients and this was surely an investment you couldn't pass upon. After renting and earning more profit, you figured you could move into another studio and buy it; a permanent place where you could freely work.

While studio hunting, Bucky insisted to buy the place that you wanted — or better yet, buy a much bigger place so you wouldn't have to move to another studio. But you've already made up your mind. You told him you wanted to do this your own way, with the money you've earned. After signing the contract and lease with your name on it, Bucky hugged you from behind. The property agent eyed you.

"At least let me buy you something, doll." He whispered in your hair as soon as you were left alone. You stood at the center of the empty office, overlooking the busy streets of New York City through the glass walls.  "Please."

You met his arms with your hands, pulling him closer. You leaned on his chest, sighing at the comfort his arms gave you. "Even if I tell you no, I know you're still going to do it."

"You're damn right. Do you have anything in mind you might like?"

You turned around and wrapped your arms around his neck. "Surprise me."

He chewed his inner cheeks before dipping his head to yours, your lips meeting each other. "Oh, I definitely will."

The next day, a whole studio setup filled the used-to-be-empty studio. Complete with backdrops, lights, light boxes, and reflectors. In your new office was a fully furnished desk, complete with a desktop setup where you could edit photos.

You looked at him with wide eyes, ready to lecture him that this was all too much and that you definitely made it clear that you wanted to do all of this by yourself.

Bucky had caught your expression early on, scared that you might have our first argument.

"Before you say anything, this wasn't all me. I figured out a loophole on how I could buy you the things you need for this studio and at the same time, still make you like me and would still make you want to rip my clothes off."

"What did you do this time, James?"

"All of this," he said, gesturing to all the equipment in the studio, "was both me and Sam. Think of it as an investment. If you can get more work and clients, then you can keep everything but if you can't, we'll pull them all out. When you afford to buy everything here, only then can you pay us. This little string here," he pointed to the both of you, "is just business."

You looked at him in disbelief. "Just business?"

He bit his lip. "Okay, maybe a bit of pleasure too."

"A bit?"

"Maybe a whole lot." He shrugged.

"And the whole idea was... just you?"

"Just me, sweetheart. Plain James Buchanan Barnes. You get me, you get the whole package."

"And besides money what will you get out of this little investment idea of yours?"

"I have little care about the money, honestly." He said. "But I'm doing all this for you and you is all I care about."

"You're damn lucky I like you, James."

"Like me enough to have some hot sex right here, right now?"

You smirked, pressing your crotch against his, teasing him. "I get the whole package, right?"

Bucky took you from behind. Your tight skirt hiked up to your waist. Your tits bouncing against the fabric of the beige curtains, your hands gripping them as hard as you could as Bucky thrusted himself hard and deep behind you, his hands either on your hips, your hair, your neck or your breasts. And as you both finished, the curtain rod broke in half, making you and Bucky topple on the ground, the huge curtains falling down on your bodies. The bright sun radiating across the room, the view of the streets startling you.

Laughter filled the room as you stared at each other. The look of exhaustion still evident in your faces and body.

"You're buying me new curtains." You breathed out.

"Me?" He chuckled. "You're the one who pulled them off!"

"The reason why was you."

"I have a better idea."

"I doubt that."

"We should just get these windows tinted." He smirked under the curtains and rolled over towards you, his arms wrapped around your waist. "That way we could just ravish each other in front of this goddamn city without anyone ever seeing us. How does that sound, doll?"

You hummed, brushing your nose against his. "Tempting."

"Is that a yes?"

You shrugged, pulling away from him. "You have to convince me more, Mr. Barnes."

"Oh babydoll, you're gonna regret saying those words."

The following weeks with Bucky was all you could ever ask for but it was getting harder and harder to hide all of this from Peter. Your time together was spent in the confines of Bucky's expensive penthouse when he wasn't in meetings and when you weren't busy finishing the setup in your new studio.

All day you'd cuddle up, watch movies, read books, and just talk more about the beauty and perils of life.

You couldn't go out that much because you couldn't risk Peter or any of Peter's friends to see you and Bucky around. When you visited the bar one day and told Nat all about it, she told you to go to places Peter and any of his friends will never be at.

"Besides, isn't Peter always working?" She asked as you sat down on the booth.

"We still don't want to risk it."

"So, go with my plan."

"Hey," you said, finally thinking her idea was a good one, "how's it going with Steve?"

She shrugged, chewing on her lower lip. You eyed her suspiciously. "Uh-oh, what's wrong?"

"It's still good but..." she paused, her eyes strained. "He's been acting strange lately."

"Isn't he always?" You chuckled. "You may not notice this 'cause you're sleeping with him but he's a bit peculiar for a man his age. Always cramped up in that little office of his. Seriously, how on earth do you have sex in there?"

"I'm bendy, bitch."

"Never should've asked." You mumbled, getting the picture of Nat, well, bending, out of your head.

"Anyway," she sighed, "it's just... he's acting really weird. I can't even begin to explain it. I think something happened."

"Do you think it's about you two?"

"I doubt that." She frowned. "I just know it's something else."

"You want me to talk to him? I'm like a little sister to him." You replied. "Sorta. It's a weird dynamic, I know."

"Sure, if you ever catch him in the office. He's barely even here."

You nodded, taking the new information in. "Now, that's a whole level of weird for Steve."

"Maybe he's just having problems with the bar or something." You shrugged.

"If he did, he'd be here in the bar. I tried talking to him but he says he's just fine. I don't know, I'm just letting him be. It's not like we're in a relationship."

You and Nat talked a bit more about Steve right before her shift started. Then the next day, you gave Bucky a map and marked all the places you could go to without risking being seen. Brooklyn was the only place Peter would never go to. You thought about Queens but May, Peter's aunt, lives around that area.

Brooklyn was no Upper West or Upper East side but it didn't matter to you or to Bucky. You had each other; just the two of us — in the restaurant & lounge, movie theater (where we always end up making out), Barnes & Noble, local coffee shops (where we read the books we've bought), and in the streets of Brooklyn. Strolling hand in hand, stealing kisses on every empty corner, and you taking photos and videos of the beautiful landscape, and the beautiful man who managed to steal your heart.

All the rendezvous with Bucky felt like you were a married woman having an affair — without the secret handwritten letters.

But everything was in place and your heart was full. It was so full it could almost explode.

Spending all the time in his penthouse, in Brooklyn and your studio made me miss your rooftop. A place you've claimed yours and Bucky's; a place he'd claimed you his, and he, yours. You wished we could just go there freely, without having to worry Peter seeing you together doing unspeakable things to one another.

And yes, telling Peter was getting much harder as the month went by.

Back in the Upper West Side, nothing much was going on in the bar. You barely see Steve (though according to Nat, he comes in the bar every now and then), Nat was still Nat of course (and nothing much had changed in whatever was going on between her and Steve), Nick got better at making drinks (thank the heavens for that), Sam would give you constant updates whenever he came with Bucky in the bar, and Peter had been having problems with his marketing team and Wanda's vision for the clothing line they landed.

Now that was something you couldn't believe and was the reason you and Bucky kept postponing on telling him.

Peter was constantly in a bad mood. It got to one point where he wanted to quit the team.

After that, you went to pay Wanda a visit at her studio. You found her sitting in her office in deep thoughts. She was surprised to see you but managed to put on a smile when she approached you with a hug. You offered if you could get coffee from a coffee shop down the block and there you talked about the conflict happening between her and Peter's team.

Boy, when you and Sharon had had an argument, you thought that was already big. But Wanda's case was much bigger.

"This isn't a collaboration anymore. It feels like my artistic vision has no place in it. It's like they're telling me, 'hey, you have a camera just shoot whatever we want you to shoot the way we want it to be shot.' I keep telling them that's not how it works. They keep throwing in my face that they hired me, that they're paying me." Wanda being Wanda, kept on and on and on. "... and that roommate of yours is no help either. He just stays silent the whole time during those god awful meetings. We're already behind track and apparently it's my fault. Can you believe it? God, I don't know what to do. I've never had a marketing team work alongside me before! Have you at least talked to Peter about it?"

You raised your eyebrows, taking a sip of the coffee. "Oh, I wouldn't wanna talk to Parker. He's been in quite a mood."

"Too bad, I was kind of hoping you could knock some sense into him. Should I just quit?"

You talked for about two hours in the coffee shop catching up. It felt kind of rude to talk to her about The Falcons but she insisted. And she genuinely looked and sounded so happy for you, which made you feel a bit guilty for being so envious of her success.

You parted ways in her studio but before you could even get out of her office and go to Brooklyn to meet with Bucky, Wanda called out your name and handed you a film camera.

And it wasn't just any film camera. It was yours — the one that she borrowed back in college.

"It's long overdue, y/n. I was just finding the right time to give it back to you."

You gave her a reassuring smile, telling her it's okay. Hell, you even forgot you lended it to her until today. "Thanks, Wanda."

"I haven't had the film developed, by the way. I took a couple of photos before realizing I've run out. I didn't want to get them developed since most of the photos are yours."

After that, you convinced Bucky to go to some shops in Brooklyn where you could get them developed but he insisted you should just make the little spare room in the studio into a dark room. You didn't know why you agreed but you did, anyway. Bucky always had a way with words. Or perhaps it was because of his intoxicating voice. Either way, you were addicted to every part of him. He could try to persuade you in gibberish and you'd still say yes.

It was already the week before Bucky's birthday. You've already met with your new clients, began planning pre-production, and almost finished setting up the studio, yet your brain was still racking what on earth to get Bucky for his birthday.

Howard picked you up in your studio an hour after your meetings and thanked him as you got out. Leonard greeted you inside and led you towards the elevator that goes right up to Bucky's penthouse.

Bucky just came out of his study when you greeted him with a kiss, his phone in his hand.

"So, who was on the phone? Parker?" You asked as soon as you sat down on the couch.

"That was Tony."

You pursed your lips and nodded, caressing the top of his head. "Tony's been calling you a lot lately." You commented, recalling the times you've seen Tony's name on Bucky's phone screen. "Is everything fine?"

"It's kind of weirding me out too, doll but this time, I kind of figured why he called."

You frowned and stopped playing with his hair. "What do you mean?"

"It's the first time in five years I'm in New York for my birthday and knowing him, I know he'd throw me this huge party." Bucky chuckled. "And I couldn't say no because well... It's Tony — "

You smiled at him. "That's really sweet of him! He must've been missing you a lot."

"I'm not done yet, doll." He placed his finger on your lips.

You giggled and hid how easily that gesture turned you on.

"The birthday party has a theme." With his finger still on your lips, you waited for him to finish. Something you always anticipated in bed. "It's the Great Gatsby."

Your mouth fell agape, smiling at him. In your head, you were already seeing him in a neat, dazzling vintage suit. "Oh my god, why do you look so glum? It sounds like a great party!"

He shrugged. "Honestly, I just want to spend my birthday with you." He pecked your lips then whispered. "No fancy party. Just you."

You kissed him back, then placed your head on his shoulder. "I'd love that too, boo but I'm nothing compared to a Great Gatsby party."

"You couldn't be more wrong, sweetheart." He sighed, pulling you up to his lap. "I'd choose you over any fancy party. I just want you."

"You still have to go, Bucky."

He groaned, dipping his head on your shoulder as he pulled you closer, his hands tight on the sides of your thighs. "I don't want to."

"You have to." You giggled, lifting his head. You put your hands on his jaws, looking straight at him. "Okay?"

"I'm turning thirty-nine in a week, y/n. I'm too old for a costume party."

"Puh-lease." You scoffed. "You streaked in the streets of Greece when you turned thirty-four and you're telling me you're too old for a costume party?"

He groaned, throwing his head back. "Why do you always bring that up, doll?"

"It's one of my favorite stories I've been told about my boyfriend." You smirked, bringing his head back in between his shoulders. "It would be my favorite if I were with you."

Bucky sent you a glare. "No way am I letting other people see you naked. Never in a million years."

You shrugged. "You almost did when we had sex that one time in my office, Buck. Come on, go to the party. It's your party, anyway."

He chuckled, brushing a strand of hair away from your face. He tucked it behind your ear. You smiled at the gesture. "If anything, it's Tony's party, Not mine. He's sort of a diva."

"He's still throwing it because of you. Come on, boo."

A moment of silence occurred.

"You're coming with me, then." He replied. "I'm not going if you're not going."

You hummed, looking up at the ceiling. "Let's see... A party with my boyfriend, his adoptive father who's one of the richest people ever to exist on this planet, and his stepbrother. Well, it's a party but not that fancy."

He moaned. "Then be my date in secret. Come on, doll, we've been really good at it. We can sneak out for a few minutes and make out. That way, I could still be with you."

You knitted your brows. "That sounds more like Romeo and Juliet. Not the Great Gatsby."

He chuckled, kissing the tip of your nose. "Come on, y/n. It's my birthday. Don't I get special treatment on my special day?"

You looked at him with narrowed eyes, knowing he would never drop this. The worry of a party with the person you had been avoiding the past month was settling inside but Bucky's arms around your waist made that all disappear.

"Fine." You sighed. "Your wish is my command, Mr. Barnes."

Bucky smiled in victory, leaning in closer to your face. His lips brushed against yours. "Wishes, baby. That's not the only wish I want."

"You have two more then."

"Oh wait, I should rub you first after making a wish, right?"

You shook your head. "Don't push it."

He sneered, carefully rubbing your thighs. "My second wish would be me buying you a dress but don't let me see it until my birthday comes."

You hadn't had any chance to argue because well, it would be his birthday. And you couldn't resist Bucky.

I don't think I ever could.

"Deal." You sealed it with a small kiss then stood up from his lap. "Only if you let me go shopping now,"

"Now? Like, right now? It's a bit too early, don't you think?"

You nodded and gave him a playful smile. "It is. I just wanted to tease you with a little secret I'll be bringing home with me tonight."

"Oh no," he reached out his arms, "don't do that to me. Come on, get back here. I have a better idea."

You sighed, getting back on his lap, straddling him. "Of course, you do."

"I'll have someone over here tomorrow. I'll have one of the best dressmakers here to make you something gorgeous. How does that sound?"

"It sounds expensive." You warned. "But wonderful. I'll be here in the morning."

After spending another hour at Bucky's, discussing what could've been his birthday plans with me (a simple rooftop dinner, where we could get drunk and have drunk sex underneath the tent — that was just one of the crazy options he offered), you went straight to the bar and looked for Nat, hoping she could help me what to get for Bucky on his birthday.

As you got there, you barged inside only to find the bar empty. You looked around, wondering why there were no people inside only to realize it was two in the afternoon and it was a Monday. You looked back on the door, wondering why it was open. Then, it hit you: Steve. He must be here.

"Steve?" You called out as you neared his office. "Steve, you here?"

No answer.

You knocked on the door and called out his name one more time but you were only met with silence. Without hesitation, you opened Steve's door. You were greeted with a pile of papers. It was like they were growing from the ground.

"Steve?" You called out once more but there was still no answer. You walked around the room to find more papers. You picked one up, seeing it was a newspaper dated back 2012. It was an article about an explosion that happened in the Upper East Side. But you couldn't see the details since only the headline was in sight. It seemed like the whole article had been cut or shredded.

You wondered if Steve was the one who wrote it.

It was the first time you ever got a good look in his office. Inside were dusty. To think that he spends most of his time here, he'd bother to clean once in a while.

On the back of his table were a bunch of photographs lined up. Some of his family, you assumed, fishing on a lake. Then, something caught your eye: a small framed picture that was facing down.

Curious, you slowly picked it up.

An audible gasp came out of your mouth when you saw the photo.

It was Bucky and Steve.