#I'll make long chapters to make up for it

[jeonginsleftcheek]

The sun to me

The Departure. Bonus chapter.

~ this is part of my series The Sun To Me, so if you haven't read it, this scenario might not make sense! if you want to read the series first here's the link to the masterlist!💙

pairing: hyunjin x afab!reader

synopsis: For the frist time in years your feet gather courage to step on the ship, this time with Hyunjin holding your hand.

warnings: mentions of crying and insecurities, very small pinch of angst, multiple sex scenes, oral (f and m), face fucking, unprotected sex, creampies, mentions of throwing up and alcohol, fingering, squirting, mentions of pregnancy

wc: 10.9k

a/n: these events take place after the epilogue. got a bit too long whoopsie! i just love the universe of this series sm🥺

Hyunjin was sleeping peacefully until his body somehow recognized the lack of your warmth next to his, his arms reaching out where your place is, hands in search for your familiar figure.

After some time as he rolled over to your side, his eyes opened and he realized you weren't in bed.

But your warmth and smell lingered, Hyunjin couldn't help it as he leaned into your pillow and took a whiff of your shampoo.

In his sleepy state, he smiled to himself before getting up in search of you.

A faint light was coming from the kitchen so he let it lead him to what he was looking for.

You were staring out the window with a cup in your hand, all wrapped up in Hyunjin's clothes.

"Hey." he said quietly, his voice still raspy from sleep and you turned around to take in the sight of your lover.

You stifled a giggle at his disheveled hair, his cute puffy face, the pout on his lips, his shirt somehow twisted and falling off of his shoulder.

"Hey." you smiled and he made his way to you, his arms wrapping around you as soon as they could, a kiss planted on your forehead.

"Why aren't you in bed, cuddling me?" he whines, leaning on you as he buries his face in your neck, swaying you both a little.

"I couldn't sleep." you chuckle, putting your cup on the windowsill so you can embrace Hyunjin properly.

"Still nervous about tomorrow?" he looks at you and you nod.

"My flower, there's nothing to be scared of." he shakes his head, caressing you gently.

"I know. It's just been so long since I've left the island and this is the only thing I've come to know. Being away from my garden and my shop will be unusual for me."

"Love, we'll only be gone for five days." Hyunjin cups your face and you chuckle.

"Ah, I know I'm being dramatic. I've been hanging out with you too much." you smirk and he giggles.

"And still it's never enough." he whispers as he leans down to kiss you gently. "Why don't you come back to bed?"

"Okay." you nod and let Hyunjin take you to your bed, where he pulls you into his comforting embrace.

You do manage to fall asleep after some time, your dreams still restless, intertwined with excitement of going to the city with Hyunjin by your side.

Even though it's not the first time you're going there, you know with him it'll be a completely different experience, the memories you make there together will replace anything negative both of your minds have conjured up about the city.

"Good morning, lover." you greet Hyunjin as he walks into the kitchen the next morning, looking even more disheveled than he did when he woke up last night.

"Morning, my flower. Did you make pancakes?" he skips towards you and you nod fervently.

"Wow, you made so many! How long have you been up?" he purses his lips, feigning annoyance.

"Just a few hours." you grimace.

"Y/n! You were supposed to get some rest for today." Hyunjin pouts, his arms wrapping around your middle as he holds you from behind, pulling you into his body.

"I'm well rested. I'm just too excited." you giggle when he playfully bites your shoulder, wiggling his eyebrows at you.

"You're adorable, you know that?" he kisses the skin he bit into.

"So you tell me all the time." you chuckle.

"And I'll continue saying it." he smirks.

"Okay, sweet talker, eat your breakfast, we have to leave soon." you add, tapping his hand as he makes a kissy face at you.

After rolling your eyes at him playfully, you plant a kiss on his lips.

As soon as the two of you finish breakfast and clean up, having already packed the day before there was nothing left to do but get ready and leave to the ferry.

Before you go down to the pier, you leave your key to Catherine, who was more than happy to come check on your garden while you were away.

"Have a safe trip, my lovebirds!" she calls behind you as you wave at her and Luna with smiles on your faces.

The ferry was already close when you arrived to the pier, and Hyunjin squeezed your hand as soon as he saw you shiver.

He leans in and kisses your cheek, calming your nerves without any words, cause that was sometimes enough.

Just a light touch of Hyunjin's presence was all you needed to know you're safe.

Stepping on the ship felt like a dream, one you've thought about many times.

Before you met Hyunjin, there were times you felt angry and lonely making you want to pack up and leave everything behind; the garden, the flowers, the shop, the entire island that seemed to bring you nothing but misery back then.

After he came into your life, the island seemed different too, it's as if you were looking at it from his point of view, a pair of fresh eyes that made you realize just how much beauty can be found in simple things; like the rocks on the beach, like the sunlight peeking through trees, like the very flowers that grow from the ground, like the smiling face of a loved one.

When he left without saying anything for the whole summer, you thought about running to him, your legs taking you down to the pier many times but you never set foot on the ship, you only watched people come out and go in.

Sometimes you thought you saw Hyunjin.

It only hurt more.

Your inability to leave the island behind, as you would stand there just watching the ship disappear further away from you, just like it did the day he left.

But the thought of trying to find Hyunjin in the big city only for him to turn away from you was equally as scary as the thought of him never coming back to you.

Thankfully, he came back and stayed.

And now, you were brave enough to venture out of your comfort zone only if he was there, walking by your side.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Hyunjin caresses your hand as the two of you sit down, the ship slowly beginning to move.

Your heart leaps out of your chest for a moment and you take a deep breath in.

"Just how happy I am." you smile at him.

"I'm happy too." he smiles sweetly, leaning in to kiss you gently.

You lean your head on his shoulder as your fingers entwine, palms pressed together.

The wind picks up as the ship catches speed and the loud sounds of the water splashing against the hull coupled with the deep hum of the ship fill up your ears.

Hyunjin brings your hand to his lips and kisses your skin.

You're still scared but you keep reminding yourself that Hyunjin is there with you so nothing can go wrong.

Time passes by as the two of you talk and enjoy the breeze before you decide to take a little walk around the deck.

Thoughts and memories are swirling in your mind, on the day you left the island when you got into university, thinking you're definitely never going to come back to live on the island.

"You okay?" Hyunjin asks as you stare off into the distance.

"Just reminiscing the last time I was leaving the island in this ship."

"And when was that?" he asks, his hand finding yours again as you lean on the railing and look out into the horizon.

"When I got into uni. Gosh, it feels like I was a different person back then. So naive, so giddy to be away from everything that made me who I am. I thought I was going to find myself in the big city, that I was going to run away from the things gnawing at me. I thought I was going to change my life around, have an amazing career, experience love. Have a perfect life. Away from the garden and my mother." you scoff. "I was so stupid."

"You weren't stupid, y/n. You were brave, you got out of your comfort zone and stepped into something completely unknown. You tried it and there is really nothing wrong with trying to find yourself." Hyunjin squeezes your hand.

"But I failed." for some reason your eyes become teary. "I was weak and couldn't take it."

"You didn't fail. You had to go back to the island because of your mother. She was sick and you came back to help her, that just shows how strong you are. Not many people could do that, watch their parent die. It's not something to be taken lightly but you were able to go through that. And look at you now." he smiles, kissing your cheek.

"Actually." you shake your head. "Can I tell you a secret? Well, it's not a secret. It's just embarassing and I never told this to anyone before."

"You can tell me anything, my flower." Hyunjin nods.

"I didn't come back here because of my mother. I came back two months before she fell ill." you swallow as Hyunjin listens intently. "I came back because my heart was broken, because I felt abandoned and I couldn't deal with it. I couldn't deal with the harshness of the city and the people at my university and the person I was dating. So I came back here and that's why I always think I am weak." you admit, a weight lifting off your chest as you take a deep breath in, waiting for Hyunjin to say something.

A single tear slides down your cheek before you turn to look at him and see the fond smile on his face.

"That again doesn't make you weak, my love. You recognized the toxicity of the situation and you left it before it could destroy you completely. You fled to the island just like I did. I didn't think of myself as weak, rather someone who wanted to find and keep their inner peace. That's why we're similar and why I understand what you did. Don't beat yourself up over that, I think it all turned out well now, don't you?" he chuckles, pinching your cheek for a moment and you let out a giggle.

"It did. Sorry I never told you this before."

"You told me now." he shakes his head with a smile before wrapping his arms around you and holding you.

"Hey, it's like Titanic!" Hyunjin exclaims suddenly and you laugh as he grabs your arms and lifts them up.

"I would never let you die in the freezing water." you quickly say as you look back at him.

"I know you wouldn't." he smiles before kissing you gently. "My rose." he adds, wiggling his eyebrows at you and you chuckle, smacking his chest.

Feeling elated, now you can't wait to finally arrive to the city.

-

The moment you step foot onto the city's pier, it's clear how different it is.

There are so many sounds, so many people rushing around you, so many cars in the distance, huge buildings creating a familiar skyline.

"I texted Elsie earlier so she will pick us up." Hyunjin announces as the two of you walk further away from the ship and towards the cars lined up and waiting.

"Okay." you nod.

Elsie was a friend of Hyunjin's who he left his gallery to tend to while he was on the island after the whole ordeal with Charlie.

You didn't know anything about her except that she went to the same academy as Hyunjin and was an artist herself, though she worked as an art critic more than a painter.

"There she is!" Hyunjin's face lights up as he waves and you follow his eyes until they landed on Elsie.

You gasp a little, never knowing just how beautiful she is, tall and slender, her hair long and shiny, her face like a model's, her clothes expensive.

She looked like a million bucks and you suddenly felt a pang of jealousy in your stomach.

Even now after all this time of being with Hyunjin, sometimes you'd wonder what he saw in you, your insecurities getting the best of you and almost convincing you that you're not worth it.

And now seeing this gorgeous woman hug Hyunjin, made you realize you could never compete with someone like her.

"Ah, my favorite artist is back!" Elsie taps Hyunjin's shoulder as he chuckles.

She turns to you as you stand awkwardly on the side, waiting for them to finish hugging.

"You must be y/n." she says, making her way to you and unexpectedly wrapping her arms around you.

"I'm so happy to finally meet you. Put a face to the name. Hyunjin yaps about you all the time, so much so that I couldn't wait to meet the woman who stole his heart." she leans back, smiling at you enthusiastically. "And I understand now. You're really beautiful and coupled with what he told me about you, you're the perfect match."

God, she's even nice.

"Oh." you blush. "Thank you."

"Let's go then, I'll drive you two lovebirds to the gallery." she motions for you to pile your bags into the car, before both of you sit in the back.

Night starts falling over the bustling city, but it's not turning it into contemplative quietness like on the island, quite the opposite actually.

At night time, the city seems even more alive.

As Elsie starts driving, her and Hyunjin fall into conversation, reminiscing of memories you aren't a part of, you opt to stare out the window.

The flurry of lights pass you by, so many cars speeding up next to yours, people on the street acting like it's the middle of the day as they walk around, dressed flashy and probably going to some party as they laugh and hug, some house music pumping through the car's speakers; so many overwhelming things that they hurt your brain and you close your eyes.

Hyunjin notices and grabs your hand.

"We're almost there." he whispers and you nod, looking at him briefly before turning your attention back to the outside world.

You almost get so lost in your thoughts that you don't even notice the car had stopped and Elsie opened your door.

"We're here." she chuckles as you come to your senses and finally get out of the car, seeing Hyunjin taking out your bags.

You stare up at the huge building where Hyunjin's gallery resides in, his apartment now only a few floors above it.

"Well, I'm sure you two want some time alone. But please, hit me up this week, I soooo need to take you both out to dinner and pick your brains." she says before tapping Hyunjin's cheek and waving at you.

You can't help the jealousy that tugs at your heart strings.

You had no idea how close they were and it seemed to you now that they were pretty chummy and he never told you about it.

You'd never doubt Hyunjin's devotion to you, but sadly you always doubt yourself.

"Is something wrong, my love?" Hyunjin asks as you stop in front of the entrance to the building.

"No, everything's fine." you force a smile and Hyunjin squints his eyes at you, not believing it for a moment.

"I'm just tired." you say as Hyunjin swipes his card and the door buzzes.

"Well, the bed in the apartment is very cozy." he smirks at you, wiggling his eyebrows and you let out a little chuckle.

"You wanna go there first or the gallery?" he adds as you walk into the elevator.

"I really wanna see the gallery." you smile and he nods, clicking the button as the elevator doors close.

You're quiet, trying to come up with a way to ask Hyunjin about Elsie but you're not even sure what you are trying to find out.

"Here we go." Hyunjin leads you to a big glass door before he puts in a combination and you hear a click, signalling that the door is unlocked.

As soon as you walk in and Hyunjin turns the lights on, a gasp leaves your lips.

Yes, you've seen some pictures of the gallery but actually being inside it, seeing Hyunjin's works of art hung all over the walls, hours of his hard work on display for people to admire, his heart on the canvas in shapes of flowers and you, filled you up with warmth and love.

"So, what do you think?" he asks, wrapping his arms around you, his lips on your neck.

"It's beautiful, Jinnie."

"Mhm, I like it even better now that you're here, flower. You're the most beautiful work of art amongst all of them. But only for me to look at." Hyunjin smirks into your skin before nipping at your sensitive spot.

Before you can melt into his embrace completely, you need to get one thing out of the way; Elsie.

"So, how close are you and Elsie?" you slide out of Hyunjin's arms and pretend to look at one of the paintings more closely.

He smirks behind you, knowing exactly why you're asking that.

"Is my sweet rose jealous?" he almost skips towards you with a goofy smile on his face and you can't even pretend to be mad at him.

"No." he narrows his eyes at you. "Yes." you sigh.

"Oh, y/n." Hyunjin chuckles before grabbing your face. "You do know that you're the only woman that exists to me? Elsie is like a sister to me. We're close like that, nothing else. She also has an amazing husband who she's been dating for years, and we're probably going to meet them for a double date at least once this week. You've nothing to be jealous about, I'm only yours." he talks, leaving gentle kisses on your face.

A sigh escapes your lips.

"I know, I'm not doubting you. I just get insecure. I'm sorry I'm like this, always ruining everything." your eyes water.

"You didn't ruin anything, my love." Hyunjin smiles gently at you before leaning in to kiss you again. "You could never. You can only make everything more beautiful." he says between kisses and you slowly start melting.

"You're so biased." you chuckle against him.

"So be it." he whispers before devouring your lips, his hands gripping your waist and pressing your body against his.

"Baby, are there cameras here?" you chuckle when he starts kissing your neck, your fingers tangled in his hair, playing with the ends of it.

"Yeah." he licks at your skin before sinking his teeth in.

"J-Jinnie, someone will see." you gasp, gripping onto him as he sucks a love bite into your skin.

"No, they won't, I already made sure they turned them off for the night." he smirks before leaving kisses on your collarbone.

"So, you planned to seduce me in here?" you chuckle as he presses you into the wall, right next to a painting of you.

"Damn, you caught me." he jokes and both of you chuckle.

"In all seriousness, you know I love you forever, right?" his eyes become big, sweet, full of emotion as they search yours.

"I know, Jinnie. I love you forever too." you smile and kiss him, the sweet and innocent kiss escalating slowly into a more passionate one, tongues clashing into each other as Hyunjin leads you to the couch in the middle of the gallery.

It looks expensive and has two sides, one turned towards the art pieces and one looking towards the city, the huge glass windows with all the buildings on display, the lights in the distance twinkling like stars, promising something good to whoever stares at them for long enough.

You think he's gonna lay you down on it but instead he makes you stand in front of it, the side overlooking the city, before he slowly kneels down.

"My muse." his hands roam on your thighs, sliding under your dress before he bunches it up above your panties.

Your breath gets caught in your throat as Hyunjin leans in, kissing your clothed clit and taking a deep breath of you in, his eyes fluttering shut, cheeks rosy instantly.

He grips your leg and hooks it on his shoulder before leaning in again, and your pussy clenches around nothing as his breath hits your warmness.

You grab onto his hair for leverage and he whines into you, pushing your panties to the side and burying his tongue inside you.

He laps you up, always hungry for more, never tired of tasting your sweet juices on his tongue as he holds you steady, gripping your ass as you shiver and grind gently against him.

"H-Hyunjin!" you whimper when he sucks on your clit before diving back between your folds, pushing as deep as he could, his tongue moving inside you wildly.

You look up from his flushed face and dark eyes to see the city before you, feeling like every single soul that was awake could see you now, see how you were falling apart just from your lover's tongue and it made you even more wet thinking about it.

Gripping his hair harder, you fuck yourself against his lips and nose and Hyunjin whines into you, letting you use him for your pleasure as your high pitched moans echo off the walls of the gallery.

You throw your head back, gasping when you notice the huge mural painted on the ceiling, you and Hyunjin together in a garden full of blooming flowers, making love to each other, the petals hiding your private parts.

"Fuck!" you whimper, grinding against him faster before the coil snaps and you explode all over his face.

"Mm." Hyunjin moans into you, licking your juices up as he smirks.

"I take it you like my main piece." he leans back with a satisfied smile, his tongue darting out to lick at the droplets of your pleasure all around his lips.

"I- I'm speechless." you gasp, your ears ringing as you come down from your high, still looking up at the ceiling.

Hyunjin stands up and grabs your chin gently making you look down at him.

"Me too." he kisses you hungrily and soon both of you stumble but Hyunjin catches you as he smirks and grabs your hands.

"What are you doing?" you chuckle confusedly as he takes you over to the other side of the couch, the one turned towards the paintings.

"I want you to have a pretty view of the city." he says and before you can ask what he means, he pushes you down onto your knees, bending you over the backrest and making you look towards the huge glass windows.

"Oh." you whimper when his fingers slide against your wet folds, his other hand freeing his length out of his pants before he replaces fingers with his cock.

"My lovely muse." he whines as he pushes in and you grip onto the backrest, gasping as he slides in easily. "My only rose. I love you so much." he pushes his entire length into you, taking your breath away.

"I love you so much, Jinnie." you moan as he hovers over you, fucking you slowly.

Your eyes roll back, fluttering shut as the familiar stretch of him burns a little, giving way to pleasure as he keeps dragging his cock against your velvety walls faster, making you wetter by the second.

His hands roam freely on your body, wrapping around you to cup your breasts and you arch your back, chasing his touch.

Hyunjin groans when he sees you like that, his hips pounding into you faster as you kneel and take it.

"You're clenching so much around me, my flower. Let go for me." he fucks you harder as you keep whimpering, your eyes opening to stare out the window, all the lights becoming blurry as pleasure starts overtaking you.

"Ah, J-Jinnie!" you moan loudly as you let go, cumming around his cock and he grips onto you, his hips snapping against you while you count all the stars, your body shaking under him.

"Y/n!" he moans you name out as he spills inside you, riding his high and filling you up with his warm liquid.

Hyunjin pulls out of you, collapsing onto the couch and pulling you against his body as he wraps his arms around you.

Your breathing is heavy as you hold onto him, nuzzling as close as you can and you look up at the ceiling again as he giggles.

"When did you paint that?" you ask.

"The first time I had to leave after we opened up our gallery in Isaac's house." he answers and you look at him.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted to surprise you when you come here. I'm glad I never told you to look up. You did it just in the right moment." he teases with a smirk and you giggle, biting into his arm and making him yelp before he laughs at you adoringly.

"Why don't we go upstairs and wash up? Are you hungry?" he asks.

"A little bit." you nod as you sit up.

"We can order, I don't really have groceries here." Hyunjin chuckles and you nod, kissing him shortly before you get up and make your way up to the apartment.

It's a small one bedroom apartment, enough for when Hyunjin comes here alone to promote his new work or the works of a fellow artist who he represents.

You can see it's not too lived in but there is a touch of Hyunjin to it, as well as a touch of you.

Noticing photographs of the two of you together framed on the shelf makes your heart warm up as you smile.

"I look at them when I miss you." he pouts, giving you a quick peck.

"You're cute." you giggle.

"I know." he scrunches up his face and you laugh.

You leave for the bathroom first, stripping before you step into the shower, adjusting the water while Hyunjin orders some food.

He joins in shortly, throwing his clothes haphazardly on the floor just so he can jump in as quickly as possible.

You squeak when his cold hands grip onto you and he chuckles.

"Sorry, baby." he says, still he presses himself into your warmed up body.

"Cold." you gasp a little as he buries his face into your neck.

"You know, I read that transferring body heat helps warm you up quicker so I have to stick to you like this. You don't want me to die from the cold, right?"

"You will not die." you roll your eyes playfully, still your arms wrap around him to keep him close to you.

The shower turns more into a fun time than a regular shower as you wash each other's hair and sing a duet, your giggles echoing in the small space.

After getting dry and warmed up, the food arrives and you eat in Hyunjin's living room, again the view feels huge as you scan the buildings.

"Would you ever wanna live here again?" you ask as the two of you eat, sitting close to each other.

"My honest answer? No. I love being on the island with you, it feels more like a home than any other place I lived in. I got used to the limited space there, like here everything seems so big and so wide, like you can go anywhere and do anything. When in reality it is not like that. The island might be small, but every single part of it is beautiful and filled with memories. I wouldn't trade that for anything." Hyunjin smiles wistfully.

"But, if you want to move here I would for you." he adds, his hand on your knee as he caresses you gently.

"That's sweet, Jinnie but I think the city is too much for me. I don't mind visiting, but I love being on the island. It's comforting and familiar, and I love having you there." you smile.

"Mhm then you wanna keep me there forever, right?" he leans in closer as you finish eating.

"Yes." you chuckle.

"I don't mind being your prisoner forever." he shakes his head with a cute smile and you laugh, carding your hand through his hair as he plops his face into your chest.

"Is that how you feel? Imprisoned?" you tease and he whines into you.

"That is not what I meant! I was trying to be romantic like you stole my heart forever and now I can't go anywhere-"

"Okay, okay, I get it, I was just teasing you a bit." you smirk, making him whine again as he nuzzles his face between your breasts.

"Cuddle me." he pushes his body closer to yours and you wrap your arms around him, merging your bodies together in the warmness of the small apartment.

You go to bed shortly, excited to explore the city, experience something new with the one you love; the jitters making you shiver in anticipation for tomorrow.

But for now, you relish in the sweet and familiar feeling of tangling up with Hyunjin under the sheets as he holds you close to his loving heart.

As you open your eyes the next morning, you panicked for a second, not recognizing your surroundings until you remembered that you came to the city with Hyunjin, and are now laying on his chest safely.

Taking a deep breath in, you look up at him and instantly melt when you see his messy hair and cute sleepy face as he still dreams about who knows what.

You bury your face in his neck, kissing his soft skin gently, getting yourself worked up just from his warmth and his familiar comforting scent.

He doesn't wake up immediately, not until you bite into his skin, sucking on it and creating a pretty mark on your lover.

"Mm... Darling." he groans, his voice deep and laced with sleep.

You continue kissing him, thankful that he slept shirtless as your lips traveled down to his collarbone and chest.

"What are you up to?" he chuckles as you keep kissing lower, a tent appearing in his boxers as his cock strains against the material.

"Nothing." you wink, your lips now closer to his middle.

"Really?" he tries to sit up but you lift up quickly, grabbing his wrists and he lets you pin his hands on either sides of his head.

You throw your leg over him, pressing your core against his hardness and he gasps quietly, his hips lifting up towards you already.

"You said that you're my prisoner." you say and he smirks, letting out a little giggle.

"I am." he nods.

"Then just stay like that and let me do what I want with you."

"Of course, my flower." he smiles as you lean down to kiss him before returning back to your original position.

You lay your hand on his bulge and squeeze slightly before you start palming him.

"Mm, y/n. My love." he whines, pushing up into you and you smirk, leaning in to kiss him through his boxers, noticing a little wet patch appearing on them.

Your fingers circle his head and he whimpers, almost begging you to remove the obnoxious fabric as he grips onto the sheets below him.

You give him a little smirk before you bite into his inner thigh, making him jolt and moan, his cock twitching under your hand.

Deciding you were done teasing him for now, you hook your fingers in his boxers and slide them off, his leaky cock slapping his abs as you free him.

Hyunjin's eyes become darker as you lick at his tip, lapping up the pre-cum before you give him a little kiss. He observes you as you start leaving kisses on his cock, teasing him with the gentleness of your lips, pressing them into his vein, your tongue darting out to lick at his length a few times, all the way down to his balls.

"Trying to kill me?" he pants and you giggle before lifting up.

"A little." you smile before leaning in towards his tip again, swirling your tongue around him as you take him into your mouth, sucking lightly.

"F-flower, ah!" Hyunjin's fingers tangle in your hair as you tease him, the tip of your tongue playing with his sensitive underside and dipping into his slit.

His patience starts to run low, he's more desperate and sensitive than usually in the morning, and he wanted to feel you wrapped around him.

His fingers gripped your hair harder, quiet moans escaping his lips and you let him push you down a little as you took more of him in.

Gripping his thighs, you started to bob your head up and down, your eyes fluttering closed as you savored the taste of him.

Hyunjin shivers, keeping his eyes on you, your pretty lips wrapped around him, taking him in so well, always so sweet and so giving for him.

"Fuck!" he groans when you squeeze his balls, looking up at him sweetly as you continue your ministrations, taking more of his length in until his tip hit the back of your throat, making you gag a little.

"Be careful, flower." he smirks a little, teasing you, he knows you love when he fills you up like that.

You hum around him, sending vibrations through his core and making him twitch as you keep sucking on him like your life depended on it.

The more you sped up, twisting your tongue at the top, massaging his balls in tandem with your mouth, the more desperate he became.

His legs started shaking, he was a babbling mess as he started fucking up into you, meeting your movements while you gagged on his length.

"C-close!" he whimpers and you speed up, determined to make him explode in your mouth.

He repeats your name like a prayer, louder and louder until he finally twitches inside you, spurts of his warm cum painting your throat as you keep swallowing everything he gives you.

"Wow." he gasps as you lift up, making you chuckle.

"Was it good?" you tease and he laughs breathlessly.

"Perfect." he says, his hands gripping at your hips as he brings you closer to him.

"We should get up." you warn and he lets out an incredulous laugh, throwing his head back, his hair splayed cutely around his head on the pillow.

"You think I'm gonna let you get up without returning the favor?"

"Oh, that." you giggle.

"Yeah, that." he pinches your ass, making you jolt and squeal before he hooks his fingers in your panties so you lift up a little, helping him take them off.

"Aren't you and Elsie meeting with some clients?"

"They can all wait. My beautiful girlfriend needs me." he smirks, his fingers sliding against your wet folds.

"H-Hyunjin." you moan.

"Come up here." he motions towards his face and you blush profusely.

You've always been a little embarassed about sitting on his face, feeling awkward to do so but Hyunjin assured you every time that he loved it.

"Are you sure?" you ask.

"Positive." he smiles as he holds your hand, bringing your palm to his lips.

"Okay." you whisper, scooting closer to his face before you hover over him.

"Relax, my love." his arms slide around you, gripping your ass and slowly pulling you down closer to his face.

You close your eyes, grabbing at the headboard as his tongue swipes over your folds a few times making you clench around nothing.

His lips wrap around your clit and he sucks, making your legs shake and squeeze around him.

Hyunjin moans into you, flattening his tongue and slowly moving you against it as he grips onto you.

Your mind becomes dizzy quickly and you start moving on your own, grinding against his tongue and nose languidly as more arousal keeps dripping down onto Hyunjin's face.

His eyes flutter closed and all the embarassment you feel keeps being replaced with the growing pleasure inside you as you keep fucking his face.

His hands massage your ass as he keeps moving you against him, so you move faster as you keep holding onto the headboard for dear life.

Your moans become louder and louder as Hyunjin pushes his tongue into you and starts moving it, tasting you and playing with you, swallowing all your wetness.

"J-Jinnie!" you whimper loudly, your thighs pressing around his head as you snap, spilling all over his lips and face.

His nails dig into your flesh as he holds you down, lapping your juices up and your body trembles from overstimulation as you try to move away.

Hyunjin doesn't let up until he cleans you up, his face flushed and wet when you move away.

"Sorry, w-was that okay?" you feel the embarassment seep in again as he looks at you wildly.

"Baby, I don't think we're leaving the bed yet." he smirks and before you can protest he's already grabbing your waist and pulling you down as you squeal.

Hyunjin has been sitting in the meeting room for almost an hour, constantly glancing at the clock, his mind only on returning to you.

He had promised to take you out on lunch but the people participating in the event had so many ideas to discuss that the meeting just kept dragging on.

His leg kept bouncing up and down as he bit on his lip and nodded at the man sitting before him.

"You're creating an earthquake, Hyun." Elsie leans into Hyunjin's ear.

"Oh. Sorry." he chuckles quietly.

"I know you wanna go back to your darling as soon as possible so try to concentrate now and we'll be done sooner." she reminds him and Hyunjin nods, quickly getting himself together, getting back into the groove of the discussion.

As Elsie predicted, the meeting ended succesfully and quickly after that, the event was all but ready minus a few minor details.

After they saw the clients out, Hyunjin turned to Elsie with his eyes big, his hands clasped together in a pleading position.

"Oh I know that face. What is it now?" Elsie chuckles, knowing he's about to beg her for help.

"I need you to do something for me and y/n can't find out. Will you please?"

"As long as it's legal, of course. Eh, who am I kidding, I'd probably help you hide a body if it came to that." Elsie jokes and Hyunjin laughs.

"Thank you, you're a life saver!"

-

"I'm sorry I'm late!" Hyunjin runs into the apartment, finding you in the living room, reading your book.

"Oh, no it's okay. I was entertained." you smile, waving your book shortly and Hyunjin chuckles breathlessly before skipping towards you and leaning down to press a few sweet kisses to your lips.

"Are you hungry?" he asks and you nod.

"Yes, I'm ready to eat."

"Okay, well there is this restaurant here that I used to go to a lot and the food is amazing so I wanna take you there." he says excitedly.

"Should I dress fancy?" you get up and Hyunjin chuckles, his arms wrapping around your waist as he brings you closer to him.

"It's not too fancy." he answers, kissing your jaw.

"Alright, casual fancy." both of you chuckle as you leave to get ready.

Hyunjin paces the living room while he waits, thinking of his request for Elsie.

A wave of excitement and fear runs through his body, giving him happy jitters.

You walk out of the bedroom after some time and Hyunjin's eyes soften as soon as they land on you.

"You look beautiful."

"Thanks, lover. You too." you smile as he leans in to kiss you.

Hyunjin takes his camera, ready to capture the beautiful memories the two of you are about to create in the city.

Your afternoon is filled with new sights, completely different than your little island, where you know every nook and cranny, every piece of earth your feet have touched, every detail of it so dear to your heart and so deeply etched into your mind that you could walk it blind.

It's exciting, the restaurant, the huge buildings, the flashing lights, the people, the city never sleeps, it's the same during the day and the night.

Hyunjin snaps so many pictures that you've lost count of them, his cute happy face making your heart beat faster.

But the excitement slowly starts turning into exhaustion as you keep venturing further into the heart of the city.

Hyunjin, always so perceptive when it comes to you, notices your sudden quietness so he takes your hand and slowly leads you away from the crowd to a park near by.

You find a somewhat quiet bench, some guy playing the guitar and singing not too far away, creating a romantic atmosphere as the two of you sit down.

The sun is already almost gone behind the horizon as your eyes roam around the sky, the beautiful swirls of purple and pink giving way to the darkness slowly creeping in.

Hyunjin wraps his arm around your shoulder, bringing you into him.

"Are you having fun?" he asks with a smile.

"Mhm. I am."

"Love, you can tell me if you're not. I'll call a cab to take us to the apartment immediately."

"No, no, I'm enjoying being outside. It's just that we saw so much today so I'm processing it." you chuckle and Hyunjin giggles.

"Sorry for dragging you everywhere." he smiles sheepishly and you lean in to kiss his cute dimple.

"It's fine. You're so cute when you get excited. And it's only fair that you show me everything as the designated tour guide." you tease.

Hyunjin laughs, briefly reminiscing how you were the tour guide on the island, showing him all the places you found beautiful.

"Let me take you to one last place and then we're done, I promise."

"Lead the way." you smile and after a 20 minute walk, Hyunjin and you arrive in front of a huge building.

"What is it?" you ask.

"You'll see." he leads you behind the building, holding your hand as you walk together.

The back of the building is almost all glass but what captures your attention the most is an exhibit of different art installations.

You lean in to look closer as Hyunjin stands next to you.

"This is the academy I attended." he starts and you look at him.

"Oh." you gasp.

"This is where I spent so much time being scrutinized for every little detail in my art. In a way I'm thankful cause I learned so much. But I often asked myself what was the purpose and at what cost? It almost crushed my soul, and all for that-" he motions towards a painting on the wall, one of a face you don't recognize, "to be on display for everyone."

You may not recognize the face but you recognize Hyunjin's brush strokes.

"I hate that painting." he says quietly.

"Who is that?" you ask.

"Nobody. I made him up in my mind. He's just a no one." Hyunjin's shoulders tense and you're quick to put your hand on his back, gently caressing him to soothe him.

It works instantly as he melts into your touch.

"I-I'm sorry. I don't wanna ruin the mood, I just wanted to show you where I spent lots of time. I sat there a lot." he turns to point at one of the outdoor tables. "Would doodle in my little sketchbook. I made the dumbest drawings in those, just to have some kind of outlet where I could feel like I was in charge, not just doing something that someone else told me to."

"So it was like a diary. Like mine." you remember showing him your sketchbooks when you just met. "You never showed me those."

"My mother found them and she threw them away." he sighs sadly and you lean on him.

"I'm sorry." you whisper.

"It's okay, it's in the past plus I can paint whatever I want now." he smiles and leans in to kiss you gently.

Sharing a kiss with you right in front of the academy feels surreal to Hyunjin, especially when he looks back at it with a pinch of bitterness, remembering the sleepless nights and his mother's sinister words.

"I'm glad we did this." Hyunjin squeezes your hand as you sit in the back of the cab.

"Me too. You gave me a new perspective on the city."

"Yeah, I think we created some nice memories here. It feels better." he agrees.

"Definitely does." you nod.

The next day, Hyunjin took you to another restaurant which was a bit more fancy, something you've never experienced before, making you feel a bit awkward.

Elsie and her husband Peter were already waiting at one of the tables, Elsie waving enthusiastically as soon as she spotted the two of you.

She hugged both of you and after shaking Peter's hand, you sat down and took in the view.

The restaurant was in a building, high up and looking over the city, making all the buildings, cars and people look like Lego pieces from up here.

Most of the food you couldn't even pronounce but Hyunjin was there to recommend you something tasty.

You thought it was going to be an awkward evening, but Elsie and Peter were both nice and you could see how Hyunjin was relaxed with them, having known them for years.

The conversation was light and fun, the food delicious and the wine was wonderful, creating a nice atmosphere around your little table.

Later in the evening, Elsie leaned in closer to you while Hyunjin and Peter conversed.

"I'm so glad Hyunjin decided to take a break on the island." she says.

"That makes two of us." you smile at her.

"He was different before he met you. Well, before he fell in love with you. I really thought he'd never find himself again, I was scared for him. He's really like the brother I never had and seeing him this happy with you makes me so excited for the two of you." your eyes almost tear up at her sincerity.

"Oh thank you, that's really nice of you, Elsie."

"Are y'all talking about me?" Hyunjin smirks.

"Always." you smirk back at him as he rolls his eyes playfully.

Falling back into the conversation, Elsie and Hyunjin start reminiscing their academy days, and hearing how he would sneak out to party just to spite his mother, things he did and said then was like a new side of him you've never known.

He told you a bit about it all before, but Elsie was determined to embarass him, at least a little.

"Remember that time you got so drunk and I had to drive you home? You puked all over my car." she laughs.

"It's not funny." Hyunjin blushes immediately, glancing at you shortly.

"It totally was. You were speaking nonsense. Ah, those parties were crazy. Remember that time we played truth or dare?"

"I do. Sadly." Hyunjin grimaces as you lean in curiously.

"It was nothing but we kissed." Elsie says and even though she already said she sees him like a brother, you felt a little weird that he never mentioned that.

"Ew. It was like I was kissing my sister." Hyunjin makes a disgusted face and she laughs.

"Would not do that again." she chuckles, before looking back at you. "I hope that didn't bother you."

"No, no, it was in the past." you say, a small smile on your face, but Elsie could see it was forced.

"Oh for god's sake!" she grabs your face and your eyes widen, before you can even say something she presses her lips into yours, kissing you shortly before leaning back, leaving you shocked.

"There. I kissed you both, now it's even." her husband laughs, shaking his head as Hyunjin rolls his eyes with a smile, his arm wrapping around you.

"Please, never do that again." he narrows his eyes at Elsie as she lifts her hands up in surrender.

"Thought it'd be fun. Sorry if it was too much, y/n."

"It's- it's fine." you chuckle quietly, feeling a bit embarassed about the whole situation.

The rest of the evening is uneventful and as soon as you arrive to the apartment, Hyunjin's hands and lips are on you.

"I can't believe she kissed you." he chuckles, his lips on your cheeks, his hands roaming on your hips and waist.

"She's a bit... extroverted?" you grimace, making Hyunjin laugh.

"You can say crazy. Cause she is. This is nothing compared to what she usually does, I think she was trying not to make you feel awkward. Which I appreciate, but I still didn't like that she kissed you. Your lips are mine only." Hyunjin cups your face, kissing you before you could even respond.

And he keeps kissing you as he slowly leads you to the bed, both of you falling down on it and never breaking the kiss.

Even though his exhibit was tomorrow, neither Hyunjin nor you got too much sleep, instead your time was spent in each other's embrace, your bodies moving lovingly into one another.

-

You're sleeping on your stomach when you feel Hyunjin's breath on your neck.

His hand lands on your waist, caressing you gently as his lips start traveling down your spine.

You flutter your eyes slowly before opening them and looking out the window.

From your position, you're looking right at the blue sunny sky, a few clouds floating by.

It's quiet and peaceful as Hyunjin keeps showering you with gentle kisses, his lips on your back, your shoulder, your neck and your arm.

He peeks at you and you giggle, making him giggle too before he brings his middle closer to you and you feel his hardness press against you.

"Again?" you chuckle in amusement, after last night's multiple rounds you had no idea how he still wanted you.

"What else do you expect, my flower? When you're so beautiful and loving, I need you close to me always." he caresses your hair, his lips on your neck as he slowly grinds into your backside.

"J-Jinnie. My love." you whimper when his cock slips between your thighs, grinding against your wet pussy.

"Stay like that." he grabs his cock and pushes into you easily, making you moan as you arch your back a little.

"I love you so much." he whispers into your ear as his arms wrap around you, his hips moving into you.

"I love you so much, Jinnie." you echo, grabbing his hand and entwining your fingers with his.

Hyunjin groans lowly into your ear, getting you more wet as his cock slips in and out of you, not giving you his entire length in this position but it's still a nice, satisfying stretch.

His hand releases yours to cup your breast and play with your nipple as you whimper, gripping at the bed while he moves a bit faster.

"You're mine forever, my love." Hyunjin holds you closer still, his hand traveling down over your stomach to your clit as he starts playing with it.

"Only yours." you moan out, your high building up.

Pictures start appearing in Hyunjin's mind, the two of you like this, always and forever, and his thoughts start racing, suddenly imagining something he never really let himself think about before.

His face and ears feel hot, followed by his body burning up and the wave of hotness rushes down into his already hard cock.

His heart starts beating fast as he imagines you carrying his child, the two of you bound together forever, creating something purely out of love.

"Fuck!" he curses, unexpectedly cumming before you as you gasp at the feeling of him filling you up.

"I'm sorry." he squeezes your thigh and you turn around to look at him, seeing his face is completely red, his forehead sweaty and his eyebrows twisted like he's struggling.

"Are you okay?" you reach out to touch his cheek and he melts into you.

"Yeah. Let me finish what I started." he chuckles sheepishly and you giggle as his fingers slide on your folds, gathering his cum and pushing it back in.

Your eyes flutter as you look at him and he wonders if you ever thought about that but for some reason he feels too shy to ask, scared to break the moment as he brings you closer to your edge.

"H-Hyunjin, so good." you whimper.

"Feels good, love?" he smirks, fucking into your sweet spot, making you feel like you're floating.

"Mhm, harder please." you grip onto him and he obliges, fucking into you harder until you squirt all over his hand.

The way he looks at you after, his lips opening and closing a few times makes you chuckle, your head tilting in curiosity.

"What is it, lover?" you sit up, carding your fingers through his hair.

"Nothing. I just love you more than anything." he smiles, making you melt on the spot.

"I love you more than anything too."

-

Despite your protests, Hyunjin takes you shopping after breakfast.

You kept telling him you didn't need anything, that you had everything you wanted and more but he kept reassuring you that it would be fun to walk around the shops and try on clothes, buy some new painting supples while you're at it.

And he was right, it was fun.

Hyunjin decided to find the silliest outfits and make a fool out of himself just to make you laugh.

He also brought you a few dresses to try on, lifting up a pair of lacy underwear too.

"Put that back." you smack his arm as people passed by you, your face becoming red.

"For the record, I think you'd look amazing in it." he smiles cheekily.

"Oh, would I?" you smirk.

"Definitely." he ushers you towards the changing rooms and of course follows you in.

"What are you doing?" you chuckle, putting the dresses aside.

"Helping you out." he smiles behind you, feigning innocence as you look at his reflection in the mirror.

"Mhm. Right. Go wait outside." you say and he pouts.

"I thought you loved me." he teases, sighing dramatically.

"Hyunjin." you narrow your eyes at him, not wanting to be thrown out of a fancy shop because the two of you couldn't keep your hands to yourselves.

"Fineeee." he whines, walking out so you can change.

"What about this one?" you walk out after trying on the last dress.

"It's perfect." he says, a lovesick smile on his face.

"You said that about every single one of them." you laugh.

"Well, because you're wearing them! We'll get all of them." he says and you quickly protest.

"No, please don't spend so much on me."

"Who else would I spend it on?" he says softly, caressing your face as he stands in front of you.

"But-"

"Please, let me do this. I wanna spoil you a little since we're here. It really makes me happy to do that."

"Okay." you give in as he looks at you with puppy eyes and pouty lips.

You kiss him before changing back into your clothes, then making your way to the cash register.

After paying for the dresses you make your way out, the amount of money makes your head spin but Hyunjin really seemed happy to do that, and it made you curious as to why he was so adamant about showering you with gifts when the both of you were into more simpler things, like cooking dinner together or a walk on the sunny beach.

After Hyunjin splurged on new painting supplies, you sat down in a cute café, ordering some cakes and coffee.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Hyunjin chuckles.

"Oh. I was just curious as to why you wanted to buy all those dresses for me. You know I'm happy when you're just next to me. That's the greatest gift to me, Jinnie."

"I know." he softens, taking your hand in his. "It's just what I always imagined when we come to the city. Taking you out shopping, it just goes well with the vibe here and it's not something we can do on the island. It's okay really, I don't care about the price, I'm just glad you found something you like." he adds the last part as you chew on your lip, not used to getting those kinds of gifts.

"Thank you, Jinnie."

"You don't have to thank me." he smiles, kissing your hand.

The door chimes, signaling a new customer coming in and as Hyunjin glances towards the door, you see his face contort.

His eyes widen, his lips pressing together before he frowns.

You look towards the door, staring at the couple who came in until realization dawns on you.

"Shit." Hyunjin curses under his breath, looking down at the table, boring holes into his half eaten pastry.

"Is that-"

"It is. I should've known. They used to bring me here a lot when I was younger." he says quietly, praying to whatever that they don't look this way but life usually does the exact opposite.

"They saw us." you say and Hyunjin's hand immediately flies to touch you, fingers squeezing around yours.

"Are they coming here?" he asks, his voice small and insecure.

You see his mother stare at him, her face that of a shock before going back to the cold expression she wore before. His father seemed to want to come closer but you could see how she held him back.

Her eyes then traveled to you and you mustered up the most murderous stare you could, throwing daggers at her with your eyes and she looked away, lifting her chin up like it was none of her business.

"They're... not." you squeeze Hyunjin's hand and he scoffs.

"Please, let's leave." his voice breaks along with your heart as you watch his eyes fill with tears.

"Of course." you quickly stand up, gathering your shopping bags, thankful you already paid as the two of you made your way to the exit as fast as possible.

Hyunjin is quiet the whole ride to the apartment, you can see him swallowing tears as he avoids looking at you.

You reach out to touch his hand and he moves it away.

"Don't." he whispers, shaking his head. "If you touch me, I'll fall apart." he adds quietly and you nod in understanding.

So as soon as you arrive back to the apartment, Hyunjin throws himself into your embrace, crying into your chest as you hold him and caress him.

"They really threw me aside. Even my father. Like I never meant anything to them." he sobs.

"I'm sorry, my love, I really am." your own eyes tear up as he squeezes you.

"It's not your fault."

"I hope you know you are loveable and I'd never leave you." you say as he looks up at you sadly.

You reach out to wipe his tears away and he smiles a little.

"I don't know what I'd do without you. Thank you for loving me." he holds you even tighter.

"Thank you for letting me love you, Jinnie."

"Someday... I hope we can have a family of our own." he looks at you hopefully and your face becomes hot instantly, butterflies swirling in your stomach as your heart skips a beat.

"I would love that." you whisper, caressing his hair and Hyunjin melts further into your embrace.

The afternoon is spent in each other's arms, soft kisses and touches slowly healing the damaged soul.

The promises that leave your lips are ones you intend to fulfill.

The last evening in the city is wrapped up with Hyunjin's collaboration with two other artists, their works displayed together on the walls of his gallery as people congratulate him.

He looks unreal in his suit, his hair neatly pulled back, his jewelry shiny.

You could hardly believe this was the same man who just cried in your embrace like a wounded child, yet here he was proudly showing off the beauty his heart held and captured on the canvas.

You couldn't be more proud of him, giddy with excitement as the evening progressed into a little celebratory party.

People stayed later than they should've perhaps, leaving one by one as the hours passed by until there was no one left but you and your beloved.

"Whew. That went well." Hyunjin stands by your side, wrapping his arm around your waist.

"I'm so proud of you." you tell him, making his heart swell with happiness and love.

"Feels good when you say that." he leans in, nuzzling against you. "Let's go upstairs, I wanna make love to you."

You giggle and let him lead the way, his hands impatient even in the elevator.

You kiss upon entering the apartment, bumping into furniture and throwing your clothes on the way to the bed.

Hyunjin lays you down gently, taking his time to touch you slowly, his pretty hands running all over your soft skin, squeezing occasionally as he looks at you like he's just seen you for the first time, like he's falling in love with you all over again.

Your cheeks become rosy as you lift your hands up to reciprocate, exploring his skin and muscles.

Hyunjin leans in to kiss you, worshipping your body with his lips until you're squirming for more, needy to have him closer to you, as close as possible.

Your legs wrap around him and he smirks before kissing you, the tip of his cock prodding at you.

"Hyun- please." you whisper against his lips and he grabs his length, slowly sinking into the familiar warmth of you.

"Y/n." he moans your name when you clench around him.

He starts dragging his cock slowly inside you, his eyes becoming teary.

"Are you okay?" you ask cautiously, gently taking his face in your hands.

"Never been happier. I need- I want- ugh." he buries his face in your neck and you almost chuckle at his sudden bashful behavior.

"Tell me what you want, lover." you coo at him.

"I want you to have my baby." Hyunjin says gently as he fucks deep into you and you gasp, clenching at his words.

"Please. I wanna have your baby, Hyunjin." you whimper, becoming incredibly wet at the thought.

"Ah, my flower." his cock twitches, his eyes suddenly squeezed shut as he grips at you.

"Gonna fill you up good, make you all full and round for me." he groans, pressing his forehead against yours, as his tip keeps kissing your cervix.

"P-please Hyunjin!" you go crazy at the thought of that, having a connection so deep with someone you love more than anything, being only his for the rest of your life makes your heart swell and your high approaches quickly as you clench around him and explode.

"Ah, gonna give you everything I have. Gonna make you a mommy." Hyunjin's hips stutter as your nails dig into his back.

"Yes, give me a baby Hyunjin, ah!" you whine, your eyes tearing up as he speeds up, chasing his high and quickly cumming at the thought of you being pregnant.

"Shit." he plops down on you and you giggle, holding him tight.

"Was that too much?" he asks.

"No, it's okay, don't worry." you smile, kissing his hair.

"I really do want that with you. I wasn't just saying it in the heat of the moment." Hyunjin says.

"I know. Me too." you say and he lifts up, hovering over you with a goofy smile on his face.

"You really wanna have my baby?" he asks.

"Yes, I really do." you nod, your heart still beating fast.

"How many babies?" he wiggles his eyebrows and you laugh, smacking his arm.

"Let's start with one and then we'll see." you smile and he chuckles.

"Okay but first I want to do something else once we get to the island." his eyes light up as he looks at you lovingly.

"What?" you ask and Hyunjin quickly shakes his head, sitting up.

"Not gonna ruin the surprise. You're gonna have to wait until we get there." he smirks, pinching your cheek and making you whine as you swat at his hand.

"Not fair."

"We'll be home tomorrow morning." he lays down next to you. "Honestly, I'm done with the city. I miss our little island and our home and our garden." he says, caressing your face as he turns to you.

Your heart flutters as Hyunjin calls your home and garden his too.

"Me too. I can't wait to go home with you."

And Hyunjin can't wait either, his heart exploding for the little surprise he begged Elsie to help him with.

He had planned it for some time, wanting to find the perfect ring for you, the thoughts of making you his wife running through his mind constantly ever since he moved in with you and started living on the island, his heart so full every day, so loved, held so preciously in your hands.

Hyunjin knows he wants to spend eternity with you, forever melting in your loving embrace, his mission to make you happy for the rest of time.

taglist: @moonchild9350 @janepg @velvetmoonlght @hwanghyunjinismybae @jehhskz @laylasbunbunny @porangporangmeong @jeonginslefthand @sapphirewaves @simpforleeknaur @laughatdanger @lixies-favorite-cookie @linavc @quokkacidal @thisaintredwine @m00gyu @yaorzu-blog @skzfelixlove @tajannah-price1 @puccaaak @aft2rsexs @xxkissesforchanniexx @aprilmaejune77 @lilmeowneow @stayjinnie @astrobebba @danihwang882 @kaysungshine @nchhuhi @1810cl @chartrucewhore @babigriin @jisuperboard @alisonyus @minluvly @instantsoulnight @kkamismom12 @its-stayville-forever @s3ungm1nxxl0ve @painterhyunjin @lemonadeboun @eastjonowhere @frehyun

[yumeka-sxf]

Spy x Family merch updates and manga hiatus

I wanted to post about some recent fandom news, starting with the good news: while I mentioned in my 2-year anniversary post that we've been in a dry spell lately as far as SxF content, we just recently got a bunch of new merch/designs! (mostly from various Jump Festa vendors) I'll start with my favorite of the new designs, from HMV's Jump Festa set - Forgers in winter outfits ❤️

Next is the "French casual" set from Chara-Ani~ Bond's little red beret looks so cute!

Another winter outfit set, from Animate. Gah, this one's so adorable, too 😭

Next is merch from Ichiban Kuji. Not sure if it's for Jump Festa as well, but either way, I want the acrylics and the plate!

And lastly, Ensky's merch for Jump Festa - Forgers baking cakes/cookies!

Again for those who don't know, Jump Festa is a yearly event held in Japan in late December that's dedicated to Shonen Jump IPs. SxF will have its own panel with the four Forger voice actors in attendance. We've always gotten exclusive announcements and content at past Jump Festas, so fingers crossed it will be the same for this year! I'm gonna try my best to get some of this merch when it goes on sale in late December. And of course, if I'm able to make high quality scans of these new designs, I will post those as well!

Now onto the bad news, which most of you probably heard about already: the hiatus for the SxF manga has been extended to December 23rd. I believe this is the longest hiatus the series has had so far, and what makes this one concerning is not only that the date kept changing, but also the noticeable silence from Endo and other official outlets.

In the Japanese version of the manga, the last page of each new chapter typically notes the date the next chapter will come out. In the case of the most recent chapter, 107, it said it would release on November 25th, meaning Endo would be taking a break from the bi-monthly schedule, which isn't uncommon. But then, just a few days before the 25th, official English manga outlets like MangaPlus updated the release date to December 9th. It was disappointing since we had all been waiting longer than usual for the new chapter, but again, a second postponement wasn't too alarming...what was alarming though, was the third one that came just yesterday, only a few days after the last. People started noticing that official manga outlets had, again, changed the date for the next chapter to December 23rd this time.

The fandom got stirred up quite a bit when this happened, mostly out of concern for Endo's well being. What made me particularly worried was the fact that, while these hiatuses had been going on for the past month, Endo hadn't posted anything on his Twitter account, which is very unusual considering every month prior he's posted at least a few unique illustrations. Not only that, but the last thing he posted was this oddly cryptic image on October 19th, with text that says "Don't look for me." And he then deleted it soon after, which makes it even stranger.

But thankfully, Shonen Jump must have noticed the pandemonium happening in the fandom, because just a couple hours later, they made this statement on the official Jump+ Twitter, apologizing for the delay and confirming that chapter 108 will indeed come out on December 23rd.

This to me was good news, since their official statement about it makes it unlikely they'll change the date yet again. But some sort of explanation would have been nice, even a vague one. I'm not someone to spread rumors, but my own personal speculation (which could be totally wrong) is that there was some dispute between Endo and Jump. This is the only explanation I can think of as to why his Twitter would suddenly be barren for a month after he posted consistently for so long - my guess is that he has to get approval from Jump for all the illustrations he posts there. I don't know much about the inner workings of the manga industry, but I would assume he has some contractual obligations where he can't freely post stuff on social media without some sort of publisher's approval. It is possible he's just been too busy with Jump Festa and other things, but he's still posted at least a couple times a month even when he's sick or busy, so I don't think that's the main reason. Again, this is just my speculation that could be completely wrong. There's also the fact that they so quickly changed the release date to the 23rd, the day right after Jump Festa ends, which could indicate that Endo's been busy cooking something big to be announced there. Regardless, I'm happy we finally have a new chapter release date that's pretty set in stone now, though I won't feel totally better until we get clear acknowledgment that Endo is okay, either from himself on his own Twitter or somewhere else official.

Anyway, despite this setback, I'm relieved that SxF is still going strong with all the hype for Jump Festa and season 3. Between that and the new chapter right after, we'll be eating good this Christmas!

[offtorivendell]

What if the eight-pointed star is a symbol of so much more than the Starborn; on Wyrd, Chaos, the Cauldron and the Archeron sisters...

Disclaimer: this post is just a theory and makes no claims of being canon. These thoughts are definitely not unique at this point in time - I'll link to existing posts where relevant - but I had both a moment and the motivation to get my thoughts down, so here we are lol. Also, I am aware that the bigger stars in the gif above have more than eight points but as it's very pretty, has crescent moons and little motifs with three tear drops each... it stays. A massive thank you, as usual, to @wingedblooms for always being up for some theorising. 💜

Spoilers: the entire Maasverse is fair game, be careful if you're not up to date.

The eight-pointed star is a symbol that exists across the entire Maasverse, in Erilea, Prythian, Midgard.

Erilea:

The High Priestess walked onto the stone platform and raised her hands above her head. The folds of her midnight-blue gossamer robe fell around her, and her white hair was long and unbound. An eight-pointed star was tattooed upon her brow in a shade of blue that matched her gown, its sharp lines extending to her hairline. “Welcome all, and may the blessings of the Goddess and all her gods be upon you.” Her voice echoed across the chamber to reach even those in the back. - TOG, chapter 37

Prythian:

There, dead in the center of the Illyrian tattoo snaking down his spine, a new tattoo had appeared. An eight-pointed star, whose compass points radiated in sharp lines across and up the groove of his back, twining with the Illyrian markings long inked there. The eastern and western points of the star shot right onto his wings, black blending into black. A matching one, he knew, would be on Nesta’s spine. - ACOSF, chapter 12

Midgard:

Ruhn held out his phone, the picture of the illuminated manuscript glaringly bright in the thick shadows. The illustration of the carved horn lifted to the lips of a helmeted Fae male was as pristine as it had been when inked millennia ago. Above the figure gleamed an eight-pointed star, the emblem of the Starborn. - HOEAB, chapter 21

“You first.” “Not a chance. I want to hear how you hid the fact that you’ve got a star inside you.” He looked down at her chest then, as if he’d glimpse it shimmering beneath her skin. But when his eyebrows flicked upward, Bryce followed his line of sight. “Well,” she said with a sigh, “that’s new.” Indeed, just visible down the V-neck of her T-shirt, a white splotch—an eight-pointed star—now scarred the place between her breasts. - HOEAB, chapter 95

Bryce has told us that she thinks it's the symbol of the Starborn, but I think it could go much deeper - all the way down to Wyrd/Urd.

She found nothing but open curiosity on Nesta’s face. Nesta said, “The scar your light comes from … it’s shaped like an eight-pointed star. Why?” Bryce peered at where the light was muffled by her T-shirt. “It’s the symbol of the Starborn, I think.” “And the magic marked you in this way?” “Yes. When I … revealed who I was, what I am, to the world, I drew the star out of my chest. It left that scar in its wake.” She glanced to Azriel. “Like a burn.” - HOFAS, chapter 12

As @wingedblooms said in her amazing meta earlier this year, she, @silverlinedeyes and I all think that Urd - who we now know is Wyrd - could be Chaos.

In addition to being significant to the Starborn fae within the Maasverse, the eight-pointed star is also known as a compass rose - or rose of the wind - as @wingedblooms has previously discussed. So isn't it suss that 'The Elain' ship (as pictured below, in the ACOTAR colouring book - far right) has what could be an eight pointed star on its sail? One with empty space - as in void of anything - on either side?

In addition to her thoughts about the compass rose, @wingedblooms has previously discussed how SJM's use of the eight-pointed star could also be inspired by the star of Ishtar. Wingedblooms made great points as usual - so I won't rehash them - BUT I have wanted to add for ages that there is also an eight-pointed star called "the Chaos star." 👀

Is the eight-pointed star a symbol of Chaos?

Source.

Aidas told us in HOEAB that it was the Void who sired the Princes of Hel, and Chaos was their dam. While the Chaos star as a symbol of Chaos began its life in a completely separate work of fiction, it has - apparently - been adopted by other authors and fandoms, so there's always the possibility that SJM might be one of those who has done/will do that.

I think it's interesting that after Bryce and co found Helena's cave under Avallen and dream-travelled to Hel, they wound up in the Temple of Chaos, by boat.

“The Temple of Chaos is a sacred place,” Apollion said sharply. “We shall never defile it with violence.” The words rumbled like thunder again. - HOFAS, chapter 59

Each of the Archeron sisters had a ship named for her (as above). Word and Wyrd are homophones of each other, though I may be clowning with the latter point. Ramiel means "thunder of god" - we'll come back to that later - but Apollion's words "rumbled like thunder"... was SJM linking Wyrd and thunder, or Ramiel, here? Will the Archeron sisters travel by boat - sail the Void - to meet, or free, Chaos?

Pushing aside every raging thought and question for the moment, Hunt kept one eye on the exit behind them as they traded the pebbled shore for the smooth temple steps. As they walked up those steps and entered a space that was a near-mirror to temples back home—indeed, its layout was identical to the last temple Hunt had stood in: Urd’s Temple. - HOFAS, chapter 59

But he tried to at least look like it—back straight, shoulders squared—as he and Hypaxia stood before the Under-King in a gray-stoned temple to Urd. The Under-King lounged on a throne beneath a behemoth statue of a figure holding a black metal bowl between her upraised hands. Symbols were carved all over the bowl, continuing down her fingers, her arms, her body. Ithan could only assume it was meant to represent Urd. No other temples ever depicted the goddess, no one even dared—most people claimed that fate was impossible to portray in any one form. But it seemed that the dead, unlike the living, had a vision of her. And those symbols running from the bowl onto her skin … they were like tattoos. - HOFAS, chapter 81

“And she,” the Under-King went on, gesturing to that unusual depiction of Urd towering above him, “was not a goddess, but a force that governed worlds. A cauldron of life, brimming with the language of creation. Urd, they call her here—a bastardized version of her true name. Wyrd, we called her in that old world.” - HOFAS, chapter 81

That "unusual depiction" of Urd in the Bone Quarter sounds eerily similar to the statues in the corridor leading to the library under the House of Wind, as well as the statue of the primal goddess that Nesta found in the same house - the one by which she placed Elain's carved wooden rose.

It's almost like a mix of the two.

“Because the books were full of magic, and things they wanted to keep humans from knowing.” Rhys slid his hands into his pockets, leading me down a corridor lit only by bowls of faelight upraised in the hands of beautiful female statues, their forms High Fae and faerie alike. “The scholars and librarians refused to keep slaves of their own—some for personal reasons, but mainly because they didn’t want them accessing the books and archives.” - ACOWAR, chapter 20

Her gaze shifted to the carved wooden rose she’d placed upon the mantel, half-hidden in the shadows beside a figurine of a supple-bodied female, her upraised arms clasping a full moon between them. Some sort of primal goddess—perhaps even the Mother herself. Nesta hadn’t let herself dwell on why she’d felt the need to set the rose there. Why she hadn’t just thrown it in a drawer. - ACOSF, chapter 56

The Cauldron... the court of thorns and roses?

We now know that Urd is none other than Wyrd, from Erilea - a cauldron of life that is "brimming with the language of creation" (which fits with my theory that Elain might Sing Wyrd, as the language of the universe, through the murky void to See as a parallel to the priestesses in Prythian requiring darkness to commune with the Cauldron), and a force that governs worlds. One with many forms - "high fae and faerie alike"?

Could Chaos actually be Wyrd, given the similarities Hunt noted between the temples of Urd and Chaos?

Chaos the Dam?

The Mother?

But why the notable lack of tattoos - Wyrdmarks? - in the statues at the House of Wind's temple to the Mother, or on the Cauldron itself?

The Cauldron was absence and presence. Darkness and … whatever the darkness had come from. But not life. Not joy or light or hope. It was perhaps the size of a bathtub, forged of dark iron, its three legs—those three legs the king had ransacked those temples to find—crafted like creeping branches covered in thorns. I had never seen something so hideous—and alluring. Mor’s face had drained of color. “Hurry,” she said to me. “We’ve got a few minutes.” - ACOMAF, chapter 62

Could that be the influence of the Daglan/Asteri when they warped the Cauldron so long ago? Wyrd, and Her marks, were removed in the process?

“Unless … ” The boy bounced each finger off his thumb, his hand like some pale, twitchy insect. “Long ago, before the High Fae, before man, there was a Cauldron … They say all the magic was contained inside it, that the world was born in it. But it fell into the wrong hands. And great and horrible things were done with it. Things were forged with it. Such wicked things that the Cauldron was eventually stolen back at great cost. It could not be destroyed, for it had Made all things, and if it were broken, then life would cease to be. So it was hidden. And forgotten. Only with that Cauldron could something that is dead be reforged like that.” - ACOMAF, chapter 18

Before Bryce could contemplate this further, Silene went on, But my mother and father knew they needed the most valuable of all the Daglan’s weapons. Bryce tensed. This had to be the thing that had given them the edge— The snows around Ramiel parted, revealing a massive bowl of iron at the foot of the monolith. Even through the vision, its presence leaked into the world, a heavy, ominous thing. “The Cauldron,” Nesta said, dread lacing her voice. Not a useful weapon, then. Bryce braced herself as Silene continued. The Cauldron was of our world, our heritage. But upon arriving here, the Daglan captured it and used their powers to warp it. To turn it from what it had been into something deadlier. No longer just a tool of creation, but of destruction. And the horrors it produced … those, too, my parents would turn to their advantage. - HOFAS, chapter 19

And isn't it interesting that Papa Archeron carved the aforementioned rose for Elain - out of a dark, heavy wood that a few of us have wondered was ironwood (just like the bed on which each of the Archeron sisters was born) - while the legs of the Mother's iron Cauldron were covered in thorns?

She plucked another figurine from the mantel: a rose carved from a dark sort of wood. She held it in her palm, its solid weight surprising, and traced a finger over one of the petals. “He made this one for Elain. Since it was winter and she missed the flowers.” - ACOSF, chapter 55

Her gaze shifted to the carved wooden rose she’d placed upon the mantel, half-hidden in the shadows beside a figurine of a supple-bodied female, her upraised arms clasping a full moon between them. Some sort of primal goddess—perhaps even the Mother herself. Nesta hadn’t let herself dwell on why she’d felt the need to set the rose there. Why she hadn’t just thrown it in a drawer. - ACOSF, chapter 56

In yet another of her brilliant posts, @wingedblooms theorised that the Cauldron might represent the flower of life; roses* are obviously a flower (shh), so the imagery of the Cauldron being an iron rose on a thorny pedestal is, quite possibly, significant. One of the definitions of the word "court" is "a sovereign's residence." Has the series title "A Court of Thorns and Roses" been referring to the Cauldron all along?!

* Posts involving roses and rose imagery pertaining to Elain are here, here, here and here.

The Ouroboros and Ramiel's black monolith - the "seat" of Wyrd/Chaos?

But let's get back on topic. I have theorised in the past that the Dusk Court - which we now know are the Starborn Fae - may have had four items, or four treasures, similar to the Tuatha de Danann of Irish mythology (my first Dusk Court post leaned heavily into that association).

I suggested that they may have been paired as:

Dagda's Cauldron/The Undry - the Veritas

Spear of Destiny/Spear of Lugh - Narben

Sword of Light/Claiomh Solais - Gwydion

The Stone of Kings/Lia Fail - the Ouroboros

Fragarach - Truth-Teller (as a bonus)

@merymoonbeam has also posted about her own take on the four treasures of the Tuatha de Danann; we agree about the Spear of Lugh and the sword of light, but diverged with Dagda's Cauldron - she suggested it may have been the Cauldron, and I agree that makes sense as well - and the Lia Fail, which she theorised was the stone on top of Ramiel (again, a solid choice that makes sense). Now, I know that the Ouroboros might seem like an odd choice as an in-universe stone of kings, but if you read my four treasures post I still think it fits... but it's not a stone. And Mery's thoughts about the Lia Fail fit, too. Both options made sense to me.

Which brings me back to HOFAS.

Before Bryce could contemplate this further, Silene went on, But my mother and father knew they needed the most valuable of all the Daglan’s weapons. Bryce tensed. This had to be the thing that had given them the edge— The snows around Ramiel parted, revealing a massive bowl of iron at the foot of the monolith. Even through the vision, its presence leaked into the world, a heavy, ominous thing. “The Cauldron,” Nesta said, dread lacing her voice. Not a useful weapon, then. Bryce braced herself as Silene continued. The Cauldron was of our world, our heritage. But upon arriving here, the Daglan captured it and used their powers to warp it. To turn it from what it had been into something deadlier. No longer just a tool of creation, but of destruction. And the horrors it produced … those, too, my parents would turn to their advantage. - HOFAS, chapter 19

As others have suggested already, this sounds like the same black stone monolith that Cassian flew by in ACOFAS.

The conifer forests and ravines that dotted the landscape flowing to Ramiel’s foot gleamed under fresh snow. Empty and clean. No sign of the bloodshed that would occur come the start of spring. The mountain neared, mighty and endless, so wide that he might as well have been a mayfly in the wind. Cassian soared toward Ramiel’s southern face, rising high enough to catch a glimpse of the shining black stone jutting from its top. Who had put that stone atop the peak, he didn’t know, either. Legend said it had existed before the Night Court formed, before the Illyrians migrated from the Myrmidons, before humans had even walked the earth. Even with the fresh snow crusting Ramiel, none had touched the pillar of stone. A thrill, icy and yet not unwelcome, flooded his veins. It was rare for anyone in the Blood Rite to make it to the monolith. - ACOFAS, chapter 3

* A quick aside: conifer forests and ravines surround Ramiel; who smells like night-chilled mist and cedar, and may be associated with/related to Thanatos, the prince of the Ravine? Azriel!

In @wingedblooms brilliant post about Ramiel as the heart of the Night Court, she wondered if the black monolith and Cauldron together may have been a complete depiction of Wyrd, and then something clicked (and now I'm finally getting to the point lol, sorry for the wait); what if the black stone and the Ouroboros were combined as the Lia Fail/Stone of Kings? Or Wyrd/Chaos (as the Queen)? If the Cauldron is the "court" (residence) of Wyrd, and it once "sat" at the base of the black stone Monolith as @wingedblooms suggested, it checks out.

And there, against the far wall of the chamber, snow crusting its surface, its bronze casing … The Ouroboros. It was a massive, round disc—as tall as I was. Taller. And the metal around it had been fashioned after a massive serpent, the mirror held within its coils as it devoured its own tail. Ending and beginning. From across the room, with the snow … I could not see it. What lay within. I forced myself to take a step forward. Another. The mirror itself was black as night—yet … wholly clear. [...] Up close, the surface of the Ouroboros was like a gray, calm sea. Undisturbed. Sleeping. - ACOWAR, chapter 68

So now we have a black monolith as a (hypothetical) statue of Wyrd, with the Ouroboros being held high above Her head... sound familiar?

Her gaze shifted to the carved wooden rose she’d placed upon the mantel, half-hidden in the shadows beside a figurine of a supple-bodied female, her upraised arms clasping a full moon between them. Some sort of primal goddess—perhaps even the Mother herself. Nesta hadn’t let herself dwell on why she’d felt the need to set the rose there. Why she hadn’t just thrown it in a drawer. - ACOSF, chapter 56

But wait, there's (possibly) more...

Despite the plush furniture, the room definitely belonged to a witch: a small crystal altar to Cthona adorned the eastern wall, covered in various tools of worship; a large obsidian scrying mirror hung above it; and the fireplace built into the southern wall had various iron arms, presumably to hold cauldrons during spells. A royal suite, yes, but a workroom as well. - HOSAB, chapter 56

Ithan crossed his arms. On the desk itself sat a statuette of Cthona, carved from black stone. In one arm the goddess cradled an infant to her bare breast. In the other, she extended an orb—Midgard—out into the room. Cthona, birther of worlds. He touched it idly, gathering his courage. - HOFAS, chapter 13

Ithan was carefully setting down a figurine of Cthona giving birth on all fours—the planet Midgard crowning between her legs—when Jesiba’s phone rang. The shrill sound shattered the silence, but Ithan’s sunball reflexes kept him from dropping the fragile marble. - HOFAS, chapter 44

Could the Ouroboros represent the moon associated with the priestesses of the Mother? I mean it's big and round, and I'm a simple person haha. Was there ever a temple to Wyrd/Chaos on - or underneath - Ramiel? Does the black stone monolith represent the goddess/Wyrd, the Ouroboros the moon and the Cauldron the world to which she's giving birth? If black stone/obsidian attracts the princes of Hel, is that because obsidian is a stand in for Void and they are themselves a mixture of Void and Chaos? Is black stone used to depict Wyrd/Chaos because it acknowledges that She is attracted* to the Void? And the Ouroboros, which I have previously thought could be a portal (and hey, it's taller than Feyre, so tall enough), and @wingedblooms theorised it may be a mirror of witch glass... it seems intentional.

* This imagery reminds me of the Embrace of Solas and Cthona.

Sailing the Void

In my post about The Weaver's Song, I theorised that it might be a prophecy suggesting that the three Archeron sisters may sing, or "sail" (for lack of a better term haha) the bat brothers through the Void, either figuratively or (I hope!) literally. Either to Hel or to some other place - I would scream if it's Erilea, as @psychologynerd has theorised for Elain - but ultimately, wherever they go, I think it will be with the goal of finding and freeing Wyrd from whatever (hypothetically) binds Her, thus purifying Her and the Cauldron from the corruption of the Daglan/Asteri.

Which, speaking of, could the Asteri/Daglan have bound Wyrd with wyrdstone as like calls to like? Or did they use a crystal prism - like the one Bryce found in the Autumn King's study - to split Her light into its many facets and bind - tether - each to something or one? Did they create an anti rainbow with wyrdstone to split Wyrd apart, weakening Her?

With a sharp inhale, Bryce rallied her magic. On the exhale, she sent a stream of her starlight into the prism, her power faster than ever before. Starlight hit the prism, passed through it, and— “Huh.” It wasn’t a rainbow that emerged from the other side. Not even close. It took her a moment to process what she was seeing: a gradient beam of starlight. Where the rainbow would have been full of color, this one began in shimmering white light and descended into shadow. An anti-rainbow, as it were. Light falling into darkness, droplets of starlight raining from the highest beam into the shadowy band at the bottom, devoured by the darkness below. Like the fading light of day—of dusk. What did it mean? She was pretty sure her light had been pure before, but now, with Silene’s power mixed in … there was darkness there, too. Hidden beneath. - HOFAS, chapter 39

I've previously spoken about the need for balance to be restored to the universe, and that something may be preventing light (Chaos?) from flowing freely through the Void. If this is true, and it stems from the Asteri's corrupting efforts, it would make sense that purifying their influence on the Mother and Cauldron - who we now know is Wyrd - would help to heal the land, by unchaining the magic, as Feyre hinted in ACOMAF (and @wingedblooms has discussed extensively).

I shivered, craving the moderate winter of Velaris, wondering how it could be so temperate in the far north, but … everything in Prythian was strange. Perhaps when the wall hadn’t existed, when magic had flowed freely between realms, the seasonal differences hadn’t been so vast. - ACOMAF, chapter 23

I have more thoughts on this but I'm getting off track, hopefully I'll post them soon.

I've already discussed the possible significance of 'The Elain' ship flying a sail with the compass rose, or rose of the winds - an eight-pointed star - with nothing (void) on either side. I think it's interesting that 'The Feyre' flies two crescent moons and two diamond-type symbols that represent some of the (hypothetical) wyrdmarks on Wyrd's arms as depicted on the cover of HOFAS, and that 'The Nesta' flies a sail with a dragon and two suns, possibly referring to the dragon Ariadne from HOSAB (in Greek mythology, Ariadne was heavily associated with labyrinths, ie. finding one's way) and the sun being a star with a powerful flame? I know I sound like a broken record, but will the Archeron sisters be like the light from Eärendil's - a mariner! - star contained in the phial of Galadriel, but as the three brothers' most beloved stars? Will they light their way through the Void?

Getting back to the compass rose, Cassian refers to the eight-pointed star as a map for striking with a sword, and we know that light can be wielded as a weapon, as Yrene Towers did in Erilea, to heal Chaol and execute the Valg King Erawan.

“You didn’t ask.” He unsheathed his Illyrian blade. “Enough history.” He drew four lines in the dirt, all intersecting to form an eight-pointed star. “This is your map for striking with a sword. These eight maneuvers. You’ve learned six of them. You’ll learn the other two today, and we’ll start on the combinations.” - ACOSF, chapter 44

Additionally, Nesta suggested that the eight-pointed star was stamped on her heart.

Nesta lifted the sword and executed a perfect arcing slash. Her weight shifted to her legs just as she flipped the blade, leading with the hilt, and brought up her arm against an invisible blow. Another shift and the sword swept down, a brutal slash that would have sliced an opponent in half. Each slice was perfect. Like that eight-pointed star was stamped on her very heart. - ACOSF, chapter 50

This sounds incredibly similar to Bryce carrying a star in her chest - her star tattoo was over her heart - so I would not be surprised to learn that Feyre and Elain had something similar, too. It makes sense. Each Cauldron-Made sister carrying one third of a whole star, to replace Theia's protective magic that Bryce took with her to Midgard (as she didn't return it when she did Truth-Teller, Prythian is currently unprotected). And if the Cauldron is Wyrd's vessel, as it appears to be, this makes Feyre, Elain and Nesta supremely important. Perhaps they're not the "scum" Vesperus suggested at all.

Perhaps they are the wyrdkeys to everything? At least in Prythian, if each sister holds within her one third of a whole star that Wyrd planted Herself.

[orangelemonart]

what is your favorite arc in Naruto? i read something where someone explained the land of waves arc and how some of the themes were abandoned that Naruto hated how ninja was and he wanted to be the change but he did not do that - i did not finish watching shippuden i will but i don't care for spoilers and i wanna know what you think? and if you would change something to reflect back to the whole lets make a better world cause the one before us was terrible if you care about that kinda stuff

I used to feel that way. A million years ago, when the manga's war arc felt endless, I thought the series was abandoning all it's themes.

But after years of thinking way too much about this series, I believeJiraiya's "Quest For Peace" idea creates a through line from Land of Waves to the rest of the series and proves the themes WEREN'T abandoned. Putting this under a read more cause I rambled.

I'm sure the anime is worse because the war arc takes much longer there (I didn't watch the anime as is), so it really feels like we're losing the point for long stretches. But Naruto stays true to his feelings after the Zabuza and Haku stuff through the whole series. He refused to be a tool- his whole thing in that arc- when everyone was telling him to let Sasuke be executed, when they tried to keep him from the war, every thing or flashback about Nagato or Jiraiya's concept of a quest for peace. Hell it's WHY he was able to reach Obito. It's what he yaps about in every Talk-no-Jutsu

I think the entire series strongly supports that idea that Naruto would keep his vows to everyone he T-n-Jed about finding the best, least-violent solutions to conflict and oppression, all flowing from his Land of Waves experience. They're practically OVEREXPLAINED, not abandoned, that's why people make fun of T-n-J so much. And from what little I know about the spin-off series, his whole quest-for-peace/not-giving-up-not-being-a-tool/fix-everything/my-own-ninja-way is why he's busier than other kages, and why the antagonists are ninja moon aliens. Naruto is maintaining world peace, the only place left for villains is OUT OF THIS WORLD.

Anyway that's probably why the 5-Kage Summit is my favorite arc. A lot of (DUMB) people hate it because they think "well the whole village likes Naruto now, that should be the end of the series!", failing to realize Naruto's real goal has changed from being leader so everyone would treat him better, to being a leader who makes the world better for others. He spends that arc grappling with just how difficult that is through the microcosm of how he can't even do that for Sasuke, meanwhile Sasuke is dealing with the emotional ramifications of the cycle of revenge and CONSTANTLY being used as a tool by others. I think that arc strengthens the themes and character development.

I don't think it's perfect, of course. I think there's some muddiness in "not being a tool" and maintaining the ninja system. These things should have been addressed on a world-scale, not just a Sasuke-scale, after chapter 698. There should have been at least a cursory sentence about how Naruto as hokage is working hard to end oppression and cycles of revenge around the world, how even though he hasn't fixed everything, he isn't giving up or backing down! That's all it'd take, but nooooo we had dedicate the entire last chapter to introducing spin-off characters instead of addressing the themes of the series. The 5 Great Nations have more amicable summits, that's all we got.

I have a comic about what I would do differently, SOMEDAY I'll finish coloring it.... someday......

[alexanderwales]

I finished the rest of Save the Cat almost in a single sitting, not because it was particularly riveting, but because I had time to kill, so this pseudo-liveblog is at an end.

Chapter 6 and 7 are basically the same, collections of small tricks and tips. Neither of them are terribly helpful, and all the tricks have terrible shorthand names like "Pope in a Pool". There's very little in the way of any thematic cohesion to these bits of advice, and no grand theory of the Laws of Storytelling emerges, in spite of the laws being invoked a number of times.

The advice itself is, I think, generally good:

give the reader something to root for early on to kickstart investment

spice up exposition with something entertaining

only one kind of magic per plot

don't tell a story that requires too much setup

don't tell a story with too many moving parts

include a ticking clock

have character arcs

keep the scope limited to the characters we care about

make the hero proactive

show, don't tell

make the bad guy very bad

the plot should go faster the further in it goes

use the whole spectrum of emotion

make sure each character has a distinct voice

make sure desires are "primal"

give characters something that makes them stand out

I don't endorse this whole list, and I especially don't endorse the way that Blake Snyder talks about them or the examples that he gives. And if I endorsed the list, then I would include a lot of caveats, and some general principles of storytelling that should be followed, rather than these specific pieces of advice, which are all conditional. Like ... okay, here's an example:

Exposition is a broccoli that the audience doesn't want to eat. There are very different ways of dealing with this, but we can start with "minimize exposition" as the first "law" of storytelling, and from there, we have different strategies:

Spruce up the exposition, making it into a mini-story, delivered in an entertaining way, so that people aren't bored.

Run something alongside the exposition so that people aren't bored, like sight gags in a comedy or an action scene in a thriller.

Have the exposition delivered through implication and clues, rather than stated outright, like having a character limp rather than explaining to the audience that they were wounded in the war. This is show, don't tell, and it's harder than it seems.

But while Snyder lays out some of this advice, it's all in different sections even though it's dealing with the same fundamental problem, and I'm not sure that he really understands that. If he does understand it, then he's not making that clear for the reader.

My thesis is that to understand storytelling, you want to understand root issues and classes of solutions. I have not written a book on writing, nor do I think there's a market for that, nor do I think I'm qualified, but it's the kind of thing that I would strive to deliver. There are a lot of writing problems that are parallel to each other, and there are a lot of structural elements that are mirrors of each other, so why not try to put it all together that way?

But Snyder makes basically no attempt to put even very related problems together, it's just little bits of advice to gnaw at the most common problems, and ... maybe that's fine, but it felt lazy to me.

Chapter 8 was the final chapter, and was mostly about trying to sell screenplays. This was irrelevant to me, but kind of interesting, and also made me feel like Blake Snyder is a better marketer and salesman than a screenwriter, and also maybe just got lucky to be working at a time when scripts were getting huge bidding wars for no good reason. The efficient market hypothesis gets clowned on again, I guess.

I'll probably write up some overall thoughts, a short review: I think I am unsuited to liveblogging because I go long. But the even shorter version is that I think I picked up a few things that were interesting to think about, and while Blake Snyder is a hack, he's an entertaining writer.

[peach-top]

❝𝙑𝙄𝙎𝙄𝙊𝙉❞

➤ ACT I. | CHAPTER III.

➤ FLOWER CROWNS

“White Lily Cookie! His majesty told us about your awakening!” Silverbell beamed with excitement upon hearing the news. “Are you ok? How are you feeling?!”

“Silverbell Cookie. Sorry, I'm still trying to get used to this.” White Lily Cookie frowned.

The silver haired male nodded with understanding, “It’s ok. We'll leave you alone to catch your breath. You can call me whenever you need me.”

“Thank you…” White Lily nodded with a soft smile on her face. Silverbell gives the female a grin before leaving her with her thoughts. White Lily’s smile turned upside, replacing it with a frown. She gripped on the railing of the bridge and looked down at her reflection in the water.

“Dark Enchantress Cookie is still out there…So, why am I here…?” White Lily whispered. “My soul jam…they're gone. If I remember correctly, they were scattered into pieces. Some pieces of my memories are still blurry.”

“...” The white haired female then looked up at the night sky, “I wonder…”

White Lily Cookie stares at the moon that appears to never be a full moon. It's just a crescent moon. Why? It never seems to show the full moon for a long time now. However, White Lily remembers reading in the book that the moon was broken by a cookie with a work of dark magic that no other had seen before.

There's these times when a blood moon appears once a year. White Lily always witnessed it when she had the time just to study about it and the cookie responsible for it. However, she was forbidden to learn any further because of risk.

But the moon doesn't matter anymore. It's [Y] she's wondering about. Someone who has awakened her with the work of his magic and life jam. The magic aura surrounding him is a familiar feeling. She never encountered this sort of magic, but it gives her a feeling that she has met him before…or did she?

❝i envy you…white lily cookie…❞

White Lily gasped at the unsettled voice echoed in her head. She then jumps when she hears someone approaching her. It was [Y], who happened to arrive at the bridge.

“Oh, it's you. Shouldn't you be with Elder Faerie?” White Lily asked.

“Ah. Elder Faerie has important matters to attend to. We'll have a tour another time. I've come here to explore the kingdom myself until I've found you here.” [Y] said. “Am I interrupting something? Hope I'm not disturbing you or anything.”

“...N…no. I was just deep in thought…” White Lily mumbled before turning back at the water.

“Oh, then I'll leave you to it, then.” The taller male said as he was about to walk away.

“Um…About that life stone you're carrying…” The white haired female spoke, stopping the male mid-step. “How does it work?”

“The life stone? Oh, they keep me alive. Millennial Tree found me and revived me with the help of this stone.” [Y] explained. “If it was to be shattered, then I'll crumble. I don't remember much after I was given a new life under a new name.”

“A life stone that kept you alive? I never thought something like this could work on a cookie…” White Lily blinked owlishly. “What is it like to carry a life stone attached to your body?”

“Not sure, but it felt great. Without the life stone, I wouldn't be able to see the world.” [Y] smiled gently. “Giving a second chance to life felt great. Learning magic, making both animal and cookie friends alike, and learning things that I've never experienced before. There's so much to learn about.”

“...I hope you won't suffer a similar fate like I did.” The white haired female muttered. The taller male wasn't able to hear it, “Huh? Did you say something?”

“It's nothing…” The white haired female frowned before looking back at the water.

“Say…what are you gonna do now that you're awake..?” The taller male asked.

“...I’m not sure. I think I should stay here to clear my thoughts. I don't think I'm prepared to go face-to-face with my friends, wherever they are…” White Lily said.

“Take your time. It will take some time to be able to open up to others once again.” [Y] stated as butterflies started flying around him. “How about we hangout? We'll see what can help you with stress.”

“...You are so kind…You reminded me of Pure Vanilla Cookie…” White Lily mumbled.

“...?”

· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

Elder Faerie frowned at the news he just received, the flower was getting more and more aggressive. It wasn't like this until [Y] arrived at the Faerie Kingdom. The flower was trying to escape. Elder Faerie knew it was trying to escape to its master.

“It's getting worse and worse. We don't know how to silence it any longer…!” One of the faeries whined.

Elder Faerie wanted to test this theory. He spotted [Y] with White Lily and grabbed the sealed flower then faced it towards the [h] haired male. To his surprise, the flower stopped.

“I see. So, it wanted to return to their master…” Elder Faerie mumbled.

· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

White Lily seated at the garden a few inches away from [Y]. She watches as the taller male tries to create a flower crown while being surrounded by animals.

“I've heard that flower crowns symbolize peace, so I thought it might help you to relax in peace.” [Y] stated while holding a flower crown made out of white lilies. “With white lilies symbolizing purity. What do you think?”

“...I think it's lovely…” White Lily smiled softly. [Y] doesn't know whether it's a forced smile or not. He offered the crown to White Lily and placed it on her head. He then smiles genuinely, “It looks great on you. It suits you. You look like a beautiful queen.”

The female blushes at the compliment, “...I…I don't consider myself as a queen.”

“I'm sure you'll make a great queen for the Faerie Kingdom. You put up so much effort in sealing the silver tree.” The taller male stated. “The faeries here look up to you because of your heroic act.”

“They do, don't they?” White Lily mumbled. [Y] nodded, “They sang a song for you while you were asleep to show their gratitude. You should at least be happy that you're still being accepted by them even after what you've done.”

“...Do you really think I can still undo what I've done?” White Lily asked.

“That's something I'm not sure about, but hope you'll be able to find a solution to that…” [Y] replied. “Just don't be hard on yourself. Overthinking things isn't good. It'll cause more stress, you know?”

“He's too kind. Just like Pure Vanilla Cookie. I hope he's safe…” White Lily thought.

➤ chapter ii.

➤ chapter iv.

the flower (old)↓

[ripdragonbeans]

Love In The Darkest Of Places // Modern!Aemond x Reader

Chapter 4: Freedom

Summary: You and Aemond are in college now, which presents itself with its own new challenges. One you didn't expect, however, was cutting off your family.

TW: unhealthy family dynamic

Masterlist

Chapter 3 // Chapter 5

The thought of jeopardizing your relationship with Aemond was too scary to even consider. As much as you wanted to say yes, to be his, you knew there was no way to guarantee you would stay together. At least with this friendship there was no way of messing it up. Or at least you hoped. Your heart and soul yearned for him but your brain was terrified. The risk that came with being in a serious relationship was too great, according to your brain. Your heart and soul said to hell with it, to jump into the deep end, but in the end you were too afraid.

For the rest of high school that’s how you two were: best friends. Never once did either of you waver. Not once did either of you date. There was an unspoken arrangement that you would wait for each other. Of course, since Aemond made his move after that regrettable double date, it would be up to you.

“Do you wish we could be together?” you asked him one night. You were spending the night in his dorm room. It wasn’t the first time you’ve asked the question.

“You know my answer,” Aemond replied, never looking away from the television screen.

It was movie night and as per usual, you stayed in his dorm. High school seemed so far away yet it was almost as though it was yesterday. The double date with Cregan had always stayed in your mind. That Monday afterwards did, too. 

“I feel like I'm playing you,” you admitted to Aemond. 

“If you actually were, I don't think you'd be worried about it.” He looked at you and smiled. “I'll wait however long and if we only stay friends then that's okay too. You're my best person in the world. Together forever, remember?”

“Yeah, together forever.”

Silence.

“What if…” you started, “what if there's someone else out there for you?”

“The only person I want is you. If someone else finds me then maybe you ran out of time.”

“What if… what if I find someone else?” 

“Then I'll let you go. I'll do whatever to make you happy.” Aemond reached for your hand and squeezed it. He looked out the dorm window. “It's getting late. Do you want me to walk you back to your house or?” He left the question hanging.

“I think I'll go back to my house alone” you replied. It hurt your heart to leave him but you did so anyway.

Aemond’s face fell when you gave his answer. He simply nodded and got up to let you out of his dorm. 

“You know I -” you began to say.

“Don't worry about it,” Aemond said with a tight smile. “I understand.” 

And with that he closed the door.

You couldn't help but press your forehead against the door. You knew you should head back to your own dorm but you couldn't bring yourself to do so. Your feet refused to move and the thought of leaving Aemond alone in his room hurt your heart. 

So you let yourself stay there. 

You could hear Aemond through the door a tiny bit. You wondered if he felt as conflicted as you. A small mirthless laugh left you. Of course he felt conflicted. You were the one making him wait. Taking a deep breath, you pulled yourself up and headed out of the dorm and to your family���s house.

Unlike Aemond’s loving family, yours refused to pay for a dormitory. You had to walk or grab a ride home at the end of every day. Normally you would ask Aemond or Helaena for a ride but you wanted to be alone right now. Asking Aemond after this movie night was out of the question as well. So instead, you basked in the brisk cold night as you made your way back to the house.

When you arrived at the house you didn't bother announcing your presence. It wouldn't have been met with anything kind anyway, if it even received a reply. While the interior was warm and welcoming to everyone else, it was cold and lonely for you. Stepping inside the building, you toes off your shoes and shrugged off your coat before retreating into your bedroom. It was your safe haven in this place. 

Plopping down on the bed, you let out a groan. The day had been going perfectly well until you told Aemond it felt as though you were playing him. You were just too scared for yourself and for him. You didn't want either of you to get hurt in any way. Gods forbid the pain is caused by you or him. You hugged a pillow, wishing it was Aemond. Soon enough, sleep found you.

You walked down a cold, empty hallway. Your footsteps echoed against the walls. You didn't know where you were going; you were just walking. One thing you did notice, however, was the deep pit in your stomach. Something was going to happen but you didn't know what. And it would be something big. 

Soon, the walls became grand. Wallpaper were plastered on and large portraits of your family lined them. Your parents looked regal, of course. If it were another time you thought they would even be royalty. Then came the portraits of your brothers, Jace and Luke. 

Ever since Luke took Aemond's eye, you’ve cut him off. You avoided him, refused to talk to him, and have even left buildings if you found out he was there. There was no love in your heart for Luke, even if you were siblings. You could never forgive him for what he did. Yet here, in his portraits, he looked like a carefree child. So innocent. So wrong.

Jace’s portraits seemed accurate, in your opinion. He was still as charming as ever but you could see underneath him, how he loathed you, how we always craved the attention from mother and father. You smiled cruelly at that thought. He would never have their full attention. It was always on themselves but you let Jace believe that maybe one day their focus would be on him. To an extent you pitied Jace but not enough to make room in your heart to love him. He did nothing while Aemond was hurt and he constantly ridiculed you. No, there was no love.

Soon, there were pictures of Mrs. Alicent, Mr. Criston, Aegon, Helaena, and Jason. Unlike the photos of your family, these were candid, happy photos. They were real and genuine. No fake smiles or practiced poses; just silly faces and love. As you approached each of their photos, you couldn't help but feel joy. You were so happy for them and you wished desperately to be part of that. 

But something was off.

In the bundle of photos with Aemond was another person. Their face was covered or they were always facing away from the camera. Aemond was either grinning ear to ear or looked at that person with…love. The person in question had long, dark, flowing hair. You didn't recognize this person but it did something to your stomach. A pit dropped and it made you want to throw up. 

You kept walking down the hallway.

Suddenly, you heard laughter. Laughter and voices. You pinned down Aemond's but didn't recognize the female one. You didn't like this one bit. Could there be someone else for Aemond?

No. No, that can't be.

You raced down the hallway to find Aemond and this mysterious woman locked in an embrace.

“Aemond?” You asked quietly.

Aemond turned around. “You're too late,” he said. His voice echoed. “I waited for you but you took too long. I found someone else.”

“No!” You cried. You had woken up in a cold sweat. Looking around, you tried to ground yourself. There is no hallway, no portraits or pictures, no Aemond with some other woman.

You sighed as you heard someone come up to your door. You had an inkling it was one of your brothers.

“Hey, can we talk?” Jace knocked on your door.

You opened it only to reveal your older brother. “What do you want?”

He looked down at his feet. “I wanted to apologize. I've never been the best big brother and that's on me.”

“Okay…” you were confused as to why he was doing this.

“I was talking with my girlfriend, Sara, and she said that we needed to talk so here I am.”

You crossed your arms and leaned on the doorframe. “Talk about what?”

Jace shrugged. “Everything, I guess.”

“...Okay. Give me a minute to get dressed and we can go to the Dorne Café.” You closed the door behind you and got ready.

Within ten minutes you and Jace were out of the door and in his car. The ride to the café was silent. It wasn't tense or anything, just quiet. When you arrived at the café there were a decent amount of people there but not too many. After both of you placed your orders you went to claim a table outside.

Sitting across from each other, you waited for your brother to say something first. You simply looked at each other. In contrast to you, he was waiting for you to speak first. Once again in your life, you were at a stand still with your brother.

Not being able to stand the silence, you broke it. “Okay, I'll bite. You, Luke, mother, and father never wanted to do anything with me. I was always on the side and when I wasn't I was teased and ridiculed.”

“That’s a pretty heavy way to start this,” commented Jace.

“Well, you wouldn't talk first, so I did.”

“I teased you because I was mad. I was upset that you were closer with Aegon, Helaena, and Aemond and not with us. You're my sister. You should've been with me and not them.”

“You weren’t the most welcoming type when it came to me, Jace.”

“That's because I didn't know!”

“That’s a shitty excuse. We could have been closer. We could have had a better relationship.”

“I know and I want to fix it!”

You sighed and put your head on your hands. “Jace, it might be best for us to just go our separate ways. Damage was done and it was constant. I just can't forget all that.”

“Yes, you can. We can start over, pretend that nothing ever happened.”

“But it did happen. My childhood was filled with your constant teasing and mother and father’s neglect. It's forever burned in my mind.”

Jace threw his hands up in the air. “Then what do you want me to do?”

“I don’t know, Jace.” You could feel a lump growing in your throat. You didn't know what to expect on your way to the café but it wasn't this.

He nodded his head. “Okay, then.” He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I wasn't a better brother. You deserved to be treated better.”

“I know.”

Silence enveloped the air. No one talked. Only distant conversations and cars speeding by were heard by the two of you.

“I think it’s best if I just go to Helaena’s,” you whispered.

“What about us?”

“What about us? We're ruined Jace. We were never truly brother and sister.” You paused. “I was planning on moving in with Helaena, anyway, she needs a roomie for her apartment. I'll pack up my things over the next few days and I'll be out of everyone's hair.”

“If that's what you want.”

“I'm sorry, Jace. I truly am.”

Both of you were slow to pick up your trash. It was as though you were savoring these last few moments. When Jace dropped you off at Helaena’s apartment he walked you to the door.

“Maybe one day we’ll get better,” he said.

“Maybe.” You were hesitant but you gave him a hug. “Goodbye, Jace.”

Once he left and his car had gone out of view, you knocked on the door.

“Coming!” Came Helaena’s dreamy voice. She opened the door and wrapped you in a big hug. After letting you go she said, “I read your text, I'm so excited for you to move in! It'll be just us. No boys to stink up the place.”

“Believe me, I'm so excited.” You tried to smile but it faltered.

Helaena furrowed her brows. “What's wrong?” She pulled you into the apartment.

Once you were seated on the couch you told her everything that had transpired between you and Jace. 

“It was a goodbye and it was upsetting but it was also freeing in a way.”

Helaena nodded her head. “I understand.”

“I’m not looking forward to moving all my stuff out. I just don’t really want to go back there.”

“I’ll be with you every step of the way, I promise,” Helaena said. “And we can ask Aemond and Aegon to join us, too. They would keep your family away from us.”

You laughed mirthlessly. “You know, my mother still thinks Luke was in the right. She thinks that Aemond deserved to lose his eye. Sometimes I can’t believe I’m related to her.”

“That’s sick,” Helaena agreed.

“Gods, what even is my family?”

“A mess. They’re a giant mess. But,” she paused. “You have us. You have me, my mother and father, and Aemond and Aegon. We will always be with you.”

“I used to be so scared that you guys would push me away; especially after Aemond lost his eye.”

“Why would you think that?”

You shrugged. “I felt responsible and guilty. I blamed myself and believed that you guys would later blame me, too.”

“Don't be ridiculous. That will never happen. I promise.” Helaena pulled you into a hug.

Gratefully, you returned it. “I talked to Aemond this morning.”

“And?”

“I'm just so torn, Hel. I want to be with him but I don't want to risk our friendship.”

“You know I think you should take the leap but I can't make that decision for you. You have to do it yourself.”

Your thoughts moved to your dream. “What if there's someone else for him? Someone better than me?”

“I honestly can't see Aemond with anyone else but you. You two have been through it all. And,” she paused and obviously glanced at your collar bone. “You're still wearing the necklace after all these years.”

You brought your hand up to rub the gem between your fingers. It was an action that you developed whenever you got stressed. 

“Look, you even mess with the necklace whenever something is wrong because it calms you. Aemond calms you.”

“It’s all so much.”

“You know what I think, but I want you to do it on your own terms. If you need more time, then take it.”

You took Helaena’s hands in your own. “Thank you.”

She squeezed your hands before letting them go to clap them together. “Now, shall we start moving in now or tomorrow?”

You huffed out a laugh. “I think tomorrow will be fine. We can give the boys a heads up tonight and just chill.”

“I love that idea.” She looped her arm through yours and led you to your soon to be room.

Moving in with Helaena was a breeze, thankfully. You didn’t have much to take out from your parents’ house. Jace actually stepped in to help a little bit but said nothing when doing so. When you left with your things, all he did was give you a small nod. 

You had officially cut ties with your family.

You were free.

The air felt fresher. The grass was greener. Your mother, father, and brothers no longer loomed over you. Taking a deep breath, you smiled as you looked around your room. No one would steal anything from you. You had a whole apartment you shared with one of your closest friends. Everything was right. Everything except the hole in your heart.

Pacing the room, you went through the war in your head, trying to choose if you should talk to Aemond or not. The worst he could say was no but that would be too much. Even though the chances of him saying no is almost nonexistent. Still, the risk was there and that terrified you. Putting your gears aside, you dialed Aemond’s number and called him. 

The phone barely rang before Aemond answered.

“Are you okay?” he immediately asked.

“Yeah, I'm okay. I guess I just wanted to talk to you,” you admitted. 

“What's up?” He asked again. When you didn't respond he said, “I know something is wrong. You don't call me unless something is really messing with you.”

Sighing, you nodded your head until you realized he couldn't see you. “Can I come over?”

“Yeah, always.”

You could hear his smile. Aemond always loved it whenever you came to his dorm.

“I'll see you in a bit, Aems.”

“In a bit,” he repeated.

When you asked Helaena to drive you to Aemond's dorm she gave you a knowing smile.

“Are you finally going to tell him?” She asked you.

“I…I don't know but it's in the realm of possibilities,” you said. It was true. You played with the idea of telling him today but you were still scared.

The car ride to Aemond’s dorm was uneventful. Helaena gave you words of encouragement and tried her best to keep you calm. 

“You're going to be okay. Both of you. I've never seen two people who meshed as well as the both of you. Whatever bond you have with him is unbreakable,” Helaena told you.

You wrung your hands together. “Yeah.”

When Helaena pulled up to Aemond’s dorm building he was already out in front waiting for you. His tall frame making him stand out in the emptiness of the walkway. With his hair down and flowing slightly with the breeze he looked ethereal. You could never get over how beautiful he was. 

When Aemond saw you, a smile brightened up his face. You smiled back. It was going to be a good day, you thought to yourself. Stepping out of Helaena’s car, you gave her a quick thank you and tried to control yourself as you walked to Aemond. As soon as you were by his side he pulled you into a hug.

“You've had me worried these last few days,” he admitted.

“And why's that?” You asked him.

“You've pulled away a bit.” He was quiet.

Your eyebrows pinched together. “What do you mean?”

“Once you moved in with Helaena you didn't call or text me much and didn't offer to visit until now.”

“Oh.” You couldn't tell him everything. Not yet. “There's been a lot going on.”

“You don't have to take that on alone,” Aemond reminded you. “I'm here for you. Together forever, yeah?”

You smiled. “Together forever.”

That night you spent the entirety of it with Aemond. You put on a movie, popped popcorn, and simply enjoyed each other's company. It was as though there was no lingering feelings between you two. It was just you guys. Anyone from the outside would have assumed you were together, and gods, did you wish it was true. Aemond, for sure, wished it was. 

You and Aemond say against the wall on his bed. His arm was casually around you while you snuggled in close. At some point in the night he pulled his hair up in a messy bun. When you tried to braid his hair he swatted your hands away with a goofy grin on his face. 

“Just once!” You pleaded.

“You've already done it once!” Aemond laughed.

“When?” You put your hands on your hips.

Aemond sighed then explained, “Back when we were fourteen. You convinced me to let you braid my hair. It was in knots afterwards.”

Crossing your arms over your chest you muttered, “It wasn't too bad.”

“We needed Helaena’s help.”

Nudging Aemond with your shoulder you told him, “Fine. I won't braid your hair tonight. But let's do something!”

“What if I braided your hair?” 

You raised an eyebrow. “You know how to braid hair?”

“There's a first time for everything,” he shrugged. “It's your turn to have knots,” he bumped you back with his shoulder.

You huffed, “Fine,” and plopped yourself in front of him.

When Aemond ran his hands through your hair, you couldn't help but lean back into him. He gently massaged your scalp before carefully dividing your hair into three sections. 

“Are you sure you know how to do this?” You teased.

Aemond tugged on your hair, sending shivers down your spine. “We're about to find out,” he whispered in your ear.

You couldn't help but flush at his words. Aemond braiding your hair shouldn't be as intimate as this and yet it was. Your relationship has changed since you've both moved on to college. Now, you simply danced around each other.

As Aemond braided your hair, he would tug on it every now and then, causing a bolt of pleasure to shoot through your stomach. 

“Am I hurting you?” Aemond asked when he tugged it for the fourth time.

“No,” you let out breathlessly.

When Aemond finished braiding your hair, you turned around only to find each other nose to nose.

“Aemond?” Whispered.

His violet eye bore into yours before quickly dipping down to your lips and back. “Yes?”

You looked at him and slowly leaned forward. Meeting you in the middle, Aemond captured your lips in his. It was soft. It was tentative. For a second you froze, not knowing what to do, but then Aemond reached up to cup your face and you kissed him back. You moved so you were on your knees in front of him, just now slightly taller than him sitting down. His hands went to your waist and he held on like he never wanted to let go. 

Sitting back on your haunches, you placed your hands on his shoulders. Aemond tensed up slightly but relaxed quickly. The kiss wasn't heated or rushed. It was very slow and calm. You were both waiting and now you finally had each other.

[bulkyphrase]

Post-CACW Stony: a fic rec list

I've been on a Captain America: Civil War kick lately, and since I know that Steve-friendly CW Stony fic can be hard to find, I've put together a rec list!

I am thoroughly team cap, but these range from being anti-accords to just not getting into the issue, and all are Steve-friendly as long as you can accept a lot little loving Steve-whump.

Atlas by nanasekei (@elcorhamletlive) (Not Rated, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, 11,505 words)

Summary: They don't hear each other.

Eigengrau by vorkosigan (@the-vorkosigan) (Teen And Up Audiences, 16,811 words)

Summary: Tony is captured; he doesn't know by whom, or why. He doesn't know how much time has passed since. What he knows is, he can now hear something in the adjacent cell, and that 'something' sounds a lot like Steve Rogers.

Nights When the Wolves Are Silent, and Only the Moon Howls by Cluegirl, Defiler_Wyrm (@cluegrrl) (Mature, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, 77,612 words)

Note: has a Stucky element too, but the relationship between Steve and Tony is the main focus.

Summary: “Could you drop all that stoic shit and be my freaking-the-hell-out wingman for just like, five seconds here?” Steve wasn’t sure he could think of anything he wanted less to do than to freak out about his wounds just then though, so he reached across his chest and gingerly patted Sam’s clenched knuckles. “It’ll be fine,” he promised, believing it. “Serum’s handled worse.” “You know, I actually believe you,” Sam allowed after a long second of glaring. “Which is deeply alarming, considering how much of your connective tissue I’ve touched in the last 4 hours. Now you wanna tell me what Russoff’s men did to you that made it look like you got mauled by a bear?” Steve flinched, then breathed the memory down to size. “Not a bear,” he murmured. “Wolves.”

More below the cut!

(trust me when i say) i'll get back to you by machi_kun (@machi-kun) (General Audiences, 1,549 words)

Summary: “Me and Rogers are not on speaking terms anymore.”

An Infinite Number Of Monkeys At Typewriters (Or, Steve and Tony Finally Get It Right) by JenTheSweetie (@jenthesweetie) (Mature, 18,864 words)

Summary: Tony blinked up at the face staring down at him. This was impossible. This was definitely 100% not possible, he had not just started giving a good morning handy to - “Steve?” After the events of Civil War, Tony and Steve wake up in bed next to each other in an alternate universe. It goes about as well as you'd expect it to.

And Miles to Go Before I Sleep by Cluegirl (@cluegrrl) (Mature, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, 152,765 words)

Summary: They all made mistakes. They all have regrets. They all have nightmares, suspicions, and questions they'd like to ask. And they all left business behind them that was never quite finished. This is the story of how the Avengers ask those questions, get their answers, and come together like fucking adults to make things right again.

Bring Him Home by seventymilestobabylon (@seventymilestobabylon) (Explicit, 13,769 words)

Summary: Tony misses Steve very badly after the Accords. Some days he deals with it better than other days. (a fic featuring the booty call flip phone, minor kidnappings, and time jumps between chapters because the election has been happening and my brain has been too mush to make a proper plot)

Conjugal Visits by xtricks (Explicit, 4,252 words)

Summary: AU: Steve Rogers gets captured fairly soon after Civil War and sent to the Raft. Tony discovers that trying to appease your enemies doesn’t work and ends up a prisoner too.

Down Came the Rain by captainoutoftime (@captain-outoftime) (Explicit, 75,274 words)

Summary: A mission goes badly for Natasha, who is discovered de-aged to three years old. She recognizes no one, but every kid knows Captain America. When Tony grudgingly makes a call, Steve makes good on his promise to answer. Steve has to work together with Tony to take care of a traumatized child and figure out how to turn their itsy bitsy spider back into a Black Widow. Neither of them really want to talk about what happened in Siberia, but living in close quarters, they have to come to some sort of peace - even if it means addressing some feelings they'd rather not admit to having. As they work together to solve the problem of a re-emerging Red Room, Steve uncovers something he never expected to find again: family.

Hating Steve Rogers by nanasekei (@elcorhamletlive) (Not Rated, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, 16,243 words)

Summary: The thing about hating Steve Rogers is that it shouldn’t be easy - but it really, really is.

I Have Questions by YourFadedGlory (HisNameWasAce) (@yourfadedglory) (Not Rated, 2,808 words)

Summary: There is only so much that Steve can carry. His legs quiver and his heart aches, he looks skyward, and in a startling moment of clarity he lets the shield go. Gouged and battered, it rings like a bell when it hits the stone floor. He wonders for a split moment if it will weigh on Tony the way it has weighed on him.

The Crying Game by fohatic (@fohatic) (Explicit, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, 36,403 words)

Summary: Steve Rogers stared at the dimly glowing digital screen of the little burner phone, rereading the text message as if it might somehow give away something he missed the first dozen times he scrutinized it. His frown only deepened, though, brows drawing together with consternation as the 88 characters only left him with an even more ponderous sense of uncertainty. If you meant what you wrote, I'll be at the Swissotel Sarajevo, 4/18. Presidential Suite. 9pm. Come alone. ...Nearly a year after Steve and Tony's fallout—and only weeks after press rumors that Tony and Pepper's engagement was inexplicably called off—Steve gets a message on the dedicated burner phone. Despite his instinctive reservations, he's compelled to answer the mysterious call. An approximately canon-compliant story.

the hope that kills you by meidui (@meidui) (Mature, 1,227 words)

Summary: Steve used to go on so much about freedom and choice. If we sign this, we surrender our right to choose. Some of the freedom he loved was big, big enough for him to lay his life down for over and over, and some of the freedom he loved was small, like the wind in his hair when he took his motorcycle out, but now he has to sob and take it when Tony sucks a deep flowering bruise where his prison uniform couldn’t possibly cover and whispers in his ear, “Who’s gonna help you now? Where are you gonna run?”

live for the hope of it all by meidui (@meidui) (Mature, No Archive Warnings Apply, 1,880 words)

Note: This is a sequel to the hope that kills you

Summary: “You can keep me here, can’t you?” Steve asks a little desperately as Tony kneels over him, spreading himself out all the better for Tony to take. He must have really hated his cell on the Raft, Tony thinks before he loses himself in Steve’s body, and for a little while, everything is the same as it has been for the past six months. It’s only after, in the dark and quiet of his own bedroom with Steve sprawled sleepy and heavy across his chest that Tony realises— This is their cell now.

The Phone by AvengersNewB (@avengersnewb) (Mature, 9,039 words)

Summary: Tony hates the flip phone Steve sends him, but he keeps it close at all times, and it never rings until it finally does and the news might help put things into perspective - Captain America : Civil War fix-it. or The phone can't take the place of your smile. [podfic added as chapter 2]

the things we invent when we are scared by nanasekei (@elcorhamletlive) (Not Rated, 18,305 words)

Summary: Steve is trapped in a dream machine, programmed to make him believe he's living his happiest fantasy. Tony goes inside to wake him up, but what he finds is a lot more complicated than he expected.

there's nothing but blue skies by Meatball42 (Mature, Major Character Death, 647 words)

Summary: “This isn’t good,” Steve said grimly.

[badadder1]

Do you have any kakasaku recs? I’d love to branch out more with them!

hmm. It depends on what you like? I'd definitely recommend anything by @twofortea, @goldfishlover73, @bluemingqueen,

Dear Future You by @scarecrows-to-cherrytrees is one i read recently and freaking adored. And it's completed. Timetravel, broody early Naruto Kakashi, his future Sakura pops back to cause mayhem. Sexy, addictive, wonderfully written. There's one fight scene, if you read it you'll get it, but it's so dark, and sexy, and fuck I felt like I should hang up my keyboard because I'll never write anything so amazing when I read that scene.

Bluemingqueen has an adorable ongoing same age au/timetravel called The Danger of Smudged Storage Scrolls that I'm also seriously loving. I think it's almost finished. Its freaking cute. Awkward little Kakashi, determined to not be useless Sakura, sweet best friend vibes and mostly I'm just obsessed with how cute they are together so young! Its so well done and I cant wait till its finished. They also had a lot of great amazing one shots for kakasaku week. Like seriously, so good.

If you like AU, I just binged the shit out of The Exciting Adventures of Lotus Man, Blue Boy and the Not-So-Relucant Doctor Petals by goldfish. I had to Google the anime they crossed with for this but it was so hilarious, amazing pacing, the way they are like, PROFESSOR at smoth as fuck Xovers. Like. The way the two worlds work so well. The characterization are on point and if you like romance with a side of bromance and a shy Kakashi, it's for you. I really recommend this one. Goldfish also has a hanahaki disease long one shot, Blood Red Cherry Blossoms. It is beautiful. It is flawless. There isn't a single thing about the story that I would have done differently or went, "hm, idk but whatever." But the end will crush your soul for ever. It's been months and it still lives on my head, making me well up with sad and anger. It's okay though, because I wrote a fix it chapter 2 in my head so I console myself.

Tea has a lot of smut. Not really my thing anymore but what I have seen is... well done lol there are also several cute as fuck one-shot and short fics amongst the porn. Baby You Can Drive My Car is an adorable example. And No Dogs Allowed is as well. I love dog dad Kakashi here so freaking much. And I say that as someone that can not stand obnoxious dog people irl.

There are several other long ones I can not think of the names of rn. One, involved K and S getting involved in a drug/human trafficking thing. I wish so much I could remember because it was amazing. She's drugged at a bar, he saves her. She comes on to him, he actually is into it but she's drugged so. They finally get handsy later and she's abducted mid coitus. Gets wild from there.

Hope that helps!!

[annaphoenix1994]

Everlasting Lover

Previous Chapter - Masterlist - Next Chapter

»»-------¤-------««

The drive back to Kiera's house was quiet. Lawson was the only one sober enough to get us back safely. If it were up to me, I would've driven, but I wasn't confident in getting everyone back in one piece as I truly had no idea where the fuck I'd be going. 

Roughly a half-hour later, the truck began rumbling as it transitioned onto the gravel driveway leading to the ranch, the lights from the main lodge catching my attention. I still yet waited to meet her parents, but that was a terrifying thought to me because by what Kiera had told me, her father was a hard man to please. 

Lawson parked the truck outside Kiera's house, tossing the keys to me as we helped Kiera get out of the passenger seat. She slung her purse over her shoulder as it was clear she was tipsy, but still aware of her surroundings. "Thanks, kid," she said to Lawson, taking the keys from me and putting them in her purse. "I may need to head out somewhere." She said to him, referring to making a sudden trip. 

"Not tonight, you're not." 

"Sun-fucker!" 

"What?" 

"You heard what I said." 

"You're right, I heard what you said, but I don't understand what the fuck that means." 

"Fun-sucker," She corrected, removing her vape pen from her Carhartt shirt pocket, taking a long drag. "That's what I meant to say." 

I shook my head with a smirk at her slurring speech, "Fucking hell, let's get you inside." 

"I know where I'm going." She said, nearly stumbling on one of the larger gravels in her driveway. 

"You sure about that?" I chuckled. "You're about to fall over, love." 

"Nope. Got two feet under me." 

"Two left feet." 

Both Lawson and Frankie began laughing, "Well, just make sure she doesn't kill herself. We're gonna head back down to the bunkhouse." 

"I can hear you, asshat." Kiera scoffed at her cousin, taking another long drag from the vape pen, embracing the feeling of an incoming nicotine high. It wasn't a good combination: liquor, beer, an empty stomach, and nicotine with an ounce of adrenaline. "I'm sorry, Simon. I just have a headache. I drank too much." 

"You're not telling me anything new," I smirked. "I'm sure it took the edge off. Now you can sleep it off." 

"Aye, Captain." 

"Lieutenant." 

"Right, sorry. I guess you're still in military mode." 

"I never come out of it, Officer." I replied, knowing she didn't like to be acknowledged as an officer unless she was on duty, just like I didn't like to be called anything other than Lieutenant when it came to titles. 

She rolled her eyes playfully, pulling out her keys from her purse to unlock the front door, snickering as she felt along the wall for the light switch as the faint blue light from her vape pen engaging with another puff gave her enough light to see where she was putting her hand. "Okay, I'm going to bed." 

"I was hoping you would," I shook my head. "Do you need anything?" 

"A million fuckin' bucks and another vape." 

"Give me that," I said, watching her take another drag from it. "That's the fifth time in two minutes you've taken a drag off of that bloody thing. Give it a rest." 

"You referred to it as a pacifier," She scoffed, frowning as I took it from her grasp. "I need it."

"What you need is to go to bed. Sleep off all that liquor that you clearly can't take." I poked, loving her reaction, especially when she arched her brows at me as if I offended her. Fuck, she was so cute. 

"I beg your damn pardon?" 

"You heard that, didn't you?" 

"Loud and fucking clear, Lieutenant. I can handle my liquor." 

"Yeah, it shows." 

"I can't with you." 

"No, you can't, that's why you're going to bed." 

"Oh, I can, I'll go get more right now if it means proving a point." 

"I'll pour it out." 

"You wouldn't dare." 

I raised his brows at her. In truth, I didn't know where she kept the whiskey, but I knew I could easily toy with her in this state, and I was taking advantage of it. I liked winding her up. It was a release for me as I couldn't recall thinking about anything military-wise while poking at her. "You clearly don't know me, then." 

"And you clearly don't know me." 

"You're right, I don't, but what I do know is that you can't handle your liquor. What happened to Adderall when I asked you back at the base why you could drink a lot and not seem drunk?"

She scoffed, "Such a jackass. And I'm out." 

"You're going to take the biscuit, love." 

"Who the fuck started talking about biscuits?" She furrowed her brows and opened her arms. 

"It means you're starting to push your luck, darling." 

"Well, now I'm hungry for biscuits." 

"Go to bed," I breathed a laugh. "I'll go get you a water." 

"Aren't you a gentleman." 

"Don't get used to it." I poked, although I was lying. I wanted her to get used to me taking care of her, because I could see myself tending to her for the rest of my life. I wanted this, yet I felt stupid because I was thinking about these things way too early. 

How does that saying go? When you know, you know? Or something like that?

I watched her walk towards her bedroom, leaving the door open as she set down her purse before turning the corner that led to her bathroom. I then searched the kitchen for a bottle of water, finding one in the fridge before hearing gagging sounds. Bloody fucking hell. 

I walked into her bedroom, which was definitely uncharted territory for me, but I didn't care. She sat on the wood floor of her bathroom, hunched over the toilet as the night's activities took their toll on her. "Least you waited until you got home." I commented, daring to step in and take a seat on the side of her bathtub. 

"Yeah, I'm just trained to throw up on command." She scoffed, and I could see that she was fighting the urge to throw up again. The smell was sour and mostly liquid - looking more like stomach bile. 

"Rough combination, love, but I'll have to give it to you - you took it like a bloke."

"Simon, speak fucking English." She sighed. 

I chuckled, shaking my head, "Sorry, let me translate for you: you took it like a champ. That better?" I asked, standing up to then get a cloth from the closet before dampening it in the sink and offering it to her.

"No, because I hate feeling like this." 

"Then don't try to have a drink-off with some stranger at a bar with whiskey after you've already had four glasses and a cocktail. It'll fuck you up every time." 

"If anyone took it like a champ, it's you. You haven't shown one sign of being drunk." 

"Because I know when to stop myself." I replied, making the move to pull her hair behind her shoulders, holding it for her before she regurgitated again, seeing it coming far before she even felt it.

"You don't have to be here at my whim. It's my fault. I don't want you to see me like this-"

"Let it all out. You'll feel better." I said, ignoring her statement. 

I wanted to be there. 

She relaxed after the next round of unmerciful bile, sitting down completely on the floor as she reached up to flush the empty remains of her stomach. I moved to sit on the edge of the bathtub, watching her skin flush to white. I then handed her another cloth, watching her press it against her forehead. "Thanks." 

"Don't mention it. Here," I added, picking up the water bottle from the floor. "Don't drink it too fast or you'll be here all night." 

"Thanks for the tip." 

I breathed a chuckle, keeping my gaze on her as she looked to be searching for something. "What're you looking for?" 

"My nic-stick." 

"What in the bloody hell is that?" 

"You'd call it a Ciggie." She retorted, using my British slang against me by mocking a British accent.

I then patted the pocket of my jeans, "I don't think so. You're cut off." 

She scoffed, "It's mine. I paid for it." 

"You sure are paying the price for it right now, huh?" 

"God, I can't stand you." 

"You can't. That's why you're sitting." 

"Simon, I swear to God, if you don't shut up, I'll hit you right where it hurts." She warned, shaking her head as she noticed that I was sitting with my knees apart as it was a comfortable position for me. Manspreading, is the common term for it, but it was just comfortable. 

"Big words," I mocked, standing to my feet and offering my hand to her. She hesitated before grabbing it. "Let's go to bed." 

She tilted her head, "Wait, are-are you insinuating on going to bed with...me?" 

"I meant it as in getting you to bed."  

"Oh, well, I mean, if you wanted to, I got a nice King-sized bed in there..." She trailed off in a goofy tone, looking around playfully as if she were asking, but not asking directly. 

"I'll keep you up." I replied, not giving her a direct answer, hoping my warning of keeping her awake was enough. I wanted nothing more than to wrap my body around hers, to hold her throughout the night while I was her primary source of warmth while resting my nose against her head. God, I wanted that so bad. 

"I doubt that. I sleep like a rock." 

"Rocks don't sleep?" 

"It's a metaphor, Simon. Christ." 

"You still didn't answer my question." She cocked her head at me. 

"I don't know. I- you'll be awake all night." 

"Yes or no, Simon. Thought you were simpler than that." 

Take your fucking shot, Simon. Take it. Embrace her and protect her from her dreams. All you'll be doing is sleeping. There's no harm in that.

"Are you sure that's what you want?" 

A brief pause. 

"Yes." 

"I'll meet you there." I said, ensuring she made it back into the bedroom before I did, watching her sit on the bed as I walked by, sure that the smell of my cologne lingering in the room. 

When I returned in a change of clothes, she played on her phone, the TikTok app being her kryptonite as it distracted her from her brief sickness. She giggled at one of the many funny videos, watching me walk around the bed and sit on the edge. "Now you're hyper." I commented. 

"No. I feel better, though, but my head hurts. Now's the time to hand me back my nic-stick."

"Not a chance. You're cut off."

She rolled her eyes playfully before setting her phone aside and turning off the lamp, leaving us in complete darkness. "Good-damn-night." 

The bed rumbled from the chuckle that was stuck in my throat. I hoped that she was seeing that I was beginning to open up to her, and I hoped that she saw that I was only poking and prodding at her just to get a reaction, not to piss her off. 

I lay as stiff as a board on the bed, one arm draped over my stomach and the other folded behind my bed, my body laying over the comforter, listening to her steady breathing as she was slowly falling asleep. I knew I wouldn't fall asleep any time soon, and I was glad that I managed to bring her iPod along with me to drown out the silence. I looked over at her, reassuring myself that she was comfortable and breathing before sifting through her playlists. Living on the Sand by Colter Wall playing through the headphones I had found in the drawer of my loaned room. I then looked up at the ceiling, listening to each lyric as I imagined the song was about me. 

♪Keep that gun locked away, locked away, boy; Well, you know you're an angry young man; Going in town with six rounds you're sure to be Hell-bound; That house you've got is built on the sand...♪

I then began to wonder where Kiera's mind would go when she listened to this type of music, wondering how her energy matched with the genre. Perhaps it was the heavy strums of Colter's guitar, or Tyler Childers' raspy Appalachian voice, or Whiskey Myers' guttural lyrics - I liked it all, but it all held a darkness to it that held a lot of meaning and emotion. 

As the song ended, I kept his gaze on the rotating ceiling fan as a soft strum of a guitar played on the next song - Everlasting Lover by 49 Winchester began playing. I haven't heard the song before, but I certainly was going to listen to it. 

It enticed me as much as she did. 

♪Everlasting lover; Oh, how I owe you my gratitude; You were the first to make me feel like I ain't just some dude; Everlasting lover, baby, you've got the kindest eyes; And when mine are red and I look half dead you can't even realize; When I get stoned and feel rejected; weary from the road and half beaten down; you come off of your throne and I feel protected; Oh, and even from the bottom of the bottle I know you won't let me drown...♪

[airandyeah]

By The Beach Merman Nanami X Reader pt.9

My Masterlist for more chapters Here is the Spotify Playlist There is a song in the playlist a lot of people dislike the band who sings it, so please just bare with me. It will either appear next chapter or the bonus chapter! THANK YOU AS ALWAYS FOR READING! LOVE YOU ALL!!!

After a long argument, that left the sea-witch, Toji, tied to a chair and gagged, Megumi, his son, was attempting to help Kento. "So, the original agreement was this shit right?" Megumi asked, holding up the signed parchment. "Yes", Kento responds curtly, eyeing Toji who has finally stopped fussing around in his restraints. "I can work with this", Megumi tells him, as the paper disintegrates. "See, that woman may have loved you. Loved you more than life itself even. But you didn't read the fine print. Look here". Megumi points to a clause in different lettering near the bottom of the sheet, stating that even in a moment of doubt, Kento would turn back. Kento scoffs in displeasure at the finding, again glaring at the tied witch. "Anyways, i can just do thisss", Megumi speak aloud as he nabs a new parchment, an old sea shell, and small empty container. "Take this." He hands Kento the shell. "Sea witch deals have to be a sort of exchange. So here. I'll turn you human, however. You must keep this shell with you, and return it into the water after you've... Married the woman. That's the condition.", Megumi explains. "That's... very simple and considerate... why so easy and simple?" Kento asks, skeptical. "I told you, I wanna piss the fucker off", he shoots another glare at Toji who muffles curses into his make-shift gag. If you were church, I'd get on my knees Confess my love, I'd know where to be My sanctuary, you're holy to me If you were church, I'd get on my knees "Thank you." Kento takes the shell from him, as he fills the vile with liquid magic and uses the pen to scrawl across the paper. "Just sign and you can go." Megumi tells him, and he does. I'd get on my knees I'd get on my knees I'd get on my knees He feels magic wash over him as his body changes into the one he has grown familiar with, and everything moves fast as he is thrust to the shores of the beach. If you were church, yeah, I'd get on my knees Confess my love, I'd know where to be My sanctuary, you're holy to me If you were church, yeah, I'd get on my knees He thought of you, thought of how he would speak with you again. How much he loves you, and would help wash away your doubt. About how he would ask you to be his forever, and join human society. If you were church, I'd get on my knees Confess my love, I'd know where to be My sanctuary, you're holy to me, you're holy to me If you were church, yeah, I'd get on my knees, yeah ~~~ Here you are, soaking your toes in the water, your face unreadable. You see it. You see something moving. Moving fast, and before you can think, you're knocked to the ground by a man who flew from the water, Kento. "Ken?", you rasp, not only from your throat being scratchy after tears and tears, but also because your huge boyfriend is dead weight ontop of you. Kissed that first night, and then the rain opened up the sky to get... One last kiss Kento scrambled to get off you, and you both sat up to look at each other. You thought you couldn't cry anymore, but the tears came. Like the waves came, by the beach. I love you like an alcoholic Kento was crying too, as he embraced you tightly. You kept crying while he mumbled apologies. It took a while before he explained everything, but you just kept sobbing into his chest. Glad he is back. Glad the man you love, is with you. One last kiss I love you like an alcoholic One last kiss I love you like a negligee One last kiss I need you like I need a broken leg You kissed him hard and he kissed you back, his arms wrapping even more tightly around you. You loved each other, you love each other so much.

Taglist: @kiel-luvsripples

Only 1 more official chapter! Then there will be a bonus one.

[muzzlemouths]

This is by no means an exhaustive list and I'll likely update it as I remember more, but here's some stuff off the top of my head. sorry it kind of turned into a Behind The Scenes Tour situation lmao.

There are two A1Z26 ciphers found on the DFtR VHS Cover. The shorter number on the spine (451208) translates to "Death", and the barcode (10211920935) translates to "Justice".

The sequence that Y/N and Devin follow through the woods (left, left, right, right, left, left, right, right), when converted to binary (left = 0, right = 1) directly translates to "3", which is also where Devin stands on Sun's killing order.

Sun walks without the limp as early as chapter 2, when he's carrying y/n back to the rec room. y/n is too distracted by the awkward piggyback they're in to notice.

The counselor's first reactions to Chet's body are a reflection of their final moments before death (or how they would have died). Dolly screams, Heather is silent, Oscar pukes, and Devin interrogates you.

The only time either of them refer to y/n as "Bunny" instead of "Rabbit" is during Moon's rhyme, “Poor little bunny thinks it’s going to be sick.” This is in direct contrast to the route in which y/n doesn't save anyone (and/or agrees to help them), wherein they only refer to y/n as "Bunny", and only ever use "rabbit" when y/n says or does something they don't like.

The contents of Chet's bag (playing cards, bug spray, a hammock) are meant to imply that he was likely the only one in the group actually excited to go camping. Irony is a bitch.

During Sun's rant about why they've boarded up his cabin, he mentions a reason for disliking the various troublesome animals except for squirrels, in which he only says "and don’t even get me started on the squirrels." Then, a while later, it's a squirrel that interrupts the discussion (both his conversation with y/n as well as the silent discussion he's having with Moon as they attempt to change their plans in real time to adjust to y/n's presence). Did you know that squirrels symbolize adaptability?

Oscar mentioning that Sun used to put on puppet shows back in the day is a subtle nod to a scene in an alternate route where the body in the freezer moves seemingly on its own accord, but is actually being puppeteered by Sun from the rafters using fish hooks and wire.

Additionally, there's a scene in an alternate route where y/n figures Sun out much sooner and, likewise, considers telling the counselors much closer to the beginning. This results in Sun hunting down an actual rabbit, cooking it, and presenting it as a meal to y/n as a not-so-subtle threat to behave. The Sun on this current route is far less unhinged than what we could have had.

Sun offering to find y/n a bat was, at the time, an extension of opportunity long before Moon spelled it out for them in the cabin. The other counselors were only able to find weapons that sliced, which are largely ineffective against sturdy metal. Contrarily, y/n is easily offered a weapon that bludgeons and, as we've already seen, does quite a bit of damage to them. It's the one gamble they lost.

Crappies (the fish) symbolize enduring strength. That one's a bit on the nose.

In chapter 3, it's mentioned that Sun burns the fish because he was distracted, which is half true. The real reason he burnt the fish is due to the argument he and Moon had because of Sun's sudden refusal to take y/n out of the picture when he had the opportunity.

When Oscar asks about Moon in chapter 1, it comes across like his question is based in fear, when in reality he is asking out of genuine concern, as he and Moon were very close friends before everything went down. His reaction to hearing that Moon was still alive and kicking would have been relief had Sun not immediately jumped on the opportunity to twist the news into being a direct threat.

In the scene where Y/N discovers Chet's body, their rashly made decision to rip the knife out of the wound (and therefore make him bleed out faster) is meant to symbolize that every choice has repercussions and, regardless of motives or morals, actions have consequences. A lesson that the counselors are learning the hard way.

Y/N as a "character" is meant to mirror what everyone values in themselves and, secretly, what they wish they themselves actually exhibited. Dolly values that y/n is tough because she doesn't believe she's gutsy, just that she's a bitch. Devin values that y/n is smart because he never feels as smart as people tell him he is (or should be), Heather values that y/n is stubborn but understanding because her own stubbornness often clouds her vision and morals, she doesn't know when to stop. Oscar values that y/n is loyal but not a doormat (anymore), something that he openly admits to struggling with himself. Jenn valued y/n's decisiveness.

ok new plan. if i were to write up a short list of the little details scattered throughout DFtR that aren't particularly plot relevant enough to mention in the fic itself but are still fun enough (to me) to include. is that something you guys would be interested in

[red-n-ded]

The World According to Kris (reverse!au) 1/4

K-008, Kritical or Kris to family and friends, suffers from Black Rust Disease, which is an infection that makes him rot from the inside.

Kris knows how much his family sacrificed for him and just wants to stop being a burden for once. He’s given that chance when he and his brother team up with humans to get their ticket back home. Maybe now, he can finally be the hero he always wanted.

Or

Reverse Roles AU and basically Kris takes Bee’s place in RotB, killed by Scourge trying to steal the transwarp key before being revived, followed by flashbacks on Noah’s and Kris’ life before the crash that sent hundreds of Cybertronians to Earth.

Ao3 Sneak Peek

Next

Kris has heard of the earthly saying, “your life flashing before your eyes.”

Oddly enough, when he felt his spark go out, the last thing he remembered wasn’t his life but the last conversation he had with his brother.

Kris remembers standing on a hill. The darkness of the night sky blocked the vision of any passing humans seeing metal aliens in the distance. The only thing illuminating is the shine of the stars against their plating.

Their human allies stand in a circle not too far from them. The blond teen Bumblebee stands next to his leader Optimus with the pink-haired motorcyclist Arcee standing on his other side. Mirage isn’t with them, busy grabbing the holotech promised to get Kris into the museum.

Kris is next to his brother and he spots the antennas on Noah’s helmet to flicker every few seconds. Clearly, the forest green Challenger wasn’t so fond of these squishy beings in the middle of their own mission to go home.

That doesn’t make sense. Humans are great! They made movies, video games𑁋although the one with the red plumber and the weird fire-breathing reptile is frustrating to finish𑁋and consume such colorful resources! The orange bot can’t help but envy the fact that he doesn’t have taste buds just thinking about it.

“What’s up with your face plate?”

Noah’s voice snaps Kris out of his thoughts, realizing the jealous scowl on his intake and immediately dropping his derma to a nervous smile.

“It’s nothing. Just thinking about how cool it would be to take a bite of those Earth cheeseburgers.” Kris assures his brother while trying to guess what a burger would taste like, “Do you think it’s like the Francium frankfurters back home or-”

“You know we can’t stay, right?”

Kris stops talking, looking up at the tall transformer. Noah’s voice was stern yet his expression looked delicate. It seemed he was afraid to offend the smaller bot while maintaining his usual serious older-brother persona.

The words regarding Earthly foods vanish from his glossa and the orange Viper just groans. “I know.”

A soft breeze leaves Noah’s cooling fans like an understanding but tired sigh, “You can’t get too attached to this planet. It will hurt even more when we have to leave.”

Kris grinds his denta. He knows that his older brother is just trying to protect him and he admires that. Everything that Noah has ever done was to protect him and his happiness, even at the sacrifice of his own. The memories of the bitter looks from everyone as Noah walked past them hurts just thinking about it and knowing those looks are because of him.

This involuntary visit to Earth would end eventually but that doesn’t soften the upcoming pain of having to leave this ruined yet beautiful planet.

Seven months ago when they crashed, the two brothers were separated. Noah was apparently all the way in Puerto Rico while the orange bot crashed near the border of New York all alone.

After a few Earth weeks, Kris had the bravery to venture into the city. With a teen holoform and a burnt orange pick-up truck alt, he drove into every part of New York. He ventured into Queens, Manhattan, and a bright red area they named Chinatown. He also visited Times Square where he copied the look of a beautiful Dodge Viper on display and had a newfound rage against human parking and traffic.

They were all flashy and beautiful but his favorite place was Brooklyn, mainly the small neighborhoods with kids that played on the streets, soft chatter from the sidewalks and the familiar feeling within the area.

Obviously, the place wasn’t completely safe—often startled and woken up by the sirens of the Decepticon police force almost every night—but something about this planet felt alive.

“You don’t understand.” Kris grumbles, trying to push down the frustration in his vocalizer, “Everything they make is so colorful! They don’t need movies, games or music to fight their bad leader. They just have it because they do!”

Kris looks away from his brother and onto the gathered humans with determination in their eyes as Mirage arrives. His silver Porsche pulls up and the driver begins to walk towards his team but first waving hello at the robots with the illusion disk at hand. Only Kris waves back in a similar manner.

“Their world is so messed up yet the Racers still have hope.” Kris crosses his arms and grins unapologetically, “So, sorry if I get attached. Human are just so fun!”

Noah’s brow plates furrow in confusion but now, his eyes gleam with a certain curiosity, “And how does fun help them survive?”

Surely in a world where humans are ruled under an iron fist, Mirage’s smile shouldn’t be as bright and wide at the sight of new friends and the hope in the Freedom Racers shouldn’t be so infectious.

“It doesn’t help them survive, it helps them live.”

Kris won’t ever know if Noah understood what he said or changed his mind about humans. He wouldn’t blame him after this.

A human controlling a Cybertronian’s corpse killed his little brother, who was trying to save humans.

The Viper isn't worried if Noah cares about humans. He worries how Noah will change.

Kris knew he died. He’s not stupid but not ready to leave his brother alone. Noah has always been protecting him and vice versa as much Kris tries.

With the younger one gone, who will protect his Sonic now.

[sayakxmi]

Saiouma Puella Magi AU, but Kokichi takes Madoka's role and Shuichi takes Homura's.

For one, Kokichi's too naturally distrustful to just hear "I can grant you any wish :)" and not think ok where's the hook. So he just does what no one ever has & essentially interrogates Kyubey, so he knows it all even before he gets to make a contract. So, some of his classmstes are MGs & he won't become one himself BUT he still ends up tagging along to just protect them in his Kokichi ways. (Though I'm entertaining Kokichi lying about being a magical girl, because, well, it's Kokichi).

(I also got a small idea of Gonta being a magical girls and Kokichi originally tagging along him into labyrinths, Gonta also makes him a magic gun from the toy one he had, and at some point witches out & Kokichi manages to kill him with that gun. So he always has that spare Grief Seed on himself, bc it's still his best friend & he can't handle the idea of just giving it away or using it himself (he does anyway in the end).)

Shuichi prolly ends up being a new kid & it isn't like MadoHomu, the ppl who reach him first are Kaede & Kaito, classic. Kokichi's there, too, but he's his usual sus self. He's actually discouraging ppl from making a contract when they find out magic and miracles are real, which absolutely includes Shuichi. He's very vocal abt it, but he won't explain stutf, bc 1) he's a liar, so who'd believe him? and 2) he doesn't want them to witch out upon finding out the truth or, idk, murder everybody Mami-style.

Anyway, fast forward, bad things happen bingo & by the end of the run most charas are dead, there's Walpurgis nachting, and he makes his wish to bring back the ppl who died notably not as magical girls. Contract signed, he fights & fails, rip. I also thought it was similar to how he thought he could end the killing game by himself - he though he could finish Walpurgisnacht by himself, too. And he failed in both times. Whatevs.

Shuichi doesn't actually make his time travel wish for Ouma specifically, he wants to save all his friends. Timelines are messy esp at first bc he either tells then or it backfires or just makes himself look very sus bc he's trying not to tell them. He also realizes why Kokichi hadn't told anybody aby witches at some point, bc, yeah, it messes them a lot, assuming they believe it.

Still, Kokichi ends up one of the few people who are nearly always giving him a chance, not necessarily out of belief, but out of pragmatism - bro can stop time & knows the truth, that's just too useful. So they often work together & Shuichi grows closer to him but still we ain't there yet. But the thing is, Shuichi's time travel still makes Kokichi more & more powerful with each timeline, bc Shuichi usually goes back after Kokichi dies, so the universe figured out this guy's life's important. Anyway, another notable thing is the iconic Homura kills Madoka scene, but it's Saiouma with guest stars of Kaito & Maki. It's Walpy, it's not defeated yet, but the training trio are spent & just kinda accept their fate of turning into witches together. And then, boom, Kokichi appears & steals their Soul Gems for a sec & he's like did u know you can cleanse your Soul Gem with a darkened one? But it's a lie & he quickly tells them so, he just had a spare Grief Seed after cleansing his Soul Gem & he needs them to do some stuff. Shuichi can travel back in time & fix things, and Maki & Kaito are needed to fight Walpy here. He actually questions what happens to the timelines Shuichi leaves behin, and ofc he doesn't know. There's a chance they remain, so Kokichi needs Maki & Kaito to fight Walpy here.

Kaimaki leave, and Shuichi finally looks at Kokichi & realizes sth is Wrong. Kokichi struggles to hide how he's trembling & grimacing, and it's Kokichi, so obviously it must be extremely bad. Shuichi dreadfully realizes something worse, and he weakly asks Kokichi why aren't his wounds healing. And Kokichi just falls, laughing weakly, and Shuichi catches him & searches for his Soul Gem and, God, he knew it. It's nearly completely black. Kokichi laughs & admits he lied abt having two Grief Seeds, he only had one he never wanted to use. But they'll have the second one soon, so no need to worry. He asks Shuichi to maybe destroy his witch form as it's hatching, so he'll have the Grief Seed without any fighting… and he admits that he hates fighting, he hates this magical world and all its violence. He says that Kaito was right in calling him a coward, even here he just can't handle the idea of fighting any longer, he's so sorry. And Shuichi tells him he ISN'T a coward. He was scared, but he always followed everybody, trying to help, and when push came to shove he would always make a contract for the benefit of others rather than himself. He's a lot of things, but a coward isn't one. Kokichi actually tears up hearing that, and Shuichi promises he won't let him fight ever again, and especially he won't let him turn into a witch and hurt anybody, because he knows it's the last thing he's ever wanted. Even now he only accepts turning into a witch to help them fight to keep others safe. So Shuichi won't let him. Kokichi probably apologizes and thanks him and then he dies.

Keeping Kokichi from fighting starts off as a side quest that gains importance with time, bc it's something Shuichi won't compromise on (ah, trauma), which leads him to occassionally neglect others a bit, which makes them more likely to get hurt & ironically Kokichi more likely to make a contract, especially since he gets more powerful & Kyubey is more interested in him with each timeline. And that also makes him witch out super quick. Shuichi's paying more attention to him & over time grows resentful of others for how they're treating him. To Shuichi it's no question that Kokichi cares & is just doing his best to help, but nobody realizes that.

But the biggest obstacle in keeping Kokichi from fighting is actually Kokichi himself, bc he's too smart and nosy, lmao. Even if he knows nothing, he will find out quickly. Doesn't help that Kyubey wants him to make a contract.

Also, obviously Kaito is Sayaka-coded and Maki could be Kyouko-coded, so that's a thing, BUT it's usually Maki that witches out. Kaito is usually pretty close, but Kokichi intervenes & he survives, but Maki later cracks on her own (and since in the new timeline Kokichi isn't there, Kaito's the one to die, so he's still the secretary). So it's Kaito who gets the dramatic sacrifice. I imagine he genuinely hoped you could bring somebody back if you tried Very Hard & Kokichi called him a moron bc obviously it's not possible. If it was there'd be far less witches that there are. But it's Kaito, he doesn't listen to reason. So, Kokichi follows him to the labyrinth. At first Kaito's mad cuz what if Kokichi being there ruins the plan? Maki hates his guts! But eventually he gets hit pretty hard, and Kokichi is near immediately by his side, trying to help him get up, which kinda makes Kaito short circuit a little bc wait Kokichi's trying to help? But witch!Maki attacks them & Kokichi pushes Kaito away & gets caught himself (and choked until unconsciousness, naturally). Anyway, Kaito gets him away, Shuichi catches Kokichi & Kaito makes up his mind about going down with Maki & asks Shuichi to tell Kokichi that he's sorry. He doesn't get him, but he got hurt trying to protect him, so he'll believe in that if nothing else. F.

As for The WishTM, in the last timeline Shuichi lashes out at Kokichi for his willingness to just become part of the system. In no timeline has his wish actually helped, it did NOTHINHG, which OUCH but it also makes Kokichi think out of the box more & he becomes the Law of Cycles. And Shuichi realizes what is happening & freaks out bc Kokichi's doing it bc of what he told him & like Homura they end up having a momentTM in space & Shuichi remembers. He feels a lot of guilt even tho he also questions whether anything was real, but if it was, he pushed somebody he far too realized he loved into erasing himself from existence.

[kyouka-supremacy]

I think we should just bring back Wungo Wednesday and start a fandom collective anime rewatch

[one-and-a-half-yikes]

Another Day, Another Fanny Chapter...

Well that sure was fucking something huh? I promised I'd at least start talking about IM chapters on here instead of keeping it strictly to the discord server so here I am. Though most of this I already said, I don't mind going over it again, since I feel like I can better organize my thoughts on this.

Also there's no word limit, which is also great.

MY THOUGHTS ON CHAPTER 348: RABBIT REFLECTIONS

So to start, let's rip the bandaid off and just say that everything Fanny said to Vicious in this chapter was bullshit.

At this point in the story with how Fanny has been acting around Cuphead I hope I don't need to specify how Fanny is in love with Cuphead when there's just too much evidence to support it. She kissed him because she wanted to kiss him, not because she was trying to see what kind of lowdown man he was. If Fanny had truly believed that, she would have confronted him about it long ago, but she didn't and we know why. And on some level, I think she knows why, too.

I think it's much easier for a reader to imagine this chapter as a conversation Fanny is having with her conscious. Saying something like this:

Is not her responding to Vicious but to her own thoughts that weigh on her. That kiss has been on her mind for about a week. And her reasoning behind it has changed even moreso. This is her settling on a final conclusion. This is her convincing herself of her own convictions. Of her worldview. That what she did was right, that she didn't ruin something good because it was never good to begin with. So that she doesn't have to confront that ugly realization in the pit of her stomach.

That Cuphead doesn't love her the way she loves him.

That last part specifically. Let's look back at the screenshot yeah?

-"She could almost see Oswald's glare. It was all the same dance. A carousel of pain and betrayal, around and around."

It's a strange thing, isn't it? To bring up Oswald. To equate Oswald to her current situation with Cuphead. Because that is essentially what she's doing, isn't it? It may seem odd, but I do have a reason for why she's thinking that.

Rejection.

Oswald broke up with her and moved on with his life, and Cuphead literally ran from her. Literally the only thing they have in common here, is the fact that they rejected her. But there's another thing too.

"No, she shouldn’t complain. She was lucky she’d found a man with a decent job. Little fights like these weren’t going to end it all for them. Besides, it wasn’t like marriage was about love and all that stardust. She had tried that avenue, and it had ended in heartbreak. Definitely not worth it. Dumb rabbit." (Chapter 74)

The bold is obviously about Oswald. Now compare that to now. Do you see what I mean? She fell in love again, and she got hurt in the process. Nevermind that in both these scenarios the men were also hurt. Especially Cuphead who trusted her and from his perspective, probably assumed she planned on using him for her own needs. Just like Meg. Just like Natasha. And in that way it's very interesting the wording she's using to describe Cuphead, and also Oswald for that matter, rejecting her.

Pain and betrayal. Very edgy, it's giving listening to that one slowed down piano version of Numb that everybody made fandom AMVs to back in the 2000s.

But seriously, why those words? It's a betrayal that Cuphead wasn't interested in the same way she is? Painful sure, that's kind of how rejection works, but betrayal really?

Or.

Is it a betrayal to herself? Thinking of certain aspects of this chapter as Fanny talking to her conscious would definitely lead me to believe that that's partially what it is. She'd already tried the avenue of love twice and it's ended poorly for her, so why did she do it again when she said she wouldn't. Why now, and why with someone like...like him? Like Cuphead? It's absurd in her head. It's something she can't make sense of. Doesn't want to make sense of it either.

So the betrayal could be referring to herself. But, I also think it could be something else, too. But for me to talk about that I have to talk about Oswald and Fanny's relationship because even after a disastrous break up they just can't stay away from each other~

So even though we don't have a lot of context for their relationship, I'm going to go off on a hypothetical that the "betrayal" in regards to Oz is that he offered Fanny (either literally or just like, the idea of the relationship with him gave her that impression) a way out of the dark. From chapter 327 that her home life wasn't great, and she doesn't seem to have any high opinion of her parents at all. Even the mere suggestion of going back home after her break up with Oswald seemed like a worse fate to Fanny than being homeless.

Oswald betrayed her because he was her first love, and also because she was supposed to be living the good life with him. They were supposed to be together forever, but then he broke up with her and next thing Fanny's hearing he's got a successful career and a beautiful wife and kids. She left everything behind for this man only for it to turn out like this. In some ways I can kind of understand what she means. But then she applies this to Cuphead and it's a bit stranger.

Because Cuphead never did anything other than offer her friendship and nothing more. Of course, at the beginning, Cuphead did have a crush on her, but by the end of the Wonderful Winter book he's basically over it. But then I think back to that book specifically, and I think about their interactions throughout and wonder if the betrayal is because Fanny misconstrued everything about their relationship because of how he'd previously acted. Is it the case, that Fanny thought they were both in the same boat, using each other as a form of escapism. She even calls Cuphead out for this at one point and makes an observation about it. Did she think it was the same for him as it was for her? That the feelings were mutual?

And, okay I actually can't blame her for that part. Look, no matter how you slice it, Fanny and Cuphead were just straight up flirting with each other in the early chapters. Not to mention Cuphead asking to take Fanny out to dinner? The Christmas group date? The aftermath?

At the beginning, there may have been mutual feelings of attraction sure but things have changed since then. And even though Cuphead put aside his feelings for her for good, if Fanny had shown any form of reciprocity then maybe things could have changed, but she didn't. But even still it doesn't really explain how Cup could have betrayed her. It stumps me and I've had a good nap to think it through and it's still confusing.