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thankskenpenders · 1 year ago

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Happy new year, everyone! Welcome to 2024, the year that will mark the 10th anniversary of Thanks Ken Penders. I'd like to go over my plans for the blog for this year.

First of all: in the very near future, I'll have a post with my thoughts on Sonic Dream Team, and I'm sure I'll write one last Sonic Prime review once the final episodes drop on the 11th. I've also been sitting on an unfinished piece about the Sonic LEGO sets. I wanted this to be longer and more detailed piece that not only reviewed the sets but also went into the weird disconnect between homogenized image of Sonic the Brand and the actual fiction it's based off of, but it'll probably end up getting cut down a lot just so I can put something out. Let's just say I did a fun little thing with one of the sets.

Second: yes, I would like to return to regular TKP updates this year. As I've said many times, I wanted to do this in 2023, but I've been suffering from creative burnout after finishing SLARPG and have generally been unable to focus on any of my creative goals this past year. I'm hoping that this year will be better and I'll be able to get back into the swing of covering Archie Sonic issues. Even doing one issue every week or so would be vastly preferable to continuing the hiatus. I'm still only halfway done!! But aside from burnout, my other main hurdle is that I need to reread my own archive to refresh myself on all these things after nearly three years away. This will take some time.

The thing is, though, this year I'll have an extra incentive to go back through my previous writing and brush up on all things Archie Sonic. Because you see...

I've decided that I want to make a video essay about Penders. The comics, the copyright battle, The Lara-Su Chronicles, everything.

The why

I've thought about doing this before, but I never committed to the idea. I was too busy with gamedev, or I thought it'd end up being too long, or I figured that there were already enough videos on the subject, or I just lacked confidence in my ability to put together a video essay. So I told myself it wasn't meant to be, and let the multiple YouTubers who have cited me as a source on their own Penders videos fill that void.

Recently, though, a few things have happened that have convinced me it might be time. For one, YouTube video essays/media retrospectives/etc. are just getting longer and longer. When Quinton Reviews is out here doing 21 hours of videos on Sam & Cat, a subpar Nick sitcom that only lasted one season, I don't feel so crazy for wanting to make a video about several hundred comic books and two lawsuits that'd be at least an hour or two long lmao. Admittedly, I've also been self-conscious about doing a long video essay like this as a trans woman who has yet to do any vocal training. But these days I feel like I see a lot more transfem YouTubers who have done little to no vocal training, and that's given me more confidence on that front.

But the big one was Hbomberguy's recent plagiarism video. As I sat there watching it, I kept thinking about the time I found a CBR article that was just a crude 800 word summary of my two previous articles on Penders, published by a CBR writer who's put out over 4000 articles since 2019. If I've already been plagiarized before, and my writing is so frequently passed around as a go-to source on Archie Sonic drama, then I wouldn't be shocked if there were YouTubers out there straight up just plagiarizing me. I don't watch other peoples' videos on Archie Sonic, so I'd never know! So if people are just gonna paraphrase me when covering these topics anyway, why not take matters into my own hands and make what I would consider to be the definitive video on the subject? If hacks like James Somerton and iilluminaughtii can churn out these shitty video essays and people will still watch them, surely it can't be that impossible to make my own, right? (And also, uh, Hbomb literally told me I should make the video lol. If you're reading this, thanks for the encouragement.)

The what, how, and when

So here's the plan.

Part of this video essay will be an adaptation of my Medium article on the recurring themes of Ken's Archie Sonic run, with its content touched up and expanded upon. There were a few things I skimmed over in the article because I didn't want it to get too long, but again, people are out here watching ten hour videos about bad Nickelodeon sitcoms now. I can get away with elaborating a little more. I can add a few paragraphs talking about the Chaos Knuckles arc, or throw in a little more historical context I've discovered in the years since.

After covering the comics, the back half(-ish?) of the video will be dedicated to the copyright battles and their ensuing controversies, trying to give an accurate picture of what actually went down, the sheer scale of how bad Archie fucked up, and what our takeaways should be. This will have some similarities to my New York Magazine article on the subject, but I'll be rewriting it from scratch. I REALLY had to keep things short for that article because I was already way over the expected word count, and my tone was a little more straight-laced than normal because I was trying to keep things Professional. I can riff more and insert more of my own opinions this time, like I normally would.

I'll inevitably have to touch on some of Ken's Bad Tweets when discussing things that have happened after the lawsuits, but I don't want the video to just devolve into a list of times people got mad at him on Twitter, so I'm gonna try to keep that to a minimum in favor of focusing on his actual work. Things like the Scourge the Speed Demon incident and his continued statements on certain characters' copyright statuses probably warrant mentioning, though. And finally, assuming that the book really does come out this summer, I would like the grand finale of the video to be about those first couple chapters of The Lara-Su Chronicles.

I don't currently know when this video will get done, but it'll probably be in the back half of the year, especially with me waiting for the book to either drop or get delayed yet again. But I've actually already started writing a bit of the script, and will keep chipping away at it for a while.

So, uh, yeah, look forward to that? Wish me luck?

#tkp post

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beryllineart · 3 months ago

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The Cost of Mercy

This is my 100th post, I wanted to do something special and I liked this idea. It was not originally going to be this long. (20 pages! Wow!)

Because this took me half a month to create, I think I'll probably do a little "making of" post just to discuss how the end result differed from my original plans for this comic. I wish I could say I have a backlog of art to post, but I don't, and this comic might have given me burnout.

Ughhhh, my stupid brain has been telling me non-stop how "talentless" I am and how all of my drawings look terrible and that made making this comic an uphill battle. But I did it, and I hope that eventually I can feel proud of it. In the meantime, I think I need to do a couple of art tutorials so my brain actually acknowledges that I've been improving.

(Update: took a break between page 10 and 11 which improved my mental state, I still feel it's important to acknowledge that time of low self esteem and how I pushed through it. Also, I learned what a pen stabilizer was on page 12.)

I deserve a small ramble about this comic, right? Actually, it's pretty much as long as the comic itself, so you have been warned.

Yeah, so, this was inspired by my Susie vs. Lancer comic. In that, Susie does not admit her vulnerability to herself in time and that leads to her making a mistake she regrets. I wanted to show Asriel showing false vulnerability (my headcanon of him being an actor coming into play here) and creating a betrayal similar to Susie's, only this one was on purpose.

"But Beryll," I hear you say, "doesn't Asriel think Frisk is Chara? Why on earth would Asriel kill his best friend?" Well, besides the fact that a) Asriel is both a god of hyperdeath and a LV 9999 maniac b) he's already killed Frisk dozens of times in this battle alone and c) the image of black silhouettes on a red background with a glowing white sword is too cool to pass up, I have a little interaction I couldn't fit in the comic that should explain things.

That's my way of reconciling the whole "I thought you were Chara" thing when Chara and Frisk do not physically look alike at all. Remember, Flowey's genocide dialogue in the Ruins says, "I have a plan to become all powerful. Even more powerful than you and your stolen soul." Meaning that he knows this human physically is not Chara come back to life, but something in their mannerisms or something is so similar to Chara that Flowey convinces himself that they are. And in this comic, Asriel was so desperate for Chara to remember him that he takes Frisk's soul for himself, in the hopes that when they are reunited Chara will come back as well. (And he had to get up close and personal because of the soul's annoying tendency to crack before he can take it, also, glowing white sword. That's why I don't show the heart as broken on page 4, even though that would give the off the "dead" vibes more clearly.)

And now we come to the part where he says, "Hey, remember that time you wanted to kill all of those humans? Want to try again?" I think Flowey has been holding on to the whole "kill or be killed" mentality because he thinks it was his fault that he and Chara died. He fears being weak and being a coward, which is why he became a sadistic LV 9999 psychopath. Again, the whole acting headcanon thing that I rambled about in a different post.

Asriel's last memories of being with Chara are of feeling Chara's anger towards the humans, and when they finally reunite, he can't accept that, as a ghost, Chara learned to let go of that anger, having realized their own mistakes and realizing that it was their anger that got them into trouble. But Asriel has been holding on to that anger that wasn't even his own, all because he believes that it was his fault that they both died, since he fought against that anger.

So yeah, Asriel and Flowey's strongest emotions are actually guilt. Flowey's got a bit of survivor's guilt because he was brought back, albeit as a flower. But most of the guilt comes from convincing himself that it was his fault he and Chara died. That guilt causes him to reject all of the positive emotions that come his way and hold on to the hurt for so long that he hardly realizes it's there, causing that empty feeling that he thinks is a lack of emotions. But if he ever managed to actually let go of his guilt, he would realize that he actually can feel emotions. I have never believed that soulless = emotionless, given the way Flowey acts.

I just want to say, when Asriel resets in this comic, I'm definitely imagining a thing like when Majora's Mask Link plays the Song of Time, where all of the souls are leaving him like Link's items leave as he falls through the void, finally waking up as Flowey. Also, from a mechanics standpoint, Asriel has access to several save files when he's got Frisk's soul. He can reset to the moments after he got Frisk's soul, to when Frisk took away his control over resets, and to when he was first brought back as Flowey. He can't go further back than that because he can't go back to a time he didn't have that power. The only reason he can go back further than the moment he stole Frisk's soul is because of the enormous amounts of determination from all of the souls he has, both monster and human.

Okay, now I want to talk about the ending of the comic. All sweet and nice because Flowey's finally learning to let go of some of the things that made him evil and mean, right? I'm writing this ramble halfway through drawing the comic, so I'm assuming how that ends. (Also, if it's not clear, Frisk has forgotten their entire time in the Underground before. To them, this is the first time they've been down here.)

Well, that leads me to wonder, how will Flowey act since he has decided to be nice and stuff? Honestly, I don't know how the boss battles would go, but I think he and Frisk would develop a genuine friendship. He would hang around places he's pretty sure have save points, maybe give some tips and share a joke or two. Basically, imagine something like what he does for Clover in Undertale Yellow.

But, because we can't have happy Flowey, let's give him a new source of guilt. Now, Flowey lives in fear of Frisk finding out what he did, how he preyed on their sympathy just so he could kill them and steal their soul. He's been acting nice now, and enjoying their friendship, but he can't convince himself to fully commit to it (acting headcanon mention three) because he's afraid he might lose that friendship. Which is why, when Frisk chooses to hug and forgive Asriel, he refuses both, since he remembers what happened last time they hugged (on page 4) and he doesn't feel he deserves forgiveness when they don't even remember the truly horrible things he did. (Again, I'm not completely sure what the boss battles would have been like.) <Actually, I've taken a few days since writing this ramble and have figured it out but will discuss it in a future post.

But Frisk is a determined kid, and after they watch the sunset with everybody (and decide to live with Toriel of course) they go all the way back to the Ruins where this happens.

I hope you are noticing the parallels between Frisk and Chara that help defend Flowey/Asriel's confusion, because I worked hard on integrating that. They are very much alike.

So, that's the end of my ramble. I guess a long comic needs a long ramble, huh? Despite my brain's attempts to convince me otherwise, I actually really enjoyed making this comic. If you did read this whole thing, good for you! I'm not the best at explaining these things in an understandable manner, so I know it might have been hard to read.

Also, January 16th is/was Appreciate a Dragon Day. So here's Douglas, who guards my things while I do art. (I did 6 pages today, so Douglas got plenty of work in.)

#asriel dreemurr #chara #frisk #flowey #comics are hard #beryllineart #I can't draw hugs or backgrounds or night skies or tears #tune in next time for when papyrus actually blasts you on a genocide route #or somehow kills you on a neutral route #<<that's a joke #mostly because i am legitimately not sure how on earth that scenario would happen #comic #undertale #undertale comic #my art

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mc-survivalist-steven · 1 month ago

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(Heya! Ooc related: I’ve actually been thinking of starting a Minecraft ask blog myself. Do you have any advice on how to get your foot in the water? Are there any communities I can join to connect with people more easily?)

/ooc HAHAHA- Oh man.

To start off, do note that: This is entirely MY perspective and MY experience. I'm gonna tell you ALL I know, so the good and bad will be included. Always take advice with a grain of salt.

IT'S GONNA BE SUPER LONG, FAM, SO IF YOU AINT INTO READING ESSAYS IN SOME NICHE HOBBY just scroll all the way down 👍

Also, I've been an outlier in this community for prioritizing askblog and storywriting (than jobhunting. DO NOT BE LIKE ME.), so, please don't use me as an example and find what's the best askblogging style for you.

▦ Note: edited at 26/03/25 for better readability and extra elaboration on some parts.

1. Know the scene. (Currently? p bad lmao)

Here's the first bad news: You kind of entered at the timeframe of Highest Difficulty (tm) at the moment. I'll be real with you right now, the community is very inactive atm. I can't blame them. A lot of people I know have real life priorities to do. I myself am only here because I'm doing askblog mid commissions and jobhunting.

With that said, you CAN still open an askblog, you just have to realize that the following will occur:

↪ Lack of the interactions/asks you hope to have. ↪ Lack of notes/validation. ↪ Lack of people who would plan with you or join events. ↪ Lack of interest.

And this WILL suck. It'll get to you. It got to me, obviously. But I'm still going because, again, I am an outlier, and TECHNICALLY I also have a goal I always look forward to to keep creating, which ties to...

. .

2. Your type of Askblog. (Neutral. This depends on you.)

Note first that you CAN always experiment and change styles midway if you don't feel for it. I only find mine because I've been here since 2013, LMAO, so don't be too pressed as a beginner.

But knowing the type of person you are, how you create, and your limits in creating is important. Knowing where you also want to steer your blog is important. Your skills are also important.

So your askblog MUST depend on what kind of content you want to do.

↪ Do you want to do askblog just for fun? Then limit the amount of effort you put into it, else you burnout when you don't get the validation you want. ↪ Do you do it to practice art or writing? Then put your SOUL into it. Just know it'll be slow and slow = also slow engagement. ↪ Do you do it to tell a story only? Not really an artist? Might want to commission someone for RP emotion icons and flex off your writing chops. Do know ppl prefer images rather than text.

This will be the core basis of your motivation for the blog. If you lose sight of this, you will burnout/quit faster.

I suggest if you don't know what to do: Do it for fun first. Do it blind. Notes will start very small, mostly 0 and max at 3... but if you have no expectation, you will take it less painfully. This is important, especially when you start off. And overtime when you start to solidify what you actually wanna do with the blog, you may switch gears. People will follow it if they're interested! So just keep trying.

. .

3. How to Run an Askblog (The hard part lmfao)

Bro I cannot stress ENOUGH that I cannot read people and especially you. I cannot tell you how to run your askblog. Your vision of your OC and story is purely yours, so only you can unlock the secret of what makes your blog 'you'.

But I can tell you what USUALLY works in nabbing people's attention and want to interact with your OCs:

↪ Endermen OCs. (e.g. askendy) They are super popular. No shade to Endermen blogs, it's just what works + the endermen community is the largest rn. ↪ Great artist and replies with images. (E.g. Askzub) Sorry to all the text only askblogs / those who answer with too much text... but if you wonder why people engage less, it's probably that. ↪ Great event hosts, aka blogs who knows how to rally up the masses in a collaborative effort to spice up the community. (e.g. rnotsleeping, 'Monstrosity of the Night' event) ↪ A continuous story featuring duo/trios with engaging storyline. (e.g. hexavexen and ask-vulcan-and-toby) ↪ A gimmick that is simple but interesting. Keep it to one sentence, e.g. mine: 'Retired herobrine with one eye.' (this caught the attention of a LOT of people surprisingly.) ↪ Characters that copies canon minecraft design concept to a T, but has some kind of story people wanna see. (e.g. Enderbro.) ↪ HUMOROUS/SOFTCORE blogs. Ironic, slice of life, or funny. We need more humor tbh. (e.g. hiiamramy (i love this cute blog lmao))

Again, these may or may not work for you. This is the trend that I just frequently see. You can make whatever you want, but know that these are what I see usually climb up to the top.

MEANWHILE, here's the parts that I think DEFINITELY make blogs stand out:

↪ Utilizing your asks in a smart way. (More at #4) ↪ Askblogs with APPROACHABLE quality. Askblog is about interaction.You may want to make space for people to include their OCs (TO A DEGREE) with you and also experience your stories with you. ↪ Characters who don't annoy the viewers/other askbloggers through asks. I cannot stress enough how merely annoying people can get you so much flak. ↪ Characters who tries to interact a lot with other blogs, but isn't intrusive about it. Keep it cool when you try to interact with bigger blogs! They're all riddled with anxiety just like the rest of us.

But also, here's the deal: If you want to break the market, you got to put in some effort. Basically, the same as marketing every products and yourself. You gotta post often, draw often, and send asks (THAT WORKS for both you and your target blog) often. Sometimes you hit the jackpot, most times people ignore you.

It's par for the course. If you think something isn't working, though, always ask for criticism. Just... know that most ppl are too nice to tell you where you went wrong, so, uh... Idk? Ask someone who you trust and is willing to be upfront with you, I suppose.

. .

4. Utilizing ASKS holy shit this is so important to me

You know how in 2013 everyone spams asks so much that you have like 80 asks per blog in a week? And that 'if you spam me or send asks that is unfitting to the blog, I'll delete it uwu' mindset?

Don't.

Let me let you in into my secret. Asks are RARE these days. Baiting for them is even harder. Only your friends will send you asks, and overtime they'll run out of things to ask. If someone sent you a humor ask and you want to throw it away... well... What if I tell you not to?

Here's what you can do:

When you get an ask that feels too humorous or OOC or trolling, weigh how much you can twist it to fit YOUR narrative. For example, this is the ask I got.

Imagine getting this 1 year ago at the peak of Steven getting stuck in the Nether at a break apart state. Your first reaction would be: 'Man, this makes no sense. I should delete it.'

Nope. Weigh it first.

Can you utilize this somehow? Usually, id either answer it in character and then end it with some kind of lore reveal. (e.g. your character sees this and goes 'no! I never did this! ...or did I...' -flashback about an enderman friend they've forgotten-) so you still answer accordingly BUT also reveal something about your character!

See? This engages viewer's interest while also accommodates the ask. Everyone's happy.

Do note some asks can't work like this no matter what you do. You can bank these for future happenings.

...and if the asks are highly uncomfortable, or clearly a troll you can't utilize, or just 'hi.'? Probably just delete those, yeah.

. .

4. pt2, Baiting asks.

Baiting asks is like fishing. You gotta know when to reel and when to hold. Lemme explain.

The basic on this is: don't make your ocs TOO mysterious, but also not TOO open. TOO MUCH OR TOO LITTLE INFO ABOUT YOUR OCS WILL NOT HELP EITHER PARTY! Especially when we are in a drought like this! So yap, reveal, hide ONLY the most important secrets they have, and then reveal it slowly through asks and flashbacks.

Make askers feel that they unlock your ocs more (satisfaction on their end) and you get to infodump on them who your OCs are in a slow pace (satisfaction on your end.)

"But Doe, I can't do this if I don't even get asks."

I grab you gently.

Then drop lore posts.

I notice a lot of askbloggers refuse to post ANYTHING unless they got asks. DON'T. DO THIS. Realize that people usually don't ask because they have NOTHING to ask about. GIVE them something to ask about!

And remember! Do it in a trickle. BOTH in your standalone and answer posts.

So reveal in a consistent, slow trickle way. Give people things to ask about, while also not be too protective of your secrets and reveals.

4. pt 3, throwing asks.

I BEG OF YOU. SEND ASKS.

You send asks in return to getting asks. That's why non-anon asks is IMPORTANT. It lets people know WHO you are! SO THEY CAN SEND ASKS BACK AT YOU.

Here's my formula:

↪ Read the blog about 20 posts back and figure out something you can ask about. ↪ Ask 2 asks IN CHARACTER, PROPERLY. (format: "your ask here" > Line break > @.yourblogurlhere) This allows you to extend an olive branch for interaction (and future character relationship (friendship, enemies, rivalry, etc)) with the character, while staying in character. [E.g. "Hey, man! I noticed the sweet ride you have outside the house. Is that yours? Because I got a lot to talk about if you like cars!" - @.software-bugs-b-gon] ↪ THEN SEND 2+ MORE ASKS IN ANON with differing styles and personalities to give them MORE FOOD to continue their blog. This allows you to be slightly mean or out of character and gives YOU more ooc leeway to pry the character open further.

Now you just askbombed a blog with 4 asks! That's 4 POSTS OF CONTENT! You're happy, they're happy. YIPPEE!

AND IF YOU ARE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO GOT AN ASKBOMB, please either return it or spread it to other blogs. Please.

P l e a s e. . .

5. Keeping it fresh.

Like a comic, people gotta come up with new story ideas else the blog stagnates.

If you aren't a story driven blog, letting people do M!As or just do silly 'scenes' and 'situations' work. Think of it like a slice of life or a sitcom.

Shit happens, and your OC is put into it. Let people ask things that help drive them around!

If it's story related, breaking it into arcs and story events will also help you introduce something new per arc and thus, not stagnate!

. .

6. I am tired of askblogging, and I want to take a break. How do i come back from that?

By, uhh... By just coming back?

There's not really a secret sauce to this, I feel like. Do note I am one of the more well-known askblogs out there, so I can just come back anytime and still have people waiting for me. I know that much. But still, not EVERYONE waits for me, y'know? So I just treat it like I'm starting over. No expectation, no grumpy because people aren't waiting for me. I just write for myself and to entertain, and those who like will come back and those who don't can leave and this is okay. This is normal! Don't lose hope.

It's kind of depressing to say 'just don't expect too much,' but it is actually the mindset you need. Do it for YOU, mainly.

And if you somehow deep, deep down know what you have isn't working out?

It's fine to quit! Or restart. Whatever works for you.

But also, quit with honor! Keep these in mind:

↪ DON'T JUST POOF. Believe me. You may be surprised how many people will be sad you're leaving, and what's worse is leaving things open ended will bite you in the ass. I've seen it happen. THRICE NOW actually. None of them ever ends pretty... I'd suggest just taking a hiatus before breaking the news. ↪ Take note of everyone you plan with, and contact them. Tell them you are quitting, and open up a conversation on what they can do in your absence to not break their story midway. Just- just keep open communications going? It'll suck then but it'll cover your bases. ↪ Tell your followers. Obviously LMAO. ↪ If you have the balls, ask them to anon message you on what you can do better for next askblog. People will be more upfront when they are hidden in anon, so you will get some nasty comments. If you want to pursue better writing/art/askblog and you can take the heat, try it out. If you CANNOT take the heat, DO NOT DO THIS. Especially when you quit for mental health reasons. ↪ This is just me to you, don't delete your blog, man. Just close your asks and let it up for good time's sake. I can't tell you what to do with your blog, though, but I prefer archived blogs over deleted ones.

. .

7. Last one I promise: HAVE. FUN.

Askblogging isn't a full time job. You do it because it's probably like a lite-comic for you. (me.) Or maybe it's a place to showcase your OCs. (me.) Or maybe it's because you are insane and you just want to yap about stories and humanity and touch that SOUL in everyone and understand complex emotions in niche situations that wrench your guts (also me.)

No matter the answer, have fun. The blog is for you to LARP as your character and interact with others. Find your community, find the people you belong with,

and most importantly: FIND THAT SWEET SPOT OF WHY YOU CREATE IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Just have fun. It's your blog, your rules. I am just an old man who likes to see more blogs show up, so whatever your decision is:

Make your own damn fun, okay?

ALRIGHT THATS MY YAP HERES THE TLDR:

The scene is currently dead, but make one anyway. Just don't expect much from it atm. You will start on Highest Difficulty, and I don't blame you if you can't garner interest no matter what you do.

Decide on your type of askblog. This will be your core, so if you lose motivation you still have the core to fall back onto. Why do YOU want to make an askblog? What is it for you?

Askblog isn't easy to run. You have to keep your eye on trends, other blogs' stories (you are invested in) and events. Some things work and some don't. But most importantly: Post a lot, include pictures if can, send asks and interact a lot with others!

Know how to utilize your asks. They are SCARCE. Don't just throw away asks that 'makes no sense' and try to twist it your needs. b. Additionally, learn how to bait asks by feeding your viewers bits and pieces that makes up a big secret/character of your OC. Give them something WORTH asking. c. ADDITIONALLY throw a lot of asks. Send some in character and a LOT in anon. Make some askblog happy. We need asks, after all.

Keep it fresh. Don't let the blog stagnate.

If you don't think it works out, it's ok to Quit or Restart. But please do it with other people in mind. Quit with dignity.

Finally, HAVE FUN. Do what it takes to keep the fun fresh for YOU.

. . .

For communities, I suggest LiLaira's MC discord community just to find people you can vibe with. You can then do your own smaller discord community to yap MCaskblog with, preferably those you are chill with and can rotate ideas with.

Joining here also will give you access to the Tumblr MCaskblog community, which helps with your MCaskblog feed.

(both are currently low activity though, just a heads up.)

I'm sure there are more communities out there that I don't know of. Just research who are behind them and be careful with what you choose!

I myself is in the above MC discord. If you wanna yap OCs with me, I am the kind of bastard who camps in the oc discuss channel, sooo... I guess I'll be waiting! :D

#mcaskblog #ooc #askblog #just askblogging in general #listen.#this is one of the weird niche hobbies i have in my life #i am a weird outlier with no life #please dont use me as your bible #i will however help you the best I can #good luck in your endeavors!

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raes-writing-space · 1 year ago

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Tadashi Hamada x Reader *Academic Burnout Comfort*

Warnings: Academic burnout, mentions of self-doubt and stress. Not beta read.

Summary: After doing your best in your academics, you still feel like you're falling behind or just on the wrong academic path in general. Tadashi helps comfort reader that if they want to take a break and rethink things, it's totally okay.

Word Count: 1, 729

A/N: I haven't written for Tadashi in so long, but this was very therapeutic for me. Also Oz Pizza is an actual pizza place in San Francisco, I don't own the rights to the name or anything. However, they do have great pizza imo. Since this one was a bit longer I put it under the "keep reading" line below.

You were only a year away from graduation, that's what you kept trying to tell yourself. All you needed was to get through two more semesters after this one, and you were already half way through this semester. Still, as you're trying to study for one of your class midterms for this semester, you couldn't help but start to psych yourself out by your own motivative words. You only had one more year, and yet this semester has already felt like it's been a year already. You finally got to the heart of what your major was all about, and while you enjoyed it at first, now it's been giving you nothing but stress. The things you were learning about for your major weren't exactly what you had imagined when you first wanted to go into this major. Still, you decided to keep with it, hoping that your passion that you had for it before would simply come back. But now, you were looking towards your midterm, and felt as if you didn't know anything. Were your grades going to survive this exam? Or even this semester? This was a prerequisite class after all, if you couldn't pass this class, you wouldn't be able to go onto the next class you actually wanted to do. You'd end up staying here for longer than the year if that was the case, or would have to take on more classes next semester to catch up… Was this what you even wanted to do with your life? That question really started to get to you, if you were this stressed out now, what would it be like when you started a job that would be doing exactly this? You finally pushed your notes and textbooks away from you, as you leaned back against your chair. You were lucky that you at least had a window in your office space. You always thought that San Fransokyo was gorgeous at night. The Sakura trees they planted right outside of the San Fransokyo Institute of Technology were finally starting to bloom, coating the campus in soft pink petals. Maybe a walk would help you to think, or at least the fresh air might help. Just as the thought came to you, your door was suddenly opened. You looked to see Tadashi Hamada, your long time friend. He also happened to be a long time crush of yours too, but as time went by, you two feel into a comfortable dynamic with each other that made you too worried to even ask him out on a date.

"Oh! I saw the light was still on, but I didn't know of you were here or not." Tadashi spoke up, explaining why he had suddenly opened the door.

"It's alright, I don't know if I want to be here right now anyway…" You let out a breath, standing up and grabbing your personal belongings.

"Hey, are you okay? Is there something I can do to help?" Tadashi asked, noticing how stressed out to looked.

You shrugged, not even sure what to say at first. He stayed just in the doorway, always being patient enough to wait until you were ready to speak your mind. He could tell that the thing on your mind this time must have been really important, you eyes seemed downcast, shoulders slumped, as if you were ready to give up on something.

"I was going to take a walk… Do you want to come with? I kinda feel like crying into a pizza…" You half-joked towards the end, you hadn't eaten much yet, too consumed with studying and time constraints.

"Uh oh, I've been there before… Yeah, of course I'll come with." Tadashi tried to sympathize with you, making you smile as he quickly went back to his own workspace to grab his things.

When the two of you make it outside, your gaze couldn't help but be brought up to the trees again, something about focusing on the way the branches swayed and moved with the wind helping ground you into the present moment. It was better than losing yourself in the "what if's" that seemed to be plaguing you. The fresh air did seem to help a bit, you assumed that at some point the air in your room became a bit stale, which only added to your fatigue. Beside you, Tadashi still waited patiently, as he at least recognized that you were at least taking the first steps to clearing your thoughts.

"There's this great pizza place called Oz Pizza just a block down from here, they give some pretty big slices, great for catching tears." Tadashi joked, making you let out a small chuckle.

"That sounds like a plan then." You spoke, as he lead the way to the pizza place.

It took a couple of deep breaths, and a minute in comfortable silence for you to finally feel comfortable enough to speak about what's been on your mind.

"I don't think I'm cut out for all of this, Tadashi…" You trailed off at first, convinced that there wasn't exactly an easy way to lead into the conversation.

"What do you mean?" Tadashi asked, not wanting to make assumptions and say the wrong thing.

"My major… School… Just, I don't know… I have a mid term in two days, and I keep looking at my textbook and notes and just can't help but think… this isn't what I wanna do." You started to vent at first, further explaining your mindset.

You told him about how things started off really good, but within this year you just suddenly can't help but feel as if you had a change of heart somewhere along the way. How that you feel so close to the finish line that you just want to get it done with, but also hate the idea of having to go for another year just to even do that. How you've spent so much time on this major and your classes already, that you don't want it to all be for nothing, but what's the point if it's not even what makes you happy? Tadashi simply took all of this in at first, letting you get it off of your chest before you both went inside the little pizza joint. He considered your words for a moment, and when you finally felt as if you were done saying all that you needed to say, he lead you inside to order. The two of you ordered, and went back outside, since the place was really only big enough for the ordering counter and the kitchen in the back, most of the seating was outside.

"Do you want my advice, to distract you and think about thing else, or do you want me to just listen?" Tadashi then asked you once you two were in a more private setting again.

"I think it would be nice to know what you think… see it from a different perspective maybe." You answered, as he simply nodded with a smile at first. He always did encourage others to see things in a different way.

"I think after this semester, you could take a break. You've been working hard for a long time now, and it can be a lot on your brain to process. If you don't want to take a semester off, you could always see what classes you've finished and if there's another major that brings you closer to graduation, or just something that just makes you happy again." Tadashi advised, trying to cover all of the "what if's" and "But's" that could be brought up.

"I can help you look up the different majors the school offers. You're at least almost done with all the general education classes, right?" Tadashi asked, trying not to stress you out more, but genuinely curious.

"Yeah, I'll actually finish my last class for it this semester… Then it's just more major requirements…" You answered, trying not to linger on the idea too much.

"Okay, when we back I could help you look into it, and study, if you want it. It might just be good to at least not feel alone while you're studying." Tadashi reached across to gently put his hand on yours in encouragement.

You tried not to think about the gesture too much, but you failed to hide the smile on your face when he did it, giving you away a bit. Soon enough, the man who took your order placed the slices of pizza in front of the two of you.

"Are you still planning on crying into a pizza?" Tadashi asked, changing the subject away from school, but his hand never left yours.

"Maybe. You're always welcome to join me, if you want." You joked in return, making him laugh a bit.

The two of you ate and decided to talk about things that didn't involve school for the moment. Instead the two of you decided to talk about any movies that were coming out soon, or plans over the weekend, or how Tadashi's family was doing. When the two of you finally finished up your respective pizza slices, you weren't feeling a 100% but at least you were a bit better than you were before. You had started to think about your major again when the two of you began your walk back to the school.

"Hey, (Y/N)?" Tadashi called out to you, snapping you out of your thoughts before they could get worse.

"Yeah, Tadashi?" You asked, taking a deep breath to try and calm you.

"If you do decide that school isn't for you anymore, that's okay. I just wanted you to know that I'll still be here for you no matter what you decide on." Tadashi reassured you with a warm smile, as you couldn't help but nod and feel yourself start to tear up a little bit.

He was always the type of encouragement you needed, that even if you decided to change your path, or not go to school at all, that he'd always still be there. The last thing you wanted was to somehow lose him in the process.

"Come on, we'll figure this all out. We're in this together." He further reassured you.

You were starting to feel a bit more confident that the two of you would figure it out together.

#big hero 6 #tadashi hamada x reader #tadashi hamada #big hero 6 imagines #big hero 6 x reader #raes writing space #Comfort Character Comfort Prompts

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asexualcorvidae · 1 month ago

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I finished Wanderstop yesterday. I really liked it. A solid game.

The way the story interwove with the mechanics was very overt, but also very good. There's obvious friction in the mechanics, which is intentional; when you do the same task over and over again, you notice the small inefficiencies, like how long something takes or that your garbage can is right in front of your fridge so it turns on when you open the fridge (true story). But that's all part of it! Was it the most innovative game I've ever played? No. Did I get tired of some of those inefficiencies by the end? Yeah. But that's pretty typical!

The story is the real standout here. A lot of posts I see say that Wanderstop is about burnout, which is like saying Celeste is about overcoming difficulty. It's not... wrong. But it's not telling the full picture.

[Full game spoilers ahead!]

Wanderstop is about hating yourself. It's about hating something you have done or someone you have been so much that you wish you were a different person. This is much more obvious by the end of the game, and I suspect most of those reviews saying the game is about burnout had not reached this point. Still, that is what this game is about. Alta doesn't burn out solely because she worked too hard. She is deeply lethargic because she carries around the burden of being a failure and a monster.

There's so much that Wanderstop gets right about this experience that it makes me glad. Way back in the day, I used to talk about how much I loved empathetic portrayals of downright unpleasant and especially violently mentally ill people. Alta is never redeemed for her violence. The game does not ask you to overlook what she did or move past it. But the narrative gives space for Alta to comprehend her own actions, that she (not some spirit possessing her) did try to kill someone who was just trying to help, and says, "You still carry in you the capacity for good. Whether you do good is up to you." Not to sound like a therapy enjoyer, but there's space for both of these things - just like there's space for the synthesis of both Altas.

On that note - I loved the concept of the forest creating "space" between the two fragments of Alta (and doing the same later with Monster), because that is exactly what it was like for me. I used to fight with myself all the time, and that's what those conversations with myself were like - like two different people, with two completely different mindsets and perspectives, existing just a few centimeters apart from one another. It also represents the way that people overcome (violent) impulses - by creating just a small space to pause and think. That space starts so incredibly small, but just a tiny wedge allows you to slowly wedge in more time until you can really take a good 30 seconds to think before you chunk your phone across the room. (True story.) (I'm very lucky that I never broke a phone doing that.) (This happened many times.)

I wonder what a story like this would have meant to me shortly after making peace with myself - or even moreso, before then. I don't know if I would have liked this game as much! I might have even liked it more, but also sobbed like a baby during it. It's definitely a very emotional story, even by the end, and I quite liked it. There's a lot you can unpack from that game. I definitely recommend it.

#wanderstop #wanderstop spoilers #opinion talk #brain problems

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c-u-c-koo-4-40k · 1 year ago

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You know I might as well post this now...

Severe Miscalculation

Tw: misunderstanding (kinda), pretty intense descriptors of kissing and coupling. NSFW we having a literal roll in the hay!

Tag: @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan @bleedingichorhearts @barn-anon @bispecsual @sleepyfan-blog @kit-williams

Based on the slight discourse about 40k space marines in fandom vs Canon and if they experience...the desire for physical intimacy. And what happens when you mistakenly think the Majority of space marines don't have any interest in the stuff.

Edit! I've decided to connect this story to this other drabble I did. So if you'd like more context to the overarching story, here's the prequel.

I know it looks like I'm linking to the same story but I promise it Is a different drabble.

It was evening but not dark yet, the combined boon of daylight savings and a fresh spring rain making things humid, but not unbearably hot.

You wandered your neighbor's property in the normal fashion. Normal in such that your neighbor was absent, on a trip to visit her mother in another state.

And had left you, with the task of appearing twice a day to check on things and complete the few simple chores she had lying around. For a fair compensation mind you.

The tasks weren't even that hard, but it was more work on your already tight and physically taxing schedule.

As much as you appreciated your neighbor, you couldn't deny you'd been feeling the burnout recently, and not just from the weather bandying cheerfully back and forth between drenching rains and muggy, sweaty heat.

Honestly you needed a reset. Something to just Erase all that stress you'd been feeling. But given how tight your schedule had to be to just make ends meet, you doubted you'd get the chance to say...seek out a partner to help with such things.

Perhaps you should've look into getting something more mechanical in nature to help you.

Maybe throw a wink at the next random Noise Marine you saw. Unbonded ones supposedly had a proclivity for the naughty side of things.

Which made them an odd exception as Space Marines as a whole were thought to not have much sex drive. Or even be sex repulsed.

No shame to them. You often bounced between moments of desiring absolute carnality and vulnerability, then a few days later feeling like being touched would make you break out in hives.

"The wonders of the human mind~" You sighed with mock humor. Oh well, once you were done here you could go shower, curl up in your bed and hope your currently thrumming sexual frustration could shut the fuck up for a bit.

You strode through the open barn door.

CRASH!

"The FUCK!?"

"The FUCk!? The FuCK!? tTthHeEee FfUuucK!?!? -K-k-k!?!?"

An electronic parody of your own shriek came back to you, as the large looming shape with dark blue armor nearly doubled over, clearly finding your terror hilarious.

"FUCKING Dammit Khopesh!"

"FfFuUcCkKINg Da-Da-Da-DamMit KOoOopeSHhhhhh."

Normally you tolerated your neighbor's Nightlord, even found his shenanigans funny on occasion.

After all rolling with the punches or ignoring him generally made him lose interest. But you were hot, sweaty, tired and Not in the way you desperately wanted to be right now.

Honestly, you'd had preferred if he'd left with your neighbor on her trip, but...apparently he wasn't...quite bonded to her?

It was an odd situation, with your neighbors treating him more like an adopted son. And he...seemed to appreciate them too. Like genuinely, maybe he had a partial bond with both? Meaning when your neighbor left he preferred to stay with her husband and home as it needed defending?

It was sweet, but your care of your neighbors creatures had come LONG Before he arrived. And you sometimes felt like he pushed your buttons as a show of his resentment at your longer status is your neighbor's lives.

And the fact they still payed You to do the chores over trusting him with them.

You could understand some pettiness taking seed from that.

Maybe You could be petty back...

It Was said that Astartes, and Nightlords especially, could become overwhelmed when humans approached them too eagerly.

Hmm...

You straightened your back, took a deep breath as the big blue bastard was still modulating your voice at you, and Clearly enjoying it too much.

"Khopesh~" You cooed, the change in your voice catching his attention.

You, sauntered up to the big fella, putting a sway in your hips and calling on your still present sexual frustration to aid you in making this convincing.

"You know...that voice trick of yours is pretty nifty..." You stated, now close enough to touch him.

While mostly inscrutable behind his helmet, you could tell his demeanor had changed. He was standing mostly straight, looking down at you as you came closer, nearly touching but not quite.

"I'll even admit, you got me good with that scare..." You admitted, opening your mouth Just enough so he could see your tongue run over your teeth. "But...If you Really wanted to hear me Scream~ We could explore...other ideas..."

You smoothly undid the top button on your shirt, to emphasize your point.

'Your move Nightlord.' You thought, smiling smugly with your hands on your hips.

Khopesh responded by Not moving an inch. In fact, dare you say you thought him...

'Dumbfounded,' Not entirely the idea you wanted, him flusteredly retreating would've been Peak comedy to you. But this was fun too.

"Ah well...you don't seem interested?" You shrugged, still proud of yourself for rebuffing his childish prank. "It IS a rather abrupt thing to ask for, I don't blame you for chickening out." You assured with a mock sympathy.

You turned on your heel. One benefit to wearing jeans year round (the leg protection trumping the overheating) was the definition they gave your legs and...your other assets.

And by the throne you were putting that enticing sway back in your hips as you made your exit. You couldn't resist throwing one more light jab. "But, if you're ever interested in making me scream for real, just gimme a call-Oof!"

Well that was a shock. Your sauntering exit was interrupted by an arm clad in ceremite. And the Nightlord it was attached to must have moved at ungodly speed in order to block your path.

Well this was unexpected. "Uhh...what."

You were cut off by Khopesh's lowered arm coming up to firmly (but surprisingly gently) grasp your chin. As his other hand raised to the underside of his helmet.

Click, hiss

With a quick motion he removed his headgear, and dropped it without ceremony. Another surprise the back of your mind cataloged while the forefront was taken up with watching the way his midnight dark hair fell around his gaunt but handsome face.

And those eyes, those Eyes. Like pools of ink, disturbing but alluring all at once.

You'd seen his face before, but up close like this you're reminded of when you'd let his features be used in your private fantasys.

Especially his hair, touching it, stroking it, tugging it, brushing and washing it with the soft kind of intimacy your heart craved.

"Hmmm..." Khopesh took a deep satisfying inhale, as he smiled that wicked sharp toothed grin that drove you crazy.

"I can smell your thoughts..."

What.

Well again you were thrown off because your very literal coded mind could not understand what he meant by-

"They smell...mouthwatering~" He growled, wrapping his free arm around your torso and lifting you so you were nestled up against him, and one of his armored legs brushed right against your core.

The shiver that ran through you at the contact was not missed by either of you.

Ooooh...

Oh shit.

"I accept, your offer human..." Khopesh chuckled. "Unless you wish to...chicken out? As you said."

Oh. Oh that bitch.

You know what! Screw it! You were an adult, you were clean, you were on birth control, and you'd been flustered and frustrated for Far Too Long.

And this interdimensional level Bastard thinks he's going to get the best of you?

Fuck that noise.

You squared your shoulders, rose up (as best you could), grabbed the sides of Khopesh's face and planted a kiss right on his scarred, sharp tooth mouth.

His slight confusion over your shift was quickly forgotten as the Nightlord let out an absolutely Sinful sound as he shifted his own hands to pull you closer.

Your initiative payed off as you ran your tongue over the contours of his fangs, then sucked his upper lip between your own teeth. Giving it a light nip, before soothing with your tongue, and another kiss.

Khopesh was surprised by your boldness, excited by it too! But he wouldn't be outdone!

He used his shear size to over power, so he could explore your mouth the same way. Pulling back only slightly so he could nibble and suck at your lips before diving back in.

You caved for air first, of course you did, the bastard had three lungs and you only had two.

You panted for breath as a very smug Khopesh smiled before trailing his kisses up to your earlobe, and again marking and sucking spots that made you feel weak.

You should still answer with words, you thought, one of the few thoughts that could make it through your aroused haze at the moment. "I hope, you're nh! You're satisfied! With my answer...ah!"

The Nightlord chuckled, before replying. "I understand you Perfectly, my sweet little lullaby..." He hummed, before returning to his task of marking up your neck.

"But I don't think I will be Satisfied, for a while yet..."

You swallowed your nerves...because hot damn you don't think you've wanted anything more in your life!

"Bring it!"

...

"K-khopesh!" You plead as the Nightlord ravaged you, as he had been for the past two hours.

In hindsight, losing to him in the kissing stamina was probably the first sign of things to come. But your dumb horny brain had gotten you into this, and now you were pinned here.

Literally and figuratively.

He cackled, holding you up as he drove himself deep inside your sopping walls again and again. "Oooh, but my sweet little lullaby! I thought you wanted me to 'Bring It' I'm only doing as! you! asked!"

"Mm! Ulp! S-shut up!" You groaned as every thrust rocked your whole body, and though you were sore already you were still desperate for more.

"Awww...and here I thought you Liked my voice. I could smell your arousal every time you heard me speak after all~" He cooed, not losing rhythm despite his focus on taunting you. He lowered his face to your ear. "And every time you saw my face~ Your blushing, the scent of your wetness, it drove me to near madness!"

Wait he'd wanted you that much?

Khopesh continued unimpeded. "Not being able to touch you! To ravish you! To claim you! I- Mmm!"

The warmth you felt knowing he desired you compelled you to pull him into another kiss, wrapping your hand around his head and caressing his hair.

It was still carnal, but more than that it was filled with a tender sweetness. One that seemed to sooth the Nightlord's frenzy for a moment.

His movements slowed, and eventually stopped.

"Khopesh," You cooed, continuing to kiss him between words, playing and stroking his hair gently. It was a bit wiry, your fantasy of treating him to a hair spa day coming to mind.

But that was for later. There was something else on your mind right now. "Turn me around," You requested softly. "I want to hold you."

This seemed to take the Nightlord by surprise, but he acquiesced. Lifting you easily, before a different idea came to mind.

"Actually, could you lay back, I want to try something."

He was clearly still confused, "Very well,"

But if he got another kiss like the one you just gave him he'd do just about anything.

As he settled his back on the straw floor of the hay stall, you in turn settled above his hips. He kept one hand on you as you did so, partially to help with balance, and partially as reassurance that he could snag you easily should you leave again.

But your focus was clearly completely on Him, and oh did that send a shiver of delight through him. Almost as pleasurable as when you took him in hand and aligned him properly once more.

The stretch, the warmth, the closeness and even the slight sting as your Nightlord and you were once again joined.

You trembled with your own delight as you slid inch by inch and felt the warmth burrow deeper into your soft wetness. And the comfort and Pride you swelled with upon meeting your hips with his own.

But onto the main event. You began rotating your hips, sliding back and forth, never allowing him to slip completely from you. And of course squeezing with your inner muscles in a rhythm with your movements.

Khopesh groaned as the pleasure of coupling returned. He'd been staving off his own end to pleasure you, but laid back like this, seeing you not just accept him but Eagerly take part in this act. He found himself growing close.

"Mm, hmm! I, quite enjoy, this...something." He struggled to find the words, and struggled as he wanted You to reach one more peak before he did.

You chuckled at that, a genuine thing that actually made Khopesh blush. "I'M! G-glad! I wouldn't m-mind doing this with you...again."

Again? A bit of Khopesh's wicked grin came back. He gripped to his lullaby's hips and began picking up that savage pace from before.

"K-khopesh! Ah!" You yelped feeling your next peak approaching fast as he hammered your throbbing core.

"I! Have No! INTENTION! Of letting you slip away! My sweet Lullaby~" He growled as he finally let his full desire reach its peak!

"You! Are! Mine!" He hissed bringing his arms around your form and pulling you into a nearly suffocating embrace as he felt the incredible buildup finally release.

"Khope-aAaaahhh-!" You trembled as that bursting firework of tension finally crescendo ed for you as well. Leaving you trembling and clenching as Khopesh let his milky warmth fill you.

"Mine!.. mine...mine...min..e," He panted, his pace slowly reducing as he rode out those Wonderful aftershocks inside you, letting you both share in the pleasure as it faded.

You remained like that for a bit. Sticky, hot, tired, sweaty, but Satisfied. Just bringing your breathing back to normal and feeling the burn in your muscles the arousal had kept at bay.

You glanced at the Nightlord, not nearly as winded as you, but he had worked up a sweat, and his beautiful dark hair was tangled with stray bits of hay.

It was a comedic sight.

Khopesh found himself stirred by another of your adorable giggles, though he was confused by its source.

His confused face just made him look Cuter. But you stifled your laughter so you could explain.

"You've ah...you've got some barn glitter up here." You reached up to his dark hair and gently removed some to show him.

Khopesh actually snorted and grumbled, pawing at the other pieces to remove them. Again you found yourself amused.

"Here, let me help you." You offered sweetly.

You used your smaller hands and delicate touch to remove what pieces you could, and as you did Khopesh stared at your cute face that was set in a positive, but focused expression.

Your seriousness at such a simple task was endearing.

He wanted to keep you So Badly.

"Done," You stated cheerfully. "Well as much as I can, I think your hair will need a wash to get the smallest stuff out." You recommended. "I'll probably need a wash myself."

You were probably correct, though part of him loathed the idea of letting you go.

"I guess...since we both need one...we could shower together at my place...you know, to save water?" You gave him a wink.

Now it was his turn for his more literal thoughts to misunderstand. Would showering together reduce the amount of water needed for them to wash that drastically-

"Op! Looks like I missed a bit of barn glitter."

"What? Where?"

"Mwah!" You kissed him on the very tip of his slightly crooked nose.

OOOOOOH!

Ooooh~

He smiled that wicked smile, and he saw your blush erupt once more as you realized he understood your intention.

He Loved your boldness.

He was Definitely keeping you.

Edit: Hey this has a sequel now! Found here!

#space marine husbandry sentience #space marine husbandry #warhammer 40k #c-u-c-koo anon #smut #night lords #oc: khopesh

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drabbletron · 21 days ago

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Long Update!

|| tl;dr: I hem and haw about my busy life and lack of posting content! ||

So, as I've been saying, life is getting super busy with me right now with work and lack of time at home for anything but decompressing. I will not be able to post like I was! I'm pretty sad about it, but I don't want to over do myself and end up struggling to write (I'm sort of doing it now). These things happen and I fall into cycles like this. It's just what I do.

To remedy the issue of burnout and overexertion I would like to be posting much slower, but with hopefully higher quality content. That means that, should I answer asks in my inbox, they may be smaller/shorter drabbles (which hopefully means I can post them on tumblr instead of Ao3), while saving the big stuff for the weekends. It's funny because "drabbles" are supposed to be only 100 words long. I use that term loosely to mean "short" fics. Think one-shots or mini-shots. It's where the username comes from (drabble + megatron).

Anyway, the point I'm making is that I can either do a bunch of little things and be social or I can focus on big things and be absent. I don't feel I am capable of both. I just have too much going on right now. At the same time, I love interacting with everyone here and I love the engagement. It's how I've been able to make friends! (lookin at a few of yall rn!)

I also have a lot of scraps of writing in my drafts that I'm getting a little sick of looking at, if I'm being honest here. I'm probs just going to empty all of those out and get it over with. Who knows, you guys might like them (as if I haven't been saying that for a week or two now lol)!

I'm unsure why I can't just part with my drafts though lol! I feel like a little hoarder sometimes because I keep deluding myself into thinking "this is going to be some super awesome mega-fic one day" and it's literally just two lines of dialogue of characters dirty talking lolololol!

Really there's so many things I would like to work on, like a dating sim! I have so much of it planned out, but learning ren'py is a slow process due to lack of time and dedication. I have an entire Trello board and a few plot points and even a character list with little outlines and some dates. I want to share it, but I know that once I do share all of it, it can kill my drive to work on it lol. It's a whole "move in silence" thing and whatnot, sorta how I feel about Golden Boy and The Pot and The Kettle.

It's super late as I write this, so I'm kinda tired, but I wanted to get this out there for anyone who wants to read this. It's sorta like a little diary entry for me lol!

If you stuck around this long to read it, thanks a bunches! I'm glad you're here and I'm glad you like what I do. If not, that's okay too! I love this blog and this fandom dearly, I just am very busy right now.

Enjoy!

- D. Tron! 🧡✨

#maccadam #mtmte #transformers #mtmte x reader #transformers x reader #tf mtmte #update

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prolix-yuy · 11 months ago

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Hello friends! It's been way way way way WAY too long since we chatted, and to be honest I've been taking an embarrassingly long time to write this update post because godDAMN life just gets you sometimes and you go on an impromptu hiatus that gets super messy. So let's get into what's been going on and what to look forward to!

Pedro Tax for this long-ass post.

(We're gonna get into some personal stuff, but if you're just here for what's coming up skip down to WHAT'S NEXT for the tl;dr version)

So beyond work getting hectic from January to March, which was the catalyst for everything getting wacky, I experienced a weird emotional turn that I wasn't expecting. It made me get a little introspective, which I blame some of my productivity slump on.

As I was finishing up the Bangathon entries, I noticed a sharp decline in interaction. I'm a fairly young fic writer on Tumblr, but I was a little baffled as to why stories I'd posted only a week before got a nice bit of interaction yet the newer ones were only getting half to a quarter of what I expected. For a minute I thought I had been shadowbanned (I was not) or I hadn't tagged the posts (I had) or my taglists weren't working (they were). People were already talking about interaction being lower, so I sat back and tried to go with the flow and not let it bother me. I posted Decoherence, which has a more niche audience, but I was definitely missing and wishing for some of the comments and reblogs I thought I might get.

All this led up to one of the least favorite voices in my head saying something that stuck around:

"Well, you were right not to become a writer if your motivation is this closely tied to feedback."

If you're new here or I haven't talked about it much recently, I initially was planning to be a writer. Went to school for it and everything. While I was there I felt like I hadn't found the stories I wanted to tell yet. My colleagues were developing in their niches and writing "the great American novel" and I didn't feel like I fit in. My stories had a lukewarm reception, and I never felt like anyone was excited about anything I was trying to say. So I wrote myself into burnout by the time I graduated with not much to show for it. I ended up doing a career switch, which I love to this day, but I stopped writing for almost 10 years.

Coming to Tumblr, I felt that spark of excitement writing again, and some of that was definitely due to people commenting and being excited or interested in the stories I was sharing. That truly revived something in me I thought was long gone, and reflecting back on the last two years that I've been sharing stories with this community makes me wildly emotional. I didn't know how much I missed of the life I left behind, and how much joy it brought me to share stories again.

Which is why it was SUPREMELY FRUSTRATING to have that shitty little voice pulverize my productivity and excitement over something as silly as interaction. But I'm sure most of you know how hard it is to get that voice out of your head. I worked to write things I found fun and less stressful than the series I already felt bad for not updating. And while I still love those stories, it felt like I was pulling them from an inauthentic place and finishing them wasn't as satisfying as I'd hoped.

Thus the hiatus! I stopped writing and turned my attentions to consuming and creating in other ways. I watched some shows I'd been meaning to catch up on, started planning to buy a house, worked my butt off at the day job. And I was starting to feel like inspiration was coming back. I didn't want to spook it so I took my time and promised myself I was going to start small and not stress about getting stories out for a bit.

Top that off with some medical surprises, an upcoming surgery, and a little re-evaluation of life moving forward and things have been wild. But I've been missing the daily joy I get from being part of this fandom, and I'm getting back into being here more because I miss you guys! AND! I have stories I want to share and fun to be had. So let's shake off all the heavy shit and get to the fun stuff!

WHAT'S NEXT!

The big thing I'm getting ready to post (after teasing it for so long) is the 2024 Bangathon! This one is different from last year's because instead of requesting stories from me, the Bangathon is open to anyone who wants to participate! There will be a randomizer to play with, and some fun bonuses for those who participate. The announcement will be coming out soon, stay tuned!

As for fics, here are some updates on what's in my WIPs:

Series:

I Think of You: I spent some time rewatching Mando for the newest installment, and I've finally gotten the thread of where to go next thought out. It's been a long time coming so this one's gonna be BEEFY to make up for it.

SW!Frankie: I am crushed to realize it's been over a year since I posted any SW!Frankie! I've got a new story about him and Ms J moving in together I need to finish, then some more asks that are getting into new story arcs I'm excited to share!

Best Laid Plans: Dieter and Murch's first date is bouncing around in my head and I NEED to get it on paper. There's much fun to be had, and I've been binge listening to my playlist for them to get into the headspace.

Midnight Alley: I got all up in my own head about continuing the story with these two and lost a little steam, so I'm going to ease off my "big plans" and start smaller with some oneshots instead. I think it'll help me find out where I want this story to go.

One Shots in Progress:

Decoherence Follow-Up

Incubus!Dieter Ask

You know, laying it out like that makes it feel much more manageable than my brain was telling me! I'm also planning to prioritize more fic reading while I'm getting these updates in ship-shape. Reading your stories always helps get my creative juices flowing, and there are so many good ones lingering in my TBR list that I need to devour.

This has been a rollercoaster of emotions, so thank you for coming on the ride with me. I'm excited to bring more of myself back to Tumblr and have fun with all of you again! To many more stories!

#prolix wips #I'm sorry I've been away for so long!#but I'm back!#if there are things I missed please tag me or send them!#I want to read all your stories!

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