#I'll probably regret posting this
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Okay so I generally try to keep my personal fantasies(?) And stuff more on the private side of things on this page but I gotta get this off my chest before it takes over my entire being.
Lately I've been fantasizing about like 🧍🏻♀️this is embarrassing to admit but sweaty sex and stuff. Like licking sweat off of said partner I'm thinking about or just seeing them sweaty in general. Am I just insane or is this a real fetish/kink thing?
But...this photo didn't help 😍
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I played the beta of Deadlock really late, and my brain decided to put too much effort into this for absolutely no reason at all. Rip my sleep
#art#digital art#shitpost#deadlock#lady geist#ivy#wraith#digital artist#myart#I'll probably regret posting this#video games#artists on tumblr#i dont fucking know#valve games#at least ivy looks nice
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so i recently finished reading a book called Fragments which is a collection of Marilyn Monroe's correspondence and journal entries, lovingly curated and transcribed.
this is from a section (a whole section!) called "kitchen notes." this note in particular is a shopping list (see: "buy"s on the left). and i thought, my god, how awful would it be for someone to publish your scratch notes? for biographers years after your death to interpret and contextualize things you didn't even remember writing down?
anyway i was clearing off my desk just now and found this scratch pad:
here we have:
a list of structural craft concepts (top)
a relatively normal to do list
the equation 20x50=1000, then the unsolved equation 1000/5
a list of tom hardy films and their respective streaming services (middle), during which i apparently discover that the second venom film was not made by disney
another to do list, this one titled "could do" with the advisement to "eat something"
a list of furry conventions and their locations (right)
a list of tags (presumably) including sub drop, suicidal ideation, come eating, mild daddy kink, and degradation (left)
i'll probably never do anything noteworthy enough to be written about, but if i do—good luck, future biographers
#i swear it all makes sense in context#except the math stuff#idk why i wrote that#i know what 20x50 is it's just sometimes i write things down to think them not to solve them#i'll probably regret posting this#norma jeane
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i showed the trey birthday groovy to my friend, and they said they thought he had boobs because of the pillow.
i couldn't unsee it.
so i
...
so i gave him boobs.
if i have to live with this so do all of you 🙂
so uh... happy birthday trey?
#twisted wonderland#trey clover#twst birthday#trey clover birthday#lgbtqia#twst trey#i'll probably regret posting this#this is not meant to seggsualize him btw#it's the way they almost look real that freaks me out
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unrequited love is only fun in fanfic :( definitely not in real life
#I'll probably regret posting this#it's private n personal but idc rn#this has been the worst week of my life#sorry for the negativity#i hope ur all having a better month than me !! love you all loads#sonny speaks#I've never posted personal stuff like this online but there's a first for everything i guess#SORRY FOR BEING SAD ON DASH#I hope no one ever feels this way#EVER !!
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fuck it, i finally found the balls to post about this. this is my warframe drifter OC. his name is Sodom (because i couldn't be assed come up with something original that isn't edgy). he/him pronouns, he's gay and trans ftm. he's 6'2 and built like a brick wall. Cavalero did his top surgery.
here's some drawings of him i did with my subpar artistic skills, this is cringe
#warfame#warframe oc#warframe drifter#oughhg#i'll probably regret posting this#(@blacksuppository) sodom
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you know, I might be Stepping In It, but I really hate people's tendency to "you're lucky" when finding out someone's naturally skinny really piss me off.
I'm not saying there's not privilege to being skinny, there absolutely is in this fatphobic world. But as someone who has spent literally over half my life wishing I could gain any fucking weight ever it makes me so fucking mad. I've tried working out, I've had physically demanding jobs, I've tried, back when i could afford it, eating as much as I could handle. I have literal dysphoria about being skinny.
and then when I Go Off at a coworker for being the second person in a week to tell me I'm lucky- while wearing braces digging into my joints bc I am physically too small to wear them right but they don't get smaller- I'm told "oh but you have to realize we never considered the other side" sure! but I'm still allowed to get pissed! you would be too!
#personal;#i get it i GET IT we're not allowed to talk about skinny shaming.#I know this is nothing compared to what fat people have to go through#I know. I get it. I know.#but it's also so fucking invalidating to have to caveat my every complaint with 'other people have it worse'#like fuck maybe no one should be shamed for their bodies#maybe no one should be making off hand comments and assumptions about weight high OR low#like yeah the movement's not about me and i hate when ableds point out how accessibility can help THEM TOO so like#i get what I sound like#but I'm SO tired. I'm 29 and I've been trying to gain weight since i was like 13-15#I've never even managed to hit 130#I got close and then all my disabilities kept getting worse so then i couldn't work as much#and thus I can't afford food#so what i had built has been burnt#and I'm back to 120 and clinging with both hands to the hope I don't end up back at /115/ (I am 5'7". you can see my ribs)#like. I am NOT lucky. I can't sit or lay on a hard surface bc it hurts my bones#I can't cuddle well when I DO want to bc i'm just sharp bits#my proportions are so fucked that it's hard to find clothes that actually fit#like#I get it#I get what you're trying to say#but it hits trauma (ignored (JOKED ABOUT) eating disorder bc I'm skinny so it's Fine; repeated skinny shaming; etc)#and it's so exhausting not being allowed to be mad about it#If i had three wishes with no downsides the first would be to gain 50-100lbs and i've been saying that for over a decade#I'll probably regret posting this#ask to tag;
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What do you think the dynamic between Sage and Rusty Rose would be?
"I will not share data with the enemy."
"I will not share data with the enemy."
"Alright then, farewell, Rusty Rose."
"Farewell dumb bitch whose name I don't even know."
#thats what would happen right?#idk that was so random this was the first thing i thought of#i'll probably regret posting this#but this is a problem for future marina#rusty rose#sage the ai#amy rose
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This stupid bullshit was brought to you by me seeing a Stanford Pines ass compilation on TikTok and not getting enough sleep this week
I'm so tired
#gravity falls#fanart#my art#ford pines#stanford pines#soos ramirez#stupid bullshit#this is so dumb#soos confidently uses slang he doesn't understand#cause he blanchin#i'll probably regret posting this tomorrow
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my favourite passtime is making up incredibly unaccurate armour designs. That's a lie my passtime is researching but this comes at a close second
#[.art]#is it even armour at this point? it's a chestplate with a mantella over it. It's armour to me. In spirit.#oh I dread to maintag this but my blog has to be organised or I get hives so I am in fact putting this in at least his tag#This was mostly an excuse for me to shade metal and draw armour but he's there as a character base because I wanted to put constellations i#Javert#les miserables#les mis#<- the- what was it. The mortifying ordeal of being known? me when I post art I did for fun in my free time#also this file is called knightvert. You should know this#also I got an answer about the constitution in place in 1820 and I regret to inform you that mister Valjean was probably elected lawfully#mostly because he'd been there for the minimum required year in order to be a citisen and be appointed by the prefect as mayor#or by the double decimal process if we go by 1799 law and not the 1814 charter.#not counting the fake identity but alas I do not believe proof of identity was required by law for that so. Dreadfully not added to the lis#which doesn't exclude entirely document forgery because I believe property law comes into the needing proof of identity?#But I've been looking at french law for three days and I need to not read for a week now So I'll check that later
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Was working on something before I forgot that I can't fucking draw.
Yeah this is what a grown-ass adult's art should look like, this is the quality expected of someone whose been drawing since they could grasp a pencil. This measly scribble is worth 2 days of effort using all my free time.
#I hate myself#not to blog post or anything but my life is so stressful and I think that if I was good at drawing and churning out drawings quickly and#beautifully on the daily/weekly..#If I was like the thousands of foreign 12 year old prodigies on instagram with perfect anatomy on a mere sketch#or the soul-sellers on pixiv uploading 200 fully colored drawings at once#all my problems would be solved.#Im so hateful and it's all towards myself. I'm so painfully envious of things I'll never have...#...like a cock or artistic skill. If I wasn't so scared of not existing (to the point where thinking about it makes me physically ill)#l would have ended my shit already. But here I am.#So take this stupid ugly fucking Shane I tried to draw at midnight after a 10 hour shift. You're here to see bellies-#-not me bitching and moaning. Matter of fact I'll probably delete this part later. Whatever.#What is my fucking problem??#Enjoy what little I'm able to give. All I want is to share my thoughts and ideas and concepts and I can barely even do that.#I think I am going to pass out typing this so uh#see you later when I regret this post and delete this part haha#If I even remember#self post#Drawing#tummy kink#stomach ache#bloated belly
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follow-up to this post with an important amendment: eevee wild cards.
persona q more like persona v(ee)-
#doodles#persona 3#p3#persona 4#p4#persona 5#p5#... i regret my life choices#makoto yuki#minato arisato#kotone shiomi#minako arisato#yu narukami#souji seta#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#joker persona 5#i would've included the oldsona mcs but like. 1) i haven't played p1 or either p2 and don't know a lot about them#and 2) from what i DO know about them. all the party members are wild cards. that would be way too many eevees-#so if i do ever draw them i'll probably make them other pokés#also i have Thoughts™ about this au i don't think i'll really make anything for it but. oughhhhh. i love pokemon‚‚‚‚‚‚#i was thinking this would probably be pmd universe or at least adjacent to it which is part of why i gave yu a ribbon#the investigation team all matches :3 they're not an official team of any kind probably cuz i am leaning more towards pmd adjacent#but still cute :3#this is my first time drawing ren. or any p5 character for that matter-#i hate his hair. i think it's on par with kotone's in terms of sucking to draw#i'm running out of tags. i'll probably post about this more tbh idk if it can really be called an au but. it's a thing#i like drawing pokemons :3 how obvious is it that eevee's the pokemon i draw the most-#okay i'm out of tags after this one. thanks for coming to my tedtalk <3
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Which Greek mythology character would you like to see talked about more?
OHoho. you all already know this.
It's Penelope.
And I am being so fucking serious about it. I'm also sleepy and angry and mother nature is stabbing my gut so I'm putting a lot of my emotions into this ask.
BUT her fangirling, angry, bitchy rant of mine, I will save for the end. (and I'll explain it more down there) Not gonna lie, I will probably be mean. Don't take it too personally. (Some folks I know genuinely love her and have stuff for her. Y'all are fine :D )
I have many other characters I wish would be seen more, but hers rant is ooooh. it's been boiling angrily for a long time and this is the perfect ask to let loose.
Take note: This is more about characters who I feel are either underrated and/or not really given love. It's a whole other can of worms about characters who ARE given a lot of attention but are either fandomized to the point of being unrecognizable or people just...really see them wrong.
Ariadne:
A young princess who helped out Theseus to end the cycle of violence against the youth of Athens. Despite the fact that she was going against her family by helping Theseus she did. When he left her, for whatever reason, she was rescued by Dionysus. In which these two have a loving and healthy marriage. There is so much potential here and it makes me sad that she gets butchered and/or just ignored.
Danae:
She was locked up by her father because of a prophecy that happened anyway. She is now pregnant with Zeus' child. She is then locked into a chest in which she is sent floating in the sea. She washes up on Seriphos. Her son is sent on an impossible quest in order to keep her from a forced marriage. Her story is inspiring and ugh sdkf j badass mama! ;~;
Telemachus:
Got that right here :)
Sthenelus:
Fucking love this lil hotheaded cheerleader man. Go boy, go! He got yeeted by Athena from the chariot. Diomedes and him tell each other that they love each other. Tells off Agamemnon for mocking Diomedes' and his dad. He was a child soldier alongside Diomedes. I love this weird lil guy.
Hephaestus:
It makes me sad how people only see him as the "cuck" of Aphrodite and Ares. (no hate to them. do not hate either of them) He's badass in his own right! He does that bigass fire in the Iliad! And one of my favorite scenes in that epic, is him welcoming Thetis! I think he's neat :D
Hebe:
Ganymede isn't the only cupbearer on Olympus you know.
Menelaus:
I love me a goofy wifeman...But if that's all you see him as, I'm sad. What about the sealy man? (aka him wrestling a god for a while and making him tell him answers) The exiled prince? The younger brother? The angry charioteer who yelled at Antilochus? The man who interfered with his brother's letter to his wife to warn to not bring their daughter? Being the sweet uncle figure for Telemachus? (he and Penelope get a lot of the same treatment in a way. with the whole "just the spouse" ;~; )
Psyche:
I think she's pretty popular, but shout out to her anyway :D Because I love her story a lot.
And last but absolutely not least,
Penelope
Heads up once more, but I'm going to be so fucking mean right now. I'm very tired and runnin on 4 hours of sleep and my tummy hurts. This is all over the place and I'm sad.
I think some of you treat the fact that Odysseus is (rightfully) obsessed with her and adores her as if that's HER personality trait... as while it's adorable to see him simping over her as he does, she's not just there for him (and me) to simp for. In the same vein, I think some of y'all only see her for her love of Odysseus and nothing more. Some folks don't see her as anything more than what she is for Odysseus.
AS IF HER HUSBAND ISN'T JUST AS INTERTWINED WITH HER AS SHE IS WITH HIM!
And yet, there is so much stuff with him about the other people in his life. The other Achaeans, Polites and Eurylochus, Athena, etc. You know Penelope has people in her life other than her husband and her son, right?
Even stuff that's just her, it's usually her weaving the shroud...That still ties back to Odysseus. If you wanna have her weave, maybe have her weave something happily. Maybe her chatting with Anticlea or Athena while she does! Or Helen! or her sister!
There's the saying of "the characters respect women but the author does not" and I'm noticing that a LOT in this fandom. I don't think it's intentional, but it's very telling with what people prioritize in their creations how they feel. (and no, I'm not talking about Homer. He wrote incredible women.)
I'm not saying you're not allowed to have favorites. But even if Odysseus IS your favorite, if you have Penelope so one note or with such weak characterization while having so much for Odysseus, FOR THE MEN WHO HE IS NEAR... It's just really telling.
I've even seen some shit with "Well, there's not much to do with her." as if y'all don't make OCs with less. I've seen people give Astyanax, an AU baby, more characterization than her. (Have him alive in your AUs but if you give him more character than Peenlope, I am side-eying you so hard.)
It genuinely pisses me off how overlooked she is. I hate how her tags are basically empty (honestly? I might start tagging my silliness for her correctly because it has so lil.)
Hey, why do followers of the other tags show up but not for #penelope of ithaca? It's clearly because she has SO many followers/fans that she broke tumblr! Especially with the fact that you can scroll all the way to the bottom pretty quickly! /sarcasm
(btw, before you say something, I know there's no consistent tag for Penelope. I follow many of them. #penelope odyssey is kind of the best bet I believe. #penelope of sparta is mostly about that new show that's coming out and hyping about it. still not about HER. #penelope mostly has some bridgerton character. so yeah. Not much on tumblr)
(shoutout to the artists who got their art on front of the tag! That's exciting! I'm being a mean bitch right now but that's fun and exciting!)
I hate how people see her as so one-note. I hate how she's often just "Odysseus' wife". MOST CONTENT OF HER IS HIM SIMPING OVER HER. (that's something I'm guilty of too! I plan to fix that soon. I have so many wips and so lil time and too high of personal standards because since she has so little content of her, I WILL make it good. I'll TRY to make it good.)
EVEN HEADCANONS! SO MUCH OF FANDOM STILL ONLY HAS HEADCANONS THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ODYSSEUS OR TELEMACHUS. GIVE ME SOMETHING ABOUT HER CHILDHOOD. GIVE ME LIL QUIRKS SHE HAS. What does she struggle with? What's her favorite color? Does she like dancing? ANYTHING.
Feelings about how fandom sees her are also summed up by this and this. (Edit: This one too. She's not even dead in the Odyssey but people act like she doesn't exist until Odysseus is there.)
...Do you see my problem? Just one of my problems?
So many people genuinely read the Odyssey and just see her as the "crying wife". People diminish her character and her intelligence all the fucking time. You wanna know something I've noticed? PEOPLE ONLY TALK ABOUT HER INTELLIGENCE WHEN ODYSSEUS IS THERE. Like with how she tricks him and how she tricks the suitors. Nobody talks about the moment when Athena appears as her sister in her dream and she is immediately like "hey, if you're some god, is my husband still alive?" she clocks her as Athena RIGHT AWAY.
People constantly forget her violent thoughts against the suitors! Or when she sasses Telemachus and Euryclea. When she scolds and threatens the maids. (she's not always nice y'all!) Do you really think Odysseus would be obsessed with someone who isn't on his level?
We all know that he loves her. BUT WHY?! "Because she's smart like him." Yeah, we know. WHAT ELSE?
They are Likeminded! Thinking and acting alike! You know how fun that is?!
Homer, you absolute mad lad genius. You made her a mystery to the narrator, Odysseus, and for some reason, people see that as her just being a straight up mystery. You wrote her so wonderfully and so complex with how she is so sneaky in her own way that people are literally tricked by her as readers as well!
Or sadly, more likely, people fucking blackout when she's in the scene and there's no Odysseus. 🙄
Look, even if you have Penelope be the "braincell" who keeps her husband in line, MAKE SURE SHE'S NOT ACTING LIKE ODYSSEUS' FUCKING MOM. They're both grown ass adults for fuck's sake!
Also...please...PLEASE have her be more than a prop for the men around her. I've read some things that could literally have her be replaced by Euryclea, as Penelope is sometimes just used as a sounding board.
I'll be even more bitchier. Even in the OT3 she's commonly in. It wasn't a NOTP until I noticed most creations of that ship was just "Odysseus and this person for 6000+ words... Oh, and Penelope making an appearance in the footnotes." If it's an OT3, they all love each other right? Where's the PenDio fics/art, cowards?
I have a weird theory about how people treat her that way. (other than fandom prioritizing men)
So there's "girlbossing" and "uwu sad victim" that fandom can never seem to leave. I think People do this with Helen and Clytemnestra and that's why THEY are "blorbo-able". (not saying they shouldn't be but they definitely get more love than Penelope)
Helen, despite not always being a victim in her story, has been through so much. Kidnapped and some people blame her for it (irl and some people in canon do blame the war on her). Very easy to cling to. I cling to her too! (she's on the "UwU always victim. tragic blorbo" end)
Clytemnestra, is a victim in the sense that she's a grieving and angry mother and wife. And so she killed Agamemnon. Her violence and anger is seen as "girlboss" despite all the horrible stuff she also did to her children. (she's more on the "girlboss" end)
Penelope, is not a victim to the same degree as Helen nor does she murder anyone (how could she? it was 108 people against her and the Odyssey shows that the suitors' parents were enraged. Even Odysseus was skeptical he could beat them.)
She's not on either end of the "scales" for people to find her "blorbo-able". She doesn't murder her husband or the suitors by herself or is a victim to them in the same way Helen is.
And that's just for people who know her husband didn't cheat. I think with people who think Odysseus did cheat, they hate her because "she let it slide". That she's "weakwilled" for knowing her husband went through literal hell and wanting him to be happy and safe.
Idk, It's a little lonely being one of the few "Penelope crazy" blogs.
I sometimes wonder if people kind of come to my blog in a "Hey, can you love her for me? Can you think about her for us?" as I have seen very little on her childhood for example. It's STILL mostly in relation to others.
It's not even the "sharing ideas" that bugs me. it's the feeling of people not wanting to come up with headcanons/ideas for her OUTSIDE of canon.
"She was in Helen's shadow." Okay, well, how did she feel about it? What did she do about it? Did she hide away? Did she internalize that? Did she find that freeing? To not be the center of attention?
Stuff like that. Dive DEEPER. PLEASE
It makes me happy that people love my Penelope as I love her too, clearly. But I really fucking hope you love the CANON Penelope too. If you think I made Penelope "better" or anything like that, then leave. She's already fantastic on her own.
I want to talk about her more. I want her to be seen more.
#lol so pathetic that I'm all weepy about this right now. fucking hormones and cramps and bullshit#I'm allowed a few mean sad rants right?#I'll probably regret this later. as I know I'm swatting a hornet's nest#this is like. a fandom in general rant. like people do this to other female characters too#I almost want the Penelope part to be it's own post? because I think it's important. at least to possibly make people just...SEE her.#i dont know#penelope of ithaca#Mad rambles#shot by odysseus#my headcanons#ask#anon#penelope#Water Wife#<-I love my Water Wife but I sometimes regret it. As I think some people actually think it's the only way she can be interesting.#when she's interesting without it. at least y'all SHOULD be thinking of her like that.#penelope of sparta#Mad rants#essay#odyssey
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(@annymation @emillyverse @kstarsarts @mythartist21 @tumblingdownthefoxden @oh-shtars @chillwildwave @rascalentertainments @signed-sapphire @gracebethartacc @spectator-zee) Random questions are coming to my mind again instead of concentrating on doing my things sooooo here's my question for the wish rewrite fandom (sorry if I forgot to tag someone, you can still answer if you want or not) How would our coexistence be like if we lived in the same house? I know the question may be a bit strange but I think funny situations can arise, I honestly don't know if you guys would tolerate me lmao, I tend to be a bit messy so it occurs to me that things like this could happen:
*arriving late to who nows where*
Yup! this would probably happen and many times lmao
#I don't know why these questions keep coming to me#I'll probably regret posting this later but it doesn't matter lol#random asks#random art#random idea#random post
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mending wounds (work in progress)
#i honestly don't know if i'll ever finish this#but i like the idea so i suppose i might as well post a wip of it#i'm probably gonna regret posting this later since i have huge perfectionism issues#oh god#vylance#minecraft diaries#mcd#aphmau#work in progress#laurance zvahl#vylad ro'meave#anka art#my art
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Ajin Week 2023 Day 1: Black Matter
Almost a whole month late to Ajin week but...hahaha heyyy...
#ajin#ajinweek23#izumi shimomura#my art#wibbleart#rambles in the tags#I WILL TRY TO CATCH UP#had finals and then my hand decided to protest against all that typing and got sore.....#i have art planned out but i might just save the idea and do them later#will be posting the days out of order tho#so many amazing pieces its so wonderful to see the characters so loved#have lots q'ed#drip feeding to not spam looool#i keeping doing this thing when i do trad art where i see smth wrong before inking and just go AWWW NOT A BIG DEAL AND INK ANYWAY#AND THEN REGRET NOT FIXING IT#IT ALWAYS HAPPENS BRO JUST FIX IT#'i'll probably regret this' *regrets it*#silly goose#anyway her face is kind slanted sdkfndsjkf#im sorry queen
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