#I'll probably have more thoughts tomorrow
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Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 114 (A Winterfest to Remember?)
The events of this post occurred leading up to and during Winterfest (Generation 2 parts 99 to 102)
As Winterfest approached, Nicola and her brother Dominic allowed themselves to reminisce about holidays with their father. The spirit of the season had begun to infect them, and their gloomy hearts were beginning to open up to the spirit of the season.
Hazel woke late and came downstairs - she'd been at the Gnome's Arms until the early hours of the morning, and Nicola wondered how she could be so chipper. "Morning!" Hazel said, but the number of good mornings between them had dwindled. "Are we all ready for Wicked Winterfest Movie Night at the pub?"
"You've been home for five hours and you already want to go back?"
Hazel shot an annoyed glance at her wife. "We've been going to Wicked Winterfest every year since high school."
"Midnight Massacre 3 is barely even a Winterfest movie."
"It takes place on Winterfest Eve!"
Nicola sighed. "I just don't feel up to it this year. Don't you want to stay in and watch something less gory? My mom said she'd bake her chocolate chip cookies."
"River, Cass, even my Dad said they'd be there tonight. It's a tradition. I have to go."
"You don't have to go."
"Well, you don't have to stay home."
Hazel left for work in a foul mood. While she and the mayor canvassed in Finchwick that afternoon, he stopped to talk with her near the village green.
"Is something wrong, Hazel? You haven't been applying yourself to the job as much lately as you did when you started."
"I like my job, Mayor Varner, but I'm not sure this is what I want to be doing. It's a lot of administration and I don't know if I'm making a difference."
The mayor smiled warmly. Taking the reins of a town like Henford was rarely a stressful job, but Mayor Varner was kind and unflappable. "Enjoy your time off over the holidays, and give your future some thought. We can talk more about it in the new year."
Hazel met her family in the upstairs den of the Gnome's Arms, where every Winterfest they played slasher flicks for those who appreciated a little subversion from the usual cozy celebrations. Her sister-in-law, Cassandra, was delightful and charming but also a little gloomy from time to time, and she loved this tradition as much as Hazel.
"Midnight Massacre 3 never gets old. It's a Winterfest classic!" she gushed, too excited to sit down.
Hazel stayed out late for another night, chatting into the early hours with fellow local horror fan, Elsa Bjerg-Watson. She lived in Old New Henford with her parents, Bjorn and Clara, her wife Maira, and their daughter Jada, but she said the family had just made room for her niece, who had moved to Henford from San Myshuno.
"Suri broke up with her girlfriend a few months ago and she needed a change of scene. My mother's the best professional baker this side of Simlandia - even she knows she'll never match Noemi Alegria in Tartosa - but Suri wants to be as good as her grandmother someday."
"If Suri's cakes are as good as Clara Bjergsen's, I'll be her best customer," said Hazel.
The next morning was Winterfest Eve, and Nicola's mom, Kim, made chocolate chip cookies. She probably missed Eddie's presence at their holiday celebrations even more than her kids, leaving the cookies on the kitchen table before heading upstairs to cry it out in her room.
Hazel joined her wife in the kitchen and made a beeline for the cookie platter. "Did you want to head over to my parents tomorrow in the morning to open presents, or did you want to open presents together here?"
"We want to open our presents on Winterfest Eve this year because Dad always liked opening them before bed."
Hazel shrugged. "Okay, great. Then tomorrow we can go over in the morning for presents with my family, too."
"We want to go for a walk to see the wildlife on Winterfest morning. Dad loved living out here for the wild foxes and bunny rabbits."
Hazel didn't mind Henford's picturesque forests, bunnies, and birds, but they could walk through Isle of Volpe Park any day of the year. "I'd really like to go over to see my family in the morning."
"You're with them all the time," she said. "Why not make time for me?"
"Nic, I'm sorry you lost your dad, but he wouldn't want you to mourn him this long. He loved you too much to see you so sad. But when I'm home you're grading papers."
"You don't know what my Dad would have wanted, Haze. And seriously, when are you home?"
"I'm home right now and we're fighting again!"
Nicola and Hazel finally heard themselves and grew quiet, but a bitterness had long ago started to fester.
Hazel spent Winterfest Eve and most of Winterfest Day with her family, not her wife. She gushed over Heather's new engagement ring, and wouldn't let her own relationship troubles dampen her excitement for her big sister.
Hazel lingered outside a while before sunset. She hoped to delay going home just a little longer, in favour of a cozy celebration with her family. Like old times. She finally turned to leave when her phone buzzed with a text from Nicola.
Come meet me by the rink. Please.
Henford's local ice rink was just across the laneway from her childhood home on Cobblebottom Street, and she met her wife next to the ice with a kiss.
"I'm sorry I've been so hard to live with lately," said Nicola with a sheepish smile. "I don't let myself get sad about my dad, but holding it in makes me angry. I know I need to talk to someone for me as much as we need to talk to someone for us. But I love you, and I want to make us work."
"I want that, too."
With the sunset providing a picture-perfect backdrop to a tense Winterfest season, Hazel and Nicola found a way to end Winterfest with a cozy celebration at the ice rink, after all.
Could their blissful moment last, and would they make time for counseling as intended? ->
<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 2.1 Summary
Gen 1 Start | Gen 1 Summary
In case you're wondering why this is such a sad arc already, Nicola's grief moodlets say it is:
#sims 4#sims 4 gameplay#sims 4 screenshots#sims 4 legacy#sims in bloom#ts4#ts4 gameplay#ts4 legacy#ts4 screenshots#sims 4 story#ts4 story#legacy challenge#sims legacy#ts4 legacy challenge#gen 2#henford on bagley#cozy celebrations#cassandra goth#kim goldbloom#elsa bjergsen#flashback
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Did some stuff today, first thing was fixing that Roper model I made in this UE thingy.
I ended up taking screenshots of him doing dumb expression and I could not stop giggling, just... look at them
heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp
Me when I am about to punch Rennick in the face after he tells me "no" (I can't stop giggling, look at his face)
Roper has went insane.
I accidentally made him do this pose, I.... I can't take Roper serious anymore I'm.. I'm gonna banish him into the pontoons. Roper STOOOOOO-
I think the ears aren't perfect but other than that.. His head looks almost identical to the concept one. But how do I make this Roper look like ingame Roper- But I firstly have to figure out how to convert the file you can export. Oh jeez...
I'll try to focus some more on other characters soon, since some folk were curious about Brodie and Raffs. It just gets increasingly confusing the more info or tiny details I discover
I am still trying to puzzle Roper's lore. Something new I understood, while you are in MC one of his audio files shows he's muttering Rennicks name, you can barely understand it. But he's saying something like "Rnnick/Rennck" Or in the deleted MC audio you hear him in the backround uttering Rennick names a ton of times, while once saying "enough.... Rennicke" I'm not sure what this points towards.
After the helicopter crashes the roof of MC gets damaged, but that's the only visible damage. But Roper is such a mess in there. But if mutated Rennick would go in this room it would look worse. So he probably wasn't in there? Yet? Nothing else inside this room hints at anything.
Ok this thought just popped up as I am typing this, say the helicopter crashes and hits MC, this is where everything inside the room shakes.. We see chairs fell down and some stuff is not in place. The chair Roper was sitting in is also tilted.... say, the moment the helicopter hits MC, Roper looses balance on his chair and mutates...? I mean I have no other explanation for this? You can't hear his voice at aaaall while you get chased by infected Rennick. I hear other voices in the audio files of Admin, but not Roper.
It must be one reason he wasn't at the helictopter, maybe he felt unwell and didn't stop Rennick. Perhaps he tried to tell Rennick that his behaviour is unacceptable, hence why saying "Enough Rennick"
SURELY he got something on himself when the explosion happened, I have no other explanation what happened. He keeps babbling Rennick's name, as if he's stuck in something.
Also look what I finally figured out
I have the metahuman inside UE5 now hueheuheuheuheuehuehueheuheuheuehuehuehuehueheuheuehuehuehueheuheuehuehueheuheuheuehuehueheuheuheuehuehueheuheuheuehuehueheuheu *keyboard smashing*
I could animate him.... I can finally try to learn animation through my obsession *explodes in joy*
How to export him into blender is another challenge, but for now this is good enough! I can work with this. This could also help me with Rennick but I'll see about that in January! I'm frigtened to start modding dear god
Ok, enough of my rambling, I should really pack my stuff, I'm heading to my friend tomorrow for christmas, I have done nothing but swtd shenanigans
Maybe I'll tag this too, is a big discovery
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written in lucky stars
synopsis 。。。rindou doesn't know what to do with all the origami stars you give him. he doesn't have the heart to throw them away, so he buys a jar to hold them when the stars—and memories—start piling up.
contents: rindou x fem!reader, childhood friends, perceived unrequited love, death & grief, unnamed illness, non-linear
playlist
note: girl i don't even know if rindou is still in character throughout the story, i just started vomiting words. hope you guys will still like this tho lol
𖤐 "hi rindou! i wonder if you'll even read this. if you see this, say 'star' tomorrow when we meet."
"what's this?" rindou gave you a puzzled look, eyes darting between you and the small origami lucky star in your palm.
"a star," you answered him innocently, making him deadpan at you.
"obviously, i know that." he rolled his eyes. "i just meant... what's it for?"
"it's not for anything," you trailed off, his words making you think. you couldn't let him find out you wrote something on the inner parts of the folded paper star. it'd be more fun if he found out himself, you thought. "i just made it and wanted to give it to someone. you're the only person i can think of."
rindou's gaze returned to the star. he's definitely seen them before—probably in kindergarten or elementary school, but he's never actually received one. you were gifting it to him, he understood that much. so he took it from you, albeit hesitantly.
not because he didn't want it, he just didn't know what to do with it.
"you can throw it away later if you want," you said, as if hearing his thoughts.
there's no way rindou could do that though.
rindou kept the star in his pocket. when he returned home that day, he pursed his lips at the sight of the now flattened star. he was just glad it didn't tear. he placed the star on his desk, not sparing it another thought.
the next day came, and rindou never said the word "star."
—
𖤐 "so you didn't open the star to read it? aw. i wonder what would happen if i said i liked you."
a week passed since the first star you handed him. you had accepted that he either threw it away or just didn't read it. you supposed rindou wouldn't be the type to think, "i wonder if anything is written in this tiny origami star. i should unfold it and find out." so really, what were you expecting?
perhaps giving him another star would get him curious?
"here." you pushed your hand towards him when you met him by the school gates.
"another one?" he raised an eyebrow at you, taking out one of his earphones.
you chuckled, "get used to it. i'll give you one when..." you trailed off, and rindou looked at you expectantly. "whenever i feel like it!"
he sighed, taking the star from you wordlessly before heading to class. every now and then, he'd glance over his shoulder—just to make sure you were still walking with him.
nothing interesting happened the next day. you gave him another few days, and there was still nothing. it seemed he didn't know about what you wrote... or did he find out, but he was just purposely ignoring it?
oh well, there was no point in dwelling on it. the world kept spinning.
—
𖤐 "third time's the charm. i'm getting bullied again by takeo and his friends lately."
you, in fact, were not getting bullied by takeo and his friends.
the last time it happened was years ago. it wasn't as if you were lying for rindou's attention, but you wanted confirmation that he absolutely never opens these paper stars. you knew for sure he'd give some kind of reaction if you mentioned takeo.
the memory was almost clear as crystal. origami papers on your desk, takeo sitting in front of you, lunch break, a half-empty classroom, and no teachers around.
throughout elementary school, takeo had always been a bully and a tease to whoever he felt like targeting. you weren't a special case to him, he just didn't like the way you always sat quietly, playing with the toys you made out of origami papers.
takeo tore your origami papers because he felt like doing it. he crushed your paper cranes because he felt like doing it. he crumpled them and threw them in your contorted face because he felt like doing it. he laughed at the tears you tried to hold back because he just felt like doing it.
unfortunately for him, rindou pushed him to the ground because, well, he felt like doing it.
you didn't even know who rindou was at the time. he was in the same year but different class, though you've heard about his brother, haitani ran—your senior. not long after rindou had pushed takeo to the floor and stomped on his hand, ran came strolling in to your class.
"nice, rindou." he grinned widely at his younger brother before they both turned to you. "takeo's so lame, isn't he?" ran said, picking up the paper crane takeo crushed earlier.
you were unresponsive, which was fine—they weren't really expecting anything. while ran didn't think to do any more for you than give you a tissue to wipe your tears with, rindou couldn't help eyeing your torn origami papers.
"let's go, rindou. you'll be late for your next class," ran reminded him, making his way out. he stopped in his tracks when he noticed rindou wasn't budging.
"your papers..." rindou muttered under his breath, but it was coherent enough for you to hear. ran watched for a moment before he decided to head out first.
"it's okay. i can still use them." you sniffled, rubbing your nose a little before taking a torn piece of origami paper.
"how? you can't make birds with that, right?" he tilted his head. "it's way too thin."
he watched as you grabbed a pair of scissors from your pencil case. when you started cutting the strip of paper to make it slightly thinner, rindou tilted his head in confusion. but before he can say anything, you had began folding. you made a knot and created a small pentagon shape, wrapping it over and over until there was not enough paper left to fold. the real magic happened when you used your fingers to pinch at the points of the pentagon, puffing up its shape to create a star.
that day after classes came to an end, rindou had used some of his pocket money to buy you a new set of origami paper.
—
𖤐 "i always thought you looked cool playing basketball, y'know? i'm just too shy to tell you. i also like when you sit next to me after you're done playing."
rindou noticed the star is a lot... puffier than usual. unbeknownst to him, it was just because you had more words to write at the time.
sweat trickled down rindou's forehead as he gulped down half of the water from his bottle. the puppy sticker you had pasted on it a long time ago was still there, it's a little faded—probably from all the washing it's been through. seeing it always warmed your heart, and you couldn't help but tease him about it sometimes.
"why don't you just scrub it off? it's hanging by a thread at this point," you questioned him. rindou exhaled deeply as he put down the bottle, panting slightly.
"i don't know. it's just there." he shrugged and you huffed at his dry response.
"seriously? i thought you didn't like that sticker."
"i never said that," rindou denied almost immediately. "did it... seem that way?" he added, his hesitance made you laugh.
"so you like the sticker? is that why you kept it?"
"no."
"then why do you keep it?"
rindou sighed, almost groaning at your questions. "i dunno, okay? it just won't come off," he claimed as he stuffed his towel and water bottle into his bag. "now, get up. i'm walking you home."
you followed him suit in silence for a while, a small smile lingering on your face. "i saw you finally scored a three-pointer, by the way."
rindou flashed you a cocky grin. "yeah? looked cool, right?"
"hm, i think you looked cooler when i saw you missing three shots in a row in your backyard."
"oh, shut up. why were you even at my place yesterday?"
"i wanted to try your mom's cookies."
—
𖤐 "it's getting a little hard to breathe, rin. i don't maybe it's 'cause you're so breathtaking!"
rindou never really liked it when you walked tailing behind him. he felt more at ease when you were beside him instead, even better if you were on the inner part of the sidewalk.
at times, he'd find you walking slow—too slow for his liking. there were normally two reactions to this. the first, he would grab your wrist and pull you with him. rindou didn't need to do it too hard, he just wanted to make sure you were still with him. the second, he would simply let you, but not without looking back to check every now and then. it usually happens when you were strolling around the neighbourhood. he hid it well whenever he worried about you, but why he felt that way to begin with was a question mark to even himself.
he always tried to convince himself that it's just because you were a klutz, but it didn't feel entirely right.
as time went on, you grew close enough for him to tease and play around with you more. in a friendly way, of course. he was always careful not to take things too far. after all, he didn't want to be one of the reasons for your tears.
so when you were walking particularly slow one day—your three steps equating to his one single step, rindou purposely walked faster. you were just in the neighbourhood, so he wasn't worried about anything bad happening.
"bet you can't catch me!" he called out, a cocky grin stretching from ear to ear.
and you really did try.
you could still run. you could still run fast enough to catch up to rindou's speed-walking, but his speed-walking turned to running. you knew you couldn't be as fast as him, but you didn't think you'd have to stop so soon to catch your breath.
your hands had found your knees as you bent, head pounding slightly. concern flashed across rindou's face when he could no longer hear your footsteps. when he came rushing back to you, you gave him a grin.
"i know better than to try you in a race, rindou. you'd surely win!" you laughed. you laughed, but rindou felt unsettled.
he blinked at you, handing you his water bottle. "here," he said, and you blinked at him too. rindou urged you to take it as he nodded.
you took the half-empty bottle in your hand, eyeing it hesitantly. twisting the cap open, you tilted it for a sip, pressing your lips against the spot where his had just been. the thought immediately spread warmth across your cheeks, contrasting the cool liquid traveling down your throat.
he was blushing too, but you wouldn't know with his back turned to you. "don't stay up too late. you need the energy if you wanna keep up with me."
rindou held your hand for the first time that day, and he didn't let go until you returned home.
—
𖤐 "i told myself i'd confess after we graduated junior high, but i guess i haven't changed. i'm still a coward."
by the end of junior high, rindou's jar was starting to pile up with all the paper stars you gave him. he had bought it when he received his tenth star. it wasn't a big jar so it didn't take long to fill—it was almost full and rindou had lost count of how many you'd made.
you were also spending an awful lot more time at his place than usual, and even started getting along with ran better.
by the end of junior high, you made a decision to tell him. tell him that you like him, straight to his face. it's clear that he never unraveled any of the stars to read the tiny letters written on them, so you thought, it's about time you told him soon.
and yet, the words never came out.
"i..." you said, trying to ignore his expectant look. "i hope we do well in high school together," you blurted out instead of your confession, preparing yourself for rindou's laughing fit over how corny you were being. his laughs never came out.
instead, he nodded. he simply nodded.
"you gonna give me another star?" he asked. he began to expect it now, the origami lucky stars.
you broke into a fond, gentle smile at his words. your right hand went down to your blazer's pocket, fishing out a paper star. slightly bigger than the ones you usually gave him.
"the strip of paper was thicker for this one. it's a special day after all." you chuckled, placing the star on rindou's already outstretched hand.
—
𖤐 "i miss you a lot, rindou. but you shouldn't miss me too much, okay? hehe <3"
rindou had no idea he'd be going to high school without you.
he remembered you clearly telling him you'd go to the same school as him. well, you more so implied it. your idle chatter with rindou normally took place at school during break, or after school when you're sitting on the bleachers before heading home together, but also on his rooftop whenever the weather was good enough to stargaze under.
"i'm not so excited for high school," rindou had said one time, making you tear your gaze away from the sparkling night sky.
"why?" you questioned and he deadpanned at you.
"maths will be harder, obviously." his response elicited a laugh from you.
"you'll be fine! i'll pay extra attention in class and take notes for us to go over together," you reassured him.
but here you were, nowhere to be seen.
he only got the news about you transferring schools after the semester started. admittedly, he was a little bit pissed. could you not have told him beforehand?
rindou couldn't be upset for too long though. you still visited his house every week and as usual, you gave him a star.
and as usual, he'd never unfold them. as usual, they went straight to his jar.
every week turned to every day—you were always with him, always coming over to his place after his classes ended. even rindou didn't have all that free time, but you were okay with it. most days, you preferred to lie in his bed and do nothing, maybe fall asleep for a while. you rarely wanted to go out and do anything now, claiming that you just wanted to hang around here.
when he asked you why, your answer was something along the lines of, "i like it better here." and it never failed to alarm him.
you always refused to tell him any more than that.
—
the last time you came over to his place, there were plenty of moments when rindou thought you were acting weird.
the first instance was when he was in the bathroom, you were inside his mom's bedroom while she was cooking in the kitchen. he would know, because just as he was coming out, you came out of the room at the same time. rindou always thought it was an unspoken rule to not go into each other's parents' bedrooms because it was... odd, yet you were acting like you did nothing of the sort.
the second weird thing you did was hug his brother. even ran didn't have the slightest idea of what was going on, but he played along smoothly, teasing you for "preferring him over rindou."
rindou couldn't even bring himself to be jealous. he couldn't bother himself with asking why ran got to hug you first and not him. he especially couldn't when you immediately retreated to his room after eating dinner with him and his family at the table. you've been in his room before though, so that wasn't the weirdest part.
the weird part was when you grabbed him by the arm and pulled him down onto the bed with you.
you were laughing the hardest he's ever heard you laugh in the past few months. "look at your face, it's so red!" you may have laughed too hard though, and you started coughing a little bit.
"quit it, what the hell are you doing?" rindou exclaimed, flustered. he meant for his words to come out lightheartedly, but fell silent when he realized his tone was a bit too harsh for his liking.
despite that, the smile you wore remained unwavering.
you nuzzled your head into his chest, wrapping your arms around his waist. "can we stay like this for a while?" you asked, and instead of an answer, he wordlessly draped a blanket over both of your bodies before snuggling a little closer.
"what's up with you today, hm?" rindou questioned, his eyes becoming droopy and his words a little slurred.
"nothing. just missed you," you answered, closing your eyes.
"you saw me yesterday."
"i wish i could see you every day though."
rindou raised an eyebrow. "but you have been coming over every day," he said, and you chuckled at his words.
"i might not get to do this all the time, y'know? what if i make plans or have other places to be in?"
that much is obvious, rindou thought as he pursed his lips. your words had sent him deep into thought, and he found himself imagining things he didn't want to think about. his pounding heart took over his senses for a moment.
rindou is a teenager after all, so the thought had finally crossed his mind that day—is this what it was like to have someone special to you? to hold them close, walk with them hand-in-hand, and feel the need to shield them from anything that would harm them? to want them to stay in your life forever?
you both had fallen silent, it remained that way for a few minutes. the only thing you could hear was the sound of each other's soft breathing. rindou had wondered if you were thinking of him too, the way he thought of you.
"you didn't give me a star today."
your eyes fluttered open at his words to look up at him. he had a neutral expression on, but in your mind, he kind of resembled a wet puppy.
"did you want one?" you teased, a grin appearing on your face when he rolled his eyes.
"you started giving me one every day these past few weeks," he said, jogging your memory. "and you haven't given me one today, so i was just wondering."
"aw, so you noticed." your hand found its way to his cheek. rindou visibly froze and reddened at your gesture, and his eyes widened when your gaze travelled down to his lips. "i might have... something better than a paper star," you whispered, leaning closer to softly press your lips against his.
he was wide-eyed when you kissed him, your hand slightly cold against his cheek. but rindou quickly melted into the kiss once he'd processed what you were doing. tilting his head and placing a hand behind your head, he deepened the kiss and let out a sigh of contentment.
you were acting weird again, he thought. but maybe you really were better than paper stars.
perhaps it was the thrill of having his first kiss, but he found himself looking forward to seeing you again after you left.
much to his dismay, rindou wouldn't hear from you again since that day.
—
everything feels blurry now.
rindou doesn't respond when spoken to, not even when people tell him that they're "sorry for his loss." even when your mother had gasped earlier upon finding out that he had no idea about your illness, all rindou could do was nod or shake his head, as though words had abandoned him completely. his expression so lifeless, you'd think the funeral was for him.
the words are barely coherent as your mother explains what happened to you. again, all he could do was nod. wordlessly. absentmindedly. he's in another world, forcing ran to do all the talking and responding for him.
rindou hates seeing the way you look right now. laying in the cramped casket when you should be lying next to him on his bed. your hands placed on your stomach when they should be cupping his cheeks. and your eyes closed when they should be looking into his, letting him admire the way they glimmer. the thought that they would look hollow if pried open now sends a chill down his spine.
he's known for most of his life that everyone's time would come eventually, inevitably. to be human means to be impermanent. to have life, death needed to coexist. he knows all of that already, but why? why did your time have to come so quickly? why couldn't he know about this sooner?
did you disappear for a week to prepare him for this exact moment? to prepare him for a life without you? he wonders hopelessly.
just when things start to become clearer, just when he figures out that you're the person he wants in his life, everything becomes muddy again. what was he supposed to do now? the thought of moving on felt impossible at this moment, couldn't he just go with you?
your mother approaches him with a small drawstring pouch in her hands. she doesn't say anything at first as she simply opens the pouch, and rindou feels slightly more grounded upon seeing its contents.
more origami stars.
"rindou," your mother speaks up. "y/n wanted me to give these to you, and she wanted you to do something with them."
—
rindou fishes out the pouch from his pocket before taking his blazer off in a hurry, discarding it somewhere in his room. he sits down at his desk, opens the pouch, and dumps all of the paper stars out in front of him. he goes over them for a while, recalling your mother's instructions.
"save the purple star for last."
picking out the purple-coloured star, he sets it to the side. rindou takes a random star and begins unraveling the origami.
he's met with words you had written with a black pen. though your handwriting was legible enough to read, he couldn't understand the message. his eyebrows furrow as he mumbles the words to himself.
𖤐 "doesn't she sound cute? she loved to stargaze like we did!"
rindou frantically opens another star, but is careful not to rip it.
𖤐 "i saw that lucky stars are usually gifts to symbolize good luck, love, and support."
he grows even more confused. were you seriously leaving him behind with a puzzle to solve?
𖤐 "did you know? the origins of lucky stars began with a tale of a girl named hoshi."
he opens another. the message written is far more alarming, causing him to tense up.
𖤐 "but no matter how many stars i fold, i can't seem to save myself."
it didn't take him long to react, he was immediately unraveling every single star. except for the purple one.
his eyes lit up when he found a message that seemed to match one of those he previously opened.
seconds turned to minutes, and minutes turned to at least two hours. rindou has never found himself cooped up in his room for this long that even ran began to notice his brother's absence.
"not having dinner? mom's gonna be mad that you ignored her calling you downstairs." ran leans against the door frame with his arms crossed, watching his brother go through every strip of paper, mixing and matching them.
"i'll eat later."
ran raises an eyebrow, uncrossing his arms as he entered the room. he looks over rindou's shoulder for a few moments and his mind begins to process what he's doing.
"this one goes here, no?" ran points to a strip of paper, making rindou pause. the latter blinks and tries his brother's suggestion.
the next few minutes go by faster with ran's help. rindou feels confident about the order now and sits back, going over the entire message.
𖤐 "hi, rindou! if you're reading this, you probably already know what happened to me."
𖤐 "i wonder how much you'll miss me. if you see your basketball moving on its own, just know it's my ghost! hehe."
𖤐 "anyway, i saw that lucky stars are usually gifts to symbolize good luck, love, and support."
𖤐 "so if you wondered why i gave you so much of them, i guess i just wanted to show how much i cherished you."
𖤐 "i don't think you ever opened them to read the messages though, but i'm not hurt by it!"
𖤐 "i'm mostly glad 'cause i know you never wanted to ruin them."
𖤐 "did you know? the origins of lucky stars began with a tale of a girl named hoshi."
𖤐 "doesn't she sound cute? she loved to stargaze like we did!"
𖤐 "one night, she saw the stars began to fall during a meteor shower and she was sad about the stars falling."
𖤐 "so she started folding paper stars because she believed it would save each star that fell."
𖤐 "but the stars kept falling so she got the help of other children in the village and they folded stars together."
𖤐 "they folded thousands of paper stars and soon, the night sky began to shine with stars again."
𖤐 "i really liked the story, it was the thing that kept me going besides our friendship."
𖤐 "i wanted to believe i could live a little longer and be saved, just like the stars in the story."
𖤐 "and i like to think that we're both stars. you always shined so bright to me, rindou."
𖤐 "your glow was quite contagious too, but i think my light is slowly dimming."
𖤐 "no matter how many stars i fold, i can't seem to save myself."
𖤐 "i lo you can open the final star now!"
rindou reaches out for the purple lucky star to unfold it, but not without squinting at the scribbled letters on the last star.
𖤐 "go to your mom's bedroom. look under the cushion of her window seat."
rindou only realizes now that ran had left his room a while ago, but he pays it no mind. he rushes to his mother's room, entering without knocking. "rindou?" she says, startled. he doesn't respond as he makes his way to the window seat, pushing the pillows to the side and lifting up the cushion. nothing.
he lifts the other side of the cushion and finds a usb flash drive hidden underneath it.
rindou takes it and places the pillows back in their original spot before dashing out of the room. "close the door!" his mom reminds him, and he does just that before going back to his room.
he immediately plugs the usb to his pc to find just one file. it seems to be a voice recording titled, "to rindou." he wastes no time clicking on it.
"hey... i didn't want to write this one down, because i really wished i could have told you in person." the sound of your voice plays on his computer, and his heart twists upon hearing you again. "i love you, rindou—and i don't just mean it as a friend. i'm sure you know that already but i had to reassure you just in case."
"it's okay if you don't feel the same, but if you do..." he doesn't miss the subtle way your voice cracked, and you paused before shakily continuing. "i'll be really happy. i'll be leaving with many regrets, but you'll never be one of them. i lived a good life knowing i had you."
as your voice recording comes to end, his room is silent. it's silent until he hears the faint sound of something dripping on his table. it was only then he became aware of the saltiness on the corner of his cracked lip, and the tears staining his cheeks.
—
everyday, rindou would unfold one star.
it's become a routine now, and he was nearly halfway through the jar. he'd wake up and the first thing he does is walk to his desk and read a message you left behind. he'd check the time on his phone after doing so. he didn't care if he was running late for something—you're a priority even though you're no longer with him.
ran notices this new routine as well at some point. perhaps it was rindou's way of grieving, he thought.
everyday, rindou would make a lucky star. writing your name and the date on the strip of paper before folding it into a star. despite knowing you couldn't be saved with lucky stars like in the tale, he hoped that you could be more at peace, knowing that he still thought about you, still loved you, and that it would never change.
occasionally, he'd write other things on them the way you used to. words he never got to say to you in person.
𖤐 "i actually really liked the sticker you put on my bottle back in junior high. so i never took it off."
every year, rindou visits you at least twice. on your birthday and your death anniversary. every time he did, he'd sit in front of your tombstone and fold ten lucky stars for you. he doesn't know why he makes ten of them either, it just felt right. it felt like a number you'd choose.
at some point, rindou thought he'd give you all the stars in the night sky one day, but you beat him to it.
sometimes, he still wished you could've come back that day when you left him with an abundance of stars. real or paper, it didn't matter. you didn't need to come back with thousands of stars. there was only one you, and that would've been enough.
but as long as he had the jar of stars you gave him, and strips of origami paper to make more, your light could never dim. you were brighter than any star he's ever seen.
#im gonna hate it if i read it for too long so im just gonna post it now AAAA#some parts sounded really corny i think... oh well lol#first time writing character death 😅 i kinda dont know what im doing#tokyo revengers#rindou haitani#haitani brothers#tokrev#haitani rindou#tokrev x reader#tokyo revengers x reader#tokyo revengers x you#tokrev x you#rindou x reader#rindou haitani x reader#haitani rindou x reader#rindou x you#rindou haitani x you#tokrev rindou#tr rindou#tokyo revengers rindou
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86 Days Since Echoes of Wisdom Release. I finally had time to play more of Eow so gameplay pics once more. At this point I have made it through the Zora rift, past the Castle rift, and into the Mount Lanyru area. (photos below the read more)
The pre-battle nap is pretty important. I found this place funny because it feels like the bed is in the perfect place. Fish guarding Zelda's sleep.
This gave me Twilight Princess vibes. You have to jump down a hole to get to the eel boss in the Water temple in Twilight Princess. I guess the Bongo Bongo boss entrance also drops you down into the boss arena in a similar way (its been a hot minute since I've played OOT but I remember falling.
MY ROOM. THE RIFT ATE MY FREAKING ROOM AND MY CAT.
Moved the chair and placed the beds to catch Zelda's dad if he gets unsuspended and falls. It's the little things. Besides, this version of Zelda's dad is actually a decent father. So he deserves a bed to cushion a potential fall.
The way I screamed outloud when this first happened. I was not expecting the void soldiers to teleport Zelda into a little room to fight. I thought I could just fight them normally.
This stealth section..... so maybe it took me a while. Maybe it took me longer than it probably should've.
Ok this is it for now. I'll post more photos tomorrow.
#legend of zelda#loz#eow#countup's eow playthrough#loz eow#echoes of wisdom#eow zelda#eow tri#eow zelda's dad#does he even have a name#eow spoilers
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Day saying yes to having his picture taken was so important. There is now proof out there that he is still a part of the world. There is proof out there that he is still a part of the badminton world, which was his own special world, in that fan's phone.
Then Day asks Mhok to take a picture of him with the trophies. Little by little Day is entering the world again. He's allowing himself to be part of the world and to be seen in it even if he can't see it for himself.
#last twilight#last twilight the series#last twilight series#last twilight bl#this is about all i got thoughts wise right now because my brain is basically just a radiator#i'll probably have more thoughts tomorrow
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This was my watch party for the finale. 💖
#cats#little kitty winter#little kitty fantastico#they were great company#and soon I'm going to bed to cuddle with their sister and sleep#I'll probably have more thoughts tomorrow#but overall right now I'm feeling mostly satisfied and pleasantly wrung out#and excited to read the meta and fic that shall follow#g'night y'all#<3#toasty's adventures in unexpected feral kittens
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seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything
#i personally like to not be doing things constantly at all times. it stresses me out#i know there are ppl who thrive on cosntant activity#but me i like to chill out.#and the problem then becomes that i only ACTIVELY remember to do work and Find More Work To Do when im stressed#at the thought that others might want to see me working#if im ever relaxed i just dont look for stuff to do#catch 22 of modern work culture which permeates even ostensibly noncapitalist structures like public libraries#for instance: will it really kill anybody if the books get shelved by me now after a very busy day?#or shelved tomorrow morning by. well probably me since i'll be the one at the desk#not in the slightest#but it was work that wasnt being immediately done by me. therefore it was incorrect behavior#that i failed to identify because my instinct is to relax when not immediately presented with a Situation#this got me labeled as 'having no initiative' by my dad from a very early age#and even as an adult i still feel like im a child with no initiative
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Day 7: "female bullying" (reference under the cut)
Donate to save Muhammad Shehab's family! Main Post | GoFundMe
#I wasnt sure if I wanted ship on this blog#cuz I want it more about Amy than any ships in particular#but Metamy week starts tomorrow and I wont have time to do more than one drawing a day probably#so I'll prob be making those my Amy dailies as well#as for why i made this image its because a friend of mine showed me the reference and I thought it would be funny#amy rose#amy rose daily#sth#sonic#sonic fanart#please donate!#blazamy#metamy#blaze the cat#metal sonic#metblazamy?#blazemetamy?#i have no idea what the ship name for the three of them is oops
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i have officially returned. ask me anything.
#random thoughts#i'll probably answer it tomorrow because i'm tired. i don't know why.#ciel if you see this i've been nicer to myself these past few days following your birthday. taking care of myself in general aspects.#which i sort of hate myself for but it's okay because. uh. i won't be like this forever. i'll be better at what i'm trying to do i promise.#new year's resolution is not fucking with me.........#oh also!! i've been sort of feeling like a dead person at times. and also like a cockroach. i have had to repeatedly tell myself that#i'm not dead i'm not dead!!!!#because i'm not. obviously. and i know i'm not. my brain is just silly. it likes to tell me i am things i am not like book characters.#and recently my mother got me my own rosary and we've been practicing praying together with my brother.#can you imagine how bad it must be for me to turn to christianity as a coping mechanism? not even when i was terrorized with death thoughts#not even in august for fuck's sake.#but it's actually not that bad. though i think i like the idea of organized religion more than i like being a part of it.#also i feel like my being catholic (mostly non-practicing) is betraying the queer community somehow. like. queer people have suffered#so much because of the christian church in general. so it's like. being christian is weird when i'm also queer.#but also then i feel weird when i try to do things in relation to christianity. like. put saint in my artist name.#that feels blasphemous i don't know. is it?????? it's not that serious either way but. augh.#i am going to write a song about this. also fellow christians is it okay to use the lyric 'uselessly clutching her rosary' or is that bad?#because i mean. technically. the she i'm referring to sort of is. because god isn't solving any of our problems.#he's just fucking. watching. if he's even real.#(and no my disappearance isn't related to the catholicism thing it's something else. as in the one thing i haven't told anyone else but cie#and an irl friend. if you are ciel then i am completely open to talking about said thing.#otherwise i will continue to drop cryptic little notes on my blog because I AM SILLY. {: )#going to play roblox now and maybe say hello to you fuckers on discord for a bit of fun. goodbye.
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Whose idea was it to make a kirtle out of flannel bedsheets in 29C weather?
Oh yeah, mine.
I'm merrily calling this project 'my descent into madness' and I'm having a grand old time. I'm engraining the metric system in my brain (American down, folks), I'm delighting in how comfy this thing is going to be (I did a quick pinned fitting with the side gores in, it is so soft and so flowy, and it'll be even more flowy once I get the front and back gores in), and I not only definitely have enough fabric for the sleeves, scary as they may be, but probably one or two kerchiefs as well! I won't wear those with the kirtle, that's too much dark blue in one go, though.
#holy run on sentence batman#i thought about making a wimple to go with#but i don't have any white linen#the goal for tomorrow is to get the side seams done (i'll probably fit them more later but depends on how the shoulders work out#and get the front and back gores pinned in at least#seam finishing? maybe#i think i may end up using the sewing machine#which is not historically accurate but i can't be bovvered (in the words of rachel maksy)#historical fashion i may prefer but modern tools are nothing to sneeze at#also i want this done by tuesday so if i'm going to spend hours handfelling seams then i'm cutting some corners for time's sake#this isn't my blog's usual topic matter but my historical fashion special interest is awake and you are all going to hear about it#(yes i am aware that three people will see this total)#chatters from the nightsky#sewing
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I haven't really been able to get anything meaningful done during my sick leave (which is pretty much the whole of last month) but! today I did! I worked on an essay for 30min and then also worked on an art piece for ~1h! And I could've gone for more but I need to go see a cardiologist early tomorrow so I'm trying to get to bed early!! I'm trying to take more care of myself and succeeding so I am celebrating that :3
#my brain is also being a hater and screaming at me that I've ruined things when I probably actually haven't#so this is also me redirecting my thoughts from that to the positives. cognitive behaviouring myself or smth#I'm going to go makemyself some starfast (evening equivalent of breakfast that english has no word for) and play some genshin as a reward#and then I'll hopefully sleep well and for multiple hours continuously! and then I'll have a nicer day tomorrow and life will be more yippe
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(๑˃﹏˂)
#I've been trying to organize the posts for tomorrow for two days now... To no avail. Even despite barely doing anything else#The plan was to queue highlights of my original posts for the whole day tomorrow#... Turns out reducing 2613 posts to a reasonable amount is harder than I thought. I've been drowning I've spent so much time on my–#computer I feel nauseous#No matter. I'm trying to narrow the number down as much as possible#Please feel free to blacklist the tag#sskk birthday fest 2024#if you'd rather avoid it! They're probably going to be a lot.#And that's all I hope everyone is having a sweet day / night (。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡#random rambles#I wish there was a way to bring back my old posts without being overwhelming. There's some 2022 gems everyone - me included - forgot about#That said 2613 posts are so many. It's more than two posts a day it's a little embarassing to look at. Like girl get a job#I suppose once I'll have ran out of ideas I can start a queue of old posts–#but since right now original posts from August 2023 are still being posted that doesn't sound like something that'll happen any time soon..
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can someone remind me to write up my thoughts about gallagher and the enigmata later or at least compile them somewhere i want to share it but also my Goodness i am sleepy as heck today and i have work tonight 😔
#and its a saturday so its gonna be busy asldfjkasdlkah#im just. im so sleepy man#and i have to wake up early too for work tomorrow so i just. Im going to Die between today and tomorrow count on it#but at least on monday-wednesday ill make myself catch up on sleep#love the work but on the downside MY SLEEP.....#i forgot if i said it here. idk where i was posting bro#but the other day i 100% the theme park and am close to 100% dewlight pavilion so i'll be nearly caught up with all information#that + still need to read#but im also nearly caught up with all the reading in penacony too so thats super fun and exciting !!#but because of that i have thoughts askjdfalh#most of it is towards gallagher and the past of penacony and the watchmaker but. you know alskdjfalskjh#avil plays hsr#hsr 2.1 spoilers#just in case o7#i will say though#its wild i havent run into any information regarding the dreammaster at all really#the one who adopted sunday and robin#who is the dreammaster? why does the dreammaster and watchmaker have beef with each other? whats going on?#where did the shift come from between the watchmaker being the father of penacony to the family being in charge#since the family and the watchmaker are kinda against each other#(shakes the game) I WILL KNOW YOUR SECRETS SOON ENOUGH. AS SOON AS I AM MORE AWAKE ITS OVER FOR YOU.#i wish i had someone to ramble about ideas with and like bounce off of#WE CAN SOLVE THE MYSTERIES OF PENACONY! TOGETHER!#and then probably get our asses killed too by getting to close to the legacy 😔✌🏼 itd be the way of the truth
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seeing how simple the recipe & ingredients for brigadeiros are and kinda wanting to add them to my Christmas goodies for the year to give out but also knowing my godmother is Brazillian and I'd hate if if they weren't good.....
#her mother is from Brazil & lives with her & my godfather and I would be devastated if I sent them some#and they weren't any good. like I'd be so fckn embarrassed. here's a beloved Christmas goodie from your motherland! I've ruined it!#this is also why I'd never offer her subpar vodka lmao her father was russian she got me stoli vodka for my 16th birthday#I'm putting way too much thought into this and need to go to bed I am so tired bro I've been cutting up fudge#and putting it in little paper Christmas cups all night#2 batches of fudge later and I'm like I will jump off the roof if I have to make more fudge#but I still have a can of condensed milk left to use. idk I'll figure it out.#probably making the red velvet cookies tomorrow at least so it'll be actual baking and I won't be so fckn bored with it#erin explains it all
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winter so bad i'm considering watching grantchester
#actually? winter so bad i might just walk out to the village itself tomorrow after work#i've never been (somehow)#could take my camera#it'll probably be roughly dark by the time i get back#but that's alright#still gonna have hours to get some work done#also i am Foaming At The Mouth with how bad i wanna watch more endeavour#but i have realised my next academic deadline is way closer than i thought :/#going for a long walk is a worthwhile diversion though; i'm in pretty desperate need of a change of scene#maybe next friday i'll take the train out somewhere quiet#briefly considered london but that'd be hell
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Logically I know... In the state I am rn... I should admit myself to a psych ward. But I would worry my friends and family.
The last few weeks made me realize I live more for others than I do for myself. My family told me I'm self centered but with every decision I make, I put their feelings first. I can't do this anymore. My social worker told me we could get me out of here anytime. Even if it meant staying at a shelter for homeless people. But what about my belongings? My parents would be in so much pain.
But today something clicked in me. That we live in different worlds. They don't understand me - and it's not about blame, it's about different life experiences. Which doesn't matter in the end. I want to be with people who get me. People with a different kind of life. Like my friends.
They can't understand. Unless they wind up in a similar situation than mine, they'll never understand.
For most of my life, even during my hardships, I had a plan. I knew where I wanted to go. I had a plan. Now I don't. I just genuinely don't know what to do. I don't. I feel truly and utterly helpless - and more sorry than I could ever put into words. So much guilt.
If yesterday, my acquaintance wouldn't have driven me home, I wouldn't have gotten here. I wouldn't have made it.
I can't care for myself at the moment. So humiliating. Such a shame. So much helplessness.
But I will end up figuring it out. Even if that means asking for more help than I deserve.
#personal posts#vent posts#tw#tw addiction#tw helplessness#tomorrow I have the appointment at the place for victims of violence#but I already know that I'll probably suffer from withdrawal symptoms so much#that I'll own my social worker an explanation#but I'm so scared of being taken to a hospital or something#I don't want to bother anyone#don't want to waste anyone's time or waste recourses that'd better be spent on someone else#I hate my self pity#more than anything else#whish I could just be normal#I'm sorry#and even more sorry for wanting my thoughts to get heard#rip#it's 2 am
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