#I'll probably get to these in half a year.
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Teenage Dirtbag III
Mapi Leon x Ingrid Engen x Teen!Reader
Summary: You get a job
The mural appears on the building in the middle of the night but it's on the morning news show that moment the sun comes up.
You stubbornly ignore the screen as you stare down at your bowl of cereal, the smallest of smiles on your face as you offer a dry cornflake to little Vince, who takes it and scampers off to eat it at the other end of the table.
"I wish you wouldn't let him up there," Mapi says and you roll your eyes.
"You let Bagheera up here."
"That's different."
"Is it because he's a boy? Is that it?"
Mapi lets out a little bark of laughter for a moment before flicking you in the ear. "I'm worried he's going to fall and hurt himself."
Your kitten peers over the edge of the table after eating his cereal, little legs wiggling in preparation to leap as his half ear flicks happily.
"I think he's survived worse."
Mapi rolls her eyes, plucking Vince off the table and placing him on the floor before she makes her morning coffee.
Ingrid's the one watching the news, her brow furrowed as she listens to the report.
"Well," You say, pushing out and up from the table," I'm going to head to school. I'll see you later."
Ingrid's eyes narrow at your abrupt exit and you don't slow down enough for her to open her mouth.
The path to your school is a familiar one, a fancy private school that Ingrid probably pays an extortionate fee to send you to but is still leagues above the boarding school you used to attend in Norway.
But you've still got a blazer to wear and a shirt and tie - not even one of those clip on ones. It's a proper tie that you've got to tie everyday.
Your skateboard wheels roll over the pavement, earphones thumping with music, as you approach the building. There's a teacher at the gate and they give you a look of disapproval as you come rolling past.
"Hoodie off, Engen," They say," You know the rules."
You roll your eyes as you continue on your way, making a show of stripping off the hoodie you've got on under your blazer just as you make it through the double doors - where it goes straight back on again.
School in Spain isn't really that different to school in Norway apart from the fact that everyone's speaking Spanish.
That's not really difficult either - Spanish that is. You've already got Norwegian and English, and Spanish wasn't really too complex of a language to learn either.
Sure, you've got a bit of an accent and sometimes have to take a moment to think through your grammar but it's nothing that makes it impossible to communicate.
"Off the skateboard, Engen," Another teacher says as you ride down the corridor on your board.
"Will do," You lie through your teeth.
The speed of your skateboard is the only thing keeping you away from the gaggle of girls that follow your every move.
Back at home, Mapi thinks it's hilarious. Ingrid says it's sweet.
You think it's annoying. It's bad enough to appear in the middle of the school year and have everyone automatically know who you are. It's worse when a group of giggling girls try to follow you around all the time. You kind of just want to fade into the background.
"I thought the teacher just asked you to get off that skateboard?"
You roll to a stop in front of one of the prefects.
"I mean...they didn't exactly say when I was meant to get off the skateboard? Just that I should get off it?"
She rolls her eyes, arms crossed over her chest. "You know what they meant."
"Do you ever get tired of being so stuck up?" You ask with a cheeky grin.
"Do you ever get tired of pushing boundaries?"
You shrug. "It's part of my charm."
"Yeah, charm," She scoffs," Let's call it that. You know, I should write you up for dress code. You know you're not meant to wear hoodies to school."
"So I've been told."
"Or trainers."
"They're comfortable."
"Or leave your tie undone."
"I don't like the feeling on my neck."
"And that hairband? Black only."
"What? So I can't wear a red hair tie but you can wear pink ribbons? How's that fair?!"
"So now you're trying to fight with me about it?" She asks, the corner of her mouth twitching upwards," I really should write you up."
Your eyes narrow, nose scrunching up. "You're teasing me."
"What gave it away?"
"I hate you."
"No you don't, Engen. But I do have a note that I was meant to give you during registration. Here, you're excused after lunch. Your sisters are picking you up."
You stare down at the note from the office in your hand as she walks off with her stupid pastel pink hair ribbons.
"Hey! Mapi's not my sister!" You yell after her but she doesn't stop to argue with you about it.
You kind of wish she did.
You shake that thought away though, tucking your skateboard safely under your arm as you make your way over to registration.
School is boring like it always is, even though Ingrid's insisted on them giving you challenging work in the hope of keeping you engaged. She doesn't need to know that you're still skipping classes to hang out in the art rooms with that one eccentric art teacher that can't remember your name but does know the exact brand of spray paint that you love.
You're more than happy to sign yourself out for the day with your hood flipped up as you make your way over to Ingrid's car.
You take a glance back at the building, up to the second floor where that girl is sitting with her stupid pink ribbons, staring bored outside of the History class window.
You know she sees you and you know she sees you put your middle fingers up at her.
"Do you have to do that?" Ingrid asks as you slide into the back seat, slamming the door closed behind you. "You're going to ruin my doors."
"The club will just give you a new car," You say dismissively, plugging your phone into one of Mapi's many chargers. "So...Why am I being let out early?"
"We can't want to do something nice for you?" Ingrid hums, pulling out of the school gates and onto the road.
"Not at lunchtime on a Tuesday," You reply and Mapi snickers in the passenger seat," Don't you guys have training or something?"
"It's almost like you want to be in school," Mapi teases," We can always turn around and drive you back."
"I'm good," You say," But, you know, I haven't eaten yet. Can we grab something first?"
It's hours (and one burger) later that has Ingrid watching you from her passing exercise with Esmee.
Your white school shirt is stained with spray paint and she's ninety percent sure that it's never going to be white again. Your blazer is a heap on the floor and your hoodie sleeves are pushed up to reveal a pastel pink ribbon tied around one of your wrists.
You're totally in the zone though as you adjust your hastily made stencils and step back to review your work.
Ingrid's pretty sure someone could scream your name and you wouldn't even notice, too preoccupied with setting up base layers and a few shapes.
"How it's going?" Mapi asks," It looks..."
Well Mapi can't quite tell how it looks because it's just a bunch of colours and vague shape blobs to her.
"I think I'm going to make the focal point the Champion's League trophy," You say," And then everyone spread out around it."
Mapi tries to picture it but the vague blobs and splashes of colour look just like that to her, no hint of what you can clearly see within it. "Cool," Is all she can say in response.
"It'll look good," You reply," I promise."
"I trust you," Mapi says," I'm just a little sad that I'm clearly not seeing what you're seeing."
"Give it a few days," You promise," And it'll come together."
"I look forward to seeing it," Ingrid says as she approaches.
She's with Mapi, unable to see what you can in the splash of colour and swirls but she's seen enough of your work to know that it all starts off like this.
"Besides," Ingrid says, slipping her hand into yours," Maybe with this to work on, you won't go around tagging random buildings that make it on the news."
"You can't prove that was me," You reply, not taking your eyes off the wall in front of you," They were saying it could be Banksy or someone else trying to make a statement."
"Don't be stupid," You sister says," I can recognise your work anywhere."
#woso x reader#ingrid engen x reader#ingrid engen#mapi leon x reader#mapi leon#woso community#woso imagine#woso fanfics#woso
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PLS PLS PLS GET INTO HOW WOULD CHRIS REACT I find it so interesting, because most of the times is Chris just going "Great ! Im happy!" which valid, but honestly? I really like when it's more complex than that, like in the fic Pinky Promise by rainbow_nerds, that explores a bit the fact that Chris does in fact has abandoment issues, like I don't doubt that Chris (even angry) wants his dad to be happy, but c'moooon, his mother was his primary caretaker (because his dad left for the military, though it always hard for me to get the Diaz Timeline), then she left him, then she came back, then she died, his dad almost died at least twice (that he is aware of), Buck in the hospital, etc. Chris is going to have many complicated emotions ! I love him ! And I just wished people explored more all that potencial, you know?
i vividly remember making a diaz boys timeline back before the s7 finale but i just spent thirty minutes looking for it and i'm pretty sure i never posted it so... oops. maybe i'll make one later with the references but (apologies for the mess this is i tried to make it organized but i’m sick so there’s only so much i can do lmao):
when you look at it, buck has been consistently in christopher's life longer than shannon ever was, even if you restart after the lawsuit. shannon was him primary caregiver until he was about three, and then for a year it was eddieandshannon, after which she left. after that, it was consistently eddie. even if he wasn't around that often because he was working, he was still there, and that's what chris remembers. she came back for about half a year when he was seven, but then she died.
not counting the lawsuit, buck has been in christopher's life since he was eight. but the lawsuit wasn't that long, it was a few weeks at most, so the real answer is he's been in his life since he was seven. that's seven years at this point. to chris, buckandeddie has been a constant, more so than eddieandshannon, even if it's not the same type of partnership. and that's just a fact. sure, he'd known shannon for seven years, same as he's known buck, but technically she wasn't there for all of it. that's what he remembers.
but the same way eddie thought he needed to be with shannon romantically so as not to ruin the relationship, chris probably thinks eddie and buck need to keep the status quo not to ruin the relationship. especially when you take into his warped view of romantic relationships. shannon, ana, marisol, they all ended terribly for eddie. and buck? i'm not sure what he's told chris about his relationships, but he doesn't have a much better track record. abby ghosted him, ali left at the first sign of trouble, there was the whole jonah scenario with taylor (who actually was in christopher's life, so that definitely messed with chris a bit), tommy broke up with him seemingly out of nowhere...
it makes the most sense that chris wouldn't want them to date. if chris was home when they told him, i can imagine him calling pepa or carla, kind of a parallel to him running away to buck in s4 (which he can't do now for obvious reason). i don't think the arc would last long, i think whoever he ran to would start the conversation and tell him about an ex that they're still friends with, and then eddie would come to pick him up and they'd talk it out, there'd be a buckley-diaz scene, end of ep.
but if he was still in texas? he'd probably yell at them over the video call and then refuse to answer any calls or texts afterwards. buck and eddie would probably "break up" for an ep or two, and be absolutely miserable. this probably culminates in eddie taking a trip to texas (alone, maybe not even telling buck) and talking it out with chris, addressing their mutual fears about the relationship and eddie explaining that even if it doesn't work out, they'd still be friends, and even if that doesn't work out, buck would still be in his life, that it wouldn't be like when his mom left. there's definitely a video call to buck in this, after eddie and chris have talked their feelings out, and then chris would ask to come back home, effective immediately.
but there's also the question of how chris would react if eddie tells chris about his feelings for buck (pre-relationship). he'd probably tell eddie he can never act on it, then tell buck the same thing (without telling eddie) and then there's a few eps of buck and eddie acting distant from each other before chris snaps and says "you weren't supposed to act like you're already divorced!". of course that's if he's in la. if he's in texas it would probably play out the same way it would've if they were already together after they stopped avoiding each other and finally talked it out.
of course, they could go the easy route and have chris say "it's about time" but this is 911 we're talking about, they probably won't do that
#911#911 on abc#911 abc#911 spoilers#eddie diaz#evan buckley#evan buck buckley#buddie#buck x eddie#buck and eddie#christopher diaz#buckley diaz family
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Do you want to talk about your month honey 🥺
Hi anon. I meant to answer this when you sent it but at the time I wasn't able to articulate things.
Two very dear people in my life passed away back to back and it has made things very emotional and difficult. My grandmother, who passed early November, and, a very dear friend who was also the wife of my best friend, passed just last Wednesday. These events have taken a large toll on my mental health. It is hard to do much of anything right now.
Just a year ago I lost my dad, and that entire experience was traumatizing beyond anything I've endured. I still haven't recovered, so this month has been a bit triggering.
And my dog Baxter died in February of this year. He was 17, so it was expected, but at the same time, that's well over half my life. I didn't think there would be a part of life without him. When my dad died, he was there as comfort to me.
When I come to work, death is immediately a common place, because everyone I see at work is also dying.
And then of course, there is the election, which is a whole other situation of events that have forced me to cut people out of my life.
I've been very depressed.
I'm sad most of the time now, but I'm trying not to let it get me down. Things won't be bad forever. And things will get better. I have good things to look forward to. And I think focusing on that would make them all very happy. So I'm just taking things day by day. And I'm going to keep looking forward to the good things to come.
It's just the meantime that sucks.
I'm probably not going to be on here as much, I've deleted pretty much all forms of social media. But OF will stay active. Thank you for subscribing btw, it's the only thing keeping me financially stable right now so I appreciate you guys for subscribing. I'll probably be back sooner rather than later, but while I'm gone I'll keep my queue running.
✌🏼
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oh if you insist @mayallsworld 😌 (sorry for the @ but you gave me such a good opportunity to talk...)
these are the characters I've developed for Nerd Shit 101, but have only recently properly fleshed out for future endeavours. I'll try to be brief on my thought process.
They're currently playing at level 11!
Daichi is playing a Human Fighter, Banneret archetype. His character was technically created for him by Kuroo, the entire thought process being "intuitive to use, abilities Daichi will naturally want to do" - as a result, Daichi's character is heavily geared towards protecting his party. Sentinal feat + Protection fighting style. Bitch goes in and keeps the attention on him. Which is great because Daichi's complete lack of mechanical game knowledge means his playstyle is "where's the enemy? stab stab stab."
Kuroo is playing a Tabaxi Rogue, Mastermind. He is going all in on being stealthy and quiet and dealing as much damage without ever having to get hit. He gets pretty into the roleplaying aspect of it, but he also tends to have the most knowledge of game mechanics, and therefore tries to break the physics engine the most. Voted "most likely to argue with the DM" three years in a row, probably. Also most likely to try something fcking goofy.
Oikawa is playing a High Elf Cleric, Grave Domain. Oikawa is the roleplaying bitch. He is trying to romance all the other PCs. He wants to spend 3 hours just talking to NPCs in town. He gets real invested in the characters backstories and lore. As a Cleric, he has a heavy emphasis on party buffs and healing, and tends to under-prepare spells that can do any damage. He is all about supporting and elevating his team and making sure they don't fucking die. Note taker and dice goblin extraordinaire. Will cry at the table.
Bokuto is playing a Goliath Barbarian, path of Wild Magic. He was playing an Owlin Paladin of Glory but he made a series of stupid decisions and got fcking dead. Bokuto is here for a good time, not a long time. He doesnt really understand the game mechanics but he really likes winning things, so this bitch is all about the combat. Very rarely remembers the plot of their campaign outside of the bosses they've killed.
Bonus Players that pop in on occassion but are not weekly players, treated in-game as allies on the homefront but not the quest:
Tendou, as an Aarakokra Bard/Warlock multiclass (Valor + Genie pact). Tendou has incredibly knowledge of game mechanics and simply chooses to not remember any of it. He is incredibly efficient and effective and has geared this particular build for attacking and dealing damage. He prepared cure wounds exclusively as a curtesy. He seems to be profoundly lucky with his roles.
Kenma, as a Tabaxi Wizard, school of Divination. He threw this character together sort of haphazardly to join Kuroo and the boys one evening as Kuroo's character's brother, and sort of regrets it. He likes playing wizards but Divination was chosen to fill a specific roll in the plot at the time and now they keep asking him to come back to help defeat various monsters and frankly its exhausting. Incredibly adept at the game, could be a rules lawyer but chooses not to. Is not super into the roleplaying aspect but tries not to break character.
Bonus-Bonus: I havent actually made these characters properly yet so they're subject to change but:
Suga guest starring as a half-Elf Ranger, and Iwa guest starring as an Tiefling Paladin. They dont have any game experience but get dragged into it.
And of course, and I take zero feedback on this, Ushijima as the dungeon master. I won't accept any other dungeon masters. I think he would absolutely excell in the dice management and monster-encounter designing aspect of the game, and when he has complete control over the worldbuilding there isnt a goddann plot hole to be seen. Airtight. He's also never lied or changed a role, he plays 100% to rule as he knows it. well reknown among his players for being absolutely brutal, and holding back nothing when it comes to themes and story beats and doing stuff like disembowling Bokuto's Paladin three sessions in. Hey. It's what the dice rolled.
spent the entire day creating full dnd character sheets for the captain squad. sorry. correction: for my headcanons of the captain squad's self insert ocs. yeah. that makes it sound like a perfectly normal thing to be doing. i'll go with that.
#haikyuu NERD headcanons lmao amirite#anyway the first chapter of Nerd Shit 101 is posted rn if you like what you see. its gay and nerdy as expected#and has been published for months#but i maaaaay be in the process of writing the next few sessions for them#consider this official self promotion
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For the DTIYS by @ladylunora !!!
It was really fun, Thank you for the challenge!
#I haven't done lineart in Years and colouring is so difficult right now. Still not super happy with it.#I'll probably end up messing with it more but for now it's kinda gotta be done#I'll post alternatives when I'm less sleep deprived. Maybe#hlvrai#hlvrai gordon#hlvrai benrey#fan art#my art#first almost finished piece in A While#why r colours sp harrrrdddd#I may also have 2 other pieces and an animation that I definitely won't get done in time#or even anytime soon#but the dtiys has done something to me and im Inspired#benculavanfeetmanDTIYS#frenrey#half life vr but the ai is self aware#please look at the hands i tried so hard#but not too close. dont look at the mess pls and thx
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Not me brainstorming ideas for my post op tattoo (context) like I'd contact the tattoo artist tomorrow and not in a 1,5 year or more
This was where my inspiration took me today I guess :'D
#bold of me going for colour in most of these since none of my other things have colour x'D#after all this is only what ideas I have rn :'D#as mentioned I don't think I'll be able to get a chest tattoo for at least one year and a half#in half a year I've been promised to start appointments with a therapist again about the surgery#then if I'm lucky I'll get approved#and then there's a waitlist on at least a year last I heard#and then I need to heal a bit first#so when we arrive at that point in time who knows if I've better ideas#or if I've changed my mind#I hope to have käärijä in my life for years to come still#or at least feel the same sort of gratitude for him showing me how to love my body and/or feel neutral about it when dysphoria hits#look at me being chatty in the tags yet again#also - these are of course only concepts#I will probably have send the reference picture as well to the tattoo artist if I actually went to find one to do these tomorrow x'D#I hope you like them :3#I really enjoy number 2 (top left) and 3 (mid)#jere pöyhönen#käärijä#cha cha cha#mine#my own art
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When he saw the god down half of his beer in one go, Matthew worried if he should've gotten two or three more to begin with. Not that he thought it wise to get hammered in that precise moment, but damn if he would let a A FUCKING GOD feel unwelcomed. Not with Leviathan's warning signs still crawling through his sking every other minute.
But since Ulgen seemed to ease up a little bit and approve even of their chicken nuggets, he felt like he could let his shoulders relax a little bit.
The question that lingered in the air, though, was probably one of the most complicated things he ever had to consider. Hell, he had struggled with that very same thing for years already. A life purpose had never been too clear, not before Leviathan at least... But he figured, if Ulgen was a god, lying would be pointless. He could see it all anyway, right?
"I guess there was a time were I genuinely thought I was making the world safer by fighting evil and all," Matt confessed, taking a long sip of his drink before he continued. "But truth be told, lately I think the one thing I'll actually do with my life is to contribute in the fight against the pollution of our planet."
Although Ulgen was visibly sat there at that moment, he was also everywhere else at the same time. Other parts of him fending off evil from humanity, holding back his brother in the depths of the underworld and keeping him caged, as well as keeping the entire universe turning. It was something to keep his mind off those around him, not overly concerned about them, but he wasn't accustomed to being around -- - people, or anyone for that matter.
He was somewhat relieved when Matthew returned, bearded chin raising with that same stern look that portrayed the notion that his features never changed. They did -- - though not as often as others might hope.
"Mm. Thank you." Came the usual response, dark and ancient eyes wandering over the tray in front of him, a large hand instantly moving to wrap around a beer and pull it towards him. "Sağlığnıza." The god toasted, bringing the beer up to his lips and taking a surprising amount of hefty gulps, half finishing it before he placed it back down again. It wouldn't have any real effect on him but it was something.
"You spoke of leaving your mark. What do you intend to leave behind?" The Turkic creator god asked with a slight tilt of his head, glancing down to pick up a chicken nugget with his bare hand and dip it into one of the sauces before throwing the whole thing into his mouth. He seemed to chew for a moment, thinking, lips pursed together until he finally commented on it. "Mm. Acceptable." Which was actually a glowing response -- - for Ulgen's rather candid nature.
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... why he sit like this
#in this position his face is extremely 'cartoon cat' shaped.. like the perfectly round cheeks and little#rounded bump of a snout.. big round eyes. etc. stretched over the arm of a chair like a weirdo#cats#It's still Hot Evil Summer time and I have so much to do so am just aimlessly hopping between various projects but not actually#getting anything done. as usual. Also so so so so tired. I almost fell asleep in the middle of the floor like 3 times today lol#Trying to finish some costume photos and also another poll adventure thing. plus I do really want to do a sculpture sometime#I haven't finished one in a while. Hopefully my tiredness is nothing bad.#Maybe I'm anemic again so that's making me tired. Or maybe it's just a Listless phase. not that I'm ever really THAT productive considering#all of the health problems and etc. always holding me back. but still. I'm not usually 'sleep or just stare at a wall literally all day' ty#e unproductive.. at least not for multiple days in a row so. hmm... Sometimes especially in the summer though I will have periods of time#that are listless like that. I am under low level phyiscal stress for months at a time due to summer heat so I guess it makes sense#that would eventually take a toll. I just have SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO DO!!!!! AAUUGhhh#I also came up with a new idea for a game that is so so cool and I wish I could make it but I have to finish the other one first lol#which I will NEVER do. if I spend all day just sleepy unfocused barely able to do anything#I also really need to sell some clothes and sculptures because I'll probably have to buy a new computer soon so I need money. (plus still#recovering the costs of having to euthanize my other cat.. wehh) There's nothing clearly wrong with it right now but it's getting gradually#slower and there's more weird glitches happening randomly and idk.. just weird things that make me think 'hmm... bad.. possibly.'#ANYWAY... I just have so much to do that I both REALLY want or need to do - so it's perpetually frustrating that I just can't for whatever#reason like. Time is always mving forward. every day I waste is a wasted day. The year is already almost half over. I havent finished#any of the projects I wanted to .. and there's only more and more things to do each day. It's overwhelming and stinky#and thats not even considering having to do all of my tasks also with the background noise of economic inequality. everything increasingly#going into an even scarier political direction. active climate change crisis. pandemic that still exists and is insane to act otherwise. et#etc. HOW am I supposed to solo make two whole games . write 3 book series. finish sculptures. do costumes. make outfits. game videos. make#stable network of social connections. do my little side crafts. take care of myself and cats. pay rent. manage health issues. keep a routin#.try to make some sort of money. go to doctors appointments. handle regular maintenance like cleaning and cooking and self care#and buying new plates when old ones break or etc. make sure to do other things like backup my computer data regularly. do shopping lists.#take care of plants. pursue like 6 different academic interests. do the other side side projects I have for fun (like music or carving avoc#ado pits). eat in a healthy way thats okay for my Special Health Issue diet. exercise so i don't die early. etc. etc. etc. AND all while it#82F in my apartment all the time and I have tiny income and also need to move to another country/climate somehow??? lol......#ANYWAY.. ..very frustrated today over my chronic Tired Sleepy.. time for Cat Photos - which cure all of life's ailments lol
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Hello, hope you're feeling even a little better.
This is going to be a kind of rant about the AMAZING chapter you just posted of WHTD lol.
First, I loved loved loved the scene between Gaon and Elijah. They are so cute!!!!! However, as I was reading it and enjoying every second of it, I don't know why I had this sort of apprehension. I felt like we will loose this kind of easy bond for a short time in the future. Wether this is the case or not, you can totally ignore what I said lol.
I love how Elijah is written. It is a perfect balance of all the reactions and choices someone who has gone through so much like her would have. Not to mention that she is a teenager nearing adult life, which a struggle of its own even for people who had a non traumatic life.
I am very interested in the case and how it will be solved! Hopefully, Mrs. Thongsuk doesn't suffer any more than she already did.
Now, coming to what I really wanna rant about. The scene between Yohan and Gaon!!! It was so beautifully done. It broke my heart in several places, for both of them.
Yohan obviously wants to be there for Gaon, to help him and be in his life but he doesn't want to make Gaon uncomfortable and burden him because he knows that Gaon has a lot of mental health issues at the moment. However, when talking with Gaon and them somewhat behaving like they normally would before the rejection, he started to slip into his old self with Gaon. And he is afraid to show any emotion or be vulnerable in any way, which would make it obvious to Gaon how much Yohan still loves him and that would result in Gaon feeling even more guilty. And, of course, Yohan also wants to protect himself from any more heart break.
Gaon is obviously devastated when he finds out how hurt Yohan is and how much he's trying to hide.
When I tell you, I was smiling and crying at the same time. But I loved it, because Gaon needs to be pushed like this so he can change his perspective and see how him rejecting Yohan was a wrong decision for both of them. Gaon thinks that he was doing it for Yohan's and his sake but I feel that he will see that isn't the case in the near future.
We have weeks of Yohan and Elijah still in Korea with Gaon, so hopefully Gaon will find a good therapist and start sorting through everything he's feeling. Add to that all these revelations he's been having in the last few chapters, I hope they'll have sorted what's happening between them to a certain extent.
I'm just a little anxious and excited about what will happen after Gaon acknowledges that he made the wrong choice and starts rectifying it. Yohan will obviously not believe him so easily, and I feel like Gaon will get hurt in many instances before they fix stuff. Both of them have insecurities that will make it difficult for Gaon in the future. However, when that happens I will enjoy it fully like I've been enjoying every chapter of this amazing fic.
Sorry for the rambling 😭. I just felt the need to send this to you and ask about your health. I know things are tough, but I believe in you and your strength. I may be a stranger on the internet but I've been following you for a while and have seen how much shit you've had to endure, and how you always persisted and came out of it victorious. Everyone has lapses and times that test us, but the people who win are the ones who stay after going through every test life throws at them. You have won many times, and you will win in the future.
Take care and try to be kind to yourself 💜.
Hello!
I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter! And yeah, I just love that scene with Elijah and Ga On! They're so sweet together! And I guess that you should expect a bit of a hiccup eventually since Elijah is going to need a moment to get used to Ga On and Yo Han being in a relationship. But that's still far away at this point and the biggest issue the two of them will have. So I don't think you need to worry too much?
I think one of the important things about Elijah (if one wants to keep her in character) is that she's still just a teenager. A teenager with a lot of problems and trauma, like you say. And while she's very intelligent and quick-witted, she's not particularly charming? She can charm people, sure, but that's not the same as being a charming person. If she's being her genuine self, she's abrasive, straightforward, and determined. And I really like that about her. She's not some cardboard cut-out of a teenager who's quirky and playful — she's an actual person with both good and bad sides. And trying to handle her is a handful sometimes, as many people can attest to xD
I admit that I might put more effort into the cases than strictly necessary sometimes. I mean, they're important for the plot, sure, but they're not meant to be the main focus as such. But this time the progression of the case is tied to Ga On's progress in gaining more confidence, so it's featured a little more than usual. And I hope the conclusion won't disappoint!
The scene between Ga On and Yo Han was such a mess, but in a necessary way, yes. Because even if it hurts for them both, Ga On needs to realise just how wrong he was, thinking that Yo Han is somehow able to just shut everything off. Because of course he's not. Yo Han desperately wants to be there for Ga On but he's been told that he can't, so he's trying not to overstep. But the moment he begins to relax? It comes creeping back. Because he's just helplessly attached to Ga On at this point. He genuinely can't help it.
And Ga On is going to realise his mistake pretty soon. He will need another couple of pushes, but I'm going to make sure that he gets them. He's been working up to this slowly but surely and the therapy will help even more. As will a couple of conversations he's going to have with both Elijah and Yo Han in future chapters.
As for how Yo Han will react when Ga On changes his mind? He's going to be pretty suspicious, yes, and he's not going to be able to simply brush off all the pain he's been put through. But, that said, he's also too in love not to feel hopeful. So he won't be unreasonable or vindictive. Just... understandably cautious? And, in all honesty, pretty fascinated once he realises that Ga On is actually serious xD
So while it will hurt, it's also going to be something to look forward to, because there will be flirting — mutual flirting this time. And Yo Han is going to have the time of his life because Ga On is going to have to be the one to initiate it. And, as we all know, Yo Han loves watching Ga On's embarrassed fumbling.
And is going to make Ga On's life even harder by flirting back, which just makes Ga On even more flustered.
So you can look forward to that, I guess? xD
Thank you so much for the ask! Not just for the lovely comments about the chapter, but also for caring so much about my health. I admit that things haven't been easy lately and I'm very annoyed with how tired and unfocused I've been. I had high hopes for this year — especially when it came to Who Holds the Devil — but life just kept throwing me curveballs and I'm frustrated to find that I haven't been able to write nearly as much as I would have liked. But that's just life, I guess?
My plan for the rest of this year is to focus on finishing things that I'm really close to completing. That unfortunately means that Who Holds the Devil might be taking a backseat for a couple of weeks, but I know I'll feel better if I'm able to finish some of my ongoing projects. The fewer things I have to distract me, the better. Not to mention that finishing things gives me a feeling of productivity and satisfaction that I deeply crave right now.
So yeah. I'm sure I'll get through this as well in the end and, for now, I'm going to focus on finishing half-finished projects and goals.
#Amethystina Replies#Anonymous#I've said it before and I'll say it again#I'm the kind of person who'd go:#What doesn't kill me better start running#Because I haven't gotten this far only to give up now xD#But yeah#I'm feeling disorganised and distracted#So I've made a list of 20 things I'd like to get done before the end of the year#Most of them related to writing and drawing#I probably won't be able to do all of them#But I'm hoping for at least half#Fingers crossed#But hey!#I'm going to see The Nutcracker on Thursday!#As a late birthday present from my wife#(I was away because of the funeral during my actual birthday)#So it's not all bad!#That's important to remember
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i hate feeling ambitionless aimless the future is so bleak
#this is about me not the events#i really don't think i have a plan lol and i ever will...#because all through school i had this thing. need to pass this unit test this half yearly this 2nd unit test final exams need to do this#cocurricular activity and the absolute relief when i flipped the report to see i was promoted every year. that was the aim right#now i don't know what's happening#a set set of friends i met everyday sat next to permanent place in the field where we had lunch. like?#it was all so permanent#i knew teachers did not like me or how people there felt about me#and i think a lot of it comes from the fact that i never changed schools#14 years in the same place then one random tuesday it ends everything ends and im supposed to start from scratch#losing friends was all my fault but goddddddf. i used to be good at things#like when i was in 10th grade i gave my everything to studying maths because mom threatened me that if do not get science here we'll change#your school#to wherever you get science#so i studied like crazy did not touch my phone for months and got science#like that is my level of attachment to that place#i just miss it so much probably more than my own home#and i can't belong anywhere because i'm so stuck and nothings good enough and i miss being good and being academically productive#it was my only win i think#this is so sad but i don't think i'll ever get that past work ethic back and it will never be good enough for me to feel good about myself#which can only be through study or work because im a loser who thinks she's worthless if not for a successful career#and I've felt this way for three years now. it is going to be permanent#everything is lonely
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i love christmas yet i'm dreading it bc i can never stop spending soo much money i do not have on little gifts for my friends and family 🥲
#in march i bought a baby bear onesie for my friend who just had a baby but it was too big for him then it got too warm#so he didn't get to wear it before he outgrew it#THEN i bought him a new one in october in his new size but it was already super tight on him somehow when it arrived#so i just bought it again in the next two sizes 😭#this baby WILL get a whole season out of baby near onesie 😤#but i can't even wait for christmas to give her the new ones bc they'll probably both be too small by then for all i know#so it's not even a christmas present im gonna give them to her immediately when they arrive in three days#then i need to get her a separate christmas present#and that's just one of my friends#ugh#i want to mix up little hot chocolate mixes in mason jars for everyone but I'll have to customize each one#bc half my friends are allergic to dairy and each prefers a different non dairy milk substitute#idek which of those come in powdered form 🤨#anyway#maybe i can leave the dairy out all together and make them dark chocolate hot chocolate mixes and they can use whatever milk they want#idkkk#but i ordered jars and they were enormous so now i need to order new jars and cocoa powder is expensive actually#that's just my friends nevermind my family lol#and im only working like 2 days a week for $14/hr currently#so not super great#alas#i do love christmas but i NEED to curb my gifting enthusiasm this year bc i can not afford it lol#this has been a shitpost#i can't help it i love giving people presents 😭
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The consequences of my poor financial decisions are here!!
#blame Kat for this lmao. she got the Yangchen novels first and I very easily give in to peer pressure (that wasn't exerted. but whatever)#three days earlier than scheduled too. which worked out perfectly bc I picked them up on the way home from grandma's#and carried them for 2 km. 2 hardcover books + the thick cardboard boxset they're in#+ the backpack full of food my grandma gave me#in the rain#I nearly fucking died#I'm not made for this level of physical exercise 😅#okay moving on#nia stop calling things like this poor financial decisions challenge#it cost like. the equivalent of 40 bucks#I have 30 times as much hidden away in my sock drawer#and I am usually responsible with my spending. I'm allowed a slightly more expensive treat every once in a while#also my dad doesn't know but I'm sure if I would him 'hey I spent 3.8k on a pair of books is that okay'#he'd be like 'why tf are you asking when have I ever said no to you spending money'#but again. I do try to be mindful#which is why as much as I want the lok art books and could probably ask for money for them. I won't#bc they cost an arm and a leg and I cannot morally allow myself to spend that kind of money#anyway. getting distracted again#do you know how hard it was to get these? I checked like 3 marketplaces before I did#and I was fully ready to get them in russian because non-classical english books are impossible to come by here#sanctions and all that. but somehow I did. and it only cost half the money in my bank account#I don't even know if Russian editions exist. these books were written before the war and before the gay propaganda ban but still#I didn't find them when I looked. maybe they don't sell them now that the law is in place or smth#I don't really care enough to look it up#the point is. I now own the books and can happily read about best girl kyoshi whenever I want#if the stress for an upcoming event doesn't kill me. that is#also I have read rok before but it was 3 years ago so my memory is vague. and I just realised how much thinner sok is?#I'll have to check the page count later
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Mixed feelings on the choices stuff but also annoyed that out of the three choices that are to be made I technically haven't made two of them yet bc I haven't finished inquisition and therefore trespasser ajdkfl
#this is mostly a joke.#idk im stull pumped for the game and tbh this isnt going to put a damper on it#i am kinda sad about the high probability of not getting to see kieran and that the well of sorrows choice doesnt. seem to matter#but like. im not gonna not play the game#half of me playing dragon age is just vividly hallucinating things that are either just mildly implied#or things that i pull literally out of nowhere#so if the choice doesnt matter in game i'll make it matter in my mind palace#dav#veilguard spoilers#kinda#da#also dont @ me about not finishing inquisition im working on it#and i only got into dragon age after inquisition had been out for at least 2 years if not 3#and then i didnt really get a computer capable of playing it super well until. 4 ish years ago#and then i played half of it and got overwhelmed#so#yknow#im working on it
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also i wanted to see if i could gather enough fullbodies i've done to make a kinda height chart and that fact that it makes such a nice gradient is so funny to me actually. i might have to make someone in the crime gang like 5'8" just so i'll have a single skeleton with a normal fucking height
#I HAVENT UPDATED STRETCH YET STOP LAUGHING AT HIM#i'll probably shrink rogue whenever i add him tbh.....i think he could fit the short king role well enough#the difference in art styles between refs is Also very funny to me. u can definitely tell i drew most of these in different years#i even had to shrink honey's head down so he wouldn't look as jarring lmao#unpictured is the aforementioned rogue & smiley who i don't/didn't have canon heights for yet & tbh didnt feel like copy/pasting atm#and also spooks. who i never once designed the lower half of#like i'm being so genuine and true when i say i have no idea what his feet look like.#he'll. he'll be a minute#i have to redesign him So bad. i have a couple ideas. but also he's dead so i dont care about him enough rn oops !#he also doesn't have a canon height but i at least have a range for him which is “taller than honey in a slightly freakish manner"#sludge also doesn't have a canon height but i've said before he's Malleable so he still gets to be on the list#i wonder if this makes it obvious who my favorite character is and who atbb is centered around. can anybody tell idk
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Bad time of it, all things considered (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#Blood#Just a bit but y'know - Enough#It honestly made me So sad that it took until his canonmates saw it happen that someone /finally/ acknowledged his spontaneous cuts D:#Like I get it it's dark and it's hard to see but his skin just opened up and he made a noise about it! The possible danger!!#And then by that point he's just so used to everyone ignoring it that their concern for him is barely even a factor weh ZEX ;;#Plus it's just a cool effect haha - sudden blood from nothing! Very rich mental movement#At least Max had someone concerned for him about it <3 Not that he could do anything about it but even just the validation of seeing it!#He has enough cuts on him :( Poor tenderized flesh#He gets all crabby from being sore from healing constantly haha :'D Of course he would!#One thing I found very interesting was the scar sidedness :0 Most of the examples in the gallery have his scar and missing eye opposite#But that's not necessarily the case! I actually scoured mid-read and there /are/ a couple instances of matching side!#They're very tiny so I overlooked them upon first viewing hehe ♪ But they're there! It's very interesting to me!#I like the aesthetics of the opposite - probably because I'm more used to it lol - but I can see the appeal and reasoning for the other way#I do honestly enjoy how much is open to interpretation and allowance uwu♪ And what's consistent! Like how it's always his right eye :D#That tracks hehe ♫#Haha his meeting with his delightfully inept counselor - I'm pretty sure I was actually more angry about his supposed injury than he was#He chilled out pretty quickly while I was just - A Scratched Cornea??? The disrespect!!#So happy with his eyebrow expression on that one as well ah <3#It really does make me curious for how the staff is kept there - they don't /seem/ malicious during the day! But they're also unaware#It's interesting where the lines of reality are between everyone :D Very interesting ♪#Capping off with another song my playlist is looking quite healthy now hehe#Flagpole Sitta is one of those songs that only comes up for me every half dozen years or so but when it Does - phewph#It is /such/ a ZEX song to me now hehe <3 The flirtiness and exasperation - the defeatism even! So many killer lines#I think my favourite is ''I'm not sick but I'm not well'' ask me to read into that I will I'm gonna I'll do it even if you don't ask me lol#So fun to draw those lapses in control the poor dear ♥#The digital reconstruction there was a lot of fun as well actually :D I think I nailed it :3 Pulled around from all over the page! Pleased ♪
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God i hate Google
#so as ive talked abt before i cant put external links in the descriptions of my youtube videos because of copyright strikes-#-i got seven years ago. so i decided to bite the bullet like ok fuck it i'll give them a photo of my ID to get advanced features back#1. IT USED THE INNER CAMERA. FOR A PHOTO OF MY ID. i had to turn my phone around awkwardly and practically take a selfie with it#2. i had to retake it twice because the photo was ''too blurry'' all the text is legible???#and itll probably get rejected because the photo frame was SQUARE even tho my drivers permit is RECTANGULAR#so part of it (like half my face) is out of frame#or maybe it'll get rejected because my google name doesnt match my legal name. who knows#UUGGHH
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