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sergeantxrogers · 2 years ago

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| something that we’re not |

Summary: Just don’t fall in love. That was the only rule. It was literally the only rule, and it was already broken.

Pairing: fwb!Bucky Barnes x f!reader

Word count: 4.5k

Warnings: Angst, swearing, alcohol consumption (if you don’t drink just pretend it’s juice xx), kissing, yearning, fluff at the end

Note: heyy y’all... i know it’s been a while and i also know i have a shit ton of unfinished stuff and a couple requests but this idea popped into my head like two days ago and i was gonna explode if i didn’t write it since i’m basically going through the same thing (just without the fluffy ending yet) i’ve been very very busy with college and studying and life in general, i miss you all like crazy tho, i hope you enjoy this :)

_______________

“So, I guess our best option would be moving to Quantico?”

“Do we really wanna be associated with the FBI, though?”

“Well, I just thought-”

“We need to look at more options.”

Your eyes bounced back and forth across the board room, landing on Sam, then Torres, then Fury. You tried staying focused, you really did.

But it was proving difficult with Bucky’s eyes searing into the side of your face, making you acutely aware of every movement you made and every breath you took. You shifted in your chair, eyes flickering towards him, and you saw his jaw clench with his lips pulled back in a subtle smirk. He moved his gaze away from you, instead opting to watch Fury as he spoke about... whatever he was speaking about. Something about finding new headquarters, or working out of multiple areas. Sam would give you the run-down later.

Bucky’s eyes would be the death of you.

You spent the remaining half hour of the meeting avoiding them altogether, biting your tongue and trying to keep your foot still and your breathing even.

“Y/N,” Fury’s voice boomed, and you jolted slightly.

All eyes turned to you.

“Any thoughts? You seem quiet today,” Fury observed, head tilted slightly.

You shook your head. “No, I just- No. Nothing to add, sir. I’m okay.”

You gave him an awkward smile as he stared at you a bit longer. Eventually, he decided he had grilled you enough, and called the meeting to an end.

You let out a long, quiet sigh, and turned your chair to face the glass table in front of you, papers and files askew and messy. You cleared your throat as your eyes followed everyone through the door as they left, dragging your hands slowly as you collected your papers. Sam left first, dropping a heavy hand on your shoulder as he went by. Torres went next, giving you a boyish smile, and Fury left after him without a word.

Your fingers tingled as you slammed your binder shut, trying to keep your smile at bay. You refused to look up, because you knew if you did, you’d be met with those eyes that got you to do anything they wanted.

“Problem?”

You shook your head nonchalantly, keeping your eyes glued to the plastic cover of your binder. “Not on my side. You could’ve tried being a bit more subtle with the staring, though.”

You heard him chuckle, and finally, you lifted your gaze to rest on him. A mischievous smile rested on his lips, his tongue dragging across his bottom teeth as he stared at you, slowly making his way around the table.

You stared back, unwilling to let him know how fazed you truly were with his proximity, even though it felt like your skin was on fire, a heavy, slow beat thundering in your ears and through your veins, travelling it’s course throughout your body and finding home deep in your core. You shifted your hips slightly. Bucky noticed.

He stopped walking only when he was a foot away from you. You swore if he was half an inch closer you would’ve fell to your knees in front of him, his gravitational pull too strong to avoid.

He was the sun, bright, burning, and energetic, and you were the singular, lone planet orbiting him, never able to pull away far enough to forget him, but never close enough to really, truly, have him. You just went in circles around him, over and over again, day in, day out, and he watched you and laughed. At least, that was what it felt like sometimes.

Bucky studied your eyes, gaze dropping to your lips, before lifting to meet your eyes again. Your chest rose and fell unsteadily no matter how much you tried to keep it in check.

“Come over tonight?” he whispered, eyes drinking in the way your pupils dilated at the sound of his voice.

You felt a tinge of sadness, buried somewhere deep inside your heart; a place you had closed off and locked up for good a long time ago in order to keep from breaking altogether. You kicked it down, swatting it away like an annoying fly before Bucky began to notice your hesitation.

“Okay,” you said softly, nodding. The smile on his face was almost worth the pain that singular word stabbed you with.

__________

One Year Earlier

You set the extra beers on the table with a soft grunt. Sarah turned, almost poking you with the barbeque fork in her hand, and gave you a grateful smile.

“You’re a sweetheart, Y/N,” she cooed, and you brushed her off with a wave of your hand, despite the blush on your cheeks.

“No biggie, you know I’m always down to help.”

Sarah leaned over the table, abandoning the grill for a second to place a kiss on your forehead. “You can go now, have some fun.”

You smiled and turned to walk away before she grabbed your wrist.

“Take one, honey,” Sarah said, pointing to the beers in front of you. “You’re a guest, too, ya know.”

You hummed with a happy smile before pulling out a beer from the package, then pausing. Before your judgment got the better of you, you pulled out another one, cold against your fingers as the droplets of condensation rolled over them.

“See ya, Sar!” you called out over your shoulder, and she waved the fork over her head in goodbye.

You weaved through the sparse crowd of people, saying hi to a few and smiling at some others. Sam was nowhere to be found, but you figured he was the one responsible for the children screaming with laughter somewhere near the end of the dock, so you decided you would look for him later. The water splashed gently against the wooden dock, the sound of the waves bringing you a sense of peace as you squinted behind your sunglasses against the sunset and looked for Bucky.

Finally, you saw a figure, dark and shoulders wide against the orange expanse of the sky, sitting on the hard top above the helm of Sam and Sarah’s boat. His feet were hanging over the glass windows, and you knew Sam would throw a fit if he saw him dirtying the glass with his shoes.

You smiled to yourself before gathering the courage to clamber onto the boat, holding on to the two beers for dear life as you did so.

“That you, dolly?” he called down, and you rolled your eyes with a smile.

“Who else would it be, dumbass,” you replied, holding up the beers and letting him take them before you grabbed onto the small ladder and hauled yourself up.

He scooted to the side, making room for you as you sat down beside him with a huff.

Bucky had opened the beers with his hand as you were climbing up, so you took one from him with a soft ‘thanks’, pushing your glasses up onto your head.

The two of you sipped in silence for a couple of minutes, your eyes scanning the open water, sparkling in the red and pink hues of the setting sun. It wasn’t as hot here, near the water, as it was back on the dock with the people and the food and the laughter. Everything seemed quieter, behind you, in another world. The boat back and forth softly.

“What gave you this idea?” you asked, breaking the silence.

Bucky was silent for a moment, tapping a finger against the glass of his beer, before shrugging and turning to look at you, squinting an eye against the sun.

“It’s peaceful,” he said, and you nodded.

You held your own beer between your legs and leaned back to rest on the palms of your hands. “You feelin’ okay, Buck?”

He took in a deep breath as he looked out ahead, staring at the water before just nodding his head.

“Yeah,” he said after a moment. “Yeah, I’m good, actually. I just needed a moment to clear my head. Nothing bad, just... I’m grateful, is all.”

“Grateful for having such amazing best friends like Sam and me? Or grateful for being able to open beer without an opener? Or maybe grateful for Sarah’s world-famous barbeque chicken?” you teased, and he snorted a laugh, shaking his head.

He turned to look at you and shrugged. “All of it, I guess.”

He had said it so softly, and so truthfully, that your first reflex was to sit up straight, bringing yourself closer to him. You brought a leg up and folded it underneath the other one, left hanging beside his, so you were turned to face him completely. Your beer was left getting warmer in your lap, but you didn’t mind, because the way Bucky was staring at you right now made nothing else matter. It made you believe everything was gonna be okay eventually.

And you didn’t know what came over you. Maybe it was the soft waves rocking the boat, or maybe it was the cool summer breeze that danced across your arms. Maybe it was the call of a seagull somewhere in the distance and the soft murmur of the party back on the dock that made you close your eyes and lean into him. And he did the same, connecting your lips with a soft sigh that made you wonder if he had been waiting for this moment as long as you had.

Bucky tasted like beer and peppermint gum. His lips were soft, and warm, and a bit salty, as if he had come up out of the ocean himself, some form of Poseidon sent to seduce you and take you back underwater with him forever. And you would gladly let him if it meant he would keep kissing you like this.

You heard a soft rolling, and then a bang and a crash before realizing Bucky’s beer had rolled off the hard top and crashed onto floor of the boat. And he didn’t care, opting to now use his free hands to pull you onto his lap, wrapping his arms around your waist. This sent your own beer following his, the sound of glass breaking making you giggle against his lips.

“Sam’s gonna kill us,” you muttered, and he smiled into the kiss.

“I don’t care,” he whispered, hands travelling underneath your cotton shirt and leaving trails of fire wherever his fingers passed.

He pulled away, and you brought your hands up to tangle your fingers in his messy hair. He looked so beautiful, lips red and puffy, cheeks painted by a soft blush, eyes hooded and dark.

“I could get used to this,” he said, voice hoarse, and it sent chills down your spine.

You merely nodded. “Me too.”

Bucky brought a hand up to your neck and pulled you down into him for another kiss, and you melted into his touch.

“This is- this is good,” he mumbled against your mouth, and you just sighed and hummed in agreement.

“We should do this more,” he said, hands gripping your hips and moving you against him slightly. “We should do this a lot more.”

You bit your lip and stared into his eyes as you tried catching your breath. One of your hands found its way from his hair to his face, your finger tracing the worry lines between his brows softly, then dropping to travel across the bridge of his nose. “We should.”

Bucky nodded, and gave your hips another squeeze.

“Just don’t fall in love,” he said, a teasing tone lilting his voice, and the breath in your throat hitched.

“What?” you asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.

“Just don’t fall in love,” he repeated, nipping softly at your neck as he spoke.

You scoffed. “Not a problem, trust me.”

Bucky lifted his head from your neck to look up at you. He gave you a boyish smile, and you rolled your eyes at him in return.

You hoped he couldn’t sense the way your heart split open, flooding with sadness and heartbreak at the realization that he didn’t love you the way you loved him. You hoped he couldn’t read the desperation in your eyes and on your tongue as each kiss dimmed your soul a bit more.

You hoped he wouldn’t notice the fact that you were madly in love with him already, but decided to pretend not to be, because having him in any way was better than not having him at all.

__________

“I just don’t know how much longer I can keep going.”

Sarah hummed in contemplation, wiping down the glass in her hand and setting it in the overhead cabinet.

“Well, have you talked to him about it?”

You scoffed. “No fucking way. I’d rather suffer in silence than lose him completely.”

Sarah threw the rag in her hand over her shoulder and rested her hip on the counter. She crossed her arms and gave you one of those looks of hers where she just knew you were bullshitting her.

“Y/N,” she sighed as she stepped over to the dining table where you were sat with your chin in your hand. “I’m begging you to think this through. You know I only want what’s best for you.”

You give her an unamused side eye and shrug your shoulders. You kept your focus on the placemat in front of you, picking at the edge with your finger.

Sarah pulled out the chair next to you and took a seat, bringing a hand up to squeeze your forearm.

“It’s been a year of you hurting after him and him not giving a damn. Now, I love Bucky, just as much as I love Sam, but he can be so dumb sometimes. It’s like he misses social cues on purpose.”

Her exasperated tone pulled a smile to your lips and you quirked your brow in agreement. Sarah continued.

“I love seeing the two of you together, believe me, if anyone wants you to end up together officially, it’s me. But if you’re too afraid to talk to him about it because you’re worried you’ll lose him, then there’s only one thing you can do, honey.”

You gave her a look, and she gave you an apologetic smile in return. “This friends with benefits thing just isn’t cutting it anymore, I fear. You have to let him go.”

You took in a deep breath to try and keep the tears at bay, because no matter how much you avoided it, you knew Sarah was right. You had two options: risk talking to Bucky about it and potentially ruining whatever semblance of friendship you had left. Or, you could stop giving in to him and running whenever he called just to feel a sliver of something bigger.

You let out a frustrated groan and let your head hit the table. Neither option sounded appealing, but you supposed if you had to pick one, you’d rather it be the latter. Ignoring someone was always the easy way out.

Or so you thought.

Three weeks later, and you were about to implode. It was difficult to go no-contact when all Bucky did was contact you.

Dozens of his calls left to voicemail and ignored text messages, you thought he would’ve gotten the message by now. However, he only seemed to be getting worse.

You left Sarah’s every time Sam called to say he was dropping by with Bucky. You asked Fury to put you on assignments with Torres instead of Bucky. You were doing your very hardest to come up with excuses as to why you couldn’t come over every time Bucky managed to corner you in a hallway or text you to stop by.

You thought it would get easier over time, yet your heart only ached more and more each day you woke up and remembered: it wasn’t the same anymore. Those first two seconds after waking up, before that sinking feeling of realization hit, were something you treasured more than life itself.

You wondered if he noticed. If he asked himself what had happened, or if everything was okay. He hadn’t come to visit, though, so you supposed he was just ready to move on to the next one after all.

__________

Bucky tried focusing on whatever Sam was saying. He really, truly was. But it was proving difficult when his thoughts kept pulling him back to you. Or rather, the lack of you these days.

It didn’t help that everywhere he looked and everything he saw reminded him of you in some way. The fishing nets Sam made him help haul over the bow? He smiled to himself at the memory of your foot getting tangled in them, making you trip and fall with a swear. The gulls flying above them? Almost like that time one flew down and stole a huge bite of your burger, leaving you wide eyed in shock. And God forbid he looked up, at the hard top above the helm. The first time you ever kissed him, soft hands and soft touch, marked to this day by the beer stains on the floorboards of the ship.

“Buck?”

Sam’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts, and he cleared his throat, shaking his head. “Sorry, what did you say?”

“I asked if you wanted to go out fishing with me later since Sarah’s busy with the kids. The babysitter cancelled on her, and you know she can’t leave those boys alone in the house for longer than five minutes.”

Bucky smiled fondly and nodded. “Yeah, I’ll go.”

Sam threw a rag at him, wet and dripping with soapy water.

“How about you actually help clean something for once, Barnes?”

Bucky rolled his eyes but obliged, turning to his side to start wiping down the hull as far as he could reach. As he wiped, he cleared his throat.

“Have you, uh, seen Y/N lately?”

Sam paused his mopping, letting out a sigh and resting his elbow on the mop handle. “Yeah, man, she’s at Sarah’s, like, all the time. Why?”

Bucky’s heart sank at Sam’s words, and he tried getting rid of the uncomfortable feeling in his chest as he shifted on his feet nonchalantly.

“Oh.”

“Why?” Sam repeated.

Bucky shrugged, still avoiding Sam’s eyes. “I dunno. I get the feeling she’s been avoiding me these days.”

Sam stayed quiet, and that prompted Bucky to look up from his wiping and make eye contact with him. He gave him a knowing look, leaning against the mop.

“What?” Bucky asked defensively.

“Does she have any reason to be avoiding you?” Sam asked him, and Bucky paused.

“I don’t think so,” he replied after a moment.

Sam scoffed and shook his head disbelievingly. “Alright man. Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

Bucky threw his hands up and turned towards him. “What is it? Do you know something I don’t?”

“You’re really stupid sometimes. You know that, right?”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Yes, actually, you’ve told me multiple times.”

“Good,” Sam said with a satisfied smile and clapped a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “Just makin’ sure you didn’t forget.”

Suddenly, his smile dropped and he lowered his voice. “But seriously dude, just go and check on her. Don’t be a jackass.”

Bucky stood still, even after Sam turned to continue mopping the deck, staring at the back of his head. He nodded slowly, to himself, and squeezed the rag in his hand a little tighter.

__________

The knock on your door had you groaning in annoyance, prompting you to push yourself up off your bed where you had been rotting away over the weekend. You had told Sarah you weren’t feeling very well, and it wasn’t a lie. You had just omitted the fact that you were emotionally unwell.

A chill ran through your body as you made your way to the door, making you wrap your robe a little tighter around your body. You heaved out a heavy sigh as you unlocked the door.

“Sarah, I already told you I don’t need any-”

It wasn’t Sarah at the door. Sarah’s eyes weren’t that specific shade of blue that made you want to sink into them and never come back out. Only one person had eyes like that-

“Bucky?”

“Y/N.”

“What... what are you doing here?”

“What, I can’t visit my best friend?”

A tiny, needle-like tinge pierced your heart at his words, yet another reminder that you were just that to him: his friend.

You stuttered, tripping over your words as he sidestepped you, making his way into your place.

“How have you been?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Well, I haven’t seen you in a couple of weeks, so I was wondering if you were okay,” Bucky clarified, shrugging.

You stared at him, standing in the middle of your living room, black t-shirt and black jeans so out of place in the midst of all your pink and grey furniture and decorations. Yet somehow, he looked like he was exactly where he belonged.

You shook your head, trying to brush him off with a slight chuckle. “I’m fine, Buck, I don’t... I don’t know what you mean-”

“Yes you do,” he interrupted you, cutting straight to the chase. “Why won’t you answer my calls? Why haven’t you been returning my texts? Why do you leave Sarah’s the moment you find out I’m coming over? You’ve been ignoring me, Y/N, and I wanna know what I did to deserve that.”

You stood flabbergasted, opening and closing your mouth, at a loss for words.

“I just- I,” you stuttered, shaking your head. “I have no idea what you’re talk-”

“Y/N,” he pressed, and in two long strides he was right in front of you, towering over you with his supersoldier frame. His hands came up to hold your face, his eyes searching yours for an answer. “Please don’t make a fool of me.”

Your bottom lip immediately began to quiver, and Bucky’s eyes softened.

“Bucky I-”

“Shit,” he swore softly, leading you over to the couch where he sat you down, kneeling on his knees in front of you. “I didn’t mean to make you cry, dolly.”

You shook your head, even as the tears spilled over your lash line, because it was so stupid. The whole thing was just so stupid.

Bucky’s lips pressed against yours feverishly as he tried to kiss the tears away, covering your lips and cheeks in soft pecks. You tried pulling away, his actions only making the tears fall harder.

“Bucky, please,” you whispered hoarsely, and he pulled back to take a good look at you, his thumbs stroking your wet cheeks. He looked pained to see you in tears, which only made it harder for you to push him away.

“Y/N....”

You shook your head firmly, reaching your hands up to wrap around his wrists. “No.”

“What?”

“No,” you repeated. “I can’t do this anymore.”

Bucky looked slightly taken aback, and he dropped his hands from your face. “Do what?”

You shrugged and sniffled, gesturing between the two of you. “This... whatever this is.”

“What do you mean?”

Bucky looked genuinely confused, and it only made a sob tear through your chest.

“It hurts too much, Buck. I can’t stand to be the one you call only when you’re bored, or horny, or frustrated after a bad date. I shouldn’t have let it get this far in the first place but I’m just so fucking stupid because I kept thinking... maybe it’ll change... maybe he’ll realize. God, Bucky, I love you so much. I would do anything for you, including bring myself to fucking ruins if it means being able to hold you and touch you, even for just a little bit. You’re hurting me, Bucky. I can’t breathe when I’m around you.”

You took in a choppy breath after you finished your small rant, squeezing your eyes shut and letting fresh tears streak your cheeks. Bucky was quiet, and you were too afraid to look at him.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered to him with your eyes closed.

You felt his fingers brush the tears from your jaw. “Sorry for what?”

You swallowed heavily. “Sorry for falling in love with you.”

The silence surrounding you was deafening. It was threatening to suffocate you, pounding in your ears and clawing at your throat.

“Dolly,” Bucky whispered, and you whimpered.

“Look at me,” he said softly, and you refused, shaking your head like a little child. “Look at me, please.”

He grabbed your face and forced your head up. You opened your eyes to find his staring back.

“I love you, too,” he began, but you started to pull away.

“No, no, Bucky, you’re being mean-”

“Baby, please-”

“Bucky! You love me as your friend! You love me... you love me the way you loved Steve, or the way you love Sam. I’m in love with you, Buck, to the point where I would jump off a cliff if it meant helping you, or saving you, or even making you fucking smile.”

“Listen to me!” Bucky snapped, shaking your head in his hands slightly. You ran silent, punctuating his sentence with a teary hiccup as you studied his face.

He looked more distraught than you had ever seen him. His eyes were glinting with unshed tears of his own under the soft living room lights, and his brows were creased together in worry.

“What you don’t understand, Y/N, is that I am in love with you. And I always have been. And I... I think I always will be.”

You stared at him.

His fingers twitched against your face as you began shaking your head.

“But that... that doesn’t make any sense,” you retorted, and Bucky let out a sigh.

“I know,” he whispered, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them. “I only warned you not to fall in love because I... I wanted you to find someone better than me. Someone with less baggage. Someone who could give you the life you deserve. Not me. Never me. But I was just selfish.”

“Bucky...”

You let a teary laugh.

He looked up at you through his lashes.

“It’s always you. It’s always gonna be you. I just don’t understand why you didn’t tell me sooner,” you cooed, bringing a hand up to brush his hair back from his forehead.

“I was just... I was afraid you only wanted something physical, so I pretended it didn’t bother me. I just liked being near you any way I could.”

You stared at him for a moment before a genuine laugh bubbled out your throat.

“We’re both so fucking stupid,” you said with a teary smile, tracing the shape of his lips with your fingertips.

He smiled against your feather-light touch and let out a content sigh.

“I love you, truly. I’m sorry I ever made you feel otherwise,” he whispered into your palm, placing a kiss to it.

“Doesn’t matter anymore. We get a fresh start now.”

_______________

TAGLIST:

@maatsim @a-ngeli-que @agirlinherhead @s-katergorl @ace-27749 @leyannrae @tailsoflightning @acidwidow @angelofthorr @gallysonegoodlung @creatingjana @i-loveyoubutyourenotmine @rosedpetal @inlovewfictionalmen826 @multinci @peaches1958 @loaksmuntxa @seitmai @writing-for-marvel

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jwirecs · 1 year ago

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RECOMMENDED SEVENTEEN FICS OF JULY 2023💖

hello, hello! here are my recs for seventeen for july! hopefully these beautiful stories get more recognition as well as the writers 💝

** anything in parentheses and bolded are my thoughts that can be disregarded if needed **

🔞smut || 💔angst || 💕fluff || ✅completed || 🔄ongoing || 💯favorite

Admire Me (Like I Do For You) || @wheeboo💕✅

↳ in which seungcheol shows you his tattoos.

Dimple || @icyminghao💕✅

↳ you can’t sleep, so you try touching seungcheol’s dimple just for the fun of it (spoiler: he loves it)

Shave || @yikesmary💕✅💯

↳ with your boyfriend’s comeback approaching, mingyu asks you to help with shaving.

The Stars And You || @wheeboo💕✅

↳ in which you bring the stars to your boyfriend for his birthday. (to this author, i am so sorry, but 90% of the fics that i have read from you so far, most of them are on this list. keep doing what youre doing please. i love them)

Try Me || @cheolhub🔞✅

↳ you push your sweet boyfriend a little too far when you threaten to fuck his business partner at dinner. he decides to show both you and mingyu who you belong to. (oh lord, heaven have mercy.)

Ukiyo || @wheeboo💕💔✅

↳ in which you and minghao spend the day together.

Wonwoo's Tasty Cereal (And Milk) || @twogyuu💕✅

↳ You've been eating cereal wrong your entire life. Wonwoo and your niece are going to fix that.

Fake Dating Roommates || @yikesmary💕🔄💯💯

↳ in which choi seungcheol becomes your roommate and fake boyfriend in one fell swoop. and you still don't know how it happened.

Seventeen As Fake Dating Scenarios || @bluehoodiewoozi💕✅

↳ (title says it all and i am out here fulfilling my delulu side of my brain. doing great out here im telling you)

Baby, All I Really Want Is Your Attention || @viastro💕✅

↳ you and mingyu have been academic rivals since the beginning of your high school career. having always aimed for the #1 spot, mingyu would beat you without even needing to study. now dedicating all your time into studying at the local library, you find yourself wondering who keeps neatly packing your things and waking you up each time you fall asleep while studying. (hes so soft, i cant)

Catnaps || @wheeboo💕✅

↳ in which you volunteer at the local cat shelter with your crush.

Dating Seventeen (Hyung Line) || @wqnwoos💕✅

↳ (out here filling my delulu brain. also seungcheol does radiate sugar daddy tho, ngl)

Fix You || @smileysuh🔞💕💔✅💯💯

↳ “As a member of 53V3NT33N, I have two different states of mind coded into me, aggression and admiration. To love something, to admire it, is to feel aggressive when it’s questioned, to want to control it, if even for a little while- it’s the need to consume it, endlessly, as my fans consume and control me as an automaton. Even though I’m a member of a group, there’s a distance. Automatons can never truly motivate each other because our motivations are based on external human needs, it’s built into us- We can see when humans need us, and we do what we can to fix that need… I know you need me, the way I’ve needed you since I got here.” (god, yall dont even know how much i freaking love their fics. like bro, ily)

Gamers Do it Better || @sluttyminghao🔞✅💯

↳ (listen, just hear me out. tag teamed by the two lord saviors of svt's hhu. i really need like a threesome au/tag or something i swear.)

Hits Different || @hellohannie💕💔✅

↳ it was no secret that you had dated many people in your past. when you were with them, you believed you loved them and they loved you. when you broke up, you realized that they didn't truly love you. but you still believed that love was real. then, you met lee chan. when he broke up with you, you started to question if love truly did exist after all. (i need me some more dino fics cause i barely come across any)

Loving Him Was Red || @boowanie💕💔✅💯

↳ After the café you were part-timing at suddenly closes, you were left unemployed and broke as you tried your best to look for a new job. But when your best friend suggests an alternative way of earning money, you suddenly find yourself falling for a certain Jeon Wonwoo.

Pup Code || @beefboyandbabygirl🔞💕✅💯💯💯

↳ mingyu doesn't have crushes. he likes avril lavigne and sometimes he fucks pretty girls. but you seem to stir something in him that no one else can. without the trusty girl code, mingyu makes his own code to help you fall in love with him. (yall need to read this one. like read it cause i lowkey can imagine him making up his own code ngl. man has no self control sometimes)

Crossing Boundaries || @wonusite🔞💕✅

↳ Seungcheol has always demanded that all of his employees keep professional boundaries, but it frustrates him that his son’s nanny is a little too good at keeping things professional.

Happy (First) Fathers' Day || @icyminghao💕✅

↳ it’s fathers’ day, but you seem to be more fixated on an event for your newborn daughter, much to mingyu’s dismay.

Made With Love || @icyminghao💕✅

↳ joshua wakes up to quite the commotion, and you’re not by his side.

The Cake In the Back || @toruro🔞💕✅

↳ cheol is a regular at your bakery, and it's all because his son loves the banana bread you make—at least that's what he tells himself. it also doesn't hurt that you're cute. and polite. and totally someone he'd like to fuck.

Roommates With Benefits || @shuaflix🔞💕✅

↳ initially, wonwoo doesn’t think much about your incessant requests to play on his xbox. however, when what was supposed to be a two-hour visit to his place stretches out for two weeks, he starts to think you’re overstaying your welcome.

The Secrets Kept From Roommates || @cheolism🔞💕✅

↳ you are hiding a secret from mingyu. little do you know that he's hiding one from you too.

Broken Pieces || @bluehoodiewoozi💕💔✅💯💯💯

↳ Your friend broke your soulmate's heart, leaving you to pick up the pieces of both his and your own heart. (stop my heart, i cant)

Right? Right. || @bluehoodiewoozi💕💔✅

↳ Your soulmate mark might be broken, but at least he will always be there for you.

Do check out all of the other seventeen fics that i have reblogged as well!!

** if there is any fics that you guys would like to recommend, please do! i am slowly running out of fics to read **

#seventeen scenarios #seventeen soulmates au #seventeen established relationship au #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst #seventeen smut #seventeen roommates au #seventeen dad au #seventeen fake dating au #seventeen fic rcs #seventeen recs #svt fic recs #svt recs

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euijoosorangeslice · 1 year ago

Note

hiii <3 how are you? hehe

skdjsks help my midterms are starting tomorrow, i’m super nervous… so, could i please request &team members’ reaction to when their s/o is stressed out about exams (maybe, even to the point of crying and isolating) 🥹

just something cute, cuz i think i’ve been reading smut a little too much lately😭

- 🦋

Haiii 🦋i gotchu (i think i sorta need a break from smut too😖)

warnings: a lil angsty, mostly fluff, (nicho is a lil suggestive tho)!

&team Reactions When Their S/o's Are Stressed Out

Would get really concerned. He's been in the same position as you before, so he knows how it feels.

"Babe?" He'd turn the corner, seeing you curled underneath your desk. Investigating the scene, he would see your textbooks all over the desk, open with writing notes all over it. Then, his ears would would pick up on your soft sniffles. "Oh, baby. Come here." Kei would pick you up from under the table and place you onto your bed. He would rock you back and forth, even if you try to escape his grasp. Would kiss your face all over and whisper praises in your ears.

Fuma

Doesn't really get why your stressed because he didn't struggle in school but will try his best to comfort you.

He would be cooking in the kitchen and ask you to grab him a glass cup. Of course you'd drop it onto the ground, watching it shatter over the floor. "Fuma...I'm so sorry." He'd see the tears well in your eyes, a little confused because it was his cup, not yours. "It's okay babe. I'll clean it up." He'd watch you fall apart, sobbing and falling to your knees. He would catch you before you fall onto the glass, lifting you up and placing you onto the couch. Kissing you softly and reassuring you. "Shit, I forgot to turn of the stove!"

Nicholas

Tries his best but will convince you to go with his...own solution.

Upon walking into his room, he'd look at your sad face. "You okay?" he'd ask, immediately making you burst into tears. Panicking, he'd get up from his bed and make you sit down next to him. Kissing your tears away, holding your face and putting your foreheads together. "Hey, don't stress about that school shit, ok? You can always ask me for help." He would softly kiss your neck and your collar, playing with the edge of your shirt. "I can distract you for about an hour if you need it."

Euijoo

Would comfort you and end up doing some studying with you, very patient.

When he comes into your room he'd see you hunched over your desk and crying, he would pick you up. "Hey baby. Hm, sit on my lap." You'd let him place you on his lap, hugging you tightly. "I know this is hard, but we have to get this done. How about I help you?" You two would spend the rest off the night studying, and you'd fall asleep on his lap.

Is probably actually in the same boat as you so you two can vent to each other.

You'd flop onto his bed while he's taking notes, making him look over at you. "Oh, hey y/n. What's up?" Starting to cry out of nowhere, he'd be a little concerned. But he gets it. He's stressed out too. You two would just sit on the bed together and cry in each other's embrace.

Yuma

Is the type to not stress over these things, but will hug it out.

"Babe? Are you seriously crying over this dumb stuff?" He teased, seeing your angered expression. "Yes, Yuma! This 'dumb stuff' can make or break the rest of my life." You scolded, Yuma's smile fading into a more compassionate one. "It's gonna be okay, my love. Just come here." Hugging you so tight you can barely, breathe, you'll start to think you might just be okay.

Harua

will stress out with you, make it a little worse but eventually make it better.

You would be working over your desk, panicking and your eyes wetting. Harua's eyes would go wide. "It's exam week? Oh crap! B-but you shouldn't worry. I know it's stressful but just take a deep breath." Hugging you from behind, you two would sit there for a second. "I'll head to the store and buy us some snacks, okay?"

Taki

knows about it already, planned something for you in advance.

Taki would come in while your studying, in an excited mood. You'd turn around, seeing tears well in your eyes. "Hey darling! Come see what I did." He'd grab your hand, taking you into the living room. You were too busy doing your work to even notice that Taki had set up a fort and some fairy lights. "Dinner and a movie?" He'd suggest, hearing the doorbell ring.

Maki

tries his hardest to be compassionate.

He'd bake you cookies and brownies and anything he can learn. In and out of your room all day while baking you treats. By the end of the day, you'd have piles of sweets waiting for you. He would hang out with you, holding you while you guys stuffed down all your sweets.

#&team imagines #&team #&team x reader #&team nicholas #&team harua #&team fuma #&team taki #&team ej #&team k #&team yuma #&team maki #&team fluff #&team soft hours #&team angst

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matthyeu · 1 year ago

Text

tim hortons ― smt.

pairing ⇢ seok matthew x gn!reader

genre ⇢ comedy, fluff

warnings ⇢ this was just self-indulgence as you will see </3, mentions of a car crash but nothing happened lol

word count ⇢ 1377

synopsis ⇢ this is how matthew's life would be if he didn't get 3rd place on boy's planet. hey, at least he met you.

notes ⇢ HEYYY GUESS WHOS BACK,,, well not really i’m just like popping back in after the comeback bc like WOWWW but hi i’ve been really stressed back in school doing a lot of exams and applications for nursing school. i just finished my teas and like the semester’s almost over so i’m so STRESSED AAAAAA and this has been in my drafts for so long bc yk i’m just manifesting myself getting into nursing school but i will def try to get more uploaded soon but i’m always tired from work and school eueueu got some drafts tho so i’m hoping to get that done soon. take care!!

perhaps it wasn’t the best idea to get an early start to studying for your pharmacology exam. not, it definitely wasn’t the best idea. every professor had always told you to review and study more than you thought you needed, so you tried your best to do just that. it was just that one confused topic led to another…and then to another until you realized it was nearing two.

late nights were no stranger for a nursing student, but they were not recommended if you had plans for the morning after, especially if the morning after was your weekly 12-hour long clinical rotation.

that was how you ended up with two and a half hours of sleep, a frantically thrown together lunch, missing materials, and a need for caffeine after you overslept your alarm by twenty minutes. you cursed your ability to sleep through alarms but also thanked yourself for setting alarms every five minutes in case this ever happened.

the facility you were stationed at was a little over an hour from your apartment, so you would barely make it in time. there was realistically no time for you to stop by for coffee. usually, you would just make your own, but your unfortunate luck continued to prosper as you had forgotten to purchase more instant coffee in your last grocery run. however, seeing as how you nearly fell asleep behind the wheel the first ten minutes of your drive, you knew you needed it. if you died in a car crash, there was definitely no chance for you to make it to your clinical on time.

you pulled into the parking lot at the tim hortons nearest to your apartment, seeing only one other car there who you assumed belonged to whatever employee was on opening duty. it was only 4:43. this location opened at 5. if you waited for it to open, you would definitely be late. even if you had just told yourself it was alright to be late, you were sure your instructor would not be pleased if you were, especially since this was an obstacle you could potentially get over.

reluctantly, you shuffled your feet to the entrance, not worrying if you would wear the soles of your white shoes quicker than they were supposed to last. you didn’t want to bother the poor worker, but it was your only choice besides sitting in your car waiting for 17 minutes, which was definitely not practical.

reaching the entrance, you peered in to see a young man diligently preparing for the day. you figured he would be far too busy to notice you (or it was just your excuse to walk back to your car and wait). still, mustered up the courage to wave at him from outside, refraining from knocking on the glass.

by some dumb luck, he noticed you and came to the door from around the counter. he gave an apologetic smile as he opened the door, popping his head out. “sorry, we aren’t open yet.”

“actually, i was wondering if you could make an exception. i have to be at the hospital in an hour and it’s an hour drive from here,” you explained as you fidgeted with your watch.

“oh definitely i can do that for you. that hospital must need you as soon as you can get there,” he commented as he opened the door wider for you to come in.

“oh no, they do not need me. yesterday i put on my sterile gloves wrong 4 times because of nervousness. if anything, they hope i’m not there,” you casually blurted out, which caused the employee to give you a concerned look. “i’m a nursing student, not a licensed healthcare provider. everyone always thinks of nurse or doctor when they see someone in scrubs, but i’m just a stressed person in college trying to get through.”

“ah, makes sense. i thought you looked young to be finished with school already, but i didn’t want to say anything in case it was offensive,” he commented once you both were at the register, “what can i get for you?”

“just a medium iced latte please,” you ordered as you dug through your wallet for the right card.

“go ahead and insert your card whenever you’re ready.”

and you did just that, receiving the receipt from the employee once the transaction was over. “it will be out shortly.”

there wasn’t much for you to do but stand off to the side as you watched him work. as time went by, there was something familiar about him you couldn’t catch. it was as if you had seen him from somewhere, but the only places you really frequented were the library and hospitals. was it from tv?

“here you go,” he announced as he slid the cup over the counter.

as he was about to head back to finishing his preparations, you took a sip of your latte. with the newfound courage taken over you by the caffeine, your thoughts spilled out of your mouth. “do i know you from somewhere?”

he chucked. “no, i don’t think you have. if so, it was a long time ago since i just got back to canada.”

“you have a celebrity lookalike or something? i swear i’ve seen your face somewhere before,” you asked.

“ever heard of boys planet?”

then it hit you. you looked at his nametag. matthew. of course, he was the canadian from that korean reality show one of your friends had shown you. in fact, she begged for you to help her vote, and she was devastated when her one-pick didn’t make the group. and here he was, standing in front of you at tim hortons.

“ohhh that makes a lot of sense. my friend had me voting every day for you when the show was airing. interesting seeing you working here. totally thought you’d continue trying to be an idol if you didn’t make the lineup.”

“i missed home too much, i guess. i had it planned out during the finale too, the part time job i’d get if i didn’t make it. didn’t think i’d actually end up at timmies, but alas, things happen. thanks for your support though.”

“don’t thank me,” you insisted, “i’m just an unsuspecting victim to desperate fans who wanted the best for their faves.”

“i think that’s the best feeling though, meeting someone who doesn’t really care about what you’ve done or who you are. you’re the first person who’s actually recognized me, and i’m glad it’s not someone who would leak this information. though, i’m sure it will spread eventually.”

you finally noticed what he was doing throughout the conversation: packaging a 10-count box of timbits. “here,” he called as he pushed yet another item over the counter, “on the house.”

shaking your head, you quickly responded, “no i can’t.”

“trust me, you’re going to need the boost of energy from the sugar for your shift. just take it, or else you’ll be late.”

“oh shit,” you cursed, realizing you had spent too much time in the shop already, “fine, but i’ll be back and next time, i’m going to buy something for you to enjoy.”

“mhm good luck!”

you ran back to your car, relieved you decided to come in when you did when you saw a plethora of cars pulling in with two minutes until opening. the coffee was placed into the cupholder and the box onto your passenger seat.

before beginning your long drive to your impending doom, you decided to have one of the timbits matthew had given you. that was when you noticed the small message written on the top of the box.

good luck! you’re doing great things for the world :) come back anytime! i always open on fridays and will take you after 4:30.

you smiled at the little note, popping one of the pieces into your mouth. it tasted way better than timbit you had ever had. you weren’t sure if that was just because they were fresh in the morning or the care you knew was packed into them. needless to say, you would wake up a little earlier on your fridays to go back to this location to see matthew.

#🐨 ― matthyeu #zerobaseone #zb1 #zb1 x reader #zerobaseone x reader #zerobaseone imagines #zb1 scenarios #zb1 drabbles #seok matthew #zb1 matthew #seok matthew x reader #zb1 matthew x reader #seok matthew imagines #seok matthew one-shot #comedy #fluff

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woman-respecter · 9 months ago

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Yo im super curious now who is that ex bestfriend that u mention on the taggs sometimes? Give us some ☕️

LMAO u have no idea how long i’ve been waiting for someone to ask me this. warning this is long and tells like. the entire story of our friendship which is probably more than u asked for haha

i’ll give the TL;DR here and the full story uner the cut

TL;DR: we were best friends for about 3 years, she found out i had feelings for her, and, though she promised she would stay friends with me, ended up completely abandoning me, refusing to ever speak to me again.

ok so exbestfriend (i’ll call her R) and i became friends in my very first class of freshman year of college. we really hit it off and had like completely compatible ADHD wavelengths. i wouldn’t say we were inseprable that year bc i had other friends we spent more time with but her and I, along with another girl from our class (who was kinda insane. i’ll call her G) would spend a lot of time together. sophmore year R and i got closer and started spending a lot more time together. she was kinda my best friend at that point but also didn’t go to the play that i starred in and worked really hard on which was a minor thing but something i still remember. second semester sophomore year we got a lot closer and spent a lot more time together, often without G. middle of the semester i realized i was in love with R (i remember the exact date actually. feb 28 2020.) but youse know how 2020 was, we got sent home for covid.

during the pandemic i took a gap year and R did zoom college but she and i stayed very close in touch, facetiming and texting all the time. we even sent *handwritted letters* to eachother which i still have. in fact she was the *only* person from college who kept in touch with me then. she usually seemed too busy but tried to make time for me. during this time i fell more in love with her.

first semester my junior, R’s senior year was mostly a really good time for me (until the end which we will get to.) we were finally able to see eachother in person after over a year. G wasn’t there to third wheel because she was studying abroad. and R and i became inseparable, even deciding to take a class together (economics, which i loved and R hated). we also became part of a larger friend group which was great for me because i never had that, but still were closer with eachother than the rest of the group. we spent as much time together as possible and saw eachother almost every day. i will admit i was a little to clingy to her at times but she didn’t seem to mind. during this time she was very affectionate and caring towards me. she even did little things that made me think she may have returned my feelings like holding my hand. the other girls in our friend group seemed to believe that R may have liked me as well.

and here’s the part you’ve all been waiting for IF YOU ARE HERE FOR THE BREAKUP START READING HERE: for hanukkah i knitted her a pair of mittens, which i gave her along with a letter borderline confessing my feelings to her. after reading the letter she called me, told me she didn’t return my feelings and that in fact she now felt uncomfortable with me hugging her or telling her i loved her (as a friend) but said she would still would remain friends with me no matter what. the next day we had a convo over text where she said some pretty hurtful things which caused me to kind of act out the next time i saw her at a get together with the rest of our friends. the last time i saw her in person that semester (or, spoiler alert, ever) was when i had to beg her to drive me to the airport to go home for the semester because i could not get an uber but she only did so begrudingly (even tho before my confession of love she had planned to take me to the airport that day)

during winter break i tried reaching out to her to talk things out but she said we didn’t need to. i tried to text her about the game we both played (genshin impact haha) but she would never respond. when we got back to school i kept trying to get her to hang out with our friend group but she always said she had something going on or straight up not responding. she didn’t text me on my birthday either. eventually at the end of february, i think my other friend (who is currently my only remaining friend from that group fun fact) contacted her and told R how bad i was doing because of her absence (oh yeah i forgot to mention, i became suicidally depressed from R’s absence) so R called me and while we argued about a bunch of stuff and she was somewhat homophobic towards me (she said she was more comfortable being friends with G because G was straight) she eventually told me that yes we could be friends again she just needed more time. which i guess i was ok with but it did not stop me from being suicidally depressed.

a month later i reach out to R like hey i really miss being friends could you let me know when you want to be friends again. a WEEK after me sending that text she responds and tells me she doesn’t want to be friends ever again and says some more hurtful shit. that’s the last i’ve heard from her. i almost offed myself at this.

rest of that semester goes badly, my depression gets worse and worse to the point that i lose the rest of my friends except for one (who happens to share a name with R, a sick coincidence) because they can’t deal with it. also R blocks me on instagram and genshin impact.

my depression is a bit better now, it was super treatment resistant so i changed meds a few times. but i’m still not fully recovered from this and i never will be. all i want in life is to have her back. there is an R shaped hole in me that will never and can never be filled. i’m not sure if i’m capable of ever loving again.

so yeahhh thats it. if u read this whole thing ur insane but i love u 💖

#do i seem like a bpd insanegirl here? lol #sorry for dumping this on u but u asked #exbestfriendposting

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starrylayle · 9 months ago

Text

Marauders headcanons — Remus Lupin

Ok so, I’ve been seeing a lot of controversy surrounding the fanonization of the marauders era characters,, and while they’re in no way problematic per se, I’m more interested in headcanons that expand on canon characterization, so here’s a few of my personal headcanons:

5'10 -- quite thin, terrible posture

I imagine that Remus was quite strong despite his thin stature, possibly due to his werewolfness. We know from the books that Remus was able to contain sirius when he was in fits of anger, despite previous description of him as thin and frail.

Remus hates his strength, he is terrified of what he may or may not be able to do. He always tries to compensate for this, trying to be mellow, patient and doing his very best not to succumb to his anger. He thinks the anger comes from ‘the wolf’ and not him, so he does all he can to suppress it.

He is a very angry man tho — he just tries to suppress it, coming off as patient and mellow.

I also picture Remus from a poor background — I think that is mostly canon anyhow — he always tries to compensate for this by speaking speaking as posh as he can, dressing presentable, etc, etc. He doesn’t quite succeed in this tho and ends up coming off as a little awkward and stilted.

Ok now a little bit of projecting with something that’s definitely not canon but I think really fits into his character — he has OCD. Most of his intrusive thoughts contain him hurting his loved one as a werewolf, because he’s a werewolf, etc, etc. idk if this is common knowledge or not but a lot of ppl who have ocd (like me), when they’re met with these violent intrusive though perform obsessive rituals as a way to ‘counter act’ these thoughts from becoming real. So I imagine Remus is always mumbling to himself and doing repetitive tasks/gestures that no one really takes notice of except Sirius, who just assumes he’s being his quirky self.

Remus grew up pretty isolated, and when he did interact with ppl it was mostly with older adults so he doesn’t really know how to communicate with kids his age until he gets to hogwarts

I hc that his dad left shortly after Remus was bit (Lyall couldn’t stand the guilt and the hurt of having a werewolf as a son), so Remus grew up with a muggle mother who had no idea how to handle his wizard/werewolfness so he was being constantly hospitalised as a kid. His mother was also a little afraid of him and even tho Remus knew she loved him very much, he knew she didn’t quite know what to do with him. Also I imagine that his mum mental health slowly deteriorated after his father left so she was bed ridden quite a lot.

He loved reading and listening to music (could be a bit of a snob when it came to those two interests) as that’s how he used fill his void as a child. I really like the dyslexia hc that atyd had tho so maybe if he didn’t learn to read till hogwarts, he would spend most of his childhood in small isolated corners dreaming up worlds — and when he finally learnt to read that was his substitute.

Remus Lupin was not naturally smart,, but he never thought he’d be able to get into hogwarts and so he feels like he kinda owes it to himself to get good grades. Thus he studies so hard, way harder than sirius or James ever would have to, yet he doesn’t ever get quite as good as them. He is a little bit jealous but he would never hold that against them because he’s so grateful that he was even granted such an opportunity.

He feels like he doesn’t deserve friends as good as the marauders and has a huge inferiority complex. He keeps to himself and always tries to keep his issues away from his friends so as not to burden them.

He can be sarcastic tho, and has dry wit. He doesn’t think he’s very funny and always gets surprised when ppl laugh at his joke. He can also have a bit of dark humour at times.

He blindly trusts and idolises dumbledore. He thinks he owes his life to him, and would do whatever he could to please dumbledore.

During The Prank, he didn’t actually think he would kill Snape, probably just bite him, but for him a fate as a werewolf is much worse than death so he hates sirius for allowing that to happen. (In canon — it is stated that werewolves don’t often kill ppl — they usually just injure them or bite them into becoming one). Tho of course he forgives sirius eventually despite his better judgement, because he could never hold a grudge, especially against one of his closest friends (or lover…).

Appearance-wise, I hc Remus to be biracial. His mum is a Black woman from London and his dad is a Jewish Welsh man. he has light brown skin and eyes, a wide crooked nose broken from his nights in the full moon, and 3a-3b dark brown curls. I also imagine Lily to be from a Jewish background so I like to think that she would introduce Remus to Jewish traditions he felt that he’s been left out from — oh and speaking of which, Remus and Lily have a very special friendship!!

Also on appearance — i imagine that he’s super average looking. Like literally just some guy — sirius however thinks he’s so hot and that the sun shines out of his ass (no one gets it))

Remus with chronic pain + mobility aids. I think that lycanthropy being used as a metaphor for disability and such is quite common, and reasonably so.

Oh yeah, and this probably goes without saying,, he’s like, super gay. And in love with sirius. His marriage to tonks was one of convenience lol. (Again, just my headcanon!!)

Oop this was super long and ramble-y. Let me know if u enjoyed it and if u have any similar hcs! Prolly gonna do sirius next because that man is super mischaracterised in fanon holy shit.

#marauders #marauders era #marauders hcs #remus lupin #wolfstar #remus being remus #remus x sirius #canon remus lupin #remus lupin headcanon #remus lupin hcs #wet noodle remus lupin agenda

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shikai-the-storyteller · 1 year ago

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UEUEUEUEUEUEU ILL SEND YOU THIS WHILE WAITING TO SEE BOBBYS STATUS.

Dw idm u answering publicly, I want everyone to be cursed w the thought that Rubius is a babygirl and a very bad one at that <3

Honestly I've only read a few explanations of their lore and bits about their relationship but they seem sooooo,,, /pos. Like they have such a fun and silly dynamic that has this air of toxicity and their loves feels quite self destructive bc rubius is kind of a destructive force of nature of a person who has a tendency to hurt those around him, perhaps as a defense mechanism or perhaps out of simply not understanding there are consequences to the things he does while vegetta is someone far too forgiving, he continues to love rubius despite how much he hurts himself, others, and vegetta himself. I'm not saying cubito rubius is an awful person but from what I've seen he is,,, complex. Difficult despite seeming silly. I could be just completely wrong tho LOL I am doin my best I prommy

ANYWAYS IM CHEERING U ON IN WRITING!!! I'd love to talk to u abt them more and learn more abt rubegetta bc like. Look. Theres no way q!vegetta isnt hung up on that demon idc,,,

I'm likewise waiting for the Eggstatistics (which will probably get posted while I'm in the middle of writing this) (EDIT: IT DID) and you gave me the opportunity to infodump so prepare for an essay LMAO

There are SO many layers to Rubius and Vegetta’s relationship (both romantic and friendship-wise), and that complexity makes them fascinating characters to study. I’ve been discussing this a lot in private lately, but I feel like there’s quite a bit of misinformation / misinterpretations of Rubius and Vegetta’s relationship amongst some of the newer fans who might not know some key components of their personality and their relationship dynamic as a whole (which is understandable since the majority of their lore came from Karmaland, and a lot of newer fans only speak English / only watch QSMP), so ALLOW ME TO ELABORATE:

I think of the two, Rubius definitely gets mischaracterized the most (which, again, maybe isn't too surprising since not everyone watched Karmaland and he hasn't been on the QSMP server too much lately). I could go off on a tangent here and list my frustrations about the people who harassed him for his role / his actions during the Egg event / whining about ships to the point where he decided not to log into the server again ‘til the Egg event is over, but that's ultimately irrelevant to this discussion.

“Their love feels quite self-destructive” is a really good way to sum things up, because Rubius is a pretty self-destructive man. Rubius is, fundamentally, a man who is full of love for the people he cares about, but those feelings are in direct conflict with his reluctance to let people get close to him (and his commitment issues). He can freely give hugs and kisses (and more) to Vegetta, but when it comes to expressing his true thoughts and feelings, he’s pretty emotionally constipated. We’ve already seen this a few times on the QSMP server – when Rubius visits on Vegetta’s birthday, he sings him the most beautiful heartfelt love song ever, but as soon as it’s over and Vegetta tries to talk to him, Rubius runs away. Even in Karmaland V, when hooked up to a lie detector and asked about his feelings for Vegetta, Rubius tried to wiggle his way out of answering. Only when the world was literally ending and they all thought they were gonna die did Rubius finally admit his feelings, shouting his confession and his love for Vegetta at the top of his lungs.

(The real tragedy here is that it was so chaotic with everyone shouting, Vegetta never heard his words…)

Although it’s easy to slap the label “toxic” on Rubius, I think that’s unfair to him and his character, as well as his intentions. He truly does love Vegetta with all his heart, in every universe, and he doesn’t want to hurt him, but Rubius doesn’t want to get hurt either. The Meteor shower conversation gives us a clear understanding of that:

Rubius: I don't want to get hurt. I don't want to get my hopes up, and then get hurt. It's happened to me many times before. Especially here in Karmaland. Vegetta: Have you had lovesickness? Rubius: Yes. In Karmaland, everywhere, in real life... I'm already used to getting beaten. Vegetta: That's a pity... Rubius: I just want someone to take care of me, and that's it. I don't ask for much. Vegetta: I'm very protective.

The way I see it, Rubius is afraid of his feelings for Vegetta, because the larger his love grows, the larger that potential for hurt and disappointment gets. Does this excuse all his actions? No, of course not, however there’s a big difference between doing something out of self-preservation (possibly as a trauma-response, depending on how you interpret his character) and doing something with the intent to hurt someone.

IMO, Rubius isn’t a toxic guy, he just needs therapy.

Vegetta doesn’t get mischaracterized quite as often, though I do feel like people have a tendency to put him on a pedestal and minimize the flaws he has. I’m a massive Vegetta fan, but this guy’s far from perfect. He’s self-centered, borderline narcissistic sometimes, and he’s a very prideful man. He’s never left Rubius at the altar, but he’s still had his fair share of “oopsies” and "yikes" in their relationship. One (which I’m surprised people don’t talk about more) is an incident from Karmaland IV where Vegetta, very unhinged and mentally unstable at the time, kidnapped Rubius’ wife Nieves and threatened her with a sword, saying, “If Rubius can’t be mine, he can’t be anyone’s.”

For the longest time I genuinely thought that line came from a fanfic or something, then I stumbled upon the clip one day and I was just like:

Anyways

In Karmaland V, Rubius became very close with a little alien child named Titi. He took care of Titi like he was his own son, and despite his attempts at emotionally distancing himself early on so he wouldn’t get attached, Rubius wound up caring a lot for him.

Then Titi died.

It was basically Rubius’ worst nightmare come to life – he’d let himself get close to Titi, he’d loved him unconditionally and let Titi into his heart, and Titi’s death utterly destroyed him. Everyone in Karmaland was affected by the death, but Rubius took it especially hard because of how close they were. Rubius was hurting badly and resorting to terrible coping strategies to deal with the pain, and Vegetta…

Well. Vegetta wasn’t very nice about it.

There are a lot of ways we could interpret Vegetta’s actions and words during this time – maybe he’s not super sensitive when talking about death since he’s probably some kind of demigod, maybe he speedran the grieving process, maybe he thought brutal honesty and direct action would help Rubius “snap out of it” sooner. However you see it, ultimately it did a lot more harm than good for Rubius’ overall mental health.

I bring these examples up not to paint their relationship as toxic or negative, but rather to express just how complex it is. Because, despite all their mistakes and drama and heartbreak, at the end of the day, Rubius and Vegetta still love each other more than anything else. Even towards the end of Karmaland V when they were quite literally on opposite sides of the battlefield (one supporting Quackity, the other supporting Luzu), their true loyalties lay with one another. When Rubius was hit by an enemy, Vegetta defended him with his life, and when Vegetta was hurt, Rubius did the same.

Yes, Rubius doesn't really know how to handle healthy relationships, and yes, Vegetta tends to forgive him too easily, but that doesn't erase the love they have. The key we need to remember here is that Rubegetta is a telenovela that sits squarely in the romcom category. They may wander into other genres and tropes from time to time, but they will always gravitate back to one another. Whether you define that as fate or soulmates or just sheer dumb luck, the facts remain and the love is there.

PHEW anyways that felt good to get out, I have so many thoughts on Rubegetta so I appreciate the excuse to rant. I'm always happy to chat about these two! :D And you're so right - Vegetta is so smitten for that demon, I hope he gets to meet the angel too. I hope Rubius comes back soon so Vegetta can see his Osito Fiu Fiu, but in the meantime, we'll have to keep wishing and praying just like Vegetta...

(ALSO THANK YOU the current chapter of that dang Rubegetta fic is kicking my butt rn because it's the only chapter I didn't outline and life events keep interrupting me when I try and work on it, but it IS getting chipped away at bit by bit! I hope folks enjoy the outcome when it's released :D)

#Karmaland #QSMP #Rubius #Vegetta777 #Rubegetta #Vegetta #i talk #qsmp talk #ethogirlie #replies #QSMP Analysis

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twstnettle · 17 days ago

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HOHOHO TIS I! YOUR SECRET SANTA 🎅

Cometh here and tell me all about your OCs Lenny and Sabine!

This Santa would also appreciate it if Santa was told about these... A-yous? A-yoo? AUs??? you speak of.

Feel free to go off on a very detailed tanget about any of them as your Santa here needs to fufill the Santa duty of giving presents out to good people! And you, Nettles, have been a wonderful person this year!

Ooooh!!! What a fun message. Thank you Secret Santa :,) you are very silly and sweet. I’ve been granted permission to go on a detailed tangent about my babies? [exciting jingling] let the clownery begin

Cater and Lenny - Friends -> best friends -> roommates -> lovers

♦️ Cater wishes for a best friend at starsending and Lenny shows up the next year/she wished for the same thing on a shooting star at home. When they meet, they hit it off right away

♦️She won Beans Day by using the shrinking potion to get to the size of a bean and then Cater launched her from the bean gun straight at the harp. After that, they’ve been best friends and he started calling her Lentil as a joke, then eventually just Lenny and the nickname stuck. (I LOVE beans day, probably one of my favorite events)

♦️ Cater's arc is learning vulnerability and being honest about himself and what he wants/doing things because they make him genuinely happy, not because of a persona he's trying to create.

♦️Lenny is someone who makes herself at home everywhere she goes, comfortably eating snacks on a bus or buying a plant for an apartment she'll only live in for a few months. And that's something Cater admires, since he's always had one foot out the door.

♦️When they are together he leans into her way of doing things: getting comfortable, being in the present, and enjoying life regardless of how it will look to an outside observer. She is just looking to be understood, and finds comfort in Cater who embraces her for who she is, even tho he has a hard time doing that for himself

♦️After NRC, they get an apartment together, where Cater realizes it’s not so bad to open up to someone and want them to be there for the rest of your life. And eventually he’s ready to admit how he really feels about his best friend.

NUTCRACKER AU:

I absolutely love the nutcracker and Cater’s new playful land outfit is SO nutcracker coded. There’s not a lot of substance to this one, just the joy of the ballet aesthetics + cater’s cute little outfit and the two of them dancing together

(Gorgeous stunning jaw dropping Comm by Blueastrum on the right)

(Another Gorgeous stunning jaw dropping Comm by Blueastrum on the right)

Leona and Sabine - Bickering labmates -> study partners -> dating -> she returns to homeworld to not be a burden (and becomes a lawyer 🔥) -> Leona has to team up with malleus to visit her and tell her she's worth it and if she wants to come back, she has a home with him (in the "if she says no I'll be happy just to see her one last time" way) -> she returns to twst

---

🔸Sabine and Leona are lab partners and they do NOT get along at first, she’s always demanding more from him. She is everywhere he looks, the botanic garden as a volunteer, Spelldrive practice where she brings Grim every morning, and all over the halls. Even though he complains, Leona finds himself looking forward to seeing her more and more and starts showing up to class just to see her.

🔸Was a pre-law student in college getting ready to take the LSAT when she got isekai’d. She’s an activist and willing to break rules if she believes it’s for the greater good

🔸Besties with Malleus who tries his best to get Sabine and Leona together, but Leona is always ready to fight Malleus so Sabine has to be their mediator

🔸Sabine's arc is that she's hyper-independent and doesn't want to be a burden but Leona encourages her to lean on others, including himself.

🔸Sabine realizes she has POTS which causes her fainting spells and days where she doesn't feel great. Leona uses his lazy reputation to get her to rest more, under the guise of skipping class for his benefit

🔸Leona wants power partly because he likes to be a leader and partly because he believes it is intrinsically tied to his worth as a person Vs. Sabine is someone who wants power to help other people and wants to make the world better. She makes Leona realize his self worth outside of being a prince/lion/etc. and also makes him believe he *can* change his world for the better and he has a lot of respect for her

🔸Leona would traverse universes for Sabine and he'll make it everyone else's problem. (He'll make Ruggie carry his extra jacket around all day if he think Sabine might get cold and need it later, etc.)

PIRATE AU:

🔸Leona in his pirate fit, Sabine in the Elizabeth Swann red dress. Pirate captain Leona can’t stop bickering with Ms. Sabine Yuusef, the only one on his ship smart enough to match his wit and brave enough to call him out. Eventually, he leans on her for help outwitting the giant sea witch Azul and they start hitting it off. When Sabine gets lured away by two sirens (Floyd and Jade), Leona will go to the ends of the earth to get her back.

🔸He IS ultimately successful and the two go on to co-captain his feared pirate ship, sailing and being in love and all that

FALLEN ANGEL AU:

🔸 The second son of the kingdom of heaven, sent back to earth for re-education. He is assigned a human to guard, but he really plans to use the human as cover while he carries out his true plan to overthrow the kingdom and usurp his brother for the throne.

🔸 He’s been assigned the aspiring lawyer and activist Ms. Sabine, someone too good for this world—in Leona’s opinion. He finagles his way into her life, sleeping in her apartment and eating her food, under the guise of guarding her and she falls for his ruse—especially on account of her fainting spells. He makes the mistake of falling for his assigned human, when he finds out that she’d be denied entry to he kingdom of heaven for crimes she committed, even if they were ultimately for the greater good of humanity. And Leona decides he’d rather tear down the walls of heaven to get her in than live in that world without her, so he risks everything for her.

🔸 Every time he breaks a rule of heaven, he accumulates more blot, so he starts with lightly blackened wings and eventually his wings are pitch black and heavy and unusable. And he succeeds in getting her through the golden gates—at the cost of his own return—letting her live a life of paradise that he won’t be able to return to.

As a request, I LOVE when Cater and Leona have alternative hairstyles: ponytail, hair down, that sort of thing. Also I just love Cater/Lenny and Sabine/Leona so for the secret santa, any part of either of their stories would probably make me combust /pos

Thanks for reaching out! Ily!

There’s a lot of examples in the tags for both of my babies <3 And if I missed something or you could use more info (or, to my shock, want to hear more!?) this askbox is always open!

#oc Lenny #oc sabine #<-these tags for all the GORGEOUS art other people have done of the #cater x oc #leona x oc #the inner net #twst oc

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pealeii · 2 months ago

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Hiya!! Love your new blog theme btw. Please tell me about your OCs!! I wish to know about them because you love them sm <3

HIHIHIHI I’M SO SOrry that this took so long to answer i kept THINKING about it but never got the chance to answer it so HERE WE ARE!!!

obviously i got a bunch of ocs but the ones I’m currently fixated on (like MAJORLY fixated) rn are some vampire ocs 🧛💥💥💥💥💥 (some vampires some not lololol)

okay i kinda went crazy so this got long 😭😭 so all the lore + art under the cut

okay so i’m not gonna go TOO in-depth but basically vampires who are turned (were human before but were bitten) are basically roadkill. when ur turned ur not immortal so over 70% of turned vampires die in the first few days (in-universe statistic)

but uhh there are also vampire hunters who don’t really take that into account and just think of them as potential murderers. and here’s one! our protag, angel ensworth!

his family + best friend (who was also his codependent homoerotic situationship kinda but that’s another topic) were killed by a vampire, and he was basically taken in by this vampire hunting corporation. angel lived comfortably in suburbia so he really never questioned anything—so he took all this vampire hunting ideology at face value (also he was in a really vulnerable situation poor guy.) but he only starts questioning stuff when’s he’s assigned to kill our secondary protag—oliver “ollie” robin! (i’m obsesed with him.)

so ollie’s just a chill trans dude who likes to party—currently studying social work at college. long story short he’s making out w/ this dude who turns out to be a vampire, who accidentally bites him. ollie then kinda roughs it in the forest until angel is assigned to him…but just cant kill him. i mean he’s just a guy shaking covered in blood in a shed like how could he hurt anybody?? he’d more likely hurt himself

good thing tho that the vampire hunter corps angel works for has a highly underfunded vampire rehabilitation center!! featuring…

esperanza “espy” cabron—the head of the program—a hyperactive, rabid researcher who Never Sleeps. very passionate about her work. wears contacts but forgets to take them out. always wears her ponytail too tight. also lesbian. theyre all lesbians. most of the characters are sapphic in some way.

and enid hawthorne!! she basically does everything else in the program—researcher, therapist, front desk…on the internet too much, taught espy abt neopronouns (enid’s are she/star and espy’s are she/her/fae/faer) asexual lesbian who tries her best to dress butch but is preoccupied and overloaded with work.

so they take ollie in and a bunchhh of other stuff happens like these guys have been in the COOKER. they are ROTATING in my brain like no one’s business. there’s another vampire named trixie—aromantic lesbian — goth w/ tourettes (i love her)

oh and ollie has a sister who we meet later!! (she’s a high school theatre kid named summer)

(NAHH I FORGOT THERE WAS AN IMAGE LIMIT I’VE DRAWN HER SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭)

anyway idk if ANY of this made sense but these guys are my current hyperfixation

#i’m too lazy to add image descriptions i’m sorry 😭😭#its late where i am #BUT THANK YOU for the ask sorry if this was too much 😭😭#i just love them too much #and i’ve been drawing them so much i’m like gotta post SOME art right???#anyway. done yapping. for now.#answered asks #liz :)#oc tag #doodles #sketches #my art

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bitches-who-write · 1 year ago

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Okay, I’ve never asked for a ship and I’m not sure if I’m doing this correctly. I’m 5’4 (162.56 cm) girl with a dark brown buzzcut. I’m a fourth Indian and three fourths black. I’m about 130 pounds (58.967 kilograms). I identify as demisexual. I’m outspoken, lazy and (apparently) a natural-born leader. I don’t believe in gender norms and try to stay openminded when meeting new people for the first time. I’m also incredibly introverted to the point where distant relatives are genuinely surprised to see me at family reunions. I’m academically gifted and have been a straight-A student all my life despite rarely studying. I also have a big ego. I have a soft spot for animals (especially cats) and prefer them over most people. Ironically, my favorite foods are cheeseburgers and hotdogs. I’m never seen smiling unless I like someone and love to make fun of people. Not with the intention of being mean. Just in a more sarcastic way. My classmates, teachers and my four out of my five siblings view me as the “one in charge”. I also refuse to do anything I don’t have to or want to do. Especially if someone could just as easily do it themselves. My relationship with my parents isn’t good largely due to my father’s lack of interest and my mother being a (former) cocaine addict. Which Bowers member/members would you ship me with?

You did this perfectly!! We're happy to be your first ;)

We ship you with...Belch!!

We've mentioned this in previous posts but just because he isn't as fucked up as Patrick or Henry.

That doesn't mean he isn't a dick.

But out of all the guys...he's probably the most respectful...

He isn't a leader..you saw how he got bitched around by Henry??

He doesn't have a leading bone in his body.

...Maybe he likes to be ordered around??

He will try to stand his ground when it comes to people ordering him around...

He folds so fast.

He thinks it's better to just do it than have to deal with people bitching at him.

This also goes for being outspoken.

He is kinda just there as the wheels.

Tbh I don't even think they actually respect this man.

Belch doesn't really strike me as an introvert but he also isn't extremely extroverted either? He's a good in-between.

So this works out for both of you.

He's always down to hang out at home with you, but he is also really good at getting you out of the house.

Don't worry tho..he always tries his best to make sure everything stays lowkey.

The key word is tries.

You don't make fun of people to be mean but he does.

He will say something about everyone. It gets worse tho when someone says something to you first.

The man knows how to fuck up someone's day.

He learned this from the guys.

LOVES CATS.

He most definitely has a soft spot for animals.

Random dates to the animal shelter.

You two spend hours there.

He has adopted a cat..or two.

HE CAN'T HELP IT. HE GOT ATTACHED.

Be prepared for him and the guys to come to you whenever they have a question they need the answer to.

He always has a smug fuckin look on his face.

It usually turns into a full real smile when he's around you.

Whenever he plans on coming to your house, he will always bring you food.

You don't even need to ask.

#headcanons #henry bowers #henry bowers x reader #imagines #victor criss x reader #patrick hocksetter x reader #victor criss #belch huggins #patrick hockstetter #it 2017 #reginald blechman #belch huggins x reader #pennywise the dancing clown #ship requests #bitches that write

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celestie0 · 5 months ago

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Hallo, hello again Ellie🩷✨!

I hope I’m not spamming you with my messages or something like that (if I am pls tell me)).

To your answer, I would never criticise or bash you about soccer ruler, swear to it🫡. Ngl I literally don’t know half of the rules in soccer. I’m just happy when the ball hits the nest Imao. I am learning some rules through the games but it does take me some time cause I’m lazy and a bit stupid😅.

But through all of this it got me thinking, for which team or club would kick off Gojo cheer.?

In UEFA I was thinking he would be for Spain, Germany or England🤔 Or also Portugal cause they have Ronaldo in it Imao

But for clubs was so difficult cause from my point of view I could see him rooting for Real Madrid but also Bayern Munich or Manchester United😅😅.

Hope you are enjoying your stay in Italy)! The food there was always bomb, so I hope you are having the best Italian food that they could serve you))!!

And relax as much as possible🩷

hiii baby omg no i love your messages sm ty for sending me them!! 😭💕

LOL JUST BEING HAPPY WHEN THE BALL HITS THE NET is so real…that’s all i know of soccer hahahha. it’s sooo hard to learn sports rules tho fs it’s like when someone tries to explain board games rules to you and you’re just like 😨 huh??

i could see him rooting for spain yea!! since i’ve hc that him n choso studied abroad in spain for a bit, n they also played in an underground tourney there, he probs could have some affiliation to them!! and maybe not portugal bc he is a messi fan 🤣🤣

bb idk what the clubs are but imma TAKE YO WORD FOR IT!! HELLA YEA HE LOBES THE REAL MADRID 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼😤😤😤

thanks my looove omg you’’re so cute n sweet <33 yes the food here is fuckin amazing esp considering italian cuisine is just one of my faves in general. like you can really taste the difference although my stomach is suffering a lil from all the cheese 🤣

hope you’re taking care bb n stay hydrated!! hot temperatures all around the globe rn 😓 much love from meee <33

#akapylko #asks #kickoff

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cringe--is--dead · 3 months ago

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Hii! I saw your post about windbreaker match ups and wanted to try it. I’ve never done these before so sorry if its a bit awkward!

I’m considered a leader figure and a mother figure personality wise. Growing up a lot of people always depended on me in a nurturing way and I’d like to think i’m very motherly?? I’m a huge dork tho… (I’ve been told) who’s very passionate about learning (literally anything new) and I’m an extroverted introvert. Just overall i’m a huge nerd who loves learning and encouraging people to learn or improve and I love taking care of the people around me! I’m a generally cheerful person who always tries her best, though I get really embarrassed if people compliment me cause I’m not really used to it

My hobbies include learning (anything), studying what teas/herbs do for the body, like an apothecary, and studying. I love learning about natural medicines. When I’m not studying/learning I love practicing martial arts. I’m constantly trying out new techniques and moves from different styles… (but my base style is a lot of kung fu, taichi, and deflection)

I don’t have pets but would really love a cat or dog! One that is fluffy (pomsky, ragdoll). I’m a cat person in general though!

I’m a dark/light academia girl and my aesthetic of clothes and style are mostly shades of browns and neutral colors. I also wear a lot of turtlenecks. I’m really into the academia style

I didn’t grow up with alot of media aside from anime, so my favorite shows all time are fairy tail and inuyasha! Movie wise I love the Kung Fu Panda movies. Books… Probably the Witch of BlackBird Pond!

I hope this wasn’t too much of a bore to read :C… Make sure to drink water and take care of yourself! Thanks for listening to my character profile lolol

AH! this is my first match-up I’m so excited! >.<

Okay! To he honest my brain immediately went “oooh Umemiya!” but then I went no… wait…

Therefore I’m matching you with Hiragi!

I think this man needs some good balancing out, someone level headed that helps him manage his younger classmates (as well as the other 3rd years), but I also think he needs someone to help him cut loose!

Your study of teas and other remedies is something that you can use and it comes in handy. You brew him teas that not only taste good but help his stressed induced pains! Next thing you know he’s cutting down on his gaskun-10! Good job!

I can also imagine Hiragi as the guy who agrees to adopt a pet because you want to, but swears up and down he won’t grow attached. Then you go to his one day and see your cat napping, cuddled on up a sleeping Hiragi’s chest.

Not attached? Sure.

I also feel like he’s the kind of boyfriend who would spar with you! Yes, he pulls his punches, but because the way you two fight is different in styles, and he doesn’t actually want to hurt you. So you show him new martial arts moves you learn, you have occasionally knocked him onto his ass, and he always feels so proud about it.

He casually brags about it whenever he can. (so all the time)

He’s also the kind of boyfriend who hears you mention a topic you’re interested in once, and next thing you know he’s bought you books about said topic, taking you to a museum or event that deals with said topic, and loves to listen to you talk about all the things you’ve learned!

#scarlet!talks #scarlets!match ups #wind breaker #wind breaker satoru nii #windbreaker #windbreaker satoru nii #toma hiragi

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divkazkdovikde · 4 months ago

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diary entry, monday, 8th of july 2024

guess who came back from the deepest pits of hell to the world of living

i have no idea when was the last time i stopped to think about and reminiscent on my current daily life, new stuff, what was i up to and shit like that, everything is going so so fast and like 99% of time i have no idea what am i even doing. i’m tired, i’m struggling, i’m getting better and i keep getting up every day and that counts

the hell exams period was? my days pretty much consisted of school-work-sleep (if the derranged fucked up not-routine i was pulling off can be called that) on repeat.

- i started working in a coffee shop (real fancy shit- specialty coffee from the forest, boss is a little fucking arrogant bitch (she’s a joke fr) but colleagues are great tho) (it also made me a coffee snob- my greatest nightmare came true) so i’m living the ultimate college experience now

- when i was not at work i was deep down buried in school stuff, and i also went through this four weeks of school internship during the exams, since i refused to complete it in summer, which made me absolutely exhausted to death (had to wake up really fucking early for it) and the studying couldn’t go any slower.

- so i was sleep deprived, frustrated, annoyed and oversensitive for like two months straight (gay) the only people whose companny i could stomach without worrying about my social battery were my flatmate (we were absolutely in it and dying together, shout out to her for always knowing exactly what am i going through) and our friend from highschool (she’s the best, shout out to her for having all those study dates with me and motivating me to productivity, you’re a real one babe, and the girl walks for mental health after almost every session) (and shout out to star girl for even if so far, still always here (if you’re reading this, thank you, you are the best and i’m very grateful for you)

the end of the exams were rather fiasco-esque but i got through it, thank fucking god

anyway, to the fun stuff, during the semester, i had this little sidequest going on, which was doing pixel graphics for my friend’s game. mind you, i’ve never done pixel graphics before. but it was absolutely a fun thing to learn and do. i didn’t think i would enjoy it as much as i did

i also quite lived the social life, some events i enjoyed more than other, but it was lovely anyway. met some new people, saw some of my favourite people too, family time was there as well

culture wise it was not boring either, galleries, trips with friends, exploring the big city, etc etc, you name it

had my birthday somewhere in between too (broke the “i always cry on my birthday because something always fucks up and that’s why i hate them” curse)(got some of the best gifts ever too, like i’m actually so emotional, the best of them all? the new abnormal (my favourite album ever) vinyl - honestly fuck my flatmate for that, i will never top that gift)

i also kind of stole my mother’s old camera (she wasn’t using it anymore, shame on her, honestly) so i’m currently learning how to work with it

got new tattoos

i became an insane plant mom, i have so much of them now fr. two of my plants died, i really tried to save them tho, rip. and another one’s really sick now and i’m getting desperate, because i have no ideas on how to save her left. but the rest is good well and thriving

i haven’t been able to read much lately, if i finally could find the time for it, there was no energy left, so it was a bit weak on that front. but, i did read something, if i have some czech babes here - srpny, jakub stanjura (trust me, it will ruin you, it’s really good) and i started to rereading the trials of apollo (never finished it in the first time, so that’s what the goal now) and i absolutely stopped reading fanfictions (a tragedy, really, i miss it) and i haven’t played any game in weeks either (miss that too). i’m currently trying to catch up those things, since i have a bit more time sans the school

even though i haven’t got time for much of my hobbies lately, i did manage to develop a new one, it’s an obsession at this point tbh. formula one, guys. actually my brother follows it for quite some time now (we can be talking years probably) and i always was like “yeah, whatever.” but somehow, i don’t even know how, these fucking f1 reels kept showing on my instagram and i was like “wow that’s actually kind of funny and definitely cool” and then “let’s go watch dts, to see what the buzz is about” which i enjoyed at first but started to lowkey hate it, seems like a unnecessary soap opera to me, and so i decided to fuck it and just buy the subscription, so i (and my brother in extension, of-bloody-course) can watch the races and other stuff. and i absolutely live laugh love it

- fun fact: it actually helped me a lot to keep motivated. i had it on the background quite often during studying and the buzz, passion, enthusiasm and the fast shit made me buzzing too and kept me motivated, because it sparked my sport’s soul and you know how it is, once a competitor, always a competitor, “if they can drive those fucking fast cars and go through all that, i can study the fuck out of this shit” so yeah, that was and unexpected but rather great turn of events

(i would also like to apologise to everyone i ghosted and/or took ages replying to, here, my friends, my bachelor thesis leader… little miss girl was having a hard time to keep herself going guys, i’ll get better again, i promise, or i’ll certainly try to)

i’m also learning and trying to cook more, i never was really bad at it, but i also never cooked much, so i would like to improve my skills and experience. it always takes my mind off things and i find it quite therapeutic, so yeah

also my reading goal is waiting for me and i can’t wait to get back to the stack of unfinished/unread books again

i have my summer mostly planned out, going to visit some cool places too, can’t wait

i wish i could say i’m happy but life is still playing chess with me and i’ve always been terrible at chess no matter how many years i went to the chess club. but yeah well, you gotta keep going right? try to look out for yourself, keep fighting and stuff like that huh? i’ll be alright, we all will

summer’s here guys, let’s enjoy the shit out of it, i had enough of survival mode

+ current music obsessions:

- touch tank - quinnie

- so high school - t swift (dunno how that happened, smh, it’s so bad fr, but i’m vibing, let the girl vibe)

- gasoline - måneskin

- bon appétit - katy perry (yep)

- moth to a flame - swedish house mafia, the weeknd

- stargazing - myles smith

- birds of the feather - billie eilish

also my favourite playlists lately here: f1 vibes , summer vibes and sunset vibes

#life update #q #diary entry

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