#I'll probably turn that into a standalone thing

[torra-and-the-toons]

It's them pesky Kids Next Door.

Just felt like trying to draw them in their style :>

[supernovafics]

𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐃𝐃𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓

"i'll be there for you" universe masterlist

pairing: bestfriend!roommate!steve harrington x fem!reader

word count: 5.7k words

warnings: explicit language, so so much angst (but with a happy ending), some fluff at the end, just a whole lot of emotions in this one!

summary: in which during steve’s birthday ski trip to colorado everything he’s been keeping from you finally comes out 

author's note: i had the idea for this specific one probably since the beginning of this series and now here we finally are many many months later<333 also this one is very much that one episode of friends coded where they were supposed to go skiing but never did. not once do i actually write them skiing in this but i promise the thought was there lol

general note: everything in this universe/series can be read as standalone oneshots but to understand the full “lore” it would prob be best to read the other stuff too<333

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Winter 1986

When you first suggested the idea a month before Steve’s birthday, Robin and Eddie thought that a seventeen hour car ride to Denver sounded like hell. But, it luckily didn’t take a lot to convince them to agree and come along for the weekend trip. Because aside from gas and food, it was essentially a free trip to Colorado. 

You’d all be staying at the cabin that your parents and Steve’s went to during Thanksgiving; which, after enduring an hour-long phone call with your mom when they came back from the trip because she wanted to tell you all about it, you learned that the place was really nice and they all were happy about buying it as a timeshare before even seeing it in person. She also told you that if you and Steve and some friends ever wanted to use it, you could, and you only responded with a half-hearted, “Sure, that would be nice,” because you just wanted to get off the phone, but months later you thought it could be a cool thing to do for Steve’s birthday.

You mentioned it to him first and he liked it, saying that it sounded fun and it would be hilarious to see you finally attempt skiing. You only rolled your eyes and playfully hit his arm in response, and then you mentioned the trip idea that night to Robin and Eddie when you all were on your way to the movies. And once they agreed, the plan became set. 

It was barely four in the morning on Friday, the day before Steve’s birthday, when you all bunched into your car instead of Eddie’s van because he didn’t think it would be able to sustain that long of a road trip. Which, after spending many, many times in the old van, you completely agreed with him. 

The drive surprisingly wasn’t that unbearable— Steve drove a lot of the time because he didn’t really mind it, you forced everyone to play dumb car ride games to help pass the time, Eddie controlled the music for most of the drive, and Robin had to go to the bathroom every hour until she fell asleep for most of the afternoon and evening. When the four of you made it to Denver around ten, you simply picked your rooms and then went to bed because of how tired you all were. 

You woke up at some random time in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, and the loud creakiness of the wooden floors annoyed you and washed away most of your tiredness. When you noticed that it was a little after twelve, you went to Steve’s room, which was right across from yours. You gave his door a quick knock before walking in, the bright moonlight shining through the open curtain of one of the windows did enough to let you see him in bed. He was fast asleep, buried beneath the covers and softly snoring. 

You lightly tapped his back to stir him awake and pulled the blanket off of his head a bit, which revealed his messy bedhead that you forced yourself not to laugh at.

Steve turned his head and looked up at you for a brief moment before letting out a soft, “Hey.”

You smiled at him. “Happy birthday, Stevie.” 

You could tell that he was too tired to playfully roll his eyes at the nickname you had for him that usually only came out during moments like these or whenever you were drunk. 

“Thanks,” He said instead, smiling back at you and letting out a small yawn. 

You walked around to the other side of the bed and got in, pulling the blanket over your legs. “Also, I’m sorry, but I’m an idiot and forgot to pack your present, so you’ll get it when we get back home Monday night.” 

He turned on his side to face you and rubbed his eyes. “Can I know what it is?” 

You nodded. “It’s that denim jacket that you saw a few weeks ago at our usual thrift store. I convinced you not to buy it because I wanted to get it for you. I went back and bought it the next day, and I also put some pins on it that I thought you’d like.”

Steve gave you a small tired smile. “Nice, I knew that you actually liked the jacket.”   

You laughed a bit. “I was honestly surprised that you didn’t immediately see through my lie.”

Steve didn’t say anything in response to that, and instead, you noticed his eyes slipping shut for a brief moment before he was looking at you in the darkness again. You smiled as you pulled the blanket off of you and got out of the bed.

“Okay, I’m gonna go. I’ll see you in the morning when we all go out for breakfast,” You told him, referring to the diner about ten minutes away that you had passed when you all were driving to the cabin and it looked fairly nice.   

“You can stay if you want,” Steve said as he turned and watched you head toward the door, and you shook your head at his words. 

“I know it’s only been a couple of hours, but I really like my bed,” You told him. It actually surprised you how easily you had found comfort in the full-sized bed. “So, goodnight and happy birthday again, Steven.”

You noticed his amused smile as he spoke. “No ‘Stevie’ this time around?”

“I wanted to spare you for a second.”

“That’s very considerate of you.”

“You’re welcome, Stevie,” You said with a nod and playful smile before you opened the door. 

You closed it behind you and then headed across the hall to the room that was designated as yours for the weekend. 

“Wait,” Hearing Steve’s voice at that moment surprised you; you hadn’t heard his door open again or the annoying creak of the floor. 

You turned to look at him, dropping your hand from your doorknob, and even in the darkness of the hallway you could tell that he looked much more awake than when you had left him just moments ago. 

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What’s wrong?” 

“I need to tell you something,” He said softly, and those words immediately made your mind travel back to that conversation you two had after playing basketball in the park. 

“Is it what you’ve been holding out on talking to me about for the past few weeks?” 

He gave you a small nod. “Yeah…”

During that conversation in his car all those weeks ago, he had said that what was going on with him was too hard to explain right then and you decided not to push him further on it because you knew that he’d tell you eventually. 

You weren’t entirely sure why you suddenly felt worried about it all and what he was going to say to you in this moment; maybe it was because of the look on his face that was a solid mix between serious and nervous. “Okay. What is it?” 

“I love you.”

The breath you let out was a mix between a laugh and sigh of relief because you were completely unfazed by his words. “Jesus, don’t scare me like that again. I love you too, Stevie.” 

Was that all he had to tell you? That didn’t entirely make sense to you because it wasn’t like you two hadn’t said those words to each other a million times before. You expected him to laugh and smile along with you, but he only shook his head at first, which made you confused all over again. 

“No,” He said, pushing a nervous hand through his messy hair. “I don’t mean it like how we’ve always meant it anymore. I’m… I’m in love with you.” 

There were only a handful of times that you could say that your best friend had ever rendered you speechless; it was hard to completely stun you into silence when it came to him. Not much that Steve did could ever truly surprise you or throw you for a complete loop because you felt like you knew him well enough that most of his actions just made sense. The last time it happened was when he suggested that you two get Harold, he had never been a huge pet person so it genuinely surprised you when he was the one to come up with the idea. 

And now you had another moment to add to the list; a moment that entirely topped all of the others. 

“Oh.” It was the only word that came to your mind at that moment, and it was barely even a word, it was more so a sound. But, it was the only thing you could say. You didn’t understand how it was possible for your mind to be simultaneously empty and running a thousand miles a minute. “Oh.” 

You could feel Steve’s eyes on you, but yours were fixed on the ground; your sock-covered feet and the dark wooden floors.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything,” He said, breaking the prevailing silence. And when you still couldn’t find any words to say in response to fill the quiet again, he started rambling. “This entire time, these past few weeks, I’ve been waiting for some sort of “perfect” moment to tell you, but nothing ever felt completely right. And then as you were leaving my room just now I realized that I don’t think that I was actually waiting for it to feel right to tell you— because, honestly, there were a bunch of moments where it did feel “right” enough. I was really just holding back because I was worried about what your reaction would be. And I don’t think there’d ever be a moment where I wasn’t at least a little scared or nervous to say it, so I finally decided to just do it now and tell you. But now, fuck, maybe I shouldn’t have said it.” 

“No,” You told him, suddenly somehow finding your voice and finally allowing yourself to meet his eyes. “No, um, honesty is good. You should be, uh— You should be honest about everything. We’re always honest about everything, y’know? It’s good that you said it, I think? Right?” 

You were certain that what you were saying didn’t make any sense; your mouth was moving much faster than your brain. 

A confused look crossed his face. “Okay? Yeah?” 

You dropped your gaze from his and turned around. “I’ll, uh, be right back. I just… I think I just need a second. I don’t know.”

You opened the door to your room and then stepped in, softly closing it behind you and leaving Steve on the other side. You let out a quick breath and leaned back against the door, shutting your eyes in the process, before sliding down it and sitting on the floor. It was cold and you could feel the goosebumps starting to rise on your legs that were only barely covered by your thin pajama shorts. But, the cold was surprisingly soothing, and focusing on that feeling helped clear your mind a bit. Slowly, your thoughts finally started making sense and your brain began moving somewhat normally again. 

The sound of the floor creaking on the other side of the door let you know that Steve was sitting down and leaning back against it too. You wanted to say something to him, but it still felt impossible to find any words right then. 

“I’m sorry,” You could hear his slightly muffled voice through the door. “I really didn’t want this to fuck things up between us, and now it has. And I’m sorry.”

“Things aren’t fucked up,” was what you immediately thought to say— it was actually the first coherent thought that came to your mind in the past few minutes— but, for some reason, it wouldn’t form on your lips. 

Steve’s past words started playing on what seemed like a constant loop in your head. 

I’m in love with you. I’m in love with you. 

The only way you could view this situation, the only way you would allow yourself to view it, was logically. You weren’t considering your own feelings in this moment— whatever they were; you weren’t sure how you were feeling, and you actually refused to think about it right then. 

“It’s not true, though,” You told him, making your voice loud enough so that he could hear you, even though it was hard to speak above a whisper.

“What?” 

“It’s not true,” You said again and then let out a small sigh as you leaned your head back against the door. “You’re not in love with me.” The words felt so weird falling from your lips, so foreign. “You can’t be. Whatever you think you’re feeling now, it’ll blow over in a couple days or whatever.” 

It was a thousand times easier having this conversation without having to look at him right then. You waited for him to agree with you, to maybe even let out a breath of a laugh as he said that you were right. Everything that happened in the past five minutes could become a moment that you two laughed at in a couple of weeks if he simply took it all back.

Remember when you told me that you were in love with me on your birthday? Yeah, that was kinda insane, right?

You actually couldn’t imagine playfully joking about this anytime soon. It would probably be the one thing between you two that would feel weird and awkward for a while— even more awkward than the moment when he accidentally walked in on you naked, and you accidentally did the same thing to him a few months later. But, just like those now unspoken of moments, this would blow over eventually too. 

“No, it is true,” Steve said instead and the absolute certainty in his tone surprised you a bit. “That morning after you picked me up from the bar, it just hit me like a ton of bricks, and it hasn’t changed since. That day at the park when we played basketball, I was jealous that you liked that guy and wanted to get his number, and that’s why I was being kind of an asshole.” He let out a small sigh. “And I did think that maybe all of this would go away and ‘blow over’ too, but it hasn’t. Honestly, it’s only felt more real.” 

You were quiet for a second, not knowing exactly how to respond to that at first. He was being a thousand percent honest— at this point, you knew that— but it was still just so hard to accept it all, to fully let yourself believe it. The thought of him wanting something more changed everything that you had been so sure of for the past almost ten years of friendship. 

“Okay, very dumb question incoming, but you remember us meeting, right?” 

“Yeah, of course,” Steve’s answer was immediate. “That cruise when we were ten. Our parents bumping into each other and meeting and then kind of forcing us to be friends, but we were both glad to hang out with each other instead of them, anyway.”

You nodded at his words even though he couldn’t see you, and felt yourself smiling as you started talking. 

“That trip was our first memory together, and it’s definitely still one of my favorites. We went to the arcade onboard like every day— I beat you a bunch of times at air hockey, but you were way too good at pretty much everything else. And we snuck into that stupid “club” meant for teens almost every night and never got caught, but we were still nervous about getting caught the entire time we were there. From the beginning, it was so clear what we were to each other, y’know? I think by the end of that trip I knew that you were my best friend. I knew that I wanted you in my life forever,” You said, slightly rambling and mindlessly starting to play with the hem of the t-shirt you were wearing, picking at one of the loose strings. “Basically, I guess what I’m trying to say is, the lines were clearly drawn pretty much the first day we met, and they’re not supposed to change.” 

Steve didn’t say anything, and it was then that you wished that you two were standing, or sitting, right in front of each other because you wanted to see his face and attempt to gauge whatever was going on in his mind right then.

“But, it did change,” Was his response after what felt like an hour’s worth of silence, and somehow it was hearing him say those four simple words that made you finally accept everything he had said in the past ten minutes. You finally found yourself believing him entirely. 

“At least, for me, it has,” He added, and there was something about the softness of the statement that managed to break you. A wave of tears hit you so abruptly that you didn’t even get a chance to process why it was happening before your vision became blurry. 

You sniffled and then sighed, haphazardly pushing away some of the stray tears that managed to slip out and attempting to swallow the apple-sized lump that now sat heavy in your throat. “Shit. I’m sorry. I don’t even know why I’m crying right now.”

“Can I come in?” 

Instead of verbally answering Steve’s question, you stood up and opened the door and he didn’t waste a second to pull you into his arms; he had seen you cry enough times to know exactly what to do at this moment. You wrapped your arms around him and buried your face in his chest, letting your tears soak his dark gray t-shirt, unable to hold them back anymore.

“It’s okay. I promise it’s okay,” He said softly as one of his hands lightly stroked your back. “Let’s just forget this ever happened; forget I said anything. I’ll get over all of it. We can just add this to the list of things to take to the grave, okay?” 

He took your crying as a rejection, your way of saying that you didn’t feel the same way without actually saying it to him. 

You didn’t see it that way, though. You honestly didn’t know how you felt— during this entire conversation, you hadn’t considered yourself. It just felt like second nature to immediately try and protect what you two had and not let it change in the slightest. 

When you pulled back and looked up at him, you didn’t really know what you were expecting to see, but he didn’t look sad or upset, he just looked concerned about you. 

You weren’t even entirely sure why you were crying at that moment. Everything that had happened in the past barely ten minutes just felt so overwhelming and confusing. 

You sniffled again and then found yourself nodding at Steve’s previous words. “Okay.” 

“Okay,” He gave you a small nod back. 

You glanced down at his t-shirt, quickly taking notice of the wet spot on it even in the near complete darkness you two were in. “Sorry about your shirt.”

He shook his head. “Doesn’t matter.” 

You hugged him again, pushing up on your toes and letting your arms circle around his neck. He didn’t hesitate to hug you back and that only made you hold him tighter.

“Can you stay in here, please?” You asked, voice quiet but Steve still heard you. 

You felt his nod in response and then moments later you and him were in your bed, not even bothering to get under the covers, and instead simply settling in a position that was completely familiar; your back against his chest, one of his arms wrapped around you and keeping you close, and heads against the pillow. You took hold of his hand and gave it a light squeeze, not completely knowing what you meant with the gesture. 

Neither of you said anything. Not for one minute, and then not for five according to the clock you took notice of on the nightstand.

There was a lot more that you knew the two of you needed to talk about. What just happened couldn’t be something that was forgotten and simply “taken to the grave.” It didn’t feel right to do that. 

However, you were falling asleep with your hand still intertwined with Steve’s before you could even try and think of something to say to him. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

When your eyes opened again, the first thing that you noticed was that it was still dark outside. You glanced at the nightstand, taking a look at the clock, and it surprised you to see that only two hours had passed; it felt like so much longer.  

You could feel Steve’s steady breathing behind you and that let you know that he was still sleeping. You shifted around to face him, surprisingly not waking him in the process. Your eyes were adjusted to the darkness that surrounded you both so you could see him pretty clearly; eyes shut and lips slightly parted and hair still a messy pile of bedhead.

For the first time probably ever you became so acutely aware of the close proximity between you two. You were only a few breaths away from each other, his arm was still around your waist, and your legs became a tangle of limbs. None of this had ever fazed you before, but it felt a little different now. 

But, it did change. 

It actually physically hurt realizing how right Steve was, and you had to close your eyes as you let the words swallow you whole for a second. 

There was still a part of you that wanted to not think about everything Steve had said— the I love you that meant so much more now— but it felt impossible to do that. It completely took over your thoughts; consumed them, really. 

You thought about how it was damn near effortless to picture something more with him; a something more that now felt so obvious, and in a way, so inevitable. You could see it all so easily.

You thought about past moments that had been shoved away for the sake of protecting your friendship. Late night drunk and high conversations shared between you and Steve that were always supposed to be long forgotten. Moments where the line between friendship and something more was playfully toed but never fully crossed, moments where you two would almost talk about actually crossing that line, moments where the smallest part of you would think about it.

Those moments, and the feelings that came along with them, were never supposed to be remembered when morning rolled around, but you always remembered them. And instead of doing anything about it or entertaining those thoughts in the slightest, you simply buried it all down and pushed it away. You placed all of those feelings in a box deep down inside of you that was never supposed to be opened. 

However, now with Steve’s burst of honesty, it was opened; and you honestly didn’t feel the urge to bury it and push it back down anymore. Instead, you let the feelings that would lead to completely uncharted territories between you and him wrap around you like a warm blanket and find a home in your heart. 

You opened your eyes again and let your gaze fall on Steve. You slowly pushed one of your hands through his hair, knowing that that would gradually stir him awake.

His eyes opened and he only blinked at you for a second before mumbling out a quiet, “Hi.” 

“Hi,” You said, matching his soft tone.

He gave you a curious look, and you knew that he was probably wondering why you woke him up. You simply stayed quiet for a moment, pulling your hand out of his hair and letting it find his cheek instead. 

“I love you too,” You whispered, not breaking his gaze. “I’m in love with you too.” 

Just for a second, there was a part of him that looked surprised hearing your words, but then he was smiling at you, the softest and sweetest smile that actually made your heart ache. 

Before he could say anything, you kept going. “And I’m sorry. I wish this could’ve been my reaction from the moment you said it first. I wish it would’ve hit me the second you said it. Books and movies make this thing look so much easier, but it’s actually really fucking hard.” 

“I know. That’s why it took me almost a month to tell you.” 

“I can’t believe I didn’t see it.”

“I’ve become a really good actor. Might make it my career now,” Steve joked and you laughed at that. 

He kept smiling at you and you smiled back. A comfortable silence took over as the two of you simply looked at each other, admiring one another in the darkness that you’d still be surrounded by for the next few hours. Your eyes flickered down to his lips for a brief moment and then met his gaze again. Out of all of the things that could’ve been said or done right then, it only felt right to close that last breath of distance between you two and finally do one of the few things that you had never done with one another. 

You let your nose brush against his for a brief second before you tilted your head upward a little and let your lips meet his. 

The kiss was chaste at first, Kindergarten-sweet, not much more than just a simple peck. But then Steve was quickly kissing you back, his hand squeezing your waist and pulling you impossibly closer to him, and your hand went from cupping his cheek to tangling within the hair at the nape of his neck. He deepened the kiss with a graze of his tongue against your bottom lip, which elicited the softest sound from you, and you were hit with the sudden thought that you never wanted this moment to end. You wanted to savor this first kiss, revel in it, pretend as if nothing else existed except for you and Steve and this moment that you wished you could drag out for minutes, hours, years.

In a way, it was a little confusing how even though this was completely new, it didn’t at all feel like it. Maybe there should’ve been at least a tiny bit of awkwardness laced within this moment, but the soft feel of Steve’s lips against yours felt familiar, like home, like it was something that should’ve happened a thousand years ago. It was so fucking right. 

You slowly pulled away when you needed to catch your breath and softly dropped your forehead against his, eyes still shut. “Shit. Fuck.”

Steve let out a breath of a laugh that fanned right against your cheek. “I agree.” 

You lifted your head and pressed a quick kiss against his nose before pulling back a bit, meeting his eyes, and giving him a small smile. “Hi.”

“Hi,” He said, smiling back and giving your waist a light squeeze. The warmth radiating from his touch made you wish that his hand was slipping past the hem of your t-shirt and actually touching your skin instead. 

A part of you wanted to let out a small happy laugh at how things had so easily shifted. You were finally kissing the guy that you’d known since you were ten and since an irreplaceable friendship was forged on that weeklong cruise trip. Steve was still your best friend, that didn’t feel like it had changed at all, but that didn’t mean that things weren’t different now; better, in so many unexpected ways. 

However, it also abruptly became a little scary— the thought of potentially losing everything you had with him if things ended badly.

That thought was why you had pushed all of your feelings away and never acknowledged them in the first place. There would always be that part of you that wanted to protect the friendship you two had. 

“Promise,” You held out your pinky for him to take. “Promise that whatever happens, if this doesn’t work out somehow, we will not make it weird or grow distant or leave each other. I can’t lose you in my life. I need you, no matter what.”

He didn’t hesitate to link his pinky with yours as he nodded. “Promise.” 

“And we should just keep all of this between us for now, maybe,” You said, the idea coming to you randomly but it made sense in your head; it felt like the logical thing to do. “Just in case.”

“Just in case?”

“Just in case we end up imploding immediately or something, I don’t know.”

You could tell that Steve couldn’t really see that happening— and in a way, neither could you— but at that moment he let himself agree with you, anyway. “Okay.”

Your lips found his again for a second before you shifted around and settled back in the position you two had fallen asleep in. Steve pulled you back against him, arm circling your waist, and you let out a sigh in contentment as he pressed the softest kiss against your neck.

A comforting silence began to linger and you broke it after a few minutes, hoping that Steve hadn't fallen asleep just yet.

“I’m really glad this is happening right now. Like, really, really glad. I love everything about this moment. And I love you. Like, a lot. And, yes, I know exactly how cheesy I sound right now."

His mouth brushed right against your ear and you could practically hear the smile in his voice as he spoke. “Yes, that was very cheesy. I loved it. And I love you too.”

You only grabbed his hand and pressed a soft kiss against it in response. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“Okay, dingus, I know that you’re probably gonna hate me for saying this,” Robin started as she set her mug back on the table of the booth the four of you had been sitting in for the past twenty minutes. The cup looked way too close to the edge of the table, so you reached out and moved it over a bit. “But, I really need you to get a picture of you and your smiley face pancake.” 

Eddie immediately laughed and nodded. “That’s a great idea.”

You turned and looked at Steve, smiling at him. “Please do it. It would be such a missed opportunity if that didn’t happen right now.”

He only rolled his eyes. “I hate all of you for telling the waitress that it’s my birthday.” 

The moment you mentioned it to Carol after she asked the reason why you all were in Denver for the weekend, she smiled and said a “Happy Birthday” to Steve before taking your orders. And then when everything came out, she also handed him a pancake that had a whipped cream smiley face, two cherries for the eyes, and a candle in the middle as the nose. 

Robin pulled the Polaroid camera out of her bag and pointed it at Steve. “Okay, hold up the plate and smile, birthday boy. God, I wish we had party hats right now.” 

“I’m glad we don’t,” He said with another eye roll but still proceeded to hold up the plate and give her a quick annoyed smile. 

When he put the plate back down, you stole one of the cherry eyes and then started on your waffle. The conversation shifted away from Steve and his adorable birthday pancake and went to talking about hitting the slopes in the afternoon. You had been in the middle of mentioning that the drive would only take about thirty minutes when you felt Steve’s hand find yours underneath the table and link it with his. The booth was small and you were already sitting shoulder to shoulder, so the action went completely unnoticed by your friends sitting across from you. 

You and Steve had held hands countless times before, but it felt so much more significant in this moment because now the meaning behind it was so different— this was no longer just a friendly handhold. It was hard to fight how much you wanted to immediately smile at the subtle action, but you kept your face straight and managed to finish out your thought. 

You fought the sudden urge you had to lean your head against his shoulder or kiss his cheek, and instead grabbed your mug with your free hand and took a sip of your coffee. You tried your hardest to pay attention to the conversation taking place at the table— Robin talking about how she was nervous about skiing for the first time, and Eddie saying that yes she probably would be bad at it. However, all you could really focus on was Steve; his hand intertwined with yours and the warmth radiating from the subtle touch. 

You felt equivalent to a lovesick teenager with a crush that actually wasn’t a crush at all because that word wasn’t enough to fully describe how you felt about him. It would be hard keeping this a secret for the time being, and the smallest part of you questioned why you even proposed that idea. But, for the most part, you still agreed with your “just in case” reasoning. If exploring this uncharted territory with Steve somehow ended up becoming the worst idea ever, it would be good that you didn’t tell anyone about it because you two could go back to being just friends without anyone else in the group knowing what happened. 

You hated thinking like that— that it all would or could end, that one or both of you would come to realize that this actually wasn’t a good idea. But, it felt too hard not to think about it for at least a split second. 

Steve gave your hand a light squeeze, it felt both comforting and questioning; maybe he could tell you were getting so deep into your head about something.  

“Feel free to steal the other cherry,” He told you. Your eyes met his and he gave you a look that said everything he really wanted to tell you at that moment but couldn’t, and you let your nonsensical worries wash away for the time being with that reassuring look. 

You placed your coffee mug down and then grabbed the second cherry from his plate, smiling at him as you did so. “Thanks.” 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

let me know ur thoughts<333

(requests are open for stuff you wanna see in the universe/series!🫶🏾)

[trippinsorrows]

without you + two

authors note: there's a couple moving parts at play here. some foreshadowing in this one as well. as things get more intense, i'll add appropriate cw/tw's.

do not read this story if you haven’t read ’with me’. it won’t work as a standalone.

warnings: none

song inspo: be without you by mary j. blige

one

words: 6k

Since having a conversation with Callie and reassuring her that nothing and no one could separate her from Y/N and Joe, she’s calmed down a bit with the possessiveness. She’s still very much interested in making him her personal playmate, which he doesn’t necessarily oppose, but she’s also just as interested in playing and spending time with Y/N as well.

It’s balanced out. 

Joe is even able to take Y/N out for date night that includes a hotel room and night spent with just each other while Callie stays the night at Kaylah’s house with Ellie. 

For all intents and purposes, it’s a bit of smooth sailing.

But now, it’s time for meetings.

Because while Joe is on indefinite leave from television and the ring, he still very much has a huge chunk of say in the creative direction of the Bloodline. Thus, scheduled meetings to discuss how that all plays out during his absence are occasional.

Joe is in the middle of listening to Paul and Hunter propose some ideas regarding Joseph, Solo, and his promotion with Joe being off air. He’s about to comment on something when there’s a small knock on the door. 

It’s followed up with the door opening, revealing Callie, her tablet and headphones in hand. Joe hits mute on the mic and computer and turns to her. “What’s up, baby girl?”

Instead of verbally responding, Callie walks over and climbs onto his lap. She hands him the tablet and headphones. “I wanna watch Moana.”

Joe chuckles. “I thought you were taking a nap with mommy.” A planned, scheduled thing because Y/N wanted to give Joe some privacy. Wanted to let him be able to focus and zone in on work without his little twin shadowing him.  

Not that that matters at this moment. There’s no way he’s turning his daughter away.

“I’m not tired.” She replies in the voice of a child who probably is in fact tired but too stubborn to actually sleep.

Joe takes the tablet, putting the passcode in and unlocking it as he gets to work on syncing her headphones.

Callie, meanwhile, looks around and realizes the computer is on, a video conference between the men at play. Curious, she asks in that sing-song voice. “What are you doing?”

Joe matches her tone, answering. “In a meeting.”

Head tilted, Callie follows up with a question he knows is really for something else. “How long is the meeting gonna be?” I.e. how much longer till he can play and spend time with her. 

It brings a smile to his face as she looks over at the screen, waving when she sees Joseph. He quickly hits unmute on both the mic and computer. 

“Hi, cousin Joseph!”

Joseph smiles, “what’s up, Callie?” He then asks. “What you been doing?”

“Playing with daddy!” She answers, leaning over closer to the computer than probably what’s necessary. “How come you and daddy have the same name?”

Joseph laughs, shrugging. “I guess our family really likes the name Joseph.”

Callie suddenly takes a bit of an attitude, correcting almost even though she’s literally the one who said they were the same names. “My daddy’s name is Joe.” 

Joe chuckles. She’s every bit of her mom sometimes. He beckons her to turn around to face him, placing her headphones over her ears. “She’s supposed to be taking a nap with her mama.”

Headphones on but nothing playing yet, Callie turns back to the screen and only then notices Paul and Hunter. She waves enthusiastically. “Hi, Mr. Hunter. Hi, Mr. Paul!”

They laugh and greet her, Hunter asking, “you don’t want to go take a nice nap? I sure wish I could take one.”

She pouts and shakes her head. “Naps are boring.”

“Spoken like a child,” Paul comments, asking Callie, “I bet you could stay up for a very long time, couldn’t you, Callie?”

She nods again, sharing, “one time, I stayed up till midnight.”

The men on the screen do a wonderful job of feigning surprise at her ludicrous admission. Meanwhile, Joe is trying to figure out just when in the hell this child stayed up so late.

But, that’s a conversation for another day.

He opens up Disney Plus, navigating to the Moana splash screen and reaching it to her. He’s not sure if she wants to resume or restart, so he leaves it up to her.

A small part of him thought she’d be on her merry way with her tablet and headphones all synched and ready to go, but he also knew better. Knows his daughter. Cause Callie only proceeds to sit further back against his chest, tablet in hand as her attention is now devoted to the screen in front of her.

He shakes his head, apologizing. “I guess she’s sticking around.” He adds, “her headphones are on, so she can’t hear anything.” His suggestion to buy her the noise canceling ones truly turned out to be the best decision. “Where were we?”

Hunter waves him off. “No worries. We’re all dad’s here.” It’s evident too in the way they interact with Callie and are completely unbothered by her presence, even if unexpected. “I was just running down your potential return timeline.”

Joe quickly checks, looking down to see if Callie is somehow snooping, but she’s completely in the Disney zone. Good. She doesn’t need to overhear any of this. “Alright.”

Hunter jumps right into explaining, “Here’s what we’re thinking. A possible return for Bad Blood which will set the stage for Bloodline Civil War 2 in November. Then from there, start preparation for WrestleMania.”

Joe nods, taking in the timeline, Hunter asking, “whatcha thinking?” A lot. He’s thinking a lot. “You know this is all still up in the air. Just wanna get an idea of when you plan to come back just so we’re ready and doing what we need to do to make that what it needs to be for you.”

And he knows that. Appreciates it. Truth be told, he hasn’t thought a lot about that. His return.  Largely due to the little girl in his lap, the woman upstairs sleeping in his bed as well as the children growing in her stomach.

His family. His family has been his priority. They always will be.

But, he understands that there’s still space to think about his career as well.

“Bad Blood is in October, right?” Y/N is due in September. That’s a month, if that, to be home with the babies. They’ll still be newborns.

“Would he be required to attend all SmackDown tapings following that return?” Paul asks a very valid question, once again proving why he’s such a valuable team member for Joe to have at this point in his career.

Hunter shakes his head. “No. No, of course not. The modified schedule will stay as Joe requested. The SmackDown show immediately following Bad Blood, he’ll need to be at, but we can mess around with specific shows he’s gonna be needed for when we get there.”

Joe nods, appreciative of Hunter willing to accommodate this new part time schedule. There’s no way in hell he could return back to being on the road full time. He couldn’t do that to his family.

Couldn’t do that to Y/N.

“Let me talk to Y/N.” It should be the answer everyone saw coming. “See what she thinks.”

Callie suddenly giggles and shifts on his lap, Joe glancing at the tablet to see it’s a scene with that brainless chicken from the movie. He gestures to her. “And especially this one.”

Hunter laughs a little. “Of course. Take your time. There’s no rush. Joseph’s got this.”

Joe turns his attention to his younger cousin. “You’re doing great already, man.” 

Joseph appears deeply appreciative of the kind words. “Thanks, Uce. That means a lot.” 

Hunter checks the time on his watch. “Well, I’ve got another meeting in a couple of minutes, so Joe just reach out when you have an answer or just to let me know where your head is. Or you can have Paul contact me too.”

“Will do. Thanks again for understanding.”

Hunter lifts his hands. “Hey. You know if anyone gets how important family is, it’s me.” He then suggests, “but a little father to father advice that I’m sure Joseph and Paul would agree with me on….make her take the nap.”

Paul nods almost as enthusiastically as Callie when she was waving. “Absolutely.”

Joseph chimes, shaking his head. “Man, if you don’t, you gon regret it later.”

Joe chuckles, taking it into consideration even though he’s pretty certain it won’t happen. Callie is too hype. Plus, what’s one day without a nap gonna do to her?

———-

Megan fucking hates being paired with Jeremy.

For one, he’s fucking boring.

For two, he’s old and balding.

For three, he’s too nice. And not even in an insincere way. He’s truly a nice, family oriented, God fearing man. All that is fine and shit if not for the fact they’re supposed to be trying to make a sale here. The goal is to end this informal virtual meeting with Roman Reigns at least expressing that he’ll consider the role.

It’s not going to be easy. All that Megan has heard via coworkers and her own deep dive is that the man is extremely family oriented and not interested in doing anything other than spending time with his pregnant fiancé and kid for the next couple months. If not longer.

Still, with the movie primarily filming in Florida and not starting for another month or two, she’s hopeful that their pitch will be enough to win him over.

Well, less she’s more hoping Jeremy will let her handle this.

She can be….very persuasive when it comes to men.

And Roman Reigns is the quintessential definition of what a man is. Because the minute he joins in on the call, all she sees is broad, muscular shoulders, pretty brown eyes and one of the most handsome men she’s ever seen.

Unfortunately, he’s not alone.

No. There’s a kid on his lap. His kid, she’d guess. The little girl has her head down, focused on something else, but even with that angle, it’s hard not to see the similarities.

It definitely kills her mood a little bit. Hard to fanasize about a man fucking you senseless with his kid sitting right there. Still, she does her best to hide the irritation and jumps to introductions before Jeremy can.

“Hi, Roman. It’s so nice to meet you. I’m Megan, and this is my colleague, Jeremy. We’re the reps from Apex that’ll be working with you, hopefully, on your next film.” She flashes him the most charming smile she can muster and nearly moans as he also offers a smile. Not as wide. Just as friendly.

“Nice to meet you both. Please. Call me Joe.” Megan crosses one leg over the other. Joe….it fits him. “I’m also sorry about my daughter being here. She’s really been enjoying me being home.” He ends with a chuckle, kid still not looking up. Good. Hopefully, she’ll stay quiet.

Jeremy’s annoying ass, however, just has to stay true to his gregarious nature. “No worries. I got three at home. I get it. What’s her name?”

Megan has to suppress an eye roll as Joe lightly taps on the little girl’s arm. She lifts her head, and he shifts her headphone so one ear is exposed.

He asks, “can you say hi and tell them your name?”

She pouts a little, voice soft and almost unsure. “Hi. My name is Calista.”

“What a very pretty name, Calista.” Jeremy is quick with the introduction. “My name is Jeremy, and this is my friend, Megan.” 

Megan has to force herself to tap into the truly non-existent kid-interacting skills she has. “Hi there, Lis.”

Her pout deepens as she corrects with a fucking attutude, “my name is Calista. Not Lis.”

“Callie,” Joe lightly chides Calista or Callie or whatever her fucking name is. Little brat shouldn’t be there anyway. “Be nice, baby girl.”

“It’s okay,” Megan smiles. One of the first things on the list will need to be finding the brat a boarding school of some sort. She seems pretty young, but there has to be something out there. “My apologies, Calista.”

Megan is relieved when the kid places the headphone back on, tuning out the adults. And to be fair, she’s not the only one turning out because while she’s partially annoyed Jeremy then takes over the handling of the meeting, it allows her time and space to fawn over the man on screen. 

God, he’s so damn handsome, and his smile is infectious. She finds herself pushing back her own smile whenever Jeremy makes one of his lame ass dad jokes that somehow Joe seems to find funny. 

Must be a father thing.

The request for his real name to be used leads to Megan subtly grabbing her phone and googling him yet again. She can never remember his last name. It’s complicated as fuck.

Anoa’i. 

She doesn’t know how to pronounce it but decides to save that for another conversation. Preferably when his failed Plan B isn’t around. 

She finds herself doodling on her legal pad. 

Megan Anoa’i.

She can’t help the smile this time around. The pronunciation may still be unknown, but it looks damn good on paper.

Way better than Y/N Anoa’i.

But speak of the fucking devil, and she will appear. 

Because Megan watches Joe turn his head to the side and gesture over someone who turns out to be Y/N herself, thanks to Jeremy saying something about wanting to say hi.

God, she hates this man.

Y/N apologizes, and Megan has to hold back her scowl at the woman on screen, her hand on her big ass pregnant stomach. 

“Hi. I’m sorry,” she chuckles, other hand moving to Calista’s shoulder. “I just came to get this one who was supposed to be taking a nap with me.” She leans down, kissing the side of the little girl’s neck, making her giggle.

Good lord. Is this a fucking family reunion?

Jeremy also laughs. “Don’t worry about it. She’s semed real focused on that tablet versus any of our boring conversation.”

Megan forces herself to join in even though it literally kills her to talk to this woman. Like seriously, what the hell does Joe see in her anyway? If they only had one kid, she’d bet it’s because the bitch trapped him with a kid. But now two kids?

Maybe she gives good head or something.

Megan is better though.

“Oh, I bet whatever she’s watching is way cooler.”

Y/N lands her eyes on Megan. “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name?”

Megan forces a deeper smile and little laugh. “Megan. I’m sorry, I don’t think I offered it. Sometimes, I space out a bit during these types of things.”

“Don’t even worry about it. I’m a teacher. I get it.” She doesn’t remember asking this bitch what she does for a living but okay. “I’ll just escort this one….” 

Caliope or whatever the fuck her name is starts to whine, and it’s irritating as fuck. “I wanna stay with daddy.”

“Daddy’s gotta work,” Y/N emphasizes, offering a potential compromise Megan hopes the kid goes for. “Come help me make dinner, and you can have ice cream for dessert.”

That does it as the girl gasps, jumps off Joe’s lap, and sprints off, out of view. Good.

Y/N laughs and waves bye. “It was nice meeting both of you.” The feeling isn’t mutual, but Megan musters up another smile and feels utterly relieved when they both leave.

If only Jeremy would do the same that way things could be as they should.

Just Megan and Joe.

—-------------

Mom: Hi, baby. Just got out of evening service, and you fell heavy on my spirit. I just want you to know I’m always here for you, and I know I always raised and told you how strong we as black women are. But, I don’t know if I told you enough how we don’t always have to be strong.

Mom: You’re about to be a mother again to three babies at the same time. That’s a lot on anyone, even with the support you’re gonna have. I guess what I am trying to say is that I hope you know you can always talk to me if you need it. 

Mom: Talk to Joe. Your sister. Someone. Just never think that you’re alone.

Mom: Love you, and I’ll try to call you tomorrow. ♥️

You have to read over your mom’s texts a couple of times before shaking your head and chalking it up to her just being an overtly concerned mom who’s worried about her daughter who just moved away from home. 

Regardless, you appreciate her kind words even if they don’t necessarily seem….well…..necessary.

There was a bittersweet theme to your first pregnancy, the absence of Joe and not having him as your partner noticeable, maybe more than you initially realized. But, that was then, and this is now. He’s back in your life. For good. You’re about to commit yourself to this man until death do you part.

You’re about to welcome three beautiful babies in the fall. The most strength you’ll need to deal with whatever stress or trial your mom believes is coming will probably be limited to the fact that you’ll have to push out three children at the same damn time.

And even then, Joe will be right by your side.

So again, while you forever love your mom and her thoughtfulness, she’s worried for nothing.

The person who should be worried is your future husband who suddenly walks into the bedroom, brushing his hands together. “Okay, kitchen is all clean, Callie Bear is sleep—” You snort, grabbing the remote to pause the episode of Judge Judy you were watching. “What?”

“Didn’t you say you didn’t make her take a nap today?” 

He looks from side to side confused. “Yeah. She said she wasn’t tired.”

Covering your mouth to hold in your laugh, you inform him as kindly as you can, “then that child is not asleep.”

“I put her down for bed. She was falling asleep when I left.”

You sigh. Your poor, handsome future husband is so naive. “Did you take her tablet when you left?”

“No, cause she was sleep.”

“Joe, I bet you any money that lil’ girl is in her room right now on that tablet watching Disney Plus or playing Roblox cause I know you forgot to put the passcode back on it too.” He opens and then closes his mouth. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” You sit back against the pillows, grabbing a couple more pretzels from the bag you were eating out of. “You’re gonna have to go in there and set her lil’ ass straight. Because she’s gonna be irritable as hell too since she didn’t have her nap.”

He sucks his teeth. “I keep telling you she’s sleeping.” You roll your eyes, chewing on the pretzels and sipping some of your sweet tea. “And if she’s not for some reason—”

“She’s not.”

“—I’ll just tell her to go to sleep.”

That makes you almost choke on your food. “That’s funny. You think it’s just gonna be that easy? Joe, you haven’t seen Callie throw a tantrum before. She’s a lil’ nightmare. You can’t be that super sweet daddy. You gotta be stern with her.”

He shakes his head. “I got this, okay?”

You lift your hands in a defensive position. “Okay.” Grabbing the remote to hit play, you start humming the Undertaker music as he walks away. 

“Annoying ass,” he mutters under his breath, exiting the room. 

Joe is more than certain he’s about to prove you wrong and come back with a smug ass disposition that’ll lead into taking advantage of Callie being sleep by fucking you senseless and reminding you why you also call him daddy.

There’s only one problem with his plan.

Callie is very much not sleeping and instead sitting near her play area.

On that damn tablet.

It takes a second for him to take in the scene before him. “Callie, why aren’t you in bed?” 

She ignores him, continuing to play on her tablet. “Calista.”

It’s only then she whines out, “what?”

That takes Joe back for a second. He can’t recall a time where she’s said as such. “Don’t what me. I thought I told you to go to bed.”

She murmurs, mouth pouted. “I don’t want to go to bed.”

Fuck. This is the first time he’s actually had her push back on him. Experienced a side of Callie that isn’t 100% agreeable. “Callie, it’s late, and you need to get in the bed. Now. I’m not gonna—”

“Be quiet,” she whines, cutting him off, turning her back toward him. 

Joe is nearly rendered completely silent. He’s never known Callie to be capable of disrespecting anyone like this. 

“Callie.” Joe tries to make his voice sound stern. Emphasis on try. Because as frustrated as he’s getting, she’s still his little girl. “It’s time for bed.”

She’s unmoved, still sitting in the corner on her tablet as she shouts out, “I don’t want to go to bed!”

Joe has to mentally count backwards from 10 before trying yet again to get his almost 5-year-old daughter to just go to bed. “I understand that, Callie, but you need your sl—“

Again, she cuts him off, hitting the ground as she screams, “I said no!”

Joe closes his eyes and shakes his head. Without another word, he’s down the hall and in the master where you’re still laid comfortably up in the middle of the bed snacking on some pretzels and enjoying the court case on the TV.

You land your eyes on him, head tilted as you ask with an intentional amount of inauthentic sweetness, “how’d it go, Mr. Gentle Parenting?”

He rolls his eyes and crosses his arms. “Fine. You win. She’s not listening at all. What should I do?”

You smirk and close up the bag of pretzels, carefully climbing out the bed. “Watch and learn, Daddy.” You clap your hands to get rid of the salt remnants, providing him some context on just how he got here. “Because you didn’t make her take her nap, she’s extra irritable because she’s tired even though her lil’ stubborn ass is too hard headed to realize it. So you gotta be extra bold with her.”

You can tell he’s partially confused or just not in agreement, clearly needing a demonstration. Taking his hand, you lead him out of your shared bedroom and into hers. 

“Calista Manaia Anoa’i, if you don’t get your little ass off that damn tablet and into the bed right now.” His eyes widen a bit at your tone. You’re not yelling, not screaming, but you’re definitely not using the typical tone used with her.

Callie looks up from her tablet with determination that’s a bit wavered. “But, I’m not sleepy!”

You cross your arms over your chest. “I don’t care if you’re sleepy or not. Your daddy and I say it’s time for bed, so it’s time for bed, sis.”

“But—”

You lift a finger to silence her. “Calista. I brought your little butt in this world, and I’ll take you out.” You point to her bed. “Bed. Now.”

Joe watches with slight amazement as Callie stomps over to hand you her tablet and stomps right back over to her bed, climbing in, still pouting. 

“And don’t you ever disrespect your dad like that again, you understand me, lil girl?” She doesn't say anything, but she doesn’t need to because you know she knows you mean business. 

But it’s when her bottom lip starts to tremble and she starts to ‘cry’ that Joe damn near acts like the girl just got her arm broken. 

He starts moving toward her. “Cal—”

You stop him, however, instead telling Callie, “if you wake up in the middle of the night and wanna come sleep with us, you can.”

But Callie is too busy with her tearless crying, shouting again, “I don’t want to go to bed!”

Ignoring her, it literally takes you lightly pushing on Joe’s chest to guide him out of the room as you close the door to her bedroom, partially obscuring the sound of Callie screaming.

“She’s upset. We can’t just leave her.” He seems just about as upset as his unruly four-year-old twin.

You turn around and correct him. “No, she’s throwing a tantrum because she didn’t get her way.” And before he can protest, you point out, “did you see any actual tears coming out her eyes? Exactly.”

“But—“

You wait until the two of you are back in the room before placing your hands on his chest, trying to butter him up a bit before hitting him with the truth. “Baby, I love you so much. You’re such a good dad, but when it comes to this discipline thing, you suck.” He rolls his eyes. “I told you she’s a nightmare when she’s having one of her temper tantrums.”

He really has no need to worry about her. You’ve done this song and dance countless times to know how it works. In less than ten minutes, she’ll be out like a light. 

Joe scoffs. “Yeah, well, she gets all that attitude from you.”

You can only also roll your eyes because he’s not entirely wrong. Joe is legitimately a chill ass person. You’re the one who’s got the smart mouth from time to time. Or maybe more often than not. “Maybe so, but you still love me and all my attitude so….” 

He moves his hands to your ass, pulling you into him. “Damn straight….”

And before he can kiss you, you hit him with the truth you’ve been sitting on since this afternoon. “So are you gonna willingly tell me about that movie they want you to be in or do I have to fuck it out of you? I mean, I’m cool with either.”

“How about we skip the movie talk and just fuck instead?”

“Nice try.” You lean up and kiss the corner of his mouth. “Get to talking, baby.”

“I knew your ass overheard something.”

“I’m a mother, Joe. I hear and see everything.” Moving away to grab your bag of pretzels, you again remind him. “Now start talking.”

He shrugs. “It’s an action movie.”

“Not just any action movie, they’re rebooting Reacher and want you to have a leading role. Baby, that’s huge. You know that’s one of my favorite shows too. The only man I would ever consider leaving you for.” It’s more a joke than anything, even though Alan Ritchson is not hard on the eyes at all. “Seriously, Joe, it’s a great opportunity.”

“I get that, Y/N, but I’m taking a break from work.”

“No, you’re taking a break from wrestling. There’s a difference.” You motion him over to the bed, patting the spot next to you. He comes and plops his body down. “I heard them, Joe. It’s filming here in Florida. Less than what, an hour away?” His silence is the answer. “And you wouldn’t even need to be there all the time. 2 or 3 days out of the week, max.”

Realizing what’s probably got him most hesitant, you close up the pretzels, placing the bag back on the nightstand. Sliding closer to him, you place his hand on your stomach. “Joe, I’ll be fine. The babies will be fine. Callie will be fine not having her best friend around 24/7. It’s not like you’ll be on the road like you are with wrestling. You’ll still be close enough if we need you.”

“I don’t want you feeling like I’m putting my career first.”

“I would never think that, Joe. Ever. With everything you’ve done for us, there’s no question where your focus is.” This man has been too good to you for you to ever even think he’s about anything other than his family. “I just think this would be great for your career, and I know you’re at least a little bit interested or else you wouldn’t have even agreed to hear them out.”

The guy seemed cool. The woman was alright. Just your average looking white woman. Nothing to write home about. But, they represent something much bigger, an amazing opportunity for Joe to further his career, to possibly transition into something else fully when his wrestling days are done.

“Besides, you said it yourself, you didn’t have to go to Hollywood, Hollywood came to you.” You do your best to imitate him from one of his stellar promos. It makes him smile and laugh a bit.

“Yeah….” He then shares. “Met with Hunter today too, and he asked if I would be open to returning around October.”

You shrug, no strong opinion on that. “That sounds reasonable to me.”

He looks at you, an expression of disagreement on his handsome face. “The babies will only be a month or so old.”

“I’m aware.” You move your hand to the hair at the nape of his neck. “But, you’re still gonna transition to the part time schedule once you return, right?” He nods. “So, it’s not like you’ll be gone consistently. My mom will probably still be here. Kaylah’s here. Alexis is here. We have a really great support system, baby. It doesn’t have to be all on you.”

“What about Callie?” He asks, clearly a high priority point for him. You as well, but Joe’s concern is probably a bit deeper than what’s necessary. “She’s already scared I’m going to leave her.”

“And you will sometimes, because that’s the nature of what you do. We’re working with her on that though.” And you are. Gradually getting Callie to a place where she isn’t as anxious about something happening to her parents. “Plus, she’ll be in kindergarten at that point, so it’s not like she’ll be moping around the house all sad. She’ll also have ballet.”

Not wanting to be too pushy, you decide to leave the ball in his court. “It’s completely up to you, Joe. Just know whatever you decide, I support you, baby.” You take his hand in his. “I’ve also been thinking about the wedding.”

He looks down at you. “And?”

“I think we should wait until next summer to have it.” Before he can protest or ask follow-up questions, you explain, “I don’t want to walk down the aisle big and pregnant. Plus, there’s realistically not enough time for us to plan a wedding before the babies get here. Not to mention, trying to coordinate everyone’s schedule so the people we want to attend can do so is virtually impossible with such a short timeframe.” Because you can’t imagine having a dream wedding if the people you love and care about the most can’t be present. “The babies will be almost a year old. It gives everyone time to clear their schedule. I won’t be as big as a house…it’ll just be better that way.”

You know he knows that you’re right. He doesn’t appear to be happy with it though. “I hear you. I just….” He scratches his beard. “I hate the idea of having to wait that long for us to get married.”

Frowning, you agree with him there. “Me too, but—”

“What—” He cuts you off, looking at you. “What if we didn’t?”

For a second, your heart stops. “Didn’t get married?”

He’s quick to shoot that down. “No. No. The opposite. What if….what if we got married now?” And just like you, he jumps straight into explanations. “We can still have a wedding. As big or whatever as you want it to be, because you deserve that. I wanna give you that. But…but what if we just legally got married now and the wedding is just for the social and show aspect of it?”

The more he talks, the better you’re able to follow along. “Like….like we just go to the court house?”

Your voice must unintentionally indicate some level of disagreement. “I know it’s not how you probably imagined it—”

Cutting him off, you place your hand over his that’s still resting peacefully on your stomach. “I would marry you under a bridge if that’s what it took, Leati.” His eyes soften as your lips curve into a small smile. “But, we don’t need a bridge, because we’re going to the court house.”

He seems genuinely surprised. “Yeah?”

It’s not a hard sell. At all. You love this man. He’s your best friend. Your lover. Your soulmate. Being married legally before the actual wedding is actually a brilliant idea. You want more than anything for you all to share the same last name. 

Smirking, you get up and climb onto his lap, your baby bump providing a little bit of a barrier.

“Alexa.” You call out, locking eyes on him as you make your request. “Play Let’s Get Married by Jagged Edge.”

———-

“.....Because I am Wrestlemania!”

Megan’s thin lips turn upwards into a big smile. She likes the video and adds it to her ‘Lover ♥️’ playlist on YouTube. Private, of course. It must be the 50th video she’s added. She quickly clicks the back button to see the result list that has nothing but Roman Reigns videos.

Watching him, watching Joe is such an experience. It’s fascinating to her how he can be such a dominating, narcissistic presence on screen but such a gentle soul behind the scenes. It’s fascinating and impressive as hell how he navigates both roles so seamlessly.

Makes him even more attractive. 

But, it’s when a video with Cody Rhodes from the latest SmackDown show appears in her list that she scowls. Megan still can’t believe Joe actually dropped the belt for her. For Y/N.

She’s read articles, seen the gossip on wrestling blogs. The internet wrestling community seems to be torn on that. Half say it was time anyway and that Cody needed to ‘finish the story’ while the other half say Joe himself asked to be relieved so he could spend more time with his family.

And with that fat bitch pregnant with his second child, the second choice seems more believable to her.

Megan groans and turns on her back. She truly cannot see nor understand why Joe ever settled with the likes of that. This man is a god among men, yet he chose a maggot.

He reproduced with that unworthy bitch. 

She grabs her phone and goes to his profile again, the latest option in her search history. His page is nearly perfect, filled with Roman based posts except for the last three. No. He just had to ruin the algorithm by posting them. The first personal post is a picture of him, Y/N, and the spoiled little brat, Cathy. The caption is long and essentially him defending them. 

From what Megan read online as well as what Paige sent over, Y/N had an ex best friend that leaked a lot of shit online. Some true. Some untrue. Apparently, ever since getting slapped with a slate of lawsuits, one or two of which could include jail time, she’s gone dark.

Unfortunate considering she almost got rid of Y/N for Megan.

The second post is of the bitch. From some date night he took her on or something.

What-fucking-ever. 

And the latest post is of the kid with some sappy caption.

Again, what-fucking-ever.

Humming his theme song, Megan climbs off the bed and opens up her top dresser drawer. She digs around, pulling out her favorite red lingerie set and putting it on. Grabbing her phone, she moves to her bathroom, using the mirror attached to the back of the door to snap a couple photos. 

Settling on her favorite photo, she uploads the photo, smiling at her caption.

[drenched-in-sunlight]

Your genuinely one of my favorite elden ring artists, what would you say is your favorite aspect of elden ring just in general

this might be a big revelation but i think my favourite part about Elden Ring is i... actually don't really like it until the DLC.

the way the base game presented a kinda basic and fragmented story, one i'd even say i were underwhelmed about. because i went in expecting Sekiro-level of character driven writing (they did promise that in an interview) and what i got... ehhhh. that's why my fanarts for the base game is literally just fluff pieces and shipping Malenia with another character altogether that isn't even in the game. meanwhile my AC6, Sekiro and Bloodborne art... i think you can tell i have a very deep emotional connection to those games from the kind of work im putting out for them. (hell, before the DLC i actually was thinking "well i'll probably only draw some general fanarts after the DLC then go back to draw more JJK stuffs lol" famous last words)

but holy mother of God the way the DLC completely blew everything tf up.

sorry Fromsoftware, i were not aware the Sekiro character-driven part is actually about the DLC. im sorry im still not familiar with your game yet 😭

(this turns into a mini rant so imma put it under cut OTL)

before, i were pretty "...." about Elden Ring female cast. i think Melina appears too little, i think NPCs like Fia and Roderika... i can't figure out the significance of them within the narrative at all. and it kinda upset me because it feels like they regress back to the helpless / fanservice maiden trope that was usually seen in DS franchise for no reason. i don't like how Rennala ends up as and i don't like not knowing why Radagon did that to her (which turns to me not liking the way it became a popular fanon that he actually loved her he was just bound by duty etc etc...i mean what?), i actually don't even really like how Malenia's barely-there story turns out (but that's a rant for another day).

as standalone characters, sure, i'd say they all have their own merits, but if they don't play any role within the narrative... what's the point then?

but all of that is because back then, we literally did not know what's Marika's deal either.

and so she became this cardboard that everyone pins all the crimes and bad things in the world on, which is... fine? makes sense. but the following line of reasoning that she did all that because she's just...like that drives me up the wall. if i want another "woman bad" story i'd just replay DS2 😭

and that line of thought also distance her from other characters in the game. those stories are not lining up, so we literally see no point in anything.

but by giving us Marika's story in the DLC they:

shine light on the possible division between two Numen factions (Anna & Jolan story + Sword of Light & Darkness // no one is left in Marika's home (those embraces Light/Gold/ Greater Will and its Stars children) vs the Numens in Eternal City (those embraces Dark/ Black Moon/ opposing GW and its children)

the discontent with the Moon and how there are those who will never accept it as being equal to the Stars

the other half situation

the Marika's eye colour possible reveal (link her to Roderika - Roderika as a reflection of the maiden Marika once was and probably still is deep down)

give Godwyn more agency in his ending (his personal knights are on a quest for Age of Duskborn) -> link Marika to Fia (Fia as a reflection of the mother Marika is)

draw direct parallel between Messmer - the child carrying Marika's vengeance for the past, to Melina - the child carrying Marika's hope for the future

Marika as a God full of human flaws >< Miquella as a God devoid of all human emotions. both are bad in different ways. but share a same gentle origin of a simple wish for a kinder world.

the DLC singlehandedly swipes clean every problem i have with the base game. like im actually in awe they managed to do that so efficiently 😭

all that is to say. my favourite aspect of all is truly how one's perspective of this one character could alter the entire story.

i still dislike the interpretation that Marika is cold and heartless or that's she's cruel for no reason, but at the same time, i can see how ppl viewing her that way affect how they see other events in the game. just like how my view of her changes my entire view of the story itself too. and i just love how the writers pull that off really skillfully. man. and i think that's sth so unique to videogame storytelling. it's amazing!

[theunaveragepsychoticbitch]

This Fucks

[Dry humping, but it gets wet pretty fast. AMAB Reader. AFAB Barbie. Grinding, daydreaming, pussy eating, Barbs wears panties at the end, Barbs calls you Master, crack-ish. Standalone series]

Pt. 1

And then he'd ride you, fast and hard. He'd feel you through your boxers, through his own panties. He'd claw at your shoulders when you grinded against his clit just right and tears would fall as his eyes fluttered. He'd scream out-

"I guess you like the outfit?" And- wait, no, that's not what happens.

An amused huff punctuated your sentence, and as you eye him, several realizations hit him at once:

One, he was unbelievably wet. The throb of his clit and the uncomfortable wet feeling of his underwear clinging to his skin left him barely able to hold back a grimace, less he have to explain that to you too.

Two, he'd gone completely still in his daydream. How long had he been staring blankly at you, red in the face and just barely starting to breathe heavy? The only thing that could make this worse would be if he'd been wearing his summer uniform, the layers thin enough you'd have definitely seen his nipples perking through his shirt.

Third- he was wearing the summer uniform.

"Yes, I, it's very nice... my deepest apologies."

Your response comes paired with a toothy smile, and he swears he can feel himself getting wetter. "No problem, I know you have a lot on your plate. Hell, I'm distracting you right now, aren't I?"

You definitely were, just not in the way you think.

"I'll text you tonight then, Barbs. See you later~"

He nods, sad to see you go. You're his favorite distraction, his most coveted one easily. You probably think you were being a nuisance now.

Barbatos walks you out, waving and watching until you turned the corner out of sight. He sighs, locking the door behind him and heading straight for the nearest bathroom.

-------

He's baking cookies for you today. Soft, melty chocolate chip- just how you like it. In fact, he's baking a variety of pastries: donuts and cupcakes, all in your favorite flavors. He's making an "I'm sorry" basket for his shameful behavior the other day.

As he begins to glaze the donuts, hands drift over his waist, settling in place and pulling him closer- ass first -to your dick. He could feel it through your uniform; did you just get out of class? The lingering scent of potions gone right and wrong alike met his nose, and he chuckled, eyes crinckling at the corners when he smiles.

"You didn't even bother to change, I see."

Your lick the cuff of his ear, whispering into it. "Needed you too bad." By all nine of the circles. There was a greedy rasp in your voice, like you could barely speak through your own desire. Your hands got firmer as they slid down to hold his hips. Your thumbs massage circles into his ass as you give a few test thrusts, seeing how thick the material on his pants were.

He looks back to find you scrunching your brows as if in deep focus.

"I want these off." You say, your tone deadpan.

Barbatos jumps to obey, donuts completely forgotten, and you help him, shimmying his pants down as he undoes the buttons. You undo your own, and then it's briefs to boxers as you hump him, rocking him against the counter and making his eyes roll back. He's obsessed with the feel of it, how hard it is, leaving no room for mistaking how much you want him.

He's close, fuck, fuck, he's so close. You are too, going by the way your thrusts get more and more aggressive. Barbatos' eyes squeeze shut, and as his peak gets closer and closer, he can feel that tightening in his stomach, making him tense up right before the big-

His eyes spring open, immediately locking on where his hands have burst an entire piping bag of glaze onto one donut. Embarrassment at getting so caught up paints his face a lovely shade of rouge, getting even darker as he realizes that glazed donut holes are not the best distraction for... well, glazing (non) donut holes.

Once again, his underwear clings to his cunt, providing the slightest friction against his senstive clit as he moves about the kitchen, cleaning up his mess.

He sighs as, also once again, he makes his way to his room to clean up a different mess.

(–>Himself)

--------

"Fuck me, you're doing great 'batos."

Your hands are on his hips, helping him bounce on your clothed boner. You've barely got ten minutes- you both have places to be. Him, a meeting, you, a class. But that didn't stop you from sliding your pants to your knees and leaning heavily on a side table in one of the castle's many forgotten salons, nor him from showing you the pretty pink panties he put on today in the hopes you'd get to see them.

With your bulge fitted comfortably between his cheeks, he switched from bouncing to rolling, gyrating his hips and crying out like a whore as you groaned into his back, sinking your teeth into the blushed skin of his neck. Just low enough the collar of his uniform covers it, of course. You're nothing if not courteous.

As your blunt nails sink into his flesh, Barbatos starts to wonder if this is what insanity feels like. Delirium colored with the pinks and reds of lust, your groans like a mantra in his ears he can't, won't, get rid of. The ache of his own pussy consumes him- you're breathtakingly close, yet it's never enough for him. His greed is as constant as his heart beat, a steady rhythm of "more".

Your chest to his back, your breath on his ear. He'd soaked through his panties long ago and knew they'd be nothing short of ruined when he came. Cumming on your cock, even through your clothes... it was so good. God, you felt-

"-so good! Thank you by the way, I never would have fixed that without you."

And just like that, the time demon returns to the present.

------

Despite the cold of the room, sweat rolls down the back of his neck as he thinks,

'What am I supposed to tell you this time?'

Barbatos can feel you staring at him, but it seems the floor is particularly interesting today. He can't keep his eyes off it- or rather, he can't keep his eyes on you.

A faint sunset pink dusts his cheeks, and in a manner much unlike his usual held-together persona, he fiddles with the edges and fingers of his gloves, tapping his foot against the shining wooden floors and licking his lips a rather unnecessary amount.

"Nervous?"

He chuckles when you ask, but there's no humor in it. He still doesn't look at you. He wishes he could go back to work. He's on his break right now, which he usually doesn't take, but took advantage of for your sake. It's only thirty minutes, but it feels like hours.

"There's no need for anxiety, Barbs. I just wanna talk..." You trail off into silence, polite on your part, suffocating on his. Leaning over, you take a sip out of the tea you personally prepared for this occasion. It held not so much as a candle to Barbatos', of course, but you thought it'd be a good change of pace for something like this.

'They're gonna hate me.'

He's so sure of it, not even a peek into the future would change his mind. You'd learn of his disgusting habits and shame him, then tell him you never wanted to see him again. It was inevitable.

"Barbatos,"

He tenses involuntarily at hearing his name.

"You've been distant lately, you know?" You watch his face as you talk, speaking slowly and gently, as if trying to calm a scared animal. "Avoiding me so actively that everyone has noticed, making excuses everytime I ask to hang out, and disassociating when we actually do. What's happening to us? Did I do something wrong?"

'Fuck.'

The thought is followed by budding tears in his eyes. He's ruined everything, and to top it off, you think it's your fault.

What the hell was he supposed to say to you?

"My apologies Master, I find myself lost in thoughts of your dick sandwiched between my asscheeks."?

Get serious.

....but as his own voice meets his ears, things do get serious. Very, very, very quickly.

The room empties of sound, not even a breathe to be heard. But as loud as his heartbeat is in his ear, there's no way you're deaf to it.

How the fuck did he accidentally say that aloud? Of all God-forsaken things-

"I... are you serious?"

For the first time since entering the room, he looks at you. Your face is oddly.... blank. He can't read your eyes, but your posture is rigid as you rest your forearms on your knees, hands tightly clasped around a small teacup.

There's no use lying now. It'd only serve to make things more awkward. This was his punishment, he was sure of it- to die in flames of embarrassment, haunted by this day for the rest of forever.

"I... suppose there are more choice words to be used. But yes. I want you quite badly, Master. Need you, even. And it's ruining my immortal life." The last part is no more than a whisper, but you hear him as though he yelled it.

"I know I've ruined our relationship. I've let your kindness go to my head, and find myself unsatisfied with standing quietly behind you. I wish to be by your side."

He's said so much, too much, but it's as if the words run from his mouth on their own. He bites down, almost drawing blood as his fangs dig into the soft skin.

You're silent, still as unreadable as a closed book. He feels out of place in his skin under your gaze. It's unwavering strength begins to unnerve him as he prepares for a verbal beating.

"Beside me, or under me?"

He'd say it's his turn to be speechless, but the shit eating grin on your face makes him think you knew exactly what you were going to say a long time ago.

Nevertheless, he answers seriously. Thinking back, it may have been the shock that made him answer so honestly.

"..both."

You smile wider, a wild look in your eyes.

"Both is good."

And in the following seconds, Barbatos was hit with realizations of several things, once again:

One, you were messy. The table was cleared of dishwear, utensils and food alike in a quick swipe of your arm. Hopefully, you didn't expect him to help clean it up later.

Two, you weren't and never have been a weakling. You lifted him with an ease he'd only seen out of Beezlebub, or Diavolo. Despite his size, he was pure muscle, and quite heavy. But you didn't even break a sweat as you held him bridal and layed him out on the table, gentle as a lover should be.

Three- it was just as big as he'd imagined.

You fit yourself between his legs, holding them wide open as you grabbed his waist to pull him to you. You whisper under your breath, and the lights flicker before dimming down. Your eyes are alight with something that scared him as much as it aroused him. It was bright, fierce, hot. Like passion, but so much more intense. It had to be in your blood, pumping throughout your whole body and heating your skin till it burned at the touch.

Scorching fingers caressed him through his clothes, dragging down his torso as if imagining how easily they could rip through the fabric, the shreds joining the shards of glass on the floor. Your bulge pressed into him more and more as you tried to get closer, as though dizzy-headed with the thought of fucking him deep.

God, he wanted you to fuck him deep. Maybe he was the dizzy-headed one.

"What did you dream about, Barbatos? Tell me everything, my love."

'Such a sweet talker.' He thought. But he lied if he said it didn't make his pussy throb.

"You had me just like this... with your face in my neck, telling me things, as you..." He blushes, and it encourages you closer. Chest to chest, your voice is a sultry whisper in his ear. "As I what, darling?"

He gulps audibly, nervous fingers grasping the sides of your shirt. You can hear a tremble in his voice, "You... you were dry humping me. Slow, but hard, and relentless. There were tears in my eyes."

He doesn't know what he expected, can't explain why his breath caught in his throat when you began to rock, slow, but hard. One hand cradled his face as he closed his eyes tight, overwhelmed by the drag of your cock over his clothes. You were pressing on his clit just right, even through the layers. Again...again, again, hah, agai-

"Ah!" He moaned out as you pressed especially hard. Your other hand was on his hip, and the bruising grip made him think you wanted this too more than anything else you've done so far. If he had to put it into words- you held him like you didn't think you'd ever get the chance.

"Fuck... tell me what I said, Barbatos."

It takes a few seconds, and when he finally finds his voice, his speech is interrupted by gasps of pleasure. "I.. hell, you- you told me how good I felt. That- fuck, Master- that you needed me. All the things you'd been waiting- hah, to do to me."

You kiss his neck, your voice low in his ear, but your words loud in his heart and mind. "You're perfect, Barbatos. Can you feel it? How hard you get me? Just looking at you- it drives me insane. Makes me wanna make you feel good."

The hand on his hip moves to undo his pants. He claws at your back as you speed up your strokes. "I'd go so deep, baby. Make you see stars. I wanna fuck you till you're sleep, till I'm the only thing you think of, till you call out of work."

You stop your administrations, and in the blink of an eye, Barbatos finds his panties are out where you can see them.

And yes- he is wearing the pretty pink ones.

"I'm gonna fuck you till you need me."

Like the asshole you are, you're much more gentle with your own clothes, getting them off just as fast yet leaving them mostly whole. Your dick twitches against the constraints of your briefs. It makes Barbatos salivate, the thought of having all of it on his tongue, down his throat, making him gag and cry. In his pussy, bruising his cervix and-

Why was he still imagining things, when the real thing was right in front of him?

Quick as ever you flip him on his stomach, smirking at how wet and sticky his panties have gotten. In this position, the fat lips pressed against the thin fabric in a way only describable as lewd. You drag a single finger down his slit, starting from his asshole and stopping at his clit. Watching him shiver as you dragged it back up, tremble as you go back down again. The shocked way he squeaks and grabs the table as you press on his clit.

You can't see his face when you put your own in it, licking him through the cloth, but you can definitely hear him. He's unabashedly loud, his hips acting on their own. Sloppy kisses make him squeal, and long strokes of your tongue make him moan. When you suck on his clit, he calls your name, a desperate cry that thanks you even as it begs for more.

"[Name], Cum- cumming. I'm-"

Your hand snakes down to grope at your dick as you eat him faster. You can taste him; his essence is all across your tongue and it's absolutely euphoric. He rocks a little harder every time you whisper how good he tastes into his clit, cries a little louder. You can hear how hoarse his voice is getting though. His screams are shadows of what they were, the scrape of his voice against his throat sending shocks through you. It all makes you suck him a lil harder.

And then he arches into your mouth, cumming on your tongue with a sultry moan from deep in his chest. Your eyes roll as liquid gold coats your tastebuds, the aftertaste like a mouthful of diamonds. Angelic whimpers meet your ears, and you can't help overstimulating him as you work to not waste a drop.

Barbatos swears that hours pass, but your clean up job only lasts a few more minutes. His head is heavy and light at the same time, not a thought to be found among the thick sex haze.

He feels like you shared your fire with him, the burning power shocking his nerves and waking his body up even as you suck him to sleep. Everything's so sensitive, too sensitive, yet you keep going...

Gods, please keep going....

Then you stop. He's left ass up and face down as you catch your breath. His own chest heaves, the tears that fell drying on his face or pooling between his cheek and the table. He should be worried about that, what a mess you'd made of him, of the room, of everything. But the only thing he could focus on was your breath, far too close to his sensitive, throbbing cunt.

Barbie's hips were bruised to the touch, yet he couldn't manage so much as a wince when you grabbed them again. You were much gentler this time, at least.

You pull him into your lap, a glimmer in your eye as his head lolls on your shoulder.

Slowly, tantalizingly so, you grind up into him. Weak he may be, he still tries to grip your wrists, settling for loosely wrapping his fingers around them. He feels your head come to a rest on his shoulder, and your hands move to interlock with his, dragging them with you as you wrapped both of your arms around his torso.

Borderline chaste kisses were peppered across his shoulders and neck as a pace was set. Barbatos didn't think he could take it- being humped like a whore, then grinded on mid-embrace like a lover dearly missed. The butterflies in his stomach stirred at the mix of emotions pumping through him, filling him with a ticklish, fluttery feeling that made giggles spill from his throat.

"...off."

He hums his confusion, and you try to be a little louder.

"Can I take these off?"

Your voice is a romantic whisper in his ear as you nod towards his panties, soaked through and leaving nearly nothing to the imagination by this point.

You asked so politely, and you made him feel so light, he couldn't find it in him to say no.

He blushes, and nods.

His panties are off in a snap! , pink pussy finally exposed. Now, his arousal soaked your briefs directly, and the twitch it gave at being so close to his warmth felt brand new.

The feel of the cold air against his hot cunt made him choke and sit up, breatheless gasps escaping in a flurry as you stroked the squishy lips, ghosting over his clit to circle his hole.

He watched your fingers drag arousal from his hole to where his bud ached, flicking it and making him cry. The tears streaked his skin as they fell fast down his cheeks. Watching you seemed to make it more intense, seeing exactly how your skilled fingers moved to bring him such electrifying pleasure.

Oh hells, you'd started moving again too. Your labored breathing was felt against his back as you grinded into him

t desperately. Your hips worked like you needed this, needed him, needed to cum against his cunt and take him over the edge with you.

Your fingers sped up as you strained to keep your pace steady, the jerk of your legs getting worse and worse as you got closer. Barbatos could feel how you twitched against the briefs, and even in his weakness, tried to meet your thrusts in the middle, rubbing his sensitivity pussy along your bulge and making himself sob at the intensity.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck-

Heavy breathes and heady gasps filled the room as your stomachs started to lock with lightning. Barbatos was seeing stars, felt like he was one. Exploding with pleasure, bright as the sun and just as blinding. There wasn't a thought in his head as your grunts and moans became more frequent, the open mouthed kisses you planted on his ear and neck making his eyes roll. Your free hand left his hip and made for his nipple, and with an aggressive twist, it was over.

The two of you exploded in sync like a supernova of catastrophic levels, the orgasm rawing both of your throats as each other's names rang in the air. The flames in your blood were slowly doused, leaving your skin as sticky as it was sweaty- and it was very much so both.

Neither of you can breathe, so you pant between sloppy kisses. Weak arms wrap around your neck as your hands tangle in sweat-soaked hair, drool escaping down the sides of your lips. He can taste himself on your tongue still, his essence making your spit stick to your lips a little more. The sight spurred him more, until exhaustion truly wracked you both, dropping your bodies to the table in a mere moment.

Barbatos couldn't find any talking words. He's not quite sure what he could say- "hey, that was pretty nice, albeit unexpected?"

"Yeah, hah, that's one way to put it."

He has got to get control of that.

Your eyes were already closed when he looked up at you, using all his strength to do so. You whispered, mumbled really, and he strained to listen through the haze still clouding his mind.

"....beautiful, Barbatos. Everything... you. We have to do this again.... day when you're actually free."

Remembering he was far overdue to return to his position should have sent him into shock, or perhaps cardiac arrest, but he found all he could do was sigh. The castle would be fine without him for a couple hours... and it's not like they had any guests today...

Barbatos yawned, his head getting heavier and heavier with the rhythmic movement of your chest. A quick glance showed you to already be asleep, your peaceful expression painting a smile across his face.

His last image before drifting off is of you, with a single line of drool slowly slipping out the corner of your mouth.

--------

A/N: IVE BEEN WRITING THIS FOR A WEEK. AHHHHHHHHHHH

[pentacentric]

I probably think way too much about how very little Sam knew about Mary. How John and Dean gave him almost nothing, to the point that she wasn't even really like a ghost shadowing his life, more like the story of one overheard in bits and pieces over the years. And yet, his whole life from when he can first remember—every bit of motivation or guilt, every point of pride or shame—is built around his mother, this person he isn't allowed to know.

I've written a lot of bits and pieces about it before, but never a standalone. This is actually an excerpt from a longer story, but I modified it some and I think it works on its own, hopefully (he knows about hunting already but that's really the only canon difference).

..........................

When Sam's in fourth grade, and has to write a page about his favorite memory, he asks for Dean's help. All he can seem to dredge up at the moment is just too weird or too farfetched. Things that say far too much about the way they live for a teacher to read.

So he asks Dean what he would write about.

After some teasing about his best memories being of all the times Sam's embarrassed himself (and a well-aimed pink rubber eraser hitting him between the eyes) Dean quiets down and turns thoughtful.

"Well, I dunno what my most favorite memory would be, really. I guess…" He bites his lip, chews on it for a second, gaze directed absently into the distance. "I think it would prob'ly be my first memories? It musta been, like, when I was three and four maybe. They're…of Mom."

"Oh." Sam's chest gets a little tight. He speaks quietly, cautiously. Dean—Dean and Dad both—they don't talk about her much. Sam's seen her picture, the one that Dad keeps in his journal, a few times, but he knows so little about her. Just that she was pretty (beautiful), with a smile that reminds of him of Dean's and wavy blonde hair. "What was she—what are they like?"

Dean smiles, maybe a little sad, but it's more than that. Warm, wistful; gaze still unfocused and distant. "Mostly…happy. Like…bright. She'd sing to me a lot, and, like, I didn't know the songs back then, but, when I hear 'em now, I can hear her voice singing them. Beatles, Beach Boys, Simon and Garfunkel, um…Peter, Paul, and Mary, maybe…" Dean chuffs out a laugh. "I remember Puff the Magic Dragon, at least…I think I even remember Dad teasin' her about how she better sing me some real music, too, not just sissy crap, but, I dunno, maybe I made that up."

Dean pauses, that bittersweet expression on his face, still, and Sam doesn't want him to get lost in it. He also doesn't want to miss this opportunity, if he can help it.

"I dunno. He'd say somethin' like that." Dean spares him half a smile, still somewhere else in his head. "What…what else do you remember? What'd you guys do together?"

"Well, not a whole lot. I guess mostly just the normal stuff you do with a little kid. Like legos, I remember we'd build castles an' fortresses and stuff. I wanted her to build me a car but we didn't have enough black bricks, so she made me a little boat instead. Dad said it looked like a bathtub." He smiles. "Um, she'd dance with me, sometimes. To the radio. Make lunch—I mostly remember sandwiches and Mac n' Cheese. I'd sit in that little seat in the cart when she went to the grocery store, and she'd ask me what was on the list and I'd pretend I could read it and make up dumb stuff."

The silence is longer this time. Sam breathes out, carefully. "What kinda stuff?"

"I dunno. Just silly things, like 'elephant steaks!' Or 'a unicorn!' Or 'poop n' rhubarb pie!'"

"Gross." Sam wrinkles his nose.

Dean grins at that. "I think you're, like, the only kid ever who never found poop and fart jokes funny."

"'Cause they're not."

When Dean laughs, muttering little weirdo, Sam looks around for something harmless to throw at him, pouts.

"Don't worry, Sammy, if anyone wonders why you're so weird I'll just tell them it's 'cause you still poop your pants, and you're kinda sensitive about it an' all."

"Dean."

Sam decides that his pencil is perfectly fine to throw after all and, as a concession, doesn't aim it at his head. Dean grins, not seeming too annoyed by the assault, so Sam decides to push his luck.

"Did Mom think it was funny? Your lists?"

Dean's melancholy little smile is back. "Yeah…yeah, I think she did. She'd always laugh, anyways. An' she had the best laugh. I'd make up stuff that just got more and more ridiculous just so I could keep watchin' her laugh." He sighs, shrugs. "Anyways, yeah…that's Mom. That's what I remember."

It gets quiet after that, and Sam can see Dean's face starting to shutter over as he withdraws. It's rare for Sam to get to see his brother so open and unguarded any more. Over the last few years, Dean's started to change; Sam can tell. Still fun, still charming, still affectionate, at least with Sam (mostly when there's no one else around to catch him being so uncool). But, even though they're not always alike—Dean doesn't usually brood, rarely explodes, and he never gets that kind of burning cold John does when he's focused on something—sometimes now he kinda reminds Sam of Dad. He's been more closed off, the way Dad can be, his deeper emotions pushed farther away, out of Sam's reach. Doesn't show when things get to him, like he used to.

It's actually kind of lonely, sometimes.

"So, what are you gonna write about, Sammy?"

When Sam shrugs, Dean suggests the time they ran out of gas on a back road in central Florida. They'd only walked two miles before an Oscar Myer Wienermobile came barreling down the road, seemingly out of nowhere, and gave them a lift to and from the closest gas station (still a good eight miles away). Sam counters with the night in Montana that Dad got so drunk he started fighting with the motel owner about yetis (Dad coming down hard on the side of 'hoax'). They ended up getting kicked out at two am after Dad had cut down the guy’s “Bigfoot Crossing” sign with an axe. They toss back and forth increasingly ridiculous ideas until they're both laughing so hard they're in literal tears. When John comes back, they can't even stop long enough to answer what's so funny. Dad just smiles, bemused and fond, and shakes his head before heading off to shower.

Sam thinks maybe he can add this afternoon to his Good Memories pile.

In the end, he waits until that evening, before bed, and easily fills up a page-and-a-half about the time, last summer, when Dad was on a hunt out west and he and Dean had spent all afternoon exploring tidal pools in Yaquina Head, Oregon, marveling at the tiny little aquatic worlds they found. He invents an older teenage cousin that tagged along so the teacher won't question why two young kids spent the day alone in a national park.

He gets an A.

From then on, Sam keeps his eyes out in thrift stores for cassettes from the bands Dean mentioned; pockets them when he can to listen to later on the beat-up Walkman knock-off Dean stole for him for his sixth birthday. He likes a lot of it, but he's careful about what he keeps; only his favorites. He stashes them in the bottom of his school bag, in the hollowed-out book that Bobby showed him how to make last year, on a rainy day when Sam got bored with watching old Westerns.

For some reason, he doesn't want Dean to know about them. Doesn't want him to feel like Sam's trying to take something away from him. So he slips them in when he's sitting in the back of the Impala alone, on long trips, and closes his eyes. Lets the albums pour into his ears over the headphones; shuts the rest of the world out. Sgt Pepper's. Pet Sounds. Bookends. He tries to imagine his mom, Mary, singing the songs to him, in a sunny kitchen.

But he can never really pull together a complete image of her; just bits and pieces, blurred-together impressions: yellow hair, the smiling face from the picture (looking kind of flat, like a mask), a flowered dress he'd seen in a shop window. And he doesn't know what her voice sounded like, so it kind of just ends up being a composite of the voices of some of his favorite teachers (along with the mother of a classmate back in Indiana who drove him home once when she spotted him waiting for the rain to stop under the playground slide).

So he gives up on trying to picture her, and, instead, just tries to sink into the music, sees if he can feel what she was feeling when she listened to it. Imagines the conversations they might have: which songs would be her favorites, why she would have liked them, where she was the first time she heard them playing.

When he hears those songs on the radio now, or over the speakers in a restaurant, it makes him feel kind of happy and sad at the same time.

They remind him of her.

(Except for America—for some reason, that one makes him think of Dean.)

[seventh-district]

This Evening I Will Not Forget

“I jumped into the fray with the intention of helping you and next thing I know I’m standing there uselessly watching the first person I’ve dared to love in two fucking centuries take a warhammer to the stomach!”

He turned to face you as he emphasized his last few words, now standing all but frozen in the middle of the tent with his hands held out, gesturing toward your injury. You’re about to pipe up and insist that it wasn’t his fault, but the words dissipate before you can speak them as another part of his sentence echoes in your mind. You repeat them back to him in a disbelieving whisper.

“The first person you’ve dared to love?”

His tense, frustrated expression instantly falls flat.

“I didn’t say that.”

An injury and an argument lead to you revealing far more of yourself and your unspoken past to Astarion than you planned to.

Pairing: Astarion x Reader

Word Count: 3,292

Content Warnings: [injured Reader] (not graphically described, just mentions of bruising and pain) [mean/avoidant Astarion] [argument] [mentions of Reader's scars & non-specific allusion to their Tragic Backstory™] [vulnerability] [possibly (probably) OOC Astarion]

Author's Note: This is an excerpt from my fic An Evening I Will Not Forget, but can be read as a standalone one-shot. The only context I think you'll need is that this fic is written in the style of reliving memories, hence certain lines will mention Reader "looking back" on them.

“What's important is this evenin' I will not forget

Purple, blue, orange, red

These colors of feelin'

Give me love, I'll put my heart in it”

You’re lying on your back as cold, pale fingers press against your sensitive skin, pulling a small pained sound of protest from you.

“Sorry, sorry…”

Astarion retracts his hand, fingers curling into his palm. You reach out to catch hold of him before he can completely pull away, your voice tense with pain as you reassure him.

“No- no... don’t be. I know you’re just trying to help.”

You bring his hand back toward your exposed stomach, his fingers still coated in the healing salve he was attempting to apply. His hand hovers hesitantly over your bruised and broken skin.

“Yes, but- I’m not very good at it.”

Your thumb brushes across his wrist as you hold onto him, suspecting that if you let go he’d just retract his hand again.

“What do you mean? Of course you are.”

He shakes his head insistently.

“No. It seems like every time I try to help you, I just end up hurting you even more…”

Confusion is clear both in your voice and on your features.

“That’s not… that’s not true, Star.”

You tug lightly on his wrist to get his attention, your voice soft as you ask him a question.

“Is this about what happened today?”

He pulls his hand out of your loose hold and you let him, watching as he stands and begins pacing circles inside the tent.

“No, I’m in a bad mood because the weather isn’t quite to my liking- of course it’s about what happened today!”

The initial sarcasm in his voice gave way to frustration near the end. Not with you, but with himself.

Now that you’re observing this memory from his perspective as well, you can see the moment you sustained the injury playing over and over again in his mind, working him up further and further.

“I jumped into the fray with the intention of helping you and next thing I know I’m standing there uselessly watching the first person I’ve dared to love in two fucking centuries take a warhammer to the stomach!”

He turned to face you as he emphasized his last few words, now standing all but frozen in the middle of the tent with his hands held out, gesturing toward your injury. You’re about to pipe up and insist that it wasn’t his fault, but the words dissipate before you can speak them as another part of his sentence echoes in your mind. You repeat them back to him in a disbelieving whisper.

“The first person you’ve dared to love?”

His tense, frustrated expression instantly falls flat.

“I didn’t say that.”

Your eyes widen, nodding slowly.

“Yes you did.”

Nervous laughter escapes him as he takes a step back, distancing himself from you.

“No, no, you… you must have heard me wrong. I didn’t- I was talking about helping you, I didn’t say anything about love, what’s love got to do with this?”

You hate to push him, fearing he may bolt like a frightened deer if you double down, but you know what you heard. It wasn’t like the first time you heard him say it, slapping it on the end of a string of pick-up lines, the word obviously carrying no weight, no truth. No, this second time was different.

“I think it has more to do with it than you’re willing to admit, Astarion.”

He falters, one of very few times you’ve seen him truly caught off guard, truly speechless.

“Those are…” He searches for something to say that’ll cover up the truth that’d just spilled out of him. “...bold words for someone currently bedridden.”

You bark a laugh and it turns into a low groan at the pain it causes to flare in your lower ribs.

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”

If he’s being honest, even he’s hardly sure what he meant. He’s truly floundering here, for the first time in… forever.

“It means… it means that I can walk away from this conversation right now and there isn’t anything you can do about it.”

Stooping so low as to resort to childish threats, you can feel the embarrassment radiating off of him.

“Would you truly be so cruel as to do that to me right now? Walking away, leaving me vulnerable and confused just because you can’t handle the truth?”

You’re pushing your luck too far and you know it. Surprisingly, though, he takes one step toward you, moving away from the exit.

“Cruel?! If you think that me simply walking away from you counts as cruelty then you truly haven’t suffered enough.”

His words are suddenly laced with venom and they hit you harder than the barbarian’s warhammer did today, leaving a chill colder than ice in their wake.

He seems to actually hear what he said a moment later, the careless words ricocheting off of you and coming back to slam into his chest, nearly knocking him over and crushing him beneath the weight of his sudden regret.

A furious wave of heat and adrenaline courses through you as you bolt upright in the makeshift bed, ignoring the sharp pain that flares inside you in response to the sudden movement. Reaching down and grabbing at the tail of your shirt where it’s bunched up around your ribs, you hastily yank it up over your shoulders and head, tugging your arms out of the long sleeves and furiously tossing the garment directly at him.

“Suffered enough? You think I haven’t fucking suffered enough, Astarion? You don’t know the goddamned HALF of it! You’re not the only one in this tent that’s been abused, you know?! Oh wait- that’s right- you DON’T!”

Your voice cracks under the pressure of volume and emotion as fat, hot, angry tears roll down your cheeks against your will. Astarion stands there like a deer in the headlamps, your balled-up shirt having hit him softly in the chest and fallen anticlimactically to the ground. As his eyes rake over your heavily scarred arms, the angry purple markings showing no signs of lessening as they curl over your shoulders and disappear behind your back, it suddenly starts to make a lot more sense why you were so damned insistent that no one remove your clothes while treating your wounds earlier.

Shadowheart rips open the flap covering the tent’s exit, a very concerned looking Halsin ducking down behind her. Part of you is grateful that at least not everyone was currently at camp to witness your sudden breakdown, but even the sight of the two of them is enough to have you panicking. Pulling at the blanket gathered around your waist and shouting in an admittedly very childish, vulnerable voice, you demand they leave as you choke on your tears, hastily covering yourself up.

“GET OUT!”

Unsure of what to do, Shadowheart surveys the scene before her with a critical eye before sighing, seeming to understand that the best thing they can do right now is give you back your privacy. She knows that if you needed her, you would call. Turning to shoo away the concerned man behind her, she lowers the flap back down with a quiet murmur of “They’re… fine. Let’s give them some space.”

Astarion finally breaks free from where he’s been stood like a statue, slowly moving toward the exit as well with an unsure glance in your direction.

You bury your face into the fabric clutched in your hands, shouting into it in exasperation.

“NOT YOU!”

He freezes, no longer knowing what to do but wishing that the ground would simply open up and swallow him whole. Back under six feet of soil feels like where he deserves to be after what he just said to you.

He racks his brain for the right thing to say, coming up empty handed and eventually deciding that honesty might just be the best policy in this situation.

“I… I’m going to level with you. I have no idea what to do right now.”

In spite of it all, you laugh, a broken sound that cuts through your tears, causing you to cough, then the strain from coughing causes more tears to fall. Though he can’t admit it, Astarion knows right then and there that he never wants to hear or see you in such pain ever again.

“I… I’ll level with you, too.”

You pull the blanket away from your face, looking at him with watery, bloodshot eyes.

“...Neither do I.”

You glance down at the floor, attempting a deep breath and failing spectacularly as another broken sob escapes you. Dropping the fabric still held up against your chest, you press your hands down into the bedroll beneath you in an attempt to support your upper body and ease the pain radiating through your core.

Astarion takes one cautious step toward you, his unsteady voice the only thing filling the silence aside from your soft crying.

“I need… to apologize. For everything.”

You shake your head in disagreement and clear your throat.

“No, you don’t. You’ve been through a worse hell than I could ever even imagine. It’s… stupid of me to try and compete with you in that regard.”

He takes another step forward, insistent.

“That isn’t true. You have… clearly been through your own hell, and it was… stupid of me to assume you hadn’t. Even worse of me to try and downplay my avoidance by… holding my past over you like some sort of… like some sort of excuse.”

You shift your weight to the side in order to lift one hand, reaching out to grab at one of the small cloths stacked beside your bed. Astarion sees you struggling to reach them and rushes forward, closing what remained of the space he’d put between you as he lifted a cloth and handed it to you without a word.

You bring it to your face, pressing it to your eyes in a useless attempt to dry the tears that were still falling. Then, moving it down to blow your running nose into the cloth before you could make an even bigger mess of yourself than you already were. Finally able to breathe a bit better, you counter his point.

“Yeah, but- the thing is, I feel like you kinda have the right to do that, given all that you’ve survived. Of course you’d see the pain of walking away from a conversation as trivial when you compare it to… literally anything you’ve experienced.”

Now that he’s returned to your side, Astarion’s head angles to drag his gaze across your exposed back, finally seeing the full extent of your scarring as you lean forward a bit to toss the dirty cloth to the floor of the tent next to your shirt. Nausea swirls deep in the pit of his stomach as the upsetting sight of your marred skin burns itself into his memory.

“I believe… that’s called a double standard.”

You throw him a sad, confused look, and he explains.

“You’re trying to give me some sort of… free pass based on what I’ve been through, but I’ve never once seen you give yourself that same sort of leniency.”

“That’s… not the same thing.”

“I’m not saying we’ve been through the exact same thing, but…” He gestures vaguely to the entirety of you. “...clearly you’ve gone through something. If I get to lord my baggage over you then surely you’re permitted to do the same.”

Your tears begin to slow as you consider his words.

“I don’t… want to do that, though. Obviously. That’s why I haven’t told you. I don’t want you giving me special treatment because ‘poor pitiful me’ has gone through some shit. I don’t think that excuses any of my current behavior.”

The silence hangs in the air for a moment before he gently drives his point home.

“Yet you think it excuses mine?”

Hm.

“...okay. I guess you’ve got me there.”

You sigh, body beginning to feel heavier than lead as the sudden rush of emotion and adrenaline fades from you. You ease yourself back down, hissing at the pain as your bruised ribs and torn muscles protest the stretch and movement. Astarion wants to assist but truth be told he’s afraid to touch you. So, he watches on helplessly, still berating himself in the back of his mind for the role he feels he played in you sustaining today’s injuries to begin with.

Once you’re laid down and relaxing into the bedroll as much as you can, you make no effort to cover yourself up, not caring how long his eyes wander across your exposed skin. Silently, he tries to read the countless jagged lines and dots carved into you like they may eventually come together to paint him a picture of all that’s happened to you.

No picture anyone could paint would ever do the pain justice.

He settles himself down next to you as your tired eyes stare a hole in the ceiling of the tent.

“You do not have to accept my apology, but I will not rescind it. I do have the wherewithal to know that what I said was wrong. It was cruel. I…”

He exhales, the heavy sound full of the weight carried by a man that hasn’t been this honest with anyone in centuries.

“I…  tossed aside any consideration for how you may have felt, letting myself get lost in my own… stupid fears. It wasn’t right. It certainly wasn’t fair to you.”

Your head lolls to the side, appraising him with lidded eyes.

“You know… you’re surprisingly self-aware when you aren’t being a pompous ass.”

Your words draw a surprised laugh out of him and after a moment of consideration, he nods slowly in reluctant agreement.

“I’ve… had a lot of time to sit with myself and think. Eventually you get to know yourself pretty well.”

He looks down, idly picking at the loose threads on the edge of your well-worn bedroll.

“All of that self-awareness apparently doesn’t make me any kinder though, does it?”

It’s a rhetorical question but you answer it all the same.

“I still stand by my statement that you have good reason to be so… abrasive. Just being aware of those reasons doesn’t mean that they suddenly don’t affect you any more.”

Your hand raises from where it laid lifelessly beside you, reaching over for Astarion’s and pulling his anxious fingers away from attacking the weak points of your bedroll. You don’t release his hand once you direct him away from the loose threads, holding onto him as you continue to muse aloud.

“I think that a lot of us are just doing our best to not allow our past to affect our present, to varying degrees of success. Sometimes we fail. But- I believe all that truly matters at the end of the day is that we’re trying, though. … And, Astarion?”

“...yes?”

“I can tell that you’re trying.” You squeeze his hand. “And I accept your apology.”

You take a slow, deep breath, and listen as his voice comes out softer than you’ve ever heard it.

“Thank you.”

You nod your head in a silent “of course,” laying in thoughtful silence for a few moments before speaking.

“I… feel like I should apologize as well.”

Now it’s Astarion’s turn to be confused.

“What ever for?”

You weakly raise your other hand to gesture all around the room.

“Just… this. The scene I just made. Heaping all of this emotion onto you when you were obviously already struggling with how you felt about me in the first place.”

He doesn’t take long to respond.

“No, I don’t think you need to apologize for that. This… seems like it really needed to come out. I could never be upset with you for sharing it with me, regardless of the… unideal circumstances.”

He then seems to realize something.

“I hope you don’t regret it, though. Sharing this with me.”

You shake your head decisively and the motion causes your impending headache to flare.

“No. I don’t. I- uh- you were going to find out eventually with how… close we’ve been getting. I just couldn’t find the right time to tell you- or- well, show you, I guess.”

Your hand releases its hold on his, reaching up to carefully brush your fingertips across the mottled skin of your stomach. You raise your head up, angling it down to look down at the injury with a thoughtful gaze. Glancing over toward Astarion, you ask him another question.

“Can you hand me that salve from earlier? It never really… got fully applied.”

He immediately reaches behind him for the container, but holds it in his grasp as he stumbles over his words.

“I- I, uhm… wouldn’t mind trying again, if you want me to. If you don’t I’ll understand, though. Just… want you to know that the offer is still there.”

Your eyebrows raise in surprise, but you’re completely willing to let him do it.

“Oh… sure? You’re welcome to, I just… assumed you wouldn’t want to.”

He holds his other hand up and only then do you realize he never wiped the salve from his skin.

“These fingers are numb already anyways, might as well spare yours the same fate.”

You vaguely remember Shadowheart’s words as she passed Astarion the container earlier, cautioning him to not leave it for long on any skin he didn’t want to temporarily lose feeling in.

“But hey, at least we know that it works now, right?”

You give him a tired smile, appreciative of his efforts to lighten the mood.

“Mmm, I suppose so.”

You pull your hand away, exposing your injury to him once again.

“Have at me, then.”

With your permission, he sweeps a scoop of the healing and numbing mixture across your sensitive skin and you notice how feather-light he keeps his touch this time. Looking down to observe his work, you note how the messy mixture of the massive bruise’s dark colors stand in stark contrast to his pale white fingers that brush across it.

A thought slips out of your exhausted mind.

“Pretty…”

His eyes flick up to meet yours, unsure if he heard you correctly.

“Hmm?”

“The colors. They’re pretty. Purple, blue, even kinda orange…”

You look away from the bruise and up into his ruby eyes.

“...red.”

He’s silent for a moment, his hand pausing its gentle motion. Then he scoffs, looking away and internally dismissing your words as the ramblings of a tired mind.

“You’re talking nonsense, dear.”

Your filter has all but completely vanished, feeling almost drunk on your current mixture of exhaustion and relief after such a hell of a day. Sleep beckons you and your eyes fall closed as the pain in your ribs fades, on its way to being numbed out by the potent salve. A hazy thought surfaces, reminding you to give your thanks to Shadowheart when you next awake. For now though, you relax, no thought given to the words that slip from your lips.

“But you love my nonsense, don’t you…”

His heart feels like it jumps in his chest as he hears you so casually speak the word that he’s still reluctant to even think to himself, let alone say aloud. As he finishes massaging the salve into your skin and pulls his hand back, his eyes pass over the expansive unspoken history of pain evidently etched into your skin, up across your chest, over your shoulders and down your arms. He figures the least he can do is answer you honestly before sleep pulls you under.

“I… suppose I do.”

End Notes: If you'd like to read my commentary on this scene, you can find that in the end notes of Ch. 5 on AO3 - right here!

Header Image Source: x

[moonbiscuitsims]

Cyberpunk 2077 Gangs (The Sims 4): Maelstrom inspired MORE SIMS 4 CYBERPUNK STUFF

REFERENCE IMAGES

Inspired by Maelstrom but obviously I was limited. I didn't copy any particular character or NPC just the overall "creepy-cyborg-terminator-madmax" vibe. I used less baldness, less Hitler hair-dos, etc made them a bit more simple and stylised to my liking. I think they look a bit more anime lol. I tried to compensate with more piercings, spikes, scars, supernatural veiny skins and stuff for my lack of intense cyborg cyberware they have. I know the spider lady is a bit weird but I liked the spider legs in their graffiti logo and tried to include it imagining it's some sort of cyberware body mod. I found this cool Sims 3 CC but no ts4 conversion unfortunately. So just did my best, the light emitting contacts really helped. Overall I like how they turned out. Might make them creepy vampires haha or maybe make more "scary" looking ones later ╰(*°▽°*)╯This Totentanz build by Hamsterbellbelle is where I'm making them live (I'll probably build something in the basement) along with Littlemssam's live in business mod (so that it functions as a club even though it's residential)

Some useful CAS CC for these looks: Cyborg Head ☢ Vallhallen Helmet conversion ☢ Vallhallen oculus third eye ☢ More eyes by Zaneida ☢ Spider mouth by natalia auditore ☢ Anakin arm by natalia ☢ cyberware by natalia auditore ☢ more cybeware by NA ☢ even more cyberware by NA ☢ Cyber decal eyeshadow ☢ Tecno glasses ☢ SSTS gauntlets ☢ Arachnophobia face eyes by Pyxis ☢ Ashwwa steampunk top ☢ Ashwwa scifi earrings ☢ Ashwwa safety pin earring ☢ Cyborg facepaint ☢ Pralinesims Spikey mask ☢ Steampunk Goggles ☢ Robo legs and Robo arms tattoos ☢ Standalone robotic arm accessory ☢ Body veins skin details ☢ Contacts with light ☢ Gas mask ☢ Dark side mask ☢ Mantis Blades ☢ Cyber blackout tattoos

If there's something you like that wasn't listed here let me know and I'll try to find it. The list of CC is very long so i included the most prominent and useful things that caught my attention; I also use plenty of MagicBot CC (piercings, skins, etc) and lots of clothes by Belloallure, Darte77 and @the-crypt-o-club and probably tons of other cc creators I can't recall now

[six-eyed-samurai]

LETTERS TO SANEMI

This can be read as a standalone, but if you'd like you can read my previous thoughts on Genya's literacy.

dear aNiki,

kocho gave me a Notebook today aNd told me to write down any after efects or experiNces after eating a demoN iN here but said I should also keep a jourNal to show you oNe day. she gave one to tokito to for his memory loss I thiNk.

she started teachng me how to write receNtly. she said if I caN’t become a hashira or talk to you by the time i've fiNished learNiNg, i can come up with a good apologi letter for you.

himejima-saN is very proud that I'm learNiNg how to write. he was sad he couldn't teach me Himself but Now I can help Him deliver messages he caN't write or Read.

i caN't do aNy breathiNg techNiques, but himjima-saN’s traiNing is iNteNse eNough that i can slay demons eveN without eating them sometimes. maybe i will be able to become the first hashira without a techNique.

Im Not sure yet Of what to write iN here, so thats all for Now. I hope you like the ohagi I seNt you. kocho said she'd pass it for Me.

***

Dear Aniki,

I'm very embarrassed to say this, but when I showed Kocho my writing it turned out I got a lot of things wrong. She was very nice about it when she saw how red I was but couldn't teach me today so the Butterfly Girls had to do it. I think they were too scared to laugh but it's embarrassing anyway to have them know more about writing than I do.

For one apparently I got all my captal (is that how you spell it?) letters wrong. Small letter n and captal letter N are also very different and it's confusing. And I'm glad Himejima-san won't find out I didn't write his name correctly.

The demon I ate the other day left me with a very weirdly shaped hand that hasn't gone away yet, so I'll stop writing for now since it's tiring to hold a pencil with talons. Kocho offered to cut my nails for me but I said no because she was going to use her katana.

***

Dear Aniki,

It really hurt me to find out you threw away my apology letter. I really want to apologize for that night but you keep pushing me away. Are you disappointed in me for joining the Corps or because I can't use breathing techniques? I promise I'll do better.

At least you didn't reject my ohagi. I found out because Tokito was eating it when I met him today. The Mist Pillar is really weird. I didn't know his amnesia was so bad to this state he wandered into the room I was staying in at the Butterfly Mansion thinking it was his. I found him standing by the window holding my gun without moving for about ten minutes. I thought he was a girl for a second so it kind of stunned me into silence. He didn't even notice I was there until I yelled at him to put it down.

It was really awkward at first because I had to explain to him it wasn't his room and he had to explain to me he wasn't a girl, then there was an awkward pause where we just stared at each other. He called me a rooster too…which is still confusing.

I find it really hard to believe he's fourteen and already a Pillar. Jealous, really, because he gets to see you and I don't. Although he called you a wolf and I'm not sure what that means when I asked him where he got the ohagi from and he said the “old white wolf looking Hashira…I forgot. I think I bought it…wait, but I didn't bring any money.”

Somehow I ended up agreeing to his demand of training with him first thing tomorrow to show him how to use a gun. Thankfully the side effects of the demon I ate is gone now.

Kocho told me he'll probably forget about it though.

***

Dear Aniki,

Today's my birthday. Do you miss me as much I do for you? I wish I can still celebrate it with our siblings and mom, or at least with you.

Kinzaki and the Butterfly Girls made me a cake. Kocho gave me a new yukata after I ripped my old one from my last fight. Her tsugoku gave me a coin for whatever reason. But I got really shy and didn't say much.

Muichiro forgot it was my birthday and thought it was Kocho’s, so he gave me her present. He thought it was funny to pin the butterfly to my hair. The girls started giggling at me so I chased him around the Butterfly Mansion.

Himejima-san gave me a cat. She's very cute. I named her Shizu, after mom. She followed me everywhere and even peed on Muichiro’s foot. He said she was stupid but later on I found him carrying her around.

Her white fur made me think of you. If you ever forgive me one day I'm sure you'll love her too. She likes the smell of ohagi too apparently.

***

Dear Aniki,

Rengoku-san the Flame Pillar and Kanroji the Love Pillar came to visit Himejima-san today. Rengoku-san gave me ohagi, so I thanked him but he said it wasn't from him. I'm praying this means you don't completely hate me.

Muichiro came over to Himejima-san’s estate today too by mistake, but he decided to stay and train with me anyway. He asked to see Shizu and that's when I realized she was missing.

How hard could it be to find a snowy white cat? That's what we thought until we (me mostly, Muichiro kept forgetting where he had looked) hunted everywhere for her. Then Rengoku-san said he saw her run pass him and when we looked she jumped off a tree and took off.

I still can't stop turning red whenever I think about how I slammed into Kanroji chasing Shizu, so I immediately ran off with Muichiro. I hope if I meet her again she'll have forgotten about it.

Dumb cat.

***

Dear Aniki,

Today that Kamado kid - the one who broke my arm back at Final Selection after I grabbed the Ubuyashiki girl; hope she doesn't hold it against me - picked up the stack of letters I accidentally dropped. You know it's the anniversary of everyone's death today, so I was planning on taking the letters I've been writing to them to burn. Usually I would just leave flowers and prayers at the shrine Himejima-san helped me make because we never got to bury them, but since Kocho taught me to write I decided to make a new tradition.

Anyway I knew he didn't mean to read them but I got mad anyway until he told me his family died the same way and he was happy that I was still honoring their memory of whatever. I wish me and you were like him and his sister. I wonder what would've happened if we had stayed together? I never meant to hurt you like that.

I don't remember writing any of this. Did I change my handwriting or something? Who's Aniki?

I've just chased away Muichiro. I can't believe he got our notebooks mixed up and started reading mine. I hope he didn't read anything…too personal. Foggy brained idiot just stared at me and left.

He came back later. He didn't apologize but handed me a watermelon. He's forgiven…I guess? I don't even want to know he got it from, especially when I can hear Kinzaki and that pig head boy shouting.

***

Dear Aniki,

Today's the day before the final battle and I don't have much time to write as much as I want to, so I'll make this entry quick.

Muichiro has become a much nicer person, and I've had a lot of fun with him over time. I'm gonna miss training with him and talking and cloud gazing together afterwards. I hope we both don't die. He called me his best friend the other day and although I got really flustered I don't want it to be the last time.

Kocho and the Butterfly Girls celebrated my “graduation” of learning how to write the other day. Maybe one day you'll be able to come and celebrate some other occasion with us.

I will never be able to repay everything Himejima-san has done for me. I owe him for the slayer I am today. I hope the wooden bracelet I carved will be able to convey it. I can write now but I'm no good with words.

I'm really grateful to Kamado and his sister for reminding me during the battle at the Swordsmith Village why I joined the Corps. I'm going to prove myself to you and apologize for once and for all. I don't know what I'm going to do if you keep pushing me away even after all this. I miss you a lot.

I swear we'll be brothers again after this battle.

[iraprince]

TIME FOR A PROCESS POST let's talk abt getting from this (client sketch - which, btw, i know other artists have talked about this plenty, but i LOOOOOOVE a client sketch as early direction on a commission. LOVE it)

to this!

at first we didn't know if the title was going to go across the desk, or over the central figure (emara's) head against the back wall. so there was a 1st version where we were favoring a higher title, then we started favoring the desk so we scrapped the clutter + centered it more

i used clip studio's 3D models (particularly for the chair, guard, + weapon crates) and perspective rulers to help with laying everything out at this stage, tho i abandoned the 3D pretty early on bc it's a bit too clunky for me. maybe i'll find it quicker to use w more practice!

(the rest under the cut!)

once the basic layout was approved, i threw together a value study to explain how in the final image all the clutter of the bg detail would be unified and pushed back. lately i find myself thinking abt value earlier + earlier in the process; planning ahead saves me a lot of time!

i fiddled with starting to refine things digitally, but then i got A BRAND NEW LIGHTBOX delivered in the mail with perfect timing (lmao) so i just ended up printing off the digital sketch, finalizing in pencil, + scanning back in

then comes five billion different steps of locking in values, again. i did everything greyscale first, but i didn't worry abt getting things super polished at this stage bc i knew color would factor in a lot to later decisions

this is the point at which presenting these wips "step by step" is kind of misleading; i didn't do these stages one at a time, but rather had a BUNCH of different lighting/shading layers that i kept toggling on and off as i worked to make sure everything was coming along well.

(to get some of these caps i actually went into the main file again and turned a bunch of stuff on/off just for the sake of getting specific examples, because actually when i was actively working on it there was rarely a point where i was actually working on something with "all lighting turned off and just the shading on," or anything like that; but i AM interested in showing what effects different lighting/shading changes had on the base colors, even if i wasn't really making these changes in a rigid order.)

i.e., just for the sake of interest, here's how the flat colors look without those adjustments!! but i honestly never looked at it like this on its own for long...i had all the shading/lighting turned off so i could see what i was doing while flatting, but i was constantly checking back and forth.

then tones added on top (which were actually just two copies of the tone folders in the above posts, set to linear burn and overlay) -

which makes it get HORRIFYINGLY dark, but that's when we go in and add a bunch of lighting adjustments.

the most obvious lighting change above is the big burst of hot pink light from the corner, but there was also some masked overlay + burn layers to pop out the guard + emara and make sure they were pulled out from the bg. if this were a standalone illustration, i maybe would have let the bg (and all that painstakingly drawn detail..........) stand out a little more, but a cover functions differently, and i wanted to make sure the eye goes to the title first. that means sacrificing bg detail even if it looks sick lol

then final touches! a lot of my very last touches are things that are close to invisible; gradient maps on very low opacity, noise, a little bit of scribbling on upper layers. the typesetting was all by the client, except for the lettering for "emara king's," which i did myself!

finally, here's a comparison of ⬅where i left off one night close to the deadline thinking "it's probably done, but i'll sleep on it just in case," then all the adjustments i made the next day with fresh eyes.➡ and that's it!!! phew!!! that's how i make a cover!

[lady-pug]

The Bet

Summary: Dustin cannot believe Eddie “The Freak” Munson has a girlfriend (as pretty as Galadriel, no less), and the boys seem to think the same. Max and Robin disagree, arguing that Eddie is, in fact, a catch. They decide to settle things once and for all through a bet.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Word count: 4,9k

Warnings: cursing

Notes: I'm absolutely in love with this one, it's honestly my pride and joy (at least so far). The idea for this one came to me during an Invertebrates class (should I have be paying more attention to the class? probably, but I did end up doing well overall in that subject, so). If you spot any mistakes, please feel free to warn me and I'll correct it right away, and feedback is always welcome and appreciated. I hope you truly enjoy this story.

This is part of a series, but most parts can be read as standalones (so far they are published in cronological order, but this will change).

Reader is female, but no physical descriptions provided (other than being gorgeous, that is!)

Next part | Masterlist | Read on AO3

“I call bullshit.”

“Dustin!” El exclaimed.

“There’s no fucking way you have a girlfriend!”

“Dustin.” El gritted her teeth “Don’t be mean.”

“What? I’m just saying” Dustin explained, completely unphased “that out of all the people sitting on this table, he is the least likely to have a girlfriend.”

“The same has been said about you and yet…” Max smirked in that sardonic way of hers, making the others laugh.

“Do not bring Suzie-poo into this!” the boy rolled his eyes, but his shoulders tensed in embarrassment.

Lunch time at Hawkins High was never a quiet affair. More often than not someone, most likely someone from their usual table (even more often than not that someone was Eddie), would be doing something rambunctious that would attract the attention of every other student in the cafeteria. They had all learned to ignore it and fully embraced their nerd/outcast situation, almost always wearing their Hellfire Club t-shirts. Today, Dustin was the one drawing attention to them, fervorously denying what he had just been told.

“Come on, people.” he opened his arms, gesturing around the table “Let’s face it. Other than Mike, Lucas and I, who already have girlfriends, the most probable person here to get a girl would definitely be Robin.”

“Ouch, Henderson,” Steve punched the boy next to him on the shoulder, with a little more force than necessary “uncalled for. And besides, all she does all day is mope about Vickie, without ever making a move.”

“Uh, actually” Robin piped up “I just asked Vickie out, we’re gonna watch Letter to Brezhnev this weekend.”

Steve groaned, while Dustin’s face conveyed something akin to ‘I told ya’.

“Actually, Eddie, I’ve been meaning to ask, if this whole thing between me and Vickie does work out, can I bring her to one of our sessions?”

“Be my guest.” the man, who was currently being talked about as if he wasn’t even there, answered, his smile never weavering.

“Guys, we’re losing focus here.” Dustin clapped his hands “Let’s get back to the matter at hand: Eddie, your so called girlfriend.”

“What about her?”

“Tell us more about her.”

Eddie’s smile grew impossibly bigger.

“She’s everything my humble heart could ever ask for.”

“Humble, yeah, right.” Steve scoffed, earning him a slap on the back of the head from Robin.

“She is immeasurably intelligent, infinitely kind and would never hesitate to help those in need. Not to mention, she is the most beautiful creature to have ever walked this Earth.”

“How beautiful are we talking?” Lucas asked.

“Galadriel level of beauty.”

A bunch of ‘wow’s and even an impressed whistle, courtesy of Robin herself, sounded from the group.

“What does that even mean?” asked Steve. Dustin narrowed his eyes at the older boy and didn’t even bother with an answer, before addressing his DM again.

"Bullshit! What’s her name?”

Eddie’s once dreamy smile turned mischievous.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

Dustin scoffed.

“There is our answer. You are making her up.”

“No, I’m not.” Eddie said, a strange calmness in his voice.

“Yes, you are.”

“Why would I make her up?”

“I dunno, you are our DM, you literally come up with the most creative stories as a hobby, which, might I add, might as well be your side job at this point!”

“Why have you never introduced her to us?” Eleven asked, only slightly offended that her new friend hadn’t deemed them worthy of knowing the inner mechanisms of his private life.

Some people shook their heads in agreement.

“She works at the time of our campaigns.”

“How convenient.” Lucas exclaimed.

“If you really want to meet her so badly I’ll bring her around some day.” Eddie shrugged.

"How about this?” Dustin lowered his voice conspiratorially “10 bucks she’s made up and you’re bullshitting all of us.”

“Dustin!” Max hissed.

“I’m in.” Lucas said.

“Lucas!”

“Guys, don’t you think this is a little… cruel? Making a bet at someone’s expense?” El hesitantly pointed out.

Everyone looked in Eddie’s direction at the head of the table, whose face didn’t give anything away.

“Nah.” all the boys, excluding Will and surprisingly including Eddie, said.

“I’m with Dustin.” Mike said, to which El glared at him “What? Easiest money I’ll ever make in my life.”

“Make it 20 that not only she’s real, but she’s also gorgeous.” Robin chimed in. 

“Thank you Buckley.” Eddie bowed his head at her.

“Seriously?” Steve almost shouted.

“What, Eddie is a pretty nice guy. If I wasn’t into…” she trailed off, glaring at Steve next to her as he mouthed the word ‘boobies’ “other things,” she emphasized “I’d definitely date him.”

“You are so on, Rob.” Steve indeed shouted this time “You’re going down.” 

“El?” Mike asked his girlfriend.

“I don’t know. I’m not really comfortable doing this.”

“Me neither.” Will agreed.

“I’m with Robin on this one.” it was Max's turn to say.

“Alright!” Eddie grabbed a pencil and a rumpled sheet of paper (math’s homework, they noted) “It’s two against four: Buckley and Mayfield vs Harrington, Henderson, Sinclair and Wheeler. Should I mark 20 bucks for everyone?”

The boys, who originally opened the bet at $10 each, all agreed.

“So that makes the final prize a total of… $120.” he eyed all the people on the table with a mysterious grin, his voice morphing into the one he used while performing as Dungeon Master during their campaigns “Do you, my mighty Fellowship, accept this challenge?”

Everyone looked at Dustin, the one who had come up with all that mess, to seal their next step. He stood up and extended his hand for Eddie to shake.

“Hell yeah.”

“I’m telling you, there is absolutely no way in this world, and in the Upside Down, that Eddie is telling the truth.”

Dustin was leading the group around downtown Hawkins on their way to the movie theater for a showing of Top Gun. 

“Dustin, man, don’t you think this is going a little too far?” Will asked, a worried look crossing his features.

“I mean, why does he feel the need to lie to us like that?” Lucas interrupted “Not having a girlfriend is not something to be ashamed of.”

“Tell that to Steve.” Dustin smirked, high fiving his buddies, to which El, Will and Max rolled their eyes.

“Maybe because he isn’t lying?” Max said, crossing her arms, annoyed “Has that ever crossed your minds? And that maybe he hasn’t introduced her because you are simply too immature to handle it?”

Mike, Lucas and especially Dustin had the decency to look sheepish for a fraction of a second before diving right back on their shenanigans.

“I mean who in their right minds would date Eddie of all people?” Dustin changed the subject, making Max wave her arms incredulously, giving up.

“Why is it so hard to believe someone might be interested in Eddie?” El asked, half trying to defend her friend and half genuinely curious.

“Well, for one he’s an outcast.” Lucas said.

“So are we all.” Max retorted.

“He’s a freak with a very peculiar set of interests.” Mike gave his input.

“That doesn’t really mean anything, we all enjoy D&D and rock music as well.”

“And he’s on his way to have to do the senior year for the fourth time.” Dustin finished.

“Oh, come on, give the guy a break!” Max snapped “You know what he went through this year, it kinda makes sense that school wasn't his top priority.”

El nodded, agreeing.

“Besides” she said, a tilt to her head indicating she actually meant it “Eddie is a really nice guy and anyone would be lucky to date him.”

“Would you?”

“Would I what?”

“Date Eddie.” Mike told her “Would either of you date Eddie given the chance.”

Eleven and Max shared a look, not even hesitating before they answered.

“Yes.”

“Absolutely.”

“What?!” the boys asked in disbelief.

“He’s a really nice guy!” Max said, linking arms with El.

“He’s really funny.” El complemented, adding a skip to their step.

“And he’s pretty good looking.”

“His hair is cool.”

“And have you seen his tattoos?”

“He’s bitchin’.” El finished, smiling.

Mike and Lucas looked at each other, only slightly worried, while Dustin scoffed, shaking his head in disappointment.

Arriving at the theater, they went to buy the tickets.

“Okay, let’s entertain this crazy idea for a second and say she is real.” Dustin simply couldn’t let the subject go “What do you guys think she’s like?”

“Like him to some degree, otherwise they wouldn’t be together.” Lucas rushed in “They have to have a lot in common.”

After a moment of silence Mike spoke up.

“I could see Eden dating him.”

“Eden?” Dustin asked, perplexed “Suzie’s older sister? When did you- you know what? I don’t even wanna know.”

“But she’s dating Argyle now.” Will pointed out.

“True.”

They finally arrived at the snack booth, a familiar face behind the counter that they knew pretty well.

“Hey, look who it is! My favorite person in the whole world!” Dustin called your name very enthusiastically, a gigantic, very dramatic smile plastered on his face while he leaned his forearm over the counter “Whats up?”

“Flattery will get you nowhere, Henderson.” you rolled your eyes, already used to the boy’s behavior.

“But why?” he whined, head thrown back dramatically “You always give El an extra piece of candy every single time, how come she’s your favorite?”

“Whaaat? I do no such thing.” you retorted, sending a conspiratory wink in El's way “Even suggesting that is an offense to my honor.”

“Ugh, I’m so sorry, miss ‘do-no-wrong.”

You giggled. No matter how much it seemed to annoy you, you absolutely loved those kids and would do everything for them.

“Same as always?”

“You know us too well.” Mike answered.

While you went about preparing the kids’ snacks, they (read Dustin, Mike and Lucas) quickly created a game out of people watching, much to the annoyance of the rest of the group.

“What about her?” Lucas pointed out a girl, plain clothes and nothing truly remarkable about her appearance.

“Nah, they don’t seem like they really match.” Mike countered back before pointing to a stuck up looking girl who seemed annoyed to just exist “How about that one?”

The other boys looked the girl up and down before shaking their heads.

Dustin perked up when his eyes landed on someone coming out of a showing of Poltergeist II.

“What about her?!” he pointed out a woman in darker clothes, excitement lacing his voice “She seems like she would be perfect for him. Look, she even likes horror films!”

Max rolled her eyes so hard they almost popped out of the sockets.

“If he was interested in older women he would be drooling over Mike’s mom.” the corner of her lips lifted in a tiny smirk “How did you describe her? ‘Smoking hot like chicken wings’?”

Mike’s face turned red as he turned to face Dustin.

“What did you say about my mom?!” his next move would have surely resulted in an immeasurable amount of pain for Dustin (and probably a trip to the hospital) had you not intervened at that very moment.

“Alright! Here you go.” you started putting the snacks over the counter “Three large popcorns, one with extra butter, two large sodas, two medium sodas,” you then proceeded to hand the items one by one “Blue Raspberry Airheads for Will, Cry Baby Tears for Max, Gummi Bears for Lucas, Licorice Rockies for Dustin, Watermelon and Cherry Nerds for Mike and last, but not least, a packet of Spree for El.”

As you were sliding the packet towards El, the girl noted that you had given her a Caramello bar, hidden under the other candy. That had been something you had been doing ever since she had first stopped by the theater you work at; she had been mesmerized at the assortment of sweets on display and simply could not choose one. You had overheard her telling her boyfriend that she had never tried any of those, and you had made it your life’s mission to give her as much candy as you could without getting busted by your boss just so she could figure out her favorite kind. So far, nothing had beaten Spree. She smiled at you, grateful for what you’ve been doing for her.

“Hey!” Dustin also seemed to have noticed the interaction “I saw that!”

You and El looked at each other, suppressing a smile.

“Saw what?” Eleven asked, a deadpan look on her face that only made Dustin more exasperated.

After paying and balancing all their food, the kids started heading towards the movie rooms. As they were walking away you called after them.

“Good luck trying to defeat Lareth the Beautiful!” you waved and then added under your breath so they could not hear from the distance “You’re gonna need it.”

“Thanks!” they all responded in unison, not giving it a second though.

After a moment of playful banter, Eleven decided to address something that had been on her mind since they got to the movie theater.

“What about her?”

The others shot her a confused look.

“What about who?” Will asked.

She nodded her head back at the counter where you were wiping out fallen kernels and elaborated, though it ended up sounding more like a question.

“As Eddie’s girlfriend?”

The boys who were in on the bet looked at each other before bursting out in hysterical laughter.

“Her?!” Lucas sputtered out “Dating Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson?! Seriously El?”

“Little Miss Perfect, Goodie-Two-Shoes over there?” Dustin added “Who works at the nursing home during the week and volunteers at the animal shelter every other weekend?!”

“There is no way!” Mike doubled over.

“Never in a million years!”

“Absolutely not!”

El looked towards Will and Max for support, who only shrugged, as if having given up discussing the subject. But she didn’t miss the quiet look of agreement she saw crossing their faces.

On the other side of town, a similar conversation would take place only a few hours later.

“I’m telling you, Rob” Steve said, placing a recently returned copy of The Empire Strikes Back in its respective place on the shelf “if I can’t keep a girl interested in me for more than a week, there’s no way Munson has a girlfriend!”

Robin hummed, rearranging the collection of Planet of the Apes in the correct order.

“That’s not saying much, you know that, right?” she snickered.

He rolled his eyes at what she was implying.

“Let the guy be, Steve.” she moved on to the next row “If he says he has a girlfriend, then he has a girlfriend. I don’t know why it’s so hard to believe that.”

“We go to the same school as him, right? I don’t know if you noticed but girls aren’t exactly throwing themselves at him.”

“I don’t know if you noticed, dingus, but he’s almost three years older than us. He’s supposed to have graduated by now. I’m pretty sure his girlfriend was in his original class or something.”

“But we were freshmen when he was a junior!” he threw his arms up “I’m pretty sure we would have noticed if he started getting cozy with someone!”

“Steve,” the girl gave him a sad, almost resentful smile “you didn’t even notice me before we started working together last year. You only had eyes for Nancy.”

Steve was quiet, for he knew she was right.

“That and you let those two dickheads Tommy and Carol infiltrate your mind and hypnotize you into becoming a jock!” she tried lighting up the mood, knowing she had hit a sensitive spot for him, which seemed to work as he chuckled.

Their bonding was interrupted by the sound of the little bell over the door, signaling a new client had just come in. Robin started the whole customer service speech while walking slowly towards the counter.

“Hi, welcome to Family Video, how may we help you?” she stopped short once she realized it was you “Hi! Oh my god, I haven’t seen you in a while, how are you?”

“Hey, Robin! I’ve been good, a little busy but what’s new?” both of you giggled, Robin with a bit more flare than necessary.

Steve watched the interaction with a strange kind of fascination.

“What can I get for you today?”

“Let’s see…” you tapped your chin, deep in thought before asking with a hopeful tone “Is Lady and The Tramp available?”

“I got it!” Steve typed it down on the computer “Lucky for you, m’lady, it is.” 

Robin stared at him as if he had grown a second head while he retrieved the tape.

“Can I get a second one? I really wanted to watch The Three Caballeros, but I think it’s kind of mandatory to watch Saludos Amigos first.”

The girl checked in and sure enough, it was available. While she checked you out, Steve was busy putting your tapes in a bag.

“Make sure to drop by more often.” Robin said “It’s been so long, we have to catch up eventually!”

“Yeah, come hang out with us sometime!” Steve added, immediately wincing at his own lack of subtleness.

“Will do.” you waved at them and walked out of the store.

Robin slowly turned towards her friend.

“What was that?”

“I don’t know! I kind of panicked!” he rubbed a hand over his face “Who was that anyway?”

“Duh,” Robin stated your name “only the smartest, sweetest and most beautiful girl in school in forever? Straight A’s, always super nice to everyone, incredibly well dressed, kind of a nerd, but no one gave her too much of a hard time?”

Steve continued to stare blankly at her. She sighed, giving up.

“I had the biggest crush on her in sophomore year while she tutored me in math, but she left the following year and I almost flunked without her help.”

Steve shrugged, not really remembering you at all.

“Now that I come to think of it, she used to hang out with Eddie quite a lot back then.”

“No!” he stared at the door you had recently left through “Do you think…?”

“I don’t know!” she shrugged, a seemingly victorious smile spreading across her face “Maybe?”

They stood in silence for a second.

“There is no way a girl as sweet and as hot as her would be interested in Munson of all people!”

“Come on, Steve, that’s so mean!”

Almost a month had passed since that fateful lunch break. Lucas and Mike eventually settled down and forgot about the whole ordeal, but Steve and, especially, Dustin were relentless. Everyday they would bring up the subject of Eddie’s girl, to the point where the other members of Hellfire Club were starting to get annoyed.

“So, Eddie,” Dustin started accusingly, “where is that imaginary girlfriend of yours today?”

Everyone groaned. 

“How many times do I have to tell you this?” Eddie rolled his eyes and rubbed both hands down his cheeks “She’s working!”

“At night? In the middle of the week?” Steve added, suspicion is his voice.

“She’s fresh off training so she gets the worst shifts.” Eddie explained, getting kind of tired of the matter.

“Hey, Steve?”

“Yeah, Henderson?”

“You know what that sounds to me?”

“What?”

“A bullshit excuse!” Dustin shouted, pointing his finger in Eddie’s face.

“Uhm excuse me.” a voice sounded from the end of the table “If you two old ladies have finished your daily 3 pm gossip over the window, can we go back to the game? How are we supposed to defeat Lareth if all you do is bicker all day long?!” Erica, who occasionally joined the party if she didn’t have too much homework, piped up, annoyed.

Dustin mumbled, clearly not done talking about it, when an idea struck him all of a sudden, making him punch the table, rattling all of the metal figurines.

“What the fuck was that for, Dustin?!” Max asked, startled, a look of angered surprise on her face that matched that of almost everyone there.

“S-sorry.” he answered, only slightly embarrassed “I-I’m just- excited to maybe finally defeat Lareth?”

He winced, not sounding the least bit convincing even to himself, but the others seemed to have bought it for now.

After the game, in which they hadn’t, in fact, managed to defeat Lareth the Beautiful and frankly almost got all killed trying to do so, Dustin pulled Erica aside, out of earshot from the others, especially Eddie.

“What do you want?” she hissed.

“I need a favor.”

“What makes you think I’d help you?” she crossed her arms petulantly. 

“Please?”

She sighed and nodded for him to go on.

“I need you to spy on Eddie for me.”

“Uh, why?”

“We have a bet. He says he has a girlfriend, I think it’s bullshit. Steve, Mike and Lucas agree with me, while Robin and Max, the fools, think this girl is actually real.”

“And what do you need me for?”

“Follow him around, I don’t know. He would never suspect, you’re not part of the bet. Just try and prove that he’s actually lying to all of us”

She thought for a long moment.

“What’s in it for me?”

“What?” he squeaked.

“What’s in it for me?” she repeated with a smug expression “What do I get out of helping you?”

Dustin sighed.

“You can keep my share.”

Erica’s eyes widened and her jaw dropped open.

“Honestly? At this point I just want to prove I’m right. Join in, make the total amount larger and you can keep both yours and my share of it.”

She extended a hand for him to shake.

“It’s a pleasure doing business with you.” and she skipped away to catch up with Lucas.

Dustin hadn’t heard from Erica since their conversation and his faith in her was beginning to waver. A couple more weeks went by before the girl finally joined the Club once more.

“Eddie.” was the first thing she said the minute she sat down in front of the board game “I heard there is a bet of sorts going around.”

“Yes there is, Sinclair the Second.” the man answered and, having a feeling where the conversation was going, grabbed the paper he previously wrote all the names (and it looked somehow even more crumpled than before).

“I’d like to join in.” she said, a large grin on her face.

“It’s $20 per person-” Eddie started explaining before she cut him off.

“Actually I’d like to add 30 bucks.” she said decisively.

Most people around the table looked at each other, impressed and apprehensive at the same time. Dustin on the other hand, nodded victoriously towards his buddies.

“Alright, I have to admit you’re bold, Sinclair the Second.” Eddie did the math “So that increases the final prize to $150. Which side are you joining?”

Erica looked towards Dustin, who discreetly nodded at her.

“I think she’s real.”

Dustin’s jaw dropped.

“Wh-aat?!” his voice cracked from surprise.

“I just don’t see why Eddie would lie, that’s all.” she shrugged nonchalantly.

Dustin shot her a murderous look while Eddie scribbled down her name alongside Max and Robin’s.

“That sure is a good thing. Because she was just talking about requesting to change shifts with a coworker who’s said something about wanting to take more care of his cat during the day.” Eddie finished writing with a flurish “So you might get to meet her pretty soon.”

“Yeah, right.” Lucas snickered, which prompted an elbow to his ribs from Max.

The game proceeded without much hitch after that. After the fiasco that was trying to defeat Lareth the Beautiful the last time everyone was a little apprehensive in trying to take him out again, that was, if they could even find where he lived. But, in a move of sheer luck, Eleven managed to figure out his hideout after scoring 17 while searching an abandoned moathouse. Now all they had to do was attack.

“But I must warn you, my fellow adventurers,” Eddie spoke, his low voice smooth and mysterious while his eyes roamed the face of everyone in the room “every action has consequences. Think through before you strike, for you might not come out of this alive.”

El, who had been feeling brave after a succession of favorably high rolls (which may or may not have had something to do with her powers when she felt she was going to score too low, but you’d never get that out of her as long as she lived), decided to speak up.

“I say we go for it.” everyone stared at her wide eyed “What? We had a lot of time to prepare, everyone has their health full and all their best weapons… we already lost once, what’s the worst that could happen?”

“She’s right.” Lucas agreed, grabbing the dice “Who wants to start?”

“I will.” Steve decided “I’m the weakest of us all, that way if something happens to me you still have a chance to escape and get stronger.”

“No, Steve.” Robin argued.

“No one gets left behind.” Max concluded “I’ll go first.”

“No, I will.” Mike tried ripping the dice out of Max’s hands.

“Come on, let me go first.” El tried to speak, but suddenly the metal doors squaked open, silencing everyone in the room.

Shyly, someone poked their head inside. 

“Hey!” you spoke from your place by the door “I hope I’m not too late?”

Eddie practically jumped out of his throne.

“Sweetheart!” he boomed, opening his arms “You are just in time! They are just about to face Lareth the Beautiful.”

“Again?” you asked, fully stepping inside the room.

“For good this time.” he answered with a mirthful smirk. “What are you doing here?”

“Mrs. Johnson let me off earlier from the nursing home. I managed to swap shifts with Mateo, so now I can come to your campaigns!”

Walking closer to the table, everyone gawked at your sudden appearance. You stopped beside the DM’s throne, but Eddie was quick to pull you sideways into his lap, where you landed giggling like a maniac. Turning your head over your shoulder, you pressed a light peck on his lips.

“No way…” Lucas gaped, shaking his head.

“Yes way.” Max retorted, nodding mesmerized.

“Hah!” Robin slapped both her hands on the table, pointing a finger at Steve in front of her.

Confused, you stared at Eddie, whose smile has never looked more smug.

“What is going on?”

“It is you?!” Dustin stood up so quickly his chair scraped on the floor before tumbling backwards onto the floor.

“Is what me?”

“You’re his girlfriend?” Steve started in awe, feeling a tiny pang of hurt on his chest.

“Uh, yeah.” you nodded, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“How?” Mike all but shouted, Eleven smiling triumphantly at his side.

You and Eddie shared a look.

“You know, Wheeler,” Eddie started, smirking “when two people love each other-”

His speech was interrupted by a chorus of repeated ‘woah’s, Steve rushing to cover Erica’s years, Robin doing the same for El, all the while you chuckled at your boyfriend’s antics .

“There are children here, man.” Steve hissed.

“No, I mean it.” Dustin shook his head in disbelief “Why are you dating him ?”

“I told you would never believe me.” Eddie explained.

Your laughter turned into a dreamy smile.

“Eddie is such a sweetheart. He’s charming, he makes me laugh. And I know I can always count on him no matter what. I know he’ll always be there for me.” you beamed softly at him, before turning back to the party, a playful grin on your face “And it doesn’t hurt that he’s incredibly attractive.”

Dustin made a gagging noise while Eddie playfully flicked his hair over his shoulder.

“I mean, who could resist my witful charms, Henderson?”

Erica turned towards her brother, Dustin, Mike and Steve, a proud look on her face.

“Pay up, losers.” she made a come hither motion with her hand “I believe the four of you owe us $50 for each of us.”

She high-fived Robin and Max.

Dustin stared at her, a look of betrayal taking over his features.

“You agreed you’d help me.” he accused.

“No” she said matter-of-factly “I agreed to spy on Eddie for you. And I did.”

Eddie let out a fake gasp, holding an offended hand over his heart.

“You asked Sinclair the Second to spy on me?!”

Dustin held a hand up.

“That’s besides the point.” he turned back to Erica “What happened?”

“I spied on him, just like you asked. And what I found was the both of them” she nodded her head in your direction, where you were still draped over your boyfriend’s legs “being all lovey-dovey with one another. Y’all are just too dumb to see it.” 

Dustin shook his head as if he still couldn’t believe it. 

“Now that we’ve gotten this out of the way” Eddie’s voice suddenly shifted to the one he used as Dungeon Master “are you ready to take on Lareth the Beautiful once and for all?”

Everyone around the table shouted words of agreement and encouragement, including you. Dustin quickly grabbed the dice, ready to go first. He raised his arms, hands cupped around the dice, and started shaking them. Every member of the club, and now you, stared at him in anticipation, before he hesitated.

“Seriously, though, what do you see in him?”

“Dustin!”

[thatdisasterauthor]

Beta Search

I'm looking for a beta (or a few) for my new book who is willing to read it in chunks as I get them done. The book is heavily based around wildland firefighting, and that's something I know enough about that I don't know what isn't common knowledge anymore, so I'm looking for someone that knows nothing or next to nothing about wildland firefighting and can point out anything that's confusing to the average person. (Other feedback is also welcome! That's just the one main thing I know I need to get checked right off the bat, lol.)

These are three of the major characters. Left to right we've got:

Theo: second in command of his family's private wildland firefighting company, The Torch Crew, which was started in the fifties by his grandfather. Doing his best to keep the company alive despite the mismanagement of his much older second cousin who currently owns and runs it. Definition of "he a little confused but he got the spirit" queer ally.

Maddie: Theo's best friend. Trans woman. Takes no shit and is trying very hard to get Theo to stop taking his second cousin's shit. Very good at cutting down very scary trees and making it look easy. Lives by the mantra of "not my monkeys, not my circus" as much as possible, but when she jumps in she jumps IN.

Andreas: Main character. Asexual. 20 years old. College dropout who only joined the family firefighting company because he didn't know what else to do with himself. Nearly dies on page one and in the process accidentally ends up enmeshed in a bunch of nonsense with several Greek Gods, kicking off the plot.

Said plot, without giving too much away at this point, involves a lot of natural disaster and Andreas trying to navigate what it means to be favored by the gods, especially when at least one of those gods has it out for the existence of all mortals.

Overall themes of sacrifice, what sacrifice means, responsibility for the climate, and power as an individual vs. a collective.

I have about 30k written so far, and I'm thinking it'll end up around 80-100k, and will be a standalone. I'd send it to you in probably 2-3 chapter chunks as I get them done, plus that 30k chunk that's already done. I'd appreciate relatively quick feedback (weeks rather than months).

If you're interested, please DM me! I'd like to do this over Discord if possible, if not, email is fine. And it would be using Word for feedback as I don't use Google Docs.

I'll turn off reblogs when I've found enough people, so if reblogs are on I'm still looking. :)

[supernovafics]

Absolutely loving the I’ll be there for you universe not sure if you’re taking requests but I’d absolutely love to see reader getting jealous over Steve bring a girl back to their apartment 💗

𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐀 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆

"i'll be there for you" universe masterlist

pairing: bestfriend!roommate!steve harrington x fem!reader

word count: 2.8k words

warnings: (slightly)jealous!reader, explicit language, angst, soft(ish) ending

summary: in which a night that was already pretty shitty turns even worse when steve brings his date back to the apartment

author's note: i loved this request idea !! this became a lot more angsty than i initially planned/thought it would be 😭 (also i'm so happy that ur enjoying this little universe so far<333)

general note: everything in this universe/series can be read as standalone oneshots but to understand the full “lore” it would prob be best to read the other stuff too<333

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Fall 1985

There were some moments in your life that were so ridiculous it made you feel like you were in a movie; one that was a solid mix between comedy and horror. 

Tonight proved to be one of those moments.

And it wasn’t even the fact that you were in your bedroom stuck studying for a Psych test on a Thursday night rather than doing your original plan of seeing some show at The Hideout with Eddie that made you feel that way. Instead, what made you feel like you were trapped inside the horror-comedy that was called your life was the fact that you had completely forgotten that Steve had gone on a date tonight. But, you were all too quickly reminded of that when you heard the squeaky front door of the apartment open and close, and then not too long after that, you heard the sound of Steve’s voice saying something you couldn’t fully decipher, but a girl’s very elated giggles were the response to his words.

“Shit,” You muttered to yourself as you immediately stopped reviewing your notes and started desperately searching for your Walkman and headphones. 

Moments like this were not supposed to happen, and after how quickly you and Steve learned that the walls in the apartment were insanely thin, you put a sort of system in place to make sure this kind of thing never happened. You would always tell each other when either of you were going on a date that could potentially lead to the person being brought back to the apartment, so that you or Steve could plan not to be there if that happened. And if it was actually a last second thing, you would try to do it at the person’s place instead of abruptly bringing them to the apartment. 

For the most part, this little system worked perfectly fine, and in the four months that you two had been living in the apartment there hadn’t been any issues with it. But, apparently, tonight Steve either forgot about the system or he decided to disregard it entirely.

And yes, in his mind, you were supposed to be gone for most of the night anyway— Steve hadn’t known that your plans abruptly changed when you were reminded of the test that you’d entirely forgotten about— but he definitely did not tell you that his date would potentially take this turn. When he talked about it early that morning as you two shared a quick breakfast before you ran off to class, he seemed pretty passive about the whole thing. He had quite literally shrugged and gave you a half-hearted “yes” when you asked him if he was at least a little excited about it.

Somehow it was this realization that things had apparently gone so well that he decided to bring Vanessa back to the apartment that bothered you a bit more than the situation you were now in where you could potentially hear scarring things at any given moment.  

It annoyed you further that, technically, in some fucked up kind of way, all of this was your fault. 

Vanessa was in your communications class; it was probably the one course this semester you actually didn’t hate. You and her had the kind of relationship where you did consider her a friend, but you also knew that you’d probably never see her again once the semester was over and you two were no longer in the same class.

It had only been last week when you offhandedly mentioned Robin and Steve’s Family Video to her when she mentioned to you that the video store by her never had anything good. And when she showed up to class the next day gushing about the “hot guy that worked there,” you told her that he was your best friend. She then excitedly asked if there was any way you could help set them up, and you stupidly told her yes. 

It was probably one of the dumbest things you’d ever said because you and Steve never set each other up with anyone; it was one of your unspoken rules. There was just something about doing so that felt weird and somehow wrong. 

Being each other’s “wingmen” while you were out at some party or giving dating advice was completely different. Doing either of those things didn’t feel as personal as actively looking for someone for each other; mainly because you knew that you both would be so damn picky and would only want to find that “perfect person” for one another. And then there was the more selfish side of it where neither of you really wanted to do it because your friendship always shifted in a certain kind of way whenever either of you got in a serious relationship. 

In your head, Vanessa wasn’t that perfect person, and you wished that you could use your selfishness as a plausible reason to tell her that you didn’t want to help set them up, but it wasn’t a good reason so you did it.

That same day, you told Steve that she thought he was cute and gave him her number, and he called her and the rest was history. 

You didn’t even think that anything would really stem from the date because of how uncaring Steve seemed about it this morning, but you once again thought about how that apparently had changed. And you adamantly pretended that you weren’t currently feeling something weird in your stomach because of that. 

You finally found your Walkman and you popped in a cassette tape before slipping your headphones on and going back to reviewing your notes. You fully pushed your mind away from Steve and Vanessa and what they were doing on the opposite side of the apartment in his bedroom.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

It was hard to tell if you were actually retaining any of the information that you had been studying for the past hour. But, it was easier to just pretend you were instead of letting yourself think about anything else. 

You kept your focus on the chapter you were reading and the music playing in your ears; a new album that you just got and were finally getting around to listening to. 

You had spent the last five minutes stuck on reviewing a concept that wasn’t making much sense to you before deciding to simply skip it for the time being and turning to the next page in your textbook. It was always in moments like these where you would wonder if any of what you were doing would eventually make sense in the grand scheme of things. If you’d ever learn if there was any point to studying and stressing over a stupid Psychology test, because would it even lead you to where you wanted to be in the future? However, it was hard to fully answer that question because you still didn’t even know what you wanted your future to look like. And that was just another thing that you wanted to push your mind away from at that moment.

Right as you were about to put a new tape in your Walkman, you once again heard the squeaky sound of the front door opening, and then after a few moments and hearing what you assumed were goodbyes, you heard it close.

With a loud sigh, you stood up from your desk, closing your textbook and notebook in the process because you were over studying, and you were now ready to become at least a little mad at Steve for making you feel like a hostage in your own home for the last hour.

You immediately noticed him in the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge.

“Hey,” You said, and he jumped a bit before quickly turning around to face you; it was a little funny seeing how much you slightly startled him, almost enough to make you not feel mad at him anymore, but not quite. 

“Woah, I didn’t even know you were here,” He said as he closed the fridge. “I thought you were gonna be with Eddie all night.”

“That plan changed because I remembered I have a test tomorrow, so I’ve been here studying for the past few hours.”

“Oh,” He said, and then it seemed as if something quickly clicked in his mind. “Shit. Did you hear–”

You interrupted him by immediately shaking your head. “No, thank God, no.”

“I’m sorry, I had no idea you were gonna be here tonight,” He told you, his voice then became soft. “I also didn’t think that would happen tonight, which is why I didn’t even think about mentioning it this morning.”

You once again wondered what happened on the date; how great it must have gone. But as much as you wanted to know everything about it, you also wanted to know absolutely nothing. You felt that weird feeling in your stomach coming back. This time you were able to decipher what it was— annoyance, and maybe even a little jealousy.

That was foreign to you because you never felt that way when it involved Steve and who he was dating or even simply flirting with. You didn’t necessarily like all of the girls he brought around, but you were always supportive and never felt an ounce of jealousy. Maybe it was the fact that you facilitated this situation that made it all feel worse somehow; like it was “too close to home,” in a way. 

You knew that you’d see Vanessa tomorrow— right before your stupid Psych test that you should probably still be studying for— and she’d probably tell you all about the date; excitedly rehashing the details of it. The thought of that happening only made the feeling in your stomach grow, and you quickly became frustrated with yourself for feeling so annoyed about everything right then. 

“You want a grilled cheese?” Steve asked, pulling you out of your spiraling thoughts. He went into the pantry to grab the bread. “I was about to make one.”

You nodded at him, happy to pretend that you weren’t internally falling down a very rough hill. “Yes, I’ll take one. I think that’s very fair compensation for the almost trauma you just put me through.”

“I agree,” Steve said as he pulled out a pan. “And once again, I’m sorry.”

“Say that a thousand more times and maybe I’ll forgive you,” You told him teasingly before sitting on the couch and turning on the TV. You flipped through the channels for a bit before settling on a random sitcom, watching it as Steve cooked in the kitchen and the smell of toasted bread and melted cheese started wafting through the air. 

“Here you go,” He said barely ten minutes later as he handed you a plate with your grilled cheese on it. “And make sure to cross this next “sorry” off the tab. I’m sorry.”

You laughed a bit at the pouty face he gave you to emphasize the apology. “Thanks.”

He sat down next to you on the couch and a silence settled between you two as you both enjoyed the grilled cheese sandwiches and only half-enjoyed the TV show playing.

The mindlessness of the show made it somewhat easy to avoid your thoughts. However, you still couldn’t help but silently debate whether or not you should let your curiosity get the better of you and ask him how the date went; even though you were almost certain that the answer he gave you would only make what you were feeling worsen. 

“So, are you gonna see her again?” You decided to ask him instead. 

That felt like the easier question to ask since you fully expected Steve to say no because nine times out of ten, he was rarely ever a second date kind of person; even if sex was involved on the first date. So, if the answer to your question was the no that you thought it would be, there would be no reason to feel this confusing jealous feeling because it wasn’t like anything more was going to stem between them. 

You were already mentally swearing to yourself that you’d never set him up with anyone again if this was how you’d feel when you did. Maybe that was another subconscious reason why you both never did this in the first place; deep down you knew just how uncomfortable it would be.

“Yeah,” Steve answered before he took another bite of his grilled cheese. “We’re gonna go to the movies next weekend.”

You only nodded halfheartedly at that because you couldn’t think of any actual words to say in response.

Instead of your current feelings washing away, they only increased tenfold, and then it all settled into something that resembled sadness. And then you became upset at yourself because you couldn’t pinpoint exactly where your melancholy was coming from. 

Were you jealous of Vanessa for potentially “stealing” your best friend away? Jealous of Steve for potentially getting into something serious while you were nowhere close to having that? Or simply annoyed with yourself for being the one to have made this happen in the first place? 

It was a solid mix of all three, you knew that— that was probably the one thing you were actually certain about. 

“You okay?” Steve asked. You were unsure how long you’d been quiet, but the show playing on the TV was now on a commercial break, so you knew that it had been at least a minute or two.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” You immediately told him. You wondered how obvious it was for your best friend to tell that you were quite far from fine. “I’m just… really tired. I’ve been studying for that test for so long and I kinda have a headache, and yeah…” You abruptly stood up from the couch. “I’m just gonna go to bed. ‘Night.”

You placed your now empty plate under Steve’s and then started heading to your bedroom before he could read you like a book and ask you more questions about what was currently going on with you.

“Goodnight,” You heard Steve say before you closed your door behind you. 

You knew that you should’ve sat back down at your desk and studied some more, but in that moment you truly couldn’t be bothered. You were suddenly glad that Psychology was your last class on Fridays so you’d have some more time to study throughout the day before having to take the test.

You laid down in your bed and pulled your blanket over your head as you let out a long breath. Every single thing you were feeling was still lingering and somehow it didn’t feel as if it was going away. You hoped it would all be gone by the morning; that you’d wake up feeling the complete opposite of how you were right then, that you’d feel stupid and laugh at how you had felt tonight. 

It could’ve been only a minute of you lying in your bed, or it could’ve been ten— you had no concept of time in that moment— but you heard a knock on your door at some point. You ignored it, hoping that Steve would go away, but also knowing that he wouldn’t.

Barely a minute later, you heard your door open and you didn’t have to see Steve to know that he was walking in. He was trying to be as quiet as possible, but the creaky wooden floors didn’t allow for any sort of silence.

You slowly pulled the blanket down from over your head and looked up at him. “Hi.”

“Hi,” He said as he set something down on your nightstand. “Some water and aspirin for your headache.”

A small smile took over your face and you sat up. “Thanks.”

“I know you’re too tired now, but I can help you study a little in the morning, if you want,” He told you and then gave you a playful smile. “I love reading your notecards.”

You shook your head and rolled your eyes. “Shut up, I know you hate helping me study for anything.”

“Yes, but I’ll always still do it.” 

You smiled at that. “Okay, well in that case, wake up at eight and we can study for an hour before I have to leave for my nine-thirty class.” 

“Got it.” 

“Thank you,” You said before leaning your head back against your pillow.

For a moment, you thought about telling him how you’d been feeling tonight; the jealousy, the annoyance. He’d probably think it was funny, just like you would in a few days. But, when you turned your head to look at Steve before he left your room and softly closed the door behind him, you decided against saying anything.

Just in case everything you were feeling right then actually meant something a little different than what you thought it did.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

let me know ur thoughts<333

(requests are open for stuff you wanna see in the universe/series!🫶🏾)

[jokeringcutio]

Stepbrother! Stu Macher x (f) Reader "Hallway meeting" (Mature, no smut)

Summary: The first time Reader and Stu bump into each other while going to bed.

Yes, that is an actual Matthew Lillard pic @likoplays kindly shared when I asked what Stu would wear

AN: These drabbles are in no particular order and not necessarily related. But they are all Stepbrother!StuMacher x !Stepsister Reader Universe. For those of you who are keeping track of the Stepbrother!Stu Macher fics: These are standalone fics, although some of the fics with Stu can be seen as linked to other drabbles. I'll leave it up to you to choose your own path with these drabbles and fics. 💜

Rating: Mature due to implications and getting hot and bothered, warning for language use by Stu.

First Time Bumping into Stu on your way to bed

You had just finished brushing your teeth, the minty freshness still tingling on your tongue as you reached for the doorknob. The bathroom light cast a soft glow against the tiles, making the white porcelain of the sink gleam. You turned, ready to escape into the dim hallway, as quick as a mouse and as sneaky as a shadow, when suddenly, there he was.

"Shit, sis," Stu muttered, almost colliding with you in his haste.

"Sorry," you breathed out, heart thudding irregularly. His presence was too close, too sudden. He stood there in nothing but his briefs, the fabric clinging to him in places your eyes shamelessly traced, hiding nothing. You were caught in a moment of forbidden appraisal, his physique unexpectedly striking- muscles subtly defined and skin a warm tone even in the half-light.

"Didn't expect anyone would still be up," Stu's voice cut through your thoughts, laced with something that bordered on amusement. And there was that killer smile of his again.

You swallowed hard as you managed to finally tear your eyes away from all that Stu was sporting. You felt the flush on your cheeks burn hotter.

"I- I usually go to bed earlier," you managed to say, tugging self-consciously at the hem of your baggy pajama top.

Although you had lived here for several weeks now, you still didn’t dare to wear very revealing clothes, leaving you to sleep in the baggiest but ever-so-comfy pajamas that you owned. And in Stu’s presence, you felt heavily overdressed. Would he find you silly or childish to be sleeping in this type of pajamas? Would he tease you with it later on?

"Looks like we're on a collision course tonight, then," he quipped, his smile sharp and knowing. His gaze lingered just a second too long, flirty intentions clear as day.

"Collision avoided," you replied quickly, sidestepping to give him room.

But even as you moved away, you couldn't shake the awareness of his body so near yours, your breath mingling in the narrow space between you.

“Narrowly,” Stu said, the grin audible in his voice. His chest hovered incredibly close to your face, his nipples just in sight. How did a girl concentrate when that view was in her line of sight?

Get a grip, you scolded yourself mentally. This was your stepbrother. He was just teasing you. Whatever he said didn’t mean a thing.

He was probably practicing his skills for Casey. Or any of the other many girls he had lined up to be his girlfriend. You sometimes wondered if Stu meant it when he made flirty comments to you, or if this was the only way he had ever interacted with girls before.

But this was the first time you had run into Stu while on your way to bed, and wasn’t it something? Your mind quickly ran away from you, thinking forbidden thoughts, while you had to force your eyes to keep focused on his face rather than drift lower to admire his physique.

"Careful, or you might start looking forward to these little run-ins." His grin widened, the words heavy with suggestion as he leaned slightly towards you.

"Goodnight, Stu," you said, fumbling for detachment, for some semblance of normalcy as you retreated.

"I’ll be here each night, usually between one and three A.M.,” he called after you, voice jocular.

Then, a sudden shift as a whisper followed.

“Sweet dreams, sis," his voice now low and smooth, sending shivers down your spine.

That hadn’t just happened, had it?

In the safety of your own room, you stood motionless for a long time, replaying the encounter over and over in your head. You were confused by the unfamiliar yearning that had taken a chokehold on you. Your body felt hot, your cheeks were flustered.

You liked what you saw, more than you should have. And it was terrifying.

"You can’t do this," you whispered to the darkened room, trying to dismiss the heat that Stu's proximity had ignited. “You can’t fall in love with your own stepbrother.”

But deep down, you knew sleep would not come easy tonight, haunted by the dangerous dance of what-if scenarios playing out in your mind. Stu had gotten you hot and bothered.

Again.

~

AN: For more, follow me (:

~~ Support me on Ko-Fi - Masterlist  - Request Box ~~

[wheels-of-despair]

The Case of the Missing Eddie Pairing: Eddie Munson x You Summary: Eddie disappears, and you freak the hell out. Contains: Panic, unhealthy coping mechanisms, murderous thoughts, Uncle Wayne, comfort, cheeseburgers. Word Count: 1.7k-ish Notes: Takes place near the end of the 1984-85 school year. Reader is a junior, Eddie is in Senior Year: Take 2. This was originally written for an event by newlips, but I picked at it for two weeks and still didn't like it enough to submit it, so now it's just a random entry in my Evil Woman universe. (As with all of those, can be read as a standalone.)

This features the prompt "If I believe in anything, it's you." from the 'A Quiet Love' list by soulprompts.

Eddie Munson was nowhere to be found.

You knew he had an appointment with Miss Kelley during 4th period that he'd pretended not to be nervous about. When the bell rang at the end of the day, you'd gone to meet him in the parking lot and find out how it went, but his van was gone. Did he go home sick? Did they find out what he did to the boys' locker room? Had the contents of his lunchbox been discovered? Your mind went wild with worry.

He probably just had errands to run, Gareth had said. It was Friday night, he'd definitely be back in time for Hellfire, Jeff had assured you. And yet, he was not. After waiting half an hour for their Dungeon Master to appear, the Hellfire Club finally packed up and went home.

You went to Eddie's.

Lights off, door locked, no van in sight.

Wedging a note that read "EDWARD. CALL ME." into the crack of the trailer door, you went home and continued worrying.

The next morning, when you knew Wayne would be getting home, you called.

"H'lo?"

"Hey, Wayne. Is Eddie there?"

"Hang on, I just walked in." You heard him put the phone down, walk away, and come back a few seconds later. "He's not here, darlin."

"Do you know if he came home at all last night?"

"Nope… anything I should know?"

"I haven't seen him since lunch yesterday... he was nervous about a meeting with Miss Kelley during 4th period."

"Aw, hell," Wayne grumbled. "If he shows up, I'll get him to call you."

"Thanks, Wayne."

He hummed in acknowledgment and hung up.

You hung up your own phone and banged your head against the wall next to it. What the hell, Eddie?

You waited.

And you waited.

And then you started cleaning.

The kind of cleaning that only happens when you're trying to take your mind off something that's worrying you.

Or someone you're going to kill for causing all this worry.

You hardly slept that night. You hadn't slept the night before either. You'd left your bedroom window cracked, even though it wasn't exactly sleeping-with-the-windows-open weather, hoping that it would summon him.

It did not.

On Sunday morning, approximately 30 seconds after you'd finally drifted off, the phone began to ring.

You leaped out of bed and tried to grab it, but you were so jittery and sleep-deprived, you fumbled it. When you finally got it to your ear, you heard Wayne.

"You alright, darlin'?"

"Yeah, just dropped the phone. Did you find him?"

"He's here, but it looks like he's sleepin' one off. I'd give him a while. Just wanted you to quit worryin'."

You breathed a sigh of relief, still feeling shaky.

"Thanks, Wayne. Can I come by and murder him in a few hours?"

He chuckled. "Go easy, sweetheart. Last time he disappeared like this was when he found out he'd failed."

Shit.

"Alright, Wayne. I'll spare him this time. Thanks again for calling."

"Sure thing. I'll leave the door unlocked for you." Wayne hung up.

Well, he's alive. For now, you think bitterly.

You managed to wait until 11:27 before heading out. You stopped by the only drive-thru in town and ordered Eddie's favorite burger combo, and one for Wayne too. Eddie's was to be used for either bribery or comfort. Wayne's was a thank-you.

You pulled into your usual spot and turned off the car, taking a moment to compose yourself. Breathe. You're not here to kill him for worrying you to death. You're here to find out what's wrong, and show him that you love him. There will be no murder today.

You entered quietly. Wayne, as promised, had left the door unlocked for you. At least one Munson Man can be counted on, said the devil on one shoulder. Go easy on him, he's having a hard time, said the angel on the other. Both of you need to shut the hell up, the annoyed brain in the middle thought. Wayne was sleeping, so you left the food on the table and approached Eddie's room cautiously.

Slipping in and easing the door shut behind you, you take a minute just to watch him breathe. He's alive. He's okay. He's face-down and sprawled out in nothing but his boxers, and you can smell the sweat and booze from the door.

You tiptoe through the mess of dirty clothes on the floor and sit on the edge of the bed. You rub a hand across his back, just grateful to be close to him again. Even if he does smell like a farm animal.

He begins to stir, turning his head in your direction and inching closer to your warmth. All of your anger begins to dissipate. Damn your soft spot for Sleepy Eddie. You reach up and gently brush his hair out of his face. He slowly opens his eyes, and smiles when he sees you.

And then he scrunches his eyes shut again, reaching for his head with a groan, and buries his face in the pillow. You smile, at his adorableness and not his misery, and exit the room. You return a minute later with a tall glass of water and a bottle of painkillers. Shaking out two pills into your palm as quietly as you can, you hold them out to him. You say his name softly, and once he realizes what you want, he sits up and pops them in his mouth, then drains the glass and hands it back to you.

"Another?" He shakes his head, and you place the glass on his bedside table. You want to give him time, and to tell him you love him, and to take it easy on him like Wayne asked you to. However, what comes out of your mouth is:

"What the fuck, Eddie?"

He looks at you quizzically, and his face clouds over when realizes what you're talking about. He sinks back down into the bed, flops onto his stomach, and hides his face in the pillow again. Maybe try a softer approach?

"I'm glad you're okay. But you scared the shit out of me. What the hell happened?"

He mumbles something that you can't quite make out.

"Wanna try that again?" you ask, raising an eyebrow that he can't see.

He turns his head in away from you and speaks to the wall.

"I failed," he croaks, "AGAIN."

As usual, Wayne was right. You wish you'd spent a little less time cleaning and a little more time figuring out how to handle this potential scenario. You take a deep breath.

"Go ahead and leave me, we both know it's coming."

"What?" you ask with an incredulous chuckle.

"You can do better than the dumb-ass Super Senior. Everybody knows it."

"Okay. So I should leave you because you suck at chemistry?"

"I suck at everything."

"Eddie, I say this with love… but shut the fuck up."

For once in his life, he does.

"You are good at so many things. It's not your fault that they're not things you get graded on." He doesn't respond, so you continue. "It's high school. It's not the end of the world."

"I'm gonna be the oldest fucking senior in the history of Indiana."

"Think they'll give you a trophy?"

He scoffs. Too soon, noted.

"You'll get there next year."

"Why bother? I'll just drop out like my old man did, let the cycle continue, everyone expects it anyway."

"No."

"No?"

"No. I'll beat your ass if you drop out, and then Wayne will probably want a turn, and if there's anything left of you, maybe we'll let Hellfire have a go."

You see his body twitch like he's fighting back either a sob or a chuckle, but he doesn't make a sound.

"Plus, you'll have an advantage next year that you didn't have this time."

"What?" he asks miserably.

"Me, doofus. I'll be a senior too. And I'm going to bully Miss Kelley into putting us in the same classes, so I can ride your ass and make sure you pass this time."

"All I heard was ride my ass."

You give the aforementioned ass a sharp smack, and he jumps from the impact.

"You're gonna get there next year. You're gonna walk that stage, flip Higgins the bird, and be free of Hawkins High forever."

"You seriously believe that?"

"If I believe in anything, it's you."

He's silent for a moment, then heaves a sigh and turns over to face you.

"That was extremely cheesy."

"So's the burger I brought you," you tease through the blush rising in your cheeks. It may have been a cheesy line, but it got the job done. "Get your ass up, wash this dead animal stench off, and maybe I'll let you eat it."

He smiles and extends a hand, as if he's going to let you pull him up. You stand up and reach for him, and he pulls you down. Into the bed. Where it smells like a drunk pig has been wallowing. Then he crawls on top of you. Rubbing his stupid face all over you. Spreading his stench with a wicked grin on his face. And you can't even yell at him, because you'll wake Wayne. He knows this. The rotten bastard.

"You're lucky I love you," you hiss through gritted teeth. He stills.

"I know," he says softly, looking up at you with those big sad eyes of his. You feel your heart break a little, and lean in for a kiss.

"Jesus Christ, can you get secondhand drunk? Is that a thing?" You wipe your mouth and shove him off you, and he laughs. You roll out of his bed and start pulling clean clothes out of the dresser, throwing them at him one garment at a time. A t-shirt hits him in the face before he realizes what you're doing, and he catches the rest. He gathers his clothes and heads for the door, stopping in front of you.

"Thank you," he whispers with a lingering kiss to your forehead. You pull back and look up at him with pure adoration in your eyes. And then that mischievous twinkle returns to his. "Jesus, you smell like you've been dumpster diving. When's the last time you bathed? You should probably come get in the shower with me." You laugh and give his smart ass a shove toward the bathroom.

God, you love him.

[ravenclaw-writes]

Morning After

| Part 1 |

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Sirius Black

Description:

Remus finds himself facing the aftermath of having sex with your best friend ... while listening to your other best friends have sex in the next room. Was this a one time thing or does Sirius want more?

Occurs directly after the events of Shared Walls but can also be read as a standalone.

Word Count: 6,184

Original Publish Date: 2023-01-15

A/N: Hi! Final fic from my AO3-to-tumblr transfer. Now I'll start posting here at the same time as my AO3 goes live. This one was a big ol request from all the original readers of Shared Walls, which was originally just going to be a one shot. Had a lot of fun writing this one, softer than my usual stuff but these boys deserve good things too <3 Enjoy and thanks for reading! :)

| MASTERLIST IN BIO |

| Read on AO3 |

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Remus woke to the delicious smell of eggs and bacon.

Slowly, he opened his eyes. The spare room was still dark, but he could tell by the light coming through the gap in the curtains that it was probably close to mid-day. It had been a while since he had gotten a nice lie-in. With a shiver, he realized that there wasn’t even a shred of blanket on his body. He was also naked from the waist down. Confused, and still half asleep, he rolled over to face the other side of the room. Ah.

Sirius was still there, and had somehow managed to cocoon himself in the comforter, creating a giant mass of blanket. Feeling rather exposed, Remus looked around his side of the bed and found his pyjama bottoms hanging off the end. He sat up, stretched, and put them on.

“Moony,” Sirius groaned, his voice muffled a little from the duvet. “Stop moving.”

Remus chuckled. “Time to wake up, I can smell breakfast," he said, giving Sirius' cocoon a couple of pats.

This caught Sirius’ attention and he began to wriggle out of his blanket wrap. Finally free, Sirius sat up, stretched his neck to both sides, cracking it, and did the same to his back. Remus eased himself off the bed, walked over to the window and flung the curtains open.

Sirius hissed and covered his eyes. “Merlin, warn a guy before you do that!”

Remus smirked. “That’s what you get for taking all the blankets.”

“Maybe I just liked looking at you.”

Remus’ cheeks flushed and he tried to deflect it. “Perv."

Sirius smiled. “Only for you.”

Remus rolled his eyes and tried not to read into the comment too much. They've always had playful banter like this, just because they've slept together now doesn't meant their dynamic has changed. Right?

“Come on, let’s go eat, I’m starving.” Sirius pushed himself off the bed. He grabbed his pyjama pants off the ground and put them on before making his way to the door.

“Wait!” Remus called, reaching his arm out to catch Sirius’ attention. Sirius turned around and raised an eyebrow. “Shouldn’t we like,” Remus found himself getting self conscious. “I don’t know, talk about last night?” He asked, not knowing if he wanted to know the answer. But of the two of them, he tended to take on the rationalist role. Someone had to ask.

A pause. “I mean, what is there to talk about? We were both worked up, just happened to be together.” Ah. So playful banter remains that: playful.

Remus tried not to show that the words stung. He knew it was a gamble last night, but actually hearing the words was different. “No, not that part,” He started, trying his best to seem like he agreed with what Sirius had said. “I meant that we’re about to go have breakfast with the two people you got off to last night.”

A hint of a blush started to creep up Sirius’ face but he tried to play it off. “I could have sworn you were also a little turned on.”

Filled with a sudden wave of confidence, Remus walked closer to Sirius. If he didn’t want to come up with a game plan then fine. He knew that Sirius was the one who was loud last night. To a certain extent, most of the embarrassment fell on his shoulders, not Remus’

“Oh I was more than a little turned on,” He got closer, and paused as he passed Sirius so that his next words were spoken directly into his ear. “But I think that had more to do with feeling your hard cock against my ass," he said, toeing the line between playful banter and a come-on. Maybe he just needed to let Sirius know where he stood with this new development. Was it still a development if it was only something that happened once?

Sirius’ eyes widened, and Remus chuckled before he continued to the door and left the spare room.

*** *** ***

When Remus arrived in the kitchen, he realized that coming without Sirius ended up working in his favour. Made it seem like they didn’t fall asleep together … just fucked. Which he guessed was better. Less questions. Questions that he didn’t even know the answer too. For all James and Lily knew, Sirius could have gone back to his own room after they finished.

Remus spotted a pot of coffee ready to go, freshly brewed. He poured himself a cup, wrapping his hands around the mug, feeling the warmth. He inhaled the scent and sighed contently.

James was sitting at the kitchen table, flipping through the morning edition of the Prophet and nursing a cup of tea while Lily continued cooking their breakfast on the stove. Remus had an image flash in his mind of the two of them, years from now, in the same routine but with little Potters running around. James and Lily were going to be the best parents, Remus had never been more sure of anything before.

Remus took a big gulp of coffee and hummed at the taste. He wished for more simple mornings like this.

Lily peered over her shoulder and smiled, a knowing look in her eyes. “Sleep well?”

Remus choked on air, and tried to play it off by taking another sip of coffee. “Could have been better, I kept hearing something banging against the wall,” he tossed back, suppressing a laugh as James spit his tea back into his cup.

“You ought to let that owl out of her cage, James.”

Remus turned to the direction of the voice and saw Sirius leaning casually against the archway into the kitchen. He had no right looking that sexy with bedhead. Remus could see a hickey he didn't remember giving peeking out from the neckline of Sirius shirt.

“Funny you should say, normally she’s fine. She must have heard something in your room.” James offered.

They were dancing around the subject. It was understood that everyone knew what happened last night. But how do you tell your friends that you got off to them having sex on the other side of the bedroom wall? Do you tell them at all? Was anyone going to bring up the fact that up until last night Sirius had offered no indication that he was interested in men?

“I should certainly hope so."

Remus’ eyes widened at Sirius' words and if he had been taking a drink it most certainly would have been spit out. James’ eyes focused in on his cup of tea. Lily snorted.

Sirius chuckled and pushed off the wall, walking towards the pot of coffee. He peered into Remus' mug as he passed. "Ah, I see someone likes their coffee how they like their men," he said directly into Remus' ear, pausing to nip at his earlobe.

Black.

Remus felt his cheeks heat up. Payback for my cock comment, he guessed. Was this past playful? This was Sirius though, he could make anything seem flirty.

Lily looked over her shoulder as Sirius walked away. "Something you'd like to share with the class, Black?"

"No," Remus said at the same time as Sirius;

"Well actually-"

Remus lightly hit Sirius' chest with the back of his hand in a signal that he should stop talking. Sirius held up both hands in defence.

The kitchen fell silent, just the sound of Lily's cooking. The banter had successfully delayed the awkwardness, but without it the four were left with their thoughts. Or maybe that was just Remus.

Does Lily feel weird? She's a girl, girls feel weird about things like this. What about James? He's always territorial over Lily. Merlin, does he think that Sirius and I are interested in her? Fuck, what if he thinks we're interested in HIM? Is Sirius interested in him? Is Sirius interested in me? Since when have I been interested in Sirius? Does Sirius even-

Remus was pulled out of his spiral by a knock at the door.

"I'll get it!" James announced, standing up so quickly that his tea slightly sloshed out of his mug on the table.

Sirius peered over Lily's shoulder and tried to snag a piece of bacon off the plate by the stove. "Hands off, Black," she tutted, hitting his hand away.

"Look who showed up after all!" James exclaimed, reappearing in the kitchen with Peter in tow.

"Peter!" Lily smiled and left her station at the stove to give him a hug. Sirius took this opportunity to grab some of the bacon he had been eyeing. On his way to the table he sneakily handed Remus a piece. Remus willed himself to not blush. It was just a piece of bacon for fuck's sake.

Peter gladly accepted Lily's hug. "Mum had to come home early and let me tag along so I could come here!"

"Brilliant, Wormtail!"

*** *** ***

The rest of day went by fairly easy. Having Peter there made things slightly less awkward but Remus could tell that Lily was itching to talk to him about what the hell had happened between him and Sirius. Remus was avoiding her. He was telling himself that it was because he really didn't want to talk about the fact that Lily had indirectly been involved in his hookup with Sirius and not because he was avoiding the topic of Sirius as a whole. The former did play a role, but not as much as Remus was telling himself it did.

Before he knew it, they were all calling it a night again. Sirius made a joke about silencing spells and Lily flushed. Thankfully, Peter didn't clock it.

The sleeping arrangements were what they would have been if Peter had been there from the beginning. Sirius in his room, Lily with James, Peter and Remus in the spare. As anticipated, Peter's snoring was as bad as it was in their dorm.

For the second night in a row, Remus couldn't sleep. He was under the covers on the bed, laying on his back, staring at the ceiling. He couldn't help but think about what had happened in this bed less than 24 hours ago.

"Touch me, please, fuck,"

"Don't fucking stop,"

"Fuck, I'm going to cum, please let me cum plea-"

Remus was getting hard. What if he - no. No. He couldn't go into Sirius' room. It wasn't like last night where Sirius had a real reason to come in. Well, he could blame Wormtail's snoring...

Fuck it.

Remus quietly got out of bed and stepped over a sleeping Peter on the air mattress. He slowly opened the door, and left the bedroom. With a quick Lumos, he walked down the hallway, past James' door, and a little further: Sirius' room. Remus hesitated, realizing he didn't exactly have a game plan. What was he going to do, walk in and say "Hey Sirius, I can't sleep 'cause Wormy's snoring and also I can't stop thinking about what you sound like begging me to let you cum, mind if I come in?" Maybe skip that middle part. That could work, yeah.

Remus raised his hand to knock on the door, and jumped back in surprise when the door opened, revealing a pyjama-clad Sirius. Sirius swore and put a hand on his chest.

"Merlin! Moony, don't sneak up on me like that!"

"How was I to know you were going to open the door right as I got here?"

"I thought you had super-hearing! You should have heard me," Sirius teased, catching his breath. Remus rolled his eyes. "What were you doing here anyway?"

Remus felt his hands get a little clammy with nerves. "I, uh, couldn't sleep?" It came out as a question and Remus mentally face palmed for his lack of game. Had he not just rehearsed what he was going to say?

Sirius cocked his head to the side. "Oh?"

"Yeah, um, you know how Wormtail snores."

Sirius chuckled lightly. "I'm sure the entire Gryffindor Tower knows how he snores."

There was a pause, an unspoken question hanging in the air.

"Did you want to come inside?" Sirius asked.

Inside you.

"Yeah, that would be nice."

Sirius stepped aside and let Remus enter the room, closing the door after him. Sirius had his curtains drawn, his desk chair turned to face the window. Sirius and his stars, Remus thought fondly. As much as Sirius loved to diss the Blacks and their celestial naming conventions, it wasn't the only reason he was top of the class in Astronomy. Remus wished he knew what was going through Sirius' head when he stared up at the night sky.

Remus put out his wand, letting the the moon provide the lighting. He had been in Sirius' room before, but he was always surprised at how much Gryffindor paraphernalia he had strung about. It was extremely comforting though, knowing Sirius had a place where he could be himself. He didn't need to used a permanent sticking charm out of spite, but Remus knew these decorations would remain for years to come. As long as Sirius needed a place, the Potters would provide. A mother's love: the muggle permanent sticking charm.

Realizing he'd been snooping in silence, Remus turned his attention to Sirius. He had a funny look in his eyes. "What?" Remus asked.

Sirius just shook his head fondly and sat on the bed. It was rumpled, he hadn't made it today, or maybe he had just crawled out from under the covers. Either way, it made things feel more intimate than if the bed had been made. Something about the physical proof that Sirius existed in this bed.

The atmosphere was getting to be a lot more awkward than Remus had anticipated. In his brain it was just going to be an exchange of greetings and a shag. He forgot to factor in small talk.

Remus perched himself at the end of Sirius' bed. "Did you want to talk about last night?" Remus' eyes shot up at Sirius' words. He was not expecting Sirius to be the one to bring it up. Sirius must have taken Remus' stunned silence as an answer and started rambling, "Or not, that's totally cool, we can pretend that it didn't happen if that's what you want -"

"Is that what you want?" Remus asked, trying not to show that his stomach was currently doing summersaults.

Sirius started picking invisible lint off his duvet cover.

"Sirius, why were you at the door when I got here?" Remus continued.

"I was going to see if you were awake."

Remus started schooching his way up the bed, closer to Sirius. "Well, I am," he said, now sitting beside Sirius, their backs against the headboard.

"I can see that," Sirius teased, bumping his shoulder into Remus'.

The beat of silence was thick. Remus felt a tightness in his chest, he could feel his heart beating.

"It's not what I want." Sirius said, responding to Remus' earlier question.

Remus swallowed thickly. "I -" he started, looking straight ahead, too scared to look over at Sirius. "I don't want to either."

Confessions out in the open, they were back where they started: unsure as to what the next move was.

Remus finally turned his head to look over at Sirius, only to find him already looking back. Eye contact was too much, Remus was having to remind his body how to breath. But he caught Sirius' eyes glance down. It was quick, fleeting, like he was holding himself back, unsure. Remus realized with a start that Sirius might be just that. He didn't know much about Sirius' sex life, just his reputation. Even then, it was only ever girls. Remus knew Sirius liked girls. He knew that Sirius had snogged girls at parties. Did he kiss them during sex or was it just a quick shag? Remus thought back to last night. They hadn't kissed. Hell, they hadn't even looked at each other. He wouldn't have called their hookup intimate. But right now, with the way Sirius was looking at him, how he slowly wet his bottom lip? This was intimate.

Sirius wanted Remus to kiss him. And fuck did Remus want to kiss him too.

Remus angled his body slightly and started leaning in excruciatingly slow. His heart was pounding, he felt like his entire body was shaking. He could feel every cell in his body. There was a knot the size of a tennis ball stuck at his sternum. Remus silently told himself to get a grip, this wasn't his first kiss. Why was he so nervous? They had already fucked for Christ's sake.

And then, as soft as a whisper. The flutter of eyelashes against a cheek. The brush of a small exhale. Remus felt Sirius' lips press nervously against his own. Their lips slotted together, and Remus was delighted to discover Sirius' lips were as soft as they looked. Their lips didn't move, it was just a press. Remus slowly pulled away with a wet sound as their lips detached. Suddenly his blood was flowing again, going straight to his brain. It was a headrush, kissing Sirius. He still felt as if his whole body was vibrating at a low frequency.

Sirius let out a nervous breath, the sound akin to a sigh of relief. Remus noticed that Sirius' hands were shaking where they rested on the bed. The two of them looked up at the same time, making eye contact. The kiss hung between them before they both let out a shaky laugh.

"Have you ever-" Remus asked.

Sirius shook his head. "No. But I've wanted to."

Remus nodded, understanding. There was a different kind of rush from a first queer kiss.

"Can I, uh, - could you - can we -" Sirius started a couple sentences, unsure how to phrase his want.

"I'd really like to kiss you again, if that's what you're asking," Remus provided, holding back a smile. For once in their relationship, Remus was the more experienced one.

Sirius' cheeks reddened slightly. "I'd - yes, yeah."

As the last word was leaving his lips, Sirius leaned in, reaching his hand out to cup the base of Remus' neck and desperately pulled him closer.

The second kiss had a completely different energy than the first. Their mouths moved together messily, trying to find a rhythm. Remus reached out for Sirius' waist and pulled him closer. Sirius' other arm wrapped over Remus' shoulder, melting their chests together. Remus hummed at the contact and Sirius responded by opening his mouth slightly, introducing his tongue to the kiss. Remus gladly accepted.

They continued to explore each other's mouths, and Remus could feel himself starting to get hard. He tightened his grip on Sirius' waist and Sirius let out a slight moan in response. With some shuffling, Sirius lifted one of his legs over Remus' lap and positioned himself so he was straddling Remus.

Remus groaned at the new position and wrapped his arms around Sirius, his hands splayed across Sirius' shoulder blades, pressing him closer. Sirius started needily grinding himself against Remus. Remus was delighted to find out that Sirius was just as turned on as he was and pressed his hips up in time with Sirius' movements.

Remus broke the kiss and began trailing his lips down down Sirius' neck, starting at his jaw, just below his ear. Sirius stretched his neck to the other side to give Remus more access.

"Sorry that I left a mark last night," Remus muttered, his tongue lightly grazing the hickey at the bottom of Sirius' neck, exposed by the stretched out collar of his shirt.

"Shit, Moony, I'm not," Sirius responded with a slight chuckle.

Remus groaned into Sirius' neck and tightened his arms around Sirius. "I'd love to mark you up, let everyone see," he admitted.

"Please," Sirius breathed.

After the go-ahead from Sirius, Remus playfully bit down on a spot just beside the mark from the previous night. Sirius' breath hitched and his nails dug into Remus' back through his shirt. Remus started sucking on the skin until he was certain there would be a deep bruise. Happy with his work, Remus gave it a lick. He moved his hands down Sirius' back until his fingers reached the hem of Sirius' shirt. He gave it a little tug.

"Can I take this off-"

"Fuck, please, yes," Sirius all but begged. Remus laughed lightly and helped Sirius pull the shirt over his head, tossing it away.

Remus paused to drink in the sight of Sirius without a shirt on. There had been an urgency to their actions last night, so much so that the pair had remained half-clothed. It was sexy, sure, being so desperate for each other that they couldn't waste time with removing all their clothes. But this moment was charged with something else. Remus had finally been given permission to look. And oh was it a sight. He had seen Sirius shirtless before, sharing a dorm for 7 years would do that, but he had never looked at Sirius' chest. There were a couple of freckles ghosting his upper chest. Some small, pale scars acquired over the course of their Marauder antics at Hogwarts littered his sides.

Remus placed his hands on the small of Sirius' back and Sirius shivered slightly. Remus gave him a look. "Your hands are cold," Sirius explained with a small laugh.

Remus apologized and started kissing down Sirius' chest, starting between his collar bones. He paused every so often to suck a light mark onto Sirius' chest and was met with a gasping moan each time.

Eventually, Sirius had had enough of Remus' light teasing and started pawing at Remus' shirt. "Take this off, please."

Remus was happy to oblige and quickly pulled his shirt over his head, throwing it to the side. He could find it tomorrow.

Once they were both shirtless, Remus returned his hands to their place on Sirius' back. Sirius wrapped his arms over Reums' shoulders again, pulling their chests flush together, and reattached their lips.

Remus moaned into Sirius' mouth at the contact, loving the feeling of Sirius' chest against his own. Remus had never really been one to pay much attention to nipples, but there was something so deliciously erotic about the feeling of Sirius' hardened buds against his own bare chest.

Desperate for more, Remus trailed his hands along the waistband of Sirius' pyjama pants until they met at the front, right above the drawstrings. He let his fingers wander, lightly palming Sirius through the fabric. Remus made a mix of a gasp and a groan when he could feel that there was nothing else under the sweatpants, just Sirius.

Sirius mewled into Remus' mouth at the contact. Remus took this moment to break the kiss. Sirius' cheeks were flushed, his eyes hooded. Seeing Sirius like this flipped a switch in Remus' brain.

"Fuck," he moaned, closing his eyes, pressing his forehead against Sirius'.

Sirius laughed, an exhale out of his nose. Remus felt it, the air cold on his wet lips. "I think that's the idea," Sirius teased.

Remus couldn't help the smile that formed when Sirius said this. This was uncharted territory in their relationship, yes, but it was still them. It was still just Padfoot and Moony, Remus and Sirius. And of course they were the type that laughed during sex.

"Oh shut it," Remus joked back.

Sirius tugged at the hair at the base of Remus' neck. Remus opened his eyes and pulled away from Sirius slightly, just to get a better look at him. "Make me?" Sirius asked, cocking his head to the side.

Remus suppressed a laugh, "Was that you trying to be sexy?"

Sirius frowned, "Yeah. Or, no? Was it sexy?"

Remus' smile broke free. "Mm, just a little. Needs some work."

Sirius groaned in defeat and pulled away from Remus, dramatically falling backwards on the bed. Remus gazed fondly at his best friend, splayed out on the bed, his messy hair haloed around his head. He really was breathtakingly beautiful. Sirius brought his arms up to his face, crossing them to cover his eyes.

Remus untangled himself from Sirius' legs and leaned over Sirius' chest, caging him against the mattress. He started peppering kisses down Sirius' stomach. Sirius gasped at the contact and went to move his arms away from his eyes. Remus snapped a hand up to hold Sirius' arms in place. "Keep them there," he said into Sirius' skin. Sirius moaned in agreement and Remus let go. "Good boy," he said, recalling the praise from last night. Sirius made a sound in the back of his throat.

When Remus' lips grazed Sirius' waistband, he quickly undid the drawstring and slipped his fingers under the fabric. He gave a little pull as a silent request and Sirius lifted his hips off the bed, allowing Remus to pull down and off the sweatpants, tossing them in the same direction the rest of their clothes had went.

Finally, Remus got a good look at Sirius' naked body. His cock was hard and thick, the swollen head sticky with precum. Remus leaned down and gave the tip a swipe with his tongue, loving the salty taste of Sirius.

"Oh, fuck, please," Sirius moaned. Remus pursed his lips and continued to lower his head, letting Sirius' cock push into his mouth.

Remus continued to lower his lips over Sirius, taking more of him in his mouth as he went. Remus didn't have much experience sucking cock, but he felt that his knowledge of what felt good to him could at least lead him in the right direction. And judging by the sounds coming from Sirius, he was doing something right.

Remus hollowed out his cheeks and started bobbing his head. He pointed his tongue and used it to tease at the underside of Sirius' dick as it pumped in and out of his mouth.

"Fuck, Moony, you're really good at that," Sirius laughed breathily.

Remus flicked his eyes up to look at Sirius, happy to see that he had kept his arms over his eyes in a makeshift blindfold. Sirius' lips were parted, his mouth open in pleasure.

Remus pulled off of Sirius with a pop and Sirius whined at the loss of contact. "Lube?" Remus asked.

Sirius pulled his arms off his face and started to sit up. "If you pass me my wand I can-"

Remus shook his head, "I want to do it myself this time."

Sirius blinked a couple of times before answering. "Oh, fuck - I mean - Merlin, yeah that would be so - in the top drawer, shit-" he groaned and let himself fall back onto the bed.

Remus chuckled at Sirius' fluster and leaned backwards to reach the top drawer of Sirius' bedside table. He grabbed the half-empty bottle and brought it back over to where Sirius lay.

He popped the top and slicked up his fingers. Sirius' eyes tracked Remus' every movement and he spread his legs in anticipation.

"Mm, excited are we?" Remus teased, running his other hand up and down Sirius' upper thigh.

Sirius hummed in response. "I haven't done it this way in ages."

The words went straight to Remus cock. His hand lightly cupped Sirius' balls and his fingers inched closer to Sirius' hole. "Oh?" He asked. Sirius flushed in embarrassment. Remus started to push at the ring of muscles. "Have you fingered yourself, then?" Sirius didn't answer. Remus pushed a single finger inside Sirius. "You have, haven't you?" Remus got all the way to the first knuckle before pausing. Sirius whined in protest. "Come on, you can tell me."

"Yes," Sirius whispered.

Remus smirked. "Sorry, I didn't hear that." He pressed his finger further inside Sirius. Sirius made a sound that was a mix of a moan and a whine. Torn between pleasure and embarrassment.

"Fuck off, I know you did."

"What if I just want to hear you say it again?" Remus asked. Sirius moaned as Remus started pumping his finger. "Will you say it for me? Tell me what you thought about while you fingered yourself."

Sirius shook his head. "'s embarrassing," he said.

Remus added a second finger. "Oh? Now I have to know. Come on," Remus pushed his fingers deeper. "Be a good boy and tell me, yeah?"

"Fuuck," Sirius moaned out, closing his eyes in pleasure. "You, ok? I think of - fuck right there - I think of you."

Remus smirked. He was hoping for that answer. "Yeah? What was I doing? Come on, use your words."

Sirius' cock twitched. "This. I pretended it was your fingers. Stretching me out," Sirius paused. Remus could tell there was more he wanted to say. He started scissoring his fingers, trying to get the rest out of Sirius. "And you were - ah - you were telling me how good I was being for you." Remus added a third finger at the end of the confession.

"See, that wasn't so hard, hmm?" Remus teased, pressing his fingers deeper, searching for Sirius' prostate.

Sirius whined and started wiggling on the bed. "Please, Moony I'm ready, I need you," he begged. While Remus wanted to keep teasing Sirius, his cock was straining in his pyjama bottoms. He was getting to be just as needy as Sirius.

Remus pulled his fingers out of Sirius and tugged off his bottoms, trying not to show how desperate he also was for this.

When his pyjama bottoms and underwear joined the rest of their clothes on the floor, he turned his attention back to Sirius. He was still on his back, half sitting up, propped on his elbows. He had a hungry look in his eyes as he traced over every inch of Remus' body.

Remus gave his cock a couple tugs as he looked down at Sirius. "That's so hot," Sirius moaned.

Remus chuckled and hooked his arms under Sirius' legs and yanked him up the bed. Sirius lost his balance and let himself fall back on the bed. Remus grabbed Sirius by the thighs and spread them so that Sirius' ankles pressed against Remus' shoulders. Remus grabbed the bottle of lube from where it lay discarded on the bed and applied a generous amount to his cock.

He pulled Sirius closer and lined himself up with Sirius' hole. He glanced up to look at Sirius and was struck with the realization of the intimacy of this. This was more than last night. It wasn't just I'm-horny-and-you're-the-cloest-warm-body, this was a purposeful decision for it to be with each other.

Remus met Sirius' eyes. "This still ok?" He asked, just wanting to be sure.

Sirius started nodding eagerly. "Please, yes, more than ok," he rambled.

Slowly, Remus started pushing in. Sirius' eyes squeezed shut. "Fuck, you're so tight," Remus moaned.

"I think you're just huge," Sirius supplied.

Remus accepted the compliment and continued to ease himself into Sirius. "You can take it," Sirius let out a long moan in response.

Remus pressed the last inch of his cock in with a quick thrust, earning another moan from Sirius. "See? I knew you could do it," Remus started slowing pulling out and pushing back in. "Such a good boy," he praised.

"Mmhm, so good," Sirius agreed.

Remus started picking up his pace, loving that he was able to see Sirius' face change in pleasure with each thrust. And after a particularly pointed one, "Oh, fuck yes, right there, do that again Moony, pleeaase."

Remus would never get sick of hearing Sirius beg for more. "Yeah?" He teased, hoping to inspire a more vocal Sirius.

"Yeah, yes," Sirius whined, clenching slightly around Remus.

"You feel so good," Remus groaned, getting lost in the feeling of Sirius.

"Moony?" Sirius asked, and Remus slowed slightly. "I wanna be on top, let me be on top."

Remus' eyes rolled back. "Fuck, yeah," He pulled out of Sirius and sat back on the bed, his back against the headboard. Sirius sat up and crawled up the bed. He put a thigh on either side of Remus and positioned himself over Remus' cock before slowly easing himself down. Remus reached up and pushed back Sirius' hair from where it was stuck to his forehead with sweat. Once fully seated, Sirius reached up to grab the top of the headboard as leverage and began bouncing on Remus, his eyes squeezed shut, mouth open in pleasure.

It was the hottest thing Remus had ever seen. "Fuck, you look so good like this," he said.

Sirius opened his eyes, and Remus stood corrected. This was the hottest thing he had ever seen. Overcome with feelings, he wrapped his arms around Sirius' waist, pulled him closer and hungrily pressed their lips together.

Sirius melted into the kiss. It was sloppy, Sirius was still bouncing up and down. It was more tongue than lips, but it was exactly what they both needed. They needed to be close, connected in every possible way. Remus squeezed his arms tighter around Sirius. Sirius arched his back in response so that his cock was pressed tightly between their chests, getting the friction he so desperately wanted.

Remus broke the kiss but kept their foreheads pressed together. He cast his eyes down to watch Sirius' cock slide between their chests. "Needy little thing, aren't you?" he asked. Sirius mewled in response. Remus let some saliva pool in his mouth before slowly spitting it down, letting it land on the tip of Sirius' cock. Sirius gasped.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuuck," Sirius' bounces started to speed up and lose their rhythm as Remus' spit slicked up his cock. Remus started to thrust up, matching Sirius' movements. "I'm so close," Sirius panted.

"Me too," Remus groaned.

"Kiss me again?" Sirius asked. He didn't need to say it twice. Remus eagerly pressed his lips against Sirius' again. He lightly bit down on Sirius' bottom lip. Sirius gasped and his hands lost their grip on the headboard and fell to Remus' shoulders.

Sirius clamped around Remus again and dug his nails into Remus' shoulders. Remus growled into Sirius' mouth.

"I'm gonna cum, Moony, I -" Sirius pleaded against Remus' mouth.

"Do it, cum for me baby," Remus let the pet name slip out but before he could think too much about, Sirius was babbling out a mix of swears and unintelligible noises, his cock spurting between them.

The feeling of Sirius' cum sliding between them, the rhythmic clenching of Sirius' hole as he came, and the sheer closeness of him was too much for Remus and he came hard and deep inside Sirius. Still desperate for him to be close, Remus tightened his arms around Sirius and pulled him down on his cock in time with his thrusts, ensuring that his cum went as deep as it could.

After they both came down from the intensity of their orgasms, they stayed connected, foreheads pressed together, panting into each others mouths.

Sirius was the first to speak. "Fuck," he sighed. Remus burst out laughing, and Sirius hissed, the laughter making Remus' cock push into him. "Sensitive."

Remus calmed down and apologized. They stayed like that for a moment until the cooling cum on their chests started to get uncomfortable. Sirius peeled himself away and off of Remus, wincing a little. He reached to his bedside table and grabbed his wand, muttering a quick cleaning spell.

He lifted himself off of Remus' lap and rolled himself over so he flopped on the bed beside Remus. He sighed and let out a low whistle.

Remus chuckled and pushed his back off the headboard so he could lay beside Sirius.

On their backs, they turned their heads to face each other. Sirius' cheeks were still flushed, a couple loose strands of hair stuck to his forehead. Remus smiled fondly.

Sirius returned the smile and closed his eyes. "Kiss me again?" He asked softly.

Remus lifted his head off the pillow and leaned over to softly press his lips to Sirius'.

"I've wanted to do that for a while now," Sirius said when Remus pulled away.

"Have sex with me?" Remus asked with a laugh.

Sirius shook his head. "Kiss you." Remus' heart fluttered. He reached out to tuck Sirius' hair behind his ear. "I'd never kissed a bloke before though," Sirius continued, his eyes still closed. "And I didn't want to fuck it up."

Remus moved closer to Sirius on the bed and rolled onto his side to fully face Sirius. "I can promise you that you didn't." He said, pressing another kiss against Sirius' lips. Sirius hummed and rolled on his side, facing away from Remus. He wiggled backwards and snuggled up to Remus.

Remus sat up slightly and reached for the bunched up duvet that was now at the foot of the bed. He pulled it up and tucked himself in with Sirius. He wrapped an arm around Sirius' waist and pressed a kiss to his neck. Sirius hummed.

Neither of them knew what this meant for their friendship. But they could have that talk tomorrow. Right now they just wanted to sleep, content and cozy. Together.