#I'll be willing to listen to a different view

[astrahannah]

Broke (me until a few days ago): Siegvinn is just Rorveth with a dash of religious guilt

Woke (me now): Maybe on surface. Really, Siegvinn is nothing like Rorveth

If you care about my rambling about a ship that I like too much for it having no freaking foundation (I mean they never talked IIRC), sorta about Rorveth, and comparison of the two, you can see below (spoilers for the first Witcher game and for the second (those being more minor, I didn't finish it yet))

Like, the similarities are obvious - on one side, a member of the Scoia'tael, on the other, an member of a faction opposing it. The representatives of the two sides Geralt can choose, them standing directly against each other.

Iorveth seems to have respect for Yaevinn (even if he finds him an idealist) and Roche and Siegfried seem to respect each other (based on the interaction in front of Loc Muinne).

But their attitudes towards their rival are so much different.

Roche and Iorveth are so much more intense. They are directly angered by the other's existence, want the other dead, they throw insults at each other... There's genuine hatred there. Sure, their factions are still important, but it's really personal.

Yaevinn and Siegfried? No personal vendetta Iorveth and Roche have. Like I said, they never talk on-screen. They've fought off-screen, but just as a part of their faction. Not even directly against one another, I think. It's not about Yaevinn for Siegfried, or vice versa. (it would make no sense vice versa, after all. Yaevinn is the leader of Wizima's Scoia'tael in the games, while Siegfried is just a run-of-the-mill member of the Order - that potentially changing at the very end of the game, only if Geralt takes the Order path) The most close they've gotten is standing next to each other as illusions on Geralt's path to fight de Aldersberg if he goes neutral.

Rorveth would be the more typical enemies-to-lovers story. They hate each other, but one day, it hits them that the line between love and hate is thin, and that they are feeling some desire for the other. Not even love at first, maybe. I think they could grow to love one other, but there'd be a good enemies-with-benefits stage between that.

That wouldn't happen with Siegvinn. They just don't feel that for each other. There's no intense hate to grow into something else. They hate the groups the other belongs to, not each other. They'd have to meet first, gain a personal connection, but even then, I don't think they could be like Iorveth and Roche. Their personalities just aren't like that. I've gone on the Order path (well, neutral till the hospital bank (edit - I forgot what the spot was, where you couldn't stay neutral. dunno why I thought it's a hospital) ordeal) and on Roche's path (but tbh I'm mainly on it bcs I wanted to meet Siegfried - my favorite character - on friendly terms. If not for that, I'd probably be on Iorveth's), so I mainly know how Roche and Siegfried differ, but I know Iorveth and Yaevinn are different too.

If a relationship was to grow between Yaevinn and Siegfried - now, I'll be taking inspiration from the two fics for it on ao3, but I think they have a point - it couldn't be through an intense tension turned lustful (even if we ignore Siegfried's vow of celibacy). It could be rather from feelings fostered through occasional wandering thoughts on the battlefield growing into some sort of a infatuation, that's not really sexual in nature, or - and this is my thought - I think it could most potentially happen with some sort of a truce happening between the Order and Scoia'tael in Vizima, with the two forced to negotiate instead of fighting, getting to know each other and starting to see the other as more than the stereotype of a Scoia'tael member/Order of the Flaming Rose member they have build in their heads.

Not that it's in allignment with canon, since Grandmaster Siegfried (important enough to negotiate with the opposing leader) and alive Yaevinn can't coexist. But the two as a couple aren't in any allignment with canon anyway.

They'd, of course, also be devastated to learn they're in love with the other, but for other reasons than Rorveth. With Rorveth, their "factions", as I've called it, would also play a role, but I feel like the personal would be the main source of the anguish. With Siegvinn, it's about the factions, and not hatred towards the other, but these feelings igniting a hate for themselves.

Siegfried vowed to help humans, loving a member of the Scoia'tael goes against that, and more importantly, vowed to be celibate. Loving, wanting at all goes against that. And I think he'd be horrified at it being a man, at that. As far as I know, being queer generally isn't illegal in the Witcher world, but it is frowned upon, especially in lower classes (if I recall right? feel free to correct me on that), and I think Siegfried couldn't really "afford" to be gay openly.

A paradox is that despite me saying this, I usually write his homosexuality as a side issue, with me writing a oneshot where he's actually semi-open about it, before his relationship with anyone (not published, none of my Witcher fics are)

Yaevinn, on the other hand, is rumored to having his lover killed by the Order. (at least the Witcher wiki says so, I never heard it in-game, but I'll believe it) In which case, he'd most likely feel awful for loving someone from the Order. I imagine it would make it even more like a betrayal than it already did, then loving a human would.

Both of them would try to repress these feelings, hating the fact they feel them, feeling like traitors to their cause, but with next to no hate towards the other man himself. Unlike Roche and Iorweth, who hate each other, Siegfried and Yaevinn hate what the other symbolizes.

And if they didn't manage to repress those feelings, I feel like it'd be less enemies to lovers, but forbidden love/star-crossed lovers sort of thing.

Which really summarizes it all. Rorweth - personal hate, enemis to lovers, Siegvinn - not personal, it's the fractions, forbidden love were the relationship to happen. That's what I've been running into the ground here.

Another difference is that Rorweth has more canon base, but that's a whole another thing. I honestly hope that they at least have Siegfried and Yaevinn interact in the planned remake. I don't want them to have a Roche/Iorweth sort of relationship, but I'd like to see them talk.

Really, there's this Rorveth fanart I have to thank here (https://www.tumblr.com/abi-kamikakushi/655332732248948736/rivals-for-witcher-rarepair-summer-bingo?source=share), without it, displaying Siegfried and Yaevinn having a discussion while the other two pairs fight (well, questionably for Rorveth), I wouldn't have had thought of this. And, it was cool to realize (and kinda embarrasing I didn't sooner) and think about, so I'm glad.

And I'm glad for anyone who managed to read this down to here, especially considering I've never seen a Siegvinn post on tumblr (the ship is not even called that! I made the name up, only I call it that. I never saw anyone else give it a name) and it has three fics on ao3 (one being a translation of one of the other two, so, technically, two fics). So, yeah, thanks if you got here, I'll cut it here😅

[theambitiouswoman]

Green Flags in Communication 💚💬

"I want to know when I hurt your feelings."

This shows they are willing to understand and acknowledge the impact of their actions.

"I don't want you to feel alone in this."

This shows empathy and indicates that the person is supportive and does not want the person to deal with issues alone.

"I've been struggling with ___”

This demonstrates vulnerability and trust, as the person is open about their struggles.

"How have you been feeling about ___? I know it's been on your mind a lot."

This shows concern for the other person's issues or worries, showing that they are listening and care about what's important to the other person.

"I feel __ when you __; are you open to trying __ next time?"

This is an example of constructive communication.

"What do you need from me when this happens with your family?"

This shows awareness and sensitivity to the persons family dynamics and a willingness to provide support.

"I appreciate when you ___.”

Expressing appreciation is vital for positive reinforcement and acknowledging the efforts and qualities of the other person.

"I didn't handle that well."

This is a sign of self-awareness and accountability, recognizing one's own mistakes and being open to learning and growth.

"I'm sorry, I was wrong to say that. I'll try to be more mindful in the future."

Shows you are able to apologize genuinely and a commitment to improving behavior.

"Tell me more about that; I'm really interested in hearing your perspective."

Indicates a genuine interest in the other person's thoughts and feelings.

"I noticed you seemed a bit off today. Is everything okay?"

It shows you are attentive to the other person's emotional state and a readiness to provide support.

"I'm here for you, no matter what you need."

Offers unconditional support, creating a sense of security in the relationship.

"I love how passionate you are about your hobbies. It's inspiring to see."

Expresses admiration for the other person's interests.

"Let's work on a solution together. What do you think would be fair?"

Focusing on collaboration rather than conflict.

"I trust your judgment on this."

Trust and respect for the other person's decision-making abilities.

"Your happiness is important to me. Let's make sure you're taking time for yourself."

Prioritizes the other person's happiness and emphasizes the importance of self care.

"It's okay to feel that way. Do you want to talk about it more?"

Validates the other person's feelings.

"I appreciate how you handled that situation. You're really good at ___."

Praises specific strengths or skills, boosting the other person's self-esteem.

"I know we disagree, but I respect your point of view."

Acknowledges differences in opinion while still maintaining respect and understanding.

[star-anise]

Currently getting my socks clean blown off by Rethinking Narcissism, by Dr. Craig Malkin. Which I found, in a roundabout way, from this video on Midsommar, grief, and narcissism.

Tonight I woke up from a nap and accidentally took my morning meds, so I'm going to be up for a few hours because of the meth. In place of sleep, I'll try to roughly sum up some basic ideas proposed by the research the book is based on:

That traits of "narcissism" like entitlement, grandiosity, and feeling special are not inherently toxic. There are times and places they are appropriate and beneficial. If you show up at a hospital with a gunshot wound to the chest, you should not sit and wait to be seen after people with earaches and coughs. (Actually, medical systems are designed to prioritize people with more urgent needs, and you qualify under that system. You are special and are deserving of different treatment than those others, which is why making your needs known, even insisting on it if you're not listened to appropriately the first time, is an extremely good idea. It keeps you from bleeding to death on the floor, and keeps the hospital from getting its pants sued off by your heirs.)

It is more useful to view "narcissism" not as an inherent immutable personality trait, but as a cluster of coping mechanisms. As previously stated, there are times they are exactly the right coping mechanism for the job. However, people we call "narcissists" tend to cling to these ones even when they become detrimental to themselves and others, often because they lack other ways of regulating their emotions and getting their needs met. And that is something they can change, if a person is willing to put in sincere and difficult work. It is not usually fast change; it's a matter of years, not weeks. But a skillbuilding approach turned Borderline Personality Disorder from an immutable curse to a fully treatable (though not quickly treatable) condition, and there's a lot of hope that it can do the same for Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Meanwhile, there's an opposite end to the narcissism spectrum, and it is also pathological and destructive to hang out there all the time. It's an aversion, or even a resistance, to expecting yourself or other people to treat your own feelings, thoughts, ideas, needs, or preferences as important. For Greek mythology reasons, its proposed name is Echoism.

Unfortunately, because most of the damage echoism does is, by its very nature, localized to its sufferer and their own personal relationships, its downsides aren't often talked about. In fact, it's often seen as an ideal moral state, a kind of altruism or saintliness everyone should strive for. As a pathological coping mechanism a person is trapped in, though, it's often more a fear-based reflex than a conscious and deliberate attempt to achieve some real and specific good. It's not actually as beneficial as being able to recognize your needs, desires, positive aspects, and areas of competence or excellence, and bring them forward in your relationships with other people and yourself.

To me this has all been a cross between a gut-punch and a cool, sweet drink of water. There have been other ways to describe echoism over the years, but this feels like the most concise and useful one I've seen in ages.

It specifically puts its pin down in the middle of the moral debate a lot of people struggle with—"What right do I have to put myself forward? What hope do I have of being seen and accepted? Isn't it better not to burden anybody else?"—and says that the problem is not feeling in touch with either side of the equation, but specifically, the inability to move from one part of the spectrum to another when it's merited by circumstances.

When I was a child, I thought Echoism was the answer. It was my ideal. I thought it was what would get me the love and acceptance I wanted, and would keep me safe from the pain of rejection or not being understood. I had no idea it would actually, in fact, be the primary cause of alienation and loneliness for the rest of my life.

Now I'm so deeply thankful I couldn't fully achieve it, in practical terms. As hard as I tried to erase myself, there were always things I loved too much to suppress. I still found ways to express and discover myself in the books I read, the stories I wrote, the intellectual work of school and the experience of pursuing hobbies I loved, my ambitions to be helpful even when they demanded I stop being selfless, and the relationships where I felt safe enough to experience love and acceptance even if I didn't think I deserved them.

There's this question I found a while back that echoed in my bones: Who am I allowed to be around you? Because that's what I felt like, as a child. If I wanted to engage with other people and minimize my risk of harm, it was my job to bend into a pretzel and fit the shape they wanted. And thank god, thank god, thank god, I couldn't fully do it. Despite everything, there were parts of me too strong and bright to lop off completely to get my arms and legs inside the carriage. I was able to take care of myself and let them grow in secret until I found social places I could let them out again. Despite myself, I found ways to grow and thrive, well beyond the trauma that said I shouldn't have.

[nothorses]

You've made a lot of really great posts about transmasc experiences and struggles, and they really resonate with me! So I guess I want to in complete earnest ask: why the push for 'transandrophobia' when anti-transmasculinity as a term has been around for longer and faces little friction by comparison? I don't really *dislike* transandrophobia, but its meaning gets muddied everywhere from different directions, while ATM is pretty direct and succinct I feel. It's very clear that it's about TRANSmasculine oppression. I'm not against having a dedicated term at all, but the content of our struggles gets lost in the weeds of attaching kind of understandably divisive terms like misandry and androphobia in an attempt to mirror a phenomenon very specifically about misogyny; it seems more trouble than it's worth considering ATM is right there

I'll be honest, this ask is confusing to me for a few reasons.

When I started talking about transandrophobia around the summer of 2020, the conversations I was encountering were very much, like, a handful of people across Twitter and Tumblr (literally, a handfull!). I picked up "transandrophobia" because it was one of two words I saw in use, and the other- "transmisandry"- felt much less clear and much more contentious. It seemed super obvious to me that people would draw a line from "men's rights activists" trying to push this idea that "misandry", as a systemic oppression of men by women, to "transmisandry", and assume some ill intent where there was none. It's confusing!

"Transandrophobia" was the better of two options being floated at the time, at least in any conversation I saw. "Anti-transmasculinity" was not really a term I'd been made aware of, if anyone at all was talking about it at the time.

I have seen people pick up "anti-transmasculinity" more recently (maybe in the last year?), and this is definitely the first I've seen someone shorten it to "ATM". The people I've seen use that term have been mostly people who seem really new to the conversation, and the vibe I've gotten has been very, like, "we're the Good Transmascs, our word isn't dirty and gross like those other Bad Transmascs everyone hates. you'll listen to us now that our word is Good and Pure, right?"

Which is like... kind of frustrating, and kind of sad, honestly. I think these people honestly believe that if they just choose the right word, all the people who've been dragging me and every other transmasc talking about these issues through the mud for the last 4 years or so will really just stop & listen. If they can just say it right, these people- who have been relentlessly harassing and spreading lies about every single transmasc who came before them for years now- will care what they have to say, and will be willing to engage with them in earnest, compassionate dialogue.

If you just find the right word, all of these people will care about your hurt, your pain, and the suffering of your community.

It kind of breaks my heart. It's an incredibly hopeful, kind, loving way to view the world. It's compassion and patience and forgiveness that these folks are not being given, but that they so badly want to offer to others.

And at the same time, it sucks to be the Bad Transmasc. It sucks to have fought so hard for so long, and for the people I've been fighting for all this time to turn around and say, "you're gross, and dirty, and evil, and everything you've done is a mistake." It sucks to see the people I've been fighting for agree with the people I've been fighting against, and shove me under the bus in an effort to appeal to the people running me over with it. Knowing that the bus is going to aim for them once it's done with me just makes it sadder, yknow?

@saint-speaks wasn't the first person to ever speak the word "transandrophobia", but he is the one who coined and popularized it in its current form. And then he was dragged through the mud so hard and so brutally that some people think I coined it, just because when I defended him (too little and too late, imo) I withstood the mud-dragging better than he did (and gee, I wonder white.)

And now people take for granted that everything everyone said about hymn to justify that frankly fucking evil harassment campaign was true, actually, and we should abandon the word he coined and find one with purer origins.

If you honestly think "anti-transmasculinity" is just a more practical word, that's fine. I don't care what word we use. But they're going to cover it in mud, too. They're going to cover every one of you in mud.

Will you keep fighting for "ATM" once they make it the new dirty, gross, bad, evil word? Will you keep fighting when they drag you and everyone else through the mud for using it? Or will you agree with them, make up a new word, and never look back?

Please don't let us drown in the mud. We've been fighting for you, and we want to fight with you. Please.

[eldritch-spouse]

https://www.tumblr.com/eldritch-spouse/741884957599973376/httpswwwtumblrcomeldritch-spouse741700018004?source=share

I need to know in explicit detail the first time breg allowed this human to collect samples. Also need to know the embarrassing situations they are put in that their coworkers judge them

I honestly love this so much I'm kicking my feet and giggling ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[Fem reader. I kind of rushed this. Doodle at the end.]

TW: Heavy themes of abuse (including mentions of noncon, death and captivity); Dubious consent moments.

" Listen, we just need you to get in there. "

You blink. " ... This can't be serious. Is this a joke? "

The half-fiend woman, superior to you in professional rank, drags a hand across her blonde locks and grimaces. " Look, I know it sounds bad- "

" Of course it does! This was nowhere in the job description- "

Not that the job description was very uh, descriptive, anyway. But any straw will do, anything to cling to a modicum of your dignity as you get told what your next task will be.

She seems to switch through a few different corporate tactics to ease the blow. " Listen, please. We are short-staffed at the moment, and this has been affecting production a lot more than you can imagine. Specimen 197 is a big bread-winner here and we all know he's uncooperative with machinery, going as far as to ruin it constantly, which leads to more expenses- "

She's explaining this to you like you're a particularly slow toddler and you're not amused.

" We have also noted that M197 is clearly attached to you and a bond has been formed, which is why your presence is requested in certain situations, to reduce his stress levels during tasks. This... Is another one of those tasks. We just need you to get a few samples- " She points at the two canisters next to her. " And you can think of it as a way to improve your bond with the specimen even. "

" Ma'am, he's entering a rut. " You pause. " You want me to walk into a male breeder's cell while he's rutting and engage sexually with him? "

She gulps. " For- For strictly professional purposes- "

" I'm not doing this. "

...

" There's a significant monetary bonus if you manage to do it. "

A long, shameful, disgustingly filthy moment of silence unfolds where you internally debate how far you're willing to go for some much needed money.

Too far, apparently.

" ... I'll do it. "

" Great, that's wonderful, we- "

" No cameras in the room. "

She flinches. " But then how are we supposed to know if you're in danger? "

" No cameras, please. "

If you die you die. You don't want footage of you being possibly mauled by a breeder out there...

A begrudging glance is cast towards the canisters sitting innocently on the table.

Grabbing them, you prepare for the shitshow you signed yourself into.

We have him tied up, the techs had informed you, it'll make things easier.

Just hearing them gives you headaches.

Yes, of course, because forcibly restraining the already volatile lifeform will make it cease being hostile. Logical.

A long-suffering sigh exits your lips when you input the code to open 197's cell. It's a code you know by heart now. If not from the regular standard visits, then from the hurried string of numbers your coworkers would scream at you over the radio before getting launched around by a monster several times their size and weight.

It's hard to forget something like that. There are just some faces you never see again.

As soon as the heavily reinforced door hisses open, you're greeted by an immediate build-up of a snarl. As scary as the sound was when you first heart it, and continues to be on an instinctual level, you understand now that it's mostly born out of fear.

Nothing good ever happens when 197 is cuffed and he's right to be frightened.

The moment you step into view and the door slams shut behind you however, he visibly seems to shift gear instantly.

Sitting on the rather uncomfortable tiled ground, specimen 197 has his ankles spread and cuffed to the ground, his wrists joined behind him and his neck nearly choked to the wall. A muzzle prevents the breeder's jaw from elongating as it tends to do when he's threatened. His tail is likewise restrained in two areas. Those cuffs are the best things modern technology can offer, you haven't heard of a single solid monster type that can shatter them. They're likely also tampered with by some more magically-inclined individuals, but you've never been one to dabble in that.

He exhibits the signs you'd expect from any male entering a rut. Excessive sweating, goosebumps, a faster breathing rate, tension, restlessness and a dilated, humid slit. His skin flickers from time to time, signals somewhere between aggression and courtship displays. You would never have associated heat cycles with torture before starting your work here, but seeing the way these monsters are chemically forced into hypersexual, unhealthily exacerbated heats has shown you just how cruelly this biological process can be exploited.

Sometimes they die. A hormonal, frenzied, artificially accelerated metabolism like this is powerful, but it's also very fragile, in a way. Either they're able to maintain their required ridiculous nutrient intake, find a way to preserve as much energy as possible, or simply panic and end up dying from a mixture of stress and lack of sustenance.

Another sigh escapes your lips, you try to clear your head by placing the canisters on the ground.

The breeder in question, who was once nearly pitch black in his effort to intimidate the perceived threat, is now snow white, having registered you as his favorite, the "nice one". 197 shrinks in himself, then begins a litany of keening whines interspersed with specific chirps.

It might be a plea for attention from an already hormone-fried brain, it might also just be a desperate request to be released from his binds.

You're no paragon of morality, but unlike your coworkers, you understand that building a bond with anyone requires depositing some trust in them. And, even if 197 is rutting, you can only continue to build a connection with him if he has a modicum of comfort in this situation. Which is why you steel yourself before moving closer to the specimen in question and inputting the specific combination to unlock all of his cuffs.

The process is timed, giving workers about five or so minutes to leave the cell before the cuffs drop and the monster is freed. It prevents casualties, naturally.

197 tries to thump his tail in appreciation when he realizes what you're doing, quietly rumbling and trying to lean into the small brushes of your fingers as you work.

" There big guy, just give it a second... " You take a few steps back while you wait.

It feels like a small eternity before the restraints begin falling off one by one. First the tail ones, then the muzzle, the neck, the wrists... And the ankles. On that last click, the breeder shrugs everything away and stretches as he stands.

You've studied these monsters and their mannerisms, he's not stretching just to soothe his joints, he's displaying. The exaggerated curve of that spine says it all, you know exactly what reaction he's after. Though, already riled up as he is, you don't think it's a good idea to respond.

In a second, he's closed the distance between the two of you, this near suffocating hovering over your front, hands and arms twitching with the urge to touch you. 197 is not good with boundaries, which was very surprising to you, considering he absolutely detests it when 99% of people touch him.

The 1% being you.

He waits, visibly pained, for the signal.

" You can touch me now. "

And like a sudden wave, 197 nearly crashes onto you, his comparatively massive pale body blanketing over yours as his arms cage your upper body, lifting it along with him. You squealed the first few times, now you know to stay mostly still and lean to the right so he can shove his face in the crook of your neck without bonking his head against yours. Painful.

He takes a couple deep, shameless inhales of your scent. And, if you had to guess, you're probably a bit sweaty from anxiety. Not that he seems to care, 197 actually appears to slow down a little, enjoying the closeness and now familiar odor you possess. His tail coils around your legs and you pat his back when the telltale chirps and trills of elation make it past his throat.

" Yeah, I missed you too buddy. Take a breather. "

This close to the male, you have absolutely no choice but to drown in his musk. 197 can't help it, he's ruttting after all, those pheromones have to come out. Fortunately, as a human, you're not affected by them, though some of your monster coworkers have to wear specific masks when they enter rutting breeder cells. To you, it's just vaguely unpleasant and heavy.

197 would usually give you a bit of room by now, but he doesn't seem interested in that, instead shifting you around so he can smell other parts of your figure, particularly your hair. Your face warms from his excessive body heat and the sensation of being corralled, your protests silenced when a long blue muscle dips to trail from the base of your neck to your jaw and up the side of your face. The movement is quick, and your attempt to reflexively lean away is met with a tighter grasp as he repeats it.

197 has a habit of dulling his teeth to look more humanoid for your comfort, but not today, in the state he is, he likely forgot that detail altogether. This unfortunately means that you feel the scrape of those pointed daggers every time he amorously samples your skin.

" Alright okay, that's enough- "

You butt in when it feels like he's getting a bit too riled up too fast. It's not exactly counter-productive to your task, but letting him get more and more control over the situation will make it difficult to get the samples later. You can't wrangle a breeder in the throes of their rut, you have to do things before that critical stage.

However, the specimen isn't interested in listening to anything you have to say, responding instead to your tone with his own whine and starting to tug at your uniform. That does it. Thoroughly soaked in his drool, you grab onto the breeder's forearms hard.

" 197! " It's not a tone you like to use with any of the breeders here.

He eventually snaps out of his little trance, gulping, steadying himself before frowning and giving you the space you want.

In this barely minute-long episode, 197 has already kicked into high-gear. Breathing accelerated again, open-mouth panting, excessive drool production, somewhat puffed figure and the tips of his twin cocks already poking out of a pelvic pouch that can barely hold them back. He seems to shiver in his own overwhelming arousal, and though this species is known for having its eyes shielded behind a layer of skin on the face, you know he's fixed on you like a famished animal.

Although your cheeks are moments from setting aflame, this isn't exactly a new sight for you. 197 has gotten aroused in your vicinity several times, you've actually lost count. It'd be nonsensical of you to get irritated over such, given that these males are forced into hypersexuality by the concoctions introduced in their organisms. That paired with his fondness for you probably makes it hard for 197 to not get erections constantly. A hug can set him off, even simple closure paired with your scent is enough to do it.

Well. No time to waste.

While he's mildly disoriented, you grab one of the canisters and move towards a corner of the room with a seemingly randomly arranged pile of fabrics. This, as confusing as it may be to some, is a breeder's nest. And in this species of monsters, the males tend to be the ones who arrange spaces for coupling. 197 has expressed clear discontentment with the fabrics given to him during times of rut to fulfill his instinctual needs, but no one here is ever acting with the specimen's best interests in mind. Besides, he piped down when one of the techs had the bright idea of giving him a jacket you forgot in the workplace. It's right there in fact, the gray hue contrating with a mostly white and pale color scheme.

The nest itself is big, if it fits 197 then it definitely fits you too. And, knowing exactly what you're doing, you let him observe you take a step into it and sit down on the middle, empty canister beside you.

Oh boy.

You can practically hear the popcorn crackles in his brain.

The monster trills loudly, proudly, your supposed acceptance of what have amounted to months of unsubtle courtship from his part being finally rewarded. It's a dangerous moment, you're perfectly aware of such, but it's also necessary to get this over with.

197 drops to a creepily nimble crawl across the floor, rapidly posing over your seated form with blue-tinted cheeks and rabid need. Before you can get so much as a word in, he's dropping some of his weight on you, showering you in hasty licks and clumsy kisses again, this time unable to help himself from nipping at your clothes. The coverings visibly bother him, and the male growls quietly before his instincts tug at him again and he's trying to slot himself between your clothed legs. It takes some yelping, and fussy movement from his part, but you eventually rationalize that stressing him out can lead to a violent response right now.

Might as well let him get away with some embarrassing acts.

Hormone-muddled as he is, 197 has only enough of a mind to hold onto you and press two hot lengths against the front of your body. He's already full-mast, the heat and weight of those things dragging across you when he automatically moves his hips is utterly filthy. He groans, probably the first kind of decent friction he's been getting since he entered this phase of his cycle, the softness and smell of his favorite human getting the monster to leak already, lost in his desperate search for a modicum of relief. As gross and ridiculous as it is, at least he's not tugging at your clothes yet.

You can sense his frustration, the frantic way 197 mechanically bucks against you, the pressure he puts in every thrust, the way his claws puncture into your lab coat and he whines low, this noise that turns into a pleased sort of snarl. Overwhelmed, you shiver beneath his figure, glad there are no cameras to see you fluster and shamefully let a rutting monster grind at you.

You dare say you can get into this.

There's something so appealing about having a monster yearn for you so madly that he's driven to this senseless and primitive display, that even so much as humping you could have them blissed out. Your legs quake around his and you feel your pussy throb in response to the muted friction from his lightly barbed cocks. It's not the first time you've wondered about how it would feel... You've always been a monsterfucker at heart, and 197 is a brutally gorgeous specimen. He's always imploring for even a single touch from you, if you spread yourself out you have absolutely no doubt he would ram those alarming inches into you like a wild beast.

Yeah, maybe your coworkers would call you a sickfuck, but it's not like anyone who works here is moderately normal...

It's a secret. One that you're vaguely paranoid might not be so secret anymore, now that you've been entrusted with this.

In your horny little stupor, you make the critical mistake of forgetting that breeders quickly detect arousal in others. And you are probably making a wet spot in your pants as of now.

With a sudden snort of an inhale, he rises like a man possessed to start ripping at the sides of your lab coat, forcefully trying to rip it off even as he's unable to stop rocking his hips. He knows how to unbutton things just fine, but you bet he can't be fucked to think much in this state.

" Hey- Hey, easy, slow down. " You grab onto his wrists, being ignored.

Okay. Time to think this out while you still can. He's going to rip through your clothes if you let him, and that's not just needless damage, it'll put him in control. But being aggressive about getting him to stop isn't ideal with this type of monster, you need something that distracts him too much to realize he's not exactly holding the leash here. Eventually, an idea graces your mind, though it makes you grimace a little.

Already blazing with shame, you carefully edge a hand between you and, with some hesitation, grab one of the twin members pushed against you.

Instant reaction.

The monster halts, as desired, and looks at you almost oddly, but hopefully. The trick is not giving him enough time to think, so you quickly get a feel for what you're working with, and start stroking him generously.

It's not the frenzied, rushed jerking he inflicts on himself when his own libido becomes bothersome, the fisting of a large hand with little focus and care. You handle him as pleasurably as you can manage, using both hands on him and attentively reading his face. 197 pants openly again, glancing vapidly at your small hands while they work him and he fucks into the motions, strings of thick drool falling from his teeth.

" Good...? Yeah? " You ask, gulping.

He falters and gasps, trying to articulate something. " Please. " Gets dragged out, his dick pulsing in your grasp.

You don't quite know what he's begging for, but you assume he's enjoying himself. Watching the neglected length bob uselessly, you take the opportunity to remove your own lab coat, switching hands quickly when necessary. The shirt comes off too, leaving you in your bra and pants.

By the time you glance back at him, the breeder's skin has shifted entirely to black, and he's hypnotized by the new parts of your body revealed to him, the mounds on your chest breeder females don't have but that he somehow finds pleasing to the eye regardless.

You make a lifting motion, trying to get his attention. " Knees. Come on, knees. Let me show you something. "

It takes a hot second, but he computes the request and does as told out of genuine curiosity. You're about to show an already decidedly horny monster the wonders of oral sex, which is likely not the brightest of ideas, but no one's here to judge your poor decisions.

197's girths hover far too close to your face while he waits a tad impatiently. Studying the things you'll be pleasing soon, you nearly pale a couple shades, knowing it'll take some prayer not to end up hurting your jaw. The male has lived in captivity since the day he hatched, you've enjoyed showing him some of the nicer things in life from time to time, this is just another one of them.

Carefully grabbing onto the left one, you glance at 197 as you deliberately slip your tongue out, so he doesn't just assume you're going to try biting his genitals. He tenses, because of course he would, but you take your time, stopping the moment only his tip is inside your mouth. The breeder is a tad confused and quaking slightly with ambiguous anticipation.

Then you suck.

And it clicks instantly.

God, just this little of his length is already forcing you to open wider than you've ever had to with previous partners, still, you strain to take a few more inches down and focus on that part.

The male exhales tremulously, experiencing the feeling for the first time ever, you're certain. 197 has to straighten slightly as the first intense waves of pleasure course through him, and bless the big dorky monster, he has no idea what to do with himself or his arms. As your jaw adjusts, a tad uncomfortably, you start truly gouging how much of him you can handle. Not that much honestly, but it's to be expected. It's already more than enough to please him, if the increasingly louder growled trills are any indication.

Oh, you bet this is the closest thing to heaven for him. His favorite human, with a mouth warmer than he could have ever expected, lips much softer than any of his species', no apex predator teeth to get in the way, and a tongue that although flat and short, can still chase after those wonderfully sensitive spots.

He has exactly zero idea how to react beyond making bestial noises and drooling on his own chest like a vapid animal. The way his cock pulses in your mouth is a tad bothersome to the rhythm you're trying to keep, but you figure you don't have to show-off to someone who's never had oral before, he's already blown away.

Humorously, 197's hands land on your shoulders, and that's the only way he can apparently steady himself while he's sucked off. His spare cock oozes precum that smears onto your bare chest and you half-heartedly pump it when you pop off his other dick.

" Is this okay, hm? " Needless question, really.

The breeder doesn't even make an effort to reply, whining at the loss of friction and edging forward until both his members nudge against your cheek and lips, begging without words to have that bliss again.

Feeling vaguely in control, enough to be playful, you lean away from the one closest to you and take the right one into your mouth, sucking it as far in as you physically can before switching to the other one, all just so you can hear 197 gasp and grunt out moans. His desperation causes him to buck, and as you gag, a little lightbulb fizzles above his head.

Oh.

Oh no.

The next time you try to pull away, his hands rise from your shoulders to the sides of your head. Each dark finger nearly curves over the perimeter of your skull, and you freeze instantly, not wanting him to tighten his grasp by any means. Everything is fine so long as he only holds onto your head this way, gently.

He's the one moving this time, apparently marveling at the sight of his length disappearing past your somewhat swollen, drooled lips. Except, as expected, he's going faster and deeper than you'd like, getting into it enough to trigger harsh flutters in the back of your throat. Your gagging and subsequent reflexive jerks are met with warning rumbles and one of his hands caging you in place by the back of head.

He learns fast, needless to say.

The more he drives into you, the less you can control your saliva, creating gross pops and slurps as you have little choice but to huff through your nose. Merciless, not even the odd cough around his dick will stop him now that he's nearing orgasm, or so you're willing to guess by his franticness.

Eventually, he makes the mistake of shoving his cock far enough that your jaw strains and your stomach flips, a grossly loud hurl being his response. The horrid noise finally jolts him to a still, giving you enough space to pull away and catch some much needed breath, controlling your belly before anything unfortunate happens.

" Fucking Hell! " You groan hoarsely, irritated. " You're hung like a horse, be careful... "

The rutting male's fried brain only understands that you sound wounded, a concerned chirp followed by soothing sloppy laps to your jaw being his response.

Not an ideal development at all, and yet, progress.

197 is usually very violent with the breeders they tired to pair him for mating. Which is to be expected, being the golden goose of the facility comes at a cost- The rush of hormones in his machine of a metabolism doesn't just contribute to more virility than his male peers, it also causes bursts of hyper aggression not easily controlled. And the only socialization this one usually gets is fights with other males who feel threatened by his presence, understand that they are being hurt by techs because they fail to live up to the standard 197 created, that they might be killed for such.

The females, likewise, fear him.

197 is bigger, louder, scarier. He has a reputation amongst the other breeders, and some of them were more likely to try fighting him off during their heats than accept getting sexual with him. This has led to 197 rejecting all breeders regardless of the context, which resulted in many of the paired females being immediately fatally attacked whenever a scheduled session was arranged. Sometimes he would simply slaughter them, other times he would actually instinctually attempt to mate, and end up ignoring cries of distress, nothing but rage and hormones in that brain causing him to end up killing them mid-coitus.

Shitshows, complete shitshows you've had the displeasure of partially witnessing in the past.

Which is why you're so incredibly shocked he stopped when he heard you nearly throw up. Then again, you're no breeder, and you like to think you've created as decent a connection with him as possible. It could be that.

When the monster thinks you've recovered enough, he attempts to get you to sit in the same position from before so things can resume, and if the way he's insistent on keeping a hold of your head is any indication, then he's learned he prefers to take control of this. And you won't be the fool that argues with him in this state.

After licking your lips a few times, hearing his impatient little huffs, you take one of those slicked cocks into your mouth again, letting him build the pace back up. On the one hand, you're glad you don't have to pretend to keep any composure, letting yourself drool as much as possible for the sake of making the process easier, and uncaring of the filthy noises that only seem to make his thighs quake. On the other, you need a solution so he doesn't just peirce past the back of your throat.

So, experimentally, the next time 197 pushes far enough to have your eyes rolling, you get a firm grasp of the base of his tail and tug.

The appendage lifts and his spine curves back in sudden shock. You doubt it's pain that has him straightening like a plank, after all, you know these beings can oftentimes carry their young by the tail, so if it can handle their body weight, then it can handle a yank from a human's hand. It's more so a sort of "freeze reaction", effective in getting the male to pull back even if he grunts in mild agitation.

It's only fair, in your eyes.

The moment you let go, 197 continues to fuck your face as he pleases, moaning and curving over you once more to find his own pleasure, until he drives in too much again and you repeat the gesture. Over and over, so he understands there are limits.

It seems to succeed in getting the message across. If he wants to keep getting sucked off by your hot little mouth, then he needs to be minimally considerate.

This goes on for a while, you're almost proud to feel him eventually actively hold back from going too far. Because that would halt the friction, and judging by the way his tongue lolls out in pleasure, 197 wants to come really bad.

He seems to have enjoyed your antics from before, because the male actively pulls out of your mouth with another lurid pop and positions his spare length against your lips, fucking into you a couple times before switching to the other one, doing this enough times that you honestly struggle to contain some laughter.

His throbbing increases and you know his peak approaches, quickly reaching beside you for the container as fingers race to open it. Your spare hand makes an extra effort to stroke the length 197 can't fit inside you and with as much vigor as possible, you complement his every motion.

The second you back away to breathe, strings of saliva still clinging from your lips to his dicks, offers the monster enough of a nasty view to trigger exactly what you need. 197 snarls at the top of his lungs, rapidly fisting both cocks before you. It's a decidedly disgustingly arousing display that has you staring heatedly, until the first rope of thick pearly cum lands on your cheek.

It jolts you into flustered movement, holding the canister up to the closest of his girths, you try to get as much as possible inside, unable to shield yourself from the rest of his load as it lands on your neck and tits, warm globs marking you in the throes of the specimen's ecstasy.

It's immensely relieving for him, the sighed, low and needy moans that rip out his throat evidence enough that 197 had been pent up for more than a while. And you... You're soaked in warm seed, observing his maddened jerking slow down.

This is your job now.

Personally collecting from the golden goose of the facility. All for a bonus.

Whatever, just don't think about it too much.

Giving into the guilty sense of pride you feel over making 197 stare at the ceiling in total bliss, you lean down to catch the trails dripping down those teal blue lengths, cleaning him. You don't have to, by any means, but you've already sunk so low today, what difference does it make if you let yourself go a little?

The specimen's legs tremble and he glances down at you with this utterly cum-drunk, infatuated smile. Dark, stained digits rise to comb through your hair in some kind of comforting gesture until you eventually pull away and allow the male to recover.

Now, two things.

You need to clean up somehow, you don't want his cum to dry on your skin.

There's also the matter of the second canister, you think while you grab one of the cloths in the breeder's nest to wipe your face and chest on. You probably won't be allowed to leave his cell until they're both full.

Reaching for the one already warm with 197's sample, you seal it tight, the small device in it emitting a faint green light and beeping quietly. The signal that one container has been filled is then sent to whichever tech is keeping track of this particularly... Unique task.

A pang of shame courses through you at the thought of one of your coworkers now knowing that you've made 197 orgasm.

Time to get the other one and hurry this up.

Unfortunately, as soon as you're about to set a foot outside of the nest, a huge black hand captures your leg, and you're possessively tugged back by a disgruntled breeder who barely gives you enough time to scream before he starts shredding the rest of your clothes...

Hours have passed. You're sure of it.

As far as anyone's concerned, your work has been accomplished. Both canisters are practically overflowing with untainted samples, sitting in the corner of the room so that nothing happens to them.

You're naked, sticky and likely to bruise in some areas from 197's lack of strength mediation, but you did it.

At any moment now, coworkers of yours will enter 197's cell, and you know it's going to be a total wreck. Between his likely immediate aggression, the damage they'll cause him and your less than sightly state, it'll be unpleasant.

But you can't bring yourself to care.

Not when a tireless tongue continues to groom your already exhausted form and 197's meaty cock lazily fucks globs of his hot cum back into your puffed pussy while he trills soothingly. His breathing has steadied and his heartbeat slows.

Any moment now, he might fall asleep inside you, enjoying a sweet moment of bliss before you're taken away again.

It's almost cruel.

[spongeofaces]

Matchup exchange for @thecurrator 1/3

---

First of the three matchups! I'm sorry for taking so long with these 🙇‍♀️

Really loved the one you made by the way, super cute.

Hope it lives up to your expectations!

Do tell me if I made any errors, I'll fix it up right away.

---

Romantic

I match thecurrator with...

🐉 Malleus Draconia 🐉

-:-:-:-

Malleus may be an absolute sweetheart of a partner, but he is also new to this kind of relationship. He does try his best, however he may not always know what is expected of him; what's too much or too little. Just be patient with him, okay? He'd wait an eternity for you, after all.

Typically, Malleus talks to others in a respectful yet somewhat cold tone, but fortunately he's comfortable enough around you to drop the polite walls he's built up. At times, he may find himself making small jokes or teasing comments that he usually wouldn't make with anyone else. Slowly yet surely, he'll become more and more willing to act childish if he wishes to, not feeling the same shame he used to when he acted in such a way. You've helped him become a lot more open with his words and actions, and he appreciates that.

As someone who has had personal experience with feeling isolated for a long time, Malleus has made it his personal mission to make sure that as long as the two of you are together, you'll never feel lonely. He needs you to know that no matter the situation, no matter the time, he is willing to be by your side. There's no need to hesitant or worry if you want to ask Malleus to spend time with you, I assure you; he'd drop anything if it meant he could be with you instead.

Malleus can take on any role in a conversation, switching between speaking and listening depending on the current mood. Whenever you speak, he is sure to pay his utmost attention, treasuring the words that leave your lips, storing away any and all information you give him in his head. You may make a one-off comment about a show you sort of like, and a day or two later he'll be bringing it up, having watched some of it to learn more about your tastes. Whether you feel like fast-paced banter, meaningful conversation, sudden rants or complete silence, Malleus is always happy to oblige.

This guy does not hold back on the compliments, always finding some sort of excuse to praise you. No matter how mudane a task you complete is he'll have something positive to say about you. Just by the look of utter adoration in his eyes, you can tell that it isn't empty flattery; he means every word of it. At this point, you find that he's truly enamoured with even your smallest actions and behaviours.

Definitely a gift giver. He'll experiment with different types of gifts, trying to get a read on which kind of trinket you treasure most. At the start, he'll stick to the default gifts, flowers, jewellery, clothes, plushies. The only thing that isn't stereotypical about the gifts he gives, is the amount. You'll be recieving something every other day, some things small, some things large. His gifts will become more personalized as he learns more about you.

He adores spending time participating in your interests with you. He'll organize movie nights or days to binge entire shows, just so he can listen as you discuss the themes and delve into the characters.

He is not going to help with your habit of getting lost in new places, if I'm honest. Pretty sure he'll just play dumb and let you lead you both off-track, feigning ignorance when you ask if he has any clue which way to go. Oh, but he doesn't have any malicious intent, he just finds the act of going on a simple, spontaneous walk with you pleasant.

He'd go absolutely anywhere if only you'd invite him. If he's the one choosing a date location, it would probably be somewhere out in nature, with a pretty view or scenery. He may start getting sappy and compare you to a flower or something, how you react to that is up to you.

Make him a music playlist, and it will be the only thing he listens to for practically the entire month. He might seek you out to talk to you about how he interprets certain lyrics and songs. He's grateful you took time out of your day to make something so thoughtful for him.

You two share the 'unapproachable' vibe. You because of the rbf, him because of his intimidating presence. But hey, at least you two know that the other isn't as scary as they look.

If you ever space out, he'll just sit in silence and watch you affectionately, wondering what could possibly be going through your mind at that moment. When class is about to start, he may poke your cheek to snap you out of the small daze.

Other options: Silver and Jade.

[funkylilomen]

i have somewhat of a different interpretation about The Mind Electric

> It's less of a diss track and more of using Heart's tactics against him to get him to listen [while also still definitely being a diss track]

somewhat disorganized rant below the cut [also lots of my own interpretations of the album that may very well be inaccurate, so take everything with a grain of salt] :]

The Mind Electric has a bit of a different topic when it comes to Mind's songs/lyrics, to say the least. while Mind does jab at Heart a lot, he does often try to reason with the other in between insults. The Mind Electric has much less of trying to convince Heart to work with [or behind] him and instead focuses on.. insulting the shit out of them

this is extremely funny, but it seems somewhat abrupt and out of the blue for Mind [see what i did there?]. however, i have a.. semi-theory as to why he suddenly just goes off on Heart. he's playing into the other's tactics

and i don't mean that Heart is constantly baraging Mind with insults. in fact, compared to Mind, Heart very rarely verbally attacks the other head on. instead, Heart builds up this fantasy around themself that paints themself as completely innocent, whereas Mind is this irredeemable villain that wants nothing more than Heart's head on a platter. and while, yes Mind definitely isn't fond of Heart, from what we've seen and heard, he is at least somewhat willing to work with Heart—although his idea of "working" with them seems more for Heart to sit in the backseat and shut up while Mind is the one actually in control, but I digress. this fantasy that Heart builds is most clearly seen from both sides in The Heart Acoustic and Be Born

Throughout Mind's songs [Be Born especially], he is trying to reason with Heart and get them to understand his point of view. he tries to explain that he only wants the best for the person that they make up. but Heart either argues with or outright ignores Mind, holding fast to the facade that they built up—that Mind is the bad guy trying to hurt them, and Heart is the good guy trying to save them. they don't want to hear anything that goes against that. so all that Mind says just ends up hitting a brick wall. this might also be a reason as to why Mind sees Heart as childish [their stubborn nature and them "playing make believe" to a much more serious degree]

at the end of Storm and a Spring, Mind and Heart sing over each other, almost sounding like an argument. this is Mind's breaking point. here, he throws his hands up and pretty much goes, "Fine. You want to see me as the villain? I'll play the villain." cue The Mind Electric. this song serves two roles, in my view. One, the one I've been building up to: Mind is leaning into this role that Heart has forced him into in a last ditch effort to break through and actually get him to listen for once. that's why the song eases up at the end. the last few lines of the song are literally, "Though I seem harsh in all my assessments / We each seek a life lived in the light / Yet there lies our Heart, engulfed in resentment / Stubborn, pale akaryocyte." aka, "Although you see everything I do as cruel and unforgiving, I'm not trying to hurt us. I'm only trying to make things better, and yet YOU refuse to see that, no matter how much I try to tell you this. You're being stubborn and resentful with practically no reason other than to perpetuate your own lies."

The second reason is that Mind is beyond frustrated at this point. he has tried and failed so many times to talk to Heart and get them to see the truth. he's tired. he's fed up. he needs an outlet, so he takes this opportunity to air his grievances [this is what i meant by it still definitely being a diss track, lol]. not only is it a method [albeit a poorly thought out one] to get through to Heart, it's also an excuse to let out his frustrations

that's all from me. i have no clue how to end these so. yeah. please don't execute me :]

[anti-catradora-collection]

TRANSLATING AND GIVING MY HONEST OPINION ABOUT THIS TWITTER THREAD:

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️ DO NOT GO AFTER AND DO NOT HARASS THE CREATOR OF THE THREAD I'LL BE COMMENTING HERE. thank you.

"it pisses me off when ppl say they love enemies to lovers and then say that catra//dora is toxic.

like, ENEMIES is not when one person steps on another's toes and gets angry towards them"

keep reading under the cut:

yeah, "enemies" certainly is not when one person steps on another's toes and gets angry towards them. even google knows that. enemies to lovers is completely different from rivals to lovers.

however, c//a aren't enemies either. they have never been.

they were simply abuser x victim. and that's mainly because adora never really felt any hate towards catra. she even tried to make catra join the rebellion multiple times.

additionally, adora knew how to defend herself, but wouldn't do more than she needs.

catra, on the other hand, would relish on BRUTALIZING adora. she even tried to end the whole universe out of spite to adora, willing to kill them both in the process.

and let's not forget: catra did all this with a smile in her face, proud of being able to manipulate and control adora.

they were never mutual enemies. adora mostly viewed catra as someone to fear. most of the time, she felt powerless when the matter was catra. to be honest, even when the matter wasn't her, it's shown that she felt that way. damn, she even had a panic attack because of catra.

and let's not forget how catra and adora's fights are always viewed as "flirtatious/sexy" and, surprisingly (or not), they are always with catra on top while adora is unable to fight back for any reason (be it for an emotional or physical reason, temporarily or not).

the only exception for what i said above is this scene, where i don't even believe adora is being flirtatious (for me, she's simply being smug) and where she's not even talking to catra in person.

of course, there's times where adora physically hurts (or tries to hurt) catra back, but it's solely to DEFEND HERSELF/OTHER PEOPLE. catra takes advantage of adora's kindness cuz she knows she won't be able to cause the same harm as catra does.

NEXT:

"enemies to lovers is ALWAYS toxic in the enemies part. a relationship where you are the other person's mortal enemy is not even possible.we ship catra//dora precisely because they get to the lovers part, and when they get to it, there is no more toxicity."

I'm so sorry to break it to you, but C//A has been toxic before, during and after they were in opposite sides of the war. here is an example of this. catra always made it seem like it's adora who's always abandoning her, but it was catra's CHOICE to stay in the horde.

C//A relationship occurred on an existing pattern: adora accidentally says something that makes catra mad -> catra hits/insults her -> catra runs away, expecting adora to chase after her and feeling like she's rejected if that doesn't happen. it even happened while they were KIDS.

and let's also not forget about catra gaslighting and slapping adora in that one episode while she was going through another panic attack. "catra didn't know something was going on!!!" she literally had "flashbacks" about things that did happen and adora was clearly not okay.

catra could've been a good friend like glimmer was for adora in the hot springs episode, listen to her, try to help and properly calm her down even if she didn't know what was happening, but catra didn't. she insisted on her own view that everything was perfect instead.

catra also makes it seem like adora is the abandoner multiple times in season 5. like girl you're the one who literally abandoned her even in S5 plsss-catra CHOSE to stay in the horde, adora tried to make catra come with her since forever. catra was the one running away.

she even framed adora as being the violent one in their relationship with this scene:

"how am i supposed to fight my own friends?"

"it never stopped you before."

it's almost like catra wasn't the one always trying to hurt and murder adora all the time... lol.

NEXT:

"apart from the abuse that catra (and adora) suffered throughout her childhood AND her fear of abandonment, the only reason catra treated adora the way she did was because she suppressed her feelings in such an absurd way that she was even violent."

uhhh.. no?

you're telling me catra tried to kill adora multiples times and destroy the universe because deep inside her heart catra LOVED adora?

this is honestly giving me "he hits you because he likes you!" vibes. i bet if catra was a man, you wouldn't be saying stuff like this.

plus, shall i say something that may sound a bit... harsh:

THIS. IS. NOT. ABOUT. CATRA.

of course catra is traumatized.

of course catra is also abused.

of course all these facts helped building up catra's character.

but nothing justifies the way she treated adora.

"but catra was abused, she was raised in a harsh way, she doesn't know any better!" what about we stop making adora's abuse about her abuser...? everyone kinda seems to forget how catra was also a w4r crim1nal lmao. of course catra deserved love. but not in the way she got.

catra also needed to be held accountable for her actions, which she didn't. "she was brainwashed by horde prime which made her suffer a lot!" okay, and? catra also brainwashed and put adora into a lot of pain and that fact was never once brought up again.

i mean, catra literally was a gen0c1dal w4r crim1nal. she killed lots of people (including glimmer's mother). again, she tried to end the universe. she destroyed villages. she attempted to kill adora multiple times. was she even questioned about it?

no. the princesses immediately take catra in with them as soon as adora says "she's with us now". there was not even a proper discussion about it.

NEXT:

"as soon as she gets sufficiently comfortable in being vulnerable and admitting what she feels to adora, there's no reason for her to be violent because there's nothing else to suppress. the acception of her "true self" breaks the cycle of abuse and that's WHY +"

not gonna comment on it cuz i already said how catra has been abusive during the entire series - even after she has been rescued. "she was going through a lot" and adora was too. It just wasn't fair for catra to treat adora that way simply becuz "adora doesn't want mee! :(".

like, girl, this isn't about you. you ASKED adora to save the world but then you get angry when she decides it's something she NEEDS to do and states that no one else can do that. like ???

NEXT:

"they turn into a couple.

double trouble themselves tell catra exactly what she has been doing during all seasons to hide and deny her own feelings for adora. because these feelings made her feel uncomfortable."

excuse me, double trouble was also wrong about that. starting by the way they said "left you" while turning into adora when we know it wasn't what happened, there's also the fact that their speech wasn't only about catra's "feelings" for adora.

it was also about catra feeling abandoned and rejected by EVERYONE she knew: shadow weaver, scorpia, hordak... or are we going to forget the fact all these people were also in the scene?

but even the show itself tries to make it seem like adora was the abandoner only for the "just this once, stay" quote to make sense. another reminder: spop's writing is very far away from being the best.

NEXT:

"I would NEVER ship catra//dora the way i do if they haven't got a redemption and if the "enemies" part hadn't come to an end. at most, I'd think they have chemistry and potential for making out, but their healthy relationship is only possible due to their happy ending."

i don't even know what to say- this person lost me at "I'd think they have chemistry and potential for making out". why the hell do you think catra abusing adora would be hot, SPECIALLY in a scenario where they keep being "enemies"???? 😭

also, yes, they got a "happy ending". but at what cost?

catra lied to adora and insulted her even during her confession;

catra never really changed, this series simply tried to make it seem like she did (and failed to do so)

adora is now in a supposedly "happy relationship" with her own abuser and sister, while both didn't at least got therapy BEFORE that.

catra didn't need a romance with her victim in order to be happy. she simply needed time to HEAL, just like adora. "but can't they heal as a couple?" no. it just doesn't work like that. you can't love someone else without fully loving yourself first.

NEXT:

"that being said, catra is open to therapy with perfuma, already sees bow and glimmer as besties, says sorry with ease, happily participates on princesses hugs, isn't afraid to show love and care for adora. and that's when a good relationship is born."

catra may be "trying" to be a better person in canon, but she's far from achieving that. you all say "someone needs time to heal before turning into a better person", but then look at catra, whose "redemption arc" was up for half of the last season and applauds it as "the best character development ever". it also doesn't work like that. it doesn't matter how many times catra saves the world if she keeps treating adora like dirt while doing that (guilt tripping, insulting and beating her up, for example).

basically, saying "I'm sorry for everything" once doesn't mean anything if catra, herself, doesn't truly change.

the last tweet of the thread finished with the following sentence:

"kisses and go to therapy"

all i can say is: thanks, op. you too.

[restinslices]

I would love to request a fic of Ares x fem reader please? Maybe based of your post of being Ares favorite mortal lover and defending her or whatever idea you may have?

I think you and someone else requested this so COME GET YA’LL JUICE.

I made this sadder than it needed to be but it’s an illness at this point. Warning for a down bad Ares. Like, OOC type of down bad

Gods are typically very predictable when it comes to love.

It's usually temporary love and honestly a mortal is lucky if it lasts more than a month. They get together, have a baby then the god moves on before the baby is even born. It sounds heartless because it is, but that's just how it was when you were immortal. You got bored very quickly and chasing after mortals gave you something to do when life got too quiet.

That's what typically happens.

Sometimes though, the gods find very special mortals.

For Hermes, it was May. For Poseidon, it was Sally. For Ares, it was you.

Ares constantly watched over you and your child, even if you never knew. He couldn't be with you and he knew this, but that didn't mean he couldn't make sure you were ok and help out occasionally. Sometimes it'd be something as small as leaving you gifts to cheer you up, and sometimes it'd be something as big as delivering “bad luck” to your boss when he was being rude.

So imagine how upset he got when he watched your new partner continue to mistreat you.

Zeus made himself very clear.

Absolutely DO NOT commit any acts of violence against a particular mortal named Trent.

Ares thought about listening. Then Ares thought about the fact that he was willing to allow a war to happen between Zeus, Hades and Poseidon and he decided that since he's done a lot worse, a few felonies wouldn't be so bad in the grand scheme of things.

~~

The arguing made Ares pause before he could knock.

He heard your voice. “In my bed Trent?! Are you serious?!”.

The male groaned in annoyance, “If you can't accept that relationships have hiccups then maybe you don't actually care for me! I'll leave you alone right now if that's what you want! It's just fuck me, right?! After all I do?!”.

“What do you do?!”.

“I told you I had demons I was fighting!”

“Is the demon monogamy?”

He huffed and he swung the door open while going on and on about the so called demons he was fighting that you wouldn't understand, and if Ares had Hades powers, he'd send him some actual demons to worry about.

His eyes landed on Ares, “who are you?”.

You came into view right behind Trent and your eyes widened.

It was strange. Ares hardly paid attention to little details when it came to someone's appearance. After a while his eyes skimmed over people, and even if a mortal managed to catch his attention, he usually forgot what they looked like before the week ended. You were different though and if this is what Poseidon and Hermes felt then he understood why it was so hard for them to let their mortals go.

He wasn't necessarily an artistic guy but he could pick out the specific shade of your eyes, even if it was the most basic eye color. He memorized the shape of your hair and its color. He memorized certain mannerisms or habits you had, no matter how small. If someone blindfolded him, he was sure he'd still be able to find you just by hearing your laughter. He'd pat the area around him as he walk towards you and once he felt your hand in his, he'd know he was home. And sure, there was a mortal out there that had the same texture on their fingertips but he didn't care about them. He cared about you and even if you thought you weren't special, he would strongly disagree. Mortals didn't stay in his mind. You did. That meant something.

But Trent didn't seem to understand how special you were. He didn't understand that you were doing him a service just by standing near him and it made him angrier than he expected.

“This is Ares”, you said. It was embarrassing for him to admit how much he loved how his name sounded on your tongue, so he never admitted it. At least not out loud.

“Like the Zodiac Aries?”. He was going to correct him and make several snarky comments but you spoke before him.

“A-R-E-S. Ares. Like the God of War. Spirit of Battle. Mars for the Romans” you explained and the smirk that formed on his face further proved how down bad he was for you. The shit was embarrassing.

“I'm the father of her child” Ares added and Trent did not look pleased. He looked back and forth between the two of you and scoffed.

“You've been cheating on me, haven't you?”. He didn't even give you a chance to respond. “You're on my ass about what I did but you've already been whoring around. Just like I fucking thought”

“My kid is eight” you said simply. Ares hated that although you kept stepping back, he kept moving towards you. His shoulders were tall and proud, like he was trying to intimidate you into admitting something that wasn't true.

“I bet you're still sleeping with him or any other man that looks at you! I should've known better than to dedicate myself to a single mother. You're all just cheap sl-” his sentence was stopped abruptly when Ares grabbed onto his shoulder. At first Ares didn't realize how hard he was squeezing his shoulder, but once he noticed the sounds coming out of his mouth and saw his pathetic attempts to pry his hand off of him, Ares squeezed harder.

“She missed a very crucial part” his hand squeezed harder still and he pushed down, making the man hit his knees on the ground hard. “Ares, God of War. Spirit of Battle. Protector of Mistreated Women”, he glanced at you then looked back down at the man clenching his shoulder under him. “Have you been mistreating this woman?”.

Trent looked at you but all that did was fuel Ares’ with more rage. The nerve to treat you so cruelly for months then look to you for help. He yanked his shoulder towards him, earning a shout from him. “Don't look at her. Look at me”.

You placed your hand over his, “let him go”. You spoke softly as if you cared for this speck of dirt that probably wouldn't spit on you if you were on fire. Why? Why do this for him when there are millions of other men out there you could be with? Men that would treat you 100x better than Trent had. Men that would shower you with the praises you deserve and stand by you loyally and ask about your day and do whatever other bullshit mortals do that Ares would do with you if he weren't a god.

Trent had you but he didn't deserve you. Area didn't have you but he deserved you. The idea of Ares deserving something instead of just being given it was strange and foreign and even though gods couldn't get headaches, this is the closest he's felt to it.

“Let him go” you repeated slowly.

“I should get somewhere high before I do”.

“Hilarious” you said, although he wasn't joking. “You're gonna hurt him”. That was the plan. “I'm being serious, Ares. Let him go”.

“And then?”

“Then you leave”. But he stays? You were willing to let this man get away with all he's done within your months of dating and shoo the father of your child away?

“I should kill him anyway. He knows too much”.

He was right. Mortals that didn't have demigods weren't supposed to know about the gods existence, so technically killing him wouldn't be completely out of left field. Technically he somewhat had the right to. That's what his deluded mind was telling him anyway. And even if the man on his knees didn't know what he did now, he still deserved a form of punishment.

Your minds seemed to be linked, because you shook your head at him, like you were telling him “no. Don't do that”. You crouched down in front of Trent who was still desperately trying to free his shoulder. “You want him to let go don't you?”

“Well obviously!”. Ares didn't like the attitude and he was going to push down hard enough to dislocate his shoulder, but you put your hand back on top of his and shook your head again.

“He will. First you have to swear to something. Make an oath. Swear that you'll never come back here. Swear that you'll never talk to me again and you'll never mistreat another woman again. Swear on the River Styx. If you break this oath, something terrible will happen. Won't it Ares?”. You looked up at him, expecting an answer. Ares didn't know the answer though. He knew what happened to gods and demigods but regular average civilians? He assumed it was something bad, but he didn't know how bad. Since he didn't have a solid answer, he just voiced what he wanted to do.

“If you break your oath, I'll find you. I'll tear your legs off so you can't run, then your arms so you can't crawl away. I'll give you medical attention so you don't die and I'll make your pathetic form into a punching bag for when I get bored and trust me, I get bored often”. Ares couldn't see how he looked but he knew he looked scary enough by the way the guy shuddered and looked away from him. He even started to cry, which Ares found ridiculous. He wasn't crying earlier. He was on top of the world thinking punishment wouldn't come and even now he wouldn't truly be punished.

The guy repeated everything you said in between disgusting sobs. He swore on the River Styx and Ares was sure he didn't even know what that truly meant. He just wanted to be let go. Ares didn't want to let go but after some more coaxing from you, he let go reluctantly. Trent ran out the house, still sobbing and holding onto his shoulder.

“Thanks for that” you said when you rose back to your feet, but it didn't sound like an actual thank you. You sounded annoyed. “He'll squeal but no one will believe him about being attacked by a god. He'll drive himself crazy or get himself sent somewhere. He'll always check for you behind him. Is that enough punishment for you?”. Ares wanted some sort of physical punishment right then and there, but he'd either deal with him when you weren't looking or decide this will do. Depended on his mood later on.

“Why'd you do that? Now he won't come back!”

“You made him swear never to come back”, but you didn't seem to like him pointing out that fact. You rolled your eyes,

“Yeah, because I knew you'd break him next time you saw him”. Good point, but why did you still want him around?

“You deserve better”

“And what's better? Someone like you? Someone who pops in from time to time? Someone our child hardly knows? If that's what I deserve, well… I guess I must not deserve much. Maybe I did something wrong in a past life”. Your words cut deep. They cut deep because you had a point. Ares put you in a terrible situation. A lonely one. He made you a single mother and although he didn't talk to mortals often, he was still able to pick up on how mortals felt about single mothers. The unnecessary shame that came with having a child but with no father, even if it wasn't their fault. A large chunk of the mistreated women he protected were single mothers themselves. There was an unnecessary amount of shame thrown onto their shoulders. They could've left a terribly abusive relationship, but all of it was still their fault. They were questioned why they couldn't just stick it out, because surely a child with no father was worse than a child with an abusive father who could “get better” if they just “stopped making problems”. He hated it. Now it was hitting him that he helped place this shame on your shoulders. He never said anything but he still decided to have a child with you even though he knew he'd never be able to stay. He wanted to say he made a mistake, but could it really be a mistake if it all meant he had you in his life even if it was only for fleeting moments?

“You don't need him” he got out finally but you had a counter.

“I need someone. I need someone here. I-I… listen I know Trent can be a handful but it's better to have a handful than nothing at all. You have no idea how lonely it gets and even with him it's still lonely because I can't talk to him about any of this stuff. Do you know how exhausting it is moving a child from school to school? Some schools won't even take her! Says she has disciplinary issues and I should do home schooling but how is that possible if I have to work so we don't end up on the streets?!” your voice got louder and if this was anyone else he'd make them apologize for raising their voice at a god. He didn't interrupt you though. Each word was like twisting a knife inside him and he figured that you should be able to decide when to pull it out.

“Other moms don't want their children anywhere near ours. They think she'll be a bad influence. Some of them aren't bold enough to say it, but I can tell what they're thinking! They treat her like some terrible disease their children will catch and I can't explain why she is the way she is! I can't say 'oh well her dad is a god and the monsters she draws are things she's seeing on the street and you can't see it but honestly she's in more danger than you’. I have to say 'they're just pictures. She's just creative!’ ” You began pacing and rubbing your hands together. “I'm alone and sometimes I don't wanna be alone. Having another adult here keeps the walls from closing in. Ugh. What type of mother am I? I can't explain any of this to my child and I can tell how alone she feels too. I think… I think I'm her only friend. She hears what people say about her. She thinks something is wrong with her. She thinks she's a burden. What eight year old thinks like this?”, You sat on the couch and put your head in your hands. “I'm a failure…”.

“Sad” wasn't the word Ares would use to describe how he felt. Maybe not even “sorrowful”. There had to be a better word to explain how he ached watching you fall apart. Ares wasn't good at personal talks, but he sat beside you and spoke

“You are not a failure”. It was simple, but he hoped it worked anyway.

You looked over at him with an expression he knew would be imprinted into his mind for eternity. “Then what am I?”.

He could go on and on about what you were and how much you meant, but he knew he didn't have much time. Zeus probably already knew he was here. He was nosey like that and he'd do anything to make sure everyone followed his lead. He wished he could tear him apart but Ares knew better than to voice any of the malicious thoughts he had or to try and harm him. Maybe a time would come, but it wasn't now.

“You're doing your best with the heavy burden I put on you”

“She's not a burden” you said quickly. “I'm just not sure what to do anymore. Everything I do seems like the wrong choice”. Ares wanted to approach a topic you seemed to despise but either he was predictable or that mind link was a real thing because next you said “No”.

“That camp-”

“Your family will mold her into what they want her to be and respectfully your family… uhh…” he got it. The gods didn't take kindly to insults and he wouldn't be surprised if you finished your sentence and then was magically turned into a pig.

“She needs to be a warrior. Camp will attempt to make her a warrior”. You didn't seem pleased.

He hated your stubbornness. He didn't watch other demigods as much, but even he knew their mortal mother's tended to die because of their own stubbornness. They'd refuse to send them to camp and when their child realized who they were and the monsters came running… well… there was a good chance everyday struggles wouldn't be a problem anymore.

“She'll realize at some point and you can't protect her”.

“I know” you admitted. The defeat was all over your face and in the heavy breath you took. You laid your head on his arm and intertwined your fingers together. “She's gone for tonight. She's staying with my mother down the street. She's the only one that takes her in sometimes. Can you stay over tonight?”.

“What are you suggesting?”

“You're the furthest thing from funny. I'm not having one of your kids again, are you insane?”. Although you said he wasn't funny, and he wasn't joking in the slightest, you both managed to laugh.

“Seriously, can you stay?”. The sky was clear and sunny but thunder rumbled.

If Ares was granted three wishes from a genie, he'd use all of them to watch Zeus die a horrible miserable death over and over again. What harm would one night do?

Well… a demigod could come out of one night but if Zeus didn't like it, he didn't have to watch.

He knew that argument wouldn't work and he didn't have to speak for you to know the answer. You scooted away from him and you took a sudden interest in the floor.

“I would if I could-”

“I know. I understand”. Another thing he hated about you. You were too understanding. He wanted you to scream at him. He wanted you to scream about how much you hated him and how he ruined you. He wanted you to swear at him and tell him to never step foot near you again. Anything that would make separating easier.

“Ares” you spoke, breaking the silence that filled the room. “If I agree to having her sent to camp, will you watch over her? Can you send one of those- what were they again? Oh! Satyrs. Can you send one of those and make sure they both get to camp safely?”

He didn't have to think. “Yes”.

“And claim her. Maybe not too soon though. I remember when I went to camp people got jealous when their parents would send them letters. I know my camp wasn't a god camp but you know what I mean. I just don't want her to catch unwanted attention”.

“Of course”

“Oh and one more thing. I know I'm asking for a lot but can you give me to the end of the school year. I don't know if she'll want to come back home or if it'll even be safe and-”

“You want time”. You didn't respond but he knew the answer. He knew how hard letting go would be for you and the thought that meeting you was a mistake crossed his mind again. You deserved to have a regular family and a regular husband that you had regular conversations with. Not this.

Thunder rumbled again.

“You have to go” you didn't sound like you wanted him to leave and he didn't want to leave either but he knew he had no choice. He stood up,

“I'll see you again. I promise”

“You've made enough promises, you don't have to do that. You can…” the words seemed like they burned to get out, “you can move on”.

He wanted to argue and say that he'd never truly move on from you. That you were the most memorable mortal he'd been with and he had no plans on leaving you be, but then he realized how selfish that was. Damming you to a life of sitting and waiting until he had time to see you. The thought of you sitting home alone waiting for any sign of him, signs that he wouldn't be able to give as often as you needed made him feel an immense amount of guilt.

“You make me an oath” he started, “I don't know what happens when mortals break an oath they make on the River Styx, so swear on anything that's important to you that you'll find a guy who deserves and appreciates you. Not another guy like before. Not some guy to fill in the empty space in here. I mean a man who will treat you right until you become just a memory”. Knowing he'd never be that man filled him with a burning sensation he couldn't quite explain. Some people would say “I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy” but Ares wasn't like that. He'd only wish this on his worst enemies. Not someone he got into an argument with, or someone he didn't like. Only the enemies that made him spit when he heard their name.

“I swear on our daughter” was all you said and it was all he needed to hear. He didn't give you a kiss or hug you goodbye. It'd make it too hard to leave. He just left. He closed the door behind him like nothing had happened and left you behind.

There was a small part of him that selfishly wanted you to break that oath because that'd mean he'd get to see you again, even if it was only to commit violence. The bigger part of him knew that was selfish. You needed to keep true to that oath, even if it would destroy him to watch you call someone else the love of your life eventually.

This could’ve been a heeheehaha jokey thing but I’m an asshole so here we are. I hope it’s clear that I write requests in the order I get them btw. This isn’t towards the anon, I’m just saying to everyone if a request is taking a hot minute I’m either ill, busy, or working on one that came before yours. I also try to do one requests a day to keep things spread out. Posting all the requests on one day will upset me and my homegirls.

[albertasunrise]

Look for the Light - 3

Masterlist

Summary: Four years ago, Joel saved you from certain death. In return, you followed him faithfully. Always ready to do and give him whatever he asked, despite the hurt it inflicted on you, body and soul. Agreeing to go with him to deliver Ellie to the Fireflies… this would be the last time you’d follow him… After this, your debt would be paid.

Relationships: Reader x Joel Miller, Joel Miller & Ellie, Reader & Ellie

Warnings: Like AO3, I choose to give none. Read at your own risk. 18+ (So excited to share this with you. So much to come folks! 🙊😍)

Series Masterlist - Part 1, Part 2

You glanced in the back seat and smiled when you noted that Ellie had drifted off. You'd been on the road most of the day and you supposed that once the initial wonder of being in a car had worn off, the teenager had succumbed to sleep. None of you had slept much since setting off on this journey. The teenager had rattled on about things she'd heard at FEDRA school and asked questions whenever something unusual popped into view. The teenager had been quiet for the last hour however and you had relished the quiet at first.

Now it was choking.

Joel hadn't spoken a word to you since leaving Bill and Frank's. You knew he was struggling to come to terms with losing the two men. He had considered them friends in a messed up sort of way and to find out they'd killed themselves had been a huge blow. Especially so soon after losing Tess... And the journey continued that way until you came across an old service station, littered with cars.

"We need gas." He announced, pulling in and parking up.

Ellie was quick to jump out of the car and you chuckled at the teenager's enthusiasm.

"Where you goin'?" Joel called out when the teenager sprinted towards the building.

"I need a piss man." She grumbled and Joel nodded.

"I'll make sure the building's clear." You stated and Joel nodded at you, watching as you and Ellie disappeared inside.

You were quick to ascertain that the building was free of infected and people and left the girl to relieve herself in privacy. You pulled out your pack and rested it on the counter of the derelict cafe, pulling out the box you'd managed to find at the store a few days prior. Your hands were shaking as you pulled out its contents and stared at it, almost willing for what you were looking at to be different. scraping a hand over your face, you let out a shaky breath, willing yourself not to cry but finding yourself losing that battle.

"What are those?" Ellie asked as she sprinted up behind you, grabbing one off of the counter before you could stop her.

"Two dashes -Pregnant... One dash - Not pregnant..." She spoke as she studied it.

"Ellie please give that back." You pleaded but the teenager didn't listen.

"Well this one has two dashes so..." She trailed off as the realisation dawned on her and then her eyes drifted up to you "Wait are you pregnant?"

"Ellie-"

"Is it Joel's?" She interrupted as she glanced out the window before looking at the test again "It is isn't it!"

"Ellie please-"

"Man, he is gonna freaaaaak."

"I know okay!" You snapped, finally managing to snatch the test away from her.

"Where did you even find those?" She asked as she watched you stuff the tests back into your pack.

"The shop we had shit stashed in." You stated as you leaned against the counter and took a deep breath.

"You going to tell him?" She asked and you let out a long sigh before answering.

"Well, I'm going to have to." You grumbled, "Not something I can exactly hide from him."

"What you gonna do though?" She asked "You going to keep it?... Only I can't see Joel playing happy family."

"I don't know Ellie okay!" You choked "I don't know what I am going to do but I would appreciate it if you could keep this to yourself until I tell him."

"Sure... Course." She nodded and you released the breath you hadn't even realised you'd been holding.

"Thank you." You replied with a small nod "Come on. Should get out there before Joel comes looking."

Outside, Joel was leaning against one of the many abandoned cars that littered the area, fuel pumping from inside the tank into the can he had sat on the floor beside him.

"Good?" He asked and you nodded.

"Fine." You replied plainly, unable to miss the slight wince that appeared on his face when you spoke.

"We have to do this every hour?" Ellie asked as she watched Joel feed the pipe into another car's gas tank.

"Gas breaks down over time." He replied, eyes still focused on what he was doing "This stuff's almost water."

"Back in the day, we'd drive 10, 12 hours on one tank." You piped up and Ellie looked at you in awe.

"You could go anywhere." She stated and you nodded "So where'd you go?"

"Pretty much nowhere." Joel grumbled and you smirked at the man's reply.

He wasn't wrong.

Joel blew air through one of the pipes in his hand and you watched as the gas started to travel through the other one, the liquid pattering against the gas already in the can.

"Nice! How does that work?" Ellie asked, her interest piqued.

"It's a siphon." Stated Joel as he looked up at the teenager "It's when liquid... travels against gravity... because pressure..."

"You don't know." Ellie needled and you choked back a laugh at the girl's statement.

"I know it works." He replied, eyes wandering to you and your smirk soon disappeared.

Something Ellie keenly picked up on.

"You two gonna be fucking miserable around each other the whole way?... Cus I'm not sure I can handle much more of this sexual tension."

"There's no sexual tension." Joel grumbled and the teenager rolled her eyes at the man's reply.

"Sure there isn't." She mumbled as she turned around.

"No wandering." Joel called out and glanced at Ellie.

"Okay." The teen replied before pulling something from her pack "This is your fault then."

Joel look almost worried.

"It doesn't matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery."

You barked out a laugh that took not just Joel but yourself by surprise. You can't remember the last time you heard a joke. It had been a long time, that was for sure. Not much to joke about anymore.

"No Pun Intended, Volume Too, by Will Livingston." Ellie announced as she showed you both the cover of the book in her hands "Volume Too."

You rolled your eyes at the girl's enthusiasm before looking over at Joel who was shaking his head.

"Look. You get it? 'Too'? Like, T-o-o."

"Jesus." He grumbled.

"What did the mermaid wear to her math class?" Ellie continued and Joel's expression was one that almost looked like terror.

"An algae bra." She chuckled "Like, algae bra."

"Ellie-"

"I stayed up all night...

"No." Joel almost pleaded and you couldn’t not chuckle at the man's obvious discomfort.

"wondering where the sun went... and then it dawned on me."

"Feel free to wait in the truck." Joel growled, shutting the teenager up for the time being.

"Ugh, okay." She groaned " But just know, you can't escape Will Livingston." She warned, looking at you both as she stuffed the book back in her pack "He'll be back... There's nothing you can do to stop him."

Joel managed to get a decent amount of gas from the cars to last you a little while longer. You took the back seat so you could sleep a while, whilst Ellie took the front. She silently studied the landscape as it flew passed the window, careful when she spoke not to wake you. You made one more stop, swapping places with Ellie again so that she could sleep a while if she wanted to. Instead, the teen decided to rummage around in the back.

The girl found a tape that had filled the car with music and for a while, it felt like it was any normal road trip. Like the ones, you'd had with your parents as a kid.

"Oh, man." Called out Ellie "Got somethin' else."

Ellie was silent a while as she analysed what she had found, her eyes growing to the size of saucers at the images she saw.

"It's, uh... light on the reading, but it has some interesting pictures." She stated and that grabbed both your's and Joel's attention.

"Oh. No, no, no. Put that back." Joel ordered but the teenager didn't listen, snatching the mag bag when you tried to grab it from her "That's not for kids. Ellie." He warned but still, she didn't listen.

"How would he even walk around with that thing?"

"Please get rid of it." Joel pleaded and you once again found yourself smirking.

"Hold your horses." Ellie grumbled as she continued to flick through the pages "I wanna see what all the fuss is about."

Joel gave you a pleading look and you shrugged. You'd get the item from the teenager without endangering them all.

"Why are all these pages stuck together?" Ellie asked and suddenly Joel looked like a fish out of water "Uhh... the..."

"I'm just fuckin' with ya." She chuckled, swatting him with the magazine before sitting back and rolling down the window "Bye-bye, dude!" She chuckled as she threw the magazine from the car.

The music continued to play as Joel drove. The conversation between you and the child flowed easily as you talked to her about what she was seeing. She was a curious little thing and it warmed your heart. Your hand unconsciously rested on your stomach as you imagined what the child inside might look like. You imagined a little boy with dark eyes and wild curls. The perfect balance of you and Joel. The image took away the fear you'd been feeling since you learned about them. You still didn't know what you were going to do. This was no world for a baby but there was no safe way of getting rid of it either... and truth be told.

You didn't want to.

When the sky started to darken, Joel glanced at back Ellie before looking over at you and decided that it was probably time to call it a night. He could tell that you both were exhausted and he was too.

"All right. That's enough for today." He piped up and you looked over at him a moment before nodding at him.

He abruptly turned the truck and drove it across a field towards some woods. Driving a fair way in before parking the truck and pulling out some tins of food. After getting the gas stove going, Joel opened up some tins and started to heat them up in a metal tin pot, the smell making your mouth water.

A short while later you were eating the meal Joel had prepared, savouring the flavours. It was the meal you'd eaten in a long while. You knew the diet of jerky you'd been on couldn't have been giving the baby the nutrition it needed so you hoped a few days of decent meals would help it grow. The more your mind dwelt on the baby, the more attached to the idea of being a mum you became. So you decided you were going to keep it... Whether Joel wanted it or now.

"Slow down." Joel grumbled, pulling you from your thoughts.

"This is slow." Ellie mumbled around a mouthful of food.

"What am I even eating?" She asked as she forked another mouthful in.

"That is 20-year-old Chef Boyardee ravioli." Joel replied.

"That guy was good."

"I actually agree."

The three of you ate in silence a while before Ellie asked what you too were wondering.

"How long we staying out here?"

"I figure I sleep tonight... and drive tomorrow, all day, all night, get us to Wyoming by next mornin'."

"So can we start a fire? I'm freezing."

"Now, why am I gonna tell you no?" Joel snapped and Ellie rolled her eyes at the man's tone.

"Because Infected will see the smoke."

"No. Fungus isn't that smart." You piped up, grabbing the other's attention.

"She's right." Joel conceded "This is too remote

for Infected, anyway."

"People?" Ellie asked and you both nodded in unison "So what are they

gonna do? Rob us?"

"Oh, they'll have way more in mind than that." Joel grumbled and Ellie nodded. No more need be said on the matter.

You set up your sleeping bags for the night, one single light illuminating the camp. You said nothing whilst Ellie and Joel muttered things between the two of them. Your mind was going a million miles an hour whilst you stared at the box just visible inside your pack.

Your mind drifted back to the conversation you'd shared a little earlier with Ellie. The girl needled for clarity on what you were going to do about your situation.

"You need to tell him." She said as she glanced at the man who'd been unpacking the truck "Sooner rather than later."

You'd not said anything. Just nodded at him before graciously accepting the sleeping bag Joel had handed you. You'd set yours up a little away from theirs. Wanting space to think about how you were going to approach the subject. As you lay there staring at the sky you heard Ellie speak, the tone grabbing your attention.

"Can I ask you a serious question?" Her tone sounded almost frightened and your heart ached to reach out and comfort her.

"Yeah."

"Why did the scarecrow get an award?"

Your eyes instantly rolled but you stayed silent. Waiting for Joel to tell her off again.

"Because he was outstanding in his field." He replied and you guffawed at his reply.

Joel Miller had a sense of humour. You be damned!

"You dick!" Ellie laughed as Joel rolled back onto his side. "Did you read this?"

"No." Joel grumbled, pulling his sleeping back higher "Now go to sleep."

Silence settled in the camp for a while and you closed your eyes, willing sleep to come but Ellie's voice pulled you back, just as you felt rest tug just a little.

"Those people you said..." She trailed off, tone again a little frightened "There's no way anyone knows we're here, right?"

Your stomach dropped at her question. You'd be lying if you said you weren't frightened of being found. Especially now.

"No one's gonna find us."

"No one's gonna find us." Joel repeated.

"Okay."

With that, the girl allowed herself to close her eyes and you envied how quickly she fell into a deep slumber. You too allowed sleep to take you and you fell into a dreamless slumber. When you woke, the stars were still twinkling above you and you sighed, looking up to see what it was that must've woken you.

Joel was standing guard, gun in hand and you scraped a hand over your tired face before getting up from your bed.

"Can't sleep?" You asked quietly as you came to a stop at his side.

"Something like that." He replied, eyes scanning the darkness.

"What me to take over?"

"I'm fine." His tone was short and it snapped whatever patience you had left in half.

"God, you're an asshole." You grumbled and this grabbed his attention.

"What?"

"I'm sorry it was me instead of Tess." You grumbled as you turned your back to him "I know you'd rather have her here at your side but I can't change what happened."

"I don-"

"I shouldn't have come." You sobbed, wiping your tears with your sleeve "I keep following you around but you clearly don't want me around. I keep inflicting this hurt on myself and I can't do it anymore."

Joel grabbed your arm and turned you to face him. His expression was impossible to read in the dim light of the camp.

"I don't wish it had been you instead of Tess." He uttered, his face not inches away from yours "I have always wanted you around... Since the day I met you."

"What are you saying, Joel?"

He didn't answer with words. He kissed you hard and your hands instantly tangled in his hair as he walked you back. His lips travelled to your neck and you glanced at Ellie a moment before allowing yourself to succumb to the pleasure he was bringing you.

"Got to be quiet ." He whispered as he opened your jeans and pulled them down over your hips.

You nodded eagerly as you helped rid him of his own jeans before opening his shirt and running your hands over his warm flesh. He dropped to his knees, pulling you with him and you straddled his lap, whining at the feel of his erection rubbing against your folds. Your hand snaked between you and grabbed it, positioning it at your entrance before sinking down. Gasping at how well he filled you. Then you kissed him, the two of you swallowing each other's moans as you stayed there a moment, adjusting to his length.

"We haven't got long." Joel uttered against your lips and you nodded, glancing again at Ellie's back before you both started to move.

"Fuck." You choked as he hit that perfect spot over and over again.

The two of you moved in perfect sync. You met each one of his thrusts, noting how he was wincing. This couldn’t be good on his knees.

"Lay down." You uttered but he shook his head, increasing his pace when he felt you start to squeeze him.

"You close?" He asked and you nodded "Cum for me."

And you did. Your heat squeezed him so tight that he came without warning, suddenly racing to pull out but it was too late.

"Shit." He grumbled as he scrambled to get dressed again "Shit, shit shit!"

"Joel-"

"I shouldn't have cum in you." He growled, berating himself under his breath "Fuck."

"Joel, calm down."

"Calm down??" He growled "Do you get what this means?"

"Yes." You spat, keeping your voice low.

"You could end up pregnant." He growled and you threw your head back, letting out a long sigh as you glanced over at your pack.

He watched as you got up, carefully pulling something from your bag before heading back over to him. Your hands were shaking as you knelt down opposite him, clutching the truth in your hands tightly.

"We can't let that happen." Joel uttered, his brows drawn together "We can't bring a baby into our situation."

You let out a sigh before holding the tests out so he could see them. His eyes drifted from you to what you were holding out to him, his eyes widening as he studied the items carefully.

"It's a bit late for that Joel." You replied plainly, pulling his gaze back to you "I'm already pregnant."

Next

Taglist form

[princesssarisa]

I decided to make this poll because I've been listening to the excellent Little Women videos from @littlewomenpodcast, whose opinions and arguments I nearly always find to be spot-on. (And who so generously quotes some of my analysis now and then.) But I'll admit I was taken aback by one remark she and others have occasionally made about Jo and Amy. Namely that as a teenager, Jo bullies Amy, and that Amy burning Jo's manuscript is just the moment when she finally snaps after having been picked on by her sister all her life.

After hearing this, I had to go back and reread all of Jo and Amy's interactions in Part I, because I had never thought of their conflict that way, and I'm still not sure if I do.

I always saw their sibling rivalry as mutual, with both at fault. They're both strong-willed, attention-seeking, quick-tempered girls, they arguably both have different forms of internalized misogyny (Jo by disdaining femininity, Amy by disdaining tomboyishness), and they get on each other's nerves. Jo mocks Amy's childish attempts to be ladylike (and even an only child like myself knows that between siblings, teasing is normal and doesn't equal bullying), while Amy annoys Jo by correcting her manners, and neither is generally better or worse than the other.

Now of course this is their relationship in general: I'm not talking about "Jo Meets Apollyon." In that specific case, Jo does provoke Amy by refusing to take her to the play just because she, Jo, doesn't want to babysit, leaving Amy in tears. And while Amy burning her manuscript is an inexcusable, out-of-proportion response, it's even more wrong of Jo to physically attack Amy when she learns what she did, and almost horrific that she doesn't warn her about the thin ice the next day. But even then, Alcott doesn't describe Jo as always insulting and excluding Amy, and she makes it clear that Amy has played other pranks on Jo before the manuscript-burning. She writes that they've always been prone to "lively skirmishes" because of their mutual tempers – she doesn't blame Jo alone.

Still, maybe it can't be mutual, because Jo is a teenager while Amy is a child. The fact that I have no siblings puts me at a disadvantage, because not only do I not personally know the difference between normal sibling rivalry and bullying, I don't know how much of a difference certain age gaps create. Maybe the fact that Jo is three years older than Amy makes her more of a bully than if they were only a year apart in age. (Still, three years isn't that big of a gap. I don't remember feeling much more mature at fifteen than I was at twelve, just more hormonal.) Also, Alcott does write that Jo had less self-control than Amy despite being older, and in their typical scenes of light bickering, when Jo laughs at Amy's malapropisms and Amy corrects Jo's manners, Jo does always laugh at Amy first, and then Amy scolds her in response. There's also the moment in "Experiments" when Jo hears Beth crying and thinks to herself that if Amy was the one who upset her (she wasn't – Beth's bird died), she'll shake her. We could argue that this just shows how protective Jo is of Beth, but at the same time, she's thinking about physically attacking her little sister again.

In the end, I'm tempted to think this issue is open to interpretation. We can either view the two sisters as having a mutual rivalry and mutually provoking each other (apart from isolated incidents when either one or the other is more to blame), or view Jo as more of a bully and Amy as more of the victim.

I'd like to see what other people think, though.

[lostbetweenvampiresandmusic]

I saw your requests were open! Could I please get David having a crush on a fellow spooky grumpy girl with a secret soft side?? 🥺 I think it would just be so cute if David met his equal and they turned to absolute butter for eachother

It's a bit different than the ask, and a bit longer than I expected, but it just sort of happened? It starts a bit dark, but David definitely likes her? Anyway, I hope you like this!💜

_______________________

There had been disappearances on the boardwalk, even more so than usual. Where the boys fed every couple of days, enjoying a bonfire party, they were, of course, partially to blame. But the latest missing posters that had gone up on the notificationboard had nothing to do with the boys. The new posters showed men, in their mid to late thirties, all having disappeared after going out for a couple of drinks.

David had been the first to notice the discrepancy between their kills and the number of disappearances - and he had decided that he would look into them. If there was another vampire hunting on their territory, they needed to be dealt with. Based on the kills, David would say that if it was a vampire doing the killing, it was a female.

He had gone to the bar where all of the victims had been seen before they'd been killed and was not surprised to see a young woman - no older than twenty-five if he had to guess - walked up to the bar. She was dressed in all black, and David was certain that he could see the silhouet of a knife under her coat. Her dark hair had been tied into a bun, and even though it was dark outside, she was still wearing her sunglasses. Normally, he'd find it pretentious, but somehow, it suited her.

He kept looking as she moved to sit at a table, becoming more interested when a man in his early thirties asked to join her.

"A pretty bird like you wouldn't mind, now, right?" The man slurred. It was small, but David noticed the hint of disgust on her face.

"Sure." Her voice was low, and where David expected it would normally be a warm and soothing voice, right now it was ice cold.

"You see, I've been a bit lonely since I've came here, and I saw that you were alone and I thought that maybe-"

"That I could keep your bed warm?" She tilted her head slightly. "That I'd be a good companion for a single night?"

"Well, not necessarily just one night, but you get what I mean right, I mean surely a lonely girl like you would-"

"Don't finish that sentence."

"- like the attention, right?"

She sighed, taking a long sip of her drink. She put the glass down and looked at the man in front of her.

"You're wrong," she smiled sweetly, "I am not lonely. Besides, even if I was, why would I waste my time on you? Someone who's willing to fuck the very first stranger he meets?"

"That's not-"

"But that's what you wanted, isn't it?"

David had listened closely up until now, and he couldn't help but like the woman. He had noticed, very early on in the conversation that she had this indescribable hint of danger hanging around her. Sadly - or luckily, depending on your point of view - the man in front of her had ignored it, letting himself be guided by his own lust.

"Y-yeah, but -" the man stammerd, shutting up when he saw her shake her head.

"Well, maybe I can help you. Just a little bit."

She stood up and walked out the door, the man quickly following behind. David followed as well, curious to see how she would end this. She had entered the back alley and lent against the wall.

"Can you maybe suck my-" the man started sounding somewhat hopeful, but he was quickly cut off.

"If you think that you can order me around, I'll not only cut your dick off, but also slice your tongue in half." Her voice was darker and colder than before, and only now did the man realise that she was dangerous.

"What?!" The man paled.

"Pants down. Now."

"What? Why? You freaking bitch!"

"Why? I saw you, Rick. I saw how you tried to convince students to sleep with you."

"It was by their own choice!"

"Really? 'Either you fuck me, or I make sure you won't be able to pay your tuition' is a choice?"

The man - Rick - nodded, albeit fearfully.

"I hate people like you. Do you really think you deserve so much more, simply because you have more power? More connections?" The woman had revealed her knife, swinging it around playfully. "Pants down. Now. Or I'll make you regret it even more."

Shakily, the man did what she said, and David grinned as he saw the satisfaction in her face as she carried out her promise. The man sunk to the ground, crying. "Let's this be a lesson for you, Rick."

"You sick fuck!"

"I know where you live. I know where you work. If you ever think of crossing that line in any way - I will know. And I will ruin you."

With those words, she left him, crying and bleeding in the alley behind the bar.

"I don't know who you are, but I know you're there." She stopped in the middle of the street. David smiled, appearing behind her.

"I like your way of handling things."

She turned around, somewhat surprised. "Hm. Never thought a guy would say that."

David grinned, realising she looked more relaxed now than she had done in the previous hour.

"So, you saw all that?" She asked, cleaning her knife and putting it back in her coat pocket.

"I did."

"And?"

"I think we have a lot in common."

"What, you also cut dicks off when someone harasses some girls?"

"I do worse."

At that, she smiled, offering him her hand. "I'm Nancy."

"David."

It was quiet for a moment before she spoke up. "Are you hungry?"

"Sure. My treat."

"Why?"

"I'd like to know you better. Tell me, why do you hunt these men down?"

She smiled, a hint of sadness present in her expression. "My younger sister has been scared to start uni after one of her friends had been harassed by a teacher. I am making sure she can go without feeling afraid."

"You're the cleanup crew?"

Nancy nodded. "I'd do anything for my sister."

David smiled at that, leading her to a small cafe. He ordered for them, and the two of them talked for hours. The more they talked, the more David realised he not only liked Nancy's way of handling things but practically everything about her. Nancy, although she was a bit apprehensive at first, began to feel flustered when he'd tell something or when he really looked at her. He made her feel special and wanted and normal for going on her clean-up mission. They talked about everything, and David was surprised to find that Nancy was part of an animal rescue team. And that she loved nothing more than to watch silly romcoms and that she sometimes wished she could go and explore hidden ruins in the hope of entering some magical fantasy world. How she loved the idea of magic and fantasy but had always loved vampire stories the most. David had grinned at that.

When the cafe closed, somewhere around three in the morning, she was more than happy to accept his offer to drive her home.

"David?" She asked as she got off his bike. "Would you maybe like to, well, mee me for dinner tomorrow?"

"How about I show you some hidden ruins that will lead you to a fantasy world?"

[ateez-himari]

LXST; RECORD TWO

[NEW UPLOAD FROM ATEEZ]

LISTEN TO 'TAKE ME BACK TO EDEN' NOW ON YOUTUBE (until 4:38)

Liked by m.by_sana and 1,203,389 others

ateez_official_ LXST; Record Two

#ATEEZ #애이티즈 #HIMARI #히마리

View all 890,839 comments

sleep_token So glad our fans brought this ethereal song to our attention 🙌🏻 If you're ever looking for someone to collaborate with we'd be more than willing

hynjinnnn i'm so grateful you trusted me to photograph you and bring your ideas to life, it was such an amazing experience 💛the song is so beautiful that i might be responsible for half of its steams right now, save me a seat at the next tour stop🙏

teezify these photo concepts just get more breath taking and the fact that the water is used to portray the emotions of the song...🤌✨️

youremystar an alternative rock/progressive metal song with HER voice, we really are winning guys 🤭 and the creative direction was all her so it really makes those pics more impressive, I can't even explain how I feel looking at them

himarry.me We as a society underestimate just how creative her mind is...she replaced the vowel by an x to make it a series with different themes 🤯Thank you for working so hard our maknae, but please remember to rest 💕

bluebrry she actually performed it at the Toronto concert...I got chills. not only was she acting but she was singing live the entire time, also Mingi as the toxic masked figure from the video?? this stage alone should get an award 🤩👏🏼

08 July 2024 • See Original

Industry Reactions

Mingi made sure his Instagram story was filled with praise for his girlfriend 'from the moment this song started playing in the studio I felt like I was diving into her heart. I'll never grow tired of hearing that angelic voice even in the depth of my dreams so if you won't stream the song, I will 😤Tiny, please show lots of love to my angel, she deserves it especially after the amount of work that went into this track alone. She fell asleep so often in her studio writing everything from lyrics to the music video directions that I had to make her sleep in mine most nights just so I could bring her home later'

J Hope made an unexpected post on Weverse 'I don't usually make song recommendations but I feel like people need to hear this one at least once in their life. We watched her grow up so I was able to see the amount of potential her production had and yet I never thought to hear something so out of the ordinary, she's really advanced to a new level'

American singer Halsey showed fondness for her friend's younger sister on X 'I've only gotten the chance to meet this sweet girl twice yet she's been stuck in my mind ever since and this song is proof of her impact. It goes beyond the restrictions of her industry, it draws your entire being inside the track almost as if under water. I can't properly explain this song so go stream it!'

Woozi surprised fans with news of their friendship on Weverse 'There have been many talented producers who worked with me in the past but Himari instantly stood out to me with the brilliance of her musical mind. We got to talking more as friends and she told me that she didn't take classes until their early debut days, she just watched people like Hongjoong and Yoongi hyung. When producers say that this girl is a genius we really mean it. Take Me Back To Eden is a mix of two different genres yet she makes them work so well together with just the use of her voice, that's a true artist, someone with a creative vision out of what people expect or are comfortable with'

(G)I-DLE leader and producer Soyeon expressed respect on an Instagram story 'Usually senior idols are the ones serving as role models for their juniors, but after hearing Take Me Back to Eden I have to admit that despite being three years older, I really do look up to Himari. What she has isn't just about natural talent, it's hard work, constant learning, harmony in a team, long hours...a lot of us producers admire her work ethic. Her creativity is absolutely mind blowing, she's without a doubt one of the pillars of this generation and I'm sure younger idols will talk about her for a very long time ❤️'

Netizen Reactions

@/bulleobulleooo on X 'That one scene with Apollo when it turns into a man hits so hard...because the sound was beautiful but the chords were cutting her fingers the entire time. Relationship wise that means he was whispering loving things in her ear while destroying her. Omg then the part where she's singing 'Grow back your sharpest teeth, you know my desire' in tears while he's making her look up at him?? This MV is so meaningful'

@/ateenypresent on X 'this is definitely about being lost in someone's corruption 🤔 look at the details, she even has bruises around her eyes like she was burnt by the 'funeral pyre' she keeps talking about being drawn to'

@/himaswife on X 'Hear me out, I think this whole project is about the evolution of toxic love. The first track was about desire for another person, lust, or being drawn in by someone, this one hints to being so blinded by toxic love (of the person she was drawn to) that she loses herself to the point of wanting to go back to previous innocence yet not being able to due to still being trapped by the other. The next one might be called last and talking about the separation from that person.'

@/secretlyjjoongrami on X 'Wait Eden is the beginning, where everything started, but it also represents perfect harmony. With all the clues in the video I think she's been corrupted by the masked man and broken to the point where everything inside her is in chaos. Maybe that's why her dress when he's around is black and torn, but the reflection in the mirror is wearing white, same thing when she's in the water...'

Min Siblings Updates

Yoongi's private message 'My Himari, please know that I'm more than sorry for everything happening at the moment I promise I'll fix it. This is very unfair to you, I can only imagine how stressed everything must make you right now, how much my stupidity bled onto your life. I wanted you to know how proud I am that you're working so hard especially on this incredibly creative project. Your soul is pure art itself, I hope you'll always be able to express yourself like this. Your big brother is so sorry, I love you, always ❤️'

Hanzo's private message 'Don't worry I streamed your new song the second the notification appeared on my screen, Haneul heard it and won't stop asking for me to 'play auntie's song' ㅎㅎ This is a beautiful project but please remember to rest, Hongjoong says he's worried that you have more nightmares lately. Pretty please send me the next track before it comes out, for your big brother that you love so much 🥺My amazing, artistic little tiger, I love you 💕Remember to send me a message when you land in Rosemont!'

Translated from Korean by Google

[midnightmah07]

leobelle's intro post ––✧

'leobelle' is the ship name for Leona and Isabelle, who's my RSA oc based on Belle from Beauty and The Beast!

This intro is a way to easily show newcomers (or just curious people in general) how Isa and Leona's dynamic works, and also a good excuse for me to ramble lol. In this post I'll be sharing their timeline as well as a few fun and random facts about them (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)

How'd they start?

Isabelle and Leona are in an arranged marriage for political reasons. They've met when Isabelle was 15 and Leona was 17, and their marriage was set to happen when Isabelle reached the age of 21.

Both of them didn't have a good first impression of each other. Leona was extremely against the idea of marrying some random girl he didn't know, and because of that he wasn't exactly welcoming when first meeting Isabelle, which made her see him as just a brute.

As years went on and they had their formal meetings and school activities that required them to interact, Leona and Isabelle did not seem to get along at all, with most of their interactions being filled with passive aggressiveness and on some occasions full on arguments. One day, Leona overhears a few RSA students talking about Isabelle and he learns how she's treated as an outcast, people looking down on her due to being strict and having her head in the clouds, as well as fearing she could spill some of their secrets when using her Unique Magic; this made Leona view her in a different light and have empathy towards her, but since Isabelle still perceived him as just a brute their relationship didn't suffer much change.

During this time, Isabelle had developed a crush on Neige. He was the only person in RSA who was willing to get to know her and to listen to her stories from her books. Still, Isabelle is someone very loyal, she knew that her engagement was simply arranged and her and Leona had no actual relationship, but she felt like it was wrong to try and persue someone else. So, one day she ended up confessing just to get her feelings out, and just as she predicted Neige rejected her, telling her he saw her only as a dear friend. This all happened in her second year at RSA.

Later, during an RSA and NRC joint school activity, Leona ended up noticing that Isabelle was quieter and less responsive to most of his remarks, and later he found her crying alone somewhere. He tried making light of the situation, but she cut him off right away; he tried leaving, but he felt bad. So, he sat by her side and stayed there until she stopped crying. He somehow ended up comforting Isabelle, his hand slowly making light taps on her back as she tried to stop crying. He didn't say anything but he sat there with her until she was done, and after that Isabelle felt much better and thanked Leona, it was the first time he saw her genuinely smile at him.

During that exchange, Isabelle shared why she was crying, and she ended up mentioning that even if Neige felt the same, she would've cut things off right away, because Leona was her fiancé, and she wasn't the cheating type. This made Leona curious, he didn't understand her thought process, so when he asked why she was bounding herself to him, she simply said: "I gave my word that I'd stay by your side. I don't think it's fair to pursue someone else, it'd break my promise."

This was when Leona's interest in her intensified, not only did he feel a sense of kinship to her due to how similar people treated both of them, but now he realized that he was someone's priority for the first time. He didn't admit to this feeling, but he felt the need to try and talk to her more, to tease her more, to get a reaction out of her; she would not break her promise? She would not leave him? He started taking delight in messing with her, he even gave her a nickname, 'mousey'. It was like he needed to get her attention, to test if she really regarded him that much, even if just because of their engagement (this was mostly done subcontiously, he never said that he did these things because he wanted her attention).

Isabelle's perspective of him also changed a bit. He was being a nuisance, yes, but she started to respect him because he comforted her during a time of vulnerability, although in his own way, of course. She started trying to argue less, she still nagged him about his duties as a prince, but now it was in an almost affectionate way.

During more of their interactions, probably during visits to Sunset Savannah, Isabelle had realized how much Leona avoided his family, and started seeing that his unwillingness to try and do anything wasn't simply laziness, but part of a bigger issue that made him give up trying altogether. She started noticing him more during Spelldrive competitions and seeing that he seemed like a new person when competing, as well as how much of a great leader he was. This all shaped Isabelle's respect from before into empathy and curiousness; she wanted to learn more about him, to get to know him as a person. His issues, his full personality, she wanted to have him open up to her.

Isabelle and Leona started getting comfortable with each other; Leona would let her read to him (mostly when he was about to nap, but he sometimes genuinely tried to listen to her), and they constantly had chess matches with each other, with no clear winner until today. Even so, Leona was still hard as a rock. He liked Isabelle, he felt empathy for her and he was happy to hear she was prioritizing him, but he was still unwilling to open up.

Isabelle voiced her frustrations to him one day, telling him she wanted him to be comfortable with her, but he denied, telling her that he had nothing to share, which she retalliated by saying that if that was true he wouldn't be so defensive. It was their first actual fight and it happened right before the events of book 2, adding to Leona's feelings of rejection and despair (yes, this is my attempt at making the Simba and Nala fight scene from The Lion King, this is the gist of it but I plan on giving this more details in a story).

After Leona's overblot, Isabelle went to him to see how he was since she was extremely worried, but she didn't mention their fight, she just took care of his wounds. Before she left, Leona apologized to her, he had to swallow a lot of pride to do so, but his fight with Isabelle made him feel worse than he imagined: he missed her voice, their chess matches and even her nagging. Isabelle apologized for pressing on the subject and told him she wouldn't insist on it anymore, but Leona told her he'd try to open up more, but in exchange he wanted her to tell him about her worries and issues. Isa smiled and agreed, telling him it more than a fair exchange.

Later, Leona did actually try to open up more. He didn't answer all her questions, but he answered a few, his walls were still there, but he tried lowering them a bit. It was hard for him but this time Isabelle was patient, and she thanked him everytime he shared a little bit of himself with her. In return, she told him about everything she had gone through and her insecurities, she was nervous about it but she thought it was only fair since Leona was trying to be open.

At the start of book 4, their families, noticing they were acting strange towards each other, decided to give them a little 'nudge' and set them up on a date without them knowing and made them meet somewhere by 'accident'. Leona and Isabelle walked and she found a big bookstore that had a lot of the stories she's been wanting to read, and ya know... Leona just casually bought all of them for her- It was his way of apologizing for making her worried due to his overblot.

As they were about to leave, Isabele apologized for her father doing all of this and he just shrugged, knowing Kifaji also helped set them up. They got caught up in the moment and kissed, then Isabelle ran away because she's a coward- After it happened though, they both pretended that it never did, and a lot of miscommunication goes on because Isabelle thinks Leona doesn't mention it because he doesn't like her, and Leona assumed the same thing about her– Still, this made them finally admit to themselves that maybe just maybe they've developed feelings for each other.

Leona was the one to tell his feelings to Isabelle. One day he just gets fed up with her avoiding him at all costs and straight up tells her that he's been in love with her for a while now and would like her to be his partner and not just an arranged fiancée. She agrees, although she's very embarrased about it, and tells him she's felt the same for quite some time; they've been together ever since the end of book 4.

Random & Fun Facts

As mentioned before, Leona and Isabelle have regular chess matches with each other. They're currently on a tie, since they keep winning against each other everytime, and Leona finds it fun to have a worthy opponent for a change since Isabelle is actually great at chess.

Leona's nickname for Isabelle, 'mousey', was created because "she's just as small as one" and because "her nagging sounds like a mouse's squeaks" to him.

Speaking of nicknames... Other than 'mousey', Leona calls Isabelle 'Isa' and if he's feeling particularly clingy/affectionate that day he might call her 'sweetheart'; Isabelle on the other hand calls him 'dear' and 'Leo'.

Their love languages are physical touch and acts of service, however Isabelle uses a bunch of words of affirmations when they start dating as well, recognizing he has heard enough bad things about himself so she wants to start speaking positively about him to him.

Leona actually knows a few of the books Isabelle has read and he lets her ramble on and on about her favorite stories. He looks uninterested most of the time but if Isabelle asks him a question about what she's talking about he will answer immediately, he's always paying attention to her and wants her to know he'd never find her boring.

Isabelle has vowed to never use her Unique Magic (Inner Beauty) against Leona unless she absolutely has to. She wants to show she trusts him enough to talk about himself in his own time, so she refuses to use it on him regardless of the situation.

Isabelle and Leona get along well with each other's families. Isabelle's always trying to help Falena and Leona meet middle ground and have a good relationship, but mostly just by advising Falena to give Leona space and show that he cares; Leona is loved by Isabelle's father and older sisters, and after they start dating Leona takes it upon himself to tell Isabelle's sisters to stop bothering and making fun of her, and even told her father to do something about it (obviously this was all done without Isabelle's knowledge).

I've written stories about them in my other account @mahs-dumpster if anyone for some reason wants more content (which would be wild like what the heck isn't this already like way too much aren't you sick of them–); however some of the stories don't match the 'canon' ideas I have for them now so they can be seen as AUs.

The dividers I used can be found here.

[citruswriter]

Silly Freedom

Reader x Astarion

Warnings: Angst, ascended Astarion, maybe ooc bc I've never actually played the game (fight me), gender neutral, Reader can use magic, alcohol, Reader gets roofied, insinuations of rape, Reader is chained in a cellar for a bit, reader is wearing a dress (idc if ur a man, put on the fckn dress Steve).

Blurb Extended

Listen In With Me! ↠ⁿᵉˣᵗ ˢᵒⁿᵍ ↺ ʳᵉᵖᵉᵃᵗ ⊜ ᵖᵃᵘˢᵉ

"Astarion?" You called softly as you slipped into view, stopping at the doorway and peering into your husbands study. The scowling man looked up at you, expression immediately softening as he saw you gently leaning on his doorframe. Straightening he beckoned you in with a motion of his hand. "Yes, my treasure?" He replied softly, scooting his chair back some so he could drag you into his lap, arms wrapping around your body so he could draw you close and breath your scent in. "I was wondering, if maybe, I could go out tonight? Alone?" You questioned, lightly chewing on your bottom lip. Astarion pulled back, gaze sharp as he glared at you. "No." He growled. "Oh come on! Why not? I'm more than capable of fending for myself!" You complained as you ripped yourself from his grip to angrily pace around. "Astarion, I love you, but I need some freedom! Please!" You exclaimed as you threw your arms up. "Astarion we used to traverse through treacherous lands together! Fighting monsters that nobody else could!" You had a good point, much to his dismay. A low growl left his throat as he watched you pace in the beautiful silks he had specially handcrafted for you. "This is different! You'll be alone, far away from me and my protection! I'm much more powerful now and it's known that you're my consort! There are plenty of people that would love to get their hands on you as a means to blackmail me!" He honestly wished you'd stop with your silly quest for freedom. He was more than willing to let you roam the city... with him.

"Astarion..." Your voice softened as you turned to face him again, giving him your best puppy eyes. "Please? I promise I'll come back home to you. I'll even bring you back a treat." You pleaded as you approached him again. He sighed, frustrated. Could he really deny you? Absolutely not. Not when you looked at him like that. He opened his arms to you and you sat on his lap once more, hands cradling his face as you gently peppered his face in kisses. His eyes fluttered close as he basked in your affection, he loved you so much... "Please, my love?" You pleaded once more and he groaned. "Fine. But don't get used to it. I expect you home before dawn." He finally growled out and you squealed in delight before scurrying off to change into simpler clothing.

•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•☾☼☽•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•

Astarion held the door open for you as you finally went to leave. "I'll be back before you know it," you cooed, leaving a kiss on his lips for giddily skipping off into the night, ready to start your adventure.

It wasn't long until you found a tavern and went in for a bite to eat. Happily eating your food, you ordered your first drink. You shot it back like it was water and ordered another. Before you knew it, you and an old man were doing shots. People were crowded around the two of you, placing bets, and cheering. "We need more shots?" You called over the crowd, grinning wide. The old man laughed and shook his head, "I'm tapping out!" He said and you screamed in delight. The crowd roared at your victory and you laughed. You excused yourself to go peer out the window, the moon was past it's halfway point. Maybe you should head home soon...

Stumbling back to the counter you made sure to leave the bartender a generous tip. "Leaving so soon?" A male voice slid it's way into your ears and you turned around to find a tall man. "Unfortunately. I promised my husband I wouldn't be gone too late". You said with a smile and the man nodded in understanding. "Well before you go, I bought you a drink. To congratulate you". He said with a friendly smile. You really should head home... But what's one more drink? You grabbed it, chugging down the golden liquid. It felt cold on your lips but it burned down your throat. You giggled and did a little spin, dress twirling around you. You felt nice. Tingly. Dizzy. You sighed softly in discomfort as the world around you seemed to spin faster and faster and faster. Fuck did he drug you? You fell to the ground, vision blurring. You whined out, tears pricking your eyes as all you could think about was your dear husband.

•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•☾☼☽•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•

Time passed by in a blur. You were chained in the strange man's cellar. It was cold and damp, your green cotton dress was torn and dirty. How many days had it been now? You weren't sure, it was dark and you couldn't see the Sun. The man came around everyday to feed you and use you however he wished. You hated it. But if you resisted, you were beaten. Bruises from his later tantrum still stained your body. It hurt. Everything hurt. You thought back to that night. Oh how you wished that you had just stayed home. Sure it could be a little suffocating to have Astarion there constantly almost 24/7. But at least you were safe and protected. At least you were well fed and held tenderly. But this man? He just kept you chained up and gagged with a metal gag in the wine cellar in which he kept his product. Shivering as the cold once again seeped into your bones, the shackles rattled as you went to lay down. You had the worst migraine today. Or was it night? You never knew. "Thank you for taking me so late. I know I'm outside your usual business hours but I really could use a nice bottle of wine." A voice above said. You instantly perked up. Astarion? "Oh? Any special reason?" Your captor questioned as he opened the cellar doors. "My consort... They ran away from me..." He answered and you wanted to cry from the pain and heartbreak that seemed to sleep through his voice. "I don't know where I went wrong." He said wistfully. You didn't do anything, my love. You were perfect. Was all you wanted to say.

Struggling to stand, you walked as far as your chains would let you. If there's one thing your captor didn't count for, is that you were magic. You could have freed yourself but you never had enough strength. He purposefully kept you weak but you had to try now. Raising a hand, you gathered what remaining scraps of strength you had. You had one shot at this... You felt your magic course through your veins. Your hair and dress lifted slightly as you struggled to cast the spell. Pain racked through your body as you sent a vicious energy bolt through the cellar. It bounced around as it crashed into the shelves and bottles. Collapsing from using your last bit of strength, you started crying. Whining as the pain started to set in. You sobbed as you heard your captor attempt to push Astarion out of the cellar, desperate to keep you hidden but he pushed the man back. He knew your magic. He knew what it looked like. He knew what it felt like.

Your captor did everything he did to convince the man to leave, to go. "(Y/N)?!" He called out, tone desperate and worried. You yanked on your chains and whined. A normal person wouldn't be able to hear it, but Astarion was far from normal. His acute hearing immediately picked up on the noise and he ran to find you. Finally, he made it to the back of the cellar to see you. "Oh my..." He breathed out in shock and you whispered, trying ever so desperately to crawl towards him, tears streaming down your face. Rushing into action, he broke your restraints. "I'm so sorry!" You sobbed loudly. "I'm so sorry, Astarion. This is all my fault." You cried. You trembled as he cradled your face, thumbs wiping your tears away. "Shhhh. Shhhh. No this is not your fault. You couldn't have predicted this." He cooed. Your captor tried to quietly turn around to flee but Astarion heard him. "And where do you think you're going," he scowled. He stood up and straightened up to his full height. "Run." He spat, fangs flashing out. The man ran off but he didn't make it far before he was captured. Fangs sunk down into the man's neck, aiming to kill. The man screamed in terror and pain as Astarion turned him into a midnight snack. "My love..." You called out weakly. Snapping his head up to look at you, he softened once more. You wanted to go home, he could tell. He crept over to you and picked you up with ease. "Come, little love. Let's go home." •:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•☾☼☽•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•

Back home, he sat in the bathtub with you. Warm water lapped at your skin as the silver haired male scrubbed your body clean, softly muttering insults about your captor. You didn't move, just let him do whatever he wished in his quest to scrub you clean from head to toe. You dissociated from reality, too exhausted from the past few days to properly connect to him and what he was saying. "Darling?" He questioned, head resting on your shoulder. You snapped back to reality and turned your body slightly to look at him. "Darling are you ok?" He asked, hands reaching up to touch you. Before he could touch you though, you turned more and leaned into his body, hugging him. "Thank you for rescuing me." You muttered, nuzzling into his neck. He looked down at you, you weren't ok and he knew it. But you were safe now. Safe and on the path to getting better. "I'm never going anywhere without you by my side ever again." You said, voice cracking from how overwhelmed you were. He sighed in happiness and held you close. "How about we get comfy and go to bed, hm?" He questioned and you nodded. "I'm sorry for not listening to you," you said softly and the two of you got out of the tub. Astarion hushed you, kissing you softly before drying you off and helping you get into some comfy pyjamas. "Well I guess next time you'll take my advice, darling," he cooed in a playful tone and you offered up a relaxed smile. Dragging you to bed with him, he made you cuddle up close to him. He pet your hair, fingers sinking to brush your scalp as he held you close. It wasn't long before he noticed that you were fast asleep, loosely clinging onto him. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes as the realization of how close he was to losing you. But you were back. Clutching you ever so tightly he breathed in your scent like he had so many times. "What would I do without you?"

Anywaysssssss. Here's my little thingy based off my imagine drabble. I hope ya'll like iiiiiiiit! 😗

Tag List: None yet.

[miamochi-writes]

Hi I hope you're doing well! I love your writings! Also would you ever write a part 2 for "The Only Time I Feel Safe?" That ending you left us with had my screaming, crying, and gushing over it. Please tell me it gets better!

Thank you! I'm trying to balance out work stuff and finding time to rest. And I've gotten so many requests to make a part 2! So here it is! Also tagging @usuallynana since they also asked for this. I hope this isn't too cheesy at the end! I hope you enjoy it! :)

The Only Time I Feel Safe Part 2

After the bandit incident, you've been more careful during your travels with the group. Just like Vash, you had to keep a low profile wherever you went. Thankfully, learning to be a spy all your life had its perks. You were able to snag some clothes and items to obscure yourself in public. Hell, you even adjusted your voice to different pitches thanks to your training. On your visit to the next city, you insisted to the group that you would make it up to them by getting a hotel for them to stay the night.

"Listen Y/n, you don't have to," Meryl looked at you at through her rear view mirror.

"I know, but I want to. Just give me until sunrise to get you money for a hotel," you pleaded.

"Look, newbie just let 'em. I doubt you can change their mind," Roberto butted in.

Meryl sighed as she looked at the endless sand again.

"Fine, but just be careful. At least have Vash or Wolfwood accompany you," she gave in. You looked at Wolfwood who raised his eyebrow at you. Then you looked at Vash who gave you small smile.

"I can keep a look out for you, while keeping some distance," Vash offered as you felt relieved that he was willing to join you.

"Then it's settled. We'll split up again. Roberto and I will be at a local diner waiting for you. But you need to be back before sunrise," Meryl reminded you as you agreed to her terms.

Once you arrived at the next town, you handed Vash a cloak to keep himself hidden. He was already too well known with the wanted posters you kept seeing in every town. Plus his face and red jacket were a dead giveaway to anyone. Once he got changed, you told him your plan of going around the city for awhile to see if you can find some good info. Before you could walk, you felt nervous looking at the crowd. Your mind kept drifting back to what happened before. Your heart was starting to quicken as you thought about those people who were after your bounty. You couldn't afford to mess up now.

"Hey, everything okay?"

You looked at Vash as he snapped you out of your thoughts. He was looking at you with those blue worried eyes of his.

"Yeah, why do you ask?" you tried to convince him.

"Then why are you so tense?" he pointed to your hands. You didn't realize they were turning white from balling them up into fists. This was one of your bad habits you developed. You unclenched your hands and took a deep breathe.

"Okay, I'm a little nervous," you admitted.

"Hey, don't forget that I'm going to be right with you. I'll protect you no matter what. That's a promise," he reassured you.

"You're right, how could I forget?" you said showing him a small smile. He then offered his hand to you. You looked at him wondering what he was doing.

"I can lead the way, if you want. Just in case we need to avoid certain people or areas," he explained. You looked at his hand and figured he had a point. You hesitantly reached your hand to his. Once your finger tips made contact with his, you gently grabbed his hand. You felt your nerves wash away from the warmth of his hand. Despite the traumatic experiences you had with physical contact before, you felt surprised with how comfortable you were with him being this close.

"Lead the way," you told him.

~*~

Once you started walking, you kept your ears peeled within a crowd of people or by any buildings you passed. For the most part, you would hear local baseless gossip or mindless small talk. At some point, Vash noticed some of the military police up ahead and would either lead you another way or hide in a corner until they left. But after a good hour, you finally heard what you were looking for. Some people finally brought up topics about the Windmill Village, Jeneora, or some areas that you recently encountered. You pulled Vash back from walking as he turned around to look at you.

"I found what I'm looking for. I'll be around the corner. I'll whistle for you if I need anything," you told him.

"Okay, I'll hang around here waiting for you. Be careful," he replied as he put his hand on your shoulder. You nodded before walking back to where you came from. You approached the people you heard earlier and talked in a lower pitch.

"I have answers to those questions. Meet me at the corner," you whispered to these people as you passed them by.

~*~

The sun was about to set and Meryl was getting impatient. Roberto was having another drink while Wolfwood was smoking his next cigarette. Before Meryl could get up from her seat, the doors of the diner opened. She turned around to see you and Vash. You walked to her table and put down a good amount of double dollars in front of her.

"This should be enough to cover our stay right?" you asked with a small smirk. Meryl looked at you in shock as she went to go book the hotel rooms. You sat down at one of the tables while Vash joined you.

"I can't believe you were able to make that much money off of sharing information," Vash pointed out as you sighed from how tired you were walking in your disguise.

"I know it's not the best way to make a living, but sometimes information is vital. People will pay for valuable information. I know I would," you commented.

"It's true, people will pay what they can to find the whereabouts of people or events. Take the wanted posters for example," Roberto pointed out.

Meryl then came back with the hotel keys in her hands.

"Good news, I got us rooms. Two rooms with double beds and one single room," she explained.

"Finally, I can take off this disguise," you commented.

"I'm staying with Roberto, no buts," Wolfwood said as he didn't look at Vash. Roberto sighed as he followed behind him.

"Guess it's you and me Y/n. Vash, here's your key. Our rooms are pretty close together and on the same floor in case we need anything. The guys are right across from us," Meryl said as she led you to your rooms.

~*~

After removing your disguise and taking a nice shower, you felt much better to be in your normal attire. You got comfortable on your bed as Meryl was giddy with joy knowing that she wasn't going to sleep in a dune for once.

"Finally we don't have to sleep in the cold!" she cheered.

"I told you I'd make up for it," you laughed at her.

"You know, you've changed a bit," Meryl pointed out.

"In what way?" you asked while turning to her.

"Well you were very reserved, especially with the no touch rule. But after traveling some time, you've been more open. Especially with you know who," she explained as your eyes widened.

"Come on Y/n, I'm a reporter. You think I don't know who you're more comfortable with?" she added while raising an eyebrow.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Also I'm comfortable with you," you argued.

"Yeah but you never gave me a hug," she reasoned as you felt your face turning red.

"You saw me hug Vash?!" you asked.

"I never said who," she smirked as you buried your face on the pillow. Before you could say anything else, your stomach growled. You didn't realize you haven't eaten since you arrived in town.

"I'm going to eat dinner down at the lobby. Do you want anything?" you asked as you started putting on part of your disguise.

"Nah, I already ate earlier. I'm going to sleep after driving for so long," she replied as she turned around.

Once you reached the lobby you grabbed a plate of food and enjoyed some peace and quiet. You thought about what Meryl said earlier on how you treated Vash over the past. After taking your last bite, you headed back to your room. You were about to enter your room until you realized something. You then walked over to the room across and knocked. Vash opened the door and was surprised to see you.

"Hey Y/n, what's wrong?" he asked

"Hey Vash...can I spend the night with you? I forgot my room key and Meryl is already asleep. And I feel bad for waking her up after she drove us for so long," you asked feeling embarrassed on forgetting a crucial item.

"Oh sure come on in," he replied opening the door for you. You walked in and changed out of your disguise in the bathroom. Thankfully the bed was big enough to fit two of you or else you would have been arguing who gets the bed and who sleeps on the chair.

"Hey, thanks for letting me stay here," you told him as you sat on your side of the bed.

"No problem, thanks for getting us a place to stay in the hotel rooms," he thanked.

"It's the least I can do. But I should be thanking you, my nerves would have gotten the best of me if you weren't there," you admitted shyly.

"I'm always happy to help if you need it," he smiled at you. His smile was so contagious that you couldn't help but smile back at him.

"You know, it's funny how when we first met, you were very closed off. Now here you are being this close without sending me death glares. What changed?" Vash asked.

"Well, to be honest...when I first met you I treated you like how I treated everyone. Growing up, I've been hurt many times physically by my mentor and other people. I kinda saw everyone as a threat, but after seeing how much you did for the people at Jeneora that changed. I've never met someone who is always willing to help others no matter the circumstances. Even when they were hunting you down, you still helped. I think that's when I started slowly trusting you," you started. You noticed Vash was staring at you and felt that you might as well tell him everything. You took a deep breathe before continuing.

"But I think I started getting comfortable with the sand worm incident. That's what separates you from the people who've constantly hurt me. You cared so much that you come back for us. You constantly put your life on the line for us when you could have just ran off any time. Plus, you were always kind towards me. You always asked for permission before making contact with me. Whenever we touch, it always felt nice. You never once hurt me. You’ve kept me protected even when I was aloof towards you, especially with those bandits. What I'm trying to say is, I like being with you. The only time I feel safe is when I'm with you," you admitted as you looked at him. You could feel yourself blushing from what you just told him.

"You feel that way about me?" he asked as you nodded.

"Even though I'm one of the most wanted outlaw in Noman's Land? You've heard what people call me. 'The Humanoid Typhoon,' No matter where I go, danger follows. You can never have a peaceful life," he continued.

"I know what they say, and I still feel safer with you than other people. Also have you forgotten what I grew up with? Your lifestyle is nothing compared to the amount of torture and danger I used to face every day with my mentor," you pointed out. You then grabbed both of his hands and gave them a small squeeze before looking him in the eyes.

"I would gladly travel with you, get cops off your back, and live this lifestyle if it means being by your side. I'm with you until the end Vash," you pointed out and didn’t break eye contact. He needed to know even if it put you in a vulnerable spot. Vash’s lip started quivering as he looked at you fondly with his beautiful eyes.

“Y/n, can I hold you for a bit?” He asked. You smiled and nodded as you felt his prosthetic hand rest on the small of your back, while his human arm held your head. He brought you close to him as your chin landed on his shoulder. That’s when you felt him tightly embrace you. He was so warm that you didn’t want to let go. You hugged him back as he began to talk.

“Thank you Y/n, that’s the sweetest thing someone’s ever told me. Thank you for always being there for me. I promise to keep you safe no matter where we go. I want to be there for you the same way you've been there for me after the Jeneora incident," he told you.

"Of course, I'll always be there for you if you let me. I'm glad we met," you told him as you felt him nuzzle your neck.

"Hey Y/n? Can I do something else with you?" he asked.

"You don't have to ask for permission anymore to touch me Vash. You're the only exception," you reassured. You knew he wouldn't hurt you and you felt more than comfortable with him at this point. You then felt him look at your face as he smiled at you. He then leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on your forehead. You immediately turned red as that caught you off guard.

"You kissed me?" you asked.

"Sorry was that too much?" he asked looking concerned. You then grabbed his face gently and placed a small kiss on his lips. You heard a sharp inhale, but soon he relaxed as you smiled into it.

"No, that just means I can kiss you as much as I want now," you smiled more as your cheeks were pink. Vash's eyes widened as he pulled you to his side of the bed for another hug as he started giving you butterfly kisses all over your face.

"I'm happy you forgot your room key so we could spend the night together," he told you as you laughed.

"Yeah, next time we stay at a hotel I'll gladly room with you over Meryl," you replied as you gave him another peck on the lips as he nuzzled your neck.